#living in my delulu forever now bye

[brave-and-gentle]

"It's always been you."

Robin Schultz and Jean Kirstein from my OC x Jean fic, Golden Cage. Yes, they are in a graveyard. No, do not worry about it (yet). Robin is also in many ways my self insert, so if any of you freaks were wondering what I look like, this is it. You could also call this JeanBee (my self ship delulu).

Thank you a million to the artist, @zuzusexytiems!! Una, you made this scene that's been living in my head rent free a reality <3 I cannot recommend Una enough for commissions, they are so kind, communicative, and talented! They are also an incredible writer, so go leave positive comments on their all their work right now (or else).

And because I must shameless self promo, here's a link to my ongoing fic on Ao3:

[thesingingrevolution]

tfw when no vampire knight boyfriend

[myunne]

- omg wait heeseung is so quidditch captain codeddd

- also i’m in slytherin (help) but ill let it slide ig

"he's not my boyfriend!" you denied, shaking your head so hard it started to hurt. jay chuckled at your flushed reaction. "relax, i'm just teasing." "i know," you deflate, pointedly looking away.

- im gonna cry you wrote the denial into the body language / dialogue sooo well

he wore a simple black button up, with the last few left open, allowing the world to see the smooth skin of his collarbones. paired with his black undercut, it was honestly a very simple outfit. it's the little details that made him all the more attractive, and it brought your attention to his pink lips. soft and light in contrast to his dark appearance.

- STOP THE DESCRITPFION ISNK SO FIEIODOD I THINK IM IN LIVE WITH THE WORDING

the corners tug upwards into a smile, and you realise he's noticed you looking. you turn away ashamedly and pointedly engage beomgyu in a conversation, ignoring the burning gaze set on you.

- are you trying to kill me. bc i would die if he caught me staring at him i can’t

"please? i'll buy you that one bag you wanted." "are you talking about the dragonskin one? i only mentioned that once,"

- nononoono he remembereddeeejwjsnnsan i can’t take it

heeseung grinned that pretty smile of his. "do you want to kiss me?"

- NO BC IM SCREAMING YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. YOU DONT US WERDTANS

he leans in, closer to the center. closer to you. "i dare you to kiss me."

- I LITERALLY HATE YOU IM GONAN BAN YOU FEOM WIRITING SFOP HES SO KEKSJQKKZK I CANT

you'll probably realise it was a mistake later on, a kiss that never should have happened between two friends. because friends don't kiss, and yet, you can't seem to pull away.

- i don’t even have words for this part likeee. this came from your brain. i’ve never kissed my best friend before but now i feel like ik what it feels like ?? and the knowing you’ll regret it but staying anyway <////3

after all, if you just ran away from the problem, you'd never have to confront it, right? over time, your (five year old) crush will definitely dissipate, right?

- exactly like yn js gets it

“i was waiting for the right time to say this, but then i'd be waiting forever. "i like you, possibly even love you. i don't know when these feelings started, but i realised when jay asked you out last year. i've liked you for way longer before that though. "i suddenly became aware of how, when everyone cheered for me in my games, it was only ever your voice that mattered. or how much i missed holding your hand in my sleep like we used to as kids. and then you kept looking at me with those eyes earlier, and i just needed to know how your lips felt right then. time feels like it stops when i look at you, i think i'm going a little crazy."

- ok that’s Enough. this confession is the only thing i need in life idc other people say “ily” but heeseung says “iwwftrttstbtibwf”

- also jay asked yn out what ??? drama 👀

"y/n, please. can i be yours?" he murmured into your neck. "you always have been."

- i’m done i’m leaving bye gone dead deceased unexisted deleted IM CRYING I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN IM SO DELULU RN

— 💌

- you are literally so good at writing. like your writing style made it feel realistic but so descriptive and the WYA YOU WROTE HEESEUNG IMG

- and the use of veritaserum is so genius ?? especially when r didn’t even say anything under it rlly and the joke at the end >>

- there were so many times reading this where i was genuinely invested like i was screaming irl

- i’ve written / read so many bsf2lovers but this one. WAS SO GOOD like it didn’t even feel chiché despite the tropes it was just so goodd

- AND THE ENDING OMGGG STOPI WILL NEVE GET OVER THE ENDING LINE WHYYY

- i’m literally gonna reread this sm

<3

VERITASERUM. - LHS

; SYNOPSIS - after gryffindor’s victorious quidditch match earlier in the day, celebrations ensue in the common room that night, and you find yourself dragged into a game of magical truth or dare. when you make eye contact with lee heeseung, your best friend since diapers, the smirk on his face has you dreading whatever question or dare he sends your way. 

