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cipheress-to-k-pop · 6 months

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the little princess (g.l.)

Pairing: Garfield Logan x Tamaranean!Fem!Reader

Warnings: None i think

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: If the Titans had a nickel for every time one of Kori's sister's, that she apparently had a very bad relationship with, landed on Earth, they'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird that it happened twice.

A/N: This is just a little ode to the Starfire that was in the OG Teen Titans show because I just love her so much. She's just a little cutie patootie and I loved all of her quirks and antics. I wanted to make the oneshot a little longer and end with both Gar and her getting together but I realized that it would've been far too long and I didn't want to write all that in the same one-shot.

It was in Dick's poor judgment to listen to the police radio while they were taking the cross-country road trip while getting back to San Francisco. Well, if we're debating Dick's poor judgment, he really should have taken the jet but not like the team could do anything about it now.

They were in Nevada, near Las Vegas when the chatter on the radio went wild. He spared a glance at Starfire, wondering if they should respond but she shook her head. So far, all alerts on the police radio had been insignificant things like disruption of business or public intoxication. Nothing that required their intervention.

So, Dick didn't bother to turn his indicator on for the exit from the highway. That was until they heard something cut through the static, clear as day, "Attention all units, need immediate backup! There's some sort of human flame thrower here! Like that superhero chick!"

They shared a glance and Dick swerved off the road and into the exit, nearly hitting another car in his hurry.

It took longer than it should have to get there, considering Starfire was driving while Dick changed into his Nightwing suit in the bathroom. To say that LVMPD were surprised when an RV rolled up with five superheroes inside was an understatement.

They directed them to the building, the perimeter heavily guarded by multiple officers, all armed.

Once they entered the building, everyone froze, noting how the girl on fire in the middle of the room looked much like the one standing beside them. Her hair was glowing and floating along with her body as she clenched her molten fists.

This never would have happened if they just took the jet.

Before any of them could even come up with a game plan, their target noticed just who was standing there and stopped. When the flames and the nearly blinding glow had subsided, they noticed all that was remaining was a young girl.

"Kori?" She asked curiously, wondering if that was really Starfire or just someone who looked exactly like her. After all, it was a new planet, she didn't know much about the inhabitants here.

"(Y/N)?" Kori breathed out, equal parts shocked and relieved.

The girl's face crumpled, and she broke out into sobs before flying right into her arms, "Kori!"

It was kind of amusing to see Kori attempt to hug you back, considering that you were floating off the ground but once you were consoled, she let you go, and you remained floating a couple feet off the floor at her side.

Kori gestured to the rest of them, and you bashfully hid behind her, scared of the newcomers. Ever since you landed on this planet, they had been nothing but cruel to you. All you had done was use your powers to reheat the tea you were served and suddenly there were men who had pointed weapons at you.

You looked at Nightwing's escrima sticks apprehensively before tucking yourself further behind her back. She spared you a glance before turning to her teammates with a tolerating smile.

"Guys, meet my sister."

"Another sister? Is she gonna try and kill us too?"

"You know Komander?" You asked curiously, floating a bit higher so that your head peeked over Kori's.

"Vaguely." Conner answered and you tilted your head, watching him with a deliberating pout. He seemed a little uncomfortable by your piercing stare, so you averted your gaze before whispering in your sister's ear.

"Are they holding you hostage?"

She chuckled and shook her head before introducing all of them to you by name. You listened attentively, noticing how neither of them bothered to give you smiles aside from the youngest girl and boy named Rachel and Gar.

They had pretty hair. You liked them already.

***

"Another sister you didn't tell us about?" Dick pressed, leaning over the centre console and Kori sighed, running a hand down her face. You were floating in the back of the RV, listening intently to Tim's conspiracies about aliens and attempting to explain your history and more to him.

"I didn't think I had to. I never thought we'd actually have to run into her." She explained and he gave her a hard gaze.

"Yes, but a little heads up would have been nice."

"Well, I didn't know she was going to be here, now did I?!" She snapped and the RV was immediately silenced. She sighed and turned to give the rest of you a reassuring smile and you reluctantly went back to your conversations.

When she was sure they weren't listening, she turned back to Dick, "She's the youngest. After Komander was born without powers, the public and nobles pressed for my parents to have another child. She was born with powers and also the first one in like 5 generations to be born with the power of flight. She's considered a gem in the public eye. She can do no wrong. And she's too young to assume the throne so she's never pressured like Komander, and I were. I'm surprised they even let her off the planet."

