#live laugh love roth

[seqyv]

why are they all so stupid

T e a

Obligatory @univestigator tag

[emiscringe]

I’m in denial about him being safe and happy

[mo-aiki]

The Beautiful Maiden, Who Turned into a Swan - Prologue

Summary: You were a happy princess, living in a carefree life, with your best friend in the entire world, until one day, he turned you into a swan. M. Yandere Prince x F. Reader x M. Yandere Sorcerer.

Notes: inspired by obviously, Swan Lake. And also childhood favorites, The Swan Princess and Barbie of Swan Lake.

Warning: obsessive love, erratic behavior, stalking, mentions of violence, violent behavior, I don't condone it, I just write it.

You lived your best life.

As a princess of a small, rather unknown kingdom, you were your most happiest being surrounded by those you loved.

Your father was king, your mother, although dead, had high hopes for you. Your brother was young and cheeky. Everyone respected you, calling you kind.

You woke up everyday in your bedroom, getting ready, and enjoying your days in the royal greenhouse and garden, when one day, you met a boy, around your age. You were 12 at the time you met him. "Hello, my name is (y/n). What's yours?"

He didn't talk. He looked at you like you were going to harm him, and by his body language of him scooting away from you. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you."

You gently got him to stand up, while you dusted the dirt off of his hair and clothes. "I'm (y/n). What's your name?"

The young boy mumbled. "...Roth..."

"Roth?"

The boy nodded as you smiled. "Roth. Would you play with me?"

You felt all alone when it came to the topic of playing. All your close friends were servants, who got tired once you played too hard with them. But Roth was around your age, right? So of course he would play with you!

For 5 years, you 2 were inseparable. Roth became a prodigy of a sorcerer. He was very talented. He could make bubbles into flowers, turn a toad into a beautiful swan, and was perfect in his defensive and offensive magic. So much so that if you didn't have guards around, he would assign Roth to guard you.

You spent your days, laughing and playing around with Roth, until one day, he had gotten more quiet than usual.

"Roth."

"Hm?"

"Do you think I'm pretty to you?" A question you would obviously ask your best friend in the whole wide world to.

"No, you are ugly."

You laughed. "Stop playing around. Am I really pretty?"

Roth closed his book. "Why are you asking?"

You laid your back against the blanket as you stared up at the sky. "Because father told me I am to be wed in a couple of months. After I turn 18."

Roth was a bit quieter than usual, but you didn't mind his quiet nature. You knew he at least listened. "Father said that the prince of another kingdom said I looked pretty in the portraits they sent of me. Apparently, the kingdom is run by one of father's bestet of friends..."

Roth opened his book back up. "Well then, he must have bad taste because you are ugly..."

You pouted in his face. "Goodness, don't be mean. He does not have bad taste. In fact, he's very handsome, and obviously, good-looking people must have good taste!" You laughed.

You didn't know that the comment you made would cause Roth to tightly grip his book.

On the early hours on the day of your eighteenth birthday, Your kingdom had burned to the ground. Running away throughout the chaos of the castle, you made it to the throne room, hiding behind the curtains behind your father's throne. Your father, there as well, donned in his armor. All you could smell was burnt, human ash everywhere. All you could hear was the curdling screams of people being burned alive from the many fires that donned the kingdom. All you could see was almost pitch black. Your father covered your ears as your eyes erupted in tears.

Mary, your maid who had cared for you like an older sister.

Aldus, the head butler, who was a kind old man, soon rearing the age where he would retire from his position.

Elric, the stableman who helped you ride your horse, Matilda for the first time.

Jocosa, the maid who seemed rather rude at first, but really cared for others, not wanting them to get hurt.

Emma, your tutor who was strict but kind and always loved you like a motherly figure.

And your little brother, Theo, who was so cheeky and mischievous.

All of them dead from burning from the fire. You could hear Theo's screams, calling out for you and your father, before it was too late.

Today, was meant to be a day of celebration. A day of joy. A day full of fun and splendid memories. But soon you snapped out of your daydream when both your and your father heard footsteps approaching the throne room. Stopping your tears, you held your breath. Not wanting the man who burned your kingdom to notice you or your father. "I know both of you are here."

You squeaked as lightly as possible, as your father got up. You shook your head, tears flowing out your eyes while doing so. Your father kissed your forehead as he hugged you tight. "(y/n), don't worry about me. I will be back before you know it..."

Your father walked out from behind the curtain as you could only peak through an opening. "Your Majesty."

You recognized the voice and the silhouette of the man. 'Roth?!' you thought. "Rothbart! Stop this at once!" your father had commanded.

There was only a silence between them as your father yelled once more. "STOP THIS AT ONCE ROTHBART!"

You could tell that your father was scared. His fingers looked like they were twitching, trying to unsheathed his sword from his scabbard. "I, King Fredhelm the II, will stop you from burning my kingdom down to ash!"

Your father ran with his sword, as he was burned. Before you could see it, you held your mouth shut, and closed your eyes, feeling your tear rushing out. You heard your father's screams as you shut your eyes even harder and covered your ears. The heat of the fire felt close to you, until you opened your eyes, to see ash all over the place, turning your head to see Roth take you in his hand and dragging you out of the kingdom.

You struggled at his grip, as he took you on horse and rode, far away from your home, as you watch it fall into a sea of flames, with the sounds of screaming waves, fading the further away you were.

You cried on the horse as Roth tried to soothe you. He wanted you to know why he did this.

It's because of you

Afraid of you running away he turned you into a swan against your will. "Your beautiful like a swan (y/n)...too beautiful."

The process was painful. As the sun slowly rose from the east, your skin felt like it was being forcefully shedding, like it burned and soon you turned into a swan by morning.

Roth smiled bittersweetly. "I had to do this (y/n). Your too beautiful, and as such, nobody can see you."

A swan by day, and a princess by night. Those tales only come out of legends, and soon you were a legend when men noticed you alone on the lake at night in the moonlight. They died that same night.

Roth killing them, and then hugging you, tightly.

And thus for the next 10 years, you were nothing more than a legend, and were being used by Rothbart, to fulfill his desires to be complete.

A/N: IM BACK!!! I will take a millennium to update this story due to school. Thank you!

[reidshearts]

new roomie?

pairing: steve harrington x fem!henderson reader

content: swearing, mentions of drugs, idiot steve

y/n henderson had always envies her younger brother. I mean come on, how had Dustin Henderson manage to gain five more friends than her. the only friend y/n had was the infamous willow roth, ex-cheerleader at hawkins high and your current roommate at college. they had been strangers before bumping into each other at a fresher's week party, coincidently studying the same subject; law.

you two became best friends and lived in the same flat until willow got suspended for multiple instances of being caught with weed on the campus along with other drugs, however with a record as clean as her's and straight grades she got lucky and no law enforcements were called.

"do your seriously have to leave!", you exclaimed, laying on your back on the bed with your head dangling off "- i mean it wasn't that bad...right will?"

your best friends mouth curled into a smile as she witnessed your antics, "it was going to happen eventually y/n, anyways robin was telling me about this hot new guy who joined, something about going to high school with him back in Hawkins". now this caught your attention as you roll off the bed with a thud onto your stomach.

"first of all ouch and secondly you say that as if im obsessed and fall in love with every guy i see!" you huff, sitting up against your bed, earning a look of disbelief from willow.

"alright fine! how hot on a scale of ten? also what subject is he taking? does he have a girlfriend because that is the biggest question i need to know-"

"-slow down y/n/n ! and to answer your questions, ten out of ten, i think some sports or doctor related thing, and i dont know ask robin when you next see her! anyways shouldn't you start cleaning the flat since your new roomie should be arriving in 20 minutes?!" replies willow with a hand on her hip.

"jeez okay mum!", reluctantly standing from your position on the floor to fling yourself into willows arms "but first a goodbye hug!!"

after 10 more minutes of goodbyes with lots of tears and laughing, you began the cleaning which didn't take too long seeing as all the rooms were tiny! while wiping the counters in the kitchen you heard the jingle of keys and the opening of the front door, so you threw the cloth in the sink and flattened out your skirt before making your way into the view of the door.

you slightly flinch as the door slammed against the wall behind it as her new roommate came into view lugging suitcases and a backpack inside, looking up at the stranger before you, you struggled to get the words out.

My gods he was pretty, mousy brunette hair with lighter brown highlights were illuminated from the sun streaming through the kitchen blinds. you didn't know whether it was from the heat or if he was naturally glowing that caused your eyes to widen as you shamelessly checked him out. clearing your throat you draw your eyes away and caught yourself from where they were to soon follow his torso down lower and smile back up at him.

"y/n", you exclaimed loudly before clearing your throat and beginning again , "Sorry hi I'm y/n henderson!"

Shaking his head at the abruptness as he takes his turn to admire you and he smiles widely before if falls with shock and confusion after processing what you had just said, "Henderson? shit"

He can not be falling for dustin's sister!

[theuncoolertrinity]

LOL idc if this post is russian im in love the second pic

live laugh love nicky (on a fucking skateboard)

⛓️🩵 Вот держите артики с маленьким ребёнком Ники Ротом из мультфильма "Добро пожаловать в Рэйвен Брукс." Всё таки решила выложить все свои старые арты, ну так почему бы и нет?.. 🤷🩵⛓️

[kissorkill16]

I saw in a YouTube video, and on a few comments thanks to a couple of people on Tumblr that Nicky was originally supposed to be Theodore's son. Let me just write a storyline on how that would play out.

So Ted and Luanne were married before Ted and Diane, and Luanne used to be his housewife. Soon after they got married and had XXX, Luanne gave birth to Nicky and that's when Nicky was first known as Nicholas Michael Peterson.

Things started out okay. Ted really loved Nicky. He held him in his buff arms, and sang him a lullaby, the same lullaby that he did in Waking Nightmares. Tom, Tom, the Piper's son. Nicky even liked that booming laugh Ted had, whenever he laughed, the baby laughed too. Nicky made Ted so happy.

But things slowly got rocky.

Ted started becoming more focused on work. Spending more time at work, less time at home, and even less time with his family. Luanne got fed up and the two had a big fight, resulting in a divorce. Luanne got full custody of Nicky, but wouldn't allow Ted to see him.

After the divorce, Ted developed depression and anger issues. A year later, he met Diane and was happy to find out that she was recently divorced and already had two kids, Aaron and Mya. However, Ted never told her about his past family.

But even after he married her, that woman and those children kept reminding him of what he lost. He missed Luanne and Nicky, but he still loved Diane and her kids though, they filled in his empty heart, just not completely.

One day, he tracked Luanne down, and was absolutely furious when he found out that she married some other man named James (Jay) Roth. He went to their house, kidnapped Nicky, and drove off, trying to make it back to his house. Unfortunately, his car got hit by a street lamp.

In his coma, he had an encounter with a demon (The Guest) who said that his baby was dying because the street lamp hit him. He begged the demon not to let him die, to save him. The demon agreed, but with a heavy price. Nicky would have no memory of him. Ted agreed, and fell deeper into depression. But hey, at least the baby lived.

Years passed, and the Roths now live across the street from the Petersons. When Aaron first brought Nicky over, Ted nearly fainted upon hearing his name. Ted wanted nothing more than to just lift him up in his arms and hug him, but he remembered the deal he had with the demon and how Nicky has absolutely no memory of him. Ted also hated when Nicky called him Mr. Peterson.

Also, part of the reason why Luanne didn't want to invite the Petersons over for dinner was because she knew Ted and didn't want Nicky to find out he was his real father.

Anyways, fast forward through all the canon stuff. Diane dies, Mya falls off the roof, Ted locks Aaron in the basement, Nicky spies on Mr. Peterson to try and save him, and ends up getting kidnapped by Ted.

Ted is overjoyed to finally have his son back, and does everything to try to help him remember. Showing him pictures, and singing him that creepy lullaby he always liked, trying to make him call him dad, but all that did was make Nicky more scared. Every time Nicky tried escaping, Ted felt guilty every time he had to hurt him or drug him.

And while this was going on, Luanne was currently having panic attacks and mental breakdowns, thinking about how Ted could've been the one that kidnapped him, since he was her ex-husband.

After Nicky escapes, Luanne doesn't even need to ask where he's been the past 2 months. She felt like she already knew. And boy she was so close to killing Mr. Peterson.

Fast forward years later, Nicky is all grown up. After Act 3, Nicky eventually finds out on his mother's death bed that Jay wasn't his real father. He suddenly remembers all the things that Ted did to him as a baby. All of the cradling, singing, and hugs. He now understands why Ted was trying so hard to make him remember all of that, he was his real father.

He finds out that Ted is still alive, but in prison. He pays his bail, and tells him everything his mother told him. They have a small family reunion, and Nicky's first thought is to find Aaron and tell him about all of this. Ted is hesitant at first, but then he realizes that Aaron has a right to know.

He tracks Aaron down, and they learn that he's been staying with Quentin Gershowitz back in Germany. As soon as they find Aaron, Nicky explains everything to him. Aaron's reluctant to accept it at first, considering Ted never told him about any of this, but eventually forgives Ted since he realized his best friend was also his stepbrother.

They all live together happily ever after.

(Sorry if this is a shitty storyline, I just came up with all of this off the top of my head.)

[mc-lukanette]

Luka laughed into the phone. "Marinette, I'm sure you don't need lessons anymore. Your playing already sounds amazing."

"You say that all the time," she huffed, Luka grinning as he imagined the pout on the other end of the line. "Besides, it'll—it'll be different! We'll be in a real place you'd play music instead of your room, so you can judge my playing fairly!"

"Mhm~"

"And I already called Penny so she could get it! There'll be some extra time too if you want to call the others to practice—!"

"You don't have to try to convince me," he cut in, leaning back on his bed casually. "I'm looking forward to it."

"It? How—?!" She paused, then let out a sheepish giggle. "Right, our lesson. Gotcha. See you later!"

She hung up before he could reply. Still, he said a fond, "See you," into his phone even though she couldn't have heard it. As he took it away from his ear, he navigated to his gallery and tapped on the picture that Juleka had taken of Marinette's first guitar lesson with him.

More specifically, it was a screenshot he'd taken of Marinette's post online that contained said picture. He already adored the picture itself - even if he'd been a fool to be staring at Marinette while a camera was being pointed at him, trapping his love-struck face into eternal replay - but Marinette's caption just made it better.

Starting guitar lessons today courtesy of Luka! 🥰🎶

He grinned wider, the heart face in particular warming him. Regardless of how Marinette saw him romantically, she clearly thought highly of him and that was enough.

She was good - really good - at guitar, just like he knew she'd be. She listened to him with every lesson, asked politely for feedback, and was willing to admit when there was something she didn't understand.

The only tragedy that came with seeing her get better was knowing that their lessons would get shorter and eventually come to an end altogether. Luka vividly recalled Marinette asking Juleka to take a picture of her first lesson to post online, then muttering about how glad she was that pictures didn't capture the sound of her awful playing.

He honestly didn't think she sounded that bad for her first time, but he might've been too focused on the song she played without need of a guitar.

——

Eventually, Luka arrived at the TV studio, trying not to smirk too wide at the guards who now had to let him in. The ride up the elevator felt long compared to what he expected, but he knew he was impatient when it came to Marinette.

Even if it was as simple as a guitar lesson, he loved spending time with her.

He entered the room slowly, a mix of positive and negative memories rushing back to him at the mere sight: the designs and music in their video getting stolen, getting mocked by Bob Roth and XY, Marinette being threatened, and finally getting the justice they deserved that let Kitty Section play on live TV.

In the center of all of it was Marinette, who he saw sat down on the stage they'd played while holding a guitar - his guitar - in her lap. It was technically something he let her borrow, but he also had no intention of asking for it back. After all, he had two black-and-white guitars, not one. Both had the same base, but the neck design was different for them. The one he gave to Marinette continued the black-and-white theme with a monochrome neck, whereas the guitar he used for himself had a wooden one.

Because there was so little difference between them, it made it easy to instruct Marinette on where her fingers should go, especially when he could either guide her hands or use himself as an example. She'd always appreciated the ease of it.

Seeing her cradling it like she was, despite already having it for so long, made him unreasonably happy.

"Hey, Marinette," he greeted.

She made eye contact with him, her shoulders relaxing as he approached. Taking one hand off the guitar to wave, she greeted him back with a smile.

He took his guitar case off, then sat down next to her and set it beside him. He turned away from her to undo the latch keeping the case shut, but her hand caught his arm before he could.

"Wait."

Glancing at her, he raised a brow. Her face seemed oddly serious all of a sudden, but he couldn't imagine why she wouldn't want him to take his guitar out.

"I, ah..." She pulled her hand back, fingertips rubbing against her thumb self-consciously. "I wanted you to listen to something before our lesson?"

He perked up. "You wrote something?"

It hadn't been his intention, but his enthusiasm alleviated her anxiety. She took a breath, sheepishly averting her gaze as she replied, "Um, sort of?"

He leaned towards her with intrigue, watching quietly as she checked, double-checked, and triple-checked the guitar to ensure it was properly tuned. He wouldn't have doubted if she'd also checked it before he arrived.

He was absolutely fascinated. Marinette had already had so many talents and hobbies that he thought she was just picking up guitar for the sake of it or as a tool to get her emotions out, but for her to go and actually write something?

He couldn't wait.

Once Marinette was ready, she closed her eyes and strummed a simply melody. It was a warm-up that Luka had taught her - only drawing him in further - but the moment she was done, the real song began.

It started out slow and even a bit bitter. While she didn't add any lyrics, Luka could feel the emotions in the song: loneliness and a lack of hope. It sounded strangely familiar to him, yet he couldn't place it.

Then, the song picked up, and the familiarity came with it. It didn't take Luka any time to catch it because he'd not just heard it, but played it himself. It wasn't a perfect recreation, but it was the song he'd played for Marinette when they first met.

She'd remembered it all this time.

It took one more change of tune, but that was when it clicked for him: she was playing them. She was playing all of their moments together and how they made her feel, from their slightly shaky beginning to his song for her and everything after that. He swallowed, already overwhelmed.