"do you want to kiss me?"

; PAIRING - heeseung x gn!reader

; WC - 2.8k

; TAGS - one-shot, fluff, barely any angst, hogwarts au, childhood best friends to lovers, gryffindor!heeseung, griffindor!r, truth or dare/spin the bottle trope ; WARNINGS - underage drinking (Plz don’t do this !!!!), kissing

; AUTHOR'S CORNER! i don’t really have anything to say lol

the best thing about being a gryffindor?

the parties.

granted, students will always celebrate a win, no matter what house they belong to. but gryffindor was known to host the best post-match parties. (but maybe you're a little biased.)

gryffindor had won the quidditch match against ravenclaw earlier today by a landslide. that's the fifth time in a row that your house has won in a match - all thanks to heeseung, the team's captain; your childhood best friend since you were eight.

oh, and your crush of five years.

once the match ended, you wasted no time running down to the pitch to congratulate your friend. when heeseung caught sight of you approaching, his face broke into an achingly wide grin, one that sent your heart into overdrive. he spread his arms wide and enveloped you in a hug before spinning you around as you tucked your nose into the nook between his neck and shoulder. he smelled of grass and dirt and was coated in sweat, but it didn't matter to you.

"gross," jake's voice ruins the moment.

looking over heeseung's shoulder, you find jake scrunching his nose at you two.

"couldn't you save the PDA for when you're in private?"

you pulled away from heeseung's embrace and cross your arms across yourself in embarrassment. you missed his warmth immediately. he groans as you retreat from his arms.

somewhere along the journey of growing up, innocent hugs with your best friend gained more implications to their meanings.

"always ruining things," heeseung mutters as he turns to his teammate.

"suddenly, i can't hear," jake smiles with mock-sweetness. he turns to you and nods in acknowledgement. "see you at the party later, y/n?"

"this one over here would never let me miss one," you roll your eyes playfully, nudging heeseung in the side.

by the time you came down from your dorm to the common room, the festivities were in full-blast. half the students looked either tipsy or well on their way to being full-out drunk. you could see people from other houses trickling into the red and gold of the gryffindor common room, streamers and balloons decorating the walls.

"y/n!" you looked to find jay, one of heeseung's friends, had called you over.

"hey," you greeted. pointing at his cup, you asked, "what's that?"

"well, it was originally a non-alcoholic cocktail, but someone had added a full bottle of firewhiskey to the mix."

"ah, so that explains the situation..." you nod in in understanding.

jay pursed his lips. "yeah, and since no one here really drinks much, you can imagine how low the tolerance around here is," he says as he gestures to the common room filled with stumbling and giddy teenagers.

you cringe as you see someone crash into a table, causing the game of wizarding chess another student had been playing on it to fall to the ground. yep, there'll be quite a mess after tonight.

"where's heeseung?" you asked the slytherin, looking around curiously.

"he's gone back upstairs to get something." jay looked at you as he sipped from his drink. "why, is my presence more boring than your boyfriend's?"

"he's not my boyfriend!" you denied, shaking your head so hard it started to hurt.

jay chuckled at your flushed reaction. "relax, i'm just teasing."

"i know," you deflate, pointedly looking away.

it's at that moment you spot jake walking up to you two.

"guys! come here, let's play a game."

"what game?"

"truth or dare." then, he grinned mischievously. "with a twist."

"i don't like the sound of this," you say immediately.

"c'mon, don't you want to play?"

"not really, no thanks."

"everyone's joining, let's go!"

and with that, you were left with no choice but to follow as jay and jake all but dragged you by your wrists.

you all sat around the fire place, with ten or more other students joining in on the fun.

heeseung finally joined just before it started, sitting just opposite you in the circle. you two share a secret smile, one that has you almost forgetting there were other people with you in the moment.

he wore a simple black button up, with the last few left open, allowing the world to see the smooth skin of his collarbones. paired with his black undercut, it was honestly a very simple outfit. it's the little details that made him all the more attractive, and it brought your attention to his pink lips. soft and light in contrast to his dark appearance.

the corners tug upwards into a smile, and you realise he's noticed you looking. you turn away ashamedly and pointedly engage beomgyu in a conversation, ignoring the burning gaze set on you.

jake summons cups full of the (now alcoholic) cocktail in front of everyone, before placing an empty bottle of firewhiskey in the center of the circle. you get a trickle of suspicion that he's the cause behind all of this, but you shrug it off.

