#little poor awoo awoo

[jumpstrike]

@miistsoul's au ideas combined into onee

[charliemwrites]

Good morning! This is just a warm up, not canon to the series.

Anyway — bark, woof, awoo

It’s a cool fall day when you nearly die.

Johnny’s run off into the woods barking - not his scary bark but his excited bark. You’re worried that he’s gonna get his teeth in some poor local wildlife and go hurrying after him, boots unlaced.

Of course it’s hopeless to go chasing after a wolf-dog even running at half speed, but you can’t stand the thought of him coming home with a dead bunny or something. So off you go, clomping through the trees, calling for your big dumb fluffy butt to come home.

But it’s not your Johnny that comes trotting out of the trees. No, it’s an even bigger, wolfier looking dog. Creamy white fur, honey gold eyes, and odd black markings around the face like a skull. You instantly know he’s not like your goofball, a little less human-friendly, perhaps more feral. Looks at you like he’s trying to decide if you’d make a decent meal.

Is someone breeding them and just.., letting them out?? Some weird poorly thought out attempt to reintroduce wolves to the UK? The thought makes you frown, praying that you won’t come out here one day to find some poor pups struggling in the wilderness.

For now though, you’ve got yet another gorgeous animal in front of you.

“Well, hello,” you coo, softening and smoothing your voice. His ears tick forward. “Look at you, handsome thing. Have you seen my Johnny boy?”

The dog tilts his head - your first indication that he is familiar with humans, recognizes the tone of a question. You hum.

“Alright big guy, would you like to come with me to find him or are you doing your own thing?”

He doesn’t respond (of course) except to make a little “ruff” noise. You consider him for another moment, then decide he’s not being aggressive and it’s safe to continue your search.

You turn and continue on the path, calling for Johnny. Don’t get far before your new friend sweeps in front of you, blocking the way forward. You make a noise as you stop quick, nearly losing your balance to avoid stepping on his paws.

“Oh you big jerk,” you huff. He instantly starts pushing at you, big shoulders pressing against your stomach as he shoves a big, wet nose into your neck and face, focusing on your mouth. You roll your eyes and gently push his nose away.

“Knock it off,” you grumble, trying not to laugh. “You wolves are so rude. You don’t need to do that to smell me.”

He moves on to your clothes, all the way down to your crotch. You’re ready this time though, taking a big step back and guiding his face up by the chin.

“No.”

He snorts and shakes off, looking almost annoyed.

“Oh, yeah, how dare I not let you sniff my junk?” you scoff, rolling your eyes. “Grow up, you big baby.”

A deep, raspy grumble starts up in his chest. You ignore him, patting at the thick muscle of his shoulder.

“Yeah yeah, you’re a big scary boy,” you joke. “Ya gonna bite me? Show me your big pretty teeth?”

When you reach for his face he takes a step back, ears flicking. Looks almost shellshocked. You finally break, giggling as you croon baby noises at him.

“Oh, poor boy, did I spook you? I’m sorry, baby. No, no you’re very scary. Very intimidating.” You start scooting around him, amused how curves around you almost like he’s afraid you’re going to touch him. “It’s okay, buddy, I just need to find my boy. I’m not out to get you.”

As if on cue, Johnny comes bursting from the trees. He barks when he sees you, then almost comes up short when he realizes the other dog is there.

You become acutely aware that you’re not all too sure how Johnny will respond to another dog - especially one so close to you given his protectiveness. You instantly move between them, calling his attention.

“There you are, Bonnie Johnny! Where have you been?! Naughty boy, you better not have eaten anything fluffy.” His ears go back, a little whine starting up. He ducks his head to let you grab at his muzzle, inspecting him for anything gross. “I do not feel like wrangling you to brush your teeth.”

Luckily, he seems clean. Whatever had him so excited, he must not have caught.

Movement behind you catches your attention, the other dog loping closer. Your eyes bounce between them, watching body language for any aggression or hostility. To your relief, Johnny seems almost excited by this new friend - the other one… well, he seems a bit more subdued, but lets Johnny lick at his chin and bump into his side.

“Okay, ready to head home, baby boy?” you ask, giving Johnny’s collar a gentle tug. “I have to start making dinner.”