It all culminated when she got to the day they'd learned their music video had been stolen. He could hear the anger of the realization, the low subtlety as they snuck into the studio together, the fear when Bob Roth threatened her, the shock when he'd gotten akumatized to save her, and finally the tenderness when he'd confessed to her.

It took a lot to put one's feelings into music. It required a sense of vulnerability that Luka genuinely admired in a person: the ability to lay one's feelings bare to someone they trust. He almost wanted to ask Marinette to stop - seeing the visible strain on her face at everything she was trying to play right - but he couldn't bring himself to tarnish her efforts in any form.

Thus, he kept listening, almost forgetting to breathe in his awe of her.

There had always been something he could hear in the background of her song whenever he was with her, but he hadn't been sure of it. He thought he may've been fooling himself or was simply mishearing, yet now Marinette was playing it right in front of him as if to make sure he heard.

Love. She was playing not just their experiences together, but her feelings for him. She hadn't fallen as hard as he had when they met, meaning that those feelings started small and only grew over time. He hadn't noticed or at least tried not to, unwilling to be wrong despite his intuition so often being correct.

This was her way of confessing, her way of saying that she cherished their time together, that he was important to her, and that she was even sorry for taking as long as she did for it all to come together. Luka couldn't imagine a single thing that she needed to be sorry for, and certainly not when she was making him feel such a way. His heart was pounding like it wanted to escape his chest and he could barely sit still.

Eventually, the song came to an end, Marinette's face flushed red as she rested her arms on the guitar. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she explained shyly, "Y-you did it in words, so I thought... I thought I should do it in your language." Turning to him, eyes glistening with emotion, she added, "I know I'm still learning, but I couldn't wait! I wanted you to know, and if I waited too long, I was afraid you'd—mmphf—"

He kissed her. He'd never been the one to just act, but his guitar was still in his case and he needed her to know that he still reciprocated regardless of how much time had passed. He'd even scooted closer to be within distance to kiss her, and the guitar that she'd used to play such beautiful music was suddenly a nuisance, keeping him from showing his full affection.

Marinette, either reading his mind or being naturally in sync with him, used a hand to move it off her lap and to the side opposite of him. Legs free to move, she turned fully towards him and grabbed his jacket to pull him closer, Luka moving in response to cup her face with both hands.

He'd already been breathless from her performance, but he held the contact as long as he could, no other thought in his head beyond showing her that she was loved.

When they both pulled back, it was only a few inches away from each other. Luka simply had no intent to get any further away than necessary and Marinette still had a firm grip on him.

They made some attempts to speak, opening their mouths a few times to form words, but nothing came out. He thought that perhaps she'd seen him opening his mouth and stopped herself, but the timing was all off. They were both lost for words that they didn't need anyway.

A gentle yet insistent tug was all he needed to kiss her again, thoughts of inviting the rest of Kitty Section there having been abandoned long ago.

[grigori77]

2024 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30. BOY KILLS WORLD – Turns out this was a REALLY GREAT YEAR for action cinema, and the first genre entry here is EXACTLY what you’d expect from the true master of anarchic movie mayhem, Sam Raimi, here producing the feature debut of ambitious young German visual effects artist-turned writer-director Moritz Mohr. The newcomer’s crazy PERFECTLY compliments our veteran’s crazy, because this is like if The Raid movies had been made by Don Coscarelli (see John Dies At the End for reference) – basically a geeky love letter to classic 90s 16-bit beat-‘em-up video games, it follows the bizarre misadventures of Bill Skarsgard’s “the Boy”, a traumatised deaf-mute orphan raised and trained to become a lethal living weapon by a mysterious (and genuinely WEIRD) jungle shaman (The Raid’s own Yayan Ruhian) in order to avenge his family’s brutal murder at the hands of the Van Der Kroys, the bloodthirsty organised crime family holding their dystopian city under a cruel thumb of violent oppression. The film has been described as a “fever dream”, and honestly that’s a pretty accurate assessment – this is a COMPLETELY FUCKING MENTAL film, frequently spiralling off on surreal flights of fancy as its already pretty bonkers plot starts to unravel in truly WEIRD directions, but thankfully this adds to the unique charm a lot more than it ever threatens to alienate the viewer, sticking to JUST the right side of satirical parody while delivering a consistently winning line in jet black comedy. Besides, the MAIN attraction here is EXACTLY what most viewers come to this kind of film for, and Mohr EASILY delivers in this venue – the action sequences are INCREDIBLE, flawlessly executed even as they frequently become as downright INSANE as every other aspect of the film, and without pulling ANY punches to deliver some of the year’s most gratuitously GRAPHIC blood-and-guts. Skarsgard is, like always, thoroughly BRILLIANT throughout, effortlessly proving what an incredibly expressive physical actor he can be since he never speaks a word throughout the entire film … but that doesn’t mean the Boy doesn’t get his point across just fine, the film delivering a pretty ingenious conceit by having him speak to us through his “inner monologue”, using the announcer voice from his favourite arcade game when he was a child (voice actor extraordinaire H. Jon Benjamin, star of Archer, Bob’s Burgers and Dr Katz, Professional Therapist). Then there’s the top-notch supporting cast, featuring the likes of Michelle Dockery, Stranger Things’ Brett Gelman, Sharlto Copley and Famke Jansen as the uniformly despicable Van Der Kroys, Jessica Rothe (Happy Death Day and its sequel) as their lethal enforcer June 27, and Andrew Koji (Warrior, Snake Eyes, Bullet Train) as Basho, the affable oddball resistance fighter the Boy befriends and enlists into his crusade along with Benny (the Old Spice Man himself, Isaiah Mustafa), a mighty warrior with a thick beard and moustache who provides some of the film’s biggest belly-laughs (for reasons it’s best for you to find out for yourselves, trust me). Relentlessly ridiculous, unflinchingly messy and frequently laugh-out-loud hilarious, this was definitely one of the year’s most unapologetically ODD films, but also definitely one of the most FUN too, as well as a spectacular showcase for the talents of a VERY fresh new filmmaking talent who is doubtless destined for great things in the future. Just be forewarned, it definitely AIN’T one for the faint-of-heart or weak-of-stomach …

29. CARRY-ON – Arriving just in time for Christmas, this fast-paced suspense thriller from Netflix is genuinely the closest in a very long time indeed I’ve seen a film get to challenging Die Hard as the DEFINITIVE festive action flick, and for once it doesn’t feel like it was really even TRYING to. For the most part the latest from pulpy Spanish action cinema director Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan, The Shallows, Black Adam) seems more intent on following the tried and tested formula he’s mostly reserved for his regular collaborations with Liam Neeson (particularly Non-Stop and The Commuter), although he definitely seems to have made something that feels a good deal more vital and worthy of our serious attention this time round. Taron Egerton’s back on the unassuming action hero track as Ethan Kopek, a young TSA officer at LAX who dreams of being a proper police officer and has grown disenchanted with his his current lot in life even though he’s in a loving relationship with his girlfriend Nora (Descendants’ Sofia Carson), who’s pregnant with their first child. Looking to show willing in order to secure a promotion so he can support his new family and move on to better opportunities, he talks his boss Phil (Breaking Bad’s own “Big Jim”, Dean Norris) into giving him a trial run with a good deal more responsibility manning a baggage-scanner on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately this is the day a group of domestic terrorists have chosen to smuggle a dangerous package onboard one of the flights, and Ethan’s now in their crosshairs as the man they need to extort into letting them get it through customs without being stopped … as taut, knuckle-whitening edge-of-seat thrillers go, this is a genuine doozy, ramping up the tension with Collet-Serra’s trademark skill while simultaneously doing a bang-up job of establishing just what a likeable, stand-up guy Ethan in so we’re fully invested in everything he does and goes through as he searches for any loophole he can exploit in order to squeeze out of this terrifying dilemma. Egerton handles his substantial share of the narrative’s heavy lifting pretty effortlessly, once again showing us what a winningly charming talent he is, while he’s ably supported by Carson, Norris, Theo Rossi (Sons of Anarchy), Logan Marshall-Green and, in particular, Danielle Deadwyler (Station Eleven, The Harder They Fall) as Elena Cole, a tough LAPD detective whose current investigation leads her into a collision course with the day’s events. The standout turn here, however, definitely comes from Jason Bateman, who oozes subtle menace and sharp-witted guile as Traveller, the cold-blooded mercenary looking to force Ethan to comply with his demands no matter how much blood he has to shed to get there. Their fraught exchanges are the particularly vital life’s blood of the film, Egerton and Bateman’s dynamite chemistry providing particularly powerful fuel to keep this razor sharp thriller barrelling along at a spectacular clip. Ultimately, as far as festive thrillers go Die Hard may still rule the roost, but this is definitely the strongest contender I’ve come across in quite some time. Looks like I got an extra little Xmas flick to enjoy during the Holidays now ...

28. LAND OF BAD – Remember back in 2020 when I heaped praise on the harrowing deep sea horror thriller Underwater, the first proper studio movie from up-and-coming writer-director William Eubank, after he’d become one of my one-to-watch rising stars with his first two definitively INDIE sci-fi movies Love and The Signal? I’m sure my regulars will … anyway, he’s shed those more outlandish genre trappings for his fourth feature, but none of his winning auteur flair, robust atmospherics and deft skill at crafting meaty action sequences, this time turning his already deeply assured artistic hand to cranking out a good old fashioned action flick, and the results are as impressive as previous showings. This one definitely has the strongest star power to date, with the new Netflix Witcher himself, Liam Hemsworth (The Hunger Games), putting in a solid action hero showing as Sgt. “Playboy” Kinney, a young US Air Force TACP officer who finds himself attached to a small Delta Force team braving Philippines jungle to rescue a captive CIA asset from an imbedded terrorist cell; Russell Crowe, meanwhile, chews the scenery as Capt. Eddie “Reaper” Grimm, the grizzled, OCD-riddled drone pilot assigned to provide overwatch and air support throughout the operation. Needless to say, when things go badly wrong and Kinney finds himself alone in the bush with angry hostiles hot on his heels, Grimm becomes his only hope for making it out alive … this is a typically big, loud and dumb action-fest that wears its trope-heavy heart on its Star Spangled sleeve, but Eubank and The Signal’s co-writer David Frigerio keep things compelling and make it EASY for us to invest in the story’s well-rounded characters, while the cast are all in fine form, the two EXTREMELY capable leads ably supported by Heroes’ Milo Ventimiglia, American Gods’ Ricky Whittle and Hemsworth’s brother Luke (Westworld) as the Delta troopers, and Chika Ikogwe (Heartbreak High, The Tourist) as Grimm’s steadfast co-pilot Staff Sgt. Nia Branson. Of course, at the end of the day we don’t watch these kinds of movies for complex plots, Oscar-worthy performances or Shakespeare-level scripts – this is all about thrilling escapist action, big explosions and maybe even some deftly-executed, stylistic cinematographic eye candy, and Eubank and co DEFINITELY deliver on ALL these fronts, crafting a persistently white-knuckle rollercoaster ride that’s guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat. Subtle it ain’t, but this movie does EXACTLY what it promises to, and does it with STYLE.

27. THE IRON CLAW – Acclaimed indie filmmaker Sean Durkin has been making waves ever since 2011 with his complex psychological drama Martha Marcy May Marlene and long-gestating 2020 follow-up The Nest, but his third feature is finally propelling him into BIG TIME star-power recognition with an unflinching and emotionally devastating exploration of the haunting true story of the Von Erich family, who rose to stardom in the late 70s to ALMOST become the dominant sporting dynasty in American pro-wrestling, if not for a persistent family “curse” which kept them from every truly reaching that coveted top spot. Rocked by a string of accidents and harrowing deaths, it’s a compelling tale of tragedy and heartbreak which writer-director Durkin turned into one of the year’s most powerful pieces of worthy Award-bait (only to be unfairly and comprehensively SNUBBED across the board, particularly by the Academy). The story unfolds predominantly from the point-of-view of Kevin Von Erich (Zac Efron), the (sort of) eldest son of the family’s brutally overbearing never-quite-made-it veteran wrestler patriarch Fritz (Mindhunter’s Holt McCallany), whose dream is to be the greatest pro-wrestler of all time, only for his dad to continually pass him over for his brothers David (Trust’s Harris Dickinson), Kerry (The Bear’s Jeremy Allen White) and Mike (Superior and Two Sentence Horror Stories’ Stanley Simons) while he tries to fulfil his own dream of creating a wrestling-based media empire … only for compounded tragedy to knock the Von Erichs off their newfound pedestal just as they’ve mounted it. Durkin has crafted a potent biopic of significant raw power, turning one of the darkest chapters of the dawn of modern pro-wrestling into two of the most heartbreaking hours I’ve spent at the cinema in a good long while, largely reining in any artistic flair and indulgence to instead let the challenging story and well-realised characters do the heavy lifting, and the uniformly EXCEPTIONAL cast definitely rise to the occasion. All four of the young actors playing the Von Erich sons are amazing here, particularly White, while Maura Tierney and Lily James help to keep the film from getting TOO overwhelmed by burgeoning testosterone as the boys’ gentle, devout mother Doris and Kevin’s opinionated young wife Pam; in the end, though, the film is soundly dominated by the two-handed lead fireworks from Efron and McCallany – Zac has NEVER been better than he is here, going above-and-beyond by COMPLETELY transforming himself physically while also acting his socks off in what must have been an extremely draining performance, while it’s nice to FINALLY see Holt get a role that can REALLY get his amazing talents the recognition they’ve long deserved, sinking his teeth into a complex portrayal of a man who never quite made it for himself and is now determined to live that dream vicariously through his own children, no matter the cost to their wellbeing. This is, ultimately, a very tough watch, but it’s still an incredibly well-made film that rewards those who are strong enough to tough it out, albeit one which is guaranteed to jerk a whole lot of tears out of viewers before the end credits roll.

26. GLADIATOR II – There is NO WAY this should have worked. Ridley Scott’s seminal Millennial comeback masterpiece, the film that single-handedly revitalised the decades-dead sword & sandals subgenre of historical epic cinema, told a perfectly complete standalone story and came to a pretty definitively FINAL climax, so the thought of even TRYING to make a sequel seemed like anathema. But it was also a truly INSANE financial and critical hit, so the studios were DETERMINED to make the idea work, no matter the cost. Amazingly, Scott was entirely onboard with the idea, and if ANYONE could come up with a way to make it work … even so, it languished in Development Hell for SO LONG that it started to look like we’d probably end up being spared the ordeal after all. Until NOW … so, does the finished product actually DELIVER on what Scott and co have been promising all these years? Well … SORT OF … for the most part, at least, it manages to pull it off well enough to justify its existence, and in fact in several places even does its sky-high predecessor proud. Explaining how they actually made it work doesn’t exactly dump any major spoilers our way, the identity of the hero this time round’s been a pretty open secret for YEARS – Paul Mescal (Aftersun, All of Us Strangers) takes over from original actor Spencer Treat Clark in the role of Lucius, the now grown son of Lucilla (Connie Nielsen) and grandson of the great Caesar Marcus Aurelius, who returns to Rome after years spent in hiding from lethal political machinations as an enslaved gladiator after being taken as a prisoner of war in Africa. Bought by ambitious former slave-turned would-be usurper Macrinus (Denzel Washington), he quickly makes a name for himself as the people’s champion, “Hanno”, in the Colosseum and becomes a pawn in a desperate plot to depose the tyrannical twin emperors, Geta (Stranger Things’ Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fear Street and The White Lotus’ Fred Hechinger), once his mother realises he’s alive. Typically for a Ridley Scott film, this is a massively opulent and visually stunning piece of work, every penny of the almost indecent budget right there on the screen for all to see, and once again he’s done as much of it as he can for real with expansive sets and insanely over-the-top stunt-packed action sequences (this time introducing the added complication of WATER to proceedings in the film’s two most impressive set-pieces, the opening battle and the standout arena match), while the cast is, yet again, comprehensively STACKED. Mescal may be a little too internalised to really stand up to comparisons with Russell Crowe, but he definitely LOOKS the part, and acquits himself admirably through this physically demanding role; ultimately we have a lot more fun with the supporting players, with Quinn and Hechinger chewing the scenery with gusto while Nielsen and Pedro Pascal (as her husband, General Acacius, a celebrated hero) deliver the requisite dose of highbrow stately gravitas alongside Tim McInnerny, Game of Thrones’ Rory McCann and a returning Derek Jacoby. The film is thoroughly stolen, however, by Washington, who’s clearly having the time of his life getting to overact as one of the most enjoyably theatrical villains I’ve had the pleasure of watching on the big screen in quite some time. Ultimately the finished film proves to be a bit less than the sum of its parts, particularly suffering in terms of a sometimes muddled, occasionally even nonsensical plot, but as overblown spectacles go it’s nonetheless huge fun, clearly giving up on even TRYING to equal the worthy heft of the original by instead opting to become a far more unapologetically camp and intentionally melodramatic popcorn extravaganza. The result may very much be a guilty pleasure, but there’s no denying that it’s still THE BEST thing we’ve seen from Ridley Scott since The Martian. And as far as I’m concerned that makes it a ROUSING success.