"okay. so, as per the rules of the game, whoever spins the bottle is the one asking a question or giving a dare. the person the bottle lands on is on the receiving end of it. if you absolutely can't answer the question or do the dare, then take a swig from the cup." jake then shrugs, stating, "be a pussy and test your alcohol-tolerance, or grow some balls and stay sober."

"you said there was a twist," you remind him. these were all rules of a typical truth or dare game, everyone knew them.

"right you are, y/n!" he smiled brightly, clicking his fingers at you. with a swirl of his wand, he summons a familiar vial labelled 'veritaserum'.

a chill goes down your spine.

"truth serum? wait, isn't it like- illegal to misuse it like this? aren't we breaking some rule about students not being allowed to use veritaserum?"

"it's only breaking the rules if you get caught," he winks. "so, if you choose truth, you have to take three drops of this. that way, we'll know you're definitely not lying, seeing as you can't lie with this in your system." you begin to wonder how many rules jake's broken in the name of fun.

"ready?"

and the games started.

an hour into truth or dare, your cup was half empty.

by this point, jake had half of his left eyebrow singed off, yunjin had become a human magnet, and beomgyu’s mouth and nose had been transfigured into a duck beak. you yourself had half your hair jinxed to a red so bright it hurt everyone’s eyes, but that’s a story for another day.

everyone agreed not to take more than three drops of the truth serum, since no one was really interested in finding out what might happen if they overdosed. besides, the effect lasts up ‘til the morning, so there wasn't really any need to take more every time you chose truth.

not that you chose that option, anyway. the bottle had landed on you a grand total of five times, and you’d chosen dare each time.

it’s not like you had anything to hide, you tell yourself. you just like a bit of challenge, right? right.

after heeseung admitted to having used felix felicis at least once during his games (a little luck never hurt anyone, especially when they won those games), it was his turn to spin the bottle.

heeseung reached for the bottle; you waited with baited breath as it spun around.

every spin that cursed bottle took, you could hear your heart pounding louder and louder in your ears. please not you.

please not you pleasenotyou please-

you lean back and look up to whatever being out there decided to play with you today, because of course it stopped, nose pointed at you.

one look at heeseung’s face doesn’t quelm the uneasiness you’re feeling.

the corner of his lips are quirked up into a subtle smirk, one you can only see because you’ve known him for so long; memorised his behaviour patterns. not even the buzz from the alcohol could stop you from noticing that he’s planning something.

“go nice on me, hee. dare.”

“c’mon, y/n. that’s the fourth dare. are you hiding something from us?” a relatively sober jake asks with a raised eyebrow.

“no, it’s just more fun to complete dares,” you defend yourself.

“it’s fun to tell the truth, too,” heeseung remarks. his intense stare sets a fire in your stomach ablaze. there’s a mix of curiosity and challenge in his eyes.

"just give me a dare," you sigh.

heeseung shakes his head. "i won't ask anything too bad," he says, but you want to accuse him of lying. his questions this game have been the most brutal. and his insistence on getting a truth hints to you that there's a question he really wants to ask.

"please? i'll buy you that one bag you wanted."

"are you talking about the dragonskin one? i only mentioned that once," you say, surprised. your best friend just shrugged and waited for your answer.

if he still planned to hang out with you after this question, then maybe he really didn't plan to ask about your feelings, not in front of all these people, at least. but if you said no, you know heeseung would never pressure you into choosing the truth.

maybe you should have done all the dares you were given, if only so you would have been in the right mind.

otherwise, you would never have asked jake for the vial of veritaserum, which had everyone (who wasn't flat out drunk and were still following the game) cheering loudly.

"truth," you stared heeseung in the eye, gathering fake confidence after your three drops of veritaserum. heeseung grinned that pretty smile of his.

"do you want to kiss me?"

yeah, no. you were a liar (at least, before you took the truth serum). that fake confidence fell away instantly. had you really been looking at his lips that much the whole evening?

"dare." just because you took the serum doesn't mean you can't choose to not answer.

heeseung's smile widened, as if he'd already gotten his answer. he leans in, closer to the center. closer to you.

"i dare you to kiss me."