Dick cast an uncertain eye on the woman beside him. It was obvious that she had some unresolved issues with you, although he couldn't exactly put his finger on why. From what he gathered, you were pretty delightful and made a cute first impression, unlike the time he met Jason.

"What's this?" You asked loudly, pointing to a hole in their table.

"Um, it's a sink." Gar answered, flustered that you didn't know about its existence, "It's where we wash our hands and dishes and things."

Your face scrunched up, "Well that sounds unhygienic. Can't you just acquire new ones?"

Kori rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here, (Y/N)?" She asked, finally acknowledging you now that she had wrapped her head around it.

Your brows furrowed at her tone as you flew closer to her, "Maybe I'm assuming but are you perhaps angry with me?"

She scoffed. Of course, you didn't even know when you upset someone. People back home usually jump through hoops for you, so it was no wonder that you had absolutely no idea of other people's feelings or thought that you could do any wrong.

"Yes! What the hell are you doing here?! You can't just come to a planet like Earth and then go around causing trouble!"

"Excuse me?" You asked cautiously, trying to reason with her. You had come here to find your older sister because you thought she would know what to do. The more you spoke with her, the less she seemed like the rightful ruler and more like Komander, "What was I meant to do, Kori'Ander? Our parents were murdered, the crown princess disappeared. People began looking toward me for an answer. What was I meant to tell them?"

She scoffed once again and you were starting to get very irritated by the sound, "Of course, couldn't even run a kingdom for a while."

This struck the wrong chord. You were never quite close with your older sisters; they both considered you the runt of the family and frequently made comments about how you were too young to join them on their excursions. Kori would seem like the doting older sister to the public, but you never really connected.

And Komander hated you since birth.

It was undeniable that your parents treasured you. I mean, how could they not when you constantly strived for their attention. You didn't have any friends growing up and your sisters scorned you when you did nothing wrong, so you depended on your parents for intimacy and connection.

It wasn't rare for you to be floating around the throne room, giggling when your father teased you by attempting to catch you, even though you were way out of his reach.

The people treasured you as well, you realized that very early, when you were first introduced to them as a young girl. You had been hiding behind your mother's gown, intimidated by the sheer amount of people and held her skirt in a tight fist.

You remember your parents cooing at you as they slowly revealed you to the rest of them and then the deafening sound of the crowd cheering. Your parents watched with pride as you began flying to try and see just how many people were there and they cheered louder.

You were adored.

And even though you did want to spend time with your sisters and play with them, you were eventually steered away from them by your parents after you had returned to their room in tears and inconsolable when your sisters had slammed their door in your face when you had just asked to play.

"I'm not the one meant to be running the kingdom, Kori. You are the crown princess. It was your duty to be take over the throne or officially abdicate it. Not mine." You explained, not quite understanding why she was being so negative. This had been her birth right and her path, way before you were even born.

You didn't realize it when you were younger but as you came of age, you understood that your role in the royal family wasn't one of politics or even running the kingdom. You were nothing more than a symbol to the people. Of purity, peace, and hope.

That had been made clear, so why was she suddenly expecting you to take over?

Everyone stared out the window, trying extremely hard to blend into the surroundings. While all of them respected Kori a lot, they all knew that she was impulsive and often said things without thinking them through. While Kori was excellent at giving advice, she herself was awful at controlling her emotions and lashed out often.

Tim began making prayers that they would make it through without something catching on fire.

"I realize that (Y/N)! But you're still the princess in our absence! You should have done something instead of running away and make someone solve your problems for you!"

You gasped, "My problems?! The kingdom that you're the ruler of is my problem? I'm the one who's running away? You're the one who ran so far that you went to a completely different planet! You—You zarbnarf!"

Kori froze, watching as your eyes glassed over with furious tears. Immediately, she regretted speaking to you that way, feeling panic build in her system. It was probably because growing up, she had learnt to grow terrified whenever you began crying around her.

Because you were the golden child. The fragile flower among molten rocks and you were treasured by your parents beyond anything. If either Kori or Komander had made you cry, they usually faced a punishment. That was something that you took advantage of, as an immature, mischievous child. When had you grown up so much?

