#little teddy bear teacup who give a shit

[confetti-critter]

Btw,,

If you even care

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Could you do the mercs with an s/o who is like- almost comically short?

Oh boy wouldn’t it be a shame if this anon asked me to do a size difference nsfw headcanons one next? Wink wink.

Mercs with an S/O who’s a small menace to society

WARNING: Older bigger men bullying the ever living shit out you. (kinda hot though?)

Scout:

- Scout will not hesitate to make fun of you at every given moment. He’s a decently tall dude so he’ll manhandle you a lot. Holding you in his arms like a personal teddy bear. Overall walking around with you in his arms.

- You bite his arms when you’re bored and he flinches and goes “Ow! What are you? A fuckin’ goblin?!” (Doesn’t he know? The smaller you are, the closer you are to hell.)

- “I could probably slug you into the stratosphere y’know.” He says. You don’t want to test that theory.

- When he’s upset he’ll pick you up, go into his quarters and lay there with you in his arms. Just like the aforementioned teddy bear analogy. If you’re screeching and biting like a fucked up chihuahua that doesn’t deter him.

————————————————————————

Soldier:

- Keeps giving you petnames like “Boot.” “Little one.” “Rat bastard.” (Ignore that last one.) and cheesy shit like that. Treats you how a rich middle aged white woman would treat her teacup pig. You’re being strapped to his back in a baby carrier while he rocket jumps.

- Gets incredibly rough with you on purpose. He likes seeing your squeaks and angry reactions. This guy definitely has a height difference thing. Throws you at enemy lines at like mach 20 knowing full well you’ll shred them like a fucking gremlin. Or stuffs you into his rocket launcher. Pick your evil.

- Lies about you being younger in order to pay less in restaurants. He somehow gets away with this 90 percent of the time. Spy is kind of envious that he didn’t even think of that.

- “NO! WAIT! DONT SHOOT! HANGFIRE! CHILD ON BATTLEFIELD!” He raises you above his head. You’re unbelievably pissed. You’re a grown ass adult. But the enemy lines somehow hesitate which abides him time to blow everyone up. He has no reason to be this smart about your height.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- The first time he saw you he burst out laughing. Really hard. Like nearly fell over and shit. He couldn’t stop laughing like actually. It took him days to even approach you properly and finally call you adorable.

- Picks you up when you can’t reach something off the top shelf and instead of helping you get it, he just sits you atop the shelf and leaves you there. They have to call either Heavy or Sniper in order to get you down.

- You take advantage of your height and perch on his shoulders like a parrot. The other mercs don’t understand why Demoman has a pet gremlin.

- “Er’ is my crotch goblin Y/N. They’re gonna bite your dick off if ye cap this point lad!” You can’t say you disagree with that.

————————————————————————

Engineer:

- A romantic partner whose tinier than him? Sign him the fuck up. Cradles you like a baby and kisses your head. Bounces you on his lap to soothe you. Expect a lot of sitting outside on the rocking chair at night while he rocks you in a blanket.

- You make grabby hands to him for uppies and he feels like he’s not allowed to say no. “Aww, sugarplum…” He cooes, setting down whatever he was working on and lifting you up into his arms. He might tickle your tummy if you’re fine with that :)

- Picks you up by the scruff of your uniform like a mother cat when you’re misbehaving. He will stare in amusement if you struggle.

- “Careful outside on the Badlands, darlin.. Never know when one of ‘em damn condors might be circling you.” You can’t decide if you want to kiss this man or kill him.

———————————————————————-

Heavy:

- You’re literally so small he’s scared of accidentally stepping on you or something. Always has to wiggle his way around you in the base corridors and mutter what you assume to be an apology in Russian. What you don’t know is that he’s actually cursing out the Administrator for hiring such a tiny Merc. What if you get squashed by falling debris or something?

- HE PICKS YOU UP WITH ONE HAND. YOU ARE IN HIS FUCKING FIST. YOU ARE BEING HELD LIKE AN ICE CREAM CONE.

- Treats you like a fucking stress ball. scoops you up in his hands and squishes your cheeks. Lays you on his lap like a small kitten belly up. No amount of biting or awful demon noises will ever convince him to do otherwise. Chuckles lovingly at your tiny anger. “Little, little, little. Tiny like the ant.” He baby talks you.

- Due to your height it’s impossible to bother him. Unlike the others. You can gnaw at his ankles and scratch at his chest but he remains unmoved like a large boulder. Threatens to splat you against the wall like one of those rubber toys and turn you into a pancake.

——————————————————————-

Pyro:

- In his point of view you’re actually terrifying. He doesn’t know why. But you stand out from the rest in their beloved Pyroland. You’re a creature from the primordial depths of hell that has come to eat their soul. You’re uncanny as shit.

- When they meet you for the first time it takes for godamn ever for the Mercs to finally figure out why Pyro was behaving so erratically and out of character. Engineer finally convinces poor Pyro to speak to you and it doesn’t end up in vain. You’re actually a pleasant scary monster.

- Spies don’t scare them. Pyro can kill spies with no effort. But you? Holy shit. Sometimes he doesn’t hear you come up behind them and this usually leads to Pyro spontaneously crying because you startled them. (Your team’s Spy is VERY envious of this.)

- You think this is great! You decide to play a prank on them by crawling on all fours down the dark hallway. Pyro looks like a deer in headlights. All tensed up like a cat attempting to look bigger. Two seconds later the entire base is on fire. You have to explain yourself to the other Mercs how this happened and it’s embarrassing.

- Whenever you kill someone on the battlefield it’s horrific shrieking mixed in with fleshy eating sounds.

—————————————————————-

Sniper:

- Calls you stuff like “Baby bear.” Mostly because he purposely holds you like a mama koala in his camper van’s bed and in the sniper nests. You cling to his lap and listen to his heartbeat while he scopes out the window.

- Same as scout to some extent. Carries you around wherever he goes and holds you like a plush doll. “Easy there on the lil’ daggers, mate.” You keep digging into his skin to hold steady.