He whines, turning those big blue eyes on you and positioning himself behind the other dog. You groan.

“Johnny, really… I don’t know if I can handle two of you. I don’t even think he likes me very much.”

As if to spite you, the other dog sits and leans in, licking at your hand. And damn it, it’s cute.

“Alright, hold on, let’s just see if…”

This time, the other dog lets you touch, feels around his neck for a collar that unsurprisingly isn’t there. You feel around his shoulders too, hoping for that tiny bump that means he has a microchip, but nope.

“If I have a nickel for every time I found a wolf-dog in the woods…” you sigh, turning back for home. “It would be two nickels but it’s weird that it happened twice.”

When you notice both pups stalling, you whistle sharply.

“Come. It’s getting cold.”

Johnny instantly bounds ahead with excitement while your new companion is slightly slower, staying just a bit behind and to the side of you so that you can see him from the corner of your eye.

Back at home, Johnny leads the way inside. The strange dog looks around curiously, sniffs at a few spots. It’s then that you remember Johnny marking the house his first couple days and notice that Mystery Dog is also unaltered.

“Hey.” Both dogs turn to you. You point at the new one sternly. “If you pee on anything in here - anything - I’m dying you pink. By god I’ll do it, there are dog safe hair dyes.”

You get a sneeze for that and he walks away with disinterest, but at least he keeps his leg down. You’ll take it.

Dinner is interesting, no fussing or fighting over food from either of them. When they’re done, you retire to the couch, Johnny happy to follow up until he sees that his new friend isn’t coming as well.

He starts yipping, bouncing, bowing, trying to get the new one to follow. You’re amused up until Johnny nips and the bigger dog growls, showing teeth. You plant yourself instantly between them.

“Hey.” You look the new dog in the eye, get into his space and back him away from Johnny. “No the hell you’re not.”

The new dog stares, eyes locked on yours, ears swiveling. You don’t back down, watching and looking waiting, still bodily between him and Johnny. Until finally his ears go back and he sneezes, laying down.

“Good.” You soften your voice, sigh. “Good boy.”

You offer your hand. Get a sniff and a resigned lick, then scratch at your new boy’s ears.

“You be nice, big boy. Everyone in this house is mine. I take care of everyone.”

His eyes do a weird thing then. You’re not sure how to describe it, combined with the way his head tilts. But you just chalk it up to Weird Dog Things and finally return to the couch, an oddly subdued Johnny clambering up with you.

“You can join us, honey,” you call to the other dog. “You’re welcome up here if you behave.”

He doesn’t take you up on it for awhile. You and Johnny settle in for your usual nightly shows. And then, about an hour later, movement draws your eye. The Mystery Dog, standing at the edge of the couch with his tail down, ears neutral.

Earlier drama forgotten, you smile at him.

“Hi there,” you chirp, “you want up? C’mon, bud. Up.”

He hops up with surprisingly gentleness, picking his way around your limbs and Johnny’s. He ends up crawling over your dog and settling half on top of him, and half on top of you, his chin settled between Johnny’s stupid perky ears. Johnny seems thrilled so you laugh a bit.

“What good boys,” you coo, giving them each a scratch and receiving a kiss in return. “Alright, this isn’t so bad.”

You fall asleep there, already trying to come up with name for your new pup. Maybe Phantom.

Main Story | Konig pt. 1

Masterlist

[radio-charlie]

New subgenders just dropped

[dark-frosted-heart]

He Doesn't Know That I Turned into an Animal - Roger Barel (Part 1)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. None of my translations are proofread until a day after posting

(Mm…I should get up and get ready)

It’s been a while since I had a free day. It was such a nice day, perfect for going out.

…And then I felt something squirming about on my butt.

(Huh? There’s something weird about my body…)

Feeling uneasy, I got out of bed and the moment I looked in the mirror, any morning drowsiness left disappeared.

Kate: Arf…arf?! (Wha…What the?!)

In the mirror was an adorable golden-brown corgi with round eyes. 

What I felt moving on my butt earlier was a short corgi tail.

(I’m a dog?! What do I do…Am I dreaming?!)

(I need to get help…!)

--

(I’m out in the hall now, but who do I go to…?)

