#little mix songfic
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I would die happy
Pairings: teen!Natasha Romanoff x teen!reader
Song Inspiration: very loosely based off of the songs Casual by Chappell Roan and Ashley by Zolita (They’re good to listen to before hand but not necessary. I’ll link them)
Prompt: what happens when “good girl” y/n breaks it off with “bad girl” Natasha and Natasha realizes she needs y/n more than she thought?
Warnings:mentions of sex, angst then fluff, mentions of death? (From the song).
Pronouns: unspecified (one use of ma’am but in a silly way)
A/N: No this is not an actual songfic. I just took inspiration from the songs so there might be a line or five in the mix. I have had these songs stuck in my head the past few days and I kept imagining like a teen romance coming out of it? Idk. Hopefully I write this better than the last one 😭
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Y/n’s pov
I am in my room doing my homework when I hear tapping on my window. I look up from my neat desk to see Natasha.
My instinct is to smile and open the window up but I freeze.
Natasha Romanoff.
Bad girl. She vandalizes things. She doesn’t participate. And she dresses like a fuck boy.
Some call her a player. Some call her a cheater.
Whatever they think there’s one thing everyone can agree on. Natasha romanoff does not do relationships.
She’s usually the one night stand type of girl but then she met me. And that’s when everyone says she went soft. She never fucked another girl other than me.
But that’s all. For half a year. All she’s ever done is sex, aftercare, leave, repeat.
Another set of tapping falls upon my ears and I zone back in. I open the window and whisper
“What are you doing here?”
Natasha crawls in and says
“Wanted to see you. You alright there? You zoned out for a sec”
I nodded my head and my eyes fall upon her necklace. It’s silver with a little arrow.
I hate myself when I think of it. I nod my head and say
“Yeah. Totally fine. Just doing some homework”
I sit back down at my desk even though I know why Natasha is here.
After a whole 6 months of this it’s hard to not know what her routine is. But I don’t want it anymore.
Obviously I caught feelings. Who wouldn’t catch feelings for her? I just thought that I would get over it. I thought that having some of her is better than none of her at all right?
Wrong.
I cry so much now. All I want is for her to love me back. But that’s not reality. She doesn’t do love. She doesn’t do relationships. And I can’t do it anymore.
Natasha walks up behind me and rubs her hands down my arms and starts kissing my neck. My body lets her do it but then I think about it and take her hands off me.
“Not tonight. I have to study”
She doesn’t let up. Because usually I like playing hard to get. So she doesn’t know. And that’s okay. It’s my fault she doesn’t know.
“I can help you relax baby”
I roll my eyes at the pet name and say
“Natasha. Can we talk?”
She stands up straighter at my use of her full name and says
“Yeah. Sure”
I can tell she is a bit surprised at me but she nods her head nevertheless.
She sits down at the foot of my bed and I roll my chair over to her.
I sigh and look at the ground.
“I don’t know how to say this, but I can’t do this anymore Natasha”
She furrows her eyebrows and says
“You can’t do what?”
“This Natasha,”
I point at her and myself
“I hate myself for letting this drag on so long because I know you. I know you don’t want a relationship. But I lo- I like you Natasha. And I want you. All to myself. I want labels and I want to go to the pier together and eat popsicles and I want you to tell your friends and I want a future with you.”
I can tell I’m overwhelming her with this information but I keep going
“But you don’t want that. And that’s okay! I understand that some things aren’t meant to last. But I can’t keep hurting myself for some fun okay? I need to heal and move on. And you can go find another toy to play with and that’s okay. I just can’t be the one you go to anymore. It’s not what I want. And our ideals clearly do not align. I thought maybe I could do it and be able to handle all of this but I can’t.”
I tear up a bit
“I can’t be casual with you. I want feelings attached and I want you to myself but you don’t want me like that. So I need to cut it off.”
I finally finish my rant and I look down feeling embarrassed.
“I’m sorry”
I apologize and she shakes her head
“Don’t apologize. I get it.”
We sit there for a minute of awkward silence and she sighs and says
“I guess I should go then”
I nod my head and sniffle a bit. She lingers like she has something to say but she ultimately leaves and on her way out of my window she says
“I’ll see you at school I guess”
I nod my head.
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It’s been a week since I cut it off with Natasha and I look rough. My friends are worried about me but I tell them I’m fine.
Even some of my teachers have asked if I’m okay. Of course I lie to them. But it’s nice to know someone cares.
I have avoided Natasha at all costs. But I still find myself thinking about her.
Her arrow necklace. God I hate myself when I think of it. Because then I think of her. And then I start crying. Or I just shut down.
Yes. I may or may not have almost said I love you the night I cut it off with her. But I didn’t want her to have to hold all of my baggage. It’s not fair. She doesn’t like me like that. And she doesn’t deserve to feel guilty for what I feel.
My friend Emerald walks up to me during a free period and she says
“Hey did you see Natasha today?”
I shake my head and say
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
She shakes her head and says
“Well you’re gonna have to listen. She is the talk of the school right now so either you hear it from me or someone else.”
I roll my eyes and say
“What Em? Does she have a new toy hanging on her shoulder?”
Clearly I’m a little ticked off about having to hear about her.
But em shakes her head and I look at her and wait for her to continue
“She’s wearing your hoodie”
I look at her and say
“My hoodie? She doesn’t have any of my clothes, except for that bra that I’ll probably never get back”
She takes out her phone and shows me my favorite hoodie. It’s the pink one that I got from the thrift store. They all knew it was mine because it has em’s name on the sleeve. And a duck on the front.
I remember now. I forgot it at her house one time after she fucked me in her beach house. That was the day everyone found out and started talking about how I’m just a girl she fucked on her couch.
I cried so much that I forgot about it. And of course she just came over to make me forget about all the things people said.
I look at her and say
“Why would she ever wear that?”
She wiggles her eyebrows at me and says
“She obviously likes you y/n”
I roll my eyes and say
“She doesn’t like me Em. From the beginning everyone has known she doesn’t do crushes.”
Em shrugs her shoulders and says
“People can change.”
I roll my eyes and get a little frustrated and say
“Leave it Em. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She puts her hands up in surrender and leaves it at that.
The rest of the day goes by slowly. But I catch a glimpse of Natasha at the end of the day. She is wearing my hoodie. She looks good in it. But she shouldn’t be wearing that. I’m not hers. And she’s not mine.
I quickly leave so she doesn’t see me. Even though we definitely made eye contact. But it’s whatever.
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It’s about 8 pm now and I’m studying again. This final is about to make or break me so I can’t let myself loosen the reigns even though it’s only a midterm.
I have my headphones on and I’m listening to classical because it apparently helps people study. I’m honestly doing anything to help me.
A hand taps my shoulder and I jump up quickly but thankfully I don’t yell.
I turn around quickly and see Natasha standing there.
I immediately get frustrated and say
“What are you doing here?”
I take a second to actually look at her and she looks like shit. Honestly she is looking at me like a lost puppy. Like she hasn’t been in my room for six months. Her hair is a mess, shes still in my hoodie, and the bags under her eyes indicate that she hasn’t been sleeping well. I almost feel bad for her. Then I remember I can’t let my feelings get in the way. She says
“I um… I wanted to talk to you”
I sigh and say
“Well what is it? I’m listening?”
I feel bad for being so short with her but I can’t do it any other way or else I’ll break down.
She kind of stands there for a second and I sit down on my bed and pat it. I might as well be nice to her. She’s not a horrible person anyways.
She shakes her head slightly and keeps standing. I look at her and say
“You wanted to talk?”
She nods her head and says
“I don’t know how to say this but… I- I need you y/n”
I have never seen Natasha cry once. But she immediately breaks down in front of me
“I can’t do this without you. I need you so bad I just want all of you. I thought that if I convinced myself that it was for the better, that if I said I wanted this it would come true. But it’s not true I- I love you and I know you are probably over me by now and that’s okay I just need to tell you that I want you and only you. I know I’ve never done anything like this but I want to I want to change. I want to be good. For you. I want to take you on dates and tell everyone about you. And I don’t think I can do this without you because life is like a bad dream without you and I didn’t even realize what I had until I lost it!”
She starts crying. I start tearing up at her confession and I say
“Stop it. Stop it Natasha.”
It’s short and snippy because I’m about to cry.
“You can’t just say those things and pull at my heart just to get into my pants okay? I’m sorry that nobody wanted to get with you but I cannot just go crawling back to you if you just lie to me to get me back”
She looks at me and she shakes her head aggressively and says
“No. No I don’t. I don’t want to get into your pants I actually love you. I didn’t even know it because I’ve never felt love before y/n. Please you have to understand me I love you. I love you so much and I want a future with you. I was just scared but I’m not scared anymore I want you!”
She drops to her knees and tries to calm down a bit and says
“I understand if you don’t want me but I want you. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to introduce you to my friends and family. And- and I know my past doesn’t help anything. My reputation is probably your biggest fear but I can’t imagine my life without it. I’ve never been the sappy type but I’m telling the truth. If loving you kills me then I will die happy y/n”
I look at her from my bed and I see the genuine look in her eyes. I tear up again and the I get down from my bed and she looks down. It’s like she’s worshipping me. Like if she doesn’t she might lose me.
I envelope her in a hug and she starts crying into me. And I say
“Tell me that you love me and you won’t leave me.”
She looks at me with tears running down her face and her nose is sniffly and she says with such confdence
“I love you y/n. Nothing can change that. I won’t ever leave you. Not even if I could. I want to be yours”
I smile at her as she waits for me to answer and I grab her head and lean into her. I kiss her.
This kiss is different than any other kiss I’ve ever shared with her. It’s soft and tender. And full of love. I don’t even care that her tears and boogers are getting on me.
I don’t care. I just love her. I pull away and giggle and she kind of sits in criss cross. And I say
“Natasha. I love you too. I’ve loved you for a while now. I was just scared to say it.”
She sends me a dopey smile. I’ve never seen her smile at me like that. I like it. So I boop her nose and say
“Cute.”
She scrunches up her nose and says
“I’m everything but cute right now.”
I shake my head and say
“You’re always cute.”
I kiss her again after she wipes her face off and it’s sweet. I pull her into my lap and she says
“I don’t like this.”
Normally I guess she would be more comfortable with me on her lap. But I don’t care.
“I guess you’re just gonna have to suck it up.”
We sit on my floor for a bit and I say
“Oh shit! It’s late.”
I check the time and say
“It’s nine o’clock already! You have to get home baby”
She stops at the nickname and says
“Wait. So… are we?”
I giggle and say
“After all of that? There’s no way we’re not dating. So yes. I’m gonna call you baby. But you need to go home and I need sleep”
She smiles and says
“Can I have a hug before I go?”
I nod my head and pull her in for a long hug.
I kiss her head and then her nose and then her lips and say
“I love you. Now go. I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow?”
She usually walks to school and I drive but I want to pick her up now. She nods her head and I stop her before she leaves my window and I say
“And I want my hoodie back.”
She laughs softly and says
“No way. It’s mine now.”
Then I pull her back in to me and distract her with a kiss. I say
“Well then. I guess this is mine now”
I swiftly pull the hoodie she has on right now off of her and she pouts and says
“Aw man. That’s a good hoodie.”
I smile and say
“Only the best for me right?”
She smiles finally and nods her head and I say
“Text me when you get home okay?”
She nods her head and says
“Yes ma’am”
I giggle and shake my head. I watch as she walks off into the night and I hop onto my bed and cuddle my stuffed animal with a bright smile on my face.
All of that heartache must have been worth it.
She was right. If loving her kills me, then I would die happy.
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A/N: I actually kind of like how this one turned out. I know I pulled from the songs a lot but at least it was built into the words and not like a normal songfic lol. Because I’ve heard that many people do not like songfics :)
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the party | alexia putellas x reader
songfic based off of the song the party & the after party by the weeknd
warnings: cunnilingus, smut, minors dni 18+
With your Louis V. bag, tats on your arms
High heel shoes, make you six feet tall
Everybody wants you, you can have them all
It would be a crime to not look at her. Standing tall, her Louis Vuitton bag slung over her shoulder, her skimpy black dress that left nothing to the imagination, her tattoos that peaked over her shoulders and down her arms, her red backed Louboutin heels that made her look so irresistible and so fucking tall, accentuating her long legs and every single muscles and vein that ran along them. Your eyes were drawn to her from the other side of the room, completely pinned to the figure standing in front of you. She was insatiable, everybody in the room wanted her and yet her eyes were caught on your own, her long legs slowly making their way towards you and your seat at the bar.
In a club full of people, music and noise she silenced it all, made you feel like the both of you were the only people in the world, it was addictive, like a party drug. You almost choked on your sip of your martini as she approached you, and took a seat beside you on one of the barstools, ordering a drink from the bartender before addressing you.
“It’s rude to stare, tesoro.”
You blinked, your eyes darting to the glass in your hands.
“Lo siento.” I’m sorry
There was something about this woman that made you feel like you were on fire, and she was the only thing that could extinguish you.
“Don’t apologise, I don’t mind, what’s a girl like you doing in here anyways?”
The implication strung in her voice made you feel so shy, so small in a way you could never explain.
“Just looking for some fun I guess, how about you?”
You finally found the confidence to glance back up at her eyes, it was a rewarding sight, her deep hazel eyes locked onto your body, searching you up and down like you were a monet painting.
“Looking to have some fun on my night off.”
Her eyes were tantalising, dangerously dark and sinful, the hazel circling around her pupil into a tie dye mix of dark and light browns.
“How’s that going?”
It was a stupid question, but you felt like you were under a microscope, like a diamond under immense pressure and it was stressing you out, making you second guess everything. The mystery woman just seemed amused though.
“Could be going better, I’ve got a drink though, that’s one way to start it.”
She pulled her glass of what appeared to be whiskey on the rocks up, and you met her glass, clinking them together, a small smile gracing your lips.
“What’s your name sweetheart?”
The term of endearment sent shocks down your spine, little jolts of shivers that you didn’t even attempt to put a stop to.
“Y/n Y/l/n, how about you?”
Her eyes pierced your own from their position sitting just above your martini glass, peering over the rim at her figure, slowly taking in her figure that didn’t leave much of her body to your imagination, so much skin on show.
“Not important.”
Her voice was dismissive, and if you really cared you would push it, but you simply didn’t, so you just nodded your head.
“Y/n, that’s very pretty, suits the pretty face.”
You couldn’t help but blush a little bit at the flattery, lifting your martini glass to cover your mouth and the bright smile that you knew was spreading across your facial features.
“You’re a charmer, c’mon, give me a name to put to the face.”
She smirked at you, devilishly, like there was so much intention behind her eyes and mouth, intentions that you couldn’t even attempt to try and unearth.
“I think beautiful things should be appreciated, if you're really desperate you can call me Ale.”
You couldn’t help but feel the butterflies begin to crowd in your stomach, the heat rising up your neck and to your face at the outward compliments from your companion.
“You're very forward, most girls sitting at a bar would be a little bit intimidated.”
The woman’s eyes stayed pinned to your own, neither of you breaking the eye contact that made you feel so vulnerable and naked, like you were under a microscope in front of her.
“You’re not most girls though, are you?”
You bit your lip, her intentions were so clear and so blurred at the same time.
“You didn’t come and sit with me because I look like most girls.”
The woman snorted, setting her empty glass down on the bar.
“I’m going to the bathroom, the door with number 3 above it.”
Girl, I got your bag, I got it all
Hold your drink, baby, don't you fall
Be there in a minute, baby, just one call
You don't gotta ask me
Girl, pick up them shoes, I'll race your ass up all them stairs
She picked up her bag, her heels clicking under the floor beneath her as she strutted towards the stairs at the end of the bar, her hands reaching down to pull her frighteningly big heels so she could climb the stairs. You watched her ass and thighs move, it almost felt like she was putting a show on for you as she slowly progressed up the stairs.
You took a final swig from your glass, holding onto it and gripping down on the glass as you watched her finally ascend the stairs and out of your sight. You waited a minute or so, clutching onto your glass before setting it down and picking up your own belongings and making your way towards the stairs.
You didn’t take your time like the mystery woman, you climbed the staircase like it was a mountain you had to make it to the top of, completely relieved when you finally got to the top. It was a simple corridor in front of you, with numbered bathrooms, one to ten. You made your way down the hallway slowly, your eyes pinned to every door you passed until you made it to door number three. You felt like you were in a game show, or escape room, looking at the different doors and almost expecting something to pop out of one of them.
The surprise never came, so you reached for the door knob cautiously, testing the handle to see whether or not it was locked and quickly learning it was not. You took a deep breath, before twisting the door open and quickly shutting it behind you as you walked into the stall, making sure to lock the door behind you.
Before you even began to take in your surroundings the woman had pounced on you, her lips attaching to your own allowing you to taste the whiskey and spearmint on her tongue. It was a welcome flavour, overloading your taste buds which went into shock from the sudden contact and lust that was invading your system.
“Esta Bien?” Is this okay?
You nodded into her mouth, her tongue brushing against the roof of your mouth and pushing against the skin and tissue, exploring your mouth and lips with vigour.
“Si.” yes
The woman smirked into your mouth, continuing her bruising attack on your lips, but her hands falling to your hips and the exposed skin in between where your jeans separated from your cropped corset top. It was more like a bra, the only difference was the small chunk of material below the bra line. Her hands danced up and down your sides and you couldn’t help the little moan that left your lips as her hands brushed over the tops of your breasts and nipples.
“So desperate already, I could tell just how needy you were in that bar, desperate for some attention hm?”
You moaned openly into the woman’s mouth, your hips grinding upwards searching for some kind of contact or relief. The woman’s hand made its way to your waist though, pushing you back against the bathroom door.
“No, tomas lo que obtienes.” No, you take what you get
Her hand stayed pinned to your waist, her lips pressing against your own sinfully, moving rhythmically and nipping at your bottom lip as her teeth caught it in hers.
“Ale, please, need more.”
She was a woman that you knew absolutely nothing about, and normally that would make you uncomfortable, but for some reason it only spurred your sexual desire on, it was treacherous how horny your felt, your stomach and pussy clenching in tow as this woman’s lips moved down to your jawline, sucking on the skin.
“Is your pussy dripping for me, is it soaking through your panties?”
You nodded quickly against the older woman’s mouth, your head trapped by the grip that her lips and mouth had on your neck and chin.
You moaned openly when she dropped to her knees. Normally you’d be worried about the cleanliness of a club bathroom floor, but your whole brain was clouded with sex and that was enough for any kind of worry to leave you brain.
I understand, your body wants it
I know your thoughts, of you ‘bout it, ‘bout it
You’re a big girl, and it’s your world
And I’ma let you do it how you wanna
Girl, now ride wit it, ride wit it
I know you know, I know you wanna (ride) wit it
Don’t be shy wit it, I’ll supply wit it
I got you, girl, oh, I got it girl
You nodded at the woman when she looked up at you with an eyebrow cocked as her fingers looped into the belt of your jeans, silently asking for permission. When you nodded at her quickly she smirked, reaching for the clasp and unbelting it insanely quickly and letting it fall to the floor. Next her hands found the zipper of your jeans, tugging it down quickly and then popping the button before tugging the jeans down to join your belt. You stepped out of them and groaned a little bit as your eyes came into contact with the growing wet spot on the front of your panties, your arousal beginning to stick to the insides of your thighs.
“Oh bebita, is this all for me?”
You nodded your head once again, your head and back arching against the door as Ale’s fingers scooped underneath the elastic band of the thong you were wearing, snapping it twice against your hips, eliciting a positively filthy guttural moan that ranged from your core to your lips.
“God your so desperate, you going to ride my face, going to get off like a horny bitch in the heat and rut yourself against my face?”
It was pure filth falling from the older woman's lips as she tugged your panties down your thighs and onto the floor, her eyes latching onto your glistening lips that were directly in front of your face.
The feeling of her tongue darting out to meet your clit was ecstasy, pure pleasure as she dove into your folds, her tongue exploring the open sex right in front of her.
It was as her tongue found your open hole that you angled your hips directly above Ale, humping her face and beginning to grind your hips up and down her mouth and nose.
You half expected her to stop you, her dom persona seemingly controlling your every move, but she didn’t, so you continued to move your hips against her face, her tongue pushing in and out of your whole and your clit rubbing down hard and fast against her nose. The angle that it have you was magnificent and something that you’d never quite experienced. You pulled up for a second, out of fear that you were strangling the woman below you with your thighs, but you were quickly pulled down, your clit brushing down on the tip of her nose, it was fantastic and had you becoming a moaning mess and the coil in your stomach was so close to snapping, and then she refracted.
Her mouth moved from your lips and down to your thighs, sucking and biting down on the soft and milky skin, leaving bright purple marks as a reminder of exactly what she was doing to you. It was equally pleasurable, but not in the way you needed, not in the way you yearned.
“Ale, fuck, please, so close, please just fucking use my pussy, it’s all yours.”
She was so patient with your skin, gently sucking the marks in, your begging didn’t go unnoticed by her though, and once she finished her fourth love bite she nudged her tongue back to your opening, thrusting her flat pad in and out of your hole, generating completely sinful noises from your mouth. Your hands found Ale’s hair, fisting it in between your fingers and in your palms, tugging her up to meet your core and deepen her tongue’s thrusts.
You would have told her you were teetering on the edge, but you were too incoherent due to the amount of pleasure coursing through your body. It only took a few deep thrusts of her tongue and then a brush of your puffy clit against her nose for you to come undone, your whole body tightening and freezing against her warm mouth as you began to gush, your body grinding and your pussy gushing out and squirting all over her face as you spasmed on her lips.
Her hands pulled your thighs over her shoulders, stopping your legs from collapsing out from under you and leaving you to collapse on the floor. She guided you through your aftershocks with gentle kitten licks, sucking up any of the extra liquids that your pleasure cloud had produced.
Only when you’d come down from your high and you’d moved your legs off of her shoulders was when she moved off of her knees, revealing an absolutely soaked face, neck and top of her dress. You couldn’t help but snort a little bit at the appearance of her, a once composed and slightly terrifying woman now covered in your orgasm.
She stood up and before she could even try to say anything your lips were attached to her face, your tongue gently licking at your taste on her skin.