- Growls at you when you bite him. Something about you both is evil and animalistic. Bites you back on your “scruff” when you bother him too much. He wants to shake you around in his teeth like a fucking chewtoy but he knows full well that might accidentally kill you. Has straight up cute aggression around you.

- Sniper your furry is showing. Helen, get yo fuckin dog bitch.

——————————————————————

Medic:

- “Well it seems you stopped growing at a certain age. That typically is due to genetics and other factors.” He says after looking at X-rays of your finger bones. Tracing his finger over the image of your growth plates as he squints to see better. He fixes his glasses back up on his nose and scratches his chin.

- He gives you a mischievous side smile. It’s unsettling. He secretly finds the size difference incredibly attractive. He tells you to take the lead vest off and waves his hand dismissively when you question his creepy expression. “What?! It is just my usual smile. I always look like this.”

- You’re not convinced. You take the vest off and straighten your team uniform a bit to get yourself situated. Without warning he grabs you by the wrist as you attempt to leave. “Ah-ba-ba-ba! I didn’t say you could go yet.” He pulls you against his chest. Forcibly. His natural heat was causing your heart beat out of your chest. He kneeled down and wrapped his arms around you. Cupping a hand over your mouth. You couldn’t move.

- The way you were (in theory) powerless was exhilarating for him. He placed his free hand on your chest and marveled in your heartbeat. Really? That’s all he wanted? Medic let out a long pleasured sigh. “Oh, that’s gooood.” He feels like he could potentially hold your tiny heart in a cute little decorated specimen jar but that would kill you, sadly. Can’t have that.

———————————————————————

Spy:

- Has unimaginable amounts of trauma from his father figure and you help him cope with said trauma a lot by being small. He deeply regrets passing by the chance of raising Scout. That in-and-itself was also a traumatic experience for him. Whenever it isn’t romantic lovey dovey adult time you lay in his arms and he looks over your adorable small body with adoration in his eyes.

- He rubs your small cheek and although he’s still frowning like always — you know full well this man is losing his mind on the inside. This was oddly healing for him. He felt butterflies in his chest as he gave you the love that his family never gave him. Jesus christ, somebody get this man a silicone baby or some shit. And a therapist. Mostly a therapist.

- He has no idea how to baby you to be honest. No fucking clue and he isn’t great at this. He does what he’s seen people do before in public. Wrap you in a blanket and pats your back. He says nothing as he does this. “There’s a scared little boy behind that mask isn’t there?” You ask him lovingly.

- He avoids eye contact after you say that. Looking away shamefully. His mouth twitches. You put your head under his chin contently.

- He stalks you and monitors you on the battlefield. Ready to stab the ever living crap out of anyone who overpowers you. In a particularly rough situation with an enemy heavy he risks his own life to backstab the opponent. You batter him for being too bold and exclaim that he could’ve killed himself. But Spy side eyes you, fixing his tie and cloaking away. He was secretly proud of himself that he had finally managed to protect somebody smaller than him. To make up for all the times he wasn’t there for Scout.

[fa-headhoncho]

Fake Boyfriend: Part 3

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Prompt: The fake dating plan has some... complications.

Word Count: 1351

Reader: Female

Warning: Americanized. Leading up to drama, if I still to the plan lol. lmk if u want to be tagged

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

=====

It was the weekend once again and the plan for the was to go to the mall with some of the class. You were very excited since it’s been a while since you left the campus other than the patrols during your internship. Getting up early, showering, and even putting on a cute outfit.

You bounce down the stairs, sending the girls a wave before making a b-line to the kitchen. Katsuki stands at the counter, preparing the plate of food he just cooked. The sound of someone rummaging through the cabinets near catches his attention.

He turns around and nearly drops the pan of eggs onto the floor. You were on your tippy-toes, trying to reach the top shelf… in a dress. He hasn’t seen you in a dress since your elementary school graduation and he was flustered. Yea, he sees you in a skirt every day in class but this was different. The way the garment hugged your curves and accentuated your--

“Can you help me, Suki?” Your sweet voice snaps him out of his daze. He nods, fearing his voice would reveal the effect you had on him. He quickly sets down the pan and makes his way over to you. “Can you grab the Sugar-O’s?”

“Tch.” He shakes his head at you, his mind finally piecing itself back together to scold you. “You are not eating Sugar-O’s for breakfast. You’re going to feel like shit all day if you eat a shitty meal.”

You immediately pout out your bottom lip causing him to let out a sigh. Years of friendship have taught you what you needed to do for the blonde to give you what you want. It was a true talent. “Please, Bubba?” You beg, putting the nail in the coffin.

“No.” He spits out in your face. You let out a scoff, shoulders dropping as he saunters back to the counter to continue his task.

“Well, what am I supposed to eat then?”

He just shakes his head, holding back a chuckle at your child-like actions. “Will you stop whining for ten seconds?” He grumbles out.

“I haven’t eaten since last night, Katsuki, I’m starv--” You cut yourself when he spins back around to look at you. A warmth starts from your toes and climbs up the rest of your body as you see the two plates of food in his hands. “You made me breakfast?”

He rolls his eyes, “No, I made too much food and I know your dumbass would want some.” He simply states but you know it’s a lie. He’s skilled enough in the culinary arts that he knew how much of each ingredient to put in to make the correct portion size for one plate. He specifically made enough to share with you and it made your heart skip a beat.

“Are you going to take it or stand there?” Katsuki gestures to his outstretched hand holding the food.

You give him a grateful smile as you grab it, daring to lean forward and press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, bubba.” You whisper in his ear before walking away.

Katsuki bites his lip, trying to push down the blush that was fighting to spread across his cheeks. He lifts his head and watches you join the girls at the table, a small feeling of disappointment washes over him since he wanted to enjoy breakfast with his girlfriend.

She’s not my girlfriend. He has to remind himself.

The girls and you chat about the day ahead while eating your breakfast. The group planned a day to the mall and were trying to narrow down which shops they wanted to stop by. Some of the boys were coming along as well but were still sleeping so they weren’t here to discuss.

“I hope Todoroki is going.” Momo absently says, eyes dazed as she drags a finger around the rim of her teacup.