25. DOUBLE BLIND – Every year there’s at least a handful of under-the-radar indies that really impress me enough that I’m willing to really champion them, and it’s particularly gratifying whenever I find one which blows critics and other audience members away as much as myself. Such it is with the feature debut of Irish director Ian Hunt-Duffy, a sneaky psychological horror thriller which earned itself a coveted 100% Fresh Score from Rotten Tomatoes with its mixture of slowburn creepiness, burgeoning stress-driven paranoid terror and some particularly twisted mind-bending body horror. Millie Brady (The Last Kingdom, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies) makes for a compellingly believable rough-around-the-edges every-girl heroine as Claire, a down-on-her-luck young woman who enrols in a double blind trial for an experimental drug to keep from becoming homeless, only to become increasingly miserable as the compound she’s been injected with causes chronic insomnia in herself and her fellow test subjects. Then one of them suddenly dies in the most horrible way when her exhausted body finally succumbs to long-prevented sleep, and it quickly becomes clear that every one of them is now living on a dangerously short amount of borrowed time, while the pharmaceutical company they’ve been hired by is suddenly refusing to let them out of quarantine … Brady’s ably supported by a small but perfectly cast collection of talent, with Akshay Kumar (Pandora, Homeland) and Diarmuid Noyes (Borgia) particularly impressing as fellow sleep-deprived lab rats and Pollyanna McIntosh (The Walking Dead) as the trial’s put-upon overseer, Dr Burke, while Hunt-Duffy wrangles his potent cast through the increasingly nightmarish twists and turns of the harrowing script, crafted with similarly assured skill by fellow newcomer screenwriter Darach McGarrigle. Altogether this is an incredible debut for a couple of clear one-to-watch talents, and a nifty little uncut gem which deserves sleeper hit status going forward. Definitely well worth chasing down and giving a chance.

24. THE MINISTRY OF UNGENTLEMANLY WARFARE – Once again Hollywood is making it ABUNDANTLY clear they just DON’T LIKE Guy Ritchie any more, and I have NO IDEA WHY … despite 2020’s The Gentleman becoming a modest box office hit and signifying what many considered a triumphant return to form for the man who brought us the likes of Snatch, RocknRolla and the Sherlock Holmes movies (although personally I never thought he actually really fell off, despite what Swept Away and Aladdin might have made us think), his subsequent releases all got largely BURIED online – granted, some of it was down to COVID, but even after everything started to get back to normal the inexplicably disrespectful treatment continued, with Wrath of Man and The Covenant, both impressively well-executed and evocative cinematic features in their own rights, getting released straight to streaming in many countries with frustratingly little fanfare to drum up the attention they clearly deserved. At least this one made it into more theatres, but with a lacklustre advertising campaign and stiff competition from much more high profile fare it sank like a stone, almost like Lionsgate didn’t even WANT IT to succeed. Even worse, for some unbelievably stupid reason it didn’t even RELEASE in the UK, meaning I had to wait until it subsequently hit Amazon before finally getting to check it out. The most frustrating part, though, was that the critics CLEARLY feel the same as I do about the film we actually received – this is a TOP DRAWER piece of work, further proof that Ritchie never actually LOST a step, another genuine belter of a flick which takes a brilliant premise and crafts an offbeat and deliciously entertaining cinematic caper that deserved to be seen by a really big audience on a proper big screen. Taken from Winston Churchill’s declassified WWII files, it follows the true life exploits of special forces commando Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) as he put together a covert team in order to execute a top secret raid on a German U-boat outfitting operation in the hopes of crippling the subs long enough to help bring the

Americans into the War. The only problem? March-Phillips was a disgraced loose-cannon, a fiercely independent troublemaker with a reputation for going off-mission and a major problem with authority figures … he was also the original inspiration for James Bond, then mid-ranking SOE-officer Ian Fleming using him as the basis for the mercurial protagonist of his best-selling spy novels (and the rest, of course, is history). Needless to say, it looks like this will be the closest Cavill’s ever gonna get to actually playing Bond, and he really sank his teeth into the opportunity, clearly having the time of his life investing the character with his trademark twinkle and roguish charm (as well as an amusing appreciation for fine men’s fashions); he’s the ironclad backbone of the film, driving the action and story with typical aplomb, and is ably supported by a winningly motley collection of misanthropes, the gang of miscreants March-Phillips put together to execute Operation Postmaster brought to life in pitch-perfect performances from Alan Ritchson (Reacher), Alex Pettyfer, Eiza Gonzalez, Henry Golding and more, while there’s an enjoyably NASTY turn from Inglourious Basterds’ Til Schweiger as the film’s dastardly big bad, SS Commandant Heinrich Luhr, and Ritchie regular Cary Elwes brings his classic stiff-upper-lip to bear as the operation’s top CO, Brigadier Colin Gubbins, while an all-but-unrecognisable Rory Kinnear portrays a suitably gruff Winston Churchill. Ultimately, Ritchie delivers an enjoyably fiendish heist movie masquerading as a war flick, the plot snaking with crafty glee through a series of expertly executed set-pieces and ingenious little twists before finally landing a brilliantly cathartic climax which pays fitting respect to the real life heroes that inspired the film, along with one of the greatest espionage thriller franchises OF ALL TIME. That alone should have won this movie some respect, at least enough to raise its profile, and it’s a criminal shame it’s been treated with SUCH glaring disrespect. Here’s hoping it earns the cult classic status it deserves, that might redress SOME of the balance …

23. LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL – Australian writer-director duo Colin and Cameron Cairnes exploded onto the indie horror scene with their delirious jet black comedy horror 100 Bloody Acres back in 2012, which proved to be one of the most enjoyably OUT THERE horror flicks I’ve EVER SEEN come out of Aussie cinema, and they continued the trend with similarly ingenious but more serious prank-show slasher Scare Campaign. Their long awaited Hollywood debut definitely plays itself dead straight, presenting a faux-documentary presentation of a long-lost episode of fictional 1970s chat show Night Owls (together with “recently unearthed” B-roll footage of backstage events) in which struggling TV host Jack Delroy (The Suicide Squad’s David Dastmalchian) attempts to put his long-time second-place show (always outshone by The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson) at the top of the ratings board by capping his annual Halloween Special with a live interview with a demon supposedly inhabiting the teenage sole survivor of the bloody massacre of a Satanic cult. This is EASILY one of the scariest films I saw this past year, a skin-crawling, spine-chilling piece of thoroughly queasy-making atmospheric horror that uses its period setting to perfect effect to not only give the unfolding events a convincing flavour but also pay off some particularly interesting era-specific themes and conceits. Even before the horror elements start to come to the fore the film is shot through with a palpable sense of lingering dread, building to a genuinely terrifying climactic unleashing of nightmarish proportions to rival the very classic genre mainstays, like The Exorcist and The Omen, that it’s clearly paying loving homage to. There are quality turns from a very game cast, particularly Ian Bliss (The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions) as one of the night’s guests, Carmichael Haig, a stage magician-turned professional sceptic, and Ingrid Torelli (Five Bedrooms) as Lilly, the supremely creepy overly-cheerful and polite vessel of demonic possession, but the film is definitely dominated by its lead, Dastmalchian turning in yet another astounding performance of perfectly pitched charismatic charm that hides an intriguingly affecting reserve of wounded vulnerability, powering the film’s horrifying events through to their genuinely shocking conclusion. Did I mention there’s also an enjoyably quirky turn from Michael Ironside as the documentary narrator? That’s just the icing on the cake for a truly perfect slice of horror cinema which, in a purely critical rundown, would land close to the top of my cinematic list for the year. As it is, this WAS one hell of a genre gem …

22. THE FALL GUY – Stuntman-turned-director David Leitch’s latest film (following well-deserved previous successes co-helming the first John Wick film before striking out on his own for Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Hobbs & Shaw and Bullet Train) is not only a genuinely EXTRAORDINARY big screen adaptation of one of the classic old school action adventure TV shows I grew up watching (alongside Knight Rider, The A-Team and Airwolf), but also raises one of the great unanswered questions of cinema – why isn’t there an Academy Award for stunts? Anyway … turns out that Ken, in last-year’s runaway hit Barbie, wasn’t the ONLY role that Ryan Gosling was born to play – he’s equally perfect for the role of Colt Seavers, the seasoned “unsung hero” who makes all those action hero movie stars look so awesome, at least until an on-set accident left him with a near career-ending back injury which forced him into semi-retirement. He’s brought back into the game, however, when the action movie star he used to double for, Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), disappears midway through the production of the debut directorial feature of his former lover, camera-operator Jody Moreno (Emily Blunt). On paper he’s here to fill in for Ryder, but he’s really been brought in to find the missing star before the studio gets wise and shuts down production, but as he delves into what turns out to be a pretty tangled mystery it becomes clear that Colt might not really be the right man for the job … unfortunately he’s all they got … Gosling may be a master of understated performance, but as I’ve learned over the years (particularly from the criminally underappreciated The Nice Guys) he’s ALSO a master of comedic acting, and he’s really firing on all cylinders for this one, frequently damn near stealing the show from a high class cast who are nonetheless all equal to the task. Blunt is, as always, as flawlessly charming as she is STUNNINGLY beautiful, while Taylor-Johnson is clearly really enjoying playing a supreme douchebag of a preening self-promoting prima donna, Ted Lasso’s Hannah Waddington frequently walks off with her scenes as supremely oily producer Gail Meyer, and Everything Everywhere All At Once’s Stephanie Hsu and the great Winston Duke both hold their own admirably as Ryder’s put-upon personal assistant Alma and Colt’s long-suffering best friend, stunt coordinator Dan Tucker. Needless to say, Leitch has long since proven that he is a MASTER of on-screen mayhem, effortlessly ushering in some of the very best action sequences we saw in the cinema this past year, but he also once again proves he’s ALSO a master of big screen comedy, bringing the pitch perfect screenplay from Drew Pearce (who previously wrote Hobbs & Shaw, as well as Iron Man 3 and his own directorial debut Hotel Artemis) to effervescent primary-coloured life as a gleefully anarchic and thoroughly irreverent celebration of action cinema excess and the gruelling hard work that it takes to actually make it all possible, all done with barely ANY digital trickery at all. All round, then, this was some of the most fun I had at the cinema in 2024, and once again, it really does raise that all-time great question – WHY ISN’T THERE an Oscar for stunt work? Gods know this one would definitely have been a shoe-in come the Awards season …

21. DON’T MOVE – You may not know the names of co-directing duo Adam Schindler and Brian Netto (to date I only really know them from little-seen but admittedly pretty impressive straight-to-demand found-footage horror Delivery), but you should definitely make a note of them for future reference given just how beautifully this short but VERY SWEET high-concept suspense thriller from Netflix and producer Sam Raimi executes its fiendishly simplistic premise. Kelsey Asbille (Wind River, Fargo, Yellowstone) shines incredibly brightly in a beautifully nuanced and physically demanding turn as Iris, a young woman who’s having a hard time getting over the tragic loss of her young son, only to find herself stalked through isolated woodlands by serial killer Richard (American Horror Story’s Finn Wittrock, equal parts charming and chilling throughout), who knows he only has to wear her down after injecting her with a dose of a drug that will inexorably rob her of control of all her bodily functions. Her only hope is to get away from him long enough to wait out the drug’s effects, or otherwise find help, but as he dogs her trail her situation goes from bad to worse to truly desperate indeed … this is one of the most anxiety-inducing thrillers I’ve seen in a VERY LONG TIME INDEED, the directors and screenwriters TJ Cimfel and David White (Intruders, VHS: Viral) wringing every ounce of suspense out of each twist and turn the deliriously harrowing narrative drags us through, as well as throwing some skilfully executed rug-pulls on us as they build up to a fraught but deeply cathartic climax. The results are one of the biggest surprises that Netflix managed to spring on me this past year, which is very impressive indeed for what was such a seemingly low-profile release in their 2024 roster, which ultimately just makes this one of those hidden gems that it’s well worth your time to dig up ...

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-5: Psycomedian

Apparently this episode doesn't have anything plot-shaking, it's just a good episode. Clown time!

...This better not be another recap episode.

Yes! Marinette and Adrien are just friends.

Yes! Julerose!

[!@#$]

Alright, I liked that. Marinette was being pretty Candace-coded there. Except that Jeremy plays guitar, is in a band, and has a little sister

Another famous person that lives in Miraculous Paris. Either that or a local celebrity, honestly. Or maybe it's like how Youtubers just live in apartments and the suburbs?

Honestly the French Fry movie sounds like something I'd enjoy. Something so absurd yet so serious you stop laughing partway through and you're just in awe.

He said yes! He said yes!

I'm not sure about that, Mr. Clown, I know some great jokesters that shoot out jokes like crazy with no honking or anything. Maybe it'll help, though.

This is embarrassing.

Bob Roth again?

Oh I get that. I get that so hard.

Another great akuma design! Hawkmoth and the team behind this show can do good clowns.

So she only gets the remap when she summons a lucky charm? Odd.

LOVE the 'eyes drawn on eyelids' trick!

Damn. Ladybug is a powerhouse when pissed.

Pfft Chat carrying a tied up Ladybug making grumbling noises

Get his ass!

They're both so angry! I love it!

Oh. She turned into saltinette. That explains it.

This is probably one of the funniest episodes on the account of angry Ladybug.

I actually really liked that episode! The filler content wasn't too grating, and it was entertaining seeing Ladybug being a hothead! Also Adrien is right. Marinette is pretty funny.

[pierppasolini]

A YEAR IN REVIEW: CREATIONS OF 2023

Post your favorite and most popular post from each month this year (it's okay to skip months).

i was tagged by @anthonysperkins thank you!

JANUARY MOST POPULAR: Female Trouble (1974) // dir. John Waters (35k) FAVORITE: Cruising (1980) // dir. William Friedkin

FEBRUARY MOST POPULAR: James Dean photographed by Sanford Roth, 1955 (1.4k) FAVORITE: Desperate Living (1977) // dir. John Waters

MARCH MOST POPULAR: My Own Private Idaho (1991) // dir. Gus Van Sant (2.6k) FAVORITE: Pink Flamingos (1972) // dir. John Waters

APRIL MOST POPULAR: Buenos Aries Zero Degree: The Making of Happy Together (1999) // dir. Kwan Pun-leung, Amos Lee (2.1k) FAVORITE: Hellraiser (1987) // dir. Clive Barker

MAY MOST POPULAR: The Golden Girls - 2.02 - Ladies of the Evening (9k) FAVORITE: Preppy Summer (1985) // dir. William Higgins

JUNE MOST POPULAR: The Living End (1992) // dir. Gregg Araki (1.2k) FAVORITE: City Hunter ‘91 - The Place Where Gun Smoke Goes: City Hunter Dies at Dawn

JULY MOST POPULAR: Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix photographed by Bruce Weber, 1991 (3.1k) FAVORITE: Il Decameron (1971) // dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini

AUGUST MOST POPULAR: My Adventures with Superman - Zero Day: Part 1 (10k) FAVORITE: The Dukes of Hazzard - 1.07 - Luke’s Love Story

SEPTEMBER MOST POPULAR: The Dukes of Hazzard - 1.10 - Deputy Dukes (6k) FAVORITE: same as the most popular

OCTOBER MOST POPULAR: Evil Laugh (1986) // dir. Dominick Brascia (9.1k) FAVORITE: I racconti di Canterbury (1972) // dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini

NOVEMBER MOST POPULAR: The Dukes of Hazzard - 4.08 - 10 Million Dollar Sheriff: Part 1 (2.8k) FAVORITE: PASOLINI ...

DECEMBER MOST POPULAR: The Golden Girls - 2.11 - ‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas (11k) FAVORITE: The Golden Girls - 2.11 - ‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas (different one from the most popular above)

[alea-says]

Hawaii Five-0, Season 3, Episode 12, my thoughts...

Seriously? It's a frat thing? Uh, maybe it's a cultural thing but I really don't understand American's tolerance of, let alone interest in frats, initiations, etc.

But that's a separate rant...

Why do I feel like this dude still gonna end up dead or something... also, can we say alcohol poisoning?

Okay.. he found a body... he gets to live for now...

Kono is so strong to deal with Sang Min.

Wait. Danny has a young adult nephew?

I agree, Danno, he is acting like a complete idiot.

I'd like to note that Steve and Danny tend to match their outfits. In the previous episode, Steve was wearing a blue t-shirt and Danny a blue shirt.

In this one, Steve's got a light-coloured shirt on over his t-shirt to match Danny's light-coloured shirt.

Okay I already didn't like this chairman dude and now he's not even asking his staff about crying students?

Yes, call him out McDanno!

"Which is why I just never asked" - oh I hope that chairman goes down for something during this. He is terrible. And needs to be fired himself.

Why does Danny's nephew talk like some 90s punk? And remind me of a young Brendon Fraser?

Okay, but is the prof sleeping with the student, or claiming her work as his own? Cos it's hardly ever the first thing they think.

Oh Danny! Calendar photo!

Please note: Chin bursts out laughing. Steve's response is more of a 'woah/wow'. Yes, he smiles, but Steve, are you amused? Or attracted? Or both?

Steve's laughter only comes after he finds out the pic has been emailed to everyone in Danny's address book.

Danny bringing the tough love.

🤣🤣🤣

"Kelly your dads are here"

Seriously? Seriously?!

And Steve! I appreciate that your concern is with being considered old enough to be her father, not with the fact they just assumed you and Danny are together. This show.

"It's a college, it's not a virus. You cannot catch it."

They always gotta run.

Knew Kono Waa gonna head back to the room to find Sang gone.

"Why don't you just admit it, you don't like flying with me?"

"Okay, I don't like flying with you. Have a safe flight."

Danny apologising to his nephew ❤️

But also... kinda suck at the middle bit... the ending was good, though.

Love me some Steve in the jungle.

And Chin. Chin also rocks the jungle hunting look.

Yes! Knew I didn't like Roth!

Of course Roth is on the island with them.

Action time!

I like that they humanise Sang, and give him depth. But also, dude was human trafficking and I'm not sure I'll ever get over that.

Alternate ending...

Bram... yeah, I'd believe that, too.

The cheating kid... bit harder to believe...

I'm glad they went with the ending they did.

[maddiethecanadianassassin]

Jokes! Jokes! Jokes!

A Jacob Frye Drabble - dedicated to @ramshackledtrickster and inspired by their animation!

Tags: Implied relationship, features OC, dancing, party, at a pub, drinking.

Warnings: PG - no major earnings except for decapitating a stuffed dummy

//////

The pub was lively that late afternoon as Jacob Frye and his merry band of Rooks threw a little get together. The company was lovely, the food and drink refreshing, and the entertainment was a laugh. Literally.