“That was fucking amazing.”
You moved your lips up to her nose and across her cheeks, lapping at any of the left over arousal on her delicate and clear skin.
“You didn’t tell me you were a squirter baby girl, look at my dress, all ruined in your slutty juices.”
You chuckled, a deep chuckle from your chest as you took in Ale, in all of her glory, completely fucked out and you hadn’t even touched her.
We can play all night
It just takes one night
To let me fuckin’ prove
This feelin’ I would give to you
“How about I make it up to you then?”
Your grin spread all the way up your cheeks, revealing your pearly whites to the woman.
“How about I take you back to mine and you can show me exactly how good you can be?”
Your head told you that it was a bad idea to go home with a woman that you’d only met a few minutes ago, but then the thought of going all nigh with this woman, who clearly knew what she was doing ran through your mind.
You began to take her in truly and it was then that something clicked in your brain, that you knew this woman, or you knew her face, and that was when all the puzzle pieces fell into place.
“Fuck me, your Alexia Putellas.”
The woman just smirked, her tongue dangling out between her teeth as she moved towards rhe sink, cleaning herself up a little bit but maintaining eye contact with you the whole time through the mirror.
“I will later, baby, don’t you worry, and it took you a little bit to figure that one out, now, my house? I promise I’ll give you everything you want, baby, all you have to do is ask.”
Ringtone on silent
And if she stops, then I might get violent
No call is worth stoppin’
So, momma, please, stop callin’
You reached down for you bag, and then your phone, recognising a string of texts from your roommate, worried about where you were and normally you would reply, but instead you turned your phone off, shoving it down into the bottom of your handbag and turning back to the Catalan woman, who was now standing directly in front of you, her arm stretched out as an offering.
If you had your wits about you, and not singularly sex on your mind you would have left her arm, left the renowned soccer player hanging, but then again, you definitely didn’t have your wits about you with your post orgasm brain.
So you took her arm, smiling brightly.
“Your house?”
Alexia smirked and nodded, leading you out of the bathroom and back downstairs and out of the club, a smile on both of your faces and the smell of sex radiating from both of you.
#daddy alexia putellas#alexia putellas smuttt#alexia putellas is mom#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas#woso#woso community#marry me rn#wlw smut#woso smut#shameless smut#i love smut#smut
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hot & heavy - pt. 1/2
...in which: hazel hosts a party for the fight club in her basement, but your drunk boyfriend won't leave you alone.
...pairing: hazel callahan x fem!reader
...warnings: portrayal of a toxic relationship (not hazel dw), underage drinking, cursing + the f slur
...author's note: this is a songfic inspired by hot & heavy and christine by my queen lucy dacus!!! i actually rlly don't like how this one's going so far but im a completionist, so you WILL get a part 2 B)
Being here makes you feel hot in the face. Maybe it’s the drink in your hand- a dizzyingly saccharine yet bitter and metallic concoction. Sylvie mixed it up for you, and you’ve been taking cautiously minuscule sips since you received it. Maybe it’s the multitude of warm bodies in the same space as you- all the girls from fight club are here, laughing and dancing and chatting, managing to throw a rager with just their small group.
Or maybe it’s because as you sit on a couch in Hazel Callahan’s luxurious basement, your jock boyfriend happens to be drunk and alone that night, blowing up your DMs. That was your first mistake- telling him you were going to the fight club’s party tonight.
During the months you’ve been dating this guy, you’ve learned that sloppy typing is a dead giveaway of how sober he is. This fact manifests itself as he sends you: “y/n i thougt u werent gonna see those lesbins anymor” and “come over. i bet my place hasgot better drinks.” You glance at Sylvie’s alcoholic potion and grimace. Maybe he’s right about that, actually.
Hazel, tearing away from a conversation with Annie, Josie, and PJ drops herself next to you on the couch. She cranes her neck to peek at your phone. “What a meathead, huh?” she says, projecting her voice just enough over the pulsing music. Her arms are extended across the top of the couch, and her round cobalt eyes squint slightly as she smiles. When you meet her intense eye contact, you turn off your phone quickly and let it fall to your lap. “He’s drunk again,” you explain sheepishly, though you’re certain she already knows, “he’s a terrible drunk, especially when he's alone.”
The buzz from your phone signals another text from him, and you apprehensively read the notification. “cant bileve yr with them rn and ditching me for soem fagots”
“Or maybe he’s just a terrible person.” she muses with conviction. You watch as Hazel habitually twirls the silver rings on her fingers. For someone who’s allegedly “a nobody,” she sure has a way of distracting you. Gnawing on the inside of your bottom lip, you inhale and speak again, “Is it bad that I’m starting to agree?”
Hazel raises an eyebrow. “...You’re just now noticing?”
“I- I mean-” you stammer, then sigh, slumping into the couch. The side of her leg presses a little closer to yours, and your head rolls on the cushions to look at her again. Those damn blue eyes won’t leave you alone. “Not really. To be honest, I don’t know if I ever really… liked him…” you swallow. Those words have never left your lips before. “...I think I was just lonely. And he was so insistent.” Your confession is so quiet against the music you aren’t sure Hazel even heard, but she must have the ears of a bat, because she responds,
“He doesn’t deserve you.”
Before you can react to that, the consequences of your own persuasibility come back to hit you as hard as a deeply troubled girl in the fight club.
“Oh fuck,” your posture jolts back to tense verticality, stomach squirming uncomfortably as you try to force the explanation out. “Shitshitshit… he’s driving over here…” you pant.
“Hey, what?” Hazel turns her whole body to face you on the couch. “How does he have my address?” she asks, dumbfounded. You stand up, a strangled sound escaping your throat. Your free hand pushes itself into your hair and balls into a fist. “I’m so fucking stupid, I gave him my location.”
“Y/n, slow down-” Hazel stands up and grabs your wrist. This makes you pause, your eyes frantic and chest heaving like a captured animal. Her eyebrows are upturned with worry. She shakes her head slowly. “...what is he doing to you?”
That’s a loaded question and there’s no time to answer, because now your boyfriend is outside the house and you’re sprinting upstairs, Hazel trailing you.
#lucy dacus#home video lucy dacus#wlw yearning#wlw#sapphic#lesbian#hazel callahan#hazel callahan x reader#bottoms 2023#songfic#fic#fic writing#fanfiction#writers on tumblr#writeblr#ao3#wlw fanfic#fanfic#writing blog
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Romance prompts!
60 ideas for writers and artists!
Either choose your own prompt, or ask your followers to choose for you by sending you a character or ship and the number or emoji. Also, let people know if you welcome combos (combining two prompts into a single story or art piece)!
😍 - At first sight
🥰 - All fluff, all the time
🤩 - Starstruck
😳 - That came out wrong
😢 - You can cry on my shoulder
🤒 - In sickness and in health
🪦 - Till death do us part
🐌 - Taking it slow
🦚 - Trying too hard
🚦 - Mixed signals
👽 - (Not) too different
💋 - First kisses
👂 - A familiar voice
🔒 - Lockdown (Happy to be stuck with you)
💅 - Getting all dolled up
👑 - You treat me like royalty
💍- Marry me?
🍼 - And baby makes three
🐈 - And kitty makes three
🐕 - And puppy makes three
💐- The perfect bouquet
🔥- Cozy by the fire
☂️ - You can share my umbrella
🍪 - Baking together
☕️ - Join me for coffee?
🥂 - A toast to us
🍷 - A little tipsy
🍽️ - Dinner date
🍦 - Ice cream date
🛒 - Shopping date
🎤 - Karaoke date
🛶 - Boating date
🛼 - Roller skating date
🚙 - Road trips and romance don't always mix
🩼 - Stay off of that leg, I'll take care of everything!
✈️ - Flying home to you
🛟 - You saved me
⛺️ - First time camping together
🏠 - The house that love built
📺 - ...And chill
☎️ - Waiting by the phone
💬 - Feel like chatting?
⏰ - Waking up beside you
💸 - We may not have money, but we have each other
⚖️ - Equals in every way
⚔️ - The art of love is the art of the fight
🔑 - I'll give you my key
🛁 - Join me for a shower?
🛏️ - Between the sheets
🎁 - A little gift to show how much I love you
💌 - Our old love letters
💔 - Heartbreaking
❤️🩹 - Heart-mending
📖 - A romance for the books
💤 - Dream a little dream of me
👋 - If you love someone, let them go
💃 - Play something we can dance to
🌶️ - Hot stuff
🎂 - Happy Birthday, baby
🎵 - Every old songfic is new again
#writing#prompts#romance prompts#writing prompts#prompt list#shipping#shipping prompts#ask game#writeblr
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Blue is the eye that looks after thee
Songfic to Blue is the Eye by Ye Vagabonds
AU where 15x20 never happened - gen slash
They returned to the bunker after the whole ordeal with Chuck, after saying goodbye to Jack.
Dean felt his bad knee creak, the tiredness nestling deep in his bones as he opened the door of the Impala with a deep sigh.
Finally, some rest.
His eyes wandered towards Sam, who looked like death warmed over. The face his brother pulled at him would indicate he didn’t look hot either.
“Bed?”, the younger Winchester asked.
Dean couldn’t bring himself to speak, so he just nodded.
While traversing the clean hallways of their bunker, something heavy started to coil deep within Dean’s stomach. He notices a small scratch in the wall on the way to the bunker, which made his throat restrict with the emotions he was still trying to push back down.
The faraway memory of the scraping of metal on stone reverbed in his head, the slow footsteps of imminent danger following close.
He traced the little cracks in the tiles, his heart heavy when Cas’ last words echoed in his head.
A lump was forming in his throat, his eyes watery.
If only I could have said something back, Cas. I’m sorry.
Dean focused on his breathing, trying to prevent a full on breakdown. He felt like someone had tied lead to his limbs, making it hard to turn and walk to his room, the brown boots heavy like they’ve never been, the lights overhead glaringly blinding like the sun on a warm summer’s day.
Once the door closed behind him, he crumpled, grief, loss and sorrow washing over him like the wild sea during a storm.
He was drowning, gasping for air, clawing at the concrete floor under his palms, curled up into himself. The pitter patter of tears mixed in with the painful gasps the only sounds in the room, but Dean couldn’t hear it. He only heard the gravelly voice of Cas repeating his speech, the slimy warble of the Empty taking him away, leaving Dean with whatever this is.
You could’ve had me, Cas. If only for a moment.
He crawled towards the bed, lifting himself up into the memory foam.
After kicking his shoes up, he just curled up there, his tears leaving salty cold lines over his cheeks.
He had only one wish, now. To see that stupid tan trench coat again.
Dean had exhausted himself and fell into a restless sleep.
He was standing on a cliff, looking into the unknown sea down below.
The sky was dark, stormy; the wind whipping around him.
The hunter did not recognise the landscape, maybe from one of Cas’ nature documentaries.
The land would be green and lush under a different sky, the moss under his feet pillowy and soft looking, the cliffs a sharp contrast with their pointed edges.
He heard a flapping of wings so familiar it made his heart ache.
“We’re at Downpatrick Head, in Ireland. Or Ceann Dhún Pádraig, in Irish.”
Dean turned his head as Jack spoke, factual and calm, his head slightly tilted sideways.
He didn’t speak, just kept looking at the new God.
“I figured this would represent how you feel best.”
The older man looked down at the restless blue of the sea, waves crashing loudly.
The white swirls where the crests of the waves were thrown against the rock did remind him of himself.
“I don’t…”, he scraped his throat, “I don’t know how to…”
It wasn’t the wind or the salt that made his eyes water. Dean took small, shallow breaths to try and keep the emotions at bay.
“I did say I was going to be hands off, Dean.”
The hunter’s shoulders sagged.
“I know.”, the lump in his throat warbled his voice, like he’d been swallowing the salty water down below.
He missed Jack’s little smile and sad eyes, staring off into the horizon instead.
The wind calmed down a little, and the waves stopped crashing as violently.
A tiny ray of sunlight broke through, enveloping both figures on the cliff in warmth and light.
“You don’t have to be alone, Dean. There is someone who wants to see you, now. Consider it an early birthday present.”
Dean frowned but before he could ask more questions, he woke up, slowly.
His back was cramping from the tight C-shape he had taken on while sleeping, his cheeks still uncomfortably warm from crying.
He sat up, wiping his face, as he heard the creak of wood in the corner.
The hunter opened his eyes and gasped.
A shock of blue met red rimmed green eyes.
“Hello Dean.”
#birthday party for dean 2025#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#fanfic#not a birthday present thing per se but sure look its what I wanted to write#supernatural#needs a rewrite but that's for later today
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Helloooooo can I request a song fic with yeonjun x male reader with Taylor swift's song "enchanted"? It gives me 'they broke up predebut but years later after meeting decided to try again' vibes LMFAOOO I VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR WORK AND OMFG I SAW THE LISTS OF YOUR UPCOMING WORKS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AUTHOR LOVE YOUUU
pairing: yeonjun x male!reader (no pronouns used) genre: angstish to fluff word count: 504
includes: exes to lovers, not exactly a songfic but based on the bridge of enchanted by taylor swift, the reunion part is kinda awkward lol, they both cry
a/n: thank you for requesting !! i hope you like it :)) and i love you too <33 based on this prompt list from @novelbear
“y/n?” yeonjun whispers in disbelief. turning around to face him, you freeze at the sight of the man before you. you blink once. twice. three times. he tenses as he watches the recognition set in.
you look different than he remembers. you’ve grown into your features since the last time he first saw you. you were only a nervous high schooler then - anxiously fidgeting with your fingers with each step you took, face littered with acne, and voice cracking with nearly every syllable that left your lips.
a soft smile pulls at the corners of your lips after a few seconds, much to yeonjun’s shock. the tension in your shoulders relaxes slightly. “yeonjun?”
“it’s good to see you again,” he finally murmurs.
you nod, if not a little stiffly. “you too.”
“are you… seeing anyone?”
you bite your bottom lip, eyes flickering down towards the ground before you meet his gaze once again. “no. not since…”
since me, yeonjun thinks. not since i left.
guilt racks through him at your admission. he uncomfortably shifts underneath your gaze, readjusting the position of his hands in his pockets. “yeah, uh… me neither.”
you awkwardly purse your lips before taking a small step backwards. “maybe i should go,” you whisper, more to yourself than him.
“y/n, wait,” yeonjun catches your wrist in his hand before he can stop himself. he lets go almost immediately, though neither of you attempt to make any other movements. “the worst thing that i’ve ever done was leave you that night,” he whispers. tears sting at the corners of his eyes. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”
yeonjun’s hands tremble as he cups your face between his hands. you let yourself relax into his touch, coiling yourself even closer to his skin. despite the time that’s passed, he still knows how to make you shiver. how to calm you down. how to make you feel loved.
squeezing your eyes shut, you let instinct take over. your grip is unrelenting around yeonjun’s shoulders, tightly pressing your bodies together. your head still fits into the crook of his neck like it used to. his hands feel warm when they wrap around your waist, sending familiar shivers down your spine. your tears mix together; hearts beating in sync, replicating a pattern you haven’t felt in years but still remember.
“i never stopped loving you,” you choke out. tears roll down your cheeks in waves.
“i love you too,” yeonjun sniffles. you can barely make out his silhouette in front of you through your blurry vision. he reaches up to rest a hand against your face, gently pressing your foreheads together. “can you give me another chance?”
pain stings in your chest. it rattles your lungs each time you breathe. despite your better judgement, a selfish part of you wants to cling to yeonjun. despite your better judgement, you pull him even closer. despite your better judgement, you don’t let go. “please don’t make me regret this.”
“you won’t,” he whispers. “i promise you won’t.”
#txt soft hours#txt soft thoughts#txt fluff#txt x reader#txt x male reader#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun x male reader#yeonjun soft hours#yeonjun soft thoughts#txt angst#yeonjun angst#yeonjun imagine#yeonjun one shot#yeonjun drabble#yeonjun scneario#yeonjun x you#yeonjun x y/n#txt drabble#txt imagine#txt one shot#txt scenario#txt x you#txt x y/n#txt yeonjun#txt fanfic#male reader#gn reader#fem reader#x male reader
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My Writing Masterpost:
Support my Ao3!
Emoji Guide:
🤍-Fluff/Wholesome
🩵-Romance
💙-Silly/Crackhead Energy
🖤-Angst/Violent
🩶-Spicy
🤍🩵💙Uncontrolled Chaos
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: Shadow uses chaos control with the fake chaos emerald. And now things are a bit- well.. chaotic! Especially with a certain blue hedgehog..
Type: Series (Still in Progress)
UC Series Masterpost!
🤍🖤Something I’m Made For (Optional Prequel)
🖤The 30th (Optional Prequel)
🤍🩵💙Courtship
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow (Movie Universe)
Summary: Sonic just wants Shadow to know he’s doesn’t have to be alone.. misunderstandings ensue.
Type: Mini-Series (Complete)
Courtship Series Masterpost!
🤍💙Home Alone
🤍🩵'Green' Justice
🤍🩵💙🖤A Courtship Christmas
🖤I Found You
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: What if Shadow doesn’t get to watch Sonic grow old..?
Type: Oneshot
TW: death, grief
🖤🤍Promises
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: Post Sonic X Shadow Generations; Classic Sonic gives the best hugs.
Type: Oneshot
TW: depression
🖤🤍Crushed Lavender
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: Post Sonic Frontiers; Shadow isn’t a pessimist, he’s a realist. And realistically? Sonic is absolutely not okay.
Type: Oneshot
TW: depression, sui ideation, self destruction
🤍🩵💙Die With A Smile
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: Shadow loses a bet with Rouge and has to attend Amy’s Karaoke Spectacular. Oh! And he has to sing at least one song.
Type: Oneshot/Songfic
🤍🩵💙🩶Juno
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: Sonic attends a Sabrina Carpenter concert with friends on Amy's birthday.. and a few surprise guests.
Type: Mini-Series/Songfic
🤍💙🩶Ever Tried This One?
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow
Summary: Shadow proves to Sonic he can be feminine.
Type: Crack Songfic
🖤“There’s Nothing To Talk About.”
Pairing: Sonic X Shadow (Movie Universe)
Summary: He was left disappointed the second those handcuffs were pulled out. Communication wouldn’t be an option, that was clear no matter what the obnoxious blue hedgehog said. He should’ve known better. Should’ve expected as much from those associated with GUN. Still, he was disappointed. And confused as to why he was disappointed. A feeling of betrayal seeping into his core and leaving him feeling even more lost than he already was.
Type: Mini-Oneshot
#my writing#writing masterpost#masterpost#wtf writing#fanfiction#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#Sonadow#sonic x shadow generations#sonadowtober#uc series#movie sonic#sonic movie#sonic wachowski
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ᴜᴘᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ: ᴀ ʟɪꜱᴛ
𐦍༘⋆ ݁A/n: Sooo... I've been in a brainstorming mood (ever since I graduated high school and had more time to think), and I have a few upcoming fics that I'm thinking about doing. I've also REALLY been thirsting over Toji like yes that is my man!! I will indeed be standing beside him. Anyway!! Here's some of my ideas in order of which one's I'm most likely to write.
Heartbreaker songfic!: one of my personal favorite Mariah Carey songs, it's such a sweet and fun bubblegum (with a mix of R&B) song to listen to! Basically in this songfic, the reader's just playing a bunch of characters and stringing them along LMAO. I felt like turning the tables on the men & making them pine instead.
Blow songfic: basically just headcanons on how the men give head. Whether it be pussy-eating, dick-sucking or ass-eating, these men are down for anything, and this details how they get down (in my opinion).
Meeting the Zen'in Clan: a Toji-centered fic, this details meeting the Zen'in Clan and how (poorly) it turns out. Basically, Toji has a grandmother who tried to care for him during his time with the clan, and she's fallen ill, so he wants to see her one last time at a banquet. Naoya, the little shit he is, somehow gathered details about reader and outs her as a trans woman in front of everyone at the table. You can guess how it goes from there!
Marriage Eyes: headcanon + mini-fic on how the guys look at you when they know they wanna lock you in.
Touch My Body songfic: a forbidden romance featuring Toji, Satoru & Nanami!
Too Much Sex: the guys love you(r holes), but it's beginning to be a little too much for you. How would they react when you instate a sex ban on them?
Beautiful Liar songfic: you're on a date with a guy, and it all goes to shit when you run into the girl they're seeing on the side. Two-timing is not your thing, so you decide to ditch him with the most attractive man you see at the bar!
Stay The Night songfic: short little drabble where you don't wanna see your man go, so you opt to have a sleepover on the spot.
The Boy Is Mine songfic: how would the guys react when the girl they've been seeing ultimately ends up being the only girl who's not murdered?
Baddest Chick Wearing Their Chain: the guys wonder how you'd look wearing their initials/name around your neck.
Honey songfic: what's one way to show your partner some love? By dripping it all over 'em, of course! (if you catch my drift)
Fashion Week: the guys start dating a model, and they get a firsthand look at the fashion biz. He wonders if the stereotype about models being catty holds up...
Gym Pics: short and sweet, self-explanatory.
Fighting a Cat?!: cats can be a pain in the ass if they don't like you, so when they finally get invited over to their girlfriends' house, the guys are at a loss when their sweet angel's sweet angel isn't exactly a sweet angel to them in private.
Hey, Neighbor!: Wisteria Lane (Desperate Housewives ref. hehe) wasn't a place where they expected to meet fine young women, but the guys could at least hope, right? So when the answer to their prayers moves in down the street, they're more than eager to go after what they've been waiting for.
Up Out My Face songfic: they know they've messed up badly, and they also know that their girlfriends have suitors lined up just waiting to take their places. So, how are they gonna go about getting them back before it's too late?
ᡣ𐭩 If you couldn't tell, I really like listening to music. Some of these might take a while (like the Zen'in Clan fic), so bear with me (ó﹏ò。) but trust, I'll get to each of these eventually!! I also might update 'em as time goes on, just to make sure that the writing's all cohesive and makes sense.
© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 6/8/2024
#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#nanami smut#toji fushiguro#toji smut#jjk toji#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji#gojo satoru#gojo#gojo satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo smut#yami sukehiro#yami sukehiro x reader#tengen uzui x reader#tengen uzui#tengen x reader
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20cm (twenty centimeters)
jock!keita x fem!reader
genre: fluff! (slightly suggestive at the end and a little sprinkle of angst)
wc: 15k
highschool au, keita is in rugby, (one sided) enemies to lovers, reader is kinda a bitch (she gets better!), there’s plot holes, it’s just very silly, keitas a lil slow, reader is super tall, slow burn if you squint, even though it’s a songfic the lyrics are unrelated, happy ending!, no pt 2 probably
synopsis: keita would describe himself as a down-to-earth guy. he stands around 165, and has overgrown darkish brown hair he's been wanting to cut since may. he enjoys his rugby teammates and coffee. he likes cooking and cats, and he dislikes reading and homework. new entry on his dislikes: you.
a/n: it’s FINALLY out 🫶🫶 so much love went into this and there’s so many ideas that got scrapped but i hope it’s good anyways!
"did you hear..?"
"didn't someone say..?"
"i was told.."
keita had always disliked rumors and found them a waste of time. he had himself to worry about, not a student he had only vaguely heard the name of prior.
"did you hear someone was moving?"
"didn't someone say shes like 6'5?"
"i was told she was friends with half the students here already!"
these whispers were no different. who cares if there was an incoming student? sure, she might be tall. but is that enough to occupy someone's time? it seemed like all his friends were consumed by this newfound knowledge, constantly looking around the hallways for an unusual skyscraper. although the boy felt out of touch with the constant buzzing news, once he hears it keita always ends up unsatisfied.
"c'mon, you act like she's a celebrity" he rolled his eyes, slamming his locker shut before turning to beomgyu. he was met with a shrug, trailing behind his friend as they strolled through the halls. "i'm just happy theres finally someone taller than hanbin." keita nodded along. the constant knocking on the door frames by the basketball boys was always irritating. no matter how tall you are, that ritual is reserved for annoying 13-year-old boys. "maybe sungchan will finally get humbled." he mumbled to himself. The two captains were always grouped as a unit, along with the football (soccer) and hockey captains, much to keitas dismay. almost exclusively hanging out with them proved to be quite chaotic, where keita was left scolding them for their outbursts.
he hadn't noticed how deep in thought he was until he crashed into beomgyus shoulder, stumbling back a bit. "hey! why'd you suddenly stop-" keita hadn't gotten the chance to finish his thought before he looked up, joining his friend in his frozen state.
there, walking into the class next to theirs, was an unfamiliar face. actually, scratch that. they didn't even get to see her face. her head was obscured by sheer *leg*. nevermind humbling the basketball boys.. beomgyu visibly gulped in surprise.
"well. there's the new student I guess.." keita scratched his head, unsure of what to say. "yeah." was all beomgyu responded, walking inside their next period without another word.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
it wasnt long before the class came to an end, and all the students piled out one after another like a pack of animals. keita quickly maneuvered past them, making it to his locker perfectly in time to make it to his next class. only one problem. well actually two.
a pair of legs blocked his path. keita had the top locker, and the one on the bottom remained unoccupied for as long as he could remember, so hes never had issues getting to his until now. he had assumed whoever was there must've gotten mixed up, since theres no *way* someone would purposely block him.
as his eyes trailed to see who they belong to, his eyebrows quickly furrowed in discontent. "my lockers right there" he calmly stated, pointing to the area behind you. you put a hand on your eyebrows, pretending to look around before peering at the girl next to you. "you hear something minjeong?" winter shrugged, digging through her locker a bit more. under all the piles of expired coupons for makeup brands, surely her binder would be there. "knock it off. just cause he's short doesn't mean he's invisible." you did the same for her, looking around sarcastically. winter laughed at your antics, hitting your shoulder.
ah yes, winters friend group. there was practically gorilla glue that stuck their phones and makeup brushes to their hands. keita had always been around them, since they usually ended up in rotation dating a member of the rugby team. he couldn't find himself liking any of them, which only worsened your appeal to him. he scoffed, pointing to his locker. "can you move?"
"or what? why'ya in such a rush" you finally acknowledged his presence, though once you did keita wished you'd gone back to ignoring him completely. the way you looked and talked to him as if he was a child utterly *irked* him. he took a deep breath, stabilizing his anger. "look. i just need to get my notes for my next class. and you're in the way of my locker." he spoke clearly and slowly, purposely over-explaining. somehow this seemed to satisfy you though, as you ruffled his hair and moved closer to winter.
"why didn't you just say so? isnt it easier to just use your words?" you cooed, peering over to winter to earn a giggle out of her. now, this had never been something keita had experienced before. being one of the all-star athletes of their grade, people went out of their way to not pick on him. and even if they did the whispers were quickly silenced after the first game of the season. so this kind of behavior was completely foreign to the boy, leaving him dumbfounded on how to respond. he furrowed his eyebrows, not appreciating the way he was the butt of your jokes.
"don't touch me."
"ouch! the boy bites" you pretended to wipe the hand on your jeans, acting as if keita was some rabid dog that just gave you a disease from his metaphorical bite. winter seemed to find this hilarious, elbowing you with a mean grin.
"pick on someone your own size!" she sneered, clearly meaning it back-handedly as the pair walked away giggling.
keita balled his fists, feeling his blood boil. he swore, in all his past interactions with minjeong she was never this bitchy, and the sight of the new winter made him huff out in frustration. is this what it felt like for all the kids his friends had teased throughout the years? this shit blows! maybe he should've listened to all the anti-bullying campaigns from jr high...
☆...★...☆...★...☆
keita was unimpressed but not surprised to see the same torso resting on his locker the next day, though he didn't lose his rationality last time he can't guarantee the same today.
as soon as the two of you made eye contact, you began yawning in boredom. it only took a split second for you to come up with a new callous comedy routine, tapping on winters locker door. "we gotta hurry, we're on a time crunch." you said, no sarcasm laced in your tone. you began tapping your wrist as if there was a watch on it, making winter furrow her eyebrows in confusion. and keita doesn't blame her, he would've thought you were being serious too had he not seen the glint of mischief in your eyes. "what? why?" she looked over to you, noticing the boys presence and scoffing out of amusement at the new context.
he turned to you, now deciding to stoop to your level in terms of petty insults. "what happened to pick on people your own size? the basketball team is just waiting for you." hes sure you've heard the 'you should join basketball' or 'you should join volleyball' about a thousand times before, and his theory was proven correct when he saw your eye twitch. "you know, you seem like a sports person too! i know exactly which sport you play"
did you know? you could tell he was a jock! maybe this is the part where you finally start respecting him as a person, showing human decency! he knew he misjudged you, or maybe you were just in a bad mood the other day. it doesn't matter now, now keita feels comforted with the fact that at least he can wear with pride his apparent 'sports person look'. he cleared his throat, a proud grin on his face as he looked up at you. "yeah? you know what sport i play?"
you nodded, glancing at winter to wait for her cue to leave before continuing. "of course i do!" you smiled, starting to take steps away from his locker to match your friend's walking pace.
"its mini golf."
☆...★...☆...★...☆
"what's wrong kei? you've had a scowl on your face since you've buckled your seatbelt." his frown deepened, slumping into the passenger seat.
"i do not!"
"do too!" beomgyu added with a snicker, peering from the backseat. heeseung quickly yanked him back, putting beomgyus seatbelt on for him. the four of them, sungchan included, were on the way to a random burger joint as per usual. last week it was the mall where they convinced heeseung to buy the biggest dildo in the spencers aisles. the week before that it was the skate park where beomgyu brought a scooter because he didn't know how to skate.
with rugby seasons coming up, this would probably be the last time keita tagged along before the group became busy with their sports. october was always a hectic month for all of them, and he would've felt like shit if the last moment he had with his friends was of him complaining about some girl.
"what's wrong? seriously, you can tell us anything bro" sungchan continued, one hand on the wheel while the other rested on keita's knee. he gave keita a comforting squeeze, causing the boy's sour look to soften. "... well. y'all know the transfer, right?"
the other three nodded, all having their tidbits to add.
"yeah the tall chick"
"shes pretty cool"
"winter and yunjin's group, right?"
keita clicked his tongue, his nose scrunching at their nonchalance about her.
"why? you got rejected by her or something?" beomgyu snickered before getting hit by heeseung, mumbling something about asshole and salt into the wound.
"what? no! she's a total douchebag."
a moment of silence hung in the car as the boys looked around each other, gauging one another's reactions. it wasn't long before the three burst out into laughter.
"im serious! y/n is such a-"
"is she a jerk or are you insecure?" heeseung wiped a tear, hitting keitas shoulder.
keitas mouth faltered, losing confidence in his conviction. sungchan hummed an agreement, both hands on the wheel. "she's pretty funny man, you just gotta not take her seriously."
keita straightened up in his seat, folding his arms over each other.
"she has no business making those kinds of jokes."
"or maybe you need to loosen up a bit"
keita looked out the window, sighing softly. maybe they were right. maybe he was just a little sensitive about his height and you weren't doing any harm! yeah, he's sure that's it. he just misjudged you. wait... he's getting a sense of deja vu.. nono! this time is different. keita was positive it wouldn't be long until he started viewing you the same way everyone else did.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
strolling to his locker, keita kept trying to tell himself it'd be fine. things were different now! he was sure talking to you with a different attitude would change how you both viewed one another.
when he approached the two of you again, he replaced his usual frown with a neutral expression.
"it's the all-star athlete!" you clapped as if you had been waiting for his entrance. keita felt reassured by the fact that you didn't have something snarky to add this time! things really would be different.
"we should go to one of his games" winter added, barely looking their way before returning to her locker. seriously how is she this unorganized? you responded with a shrug, shaking your head slightly. "i dunno, i'm not a huge fan of golf."
golf? winter and keita exchanged a confused glance before looking back at you. keita was about to correct you when it seemed to dawn on him their bickering from a couple of days ago. he felt his eye twitch involuntarily, oh, you are *such* a bitch.
he tried to rationalize with himself. you're just joking! take it easy! but if they're just jokes how do you know exactly how to get under his skin??
keita balled his fists again before pointing at you with narrowed eyes. "why don't you come to watch my actual game this friday? don't come apologizing to me after you see the scoreboard." he shot a tongue through his cheek. he's not sure why he loses his rationality every time you come into the equation, but he just couldn't help the way he walked toward his next class without even bothering to open his locker.
you looked over to winter with an amused expression. "he actually plays a sport?"
"yeah, rugby."
"is he any good?"
"arguably the best player."
you sat in silence for a second, calculating in your head what to do. once winter slammed the door shut, you started walking with her, a smirk now emerging on your face.
"let's buy some tickets then."
☆...★...☆...★...☆
the gates to the stadium were flooded, and you could barely find your friend group, even with you towering over everyone.
beomgyu was the first to spot you, sneaking up on you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder.
"yo! i didn't know you'd be here smelly"
"i'm not the one with major B.O. here" beomgyu laughed, teasing you with a couple of pats on your arm. he then paused, dropping his smile and smelling his other pit before shrugging.
"i'm not the one that has my head literally in the clouds," he said, pointing to your head to emphasize your height.
"i'm not the one with my head metaphorically in the clouds" you flicked his forehead, raising your shoulder so his arm would naturally slip off of it.
just as he was about to respond, winter and yunjin quickly joined the both of you hand in hand. "you ready?" you asked, showing your phone with the ticket opened. winter joined you in the action, dragging yunjin around as she raced inside the stadium.
once you met up with the others, you sat down in between sungchan and aisha, the only two people who could balance your height in between them.
"what's the occasion? did minjeong come here to show you all her exes or something" aisha was quickly hit lightly on the arm at the question. the statement seemed harmless. something you could've easily played off. but for some reason, the question had you flushing and hiding your face with your hand. winter stuck out her tongue, managing to make her voice ring above the laughing.
"you wish! she's here for keita!" you hid your face even more, unable to act cool when the wave of embarrassment hit you. sungchan furrowed his brows at the revelation. "kei??"
"por favor?" winter responded, doubling down on her claim. sungchan shook her head, reaching over behind him to talk to her. "no, that's his nickname you idiot" you snickered at the two, taking note of the abbreviated name.
"oh.. yeah! gigantic y/n here was gushing about it!"
"was not!"
you were met by a wave of teases from everyone around you, which proved to be overwhelming with the 10+ voices all chanting insults. suddenly you felt someone shaking your shoulder aggressively, yanking your attention from the growing red on your face.
it wasn't that big of a deal right? i mean, sure you were here to watch keita but it didn't mean anything. you were only here on account of all the bluffs you had heard from the man himself. so why did it feel so awkward to admit where your motivations were?
"look, your loverboy is on the field~" aisha whispered, snapping you back to reality. you pouted, mumbling a retort even with the way your eyes began darting for him.
"you know, keita um.." you peered over to heeseung, who had surprisingly been quiet throughout the game. "he kinda well.." he seemed to not be able to finish his sentence, his stammers only increasing when he noticed your confused face.
"he hates you." beomgyu finished the thought for him, causing both you and heeseung to sigh in sync with one another.
"i dunno what i'm doing wrong! i treat him the rest of you and the reactions totally different" you huffed, crossing your arms while shaking your head. beomgyu decided to keep talking, despite heeseungs expression.
"it's cause he's an egomaniac"
there was a pause, letting you process the new information. your eyes suddenly widened, before you point at him.
"that would make sense! wow, you had a coherent thought! since when did you use your brain?" beomgyu stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry at you. aisha shoves his face out the way, replacing it with her shocked face.
"what do you mean it 'makes sense'?? i thought you had a thing for him??"
you quickly shook your head with a frown. "i'm here cause he invited me." beomgyu and sungchan exchanged a confused look, both hesitantly looking back at you. "did he?"
you nodded before continuing. "something about showing off to me. minjeong, back me up here!" she took a couple of hard blinks, trying to load in her brain what you just said. "oh yeah! i wasn't paying attention to you two, i tend to tune your arguments out"
she looked over to the field, clearly focused on a specific player. following her eyes, you naturally drifted to watch the game. the corner of your lip curled in amusement at your perfect timing, watching as keita crashed into the floor and scored a try, seemingly with ease. the boys in your circle all began to rise out their seats, roaring and cheering while chanting his name. he looked over to the energetic crowd, giving them a quick thumbs up before running off to their next formation.
"i might have to steal your loverboy," aisha said, shaking your shoulder again. she was clearly in a trance, making you softly scoff at the way her eyes seemed fixated on the boy. you weren't jealous in the slightest! honest! she could have him if she wanted. sure, the try was pretty cool, but so what? he still hated you anyways.
"god, you look like keita with that frown" sungchan teased, giving you a lighthearted grin.
"whatever. i'm gonna go get some stadium food. wanna come?" you hummed the question, standing up and stretching your legs softly. sungchan rose with you, giving the other guys a thumbs up before walking off with you.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
as keita approached his locker, a proud smirk emerged on his face. he crossed his arms while he waited for you to notice him, eagerly awaiting your reaction.
the scoreboard of the night was 45-27, a good 15 of those points were thanks to keita. you watched the whole night with your eyes glued to him. you had even memorized his jersey number; keita was 17.
"so?" his eyebrow was raised, his question ringing through your ears. you went home that day promising to yourself you would not speak of it. to his face, at least. the last thing you'd want do to is join his fanbase at your school (which consisted of aisha after the game)
"so?" you repeated at him, acting clueless as to what he was insinuating.
"you know what i'm talking about."
you shook your head playfully. "no.. i don't. you gotta use your words, big boy"
his lip twitched at the name. he was *not* a child, and why you seemed to still have that narrative even after watching him tackle with as much energy as he could muster irritated keita beyond belief.
he sighed, knowing you wouldn't entertain him unless he played along with you.
"the rugby game. 'm guessing you were there?"
"what's it to you?"
his confident stature faltered for a second. he.. hadn't thought of the scenario where you hadn't gone. if you weren't there.. that would've ruined absolutely everything. that night keita fought so hard for *you*. even if it was out of spite to prove you wrong, every single point he scored he imagined your shocked expression. he had imagined beomgyu and sungchan gassing him up. he thought about ryujin and minju giving you a disapproving glare, asking how in the world you could berate someone like that. like *him*. if the reality was you were chilling at home, netflix turned up while he was busting his ass on the field...
he stuttered, suddenly losing eye contact with you.
"you at least heard about it... right?" he mumbled the last part, despising the way his voice began to lose all power it had before. that's always what happened when he was around you. all the authority leaving him and rendering him powerless at your sly remarks. winter interrupted the two of you, peaking from behind her locker.
"we were. y/n was the one that dragged me there" you lightly hit her arm, whispering something keita couldn't pick up on. reassured, keita continued.
"you take back what you said?"
"about what?"
"you know.. about the mini golf" he muttered, now extremely embarrassed. he hadn't realized how.. immature he was until now. keita didn't have a deep hatred for golf or anything, so why was he so offended? why did he want to impress you so badly? he crossed your arms, leaning against the lockers with a smirk. "you want my praise?" keita scoffed, acting as if you were unbelievable. he rolled his eyes, looking at you to spew bluffs before his eyes softened at the eye contact. okay. maybe he did...
you shook your head. "i never said you weren't good NPD." his eyes furrowed at the new nickname. what's.. that stand for? if it was another hidden short joke he felt he would've exploded on the spot. you laughed at his expression, patting his hair before gesturing to winter you were ready to go. "you impressed me, see you around."
☆...★...☆...★...☆
"what's NPD?"
heeseung laughed curiously at keitas sudden question. looking up from his computer. "narcissistic personality disorder. why? you got a health project?"
silence clouded the boy's mind for a second, everything becoming a haze. it didn't take long for fury to fill every inch of his body. from the ends of his fingertips to the strands of his hair, keitas mind went blank with rage.
"that BITCH!" keita suddenly slammed his fists on the table, disrupting their study hall period. the teacher gave him a look, to which keita only sheepishly smiled. he turned to heeseung. "i'll tell you later"
once later came he had pulled his friends (beomgyu and sungchan had decided to tag along against his wishes) away, deciding they needed to eat off campus for lunch today.
"sung, what's NPD?" he asks the same question to his friend, making sure to get a consistent answer. "NPD? isn't that narcissism?" keita grits his teeth. so it was true.
"that stupid ass-"
"did someone call you that?" heeseung cut him off, knowing better than to let keita rage out in the car.
"i swear when i see y/n again i'll-" beomgyu burst out laughing upon hearing who was responsible for the new name, unable to control the roars of laughter erupting from his lips. keita rolled his eyes, but said nothing in defense of the teasing comments.
"wait wait wait.. y/n said you had NPD?"
"i'm *not* narcissistic!" the glances the other 3 shared said otherwise, making keita straighten his back defensively. "when have i ever done something narcissistic??" they all glanced at each other again, unsure how honest they can be.
"i mean there was that one time during basketball practice you-"
"that doesn't count! hanbin was *asking* for it."
"okay, well what was the context before the nickname" keita huffed put; recalling the memory in his head. his pout then changed into an open expression, his mouth falling agape when he connected the dots. "okay well, that was a different story! it's was-" he was interrupted by beomgyus giddy laughter again, listening as he began clapping hysterically.
"this is too good" gyu had choked out to heeseung, making the corners of his lips curl into a smile as well.
"you think she got the nickname from what you said at the game??" sungchan teased, hitting beomgyus shoulder lightly. keita glanced between the two, his lips thinning into a frown.
"whaddya say?"
"he called you an egomaniac" keita looked at beomgyu with an unimpressed expression, waiting to beomgyu to defend himself.
"i'm just saying man," beomgyu shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the death glare being sent his way. "you invited some girl that you think hates you to watch you play so she'd stop hating you?"
"that doesn't make me narcissistic."
"okay, what was the full conversation?" beomgyu continues to instigate, even with everyone else's silent pleas for him to stop. gyu was pretty much the only one immune to keitas bitch face, which results in beomgyu usually being the one getting bruises from him. even with beomgyu being in hockey, his muscular strength was far outweighed by keitas kicks to the shin.
keitas mouth fell agape, just now reflecting on his actions. he glanced away, biting the inside of his cheek softly. "i wanted to hear her say i did good.."
"an egomaniac *and* a praise kink??" heeseung quickly covered beomgyus mouth to stop him from spewing any more bullshit. keita was once again left defenseless, a situation he felt become more and more commonplace the longer you stayed. if a magic genie came up to him right now, his three wishes would be to grow 20 cm, make beomgyu less annoying, and zap you from existence altogether. the longer he knew you the less tolerable you became. seriously, not one redeeming quality! how is that even possible? the cherry on top was how everyone seemed infatuated with you.. how did you even manage that? sure you were pretty, but all that you had going for you. frustrated, keita suddenly lost his appetite for lunch that day.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
keita would describe himself as a down-to-earth guy. he stands around 165, and has overgrown darkish brown hair he's been wanting to cut since may. he enjoys his rugby teammates and coffee. he likes cooking and cats, and he dislikes reading and homework. new entry on his dislikes: you.
or would you fit under enjoys? he wasn't sure anymore. it seemed so strange to him he'd consider that as a possibility. there's no way you'd be an enjoys! he can hardly say he enjoys your presence and to say he enjoys your attitude is a *gross* overstatement, so why did he miss you when you were absent today?
walking to the lockers felt empty without anticipating your sly comments. it felt strange that he missed it. he should be relieved you were sour of his daily routine, even if it's just 1 time. but this 1 time his frown was even deeper than all the other times before it.
“where’s y/n?” he asks winter directly, who shrugged in response. "contrary to popular belief: we are *not* attached at the hip. she barely tells me anything." his eyebrow raised in amusement, suddenly curious. he was also curious by the way winters usual time digging was cut in half. it was strange why she was in such a rush...
"than why is she always next to you?"
"she makes me carry her shit for her" she groans, leaving keita to presume it's probably a peeve for the girl. "why she doesn't use her locker i dunno! all i know is my locker is filled to the brim with random sticky notes from her bag."
it suddenly dawned on keita he had never questioned why winter took forever at her locker past she was unorganized. and he had never considered the option that you hung around winter often because she was your errand boy. retrospectively, everything seemed to make slightly more sense. he opened his mouth to continue his stream of questions, but winter rolled her eyes.