“I’m not sure.” Orchaco looks over to Mina who shrugs in response. “Izuku said that some of the guys are coming and he didn’t mention him--” Momo’s shoulders drop but no one takes notice, “--Is Bakugo coming?”

All eyes turn to you as you happily munch at the delicious pancakes. You have to ask Katsuki for the recipe, they were the best thing you’ve eaten in months. The fork was still hanging out of your mouth when you notice that the girls’ attention was on you.

You quickly gulp down the bite and raise your eyebrows. “Sorry, what was the question?”

Mina lets out a chuckle, “Is Bakugo going to the mall with us?”

A small blush coats your cheeks and you duck your head away from them, hoping that they don’t see it. “Probably not, he’s not much of a social person.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come if you mention you’re going.” Mina counters, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. The girls let out various hums of agreements, some even giggling. “He’s seemed to enjoy movie night.”

Your blush spreads from your cheeks to your whole face at the memory. After you dozed off, you woke up the next morning with your head on Katsuki’s chest and him sprawled out under you on the couch.

“Who knew Bakugo had a soft side.” Hagakure coos out, her arms close together showing that she was clasping her invisible hands. “So, are you guys together?”

You don’t trust your voice so you nod. A few of the girls let out excited squeals and move to your side, spewing out questions at ten miles an hour. You hate this kind of attention, especially since it was all coming from a lie.

“I don’t know how it happened really… we kind of just started dating.” You say what comes to mind since you didn’t think about this part of the plan. “And, he’s always had a soft side with me. Nothing has changed between us… he’s still my best friend just with a different title.”

“That’s adorable.” Hagakure gleams. “I never really thought Bakugo would get a girlfriend.” She quietly admits leading some of the other girls to nod too.

You furrow your eyebrows at them, confused about why they say that. Yea, he’s never had any other girlfriend in the past but that is only because he never wanted one. You knew they meant no harm at the comment but there was a fit of slight anger lingering inside you at their words.

“There’s a lot more to Katsuki than just exploding fists. Under all that anger, there’s a soft little teddy bear.” You tell them with a dreamy expression on your face. “He’s just... “ You go to continue but stop yourself since you know Katsuki would kill you if you mentioned any of the vulnerable moments you’ve had with him. You didn’t want to break the trust you had built up with him over the years just to prove something.

You let out a sigh, eyes going back to the plate of food in front of you. “Bakugo has a very complicated personality and once you figure it out, it’s hard not to love him.” You meant it, growing up with him was easy but when you came back from school it was like you had to start over with him.

His aggressive personality developed into what it is now, a defensive wall to block anyone who would get in his way to becoming the number one hero. And you admired that, his passion and determination was beautiful. But once you broke down those walls, you saw the real Bakugo Katsuki. The one who reads romance novels before he goes to bed; the one who still slept with the same teddy bear from his childhood; and the one who is constantly reevaluating what he did so he could improve.

What you didn’t realize is that the said boy could hear the entire conversation from his spot in the kitchen. A small smirk on his face at your confession. A hopeful voice in the back of his head says to maybe make this dating scheme a reality.

_____

fake bf: @yn-dreamlife @yaskna @bakugouswh0r3 @bkgkhaos @addictofsupernatural @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @thoroughlycaffeinated @riot-race @missyredbean @speedmetalqueen @anime-weeb-bnha

[hobeymakar]

My Lover | C. Parayko

Words: 2,356

A/N: this one is based off the music video for the song My Lover (Remix) by Not3s Ft. Mabel. In this, COVID never happened and the NHL schedule never changed. Also shoutout to my girls @hockey-and-wine​ @grenawitka​ and @pizzasloot​ for being my cheerleaders in the gc love you girls so much!

Warnings: swearing

-

You and your three best friends pull up to a local fall carnival near St. Louis to ring in the start of fall. The temperatures in the city have already started to drop which has already signaled the end of summer.

You get your tickets and start walking through the carnival, taking in the bright lights from the booths and the rides. You and your friends get on some rides and scream your asses off. You make your way to the booths with games and take your shot on one of the basketball games. You played on a youth basketball team back in the day, so you definitely can hold your own.

Just as you're about to take your first shot, you feel someone looking at you. You turn your head to the side and see Colton Parayko of the St. Louis Blues staring right at you. You shoot him a challenging look in response.

He turns his attention back to the game and his teammates Vince and Sammy keep stealing glances at you and your friends. You play the game but manage not to get enough points to get the prize. You turn your attention to Colton and see he got enough points to win the prize. He takes the prize and walks over to you with it.

"I'm not really a stuffed teddy bear kind of guy," he says, handing you the big teddy bear.

"Thank you. I'm flattered, but don't you have someone you know you can give this to?" you ask.

"I actually don't. It would just take up space in my apartment," he replies. "I'm Colton, by the way."

"I know who you are. I was at the Stanley Cup parade last year," you inform him.

"So you're a fan then?" he asks.

"Yeah, but I was a casual fan until the playoffs, then I became a bigger fan," you admit.

"Well since you know who I am, it's only fair I at least get to know your name," he suggests.

"I'm Y/N," you smile.

"Well Y/N, will you accept this teddy bear as a gift?" he asks.

"Sure," you nod, a smile on your lips.

You hand the teddy bear to your friend who takes it to your car. 

Vince and Sammy finally walk up to the both of you.

"What brings you three to this fair?" you ask curiously.

"We got a few days off before our next game and we wanted to do something different," Colton replies, not letting the others answer.

"Well, I hope you guys have fun," you smile, knowing they'll probably want to have fun by themselves.

"Yeah no, you're not getting rid of us that quickly! It''ll be more fun if we do stuff all together!" Vince suggests, referring to your friends.

You look at your friends and see them nod and smile, letting you know they're on board with the idea.

"Alright, let's do it!" you smile.

You all start walking towards the rides, falling into conversations with each other.

“Can we stop at the concession stands? I want some cotton candy,” you ask.

Colton leads you to the concession stands to buy the cotton candy. You order the cotton candy and before you can pay for it, Colton hands the worker the money, causing you to whine.

“I wanted to pay!” you cry out.