'oouuhh's and whistles echoes throughout the room, and people who hadn't joined the game turned towards the circle curiously.

you slapped your hands to your mouth in shock, you hadn't expected him to be so upfront. he sat and waited, whether for you to answer his question, or act on his dare.

you don't know if it was the firewhiskey, the chants of everyone saying 'kiss! kiss! kiss!', or maybe the electricity in the air between you two. maybe it was all three, plus the feelings you harboured over these last few years. whatever the case was didn't matter though - not when you went in for it anyway.

in a swift moment, you captured his lips in a kiss, which he reciprocated in pulling you closer, his hands firm on your shoulders. all of your feelings and thoughts pour into the action, setting aside all of the hesitation and doubt to immerse yourself just for a moment.

you couldn't break away, and neither did he. his lips were soft, but so full of life and emotion, fueling you to kiss him harder. a flickering thought that maybe, he felt the same. a small hope that your feelings for him weren't so unrequited. it was exhilarating, treading on that fine line between friends and lovers.

you'll probably realise it was a mistake later on, a kiss that never should have happened between two friends. because friends don't kiss, and yet, you can't seem to pull away.

when you finally did though, heeseung kept you in place, his arm draped around your waist.

"wait," he huffed, panting and trying to catch his breath. you could tell he was trying to gather his thoughts.

you'd been avoiding this, because you had an inkling feeling about the words words he wanted to say, but couldn't. you were honestly scared of what they were: rejection? saying he knew you liked him, but didn't feel the same? pity? disgust?

if he didn't like you back, you would never recover. the end of your friendship - a ten year one all ruined in the blink of an eye. all of the effort you'd put in to it, only to be destroyed by a stupid stupid stupid kiss.

for a long while now, friendly conversations on a winter evening by the fireplace and innocent letters you'd owl to each other's dorm every night no longer seemed to suffice. but you had to accept it, knowing you'd never have a chance with him. so instead, you just avoided that topic whenever the conversation headed in that direction, veering it away to a lighter one.

after all, if you just ran away from the problem, you'd never have to confront it, right? over time, your (five year old) crush will definitely dissipate, right?

and now, you were stuck in an awkward position.

"sorry, can we speak in private?" he looks to jake for permission, who nods with a sparkle in his eye, a smile barely hidden.

heeseung got up from the floor, and dragged you up by your wrist. you tried to ignore all the murmurs, but you couldn't stop yourself from hiding behind your hands. your face was certainly red, and definitely not from the alcohol. you were much more sober now.

when he brought you to a secluded place, heeseung pulled your hands away, and looked at you with concern.

"are you okay? i'm sorry if you felt pressured back there. i shouldn't have done that."

dread filled you, the blood draining from your body and a cool shiver took over.

"you shouldn't have done what? we shouldn't have kissed?" you asked, holding back tears. this was going exactly the way you always imagined.

"what? no!" his eyes widened, speechless for a moment. "y/n, that kiss was everything to me. you don't know how long i've wanted to do that."

you gaped at him, confused. it was your turn to be speechless.

"what do you mean...?"

heeseung leaned back, retreating into himself. he couldn't look at you as he confessed, "i was waiting for the right time to say this, but then i'd be waiting forever.

"i like you, possibly even love you. i don't know when these feelings started, but i realised when jay asked you out last year. i've liked you for way longer before that though.

"i suddenly became aware of how, when everyone cheered for me in my games, it was only ever your voice that mattered. or how much i missed holding your hand in my sleep like we used to as kids. and then you kept looking at me with those eyes earlier, and i just needed to know how your lips felt right then. time feels like it stops when i look at you, i think i'm going a little crazy."

your heart raced, you couldn't believe your ears.

"wait, because i've felt this way for you since we were thirteen. have you really liked me back all this time?"

heeseung turned to you, a meaningful look in his eyes.

"i wouldn't have asked for a kiss if i didn't think about you like that. you're the world to me, and i didn't want to lose you because of how i felt. i don't know where that surge of confidence from earlier came from."

you start to laugh. "you don't know how long i've wanted to do that either," you say simply, relief filling your veins.

"longer than just tonight, i hope?"

"way longer before that," you parroted.

heeseung grinned, and pulled out a gift bag from his back pocket, charmed to hold bigger items.

you gasped. "this is the bag!" you look up at him. "you already bought it?"

it hit you then that this was the 'thing' he'd been getting earlier, back when you spoke with jay.

"i did," he smiled, handing it over to you.

"so when you said that earlier..."

"i planned to give it anyway, whether or not your accepted my dare or not."

"so you're saying i could have avoided all that anyway? i hate you," you folded your arms and rolled your eyes playfully.

"i didn't know you could still lie under veritaserum!" he gasped, with equally as much playfulness in his tone.

"some are less affected," you shrugged.

he laughed before wrapping his arms around you, hanging on the small of your back. you hugged him back, placing a soft kiss on his jaw.

"y/n, please. can i be yours?" he murmured into your neck.

"you always have been."

; TAGLIST - perm . @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii @haechansbbg @gweoriz @maoyueze @manooffline @chocwo @yizhoutv @isawritesss networks . @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels