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trendywaifus · 2 months ago

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↳ you know you’re better than this.

featuring — anya x gn! reader (mouthwashing)

no, i don’t write for mouthwashing, there’s just not any anya content.

cw: dark themes, mentions of sexual abuse, abuse, mentions of pregnancy, vomiting, blood, implications of suicide, character deaths, controlling behavior, triggering themes, angst, panic attack, reader is fresh out of medical school, barely hurt and comfort

6 weeks before the crash.

“ guess who~? “

you croon, playfully hovering your hands over the onyx haired woman’s eyes as you snuck up behind her in the med room. anya was standing in front of the sink, quietly washing her hands. a soft giggle rolls off her smiling lips, body language relaxed,

“ hmm, daisuke?”

you snicker, “ i didn’t know i was a silly boy.”

anya hums thoughtfully while the faucet still runs and her hands soaking wet. “ captain? “

“ yes it is i, the big softie blond with curls! “ you proclaimed, goofily deepening your voice to make the voice of the captain, curly. if curly was here, he definitely would of made fun of your half-baked impression of him. anya lets out a bubbly laugh that makes the corner of your lips curl upwards even more. you fight the urge to hug her from behind and squeeze her silly from how wondrous she is. to think you get to be on a space trip with the woman you love and admire deeply makes you wanna float through the endlessly sea of stars and wonder.

“ now that I guessed you right, can i finish washing my hands and greet my lover properly? “ anya asks in a jovial tone.

“ mhmm~ “ you removed your hands away from her eyes and backed off so she can finish washing her hands. it takes a few moments for anya to finish. she turns the faucet off, grabs a paper towel from the dispenser, and wipes her hands off. after throwing the crumbled paper towel in the small bin, she turns around to finally face you. despite her hues resembling a gloomy grey, they brighten as they drink you in. anya immediately seeks for you, wrapping her arms around your frame and gently brushes up against you. you gladly reciprocate the loving gesture, running a delicate up her back and let it rest on her upper back.

“ so, how’s evaluations going three months in? “ you asked, pressing a quick kiss to her brow, “ has the others evaluations been okay? no crazy confessions yet right? “ you inquired with a teasing voice. anya is far experienced in psychology than you are so you leave the evaluations to her. and because anya’s more outgoing and hands-on, you felt like anya’s more capable of taking on medic role. you were luckily squeezed on this ship as a last minute intern similar to daisuke for the experience. six people on a four-man ship is so far quite the experience. you try not to get in the way of the others and besides anya, you mostly interact with curly and daisuke.

anya pauses, recalling her memories from the monthly evaluations.

“ hm. .—oh! daisuke. .a very bright and funny boy that really puts himself out there. he inspires me to be more optimistic. ugh, he’s also disgustingly lucky when it comes to those board games we play. “ her lips ball up in a cute pout, you laugh, “

“ stop saying he’s lucky, anya. you’re just being a sore loser. just accept that he’s better than you at board games! “

anya playfully rolls her eyes, “ oh hush. don’t tell me you’re on his side. “

you smirked, “ i’m on your side, beautiful—buttt i’m still gonna hand you the truth. lovingly. “

anya tells you about the other three evaluations, curly, swansea, and jimmy. her voice is light-hearted when she talks about curly. she describes him as being kind but a bit reserved. he never talks much about himself. everyone has their own story and perhaps even some like him chooses to not tell his as it’s locked away behind the fleshy walls of his bleeding heart. when anya got to swansea, her tone is the same but it’s dampens a bit; melancholic. she describes the crude mechanic as a man who’s been through a lot in life and still lives on despite his struggles. despite how rough he acts, there’s something about him that makes you feel sorry for him. there’s a sort of loneliness that clings to him like the fresh scent of dry balls after drying your clothes in a dryer. however, you can tell that daisuke’s light is smearing onto the much older man’s demeanor. he’s a little more livelier, although very rough on the edges—swansea expresses his care for daisuke in a tough love kinda way.

when anya finally gets to the gruff brunette man, the atmosphere shifts. her words holds a certain weight to them that makes you feel slightly uncomfortable. her voice is meek and reluctant as she talks about his recent evaluation. you pick up on anya’s careful wording and brief pauses during it. she rests her cheek against your shoulder, holding you visibly tighter as if she’s trying to ground herself through you. anya says that he doesn’t really take his evaluation seriously and makes particularly sarcastic comments at her. great. you don’t like jimmy because there’s something about him that rubs you the wrong way. was it that permanent mean look on his face? that judgmental look in his hooded, brown eyes whenever he passes by you in the hallways? what could have you possibly done to him to make him look at you like that? you don’t really talk to him and care more for curly. he is the leader and main pilot after all.

“ . .if he’s making you uncomfortable, i can do his evaluations for you. psychological evaluations require a one on one session and i can do it while you’re outside of the door.” you mutter, rubbing loose circles into anya’s back.

your lover stays silent for a moment. “ . . .no, i can handle it. but, you standing behind the door instead puts me a little more at ease though, haha. “

“ of course. anya, look at me. “ and she does, pulling her head away to peer at you with those pretty, upturned eyes of hers. a tender palm cups her cheek. anya’s skin feels warm and soft to the touch. “ if anything happens, you’ll tell me right? i may only be the intern but i will absolutely raise hell for you. “

anya smiles at you warmly at you, grayish eyes twinkling with endearment. she leans in and kisses your lips. “ i prefer that you not to because i’d hate for you to get booted into space by the crew. “ she remarks jokingly in between brief kisses.

“ hmm. “ you bring your lips to the bridge of her nose, under the tender flesh of her eye, everywhere until she’s a smiling mess. “ we’ll have to see about that. “

5 weeks before the crash.

restless, you exhale as you blankly stare at the white ceiling. due to anya’s head laying on your chest and her body nuzzled against your side, you can hardly change positions or get up, really. you don’t want to wake her up either.

“ can’t sleep? “ she whispers out gently, her hand that was intertwined with yours, lightly squeezed.

“ mmm, not really. did i wake you up with my defeated sighs, anya? “

“ . . kinda. but i’m use to this by now since this is a habit you like to do when you can’t sleep, (name).”you can hear the fond smile in her voice. after two years of dating, anya’s able to read and soak up your habits. she’s so attentive to your mannerisms, knows when you’re apprehensive by the twitching of your fingers and eyes. she knows when you’re happy, sad—it’s quite ridiculous how could someone so knowledgeable like her is struggling to get accepted to med school several times while it only took you once to get in. you’re not a registered nurse prior to getting into med school or anything like that. yes, you worked really hard—but lets admit it; you were just simply lucky to get in. lucky and currently hundred thousand dollars in debt after finishing.

“ i’ll let you sleep. i think i will just sneak into med bay to finish reading the social animal. i wanna be good at psychology as my awesome, future wife is.” you asked, pressing a chaste kiss on her temple.

anya laughs sleepily, “ oh, stop it. you’re not going to fall asleep in there, are you? “

“ of course not! i’ll come back to you once i’m feeling tired. but, if you miss me or have a nightmare, you know where to find me~ “

she removes her head off your chest and breaks away from you with a soft pout. “ i suppose so. “

you get up from the bed and dipped down to kiss the tip of her pretty roman nose. “ buh bye for now, beautiful. ” you coo, adjusting the blanket back over her body.

“ see you, hun. “

you slip on your slippers and walked out of your shared cabin. besides the sound of the low humming noise of the ship, silence fills the void of the still atmosphere. it’s surprisingly chilly as you exit the sleeping quarters and walk through the narrow-like hallways to medical. your footsteps softly bounces throughout the metal walls and your distorted shadow follows behinds you. there’s a churning feeling in your gut as you walk and walk. was it really okay to skip off to medical at the middle of “night” just to read? wouldn’t it have suffice to simply stay and talk to anya until you were able to fall asleep?

your eye twitch and your fingers curl ever so slightly.

should you just go back to her?

“ hey, you’re still “up.”

a rough voice calls out, ripping you away from your thoughts. you stop walking. your eyes wander over to the source and a shiver runs down your spine. jimmy, still in his jumpsuit, stands by the hallway leading to the cockpit. there’s a sense of uneasiness in the air as his quiet gaze lingers on you, waiting for your response.

“ yeah, can’t sleep. “ you say in a deadpan voice, “ what about you? “

jimmy runs his fingers through his tousled chocolate locks before shrugging. “ same as you. but i’m just taking a aimless stroll. where you headin’ to? “

none of your business.

“ medical. “

there’s something in his eyes that visibly changes; a taunting glint that has you side-eyeing him. a corner of his thin lips curl into a subtle, smug smirk.

“ you’re a little ways to go, dr. intern. “

you roll your eyes and start walking pass him, “ i know. at least i know where to go, mr. co pilot. “

jimmy clicks his tongue behind you, muttering something under his breath before his footsteps become distant in your ears. you turn your head, throwing a quick glance over your shoulder. you see his tall silhouette walking down the direction towards the sleeping quarters. “ smug fuck, i hope you sleep like shit tonight. “ you murmur, trying your best to ignore the sinking feeling in your tummy.

with a tired sigh, you slumped in the chair, turning one of many pages you gone through. the ticking clock in the background occasionally hits your ears as your fingers lazily drum against the pristine white surface of the desk. your droopy (e/c) eyes skim across a quote that leaves the remainder of your conscious mind wondering.

reason and emotion are not separate and opposed. reason is nestled upon emotion and dependent upon it. emotion assigns value to things, and reason can only make choices on the basis of those valuations. the human mind can be pragmatic because deep down it is romantic.

“is it wrong to use only reasoning to make a decision devoid of emotion . .? or is it actually wrong to let your emotions influence your decisions and reasoning? ” you sleepily muse to yourself.

oh, being human is so complicated.

your head perk up at the medbay door sliding open. surprise is written all over your face once you see a seemingly shaken up anya walking inside. her arms are tucked to her chest, hands clutching her elbows.“ anya? it’s only been. .two hours? you had a nightmare already? “ you asked worriedly, standing up from the desk to make your way over to her.

“ i. .y-yes, it was t-terrible. .” anya whispers in a quivering voice. her head is down, avoiding eye contact. you try to grasp her elbow and lure her into your arms but she violently flinches from your touch.

pulling away quickly, your face contorts into a look of worry. “ baby? “

teary-eyed, anya quickly lifts up her head, mustering a shaky smile. “ oh dear, i-i’m sorry. i-i’m just still quite shaken up from the nightmare, h-haha. i need a minute or so to recoup myself. can i stay here with you? “ anya sometimes get nightmares but it was only due to stress. she never had a nightmare that got her like this.

“ . .of course. you don’t even have to ask. here, you can sit on one of those beds. “ carefully, you ghost your hand over the small of her back as you guide her to a bed. she quietly sits down with a soft sniffle and you follow suit. your heart squeezes at the sound of her soft hiccups and the sight of her head down. you can hardly see her face due to her saber strands hanging down. “ can. .is it safe for me to have my arm around you? “

she meekly bobs her head and you delicately curl an arm around her, taking note of her body momentarily stiffening up before gradually relaxing. “ do you want to talk about your nightmare? “

it takes her a moment to reply. “ . . no. i don’t really remember much of it now anyways. “

you frown, leaving it at that despite wanting to push for more. anya always remember her nightmares. there’s something that’s eating away at your gut and it’s making you anxious. you gnaw at your lip and your eyes twitch. you should be focusing on her. whatever you’re feeling right now is the result of your overthinking. you should trust her. it was just a rare, horrible nightmare that gotten her like this.

things can happen unexpectedly without an explanation.

perhaps you shouldn’t push for an answer and leave it alone?

1 week before the crash.

“ hah! i win! in your face! “ daisuke laughs in triumphant, placing his pink piece over on the next move that solidifies his victory. anya groans loudly next to you, crossing her arms and pouts like a kid who gotten their toy taken away. “ this is unbelievable! i almost had it! “

you laughed, “ better luck next time, anya. it seems like the kid has a brighter future than you when it comes to board games! “

ever since that night, anya’s been uncharacteristically a little distant and jumpy. she’d always seek for your touch. but now, she seems reluctant to touch you first. whenever you try to show anya any kind of affection, it takes her a moment to reciprocate. you can’t really surprise her now or she’ll get visibly startled. anya has trouble sleeping and wakes up from the any sound or movement so you have to be still. for the past four weeks, you tried to ask her about her abnormal behavior, and she’d tell you vague reasons like, “ i just haven’t been feeling well. “ or “ that nightmare got to me more than i thought, i’m sorry. “

you’re worried about her—even her smiles are dampened with a sliver of sadness behind them. you really want to help but you don’t know how. it feels like she’s slowly putting a wall between you, her, and her true feelings. at least right now she’s like her old self again. you’re glad.

“ hey guys. having fun in here, huh? “ curly and jimmy walks inside the lounge. the blond waves at the three of you with a welcoming smile while jimmy awkwardly stood behind him.

“ yeah! i was able to beat anya this time! isn’t that right, anya? “

“ mhm, but as usual, it was luck. “ anya says softly, her voice lacking the enthusiasm as it did before. she tucks her arms into her chest. you flash her a look of concern. there it is again, the churning feeling in your belly. why did her mood sour like that? was it because of curly and jimmy’s arrival? your eyes travel back to the two men, quietly observing them. curly ruffles daisuke’s hair as he stood behind the couch daisuke is sitting on. he’s completely focused on talking to daisuke. your gaze transition over to jimmy and his eyes meet with yours.

that same glint he had in his eyes a few weeks ago, has you feeling more than uneasy. then, your mind suddenly flashes back to the subtle smirk he had and him walking back to the direction of the sleeping quarters. not too long after him going over there and you lounging in medbay, anya joins you, trembling and barely wanting you to touch her. you thought about her saying it was a bad nightmare and didn’t remember enough to tell you the details of it. like what you thought about before, anya always remembers her nightmares and only gets them due to stress.

the horrible realization starts to sink in and your heart drops to the very pits of your stomach. it drowns in a sea of dread.

oh god, did he go to her while you were. . .?

you feel sick. why did you ignore that gut feeling in your stomach during your walk to medbay back then? why didn’t you stay with anya? why did you just figure this out now?

you stand up unexpectedly, startling everyone.

“ (name)? what’s the matter? “ anya asks with clear worry. throat dry, you gathered up the strength to cast her a assuring smile that doesn’t reach your eyes in which she notices right away.

“ i. .i need to go to the restroom. i’ll be back everyone. . “

you quickly slide the bathroom door behind you. unable to hold your own weight anymore, you fall to your knees. there’s a suffocating feeling in your chest that’s causing your breathing to become uneven. your mind races back to the evaluations and how uncomfortable anya looked every time she had to do jimmy’s. yes, you stood behind the door to provide her some “security” in the recent weekly evaluations, but god, you actually let her be in the same room alone with this man? her assaulter? you did basically nothing but blindly trusted her words and ignored your intuition.

maybe anya didn’t want to tell you because she knew that you’d make a big uproar out of it, thus making the situation possibly even worse?

or maybe she was afraid you’d look at her differently?

. . .or maybe jim threatened her to not tell the crew?

t r u s t

she kept this in all this time and gave these inconsistent reasons that you knew was out of character for her to make up. . and yet. .you ignored the obvious signals and trusted her anyway. all you had to do was listen to your gut feeling and sit down with her to talk. all you had to say was that you were there for her and you’ll listen to anything she has to say if she wants to talk. you’d do anything for her—anything. even if it meant the cost of your internship which matters practically nothing to you. it’s not like the company was worth shit anyways. what fucking company doesn’t implement locks on doors in rooms where their own employees sleep in? what company just allows someone like him in?

tears bubble in your eyes as you grit your teeth, seething in frustration. you bite down on your bottom until the thin layer skin easily rips and starts to bleed. you bawl your hands into tight fists, nails dig into your palm until moon crescents dig into the flesh. you’re so horrible.

you feel so sick.

this is what she must of felt but much much worse.

you can’t even imagine how she had to process what happened all alone in the dark and walk through the long corridors in dead silence just to get to medbay, to you. you can’t imagine how it feels to hide something so traumatic from everyone while gathering up your broken shards of identity in silence. you don’t blame her—you can never blame her from hiding what happened between her and jimmy. you can only blame yourself for being ignorant and not fully realizing how dangerous he truly is.

your stomach turns upside down and you feel the sudden need to vomit. you scrambled over to the toilet and puke your guts out. series of fat tears roll down your cheeks.

“ ugh. .” you coughed hoarsely, hunched over.

you feel sick. you feel sick. you feel sick. you feel sick. you feel sick—

a few firm knocks on the bathroom door made you freeze.

anya’s concerned voice calls out behind the bathroom door. “ (name), are you alright? are you feeling well? “

you couldn’t even respond properly without hacking which gave yourself away immediately. alerted by your excessive coughing, she successfully slides the door open and rushes inside to your aid.

you never locked the door behind you, did you?

“ i’m here, (name). please, let it all out. “ anya rubs your back soothingly, not bothered by the drool and vomit spilling from your lips. you feel embarrassed under the worried, gentle gaze of anya. she whispers comforting words as you finishing vomiting. she grabs some paper towels and silently offers to wipe your face. you shake your head and gingerly take the towels from her hands and do it yourself.

anya opens her mouth to speak but you interrupt her.

“ it’s funny, “ you half laughed and sobbed, “ how you were able to come in so quickly just as i realized the door wasn’t locked. “

anya’s eyes widen with shock and looks as if she was about to burst into tears.

1 month after the crash.

“ anya, sweetheart? “ you gently call out to her before resting a hand on anya’s shoulder as stood by the sink, soaking curly’s bandages with soap and water. the fresh bandages are slowly starting to run out because of curly’s nonstop bleeding. you and anya both agreed to clean and reuse the bandages after one use to maintain the supply.

she still slightly jumps and turns her head around with a soft smile. “a-ah! s-sorry, (name). what’s wrong? “

“ let me clean the bandages and give captain his meds. you’ve been standing there for the past forty minutes. sit out in the lounge, okay? after watching you the first few times, i know what to do. “

a look of uncertainty dwells on her face as she ponders over your words. gingerly, you place a hand over her stomach. “ please, anya? i’ve seen how uncomfortable you look when you do this for him, you don’t have to hide it from me because i’m your lover. we’ve talked about this. i’ll do anything i can to shoulder your burden and make sure that you’re not pushing your body. “

anya’s grey hues flicker with appreciation and a twinge of guilt. “ okay, i’ll go sit down. if you need me, please holler out. i-i hate to make you do this after—“

“ anya. “ you interrupt her, reaching out to cradle her pale cheeks. they feel warm under your palms. your gaze pools into her own. “ anything. “ you whisper, resting your forehead against hers. anya’s lips pursue in a thin line. you know she wants to object but she swallows her words without anything to wash it down with, leaving behind a bitter taste. you lift your chin to press a lingering kiss to anya’s forehead.

tentatively, anya walks out of the medical, leaving you and a shell of a man in the room alone. a deep sigh runs past your lips and you go over to the half–foamed up desk to quietly grab a bottle of pain meds. “ captain. “ you mutter, walking over to the bed where he permanently lays. what a pitiful sight to witness. curly resembles a meat bag, his limbs left horribly mutated and amputated, his once tan skin is now all gone and long burned off. he’s stripped from his protection and only his vulnerable muscles are exposed. his only eye, wide and blue, stares up at you. you stare back blankly. through a singular sea of blue, you see a mass of fear, pain, and most of all, regret.

“ i don’t hate you, captain, “ you pop the bottle open. “ i’m sure anya doesn’t either. well, anya wouldn’t bring herself to hate you even if she wanted to anyways. “

he doesn’t respond but his permanent wide–eyed gaze continues to stare you down.

“ i’ll give you 5mg of oxycodone before i do your bandages. i’ll give you your second dose afterwards.”

you shake out two pills from the bottle. “ . . .all of this isn’t really your fault. misguided karma can be cruel. however, “ you slowly opened his jaw, the slimy sound of his muscles moving against each other makes you cringe. you see why anya can get more nauseated off of this. “ misplaced trust in a bitter person who’s undeserving of trust in the first place is what gets someone like you in a position like this. “

you hold his jaw, his exposed, irritated muscles twitch erratically against your protective layer of skin. your stomach swirls with a sinking feeling. curly starts to breath heavily, his pupil dilates. you hold one pill between your index finger and thumb. hot tears prickle at the corner of your twitching eyes as a shaky grin stretches across your face, and a bead of sweat rolls down your brow. you feel sick to the utter depths of your stomach.

“ don’t struggle , yeah? “

this wasn’t your worst moment right , curly?

0 days before the crash.

“ curly, fuck, where did he walk away to? “ you stopped curly in the middle corridors, pulling him back by his broad shoulder with a firm hand. curly, who’s face is full of panic and confusion, frantically responds back. “ i-i don’t know but i’m going to go find him to try and talk—“

“ i-i’m sorry, talk? this goes beyond talking at this fucking point! that fucking dog assaulted anya and she’s pregnant! “ you spat, heart full of frustration, “ do you think talking to her assaulter is going to fix shit? do you think doing the bare minimum is going to take back what she went through?! “

he runs a trembling hand through his blond curls. “ i-i understand but—fuck, let me just try—and—and, “

your hand drops to your side and you send him a look of utter disappointment. “ un—fucking—believable. how many times did anya tell you about jimmy? did you know about his shitty behavior even before she got pregnant? assaulted? she doesn’t want to tell me the answer so i’m fucking asking you! “

he stays slient, the guilty expression dawning on his face says it all.

“ . .what a great leader you are, captain. “ you growled, “ allowing that shitty friend of yours to ride this ship and you do barely nothing until the situation blows up in your face. this is what happens when you let your personal emotions dilute your judgment and reason as a leader. this is the outcome. the crew is my responsibility, my ass. if i had it my way, i would of shoved his ass in the cryo pod the second i’ve found out. but alas, i’m not the fucking leader but a damn intern. i held it allll in for a week for this shit? just imagine how anya felt to endure the awful trauma longer than that only for you, the captain, the only person with power, to handle it so horribly. fool.”you turn your heels and stomping back to medical for anya.

4 months after the crash.

“ daisuke. . kiddo, “ you gently call out to him as you find him somberly laying on his back next to the area leading to the cargo. his forearm rests over his eyes.

“ you okay? “

“ no, not really. .it’s just. .i wonder what my mother thinks right now. .she’s probably thinking i’m finally putting my feet into the water, finally learning and figuring out what i should to do in life during this internship. .meanwhile i’m on my back getting wasted off of. .mouthwash. ”

you sit down next to him. you thought about what to say for a prolonged moment before asking him,

“ before all of this, did you enjoy the internship? “

“ i. . .i did. .i was having fun . .with swansea, anya, you, a-and . . “

daisuke lets out a soft sniffle, you just smile solemnly.

“ don’t cry, sunshine. as long as you enjoyed yourself, that’s all that matters. even in the predicament we’re in now. .let’s have hope. once all of this is over, your mother will be proud that you got through this internship and you should tell her allll about what you did and learned with the ol’ man swansea. that man is a hot mess but i know he enjoys you as his intern.”

“ . . .really? “ he meekly asks, peeking at you from under his forearm with teary eyes. god, daisuke looks like a sad puppy.

“ of course, kiddo. “ you force out a happy laugh to appease him. you hate to lie to him but as long as jimmy is attempting to play captain, the situation will continue to spiral down into the abyss. you know with absolute certainty that jimmy was the one who caused the ship to crash. the fact that man pinned the blame on his close friend, who was trying to see good in him, for crashing the ship is beyond disgusting. judging from curly’s recent evaluation from anya before the crash, he did seem a little melancholic. but, for him to drastically make a reckless decision to sabotage the ship and everyone in it? he wouldn’t do that even if it was on his mind. jimmy on the other hand. .

“ oh. .it seems like you beat me to him. is he alright?”anya’s relieved voice rings in your ears. you draw your attention over to your partner who’s walking down the corridor towards you and daisuke. she uncrosses her arms that was once tucked to her chest and you raise a brow.

“ yeah, just a little sad but i was talking to him. how’d you know he was here? “

her gaze averts to the ground and you jump up, anger bubbles in your chest. “ jimmy, wasn’t it? what did he do? he didn’t hurt or yell at you or anything, did he? “

you pace over to her and rest your hands on her shoulders. “ no, no—seriously, i’m okay. . he sent me here to check on daisuke while he took care of some things. i was just surprised you were here. “ it had to be more then that.

sighing heavily, you turn back to daisuke who was now attempting to get back on his feet. “ daisuke, be careful. .has swansea been making you drink that mouthwash stuff again with him? “ you questioned skeptically, walking over to him to assist him back on his feet. wobbling, the brunette boy softly groans as you let him rest his arm loosely around your shoulders for support.

“. .no. .yeah. . i. .may. .kinda, totally have went overboard with it this time. b-but i gave it to jimmy because i didn’t wanna mess with it anymore. “

aggravated, you smack your teeth, “ so you’re saying that he saw you like that and didn’t even bother to help you up himself and sends anya down here instead? i’m so sick of his shit! some fuckin’ wannabe captain he is! you could of threw up and choked on your own damn vomit! that careless fucker knew that! “

“ you’re starting to sound like swansea. “ daisuke mutters through his drunken haze.

anya speaks up in a soft voice that’s mean to calm you. “ (name), you have to calm down. i understand that you’re upset. .but we need to rest daisuke down somewhere in the lounge. “

your eye twitch and your lips purse. she was right. plus, you don’t want daisuke to hear all of this while he’s struggling with his own inner conflicts. even the effects of the dire situation is dawning down on him and taking a toll on his mental health.

but fuck, you’re tired of being quiet.

d o s o m e t h i n g

? ? ¿ ! months before the ????

you can’t sleep. a soft sigh leaves your lips. anya’s body lightly stirs besides you. you don’t want to leave her but it’d be right to check up on curly to see if he needs his meds. there’s no time clock but curly’s groaning and restlessness indicates you that it’s time for his painkillers. if he is in pain, you’ll just give him his meds and come back to anya. it’s been a straight shot to the medical room ever since the crash. the foam has completely fucked up the sleeping quarters. . maybe it’s for the better or worse now. everyone is bunched together in the lounge room with extra sleeping beds from the medical. luckily, there hasn’t been any problems amongst the crew and it’s easier to keep in eye on jimmy.

“ anya, “ you whispered out to her. she lays on her left side, facing you. pieces of her shaggy hair prettily hovers over her tired eyes as they fluttered open. “ yeah? “ she responds back, you send her a small smile, reaching out to brush the strands away from her face.

“ i’m going to go check up on captain in the medical. i’ll. .be back, okay? if this dumb thing goes off, “ you gesture to the broken robot standing an inch away from you and anya’s sleeping bags. thankfully it’s able to go off, albeit broken thanks to jimmy. originally, anya suggested the idea and you couldn’t agree more with it.

“ i’ll be running to you so fast like how i did after i found out that passed my final exams. “ you whispered playfully.

recalling the joyful memory, a soft giggle leaves anya’s lips. she remembered you were so anxious and restless over the final exams that she kept having to pinch you and make you run with her to get your mind off of things. once you found out that you passed med school, you ran so fast to anya while she was waiting outside of the campus for you and nearly ran her over. she nods with a beautiful smile that you missed so much. anya was always a carefree woman who was willing to go through hardships with a cool–mind and solutions. but, after this overhaul trip going downhill and the terrible shit that’s happened and is currently happening—the light in her eyes is duller. it mirrors her reserved and almost timid-like behavior now.

that’s not who anya is—that’s not her and that’s not who she should by the damages of a terrible, insecure man who refuses to swallow down his own ever-growing problems like a hard pill and take responsibility for his self-sabotaging actions. you bet he’d choke on himself and self-destruct if he ever tried swallowing. all he ever does is vomit and project himself onto others.

“ okay. we can also clean his bandages after we’ve rested. “ anya suggests.

you shake your head, ghosting a hand over her belly. the bump has slowly been getting bigger but isn’t very noticeable to others. “ there’s no we, just me. the last time you got nauseated, you asked jimmy to give curly his meds while i was busy with daisuke and. .he. .” you trailed off and sighed with frustration. you still can’t get over anya telling you the truth about jimmy getting frustrated at her for asking him to give curly his meds because of her nausea.

absolutely horrible.

before anya can say anything, you give her a quick kiss on the forehead.

“ i’ll be back this time. “

you got up carefully to not alert the broken robot and paced towards medical. as you did, you glanced around the lounge to see who’s in their respective sleeping bags.

daisuke is laid out asleep.

swansea has been sleeping by the utility and now you know why he was does. you don’t have any objections to it. it’s only fair for the sunshine to be preserved.

jimmy is no where to be found. cockpit, maybe?

as you near the medical, alarming sounds of struggling and curly’s groans made your heart drop. frantically, you sprinted towards the door and slammed it open.

s e c o n d c h a n c e

“ wh-what the fuck are you doing, jimmy?! g-get off of him! “ her

you ran over to the self-proclaimed captain who was hunching over the defenseless curly, shoving pills into his mouth and down his throat while beating at his stomach. with all of your strength, you shoved jimmy backwards, pulling him away from curly’s mutilated body, who helplessly laid there in the bloodied medical bed, crying and groaning in pain.

“ are you out of your fucking mind, you crazy fuck?!”you screamed at him while he has this mixed, horrid look of panic and frustration on his unshaven face. the pill bottle clutched in his hand made a loud rattling noise as he drops them on the tile floor and it rolls next to you.

“ i-i— h-he was. .m-making too much n-n—oomph! “

thanks to your adrenaline, you shoved him—hard, causing him to stumble back against the desk. pill bottles tumble and crash onto the floor.

hurried footsteps approach the medical from the loud crashes and yelling.

“ so your fucking solution was to beat up that poor man who can’t even goddamn defend himself now? let me fucking remind you since you’re too busy trying to play captain and can’t take responsibility! that man is laying there, the way he is now, because of—ugh! “

in a burst fit of blind rage, he returns the favor and presses his heavy palms against your chest, harshly shoving you backwards. you try to maintain your balance, but your foot accidentally steps on one of the pill bottles, and you fall backwards onto the solid floor, hitting your head. hard.

crack!

you almost instantly black out. not before hearing a loud gasp and anya’s frantic shouting.

“ (name)! j-jimmy. . . at . .did. . .u do?! “

¿!!! ?????????

just me and you vs the world, anya.

“ seriously? this show is so horrible, anya! even my dad who has terrible taste in tv shows, can’t watch this! “ you groaned exaggeratedly, sinking your cheek into your palm, slouching on the elbow of the couch. anya shrugs with a smug smile, placing the tv remote down on the coffee table.

“ well that’s tooo bad, hun. i need to binge this show to clear my mind out completely. all i need is my go-to-combo i usually get from wendy’s. “

you roll your eyes, “ it could of been at least mcdonald’s or something. but. .wendy’s? “

“ they have the best frosties! don’t act you dislike it because they messed up your order once. “ she giggles, leaning over to playfully hit at your ankle.

the show starts and you can barely stomach it. you don’t understand how she zeros out her mind from watching this stuff. it’s so cheesy and bad.

you peer over at anya and just as expected, she’s watching it like she’s into it. anya’s sitting up against the couch, legs crossed while she’s wearing a oversized t-shirt and pajamas. her heap of black shaggy hair that reaches just below her shoulders, was beautifully messy. usually at night, she doesn’t really bother with it. her fair skin shines pretty under the tv light. her pretty lashes fluttering and downturned eyes glistening with interest as she watch the corny reality tv show—god, she’s so breathtaking.

“ so, anya. “ you speak up as soon as the tv cuts to commercials. her undivided attention draws over to you and you cast her a goofy, suggestive smile.

“ while this commercial runs, wanna makeout? “

she blinks at you several times as if to process your question and bursts out laughing.

“ ewwww! “

“ ewwww? what the hell, baby! c’meree. “ you get off the elbow of the couch to playfully grab and pull at the laughing anya’s arm to pull her closer.

“ we’re not some bored teenager couple, you know! “

you successfully pull her into you, wrapping your arms around her body. “ feels like we are when i’m with youu~ “ you coo, puckering your lips at her with teasing intent.

anya blocks your lips with her palm and you immediately lick at it. she gasps and retracts her hand away, allowing you the opportunity to topple her over and kiss all over her pretty face and pouty lips.

“ hehe, (name)! “

once you’re done with your barrage, you bury your face into her neck.

“ marry me once me and you become doctors, anya~ ” you croon, melting into her body.

there’s a momentary pause before her smiling voice responds to you, full of adoration,

“ of course. i wouldn’t have it any other way, (name).”

??? ??¿ is it finally over ??¿!

your eyes peel open, a surge of sharp pain and confusion shoots through your body like a needle. but, once your gaze immediately locks onto the woman you love above you, your heart calms a little. she doesn’t notice that you’re now awake and stares off into somewhere with brooding eyes.

“ a-anya? “

anya’s eyes widen and she snaps her gaze down at you in surprise as your head is currently laid on her lap. tears swell in the corner of her reddened eyes.

“ y-you’re awake again! i-i thought you were finally. .”

despite not being able to move your body from the waist under and through the pain pounding in your head, you smile weakly at her.

“ f-finally what? i-i told you i’ll come back to you. although. . .“ your eyes search the dim setting around you. it’s blurred and bright. it seems like you and anya are in the medical? didn’t you come back from medical after checking up on curly?

c o n f u s i o n

“ why aren’t we in bed? we’re in medical right now. . “

anya’s lips trembles as she struggles to not cry.

“ we’ve decided to rest in here and talk like we’re a bored teenage couple. “

you let out a weak laugh. “ r-really? my br-brain is all over the place right now. everything is starting to feel and look fuzzy. “

your eyes starts to dilate and unfocus but they never leave anya. she says nothing, and quietly caresses your cheek.

your skin has become more discolored while you were unconscious.

how many hours?

how many hours has it been since she locked herself with you and captain? and how many times has her thoughts endlessly ponder and ponder over jimmy’s words he once said to her months back?

t a k e c a r e o f i t

“ a-anya. .? “

anya forces out a smile. her quivering fingers brush away the sweaty hair sticking to your forehead.

my hands are s h a k i n g.

“ . .y-yes? “ anya can barely contain the heartbreak in her voice.

“ w-we’ll take of it together. “ you slurred, “ o-once i get my l-license, i’ll support us and you don’t need to w-worry about a thing. o-once the baby is born, i’ll take care of them while you st-study to get into medical school again. i-i’ll. .even help you. .too. i st-still have my. .notes. “

dark red liquid seeps down your nose. she sees the light becoming dull in your dilated (e/c) hues that she adored so much.

the external bleeding and swelling in your head is pulling you under.

a quiet sob slips from her throat and she gently brings your head up to her chest. her body shudders as she weeps.

there’s a few broken whimpers that sounds far too strangled to be hers or yours.

“ . . d-don’t cry, an. .ya, i. .i’m just g-gonna sleep. y. .you holding. .me like this. .makes me feel at ease. .i. .can finally sleep. .without. .leaving. .ou. .”

your eyes vanish behind discolored eyelids and your head slack against her.

and there’s a gaping hole akin to a black hole that swallows everything that bounded her down, her dreams, her hopes, her love, her fear, her emotions.

what’s left is reason—a reason to the best decision that anya alone can finally act.

with a strangely calm mind and red-rimmed solemn grey eyes, she glances up at the few bottles of pills now left on the desk.

you know you’re better than this.

m a k e n o m i s t a k e , t h i s i s n ‘ t m y w o r s t m o m e n t.

far from it. this is the best decision i’ll ever make.

i’ll take care of it.

everything’s black—but you hear banging, voices, bottles rattling, pained whimpering and strangled noises that sounds similar to a heartbroken man crying.

you slip back into momentary consciousness. through blurred vision, you see a slumped figure above you. you can’t identify who it is but red smears leaves a bit of a hard contrast to your unfocused eyes. without thinking, your feeble hand reach out and you’re only able to make contact with their chin, just with the tips of your fingers.

from one small touch, you can tell the skin long since lost its warmth and now is cold to the touch.

an unknown sorrow strikes your chest and you finally pass with a heart full of confusion, leaving it in a headlock.

#anya x reader #mouthwashing x reader #mouthwashing #anya x reader mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing

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moondemon21 · 9 days ago

Note

Can you do the Tuplar crew reacting to their S/O singing

(This could be their favorite song or just a song of your choosing to pick for this fic )

Hii! :D

I love this idea of the crew reacting to their S/O singing, I honestly not to sure about the song so I going to leave it to your imagination 😋

I want to say that I'm sorry if the characters are a bit off this is my first time doing any tipe of story so I hope you guys like it (and I sorry but I don't feel comfortable writing about Jimmy 🤷🏽‍♀️

Curly

He decide to go to your room because he need to ask you some things, that's when he discovers you singing

He will probably freak out at first

But not in a bad way, he simply stares because he don't know if interrupt you or simply leave or wait until you finish 😭

You end up seeing him in you door like this 🧍‍♂️

You two stare in to each other a few seconds

And you finally start laughing because of the look of his face 😩

He snaps back and start laughing with you, then he start apologising for enter without knocking first

He definitely will tell you how GOOD you sound and start saying a Lot of compliments about your voice

If he knows the song will probably ask you to sing with him

If he dont know the song will probably ask you the name so he could memorise the lyrics and sing with you

And after all of that he will remember that he needs to ask you some questions 😭

Anya

You knew that Anya was tired so you decided to clean the medical bay as a gift for her

Well, it was supposed to be a surprise if Daisuke hadn't fallen and scraped his knees trying to do a little prank on Swansea

When she enter the medical bay trying to find the first aid kit and finds you there cleaning and singing, she can help but laugh a little bit because of your intentions

You didn't know how to react at first, after all the last person you were expecting to see doing a gift for Anya was Anya 😭

You stop the music and start telling her the little surprise you were supposed to give her

She thank you a LOT and ask if you can help her with daisuke

Poor Daisuke was sitting on the couch with his knees bleeding while Swansea scream at him 😞

After all of that you two were back at the medical bay she start telling you that she loves your voice and will ask you to sing more

She will sing with you if you two were alone

And will ask you the name of some songs and create a mix tape that she will put when you two are together

Daisuke

You two were added to the crew in the last moment so you have to share "room" (Which is actually the living room with some mattresses and blankets💀)

You were getting ready for sleep while daisuke complete a tasks that Swansea give him in another room

And how the kitchen was so close you decided to drink a little water before sleeping

You start to sing while waiting for the water to make

And in that moment daisuke just have finish the task and enters the room

You didn't realize that he was in the room until he starts singing with you

You stare at him like this 😶

And he just start laughing at your face 😔

He immediately hugs you while saying how good you sound and how much he loves your voice

Definitely ask you to sing with him more

And he starts showing you more songs that he likes so you two can sing together

He makes a mix tape with songs that both like so you can sing and dance with him

After a while singing with him when you two can't sleep becomes normal

And Swansea screaming at you two to make silents becomes normal as well

Swansea

He tell you to go to the utility room because he need you for some task and wait in there

You wait like 15 minutes for him 😩(according to Swansea it was only 5 minutes😑)

You eventually start singing to pass the time and not get bored

He finally enters and just telling you to shut up and help him

He will act like he is annoyed because of that but in the end he will say that you voice is not so bad

But you have to ask him if he likes your singing because he is not going to tell you otherwise

If you start singing around him more often he will just say something like "is better than the last time" or "you sound better than daisuke" but you know that he means he really likes your voice

#mouthwashing x reader #anya mouthwashing #anya x reader #daisuke mouthwashing #daisuke x reader #curly mouthwashing #curly x reader #swansea mouthwashing #swansea x reader #X reader #Reader #Mouthwashing #Tulpar crew x reader

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verdantwyrm · 29 days ago

Note

Do tell about those Mouthwashing headcanons of yours. I'd like to read them.

You have no idea how long i've been waiting for this [rubs my little hands together] this is going to be EXTREMELY LONG and definitely traces of my own little AU which i've dubbed thee... Afterwashing. Its a bit of everyone dies but everyone also lives. sorta. Curly doesn't end up as fucked as he is, Swansea actually manages to hit Jimmy and sliced directly into his shoulder. Swansea actually got the Cryopods working, and just before everything went to shit he was able to convince Anya to take the others into the cryopods. Still ends up dying but his sacrifice will be known forever:

Pre Crash Curly

- 35 Years old, born December 22nd. Full name is Grant Kirk Curly. Australian British.

- Absolutely a gymrat, bit over the top but he has genuinely the best intentions. He's really big on the aftercare of exercising, hydrating, massages, stretches, it's a fine art to him. A ritual, almost.

- Loves cooking but can only make an assortment of five dishes. Spaghetti, Meatloaf, Risotto, Lasagna and he makes a real mean Stir Fry. It's all very simple food, he doesn't need it to be extravagant. Food is a big love language for him, so when he was forced to go on packet diet for space travel, he cried for six hours.

- Even though he's british, he has roots from Australia. You can still kind of hear it sometimes when he uses his Captain Voice. Daisuke and Anya teased him a little about it.

- He was actually promoted against his will. Originally he was an just apart of the maintenance crew on a larger ship called Sleipnir, it was the second largest delivery freighter right behind Arion which had a crew of three hundred and eighty five people. It was an absolute marvel of machinery, built to deliver other machinery and high tech equipment. When that ship was retired, he was forced into a promotion of Captain, since no one wanted to take the Tulpar and he happened to be around at the time and couldn't bring himself to say no.

- He doesn't have a very distinct taste in music. He will just listen to whatever sounds good. When Anya and Swansea found out they immediately forced him to listen to "real" music and then soon they all made a collaborative playlist which now haunts the Tulpar.

- Curly grew up with a very large family, a middle child of sisters and brothers, he often found himself being told he was lucky to come from such a big, warm family. But the truth is, he found himself ignored alot. His older siblings were well out of school and his younger siblings were too little to stand on their own, so he rarely got any attention and he eventually moved out of home at seventeen to move in with Jimmy, who he became friends with because of their shared loneliness.

- Curly actually had a mullet once, but Swansea forced him to cut it. He said it made him look like a "Hippie" and he couldn't stop laughing. Anya says she liked it, and he regrets cutting it because of that.

- He has met Anya previously on a past delivery years ago, they used to sneak away together to smoke or to complain a little about work. Anya was an intern nurse under the head doctor, Maddie, who was very uptight and constantly cranky. When they met on the Tulpar again, that flame was reignited and it soon developed into a hallway crush that never left the hallway.

- Curly actually knew Swansea for the longest, he was one of the other head mechanics on Slepnir, and they got along really well. Curly is glad to have a familiar face on the ship (Besides Jimmy and Anya) that actually greatly impacted his life and helped him steer towards the topic of his career and his future. He never got to do what he wanted thanks to the sudden promotion, but he's grateful for his teachings nonetheless. Curly wanted to repair and build aircraft for a living, back on earth. He still dreams about it, sometimes.

- Loves Snowboarding, hates Skiing. He also really likes surfing but the hot weather doesn't agree with him.

- To me, he's bisexual but genuinely has no clue. If the circumstances are right he'll sleep with a guy and try really hard to not think too hard about it. It's embarrassing to him especially since he hasn't had much experience sexually or romantically, but he won't say no to a cute guy.

- His relationship with Jimmy has been up and down. When they were teens, Jimmy was just angry and lashed out at people. He had alot of paranoia and used it to fuel his own rage, but he always went on about how guilty he felt and how he hated being angry and how it used to tear him up inside about being exactly like his father. Their relationship was very briefly romantic and then sexual, but that ended quickly after Curly got accepted into pilot academy and started seeing Jimmy less and less. Jimmy resents him for this, Curly isn't even aware of it.

Post Crash Curly

- 39 Years old

- He was rescued from the crypod by a passing ship called Embarr, a small crew of fourty people. It was a medical emergency ship sent out to actually retrieve the dead bodies of another ship, and they happened upon ths Tulpar on a detour due to significant asteroid interference. Jimmy, Anya and Daisuke all miraculously survived, Swansea's body was never found.

- Managed to come out of it pretty unscathed with only the left side of his body being the most damage. He still needed amputations, but only on one arm.

- He was in a coma for three months as his body was slowly defrosted and pumped with all the necessary fluids. An autopsy was performed on him originally thinking he was dead. He was not. And they thankfully realized the mistake before it became life threatening and took them all back to earth to receive the best medical care possible.

- Vegetarian. After being forced to eat his own flesh, he can't stomach meat now. It's too upsetting.

- Still enjoys working out, even if its extremely limited. The moment he was allowed to do any physiotherapy or even walking again, he would push himself constantly, even if it hurt. He had subconsciously made exercise as a way to distract himself from the depression and psychological issues he had, so that being no longer an option really worn him down.

- Curly took up a permanent residence in the hospital after waking up. The doctors have urged him to go and live his life, but he struggles to understand why he would even want to. Developed a serious bout of agoraphobia that prevents him from leaving.

- As soon as he was able, he immediately told Anya and Daisuke the truth, about who crashed the ship and what had happened. Anya is still struggling to accept and understand the truth, but she's coming around slowly.

- He has denied skin grafting and facial reconstruction surgery multiple times now, mainly because he's worried about whats going to happen if he doesn't look like himself anymore or even like what he sees in the mirror. That he won't be able to recognise who he is anymore. He's slowly warming up to it, but very slowly.

- Has a guide dog named Laika, it helps him see and also helps him go outside and overcome his agoraphobia.

- He's learning how to cook again, after the crash. alot of his tastebuds were destroyed from mouthwash and starvation, so he's had to teach his body how food tastes again. He's developed a new love for custard.

- Still thinks about Anya, hopes to rekindle something with her in the future when she's ready.

Pre Crash Anya

- 34 Years old, born April 4th. Full name is Anya Musume, Czech Romanian.

- Her favourite movie is Bambi, she cries everytime it's on. Curly laughs at that but he bursts into tears while watching Brother Bear.

- She likes to knit, kind of sucks at it but she needs something therapeutic.

- She goes through alot of different hobbies and finds it difficult to stay in one place. She also has an infinite knowledge of completely useless facts she likes to bring up randomly, loves learning new things and is very hard to pry away from a good book.

- Also a gymrat, definitely not as much as Curly is but she enjoys jogging alot. Sometimes when she's getting mad cabin (ship?) fever, she will do some laps around the lounge room or hallway outside of utility. She likes to keep active and its become a way for her to think or concentrate, suffers the most from sitting still for too long. She sometimes does stretches with Curly, and he helps her find new ways to exercise or keep active in such a small place.

- Her favourite food of all time is cheeseburgers. Its her number one guilty pleasure and absolutely orders those ridiculously huge ones with seven different layers of fillings. She has a huge appetite and it lowkey scares people simply because of how much she eats in one sitting. She also enjoys a really good french onion soup from time to time, but the onions make her cry uncontrollably.

- Actually wanted to be a paediatrician once. After being denied a consecutive six times, she decided to just do whatever she would qualify to. Became a little depressed with it all, but still applied a two more times just in case. Shortly after being denied an eighth time, Pony Express approached her and it all went from there.

- Bisexual and knows it, probably has something funky going on with all that gender stuff too but she doesn't care too much. Has absolutely slept with girls before, liked it alot. Her first time was with a butch lesbian on the back of her car. She is very confident sexually and physically, she just enjoys wearing sweaters and jackets.

- Doesn't have a very big family. Her parents are divorced and she was forced to raise herself and her little sister. When her little sister turned 18, she got married immediately and left home to be a housewife. This put Anya in a bit of a spin and made her dive into some questionable relationships with some very lazy people.

- She also had a huge crush on Curly, but she would just bury herself in work to avoid thinking about it. She tried to somehow mix the two and get him to open up and try to get him to relax around her, but it never worked. He was always weirdly tense and rigid, despite being happy and smiling, there was something very deep beneath the surface.

Post Crash Anya

- 38 Years old

- Sort of gave up on her dream to be a nurse. She would absolutely love to, but her mental health has declined too drastically to study or even apply again and she has no money to even continue studying. Right now she's working as a librarian, she enjoys the quiet.

- Being put inside the cryopod basically froze her unborn baby, you're not supposed to operate the pods if you're pregnant and because of that she miscarried. She has alot of very mixed thoughts about it all, but is glad nonetheless. Would love to have children of her own someday.

- Still yearns for Curly, doesn't know how to move on, she's not even sure if she wants to move on.

- Her suicidal tendencies are still very present, and she can no longer be trusted around medication. She has to go to the hospital to take it and says hello to Curly everytime she does.

- Sometimes has sleepovers with Daisuke or Curly just to have someone nearby. She misses the constant, constant noise of the ship, and she knows they do as well. Its hard adjusting to silence.

- Wears her glasses more often now, never realized how badly she needed them until now.

- Has alot of self harm tendencies, scratches and peels at her skin as a nervous tic.

- Has a pet cat named Rosa, its a therapy animal to help her relax and calm down, she has really bad OCD and constantly triple checks everything is locked, turned off or on. She gets really ahead of herself and it can be exhausting.

- Still watches movies, brings over brother bear and has a real good cry with Curly sometimes. She's developed a passion for romance movies, it fills a little part of her soul each time. Her favourite is The Notebook. Definitely into some real cheesy stuff but it makes her happy.

Pre Crash Jimmy

- 37 Years old, born January 18th. Full name is James "Jimmy" Zare. American Australian.

- He's a chronic self harmer, littered in burns, cuts, bruises and scars. If smoking or alcohol doesn't take the edge off, he has a tendency to mutilate himself or he drifts endlessly. Before joining PE, he used to dissociate alot and it would never end well. After joining PE he got put on some serious stabilisers and anti-psychotics it switched his hazy, passively suicidal behaviour for a very angry and bitter one. Curly isn't sure if it was for the best.

- He didn't come from the greatest family. His parents were devout Christians. He had two younger sisters, and his mother was pregnant with another. After miscarrying, his parents got divorced because his father believed it was a sign of infidelity or shame, and his mother basically turned into a husk. Unable to speak, unable to take care of herself, completely and utterly empty. So with the added stress of his father dissapearing and then also having to raise himself and his sisters, he's developed a very nasty opinion of women and believes them to be weak and a nuisance. Jimmy was always extremely jealous of Curly's family, and never believed him wheb he said it was also really hard growing up.

- He wanted to be an engineer growing up. He actually bonded with Curly over their shared interests in machinery, and soon it branched from there. They met in highschool but got separated when Curly moved. Years later in a drunken stupor, he found himself miraculously at the doorstep of Curly's new life, and ever since then he's never been able to get rid of Curly.

- Jimmy's favourite animal is Hyena

- Has multiple tattoos that are equally trashy as they are shitty, he almost convinced Curly to get a matching one. Plenty of piercings have been ripped out of his body.

- Jimmy only got into weightlifting because Curly said he would pay for his membership. Jimmy isn't as strong as Curly is, its more the adrenaline that kicks in that keeps him ontop.

- Cut his hair to mimic Curly's but it lacks any real volume so it doesn't look like it.

- Closeted homosexual, open homophobe to himself. Alot of his feelings towards Curly are sexual in a way, but because of his upbringing and relationship examples he thinks this is normal and indulges in them quite often. Would never admit it.

Post Crash Jimmy

- 41 Years old

- Got sentenced to life in prison shortly after Curly regained his ability to speak coherently. Even though alot of the details for the legal case were skewered, Anya and Daisuke both showed up with their own cases to prove Curly's argument and they won.

- Before heading to jail, Jimmy actually got arrested three different times for breaking and entering. He was found trying to steal from his old place, which had new tenants and didn't even have his stuff anymore.

- When he killed himself, he managed to just barely miss all of his very important brain functions. He needs a cane to walk but refuses to use one so he limps a bit. He also has seizures and his schizophrenia has gotten significantly worse. He has a large scar on the side of his face now.

- No longer cuts his hair. It's grown past his shoulders now.

- Curly was able to finally sever ties and no longer speaks to Jimmy. He actually has an automated monthly card come in for Jimmy specifically because he knows it pisses him off. Jimmy's youngest sister visits sometimes.

- Goes by just "James" now.

- Sobered up against his will, got put on new medication that no longer makes him as angry, he's just bitter and cold.

- The blow from Swansea into his shoulder was brutal and it almost completely destroyed his arm, he's been learning how to use it again but struggles to commit.

Pre Crash Daisuke

- 25 Years old, born June 5th. Full name is Junpei Daisuke, Filipino Japanese.

- A bit of a perv but an extremely respectable way. He won't harass girls or make them uncomfortable but if you give him verbal consent that he's allowed to stare he isn't gonna hold back.

- Massive mama's boy. Never wants to admit it because he thinks others will tease him for it.

- He actually really dislikes chocolate, and prefers his sugary treats to be that of candy or gummies. Chocolate makes him sick too quickly. He has a bit of a sensitive stomach to coco.

- Has a belly button piercing, he says he was dared to do it but thats not true. He also has a tattoo that he cannot show anyone. (Its a trampstamp)

- Actually had a huge massive crush on Curly when he first met him. It was really embarrassing, but it mostly comes from jealousy. Curly is so much bigger abd stronger and Daisuke hopes to be like that one day. Extremely sexy and handsome.

- His favourite board game is monopoly because Anya always wins that one. He likes seeing her happy.

- Wanted to be an artist but after hearing about his parents financial troubles he gave up and decided to settle for a blue collar job thar had decent pay. Even though it was his idea, she had to push him to take the job.

- Got expelled from college, half way through he got really depressed and burnt out and kept on skipping classes and not putting any effort in. He also got fired from hos part time job and was forced to move back in with his parents.

- He's an only child and his parents absolutely love each other but there some strain and Daisuke can see it clearly, and it seriously depresses him but he tries to not let it get to his head.

- Pansexual, absolutely is trans in some way but he has a job so he dgaf rn.

- When he first arrived on the Tulpar, he noticed just how utterly depressing it was. So he decided to be the exact opposite of that, putting on a brave smile and attitude to ease himself into the crew. He gets along with Anya and Curly the most.

- Has two cats back at home. Pepper and Donatello, named after his favourite TMNT character.

- He's also a bit of a gym freak but he has no idea what he's doing, very new to real equipment found in gyms as he would always just use whatever was closest or available to him. Curly is teaching him proper techniques.

- Major insomniac but doesn't tell anybody this. Anya has to (metaphorically) choke it out of him so she can help, and he's been slowly adjusting to the medication.

- Has a bunch of really bad habits, drinking especially.

Post Crash Daisuke

- 29 Years old

- He's not allowed to leave the house anymore without running it by his mom. Ever since he returned from the Tulpar she's been dreading the worst happening again, keeps him on a really tight leash out of fear.

- Donatello passed away while he was in space, so in his grieving he got another cat and named it Biggie.

- His parents got divorced finally, the news of what happened had drove his father to the edge and it became too stressful. Daisuke doesn't resent him, and they keep in contact.

- Finally decided to let himself pursue art, Anya is his biggest supporter and she buys all of his paintings. He loves drawing animals the most, finds their complexities to be beautiful.

- let his haie grow out longer, often puts it in a ponytail now.

- He doesn't know what Swansea's sacrifice was, he only knows that somehow he ended up in the Cryopod and that his body was nowhere to be found. and nobody else knows what happened. He misses him a ton, so he paints swans alot. Sometimes Swansea's wife, Meredith, buys them, she comes around to talk to Daisuke and make sure he's doing well.

- He has a part time job now as a dog walker. He walks Swansea's dog almost every day now.

- Also a vegetarian, he's actually why Curly decided to become one. They still work out together but now its mostly him teaching Curly new things.

- Still really depressed and aimless, but he's been put on real medication to help him cope and he's doing much better.

Pre Crash Swansea

- 56 Years old, Born August 10th. Full name is Swansea Manning Heartford, Welsh.

- He actually doesn't like sweets all that much, but its much better than his other options. Coffee makes him sick as well, so sugar is his only vice.

- Has four kids, they're well into their adult years now. Swansea used to be able to call them when they were closer to earth, but that eventually stopped. He also has a brother, but they haven't talked in decades.

- A similar situation as Curly, Swansea got promoted to head engineer of the Tulpar because no one else would take it and he just so happened to be around. He was actually planning on retiring early.

- His wife used to always exclaim how jealous she was of him, to see the stars and everything beyond sounds like a dream. He didn't have the heart to tell her it sucks.

- Daisuke reminded him of not only his kids, but himself in a way. Back when he was younger and didn't have much of a care.

- Cannot punish his kids for the life of him, he's always been too soft and could never bring himself to actually be hard on them. He would get angry again them but then immediately do something to make it up to them because he felt guilty. He started to do this subconsciously with Daisuke and didn't notice until Curly pointed it out.

- Also a really big foodie, sort of cried a little with Curly when they were told about the strict food packet diet. Promises when this shipment is over he'll make the biggest gumbo ever and invite everyone around for it.

- Needs glasses but refuses to wear them.

- Gets along pretty well with Anya, they're not best friends but she's definitely more tolerable than Daisuke is. Neither of them talk that much so they both understand how good silence is, sometimes he'll let her complain and rant about absolutely nothing (Although it usually about Jimmy) because he understands how frustrating it can be. He doesn't provide her with anything or gives pep talks, he just lets her complain in circles.

- Girl dad, he has only daughters so to finally have a son in a way has been a new experience. He struggles to admit it but he is proud of Daisuke, he's just never been very open about his feelings or emotions, especially in his older age

- On the brink of a midlife crisis. Wanted to go mountain climbing.

- Probably gay, bisexual? he doesn't know. Doesn't care. College was weird.

- When it finally came down to it, Swansea was able to just barely convince Anya to go into the cryopods. After finding out what Jimmy had done he decided to put his foot down, his gut was telling him something bad was about to happen, and being able to barge the door to medical down his fears were proven. Right before she was about to OD, he convinced her to take Curly and Daisuke to utility and that it would all be taken care of.

- He was able to really hurt Jimmy, but unfortunately his old age and slight inebriation caught up and he failed to overpower him. Being shot in the eye and then the head, Jimmy thought he was dead. But after being rescued, Swansea's body was never found. Theres multiple theories by others of what happened, but nobody knows the truth.

#mouthwashing #mouthwashing jimmy #mouthwashing curly #mouthwashing anya #curly mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #mouthwashing daisuke #daisuke mouthwashing #mouthwashing swansea #swansea mouthwashing #headcanons #anon #hc

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redlenai · 3 days ago

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... Freakywashing AU where nothing bad happened. Anya used her knowledge in psychology and turned Curly and Jimmy into her loyal dogs, keeping them in a short leash and basically gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing through all that year in the Tulpar.

During Game Night, whenever Anya starts getting frustrated that Daisuke keeps on winning, Grant and Jim start focusing their game strategies to make him lose first

Swansea keeps his mouth shut, as he is aware his wife has him wrapped around her finger, tho, he knows there is definetly something wrong between those three.

Post returning to Earth

Anya, Grant and Jim don't "date", but they all live together for financial reasons, also its more convenient

Anya's "dogs" wear turtle necks to cover their collars / They have a more subtle necklace with their nameplates for when they go out or its summer

Anya considers Grant is a golden retriever while Jim is a doberman

Jim has a praise kink, Grant a degradation kink

They take turns bringing Anya to Med School and acting like bodyguards/private taxi drivers whenever she wants to go somewhere

People have asked her if she is dating either of them, she laughs it off but they eat every crumb of affection she gives them

They both love her, she doesn't... or maybe?

Jim's put on a muzzle most of the time (No real reason, Anya just thinks he looks cute like that)

Grant whines if she yanks his leash too hard

The irony is that Jim is a sweet and obedient lap dog, Grant is the perfect guardian dog who is quick to take action if needed

Anya dresses them fancy or literally whatever she feels like, her friends tell her she looks like a celebrity

You wish you were Jim & Grant

They are so loyal to her they would completely and utterly destroy their canon counterparts <3

They do have normal lives, go to the gym, have decent jobs tho they leave everything in a heartbeat if Anya tells them to do so.

Uncropped WIP version

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onceazzie · 2 months ago

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i've found hope in a heart attack

“Come on, Anya!” Daisuke laughs, already kicking off his shoes, tossing the bags of groceries to the side. In the moonlight he looks almost younger, Anya thinks. “Live a little!” She wants to protest. Anya has barely had time to live, let alone survive, let alone even think for so long— Curly is waiting for them, Swansea is waiting for them, for the groceries too— but the boy seems so…happy and carefree, that the argument dies in her throat. “Oh…alright. Just for a while, okay? And then we—” “—have to get back or else Swansea will grouch, yeah, yeah,” he smiles, holding his hand out. “Dance with me, Anya?” (3 times daisuke asks anya to dance with him.)

LINK TO THE FIC HERE!! chapter 1 under the cut :))

chap 1: beach

It feels almost like a long, never-ending dream.

Anya doesn’t really process any of it. It goes faster than time on the ship ever did, and every single day is a blur. For some of it, she wishes she had gone down with the ship.

“It’s normal,” Swansea says, somewhere in the meddle of her memory, “to feel a little sick, girlie— just hol’ on for a moment longer, yeah?” He had held her with one arm and Daisuke with the other, a hand on each head, his voice gruff from overuse. One of Daisuke’s hands was splayed against her back. The position was slightly uncomfortable, but even so, it was the best comfort she’d felt in years, and she wouldn’t let go for the world.

Both Daisuke and Swansea were elated to return home— to their families, even if the latter refused to show anything other more than a smile at the thought— but Anya? She had nobody to come home to. Hell, the ship was the only home she’d known for so long, and even then she never truly felt safe within its walls.

Neither did Curly. Curly, who Anya didn’t quite hate. Curly, who Anya almost loved. Curly, who was so close to death and yet she held, in a sick way, a resentment towards him— not a fear, she never truly feared him like she had Jimmy— almost like a grudge, or as close as one as she could get. It felt too cruel to call his state a retribution or even something as violent as revenge, it hurt her to see him like this, but it was…

…she wasn’t sure how to name it. But, Anya wasn’t expected to. Curly had been taken to a hospital. She had been taken to Swansea’s and told to rest.

It brought them around to where they were now. Daisuke and Swansea, still living with their families, helped move Anya and Curly— Anya from Swansea’s daughters’ room and Curly from the hospital— to a close by apartment. For safety, Swansea said, but Daisuke said it was because they would miss being with the two of them if they were too far away. The thought made her smile. The notion of being loved was simply so strange.

The apartment was about as good as good got. She had her own room (with a lock! Swansea had pulled her aside gently, a hand on her wrist, and made sure she knew), as did Curly, slowly recovering and regaining what little voice he had left. The speech tablet had been brought from the hospital and remained fixed to his wheelchair.

Daisuke brought a few old posters he had lying around, Swansea brought kitchenware, and before Anya knew it— it had become home. Home, a word so foreign before, familiar now. It was a beautiful thought.

Even Curly thought so. She spent her days at work—a new job as a nurse at a nearby hospital that saw nearly no patients, but it was enough to keep them going— and she spent her nights at home, with Curly, in the excruciating journey to give him back his autonomy. There was an irony to it, she thought— that the two of them had their own bodies taken from them, hers with the marks stretching across her stomach from one agonising night on the ship, and his with the skin and flesh that had been torn from him— but also a beauty, maybe. They would survive together.

“Ah, look how pretty it is!”

Anya, shaken from her thoughts, glances up to where Daisuke is pointing. Swapping the grocery bags she’s holding to her left side, she rolls her right shoulder to relieve its tension. Moonlight sparkles over the distant ocean, and the shore glows silver under the night. “Oh…it’s a beach.”

Daisuke, holding onto the second bag of groceries to fill Anya and Curly’s fridge, grins and pulls her with his opposite hand, tugging her towards it. “It’s so pretty! I’ve never seen it at night.”

It was quite pretty, she had to admit, as the hard cement beneath her feet slowly turned to sand. Anya had never actually been on a beach before in her life. It was considered a luxury when she was young, and remains as faraway and unfamiliar now as it had then.

“Come on, Anya!” Daisuke laughs, already kicking off his shoes, tossing the bags of groceries to the side. In the moonlight he looks almost younger, Anya thinks. “Live a little!”

She wants to protest. Anya has barely had time to live, let alone survive, let alone even think for so long— Curly is waiting for them, Swansea is waiting for them, for the groceries too— but the boy seems so…happy and carefree, that the argument dies in her throat. “Oh…alright. Just for a while, okay? And then we—”

“—have to get back or else Swansea will grouch, yeah, yeah,” he smiles, holding his hand out. “Dance with me, Anya?”

Anya always believed that a person’s worst moments didn’t define them as a person. A monster didn’t do one bad thing that branded then as such. That then leads her to the conclusion that a good moment in someone’s life didn’t mark them as a good person, either— that this moment here, the wind in her hair, the scent of salt drifting from the ocean, Daisuke’s laughter ringing out for miles, wouldn’t define her, as beautiful as it was. A

s much as she wanted to think of herself as good, it was difficult. One good moment wouldn’t define her. A thousand bad ones would.

But…it was about time that Anya learned to live.

“I don’t know how to dance,” she says meekly, pulling off her shoes and placing them next to Daisuke’s. It was true. She was anything but a dancer, but it didn’t seem to deter Daisuke, who still incessantly tugs at her hand.

“It’s fine! You don’t need to know— just follow how I do it!” He makes it sound so easy. He makes so much sound so easy, this young boy, this young man. This kid who had barely seen the beginning of his life. Daisuke beamed with the age of the sun and the joy of the sky, barely a scar— physical or mental— from their time on the Tulpar. Anya bore the marks of something that haunted her across her stomach, eyebags from countless sleepless nights, and he bore nothing but a bright smile.

Anya tries. She tries to follow his movements, follow the beat— he hums and sings a song unfamiliar to her, grinning and laughing between the words— and he takes her hands and guides her along. “How do you do this?” She says breathlessly as he spins her around.

She could be talking about anything— about grief, about tragedy, about living and laughing and breathing, or about dancing on a beach— but all he does is grin and finally finishes his dance with a dramatic flourish.

“Well, that’s the thing, Anya,” Daisuke brings her in for a tight hug. Months after everything, she’s finally comfortable with being held, and Anya sinks into the embrace. “We just keep going.”

“Took you young’uns long enough,” Swansea huffs, when the two of them make it back to the apartment. There’s sand uncomfortably wedged in her socks, but a smile on her face, one that Curly seems to notice as his face stretches and he smiles back at her. “What kept ya?”

Daisuke grins and takes Anya’s grocery bag from her, piling them both on the counter, much to Swansea’s chagrin, who starts picking up the groceries and putting them away. “We stopped at the beach! Anya’s never been, did you know? It’s so pretty at this time of night!”

Anya nods, before moving to Curly’s chair. Coming out of recovery, he is no longer as restricted in voice and movement as he had before. She’s glad— he had always loved expressing himself.

“We should all go together one day!” Daisuke laughs, tossing the milk carton in the air and catching it again. “Maybe if we renovate Curly’s wheels, so he can come too. Real big ones for the sand. What do you think, Captain?”

Curly wheezes out a laugh and gently wheels himself towards the kitchen. His voice is hoarse, but it becomes stronger by the day. “Sure, Daisuke, if…you stop calling me captain. Do…you need help at all, Swansea?”

“Wheel your ass back over there,” Swansea scolds him. “You’re on bed rest. I s’pose we could pay the beach a visit one of these days…if Miss Anya’s up for it.”

Daisuke tilts his head, smiling. “You in, Anya?”

“Yeah,” Anya smiles, thinking of moonlit waves and silver sand. “That…sounds like fun.”

chap 1 (here) | chap 2 (coming soon)

#mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #mouthwashing fic #mouthwashing fanfic

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sschizoid · 1 hour ago

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Tulpar crew babysitting…

ive got you pookie ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭‎°｡⋆♡‧₊˚

curly

is so honored that he was chosen to be entrusted with the care of something as delicate as a baby. always wanted to be a dad, but never quite found the right person to settle down with. but doing this is kind of reigniting that old baby fever he thought he'd forgotten about all those years ago. maybe someday

loves to play, especially with his hands. peek-a-boo, patty-cake, and finger puppets are his go-tos, as he thinks teaching creativity and engaging the imagination through just means of your person can make for a healthy mind

singing is also something he loves to utilize, but he doesn't go for the predictable options like your ABCs or wheels on the bus. no, right now, he's got himself an audience, one that can't tell him to keep it down or that his music taste sucks, and he's going to take advantage of that. he's singing the beach boys

jimmy

would ideally never be in this situation to begin with. cannot fathom why anyone would think to trust him of all people to care for a baby when he can hardly even care for himself

if he does somehow get swept into it, whether it be by the will of god or some other foreign wind of change, he will do the absolute bare minimum. throws the kid in a playpen with some toys and sits back while enjoying some television. probably puts on some trashy animated show that's definitely not made for infants, but all they care about is the moving pictures and fun colors, right? everything else is subjective

texts every 45 minutes asking for updates on when parent(s) will be home, because he kind of has somewhere he needs to be in an hour (lie). also he dug around in the fridge a bit and ate some leftovers but re-positioned the remaining amount in the tupperware in an attempt to make it look like he didn't. also, he's getting paid for this, right?

anya

she's never really interacted with kids before, let alone a baby. she's trying to find a polite way to decline, but takes too long in trying to come up with an excuse and eventually just agrees

read a whole bunch of parent blogs 20 minutes before coming over so she could know what to expect. the only information she retained was that babies like to be talked to. she's professional and talks to them like she would a coworker at the watercooler. baby seems into it, though?

feeling confident after making the baby laugh, but she doesn't want to risk losing the progress she's made by trying something wacky. baby likes talking— maybe likes books, too? she brought her homework just in case she wanted to do some studying, and decides to read the articles from her textbook aloud. it works like a charm, though the baby falls asleep soon after. maybe the subject matter was too boring?

swansea

hell. no. he spent over a decade of his life combined dealing with rugrats, what makes you think he'd want to go back to that? he did his time and then some, his sentence is served

the only circumstance where he'd agree to babysit is if it were to do his own kids a favor. they're around that age, getting their lives together and starting families, so he could swallow his pride every now and then and play the role of "grandpa," for a bit. even if the title seemed unearned

but being a grandfather kind of makes him reflect. makes him realize he probably wasn't there for his kids nearly as often as he should have been. he wasn't a good father to them, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he's thankful they made out alright in the end. he feels a pang in his heart when he looks into the face of the baby and realizes it has his nose

daisuke

OF COURSE he'll babysit, are you kidding? he's always wanted a little sibling to instill his personality and interests into, and this, while not the perfect opportunity, was probably the next best thing

brings over all of his favorite toys from when he was a kid. hot wheels, tech decks, legos, the works. tries to teach the baby how to do a kickflip with the tech deck, but they keep trying to eat it. that's cool too, he can maybe understand the appeal. it kind of looks like an eclair if you squint really, really hard and hold it really, really far away

babysitting is also the perfect excuse to watch cartoons without the fear of being judged by boring people, so he's got that shit running the whole time. nothing too babyish (he wants to enjoy himself too, after all), but still has loads of bright colors and the occasional catchy musical number that will most certainly follow him home that night

hope these are sufficient ! if anyone else has any requests; my asks are open !! ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊωˋ )ଓ⁾⁾

.......i'm admittedly a bit backed up at the moment but rest assured I'm POWERING THROUGH YEAAAHHHH 💪

#also i got the anya hc of her talking to babies from another hc post LMAO i thought it was sooo funny and i just agree wholeheartedly #mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #mouthwashing headcanons

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mouthwashingconfessionsblog · 24 days ago

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i really like swansea, i think he is very underrated, and boiled down to a "father figure" all the time,and he is interesting and tragic and i wanna know more about Him!!

Besides Swansea, i think i am really interested this evil boogeyman, like thing the cursed monsterous thing that spawned on the tulpar ship as a sinister deity, the reason for it's sole existance to bring utmost pain to other employees,

it has eerie kind of eyes that whom look at will be hypnotized, manipulated in 10 seconds!, because the thing is a mastermind a beyond genious in blinding people to control them, to point of insanity (i mean that's what the fandom say)

it has wicked will to violate, human physcial and emotinal boundry, to horribly abuse leeching away the color from honorable people, a twisted sense of enjoyment for hurt of human beings, seeing them as just tools to consume....it has no sense of good, and it should not be seen as good, it is just solely there to repensent the devil and badness in people idk...so the fandom treats it like a neferious monster as it is guess, but i find the thing very interesting, and it seems to have more depth idk

i think, some MW fan theories say that it might be a creation of pony express to keep the employees at line or something idk

Anyways Swansea is really beauitful and hope you have a good day

#live laugh love swansea #mouthwashingconfessionsblog #swansea mouthwashing #mouthwashing #anonymous confessions #anonymous #i love swansea #cuz i’m also an addiction #i relate to him

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hislopchino · 2 years ago

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HIGNFY's Guest Webterview: Ruth Jones

HIGNFY: This is your first time on HIGNFY. What's occurring?

Ruth Jones: What's occurring is a lot of nerves, because I'm completely out of my comfort zone. I've been up before to be on the panel and I've always avoided it. It's quite a scary thing, even people I've told I'm doing it have gone "oh my God!", so I'm really scared doing it. I might forget who the Prime Minister is... mind you, the Prime Minister might have changed by then. So yeah, I am quite scared, but kind of excited as well.

HIGNFY: If Paul and Ian were to write a sitcom together what would it be about?

Ruth Jones: I think Ian was born in Swansea so I was just thinking: Gavin and Stacey is this sweet love story between a girl from South Wales and a boy from the London area, so maybe they could do their take on a boy from South Wales and a girl from London.

Or it could be a boy and a boy maybe, a sweet story between those two friends. Or maybe it would be a love story. They say to write about what you know, so it would be nice to see a fictional Ian Hislop and a fictional Paul Merton living together. What do they talk about over their cocoa at night? The minutiae of their lives would be very interesting.

HIGNFY: Tell us about the G20 Ladies Dinner Night - what was your highlight?

Ruth Jones: I think probably the Bakewell tart that Jamie Oliver cooked - it was really fabulous. I did have a fantastic night, I must say, meeting people like JK Rowling. Sarah Brown and Maggie Darling were so lovely - they just seemed like they'd be a really good laugh.

It was just a lovely warm evening, and when Michelle Obama came in it was like a new popular girl at school and everybody was trying to be her friend. It was quite funny watching everybody sidling up to her and just introducing themselves.

And what was nice is that everybody was quite nervous about the night. I thought everybody was going to be putting on this bravado but they were like "oh my God I'm in Downing Street".

The one time I was completely awestruck was meeting Barack Obama: I wasn't expecting to, and he was so massive, he's really tall and I just went really Welsh when I met him. I kind of ended up going, "Can I just say congratulations, it's really brilliant, well done" and gave him a thumbs up. He was so gracious and he bent down (he's so tall he has to bend down to you) and said: "I really will have to learn how to talk like that (said in mock Welsh accent) b-r-i-l-l-i-a-n-t". It was one of those once in a lifetime events.

HIGNFY: Can you give us any indication of what will happen in Series 3 of Gavin and Stacey?

Ruth Jones: Well, this series unlike the previous two is set in the summer, so that will bring a whole new take on Barry, and I think Barry is a beautiful place. See it in the sunshine, it's amazing. The new series will have a different feel to it. As was set up at the end of the Christmas special, Gavin has got his job in Barry so we are going to be spending a little bit more time there... but I'm not going to give you anything.

We wrote the last episode about six weeks ago now, and they filmed us reading through the last episode and I just said to James, "Mr Corden it's been a pleasure". We got emotional. James and I would love to write a film together but I don't think that will happen because we've got other commitments. It's probably good to have a little rest anyway. I think we've got a good relationship so we would love to write together again. I'd love to write a good romcom.

HIGNFY: You've had some great opportunities to dress up in Little Dorrit and Nighty Night. Tell us more.

Ruth Jones: It's interesting when people go, "I didn't know that was you". I love when that happens. I think it's great to work with the costume designer I work with, Claire Finlay, and it's such a creative thing when you're working out the look. Or if you're with a make-up artist and you're working out the look. Linda's look in Nighty Night was based on a girl in this printing shop in Cardiff who had the telephone/Princess Leia buns.

With the period costumes in Little Dorrit I had a corset made for me. A corset is custom-made and it's a real, absolute skill and a craft to make the thing. Of course everybody is different, but you just feel so fantastic in it. You stand differently, you feel very comfortable because they're made for you, and then you put the dresses on top of that and they're just fantastic. Tess wasn't glamorous but I love Hardy, and because we were filming in Thomas Hardy country I felt I was Joan D'Urberville. It's all about dressing up - you never grow up.

HIGNFY: Tom Jones: what was it like working with him and can he still charm the birds from the trees?

Ruth Jones: I didn't know what to expect. I thought he was going to be, well, he's a superstar isn't he so I thought he was going to have this kind of superstar attitude. He was so down to earth, really still a Ponty boy, but he's got this self-assurance which is so different from cockiness or arrogance. A self-assurance that was so attractive to anybody that was around him. He really did have a magnetic personality.

When he talks he talks with great gratitude for this gift that he has, he's grateful every day for that. There's such humility in that, it's very, very charming. You can see why women fall for him, he's got this little twinkle in the eye, you know, and I think it's a great move that he's gone grey. Grey's the new black.

#HIGNFY #Text #Interview #Ruth Jones

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theplanetofthesnapes · 3 years ago

Text

Distractions

Summary: You’re alone in Grimmauld place with Lupin and he walks in on you upset about the war and attempts to comfort you.

Warnings: Themes of war and dark times, and hints that sexy times take place.

I was sitting in the kitchen of 13 Grimmald place thinking about the events that had recently taken place. Dumbledore killed by Snape, a man I thought me and the rest of the order could trust and now Harry, Ron and Hermione were off somewhere doing a secret mission for Dumbledore that none of the rest of us knew about. School was awful now that Snape was in charge and the Carrows were torturing everyone.

Up until Dumbledore’s death Professor Snape was my favourite teacher, although he seemed like a hard ass in class I could see through that facade and the chats we’d had while working for the order had been meaningful, he’d helped me through a lot. My parents had been labelled blood traitors by the recently taken over ministry and were making their lives hell and he’d helped me cope with that and now I’d found out he was working for the very people causing all the heartache in my family. It was all so confusing.

That all leads to today, it’s Christmas break at hogwarts and my parents thought it’d be best if I didn’t come home for the time being, they wouldn’t tell me why so I assume it’s something the ministry is enforcing and they don’t want to subject me to that. So I’m staying in Grimmauld Place with the Order for now and given the current circumstances it could be worse, only Lupin is in at the moment, everyone else is on various missions for the Order. It’s peaceful we don’t really talk much but it’s nice to have company.

I turn on the radio, listening to the rogue programme and listening to see if I recognised any of the names of the people who had sadly lost their life or been captured. One name stuck out to me “Lucas Everhart” a wizard that was missing, I racked my brain and realised why I knew it. He was my next door neighbour’s youngest son, half blood but his mother was a muggle born, he was only 5 years old. How sick must Voldemort be to be capturing innocent kids, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised given he tried to kill Harry when he was only a baby but I just don’t understand how someone could be so cruel, so heartless. I couldn’t help it then as the tears started falling down my cheeks. When would this end? When would people stop getting hurt because of one horrible wizard? When would I be able to see my family again?

Lupin walked into the kitchen then “I swear if that painting of Mrs Black doesn’t stop screaming at any slight noise I’m going to go mad” he said laughing. Then he turned to look at me and I quickly wiped my eyes but it was too late he’d already noticed. “What’s wrong love?” He said softly.

“Nothing really but just well everything, I don’t think I’ve really thought too much about what was happening before or been trying not too and I was listening to the radio and the kid that lives next door to me is missing, probably captured and I just can’t ignore everything anymore. When is it all going to end Remus? Harry, Ron and Hermione are probably out there risking their lives and I just don’t know how I can help. I just feel useless” I sniff.

He sits down next to me and uses his sleeve to wipe my tears away and pulls me into a hug. “You are helping, we wouldn’t have been able to find the goblins hidden in Scotland or the group of rogue vampires in Swansea and convince them to join our side if it wasn’t for your research. You are valuable to this, yes you’re not going there and risking your life but you’re helping a lot more being here and doing this for us than getting yourself killed” He says reassuringly. “Please don’t sell yourself short, you are playing your part which is more than can be said for a lot of people and you’re only 18”.

“I guess” I sighed not convinced but I didn’t want to let on. He’s doing his best to help and I don’t want him to think being here alone with me was a chore. Back when he was defence against the dark arts teacher at Hogwarts I had a huge crush on him and that attraction has not gone away over the last years despite finding out he was a werewolf and since being around him in Grimmald place, seeing who he really was out of the classroom I can’t help but think my attraction to him has grown exponentially.

“Here love” he says “this might help you feel better it usually fixes most things” he pulls out a bar of chocolate from his jacket pocket and hands it to me. I smile and take it, opening it and breaking off a couple of pieces handing one to him too.

“I just wish I had something to distract me from everything you know. Being here, I’m just in my head all the time and thinking about everything constantly and worrying” I say popping another square into my mouth. He looks at me not saying anything for a moment.

Then he moves closer and says “I have an idea” he takes a piece of my hair that has fallen into my face and pushes it behind my ear. He glances down at my lips for a second and leans in. Before his lips touch mine he whispers “Is this okay?”. I nod quickly in response not breathing and not trusting myself to speak. Then his lips were on mine and I’d forgotten everything, the war, that I was upset, hell I couldn’t even remember my own name. All I could think about was how right this feels.

His lips danced with mine he tasted like chocolate and hope and every good feeling you could ever imagine. I know the reality of waking up after this dream is going to so sad and bleak because I have to be dreaming, nothing could feel this perfect.

After what seemed like an eternity I broke the kiss to catch my breath “What are we doing? Why? I didn’t think you..” I was going to say didn’t think you thought of me like that but I didn’t want to shatter this moment completely. I didn’t want him to reject me and the walls to come crumbling down again.

“I need a distraction too” he said and he saw my face fall as I processed that. Oh that’s all I was to him, a distraction. He smiled and carried on “Ever since I saw you a few months ago here and have seen what a fiercely brave, beautiful and strong young woman you’ve grown into I haven’t been able to take my eyes of you. You show the true meaning of what it is to be a Gryffindor, despite all the hardships you and your family are being put through you’re still fighting and you keep everyone else’s spirits high while you’re doing it too. That’s the real reason I’m here, I don’t need to be, my house is a perfectly good base for the work I’m doing but I’ve been feeling down the last few weeks too and all I could think the whole time was just that being around you might make everything just that much more bearable. What I’m trying to say y/n is that I think I’m in love with you.”

I looked into his eyes for a moment, he meant it he really meant it. At that moment I pinched myself “Ow” I mutter.

He looked at me like I was crazy “what did you do that for?” he laughed.

“I had to check if I was dreaming because this is too good to be true. I love you too Remus” I said and I leaned into kiss him again, he kissed back but after a moment I pulled away and stood up. He looked up at me confused and I reached out offering my hand to him and gesturing him to take it and stand up with me. “So about that distraction you promised” he chuckled and let me lead him upstairs to my bedroom.

#harry potter #imagine #gryffindor #professor lupin #remus being remus #remus lupin #hogwarts #chocolate #war #lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus x chocolate #lord voldemort

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ladynightmare913 · 4 years ago

Text

Secrets of the Darkened Seas

Welcome to Chapter 4! I would like to say a special thank you to my best friend and co-author Olivia ( @asunshinepuff ) for inviting me to work on this story with her. As you may have notice, we have decided to change on how we release the chapters of our story. We will be alternating from my blog to @asunshinepuff‘s blog.

These chapters contain many original characters created by Olivia and myself. All credit for our creations goes to each other for our respective characters because we have both work so hard to bring these characters to live and I would never dare to take credit for any of Olivia’s characters.

Small warning, there is a funeral in this chapter. If you have any questions, feel free to send an ask!

As always there is mermaid lore hidden within the storyline. The included lore on different types of merfolk will be taken from the book “The Secret World of Mermaids” by Francine Rose. We are taking no credit for her work. The different types of mermaids will be explained later so don’t worry. We have also taken the liberty of creating some of our own original types of merfolk.

Now without further adieu!

Chapter 4: Honoring The Fallen

The voyage back to Swansea in West Wales was somber. The Captain hardly said anything more than a sentence. Remus would sit on a barrel next to the railing of the ship, watching the sea for hours. Quinn and Opal took over caring for the young Black Heir in the midst of taking over some of the Captain’s duties whilst Min-Jun was focused on preparations and work.

Newt and Tina took it upon themselves to care for the two mers, to try to calm them down. There was some progress, but the older mermaid refused to part with the younger mer child.

It took all of two days, the Dragon’s Pearl made port, and Min-Jun ordered the crew to finish the preparations before he left the ship in First Mate Scamander’s command. Normally the trip back home would bring Remus a strange sense of nostalgia, but now he felt only dread.

He watched Min-Jun, dressed in a white coat with black pants and boots, walk down the loading dock. A heavily pregnant woman wearing a brown dress with her hair tied into a bun walked towards him with a smile.

“I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes… ” Opal stood beside Remus. She was dressed in a royal blue button up shirt which was tucked into her black slacks and brown boots. In addition, she wore a moonstone pendant necklace and a wide sword with a blue sheath was at her side.

Remus said nothing as he watched. The woman’s face began to pale, her head began to shake, her hand covered the pained gasp that escaped her lips. Min-Jun stood perfectly still.

The woman began to sob hysterically, she began to fall from despair, Min-Jun gently caught her before she could read the ground. Min-Jun spoke to the weeping woman. Quinn joined Opal and Remus.

“She’s so young to be a widow…” Remus spoke softly.

“He died too young…” Was the only answer Quinn could give.

The Captain sat with the pregnant widow on the ground for a few more minutes before he spoke once more, the woman nodded her head in response. Slowly, Min-Jun lifted the woman to stand, gently taking her arm as he guided her aboard the ship. Opal stepped forward.

“We have a gown if you would like to change.” Opal took the hand Min-Jun held, giving a small smile. Opal walked in step with the young mother-to-be who only nodded her head as Opal led her to the cabins.

“Are the preparations complete?” The Captain asked his First Mate.

“Yes, we are weighing anchor now.” Quinn replied with a curt nod.

Min-Jun only nods his head in acknowledgement before he leaves to his chambers. Quinn exhales slowly, turning to carry on with the remaining tasks. Remus joined the rest of the crew in setting up the banquet.

The ship sailed out to sea, and just when the sun was beginning to set, they lowered the anchor, they stopped. Lanterns were lit all around the ship, gold and white streamers made of cloth hung on the masts and staircases. A life boat was placed at the center of the ship, Ethan’s body rested inside. He was cleaned, and dressed in simple white garments. He looked peaceful. Like he was only asleep.

Mirissa, Ethan’s widow, sat silently by her still husband’s side. Her hair had been let loose from her bun, flowing gently on the warm summer breeze. Her grey eyes staring lovingly at his face, her fingers gently brush against his cheek. She was dressed in a white gown that matched her husband’s. It was not a usual funeral, but she was thankful for different colors instead of the grim black.

Remus stood beside Opal on the left side with the crew, dressed in a black shirt, dark grey pants and dark brown boots. Replacing his treasured blue scarf around his waist was a white sash in honor of tradition. He couldn’t bring himself to look away from the peaceful face of his fallen friend.

Opal had changed, for she was now dressed in a simple black attire consisting of a long sleeved blouse, slacks and boots. Her light brown hair was tied up in a french braid, a white ribbon interlacing the folds. In addition, she wore a moonstone pendant necklace which brought the only contrast to her outfit.

Newt and Tina stood beside each other, close to Remus and Opal. Tina was dressed in a black blouse with a black long flared skirt and black flats, her black hair was pulled up into a high bun. Newt was dressed in a dark grey coat, with a black shirt and slacks with dark brown boots as he silently watched the crew gather to begin the funeral.

The First Mate was dressed in a dark blue coat with gold embellishments, a black shirt, slacks and boots as he stood beside the Captain. His sword was sheathed at his side as usual, the only hint of his signature red in sight.

The Captain stood beside Mirissa and Quinn, in a white coat with black pants and boots. A gold sash across his waist, his sword at his side. He only looked at Ethan's pale face. A pastor walks next to the lifeboat, opposite of where the three stood, and invites everyone to gather to the funeral. Min-Jun gently prodded the pregnant woman to stand, hold her steady as she rose to her feet.

No one really paid attention, at least Remus didn’t. He only listened when the pastor mentioned Ethan’s life. How he had been an orphan, and taken in by Min-Jun and Quinn. Raised on the Dragon’s Pearl, and helped save many people who were attacked by pirates. How Ethan was a vibrant and kind soul who died too soon. Leaving behind a wife and child he will never know. Remus silently cursed the Blacks.

After mass, the eulogy done by Captain Hua and First Mate Scamander, and a few stories shared by Quinn, Opal, and some of the crew. The funeral mass concluded to an end, yet the funeral was still not over. Without a command, four crewmen lifted the lifeboat with a pulley, ropes were tied to the hooks. Another crew member gently pushed the boat over the railing of the ship, the life boat slowly lowered to the water.

Captain Hua looks down to Mirissa, grabbing the bow offered to him by the pastor.

“It’s time.”

Mirissa nods her head, wiping the tears from her cheeks quickly. Min-Jun gently guides her to the side of the ship where the lifeboat began to float away. The captain doesn’t rush the young widow. No one dares. Everyone stays silent, swaying gently as the waves rocked the ship. For a moment, Mirissa’s posture changes, she takes the bow and sets her feet into position. She was ready now.

Quinn lights the tip of the arrow, igniting it aflame, then gives the arrow to Mirissa. She drew the arrow back, and in that moment, memories of Ethan flood her mind. His gentle words, his boisterous laugh, the way his hair could not stay neat. How his face broke into a smile when she told him she was with child. Her arms begin to waver as tears begin to fall. Her body trembles.

Min-Jun moves to stand behind her, gently steadying her aims. His presence calms her immensely. With a weak sob she looks back to the boat that was floating farther away. She wants to send him off with one of her brightest smiles. He loved her smile. As she pulls the string to her chest, Min-Jun helps steady her hands. She releases her breath. She releases.

The arrow flies gracefully across the sky. Landing on its mark. A few moments pass before the whole boat is lit aflame. Min-Jun takes the bow from her hands, stepping back to give her space. She continues to watch the boat burn. The crew lower their heads to their fallen brother.

Remus watches the bright flames from the boat that reflect on the surface of the dark sea. It was not fair.

“Remus.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Remus turned to look to the voice who called him. Newt stood beside him, watching the setting sun leave its final rays of sunlight before it sank into the horizon. He simply hands Remus a book.

Remus takes the book into his hands, his thumb gently brushing against the letters of Fantastic Nautical Creatures, by Newt Scamander.

“I want you to look after it.”

Remus’ head snapped up to meet the older Scamander’s gentle gaze. “What?”

Newt takes a deep breath, this wasn’t easy for him to do. “That book is my life’s work, and people won’t stop coming after it. It does not belong to people who wish to exploit the knowledge I collected over the years. And they found me, it’s no longer safe with me anymore.”

“I understand that. But why me? Why not with Quinn?” Remus frowns.

“Quinn is a target simply because he is my son. He knows some of the contents. But no one would know who you are, or that you have the book.” Newt smiled softly. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I know that you will do what's right to ensure that no one gets their hands on this book. Burn it if you must.”

“But- it’s your life’s work?! I can’t just burn it should the need call for it!”

“Yes you can. I have faith in you. Even if all that’s left is ash, all its content is in our minds. It will never truly be lost.” Newt turns his head to look at his wife. “You can update it, I’m sure there are many things I still haven’t learned.” He looks to Quinn. His eyes become filled with sorrow. “Tina and I are going into hiding. Quinn knows.”

Remus didn’t know what to say, he understood why they were going into hiding, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Newt Scamander had asked him to guard the book. How can someone be this trusting? He has hardly known him for long….

Wait. That sounded familiar. It was exactly what he had thought when Quinn offered him the chance to join The Dragon’s Pearl. So Quinn gets it from Newt. This was all so sudden and too much, how could he become the book’s guardian? Add his own updates? What had he done to gain the Scamander’s trust this easily?

“I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll do my best.” Remus gave the older Scamander a small smile.

The reception was full of merry music, there was nothing left of the banquet by the time dawn arrived. Some of the crew were passed out drunk, while others began to clean up the deck. Captain Hua had informed the crew that he would be accompanying Ethan’s wife back to the mainland, where she would return to live with her parents, and deliver the Scamanders to a temporary safe house, He would return in a few days. Quinn was left in command.

And so they waited by the mainland. Opal continued to care for the mers, Remus would join her whenever she would go to check on them. They learned that the older mermaid’s name was Brielle, after she had calmed down.

She was just barely beginning to trust them. The younger mer child was her brother, who Greyback mercilessly threatened to cut the child’s tail with his cutlass. The child was a boy, Tadase. And Remus could honestly say that being around the little mer child made the ache in his heart ease for a few hours at least.

Quinn looked after Regulus, the Black’s second heir. Remus also went to check on the young boy who was awfully skinny, and barely responsive.

“Why don’t we introduce Tadase to him?” Opal suggested. “He might perk up around someone close to his age.”

“Would Brielle let us is the real question. She barely trusts us.” Quinn responded with a shake of his head. And for good reason.

In the end, Brielle consented to allow her tiny brother to play with Regulus who was only a few years older than Tadase. Regulus was cautious, his soft black hair and storm grey eyes contrasted strongly from his pale skin. He would always search for traps in everything. Whether or not he could eat, sleep, or play without getting into trouble.

Remus’ heart ached for the small boy. Regulus was slow to accept Tadase’s easy friendship. Tadase was a soft spoken child, gentle with everything he did. It was adorable to watch Tadase shift uncomfortably in the clothes provided to him, and learning how to walk. Tadase would simply smile and try again.

Only on the third morning did the two boys become friends. Brielle was always watching them close by. Tadase had given Regulus his tears, blue pearls as a sign of friendship. Regulus only stared in amazement at the beautiful pearls. He wailed.

Tadase had been panicked at the sudden tears of the older boy, gently pulling him into an embrace. Remus wrote into Newt’s book about the blue pearls. He would ask about the color later.

The ship stayed motionless on the water as The Dragon’s Pearl waited for her captain’s return for three days. It was the fourth night now, since the funeral. Quinn stood in as Captain, sailing around the Bristol Channel.

Remus leaned on the railing as he stared at the docks on the mainland. He looked back to the deck to see the two boys sleeping on deck on top of a blanket. Regulus curled on his side while Tadase tucked to his side. Remus’ gaze softened at the sight of them. He looked back to the mainland.

The muffled sound of footsteps caught Remus’ attention. There was no one on deck besides a few of the crew who were eating silently, and the soft breaths of the sleeping children. Remus’ eyes narrowed. He turned around and nearly jumped back when a man landed on top of the very railing Remus had been leaning against, a rope in his hand, probably from his ship that Remus had failed to spot in the dark night.

A tall young man was dressed in a loose dark blue shirt, black trousers, and black boots. He would have thought him truly a handsome man, who had most likely left many women swooning for him. If he did not have that smirk upon his face that clearly meant trouble. Remus glared. The man had raven black hair that fell just on his neck, fair skin, and stormy blue eyes that twinkled in mirth as he smirked directly at Remus. Remus knew those eyes. He had seen them on Regulus.

“Sirius Black!”

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #quinn scamander #min-jun hua #opal teresi #newt scamander #tina goldstein #brielle #tadase #regulus black #asunshinepuff ocs #our ocs #cw funeral #pirate captian #pirate and mermaid au #ladynightmare ocs

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hs-devote · 4 years ago

Text

20. E N D G A M E

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows. Previous chapter;

"And it will be better for us, to help us to move on with each other's lives."

Move on with each other's lives.

Was that what she wanted?

20. ENDGAME

“How's him, Niall?”

“He's .. he's getting worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't even feel him anymore.” . . . .

It had been months since Y/N decided to take proper rest to help her syndrome. At the first few months, she was overwhelmed by her poor brain performance. She had almost burnt her kitchen because she forgot how to turn off the stove all of a sudden. One day, she even forgot where her apartment was after going out for grocery shopping. The poor woman was anxious, making her cry in the middle of the street. Luckily for her, her neighbour found her and drove her home.

Her parents were worried, of course. They both were agreed to Y/N to came back home in Swansea, for them were easier to look after her. After all, she had no one in London anymore.

During that time too, she underwent routine treatments to restore her condition. From drugs to a few therapies. To this day, her condition was better, although sometimes she still got light headaches.

If her health had improved, her heart wasn't completely healed.

No matter how hard she tried to forget her broken relationship, especially him, she couldn't. Harry was too beautiful to be forgotten. Despite what happened last time, she couldn't lie even if her tongue said another.

She remembered the last time, really last time, when she met him in his penthouse to pick up her things. Y/N indeed hadn't lived with Harry yet, but since she often stayed at his place, he suggested her to bring some her things to his penthouse.

He looked skinnier, and his face looked tired. From what she heard from Suzanne, Harry's loss of appetite made him lost weight. Plus, time-consuming work also made him forget to rest. Y/N had scolded at him for refusing to eat his lunch at that time, and made her had to force her ex-boyfriend to eat even a little.

But Harry was Harry.

He would eat if she also had lunch with him. She refused at first, yet because she felt bad with Suzanne who had made the food, then she finally agreed. On the other hand, she was a bit sad that their lunch at that time was so different. If usually they would have a conversation, for the first time, only the sound of plates and cutlery between them.

Harry.

She missed him very much.

The two of them no longer in touch after that. She still had his number, but did he?

She didn't know.

Nevertheless, he sent her a flower bouquet for her twenty-fourth birthday. She remembered very well what Harry wrote on the card. A simple birthday wishing. Yet, he didn't call her nor text her.

Well, what did she expect?

They broke up.

She was the one who broke their relationship first.

She was the one who told him to move on.

Why was she still yearning for him?

Because Y/N broke them when she was falling in love for the first time.

Did she regret it?

Y/N couldn't answer that. . . . .

Y/N just returned home after buying food for her fish. Yes, she had two goldfish to keep her company if she got bored. Her eyes caught an unfamiliar car parked in front of her house, a quite expensive car for the neighbourhood where she lived.

Shrugged it off, she ignored her thoughts and immediately went in. In the living room, she saw her brother was talking to a woman. Was this his girlfriend? But, he didn't say anything.

When she was about to say hello to them, her smile faded as she recognised the lady who had been sitting back facing her.

“Clementia?”

“Hi..” Clementia shyly waved her hand, smiling softly. Y/N averted her gaze to Connor, raising an eyebrow – asking for some explanation. How did he know Harry's sister?

“She comes looking for you,” he shrugged, “Well, I'll leave you two.” then leaving both the girls alone.

“How are you, Y/N?” Clementia asked her once she took a vacant seat available, “It's been too long.”

“I'm fine, Ce. You?”

“Good.”

She nodded, “What are you doing here?”

“Err..” Clementia bit her lip, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Looking confused to answer Y/N question.

“We need your help.”

Y/N arched an eyebrow, “What kind of help?”

Something must gone wrong. There was no way Clementia had come all the way here asking for something unimportant. She wouldn't ditch her school in Italy and come to Swansea for only meeting her and having a casual conversation. Or, maybe she was on her semester break?

“It's Harry.”

“Harry?”

“Yes,” Clementia sighed, “You're our only hope, Y/N. Just like Niall told me.”

What did Niall say to Clementia? What actually happened?

"I... I don't understand," Y/N laughed nervously, "We're not a relationship anymore if you don't know."

“I know. But– ”

“Harry's condition is worrying, Y/N.”

Her head snapped to the where the voice came. There, Niall was standing at her door, with his arrival that she didn't know. Since when he was there?

“I'm sorry I just come,” Niall spoke, “Traffic was quite shit today.”

While Clementia just rolled her eyes, Y/N stared at Niall anxiously. What did he mean by that? Did Harry have an accident?

“What do you mean, Niall?” she asked quietly.

“Harry.. has been so stressed lately. Making him lost control of his emotions. He seemed not to care about his life anymore, and that makes Marcel take the opportunity.”

Y/N's eyes widened the time Niall said Marcel. He was sitting next to Clementia, how could he slip like that?

“I already know Harry's condition and who is Marcel.” Clementia spoke to answer her thought.

“And your mother?”

"She knows too. That's why she didn't come here, have to set an eye to him." Clementia nodded, "It broke my heart that Harry has such a hard life. It's not his fault that he.. he grew another personality that eats him alive."

“What exactly happened to him?” Y/N questioned after a minuted passed in silence. Hearing Marcel's name, made her shudder a little. It had been so long since she had heard Marcel and Harry's name pronounced in one sentence.

Marcel.

How was he?

"Marcel is the one who lives in Harry's body as we speak now. Harry is getting weaker, and hasn't been able to come back with us for more than a month." Niall rubbed his face, "We're afraid that... Harry will gone.”

Her heart felt like being electrocuted when she heard that. Marcel took over Harry's body, and her ex-boyfriend had no strength to fight him. And it had been going for a month. A month.

A month, Harry never came back to his place.

And he didn't care anymore.

Why?

“No way,” she chuckled incredulously, “The last time I met him, he said that Marcel refused to show up.”

“It's because he took his time,” Niall answered, “He saved his energy and knocked Harry out when he was weak.”

“And why couldn't Harry fight him? Why didn't he care?” Y/N bombarded him questions, “Harry should be strong enough. He has no more burden because Erskine was back to normal.”

“It's you, Y/N.” Clementia squeaked.

Y/N pointed her finger dumbfounded to her chest, “Me?”

"My brother is very sad and depressed with your break up," Clementia murmured, "He thought too much of your separation to make him forget about his health, and he feels guilty for failing to protect you from the incident with your head."

It was because of her..

Y/N speechless.

She didn't think this would all be bad for his condition. She didn't know Harry would take it too seriously.

“Has Marcel done anything... bad?" she asked carefully. She wasn't sure if Clementia also knew what crimes Marcel had committed. Her feelings worsened when Niall looked confused to answer while Clementia just lowered her head and leaned back.

“He killed Dale.” . . . .

Returning to London was quite nice. For a long time she left this city, made her miss some places. Y/N would stay for two days in London, and since she was agreed to help the Styles family, she would try to talk to Harry, or Marcel.

She couldn't refuse their request, especially Anne also called her and begged her to meet her son – hoping that Harry would listen to him, even though he was deep in his subconscious.

One more fact she wanted to know, why Marcel killed Dale?

That disgusting human had already rotten in jail, why did he have to get his hands dirty – again?

Despite her worries, she was a bit happy to meet him despite this difficult situation.

Back to set foot on his building, pulling her to play back the memories of her and Harry. She remembered when they were pretty drunk, and luckily only his penthouse was on that floor, they were making out all the way to his home. Moaning out loud in the hallway, stumbling in the dim light as Harry tried to unlock his door. It was midnight, and there was only two of them there. And the rest, their scattered clothes on the floor being the silent witnesses.

Her cheeks became hot just to think about it.

Harry.. Oh, fuck..

She was startled when the door in front of her being opened, showing Anne who smiled kindly at her.

Since when had she gotten to Harry's floor and rang the bell?

Anne brought her body to her warm embrace, “Hi, darling. How are you?”

“I'm good, Anne.” Y/N smiled fondly.

“You must be tired of the long journey. Where's Niall? You should have come with him right?"

Niall?

“Yeah, yeah. I'm here.” An Irish voice came from behind her.

How could she forget that she came here with Niall?

Y/N laughed at her stupidity inwardly.

Harry's penthouse was quite quiet. She didn't see Suzanne, only Clementia who was busy on the stove. Anne kindly poured them a drink before sitting down with them. Her happy face now turned sadder than before.

"Thank you for coming, Y/N. It means a lot for us." Anne smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry if it bothers you. I don't know anyone else to ask for help."

"It's okay, Anne. I understand." Y/N gave her a small smile, "How's him?”

“He's still.. Marcel.” Anne carefully answered, “I don't see Harry in him. He isn't annoying as before, but it still different.”

“Has he done anything all this time?”

“Besides.. killed Dale?” Anne whispered, “Not really. He was just been awful, a bit rude, but he wasn't physically abusive.”

Anne knew Marcel killed Dale.. “But, still. We don't know next.” Niall murmured, “We have to be careful and not make him angry.”

“He wouldn't lay off his hand at a female." then, Y/N stared at Niall, "But, I agree with Niall."

Suddenly, they flinched when they heard a scattering loud from Harry's bedroom. When Y/N looked at Anne, the old lady just closed her eyes and rubbed her face while Niall swiftly getting up from the couch.

“I'll prepare his medicine, and shot– just in case.”

“Can I see him, Anne?" she spoke quietly. Anne just nodded and warned her to be careful. Giving Harry's mother reassuring smile, she brought her leg to his bedroom.

She wasn't too surprised to find broken glass scattered near the door. She entered slowly and found Marcel staring at his laptop screen. The man didn't seem to have noticed her presence yet. After gathering courage, Y/N stepped closer to him.

“Marcel.”

Hearing her voice, Marcel averted his gaze towards her. His forehead creased in surprise, looking at the woman who hadn't he saw for months. He shrugged, shaking his head unbothered.

“What are you doing here?”

His voice was surprisingly calm. Yet, Y/N still had to be careful. He was Marcel after all, not her Harry.

“Didn't you miss me, huh?” she tested the water, she even didn't know if Marcel wanted her presence let alone miss her. She couldn't straight to the point asking why he threw Harry's favourite mug, why Harry didn't bother to back in his body, and why he killed Marcel.

“Wrong person, Y/N. Harry was the one who suffered because he missed you, a lot.” Marcel snickered, “Poor Harry was so fragile about love, pathetic.”

“Marcel, I didn't come here to fight with you.” Y/N sighed, “I just want to.. talk with you. Like a friend?”

Her last sentence was more a question to herself, because she wasn't even sure.. they were friends. She sighed heavily when Marcel still unbothered, and with careful steps, she walked closer to him.

“Why are you so selfish like this, Marcel? You took the opportunity when Harry was weak and control his body at will. You must remember, Harry is a part of you. You're nothing if it's not because of him."

“You know nothing, my darling.” Marcel shook his head, lifting his head up to stare at the girl who was looking at his dark irises. “When Harry had given up on his life, I couldn't let him leave it all. If Harry didn't want to stay and I didn't act fast, this body would be lifeless. He would be sleeping, so would I. And then, what?”

She didn't mishear that, did she? Why Harry gave up on his life? He still had so much more in his life, why did he think like that?

“Why?” she murmured, “What caused him to think that way?”

“You.”

Y/N widened her eyes, “Me?”

“Like what I just said. He was so desperate. He feels like everything is wasted if you're not with him anymore.” he rolled his eyes, “He was very hurt because he loves you very much.”

He was drowning on his own love..

"And you didn't try to persuade him?" she changed the topic. Y/N couldn't keep hearing Harry who was sounded unable to move on and be the most hurt. She was hurt too, but she realised the reality that had slapped her sweet dream.

“Believe me, Y/N. Despite I'm satisfied with this opportunity, I also miss my dark corner.” Marcel worked his jaw, “Being him is not easy.”

“Fine,” Y/N whispered, “Then, why did you kill Dale Jespersen?”

“One of the reasons he was tired of everything was also because I killed Dale," Marcel put the laptop away, going to the chair facing the window. His fingers rubbed his chin while staring at Y/N who was still standing next to the bed.

“Dale Jespersen appeared all of sudden and blocked Harry's car one night. Your ex-boyfriend just came back from the office and was so shocked. How could someone who was supposed to be in a prison roam freely at night? Long story short, that prick bribed the officers there to release him that night, only to meet Harry. And of course, for revenge."

Y/N shook her head in disbelief, “How could that be?”

“He said something offensive and... he was gone.” he gave her innocence look, “Don't think about how I got rid of him. Be glad Harry didn't end up in prison.”

“But your family know!” she cried, “How fucked up was that?”

“Yes, they do. But the world doesn't. Good thing Harry has money and connections so I can use that. After all, Dale was alone on his own self in this earth. Why was he still in this world."

“I can't.. with you, Marcel.” she pinched her forehead, “I just.. I just don't know the way you're thinking.”

“Then, why are you here?” he scoffed, “If you're trying to call him, good luck then. Because if you don't hurry, you'll lose him.”

Grunted irritably, Y/N got up from her spot and left Marcel who still seemed not care about her. However, she was sure Harry still could her and felt her presence despite he didn't want to reveal himself.

“I know you're there, H. Please come back. Don't be scared. I'm here, and we'll be alright.”

And that was all she said before leaving him alone. Letting the words crawling inside his mind and soul. . . . . Y/N had no luck talking to Marcel. Not her fault, but it looked like Harry indeed had given up. Yet, she was also wondering if he could feel her presence that day. Didn't he want to meet her?

She also stayed longer in London than she planned. Her parents didn't mind, but Connor was the one who scolded her on the phone. Her brother knew why she went to London, and he didn't like that. He didn't like the idea of her sister help the man who made her cry for days after their broke up despite he didn't know why exactly they broke up. He just knew that things couldn't work between them so she decided to back off. He didn't know which one was wrong. But, one thing he knew, he would do anything to protect Y/N, no matter what.

Anne insisted her to stay at Harry's penthouse at first, but she remembered the circumstance, so she understood when Y/N refused gently.

The girl stayed at a hotel that Anne booked for her for another week, and she was very grateful and making a mental note to pay Anne's kindness someday.

That night, Y/N was trying to find a new job because she thought her condition had improved. She was also thinking about trying to apply for a postgraduate scholarship if she couldn't find any job. There were several vacancies on the internet that made her interested.

It was one in the midnight and she had to get her things ready as she would get back to Swansea tomorrow. After closing her laptop, she quickly packed her things and got to bed early because her train would leave in the morning. But, when she was about to brush her teeth, her mobile phone rang a few times. She frowned when seeing Niall's name on the screen.

“Hello, Niall?” she said softly, her palm closed her yawning mouth. Her eyes, which were heavy with sleepiness, suddenly opened up widely after hearing Niall's panicked voice at the end of the call.

“You're joking, aren't you?” Y/N didn't know if she was screaming or not. It was clear that her tone was quite high and she realised that. Her hands suddenly sweating, making her almost drop her mobile phone.

The last thing she knew, she sprinted to grab her jacket and hurried out of her hotel room.

. . . . Here, everything was so quiet. Y/N heard almost nothing but the beeping machine. Her heavy eyes grew heavier because of the tears that flowed when Anne hugged her while sobbing violently earlier. She had never seen Anne so frail and sad before, and that made her heart ache even more.

Her sleepiness disappeared at the second Niall called her and giving her the news that sucked her life out.

Harry was involved in a car crash and in critical condition.

Niall didn't give the full chronology. As far as she knew from him, Harry drove off the track and his car was hit from behind before hitting the divider. Also, he was drunk while driving.

Now, the man was lying unconscious with wires connected between his body and the machine beside his bed. A few scratches on his face didn't make any better. The bandage wrapped around his head reminded her when she had the same one back then.

The doctor said, if Harry would get through his critical condition tonight, he would probably survive. If he wouldn't, Y/N couldn't imagine what would happen.

If Y/N now was sitting beside Harry's bed and watching every inch of this man in front of her. His family was outside giving her time to see her ex-boyfriend.

She slowly took Harry's free hand and hold it tight. Her wistful eyes stared straight at him who still sleeping soundlessly. Smiling sadly, she could still sense the confused and panicked feeling ran through her body when she was leaving her hotel room and rushed to meet Niall who was waiting for her in the lobby.

The poor man got a slap from her when she thought he was lying and joking around. But, when he said it with a serious face, almost screaming at her, Y/N knew Niall wasn't joking. She felt that was real when he grabbed her hand quickly and pushed her into his car. They didn't have much time. Niall was driving fast, with her still dumbfounded. She felt even more dumbfounded when she realised she just wore shorts and a baggy shirt. But her jacket was likely saved her from such an inappropriate clothing choice.

“You can do it, H.” whispered her, taking his hand to rub her cheek, “Get better, please.”

Y/N knew everyone wouldn't sleep tonight waiting for him to go through his critical moment. It was almost four in the morning, only a few hours until the doctor could say that he was successful and she couldn't wait for it.

“I feel bad that I'm the one who sitting here and not your mother. But, that's okay. Anne should take a rest, as well as your family." she hummed, her eyes constantly glancing at the machine displaying the rhythm of his heartbeat.

Normal..

“I haven't told you that I like the flowers. The one that you sent me on my birthday. They were beautiful, H.”

“I also sent you a sunglasses for your birthday. Did you like it? Because I heard no words from you.” she sighed, “I know it's not Gucci but I think it suits you.”

Y/N chuckled slightly, looking at his bare fingers. “They removed your rings? Or, you didn't wear any?

“Why were you driving drunkenly, H? You told me once that you avoid that it as much as possible." she frowned, "Was it Marcel? I–"

Weird.

She heard a strange sound.

Her eyes stared at Harry who was still unconscious. Then, who made that sound? It was just both of them there.

Suddenly, the colour on her face was drained out like she just realised something. No, she didn't want to say that. She didn't want to lift her head or averted her gaze. Her vision still fixated on Harry who looked so calm in his deep sleep.

No...

No way.

Y/N flicked her head to where the machine was, only finding that his heartbeat was flat line.

Flat.

No rising or falling charts.

Like before.

No.

“No!”

The chair she was sitting on, fell backwards when she stood up and immediately grabbed Harry's shoulders, shaking him as hard as possible.

“Harry? Harry! Harry, please!”

Her finger quickly pressed the emergency button and again tried to wake him who she knew was impossible. Her mind was chaotic, it felt like her brain was paralyzed to digest everything, her hands were shaking and sweaty and so cold. She hed never panicked and feared this much.

“Harry..”

Her voice was shaking, head began to feel dizzy. Her eyes began to blur because of the tears that were ready to flood, and repeatedly stared at the machine and Harry's face back and forth.

The line was still flat.

And Harry still had no movement.

She couldn't help it. Finally, she let the tears fell down her face. Sobbing violently, her inner goddess was cursing the doctor who hadn't come yet.

“Harry, please. Wake up! Don't do this!" she whispered, stroking his face which still felt warm under her fingertips.

Why were they taking so long!?

She choked in a sob, "Harry, please. Please. We're not doing this!"

“Don't die on me, please!" screamed her in agony. She couldn't bear the thought she lost him. She didn't want to lose him. Not now, not later, not ever.

“H,” she cried, holding Harry's head and stroking his hair softly. “No, please. Don't – don't.. leave me. I – I can't.. lose – lose you. Please.”

“I'm so – sorry that .. that I haven't – haven't said that. I forgive you, H.”

“I'm sorry – sorry for.. everything. You're – you're not... the only one was – was wrong." she cried harder, "I shouldn't – shouldn't … given up on you."

She shook her head, didn't want to accept the reality that had happened. Harry couldn't die. He wouldn't.

“Harry, please.” she once again shook his limp body. The sound of the machine that had been her nightmare now was filling her head, it got louder and louder and made her nauseous. They were still flat, and Y/N didn't know how long it had been.

“Don't leave me, Harry. Don't leave your mother, your sister. And everyone who loves you.” she stammered, eyes squeezed tightly.

With shaking shoulder, Y/N stroked his jaw and brought her mouth closer to his ear, "I love you, don't do this to me, please. We still have so much together. I love you, H.."

She flinched when the door opened suddenly and a nurse tugged her gently so the doctor could check on him. She couldn't hear what they were telling her. All she knew, the next second she got out from the room with tears flowing profusely and body shaking. From her blurry vision, she could see Clementia and Niall approaching her. She shook her head, was speechless and head was spinning and ears ringing badly. The last thing she felt, her body fell to the floor. . . . .

Two years later.

Y/N's tasks that day almost made her head explode, plus her co-worker being uncooperative doubled her irritation. She knew, working in an international financial institution had its perks. Her previous job was nothing compared to now. Not that she underestimated them all, yet this was the first time she felt her energy and mind really drained out. Moreover, she would likely to travel to Washington D.C to attend conferences, a lot.

“Yes, yes. Send them all to me by tomorrow afternoon. Thanks, Bobby!” Y/N gave her co-worker thumb out before waltzed out from the meeting room, heading to her office.

“Tough day, Y/N?” Sienna wiggled her eyes, teasing Y/N who just entered the break room to grab a drink first. Y/N just nodded, filling up her tumbler with mineral water.

“Everyone almost gets my nerves today," she murmured, "Plus, I just landed from New York last night and the jetlag was a nightmare. I couldn't sleep during the flight and my eyes wouldn't let me rest."

“Lucky for you, it's Friday! And, I think your fiance won't mind to help you to get relax for the rest of weekend." Sienna winked her eyes, "Don't be so tense, Y/N!" and leaving Y/N alone with a bursting laugh.

Y/N shook her head, leaving the break room unoccupied since she had a lot to do and must be finished today. When she got her office, she found a bouquet of her favourite flowers with her favourite chocolate bar. Chuckled giddily, she closed the door behind her and walked closer to her desk. Her manicured fingers picked up the card laid on top his desk, her eyes immediately recognised the familiar handwriting.

Hard day? I hope you love the flowers and enjoy the chocolate bar. I know you're on a dairy diet but nothing is better than seeing you happy.

Ps: I made a reservation at the Royal Lancaster tonight, 8 p.m sharp. Your darling fiance

Fiance.

He always knew how to made her smile even at any time. Smiling softly, Y/N grabbed the flowers and smelt them before putting at the vase. Her hand then took the chocolate while turning on her computer, but when she saw the ring on her fourth finger on her left hand, her memory pulled her back when he popped the question.

They were in Switzerland for Christmas holiday. It was when the Christmas morning, and was snowing heavily. She had just made them hot chocolate since they stayed at the Bernese Alps and the cold was crazy, and he told her it was the time to open their presents. At that time, she didn't have the clue if the proposal being her present.

When he pulled the red box out and slid it open, her eyes fixated to the ring sat on the cushion. It was the Cartier platinum ring paved with diamonds cut. That shiny and beautiful thing caught her attention, ignored him who knelt in front of her. When Y/N just realised it, she quickly jolted and gasped – closing her gaping mouth. Even though he proposed her with simple words, she knew that her man was nervous as hell because his hands were shaking while holding the ring.

With an ugly sob, Y/N nodded meekly and said yes to his proposal.

What a beautiful moment.

She chuckled lightly and then returning to her work, excited to get them done as she couldn't wait to meet him. Five days in New York made her missed her fiance so much.

Later that evening, Y/N succeed to have her task done by 6. She hurriedly shut down her computer and took her things to immediately meet her fiance who was waiting in the parking lot, even made Sienna teased her in such a haste. Her smile grew bigger after spotting a silver Porsche in the VIP section. Wasting no time, she jogged to the car and opened the door.

“Hello, there.”

“Hi,” she waved at him and get in, “I'm sorry for taking to long.”

“Looks like you did have a hard day."

Y/N hummed, closing the door and putting the safety belt. Then, she turned her head to him and grabbed his neck to land a kiss on his plump lips. The fiance himself happily savouring her lips like it was the only antidote in the universe. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds before she pulled back, grinning at him. "Thank you for the flowers and chocolate. I love it."

He chuckled, wiping her wet lips affectionately, “Glad to hear that. Shall we go now?”

“Sure.”

She leaned back to the seat as the car moving down to the street, sighed happily because she finally could relax after a full day of stress plus the lacking of sleep.

“Is there anything special that you take me out for fancy dinner tonight?” asked her while looking at her fiance. A little smile formed on her lips while caught her fiance was so focused behind the steering wheel.

“Eh, no. Why?” he asked back, throwing her a quick glance.

She shrugged, “I'm wondering. I mean.. it's not saturday night.”

He chuckled, “Is it a crime that I take my fiancee to have a dinner not on saturday night?”

“Heyy..”

“Little birdie told me that you pissed all day long. So, I think a nice dinner will cheer you up.”

“How thoughtful of you.” she grinned, “Thank you, though.”

“I'm doing my best.”

If her fiance hadn't realised yet, Y/N kept her eyes on him all the journey. She found that the way he drove was so endearing. Especially when he was biting his lips or licked them while waiting for the red light. While his right hand remained on the wheel, his left hand never left her grasp unless he had to shift the gear.

“Why did you keep staring at me?” he questioned, even though they had been together for a long time, but such a small gesture still made him nervous.

“Why do I find a man is so attractive when he's driving,” she whispered, “Especially you.”

“Don't start, darling. We're in the middle of street right now.”

“I'm not.” she widened her eyes, “Do you think I was.. teasing you?”

“Obviously,” he snickered, “If not, you wouldn't squeeze your thighs together, darling.”

How obvious he did know that?

“We don't want to be late because I fucked you at the gas station over there, do we?” he smirked, “We just have forty-five minutes to get there.”

“Challenge accepted. We both know you can finish me in twenty minutes anyway, H.” . . . .

Harry felt numb.

The second he opened his eyes, the lights blinded his eyes and made him wonder if he was in heaven. Yet, he breathed in relieved when his gaze sharpened and he heard the beeping machine beside him. His suspicion strengthened when he lifted his hand and finding an IV stuck in his hand.

He was in a hospital.

And he was survived.

Then, the door bursting open quietly made him turned his head, looking at Anne who just entered with a shocked face. A relief radiated from the eyes of the woman who gave birth to him.

“Mum?”

His throat was sore along with hoarse voice, but he made it clear that he was fine by flashing his mother a small smile.

“Oh, Harry.” Anne mewled, stepping closer to her son, “You're awake.” and peppering kiss on his cheek.

“I am.”

“How do you feel? You're pretty banged up.” Anne stroked his unruly hair while sitting on the chair beside his bed.