“Too late now,” he replies, causing you to hip check him lightly.

The worker hands you the cotton candy and you take a piece and put it in your mouth, enjoying the taste of sugar on your tongue.

“Is it good?” he asks, as you all start to walk away from the stands.

You take a piece of the cotton candy and feed it to him. He eats the piece and smiles back at you. Your friends and his teammates just give each other knowing looks.

“You guys wanna go on the teacups?” Vince asks.

Everyone else agrees with the suggestion, leaving you and Colton alone to eat the cotton candy. You and Colton go to a nearby empty table and sit down.

“I can’t believe they really ditched us!” you giggle, shaking your head.

“They’ll come back after they’re done with the teacups,” Colton replies. "So what brings you to the fair?"

"I come here every year. I used to come with my parents when I was little, but now I just come with my friends," you explain.

"Funny how I've been in St. Louis for years now and I've never been here before," he explains.

"Well now that you know, you're gonna come back right?" you ask.

"It's obviously difficult with the schedule to come out here, but I wanna come back next year,” he explains.

“That’s great to hear,” you smile.

You two finish the cotton candy, just in time to see your friends and Colton’s teammates come back from the teacups.

“So where to next?” one of your friends asks, as you and Colton get up from the table.

“The bumper cars are right over there!” another one of your friends points out.

“Let’s do it!” you suggest.

The others agree and you make your way over to the bumper cars. You wait in line for a bit before being allowed into the bumper car rink. You get into cars and after a minute or so, the cars start and you all start trying to bump each other. Vince, Colton, and Sammy get super competitive and start trying to kill each other. You and your friends get competitive as well and you start bumping the shit out of each other. You spend the majority of the time laughing as you bump into everyone. After a few minutes, the ride ends and you guys all get out and start walking away. You and Colton walk ahead of everyone else and start walking to the main area of the fair.

“Alright guys, where do you want-” 

You turn around and stop yourself in your tracks, when you notice your friends and Colton’s teammates are gone. They were behind you and Colton and decided amongst themselves to leave you two alone.

“I can’t believe they ditched us!” you groan, shaking your head.

“I guess it’s just us two then,” he replies, trying to fill in the empty space.

“So what do you want to do now?” you ask.

“We can play some games or we can get on some rides,” he explains.

“We can go play some games,” you suggest.

You two walk over to a line of games and you decide to play the water gun game. Colton pays the worker and you grab the gun. You start shooting the water but you’re having a hard time hitting the red target.

“Let me help,” Colton says, pressing himself behind you.

He puts his hand over yours and steadies the gun, aiming it at the water. He hits the target perfectly. You win the race and get another bear as a prize.

“Since you gave me the bear earlier, it’s only fair that I give you this one,” you explain.

“Like I said earlier, it would just take space at my apartment,” he replies, shaking his head.

“Your loss,” you tease, hugging the bear tightly.

“So where to next?” he asks.

“We can do the ferris wheel,” you suggest.

“Alright, let’s do it,” he smiles, leading you towards the ferris wheel.

You wait in line for a few minutes, before getting into a cart. You put the seatbelts on and you start feeling the cold breeze hit you as the night goes on.

“Are you cold?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you.

“Yeah,” you nod, resting your head on his shoulder.

The ride starts and you start seeing the view of the city.

“Isn’t the city so beautiful from up here?” you ask, taking in the view.

“Yeah it really is! My place has a nice view of the city too and I’m blown away by it every time,” he adds.

“You live in a high-rise? I might have to invite myself over sometime,” you tease.

“The view is ten times better with you in it,” he adds, kissing your forehead.

You lift your head up and feel the heat rise in your cheeks. You have no idea how to respond to that. You open your mouth but then close it, like a gaping fish.

“Y/N, can I kiss you?” he asks, cupping your cheek.

You nod sheepishly, not being able to form thoughts or words at the moment. He leans in and kisses you softly and you feel all the cliche bullshit that every teen romance and romcom talks about; the sparks, the butterflies, the hummingbirds singing. After your moment of temporary paralysis, you get with the program and kiss him back. Your hands make its way to the back of his head and you dig your fingers into his hair. You two keep kissing for a while before you finally break apart to breathe. You both take in the surroundings and notice you’re almost on the way down to the ground again. You straighten yourselves out and enjoy the last minute or so of the ride before coming off. You come off the ride holding hands and make your way back to the main area. Once you arrive there, you see your friends and Colton’s teammates show up.

“I see you two had fun,” one of your friends points out, referring to you and Colton holding hands. 

“Yeah, you can definitely say that,” he replies, as you bury your face in his shoulder from embarrassment.

Your friends start talking about the time and how they have to go do stuff at home. They exchange numbers with Vince and Sammy, with Vince talking about them all hanging out soon. Your friends say goodbye and head towards the parking lot.

“And then there were three,” Colton announces.

“Actually, it’s getting pretty late. So, Dunner and I are gonna head out,” Sammy says, making it obvious what he’s trying to do.

“Yeah, we’ll see you around,” Vince adds, playing along.

They both say goodbye and head towards the parking lots.

“So now it’s just us,” he says.

"How are you getting back home?" you ask, hoping that his teammates weren't his ride.

“I was actually gonna take an Uber back,” he replies.

“Yeah no, I’ll take you back home,” you inform him.

There’s no way you’re gonna let him take an Uber back home, when you can drive him back to his place.

“You just want to see the view of the city from my balcony,” he teases.

“You caught me!” you tease back, giggling lightly.

“So you wanna head out now?” he asks, not wanting you to leave.

“Actually yeah. I wanna see if the view of the city from your place lives up to my expectations,” you tease.

“Lead me to your car then,” he smiles

You two walk hand-in-hand to the parking lot and towards your car. You get into the driver’s seat and he plugs his phone to the speakers. You drive out of the parking lot and make your way to his apartment in the city. After almost half an hour, you arrive at the parking garage under his building. You park in the garage and you both make your way inside the building. You take the elevator all the way up to his floor and he leads you towards his apartment.

“Welcome to La Casa de Parayko,” he smiles, opening the front door.