She wanted to apologize, take it back but her pride was swelling so big in her chest that it clogged her throat. She was still angry and humiliated and all the things she felt as a child began coming back to her.

How could she be so immature? She had no idea what happened on Tamaran, and she had been foolish to think it was still the place she considered home. But it was inevitable for the people to ask about their ruler. She had been running away from the thought for too long.

She had completely forgotten that you were left behind in the chaos.

"You abandoned our family! Our people! And for what? A servant’s quarters on wheels?" You spat, turning away from her. She expected you to throw open the door and fly out but instead you stomped over to the seat beside Gar, not noticing the way he began scrambling to wiggly himself out of the booth and away from you.

He was too slow, and you ended up plopping down onto the seat beside him and he stared apprehensively at you from the corner of his eye.

Kori scoffed, "Why don't you just leave?!"

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms, "I'm done with this conversation but not with you. If your first response to confrontation is to run away, then I can see why you weren't gifted with the power of flight in the first place."

She swelled, puffing out her chest, "You know what—?!"

When Kori realized that you weren't in the mood to talk anymore, she returned to her seat even though she wanted to keep yelling at you. Why did you get to decide when the argument was over? You both weren't on Tamaran anymore and your parents weren't around anymore to scold her for picking a fight with someone so much younger but still, she fumed silently in her seat.

You turned to Gar with an apologetic pout, "I apologize for calling this a servant's quarters. You have a lovely home."

He chuckled at your guilty face, "Yeah, this isn't where we live, we're just using it to get back home."

You gave him a smile, "So you're not feeling hard with me?"

He blushed furiously, ignoring Conner as he laughed quietly into his hand, "Yeah, no hard feelings here."

***

Since you were an "unwelcome" guest in Kori's eyes, you were confined to the couch when you reached the tower. She was expecting you to throw a fit or whine about having to sleep like a servant, but you didn't mind, didn't complain, didn't say anything as you sat silently on the couch.

They didn't know what caused the sudden damp in your mood, you had been smiling the entire trip back, asking questions and making conversation but it was like everything vanished the second you entered their home.

Gar came out of his room in the middle of the night for a snack when he saw you sitting up on the couch, knees pulled to your chest. He thought he would just grab whatever he needed and leave quickly but he heard you sniffle.

"You okay?"

You looked up at him startled, and quickly wiped away your tears before plastering a fake smile on your face, "I am fine. Thank you for asking."

He should have just nodded, giving you an awkward smile before retreating back to his bedroom but he seemed unable to get the apathetic words out at the site of you hiding your faltering smile behind your pink hair.

Superman had kryptonite. He had pretty girls.

"Would you like some ice cream?"

Your brows furrowed in confusion, "Iced screams? What is that?"

He chuckled, finding the way your nose scrunched up absolutely adorable, "Not 'iced screams'. Ice cream."

"Like cold milk?"

"Cold, sweet, hard milk."

You looked mildly repulsed, "I shall decline. Thank you for the offer."

He just breathed out a laugh, sitting next to you with a bowl of cookie dough and two spoons, "Just try it."

You kept giving him cautious glances all while lifting the spoon of the sugary treat to your mouth, watching as he nodded encouragingly and tentatively took a tiny taste (wow alliteration).

Gar had the absolute pleasure of watching your face scrunch up immediately, not expecting it to be that cold but it slowly faded into a small smile at the flavour.

When you had taken another spoon, he glanced at you and noticed your swollen eyes and red nose, "Is everything okay?"

You gave him a small smile and nodded, "I am merely just sick of your home."

He froze in disbelief before reminding himself that you were a literal princess. You were probably very used to luxury and had a literal castle to yourself.

And you're Komander's sister. That part explains a lot.

He shook the thoughts from his head before smiling politely and taking a spoon of ice cream himself when he didn't know how to respond. Luckily, he didn't have to because you continued.

"I know I have been here only a short time, but I miss Tamaran deeply."

The tension in his spine melted away and he slouched with a sigh of relief, "Oh, you're homesick."

You gave him a refined smile, "Yes, I just mentioned about the home-sickness."

"It's not exactly--nevermind."

There was a moment of silence while you quietly ate a couple more spoonfuls of ice cream before Gar spoke again, "No offense but if you miss it so much, why don't you just go back?"

You bit your lip, "My planet is in political instability. I'm unfit to take the throne. So, I vowed to bring the true heir back home."

His brows furrowed, "Why are you unfit to take the throne? You seem smart and powerful."

His compliment had heat raising to your cheeks and you felt a small smile grow on your face before it was dampened by the heavy topic and you sighed, resting your head against the back of the couch.

"My people wish that I take the throne because they see me as a beacon of hope but that is the very reason I am unable. My gift of flight has made me different from the rest of the Tamaraneans, so in a political sense, I have become a figurehead for nobility, equality and neutrality."

He nodded even though he wasn't quite understanding where this was headed.

"Because of this I have been trusted to be a mediator between my planet and others. I am but a symbol of peace. The rulers of other planets trust me because I am not part of the political party on Tamaran. I have never even made my debut into noble society. If I take my place as the ruler, those alliances could fall apart. The common people couldn't possibly understand that."

"So, you're supposed to be this unbiased figurehead but if you acquire any actual power, you think your alliances with other planets will fall apart?" He summarized, wanting to make sure that he actually understood, and you nodded.

"Well, why don't you just tell Kori that? I'm sure she'd understand."

Your eyes drifted to your feet that were folded up onto the sofa, "I was going to, but I lost my temper when she accused me of not taking initiative. She never acknowledged the work I did for my people. I suppose I got defensive."

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeeze, "It's alright. Second time's the charm."

Your face scrunched up in confusion and he laughed quietly, "I mean, you should try again tomorrow. Maybe it'll go better this time."

"Ah."

"Hey (Y/N)?"

"Yes, Garfield?"

He offered you a small smile, "If it makes any difference, I really do believe that you did the right thing."

You felt the corners of your mouth tug up, "Thank you, Garfield."

***

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

@haniscrying

@superheroesaremyjam113263

@writers-whirlwind

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

@isawachickeninatree

@uxavity

@battlenix

@capricorn-stark

@evermoore580

@dumbbitchgalore

@fuckingjinkies

@some-lovely-day

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westofessos · 1 year

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Not that anyone asked, but I’ve been unhealthily obsessed with wrestling for a little over a month now (just AEW), and thought I’d share my personal favourites:

Favourite Trio: The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn, and it’s not even close. They’re just such a fun time. I don’t think there’s anything else to say.

Favourite Tag Team: MJF and Adam Cole. I mean, come on. I really didn’t care about MJF in the beginning (though I thought he was very good at what he did. Super talented), and I found Adam Cole kind of boring. But put them together and my god, it’s magic. Few things have made me as happy as the two of them together, and it’s going to shatter my heart when they get broken up. The bottom line, for me: MJF makes Cole fun, and Cole makes MJF a good person. It’s beautiful. I could talk about them all day, my god.

Top 5 Favourites in general:

CM Punk - I know opinions are very mixed on him, but it literally only took one Collision for him to become my favourite. Just so good on the mic, super enjoyable to watch in the ring, and he seems like a genuinely good dude. I just. . . I just love him. Nothing will ever change that. Plus, Cult of Personality is just fucking awesome.

MJF - Now, you have to understand, until these past few weeks this spot was 100% Orange Cassidy’s. But I realized just how happy seeing him every week makes me, and how all I really wait for every week is his next match or promo (with Cole, of course, but I think this will remain the case after they’re broken up). He’s just so entertaining, great in the ring and on the mic, and one of the few that I believe is truly a good actor. Just pure joy, every time I see him.

Orange Cassidy - Now, just because he got bumped down one doesn’t mean I don’t still adore him. I love his whole schtick, I really do. It’s very entertaining, at least to me. I really appreciate anyone who tries to be that different from everybody else. And Jane by Jefferson Starship as his entrance song? Goddamn.

Kris Statlander - The only woman in the top 5, for now. And only because there’s only one fucking women’s match every show, so I haven’t gotten to see them all or really get to know or like any of them. But Statlander. Wow. As with Punk, it only took one look at her to know I adored her. She’s just awesome, what else can I say?

Adam Cole - It took me a bit longer to love him than it did the others, but slowly but surely, over the weeks in his tag team with MJF, I began to just adore him. He’s great.

Ones that aren’t my favourite, but I do really like them:

Chris Jericho - Now, before anyone (rightfully) judges me, I will explain. I know that he’s a shitbag in literally every aspect of his life, but I can’t help but find him so goddamn entertaining. I like his whole thing, I just do. The hair, the jackets, the shoes, the arrogance, it just works. I also think part of it is because I grew up with my dad watching WWE all the time, and Jericho is his favourite wrestler of all time. And Judas is a damn good song, it just is.

