#live commentating this movie was hilarious

[krockat]

absolutely gorge.

for a person who's been kind of drifted off from cool movies their whole life and is like, learning how to find things to watch that isn't centered at youths

(two of my most fave shows are steven universe and shera spop (and also russian doll, good omens and the boys but i haven't finished those yet so they don't count),

and has the task of recommending cool-fish whimsical weirdo movies and creations to a newly formed norm critical film group that me and a buncha disabled nerds are watching at our non-work-cause-we-cant-work-cause-we-v-disabled-workplace... :

does anyone have any recommendations on where to find films like this, or films to discuss, in such a group? or recommendations for specific films or media

(especially the watchable kind - one one can put on an old projector that's kinda shitty because we have not gotten the funding from our workplace (that's not actually a workplace, the corpos and govvies just want us to call it that. a lot of us going there call it dagis tho (informal slang for kindergarten)) to really gust this shit up yet)!

we are a bunch of funky polyminority queers and blooming cis+ers who all are into weird shit. but they (and me aswell, to a certain level, its just i know more than many of them on things like these) have not yet unlocked our potential for weird and norm critical/aware fully.

i think if this group goes well, we can motherfucker unlimited a Whole lot of people, honestly.

so yes, i am looking to make these all fuckers bloom out even more.

here are some movies i am going to suggest to our viewing, so you may know what we already got ahead:

- but i'm a cheerleader!

- everything everywhere at the end of time

- John waters movies and medias, esp those with divine (but i have not seen any yet, so if any of you have specific recs i would Love them)

- epsilon (i think?) - this one swedish short film that was a part of the yearly swedish film festival sometime between 2015-2020 that i can Not for the life of me find any even trace of online.

pretty sure it was called epsilon and it was about a brain that was being used in science experiments, that didn't realize it was just a brain, and a psychic one at that -

and the owner of the brain had donated it to science and had written away the right to have the ability to take away consent after they (the swedish scientist institute) had acquired the brain.

so they (the scientists) keep deleting its memory every time it gets 'too feisty' (tries to escape or attack the people abusing it for science).

it had one kind of notable swedish white older woman actor in it, but i can Not find her through imdb searches as i do not remember her or any works she has done. i tried searching through old women actors there but could Not.

- liv strömquist tänker på dig!

i am having hard time finding it online.

there was a recording made by SVT (Sveriges Television) of this Swedish theatre divising production, which is based on Liv Strömquist's feminist tragicomedy comic book also called Liv Strömquist Tänker På Dig! (Liv Strömquist Is Thinking About You!) - and i went to it live aswell Two times - and it was amazing, and i even got a script from (i think it was, retroactively) the director herself as i showed my huge nerdiness about it - and i foolishly never saved my own RIP of the recording of it!!)

- clue (tim curry etc version)

- derry girls (a few eps?)

we have watched, so far:

- dating amber (nice, we watched it in two parts. the first 3 meetings we had to setup the tech thing and the weird room we borrowed from the nearby building, dirty dusty room that was part of some old nearly empty office buildings, that was like a time capsule from the 70s. really funny to explore, super abandoned vibes and like it was left in a hurry with crap thrown places and sensitive documents, and broken and Untaken care of.

an old drink-yoghurt bottle that they stopped making like nearly 10 years ago stood in the projection hall that with old ass dusty ass tech sat. we nerded out REAL HARD y'all. also seems haunted by the past. also one time we heard a weird sound, and one of the friends there gathered it was an elevator alarm, cause she knows the sound as she lived in places with bad elavtors. and i was like. we should probably look to see if anyvody needs our help, but where tf is that elevator even, because it wasn't the regular elevators we use? so we find the elevator (in a room we didn't realize was there because we had explored it before and not seen that whole part.) and we pressed the button to see if it would help. and after a pretty long time (for an elevator, but not too long if it was a broken elevator) the elevator moved to our floor and there was a man there looking really confused. the door was bolted so we would have to unbolt it to open it. He didn't really say anything at first even after I said hey, so I asked 'are you okay? do you need help' and he was like 'no i am not okay, i am stuck in here, but there's people down there who are saying they can help me' so he went down and after he started going I was like. okay we'll press it again and if he's still in there we have unbolted the door so he can get out. but when we pressed it back he was gone.

anyway one of the friends got real scared and spooked out by that whole ordeal and honestly the place to begin with haha. but she was the one who showed up the next time to watch the second part of dating amber, and me (apart from our coach) , cause the other two were sickomoding.)

and are gonna watch:

- rocky horror picture show, next monday!

we are going eat snacks and dress extra camp for it, cause we wanted to also have it more like a viewing of the original cult movie watchings, and like some places still do?

yanno with the singing along and the throwing popcorn and that kinda hullabaloo?

but we just didn't have time to prepare all that for this one (we are all burnt out/are recovering, even our coach/leader is lol). so this is our pre!

oh yea this is a huge long comment where i just kinda had time to write down all this for the first time! longer than i anticipated, but i am gonna let myself be long for this one.

Woman of the Seventies

[pomegranatesarchive]

locked in a closet | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x landos bestfriend!reader

summary: lando norris locks his two bestfriends in a broom closet in hopes that they’ll stop hating each other.

liked by, oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 438,626 others!

lando.jpg: how can i get my bestfriends to stop hating each other?

view comments below!

oscarpiastri: you can’t.

lando.jpg: ☹️

oscarpiastri: you can pout all you want. We will never get along.

lando.jpg: why must you break my heart 💔

user1: it’s been a whole year lando…i don’t think they’ll ever get along

user2: NEVER SAY NEVER

user3: oscar this, lando that, can we talk about how good y/n looks?? 🙄

yourusername: THANK YOU!! nobody appreciates my beauty anymore 😒😒

oscarpiastri: what beauty?

yourusername: die?

user4: LMAOO

yourusername: maybe if, he who should not be named, wasn’t so annoying, we could actually get along!

oscarpiastri: i’m not fucking voldemort you can say my name

yourusername: o-os🤮c-ca🤮🤮🤮🤮 no i just can’t.

oscarpiastri: oh and i’m the annoying one??

yourusername: yeah! you are!

oscarpiastri: @/lando.jpg control her.

lando.jpg: guy please, can’t we all just get along 😞😞

yourusername: how would getting along with he who should not be named, benefit me??

lando.jpg: it would make me really really happy 😁😁

yourusername: i couldnt give less of a shit about your happiness lando

oscarpiastri: see? She’s a horrible friend, me on the on the hand would never be so mean to you.

yourusername: you told lando he looks like big bird two days ago?

user5: for two people who hate each other, they sure do talk a lot…

danielricciardo: why do they even hate each other so much? 🙄🙄

lando.jpg: oscar spilled his drink on y/n the first time they met. he refused to apologize. she refused to forgive him.

yourusername: you forgot to mention that my shirt was $300 😐😐

oscarpiastri: FIRST OFF who in their right mind buys a 300 HUNDRED DOLLAR SHIRT???!?!? and SECOND OFF, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! I refuse to apologize for something that wasn’t on purpose.

yourusername: this is why your mom loves me more.

oscarpiastri: she does NOT.

nicolepiastri: …

oscarpiastri: MUM????

yourusername: i know that’s right.

user6: oscar and y/n would be so cute together if they stopped being so IMMATURE

user7: they should just #kissandmakeup

user8: me patiently waiting for the enemies to lovers 🧍‍♀️

user9: you’re going to be waiting a LONG time…

charles_leclerc: i think it’s time to give up on the idea them being friends mate 😢

lando.jpg: I SAY WHEN ITS TIME

user10: charles is just sick of getting caught in the crossfire 😭

user11: OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONCE WHO NOTICES THAT ???😭😭😭

user10: NOO I DID TOOO!! it’s like every time oscar and y/n are having a glare-off charles somehow ends up right in between them

user11: AND THEN HE JUST STANDS THERE LIKE 🧍‍♂️

maxverstappen1: just lock them in a room and let them fight it out 🤷

lando.jpg: wait a damn minute…

yourusername: LANDO NO.

oscarpiastri: absolutely not.

— y/n has posted new photos!

liked by, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alex_albon, and 502,528 others!

yourusername: p2, and now movie night in max’s movie theater <33

view comments below!

user12: cutting oscar out of the photo is DIABOLICAL WORK 😭😭

user13: oh to be y/n l/n :((

user14: y/n is literally living the DREAM

user15: the way y/n made SURE you could see that she cut oscar out of the photo

yourusername; i have no idea what you’re talking about ?? 😓😓

oscarpiastri: get off your phone and watch the movie 🙄

yourusername: stop staring and me and watch the movie 🙄

user16: clock it y/n!!!!!

landonorris: did you really have to crop out oscar?

yourusername: yes!

user17: landos trying so hard 😞

user18: they’re all having a movie night 😞😞😞 ??

user19: I SHOULD BE THERE 💔💔💔💔💔

maxverstappen1: this movie is so funny!!

yourusername: it’s brokeback mountain?

maxverstappen1: and it’s hilarious! 😂

user20: MAX WATCHING BROKEBACK MOUTAIN ??!?!??

user21: max thinking brokeback mountain is funny is so him??

charles_leclerc: this movie is so sad 💔💔💔

yourusername: yeah charles we all see you crying :(

user22: charles crying over brokeback mountain is SO HIM!!

user23: is everyone just in there phones during the movie?? 😭😭

oscarpiastri: nope! just she who should not be named 🤷

yourusername: the unoriginality is disgusting!!

maxverstappen1: i’m going to, as the kids say, expose everyone. @/oscarpiastri has not stoped staring at y/n all night.

maxverstappen1: @/yourusername hasn’t stopped staring at a photo oscar on her phone.

this comment has been deleted.

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris has eaten 2 whole pizzas.

maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc is crying like a baby.

maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo keeps awkwardly laughing at the worst moments.

maxverstappen1: @/georgerussell63 keeps taking photos of his abs

maxverstappen1: @/lewishamiliton is secretly wiping away his tears

maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon has been whining about missing ‘his lily’ all night

maxverstappen1: @/carlossainz has gotten up to pee 10 times in the past HOUR

maxverstappen1: and @/logansargent has been hugging a teddy bear for the past 2 hours.

maxverstappen1: that’s what you ALL GET for not having MOVIE THEATER ETIQUETTE AND BEING ON YOUR PHONES.

yourusername: damn okay….

alex_albon: can you go get me my jacket in the closet? i’m kinda cold 🥶🥶

yourusername: yeah sure? 😭

user24: something’s brewing..i can feel it.

landonorris: @/oscarpiastri can you go get me my beanie in the closet? my ears are cold

oscarpiastri: yeah sure

— 3 minutes later!

— 7 minutes later!

— 2 hours later!