"do you only have y/n and rugby in your brain?" keita was about to argue back, but he quickly found he couldn't. he really.. didn't think about much else.
"i have someone i wanted to talk to you about. related to both those things." his eyes rose in confusion. how are those two subjects even linkable?
winter closed her locker, leaning against it with her arms folded. she gestured for keita to come closer, holding back a laugh when she noticed they were the same height. she spoke lowly, as if this was some big secret, even with the way she had already told half the kids in the hallways before keita.
"i'm throwing a party post-game, assuming you guys win. it'd be rude not to invite the team." keita had a specific face when he was confused or about to ask a question. one that with enough time around him was easy to recognize. almost always dating someone on keitas circle, winter had become accustomed to the expression.
"yes, y/n is invited."
"i wasn't gonna ask that." keita shot back, joining the girl in her folded arms.
"then what was your question."
he cleared his throat, his body physically relaxing the longer they held a conversation. "want me to pass the message to the team?"
winter nodded.
"yeah, sure. i was gonna do it myself, but it might be easier for you. see you around NPD" she gave a half-assed wave, walking quickly and joined with minju rather than y/n who was typically tailing behind her.
his teeth grit at the continuing of the nickname. though it wasn't as annoying coming out of winters mouth, it somehow made him even angrier. how that works, keita himself wasn't sure. but he just found a new reason to do well at the game.
confronting you at the party.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
"does this look pretty on me?"
"why? you tryna impress keita?"
you rolled your eyes, holding a fist up threateningly. "you didn't answer my question."
yunjin took you in for a second, trying to find the best response.
"you'll end up impressing more than just keita" she winked, sitting down on the edge of the bed with a relieved sigh. pouting, you sat down next to her and glanced at the closet winter had locked herself into.
"why do you guys think i'm so obsessed with that guy anyways?"
yunjin looked at you as if you were crazy, lightheartedly chuckling. "you guys are basically a couple at this point."
"are we?? or do you just want to see me tied down"
yunjin scooted closer to you, placing her hand on your shoulder and facing you directly.
"yeah. cause i text my friends for advice on new nicknames to call a guy when i have no interest in him" you met her expression with an eye roll, though you didnt retort. no matter what you responded with you would only end up digging your hole deeper. winter saved your ass, waltzing out with a pencil skirt and a low-cut shirt. "you have to admit NPD is pretty funny" yunjin waved you both off, checking her phone.
"whatever, it's almost time. people should be pouring in any second."
winter joined the two of you on her bed, leaning her head on your shoulder when yunjin began tuning the two of you out in favor of all the stories she hadn't checked.
"first public school party, you ready y/n?"
"is it like the movies?" winter laughed at your innocent question, debating between lying to you or not. "only if you're with the right crowd" she went with lying! it's easy to tease you when you were clueless about public school and how it works.
"one thing though.." she started, looking at you to see if she piqued your interest.
"pregame is always the best part"
you tilted your head curiously. "what's pregame?"
yunjin put down her phone, quickly humming in response. "it's when people take shots before the actual party. as prep. minjeong memorized the usual people by heart at this point."
you nodded along, taking note of the words "usual people". ....was keita one of them? fuck! you did it again! you stood up from the bed, shrugging as you walked towards the stairs. "someones gotta open the door for them." you reasoned, walking through the open doorway and exiting winters room. it seemed as if they were waiting for you, with the way the entire rugby team came flooding into the living room the moment you had gone down one step.
"yo! winter send ya out here to entertain us?" one of the guys questioned, gesturing for you to come join them. you shook your head, now rushing down the steps. "nah, just have good timing i guess."
they all seemed to be carrying booze packages, placing them lazily on the dining room table. you watched silently, holding the fact that they resembled worker ants to yourself. the same one that called to you from before spoke again, now sitting on the couch. "why'ya here so early?" he asked the question with a hum, crossing his arms as he started to get comfortable. the other boys were quick to follow, and soon the entire coach and the seats surrounding were all occupied. you waltzed over next to him to answer the question with a shrug.
"i live right next door. wasn't a long walk."
"is that how you know minjeong?"
"you could say." he frowned is disdain. your answers were so direct and short. as if you were expecting the conversation to end every time you opened your mouth. he wasn't gonna give up though, instead, he tapped the armrest for you to sit on. you did reluctantly, making sure to keep space between you two.
"if you live so close why didnt you go to our school till now"
"i went to a private k-12. you wouldn't know the name." keita had been sitting on the other end of the couch this entire time, though he faked a sense of aloofness. even though he wasn't even glancing your way, his opened snapchat that he hadn't tapped in minutes telling you everything.
"i'm realizing i don't know anything about you."
"and i plan to keep it that way."
"why?" you could see keitas head perk up, eagerly waiting the answer. you instead slipped a bottle into the guys hand, giving him a teasing smile.
"drink if you want to ask any more questions. i'm not giving away my info for free." he glanced down to the bottle, fidgeting with it in his hand.
"jiung, dont. you're our designated driver." the dude next to him put a hand on the boy's shoulder warningly, though his palm was quickly shaken off.
"fuck it. keita can be the new driver."
only then did you decide to pretend to acknowledge him, making a small gasp before waving. "NPD! what's up, i didnt notice you" you walked over to his side of the couch, crouching down so your elbows were on the armrest rather than sitting on it.
"was it not clear by the fact that the rugby team is here?"
"ohhhh, that's who these guys are! hey, congrats on the game" you gave him a half-assed smile, watching closely as he swallowed the insults urging to leave his lips.
"you don't sound very sincere"
you smiled again, this time more genuine. "i guess it's cause im not surprised you won." he raised his eyebrow back at you.
"what? is this a compliment im hearing?"
"i wouldn't say *that*"
he clicked his tongue in response, nodding slowly.
"of course you wouldn't CHD."
he had a shit-eating grin on his face, unable to hide his proud expression now. you tilted your head teasingly, dropping the volume in your voice noticeably. "what does that stand for?" he leaned closer to you, clearing his throat before dropping his voice too, muttering in a voice barely above a whisper. "chronic. hater. disorder" you grin at him, opening your mouth to compliment his creativity until jiung interrupted the two of you.
"if i chug the whole bottle how many questions is that?" you perk your head up, making a small humming noise as you think of an answer. "15."
he pouted, looking at the bottle then towards you. "there's definitely more than 15 sips in here."
"that's why sips don't count."
he gave you an unreadable look, but before jiung could connect the bottle to his lips some more people came flooding in, officially starting the party. you turned back to jiung, smiling at him softly. "you're outta time, maybe if you find me again we can continue" you have him a small wave, walking back up to winters room. keita let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding in. he wasn't sure who to be frustrated at, but all he knew was he needed to tackle someone to get his rage out again.
as the night continued and more people joined, it became increasingly hard to find you. annoyed, keitas willingness to be sober decreased by the second. he huffed out, trying to find sungchan beomgyu or heeseung in hopes they could bring him to his senses. his mood only soured as he watched winter and sungchan throw themselves on each other. well great. guess he's gonna see her more often.
that was his final straw. and with the final snap, he stormed over to the kitchen, yanking out a solo cup from the package and walking over to the jug (dispenser thing idk what they're called). once he walked over to the booze station, keitas frown deepened even more upon seeing your face. before he could even pour any liquid into his cup, he found himself compressing it into his balled fist, making a loud crunching noise with his tear and rip made into the plastic material. he opened his palm, letting it fall out of his hand. it took everything in keita to not begin screaming at you the moment he recognized your features. instead, he turned around and quickly ran to find beomgyu.
"why did minjeong let those creepazoids come in early?" you complained, shifting around uncomfortably. ever since you left jiung with the bottle and a challenge you had been pulling your skirt down uncontrollably, memorizing every face in every room you entered. you had hoped he wouldn't show up with an empty bottle. you had hoped he hadn't already memorized what questions you asked. and you especially hoped keita wouldn't end up the designated driver tonight. yunjin shrugged with disinterest at you. you could tell from the way her eyebrows furrowed she wanted to call you absurd for your behavior. "they give us free drinks. we haven't had to buy any in a *long* time." she grinned, handing you a cup and opening a can to pour the beer into it.
"underage drinking? i'm disappointed yunjin."
"you'll get used to it preppy." she teased back, drinking the leftover liquid in the can. you glance down at your hand curiously.
a red solo cup. just like in the movies. you had sworn you dreamed about them on the days leading up to your enrollment. you figured this was just another myth. a trope that has been long dead when it comes to real-life practice. it's interesting though, good things usually never come from these things. still, you took a sip. the bitter buzz of the alcohol made your throat burn and it felt as if you were drinking acid. it tasted utterly disgusting and yet you go back for another taste. yunjin smiles at you, hitting your shoulder lightly. "you'll get used to it."
her face sours as if she had just eatten a lemon, contracting into a look of discomfort.
"looks like you haven't either"
"i'm a lot closer than you are." you both laugh. a dry laugh, one with no joy or humor. it was empty noise as you kept glancing beyond yunjin, watching if one of the rugby guys stumbles in to give you that same shit. yunjin watched silently, unsure of how to help comfort you. "go find keita." her sudden demand caught you off guard.
"what? why?"
"if you tell him what's going on he'll tell them to knock it off. they'll listen to their captain a lot more than some chick." she smiled, gesturing to the door. you smile back at her, ruffling her hair lightly. "thanks short stack."
"i'm actually one of the tallest girls here" she flips you off on your way out, making you both laugh. a genuine one this time. one without that same emptiness.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
it didnt take long for you to find keita. he sat at the same spot on the couch, where they last talked. you sat down next to him, not even making eye contact before speaking.
"can you do me a favor?"
"why should i?" he also doesn't look at you, drinking from the beer bottle in his hand. you turn to him, and for the first time, showed him vulnerability.
"you're the only person i can ask about this..."
he pauses for a moment, taking another sip.
"let's see what great things youve done to earn a favor from me:" you gulped, watching the fury start to burn in his eyes.
"your nickname for me is a narcissist. you've made comments about my height so often my friends have started giving me shit for it. you mocked the fact that i was an athlete. you've made me late to class half the time. i've become a joke to my entire social circle. but at least you congratulated me for my game." he finally turned to you, his elbows resting on his knees with a wry chuckle. "oh wait. you didn't even mean it."
"what's your problem?"
"MY.. problem?? i should be the one asking you that." he stood up, pointing at you now. he finished up his drink, placing it on the table before gawking at you completely appalled. you furrowed your eyebrows at him. why was keita making such a big outburst? you genuinely couldnt understand what was wrong with him. "it's my problem you're a bitch now?" you stood up too, narrowing your eyes at the boy. you leaned down to get closer to his face, whispering lowly. you mustered up the scariest expression you could, and the most intimidating tone you could manage.
"what did you just say to me?" you saw the way his eyes could barely focus on you. it was as if they had been glazed over with the pink tint. throwing him over your shoulder, you sighed and began marching over to find one of the captains. even though he didn't thrash around like a child, it didn't stop his loud complaints. "put me down! what do you think youre doing asshole?! get off of me!"
once you located an equally wasted beomgyu and heeseung, you quickly threw keita from off your shoulder and placed him down in front of them. they didn't seem to ask questions about the predicament... not that they had a chance to anyways. keita huffed, sending daggers with his glare.
"you guys need to take care of him. he's a little drunk right now"
"i guess it's my problem you're a coward who can't handle being called out."
this entire day he seemed to be egging you on, seeing how long it took before you got genuinely angry. and you're not sure it's because of the drinks, the stress from everything earlier, or the insults themselves but something had *snapped*. you gave a fake smile to his two friends that shared a completely over it expression.
keita hadn't even gotten another word in before you politely excused the two of you and dragged him off to some hallway.
"you wanna talk? lets fucking talk." you crossed your arms, waiting for an explanation.
"let's start off with the fact that you hate me. i just don't understand why you're *so* rude to me"
"what do you mean?"
he scoffed "what do YOU mean? you've been teasing me since we made eye contact! you didn't even know anything about me before i was called names and mocked."
you gave him a couple hard blinks, seemingly coming to a revelation. as if a lightbulb had sparked above your head. "holdonholdonholdon-"
"im not finished!"
"you don't have to be." you frowned, grabbing his wrist and pushing him into the closest room to have more privacy.
"explain to me again why you don't like about the way i treat you?"
he did it again, slowly and enunciating clearly. even if he was pretentious, you always seemed satisfied when he talked slower. calling it "using his words". you blinked a couple more times, a genuinely confused face. not one that seemed to invalidate his feelings, or want to call him names. one that seemed to be missing information.
"is that... not how everyone talks?"
he also paused. keita blinked in sync with you now, completely at a loss for words.
"...HUH?"
"i asked yunjin and winter on how to act more like a public school kid and they both tell me everyone's mean and tease each other all the time."
.... WHAT?
so you were just doing it to fit in?? not to piss keita off? not because winter had a secret grudge against him and used you as her secret revenge? not because you're just a bitch....?
"is that... not true" your voice trembled a bit, worry written all over your eyes and brows. keita soften his tone, sighing out slightly.
"it's not far off" he muttered, a new urge to comfort you overtaking him. he guessed it made more sense in hindsight. with the miscommunication now cleared up, a million more questions now appeared in his head. he moved closer to you slightly, your horrified look rendering you unable to respond.
"it's just.." he thought for a second, looking up at you with gentle eyes for the first time since the two of you had met. you locked eyes and you seemed to find peace in each others pupils. "how come you're more harsh to me than anyone else?"
keitas question was met with silence, making him add more to the inquiry for context. "like my other rugby guys?"
your face soured at the mention of them, the uncomfortable reminder of jiung who was probably hunting you down with questions prepped. with your privacy about to be invaded and with another guy hitting on you. you laughed softly at keita, gently pushing loose hair behind your ear.
"i didnt even know any of their names before today. how was i supposed to know what to say to get them to react like you do?"
"like i do?"
"you're cute! the way you get angry and start heaving with anger makes me want to push your buttons more" you admitted, watching with satisfaction at the way he got riled up from that confession alone. he caught on, relaxing his shoulders and trying to wipe the grin off your face.
"you think i'm cute?"
you laughed louder this time, easing the tension in the room by a tenfold.
"if that's your takeaway."
"so you do! wahhh if you wanted to ask me out you should've already"
"as if! you would've gotten all aggressive on me like earlier."
"i wouldnt know, you haven't flirted with me like you were with jiung before the party."
you scoffed, rolling your eyes in disbelief.
"you think i'm into that guy?"
"actions speak louder than words" he threw his hands up defensively.
was keita actually being serious? you weren't even sure what the reason for these accusations were, but you were gonna make sure they don't continue. you slyly moved closer to him, lowering your head to his level.
"if you hadn't noticed you've asked about a hundred questions and i haven't made you pay a single tax. if i'm into jiung why is that?"
"cause i'm already wasted enough as it is." he replied, only around half conscious at this point. the longer you two talked and the closer you got, the more he felt his stare linger. the hotter the room suddenly became. the more kissable your lips seemed...
he exhaled quickly, nodding to himself. "*really* wasted.." you smirked at where his eyes were glued.
"me too." you whispered, trailing your sight down to his lips as well. his hand softly placed itself on your cheek, his thumb making circles around the cheekbone.
he could've sworn he had never felt this way about you before. keita had never once looked at you and felt attraction. what the difference was tonight he was unsure of. how irresistible you became was a question he'd never get answered. how much you seemed to be calling to him left keita speechless, unable to process even his own thoughts.
"fuck." now unable to hold back, he firmly pulled your face down and finally connected your lips, letting the feeling marinate for a moment. the sparks exploded and the little butterflies created fireworks in his heart. all the fairytales would've never prepared him for how dreamy a kiss while completely drunk would be. you stayed frozen, not even bothering to process what was happening. the more you thought about it the less it made sense so you decided not to think about it. enjoy the moment. even if it was temporary.
even with your dynamic, even with your reputations in school, even with the way *everything* would change after this none of it mattered. time froze. everything froze. and for this one period, you didn't have to think about anything else but the way your lips fit with each other like jigsaw puzzles, moving with one another's in perfect rhythm you could get lost in it.
*knock knock*
"is your uh, argument over? it got really quiet for a second and i just-"
you threw yourself off keita and he ripped himself out of your grasp by the shoulders. you both made eye contact for a moment, unable to process what had just happened. why it happened. how it happened. when it happened. it seemed... completely unbelievable. keita cleared his throat awkwardly, stepping over to the door.
"yeah. we've come to a middle ground i guess." he opened it, revealing heeseung who was awkwardly leaning against the wall.
"that's good! that's good.. me and beomgyu were worried how long you two would y'know.. be at it."
you joined in clearing your throat, adjusting your hair and top anxiously. as you approached the door, you turned to heeseung and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"keep an eye on keita. he was supposed to be the designated driver but..." you trailed off, glancing at him with heeseungs eyes following yours to keita who awkwardly shifted. you made eye contact with him again, patting his shoulder one more time before slipping out.
"how did you end up like this?" heeseung teased, wrapping his arm around keitas shoulder and escorting him out.
"it's a long story"
☆...★...☆...★...☆
that night was some of the worst sleep hes had in a *long* time
keita hadn't told anyone about what happened that friday, hoping to forget it himself. every attempt at purging the memory only seemed to resurface it though, which drove him insane. the more he thought about it the more he started to think about the conversation beforehand. you two had cleared up the misunderstanding that basically drove your dynamic up until this point.
he had no clue how to bring it up if you mentioned it. what would he even say? the more the thought about it the worse his headache seemed.
so keita figured he'd do what seemed like the most reasonable conclusion. pretend like he knew nothing.
your heart skipped a beat when you saw the boy approach his locker, his eyes glued to something on his phone. when he glanced up, you couldn't help the way you slid away from the lockers, giving him full access unlike normal.
keita had assumed based on your relaxed body language that you hadn't remembered. he does recall you both being drunk, so blackout wasn't out of the question. you grinned once he arrived, that smug grin that gave him a new pet peeve he didn't know he had until you.
"congrats on the game NPD." he rolled his eyes, not wanting to give into whatever scheme you had brewing. even though he cleared the misunderstanding with you, it didn't stop your usual high and mighty act. he wasn't sure if he was glad or not, but keita wanted to push his luck with you. how much more information would you give without hesitation?
"you're not blocking my locker today."
you nodded. "isn't that a good thing?"
"i'm just curious what changed suddenly."
"it's a little gift for winning." he closed his locker, binder in hand as you stared at you unimpressed. "bullshit." you out your hands up defensively.
"why don't you just use your locker?"
you furrowed your brows "hm?"
"i heard from minjeong you don't use it. you could save both my time and yours if you just used your locker." he rolled his eyes, already expecting the headpats you'd give him for over explaining. although he wasn't exactly fond of them he can't say they weren't already a part of his routine when i came to you. you thought for a second, hands playing with his hair as you thought carefully.
"which question do you want the answer to more?"
"second one. i'm just dying to know." he batted his eyelashes dramatically, even if he did genuinely want to know the answer that doesn't stop the sarcasm keita laced in his voice.
you removed your hand, gently pushing him to the side. "why i don't use my locker?" you patted the one below keitas. "why i block your locker?" you patted the bottom one again, letting him connect the dots.
".. is that one too short for you?" your eyes rose in shock, your face flushing in embarrassment.
"well when you put it like that..." you trailed off, glancing to your locker and then winter. "gotta go. see you anyways NPD!" you quickly added, grabbing her by the shoulder and dragging her away.
keita sat there in disbelief, the 2nd revelation about you also clearing up a *lot* of the shit you did that bothered him. so you had the one below him? he guessed it made sense why you chose winter to carry your shit for you then, hers was diagonal to yours. he watched the two of you walk off, trying to process all the new information he just received.
you on the other hand also struggled to process your own revelation.
"it's interesting," you started, causing minjeong to glance curiously at you.
"i always thought he only talked to me cause i forced him to. he always complained about being late. but this time, he's still late. and i didnt do anything" you were rambling to yourself, completely lost in thought. your friend laughed at your cute behavior. she hadn't ever seen you gush about a guy, but she couldn't deny how cute it was seeing the one guy who happened to catch your eye. her friend had good taste, she has to say!
☆...★...☆...★...☆
you were frozen in place when you saw keita standing at the lockers this time, leaning against them while waiting for you. when he spotted you out the corner of his eye, he pushed himself off, turning to face you directly.
"you know your locker code?" you gave him a confused look at his question, deciding not to ask.
instead you nodded wordlessly. he nodded too, sliding a folded sticky note into your hand.
"let's trade lockers. you probably think mine is too tall for me anyways" he frowned, earning a grin and snicker from you.
"i swear i've seen you on your tippy toes to reach your lock" he smacks you lightly. you only laughed harder at his anger, leaving keita to end up giggling with you. you were about to fuel the flame by adding more instigating words, but was quickly shut down by winter clearing her throat awkwardly, giving you a side eye.
you let out one last chuckle, facing keita as you shook the sticky note in your hand. "will do"
you opened the paper, expecting his combination. as you skimmed through the numbers, you realized there was too many for a combination. winter pointed at the paper, softly scoffing. "it's his number. whyd you need his number if it's just to switch lockers?" you shrugged, not understanding it yourself. not that you minded, quite the contrary. you slide the paper into your pocket carefully. yeah, that was *not* going out of your sight anytime soon.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
the following days quickly turned to weeks, the days blending into one another. the more time you spent together the more natural your new friendship with keita, even preferable to the one from before.
It was strange, you could've sworn you *didnt* remember keita being this funny. or thoughtful. hell he's everything you *wouldnt* expect. since you got his number you certainly haven't let it gone to waste, texting him everyday.
all of your friends took notice to how close the two of you became, but said nothing. everyone was too busy congratulating sungchan and winter! you weren't the only one making moves during her party, and now sungchan was commonly seen accompanying the three of you at your lockers. as you and winter would leave he typically lingered behind with keita.
"don't you think it's funny?"
keita looked curiously over to his friend, whose eyes were glued to the girls.