Juice Robinson - A fucking nutcase who is entertaining as hell. I love watching him.

Christian Cage - What an asshole. He’s great.

Dustin Rhodes - Maybe just nostalgia from when I used to watch WWE as a kid? Even still.

Sting - Again, maybe just nostalgia, but I don’t care.

Keith Lee - I honestly don’t even have a reason here, other than that he’s just cool.

Komander - Cool as fuck! Super impressive.

Samoa Joe - Honestly, just very cool. He also really makes me laugh.

Willow Nightingale - So cute! I just love her, and was so happy she won the Owen Hart tournament.

Ones I could potentially like but just haven’t seen enough from yet in the time I’ve been watching:

Best Friends - I adore Orange Cassidy and Kris Statlander but I haven’t seen much of Trent and Chuck. I’m sure I’ll love them though.

Danhausen - I haven’t seen him at all yet in any of the shows, but I have seen a bit of him on social media and I’m fully prepared to bump him up into the top 5 once he comes back.

Britt Baker - I’ve seen a few matches but definitely need to see more promos to like her.

Adam Page, Kenny Omega, Jon Moxley - I kind of feel the same about these three, in that I just need to see more before I decide to like them.

* if someone isn’t on any of the lists I either a) forgot about them, b) haven’t heard of them at all yet, c) don’t know enough to categorize them, or d) really, really dislike them (I was going to make this a category but honestly I just want to talk about the ones I like).

Lastly, I am deeply obsessed with this shit now and have no one to talk to about it, so if anyone wants to talk, feel free to send me a message. I have many, many thoughts and nowhere to put them 😂

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wrestler-smash-or-pass · 8 months

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Weekly Wrapup 1/21/24

This Week's Rankings:

Kazuchika Okada - 75.4% smash

Kevin Owens - 74.5% smash

Mustafa Ali - 69.6% smash

Chris Brookes - 68.6% smash

Rey Fenix - 63.3% smash

El Hijo del Vikingo - 57.6% smash

Komander - 56.1% smash

Joe Coffey - 51.5% smash

Angel Garza Jr. - 50.5% smash

Sheamus - 49.1% smash

Darby Allin - 43.5% smash

Iron Sheik - 30.1% smash

Toru Yano - 28.3% smash

Jinder Mahal - 27.5% smash

More stats under the cut, along with my observations, commentary, and some of my favorite tags...

Most total votes this week (most enthusiasm)

Kevin Owens - 369 votes

Kazuchika Okada - 289 votes

Mustafa Ali - 270 votes

Darby Allin - 262 votes

Chris Brookes - 242 votes

And least total votes this week (least enthusiasm)

Komander - 155 votes

Joe Coffey - 163 votes

El Hijo del Vikingo - 177 votes

Angel Garza Jr. - 186 votes

Rey Fenix - 188 votes

The closest poll was Angel Garza Jr., who won 94-92.

Top Ten Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Bianca Belair - 86.4% smash

Hikuleo - 86.0% smash

Jon Moxley (AEW Era) - 84.8% smash

Rhea Ripley - 84.2% smash

Bottom Ten Overall

Vince McMahon - 3.9% smash

Kane (Corporate variant) - 10.1% smash

Miracle Violence Connection - 11.8% smash

Triple H (Terra Ryzing variant) - 18.6% smash

Charlie Dempsey - 22.1% smash

The Boogeyman - 22.6% smash

Brock Lesnar - 23.2% smash

Marty Scurll - 23.8% smash

Ranjin Singh - 24.7% smash

Ink Inc. - 25.0% smash

Top Women Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Bianca Belair - 86.4% smash

Rhea Ripley - 84.2% smash

Bottom Women Overall

Carmella - 47.8% smash

Julia Hart (Cheerleader Variant) - 49.8% smash

Sherri Martel - 63.1% smash

Aubrey Edwards - 66.1% smash

Sonya Deville - 70.1% smash

Top Men Overall

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Hikuleo - 86.0% smash

Jon Moxley - 84.8% smash

Top Tag Teams

The Golden Lovers - 80.4% smash

Best Friends - 66.7% smash

Motor City Machine Guns - 65.5% smash

Young Bucks - 43.8% smash

Ink Inc. - 25% smash

Average Smash Rating

Week 1: 52.7% Week 2: 57.7% Week 3: 54.4% Week 4: 62.9% Week 5: 58.4% Week 6: 55.9% Week 7: 59.6% Week 8: 56.7% Week 9: 53.3%

This week's results were surprisingly average. Okada was the top smashable wrestler, but he wasn't smashable enough to hit the top 10 overall rankings. Jinder Mahal was the least smashable wrestler, but he wasn't so unsmashable as to make the bottom 10 overall. Just...average.