One of the Rooks, a natural pianist was going at it on the instrument, his fingers seemed to dance on the keys. His buddies clapped and cheered him on as they each toasted their mugs, drinking and singing along to his tune.

Speaking of performance...

Madeline Shrike sat with the Rooks, a drink in hand as she glanced over to see Jacob practically waltz over to an open area of the pub floor. His Rooks applauded his arrival, hooting, hollering, even some banging their fists on the tables. Madeline reached for her glass, saving it so it wouldn't topple over from all the excitement.

It had been a few months now since Madeline had first joined Jacob Frye and his band of Rooks after first moving to London for a fresh start, a new life outside of the comforts of her family home in Scotland. She had never been on more fulfilling adventures in her life before setting foot in this city, and her heart swelled with pride over the good she had helped take part in to protect the city from the Blighters, especially protecting the young, innocent and unfortunately poor orphaned children forced into horrendous child labor.

She looked at Jacob, seeing his smile, the playful gleam in his eyes. After his last few missions the past couple of weeks, he needed tonight. A well deserved rest and respite. Well. . . maybe minus the rest for now. Definite respite.

Madeline glanced over to see Jacob dragging along a bean bag dummy. He effortlessly lifted it up, its arms flailing in the air as he made it bow in greeting and the Rooks laughed, followed by a cheer. Where Jacob found it, either in a trunk somewhere at her Theatre or buried somewhere in his train hideout, Madeline didn't know.

But if there was a stage prop missing when she'd go into work the next morning, she'd know who to speak to.

Madeline pressed her elbow onto the table, holding her head up with her hand as she rolled her eyes in a teasing manner at the gang leader. Jacob caught the glimmer in her eye, his own eyes dazzling to match his mischievous grin.

He cleared his throat, getting into position.

"The curtain rose, the scene was set They danced a murderous duet~"

His voice projected across the bar as he stepped up onto his stage, twirling around with the dummy before leading it into what looked like a waltz.

"And much deserving blood was let Up to!"

He dipped the dummy down as if he were seducing a woman with his moves before shooting back up right, his eyes going wide as he made a motion with his finger, slicing across his throat.

He tossed the dummy up before grabbing it by the back of its neck, showing it off to his audience.

"The scene wherein they disagreed On who should live and who should bleed?"

Jacob poked at the dummy with an accusing glare before pointing himself before tossing the dummy again, grabbing it by its shoulder and held it in front of his body to shield himself. His fingers wiggled in anticipation before activating his hidden blade, with a flick of his wrist, he sliced the head of the dummy clean off, stuffing falling everywhere on the floor.

That dashingly mischievous grin returned.

"And Maxwell Roth he then received A very bad review~"

The Rooks cheered at the performance, whistling and hollering. Madeline couldn't help it herself as she clapped along with them. Jacob glanced over towards her, taking his top hat in his hand and offering her a performative bow at the waist as the Rooks continued seeing the chorus. Madeline offered him a glimmering smile as she bowed her head in kind.

Jacob approached Madeline's table where Jacob's drink lay waiting for him. He gave her a smile as he reached for his mug and downed another gulp of his drinks. How he was able to drink this stuff like guzzling water, Madeline hadn't had the foggiest.

"You seem quiet," Jacob spoke up, leaning forward slightly to make sure his voice could be heard over the crowd.

"Just tired after a long day is all," Madeline shook her head before giving Jacob a reassuring expression. "I'm alright, Jacob, I'm content sitting on the sidelines and watching you and the Rooks celebrate. You've all earned it. Especially you,"

"Kind words, Miss Shrike," Jacob smiled as he crossed his arms over the table. "I'll admit I was a little nervous. Here I was thinking you'd be a more stern judge of my performance,"

My eyes glanced over to the now decapitated dummy, seeing a group of Rooks playing around with it. They looked like they were playing hot potato with it.

"You played your part flawlessly, Sir Frye," I grinned back at him.

Jacob rolled his eyes at the young woman, though there wasn't any sign of actual hurt in his eyes. "How many times have I asked you not to call me that?"

"It's a title! Why not use it?" She asked him honestly.

If I had been given the title of Dame by the Queen herself, I'd be absolutely beside myself. Madeline thought to herself.

"As my sweat sister has once said, there is a time and place for everything. I'm simply waiting for the right moment," Jacob chuckled softly before taking another sip of his drink.

"And what moment would that be?" Madeline asked curiously.

Jacob looked towards Madeline with an equally curious gaze, his lips twitching into a playful smirk as he pushed himself off from the table. "How about this?"

He walked around to her side, offering her another bow, more. . . posed actually, even for Jacob, "Madeline Shrike," He straightened, offering the Magician his hand. "How would you like to dance with a Sir tonight?"

Madeline's cheeks flushed a light shade of pink at Jacob's playful delivery. She smiled up at him as her petite hands glazed over his black gloved hand. "I'm not much of a dancer, but. . . just this once, Jacob Frye,"

"Just this once," Jacob repeated, nodding his head in agreement.

Jacob gently brought Madeline along to the open floor of the pub, his other arm around her waist. As the Rooks cheered and continued to sing the song, the pair started their dance.

"Jokes, Jokes, Jokes! Make ‘em laugh until they choke~"

Madeline followed Jacob's steps, his movements lively with the music as they danced and laughed together. Madeline couldn't remember laughing this much. She yelped suddenly when Jacob twirled out of his hold before spinning her back into his embrace, sidestepping as part of his chest pressed into Madeline's back.

He had a big grin on his face as he started singing along with the Rooks.

"Fairly slay ‘em in the aisles Maidens fair and Princes charming~"

Her cheeks darkened as Madeline gawked at the man, his mere teasing. Madeline rolled her eyes as Jacob gently spun her back around to face him, his arm finding its way back looping around her waist as they continued their merry dance.

Jacob had always been a tease. A mischievous, playful, devilish tease. But he was also brave, cunning. A man that Madeline was proud to work with and fight alongside to protect London from the Blighters. A great leader, and a good friend.

Although if she was being honest with herself. . .

"Thrills, Thrills, Thrills! Dashing feats and bloody spills And I guarantee You’ll never see The ending coming!"

Madeline miss-stepped and found herself falling back. She shut her eyes, anticipating hitting the harsh floor below. The music stopped, there was chatter among the Rooks, cooling down from the song as she opened her eyes slowly and found Jacob staring back, his face ever so close to her own. He had caught her before Madeline could hit the floor.

Perhaps. . . there was something more?

Jacob slowly pulled her back up right, his free hand moving away from cradling the back of her head. His other arm stayed at her waist as he spoke, "Shall I escort you home, Miss Shrike?"

[flamboyantly-incompetent]

Wish

Spawn!Astarion X ResistedTheDarkUrge!Sorcerer!Drow!Reader (XHalsin)

Summary: after defeating the elder brain, Astarion and Y/N retreat into the underdark to care for the vampire spawn and fix up the arcane tower, still seeking a way for Astarion to walk in the sun

Author's Note: I finally finished my durge x astarion run and then wrote this in a fever afterwards. it's unedited and very self indulgent but I had to. enjoy?

The restoration of the Arcane Tower deep in the Underdark had been finished for a tenday. You’d left the top floors as they were, a watchtower for Bernard and his fellow automaton and a home to share with your lover. The bottom you’d converted to an outpost for the Gur, to keep watch over the thousands of spawn that had been unleashed when Astarion ended Cazador’s reign.

Astarion sat at the head of a long table, swirling a chalice of fresh-spilled blood. Yours, of course. His favorite vintage.

You sat across from him, basking in the bio-luminescence of the mycelium just outside the grand windows, pushing a deep rothe steak around your plate and thinking very hard about what to say.

“Star,” you started.

“Hmm?” he put down the ornate cup and gazed at you, sated. “What is it, darling?”

You fiddled idly with the purple fluorite rings adorning your fingers. “I’ve come across a bit of interesting magic, as it happens.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.” You shifted forward, nervous. “I haven’t tried it yet, haven’t even worked out the kinks, but I think, well, I hope-“

“I haven’t seen you this nervous since facing Orin,” he teased, eyes alight with amusement. “Come on, spit it out.”

“I might, might, have found a solution to your dietary restriction.”

The humor vanished from his face, leaving only hunger, and years of dashed hope. “Really?”

You nodded.

“How?”

“I think I’ll have to wish for it.” He laughed harshly, then waited for you to continue. “I’ve read tales of the weave bending to the will of Sorcerers in times of great peril.”

Skeptical, Astarion countered, “No greater peril than a Netherbrain, my dear.”

“I wasn’t as powerful then. My grip on myself was… thin. Likely because of Orin,” you rolled your eyes. “But now? I feel the Weave more acutely every day. I’m hopeful. We should try, at least. If that’s still something that you want?”

He licked his red tongue over his lips. “I’d be able to walk in the sun?”

You nodded. “And wade through rivers, and break into houses, and maybe even eat real food again. If this works, you won’t be a vampire anymore, spawn or no.”

He thought for a moment, frowning. “I’d be mortal. We’d grow old together, and die someday. Not to mention the other benefits to being a spawn.” You let him puzzle it out and waited patiently. “We’ll have to get more mirrors. I want to know what color my eyes are.”

Astarion stretched his arms out in front of him, sitting nude on your bed, practically purring, with a silken sheet draped over his groin. “I do like when you visit, Halsin. It’s been too long.”

“I agree,” the druid replied, refastening the clasps of his breeches. “This reunion was long overdue. Life has kept me busy.”

You slipped into a dressing gown and pecked him on the cheek. “And how are the children of New Reithwin?”

He grinned. “They’ve been driving Burr-Burr - the owlbear cub you sent to live with us? Absolutely mad. He loves it. I need to find a mate for him, though.”

“Why?” Astarion asked.

“My understanding of owlbears is limited, but he should be sexually mature any day now. He should have the chance to be with his own kind, if he wants it.”

“Ah,” Astarion sighed, “seems like only yesterday we were accidentally murdering his mother with those idiot Absolutists.” You rolled your eyes and thwacked him with a tasseled pillow.

“Anyway,” Halsin continued, chuckling, “the children are hopeful for more baby owlbears to keep as pets. I’ve not yet explained just how much they eat, or how much waste they produce, but why ruin their fun?”

“Well when there are babies we’ll have to come visit,” you said.

“They would love that, as would I.”

“In the meantime, I am starving. Stay for some dinner, won’t you?”

After dinner, Halsin and Astarion gathered around your favorite armchair in the study as you gathered the Weave around yourself. Threads of it felt like golden silk through your fingers as you pulled it from your blood. You looked up at your lovers, hope pooling in their eyes. Your gut twisted with nerves.

“It’ll be alright, darling,” Astarion said.

Halsin placed a large, comforting hand on your shoulder and you steadied yourself.

“I wish,” you started, and the rush of Weave in your hands started to solidify into a spell. It was working. You continued, “for a cure for vampirism.”

The three of you watched with baited breath as the spell’s power was released. Then, Astarion let out a harsh, mirthless laugh.

A wooden stake had materialized in your hands. You gasped and recoiled; the stake clattered to the ground.

Halsin let out a breath. “I take it that was not supposed to happen.”

“No,” you said. “Definitely not. Oh, Star. I’m sorry.”

He pulled you from your chair and folded you into his arms. “I’m alright. Just disappointed, nothing new. Will you be okay?”

You sniffled. “Yes, of course. But I’m not giving up. I still think this could work, I just need to do more research. Maybe,” you paused biting your lip.

Astarion gave you a searching glance. “Why do I get the feeling I won’t like the next thing out of your mouth?”

“Maybe we should ask Gale?”

“Aha.”

“You know he’d come.”

Halsin added, “He is very learned, I’m sure he would be of great help in this matter.”

“Well if Halsin thinks it’s a good idea,” Astarion drawled.

You gave him a look. “Oh don’t give me that. Halsin is right.

“Yes, fine. Invite the wizard.”

Halsin kissed your forehead. “I should get back to New Reithwin.” He kissed Astarion’s brow next. “Give Gale my best. And send for me at once if, well, you know. I’d like to be here.”

Astarion’s frown softened and he shook out the tension in his shoulders. “Thank you, Halsin. Don’t be a stranger.”

Prof. Gale Dekarios, I have a question pertaining to your area of expertise that is of a sensitive nature. If you have a few days to spare at any point in the next few months, we’ll be happy to put you up in the spare room (Tara is, of course, welcome as well). Come whenever you can, just send word of when you expect to arrive so that we may hide the good wine. I kid, I kid. Fondly, Y/N P.S. Astarion says hello. No I don’t. Alright, he doesn’t, but he will be happy to see you, no matter how much he hems and haws.

Y/N! Astarion! I am always happy to be of help. Though your message was most cryptic, you are in luck! Normally I’d need to know which books to pack, but I’ve recently acquired a vintage bag of holding, so my whole library will be at your disposal. I hope it isn’t an intrusion, but my next break of any length is over Candle Nights - is your teleportation circle yet in working order? Never mind, I’ll handle it. Until then, I will be counting the days! Sincerely, Gale Dekarios P.S. I have recently come across an excellent Thayan vintage - very dry, very red. I believe Astarion may like it, being so close to the viscosity of blood and all, so I will bring a bottle or two.

Candle Nights in the Underdark was just as magical as anywhere else. Certain strains of fungi released their golden spores on this night, and as they drifted through the still air, waiting for a rogue wind, they gave the impression of millions of warm, floating candles.

You watched from the top level of the Arcane Tower, arm looped through Astarion’s, as Bernard patrolled. The teleportation circle you’d spent a year preparing was in fact in working order, and you waited for the tell-tale glow that heralded the arrival of your favorite wizard.

Astarion sighed.

“What is it, dearest?”

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking of the city, all a-glow.” There was a touch of despair in his voice.

“Astarion,” you pressed.

“I don’t want to disappoint you, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“If this doesn’t work, I think it may be time to accept nothing will. I don’t think I can keep on hoping for the impossible.”

You squeezed his hand. “Alright.”

“You’re okay with that, then?”

“Of course. We’ve tried so many things. I’d rather the search for a solution not bring you misery.”

The circle began to thrum. Astarion kissed your temple.

Gale appeared a moment later, dressed in traveling clothes with a threadbare bag slung across his back. He grinned at you both. “Hello. Excellent to see you both.” He pulled you into a tight hug, and let Astarion get off with only a friendly handshake. “Oh! As promised,” he pulled two dusty wine bottles out of his bag. “We should crack one of these open, then get down to what’s got you asking for help.”

Astarion made a show of inspecting the label, nodding appreciatively.

You ushered Gale off the roof to show him to the guest room. “I was joking about hiding our good wine, you know.”

“Yes, but it’s Candle Nights! The more wine, the better, I say.”

“You know, Gale,” Astarion said, “I think I actually did miss you.”

“I’ll take the compliment, thank you. Tara thanks you for the invitation, but she hasn’t been shy about looking forward to having some peace for the holiday.” He pulled a chip of wood and a short piece of string from a pouch at his waist and conjured an Unseen Servant that shimmered faintly when it passed in front of a torch just right. He commanded it, “Unpack everything but the books.” Then turned to you, “Let’s get into that wine, shall we?”

Later, Gale sat at the dining table, wineglass in hand, frowning. He plucked the stake off the table with his free hand.

“You were truly able to use the Wish spell?”

“Yes.”

“And this was the result?”

“Yes.”

Astarion added, “Out of thin air.”

“Hmm.” Gale turned the stake over in his hands a few times, then leaned back in the red velvet chair. “I wish you’d sent for me sooner, pun intended. This kind of magic is… complex. But, have no fear! I believe I can assist with this, presuming you’re still able to access the Weave necessary for a second cast?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well,” Gale pressed his fingertips together under his chin, “like I said. This level of complexity… Few arcanists have succeeded in casting, let alone casting twice. We’ll need a few days to prepare.”

Gale had made himself at home in your tower, and your dining table had become a desk fit for a wizard - with room for no less than twelve piles of books. Some histories of Faerûn offered glimpses into the powerful magic’s particulars, Gale asserted, and certain children’s fables touched on wishes gone wrong.

You’d been pouring over them for days. Astarion had found loopholes in all of your suggestions thus far.

“Alright. What about this: a nonlethal, permanent, repeatable, cure for vampirism?” Gale asked, head buried in an open tome.

Astarion sighed. “Sovereign Glue applied to my mouth? I wouldn’t be able to drink blood anymore.”

“But that’s not really a cure, is it? That would just keep you from acting on your existing condition of vampirism.” you countered, forehead resting on the table, arms limp at your sides.

“Huh,” he said.

Another moment passed.

You lifted your head from the table, hopeful. “Have we stumped you?”

“Maybe. I’m thinking.”

Gale put his book down. “Perhaps we should look into what the Weave regularly considers to be a cure. Keep thinking, Astarion. Y/N would you hand me that stack? No, the one - yes. Thank you.” He began sorting through the stack. “We may have to turn to divine magic for the answer, but I should have the account of the Paladin of Lathander… he… um…” You waited while he opened book after book, looking for a specific passage. “I’ve got it.”

“Well?” Astarion pressed. “What does it say? What do you think?”

“I think… I think we may have it.” Astarion let out a sigh and rolled the tension out of his shoulders. “I’d like us to keep thinking on it, and I have a few more sources to check, but,” he clapped his hands together, “tomorrow, I think we may be ready to give it a go.”

“Great!” you said.

Gale stood up. “Now, I need a nap. Or to go to bed? I’ve no idea what time it is, so please just wake me up for the next meal.”

You laughed. “Good night, Gale.”

Gale gave a half hearted wave and disappeared around the arcane elevator. You grinned, giddy, and relocated into Astarion’s lap. He smiled a you, and pulled you in closer.

You asked, “What are you thinking now?”

He groaned, still smiling. “I’m thinking, either way, we’ll have to send Gale a thank you basket of books or something.”

You gasped, hand to your heart. “Star! Are you grateful? Is Gale your friend?”

“Hush, you. You’ve turned me into this, you know. A softie.” He grew quiet, the smile fading from his face. “I’m still afraid, though. Of the disappointment.”