Liam: Huh? It’s an adorable little doggie! What’s it doing here?

Harrison: Did someone bring it here…?

Kate: Woof! Woofwoof! (Liam! Harrison!)

Glad to see the two, I rushed over to them.

Liam: Wow, it’s so friendly and cute. I wonder if it’s lost?

Harrison: It’s a corgi, right? Roger’s “Ale”* is also a corgi.

Liam: …Then I wonder if this pup’s Roger’s corgi? Let’s ask. Are you Roger’s?

Liam crouched down to meet my gaze.

Kate: Arf…arf! (No…I’m Kate!)

Liam: Hm. Sorry, I don’t understand, I don’t speak dog.

Harrison: …Then why’d you even ask?

(I’ve really turned into a dog…)

It’s not due to Alfons’ power or a dream…

(How did this happen…?)

Harrison: For now, let’s bring it to Roger.

--

Liam: Roger, you here~?

Roger: What, you get hurt again?

When Roger turned around and saw me in Liam’s arms…his eyes widened with surprise.

Roger: You…!

(Maybe Roger realizes that it’s me?!)

Roger: You’re soooooo cuuuuuute!

Roger smiled widely and began petting me everywhere.

Roger: Who’s a good dog? You are!

(So aggressive…!)

Roger: You’re so cute…Can I give you a kiss?

Kate: Grrrr (Ab-so-lute-ly not!!)

Roger: No? Then can I smell you?

(What kind of compromise is that?!)

In my confusion, Roger buried his face in the neck and took a big whiff.

Roger: Ahh…the smell of dogs…! The best medicine out there!

(I’ve never seen Roger like this before…)

Roger: Phew… So, who’s dog is this?

Liam: I thought the little one was yours. It’s not?

Roger: Nope, not ours. We don’t have a lot of dogs. So…Are you lost~? You poor thing~

With a smile…No, with a lovestruck look on his face, Roger started petting me again.

He was probably concerned about me being a lost dog…but petting was his priority.

(This is my first time seeing Roger be so affectionate with a dog, and it surprised me at first. But now…I don’t know…)

(It feels so good getting pet…)

Liam: Ah, the doggie’s wagging its tail! Looks like it likes Roger.

Roger: Oh…you like me? Haha, you’re so cute!

He suddenly lifted me out of Liam’s arms.

Maybe it’s because he’s so used to handling dogs, but the way he picked me up gave a sense of stability and security.

Roger: Hmm…

Kate: …?

Roger: You don’t have any, so you’re a girl.

Kate: Yip! (Don’t look!)

Roger: Oops, sorry.

(Even though I’m a dog, I can’t believe you looked at my butt…)

(It somehow feels like I lost something important…)

Roger: Don’t look so down. I won’t do it again.

Harrison: So, can you look after the dog, Roger? We got a mission.

Roger: With a dog this cute, I can take care of countless of them. Oh, that’s right. Have you seen the lil’ lady? I wanted her to help out with an experiment, but she wasn’t in the dining room at breakfast.

Harrison: Nope, haven’t seen her.

Liam: She has the day off so she’ls probably sleeping in?

Roger: Then I’ll let her sleep.

Kate: Arf arf! Arf arf! (I’m right here! Here!)

Roger: I know. We gotta find your owner today, don’t we?

(You didn’t understand me at all…!)

--

And so Roger went around asking everyone in Crown about the corgi.

But I’m not a lost dog, so there’s no owner to find…

Roger: If no one knows you, then you must’ve wandered in from outside.

Kate: Awoo…(It’s not that…)

Roger: I’ll find your owner so cheer up.

Roger patted my head as if to make me feel better.

(Ugh…I really can’t resist this feeling…!)

My short tail started wagging and Roger smiled at the sight.

Roger: You’re getting used to me now. Will you let me kiss you soon?

Kate: Grrr! (No!)

Roger: Not yet…Well, a girl’s kiss should be saved for a prince, shouldn’t it?

(I wonder if Roger’s being so romantic because he’s talking to a dog…)

Roger: Well, since you’re from outside, there’s someone I want you to meet. Be a good girl and wait for a moment?

Kate: Arf! (Got it!)

Roger: Oh, a nice response.

Roger petted me, attached a collar around my neck, tied a leash to the stair railing, and left.

A while later…

Roger: Sorry for the wait.

Kate: Arf! Arf…(Welcome back! Ro…ger…)

???: Arf! Aarf! (Who’re you? Never seen you before!)

When Roger came back, he brought a corgi with him.

The corgi circled me in excitement.

Kate: A-arf…?! (The dog’s talking…?!)

???: Arf? Arf! (What’re you talking about? You’re a dog too!)

(That’s right, since I’m a dog now, I understand dogs…)

Roger: This guy’s Ale, my family’s dog.

Ale: Arf! Woof?! (I’m Ale! What’s your name?)

Kate: …Arf (...I’m Kate)

Ale: Woof! (Nice to meet you!)

Roger: Ale’s got a habit of circling around any dog or person he meets for the first time. I brought him over from my folks’ place to have him check if you’re from around here… But it looks like it’s the first time you two are meeting. So…you’re not from around here. This is bad.

Roger scratched his head and sighed.

Roger: Nah, can’t give up now. Let’s go on a walk. Dogs know how to find their way home. Maybe you’ll remember on a walk.

--

Thinking I was a lost dog, Roger took me out on a dog walking route.

Of course, Ale was with us.

Roger: Anything ring a bell?

Kate: Awoo…(No…)

(I’m making trouble for Roger by looking for a nonexistent owner…)

(I need to work on making him understand that I’m Kate…!)

(And to do that…)

Roger: What’s up? If you’re running off like that, then…Do you know where your home is?

Kate: Arf! (Yes!)

As I ran down the road in this body of mine, Roger naturally followed after.

Ale: Woof woof! (I’m not gonna let you get away!)

And so, we arrived at—

Roger: …Crown castle?

(This is my home…so please realize that it’s me, Roger!)

Roger: The fact that we came back here…You really don’t know how to get home, do you?

(He still doesn’t get it…)

Ale: Woof woof! (I’m hungry after all that running!)

Roger: Can’t do anything else now… I’m sure you’re beat after today, so I’ll take you back to Crown.

--

Roger: Time to eat. You two, “stay”.

Roger left Ale and I in the dining room and headed to the kitchen.

(What will he prepare for us? Not human food, right?)

Ale: Woof woof! (Roger’s great at cooking!)

Ale sounded very proud when talking about Roger.

(Roger must’ve doted on him a lot while Ale was growing up…)

Ale: Woof? (You can’t eat until Roger gives you the ‘okay’, got it?) Arf! (That’s how you show respect to the cook!)

Kate: A-arf! (G-got it!)

Roger: Sorry for the wait. I made you two dinner.

(Roger’s cooking? T-this is…!)

He brought out plates of stewed meat and vegetables chopped into small pieces.

(It smells good...Looks delicious)

Ale: Awoo! (Come on, come on!)

Ale jumped around Roger’s feet as if he couldn’t wait any longer.

Roger: Haha, calm down Ale. I’m bringing you down to the infirmary first.

--

Roger: Sit, wait… Okay, go ahead!

At Roger’s signal, we started eating.

(I never thought this would be how I’d try Roger’s cooking…)

(It’s dog food, but it’s really food)

I was so mentally exhausted and the delicious food prepared with care filled my body.

Ale: Woof? Woof? (You haven’t finished your food. Need help?)

Having already finished his food, Ale nudged my plate with his nose.

Roger: Come on, Ale. You already ate.

Roger pulled Ale away, allowing me to finish my food in peace.

Kate: Arf (Thank you for the food)

Roger: You ate well. I’m glad you have an appetite. Now let’s clean this up and then…

Victor: Roger! Do you have a moment?

Victor came down to the infirmary and called out ot Roger with a serious look on his face.

Roger: Yeah. …You two be good and wait, okay?

After Roger and Victor left the basement, Ale started talking to me.

Ale: Woof woof! (Roger’s a great guy and a great cook!)

Kate: Arf (You’re right. I was surprised by how delicious it was)

Ale: Arf. Arf! (Right? Roger’s amazing!)

Ale sat proudly as if talking about himself.

Ale: Arf! Arf! (Oh! Let me tell you about the time I met Roger!)

~~ Flashback in Ale’s POV ~~

—It was when I was a small puppy.