"since you've become friends you started complaining about her more." he opened his mouth to retort, but was left speechless. not like sungchan was wrong, and though it didn't end with keita calling you a bitch or screaming, sungchan could name the amount of times he has something nice to say with just his two hands. that reminded him...
keita pulled out his phone, scrolling down to your contact. 'CHD 🥱'. he was still quite proud of himself for coming up with it, even if it paled in comparison to you calling him a narcissist. keita mindlessly hit the block button for the nth time. it became so common your eyes widen in panic everytime he whips his phone out.
sungchan peers over keitas shoulder, chuckling lightly. "again?"
"she called my face one only a mother could love."
"isnt your mom-"
"nonexistent? yes! shes met both my dads before" keita rolled his eyes, huffing out at the memory. he quickly stopped his way to his next class, sungchan staggering behind.
thank god for rugby. he had to get his rage out somehow.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
any bystander watching the scene playing out right now would be calling the cops immediately. luckily, the neighbors seemed somewhat used to it. at the very least, they don't give enough shits to even step in themselves. you scoffed, pacing back and forth before walking back up to the window. you began banging on it, just like you had for the past 10 minutes.
"look i'm sorry for what i said but open the damn window!" you hollered, followed by the eerie silence. like you had been doing for the past 10 minutes, you crossed your arms and waited for a response. like the past 10 minutes, you were left with nothing.
you began whining, and *unlike* the past 10 minutes the window cracked open, just enough for you to hear his voice but not enough to do anything yourself.
"knock on the door like a normal person and i'll let you in."
"we both know that's a lie. now open up! i'm sweating balls out here."
keita frowns, sliding the frame all the way open so you could easily climb in.
"sweating balls? it's november!"
"and i'm hot??" you wiped the dust off your pants, stretching your now sore legs.
"you banged on my window like a psycho.. just to tell me you're sorry?"
you gave him a grin, finishing off your yoga. "and to tell you to unblock me!"
"so your first instinct is breaking into my home?"
you shrugged, sitting down on his bed as if you owned the place. he sighed out, but did nothing to stop your attempts to get comfortable.
"i didnt break in, you let me in yourself" you pointed to the still opened frame. you then pointed to keita, your eyebrows raised. "and it's not *your* home, it's pops."
"don't call my dad pops!" he spat out, rolling his eyes. you felt like a nuisance to him, like your entire life's purpose was inconveniencing him.
he still wouldn't trade it for the world, and he acts like a lost puppy every time you're absent. the one time you missed his game to watch sungchans with winter, his heart sunk into a deep pit reserved for you. he never.. felt this way about someone before. it always catches keita off guard when he notices how much he's let you get away with. like breaking into his house to ask for him to unblock you. he always chalks the way his tummy turned to the fact that you drove him insane, and not the good kind. the conversation had yet to prove the former wrong. he scoffed out at the playful grin your displayed. it's as if you never took him seriously!
"he loves it when i do that!"
"well i dont!?"
you clicked your tongue, hollering out lazily.
"pops! im home"
silence hung in the air for a moment, both of you anticipating quietly for a response. there was faint shuffling heard from beyond keita room, and before long there was a knock at the door.
"when did you get here? i don't remember opening the door for anyone.."
he peered from the doorframe, with only half of his torso and his head visible.
"keita and i were just hanging out is all" you smiled brightly to his dad, gesturing to the boy with your foot. he only nodded, deciding it's better a better conclusion than the reality. his dad hummed out, matching your bright smile.
"i'll make a snack for you guys" you quickly gave him a thumbs up, but keita loudly groaned.
"dad, i'm not a kid. i don't need you to make me a plate of apples" he frowned, which was met with a dramatic elongated sigh.
"you need to learn your manners! look at your friend over here, god. this is why i'm glad you and y/n are friends, she can teach you a thing or two" he mumbled, walking out and toward what you presumed to be the kitchen.
"manners my ass. you're anything but classy." you batted your eyelashes, framing your face with your hands. keita flipped you off, letting himself fall into the bean bag underneath him. you laughed, rolling over in his bed in a fit of laughter.
"this is what i'm talking about! you're such a slob" he threw his arm out to point to you, but his complaints were meaningless amongst the sound of sheets rustling under you. he stood up, pulling your leg quite literally. "get off you'll give my bed fleas"
"what? isn't this your dream?" you teased, turning around to face him. keitas entire face flushed. what the fuck does that mean?
"having a hot chick just *waiting* for you" you wiggled your eyebrows, placing one hand on your hip and the other hand holding your head. he climbed onto the bed, hitting you lightly in the chest.
"as if. this is *your* dream to be on my bed right now"
you raised an eyebrow. keita didnt even have time to point out the fact that you had now shuffled out of his sheets and sat down properly.
"you're not denying i'm a hot chick?" you tilted your head, grinning. keita mirrored your gestures, putting hands on his hips. "you're not denying this is your dream?"
you lifted up your hand as a threat to punch the boy, your lips forming a frown. he held onto your wrist, ranking you closer so he could mutter something intimidating to your face.
as his mouth fell open, the door to his room did too.
"i got some-" his dad fell speechless once his gaze rested on the two of you and your.. comprising pose. keita swore it wasnt weird! absolutely nothing intimate. not until his dad entered the room. you both awkwardly cleared your throats, adjusting yourselves. you were met with a slow nod, the plate of fruits being your saving grace from eye contact.
"well i'll um... let you teens get back to that!" keitas dad coughed, ripping the produce away from your eyes as he closed the door behind him.
now you and keita sat in the hanging tension, hands on your knees as you both politely sat. he coughs, and you clear your throat. nothing. you suddenly stand up, "this looks like my cue to leave.."
he furrowed his brows.
"nonono, you can't break into my house, make fun of me, roll around on my bed like a dog, and then leave at your earliest convenience. i still havent even unblocked you yet."
you pointed at him before you turned around, trying to pry the window frame open. "you don't need to. i was just gonna text you dets for minjeongs party, but..."
you trailed off, facing the boy again with a half assed smile. "now that your confession is out, i'm scared i'll rizz you too hard!"
"cut the bullshit." he gave you an unimpressed look, and you sheepishly laughed in return.
"see you at 8?" be waved you off, watching carefully as you stuck a leg haphazardly out of his window. you gave him one last salute, stumbling as you landed on the other end. he sat there expressionless, slowly following as you begab running off.
he had noticed that neither of you denied other claim. why wouldnt he? he didnt *think* he liked you like that. i mean sure, you we're pretty! like.. really pretty. stunning even. but keita knew better than anyone else how rotten your personality truly was. so why was he still staring at the spot where you disappeared? it made no sense. if he really didnt care for you like he claimed, hes not sure why he spent so long thinking about you. why his heart starts racing when your close. why he kissed you at a party...
holy shit.
this couldnt be. when the fuck did keita develop feelings for you?! how the hell did this happen?? this cant be real... this isnt real!
he thought back to all your interactions and if seemed to hit him suddenly. he had *always* liked you. your teases couldnt be any closer to the truth.
keitas room seemed to spin under him, his mind completely dazed. everything was spiraling, he should- he has to- he wants a-
he sat himself on his bed, the only way he could stabilize himself. keita took a deep breath, recounting everything up until this point.
its no wonder he was so sensitive to your teasing. nor is it a surprise he craved your validation so bad. and he guess it made sense why you were always on his mind during rugby games.
well, looks like he found a new motivation to win the game this week.
to confess to you at the party.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
keita could hardly say he was surprised when he showed up to see you already there. just seeing you in person was so.. much different now.
nothings really changed. you're still y/n. the tallest girl in school, and the new student. he was still keita, the captain of the rugby team.
all of it wasnt out the ordinary, but *god* was it so different now.
almost anything made his tummy turn uncomfortably. like he wanted to vomit but all that would come out would be sparkles and rainbows.
the party had already started, and the music blared so loud it rang in his ears. he put his hands over his ears to muffle the noise. he needed to concentrate for his mission. his mission being that he *needed* to find you. keita wandered around aimlessly, peering at every which way like he was playing where's waldo.
and then he spotted you.
it seemed to hit him like an iron door. your beauty. oh my god, you were gorgeous. loss for words doesn't even scratch the surface of how keita felt in that moment, but he knew he was on a mission. there's no way in hell he's going back now, even if you did look like *that* while on the dance floor.
"y/n.."
you smiled when you spotted him, seizing your dancing to walk over to the boy. "wassup hot shot! congrats on the game" you patted his shoulder in approval. "i bet all the other teamed tremble in fear at your name" you were acting different from usually. you're a lot.... nicer than usual.
he's not sure how to feel, or wether it's a scheme to hurt his pride or not. he then peers down to your hand. a red solo cup. you became nicer when you're drunk, who would've thought.
"i wouldn't say that"
"wow, is NPD being humble right now?" you raised your eyebrow, laughing. your laugh was a lot cuter than he remembers, and his brain seemed to fog just at the sight of your smile. you ruffled his hair, beginning to take a few steps back. "holler if you need me!" you wink before disappearing into the crowd. his lip twitched into a frown, biting his cheek as he watched the body of people move to the song.
you were always sneaking your way around, flowing from place to place at your earliest convenience.
before keita could begin walking back toward you he felt a tap to his shoulder.
"another rugby dub!" he dabbed up sungchan with a grin.
"basketball dub too, i heard you guys won!" sungchan laughed, nodding in confirmation.
"it's all thanks to hanbin though, he's a madman in the court." keita suck in through his teeth, nodding wordlessly. hanbin, the hopelessly kind knight in shining armor who was equally as basketball as he was in academics.
every girl that's rejected keita has been because of him. and honestly, he couldn't blame them.
"speaking of him, i havent seen him anywhere."
"you've been looking for em?"
sungchan nodded, now glancing around in an attempt to scout for the other boy.
"it's cool, i'll find him for you. i gotta give him my own congrats anyways." keita patted sungchans arm, giving him a thumbs up. the basketball captain had always been sort of like a dad to keita and their whole friend group, so he almost always had shit to be worrying about in any social gathering. keita would be glad to take some weight off his shoulders, even if it was just trying to talk to one of his team mates. the sigh of relief sungchan let out only confirmed his suspicions, and the thumbs up of approval was all the confirmation he needed.
he could find you later, keita had a new temporary mission.
the first place he decided to check was the kitchen, where all the liquor was. if hanbin was there, score! if he wasn't there, he might as well get himself a drink.
keita shrugged, not caring much for the absence of the basketball player. oh well, more time to decide which drink he’d pour himself. he decided on the mystery beer in the jug, he trusted his team to make a good concoction! once he had it poured into his red solo cup, keita swiftly exited, spotting hanbin talking with someone right next to the kitchen.
he could only see the back of their head, but he wasn't paying much attention to notice it was you. all he noticed was the surprisingly casual outfit hanbin has on. his letterman was lazily open, showing his plain white tshirt. his baggy jeans were clinging onto his legs effortlessly and keita had to admit, hanbin looked ethereal even under the lights of the dance floor the next room over.
"hanbin!" he looked over, his eye smile subtly fading now that his conversation was interrupted. you turned you head around to see who called his name, giving keita a small wave when the two of you made eye contact.
of course you were here. you're always everywhere keita went. he couldn't escape you even if he tried, and the worst part is he's now realizing he doesn't want to escape. he *wants* you to be wherever he goes, and he wasn't sure how to process it.
"i heard you crushed it in the basketball game, nice man" keita nodded, taking a sip from his cup.
okay, note to self; don't trust your team again. he wanted to spit it out the moment he tried it. you noticed his reaction, gently taking the cup and taking a sip yourself before handing it back to him.
you now both shared the same expression. though the taste seemed to be a muted thought in keitas mind now. an indirect kiss? you? just indirectly kissed him?
"yeah well, it's all thanks to this one" hanbin laughed, gesturing to you. that seemed to sober keita up a bit, his curious eyes now bouncing between you two. you shyly laughed, giving a small wave of dismissal.
"after i saw you in the crowd i knew i couldn't embarrass myself" hanbin smiled with a shrug. so you went to the game? i mean, keita shouldn't be surprised. your friend was dating the captain, of course you'd be there.
he couldn't help but frown at hanbins comment, the eerie similarity to keitas mindset sending shivers down his spine. he hadn't processed that you could be motivation for anyone else. you *shouldnt* be. they'd only be getting their hopes up.
"i heard about you and had to see it for myself," you nodded
oh?
oh.
so he guesses they wouldn't be getting their hopes up after all. who was he kidding? it's sung hanbin we're talking about here. mr perfect, of course you'd be impressed by him.
"i didn't realize you guys were close"
"we watch your games together!" hanbin chimes.
it was weird, keita didn't remember mr perfect being this passive aggressive. he could barely get a word in before hanbin dismissed keita entirely to talk to you. sure, hanbin was probably into you, but did he have to act like that?
"its so crazy what you can do with your height, right y/n?" you gave hanbin an unsure look, nodding hesitantly.
okay, so keita wasn't overthinking.
"i mean, just look at you two next to each other! what is that, a 20 cm difference?" you frowned, pulling keita closer to you defensively.
in the beginning of the year, you probably would've laughed with hanbin, maybe even fueled the fire a bit. but things are different now. instead, it was hanbin giggling to himself. it was so odd, keita could've sworn hanbin was a nice dude with no mean bone in his body. and he could've sworn you were an asshole with no nice bone.
"i'm not that tall" you politely chuckled, trying to dismiss him. "she's 180" he added.
hanbin smiled meanly, the same way you did a couple months ago. "what? i thought keita was 160?"
you smiled, shaking your head firmly.
"he's 165."
"i didn't know knowing your friends heights were so important." he put his hands up defensively, no longer snickering. "does that mean you know how tall i am?"
your face softened, but your grip on keita didn't. he took another gulp of his drink, watching carefully.
"you look like your the same as me. 178?" hanbin nodded excitedly, giving you a high five.
"see, we really are friends then!"
keita was used to girls being into hanbin more than him. he was hardly surprised with how short tempered he was versus the patience hanbin always had. but for some reason, it seemed to sting a lot more with you.
maybe it's because you flirted with hanbin while holding onto keita. maybe it's because he was gonna confess tonight. maybe it's because he didn't think your type would be gentle guys like hanbin.
maybe it wasn't, and maybe that's why hanbin was being more callous than usual. so many maybes, it made keitas head hurt. he couldn't keep engaging in the conversation, he had to get out before he spiraled any further. he slide his way out your hold, making a lousy excuse before walking off with a sigh.
when he was finally alone, keita had a chance to catch his breath. he sat in a random hallway, the same one you and him had been in last time. the idea of you wanting hanbin instead was all he could think about.
it was worse than jealously. keita felt.. envious.
envious of the way hanbin could easily take any girl in the school, and he just happen to pick out you. envious of the way you seemed to replace him, going to the basketball games instead of his. and when you were at the rugby games, you weren't there for him. it was for hanbin.
envious of the fact that you two looked perfect together. envious of the fact that your relationship with hanbin didn't start out rocky.
and before he knew it, keita was crying. the beads rolled down his cheek slowly, and he didn't even bother to wipe it. instead, he just crouched down, pouring his face into his arms.
god was he pathetic. this was supposed to be the best night of his life and instead he was sobbing in the corner of a hallway. he had just won a rugby game, and the last one of the season! he should be having a cheers with jiung, a bright smile on his face. instead, he sat with a half full red solo cup filled with mystery liquor next to him. the only noise you could hear was it's soft fizz, and the muffled hiccups and sniffles.
"NPD?" your voice rang from the entrance of the hall, but keita didn't bother to look up. he's already ashamed of himself, he couldn't even begin to imagine how he'd feel if you saw him like this.
"NPD! where did he go.." you trailed off, your voice changing in volume because of proximity.
you took one last look around the narrow path, finally spotting him.
there he was, hunched over and shaking. you felt your heart shatter at the sight, he looked so.. fragile.
"kei.." you called to him softly.
he glanced up, holding his breath when you made eye contact.
hanbins letterman.
you were wearing it. he bit his lip to stop the whimper he almost let out. you began walking to him slowly. he began panicking, standing up and roughly smearing at his face as if you wouldn't find out he was crying.
once you had move closer to him, you firmly held onto both of his hands to stop the harsh scratching at his face. without saying a word, you replaced it with your own hands. your fingers were cold against his warm cheeks, sending shivers down his spine. you exhaled out, just barely grazing your thumb under his eye. the ghost touches were ticklish, but slowly he felt the tears stop pouring out from him eyes.
you breathed again. "nobody else should see you like this" you muttered, letting him go to search for a place somewhere more private. you were being.. scarily comforting right now. keita had a hard time processing that the same person who broke into his house was finding a place for him to cry without his reputation being shattered.
until you gripped his wrist, throwing him into the same room you did last time. nope. definitely the same person.
you dragged him like a rag doll onto the bed. and for the first time, he saw genuine anger in your eyes.
you had never once gotten mad in front of him before. annoyed, sure. unamused? all the time! but never irritated.
he watched silently as you began ripping the jacket off of yourself.
"that dick. making us seem like we're closer then we really are." you cursed out, just loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough that it was clearly an internal dialogue. "i mean, we just sit in the same area! i didnt even notice him there" you continued, rolling the sleeves off carelessly.
"and then he mocks you?? in front of me?" you approached the bed, crawling until you sat on keitas lap. you tightly gripped his chin, making him gulp. all the gentle ghost touches are long gone, and he's sure there'd be marks after tonight.
you lean closer to his face, the angry glint in your eyes.
"nobody calls you short except me." you said lowly, closing the gap between the two of you. keita yelped on surprise, gripping into your shoulders to sturdy himself.
so much was happening right now, it made the boys head spin in confusion.
so he decided it was easier not to think about it. the girl he likes is currently on top of him kissing him like a starved man. he hardly has room to complain.
he whimpered quietly when you pushed him backwards, making his back flat with the bed while you were hovering on top of him.
"wait- wait- too fast-" he breathes out, trying to catch his breath.
"you.." he pointed to you weakly, watching you heave on top of him. he then pointed to himself, uncertainty written all over his expression.
"like..me?" you nodded, as if this was blatant and he was an idiot for not realizing sooner. "i thought it was obvious when i kissed you in the exact same room."
keita blinked. you remembered?
"wait- i thought you forgot"
you tilted your head, the previously furious expression now replaced with slight annoyance at worst. "i wasnt *that* drunk npd"
"so you knew both of us liked each other.. and said nothing?" you shrugged "i was waiting for you to make the first move."
he blinked, his eyebrows furrowed. you're always so confusing, logic seems to be thrown out the window when it comes to you.
"i'm a girl y'know! we like it when guys are bold" you rolled your eyes, your arms now crossed. he laughed at how silly you were, tension he built up in his entire chest being released with his small chuckle. soon it went from a chuckle to a full hands clapping laugh. you look over at him, your face now red with embarrassment. "don't laugh!"
he seized his giggles on your command, his hands now coming into your shoulders. although his eyes were still puffy, you much preferred how he looked when he was happy.
"well, looks like you'd made the move now." he said with a grin, pulling you back down to hovering over him. his arms snuck their way around your neck, pulling you toward him one last time for one final kiss.
one without misunderstands. without confusion. one that finally seemed like a closing. everything was settled now, and there was no doubt in keitas mind.
you were made for him.
☆...★...☆...★...☆
you were talking with winter, your smile a lot brighter nowadays and your shoulders a lot more relaxed.
"what happened to the real y/n? what'd you do with her?"
you laughed at sungchan. "i'm not sure what you mean?" winter closes your locker for you, directing all your attention to them.
"see the real y/n i know wouldve said.."
she looked at sungchan, and as if they telepathically communicated, looked back to you and said in sync.
"he finally has a reason to be a narcissistic" the three of you laughed, though you were rolling your eyes at them.
before you had a chance to retort, keita had already approached the lockers. you routinely took a step back, letting him squat down to get to his lockers.
"i heard someone aced his test?"
"what! that was supposed to be a surprise!" he huffed, glaring at sungchan who innocently batted his eyelashes.
"i was thinking about getting you a treat. i realize it's a been since we've had date night anyways" you said with a shrug. he gave you a grin, taking his books out.
"just for a 100? if i knew i'd get a treat if study for every test.” he stood up, going on his tip toes to plant a kiss on your forehead.
"ew! cover my eyes" winter whined, taking sungchans hand and using it obscure her vision. earlier on the year, keita would've found it annoying, unbearable even, that she was so close with one of his closest friends. but after a *lot* of convincing from both you and sungchan, he can say he's content with seeing her more often now.
he had to say, it was more fun that they were both taken. even if it took him a little longer to finally seal the deal, it was all worth it in his book.
you ruffled his hair, turning back to him. okay, worth it unless you're doing *that*.
"that seems like our cue to leave, you think NPD?"
he frowned, taking your hand out his hair and intertwining it with his fingers instead. "we can have normal couple names y'know.." he whined.
you laughed, giving his hand a small squeeze. "what, don't you'd think it'd be weird for me to call you baby?"
"no! it's cute."
you blew a raspberry in disapproval, waving him off.
"NPD is more accurate, you're anything but a baby."
"even if i'm short?"
"i'll blame pops on that one" you laugh, walking with him to your next classes. he groans, giving you a middle finger.
"stop calling my dad pops!"
winter smiled, watching the two of you fade into the background. "she's grown up so much" sungchan grins, interlocking their hands. "c'mon mom, we're gonna be late" he laughs, escorting her the other way.
and for the first time since the school year started, you had walked to class without winter next to you.
#apollosdiary#boys planet#boys planet drabbles#boys planet imagines#kpop imagines#boys planet x reader#boys planet scenarios#boys planet icons#boys planet fluff#boys planet 999#bp99#live laugh love keita#boys planet keita#terazono keita#keita ciipher#ciipher#spotify
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songfic #1 - Captain Jack by Captain Jack
Okay, so. I've just had an idea of starting to write songfics and I'm going to a Captain Jack concert next month so I've been preparing for it by listening more to their music lol. Anyways, I wrote this on my phone, it's not proofread so please just ignore any mistakes you find lmao. I think I might even used the wrong pronouns for Aaron at some point in the fic i'm so sorry. It's just a lil' something i put together in like 10 minutes lol
Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader Warnings: heavy alcohol consumption word count: 1.3k
Hotch knew it was a bad idea to send y/n on an undercover mission to a Project X sized house party among teenagers, but she was the youngest therefore she could blend in the best. y/n indeed blended in perfectly, in fact, she did it too well.
The team knew who the unsub was and they also knew they would be at the party, so they thought it would be an easy and quick mission to finish; y/n goes in, spots the unsub then brings them outside where the team would wait for them.
“Oh God, there are a lot of people here, how will I find them?” y/n asked in a slightly panicked voice, she really didn’t like crowded places and the fact it was crowded with a bunch of horny teenagers, mostly boys, made her feel uneasy.
“Just take a look around, talk to people, it should be easy to spot our unsub.” Hotchner told her softly through her earpiece. He really wished he could be inside with her.
“Okay, I will need a minute, I’ll tell you if I find them.” y/n said and started going around the enormous house, slightly wincing at the blaring music now and then.
“I don’t think i’ve seen you around, are you new in the neighbourhood?” A boy smirked at y/n holding a beer. She smiled at him sweetly.
“Yes, I just moved here recently. One of my friends invited me, actually.” y/n hated small talks; one of the reasons she and Aaron got together later rather than sooner was because she wasn’t willing to make any small talk with the Chief. But in the end it worked out perfectly well for them and she couldn’t be happier about it. She wished she could just spend the night with Hotch, cuddling on their couch, watching some crappy movie on the TV.
“What are you drinking? I’ll bring it to you.” The boy smiled at her, looking at y/n’s body.
“Oh, nothing, but thank you.”
“Come on. You came to a party and you’re not drinking? What are you, 40 or something?” he laughed. Y/n was offended, she wasn’t even 30 yet. “I’ll bring you a surprise drink then, I guess.”
“That’s really not necessary.” y/n tried to protest but then Aaron’s voice caught her attention in her earpiece.
“Drink something. But be careful.” he told her. Anything to blend in.
Many, many drinks (which Hotch didn’t know about) and about an hour later the unsub left the party through the back door, thankfully Emily and Derek were there quickly to arrest them. With that, today’s job was done and they could finally go home, however when Aaron notified y/n about the situation, he didn’t really get the answer he was thinking he would get.
“There’s a bit of a problem I think.” y/n slurred, making Hotch sigh. She didn’t listen to him about consuming just a bit of alcohol, enough to blend in. y/n was drunk, not a little and Aaron knew he had to get inside to take her out of there.
“Are you okay, y/n? I’m going in to get you, where are you exactly?” he asked while making his way into the house.
Answer from y/n about her position wasn’t necessary because as he went into the house, she was in the middle of the room dancing with a lot of drunk and horny teenagers. He looked at his girlfriend then locked eyes with one of the boys next to y/n.
“Yo, who’s that old man there?” he asked the others and y/n head snapped to the direction where Aaron stood, eyes widening.
“Shit. Um, that’s my daddy, I actually sneaked out of the house. I think he’s here to get me and lock me in my bedroom forever.” she slurred laughing at her own lie.
Aaron made his way to y/n and grabbed her hand to take her out to the fresh air.
“Wait no! This is a really good song, can we wait until it ends? Pretty please!” she said, looking at him, praying with her hands. Aaron raised an eyebrow at her.
“Let’s just go outside, you can hear it there perfectly well y/n, come on.”
Aaron realized quickly that y/n being drunk was an understatement. She was wasted. Barely able to stand, let alone walk. He wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her outside.
“Forwarrrrrd, march!” y/n sang along as she in fact tried to march forward, only to fall face forward onto the muddy grass.
“Jesus, y/n!” Hotch tried to pick her up but she just flowed out of his hands like liquid. y/n laughed and after some time she stood up so they could actually start walking out of the party. She tried to dance to the music while walking but she was so intoxicated, it seemed like she had a serious seizure and Aaron couldn’t help but laugh at her girlfriend.
“Go left, go right, go left!” y/n shouted and took a step in the wrong direction, almost falling again but Hotch catched her successfully. It felt like a whole new mission to him. Rescuing Agent y/l/n out of a house party.
“Honey, that’s the wrong direction.” he said softly to her but she just continued to sing along, well it was more like one big slur.
“Hmmm the alcohol is free here, did you know that? This is my new favourite bar!” y/n said excitedly. They were almost out of the gates when she suddenly stopped holding up a finger.
“What? Are you sick?”
“Nooooo, Hotchy Potchy, I’m waiting for my part.” she babbled like a toddler, smiling wide.
“Your part?” Hotch furrowed his brows, having a really hard time understanding his own partner. Before y/n could answer him, she started singing again.
“Weee arrre running to the railroad trackkkk, run alonggg with Captain Jack!” the she abruptly stopped her singing and seemed to be thinking for a minute. Hotch didn’t say anything just waited patiently. “Actually, I haven’t seen Captain Jack in this party, so I don’t really know where i’m supposed to run.”
Aaron just laughed at her face; confusion mixed with a bit of sadness.
“Sweetheart. Let’s just run to the car okay?”
“Is Captain Jack in the car?” she looked at him squinting her eyes.
“Yes, he’s definitely there. Now come on.” he laughed, placing his hand on y/n’s waist, leading her out of the gates but she stopped again. Aaron sighed looking at her.
“Wait. I want a kiss first. I might be able to run faster if you kiss me.” she slurred and he just laughed and kissed her softly.
“What the fuck? You’re a freak! Why are you kissing your own father?” the boy from inside yelled at y/n and everyone else looked at them in disgust. y/n’s eyes widened as she took Aaron’s hand and started running outside to the car. They definitely just killed the party.
When Aaron helped y/n into the passenger seat, she seemed to forget about Captain Jack being in the car. Instead, when he got into the car and sped down the road y/n looked at him, deep in thought.
“Hmmm. It was a really good song, I just don’t know what those few foreign lines mean.” she said and looked out the window. He raised an eyebrow, he knew the song very well and he knew it didn’t have any lines that were not in English.
“Which lines do you mean?” he asked, unable to hide a smile.
“Deedado.” she said simply. Hotch just snorted.
“What?”
“Deedado, badeedado, badeedadeedadeedado. And then it’s half English. She sings badadadeedado, left right right left. I don’t know what it means.” y/n said confused.
“Love, I think you should close your eyes and relax until we get home. Then I'll put you into bed, okay?” Aaron said smiling looking at y/n who was already fighting sleep.
Eventually she fell asleep in the car and Aaron couldn’t wake her up when they got home so he just picked her up and placed her into their bed.
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds#aaron hotch fanfiction#Spotify
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Where do I begin ?
Songfic!
Alastor x Fem! Reader
Nav !
Note : For context, Alastor & the reader are the same age. Both born 1900. The last two digits of the year is basically their age.
Warnings: Mentions of Racism, Pinning ( mutual ), swearing, 1920’s - 1930’s, Warning: sexual assault, mentions of killing, cannibalism
tags: @littlebatsimagines
Song by : Shirley Bassey
━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━ ( scene changes )
Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be?
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start?
1913 : 8th Grade Lunch Date
“ He definitely likes you Y/n.” My friend says as we sit at the table eating our lunch. On one side of the field, are tables for the white kids. On the other side, are little spots of cement where the colored kids sit. In the middle, is a lot of grass, where there’s a large tree in the middle. Under said tree, is Alastor, the schools outcast, but one of the smartest kids out there. Alastor stuck out like a sore thumb, poor thing was never dark enough to sit with the colored kids, but the white kids never wanted anything to do with him because he was mixed.
White father, black mother. It was the talk of the town when his momma was pregnant. When he was born, it was all anyone would do. As time went on, he joined the local school, and studied hard. He didn’t have many friends, and everyone always stood away from him. Regardless, he always wore that lovely smile that his teachers praised him for. He was a good kid, just not with the right crowd.
“ I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like he does.” I said, before my friend rolled her eyes, taking her lunch out of her bag.
“ Well even if he doesn’t, best not talk to ‘em again. Y’know your daddy will have you at it if he finds out you been talking to a colored boy.” My friend says, giving me that ‘ don’t do nothing stupid’ look. At that , I stare over at him, watching him eating his lunch. Around him is a small blanket, napkins and forks and knives being used ad he eats his lunch, and I smile to myself as he enjoys his meal.
“ I know I know. I’ll be fine, and he will too. We just don’t need to talk to each other.” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“ Or you could give that fella a chance.” She said, before nodding her head over to one of the nearby tables.
Tommy, or also known as Thomas Vanguard. One of the richest white kids, despite our economy going down in flames.
“ Uh, I don’t really know.” I said, before she laughed.
“ Well too late, he’s already comin’ over.” She said, before my eyes widened. As I turned, I saw Tommy walking over. Oh please no. I was about to get up and walk away when I felt someone sit across from me on the bench. My friend and I turned in our seats to see who was there, it surely wasn’t Tommy.
Silence. The entire courtyard went silent.
Alastor was sitting at my table. Where all the white kids sat. Where colored kids couldn’t sit.
Until now.
“ AHH! Alastor sat at my table!” My lunch mate yelled, grabbing her lunch and running from our table. All the other kids gave the same reaction, running away to our fancy school building. I sat still, staring at him as everyone else ran away.
“ Hello.” I say, extending my hand out to shake. His eyes brightened, before he shook my hand eagerly. “ Momma says not to let people sit alone. “ I say, as I pick up my sandwich to continue eating.
“ Your momma sounds nice.” Alastor says, fixing his glasses. His skin is a caramel color, his brown hair swooped neatly to the sides and out of his face. His cheeks give a light blush, likely from the Louisiana heat.
“ I like to think she is. She can be mean sometimes though.” I say, chewing my food. Alastor smiles, before he continues his food as well. The lunch period goes smoothly from there out.
Even though the day after all the kids stood away from me because I was ‘dirty.’
Like a summer rain
That cools the pavement with a patent leather shine
He came into my life and made the living fine
And gave a meaning to this empty world of mine
He fills my heart
1915 : Highschool Newspaper
News: Black boys 12 and 13 lynched and hung at local park.
It’s all anyone’s talking about. Mainly because their brother’s been raging to the police since the whole thing happened. My best friend Mandy told me. Of course she would know, she’s his girlfriend. But no one knows.
It technically isn’t even allowed. A white girl with a black boy? It’s completely unheard of. But Mandy keeps it strictly secret. They’re never caught with one another, and even add extra arguments in public here and there to add some belief.
But I know it isn’t true. I also know that Alastor is gonna write an entire report down on it, and talk to me like if he’s one of those big fancy radio hosts I heart Tommy talk about during lunch.
“ My Daddy got my momma this cool radio, and it has this guy talking in it. It’s so cool, he sounds like a yankee.” Is usually what Tommy always says, and then he tells everyone what the radio guy says about the North.
━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━
“ Oh M’ so sorry miss.” I hear, as I bump into someone. I stumble back and blink, pulling myself out of my daze.
“ Oh no no it’s alright. I wasn’t really paying all that attention.” I say, bending down to grab my fallen books. The boy in front of me does the same, to help me.
“ Y/n?” I hear a few feet away from me. I turn my head to find my teacher.
“ Are my cheaters cheatin me or am I seeing a colored boy with one of my students?” She asked, clearly confused. I felt my blood race, before my books were shoved into my hands.
“ I was just going to the principals office miss. Please don’t mind me.” The boy said, before my teacher rolled her eyes at him.
“ If you people would’ve been raised better maybe I wouldn’t have a problem with you.” She said before pulling a cigarette out from her pocket and lighting it. The boy lowered his head before quickly squeezing between the two of us to get by.
“ M’ sorry Misses, really was my mistake.” He said quietly as he left. When he was gone, she blew out the smoke from her cigarette.
“ Now you listen to me girl, and you listen good.” She said, pointing at me. “ Stay away from those colored folk. You never gonna be on their level so don’t try to be. Now get to class.” She said.
Oh how my blood boiled.
He fills my heart with very special things
With angel's songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With him along who could be lonely?
I reach for his hand, it's always there
1917 : High school Dance
I don’t know if this is good enough. More importantly, I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to get into the dance without my parents finding out. Would they even let me into a colored folk dance? I don’t see why not.
“ Y/n are you ready to go?” Mandy asks me from my window. She’s hanging on for dear life while I scramble to find the lipstick I need. The lipstick he likes the most.
“ Yeah just a minute.” I said, going through my vanity as quietly as possible.
“ Aw, trynna get all dolled up for Al~?” She asked, wiggling her brows. I rolled my eyes and almost jumped out of my skin when I found the lipstick I needed.
“ Okay, let’s go.” I said, before she grinned. Off we were to the dance.
“ We made it!” Mandy said as she hugged her boyfriend, who despite having a rough year, was happy to be with her.
“ Thanks for comin’. Sure they won’t have a problem?” He asked Mandy, before she shook her head.
“ No they won’t. Right Y/n?” She asked, before I shrugged, looking around the courtyard for Alastor. The party for the colored kids had been in a more quiet side of town. But that didnt mean it was easy to find someone.
“ des fleurs pour la fille?” I heard, as flowers were placed in front of me. Red roses. Wrapped in a tight red ribbon, with white fabric holding it together.
“ I didn’t know you knew french.” I said, as my eyes widened, gently taking the flowers from his grasp. I was greeted with a kiss to my temple, and his hand resting on my lower back.
“ Of course. It’s in my mothers nature after all. I hope you do enjoy tonight.” Alastor said, before offering me his arm. I took hold of it and we began to walk to the party.
“ I love the flowers by the way, they’re beautifully wrapped.” I said, before he smiled.
“ Perfect. Saved up just enough." Alastor said with a wink.
" How much was it?" I asked, before Alastor laughed, pushing the door open to the run down barn, which was where the dance would be held.
" Oh don't worry about that dear, we're here to have fun not to worry about expenses." He said, before handing our tickets to a teacher, who eyed the both of us curiously.
" Honey you sure you in the right dance?" The woman asked, taking our tickets. I nodded with a smile, before Alastor led me to the dance floor.
It's two in the morning, and the street lights are dim. All the lights on the street are out, everyone's sleeping. The flowers are still in my hand, shoes in my other as Alastor and I walk down the street to my home, the dance ending after hours of fun.
" Did you enjoy yourself?" Alastor asks, before I nod, smiling wide.
" I've never had that much fun in my life. Thank you for letting me go." I say with a smile as we approach my front steps. I walk up the first few, as Alastor stands on the pavement. I turn, waiting for him to follow.
" Can I...?" He asks, gesturing to the steps. I nod, as he steps up to walk with me to my front door.
" I hate that things are like this." I say as we stop at my front door. Alastor smiles, a sad smile, as he fixes my hair.
" Things will get better. Promise." He said, before bending down to kiss my forehead. " I'll get a real fancy job, we'll get a nice house with a pretty little yard, and we can dance as much as you want." He said, smiling. I knew that smile, that smile that he gave when talking as if he was on the radio, or when he was talking about something good that had happened with his mother at work.
" You sure?" I ask, before he nods.
" Of course. We'll get away from here, far away. New Orleans, just us." He says, before he pulls me in for a hug. " Don't ever doubt it." Alastor says, before I hug him back, ignoring the teardrops that fall on my shoulder.
How long does it last? Can love be measured by the hours in a day? I have no answers now, but this much I can say I'm going to need him 'til the stars all burn away And he'll be there
1919: The first bite
Twelve stations. Twelve stations that said no to him. All giving the same answer.
" You think people gonna wanna hear a colored boy on the radio? You best be trynna trick me if you think for a second you comin' in here." Was what they would say, and every time Alastor would come home with that smile on his face, despite the break in his heart.
" Any luck?" I ask, as his mother sets his food on the table, which I hand him his glass of wine.
" No, not today." He says, before he cuts a piece of his steak. His mother and I share a look, pity of course, but she's also hurt.
" Baby those people don't know who they just said no too. You're a man full of talent." His mother says, reaching over to fix his hair. " Now you just keep trying, someone outta give you something." She said, before he just nodded, his smile faltering for a moment before he sighed.
" Thank you for the food.” He said, as he took his napkin and put it around his neck, tucking it into his shirt.
“ Of course honey.” His mother said, before she stood up. “ Oh I almost forgot.” She said, before walking out of the kitchen. I began to eat the food she made, while Alastor stared at the door in confusion.
“ How was work today dear?” Alastor asks, his usually smile appearing again. I smiled to him and took a sip of the wine.
“ It was alright, some people weren’t exactly happy with their food choices.” I said, as Alastor nodded.
“ I found it!” Alastor’s mother says as she comes back into the dining room. She smiles as she sets down a small box in front of Alastor.
“ You might wanna open it.” She said to Alastor, who stared at the box with a confused smile. He lifted the lid to the small box, before his eyes widened.
“ What’s this?” He asked, before she smiled and took her seat.
“ It was your grandmothers. I found it this morning.” She said, before he smiled. Alastor looked up at me, before turning the box to face me. Inside was a ring, a gold ring with a ruby in the middle, surrounded by little diamonds.
“ She took it from a family she was working for. Her contract was up but they hadn’t given her half of what they promised. So she took that as compensation. She really meant to sell it but she liked it so much she kept it.” His mother explained, before Alastor turned the box so he could look at it again. “ Well? What do you think?” His mother asks, before he turns to look at her. The two exchange a look I can’t quite place, but he shuts the box and puts it in his mothers hand.
“ It’s beautiful.” He said, before smiling to her, and then looking at me with a smile.
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“ Y/n, someone’s here to see you.” Mandy called to me, before I took my apron off. Working at the towns diner was not an easy job. But I was finally on my break.
“ Comin’” I said, before I pushed the door that led from the kitchen to the restaurant, walking around tables and people. “ Someone needed me?” I asked, as I approached the front desk, before Mandy pointed to the door. I turned around to see Alastor, standing there with a bouquet of flowers.
“ Oh, Alastor these are beautiful.” I say, walking over to him as he smiled. When I do reach him, he bends down to give me a kiss, before handing me the flowers. There are all sorts of flowers in the bouqet, some Asters, Carnations, Roses of course, Camellia’s, a few Calla Lily’s.
“ I'm taking you out for lunch.” He said, tapping the edge of my nose. Quickly, he helped me put my jacket on, and off we were to have a lovely lunch together, where I later found out, he had finally gotten a shot to have his own radio studio.
1922: Consequences
It all happened so fast. There was nothing I could do to stop him, to stop it from happening. One moment I had been in the bathroom at work and the next I'm on the floor in tears trying to get Tommy off me. Yet nothing worked.
" Mandy I don't feel so good. I'm going home." I say, grabbing as Tommy grins at me from his table with his friends. Mandy looks at me concerned before she just nods silently.
" Feel better Y/n." Mandy says, but it's too late. I'm already pushing the glass doors and out I am onto the sidewalk of the busy street walking myself home as quickly as possible. My legs are shaky, and I can barely breathe as I open my front door, and shut it behind me. I couldn't stop thinking about it, about what he'd done to me. I kick my heels off, sobbing as I throw my jacket to the ground, letting my hair down and making my way towards my bedroom.
How dare he? How dare he do this to me? Why couldn't I stop him? Why didn't I do something? Why didn't I say something? I should've fought back harder, done something, been stronger. I turn and shut the door to my bedroom, before finding a corner near my window to curl up in, hugging my knees to my chest as I feel myself collapse on the ground, the only thing I can think of being Tommy's words.
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( Events before leaving )
" If you were with me, you wouldn't need to work in this shitty diner." Tommy said, before I hear a click. I look up, staring at Tommy in the mirror.
" I actually like working here thank you very much." I say, before I move to dry my hands with a towel from my apron. Quickly, his hand grabs my shoulder to turn me around, before his hand is cupping the bottom of my chin, squeezing the sides of my face. He's angry.
" Don't give me an attitude bitch. Word's been flying 'round you been with that mixed guy. How's he treatin' ya' huh? Bet he beats you,-" Tommy said, before shoving my face to the side so hard I fall to the ground, putting my hands out to support me. No lunch, my wrist breaks. I cry out in pain, before Tommy grabs my hair to pull be up just enough to see my face.
" What? Not used to it? Those colored folk's aint got nothing better to do than beat their women. You ain't nothing special." He said, before he slapped me. I pushed myself up with my other arm, trying to hit him back, before his knee came in contact with my stomach, airing me out. " Now you just sit there and look pretty while I show you how a real man feels. Maybe then you'll get your senses straight, 'stead of bein' dirty." And then it happened. Bottoms torn off my legs, no matter how hard I kicked or tried to hit him, nothing. I couldn't do a damn thing. All while he had his way with me. Stupid son of a bitch.
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( author's POV )
Alastor opens the front door, sighing as he takes a step into his home, finally done with the day he had at work. It only when he steps on Y/n's jacket, that he realizes something is wrong. He takes a moment to stop, staying quiet. He hears something, and when he finally realizes what it is.
He. Is. Livid.
Alastor sets his belongings down on a nearby table, before he makes his way upstairs, as calm as he can possibly be. The closer he gets, the louder Y/n's sobs are.
" Darling? Are you alright?" Alastor asks, approaching their bedroom door. No response. But the sobs don't stop. He frowns, his body beginning to shake, his nerves getting the best of him. " I'm going to open the door." Alastor says, waiting a moment for a response, before he turns the handle to the door. He looks around for a moment, before he spots her sitting near the window, on the floor in the corner. She's holding the curtain in her hand, her face stuffed into it as she sobs. Alastor begins slow, walking towards her, studying her frame. It's only when he notices the harsh color of her wrist that alarms begin to go off in his mind. He kneels down, now in front of Y/n, before he speaks again.
" Y/n?" He asks. No response, just sobs. " Dear what happened?" He asks. At that, Y/n lifts her head to stare at him. It's then Alastor realizes that whatever did happen, was very serious. Alastor doesn't speak as his hands reach for Y/n's arms, slowly pulling her as he stands, before he brings her in for a hug. " Whenever your ready, I'm here to listen." Alastor said, before he felt Y/n's hand hold onto his side.
" It was e-earlier." Y/n said between breaths, obviously struggling to speak. Alastor pulled back and stared down at her, before he saw how red her neck was. Not just red though, there were hickie's. All over her neck, and a large hand print in the middle. Like if she was being choked. The sides of her face were bruised, harsh black and blues appearing on her skin. As Alastor continued to take her state in, he saw bruises on her arms as well.
" Who did this to you?" He asked, stern. She stared, unsure of what to say. There was this look on his face she couldn't describe. His aura grew darker the longer she took to answer, as Alastor began to trace over the marks on her skin with his fingertips lightly. It had taken her a second to register what he was doing.