On the subject of Okada, I realize the photo I chose was a little controversial, but he is a WEIRD guy, and I wanted to highlight that. Also supposedly there is a nude photo book of him out there??? I like Okada, but not enough to spend money on a book of naughty pics.

Overall, the trio of AEW luchadores this week had a decent but not terribly enthusiastic showing. Penta was requested, but I haven't queued his poll yet. We'll see how he stacks up!

And now for some of my favorite tags and comments

@theringleader on Kevin Owens: #hes the reason i watch three hours of mid wrestling television 🤲🤲🤲🤲💖

@peppermintquartz on Kevin Owens: #sorry kevin i just wanna talk cats with you and nothing else

@daphne-minor on Kazuchika Okada: #how are you gonna smash okada and not his clothes sharing boyfriend nick jackson

@regalityandcoffee on Mustafa Ali: #like i lovejim but he literally looks like my brother

@mancewarner on Toru Yano: #loony tunes type sex. rube goldberg machine type sex. get yano'ed

#weekly wrap up

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homoeroticgrappling · 2 months

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There are so many large men in this match, Komander and OC need to team up as little guys

#aew #aew lb

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silverxxs-world · 6 months

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Daniel Garcia vs Brian Keith vs Komander vs Action Andretti

Slutty little crop top

Komander in pink

YUKA omg

Well brian is out

Arabian pressed wow

Komander is out but he looks amazing so 💅🏾

Ankle lock

Action my favorite light skin 😘

Oh shit that looked great that flip into the knee lock

Danny with the win

#daniel garcia #Daddy magic #Brian Keith #kommander #action andretti #aew #all elite wrestling #aew liveblog #aew lb #aew rampage

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gethooked · 8 months

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Here's my thoughts from tonight's dynamite

Hook vs Samoa Joe main event, ok I'm totally not nervous at all. This video package feels like it's a ppv. Ok but Hook's voice 😍 he needs to talk more. His slow walk oml.

Christian Cage vs Dustin Rhodes where did this match come from. I hate how Christian walks and I don't know why. Nick Wayne though 😍. Dustin's theme reminds of his Goldust theme. I honestly think Christian is going to win. Christian got yeeted over those steps oml. I feel like Dustin has been wrestling for 100 years, but I might actually cry when he retires. Hopefully he has a match for his retirement match. Not Nick trying to cheat. Yes Dustin, yambag jones, yambag city like Taz said. Dustin beat Nick's ass. Yess, get Nick out of here. (I love you Nick) Christian taking Adam's move 🫨 what did I say Christian was gonna win.

Who's house? Swerve's house! The way Swerve laughs is so weird to me. Renee looks sooooo pretty tonight. Did Swerve quote Harry Styles or am I going insane. Swerve's house!

Just looking at S🤮mmy passes me off. From what I've heard about Jericho recently I don't like him. A pizza cutter? Maybe he will cut your hair. Sydallllll!!!! Sydal beat Jericho before? Never knew that. At least we get to see Sydal.

Orange Cassidy and Trent with Chuck say whatttt... since when was he back. Hopefully OC and Trent win. Oh wait Penta and Komander... this match is gonna be a banger. Trust me I know bangers. Cero Miedo! I love that Rey's back too. Classic OC. I think my dogs like wrestling because whenever wrestling is on they have to wrestle to. They even do their own promos. Ok sorry back to the actual match. I hate picture in picture I get distracted by the commercials. So far I've been right about the winnings for 2 matches. Let's see how many more I can get. Bruh the undisputed kingdom can suck a fat one. Roddy shut the fuck up. Why are YOU trying to tell him what to do. Belongs to you? Bitch what? I agree with the other fans. OC another match?