Before meeting Roger, I lived with another man.

(I’m so hungry… It feels like I haven’t eaten in a while…)

Puppy: Awoo…(Hey, hey, is there food?)

I nudged at the man lying on the bed with my nose. But he didn’t move a muscle.

(Haven’t you been sleeping for the past few days? Why?)

(You’re cold. I guess I’ll warm you up!)

Avoiding the bottles of alcohol littered around the room, I jumped onto the bed and snuggled the man.

He usually got mad at me when I got on the bed with my dirty paws, but he didn’t say anything today.

(Hey, wake up already)

(If you’re so bored every day that you can only drink, then I’ll play with you)

How much time’s passed?

Just as I was about to pass out from starvation, someone pounded on the door.

Roger: It’s Roger! You there?! Don’t be so pessimistic about your life. I’m cursed like you— 

—Anyway, let me explain in person! If you’re pretending you’re out, I’m kicking down your door!

After shouting, there was a crack and the door broke, allowing a man with glasses to come in.

Puppy: Arf arf! (Who’re you!)

I circled around the man with glasses.

It’s a habit I still have, circling new people and dogs as a precaution.

Roger: A dog…? You’re so thin. Where’s your owner…

The man with glasses looked up at the bed and gasped.

Puppy: Arf! Arf! (He’s been sleeping forever! Wake him up!)

Roger: Ah, damn it! I was too late… If I came sooner, I might’ve been able to stop him…

Puppy: … Awoo…? (Do you mean he might not wake up again…?)

Roger: Sorry I couldn’t save your owner…

~~ Flashback end ~~

Ale: Arf (And that’s how Roger and I met)

(It happened like that…)

Ale: Woof… (My previous owner stopped moving on his bed on the night of a thunderstorm) Arf! (I’m still scared of thunder so Roger covers my ears!)

Kate: Arf (That’s kind of him)

Ale: Arf? Woof! (Right? If you know Roger’s good points, then you’re a good guy!)

After that, Roger returned to the infirmary. 

Roger: Oh? You two are getting along well already? That’s good.

(...Huh? Why do you look so down, Roger?)

(What did Victor say?)

Ale: Woof woof! (This girl’s a good one, so I want her to be your wife!)

Kate: Yip!? (What are you talking about, Ale!?)

Ale: Arf! Arf! (Wife! Wife!)

I frantically chased after Ale who was spouting nonsense.

Roger: Haha, are you playing tag? It’s nice to see you so full of energy.

(Right now I’m glad Roger doesn’t understand dog…)

Roger: For now… Let’s go take a bath.

*Roger’s dog’s name is written as エール, which I’m translating as “Ale”

[goddesstrolls]

A new set of adopts + the old ones all together! All of these are $25, except for Autumn Court Fae, which is $30.

I’ll also do customs in this style for $30. Adopts can be held for a few days unless otherwise arranged. Also, if you decide to commission me for more artwork of the adopt, you’ll get a 10% discount :>

Availability under the cut!

Poor Little Meow Meow: Unsold It’s On The Mouse!: ON HOLD “Bog Witch”: Unsold Desert Runner: Unsold Autumn Court Fae: Unsold Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: SOLD Pyro Princess: SOLD Soft Awoo: SOLD

[leggerefiore]

I know Zoroarks are based of foxes, but I’ve always seen them as more akin to wolf-like creatures. For that reason and that reason alone, I believe with 100% faith that Zoroark!Ingo can and does howl. If you even jokingly howl, he absolutely will join you and then immediately feel embarrassed afterwards.

jsjjrsn my friend gives them both wolf and fox traits so this works lmao

even their pokedex entries hint at it by saying they live in packs (since irl foxes don't do that). they're based off werewolves and kitsune i think?

Turning on a video of dogs howling and watching as your Zoroark bf's ears perk up, and he turns his head to the video before unconsciously starts howling. He then turns bright red and buries his face in his hands. The urge to awoo wins in his poor canine like mind. He asks why you torment him like this. (If you try this with Emmet, he starts growling because he thinks there's Rivals nearby.)