— y/n has posted new pictures!

liked by, oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, and 629,628 others!

yn.jpg: max’s door didn’t stand a chance against MY muscles 💪(ft, jimmy the cat♡♡)

view comments below!

user25: oscar in the likes?????

user26: wait a minute…

maxverstappen1: don’t worry i won’t make you pay for it 😚

yourusername: you locked me in a room with oscar. i wasn’t paying either way.

maxverstappen1: FINE. 😒😒😒

user27: did she just…say oscar name?

user28: in the whole YEAR oscar and y/n have known each other, y/n has NEVER said his name WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

user29: something happened in that closet

landonorris: hello, i am lando norris, and i would like to publicly apologize for locking my dear friends (especially yn) in a closet. it was stupid and inappropriate of me. i hope to gain back their forgiveness.

user30: did y/n make you do this?

landonorris: no… (yes pls help she’s locked me in my room and won’t let me out)

yourusername; i’ll let you out once you’ve learned your lesson.

oscarpiastri: nice kitty.

yourusername: thanks!

georgerussell63: um, what the fuck is this?

charles_leclerc: maybe management took over oscar’s account?

oscarpiatari: no? it’s me?

charles_leclerc: oh! then what the fuck is this?

user31: something DEFINITELY happened in that closet. why are oscar and y/n actually being civil????

landonorris: i don’t know but it’s scary.

yourusername: do i have to confiscate your phone too?

landonorris: no! Sorry i’m learning my lesson 😞

carlossainz: hahaha 😂lando is such a loser

yourusername: do i have to take your phone to carlos? 🤨

carlossainz: NO, no i’m sorry 😔

user32: is it finally happening?…the enemies to lovers we all wanted 💔💔

user33: your telling me landos plan actually worked and y/n and oscar are being civil now ??

user34: dare i say…oscar and y/n would be a cute couple

danielricciardo: why are you and piastri being cool with each other?

yourusername: isn’t this what you all wanted??

danielricciardo: yeah…i guess we did…didn’t we?

landonorris: I KNEW IT WOULD WORK!!

yourusername: you’re still in trouble, come give me your phone.

landonorris: okay 😞

— oscarpiastri has posted new photos!

liked by yourusername, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 727,918 others!

oscarpiastri: second date, kinda nervous. (she taught me that)

view comments below!

landonorris: second date and already making it instagram official? You’re so whipped 😒

oscarpiastri: didn’t you want us to get along better?

landonorris: yeah, GET ALONG, not GET TOGETHER 😒😒

user35: GET TOGETHER??? EXCUSE MEEEE

user36: THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!! IT HAPPNED IT FUCKING HAPPENED. FUCK EVEYONE WHO TOLD ME I WAS DELUSIONAL FOR SAYING THIS WOULD HAPPEN. GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT?? ME! I WAS!

user37: did i just step into a parallel universe where y/n and oscar are dating? because what the actual fuck is going on

maxverstappen1: 😨.

user38: SEE!! EVEN MAX IS ASTONISHED

user39; the period after the emoji is KILLING ME 😭😭

georgerussell63: Is that Y/n????? @/charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: no? it can’t be?

yourusername: it is

charles_leclerc: AHHHHHHH

georgerussell63: AHHHHHHHH

user39: we did it ladies and gentlemen…after one whole year, the enimies to lovers has finally happened 🥲🥲🥲

landonorris: WE??? NAH BABY ME!! ALL ME!!

yourusername: heart heart

maxverstappen1: 🤨

lewishamilton: 🤨

georgerussell63: 🤨

landonorris: 🤨

logansargent: 🤨

charles_leclerc: 🤨

schecoperez: 🤨

danielricciardo: 🤨

carlossainz: 🤨

yukitsunoda0511: 🤨

fernadoalonso: 🤨

totowolff: 🤨

mclaren: 🤨

yourusername: OMG HE BOUGHT ME A REPLICA OF THE SHIRT HE RUINED, I FORGAVE HIM OKAY???

user40: only the seconds date and he’s already posting her?? oh he’s obsessed.

oscarpiastri: well, yes!

user41: 3 days ago they hated each other so much??? what happened???

yourusername: i’m a really good kisser

user42: DO YOU GUYS TGINK THEY KISSED IN THE CLOSET???

user43: maybe we do have lando to thank…

. . .

notes: one of the longest smau’s i’ve done! reminder that comments and reblogs are so greatly appreciated <33

[adrienneleclerc]

hiii! i was wondering if you could do a fic based on this yt video with charles?

https://youtube.com/shorts/33NhUYNKqu8?si=90BAJ_FLoZFkq9pa

I just think it's so cute and he would be so pouty about it. like when the guy in the video was like, "he needs to wear glasses , what a nerd!" i was thinking about reader going, well you wear glasses too amour. i just think it would be so fluffy and cute lol.

Ooh yes! But I decided that Y/N also wears glasses because I wear glasses, and I think it would be hilarious.

Nerdy Glasses?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina Reader

Summary: Y/N decides to show Charles her favorite holiday movie and his reaction is hilarious to say the least.

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors

A/N: i have never seen The Holiday but I have seen this YouTube short many times

Y/N turned on the TV and got comfortable on the couch.

“Mon coeur, it’s not even Christmas yet, do we have to watch this movie?” Charles asked.

“I didn’t see you complaining when I made you watch Exmas last night.” Y/N said, getting her Calvin Klein glasses to watch the movie clearly, sitting back down.

“Fine, put it on, amour.” Charles said, sitting beside her.

“Thank you, I will.” Y/N got the remote and set up the movie. She snuggled into Charles and it was all going well until he saw that Y/N was practically swooning over Jude Law.

“Is he really that good looking that this is your favorite Christmas movie?” Charles asked,

“I mean technically my favorite Christmas movie is The Santa Clause, but it’s cute.” Y/N said.

“Why? Is it because he’s British? I speak French, mon coeur, the most romantic language in the world.” Charles said.

“Ay ya párale, muñeco, im trying to watch the movie.” Y/N said, a few minutes go by.

“He’s not that good looking, I bet there’s something wrong with him.” Charles commented and Y/N stared at him.

“Like what, please tell me.” Y/N said,

“I bet the cameras make him look taller.” Charles said.

“Please, he’s literally your height, don’t even lie, you’re 5’11 on a GOOD day.” Y/N said.

“I’m 1.80m Y/N, you live in Monaco, learn our metric system.” Charles said.

“Oh shut it, you have no idea how big the states truly are, now shush.” Y/N said, turning back to the TV. They get to the scene where Jude Law says he lost his contact lenses.

“You see! He needs to wear glasses, what a nerd.” Charles said. Y/N turns to stare at him.

“Muñeco, you wear glasses when you’re on the sim. You own those thick black framed glasses too and you sometimes wear them out.” Y/N said.

“But this glasses are by choice, his are prescription.” Charles said.

“Oh so are my prescription glasses nerdy to you, Charles? Am i nerd because i wear glasses?” Y/N argues and Charles stammers.

“Of course not, mon coeur, I actually think you look really sexy in those glasses.” Charles attempts to save himself.

“Mm hmm.” Y/N said, not believing him.

“I swear, it’s kind of a turn on when you wear your glasses, especially with your hair up” Charles commented.

“You are such a guy, let’s just keep watching the movie, yeah?” Y/N said, Turing back to the screen,

“Yeah.” Charles said. Y/N then whispers in his ear.

“It’s a turn on when you wear your glasses too.” And Y/N pulled away to continue watching the movie. However, when the movie ended, Charles had a new appreciation for wearing glasses.

The End

Hope y’all liked it, I think it turned out cute, I’ve also been thinking I should make more headers like this for my other fanfics

[pbaz7]

AGAINST THE TIDE: PART SIX

paige x azzi

word count: 4.7k

A/N: This is just a cute little chapter to show how much their dynamic has grown/changed. There will be a few time jumps after this because we’ll never get anywhere otherwise 😭. I love all the live reactions and comments I’ve been getting, they’re actually hilarious.

—————————————————————————

After spending the night in Paige’s room, the two of them got impossibly closer. When they woke up the next morning, Paige invited Azzi to tag along to her physical therapy session. Azzi of course agreed, and from that moment on, they spent every waking hour together for the rest of the short winter break. Whether it was in rehab, watching movies in Paige’s room, or going out for a sweet treat in the middle of the night at Azzi’s request, they became inseparable.

When they returned to UConn after Christmas, it was the exact same. It was rare to see one without the other. Both of them were sidelined with injuries, which only gave them more excuses to stay close. During games, they sat on the bench together, Paige talking Azzi’s ear off about strategy, stats, and whatever random thoughts crossed her mind. Azzi didn’t mind; she found Paige’s rambling endearing, even when it meant missing part of the game on the court.

Off the bench, they poured themselves into helping the team however they could. They watched hours of film together, analyzing plays and finding ways to improve their teammates’ performance with so many of them sidelined with injuries. Huddled around a laptop in the locker room or sprawled out on the floor of Paige’s dorm, their heads often ended up leaning close enough that their shoulders brushed. Neither pulled away.

Neither of them brought up the new dynamic between them. It was like there was a silent agreement to ignore the feelings simmering just beneath the surface. They told themselves it was easier this way, to focus on recovery and basketball. But the excuses only went so far.

Their stolen glances during film sessions lasted a second too long. The casual touches—Paige nudging Azzi’s knee when she made a good point, or Azzi grabbing Paige’s forearm to drag her somewhere or emphasize her own thoughts—left feelings between both of them. Paige’s heart raced every time Azzi’s hand lingered on hers, while Azzi found herself melting into a puddle by the way Paige’s voice softened when they were alone. A softness she only seemed to have for Azzi.

Still, they stayed in the safe lane of ‘friendship’ burying their feelings beneath layers of banter and shared routines. To them that seemed to work but to anyone else looking at their dynamic it definitely seemed like they were in a relationship. The two of them basically teased and flirted with one another nonstop.

January 2022

Today was no different. They were currently on the road, heading back to Connecticut after taking a quick trip to see Paige’s surgeon for her check-up. The car was quiet except for the hum of the engine and the faint sound of music playing from the speakers. Paige was driving, her hands relaxed on the wheel, and Azzi was trying her best to focus on anything but her.

It wasn’t easy. Azzi wasn’t used to seeing Paige behind the wheel—usually, she was the passenger, sprawled out and carefree. But now that Paige could drive she insisted on doing it every time and Azzi could never stop glancing over at her. The way Paige’s jawline looked when she would clinch it at someone doing something stupid in front of her, the subtle furrow of her brow as she concentrated on the road, or, worst of all, the way her long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles flexing slightly.

Azzi swallowed hard, her thoughts wandering somewhere they absolutely shouldn’t be. She blinked, forcing herself to look straight ahead, but her gaze betrayed her almost immediately, drifting back to the blonde.

Paige caught her. She glanced over, catching Azzi’s lingering stare, and a slow smirk spread across her face. “What?” Paige asked, her voice laced with amusement.

Azzi groaned at being caught, throwing her head back against the seat. “Stop driving like that.”

Paige laughed, the sound warm and teasing as she gave her a quick side glance. “Like what, Azzi?”

Azzi waved her arms in Paige’s direction, clearly flustered. “Like that! You know what you’re doing.”

Paige grinned wider, unable to hide how much she was enjoying this. “I’m literally just driving. You’re the one making it weird.”

Azzi let out a frustrated noise, crossing her arms and slouching slightly in her seat. “No, you’re doing something. I don’t know what, but it’s distracting.”

Paige chuckled, shifting her grip on the wheel—whether to mess with Azzi or just to adjust, Azzi couldn’t tell, but it didn’t help. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but this is how I always drive. Guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”

Azzi shot her a glare but couldn’t suppress the small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re so annoying, you know that?”

Paige glanced over briefly, her smirk softening into something more playful. “Yeah, but you clearly like it.”

Azzi huffed, turning her gaze out the window to avoid giving Paige the satisfaction of seeing her flustered. But her resolve didn’t last long. Her eyes betrayed her, flickering back to Paige’s hands on the steering wheel. The way her fingers flexed just slightly, the grip firm and sure—it was ridiculous how something so mundane could have Azzi’s thoughts spiraling.