He gives you a quick tour of the place and it’s very luxurious. But you shouldn’t expect anything less from a multi-millionaire hockey player.

“So, where’s this view you’ve been talking about?” you ask.

“Right here,” he says, leading you towards the sliding door.

He opens the door to the balcony and you step outside. He shuts the door shut behind him and you’re immediately hit with the chilly autumn breeze. He comes from behind and wraps his arms around you. You place your hands over his, as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“You weren’t lying. This view is beautiful!” you cry out, loving the view of the Mississippi River and the Golden Arch.

“Not as beautiful as you though,” he replies, kissing your cheek.

You turn around in his arms and kiss him, throwing caution to the wind. He kisses back right away, keeping his hands firmly around your waist. After a few minutes, you pull away from the kiss, biting your lip.

“We have a game tomorrow night against the Avalanche, one of our biggest division rivals. If you’re free, I would love for you to come,” he explains, looking slightly nervous.

“Yeah I’m totally free, but I’m pretty sure it’s sold out already,” you reply, not wanting to get his hopes up.

“I can save you a ticket for the game under my name. Do you own a jersey of mine?” he asks.

“Actually no. I only have an old Backes jersey,” you inform him.

“Well I’ll have a jersey for you as well. You just have to go to the box office and say you have a ticket under my name,” he explains to you.

“Will I see you after the game?” you ask.

“Yeah, I’ll have somebody bring you back to see me,” he explains.

“Colton, I don’t know what to say. This is a lot,” you smile, not expecting all this to come out of going to the fair.

“I like you and I want to get to know you more, if you give me a chance,” he explains.

“So it’s a date then?” you ask, biting your lip.

“After the game, it’ll be,” he explains.

“What are we doing after the game?” you ask curiously.

“If I tell you, it’ll just ruin the surprise,” he teases.

“As much as I’d love to stargaze with you out here, it’s cold,” you inform him.

“Sure, we can go inside and watch a movie?” he suggests.

“Movies and cuddles? I’m definitely in,” you smile, kissing him sweetly.

You’re so glad you decided to go to the fair again this year.

[artificialqueens]

Hello, is it tea you’re looking for? (Branjie) - athena2

A/N: Brooke is stressed out over school in the coffee shop where Vanessa works, and Vanessa cheers her up (with extremely awful puns). This is basically just pure fluff I wanted to write for Writ. They’re the absolute best and I just love them, and they deserve this soft fluff. Please leave some feedback if you’d like!

Brooke’s bluebird mug is empty, the berry tea sweet with honey still sticky on her lips, the heading on her word document waiting expectantly for her to fill the page. The blank white screen mocks her, telling her that she’ll fail if she can’t get her paper done by tomorrow, and the normally soothing tea churns around in her stomach while the cafe’s blend of soft pop music hammers nails into her skull.

The cafe is normally one of Brooke’s favorite places. The inside is cozy and comfortable and she often trades smiles with the workers, who know her name and usual order. But even the calming pale blue walls decorated with a rainbow of teacups and the largest collection of 90’s rom-com posters Brooke has ever seen outside a movie theatre weren’t enough to calm the raging tide of finals week.

Whose idea was it to make a final exam and papers due for five different classes, in the same week–

The rattle of a tiny plate snaps her head up. One of the workers–the new one, short with a smile that takes up her whole face and a booming laugh that rings through the cafe–stands next to Brooke’s chair. Brooke’s only talked to her a few times, each time losing her grip of the English language and resorting to communicating with nods and ‘yeahs’ while turning a flaming shade of crimson. The worker slides a giant chocolate chip muffin across the table, the chunks of chocolate soft and melty around the edges, the rich smell reminding Brooke of Saturday morning breakfasts when she was a kid.

“Oh, um, I didn’t order–”

“I know,” the girl–Vanessa, according to the sloppy scrawl on her name tag–replies. “It’s on the house. You look like you could use a muffin.”

Brooke’s face rushes with warmth the way it did after a sip of tea. “Oh. Thank you.”

“It was muffin,” Vanessa says smugly. “Get it? Like nothin’.” She raises a delicate eyebrow, bright white teeth exposed in a grin.

And in spite of herself, in spite of the pile of books and notes taller than a skyscraper next to her and the lack of words on her laptop, Brooke finds a smile spreading across her face.

“You’re funny,” she admits.

Vanessa runs a hand through her brown waves. “I know I am. You just challah if you need anything, okay?”

“As long as you’re not talking about knead like dough,” Brooke replies, her introduction paragraph flying out of her head to make room for Vanessa.

Vanessa points approvingly at Brooke. “I like you, Miss…”

“Brooke.”

“Miss Brooke, then. Just call me Vanessa.”

Brooke nods and turns back to her textbooks, her already-wavering focus fading even faster as she keeps whipping her head around to get glances of Vanessa behind the counter. Brooke watches Vanessa’s tiny arms replace the scones in the display case, watches her pull her long hair up and secure it with a red scrunchie, watches her smile to herself as her apron gets splashed with whipped cream.

Brooke’s face burns when she meets Vanessa’s eyes, and she turns her attention to the muffin instead, still warm, chocolate chips soft and gooey. It’s true that it’s the only real food she’s eaten all day, but Brooke thinks it would still be one of the best muffins she’s had either way.

Focus, Brooke. She gives up on her history paper and instead pulls out her notes from the stupid, mandatory math class she was forced to take, the numbers swirling around and looking like another language. Brooke can handle basic math, but having to know three months’ worth of formulas is making her leg bounce furiously, knee smashing into the table, mug rattling.

This final is almost half her grade, and if she fails, she doubts there’s hope of her passing the class. If she grovels for extra credit she might be able to scrape a C-plus, but Brooke didn’t even like seeing an A-minus, that tiny dash meaning she wasn’t quite good enough for an A.

Brooke forces herself to take a deep breath like her roommate Nina always tells her to do, but it’s not working. She’ll fail, and then everyone will know. She can just imagine the family Christmas dinner: her little cousins teasing her, her nosy grandmother interrogating her, the disappointed furrow of her father’s eyebrows. She usually dodges her family’s rapid-fire personal questions like a superhero dodging bullets, but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to dodge the fact that she failed her first semester of college.