Putting up a “No Awoo Zone” sign in your bedroom and watching as the twin slumps his shoulders and pouts. How cruel to him, you are. Poor guy won't survive like this. He still wanders outside and does it when his brother or/and kits still aren't home and it's late. You can't help but laugh a little at it all.

[stealthrockdamage]

Top five fictional women

incredibly dangerous prompt thank you so much. this is so difficult because there are so many really really good fictional women and i think this list will be subject to a bunch of recency bias from my brain because i'm godawful at keeping track ofthings i like but i'll give you my best attempt

5. ryo yamada (bocchi the rock!) - she's silly she's bassist she's just like me for real (untrue i will literally never have her level of swag) anyway i think she kisses women a whole lot

4. baiken (guilty gear series) - i think i hauve Covid need her to princess carry me bark bark awoo you get the idea. i like how she just doesn't care about anything. doesn't care about her appearance even so her outfit is just Like That. but more so than her body her insane need for revenge(? i think? not too familiar with guilty gear story stuff) is like wildly attractive. i just think she's super hot boss

3. tsubasa hanekawa (monogatari series) - okay so this is pure recency bias and also the only time you'll catch me alive openly talking about knowing anything about monogatari (< probably untrue) but i really like her is the thing. she suffers so well. nothing ever ever ever goes her way. if she ever took off her limiters the world would grovel at her feet but she's too much of a sweetie pie. she can't help it. poor thing she is sooooo fucked up

2. melia antiqua (xenoblade series) - what is it with me and girls who have to suffer through untold misery and have enough power to make the world quake

midna (the legend of zelda: twilight princess) - she did insane shit to my fragile little 8 year old mind when i was a kid. good lord. do i need to explain

[the-abyssal-maw]

Had a werewolf dream last night. I wasn’t physically turning, but everyone knew what I was and so did I. I was like in this little kind of underground community with some friends and we ran into a guy who’s previously been mean to me years ago, so I tore his ass all the way up. It’s not unusual for me to bark in my sleep (friends and family can attest to this), and I didn’t sleep great because I kept waking myself up. XD

And THEN my second alarm went off this morning (which is a wolf howl) and I was so In It™ that I howled back and woke up long enough to see my poor cat startled on her cat tree.

Still ended up oversleeping somehow…

I’ve always been an active dreamer. It’s not as fun as it sounds, especially now that I’m adult age with a schedule to keep. But this one was nice. 7/10 would awoo again.

[puppygirltitties]

Hewwo my darling my love my poor little bow wow could I pawsibly potentially maybe get an awoo? 🥺👉👈

oh of course my love!!! ૮₍˶˃Ⱉ˂˶ ₎ა ᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀʷʷʷʷʷʷᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ˎˊ˗

[crypticcodexcreations]

4 and 21 for Fenrir please!!

(@andromedatalksaboutstuff)

Ah yes, my awoo boy. Time for him to get some attention because I am a big fucking softy for this poor man.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? - Gonna be honest, I did not know the answer to this at first. I sat here. I thought. I cursed a little and asked my partner for thoughts. And here we are. The answer is yes. When he was very little, he and his mom were in a bad car crash and she died. This has messed with him, including being part of why he doesn't talk all that much. He's only really ever felt comfortable talking to his dad about it.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? - Fenrir is fun here because he absolutely blames himself quite a bit, but also knows he shouldn't. Every time someone treats him poorly because they think he's creepy, he thinks "Maybe if I talked more, they wouldn't think I was creepy" Every time someone thinks he's threatening, he thinks "Maybe if I weren't so big and didn't get in so many fights, they wouldn't find me so threatening." The list goes on. He knows it's not the truth, but even so, he just wishes that he could do something about it, you know?