You cupped his face in your hands. “If this doesn’t work, we’ll take a vacation somewhere the city comes alive at night and sleep all day, and then,” you shrugged, “we’ll find something else to do. Maybe we’ll start an Underdark tour company.”

“That sounds nice, actually.”

“Good. Now, my brain feels like mush. Again. So, bed?”

“Mmm, bed.”

The next morning, the three of you sat down to breakfast in silence, until, finally, Gale broke it.

“So,” he began. “Any new thoughts?” Astarion shook his head, staring thoughtfully into his goblet of your blood.

“No,” you answered quietly.

“I haven’t found anything to suggest a double meaning for ‘cure,’ nor any examples in which the targeted disease, poison, or other such thing wasn’t counteracted by the appropriate spell.” Gale took a deep breath. “I think we should give it a go.”

You looked to Astarion. He took a sip, then dabbed daintily at the corner of his mouth.

“Alright,” he said. “I’m ready.”

Filled to the brim with nerves, you stood, hands clasped together to stop their shaking. “Let’s do it.”

You cleared the table of platters and bowls, cups and plates, and took a breath. Astarion took his place at your side while Gale stood across the table from you.

“Remember to speak the incantation exactly,” he said. “If you get a word wrong, let the spell fizzle out, and try again.” You nodded.

Astarion asked, “How will we know if she’s able to use the spell again?”

Gale grimaced. “I’m not sure.”

“I’ll feel it,” you said confidently, “or I won’t.” You closed your eyes, focusing on the feel of the Weave winding around your fingertips, and pulled. “I wish,” you started. Once again, the familiar solidifying of the Weave put weight on your hands, and the relief rushed through you in a wave. You continued, “for a nonlethal, permanent, repeatable, cure for vampirism.”

A cool, hard object with a rounded bottom replaced the weight of the Weave as the spell’s power released. You were too nervous to open your eyes.

Gale’s voice whispered, “It’s a potion?”

“Or poison,” Astarion said dryly.

You forced your eyes open. In your hands was indeed a potion bottle - a round, stoppered flask with a dark, reddish liquid inside. You set the bottle down on the table. Gale reached out tentatively, and pulled it towards him.

“One way to find out. Give me a moment.” He took a few minutes performing a ritual, then looked up, triumphant. “This is, in fact, a potion for curing vampirism.”

Astarion sat down, floored.

“I’ll send for Halsin,” you said, excited.

“Hang on,” Astarion said. “There’s thousands of other spawn down here. Shouldn’t we, oh I don’t know, see if we can save off the recipe or something?”

Gale nodded. “That was one of the thoughts behind adding the repeatable clause.” You sighed and slumped into a dining chair. Gale took a moment to study the potion, holding it up to the light and swirling it around the bottle. “Unfortunately, my alchemical skills are out of practice. You’re not by chance still in touch with the Ironhand gnomes? I’m willing to bet that one of their number may be able to help us.”

“Um, sure.” In truth, you hadn’t kept up with Barcus since Wither’s party. He was a busy gnome. “I believe they’re still in Baldur’s Gate. But, even if they have a gnome to spare, I doubt they’ll make it here before Candle Night’s leave is over for you.”

“Ah, ah,” he said, shaking his finger, “I’ve thought of every eventuality. Don’t move a muscle.” He disappeared into the guest room.

You took the opportunity to glance over at Astarion, sitting next to you. You placed your hand over his, resting on the table. “All right, dearest. What’re you thinking?”

“I’m,” he started, breathy, “excited. And I can’t believe I’m willing to wait another moment, but…” he paused. You smiled as he rolled his eyes. “If we cured even a fraction of the spawn we released, that would solve a number of our problems.”

“It being the right thing to do, unrelated, of course.”

“A coincidence. I can’t understand why you care about them at all, honestly.”

“I don’t,” you admitted, “At least, not in so many words. But, we had to make a choice, and when I looked at them, I saw you.”

Astarion scoffed. “I was, and remain to be, much better groomed than any of them.”

You scooted your chair over to put your head on his shoulder. “You know that isn’t what I mean. But I won’t make you say it.”

“Thank you.”

“But just think. However long it takes to reverse engineer this potion and a day later, we can surrender this tower fully to the Gur and move out of the Underdark. We can set up a permanent residence topside. We could go back to Baldur’s Gate! Or we could go back to Calimshan? Or move in with Halsin in New Reithwin!”

“Darling, I love Halsin as much as you do, but there are so many children there.”

Gale came back around the corner. “There, now, take this.” He handed you a smooth stone; it pulsed with magic when it met your skin. “I have it’s pair. So, if you have questions or need me to take leave again, I’m only a turn of the stone away.”

Gale proceeded to cast a variety of wards on the bottle, muttering contingency plans to himself the entire time, while you wrote a letter to Barcus. In it, you apologized for not reaching out sooner, imparted your well wishes for him and his clan, and gave a quick update on Bernard and the rest of the automaton before getting to the favor you had to ask of him.

Gale was only able to stay two more days, which he spent winning half your gold in Three-Dragon Ante. When he bid you farewell and disappeared in a shimmer via teleportation circle, you still hadn’t heard from Barcus.

The artificer came through, though, and knocked on the main door of the tower within a tenday.

“Barcus!” you said, shocked, when you answered the knocking to his bald head, grinning up at you. “Oh it’s so good of you to come! I was sure you’d be too busy. Let me take that.” He gave up his pack to you and followed you inside.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” he said cheerfully, eyes swiveling about to assess your repairs. “What is it you needed my help with?”

“Well. It’s easier if I just show you.” He followed you into the elevator, up to the residential floor of the tower, and into the dining room, where you carefully extracted the potion from its place without triggering any of Gale’s wards.

Barcus took the potion from your hands. “Hmm. Ah. Oh. Oh.” He handed it back to you quickly. “Is that what I think it is? But, this doesn’t exist. Does it?”

Astarion appeared in the doorway. “That’s what you’re here to find out.”

You gave Barcus the broad strokes of how you’d come to obtain a real, legitimate cure for vampirism. At the end of your speech Barcus nodded slowly.

“And you’d like me to find out what it’s made of?”

“And if you can replicate it.”

Barcus wiggled excitedly. “This is an unprecedented opportunity. I will need a place to work, and I’ll have to send for my centrifuge - unless you have one? No, why would you? Just, erm, one thing?”

“Yes?”

“When, and if, we come up with a working recipe… what do you plan to do with it? I mean. A potion such as this could be invaluable, and, not to overstep, but the Ironhand clan could use the coin to further some of our other experiments.”

You shared a look with Astarion.

He said, “That one there’s got my name on it. Then, there are the spawn down here to consider.”

“Which,” you added, “we’d need someone to make. Perhaps at a discounted bulk rate.”

Astarion continued, “After that, your clan should seek a patent. It could be dangerous, though. If there are any other True Vampires along the Sword Coast, they might want you dead when they hear of this.”

Barcus laughed. “After the horde of mindflayers, I think a vampire and a handful of their lackeys will be a breeze for my gnomes. Don’t you worry about me.”

You grinned and bid Barcus to follow you. “Great. We’ll get you all set up, and let you get comfortable. Dinner’s in about an hour, okay?”

Barcus spent the next few days hunched over a microscope and glued to a pipette while he waited for his centrifuge to be delivered. When three more Ironhand gnomes appeared at your door with the thing in tow, you showed them at once to the guest room Barcus had retrofitted into a laboratory. Then, when Barcus shared what he was working on, they opted to stay to collaborate on some tests. They tried to explain what they were doing to you several times, and you nodded politely as the words went over your head, but they were great company at mealtime. Astarion pretended to be less than pleased.

Finally, a full tenday after Barcus’s arrival, he marched into the dining room and declared, “We’ve done it!”

Later, Astarion stood in front of the ornate mirror in your shared bed chamber, staring into the empty space where his reflection should be. He held the potion bottle, unstoppered.

“Are you still sure? You don’t have to, you know.”

“I know,” he replied.

Halsin smiled. “Whatever you choose, Astarion, will be the right choice.”

Astarion’s mouth twitched up. “Bottoms up.” He tipped the potion into his mouth, ingesting the whole thing in one gulp. He waited, licking his lips. Then, he fell to the ground.

“Star!”

Halsin put an ear to his chest. “He’s breathing - the potion must be taking effect. Here,” he slipped a pillow under Astarion’s head. You knelt next to Halsin as he moved his hands over Astarion’s still body.

“I sense a change. We may just have to wait.”

Wait you did. You thought that maybe his cheeks had taken on a pinkness that hadn’t been there before, but it may have been your imagination.

Astarion coughed. “The hells,” he choked. “What happened?”

“You fainted. Here, slowly now,” you helped him sit up. “How do you feel?”

He paused. “I’m hungry. No - I’m horny. No - wait, no. Hungry again.”

“Hungry for…?”

“Something solid. Ha. Hahaha!” He shot up onto his feet. “It must’ve worked. Tell me it worked. Hang on.” He stopped in front of the mirror, looked at himself - his actual reflection! For a long moment, then began laughing manically.

You shared a concerned look with Halsin.

Astarion whirled around. “Look! My eyes. They’re, they’re blue.”

Everyone you knew and loved, except Lae’zel, who would have to send a projected image from the Astral Plane, was gathered in the square of New Reithwin. The Gur’s leader, Ulma, had received an invitation as well and loitered near the edge of the group.

Shadowheart had brought Scratch, who was chasing Burr-Burr the owlbear, excited to be reunited with friends.

The full force of the sun made you squint, but you powered through, clapping to get everyone’s attention. “It’s so good to see all of you! We have a bit of a surprise…”

“Hang on soldier,” Karlach interrupted. “We’ve got one too.”

Gale smirked and waved his hands, and before you Lae’zel in the flesh revealed herself.

You said nothing, instead you catapulted yourself into her frame and trapped her in a hug. She patted your back patiently. “I thought you couldn’t come,” you said, eyes misting over.

“I’ve needed a vacation. The war is finally turning in our favor, so there would be no better time.”

“Darling?” Astarion sang from inside The Waning Moon. “What’s happening out there?”

“Has Astarion come?” Wyll asked. “Should we move inside, then?”

“No, no,” you said, releasing Lae’zel from your grasp. “That’s the surprise. I present to you, the recently cured, fully elven, no longer vampire nor spawn - Astarion!”

With great relish, Astarion stepped out into the sun.

[kissorkill16]

Fill My Empty Heart: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: After Mya's death, Aaron committed suicide. Mr. Peterson, desperate to have a family again, kidnaps the depressed and heartbroken child across the street, Nicky Roth.

Chapter 18

Trinity was listening to the radio in the kitchen.

"Good afternoon, Raven Brooks. Lovely weather we're having today! No more rain, just cloudy skies."

"That's nice.", thought Trinity.

It's been weeks since they've continued their plan of making Mr. Peterson go crazy, and nothing seemed to be working! All of their attempts failed when he just kept a calm demeanor.

And not only that, but his rules were getting out of control too. Not only were the kids not allowed to go outside, but he wouldn't allow the kids to open the curtains so they wouldn't even think about going outside.

It's been really rough for the kids.

"It's been three weeks since a group of kids went missing in Raven Brooks. The kids names were Trinity Bales, Enzo and Maritza Esposito, and Ivan Torre. Their parents said that the children told them that they were just going to a sleepover and would be back in the morning, but they never returned. Police continue to search for the children as we speak."

"Trinity, honey! Is that the radio?"

Trinity jumped up and immediately shut off the radio as Mr. Peterson stepped into the kitchen.

"Sorry, Dad. I was trying to play music.", she said.

"It's alright, dear.", said the man. "But why don't we turn off the radio for a while until they're done with the news."

The girl nodded and walked out of the living room, stomping her foot on the floor as she walked up the stairs.

Later that night, Mr. Peterson was tucking Nicky into bed, and then Nicky asked a question.

"Why did you take me?"

Mr. Peterson stilled in place. "What do you mean, darling?", he asked.

"Why did you take me?", Nicky asked again. He knew he was probably risking his freedom right now, but he just wanted the man to answer him honestly. "I had parents, and I had friends, and you just took me away from them. Now you took them away from their families. Why?"

Mr. Peterson looked at Nicky for a minute, and Nicky hid himself under the blanket. But instead of scolding or growling, Mr. Peterson just sat on the edge of the bed.

"Because...Nicholas, you were so close with my children.", he said. "Aaron and Mya loved you like you were their brother. Everywhere I saw them, you were with them.", he let out a small laugh. "Diane almost saw you as her own son, and I remember her asking me once if I ever thought about having a third child."

Nicky laughed a little and sat up.

"When I lost them all, I was beyond destroyed. My wife, my son, my daughter, they all died. Taken from me and leaving me all alone.", said Mr. Peterson, "My family was very important to me, Nicholas, and I could see that Aaron and Mya were very important to you too."

Nicky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Mr. Peterson sighed and put a hand on Nicky's shoulder, "Aaron's funeral, you screamed and you cried. You didn't want to believe that he was gone, and neither did I. No one understood the pain you felt, no one except me, because I felt it too.", he said. "I isolated myself from the outside world, I was scared of lashing out at others and hurting innocent people. But you were already so broken inside, and you were already lashing out at the people you loved."

Nicky's eyes widened as he flashed back to all of the times where he was angry at the world for taking Aaron and Mya away, where he lashed out at his parents, his friends, and other people at school.

He was a nightmare out there.

He thought that they were all pretty happy that he killed himself.

Nicky felt tears fall down his cheeks.

"Nicholas?"

Before he knew it, Nicky began to cry and bury his face in his hands.

"They're all happy to know I'm dead.", said the boy, "I was a monster out there, and now that I'm gone, they're all probably -"

Mr. Peterson gently pulled Nicky onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him.

"Stop it. Don't say that, young man.", he said sternly. "Your family and friends still love you. If they didn't, do you think that your disappearance would've made it to the news? Do you think that your friends would be trying to drive me crazy just so I'll throw you all out?"

Nicky began to relax in the man's hold.

"You are loved, Nicky. Even if you haven't been the easiest to deal with, your friends and your family still love you very much.", said Mr. Peterson. "And I know it'll be hard for me to do this, but to prove it to you...tomorrow, I'm letting all of you go."

Nicky's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Really, Nicholas.", said the man. "Your family would be so happy to know you're alive, and the same goes for all of your friends."

Hearing this, Nicky smiled and wrapped his arms around Mr. Peterson.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Peterson!"

Mr. Peterson smiled warmly and gently patted the boy on his back. He knew it would be hard, but he knew he had to do this. It was the right thing to do, and Nicky needed to know that he's still loved.

"You're welcome, Nicholas."

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Troublemaker

Directory | Anansi

She was normally a busy woman, but today looked to be even busier than normal.

“Down, Fang! Uh, I need an assortment of macarons, please,” she told to the hotel worker that had come at her request.

“Oui, Mlle. Penny,” Armand replied, as she realized she was still talking on the phone.

“No, not you,” she apologized, “please confirm that red-eye flight–”

“Hey, I got the perfect way to market the new album!”

And, of course, she just couldn't relax at all, as Jagged's manager suddenly showed up out of the blue, not even bothering with a call.

“Bob, I don't think–” she tried to say, but Bob Roth, being what he was, ignored her.

She rushed back to the main room, knowing that a fight was about to take place.

“Seriously?! You want me on Rockstar Wants a Wife?! That show's the opposite of rock'n roll!”

“That's what sells, Jagged!”

Yeah, they were now throwing stuff at each other.

“I'll call you back,” she said, hanging up and running in before they broke something that ended up costing them even more bills from the hotel.

She grabbed Jagged before he could throw a football at Bob,

“Jagged, what about–” and she told him the idea that had just sprung in her mind, from one of the shows she had watched last week. His demeanor instantly changed, and he dropped the ball to hug her.

“Such a rock'n roll idea!” he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “You're the best Penny!”

She loved it whenever he got like this, all happy and romantic and–

“Ugh, don't be saps right in front of me.”

And that was when she was reminded what she hated of Bob Roth.

----

She was normally a busy young lady, but today looked to be even busier than normal.

“C'mon, Manon, give it back! The deadline's tomorrow and I still have homework to do!” she begged.

The little girl, who clearly didn't understand the concept of being good for once, just laughed as she jumped around her room, wearing the hat she had been crafting.

“You look stressed, My Queen,” Pollen whispered from her hideyhole in her hair.

“I got double booked again!” she complained. “I've become so scatterbrained since taking on more as Marigold.”

And it had been a mess ever since. Between collège work, her class president duties, designing, helping at the bakery, babysitting, and now heroism, she barely even had the time to plan out how to do everything else!

Just then, her cellphone rang, and she briefly stopped her attempts to corner Manon to check.

“Huh?” The image on the phone was completely unexpected. “O-Oh my God, it's Jagged Stone's manager!”

As she picked up, she took advantage of Manon's distraction to finally grab the hat off the girl's head.

“Marinette! Phone!” Manon begged, but she ignored it.

“H-Hello?”

“Marinette?”

“Yes!”

“It's me, Penny Rolling!”

“Hi, Mlle. Penny!”

“Look, can you ask your parents something?”

“Huh?”

“I need to know if they want to show up in a TV show with Jagged.”

“A TV show?”

----

“Welcome to 'Fill My Shoes'! With our guest, the one and only, Jagged Stone!”

“Rock'n roll!” the rockstar exclaimed.

“Filling the shoes... of a baker!”

It hadn't taken Penny much to convince Tom and Sabine to allow the program to film (live, much like every other TVi program) on their bakery, and right now Tom was taking charge of showing how things were run in there, while Sabine brought out a platter full of croissants for the people coming for the program.

“Would you like a hot croissant?” she asked.

Bob Roth picked one and ignored the baker, not even bothering to thank her.

The cameraman just ignored her.

“Rude bunch, aren't they?” Sabine asked her daughter, who had decided this was the perfect occasion to wear her best uniform.

“C'mon, Maman, they're just busy,” Marinette mollified her. “Just think of what this'll do for the bakery!”