Paige caught her again, and her smirk deepened. “Are you seriously doing it again dude?”

Azzi groaned, slouching in her seat. “Oh my God, stop.”

“Stop what?” Paige asked innocently, purposefully shifting her grip on the wheel, her fingers flexing just a little more dramatically this time.

Azzi covered her face with her hands, her voice muffled as she muttered, “I hate you so much.”

Paige laughed, the sound light and teasing. “No, you don’t.” She shifted her hands again, dragging the moment out, clearly enjoying Azzi’s growing frustration.

“Paige,” Azzi warned, her voice low, though it lacked any real bite.

“What?” Paige asked, feigning innocence as she glanced over at her. “I’m just driving.”

Azzi groaned, leaning back in her seat. “Oh my God, just stop. Why do you even drive like that?”

“Like what?” Paige asked innocently.

Azzi let out a frustrated noise and covered her face with her hands. “You’re doing it on purpose now. I know you are.”

Paige chuckled, her laugh warm and teasing. “Maybe.” She then switched driving hands as she dropped her right hand from the wheel, letting it fall casually onto Azzi’s leg.

Azzi froze, her breath hitching as Paige’s fingers rested just above her knee, her touch light but deliberate. Her wide eyes snapped to Paige, who kept her gaze firmly on the road, her smirk now bordering on a full grin.

“What are you doing?” Azzi demanded, her voice higher than she intended.

Paige shrugged, her tone casual. “Nothing. Just resting my hand. Relax.”

Azzi’s hands shot up in disbelief, gesturing toward the offending hand on her leg. “Relax? Are you kidding me? Move your hand before you crash!”

Paige laughed, giving her thigh the faintest squeeze before replying, “I’m not gonna crash from touching your leg, Azzi. Chill.”

Azzi groaned, squeezing her eyes shut for a second before snapping, “Fine! Move it before I lose my mind.”

Paige’s laugh deepened as she finally slid her hand back to the wheel. “You’re so easy to mess with.”

Azzi groaned, slumping into her seat and covering her face again. “I hate you. I actually hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” Paige replied, glancing over with a playful glint in her eye. “Admit it, you like when I mess with you.”

Azzi huffed but couldn’t suppress the warmth spreading across her face—or the tiny smile tugging at her lips. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

Paige smirked, her confidence only growing. “I’m not the one having a heart attack over getting their leg touched.”

Azzi glared at her but couldn’t fight the laugh bubbling out. She shook her head, muttering under her breath. “I’m going to lose my mind before we get back to Connecticut.”

Paige glanced at her again, the teasing replaced with something softer, though her smirk lingered. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” she murmured, her voice quieter but no less bold.

Azzi bit her lip, forcing herself to look out the window again, but she couldn’t hide the way her cheeks burned—or the way her heart raced whenever Paige pushed her buttons just like this.

…

The teasing had died down as the miles stretched on, replaced by a comfortable silence. Azzi was staring out the window, watching the trees blur past, but her mind was thinking about any and everything related to the girl sitting next to her. She glanced at Paige, her jaw set in quiet concentration as she navigated the highway. Finally, Azzi broke the silence.

“Can I ask you something?”

Paige raised an eyebrow, glancing over briefly. “Yeah, of course.”

Azzi hesitated, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. “Why did everyone used to be so worried about you? I remember hearing stuff, but no one really explained. And when I started going with you it was never that bad so why’d they make it such a big deal before?”

Paige’s hands tightened slightly on the wheel. She let out a slow breath, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. “That’s... kind of a long-ish story.”

Azzi turned toward her, leaning slightly against the door. “We’ve got time.” Her voice was soft, no pressure, just genuine curiosity.

Paige laughed lightly, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Okay, but you can’t freak out, it was a long time ago, alright?”

Azzi frowned but nodded. “Alright.”

Paige shifted in her seat, adjusting her grip on the wheel. “It was after the Final Four. A couple of weeks after we lost. I just... wasn’t in a good place. I blamed myself for everything—every missed shot, every mistake. It felt like I let everyone down. So, I did what I always do. I locked myself in the gym.”

Azzi’s brow furrowed. “For how long?”

Paige shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “A couple of days, maybe?I didn’t realize I wasn’t really eating or drinking water. Just working out, watching film, shooting until I couldn’t stand anymore.” She gave a small, self-deprecating laugh. “Literally.”

Azzi’s stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”

“Evina found me passed out,” Paige admitted quietly, her voice almost lost under the hum of the car. “It was just dehydration and not eating enough, nothing serious. But after that, everyone started treating me like I was fragile or something.”

Azzi stared at her, the air catching in her throat. “Paige...”

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Paige said quickly, waving it off. “Dehydration, low blood sugar—nothing serious.”

“That is serious,” Azzi countered, her tone sharp with concern.

Paige shrugged, a faint bitterness in her smile. “Maybe. But at the time, it felt like I deserved it, you know? I wasn’t happy, Az. Not with basketball, not with myself. I basically hated myself. It was like... no matter how much time I spent in the gym, it didn’t make up for how I felt. I just wanted to work hard enough to forget, but instead, I ended up running myself into the ground.”

Azzi’s brow furrowed as she processed Paige’s words. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Paige let out a soft laugh. “Who? Tell them what? That I couldn’t handle the pressure? That I felt like a failure? Everyone was looking at me to bounce back, to lead, to be Paige Bueckers. I couldn’t let them see me crack.” She paused, her voice barely above a whisper. “I felt so alone. Like no one understood what I was going through. So I didn’t talk to anyone and just spent my days in the gym.”

Azzi’s chest tightened. “Paige, that’s... I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you went through all of that by yourself.”

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Paige murmured. “It’s not exactly the kind of thing you can just explain to people.”

Azzi opened her mouth to respond, but Paige spoke first. “My knee’s starting to ache a little.” She glanced at Azzi, her tone lighter but her eyes searching. “There’s a diner at the next exit. Let’s stop for a bit.”

Azzi frowned slightly, sensing something beneath the excuse, but nodded. “Yeah, okay. You sure you’re good?”

“Yeah,” Paige said, her lips curving into a faint smile. “I just... want to sit for a bit. And, you know, look at you while we talk instead of staring at the road.”

Azzi felt her cheeks warm at the admission but said nothing as Paige took the exit.

Once they were seated in a quiet booth at the corner of the diner, Azzi finally spoke. “I didn’t know it was that bad for you.”

Paige stirred her water with her straw, her expression contemplative. “I didn’t either, not at first. I thought I could handle it. But looking back... I was just running from how I felt.” She glanced up at Azzi, her eyes soft. “You know what I mean?”

Azzi nodded slowly. “Yes actually. When I tore my ACL, I thought my career was over. I didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone go to rehab. My parents practically had to drag me out of the house some days and force me to shower. I felt like I’d never be the same player again, like I let everyone down. It was... dark for a while.”

Paige leaned forward to let Azzi know she was listening. “How did you get through it?”

Azzi shrugged. “Time, mostly. And people not giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself. But it’s still hard, you know? Some days, it still feels like the world’s too heavy to carry.”

Paige nodded, her gaze steady on Azzi. “Yeah. I get that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, the kind where neither of them felt the need to fill the space. Paige finally broke it with a soft laugh. “You’re really easy to talk to, you know that?”

Azzi smiled, her eyes warm. “So are you.”

As they sat there, the hum of the diner around them, Paige felt a strange sense of peace settle over her.

The conversation deepened as they sat in the quiet corner of the diner, their voices low but steady. Paige found herself opening up about things she hadn’t thought about in years, things she’d never told anyone else—her childhood, her family, the moments that shaped her love for basketball. Azzi listened intently, chiming in with her own stories. They talked for hours and didn’t even notice.

“You were a troublemaker as a kid, huh?” Paige teased, leaning back in the booth.

Azzi grinned. “Not trouble, exactly. I just had... energy. My mom says I never sat still, which is probably why sports were the only thing that worked for me.”

Paige smirked. “Explains a lot.”

Azzi nudged her foot under the table. “And you? Let me guess—perfect student, teacher’s pet, MVP of the kickball team?”

Paige chuckled. “Something like that. I always wanted to be the best at everything, even if it didn’t matter. Like, who cares if you’re the fastest at spelling quizzes?”

“Apparently you did,” Azzi teased, her smile softening. “That competitive streak must’ve made you fun to grow up with.”

Paige shrugged, her tone turning reflective. “It was a lot of pressure, though. Some of it I put on myself, but a lot came from... expectations. Like, if I wasn’t the best, what was the point?”

Azzi nodded in understanding. “I get that. I think that’s why I struggled so much after my injury. For so long, basketball was who I was. When I couldn’t play, it felt like I didn’t know myself anymore. I didn’t know what to do day in and day out.”

Paige reached across the table, her fingers brushing Azzi’s hand briefly before she pulled back. “I’m really glad you didn’t give up.”

Azzi’s eyes softened. “Me too.”

Their waiter approached, setting down Azzi’s dessert—a large slice of chocolate cake with a swirl of whipped cream on top. Paige shook her head, laughing softly. “Of course you’d order that.”

Azzi picked up her fork with a grin. “What can I say? I’m predictable.” She took a bite, humming in satisfaction before holding a forkful out toward Paige. “Here, try it.”

Paige wrinkled her nose. “You’re always trying to get me to eat sugar.”

“Because it’s not as fun when I have to eat it by myself,” Azzi shot back, waving the fork in front of her. “C’mon, just one bite. It’s really good.”

Paige sighed dramatically but leaned forward, letting Azzi feed her the bite of cake. She chewed, her face carefully neutral before finally swallowing. “Okay, fine. It’s good.”

Azzi smirked, leaning back triumphantly. “Told you.”

When the check came, Paige didn’t give Azzi a chance to reach for her wallet. She slid her card into the leather folder and handed it to the waiter without a word.

Azzi arched a brow. “You never even let me try to pay for anything.”

Paige shrugged, standing up and grabbing her coat. “You’ll get the next one.”

“Next one?” Azzi echoed, a teasing lilt in her voice.

Paige glanced over her shoulder. “Unless this is the last road trip we ever take together?”

Azzi shook her head, laughing as they headed back to the car. The air outside was crisp, but Paige felt warm, the lingering glow of their conversation following her as she slid into the driver’s seat.

Azzi settled in beside her, glancing over as Paige started the engine. “You know,” she said softly, “I like this.”

Paige glanced at her. “What?”

“This,” Azzi said, gesturing between them. “Whatever this is. Us just... being.”

Paige smiled, her heart full in a way she couldn’t quite put into words. “Yeah. Me too.”

…

By the time they pulled into the parking lot in Connecticut, the car was silent except for the low hum of the engine. Azzi was sound asleep, her head resting gently against the window, her breaths slow and even. Paige turned off the car and let herself sit for a moment, her eyes drifting over to Azzi. She took in the way the soft moonlight highlighted her features, her peaceful expression making Paige’s chest tighten.

Paige smiled to herself, leaning back in her seat. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered under her breath, the words barely audible.

Reaching out, Paige gently ran her hand down the side of Azzi’s face, her fingers brushing her cheek lightly. The touch caused Azzi to stir, her brows furrowing as she slowly blinked awake.

“Hey,” Paige said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “We’re back.”

Azzi stretched slightly, her movements sluggish as she tried to wake herself up. Eventually Paige stepped out of the car, walking around to Azzi’s door. She opened it, leaning in with a teasing smile. “Come on before I carry you.”

Azzi snorted, her voice still thick with sleep. “Paige, you can’t carry me.”