[wolfkcst]

On the hunt, prowling with sharp claws and steady breath. Eivor may not be nearly as stealthy when they're a werewolf, but they were blood thirsty. They have pushed back this urge for long enough, so when a cultist came out of hiding they lunged at the poor bastard and tore his throat out with their very sharp maw. They are quick to gobble down the rest - and even if it made them feel a little sick to think with their human mind and do this... Well, it was best to keep the beast tamed before it lashed out. Not even the brain worm could stop its fury. Heavily panting after, blood dripping from their maw as they quickly snapped their head towards the sound of approaching feet. Hair stand up, ready to attack just in case it was another cultist but... They immediately recognize this was indeed not another cultist, and slowly lowered themselves to where they seem less of a threat and more neutral. Should the need arise, however... ❝Being out here alone is foolish. Too many monsters, and not just me.❞ They speak with caution, tail swaying slowly. Contemplating if he is to be trusted or not. To move their claws from the corpse or to remain where they are - its hard to tell. awoo sc. || @moonlitdelirium -Yul

[appleteeth]

(Subject to change, in no particular order)

Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death)

My beautiful, soft, idiot romantic hero. He literally ran away to be gay and do crimes. The most autistic character and, importantly, one who is loved for all of his nd traits. It's the role Rhys was born to play, there is nobody else who could have pulled it off.

Werewolf Alpha Anton (awoo) (What We Do In The Shadows)

The tired dad energy. The desperation to keep everyone behaving themselves. The indignation at the vampires. He needs a long stay in one of those fancy kennels to get some sleep.

Murray Hewitt (Flight of the Concords)

The most pathetic of Rhys's pathetic characters. Worst band manager in history. Will cry to get a record deal. Has the backbone of a wet digestive biscuit.

Steve Rutherford (Wrecked)

Nazi killer. Pirate fucker. Cool guy. Champion chest player. The best maniac to ever get hunted for sport. He went from 1-2 episode guest-star to one of the main cast, and he deliver a fucking punchline without screaming it, unlike the rest of the cast

Mary Ledbetter (Short Poppies)

The cuntiest of all cunty characters. Pure evil and incredibly petty. She reminds me of so many awful women who want to spend their retirements ruining everyone else's lives. Pray for her poor husband, he's probably going to end up under the patio.

His impression of himself when he was in the army (Stand-up specials)

(gif by @ wastingyourgum)

Another incredibly pathetic character, but this time with boyish enthusiasm and complete ineptitude. Got lost within his own camp, whined at his commanding officer when the person he shot at with imaginary bullets didn't play dead, could not spot a tank during observation training, and rescued a grand total of 3 sheep. So bad at army-ing he got told to go to university instead. Legend.

Pabu-Chan (Big in Japan)

The all-pronoun icon themselves. I'm already a sucker for a cute Japanese mascot, so for one to be so fucking adorable and a big pavlova to boot - it's like she was made with me in mind. Nobody tell Rhys that Yuru-chara are supposed to be silent.

Angus Nutsford (The Boat That Rocked)

I have such a fondness for this character because not only is he based on Kenny Everett in his early pirate radio days, but Rhys pulls off this fucking stellar scene where he confesses to having been with another man. And you know that it was meant to be played as a joke because that's the sort of film it is, but Rhys did the whole thing with a quiet dignity whilst also still being funny. I dunno, maybe I've got my Rhys-tinted glasses on but it never seemed like he played this character being bi as a joke.

Also, he had the best fucking line of the film ("Try and fuck your way out of this one!") which of course was ad-libbed because Richard Curtis could never.

Casper (Relax I'm From The Future)

(gif by @ ratchet)

I've so far only seen the trailer and I've decided I love this mess of a time traveller. He does a little dance when he eats, he smokes a joint, he goes partying at a metal gig, he gets beaten up at least twice. I've only had Casper for a few days but if anything were to etc etc etc.

Terry Pole (Short Poppies)

Two reasons:

1. Rhys literally created Terry Pole so he could show off his legs.

2. His wife says this character, out of everyone in Short Poppies, is most like him.

The cocky little shit.

@ whoever sees this, who are your top 10 favourite Rhys Darby characters and why?

[altocat]

It's October yaaaaaay What are the Firsts (and Cloud) going as for Halloween?

Spoopy Month!!!! Let's gooooo!

-Genesis and Angeal are old-school. Back in Banora, they were all about the classic haunted hay rides and traditional monsters. Angeal goes as a werewolf and specifically grows out his sideburns for the occasion. He also made the punch for the costume party and gets adorably bashful in his little wolf suit whenever you compliment it. He's too embarrassed to give a nice awoo though. And is probably the first one out there handing out candy for the kiddos because he's your wholesome honor dad.