Before she knows it, her eyes are watering, a product of too much stress and not enough sleep. Brooke has always been a crier, shedding tears over everything from sad movie scenes (she still has to look away when Mufasa dies) to leaving her cousin’s house after a sleepover to worries over the part she would get in a ballet performance. She’s reined it in over the years, avoiding the embarrassment and red cheeks that came with crying over everything, and yet here she is, sobbing in the middle of a cafe because of homework.

“Hey, what’s wrong? The muffin wasn’t that bad, was it? This is the first day they let me make ‘em, I don’t want somebody dyin’ on me.”

Brooke looks up through tear-blurred eyes and sees Vanessa next to her, holding out a tissue. She takes it, body hot with embarrassment and something else she can’t identify that this girl she barely knows is not only seeing her cry, but also trying to cheer her up. Brooke wipes her eyes hastily and blinks back every last tear.

“The muffin was really good, actually,” she reassures Vanessa. “I’m just stressed over school stuff.”

“Oh.” Vanessa’s eyes brim with concern. “Anything I can do?”

“I don’t think so. Thank you though.”

Vanessa nods, rubbing her hands together before clapping them. “I bet I can get you to laugh.”

Brooke shrugs. She’s barely smiled–though Vanessa already made her do that too–since finals week started. “You can try.” Brooke finds her posture straightening in response to the challenge she’s posed, and from the cocky sway of Vanessa’s hips as she plops into the red chair across from Brooke, she’s feeling the urge to prove herself.

“Why couldn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?”

“I don’t know.”

“Because he was stuffed!” Vanessa answers.

“If I could make cricket noises, I would,” Brooke says, but Vanessa doesn’t lose heart.

“What’s a ghost’s favorite muffin?” Vanessa tries.

Brooke shrugs.

“Boo-berry.”

Brooke’s teeth dig into her lip and she shakes her head. Vanessa just nods, smile widening.

“Don’t you worry, Brooke, I got you.” She pauses. “What dinosaur likes to drink tea?” Vanessa asks.

Brooke stares at her blankly.

“A Tea-Rex! Get it?”

Brooke tries to fight it, but a snort reluctantly escapes her lips. “That was awful,” she groans, tossing her napkin at Vanessa.

Vanessa smiles. “I got you to laugh, though.”

“Yeah, you did.”

There’s an awkward beat, and Brooke glimpses her laptop enter sleep mode, telling her that she’s not doing enough, and her face falls.

“You really worry about this school stuff, huh?”

“Yeah,” Brooke admits. She’s always worried too much about school, staying up all night to get the highest grade she could, sacrificing sleep and tying everything to a letter on a report card, giving it more value than she knew she should give it. But she just couldn’t stop it.

Vanessa leans in closer, her fingers brushing against Brooke’s, sending a lightning bolt up Brooke’s arm. “You’re probably sick of the ‘don’t worry’ shit, but just…take a breath. I know it’s hard, but school isn’t everything. I’ve been watching you. You always put a tip in the tip jar, and I know I messed up your coffee last week but you didn’t even say nothing, you just drank it like it was what you wanted. That’s more important than grades.”

They’re words Brooke has heard several times, from her friends, from her cousin, from guidance counselors. But there’s something about Vanessa’s warm eyes, the conviction in her voice, that makes Brooke listen this time. And the fact that Vanessa has noticed her, has thought about her, makes Brooke see past her cloud of stress and doubt, the worries weighing her down suddenly lightening.

“You’re right,” Brooke agrees.

“I know I am,” Vanessa says. She picks at her cherry red nail polish, then says, “So you’ll be going home after finals, right?”

Vanessa sounds oddly sad, and Brooke finds the sadness reaching her reply. “Yeah, but I’ll be back in a month. And I’m sure I’ll have a lot more homework to do here.” She smiles as she says it, eager in the prospect of seeing Vanessa again.

Vanessa brightens up like the sun, bathing the world in its joy. “I got a study tip for ya.” She reaches for one of Brooke’s index cards and her favorite blue pen with the fuzzy pom-pom on top. She scribbles something on the index card and slides it across the table with a blush. “I gotta get back to work. Good luck with school.”

“Thank you.” Brooke meets her eyes and they mirror each other in one last smile, and then Vanessa is back behind the counter.

Brooke peeks at the card and sees a phone number written in that messy, looping handwriting, and she vows that she’ll put that study tip to use tonight.

[kariachi]

Last episode of the day, and then I’m gonna be trying to organize shit on my Kevin Episode Order list. Actually been looking forward to this one, because I have reason to believe it has Information that I, as a Kevin fan and fanwriter, require.

Let’s start up to Adrenaland Jr.

I would like to point out that I typed up the above at 2pm and it is now 5pm. I am a disaster and mildly afraid of this episode. Also went out to dinner. Scallops and shrimp, it was nice. Moving on.

I still love that Max joins in on the selfie at the end of the intro. I’m sorry, it just warms my little black heart.

Ben, disheartened because Gwen wins at everything she does. Ever.

“You guys will be thanking me for days!“ Good luck, Max.

Oh look, they have been taken to a themepark. The Adrenaland Jr of the title. Adrenaland but kiddified. They do not seem impressed at this first look.

Awww, Max thought this was the same as normal Adrenaland and was trying to be cool. Poor Max.

Okay, scratch that. Ben is unimpressed, Gwen is more than happy to get another Adrenaland pin for her collection. As somebody who collected pressed pennies until they started asking for a whole damn dollar for them, I can relate.

Well she’s a little bit enthusiastic, in case anyone wondered if she and Ben were maybe related.

Max is trying so hard. And Ben is so unimpressed. And Gwen gives no shits because she has a pin to acquire.

Oh gods, she’s gonna have to beat a carnival game to get a pin. All her skills will be put to the test.

And it looks like this really is the one for kids, that is defs a ‘my first rollercoaster’.

The puns are horrible. That alone is worth not coming back to this park.