The iron grip of Sabine Cheng's right hand quickly held around Marinette's cheeks and jaw.

“It's rude to turn down hot food from your hostess!” she irately replied.

“Y-Yes, 媽媽,” Marinette mumbled back.

Meanwhile, Jagged Stone had picked up a large baguette, a croissant and a pair of other things from the counter and was holding them together in a particular form.

“Check out my edible guitar!” he joked, as he mimicked playing an electric guitar, singing. “Flour~! Eggs and butter~!”

Penny – who was holding onto Fang – laughed, causing the Cheng ladies to turn to her.

“Seems like working with Jagged Stone is fun,” Sabine noted, and Penny nodded.

“He's wonderful!” the aide replied, her cheeks blushing. “Never a dull moment, such creative ideas, always thinking of his fans, always pays his child support in time–”

“Wait, Jagged has kids–?”

“You didn't hear that,” Penny said, her demeanor now rock solid and calm, as she moved the pages on her clipboard until she found something she showed the women. “Also please sign this NDA.”

----

As Adrien sat down, table with cheese for his Kwami companion ready, said Kwami companion turned to him.

“There's no cheese on this show, why are you watching it?” Plagg asked through the Camembert piece he was already inhaling.

“They're filming at Marinette's place!” Adrien replied, just as the camera turned to look precisely at the girl he liked so much.

“Yo, Marinette, my favorite little lady! Get on stage with us!” Jagged Stone said to a surprised Marinette, who looked somewhat uncomfortable as she waved back.

“Uh?! Oh, heheh!” she awkwardly said as Mme. Cheng encouraged her to step forward.

“Marinette's really talented, you know! She made the cover of my last album!” the singer declared, while Adrien just drank in the wonderful, wonderful appearance of his friend-slash-crush-slash-love-of-his-life.

“Omigod, her widdle uniform!”

----

“Impressive! A family of artists!” Alec Cataldi declared.

“Tch!” Chloé grumbled, clearly not getting what she wanted once more.

For a moment, it looked like she might, when Marinette accidentally threw a bag of flour at Jagged Stone's head... but then the rock'n'roll singer smiled.

“Hey, look! I'm a ghost! Rock'n boo!” Jagged said, and then he tackled Alec, who was smiling as well.

“We'll be back after the break.”

“BOO!” Jagged said again as the transmission turned to commercials.

“Ugh, I only wanted to watch this dumb show to see Dupain-Cheng mess up, not to hear her praises!” Chloé complained, as was her wont whenever she didn't get what she wanted.

“But Chloé, don't you remember?” Tikki said, eager to needle her bearer.

“What?”

“It's thanks to you that Jagged Stone even met Marinette!”

Chloé immediately put her hands to her face as she tried to forget how she had helped the person she most hated in the world.

“Nooooo! Don't remind me!”

----

Back at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, Penny managed to impose some sort of order and pulled a whistling Jagged away from Alec.

“Where's the bathroom?” Penny asked Marinette, who pointed to the stairs.

“Upstairs!”

“Merci!” she replied, leading her charge.

However, they didn't notice that they were going too far upstairs until they reached a place that was very clearly not a bathroom.

“Uhh, I think we went too far up,” Penny said, as they looked around the place they had arrived. Jagged, however, had other things in mind.

“This must be her bedroom! Cool!” he said, as he started to check things.

“Oh, a sink!” Penny noted, taking the rag she had been loaned by Marinette's mother and wetting it before brushing off the flour off Jagged's hair.

“Penny, look! Marinette's seriously talented!” Jagged stated, looking at what was clearly a set of designs made by Marinette.

“U-huh.” Penny felt awkward, as she realized they were intruding into Marinette's personal space, which was something they really shouldn't be doing.

Jagged did not have the same epiphany, however,

“This one would look great on you!”

“Focus on getting back to set!”

Unfortunately for everyone involved into the matter, other people had different ideas in mind.

“Returning live with Jagged Stone 'Filling the Shoes' of a baker!” Alec declared, followed by the camera crew as they also entered Marinette's room in total disregard of her intimacy. “Let's see if our rockstar got rid of his flour!”

Before she could tell them off for it, though, Jagged played it off for the cameras and pointed at one of the walls.

“Hey, there's more pics of Chat Noir than me!” he joked. “Marinette, you got a thing for Paris' coolest cat?”

----

Back in the Agreste Mansion, one Adrien Agreste had something to say to that.

“YES!”

----

Back at the Dupain-Cheng's home, one Marinette Dupain-Cheng had a very different opinion of the matter.

“NO!” she shouted, embarrassed that her room was being bared to the entire world.

----

Back again at the Agreste Mansion, in a secret underground floor, Paris' supervillain gasped.

Then, Hawkmoth realized something.

“Wait, why am I gasping, I already knew that.”

----

“GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” Marinette yelled with the righteous fury of someone who had seen her intimacy violated in such a way.

Particularly when she was seeing Alec Cataldi picking and wearing the half-finished hat she had been working on earlier, as if it were in the wardrobe of his studio instead of someone else's room.

“Hey, Marinette! Want me to sign my poster?” Jagged, who once more showed a lack of ability to read the room, asked.

“I WANT YOU OUT!” Marinette yelled again, turning to the camera crew. “AND YOU! STOP FILMING! What is WRONG with you?!”

----

“Penny, do something!”

Oblivious to (or, more likely, interested in seeing) Marinette's distress, Chloé just munched on popcorn.

----

“You all heard the lady–!” Penny declared as she pushed Bob Roth away, but in process someone pulled on the cord connecting the camera to the transmission equipment.

“Penny, you cut the feed!” Alec admonished her.

“Uh–”

“Wait, get out first!” Marinette demanded as she opened her trapdoor again.

“Penny, give me the cord!”

“ACHOO!” Jagged sneezed. “Penny, I need a tissue!”

“C'mon, we're live!”

“PLEASE LEAVE ALREADY!”

“ACHOO!”

It felt like a pressure cooker in the room.

Something had to give.

And this time...

“EVERYBODY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

… it was the overwhelmed Penny.

Everybody silently filed down, out of Marinette's room, and as she closed the trapdoor Bob Roth chose to make his personality shine once more.

“What do we do now?” he asked, unconcerned.

“Film in the bakery, like you're supposed to!” Penny yelled as she opened the closest door, pen in the other hand. “Try to survive for five minutes.”

And, entering what appeared to be a library room, she slammed the door, collapsing on the ground with a long, stressed sigh, as she attempted to regain control over herself.

----

“Oh, bless up. I don't have to akumatize the girl,” Hawkmoth said as he commanded the butterfly to go for the older woman. “That's just begging for Chat Noir to show up at my door.”

----

Pollen carefully approached her Queen, who was shrunk against the wall, shaking from both anger and shame.

“My Queen, let's just talk it out, okay?” she gently said.

“They showed my Chat Noir photos, my half-finished dresses, and my month-old designs!” It didn't look like she was ready to 'talk it out'. “My fashion career is ruined! I should've burned those old designs!”

“That's simply not true!” Pollen said. Her Queen shouldn't have to destroy such wonderful things! “Jagged Stone loved them!”

“If Chat Noir sees, he'll know I'm in love with him!”

“You think so?” she asked, not sure of what was wrong with that.

----

Plagg had had many types of bearers. Some good, some bad. And sometimes just a bit irritating.

And Adrien, who was normally the best, now was approaching that last category.

“Should I go see her?! No, no, it's too soon. I should order roses! Should I get red this time?!”

“Ugh.”

Seriously, why did his kittens have to become lovesick?

----

As soon as the crew and guest went back downstairs, Bob Roth found himself under the glares of the bakery's owners, but he couldn't care less about them.

“Alright, back to work!” he ordered.

“No! We want to stop!” Tom Dupain replied.

“WHAT?!”

“We agreed to film in the bakery, not in our private home!” Sabine Cheng said, full of righteous anger. “And now you've upset our daughter! Completely unacceptable!”

“The ratings are blowing up, we're not stopping now!” Roth replied, unconcerned by the legitimate demand.

As an answer, Sabine picked up the bakery shovel and glared at the manager.

“YOU WANT TO START SOMETHING, M. BOB?!” she challenged, all too ready to go medieval on the unscrupulous man.

“Huh?” Said man was clearly unaware of the danger about to be unleashed on his person.

“I DEMAND YOU APOLOGIZE!”

However, before Bob Roth could actually awaken to the fact he was about to have a close encounter with the wooden implement, the outside doors were locked up.

“Ah, the doors!” Tom shouted, having easily recognized the beeping sound.

“You could've told us the bakery was haunted!” Bob Roth begged, sweating out of his brow.

“Uh, it's not!” Tom replied – only for one of their flour bags to start flying around covering everything in white dust.

“Ahh!” Sabine shouted in shock.

“What is happening?!”

And, with no warning, the answer showed up right behind Jagged Stone, in the form of a woman with a long mohawk, heavily painted-on face, and a total lack of damns to give about anything.

“Hey.”

“WAAAAAHH!” the singer screamed. Then again, the man had a reason for it – the Akuma had not even had the decency to warn him!

“There's no more Penny to solve your problems, Jagged! The untouchable Troublemaker will make sure you have nothing but problems!” the Akuma declared, clicking on her pen twice.

----

“Poor Penny was so busy trying to save everyone that she became a target for Hawkmoth!” Pollen noted, worried about the gentle woman.

“Good thing I'm here to save her!” Marinette stated. “Buzz On!”

----

“Oh! Look! Akuma at the bakery! Gotta go!” Adrien exclaimed, while Plagg rolled his eyes.

“I can tell you're real choked up about it,” he remarked.

----

“C'moon, Chloé, let's goooo!” poor Tikki said, pushing Chloé to stand up.

“Ughhhh.”

Chloé wasn't exactly interested in moving from her seat.

----

It only took Chat Noir a few minutes to reach his goal, Tom & Sabine's Boulangerie, aided by his memorizing of the best way between his home and Marinette's home, and acrobatically landed right on the red carpet that had been laid down for the program.

“Hi everyone!” he greeted Mme. Chamack and those who had already arrived to check what was going on. “Stand aside, this'll be a piece of cake–”

“Or you could try the door!” he heard his partner exclaim, and as he looked up, he saw her standing near the terrace Marinette liked to use.

“Marigold!”

“H–Hey, Chaton!”

He reached her in just the two jumps, and smiled, noticing that she looked a bit nervous.

“You sure got here fast!” he commented, deciding that it probably was nothing.

“O–Oh, you too!” Marigold replied, and he realized what was happening.

“You must've been watching the show too!”

----

Marigold turned so Chat Noir couldn't see her distraught face.

NOOOO! He saw it!

Why couldn't he have been watching sports or cartoons?

Regardless of her desire to just let the earth swallow her up, they had to deal with the Akuma, so she opened the window and led Chat Noir into her bedroom. Which, unfortunately, brought him next to the reason for her embarrassment.

“Wow, I didn't notice the photos of me the last time we were here!”

Why can't you keep not noticing? she wondered, really hoping that the Akuma would show up and allow herself to be dealt with fast.

She quickly got half of her wish, as Troublemaker came through the floor and threw a cushion at her, which she just barely dodged.

“HA!”

“AH!”

“Look here!” Chat Noir exclaimed... grabbing a photograph. “Hey, what do you think this means, huh? All these pictures–”

While he looked super-adorable with his cheeks blushing and wide-open eyes, Marigold knew that this was not the moment for this, so she just put a hand over his mouth.

“I think you should pay attention!”

As Chat Noir gingerly dropped the photo he had picked up, Marigold pulled out her top and swung it at Troublemaker, who clicked her pen.

And, much to her shock, the top went through her and hit the wall before bouncing back.

“She goes intangible!” Chat Noir realized. “So troublesome!”

“Vanisher knock-off!” Marigold shouted, pulling the top back towards her.

“Touch me if you can. Bye~” Troublemaker taunted them, before falling through the floor and out of their sight.

“The Akuma's in her pen!” It was the most obvious solution, given how she kept clicking it, turning her intangibility on and off.

“Fat load of good it does us without Scar!” Chat Noir complained.

“Where is she?!”

----

“Can I get five more of these blonde bitches?” Scarlet Lady said, showing the small popsicle made resembling her, but in a cartoony style. As expected, they were the best ones of the lot!

----

As both of them tried to keep an eye on where Troublemaker might come from, Chat Noir noticed something coming from behind Marigold, and turned to see the Akuma getting her hands close to the Bee Comb.

“Look out!” he yelled, swinging his staff at her. “Swiper, no swiping!”

Marigold tripped trying to dodge, but at the same time it forced Troublemaker to back off from her.

“Grrr,” the Akuma growled, clicking her pen again and falling through the floor again.

“T–Thanks, Chaton!”

“Careful, Goldie, you've got the easiest to remove Miraculous!” Chat Noir warned her, giving out a chuckle. “Maybe you should glue it down.”

Marigold felt the epiphany coming, and picked him by his face, sparkling.

“Chat Noir, you're a genius!”

“Wha, what'd I say?”

----

Marigold quickly explained her idea, and picked up a bottle of heavy-duty glue she normally used for holding stuff together in her practice designs, asking Chat Noir to help her cover her comb with it.

Just in time, though, as Troublemaker dropped from the ceiling on top of Marigold.

“Hahaha!”

“AH!” Marigold screamed in shock.

“Good Lord!” Chat Noir joined, just as Troublemaker fell on Marinette and trapped her against the floor.

But, when the Akuma went on to pull the comb away, she found that she couldn't force it.

“Huh–?! What?! Why won't this budge?!” she exclaimed, tugging the magical comb without success.

“Looks like you're stuck,” Marigold said with an impish grin, before readying her weapon. “Venom~”

“NO–!”

But it was too late: Troublemaker had been too slow to react, and the paralyzing effects of Marigold's power had quickly taken a hold of her. Chat Noir grabbed the Akumatized object.

“Everything goes smoothly when I stick with you, Honeybee,” he said, smiling.

Marigold was not smiling, though.

“Help, I glued it to my hair tie, I can't move!”

Helping his partner stand up – even with dealing with the dead weight of Troublemaker – he pulled his staff again.

“Alright, let's see what's keeping the royal pain,” he said, calling Scar.

Immediately, both of them heard a very familiar music tone right above them.

Chat Noir marched off to the trapdoor that led to the terrace, and slammed it open – to see Scar laying down on Marinette's chaise-lounge without a care for the world.

His temper frayed up quickly.

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?!”

“WAH–!”

----

Fortunately, it only took a push for Chat Noir to force Scarlet into the bedroom (even if Marigold would rather keep her at least one kilometer away from there) and then a move to snap the pen, freeing the Akuma and allowing Scarlet to fix everything up.

As Penny woke up and realized where she was, she looked up to them.

“W–What happened? Where's Jagged?” she asked, and Marigold smiled at her.

“Stuff Jagged,” she replied. “How are you?”

“I... I let myself get stretched too thin. I took on too much,” the young woman realized. “I should remember to look after myself too. I'm fine now.”

“I'm a pro at self-care,” Scarlet declared. “Just buy yourself a diamond phone case! You'll feel better.”

“Uhh...” Penny mumbled, unable to understand where the girl was coming from.

As for Marigold, she figured it explained so much about Scarlet's attitude.

----

As they sent Penny downstairs, the heroes came out to the terrace and gazed upon Paris after saving the day once more (well, at least two thirds of them did).

And one of them looked up to the sky, thinking over the previous conversation.

“Stretched too thin, huh...” Marigold mumbled.

“You say something?” Chat Noir asked, and she shook her head.

“Oh, no, nothing,” she answered.

“Hm.” Then he took on a quizzical look. “I hope Marinette is okay.”

“EEP!”

“I wonder where she went.”

“Probably in a hole, dying of embarrassment! Ha Ha ha!” Scarlet laughed, and Marigold had to hold back her rising murderous intentions.

I'd rip your Earrings off if there weren't reporters nearby, she ruthlessly thought.

----

By the time Penny came back to the bakery, everything was fixed up, everyone was calming down, and Bob Roth looked as unconcerned with what he had indirectly caused as with everything else.

“U–Um, hello everyone,” she said.

“PENNY!” Jagged Stone shouted, quickly walking up to his aide. “I'm so glad you're back to normal! I'm sorry I didn't notice I was driving you so hard.”

The worry and sorrow in his voice were sincere, so much that Penny knew the man(-child) in front of here was being truthful in his apology, so she thought she could forgive him.

“Jagged...”

Jagged pulled her between his arms, hugging her with strength and care, as he spoke into her ear.

“I'll look out for you like you look out for me,” he promised, and she basked into the feeling as she nodded.

“Mm.”

“Also, the mohawk was hawt.”

Good feelings gone.

“I am not shaving my head for you.”

“Damn.”

----

With the TV crew finally on their way out (and some copious buying of produce as apology for the chaos they had caused) the Dupain-Cheng family was finally left alone to deal with the aftermath.

Which was when Marinette decided she needed to bring out the thing that had been on her mind since Penny's comment.

“Maman, Papa, I need to talk to you about something,” she said, fidgeting in place.

“Okay...?” Papa asked, confused.

“I... I...” she stumbled, but then she took a deep breath. “I need you to ask before volunteering me to babysit! And I can't drop everything to help in the bakery! I–I mean, I'll still help out, I just need notice! With Jagged promoting me, I've gotten real busy, on top of being class pres–”

“Okay,” Papa replied.

“Huh?!” she said, her tirade breaking in the middle, much to her confusion.

“Sure, no problem,” Maman added.

“Seriously?! It was that easy?!”

----

Now that they were back at home, Plagg was attacking a piece of cheese with his usual enthusiasm, while Adrien just laid down on his couch, taking a break after the recent crisis.

“Not gonna visit your lady love?” Plagg teased him, but he knew not to fall for that bait.

“After everything, I don't want to overwhelm her. And I thought more about it...” he replied, smiling at the thought of the girl he loved. “If it were me, that's not how I'd want Marinette to learn I'm in love with her. She should confess the way she wants to.”