Paige scoffed, a mischievous glint sparking in her eyes. “Oh, really?”

Before Azzi could protest, Paige slid one arm under her legs and the other behind her back, lifting her out of the car with surprising ease. Azzi squealed, grabbing onto Paige’s shoulders. “Put me down!” she yelped, her voice pitching higher than usual.

Paige grinned, clearly enjoying herself. “What’s wrong? I thought you said I couldn’t carry you.”

“Paige, your knee!” Azzi scolded, trying to sound serious but failing as laughter bubbled out. “You just got cleared to play again—don’t go ruining it!”

Paige hummed in thought at the mention of being cleared to play. “Hmm...”

“No,” Azzi interrupted, narrowing her eyes even as she laughed.

“Pleaseee?” Paige said, dragging the word out dramatically, her smile widening as she put Azzi down gently onto the pavement.

Azzi groaned, but there was no real annoyance in it. “You’re literally insane,” she muttered, already knowing where this was heading.

“Come on Az please,” Paige pressed, her tone playful but pleading.

Azzi sighed, finally relenting. “Fine,” she said, shaking her head. “But you’re getting my shoes.”

Paige’s face lit up like she’d won a championship. “Deal!”

Azzi chuckled, turning back toward the car to get back in the passenger seat. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to fight you on this.”

Paige didn’t respond, already jogging toward the suite with a bounce in her step. “I’ll be right back!” she called over her shoulder.

Azzi shook her head, smiling despite herself. “She’s gonna be the death of me,” she muttered, getting back in the car as Paige ran inside to grab their basketball shoes, her energy contagious even in the middle of the night.

…

If Azzi didn’t know any better, she’d think Paige was on something. The blonde had been in the gym for hours, bouncing off the walls with energy, clearly ecstatic to be freely shooting a basketball again—even if she wasn’t cleared for contact.

Azzi, on the other hand, was drained. She’d given up about thirty minutes ago, peeling off her basketball shoes and resigning herself to sitting on the floor, watching Paige’s every move. She leaned back on her hands, her chest rising and falling steadily as she caught her breath. Her eyes following Paige darting around the court, making shot after shot, her smile brighter than the overhead light they had turned on.

Eventually, Paige bounded over to her and, without warning, dramatically sprawled across Azzi’s lap, her sweaty body pressing against Azzi’s.

Azzi groaned, trying for annoyance but failing as her lips curved into a small smile. “Ew, Paige, you’re sweaty.” She didn’t, however, make any effort to push her off.

Paige grinned up at her, clearly unbothered. “Alright, I think I’m done.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow, feigning shock. “Oh wow, it only took three hours. Truly a miracle.”

Paige laughed softly, her smile warm and unguarded as she looked up at Azzi. Something in her expression softened, and for a moment, the only sound was their steady breathing.

Azzi hesitated, her chest tightening as she gazed down at Paige. She reached out instinctively, brushing a strand of sweaty hair out of Paige’s face. Her fingers lingered for a second before she spoke, her voice quiet and a little shaky. “I really love your eyes.”

Paige blinked as her cheeks flushed faintly as her grin softened into something more genuine. “I love your smile,” she murmured, her voice steady but low, like it was meant just for Azzi.

They stared at each other for a long moment, the air between them hung with unspoken emotions. Paige’s expression was completely open, her gaze searching Azzi’s as if she were trying to commit every detail of her face to memory.

The closeness sent Azzi’s heart racing, the feeling so intense it almost overwhelmed her. So she quickly pushed Paige off her lap and stood up, clearing her throat. “Come on,” she said, trying to mask the flustered edge in her voice.

Paige smiled to herself as she got up and followed Azzi. But instead of heading toward the gym’s front doors and her car, she grabbed Azzi’s hand, intertwining their fingers and tugging her in the opposite direction.

Azzi groaned lightly, though she didn’t pull away. “Where are we going now, Paige?”

Paige glanced back, her grin teasing.

“We’re gonna watch the sunrise.”

Azzi stopped complaining immediately, her curiosity piqued as Paige led her to the elevator.

When they reached the rooftop, the early morning air hit them, but Azzi immediately vetoed going outside. “No you’re gonna get us sick,” she scolded. “We’re sweaty, and it’s freezing.”

Paige laughed but didn’t argue, following Azzi to a spot by the glass windows that offered a perfect view of the sky. They sat down side by side, the first light of dawn spilling through the panes and casting a soft glow over them.

Azzi rested her head on Paige’s shoulder, her body relaxing into the blonde. She reached for Paige’s hand, her fingers lightly playing with Paige’s in an absentminded gesture that felt far more intimate than either of them acknowledged.

They watched in silence as the sky gradually brightened, the world slowly coming alive with shades of pink, purple, and gold.

Paige turned her head slightly, resting her cheek against Azzi’s hair. “Thanks for coming with me today,” she said softly, her voice low and sincere.

Azzi tilted her head up to meet Paige’s gaze, her lips curving into a small smile. “Always.”

They stayed like that, wrapped in the quiet comfort of each other’s presence, letting the moment stretch until the sun fully broke the horizon, casting its warm light over them.

Eventually, as the last traces of night faded and the sun rose higher into the sky, Paige sighed and stretched. “Well, I guess we should go finally get some sleep.”

Azzi agreed, lifting her head off Paige’s shoulder and standing up. Paige followed suit, and the two of them walked back toward the elevator, hands still lingering together.

Once they were back in the car, the drive to Paige’s dorm was quiet, the peacefulness of the morning lingering between them. By the time they arrived, the exhaustion from their trip hit them all at once.

They both took quick showers, Azzi finding herself some clothes in Paige’s drawer while Paige showered.

Paige slumped onto her bed, pulling the covers up. Azzi followed suit, crawling under the blankets next to her.

As the lights went off, the silence of the room filled with the soft sounds of their breathing. Despite the exhaustion, neither of them wanted to drift off just yet. They exchanged a glance, a small smile shared between them, as they settled into the warmth of the bed.

"Goodnight, Az," Paige whispered, her voice gentle but filled with something deeper, something unspoken.

Azzi smiled softly, closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Paige."

…

A week or so later, Paige was sitting in the training room, her legs stretched out on the bench as she scrolled through her phone. Her lips curled into a smile, her eyes lighting up as she read whatever was on her screen.

Evina, who was seated across from her, noticed immediately and let out a laugh. “What’s got you all smiley over there?”

Paige glanced up, caught off guard but unable to wipe the grin off her face. “It’s nothing,” she said, her tone too casual to be convincing. She glanced back at her phone before quickly adding, “Azzi just sent me something. She’s on her way now.”

Evina raised an eyebrow, her smirk widening. She’d been waiting for an opening like this. “Speaking of Azzi, what’s going on with you two?”

Paige froze, her fingers halting mid-scroll. “What do you mean?” she asked, feigning ignorance, but the blush creeping up her cheeks betrayed her.

Evina leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she gave Paige a knowing look. “Come on, Paige. You two are pretty close now. Like, real close.”

Paige let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head. “Nah, she’s just like... my best friend now,” she said, her voice a little too quick and defensive.

Evina wasn’t buying it. She tilted her head, her expression skeptical. “Paige, be fucking for real,” she said, her tone teasing but firm.

Before Paige could respond, the door to the training room opened, and Azzi walked in. She headed straight for Paige without hesitation, a warm smile on her face as she leaned down to wrap her arms around the blonde in a quick but affectionate hug.

Paige blushed even deeper under Evina’s gaze, her hands lingering a second too long on Azzi’s back before she pulled away.

Evina smirked, leaning back in her seat with her arms crossed. “Wow,” she said, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm. “No love for Mama E?”

Azzi laughed, the sound light and unbothered, as she turned to Evina. “Alright, alright,” she said, walking over to give her a quick side hug. “You happy now?”

Evina shook her head with a grin, glancing pointedly between the two of them. “Oh, I’m very happy. This is way better than anything I could’ve imagined.”

Paige groaned, burying her face in her hands, while Azzi, not really knowing the context, just chuckled and perched herself on the bench next to her.

Evina wasn’t about to let up, but Paige shot her a pleading look, mouthing, Don’t. Evina raised her hands in mock surrender, but the mischievous twinkle in her eye promised this conversation wasn’t over.

[click4rainy]

Wade Wilson Boyfriend HeadCanons

👽:slowly but surely getting back into my writing 💅🏼 (not proof read just super horny like a clown 🤡 HONKAH HONKAH)

SFW ♥️

★ Wade is a silly guy. So silly in fact, he’ll crack jokes or shoot a sarcastic comment your way—mid argument. “How am I supposed to listen when you look this good right now?” Fear not! Because he knows when to shut up. (When you tell him to)

★ Bro defo has a Roblox account. Not elaborating.

★ Despite his chaotic and reckless behavior, Wade is actually super protective and would go to extreme lengths to keep you safe. And then some. “Hey! Back off! Don’t you fuck with her! Unless you wanna fuck with me too. In that case we’ll need a sit down discussion for—“ “WADE!” “Right—sorry.”

★ Expect big, wild romantic gestures. Like standing outside your window while holding up a boom box. (playing ‘what you won’t do for love’ by Bobby Caldwell) or (attempting at) writing your name with fireworks. (There were definitely ‘unexpected’ explosions)

★ “I know it’s only Tuesday, but I totally, legally rented a helicopter so we can pretend we’re in the aveng—no? Okay…plan B then: Breakfast in bed with (penis) questionable pancakes.”

★ Cuddle bug Wade. Are we surprised? This man lives off of physical touch and affection. Wrapping you up in his arms, not letting you go with a shit eating grin. “Nope, you’re not leaving this couch. We’re practicing the ancient art of Wade Wrapping, which requires at least three hours of cuddles, just sayin.”

★ He is nonstop teasing you. It’s a hobby for him, really. (And his love language) Coming up with silly nicknames for you, challenging you to random games or chores, he’s not below making fun of himself to see you smile either.

★ “Oh-ho? You think you can wipe the track with me in Mario kart? That’s cute.” “Honey—you look fine. Approachable even. Unlike me…” (he says while laying limbless on the bed. Literally….)

★ Uses his dark humor to comfort you in times of ‘what the actual fuck?’ Knowing how to turn even the bleakest of moments into something a little lighter. “Hey, I know life might suck granny tits right now…but at least we’re not in a rom-com where one of us has to die or something worse for the other to grow emotionally, right?”

★ Unwaveringly supportive of you in any conflict. He is going to take your side. Every. Single. Time. Backing you up even if he has literally no idea what’s going on or why. “You said Rick was out of line at work today? Well guess who’s getting a strongly worded letter in the form of interpretive dance in the parking lot?” “Is it Ri—“ “it’s Rick.”

★ Wade loves experimenting in the kitchen with you! Attempting to make meals that sometimes end up in hilarious disasters, followed up by a take out order.

★ He breaks this…’fourth wall’ sometimes. Like looking off into the distance and talking to an invisible audience or camera while addressing you. This dead ass bewilders you at times. But mostly you roll your eyes at his antics.

★ “Can you believe this shit?” He’ll ask, turning to an imaginary audience. “I’m over here being the perfect boyfriend—funny, handsome, protective, all that—and you guys still think Peter Parker is the ‘Ideal Boyfriend’ pffft. Get real.” *turns back to you* “anyway, where were we?”