Ben: I must make this a good ride, so help me god *goes alien*

And we’re back to Gwen’s PinQuest

Oh she was so sure of herself, but Gwen this is a carnival game and so probably rigged to some degree.

Ben please don’t ruin this for the small children.

Left the littles nauseated after altering the ride, which is against the rules. Good job Benjamin, I hope this weighs on your conscience.

...these people are chill, very politely explaining why what Ben did was wrong and giving him a second chance to not fuck with shit before they’re going to move on to actual reprimands.

Ben, I swear to fuck.

Not the teacups, dear gods leave the teacups alone

Goddamnit Ben

Leave the people on the jungle safari alone, child! wtf!

Max is giving him a fourth chance to behave, honestly he’s a more patient man than me.

Even the park staff have had enough.

Stewart (worker of the game Gwen is failing miserably at) is both amazed she’s doing so poorly and also trying to be encouraging. Not quite working.

Also I’m nearly halfway through this episode and wondering where my son is at. I know he’s in this episode I’ve seen screenshots

There is a ‘ride’ that is just playing in a load of socks falling from the sky. Honestly I can almost see the appeal.

There’s my son! Bootleg-ing a Sock Tower. I am both disappointed and proud somehow.

Fucking flails, child? Have you considered adding maybe an ounce of chill to your diet?

Please let these two end up commiserating over how lame these rides are.

(I will admit though I did kinda want this to be something I could put as Kevin officially meeting Gwen, have him show her how to beat that game because he’s bored and holy shit she’s bad at this. It would’ve been nice and a good start to him kinda liking her while still giving her cousin shit.)

Kevin!

“There’s definitely something strange going on here“ Yes and it’s about 4′10 with an attitude problem and no sleeves

Oh look, a Kevin again. I think he’s ruining the day of the people on a ferris wheel, but it’s moving too fast to be sure.

“Dweeby-son and Dweeby-senior“ I feel like I should be judging him for the lack of variety but honestly fuck it, stick to a theme kiddo, live your dreams

“Of course you’d be here at the baby park“ Bitch, you are here too!

Oh lords and Ben can’t even hear him from up there

“See Ben, Kevin likes this park. It is cool!“ Max please.

“Better stop him before he starts destroying somethign else“ Just the tone Ben uses here, and the look on his face. Like a beagle owner whose dog just got really quiet in the backyard so they know it’s halfway across the county by now.

The boys pausing a fight on a roller coaster so a bunch of little kids could go past, because Kev’s a jerk and Ben is reckless but they’re not bad kids at heart.

Damn, Kevin is kicking ass and taking names today

Awww, little kid with a watergun trying to put out Heatbast

Gwen, meanwhile, is about to snap and start wearing people’s skins if she doesn’t beat this game. Kinda worrying Stewart.

Gwen is holding this man hostage until she beats this game. She is the biggest threat to this park right now.

Ben can at least read a room enough to figure out Kevin’s in a fouler mood than usual. Ponders if Kevin has issues with Adrenaland he’s working out with violence. And I am paused right here because, again, I’ve seen screenshots and I am scared.

Yep, my son is in a Mood.

Oh lords the boys ruined Gwen’s near win. Everybody run for shelter!

Sometimes, you look at these boys, and you think ’if they had any sort’ve chill, would they just die?’

Gwen so pissed off she knocked both of them back to human shape and has them cowering with naught but tone and expression

Even when she’s pissed she tries to be reasonable.

Oh gods Kevin pain incoming.

...welp. It’s brief but it damn well don’t need to be longer, we get plenty of info right there. Especially when you keep in mind that this is a visual medium and every choice is deliberate especially with shit like this. Gotta love that ‘subtle’ implication through the use of commercials that Kevin was raised by an alcoholic. If you didn’t read this in slightly forced manic tone, you are wrong.

Also I like the difference between the view we get of Kevin when it’s Kevin’s flashback as opposed to Ben’s. Ben’s flashbacks of Kevin in school have all had him as a joyful tormentor, active, outgoing, and very forward. Meanwhile, the little bit we get from Kevin’s pov has him very clearly alone, head down, not even glancing at the people around him. He doesn’t look up in the flashback until he’s home, and even then the look is one of contempt as he looks towards the front room. For the commercial, for his guardian, for both? We don’t know for sure. Then, when we come back from the commercial to face him again, he just looks tired before turning and heading up the stairs.

Actually, I am still horribly curious. I’m fairly certain all the other flashbacks with him, including his own, include his sleeves being gone, while they’re still around for this one. And the house he built his watch in was very clearly a one-story, while this one appears to be two-story, given the stairs and that Kevin seems to have just come in. Brings me back to my earlier wondering about if he was in foster care or something when we first met him. Or maybe he’s stuck in a dual custody situation, who knows. Just interesting little bits and pieces.

Gwen feels sorry for Kevin, as well she should, everyone should, somebody protect my child.

Ben: I’m done! If you’re a dick because your said then god as my witness you will stop being sad!

Kevin got his ride, and they’re getting kicked out before Gwen can get her pin.

The Tennysons are confused and Kevin unimpressed at the threat of using teddy-bear-based excessive force to remove them

Oh lords they’re being shoved out using squeaky teddybears

Max: At least we aren’t banned this time Park Employee: btw, here’s a You’re Banned pin

Kevin Levin, maintaining the tough-guy facade

Kevin: This park is only for dweebs Ben: This picture of you enjoying the fuck out of that ride I altered says otherwise

Gwen: I thought we got through to him Ben, who knows Kevin much better than she does: Oh we did

Gwen: *much feeling sorry for a Kevin* Kevin: *much ‘wow I actually enjoyed myself with other people for once’*

11/11 for Kevin and for Gwen

[princebete-archived-moved]

I GOT TAGGED BY @murroyilodel WHO’S A MEMER TO WRITE A SHITTY EXPLANATION OF MY CHARACTER AND I TOO HAVE NO SELF CONTROL.