Just as his phone dinged with a message, he heard Plagg chuckle.

“Pretty presumptuous, aren't you.”

“IF! If she's in love with me!” he corrected himself, embarrassed, before checking his cellphone. “Huh, a message from Alya...?”

----

The next day, Marinette carefully snuck around the school, because she really didn't want to deal with her friends' reaction to the previous day's events.

The fact that she had come much earlier than usual helped.

“Thank God no one's here,” she whispered as she reached her locker.

“Hey, Marinette.”

“AHHH!” she screamed, lamenting that she had been proven wrong so quickly. “How do you do that?!”

Much worse, Adrien ignored the question.

“So...”

“Don't,” she warned him.

“Um–”

“Do not.”

“... about the photos.”

“AHHH!” she shouted, covering her ears and turning around so Adrien wouldn't see her blush. “You said it!”

Adrien patiently waited for her to calm down, and when she did, she decided she needed to keep him from getting ideas.

“It's not what you think, okay?! I... I'm not in love with Chat Noir!”

“HRK!” she heard Adrien squeak, even as she dealt with the fact that she had just dropped a big fat lie.

“Besides, it's too dangerous to be with a superhero while supervillains are still around,” she explained. “So, Chat Noir and I are just...”

She couldn't say it.

“He's just...”

She tried to force it out.

“He's just a frie– HRK!”

Oh, great, now she had blood coming out of her mouth.

----

Meanwhile, Adrien was having something else in mind, linked to his highly developed list of priorities.

I HAVE TO DEFEAT HAWKMOTH A.S.A.P!

----

Their moment was interrupted by the usual suspect.

“Wow, gutsy of you to show your face, Dupain-Cheng!” Chloé yelled. “If I just showed all of Paris I had the world's biggest crush on the world's biggest loser, I wouldn't leave my room until I was 50!”

“Ugh,” Marinette growled, wishing she could just throw a flour sack on her face.

“The only loser here is you, Chloé,” Alya declared as she arrived on scene.

“Ridiculous!” Chloé shouted, but Marinette didn't care, not when she saw what her friends were doing.

“Chat Noir is dead even with Scarlet Lady in the popularity polls,” Alya added, leading the class in wearing Chat Noir-themed clothes and accessories.

“WHAT?!” Chloé yelled again, completely unable to comprehend that people liked the true hero of Paris above that lazy glory hog.

“Y–You guys, what–?” Marinette asked, but Alya interrupted.

“WHAAAAT? We're just showing our Chat Noir love, same as you!”

Then she leaned to whisper in her ear.

“I convinced most of them it's just a celebrity crush and the rest are covering for you,” she said. “This'll get people off your back!”

She straightened up again, and put a hand to her cheek.

“The poor Kit-Kat doesn't get the recognition he deserves, doncha think?”

Marinette felt like crying. Her best friend was so wonderful!

“Oh, Alya!” she exclaimed.

“You're right, he doesn't!” Adrien exclaimed... also crying.

“Why are you so emotional?” Alya asked, confused.

----

As everyone else filed into the room, Alya pulled Adrien aside to check on something very important.

“Adrien, my dude, my guy, my spot of sunshine.”

“Y–Yes?” Good, he knew he was in trouble.

“You were supposed to wear Chat Noir stuff in solidarity. Did you understand the assignment?”

“Now, see, I have a very good explanation for that.”

“Mhm?” It better be a good explanation. Or else.

“My dad is Gabriel Agreste.”

“... ah.”

Alright, he gets a pass.

----

Intermission 2

@zoe-oneesama Here's to someone making enough trouble for Gabriel Agreste to ruin his plans!

Also: 420 pages, 167435 words, 902000 characters.

[grigori77]

Movies of 2024 - My Summer Rundown (Part 2)

10.  BOY KILLS WORLD – Turns out this was a really GREAT SUMMER for action cinema, and the first genre entry here is EXACTLY what you’d expect from the true master of anarchic movie mayhem, Sam Raimi, here producing the feature debut of ambitious young German visual effects artist-turned writer-director Moritz Mohr.  The newcomer’s crazy PERFECTLY compliments our veteran’s crazy, because this is like if The Raid movies had been made by Don Coscarelli (see John Dies At the End for reference) – basically a geeky love letter to classic 90s 16-bit beat-‘em-up video games, it follows the bizarre misadventures of Bill Skarsgard’s “the Boy”, a traumatised deaf-mute orphan raised and trained to become a lethal living weapon by a mysterious (and genuinely WEIRD) jungle shaman (The Raid’s own Yayan Ruhian) in order to avenge his family’s brutal murder at the hands of the Van Der Kroys, the bloodthirsty organised crime family holding their dystopian city under a cruel thumb of violent oppression.  The film has been described as a “fever dream”, and honestly that’s a pretty accurate assessment – this is a COMPLETELY FUCKING MENTAL film, frequently spiralling off on surreal flights of fancy as its already pretty bonkers plot starts to unravel in truly WEIRD directions, but thankfully this adds to the unique charm a lot more than it ever threatens to alienate the viewer, sticking to JUST the right side of satirical parody while delivering a consistently winning line of jet black comedy.  Besides, the MAIN attraction here is EXACTLY what most viewers come to this kind of film for, and Mohr EASILY delivers in this venue – the action sequences are INCREDIBLE, flawlessly executed even as they frequently become as downright INSANE as every other aspect of the film, and without pulling ANY punches to deliver some of the year’s most gratuitously GRAPHIC blood-and-guts.  Skarsgard is, like always, thoroughly BRILLIANT throughout, effortlessly proving what an incredibly expressive physical actor he can be since he never speaks a word throughout the entire film … but that doesn’t mean the Boy doesn’t get his point across just fine, the film delivering a pretty ingenious conceit by having him speak to us through his “inner monologue”, using the announcer voice from his favourite arcade game when he was a child (voice actor extraordinaire H. Jon Benjamin, star of Archer, Bob’s Burgers and Dr Katz, Professional Therapist).  Then there’s the top-notch supporting cast, featuring the likes of Michelle Dockery, Stranger Things’ Brett Gelman, Sharlto Copley and Famke Jansen as the uniformly despicable Van Der Kroys, Jessica Rothe (Happy Death Day and its sequel) as their lethal enforcer June 27, and Andrew Koji (Warrior, Snake Eyes, Bullet Train) as Basho, the affable oddball resistance fighter the Boy befriends and enlists into his crusade along with Benny (the Old Spice Man himself, Isaiah Mustafa), a mighty warrior with a thick beard and moustache who provides some of the film’s biggest belly-laughs (for reasons it’s best for you to find out for yourselves, trust me).  Relentlessly ridiculous, unflinchingly messy and frequently laugh-out-loud hilarious, this is definitely one of the year’s most unapologetically ODD films, but also definitely one of the most FUN too, as well as a spectacular showcase for the talents of a VERY fresh new filmmaking talent who is doubtless destined for great things in the future.  Just be forewarned, it definitely AIN’T one for the faint-of-heart or weak-of-stomach …

9.  THE MINISTRY OF UNGENTLEMANLY WARFARE – Once again Hollywood is making it ABUNDANTLY clear they just DON’T LIKE Guy Ritchie any more, and I have NO IDEA WHY … despite 2020’s The Gentleman becoming a modest box office hit and signifying what many considered a triumphant return to form for the man who brought us the likes of Snatch, RocknRolla and the Sherlock Holmes movies (although personally I never thought he actually really fell off, despite what Swept Away and Aladdin might have made us think), his subsequent releases all got largely BURIED online – granted, some of it was down to COVID, but even after everything started to get back to normal the inexplicably disrespectful treatment continued, with Wrath of Man and The Covenant, both impressively well-executed and evocative cinematic features in their own rights, getting released straight to streaming with frustratingly little fanfare to drum up the attention they clearly deserved.  At least this one made it into theatres, but with a lacklustre advertising campaign and stiff competition from much more high profile fare it sank like a stone, almost like Lionsgate didn’t even WANT IT to succeed.  Even worse, for some unbelievably stupid reason it didn’t even RELEASE

in the UK, meaning I had to wait until it subsequently hit Amazon for me to finally get to check it out.  The most frustrating part, though, is that the critics CLEARLY feel the same as I do about the film we actually received – this is a TOP DRAWER piece of work, further proof that Ritchie never actually LOST a step, another genuine belter of a flick which takes a brilliant premise and crafts an offbeat and deliciously entertaining cinematic caper than really deserved to be seen by a really big audience on a proper big screen.  Taken from Winston Churchill’s declassified WWII files, it follows the true life exploits of special forces commando Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) as he put together a covert team in order to execute a highly classified raid on a German U-boat outfitting operation in the hopes of crippling the subs long enough to help bring the Americans into the War.  The only problem?  March-Phillips was a disgraced loose-cannon, a fiercely independent troublemaker with a reputation for going off-mission and a major dislike of authority figures … he was also the original inspiration for James Bond, then mid-ranking SOE-officer Ian Fleming using him as the basis for the mercurial protagonist of his best-selling spy novels (and the rest, of course, is history).  Needless to say, it looks like this will be the closest Cavill’s ever gonna get to actually playing Bond, and he really sank his teeth into this opportunity, clearly having the time of his life investing the character with his trademark twinkle and roguish charm (as well as an amusing appreciation for fine men’s fashions); he’s the ironclad backbone of the film, driving the action and story with typical aplomb, and is ably supported by a winningly motley collection of misanthropes, the gang of miscreants March-Phillips put together to execute Operation Postmaster brought to life in pitch-perfect performances from Alan Ritchson (Reacher), Alex Pettyfer, Eiza Gonzalez, Henry Golding and more, while there’s an enjoyably NASTY turn from Inglourious Basterds’ Til Schweiger as the film’s dastardly big bad, SS Commandant Heinrich Luhr, and Ritchie regular Cary Elwes brings his classic stiff-upper-lip to bear as the operation’s top CO, Brigadier Colin Gubbins, while an all-but-unrecognisable Rory Kinnear portrays a suitably gruff Winston Churchill.  Ultimately, Ritchie delivers an enjoyably fiendish heist movie masquerading as a war flick, the plot snaking with crafty glee through a series of expertly executed set-pieces and ingenious little twists before finally landing a brilliantly cathartic climax which pays winning respect to the real life heroes that inspired the film, along with one of the greatest espionage thriller franchises OF ALL TIME.  That alone should have won this movie some respect, at least enough to raise its profile, and it’s a criminal shame it’s been treated with SUCH glaring disrespect.  Here’s hoping it earns the cult classic status it deserves, that might redress SOME of the balance …

8.  THE FALL GUY – Stuntman-turned-director David Leitch’s latest film (following on from well-deserved previous successes co-helming the first John Wick film before striking out on his own with Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Hobbs & Shaw and Bullet Train) is not only a genuinely EXTRAORDINARY big screen adaptation of one of the classic old school action adventure TV shows I grew up watching (alongside Knight Rider, The A-Team and Airwolf), but also raises one of the great unanswered questions of cinema – why isn’t there an Academy Award for stunts?  Anyway … turns out that Ken, in last-year’s runaway hit Barbie, wasn’t the only role that Ryan Gosling was born to play – he’s equally perfect for the role of Colt Seavers, the seasoned “unsung hero” who makes all those action hero movie stars look so awesome, at least until an on-set accident left him with a near career-ending back injury which forced him into semi-retirement.  He’s brought back into the game, however, when the action movie star he used to double for, Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), disappears midway through the production of the debut directorial feature of his former lover, camera-operator Jody Moreno (Emily Blunt).  On paper he’s here to fill in for Ryder, but he’s really been brought in to find the missing star before the studio gets wise and shuts down production, but as he delves into what turns out to be a pretty tangled mystery it becomes clear that Colt might not really be the right man for the job … unfortunately he’s all they got … Gosling may be a master of understated performance, but as I’ve learned over the years (particularly from the criminally underappreciated The Nice Guys) he’s ALSO a master of comedic acting, and he’s really firing on all cylinders for this one, frequently damn near stealing the show from a high class cast who are nonetheless all equal to the task.  Blunt is, as always, as flawlessly charming as she is STUNNINGLY beautiful, while Taylor-Johnson is clearly really enjoying playing a supreme douchebag of a preening self-promoting prima donna, Ted Lasso’s Hannah Waddington frequently walks off with her scenes as supremely oily producer Gail Meyer, and Everything Everywhere All At Once’s Stephanie Hsu and the great Winston Duke both hold their own admirably as Ryder’s put-upon personal assistant Alma and Colt’s long-suffering best friend, stunt coordinator Dan Tucker.  Needless to say, Leitch has long since proven that he is a MASTER of on-screen mayhem, effortlessly ushering in some of the very best action sequences we’re going to see in the cinema this year, but he also once again proves he’s ALSO a master of big screen comedy, bringing the pitch perfect screenplay from Drew Pearce (who previously wrote Hobbs & Shaw, as well as Iron Man 3 and his own directorial debut Hotel Artemis) to effervescent primary-coloured life as a gleefully anarchic and thoroughly irreverent celebration of action cinema excess and the gruelling hard work that it takes to actually make it all possible, all done with barely ANY digital trickery at all.  All round, then, this was some of the most fun I’ve had at the cinema this year (so far), and once again, it really does raise that all-time great question – why isn’t there an Oscar for stunt work?  Gods know this one would definitely have been a shoe-in next Awards season …

7.  MARS EXPRESS – My animated feature of the summer is a pretty singular work which came out of leftfield and really took me by surprise, a science fiction murder mystery thriller of rare vision, inventiveness and beauty which is tempered with a fascinating and more than a little troubling thematic message which raises far more questions than it answers.  Marking the feature debut of French writer-director Jeremie Perin (Crisis Jung, Lastman), it chronicles the investigation of two very unusual private investigators – world weary former soldiers Aline Ruby (Lea Drucker of Fox’s War of the Worlds TV series) and Carlos Rivera (The Crimson Rivers’ Daniel Njo Lobe), the latter of whom is now a kind of simulant android whose recorded consciousness was uploaded into an robotic body after he was killed in action – on a colonised Mars as they hunt for the cause of a supposedly harmless robot’s sudden malfunction and subsequent violent rampage.  As they tumble deeper down an alarmingly perilous rabbit hole, they uncover a terrifying clandestine conspiracy involving corporate malfeasance which may include their sometimes employer, tech billionaire Chris Royjacker (the great Mathieu Almaric), rogue AI and a looming technological revolution which could spell disaster for the Red Planet … this is a genuinely INTRIGUING film, Perin and co-writer Laurent Sarfati (who previously worked with him on Lastman) weaving a seductively labyrinthine detective story which works magnificently well as an ingenious sci-fi take on the classic Noir formula, but also delivers an equally fascinating Philip K. Dick-esque treatise on the potential dangers of the unchecked development of artificial intelligence and far more fundamentally challenging questions about what it really means to be alive, and to be human.  It’s also genuinely THRILLING, propelling the story at a furious pace generously peppered with a string of intensely full-blooded action sequences, as well as a genuinely GORGEOUS work of animated art, the exquisite mixture of 2D and digital animation (looking like a slicker version of Titmouse’s work on Scavengers Reign) rivalling some of the best anime I’ve seen but nonetheless somehow carrying a conspicuously FRENCH vibe.  Altogether this is a magnificent achievement for an up-and-coming filmmaking talent whose work I will DEFINITELY be keeping an eye out for the future, as well as a BREATHTAKING masterpiece of this cinematic artform.  I highly recommend hunting it down.

6.  TWISTERS – Back in 1996, Jan de Bont’s man-against-nature action thriller Twister turned out to be one of the most undeniably enjoyable summer blockbusters of the 90s, and it’s one of those rare CGI-heavy features from the fledgling digital days that STILL holds up impressively well today.  It also DEFINITELY worked perfectly well on its own merits, with no need for a sequel and CERTAINLY not a remake … so when it was announced that there was going to be one after all, like many I was suitably dubious.  I mean the story was told perfectly well in the original, there’s nothing new that could really be said in a follow-up, right?  Turns out there actually IS, though, and I’m pleased to report that Minari director Lee Isaac Chung’s new film lives up to its predecessor in fine style, thanks in no small part to him and screenwriter Mark L Smith (The Revenant, Overlord and The Midnight Sky) clearly taking the lessons of the 1996 film very much to heart and bringing us a fresh serving of everything that worked so well last time round while carving impressive fresh ground for a genuinely rewarding original story moving forward.  That being said, the greatest strength of the original wasn’t the effects anyway – it was the wonderfully well-rounded, fully-realised characters we followed into the film’s myriad dangers, and this one definitely pulls off the same feat, introducing a new generation of tornado chasers out to pioneer new scientific tech and hopefully save the lives of people living in the strife-torn environs of America’s Tornado Alley.  Glen Powell (hot off major career-making turns in Top Gun: Maverick and Hit Man) may be the heavyweight star power in this particular cast, and he’s definitely great, scene-stealing fun as Tyler Owens, the self-proclaimed “Tornado Wrangler” of YouTube, but the true heart of the film is Daisy Edgar-Jones (Fresh, Where the Crawdads Sing, Normal People) as meteorologist Kate Carter, who’s looking for redemption for past mistakes which led to the deaths of most of her old storm-chasing team, while Anthony Ramos (Hamilton and In the Heights) is certainly the soul as Javi, Kate’s former colleague who’s looking to help her realise her goal through his new tech venture Storm Par; there’s also hefty support from the likes of Brandon Perea (Nope), Sasha Lane (American Honey, Daniel Isn’t Real), David Corenswet (soon to be the new Superman in James Gunn’s DCU reboot) and even my girl Katy O’Brian (Love Lies Bleeding, Z Nation, The Mandalorian)!  They’re all just as fleshed out as Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt’s crew were back in the day, a compelling collection of lovable misfits we’re happy to go on this crazy death-defying adventure with, which of course does SO MUCH of the heavy lifting with regards to the tension-building because we get so deeply invested in them all.  That being said, the film definitely doesn’t scrimp on spectacle, the visual effects work having improved SIGNIFICANTLY on what was already impressively high quality work back in ’96, leading to some truly TERRIFYING set-pieces that would definitely surprise anyone who only knows Chung for his critically acclaimed and award-winning dramatic work (but less for anyone familiar with his work on The Mandalorian), which means I am VERY curious to see what he’ll deliver this Christmas on the highly anticipated Star Wars-based Skeleton Crew TV series.  This is a far cry from just pure by-the-numbers summer blockbuster fare, then, a heavyweight event pic with a surprising amount of substance and a hefty dose of proper FEELS to go with all that adrenaline and eye candy, and it’s MORE THAN worthy successor to an already rightly beloved classic.