★ This overgrown man child is a PDA enthusiast. Unashamed of hugging, kissing, or trying to dip you during a playful dance in public. He doesn’t care, he’s proud to be with you and wants everyone to know it. “You know what this sidewalk needs? A spontaneous make out session”

★ One hundred percent would insist on wearing matching or theme outfits. Whether it’s full on costumes or something little like matching socks. “Ta-Da! Matching Taco Cat shirts—no, no. Don’t fight it. This is how we show the world we’re a team. Through peak fashion choices.”

★ Loves movie nights. They’re full of commentary, with your boyfriend narrating or making fun of the movie plots. He’d insist on watching rom-coms or action movies for sure.

★ You’ll receive unconventional love letters in the form of doodles, short jokes, or notes saying “I love you more than The Golden Girls. And that’s saying something. ;)”

★ Wade is a pretty chill dude. He’s not overboard with jealousy. But that won’t stop the man from making his classic (not so jokey) jokes when he feels like someone might be getting too close to you. “Oh, flirting? With you? Cute. Should I go over there and casually mention that I’m the love of your life and also really good with sharp objects?”

★ Beneath all the jokes and chaos, he has moments of genuine, heartfelt affection. Whispering his love and gratitude for you at unexpected times. “I know I never take shit for real. But I’m serious about you, about us. You’re my safe space, the one part of my life that makes sense on this stupid chunk of rock floating in space.”

★ Remembers odd little details about you. Showing it with unexpected gifts that align perfectly with your interests. (Even if they’re a bit off beat.) “I saw this super limited edition action figure of (favorite character). I had to get it for you—don’t ask me how, just say thank you and let’s run—“

★ Randomly belting out terrible renditions of love songs at the top of his lungs, just to get a laugh from you.

★ Acts tough for your amusement, like he’ll pretend to be all macho around your friends to make you laugh. “Yeah babe, I’m like, indestructible. Just gotta…” *struggles to open a jar of pickles* “wait—hold on. This jar is definitely cheating…”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

NSFW 🍆💦

★ Wade love love LOVESSS making you watch while playing with your pussy. Using his mouth, fingers and all kinds of cute little toys.

★ Tying your hands together, behind your back and sitting you in front of the mirror with your legs spread wide as he slowly circles your clit with a bullet vibrator, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You see how fucking wet you are for me, baby?” “Look. At. This~” “did I say to look away? Didn’t think so…”

★ He’s into all kinds of crazy shit—high key an exhibitionist.

★ Fucking you in a theatre bathroom, pressing you up against the stall while he covers your mouth, dipping the head of his cock teasingly into your aching cunt.

★ “I don’t give one shit if someone hears us, I need you. Now.” “Shhh baby, gotta stay quiet if you wanna cum.” “Stay still now…”

★ Eating you out in the back of the car, hands kneading your plush thighs while looking up at you with that knowing, shit-eating grin. Not even bothering to wipe you from his chin.

★ Struggling to keep your eyes on the man, a red flush taking over your face as the vibrations of his groans send shocks of pleasure through your entire body.

★ Fingering you under the table/using a remote control vibrator on you when you’re out having dinner. “Yeah that’s it for me and uh, what about you babe?” He asks nonchalantly, as if he weren’t bumping the bullet to its highest intensity or running his fingers over your panty clad pussy. All the tasty stuff. It’s the thrill of almost being caught for him.

★ Baby girl also LOVES when you take control. Straddling him, tying him up to the bed, slapping his face. He’s fucking into it.

★ F-fuckk~ wan—wanna touch you so bad~” he whimpers, hips bucking involuntarily while you ride him, bouncing in his lap with your hands on his shoulders and his cuffed. “Mmff—need to cum…please, please—I’ll do whatever you wa—aaah, fffuck!”

★ Wade loves to buy you new toys/lingerie sets all the time! He’ll come through the door with a bag full of new things to try out or on. “Oh, come on—put the bunny ears on…I’ll let you do that one thing you like.”

★ Costumes, dressing up, role play. Cops and robbers, Professor and student, Master and pet. He loves that shit and has a lot of fun with it.

★ “You have the right to remain silent, on your knees, now.” He’ll smirk, cuffing your hands behind your back, trailing a finger down your cheek before fucking your face. “Cock hungry bitch, aren’t ya? Such a good girl…” he croons, pulling at your leash.

★ “You call that begging, honey? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to be louder than that if you want me to fuck you silly.” He teases, sending a sharp smack to your ass while prodding at your slick pussy with his shaft, making you arch and whine out for him.

★ If you’re into it, he has no issue with knife/gun play. “How does it feel…?” he purrs into your ear, slowly sliding the cold metal up your stomach, circling your belly button before trailing up your chest, then collarbone, pressing the blade/barrel to your throat/temple. “Scary? Hot? Scary-Hot?”

★ Loves making you squirt, finger fucking you into oblivion, thumb pressed against your clit until you can’t take anymore. “Fuck yeah, baby.” He pants, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and cleaning them with a simple ‘pop’.

★ “Mhhh…” Wade hums in delight before shoving the same fingers into your mouth—pushing past your teeth, forcing you to taste yourself with a groan “You’re so yummy, don’t you think?”

★ If you’re being a brat, expect proper punishment. “Oooh, talking back to me, huh?” He’ll ask, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep eye contact. “Watch that damn mouth of yours, pretty bitch. And keep riding me—I didn’t say stop.”

★ He’ll make you grind your hips until you’re sore. It’s so fucking good it hurts. “Awww, my poor baby…look at you crying and riding. You must be exhausted, hmm?” Wade grunts, bouncing you on top his lap as if you were a rag doll. His cock slamming into you, hitting that sweet spot—never missing a beat. “Keep going—be a good girl and keep going…”

★ Once you’re both a spent, panting, boneless mess beside each other, he’ll shower you with praise and pepper your face with kisses, combing your unkempt hair with his fingers as he caresses your arm.

★ Wade would set up a diy spa in the bathroom for you. Complete with cucumber slices, a glass of wine (or whatever you want) and a bath that’s wayyy too bubbly. He’d try and give you a foot massage while joking “Only the royal treatment for my queen. Minus the actual royalty…those guys were more fucked up than half of Alabama…”

👽:I wanna be SAVED Deadpool PLEASEEEE SLUT ME OUTTTT

[jetra4ivor]

So… uh… we’ve got our first look at the live action Minecraft Movie and uh… not only is it super weird to see hyper realistic versions of blocky animals… they’re doubling down on the god damn Hoglin raiding storyline both Dungeons and Legends failed to gain interest in… the human characters in this place look really out of place. It’s essentially another isekai storyline where humans from the real world visit a fantasy place…

The comments under the video are hilarious. Clearly NONODY wanted this. Everyone just wanted a fully animated movie like the kinds we’ve been having on YouTube for the past 15 years. But the top most favorited comment is this one, and I couldn’t agree more:

Yup… you guys had no idea how good you had it. MCSM doesn’t look quite as bad as you thought it was, eh? Man, if this movie does one positive thing for the Minecraft community at large I hope it brings a lot of people BACK to Storymode and gives people a new appreciation for how great those games actually were.

(Someone find out the like/dislike ratio, please. I gotta know)

[carlyraejepsans]

Technically speaking, he was a light sleeper.

Which was just hilarious for two different reasons. One, he topped at twenty pounds soaking wet—and that was after he'd reached for the towel. The joke basically wrote itself. The other reason was, of course, that nobody believed him. Honestly, he could kinda get it. It's pretty hard for irony to escape him, even on a bad day. The way he saw it, though, maybe he wouldn't take as many naps as he did, if he just managed to get one to stick.

...heh, nah. Probably not. Late to rise, early to bed, makes a man lazy or clinically dead, or however the saying went. Still.

The kid stiffened against his ribcage and that was all it took for his eyes to fly open.

The popcorn ceiling of the living room stared back at him through the darkness in all its tacky glory. Now that's another joke that writes itself. It wasn't a movie night at Tori's without some comment about her taste in decor. That always earned him a round of groans. Or a halfhearted pillow to the head. It was one of his favorite moodsetters.

His hand dangled in the air at his side. Not on the floor. Just a few months earlier, that alone would've told him he wasn't in his room, but oh boy, had things changed. He had a bedframe now, not to mention enough self respect for one. AND fitted sheets—that was a lifetime first. You had to be careful not to fall off, but all things considered, it was the fanciest bed he'd slept on since he'd tried using his worker bonus at MTT's. If he risked falling off the bed now, he'd risked never finding his way out then. Not to mention the guy in the other room calling for room service the entire night. He almost retired the midnight snacks bit on Undyne out of sympathy the next time she came over.

Almost.

The kid's head twitched.

Right. Popcorn. Living room. Springy mattress. He didn't need to smoke a pipe to realize he'd fallen asleep on the sofa. Didn't need a goofy hat either to see that someone must've thought he'd make a good pillow. Go figure. He'd gotten real good at making himself look softer under his clothes, but still, it wasn't exactly the kind of magic a guy could keep up with his eyes closed and a pillow behind his head. He just hoped they weren't too uncomfortable.

He must've dozed off sometime after Papyrus left the house and Toriel turned in for the night, 'cause nobody had stopped by to throw a blanket over him. Most nights that would've been fine. Nice thought aside, skeletons didn't really feel cold "to their bones", on account of lacking all the soft and fleshy stuff on top of 'em.

Yeah, well. Most nights. Most nights he didn't have a human kid sleeping on top of him, either.

Sans looked down. He resisted the urge to blow a strand of hair out of their face.

Most nights, skeletons didn't have hearts beating against their ribs.

Ba-dum—ba-dum—ba-dum.

He would've asked them if it felt any different, having it beat on the other side of their ribcage, if they hadn't already crawled their way inside his months before.

Heh. Not like they hadn't done the same with everyone else. Or ever asked for permission, the little freeloader. But he supposed that part came free with being monsters. The whole HOPE and compassion and everything nice kinda shtick. As a rule, they were, uh, very prone to attachment. It was hardwired into their SOULs or something. Of course, he knew better than anyone that compassion had its cost, and he'd ran low on HOPE for a long, long while, but...

There was a ray of light coming through the kitchen at night like he hadn't seen in an even longer time. The kind with a moon and stars hung at the other end of it.

Yeah. Maybe he could afford something nice for once.

Frisk stirred again. He kept as still as possible as they wriggled around, pushing themself off of him—trying, he assumed, not to shove their boney little knees somewhere unpleasant.

Then they flopped to their side and fell to the floor with a thud.

See, THAT'S the kinda issue you don't have when you have no self respect.

Slowly, the kid got to their feet again. They stood perfectly straight for a moment, then took an unsteady step forward. Then another.

To call it "walking" would've been an act of mercy. It was more of an ambling. Maybe a shambling. Sans watched their journey towards the kitchen mentally listing of adverbs. Stumbling. Fumbling. Trailing. That one didn't have a mbl in it, points for originality.

Mostly, he was ecstatic. Nothing made for fun breakfast stories quite like sleepwalking. And well, he hadn't had one of those since Papyrus turned fifteen and stopped sleeping entirely.

When the kid finally reached the fridge, they all but shoved their head inside it. He heard them do... something in there. There were definitely teeth involved. He was about to ask them to bring some goods back to homebase.

The door of the fridge clicked closed.

He didn't.

Then, he almost made a joke about forgetting their headlights on, but thought otherwise. He was glad he'd left his own off.

Besides, it was the taillights that were supposed to glow red.

Eyesockets dark and still pretending to sleep, he kept watch as the kid turned around and retraced their shambling steps to the living room like a miniature zombie.