He was securing it. Like reassuring himself they were real, that this, what was happening, was real.
" Y/n, Dear, who did this to you?" He asked again, losing his patience. His mind was running through all sorts of things, his mind focused on the amount of rage he felt.
" ... Tommy."
That was it. Y/n stood, unsure of what to do as she watched Alastor frame shake, like a shiver. As if he was cold. He wasn't. His skin was burning hot, and as he pulled Y/n into a hug she could feel the anger seeping off of him as she cried into his chest.
" Alastor I'm so so so sorry. I tried to stop him, I really did." She said, before she pulled away from him as Alastor looked down at her, shaking his head.
" Don't be sorry. This isn't your fault. He is disgusting, and you are beautiful. He wanted to ruin you, and you didn't let him." Alastor said, wiping away the tears that continued to fall from her eyes. " How did this happen?" He asks, his tone softer now as he pulled Y/n to sit on the bed as he walked towards their bathroom. Her wrist was swollen, Alastor had pretty much guessed it was either sprained or broken. Either way, Tommy was definitely going to be his next victim.
" Your arm dear." Alastor said, as he sat back down next to Y/n, an ice pack in one hand while wrapping her wrist with the other. " Now, tell me how it started." Alastor said, before Y/n took a deep breath before she began explaining.
" I had went to the restroom at work, some customer had spilled water on me, it was an accident though. I was washing my hands, and when I looked up in the mirror I saw Tommy there. He locked the door to the bathroom and started talking. He said something about me being with him and if I was I wouldn't have to work in that diner." Y/n said, before Alastor let out a 'mhm', signaling her to continue.
" I told him I actually liked working there, and he grabbed my face and told me not to disrespect him. He called me a bitch." Y/n said, before Alastor looked at her, stopping his motions.
".. continue." He said, before moving to press the ice pack to her wrist.
" T-then, he said that word had been goin' 'round that I was with a, as he put it, 'mixed guy', and then asked how that was going for me. Then he said he bets you beat me, and then he pushed me to the floor. That's how I hurt my wrist." She explained, before Alastor nodded at her to continue, moving to check for any cuts he might need to treat on her. " After he did that he was all like, 'What? Not used to it?' and then he said colored folks don't have anything better to do than beat their women. Then he said I wasn't anything special, and he told me to sit there and just look pretty while he showed me what a feels like. He said maybe then I would get my senses straight and stop being dirty..." Y/n said, leaving out the portion of him airing her out, to not get Alastor upset.
Alastor was silent for a moment. His mind mulling over the information he had just been given. Y/n had assumed he'd been calm enough to receive the extra information.
" While I was on the ground, he also hit me, with his knee... in my stomach..." Y/n said, nervous of Alastor's reaction. He didn't say much. He was quiet.
" I'll have a talk with him tomorrow. Take the rest of this week off, I want you here, and if you go out I want you with someone so you aren't alone. You need medical help right now, I'll talk to my mother since she isn't far." Alastor said, as he stood up, quickly putting things away.
" W-wait, can't we talk about this first? I don't want him to get in trouble he might try to hurt you-"
" Y/n, I don't give a damn about what he wants to do to me! It's the fact he's gotten to you, he's hurt you, and I wasn't there to stop him. No one was!" Alastor said, stopping in front of the bed. He was upset, so much so that a tear fell from his eye, before he wiped it away. Y/n stood from the bed, but never moved to Alastor.
" I can heal from this, we can move on. I just don't want this to be a big thing." Y/n said, before Alastor stood quiet.
" It won't be. Just, let me deal with it. Stay here, relax." Alastor said walking over to Y/n to run his hands down the sides of her arms. " I promise I won't make this a big ordeal. My mother should be by shortly after I speak wit her. Until then, get yourself comfortable, be careful with your write, and wait for me to get back, alright?" Alastor asked, before Y/n nodded.
" Alright. I love you." Y/n said, looking up at Alastor, waiting for him to say it back.
" I love you too darling."
1923: Fresh Start in the French Quarter
Tommy had opened his big mouth to the entire town about Alastor and Y/n's relationship. The entire town had shunned the both of them for it, Y/n's parents officially cutting her off for good, their suspicions being correct. After that christmas, Alastor and Y/n had began to take trips to New Orleans regularly, looking for a house to by. Alastor had gotten a better job, with much higher pay. Alastor had let Y/n choose whatever house she wanted, and when she finally settled on one, he also made sure to higher movers, and of course there's the paint job and furniture.
Though the cost was something Alastor would never allow her to see, the house made her happy, and that was more than enough for him. As he had told her, " Whatever my love wants, my love gets."
The neighborhood was nice, a lot of land was also nice too, aside from the grass growing extremely fast, but the man who would mow the lawn every week was nice so there was a plus. Y/n didn't need to work anymore, since Alastor made enough for the both of them to live comfortably. The lifestyle the two had changed over too had went from simple and comfortable, just barely making it by, to lavish and extravagant.
Since moving to New Orleans people had been kinder to the two of you. As well as the two of you getting married. It was a small wedding, consisting of Alastor's mother, Mandy and her husband Clarence. A few coworkers, Alastor's uncle who was just happy to be there. The people from his mother's church who had a great time at the afterparty.
Alastor never did tell you what he did to Tommy, but that was alright. He wasn't your problem anymore.
He fills my heart with very special things With angels' songs, with wild imaginings He fills my soul with so much love That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely With him along, who could be lonely? I reach for his hand, it's always there
1925: the first letter
(Y/n's POV )
" Honey could you get the mail for me? Hand's are all covered in dirt." Alastor said, before I nodded. I had walked to the front of the lawn to open our mailbox, pulling the papers out.
"Hm. Bills, bills, more bills, bills, and, a letter?" I stop. It's addressed to me. But the address is unfamiliar. I take the mail inside and walk to the dining room to open the letter. Alastor is in the mud room, removing the gardening equipment and dirt. I open the letter, before taking the pages out from inside. There's three pages, but all are covered in black ink. Except for the second page, with the words in the middle of the page reading.
Your Husband murdered the love of my life.
Silence. I don't know who this person is. I don't know where this letter is from. I don't know who this letter is from. They must have the wrong house. My husband would never kill anyone. As upset as he gets, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
" I think we can start on dinner now." Alastor said, as I slipped the letter back into the envelope.
" What do you wanna make tonight?" I ask as we both walk into the kitchen. Alastor moves to the freezer to grab out meat while I go through our cabinets to see what we have.
" Hm, what about Chili? Never hurt anyone, haven't had any in a while." He said, before I sighed.
" Chili is the worst thing to make though." I whine, before Alastor chuckles and sets the mean down on the island in the middle of the kitchen.
" Why don't we go out then? I get my chili, you don't need to help make it. How does that sound?" Alastor asks, before I smile.
" We can go see the band right?" I ask, before Alastor nods.
" If that's what you wanna do." He said with a grin, before I smiled and kissed his cheek.
" Get your dancin' shoes. Date night!" I say as I practically sprint out of the kitchen as Alastor laughs from his place in the kitchen.
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2 weeks later : Letter two
This letter is different. The first two pages are covered in black ink, the third page being the only one that has writing. It reads.
" I know you got my last letter. Your husband is a killer. Don't deny the truth." Right in the center of the page. My hands shake as I read it, before I shut the front door, locking it tight. I begin to walk around our house, the house we bought together. The house that we danced in together, cooked together, had gatherings together. Everything.
I came across his study, where I never really entered much, since I allowed it to be just him, his personal space. Like my own study, which was really more like a library since we had shared books in there. I opened the door, but never stepped in, curious as to what he would have hidden away. The door opens fully to reveal a minimalistic room. There are papers on his desk, a desk lamp, newspapers on the side, file cabinets, a radio, a journal. Wait, a journal? I never knew he had a journal.
I step into the room, making my way over to his desk, and reaching for the journal. I flip through the pages, skimming over the words, before something catches my eye.
Tommys name.
I continue to read, reading the journal and the pages that follow up until the very latest entry. I learn all sorts of things after reading this journal, and when I place it back down on the desk I want to run out of his study. But I don't. I put it down, exactly where I found it, and exit the room. Shutting the door tightly, and leaving the house all together. Just to walk. To clear my mind. After reading his journal I learn a number of things.
First, that Tommy is dead. Alastor killed him after Tommy assaulted me at work, and took the liberty of dismembering him and even cooking some of his intestines. Second, the meat that is stored in our freezer, the meat I've been eating for years, is from actual people. Their dead, cut up bodies are the things I've been preparing every night like it's the best thanksgiving turkey anyone's ever gonna eat. Third, his mother has been getting a good portion of his check every month. There isn't a problem with that, she's a lovely woman.
But, it was the most recent entry that made my spine tingle the most.
Alastor and I had never been intimate with one another. We both had our reasons, I had been saving it till marriage, but after Tommy I hadn't been comfortable with anyone ever potentially seeing me like that again, and Alastor had never tried so it just mutually never happened. There wasn’t an easy way to put it really, in some pages of the journal he had stated he wanted to show me how to kill, to take me with him for these murders. That it would get him, excited, to think about.
I guess this is the part where I call the cops. Tell them my husband is a cruel heartless killer, that he stores remains of these dead bodies in our freezer for us to eat.
But I won’t. I can’t. Because despite knowing all this. I still love him.
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That night: Dinner
( Author’s POV )
“ Dinner is served.” Y/n says, placing Alastor’s plate of food in front of him. He smiles as she leans down to kiss him on the cheek, fixing his handkerchief around his neck. She moves to her seat, across from him, and situates herself. Immediately, he begins to dig in, cutting away at the meat with a bloodlust look in his eye she had never noticed up until now.
“ I hope you enjoy it. Took a long time to season it properly.” Y/n said, as she began to eat as well, never once touching the meat on her plate.
“ Really? Did we not have enough spices? I can run out tomorrow and get some more if you need some.” Alastor said, before taking another bite out of his food.
“ No, we had enough spices. I just wanted to season it enough so I’m not distracted by the fact it’s from a human.” Y/n says, before putting a spoonful of food in her mouth. Alastor stops, frozen as if she was crazy. He’s silent, they both are. Alastor sits there tense, expecting police officers to round the corner of his home, he thinks this is it for him.
“ What are you talking about?” Alastor asks, before Y/n looks up at him from her seat.
“ I found your journal.” Y/n says.
“ You went into my study?” Alastor asks, trying hard to mask the annoyance in his voice. He fails.
“ Yes. I’ll tell you why.” Y/n says, before she pulls out two envelopes from behind her, tossing it towards Alastor as it slides across the table to him. He stares at them curiously, before he reaches forward to open it.
“ When did you get these?” Alastor said, losing his usual smile.
“ I got the first letter maybe, two weeks ago.” Y/n says, before Alastor’s eyes flicker to her’s for a second, before back down to the letters. “ I got the second one today. I’m sure there’s going to be a third.” Y/n says, not failing to notice Alastor’s grip on his knife tighten.
“ Why didn’t you tell me about this?” He asks, sternly.
“ I didn’t believe them. There was no reason to tell you if I didn’t believe it.” Y/n said, standing from her seat.
“ Y/n, did you… tell anyone?” Alastor asks, his eyes pleading with her. As if he was sorry. She knew he wasn’t.
“ Don’t look at me like that .” Y/n said, the pain in her voice obvious.
“ Did you?” He asks.
“ No. I didn’t.”
Silence. Neither one of them say a thing. Alastor stands from his seat, putting his knife down.
“ Do you hate me?” Alastor asks, refusing to look at her now. No response.
Y/n isn’t sure what to do. She’d figured he’d kill her by now.
“ Do you still love me?” Alastor asked, and the crack in his voice didn’t go unnoticed. Y/n hadn’t even realized she had started crying, and he was too. No response.
Alastor didn’t say anything after that. He left the letters on the table, before he exited the dining room. Y/n sighed, letting the tears fall. Y/n also exited the dining room, not sure where he could have gone. The house was huge, big enough to get lost in. Room by room, Y/n checked for him, now desperately trying to fix her mistake.
When Y/n made it to their bedroom, she found money sitting on their bed, all of his belongings gone. Was he leaving? Now the panic had set in.
“ Alastor!” Y/n called, running through the halls, checking for him where ever she could. practically jumping down the stairs when she saw him at the front door.
“ Alastor where are you going?” Y/n asked, panting wildly. Alastor didn’t answer. “ Alastor please.” Y/n said, before Alastor took his coat off it’s hanger.
“Y/n please, stop.” He said, pinching the bridge of his nose, his glasses moving upwards slightly.
“ No. Don’t you dare tell me to stop.” Y/n said, before she began to walk down the stairs.
“ Yes dear.” Alastor said, allowing her to continue, because he knew she would.
“ I don’t want your money.” She said, putting it on one of his suitcases. “ I don’t care about that. For Christ’s sake I don’t care about our house, or our cars or anything!” Y/n said, crying again. Alastor frowned.
“ Then what do you care about?” Alastor asked.
“ You! I care about you Alastor! Not the stupid front you put up, no, I care about you! Even if you are a killer, so be it I don’t care!” Y/n said, before she moved closer to him before reaching into his pocket. She was right, there it was. The knife he wrote about. The one he always had with him. She also knew he had one strapped to him under his shirt, on his arm. “ If you think I don’t care then shut me up.” Y/n said, putting the knife between the two of them.
“ Are you asking me to kill you?” Alastor asked, confused.
“ No. I’m telling you if you don’t like what I’m saying, or don’t think it’s real. Shut. Me. Up.” She said, putting the knife to his chest.
“ I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” Alastor said, head hanging low.
“ I do. I do love you.” Y/n said, as the knife fell to the ground. Y/n hugged him, and he hugged her back with just as much force, if not more, than she did. “ I will always love you.” Y/n said, gently running her fingers down his back.
“ You wont tell anyone right?” Alastor asked, before Y/n shook her head.
“ No, not ever. I promise.” Y/n said. “ Thank you.” She told him.
“ For what?” Alastor asked, mind going blank for a moment.
“ Getting rid of Tommy.” She said.
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1932: ‘Till death do we part
She knew she could’ve told the police. She knew she should’ve. But she didn’t have the heart to tell.
Even as she watched every night, accompanied Alastor on his hunts, as he liked to call it, she still loved him.
Even when they were both all bloody, screams of a victim trying to get away, you could still feel the love between them. As odd as it may sound.
But neither one of them cared. Even when Alastor had gotten caught, when he died, she still loved him even in death. Everyone had assumed she’d taken her own life because she was devastes over him being a killer.
Oh no. They couldn’t be more wrong.
She died because she couldn’t live without him. Even in their final moments together, the only thing either cared about, was each other.
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1935: Caught
Despite them both being dead, it was only in 1935 that Y/n had finally been caught as his accomplice. Police had went through their entire house, searching through their personal items, bibles, food. Asking the help of their co-workers, house keepers, friends, family. Anyone, if they had any suspicions.
Now, they’re graves lay near one another, flowers being brought every few weeks by only Alastor’s mother, who still loved them both dearly.
“ I always knew he was a troubled child I just, thought it was because of the kids at school, and the stress of the finances.” Alastor’s mother told the police.
“ What about Y/n?” The officer asked, before his mother shook her head.
“ Oh no. She was always such a sweet girl. I never would’ve thought she would do something like that. I always knew she loved my son, but I never thought they would do that.” His mother confessed.
“ Do you have an idea as to why Alastor took the fall for the whole thing? I mean, he could’ve easily put it on Y/n when he found out the we would be searching for him.” The officer said before Alastor’s mother sighed.
“ Well, my son was in love with her, goodness. That boy would go on and on for hours about her if he could. He probably didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.” His mother said.
“ Do you think if he would have had too, he would’ve sacrificed himself for her?” The officer asked.
“ Oh yes. Of course. He would do anything he needed too to keep her safe. Why do you think he killed Tommy? He beat Y/n.” Alastor’s mother said, before the officer went silent.
“ So your saying, Alastor killed for her?” The officer asked.
“ Well, I don’t know if that’s exactly why. But I could assume so. She knew all the victims, and he’d tell me how much she’d dislike them. He was clearly trying to make her happy.” His mother said. The officer nodded, writing everything down. Now it all made sense.
How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need him 'til the stars all burn away
And he'll be there
#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin charlie#hazbin vaggie#hazbin demon#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel rosie#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor x reader#helluvaxhazbin#helluva octavia#helluva boss x reader#helluva stolas#hazbin hotel helluva boss#helluva millie#helluva boss#1920svintage#1920s au#serial killer#yandere#yandere alastor#yandere hazbin hotel#yandere helluva boss#alastor the radio demon
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KNOW IT ALL x THE BAND CAMINO
part 2
a calum hood songfic
read part 1
Calum didn’t want Tillie to be all he thought about, but she was. She littered his social media feeds, his camera roll, his playlists, his conversations… she was literally everywhere. Fuck, she somehow managed to be at nearly every party or event that he went to.
Tonight was no exception.
It was the night of the VMAs, an event both he and Tillie had been to before. They’d never been to it together, but then again, they had never actually been together. He hadn’t seen her intentionally in over a year. Their only interactions had been awkward, fleeting glances from across a crowded room or merely scrolling past photos of each other on Twitter or Instagram.
He knew she’d be here tonight. She just released a new single — a collaboration with The 1975 — and her sophomore album was up for a handful of awards. It was a great PR opportunity and surely she’d win something, so of course she would show up to an important event in the music industry.
He didn’t expect that she would be right next to his band on the red carpet where he could practically smell her. Tillie’s scent always brought memories flooding back. It was a mix of marijuana, Valentino Born in Roma Intense perfume, and, oddly, garlic. She always smelled like garlic. And he loved it.
He loved her.
The weird smell was just the tip of the iceberg for his discomfort. Not only was Tillie there, right next to them, but she had also brought a date. He knew she was dating someone new; the information was everywhere and he’d heard about him via Michael, who’d met him on a few occasions that Calum could barely stand to listen to stories about. The jealousy was gnawing at his stomach and threatened to creep up his throat.
She looked hot. She always did, but she put extra time into her appearance tonight and it paid off. She had chunky glitter highlighting the inner corners of her eyes, something she always did when she wanted a little extra spice for a special occasion.
Tillie was wearing an oversized white button up shirt that could’ve come from her date’s closet for all Calum knew, and the hint of a hem from a tiny black mini skirt peeked out the bottom of it. Her short legs were elongated by a pair of high heeled, knee high boots. In lieu of a tie, she wore a large satin bow on her collar that matched her bright red lipstick. Her long, currently black hair was straightened and tied back in a half updo, a matching red bow knotted around the ponytail.
He could tell that she wasn’t wearing a bra, and that, coupled with her plush red lips and exposed thighs, had his mouth going dry. She hadn’t even glanced at him and he’s already sweating at being so close to her again.
Her date, some ridiculously tall guy that plays for some basketball team somewhere in the country, matches her outfit with a nearly identical shirt, a red bow around his neck, but he’s wearing dark slacks that are patchworked from a mix of fabrics, some pinstriped, some dark gray, some black, and a few pops of navy blue, with platform Doc Martens on his feet.
Tillie dressed him, and he’s sure of it, and he’s jealous. He knows he is and he’s not in denial about it. He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s staring at her, either. He’s totally zoned out of the interview he’s currently a part of until Michael says Tillie’s name.
“I know that I’m stoked to see Tillie’s performance tonight,” Michael says, reminding Calum that Tillie will be performing her new single tonight.
The interviewer seems almost too excited at the mention of the petite girl standing a maximum of 10 feet away. “Understandable, I’m excited too! You guys and Tillie go way back, right? She opened for you a few years ago. Are you all still good friends?”
Calum clenches his jaw in frustration, breaking his gaze from being focused on Tillie to now staring at his own feet. He’s wearing Docs tonight, too.
“Oh, yeah, we love Tills. She actually helped write some of my new solo stuff that’s been in the works for a while,” Ashton says.
“She comes over to my house a few times a month unannounced,” Michael mentions with laughter.
“And how do you feel about that?” The interviewer asks. Once more, they seem almost too eager about the information the boys are giving.
“Like Ash said, we love her. She’s usually coming over to hang with the dogs and to binge some reality show with my wife or to challenge me to a Guitar Hero duel,” Michael says. “She has her own key. She’s totally welcome whenever she wants.”
“Why don’t we invite her to join your interview! A reunion of old friends. Looks like she’s on deck to be our next guest anyways,” the interviewer waves at Tillie and her new man to join the band. Tillie lights up when she realizes who’s next to her.
“Oh my god, if it isn’t my four little boys!” She cheers, scurrying over to wrap herself around Michael, squeezing between him and Luke. Her boyfriend — or whatever she’s calling him — stands off to the side, looking mildly uncomfortable due to being left out suddenly.
“Hi mum,” Michael says, grinning down at one of his very best friends.
“Tillie, thanks for coming over,” the interviewer says. She looks very excited by the fact that two artists are engaging on her account. It’s always great for engagement when artists and celebrities interact and she knows her boss will be pleased later on.
“Of course! I’ll take any excuse to see these dorks.”
“The boys have said they’re excited for your performance later. Any sneak peeks about what it’ll look like? It’s your first time performing it live, right?”
Tillie grins. She’s proud of herself. She’s always loved doing collabs, but The 1975 has seemed like an unattainable one until she ran into them at a festival a few months ago and she hung out with them for the day. Between all the alcohol the two parties consumed and Tillie’s loud, unfiltered nature, she brought it up and the band was instantly on board.
“Yes, it’s the first time,” she starts. “But, no sneak peeks! You know me better than to give that info away early, Angela!”
“Boys, is this your first time meeting Nick?” Angela asks. Calum has to hold back a snort as he learns the guy’s name. Of course, he has some douchey name like Nick.
“Mike got to meet him a few weeks ago, but the rest of them haven’t yet,” Tillie answers.
You haven’t spoken to me in a year, Calum thinks. Of course I haven’t met him.
“Michael, do you approve?”
Mike laughs. “No pressure, he’s only right there,” he says and motions to the tall man who’s standing about two meters away from them. “But yeah, I think he’s great. He and Matilda here are great together.”