Hello. my name is a giant controversial question mark. Most of the time it’s beast, but no one knows how offensive it is to be called beast after the thing, and ptsd but also before the thing. it was  both validating and offensive but is what it is. so here. I grew up a noble, and i was sorta spoiled. “ like. let  them eat cake” yanno what m sayin’?  and I was kinda rude sometimes, but i was catered to. so dont blame me how i turned out.  i never had to tie my own ribbons. ya dig? and my mother was dead. my dad, a real asshole!  he finally died. and so time went and i was 12 or 18 . it’s kinda confusing.  and weird and uncomfortable. i was a maN child, but either way.  i was fab. 

one night there was a partay. but no one likes me so no matter what--- the partay was employees. idc, cuz im rich and famous? yanno? and then this really weird old hobo of a woman shows up out of no where. it’s freezing... and im in my tights, ya? so i wanna shut that fuckin door, after I OFFERED to open it. or she did. idk! i couldve been high on some opium. not sure. but i was extrA paranoid. and this is a hobo. hob os  are very sneaky. no matter their age. lots of crap happening to royals in government. so, yes im scared.  i wasnt bout to let a liability come in and endanger my *cough*paid*cough* GUESTS and employees b y this woman. for all i know she could be a cannibalist. plus she was so creepy, she scared my guests, and something told me not to trust her.... and also outright buzzkill. and she couldn’t give me anything besides a rose. coulda been poisoned if i tried sniffing. so i puff up my chest n say no. cuz i want my people to know im protective no matter how much of an ass I am. and immediately she comes out of her guise. SHE IS UNDER FuCKING COVER. WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY? I HAD SOME INKLING? HOW IN THE HELL?? k she looks clean, potentially safer. why didn’t u show me before hand?? fricken hell. before i know it.  . .  iwent through my first/second? third? puberty.... and my terms of finding someone to love me before the last petal of this poison rose falls. and i transform into this  chimera...anthro thing. n i had more hair then i knew what to do witth. and my voice and height got lower and higher. it was kinda exciting to me. but when i saw myself in the mirror, i smash. and my servants were scary af too. movin around as inanimate objects. i couldnt come to terms right away. she left some presents to look at to make me feel better bout myself. PSYK!  and veentually over time i had to think of a way to get out of this predicament. but my whole life i paid to have friends.... how tf is a teacup gonna get a hold of someone to be a guest . a lady or whomeber to come break the curse without money? and who would wanna live in this shity hell hole? i dont. but im stuck. and there is wolves that attack when i try to leave, and when people come [ alone] SO. i wait for god knowsz how long. any iniorganic objects aka. servants dont age. but u kno. i do. cuz i suck. im an ass. i deserve it. mhmm. plus i look like a buffalo-lion who can stand on two legs. im HUGE. i could probably win the final four. anyways. finally this old dude comes. and i try to stay out of the way. but im afraid he gonna break a servant. so i wait in the sidelines. and some say he picked a rose. which i say he did. he took some shit. and i let him get away. but hte rose tirggered me. and i got angry. i put him in a cell. and waited till i could figure out what to do. till his annoying daughter comes in and ruins it all for me--cept oddly attractive.cuz she stands up to me. despite my appearance. takes his place like an idiot, but it’s thoughtful.  when she tries to touch a rose. like father like daughter. 

im triggered. AGAIN. 

whats with this family and touching my roses? I cant. 

after a while i fight some wolves n save her. cuz u try to leave by urself. u get attacked n shit. n the forest is over capacity. and i win. but ifaint. cuz i  got a scratch and im a big fat drama queen. she save me. even tho. im heavy af how? adrenaline?  idk. theres something there that was their before. she not telling me. it’s ok. cuz i like her. i fall for her and give her my library. and we do a little dance.... make a little lov---- uh. no. not that. but we got down at night to the ballroom. and she’s so pretty icant contain my shedding. and i feel warmth in my lower gut, but it’s ok. very okay. she rests on my chest. and i realize im the biggest fucking teddy bear ever. 

i found my mojo. 

and women or just people might actually like me. so im ok with this. maybe it can happen.she likes my creepy inanimate-but-animated employees. and i love her scent. but then she is sad. a nd i dont like that. that no good. she misses daddy. of course. but... maybe if i let her go she’ll give me a bj--AH I MEAN. she cAn be happy, and ill die. so. i let her go. despite the other servants thinking tnheir to be free of my  curse and resign [ cuz who wouldnt?] and disapp;ointed them. potts said i  loved her, for me. annoying. fucking. uGH. i can speak for myself thank you! i have an EXPENSIVE EDUCATUON. so ok. i brood and desapir on the tower. wait for lAst petal to fall. and this mob  comes. o h great. wel lthey can finnish me off. im sure the belle told them bout me. and she dont cAre. till a man comes. and taunts me. and shoots an arrow which is startling cuz OW MY PELT WAS PENETRATED  OMYFUCK.

i flail a bit, and instincts kick in. the beast is coming tru. it wants to hide. but also die. and just i was letting me. the angel of BJ--- I MEAN. BELLES VOICE gets me out of my moping. i come to. all happy like an idiot  to see her which make me look desperate. i get diginity and quickly overpower puny human. he’s kind fun to dangle... but realize that my mistress -- i mean, belle. is standing their and it’s not nice to kill in front of a lady. so i put him down. also cuzi wanna show im forgiving. and so he leaves and i as i approach belle to tell her ( NOT POTTS) i get a blow t o the back which inevitably killsz me.  and the petal falls before hand before she say i love y....ou. which means it’s over. 

but the enchantress take pity. and fix everything.it’s kinda like if u pay ur car payment a few days late. u have a grace period before u get called, and a late fee appears. some thin g. like that. 

this had grace period. and so i suddenly open my eyes. im blind. fuck. 

but no that’s just bright light. phew. nonetheless my retnas burn and undergo a quasi sailor senshi--/ butterfly transformation with mah cape. and the light encompasses me. it tingles. makes me hooman. 

i hooman now. now i hug everyone with similar strength. and now i partay again. but this time people like me more. BJ TIME.

TAGGING: @demoisellebeauty @femmelieutenant @forevercanspareaminute @belladonna-of-thraneal @queen-of-frozen-arendelle @next-door-nightmare @anastcsie and anyone else!!