Halfway to the sofa, they stopped, making a small sound like a grumbling of annoyance. For a second their eyes grew even more unfocused.

"Sleep," they rasped out in a low, halting whisper, "I saved you a crick in the neck."

It took him a second to register that the kid wasn't talking to him. Mostly 'cause Frisk didn't speak. To him. Or ever.

By the time they reached their starting point again, his excitement had died off into quiet confusion and quickly curdled into caution. They stopped at the edge of the sofa and fixed him with a stare, looking at where they'd been sleeping before. Sans waited.

"I am not doing that," they rasped to themself again.

Then they climbed onto the other end of the sofa and curled around themself as small as possible. So tightly it looked like they wanted to tuck their tiny body into a ball.

When they stopped moving, they didn't move again.

Sans didn't lift a finger. His brain whirred in his skull, ready to chalk up the past few minutes to the sleepwalking and forget they ever happened. Staring up at the popcorn ceiling again, though, he couldn't shake off a wave of uneasiness; like he'd seen something he wasn't quite supposed to put together.

Any man would've spent the night awake.

He cast a glance at the kid, huddled in their corner. There was no heartbeat against his ribs now: something about the silence felt foreboding.

Sans closed his eyes.

Ten minutes later, of course, he was out like a light.

[cb-works13]

List of Things from The Book of Bill

When trying to dissect this book, I forgot about how it was, you know, an actual book. There are so many random things that are now canon or just hilarious because of this cursed thing, and here are just some of my favorites:

Bill Cipher has possessed a pope before

The reader murders the number 7,368

Our universe sits in a trading card owned by an Unfathomable Being named "Dennis"

Bill Cipher is implied to be our father (however, he refuses to comment on if he is Phineas' father)

The reader cannot read on how to get into heaven due to perverted thoughts

The reader murders Scrimbles the Elf

Guillermo Del Torso has a script for a National Treasure 4 movie

Bill Cipher was planning on having a page about Shermie Pines but replaced it with silly straws

Puppets were once living beings

Bill made Dipper fall for THREE SEPARATE AUTHOR IDENTITY DREAMS.

Bill and the Henchmaniacs watched a barber pole go up for two billion years

Time Baby watches Cocomelon

Bill hates the song "it's a small world after all"

Bill causes a scene at a Mexican restaurant. While drunk over losing Ford.

[kingofbodyrolls]

Seokjin fic recs 2023

In honor of Seokjin’s birthday, I want to share my favorite fanfictions that I’ve read this year. Although I did not read as many as I wanted to, the list will be short. But! I’ve leave my ‘to read’ list at the bottom to make up for it 💜I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗ 

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (💜)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻. 

⭐Knocked by @sailoryooons [10.6K] // ksj x f.reader // roommates to lovers // 🥵😂

📝 Living with people is difficult, but all things considered, your new roommate isn’t terrible. He cooks, he cleans, and if you had to be honest - incredibly attractive. But his habit of streaming until the early hours of the morning while yelling and making other questionable noises has pushed you to the limit. You’ve finally decided to risk your sanity and put it all on the line with a reckless bet in hopes of getting some peace and quiet at night.

🗨️ This was so hilarious, and the build up and pay-off was really good 👏

⭐Sleepover by @peachypinkygloss [7.3K] // ksj x f.reader x pjm // bestfriends!au, threesome // 🥵

📝 You spend a night with your two best friends at their dorm room. You should have known that they wanted to do more than just watching movies.

🗨️ Omg this was so good, the smut 😘🥵

⭐I Don’t Think I’m Okay by @ressjeon [4K] // ksj x f.reader // slice of life, idiots to lovers!au, childhood friends!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 With many chances wasted, you couldn’t even resist anymore.

🗨️ A cute little Seokjin fic 🥰

⭐The IKEA Test by @yoon-bug [9.1K] // ksj x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰😂

📝 One review on IKEA’s website called the BRIMNES bed frame the leading cause of divorce due to its difficult assembly. You and Seokjin had laughed when you read it. Now, you weren’t so sure.

🗨️ Their banter and all the sexual innuendos are damn hilarious! I thoroughly enjoyed this very much 💜 

I’m really sad that I didn’t get to read more Seokjin fics 😭 I have a lot on my ‘to read’ list, so I’ll share some that I’m really excited to read when i have more time (and I know they’ll be great because they are written by amazing people!) ✨

‘To read’ list ⬇️

Fast Lane by @yminie [20.6K]

Cherry Topper by @kth1 [17.6K]

Final Sleigh by @floralseokjin [23.3K]

Stuck with you by @taleasnewastime [29.6K]

Small Tuna Fish by @floralseokjin [17.1K]

Off Limits by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Raspberry truffles by @gukyi [5K]

Christmas Warfare by @gimmethatagustd [14.5K]

9 Months to Fall in Love by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Redamancy by @jeonggukingdom [7.1K]

Sunday by @here2bbtstrash [5K]

Serve Me by @chateautae [16K]

Meet Me at the Bar by @eoieopda [7.5K]

Internal Conflicts by @yoongiofmine [series; completed]

Forever by @oddinary4bts [25.2K]

Thank you, Daddy by @ktheist [19K]

The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Glazed & Dazed by @floralseokjin [30.3K]

Wet & Wild by @jamaisjoons [10K]

Warm this Winter by @jamaisjoons [51.6K]

Peach Parfait by @jamaisjoons [series; completed]

Borderlines by @jamaisjoons [series; ongoing]

All I Don’t Want for Christmas is You! by @minisugakoobies [23.7K]

Cupid’s on Holiday by @persphonesorchid [17K]

Don’t Go Baking my Heart by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids [14.7K]

Platonic by @joheunsaram [series; completed??]

Last November by @kithtaehyung [24.7K]

Sit. Stay. by @daechwitatamic [14K]

Turn Back Time by @raplinesmoon [13.3K]

Made-up Love Song by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Lost and Found by @taleasnewastime [21.2K]

I’m so sorry that I didn’t get to read more! 😭 Life happened, and yeah. But all of these wonderful fics on my list sound so incredibly good and I really look forward to reading them and give them a lovely review 💜

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEOKJIN!!! 💜 🥳 🎂

[dammarchy211]

The Think Tank Random Headcanon List

Two people asked for this so that means it happening 👍 your welcome, most if not all of these r prewar/brain tank

-this one’s pretty supported in canon but think Dala likes fashion and dressing up🫶. I love giving her a fun little outfit

Yay

-0 had back pains pre brain tank. Also a lot of fatigue. The certified professional sleeper. When he’s working on projects in his home he tends to do it lying on the floor.

-this one’s basically canon but 8 has arithmomania. I say basically canon bc things in his house in Higgs often come in sets of 8, as well as his house being the 8th house despite there not BEING 8 houses. I think this would also extend to counting to 8 on his fingers when he’s nervous and such.

-tied in I also believe 8 has ocd. Borous has bpd.

-Dala was pretty reserved growing up, as she grew up/especially in the looped personality she became for lack of better terms “bolder and more flirty” as compensation for having been so withdrawn previously.

-I am wishy washy with a lot of gender headcanons for characters, my brain kinda just goes well idk if they’re trans but they’re not Not trans. However I do feel quite definitively that Dala is nb transfem, and Mobius and 0 are trans men.

-I think all of their names have some tie to the names they had pre recursion loop. Canonically both Klein’s name and his prewar last name start with K. I think the other’s names have similar ties.

-on that note, I think Borous’s old name (/just his family in general) has Painfully Russian origins. It makes his McCarthyism thing so hilariously ironic

-I think 8 is Canadian, but he only lived there pre annexation of Canada, he was working at big MT and living at Higgs once it happened.

-0’s old last name used to be “O’something” and people still used to call him Dr. O then and he still hated it. Doomed fate

-re: Mobius being trans, i think his first name was Edward. He named himself after Dr. Morbius from the movie The Forbidden Planet

-Klein is a big wine guy, like obvious there’s wine bottles strewn about his house, but I mean like. He’s the kind of guy to just know things about every kind of wine.

-Klein is probably the best dressed after Dala, I think he just tries to be professional for the most part. 0 thinks he’s fashionable but he isn’t. Already mentioned but Mobius dresses like an old lighthouse keeper. Cableknit sweater and the works. I think he’d also like antique pipes

I’m probably gonna alter the Klein outfit but yeah you get the idea. Doodles

-I feel SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS. But 0 and Borous went to high school together. 0’s one line mentioning Borous in high school was just way too telling.

-Klein and Mobius need reading glasses. Dala used to need glasses, didn’t wear them throughout her childhood until like college, and then switched to contacts after college

-The think tank are all very close and got along much better prewar than they do at the time of the game. They kinda Jean-Paul Sartre No Exit’d themselves and their personalities are stuck in an endless loop. To say the least they started getting on each other’s nerves after 200 years. But this isn’t to say they didn’t still bicker or anything prewar

-8 never really liked talking much. Possibly having selective mutism. This was mostly fine for him because pre brain tank you have facial expressions and hands and hand gestures that kinda make up for not talking at times. After the brain tanks he was kind just. Forced to talk to relay information. His speech was extremely awkward and stilted, which combined with the above head canon is why Dala made that comment about how they like him better now that his voice modulator is broken.

-they all have autism of some flavor tbh. To me. In my autistic mind.

-dead animal ment.// but I feel like Borous was that kid who like poked at dead squirrels and shit as a kid. It frames the Gabe and cyberdog thing well lol

-I’m an 8/0 head so I think they worked together a lot. Even if it’s not on the same project they would just do thinks at the same time together.

-the mentats on Klein’s bedside table are Mobius’s

-0 used to be a super big fan of House and RobCo when he was in high school. Obviously that is no longer true

-0 excels at making robots that are smaller. He doesn’t want to acknowledge this though. Muggy and his walking eyes (w/ wild wasteland) are both pretty small but they work well. The larger scale securitrons he’s tried to make obviously. Do not.

-I think the lounge music theme for the radio was a collective choice, but I feel like Dala especially likes music like that.

-Klein and Mobius used to play games like chess or checkers or card games “outside” in Higgs old person style.

-post brain tank one (woah) Klein has fleeting feelings of missing someone or something he can’t recognize. Any memories tying it to an image of a person he doesn’t quite remember. His brain just doesn’t connect that it’s Mobius and he usually just pushes the feeling down whenever it happens lol

If I think of more I’ll add them.

[kiwisa]

never say never ✩ ln04

Lando Norris x Fem! Leclerc! Reader

IN WHICH... you should never say never, especially to your sister who does what she wants.

user1 the leclerc genes have been blessed by the hand of god there are no other explanations

user2 such a fashion icon

user3 how come y/n is the youngest leclerc and yet she looks just as old as charles wtf

⤷ user4 for real lol i always forget she's younger than arthur

⤷ COMMENTS

Anonymous That's the biggest leap I've ever read. It's not because two people attend the same event that they are dating. I hate scoop-hungry websites like you.

Anonymous There are no photos of them together, though? Monaco is like 2km square, of course people are going to cross paths with each other, especially rich people.

Anonymous So, following your logic, since my crush and I attend the same class every day, we are dating too? Fucking awesome.

user1 they are so cute 🥹 and lando is so dead 🥹

user2 omgggg i knew it !!!!!!

danielricciardo oh boy

user3 y/n lives to infuriate her brothers (especially charles) and i respect that

⤷ user4 she is the moment

user5 not only did lando choose to date a driver's sister, he also chose the only girl on the grid with 3 BROTHERS and that's fucking hilarious to me

user6 so lando and max were talking about y/n that's adorable

landonorris i love you ❤️

⤷ charles_leclerc run before i run you over

⤷ yourusername with what? your new vespa?