5.  FURIOSA – 2015’s Mad Max: Fury Road was not only one of the greatest films of the last decade, but was also the undeniable MASTERPIECE of director George Miller’s career, even managing to (almost) eclipse his classic FIRST sequel, The Road Warrior.  It was a triumph of visual storytelling, two hours of furious all-action mayhem with barely any digital trickery in evidence, and brought us one of the greatest female protagonists of all time in the irrepressible warrior woman who managed to overshadow Max Rockatansky himself – Imperator Furiosa, perfectly brought to life by an ON FIRE Charlize Theron.  It was, quite simply, A PERFECT FILM.  So did it really NEED a prequel, chronicling the story of what led such a badass lady to undertake the gruelling crusade of that most exceptional of cinematic extravaganzas?  Honestly?  Not really.  But does that matter?  No, not at all.  As soon as Miller started touting this as a project those of us who flipped out SO HARD over Fury Road IMMEDIATELY started frothing at the mouth at the possibilities … it was just that the more pragmatic among us were also a little worried that he might not be able to capture lightning in a bottle all over again.  Well, we never should have doubted him, Miller was definitely equal to the task – Furiosa may not be QUITE as good as the film it chronologically precedes, but as an origin story it is MAGNIFICENT, a sprawling, gruelling, exhausting post-apocalyptic action epic that definitely does flawless justice to such an incredibly strong character.  I don’t want to give too much away plot-wise, it’s better to just jump in and ABSORB it all, suffice to say that this does indeed reveal how the child Furiosa was stolen from her seemingly idyllic life in an oasis in the middle of the radioactive Australian wasteland, dragged out into the middle of a brutally hostile desert filled with warfare, insanity and SERIOUSLY POWERFUL VEHICLES and forced to forge herself into an indomitable, merciless and uncompromising living weapon in order to survive, thrive and find her way back to her long lost Green Place.   Anya Taylor-Joy is a fine choice indeed for a more youthful Furiosa, subtly nuanced and filled with simmering intensity buried under a haughty mask of righteous untouchability,

but she doesn’t even TURN UP until the midway point of the film, the lion’s share of the work to establish her unbreakable character through her lost childhood ultimately going to The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart’s Ayla Browne (who previously performed for Miller on Three Thousand Years of Longing), and she is nothing less than a TOTAL FUCKING REVELATION in the role.  Chris Hemsworth frequently steals the film as the best villain the franchise has EVER HAD (and that says a lot in a series that includes Hugh Keys-Byrne’s Toecutter), self-aggrandising preening peacock Dementus, who gleefully tips from adorably camp to chillingly monstrous to pompously flamboyant at the drop of a hat, effortlessly holding court over the likes of Nathan Jones’ spectacularly ridiculous Rictus Erectus and Romper Stomper’s Lachy Hulme as a more youthful incarnation of his tyrannical father Immortan Joe, while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke is equal parts heroic and stoic as Praetorian Jack, the doughty War Rig commander who takes Furiosa on as his protégé, and model-turned actress Charlee Fraser (Anyone But You) rules over the opening scenes as her ferociously protective mother, Mary Jabassa.  Miller delivers in fine style on the action like always, the War Rig chase in particular sure to go down as the year’s most memorable action sequence, and once again there’s a pleasing reliance on physical stunt-work, practical sets and good old fashioned elbow grease over CGI throughout that does its predecessor proud.  That being said, this one is NOT a breakneck movie-long chase, its more leisurely, sometime quite introspective pace instead going a long way to let the story breathe and the peerless world-building develop, although there is still a characteristic relentlessness to the tale which means that, despite its two-and-a-half-hour runtime it never feels overlong or outstays its welcome.  Then again, it once again deploys Fury Road’s secret weapon – another throbbing, propulsively atmospheric score from Tom Holkenborg – to create another very pleasurable ride through the irradiated hellscape of Miller’s Outback.  I for one would be very pleased to return to it someday …

4.  KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES – Matt Reeves is a tough act to follow, even before The Batman he was already blowing us away with his star-making directorial breakthrough helming Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and its follow-up War For the Planet of the Apes.  The conclusion of that latter film put a very definitive exclamation point on the franchise as a whole, making ANY attempts to continue the saga a tough prospect indeed, and something that even a seasoned filmmaker might balk at.  But when I heard the proposed new trilogy, set hundreds of years after the events of War, would be directed by Wes Ball, I breathed a big sigh of relief – he did an INCREDIBLE job with the sci-fi trilogy adapting YA novelist James Dashner’s popular Maze Runner series, so I knew the saga was in very good hands indeed.  Having come up in visual effects, Ball’s always maintained a very strong balance between physical and digital filmmaking, so he was certainly up to the challenge of bringing a new generation of photorealistic, vitally ALIVE super-intelligent talking apes to the big screen, as well as putting his flesh-and-blood actors through their paces with similar skill and flair.  Most important, though, this film introduces a new lead protagonist who’s definitely got what it takes to succeed Andy Serkis’ mesmerizing Caesar in a new story, Owen Teague (It, I See You, Inherit the Viper, Black Mirror) thoroughly impressing in his first lead role as Noa, an uncertain young chimpanzee from an isolated tribal clan forced to grow up fast when his people are stolen in one terrifying night by masked ape raiders, leaving him to follow their trail with only intellectual orangutan Raka (The Orville’s Peter Macon) and an unusually smart “echo” (basically what humans have become since they lost their speech and intelligence) named Mae (The Witcher’s Freya Allan) to count as allies.  Macon is a thoroughly endearing presence throughout, while Allan delivers a fascinatingly complex performance that fuels many of the film’s most interesting twists (although I’m sure you can spot one or two coming ahead of time); and then there’s Kevin Durand, who’s clearly having a whale of a time getting his teeth into a rewardingly robust screen villain in the form of Proximus Caesar, an ambitious bonobo warlord who’s using a corrupted version of his namesake’s teachings to build a tyrannical empire of oppressed apes – he’s not quite as compelling an antagonist as Toby Kebbell’s Koba, but he serves most admirably indeed here.  Altogether, this film definitely had A LOT of heavy lifting to do to even APPROACH the heights of Reeves’ tenure on the franchise, and Ball and screenwriter Josh Friedman (War of the Wolds, Terminator: Dark Fate, Avatar: The Way of Water) have risen to the task in fine style, delivering a thrilling, affecting and inventive epic action adventure which skilfully builds on the framework provided by the previous trilogy while courageously forging ahead into the future, leaving room to venture forward into exciting further instalments.  Ultimately this isn’t QUITE as good as Dawn or even War, but with this the saga remains as rewarding, compelling and majestic as ever before, and I see great things indeed in its future.  I can’t wait for whatever comes next …

3.  A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE – It’s interesting, most of the time when you get a really great movie that becomes a big hit and spawns a franchise, THE LAST THING it needs is a prequel, and oftentimes when it DOES happen it feels like a shoehorned mess or even a total disrespectful retcon (they can’t ALL be Furiosa, after all).  A Quiet Place was never one of those – right from the start it was clear that how it all began was going to be JUST as interesting as where the original story was going, a fact which was DEFINITELY reinforced when Part Two dropped that TERRIFYING flashback cold open.  So when this finally arrived I was FIRST in my local queue, raring to go and so unswervingly excited that anything less than amazing was liable to be a disappointment.  Thankfully it turned out to be EVERYTHING I was hoping for – this is a super trim 99 minutes of knuckle-whitening terror with a (by now, not really all that) surprising amount of emotional power packed in, one of those films that brings you to tears when it’s not scaring the living bejeezuz out of you, just like the first two.  Lupita Nyong’o is a breath of fresh air as our new lead protagonist, Samira, a world-weary young New Yorker who’s been beaten down by a life of tragedy and chronic pain from the very same kind of advanced cancer that killed her beloved father, only to find a reason to stay alive (at least for a few more days) when the sound-seeking murder-beasts crash-land in the middle of the loudest city in the world and instantly go apeshit from all the noise.  Stranger Things’ Joseph Quinn, meanwhile, puts us through the emotional wringer right from his entrance as Eric, a timid Brit law student whose anxiety is going THROUGH THE ROOF as this all goes off around him, forced to find inner reserves of courage he never knew he had after he latches onto Sam as she makes her way across the city in search of the last slice she’ll ever be able to get from her favourite Harlem pizzeria.  There are equally heartfelt turns from Alex Wolff (Hereditary, Jumanji, Pig) as Reuben, Sam’s put-upon hospice nurse, and Djimon Hounsou, showing how his character started his own apocalyptic struggle as Part Two’s Henri, but perhaps the biggest stars of this film are, unsurprisingly, Nico and Schnitzel, a pair of tuxedo cats who perfectly portrayed the role of Frodo, Sam’s service cat, who’s probably THE MOST CHILLED-OUT feline I have EVER SEEN in a movie, and definitely one of the cutest.  Ultimately this is an absolute TRIUMPH for its breakout writer-director, Michael Sarnoski, whose INSANELY impressive feature debut Pig already made him one to watch back in 2021, and he definitely did the original property justice while carving his own equally impressive path in the franchise.  The end result, then, is a welcome addition to an already INCREDIBLE horror movie series, and definitely a strong contender for the genre’s movie of the year.

2.  DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE – Damn … if ever there was a movie that I really can’t say much of ANYTHING about for fear of dropping spoilers, even if most of the fandom has already gone to see it … this is an IMPORTANT MOVIE, maybe the most important of the year, because the MCU has been on the rocks of late, despite Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 going a long way to setting its fortunes back on the right track (but then that one has very much been considered a BLIP, really), and this one looks to have SINGLEHANDEDLY knocked the whole mess back on the right track while simultaneously mercilessly ripping the piss out of the whole debacle.  No, I mean IT REALLY DOES, there isn’t A SINGLE STONE that the Merc With a Mouth leaves unturned in his quest for meta-fuelled irreverence here (except maybe that dead Celestial poking out of the Pacific that nobody seems to be talking about after Eternals … or maybe I missed a joke somewhere).  Anyway, this is EVERY BIT as good as James Gunn’s third and final feature for the franchise, as well as another SUPER-solid entry in what was already Fox’s now expired X-Verse’s most popular series, but most importantly it’s also an EXTREMELY successful bridging film between that and the flagging Marvel Cinematic Universe, the perfect way to bring Mutantkind into the franchise with the least amount of fuss.  That being said, the BIG attraction here is, of course, getting to see two of Marvel’s biggest heavyweights going head-to-head in one movie, and of course beating seven shades of shit out of each other while they’re at it.  If you will … yeah, if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to get spoiled, you really should jump off at this point and just GO SEE IT while they’re still milking it for every cent they can in theatres, safe in the knowledge that it’s a fucking AWESOME movie and you won’t be disappointed.  Now SHOO!!!  Be off with you … okay, still here?  Right, then, watch me try to be as spoiler-light as I can moving forward … as much as Wade Wilson and Logan may be the very EPITOME of chalk-and-cheese onscreen, behind the scenes Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman have got on like a house on fire for a while now, ever since the former started lovingly teasing the latter in the first Deadpool movie and started his long-running campaign to lure the original Marvel Movie superstar into a big screen team-up, so it comes as NO SURPRISE that they’re both clearly having the time of their lives working together now.  Their chemistry in this is OFF THE CHARTS, the pair trading razor sharp quips, dirty looks and well-deserved face-punches with gleeful abandon from their first scene together RIGHT to the end, while the incredibly strong screenplay from Reynolds, series regulars Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, Robot Chicken’s Zeb Wells and the film’s director Shawn Levy (who previously worked with Reynolds on Free Guy and The Adam Project, as well as Jackman on Real Steel) definitely gives them a really big Multiversal playground to let loose in, all while doing a really beautiful job of taking the baggage that the current condition of the MCU property’s left the franchise in and stuffing it all into what’s always been a much more stable if also far less RESPECTFUL cinematic sandbox.  There are easter eggs galore, both overt and a whole lot more subtle

throughout, especially during an extended sojourn into the Void (the TVA’s pruning dumping ground) which not only introduces a few fun new faces (including at least one X-Men franchise missed opportunity AS WELL as the VERY welcome return of my very favourite Marvel mutant of them all – so nice to see you back, Laura!  Sure hope you get to stick around for more) but also a bunch of fan favourites from across Fox’s Marvel pantheon, and as far as I’m concerned there ain’t a single bum note in the entire symphony here!  Certainly this is BY FAR the funniest Deadpool movie so far (which is saying something), but that’s not really surprising since Shawn Levy has consistently proven to be one of the VERY BEST cinematic comedy directors out there (especially with his consistently high quality Night At the Museum series), so this is just another day at the office for him, and he definitely delivered something TRULY SPECIAL here.  This is THE MOST I have laughed at the cinema so far this year, but thankfully like its predecessors it’s also got plenty of feels on offer too, meaning that it definitely fits in JUST FINE with the best that its new peers in the MCU have to offer.  Topping this off with a selection of genuinely BRILLIANT inspired soundtrack needle-drops (particularly in the thoroughly irreverent and MASSIVELY disrespectful opening title sequence which sees Wade mercilessly desecrating one of Marvel’s most sacred cows) and a genuinely moving closing credits farewell homage to Fox’s Marvel legacy, the filmmakers have done their material so very proud as well as opened the door to so much fresh possibility in the Marvel Cinematic Universe going forward, and I for one hope this is a sign that things really are FINALLY back on the right track for the series.  Now if they could just get that Blade reboot out of Development Hell (wink wink) …

1.  ALIEN: ROMULUS – Ultimately landing JUST BEHIND a certain other major genre heavyweight entry on my list for the year so far, my (current) number TWO science-fiction film of the year is also easily one of the SCARIEST movies I’ve seen so far this year.  It’s also a very interesting and IMPORTANT film in that it goes A LONG WAY to knocking yet another major cinematic franchise back on track after spending a long while spiralling further and further out of true alignment.  Okay, I admit it, I LIKE Prometheus a whole lot as an actual FILM, but even I can admit that IN UNIVERSE its attempts to connect with Ridley Scott’s own original masterpiece and James Cameron’s (even better) follow-up were clunky at best and downright EMBARRASSING at worst (and in the end, the less said about Alien: Covenant the better, really).  So I guess it’s actually A GOOD THING that Scott took a step back into more of a producing role to allow somebody else to take the reins of this sort-of soft reboot, and it turns out that Fede Alvarez, writer-director of the first Evil Dead remake and Don’t Breathe (as well as the CRIMINALLY underrated The Girl In the Spider’s Web), was the PERFECT CHOICE for this job.  Fitting in somewhere between the events of Alien and Aliens, Romulus sees the dastardly Weyland Yutani Corporation find the blasted remains of the Nostromo floating in deep space, as well as traces of the original xenomorph itself, which they then transport to the film’s eponymous space station, in the orbit of the colony world of Jackson’s Star, in the hopes of exploiting the organism’s unique properties for their own gains.  Something clearly goes HORRIBLY WRONG in the interim, because when a gang of opportunistic young colonists, looking for a chance to jump ship to a freer life in another system outside of Corporate control, sneak onto the station in the hopes of scavenging some cryogenic resources for the journey, they find it derelict and ravaged by some kind of horrific disaster.  Then their poking around sets loose some of the fruits of the scientists’ biological labours, and before they know it they’re neck-deep in facehuggers and more than a few of their bigger brethren too …

Cailee Spaeny (Priscilla, Civil War, Bad Times At the El Royale) makes for a surprisingly robust action heroine in the classic Ripley mould as Rain, her diminutive size belying her character’s feisty determination and wily resourcefulness; Archie Renaux (Shadow & Bone) and Isabel Merced (Sicario: Day of the Soldado, Dora & the City of Gold, Turtles All the Way Down) are both extremely likeable as Tyler and Kay, respectively Rain’s ex-boyfriend and best friend, while Spike Fearn (Tell Me Everything) is kind of a prick as their cocky cousin Bjorn, and newcomer Aileen Wu is standoffish but precocious as talented young pilot Navarro.  The real breakout star of the piece, however, has to be Rye Lane’s David Jonsson, who delivers a spectacularly complex, multifaceted turn as Rain’s adopted brother Andy, a former Weyland-Yutani android dug out of a scrapheap and reprogrammed to protect her by her late father.  They’re all put through hell by the events that unfold within the faltering station, Alvarez turning the screws and fraying our nerves with his characteristic masterful skill as their situations progressively go from bad to worse to truly fucked, all while paying loving homage to the first two movies while also creating something new and fresh for the series if they do decide to move forward from here.  Best of all, though, as he’s always done in the past he largely eschews digital effects, preferring to do as much as he possibly can with physical effects, which makes the impressively icky creature work and seriously NASTY gore all the more delightfully gnarly throughout, with the film’s ONLY bum note being a particularly problematic “resurrection” choice which has already had a great deal made of it in the press, but which I, ultimately, found was actually handled surprisingly well in the end, so that it really didn’t detract very much from my personal enjoyment of the film as a whole.  Rounded off with an evocative and enjoyably old school score from Benjamin Wallfisch (who clearly had a great time channelling both Jerry Goldsmith and James Horner here), this is a rousing success for me, a phenomenal return to form for one of my very favourite sci-fi cinematic franchises and yet another standout offering from one of the very best fresh talents working in horror cinema today.  If he does indeed choose to stick with the property, I think Alvarez could well keep this series fresh and exciting for a fair few years yet.