“My body hurts, but it's okay. I'm fine.”

Anne gave him apologetically smile, “Okay, then. I'll call the doctors so they can check your condition.”

Harry was checked up not long after that. The doctor said he had improved and could go home within a week. He was being told that he was lucky because the car crash was quite fatal yet he had no serious injuries, jut a few stitches on the temples. But, he was quite surprised when Anne said that he had lost his heartbeat for a while.

He didn't know how long he had been asleep. The last time he was awake when Clementia was out for lunch and left him alone in the room. He loved to sleep, but he hated the pain hammering his head when he just woke up.

“Fuck.” he mumbled while touching his bandaged head.

“Is it hurt? Do I need to call the doctor?”

He never snapped his head that fast, was surprised to hear the voice he missed so much. He felt he was hallucinating when he saw Y/N looking at him worriedly.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, Harry.” she said timidly, “How are you feeling?”

“Hi.”

Harry didn't know how to feel. He was happy, but on the other hand, he also confused. During Y/N talked to him, he couldn't focus. Not only his head still feel dizzy, he felt like he was high on drugs. Everything felt like floating.

“I'm sorry it took me almost lost you to realise how wrong I was.” Y/N fumbled her fingers, “I'm too late to say I've forgiven you.”

“It's okay, Y/N. I understand.” Harry exhaled, “It's not your fault alone.”

“Why were you driving drunk?” seeing the hesitant on his eyes, Y/N felt bad and changed the topic, “It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I just.. worried.”

“Marcel was drunk, and took the opportunity to have one night stand with a striptease dancer there. I couldn't let it happen. So, I tried to take over and quickly left." he sighed, "Even it was him who was drunk, I would also get drunk when I got over the body."

“And why would you choose to take over?”

“Because I don't want to disappoint you, Y/N.” he admitted while looking through at her eyes, “I knew if.. if that happened, you would hate me even more.”

“Harry.." Y/N whispered, "If.. if that really happened, it wasn't your fault. It was Marcel. Even though you and him are one, you both are still different and I have to understand that. Not all his fault should I blame on you. If I can understand you, I should be able to understand him too."

“It's impossible, Y/N. No one would accept a disorder like me.”

“You're not a disorder, Harry. You're just different and special... "

“... If I can love you, I have to love him too.”

It caught him off guard.

Did he hear correctly?

He didn't mishear, did he?

Y/N smiled softly seeing Harry who looked dumbfounded, staring at her like she just grew an antler. Then, she grabbed his free hand and rubbed his knuckle, "I'm sorry for the long waiting. I'm sorry it took me almost losing you to realise that I love you."

“When did you first know?” his voice was barely audible, he couldn't believe his voice to speak. It was more like his soul spoke for him.

“I always knew.”

Harry laughed, and laughed. Until a single tear rolled down his lids. He was never this happy, he could never be this relieved. His love wasn't unrequited. He loved her, and she loved him.

His free hand brought her face closer to him, landing a short kiss on his love lips. She grinned widely and kissed him back.

“I love you," he spoke quietly and rubbing their nose together, "Very much."

“I love you, too much.” and she kissed his jaw.

“Harry?" she pulled back, "Why did you give up? Why didn't you care about your life at that time? Your family was worried sick.”

Harry's shoulder slumped back, “I was.. I was so depressed because.. I thought you didn't want me around anymore. I felt helpless, I thought my life has no meaning anymore. That's why I don't want to face the truth.”

“And thinking it was the best if Marcel was present?” she shook her head, “You have more right to this life, H.”

“Honestly, I wanted to wait. I didn't care if the wait would cost a million years. But, the wait was worth it because I'm in love.”

Y/N never saw this vulnerable side on him, and it was surprised her. She never thought someone like him, was so fragile yet tough at the same time. She smiled at him while rubbing his cheek.

“How's Marcel?" asked her carefully. She was quite curious about Marcel because he was the master of Harry's body lately. What did he feel, for now?

“I don't know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't feel his presence anymore. He's not weakened, though.”

“He's just.. not there?”

“He's gone.”

. . THE END What did you think?

#harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #harry styles angst #romance #angst

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years ago

Text

the last house at the end of the street {Daniel Webber}

A/N: 2871 words. This is for @rogerandhishair and also batnon, both of whom I love, but especially Gabs for helping me along the way and inspiring me, and yelling about Daniel a lot. Was this meant to be cabin!Daniel? Yes. But it’s lakehouse!daniel now! So part of my family is originally from Wangi Wangi, and I used to go there a lot when I was a kid, esp. around Christmas/Summer time. It’s a very chill, picturesque place. God I hope this is coherent to anyone who’s not Australian. Feedback would be great!! Fluffy As Hell and AGGRESSIVELY Australian.

“This is where horror movies happen.” You tell Daniel, the two of you stopped for lunch at a spot you’re told is only a five minute walk from the property he’d bought once he’d had the means. It’s in a place called Wangi Wangi, which you’d never heard of before, but you’d been assured that you’d love it, and, alright, looking over the sparkling water of the Lake, seeing the little boats bobbing their way across the water, the smell of the gentle breeze as it whistles softly past the native trees, you’re actually rather charmed by it. But you still can’t help yourself. “Seriously, this is where Crocodile Dundee himself crawls out of the lake to kill his helpless victims, which probably includes us.”

“Crocodile Dundee isn’t a horror movie,” Daniel tells you flatly, his lips quirked in the barest smirk, and your expression turns to a frown as you consider it. “You’re thinking of Friday the Thirteenth.”

“No, I’m thinking of... - Wolf Creek!” It’s like a eureka moment, your eyes lighting up, and oh, somehow it’s just so endearing, the light of the sun glinting off the water to highlight your smile. “I’m thinking of Wolf Creek,” you tell him with a self-satisfied conviction, going on to half-jokingly explain that ‘wolf is going to crawl out of the creek and kill us, just like in the movie’. You’re fully aware that that’s not what Wolf Creek is about, but it doesn’t really matter, because it makes Daniel laugh.

The property is the last house on the street, a dark gravel driveway leading to a spacious garage next to a handsome, red brick home. The windows are large, filling the rooms with air and light, looking out over the Lake, a view you know you could really get used to.

It’s empty, bare walls and plush, clean carpets, linoleum you’d replace with actual tiles when you get a chance. He’d always said he wanted a house by the lake, always told you how much he’d adored coming out here as a kid, and now, seeing him lean against the balcony out the back, smiling like everything was right in the world at this very moment, you can’t blame him. Wrapped your arms around him, you press a kiss to his back, between his shoulder blades, before perching your chin on his shoulder.

It’s so serene.

It’s going to end up as a holiday home, but you’re both between projects, so you’ve got the time to fix it up, to make it perfect. But for now, tonight, the first time you’ll ever sleep in this quiet little dream you’ve picked out for yourselves, you sleep on a blow-up mattress in the main bedroom, talking and laughing and dreaming up schematics in the Summer air. The window is open, and if you’re quiet, you can hear the lake lapping at the shore.

Tomorrow, you can start the process of making it perfect, but for tonight, it sort of feels like it already is.

It’s not easy work, it’s the tail-end of Summer, though February is still painful at the best of times. You’re covered in grime and grout and paint, and retiling a bathroom and a kitchen is far more involved than you’d realised. Painting room after room hurts your back, and you know that when you’re done, you still have to do the skirting boards, and replace the counter tops and furnish the whole house. You’ve got the basics, a refrigerator, and wifi, and deck chairs, though they’re uncomfortable metal fold out ones, but you get through the day, jamming out to Spotify playlists that keep your spirit up.

Naps become common, as does having at least three water bottles in the fridge at all times. Each. You’re sweaty more than you’re not, but it’s worth it, it has to be.

One particularly hot afternoon, Daniel wraps his arms around you where you’re reaching into the fridge for some cold water, and you squawk at it. You’d just been taking a break from painting the main bedroom, giving yourself a rest before powering through to the marginally-cooler night.

“I’m so gross right now,” you protest, feeling every point where your shirt is sticking to you, but he doesn’t release you from his loose grip.

“So am I,” he laughs, pressing his face to your back, wiping his grubby forehead on your back, covered in sweat and grim from where he’d been replacing the wood of the back porch. You wriggle, yelping at that, though you don’t protest, and when you shut the fridge, you turn to him with two bottles in hand. He takes the one you offer, finally letting you go, grinning from ear to ear.

“You wanna head down to the lake for a swim?” He offers, and it’s almost four in the afternoon, still feeling hotter than hell, and the lake sounds so enticing right now.

“Absolutely.”

Daniel always seems to know when your mood is dipping, he takes the paintbrush or tool that you’re working with, and you want to protest, because you’ve still got some of the wall to do but -

“Tomorrow, there’s always tomorrow.” He’ll assure, and something about the way he says it eases the tense set of your shoulders. Tired and covered in paint, he’ll grab a drink for the both of you, so cold it feels like a godsend, and you’ll walk down to the shore. There’s a little, stone pier that’s a ten minute walk from your house, with other people’s overturned canoes resting in the grass nearby, and something about the sight is so full of implicit trust. You sit, side by side, on the pier, feet in the water, watching boats cross the skyline. Some days it’s clear enough that you can see Swansea on the other side.

The stress washes away with the water, leaning against Daniel, your head on his shoulder.

“I was thinking of getting, like, a dinghy or something,” he muses one evening, sunset having painted the sky lilac. You yawn, having spent the day finishing off painting the skirting boards; it meant you’d officially finished painting the house, and all that was left to do was replace the linoleum countertops in the kitchen. It had thoroughly sapped the energy from you. “Maybe not a dinghy, maybe something bigger; we could go out on the lake and swim, maybe fish, just have a time of it.” He sounded tired too, and he takes a swig of his beer before resting his head against yours. The moment hangs in the air, warm and gentle like the last rays of sunshine, and you tuck your arm into his, basking in it.

You’re rather wrapped up in refurbishing the home for the stretch of time that you spend there, you’d missed Christmas and Australia Day, and before you know it, the house is done. It smells like fresh paint and plastic from your new furniture and appliances, and you find yourself burning candles everywhere to make it smell like home.

You get used to the comforting sound of the lake, the rustle of the wind through the trees, and it becomes routine to walk through the park that borders the left of your house, going out to the picnic spot where you’d stopped that first day, overlooking the whole town and it’s surrounds. Daniel takes comfort here like you’ve never really seen him before. Seemingly stress free, he finds himself enjoying afternoons exploring the Conservation Park nearby; sometimes you join him, sometimes you take a nap, and wake up when the sun’s setting, the air’s cooling, and you find yourself with a blanket over you, and a little bunch of wild flowers on the coffee table. Daniel, you can hear, is cooking dinner in the next room, listening to music and humming along. Something about it makes your heart melt, just a little.

It seems like it’s all too soon before you’re both off again, to work on new projects, the real world calling you back, but at least now you know you’ve got this refuge when you need it.

The year drags on, and for all it’s filled with fun and achievements, you find yourself longing to go back to the little lake house.

You return just after New Year’s. It’s the middle of Summer, and this time you buy a barbecue for the back yard, and a tent, because you’ve got a beautiful park right next door, it would be a shame to under utilize it. You get to know your neighbors, the people around the street, and it’s surprising how friendly they are. You suppose you do live at the end of the road, no-one further down apart from the animals in the park, and the vacationing families in the holiday homes a few kilometers away.

Johnno, who lives four doors down, baulks when you call him Johnothan, and in the same breath invites you and Daniel to his Australia Day get-together that’s happening next week. You tentatively accept, but he seems to sense your hesitation.

“Listen, it’s just a little thing, get all the neighbors round and have a splash in the pool, get the barbie runnin’ and listen to Triple-J’s Hottest 100,” he pauses, shrugging, not even giving you time to process everything he’s said, “I don’t really go in for all that patriotism stuff, but it’s a good excuse to get everyone together, you know?” Daniel accepts with a bright smile, and Johnno’s on his merry way.

“Please tell me you understood anything he said,” you half laughed, and Daniel grins, nodding, explaining that you’d essentially been invited to a very casual lunch.

Personally, you think having a pool while living so close to a lake seems like overkill, but you wouldn’t turn down a kind invite.

“I feel like I’ve seen your face before,” Johnno’s expression is thoughtful as you and Daniel hover by the barbecue, feeling a little out of place in the spacious backyard, surrounded by people and their families. There’s kids splashing about in the pool, older women sitting on the porch under an umbrella holding glasses of champagne, and men scattered about, talking to each other like old friends. Johnno, for his part, is diligently sweating away, cooking enough sausages to feed a small army, with plates piled high of more food to be added when there’s room. He’s not even wearing an apron, just a pair of board shorts, wielding a pair of tongs with one hand, a beer in the other.

Daniel laughs a little at that, the sound warm and good natured, and a woman comes out of the house holding a bowl of freshly tossed salad.

“Jen, babe, where have we seen him before, he’s got a face I recognise,” Johnno asks, and the woman, Jen, joins him after putting the salad on the fold out table that had been set-up beside the barbecue. She frowns for a little, but it’s not unkind, and Daniel beats them to it.

“I was on Home and Away a couple of years ago.”

And both their faces light up, talking over each other with their own realisations as they nod, agreeing that that’s where he’d seen them. It’s slow at first, once Jen leaves to head back inside, a few of the people who come out after her, carrying drinks of their own, or more food for the table, they give you and Daniel an appraising look. As time passes, it seems the news of a celebrity in their midst spreads to the rest of the gathered neighbors, though it just means that everyone’s more excited to talk to them, well Daniel, than they were before.

“He’s the cute one from Teenage Kicks,” a teenage girl whispers a little too loudly to her friend, maybe her sister, while they’re all lining up for food. Daniel tries to hide his smile and pretend like he didn’t hear them, stepping up, grabbing himself a paper plate, and collecting food.

“I feel like they’re too young to have seen that,” he mutters to you, though he’s grinning a little, and you can’t help your own smile at his amusement.

Soon enough, just like you’d watched earlier, the others start to talk to the two of you like you’re old friends, but Daniel never leaves your side. You’re a little bit surprised at how much you find you’re enjoying yourself. You and Daniel take up residence on a set of banana lounges beneath an umbrella. At one point, he goes to get the both of you new drinks, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before he goes, and you’re pretty sure you actually hear the two teenage girls give a dreamy sigh from where they’d been trying to inconspicuously watch the two of you. While you found it a little strange, they obviously meant no harm by it, and when you smiled at them, they both averted their gazes quickly, embarrassed at getting caught.

The whole day feels surreal, like a moment from someone else’s life, where the sky is always blue, and grilled pineapple is a delicacy, and it feels like a home away from home.

You don’t stay long; his shooting schedule for his next project has him in America in late February, and your own project is set to enter pre-production only a few weeks after; you’re sad to leave the haven of the lake house, but excited to say goodbye to the heat of the Australian Summer.

Every so often, you get invited to neighborhood events, usually by Johnno or Jen, though you’ve actually kept up communications with a few people from around the neighborhood, having enjoyed that Summer afternoon too much to let the people you’d met go completely.

You return sooner than anticipated, at the start of July, the two of you having a few weeks off and wanting to see what the property was like in the Winter, out of sheer curiosity.

It’s absolutely freezing. The wind cools as it crosses the lake, and chills you to the bone. It’s only made bearable when you and Daniel wrap yourselves in various duvets, curled up on the sofa you’d bought for the porch, drinking hot drinks and enjoying the view as much as you could. You think you prefer the view in the Summer, everything seems that little bit more gold around the edges, but here, now, he wraps his arm around you, lets you wrap yourself up against him.

“We should bring people out here,” he muses, breath warm against your cheek, a small comfort on this overcast evening, “like friends and stuff, ‘nd family. In Summer of course.”

“Spring,” you suggest, “before it gets too hot.” He nods, but doesn’t answer for the crack of thunder that rumbles ahead of you, and the two of head inside quickly before being pelted with rain. The rain itself sets the atmosphere nicely when you head back inside, curling up on the sofa, planning on who you could invite to your little lakeside paradise.

Bit by bit, as you collect memories in the house, you collect knicknacks, and then there’s photos on the wall, and props from projects on display, and you have friends and family around, you invite the neighbors for a barbecue of your own, and then there’s little scratches and knocks along the walls, and someone spilled something on the carpet that didn’t manage to come out entirely, but you find that you sort of love it. It feels lovely.

There’s a little yacht docked to the bigger pier that’s only about a twenty minute walk from your home, but it’s yours. The guest room is always neat when a friend comes to stay. In 2019, you politely decline the invite to ‘Johnno and Jen’s annual Australia Day Shindig’, you tell them you have family plans. In a sense, you’re not lying; you have the other three stars of The Dirt over for Australia Day, and they make themselves at home on your sofa, on your spare bed, on a blow-up mattress. There’s something freeing about the lake house, about being away from prying eyes, and while you watch the boys toss themselves into the water from the yacht, you feel contentment spreading from the warmth in your chest to the tips of your fingers.

You have your own little barbecue that evening, everyone still in board shorts, hair curling from the salt water and sitting around the back porch. Colson’s singing along to half of the Hottest 100 as it plays from your bluetooth speaker, and later, you’ll all watch the fireworks over the water. Daniel seems in his element, grinning from ear to ear as you’re all discussing your upcoming projects, how they’re all looking forward to the The Dirt premiere in only a few months. Iwan’s got a few television opportunities, Douglas is going to be doing some philanthropy, and Colson’s got his album coming out soon. Both you and Daniel have films going into production in the near future, and you can see him regarding his friends with a quiet pride.

This is what had been missing, you realise.

The house was finally perfect.

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