⤷ yourusername i love you too mon coeur ❤️

lorenzotl Answer your phone, Y/N.

arthur_leclerc ...

charles_leclerc you're so dead

user7 i bet the "private event" was just a way to hide a date

⤷ yourusername 🤫

user8 this is more entertaining than a marvel movie damn

pascale.leclerc.355 Vous êtes très mignons tous les deux. 😘 Quand est-ce qu'il passe à la maison ? 😊

⤷ charles_leclerc maman !!!!

[some-stars]

i reblogged this post with my own commentary but then i wanted to pull out the commentary and make it its own post bc i actually do want people to read this one.

[Deadpool and Wolverine] is both [homophobic and genuinely queer]. It's very obviously both. The character is literally queer and the movies are queer and the comics are queer, all of it on purpose, AND the fact that the only queerness in the movies is in the forms of jokes, deniably camp song choices, and winking use of traditionally romantic plot structures with a female love interest montage stuffed in at the climactic moment to defuse it all into a safe (say it with me) joke, is extremely homophobic. literally both of these things are true, and it's weird and sad to me that most of the fandom either can't or refuses to recognize that no, disney is not on their side.

like you guys....every single post i see like 'the next movie better make them boyfriends!!' and it seems like they're serious, makes me so fucking sad. because disney will never. ever. ever. ever let wolverine be queer. ever. we do not live in that world. and they will never. ever. ever. ever let deadpool make any actual onscreen* comment or approach to a guy that can't be completely discounted as a joke by anyone who doesn't want it to be serious.

and the fact that so, so many people don't recognize that the world is like this honestly kind of frightens me, both for them and for the world. like i know this is fandom and i'm gonna go back to posting porn and fluff and blorbos in a minute but you genuinely have to recognize the actual state of things or it's just going to keep getting worse.

*the comics are largely a different story bc there's exponentially less money involved and an exponentially smaller audience. would love someone to confirm whether 616!wade has had a non-female love interest yet actually, bc i haven't heard about a guy but i'm almost certain he was dating someone non-binary recently. anyway none of that is the point which is that hugh and ryan are beautiful souls and i'm so grateful for their work but no, the movie is not a romantic comedy. it's a buddy comedy that deliberately uses very obvious romcom tropes as a joke. the punchline of the joke is of course they're not like that, but wouldn't it be wacky and hilarious if they were? which, btw, was also the punchline when they did this on friends. in the fucking nineties.

[schizopositivity]

My official, spoiler free thoughts on the new movie 'I Saw the TV Glow'

• massive trigger warning for anyone wanting to watch it who doesn't want to see derealization and mixing fantasy (TV shows) with reality, connecting back to reality was quite troublesome for me after watching the film in a theater

• although I understand the trans and queer themes of the film, I also personally saw a lot of themes surrounding psychosis, especially shared psychosis, and derealization that I heavily related to

• incredible depictions of the awkwardness and intensity of being middle school age, very relatable

• I love how it was shot and edited, my interpretations of what were psychotic elements in the film were shown as being very confusing and disoriented, which is incredibly accurate to how psychosis feels for me

• overall I loved it, not a typical storyline but I loved the feelings it provoked, it was visually gorgeous, unexpectedly hilarious at times, and captivating from start to finish (and also I love the band Sloppy Jane, I saw them live and met the band so seeing them performing on the big screen was incredible for me)

Now a little spoiler comment under the 'read more'

• I was really dreading the trope of the psychotic/severely mentally ill protagonist commiting suicide at the end, but I was absolutely delighted to see that wasn't the case, it wasn't a happy ending by any means, but at least it didn't depict suicide as being the solution to psychosis

• the media obsession getting mixed with psychosis was so relatable, as well as viewing that media totally differently when you're no longer in that headspace. As a teen I was obsessed with the movie Donnie Darko and had delusions and hallucinations based off of it, and yet when I watched it years later I thought it was cheesy and couldn't see why I loved it so much, exactly like Owen in I Saw the TV glow

[msunitedstatesjames]

I just played the House of the Dead quest in Veilguard, and it might be my favorite quest in the game so far.

Everything about this quest was great.

The mood was perfect and distinct from other questlines. It was spooky, and gothic, and mysterious, and it was emotionally resonant too with Emmrich's obvious distress over the torment of the spirits. The envionment was such a classic haunted house, which some people might find overused, but I love a haunted house tale.

It was also one of the more substantial companion quests so far in the game. I love all the short and sweet quests we've had so far, but this one took over an hour to complete, had a number of challenging combat situations, had romance options if you're interested in romancing Emmrich, had an engaging mystery, and continued to build on the interesting lore behind the Mourn Watch. It also took you back into the Fade proper, a classic of Dragon Age, and I thought there were lots of entertaining and interesting companion comments/banter on top of it all.

If all that wasn't enough, it does what all the best companion quests in rpgs do, which is to get at the nature of what makes this character tick. I think Emmrich really shines every time you take him out, but this quest really helps to flesh his character out. If his compassion wasn't obvious enough by now, his desperation to find and help the trapped spirits makes that clear. I also just love when the worst thing he can manage to say about the "rogue necromancer" is that he'll have some stern words when you find them.

And then there's Hezenkoss. First of all, she immediately sets herself apart as a memorable villain. I can't even seem to remember the names of the gods we're supposed to be fighting, but this chick gets five minutes of screentime and her name is seared into my memory. She's got that classic, supervillain aura that I kind of miss from movies and tv when I was a kid. She has a very distinct look with her mad scientist glasses, her shining eyes, and her bizarrely cringey hand gestures/dance moves. I was grinning ear to ear the moment she came on screen.

On top of that, she's such a great foil to Emmrich. They come from the same background, they were friends, they even have some of the same desires, namely a desire not to join the dead. But while she chose to use the spirits to her advantage, regardless of the consequences, Emmrich has chosen to be kind, and to live with his natural fears, and to be a teacher. Although I have a feeling that will all be tested a little later on.

A little bit of a side note here, but I love what The Veilguard is doing for Necromancers. I've never once cared about Necromancers before. (Well, maybe once.) They are always portrayed as gloomy and sort of dully evil. Between Emmrich's kind and gentle demeanor and Hezenkoss's whackiness, I'm intrigued.

Anyway, all that to say whoever wrote this quest deserves a raise.

Edit: I almost forgot the hilarious moment you can get where Hezenkoss assumes Emmrich is the main character and calls Rook one of Emmrich's "hangers-on." And then when the battle starts Rook is so offended they feel the need to remind eveyone that they're not a hanger on.

[spence-whore]

Stressful long days

Damien Haas x Reader

AN i lied, i went ahead and finished this little x reader just now. totaallllyyyy not procrastinating working on a final, whaaaaat? couldn’t be meeee. on another note though, this was the first time in almost five years i have written something like this. i actually used to post damien haas imagines on wattpad whenever i was in my senior year of high school. wild. If this is bad, I apologize. I’m kinda rusty. I’m going to try and get some more up asap though! Remember if you have any requests, please send them my way!

.

.

.

Today has been actual hell. You work in IT at an office and you usually don’t have much to do besides help people here and there. Today, it was like everyone was having problems with the new program that they were all supposed to switch to. You were technically supposed to go home at 5pm but it is now 8pm. You slowly pulled yourself up the steps to your shared apartment with Damien. The only things you could hear around you were others in their apartments, watching TV and faint talking. It was so tempting to just flop down on the step and just take a break but seeing Damien was the reward of pushing yourself up the steps.

“Just a few more steps, Y/N. You can do it.” You whispered to yourself, trudging up the last few steps and grabbing your keys out of your pockets. The sound of little paws booking it to the door thumped from the other side.

“Hi loves!” You just threw your jacket off and dropped to the ground to love on Zelda and Freyja.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Damien’s voice echoed from the living room.

“Nope, just a stranger, breaking in to rob you.” You shouted back while giving the two cats head scratches.

“Ha-ha, you’re just sooo hilarious.” Damien says giggling, while peaking his head around the corner.

“I know, I truly deserve an award for being the funniest.” You just gave him a half assed smile. He could tell from the look on your face and the fact you weren’t roasting him, something was up.

“What’s going on in that little head of yours? Busy day?” He asked while walking towards you and sticking his hand out, to help you up.

“You could say that. Would you maybe wanna just order food and we could relax and watch a movie?” You suggest hoping that he won’t oblige to the request.

“Of course, go change into some comfy clothes and go get on the couch. I’ll get it all set up.” He said with a smile while helping you stand back up.

You took a few minutes to yourself in your bedroom, before getting changed into sweatpants and an old shirt of Damien’s. You took a little bit longer while in the bathroom because you wanted to wash the grime off your face from the day.

You practically threw yourself on the couch and sighed really loudly into the pillow. “Do you wanna talk about it or do you just wanna eat then watch a movie and cuddle?” You hear Damien ask from the doorway. He had a bag that had takeout in it, in his hand.

“I’m just so mentally drained. We started using a new program at work and it did not want to work for absolutely anyone. I was having to delete it and redownload it for so many people today. I didn’t think they would hold me there that long but nope.” You took a really deep breath before turning around onto your back. It felt like tears were starting to well up so quickly in your eyes, one little comment and they would come flooding out. “Will you just come hold me for a few minutes then we can eat? Please?”

Damien didn’t even give you the opportunity to think about everything going on in your head before you were yanked up off the couch into his arms. He was holding you bridal style while you just giggled. “What are you doing, dude?” You asked.

“Uuuuuh, picking up my partner, so I can lay down on the couch and put said partner on top of me. So, I can fulfill their request. You biiiiig dummmmmyyyyy.” He laid back on the couch with you still in his arms then he let you go, so you can get comfortable.

You turned around, on your stomach, so your chin was on his chest and you were looking up at him. “Okay, one, rude. What did we say about name calling?”

He cut you off before you could continue, “We never said anything about name calling because I like picking on you. It’s the way I show my love.” He said while resting his hands on your back and staring down at you.

“Touché and two, I can’t thank you enough for just being so caring. I genuinely don’t know what I would do, if I didn’t have you to come home to.” A smile flooded Damien’s face, as he yanked you up closer to him and he pressed a kiss onto your forehead.

“You would probably go absolutely bonkers, if we’re being honest.” He whispered, giggling whenever you acted offended

You just laid there, tracing your finger alongside the tattoos, trying to not cry. It felt more and more like a damn starting to overflow.

“I’m really proud of you. You have come so far compared to where you were a few years ago. You didn’t think you would even get this position and was terrified about starting your career. You thought your entire college years were going to just go to waste. Look at you now. You have a job, where you are loved. Everyone comes to you whenever they need help, whenever there are many other people they could go to. You are the sunshine in everyone’s day. They know they will never have to deal with someone rude whenever they need assistance. You always keep up this mask like everything is a -okay, so they won’t feel bad for bothering you. I’ve seen you while you’re at work. Maybe, you should see if you can get a day off here soon and we can just lounge around all day.”

You immediately bursted into tears because of his words. You’ll never understand why or how he can put up with you, constantly being so stressed and drained but he does. You couldn’t be more thankful for him.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” He whispered pulling you closer to him and pressed kisses all over your face with dramatic signs in between, trying to draw a laugh from you. “Take a moment to just let it all out then let’s eat because I can hear your stomach growling and it sounds like there is an angry goblin inside of you.”