Tillie glares at the mention of her full name and digs her elbow into Michael’s rib cage, making him glare back at her.
“So Tillie, your album just dropped. And boys, you’ve got one on the way, right?”
“Yeah, we’re stoked,” Luke says with a lopsided grin.
“You’re also performing tonight. Do I get any sneak peeks from you?”
“Think we’re gonna have to follow Tillie’s lead and say no sneak peeks, sorry!” Ashton apologizes.
“Well, I can’t wait to see what the five of you get up to on the stage. Thanks for chatting, but I think we’re out of time now.” Angela’s camera man gives her a signal that must mean that she’s low on time.
“Thanks for having us, Angie. Hope you enjoy the show,” Tillie says while offering her mischievous smile that has haunted Calum for far too long.
As the five of them step out of the camera’s frame, Tillie goes straight for Nick, craning her neck to stare up at him. He doesn’t even bat an eye before he bends down to kiss her. Calum is shocked that she lets him. She’s wearing red lipstick, which, when he and Tillie were whatever they were, she never let him do.
Ashton comes up behind Calum and smacks him between his shoulder blades. “C’mon, let’s go inside. I’m sure we can find more friendly faces to mingle with besides your old situationship and her new man.”
Calum grits his teeth and narrows his eyes at Ashton, but doesn’t say anything. He starts walking toward the entrance, grateful that that was their last press interview before the show itself starts.
Calum heads straight for the bar, ordering a whiskey on the rocks to sip on. He needs something strong if he’s going to be in the same room as Tillie for the whole night. While his bandmates chat with some of their long term industry friends and stop to chat with a few non-famous audience members, he sulks and sips his whiskey, sitting in his seat by himself.
His eyes are glued on a certain black-haired woman that he despises his love for. He wishes he didn’t love her, but how could he not? Even now, he’s watching her be the sarcastic, dry-humored girl that won him over years ago. She’s flirting and teasing, and he can tell by the look in her eyes that he could see a mile away. Her lips are tugged to the side while she smirks at whatever she’s saying, reaching out and touching the arms of none other than Maisie Peters and Taylor Swift, the three of them all giggling together. Nick is a few steps behind her, chatting with Niall Horan.
He almost wishes Nick could see him stare at his girl. He wants Nick to go to Tillie later and ask what the deal is with Calum. He wants him to have to feel uncomfortable about him, for some reason. Tillie is the only girl he’s ever really loved, and he thought that she felt similarly, but the fact that she never said she loved him echoes and flashes and ricochets around his brain all the time. He hates it but it’s true. She never said those three words that his heart ached to hear.
He wonders how long it will be before Tillie drops Nick. She’d dated a long list of people in the span of time that’s passed since Tillie cut off their… whatever you want to call their arrangement. The tabloids have shown her disheveled, doing what some would call a walk of shame every few weeks, blurry paparazzi photos from random dates and kissing a number of different people in dark corners of bars and clubs.
Michael comes to sit next to Calum after he’s chatted with a few fellow musicians and random actors who were invited.
“You good?” Michael asks, even though he knows what’s going through Calum’s head. He’s just trying to show he cares.
“Fucking fantastic,” Calum mutters at a volume that’s nearly a whisper.
Tillie is laughing at something Taylor said and is nearly doubled over. He used to love that she was such a people person and so easy to get along with. She’d never met a stranger, although she repelled some people with her deprecating humor that could easily offend anyone who was too sensitive. Now, he hates that she’s able to laugh with practically anyone except for him.
“Cal, she’s happy. Isn’t that what you want?” Mike asks.
No, Calum thinks. I want her.
Calum sighs frustratedly, his eyes still trained on the tiny woman he used to have latched to him for hours at a time. She was a touchy feely person, and he missed her touch as much as he missed her smile.
“What does that numbskull have that I don’t?” Cal sighs, his gaze moving to stare at Nick. He’s not laughing like Tillie. He’s just nodding along to the conversation he’s in with Niall and Blake Shelton who appeared out of nowhere.
Michael huffs. “This is Tillie we’re talking about, dude. I odn’t know. She wants what she wants and does exactly what she wants when she wants to. She’s happy. They’re talking about moving in together.”
Cal huffs. “She’s happy. Whatever the fuck that means.”
“If you give any ounce of a shit about her, you should be happy for her. Stop focusing on yourself.”
“We were happy. She left me, saying she needed time and space. Next thing I know she’s wrapped around some other girl. She can’t stand to be alone.”
Michael chuckles. “Yeah, because you’re so great at being alone. Don’t act like you haven’t been fucking anything with legs that looks even remotely like her.”
read part 3
my masterlist! :)
#5sos#5 seconds of summer#luke hemmings#calum hood#ashton irwin#michael clifford#fanfiction#fanfic#5sosfam#imagine#calum fic#calum 5sos#calum imagine#songfic#calum x ofc#calum x fem!oc#know it all#the band camino
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Writing Game: Songfic Speedruns!
i came up with a weird new writing game today kinda inspired by all the spotify wrapped writing games ppl are doing! if anyone wants to join in on this absolutely feel free!! (and tag me if you want!)
How it Goes:
shuffle a playlist, click a youtube mix, whatever you want to get some songs in a random-ish order (playlists/mixes of a specific theme will be easier, but completely random songs would be very funny)
pull up a document and glance at the songs you have to work with (or dont!)
hit play and write according to/inspired by the song that is currently playing! when the song ends, try and make whatever happens next fit the next song!
keep going until you feel like ending it! you can edit a little afterwards but no scene overhauls
Optional: post what you wrote and the songs (in order) that inspired it!
I'll be posting my attempt i just did ✨here✨ (assuming people are more likely to skip over these than a ficlet). I had a ton of fun with this particularly towards the end, just writing and not worrying about it being good or even decent. Even if you dont want to share, its a great practice or warm up to just get things moving!!
#fic writing#writing game#can be original fiction or fanfic i just defaulted to fanfic hjasuklfh#writing practice#devon thinks sometimes
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Marauders Era Songfics
These will be a mix of ships and reader insert fics, depending on the song and my mood. All based on Taylor Swift Songs, in order below the break. I'll link them once I post them.
Debut:
Our Song
Fearless:
Hey Stephen
Love Story
The Way I Loved You
The Other Side of the Door
Speak Now:
Back to December
Sparks Fly - poly!marauders x reader
Enchanted
Red:
Treacherous - Sirius x Reader
I Bet You Think About Me
1989:
Blank Space
Style
I Wish You Would
How You Get the Girl
Slut! - Sirius x Remus x Reader
Now That We Don't Talk
Suburban Legends
Reputation:
Don't Blame Me
Delicate
Gorgeous
Dress
Call it What You Want - James x Reader
Lover:
Cruel Summer
The Archer
I Think He Knows
Death by a Thousand Cuts - Remus x Reader
Folklore:
Exile
Seven
Betty - Remus x Sirius x Reader
The Lakes
Evermore:
Ivy
Marjorie
Tis the Damn Season
Midnights:
Midnight Rain
Mastermind
The Tortured Poets Department:
imgonnagetyouback - Sirius Black x Reader
The Bolter
The Black Dog
The Alchemy - James Potter x Reader
Who's Afraid of Little Old Me
But Daddy, I Love Him
The Tortured Poets Department
#fanfiction#marauders au#marauders era#harry potter#hp fandom#the marauders#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#regulus black#x reader#reader insert
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songfics
t o t a l . w o r d c o u n t. 19,403
« navigation. »
a r c h i v e.
r a t i n g s. 13+, 16+, 18+
c r e d i t. @firefly-graphics
2020
Golden Love | h.js | skz
Don’t Wanna Cry | l.ch | svt
Play Me Like A Violion | k.yh | day6
Watermelon Sugar | h.js | skz
9 And Three Quarters (Run Away) | txt
I’m Serious | k.yh | day6
deathbed (coffee for your head) | h.js | skz
Cat & Dog | txt
I Know I’m A Wolf | k.yh | day6
Fly Me To The Moon | k.yh | day6
Falling | j.hs | bts
Into the I-LAND | j.hs | bts
the other girl | h.hj | skz
All Alone | k.yh | day6
I’m Yours | k.yh | day6
you broke me first | k.is | sf9
Mean It | k.yb | sf9
Help Me Lose My Mind | h.js | skz
Rain Dance | h.js | skz
Crush | l.mh | skz
SLUMP (English Version) | h.js | skz
2021
2 Soon | l.ch | svt
Let Me In (20 CUBE) | p.sh | enha
Viva La Vida | k.yh | day6
Heartbeat | k.yh | day6
5 In The Morning | l.ch | svt
Please Never Fall In Love Again | h.js | skz
Wings | k.sw | tbz
Guiding Light | y.jw | enha
The Middle | p.sh | enha
Dirty Mind | k.sw | tbz
Lunchbox Friends | l.hs | enha
Please Never Fall In Love Again | j.jk | bts
Tidal Wave | j.jk | bts
Decalcomania | j.jk | bts
Why | j.jk | bts
Golden Dandelions | k.th | bts
Leave Before You Love Me | p.jm | bts
SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY | j.jk | bts
Blue Side (Outro) | j.hs | bts
Sparks | j.jk | bts
better off | k.nj | bts
Anchor | k.th | bts
drunk | j.jk | bts
2022
Astronomy | j.jk | bts
Problémon | j.hs | bts
hostage | bts
Lo Vas A Olvidar | p.jm | bts
Jenny (I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship) | j.jk | bts
Night Swim | j.jk | bts
Daddy Issues | j.jk | bts
AURORA | ateez
come out and play | j.jk | bts
Euphoria (DJ Swivel Mix) | j.jk | bts
Wildfire | j.jk | bts
Like Real People Do | j.jk | bts
Airplane Mode | j.jk | bts
Heaven’s Cloud | l.ch | svt
Wicked Game | l.ch | svt
The A Team | l.ch | svt
Cold War | j.jk | bts
Valley of Lies | txt
8 | j.jk | bts
Speed of Light | a.g
We’ll Never Have Sex | a.g
Love It If We Made It | a.g
Little Lion Man | j.jk | bts
Bittersweet | k.sj | bts
Forever | j.jk | bts
Bathroom Bitch | j.jk | bts
2023
Habits | m.yg & j.jk | bts
Dog Teeth | k.th | bts
Something For Your M.I.N.D | j.jk | bts
WILD | j.jk | bts
Come Inside of My Heart | j.hs | bts
Tally | k.nj | bts
Mejuffrou Sonneblom | j.hs | bts
Poetic Vulgarity | k.nj | bts
Dumped | m.yg | bts
Lost In Japan | j.hs | bts
Humankind | k.sj | bts
VOID | p.jm | bts
Letter | p.jm | bts
The News | j.jk | bts
Scrawny | j.jk | bts
Pools | k.th | bts
for him | k.sj | bts
Face Down | j.jk | bts
Deploy | k.th | bts
21 | j.jk | bts
Hope | p.jm | bts
Mix Tape | k.nj | bts
Strawberry Skies | p.jm | bts
Tangerine | k.th | bts
Hoodie | p.jm | bts
Pretending | h.js | skz
Moon | p.jm | bts
Anti-Curse | k.nj | bts
Fahrradsattel | j.jk | bts
It’s Only Sex | p.jm | bts
Lovers Rock | j.jk | bts
Miserable (You & Me) | h.js | skz
Fireflies | h.js | skz
Grayson | h.js | skz
Hey Lover | h.js | skz
Sweet Disposition | h.js | skz
Sorry, I Love You | h.js | skz
touch tank | b.ch | skz
Backyard Boy | h.js | skz
Fast Car | b.ch | skz
Creep | h.js | skz
Dream Sweet in Sea Major | h.js | skz
Agnes | l.mh | skz
The Color Violet | h.js | skz
Without Me | h.js | skz
All I Want | j.jk | bts
Wrong Time | h.js | skz
2024
.
#♟️ navigation.#bts x reader#skz x reader#txt x reader#day6 x reader#tbz x reader#kpop fanfiction#sf9 x reader#enhypen x reader#ateez x reader#andrew garfield x reader#ao3#archive of our own#kpop ff#kpop fic#kpop fanfic#skz fluff#svt fluff#bts fluff#day6 fluff#txt fluff#tbz fluff#skz angst#bts angst#day6 smut#bts smut#svt angst
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"I hope you die, I hope we both die" ~ A Rick and Morty songfic
TW FOR SELF-HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT
I hope our few remaining friends, would give up on trying to save us
I was drinking, I threw my head back and groaned when I realized that my flask was empty. I went to to the kitchen to refill it, Morty was walking past the kitchen and peered over. That fucking nosy little shit. "U-uhm Rick...y-you already drank a lot today..." Morty oh so kindly pointed out. Oh no really? I thought 3 bottles was too much. "Oh really? Thanks for pointing that out Morty, I would've neverrrr found that out by my-*burp*-self." I japped, rolling my eyes.
"Look at you, fucking pathetic, you are just a pathetic fucking alcoholic, but you don't care, do you?"
I clenched my jaw. Don't know why my inner voice felt the need to point it out. It's none of their fucking business. I reached for another bottle and Morty held onto my arm. "R-Rick...please just..." I ripped my arm out of his grip and grabbed a bottle. Morty held onto the lab coat. That stubborn dumbass. Heh. Guess he got that from me.
"Nope, he got it from Prime. You aren't his grandpa, remember?"
My hands formed into fists without my realizing it. Wow, that was real nice for my inner voice to point that out. That totally wasn't something I hate being reminded of. Gee, I love remembering that Prime's fucking grandson is still alive, and that I fucking hang out with him.
"Hey, that's why I'm here. Can't have you forgetting how much of a piece of shit you are."
Ugh, I can hear the nonexistent smirk in it's voice. Morty looked up at me with those dumb eyes that had way too much trust in them considering who he was looking at.
"I-I'm worried about you, Rick! Please just-" I pushed him off, with barely enough strength to move him off. He reached his hand out "Wait-"
I slammed the door in his face.
"Way to push away everyone who loves you."
I bit my lip so hard it bled. The metallic tasting blood filling my mouth. That's the idea, genius.
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I needed to go to Kinladerp Zeta 9. I needed some of the fruits from there for my latest work. But I promised Morty that he could go to school. But that was before I needed something. I set my portal gun to Morty's school, and I shot a portal, walking through the green swirl. I saw Morty and quickly grabbed onto the back of his stupid sunshine yellow shirt before he could walk away.
"Look at you...so considerate, such a kind grandpa, whoop, sorry just remembered, you're not his grandpa."
The voice laughed sadistically
"My mistake."
I didn't realize my grip on Morty's shirt became so tight until I heard it ripping. Morty looked behind him "Rick...what are you doing here-" "I need you for an adventure"
Morty looked at me, a mix of confused and sad. I felt a churning in my stomach. I recognized immediately, I feel it way too much.
Ugh...so that's what guilt feels like.
I hate it.
Real nice of my conscience to remind me of that.
"Oh please, don't act like you have a conscience now you dumb piece of shit."
I shook my head and responded to Morty "That was be-*burp*-fore I needed something." "But-" I set up a new portal and practically dragged him through it. "C'mon dumbass, we're going on an adventure." When we went through it, I stopped Morty before he could go through it. "Don't know why you're so in love with school, all it does is teach useless sh-*burp*-it that you'll never use in the 'real world'" Morty crossed his arms "I'm not coming with you." Hah.
It's cute that he thinks he has a choice.
I took his arm and dragged him to where I needed to go. He glared daggers at me and muttered "I hate you Rick..." I ignored the way I stopped for a quick seconds. A sudden pain in my chest.
"As he fucking should."
I just looked back at him and told a bold-faced fucking lie, "Right back at cha' buddy."
"No you don't. He's one of the only fucking things you don't hate."
I growled lowly in my throat.
It was fucking right.
I hope the fences we mended, fall beneath their own weight
I holed up in my lab after me and Morty's latest argument. I guess I could "apologize", but we don't do that. We just wait until the other person forgets about it. Hey don't look at me, the kid does that too.
Morty went in my garage "Uh...hey Rick." I motioned for him to come over, and Morty walked over. "I need your he-*burp*-lp with something, hand me that screwdriver." I ordered, pointing to a self. Morty nodded and went to get it. "U-uh Rick...I can't find it..." "Morty, it's in the red box to the right." I informed, not looking up from my work. I heard some rustling before a hesitant "I..still don't see it." Fucking dumbass. "Jesus, fine, I'll do it then, can't rely on you for one fucking thing." Morty looked down "Maybe you just told me the wrong place!" I stared through him "Morty why the fuck would I lie to you?!" "You always do!" "Just shut the fuck up and leave!" Morty's eyebrows furrowed "Gladly!" He stormed out, shutting the door behind him.
"Wow, nice job, he just forgot about the argument and you immediately started another one, no wonder why he hates you."
I looked at the door, reaching towards it, then I stopped myself.
He'll get over it.
(...) I hope I cut myself saving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long
I was growing stubble, I went to my bathroom and began shaving. I accidentally sent a fucking annoying cut near my chin. I watched the blood drip down my chin as it fell onto the counter. "Shit..." I cursed quietly to myself as I looked for the bandages
"Let it bleed. You deserve it."
I halted my movements. I looked at the cut in the mirror, I saw Prime's face, I gripped the edges of the counter, my knuckles turning white. I hate how I had his face.
"You should cut yourself more often, serves you right."
....
Fuck, It was right.
It was always right. I ignored the cut, and continued shaving.
(...) I hope it stays dark forever, I hope the worst isn't over
I sat down on my bed, taking out the pocket knife from my labcoat as I left dark red slashes on my wrists. They were the shape of lines.
"Yeah, fucking cut yourself. Do it. You deserve it. You fucking worthless piece of shit."
That's the idea. At least the voice was quiet now, cutting always provided a nice distraction, the physical pain being better than the emotional distress I was always fucking going through. I would also be lying if I said it wasn't because Diane's death wasn't all my fucking fault, and because I couldn't stop fucking caring about Morty. That little kid dug into my brain like a parasite.
"God, calling him a parasite, you're a big piece of shit. A real huge piece of shit."
Duh, why do you think I'm cutting myself? I was numb to it at this point, numb to the physical sting, at least it distracted me from everything in my fucked up life, at least I was able to control it, I couldn't even fucking control my own actions at times. I can't even control what goes through my fucking head. I didn't even have control over who I care about. But this...
...
I had control over it.
And that made it fucking worth it.
After I finished, I looked at the cuts that littered my arms and wrists. God I'm disgusting. Fucking pathetic.
I felt even more pathetic when tears started to fall.
(...) I hope I never get sober
I drank my flask in one swig. Fuck. I needed more.
"God, seriously? That's your fourth flask today alone, God you're pathetic."
I refilled it, drinking it, the burning sensation clawing it way down my throat and into my liver. God fucking dammit, I wasn't even buzzed. Fuck it, I took the whole bottle.
"Fucking alcoholic. Fucking pathetic."
Heh, wonder why I do it, maybe to escape from you buddy.
"Hah, cute. You think you can silence me with a few drinks? You're fucking pathetic. But keep drinking, keep destroying yourself, maybe you'll end up dead and everyone will be happy."
I shrugged at the thought, eh, win-win.
And I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say
I laid down, looking up at the celling. I was in bed again, not finding a reason to get up. Morty walked in "Morning Rick, it's time for breakfast."
I sighed, welp, guess that was one reason. I got up and saw Morty with that dumb smile on his face, why did it have to be so goddamn innocent? Morty tilted his head in a way that was infuriatingly cute "Why are you staring at me...? Is something wrong?" I locked onto his eyes...fuck...I hated how he got Diane's eyes.
"Heh, maybe it's a good thing you weren't around to raise Beth, she wouldn't have good things to say about you anyway, I mean what will Morty tell his grandkids about his dear old grandpa, 'Oh yeah, he was always an asshole to me, what a guy.'" I clutched the sheets and shoved past Morty. Not wanting to look at the pained expression on his face
"Rick!? What did I even do!?" I shot him a scrowl "Shut up Morty." I started walking and he grabbed onto my labcoat
"No! Tell me what I did! You can't just fucking shove me and-"
"I can do whatever the fuck I want." I growled lowly, getting down to his level "And you can't do anything about it. You're just a fucking dumbass."
Morty's eyes watered as he shoved at my chest, although it was like if he tried to shove a boulder
"Fuck you Rick!" Morty sobbed out before he ran.
"Wow, you broke the kid to tears, that must be a new record."
Ugh..fuck I hated that kid.
But I knew it was a lie.
I hated myself.
I went to the dining room and the teen ran past the table, Beth looked at me "What's his deal?"
I looked down playing with my food, basically shrugging an "I don't know."
"Fucking liar, you know exactly why he's crying, it's all because of fucking you, all you do is make things worse, you should fucking kill yourself."
I should.
(...) I am drowning, there is no sign of land
I was having a particularly bad session of self-loathing, you thought after decades of having these dumb fucking voices in my head, they couldn't hurt me anymore.
Hah.
I fucking wish.
I was drowning myself in alcohol. Trying to silence them, damn I wish I was a lightweight.
"Thank God Diane isn't here to see this, if-"
I slammed my head on the table. I fucking hate it when they bring up Diane.
It's always fucking Diane.
"It's all your fault y'know..."
Fuckkkk...it was right.
I was in a sea of my own self-loathing.
And I deserved every fucking bit of it.
You are coming down with me
Morty walked in and saw the big bruise on my forehead
"R-Rick...is everything ok?"
I didn't know how to answer that question.
Hand in unlovable hand
I looked away and Morty gently took my hand. I hated how tightly I squeezed it.
"You don't deserve this. You don't deserve fucking anything."
I fucking know, you don't have to remind me of this every single fucking second.
"Don't start thinking he fucking loves you, how could he? You're unlovable"
And I hope you die
"You should fucking kill him. End Prime's bloodline."
He's one of the last few things that brings any joy in my life. I'm not gonna fucking kill him.
"And you deserve joy?"
Fuck it had a point.
I hated how I brought him closer and hugged him. I hate how he hugged me back
"After you kill him you should fucking kill yourself."
I hope we both die
#rick#and#morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#rick and morty#rick c137#angst#heavy angst#tw self harm#tw suicidal thoughts#songfic
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