-Genesis goes 110% on vampire and everything it entails. Dramatic hand movements, alluring monologuing, fancy clothes, and threatening to bite Seph every five minutes. He is constantly snapping at people with his "fangs" and loves the spinny cape. He's living his absolute best life and put the most effort in his costume. Winning first place makes him start crying like he just won a Nobel Prize.

-In his usual grumpy fashion, Sephiroth thinks this is all incredibly childish and doesn't want to participate. When Lazard reminds him that costumes are mandatory, he very pointedly takes a single sticky note, puts it on his chest, and declares himself a refrigerator. He won't budge one bit. Buuut he finds he does like the spooky ambiance. After Genesis spikes the punch and gets everyone thoroughly drunk, Sephiroth is dared to tell scary stories and he recounts a pants-shitting nightmare he had as a child that makes the whole room go dead quiet, happily ensuring nightmares of their own tonight.

-Zack would probably go as some sort of super hero, or whatever the equivalent is in Gaia. Lots of nyooming around the room and speaking in full exclamations. After the punch incident, he is the first one out there on the dance floor going full ham with some sick moves. Angeal has to drag him back to his room because the poor thing gets absolutely trashed and vomits all over his cape. Poor puppy.

-Cloud went as his childhood hero, Sephiroth. He put a ton of effort into his costume too! But chickened out the second he entered the room worrying what Sephiroth would say. So when people ask him why his hair's all silver and weird, Cloud insists he's "an alien or something". Unfortunately, this completely backfires because now Sephiroth won't leave him alone and is constantly asking Cloud what he knows about his special interest (astronomy). Cloud is not having a good time 😭

[o-wyrmlight]

Same anon here about the costumes! And ye, I really like Vanilla’s jeans xD it looks so cute. If the hat was different, I would love it.

The reason I like Red Velvet’s its because Blue and red are a pretty combination for me, but the colors in the hair do look weird, the others look good for me. If you dont like it, thats perfectly okay! What’s your favorite costume so far? Mine are Red Velvet’s, Madeleine’s, Blackberry’s and Espresso’s! They’re also some of my favs, so win win for me!

For some reason, I didn't really like Espresso's at first. I didn't like any of them, actually, when I first saw them, except maybe Werewolf's, and even then, it was mostly 'I feel neutral about this one'.

But these two have kind of grown on me. I like how the blue isn't the main color for Espresso and is mostly used as an accent. He looks as handsome and distinguished as he always does, albeit a bit less showy with how less Shaped his cape is. But I quite like it in hindsight.

And Madeleine looks distinguished, as well! Look at him go! My boy has his haired tied up out of his face. He doesn't need to worry about it getting in his face when he fights! I wonder if this is the outfit he wore when he was a Knight Commander in the Republic, to be honest--or if this was before he got his sword and was 'chosen by the Divine'.

Red Velvet I've already talked about.

I really like Blackberry's, though! She looks low-key like an old-timey detective with her trench coat and her hat! Very mysterious! Her hair's also very cute. She looks very well put-together.

Werewolf Cookie's is a lot more subtle. Poor little awoo boy. But sometimes subtle is good. Sometimes a costume can be a little hair job and new clothes and that's it.

Beet Cookie. Sweetheart. You aren't going to blend in with nature like that. Wait, actually, she looks like Daphne from Scooby Doo! That is SUPER cute. I like the costume just because of that now.

And Pure Vanilla... He looks nice. I don't like his hat very much, and I'm concerned about what happened to his eye staff, and I'm not sure why they felt the need to put so many details on his cloak with a color that's so damn close to white that you can barely see it. But he looks cute in jeans, and the shawl he's wearing looks like it was made from wool, which makes me think 'sweater', which makes me think 'dressing up for the cold'. And that makes me think that maybe that's what he wears when he goes to visit colder places. And, well... Dark Cacao lives in a colder climate.

But that's just a theory! A game--

[morsking]

nehan’s kit is fucking hilarious. he can’t buff himself. he has low hp. his defence is reduced. he has glass bones and paper skin and all he can do is shoot up his friends with drugs and watch them go ham. absolute poor little meow meow (or perhaps awoo awoo).

[milfstalin]

as if she hasn't already suffered enough... my poor little meow meow... my poor little awoo awoo...

stalin would have done so well on estrogen