[icrypop]

Christmas with Them

Characters: Angel Dust, Alastor, Husk, Vox, Lucifer, Vaggie, Charlie

GENDER NEUTRAL READER!!

1 of a few Christmas Posts!!! Enjoyyyy!!

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Angel Dust

- Angel drags you to the most extravagant and chaotic stores in Hell, loudly commenting on tacky ornaments and inappropriate holiday decorations. He insists on buying matching ugly Christmas sweaters for both of you.

- You both turn your living space into a glitter explosion while hanging up decorations. Angel ends up covered in tinsel and insists it’s his “holiday look.”

- A hilariously sarcastic commentary on every cheesy Christmas movie you watch together, especially rom-coms. Angel constantly points out how he’d do things differently.

- Angel’s presents are often over-the-top and flashy, like a sequined stocking filled with novelty items. He loves seeing your reaction, especially if it makes you laugh.

- Angel improvises a "snowball fight" using pillow stuffing or anything he can throw. It quickly devolves into a chaotic but hilarious mess.

- Angel sets up playful (and slightly inappropriate) pranks around the house, like booby-trapped mistletoe that sprays glitter.

- He drags you into a karaoke night, belting out raunchy versions of Christmas classics while pulling you up for duets.

- Angel crafts stockings for both of you, but his is covered in rhinestones and feathers, while yours has a playful inside joke about your relationship.

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You woke up to the sound of loud music blasting through the apartment. Groaning, you rolled over and saw Angel Dust, already in a ridiculous Santa-themed outfit, complete with glittery red heels.

“Rise and shine, sugar! Santa Dust is here to bring some Christmas chaos!” he yelled, shaking a bag full of wrapped presents.

The living room was a mess of wrapping paper, candy canes, and tinsel. Angel had clearly been up for hours, “redecorating” the place. He plopped down beside you, handing you a sloppily wrapped gift.

“I know it ain’t perfect,” he said with a wink, “but it’s fabulous, just like me.”

Inside was a sequined jacket in your favorite color. Before you could thank him, he yanked you into a hug, covering you in glitter. “Merry Christmas, babe! Now, let’s eat cookies for breakfast and watch the worst holiday movies we can find!”

---

Alastor

- Alastor prepares an elaborate Christmas dinner with dishes from various cultures. He insists on you trying everything, recounting stories about the origins of the recipes with his usual sinister grin.

- He takes you to Hell’s version of Christmas caroling, which involves twisted and haunting renditions of holiday classics. He sings with eerie enthusiasm, making the experience both fun and chilling.

- Alastor dims the lights, turns on some vintage Christmas jazz, and offers his hand to you for an impromptu dance in front of a crackling fire.

- His presents are always wrapped perfectly, but they often come with a cryptic backstory that leaves you curious (or slightly unsettled).

- Alastor gathers you by the fire to tell twisted holiday tales, his voice both chilling and captivating as he adds his sinister flair.

- He surprises you with a hand-carved ornament or a vintage keepsake, proudly stating it’s made “with a personal touch.”

- He takes you on a stroll through Hell’s version of a winter wonderland, narrating the history of the sights with a mischievous grin.

- Alastor sets up his vintage record player to play Christmas tunes, occasionally breaking into an impromptu performance to serenade you.

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You awoke to the sound of soft jazz playing from Alastor’s Victrola. The warm scent of fresh pastries and spiced coffee wafted through the air. When you stepped into the living room, Alastor was adjusting a garland on the fireplace, wearing a festive sweater that somehow still looked sinister.

“Ah, my dear, you’re just in time! Breakfast is ready, and the festivities are about to commence,” he said with his ever-present grin.

He guided you to a beautifully set table, complete with an array of homemade treats. “I’ve prepared something special for you,” he said, handing you a small, intricately wrapped box.

Inside was a vintage locket with a picture of the two of you. “A token of my appreciation for the… interesting times we’ve shared,” he said, chuckling.

The rest of the morning was spent in a mix of eerie Christmas carols and surprisingly heartfelt moments, making it a day to remember.

---

Husk

- Husk isn’t big on holidays but agrees to spend Christmas with you, as long as there’s booze involved. He keeps things simple and cozy.

- He teaches you a card game (or makes up his own rules) while sipping spiked eggnog. The banter is half the fun.

- Though he grumbles about the holidays, you catch him smiling when he sees you happy. He secretly gets you a thoughtful gift but denies it’s a big deal.

- Husk shares stories about his life over a quiet Christmas night, his guard lowered just enough for you to see his softer side.

- Husk insists on a lazy day spent napping with you in a pile of blankets, saying it’s the best way to "celebrate."

- He begrudgingly takes you on a tour of his favorite bars, which turns into an unexpectedly fun holiday adventure.

- You play drinking games where the rules involve mocking cheesy holiday tropes in movies or commercials.

- Late at night, Husk shares an old Christmas memory that’s surprisingly heartwarming, making the moment unexpectedly tender.

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When you woke up, Husk was already in the kitchen, grumbling to himself as he poured coffee into two mismatched mugs. He turned and noticed you, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Morning. Figured I’d get the caffeine going,” he said, setting a mug down in front of you.

The apartment was quiet except for the faint sound of Christmas music playing on an old radio. Husk had set up a small tree the night before, its lights blinking lazily.

“I, uh, got you something,” he muttered, pulling a neatly wrapped box from under the tree. Inside was a simple but thoughtful gift—a book you’d mentioned wanting.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” he grumbled, though his tail flicked nervously. You smiled and hugged him, making him groan. “Alright, alright, enough with the mushy stuff. Let’s eat.”

---

Vox

- Vox uses his powers to create a high-tech Christmas experience, complete with holographic decorations and a futuristic Christmas tree.

- He ropes you into doing a Christmas livestream or video podcast, where you both show off holiday outfits or open gifts in front of an audience.

- Vox takes you to a VIP Christmas bash where only the most elite of Hell are invited. He enjoys showing you off as his partner.

- Vox designs a one-of-a-kind gadget or accessory for you, showcasing both his creativity and affection.

-Vox creates a dazzling Christmas-themed digital fireworks display just for you, projecting it across the skyline.

- He insists you try on various high-tech holiday outfits, enjoying the playful banter as he models a few himself.

- Vox programs a personalized playlist of Christmas music, mixing your favorite songs with his edgy style.

- You spend hours gaming together, battling in festive-themed games or playing co-op while snacking on holiday treats.

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Christmas morning with Vox was nothing short of futuristic. You woke up to a fully automated greeting, complete with holographic mistletoe hovering above the bed.

“Good morning, darling,” Vox’s voice chimed from his speakers. He walked in moments later, carrying a tray with your favorite breakfast and a smirk on his face.

“You’ll love this,” he said, activating a projection of a virtual Christmas tree. Beneath it were digital renderings of gifts, each one opening to reveal a real-life counterpart.

Your favorite? A sleek, custom-designed gadget with your name engraved on it. “Only the best for my favorite person,” Vox said, leaning in for a quick kiss.

The rest of the morning was spent exploring your gifts, laughing over his high-tech holiday antics, and enjoying the most luxurious Christmas breakfast imaginable.

---

Lucifer

- Christmas with Lucifer is a grand and formal affair. He hosts a luxurious dinner party with the who’s who of Hell, and you’re the center of his attention.

- After the party, he whisks you away to a quiet spot to enjoy the holiday privately, often with fine wine and a view of Hell’s unique “snow.”

- Lucifer gives you an antique or a priceless artifact with sentimental value, paired with a heartfelt (and slightly poetic) explanation.

- He leads you in a slow waltz under Hell’s night sky, showing a rare glimpse of his romantic side.

- Lucifer oversees the lighting of an enormous, magical Christmas tree in Hell, inviting you to stand beside him as his special guest.

- He plays a grand piano, performing hauntingly beautiful renditions of holiday classics for you.

- Lucifer prepares an intimate, candlelit Christmas dinner for just the two of you, complete with fine wine and elegant music.

- He takes you for a walk through Hell’s royal gardens, magically transformed into a winter wonderland for the occasion.

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You woke to the faint sound of classical music and the scent of freshly baked pastries. Lucifer, dressed impeccably as always, stood by the grand fireplace, sipping a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, my love,” he greeted, his voice smooth as silk. “I trust you slept well?”

He led you to the dining room, where a lavish breakfast spread awaited. Every detail was perfect, from the polished silverware to the pristine holiday decor.

After breakfast, he presented you with an ornate gift box. Inside was a rare piece of jewelry, something timeless and elegant, just like him. “A symbol of my affection,” he said softly, brushing a kiss to your hand.

The rest of the morning was spent in quiet luxury, with Lucifer ensuring every moment felt special and unforgettable.

---

Vaggie

- Vaggie prefers a quiet, personal celebration with homemade decorations and baked goods. She insists on keeping it meaningful and genuine.

- You both wrap gifts together, with her focusing on neatness and you possibly sneaking in something silly, which makes her laugh.

- Vaggie enjoys sitting by the fire with you, sipping hot cocoa and discussing your dreams or plans for the future.

- She’s very thoughtful in her gift choices, ensuring each present reflects your interests and needs.

- Vaggie and you spend the evening baking cookies and cakes, with her getting competitive about making everything perfect.

- She creates a scrapbook filled with memories of your time together, presenting it to you with a heartfelt note.

- You both sit under Hell’s unique starry sky, wrapped in blankets, quietly enjoying each other’s company.

- Vaggie sets up a simple but cute photoshoot for the two of you, using props and backdrops to capture the holiday spirit.

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Christmas morning with Vaggie was simple and heartfelt. You woke up to the smell of hot chocolate and the sight of her carefully hanging the last ornament on the tree.

“Good morning,” she said with a soft smile, handing you a steaming mug. “Merry Christmas.”

The two of you sat by the tree, exchanging gifts and teasing each other over your wrapping skills. Her gift was practical yet thoughtful—a handmade scarf in your favorite color.

“I wanted to make something personal,” she said, a faint blush on her cheeks.

The morning ended with you snuggled together under a blanket, watching the lights twinkle on the tree as soft music played in the background.

---

Charlie

- Charlie loves every aspect of Christmas, from decorating to caroling. She’s bubbly and eager to involve you in all her holiday activities.

- She takes you to volunteer or give back in some way, wanting to spread joy to others. Her optimism is infectious.

- Charlie introduces you to quirky family traditions, like singing carols with her parents or making unique tree ornaments.

- Her presents are handmade or extremely personal, always reminding you how much she cherishes you.

- Charlie insists on decorating the tree together, turning it into a fun and chaotic event with lots of laughter.

- She loves creating colorful and creative holiday cookies, and you end up in a playful frosting fight.

- Charlie organizes a festive parade, making you the honorary guest and ensuring you have the most fun.

- She convinces you to write silly letters to “Santa” (even in Hell), just to see what you’d wish for, laughing over your responses.

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You woke up to Charlie bouncing on the bed, her excitement infectious. “It’s Christmas! Come on, get up!” she exclaimed, pulling you out of bed.

The living room was a whirlwind of holiday cheer, with stockings overflowing and presents stacked high. Charlie handed you a brightly wrapped gift, grinning ear to ear.

“It’s not much, but I thought you’d like it,” she said. Inside was a handmade scrapbook filled with pictures and mementos from your time together.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you hugged her tightly. “Hey, don’t cry! It’s Christmas!” she said, laughing as she wiped your tears.

The rest of the morning was filled with laughter, music, and way too many cookies, making it the perfect start to the holiday.

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