Hangman you look different, did you dye your hair? Grow a mustache? Again Renee is sooo pretty. He doesn't think about Swerve? Yeah right. Hangman never threaten HOOK like that again.

This might make me cry. Rip Jay. Rest in Heaven. Poor Mark, he already looks emotional. #DemBoys period girl!! Good for you! The love Mark has for his niece is so cute. Now I'm gonna cry for real. The fact that Jay was a family man breaks my heart.

The bucks? What the hell happened to their faces. Nicholas and Matthew is crazyyyyy. Hypothetical he's using that word to much fr. Stiiiiiiiinnnnngggggggg. #changetheworld the shade towards cm punk is my favorite thing. Sweetheart is crazy.

Bullet club gold. Honestly I only like Jay. Mogul embassy? This match is gonna go crazy. I loveee Prince Nana. I think Toa missed. BCG won, knew that was gonna happen. We love Bowens btw. Scissor me Daddy Ass.

Wardlow? Adam Cole? Get off my screen sellouts.

Toni on commentary? Oml i love her but her gimmick gets irritating after awhile in my opinion. Deonna vs Anna? Deonna has to win. If I see anyone make comments about Deonna I will personally beat you the fuck up. What does virtuosa even mean? Yes Deonna as you should. Toni's faces are sooo funny bro. Poor Luther. Right in the what? Poor Taz. They must have been watching a telenovela. (I'm mexican I can make that joke)

Top Flight vs Private Party? I want Top Flight to win, butttt I think PP is going to win since Marq Quen is back. Idk I just hope both teams have fun. I loveeee PP's theme. Aww he gave away his durag. Same thing with TF's theme. I've been loving Darius' hair braided. What did Taz call them? I love when Zay does that little scream. Wasn't Darius on the ropes? Andretti? We love him too.

Hook vs Joe? Bae's gotta win this. Come on Hook. Hook looks so majestic. I'm gonna cry my poor Hookie. Joe you didn't have to actually have to kill him.

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wrestlingisfake · 9 months

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Final Battle preview

Athena vs. Billie Starkz - Athena has held the ROH women's world championship for a little over a year, and this will be her 19th (!) title defense. She's 1-0 against the challenger, having defeated Starkz in a non-title match on June 25.

Shortly afterward, Athena took Billie under her wing--it's been so long that I've completely forgotten when, or why. For weeks ROH aired skits about Starkz being a "minion in training," but always disappointing Athena compared to Lexy Nair (who was also undergoing training for some reason). After Athena proclaimed that Lexy had "graduated" but Billie didn't make the cut, Billie snapped. On the December 14 show (taped last week) Starkz did a run-in on Athena, demonstrating all the viciousness she learned from her former mentor, and Athena suffered a legit broken nose.

Presumably this match will follow the old trope of "I taught you everything you know, but I didn't teach you everything I know." Either Billie has learned from Athena how to beat Athena, or she hasn't. Or maybe she can beat Athena by rejecting Athena's teachings, I don't know. It's safe to say she'll put up more of a fight than she did in June, but I'm not convinced it'll be enough. At the last ROH pay-per-view, they had be thinking Willow Nightingale could unseat the champion, but it didn't happen. And with all due respect to Starkz, she's not at Willow Nightingale's level--not yet anyway.

I'm in favor of seeing a title change. Athena's done all she can do in ROH except kickstart a women's tag team division (and if she was gonna do that, Billie would still be her sidekick). A sympathetic babyface champion would be a nice change of pace--someone who can play the underdog against the likes of Leyla Hirsch, Marina Shafir, or Mercedes Martinez. I would have preferred doing it six months ago with Willow, but much like Athena Willow should be on AEW television at this point. So I'll take Billie as ROH champion, but I'm not at all confident that ROH is going to give it to me.

Jon Moxley & Bryan Danielson & Claudio Castagnoli vs. Mark Briscoe & Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler - This is billed as a "fight without honor," which just means the match can't end by disqualification or count-out. The idea is to pay tribute to Mark's brother Jay Briscoe, who was killed in a car accident on January 17, 2023. Jay and Mark began an epic rivalry with FTR (Dax and Cash) at Final Battle 2021, which concluded with Jay's last match at Final Battle 2022.

From what I can tell, the Blackpool Combat Club are heading into this match looking to honor Jay rather than play the heels. But the BCC are particularly good at acting like sadistic assholes even when they're supposed to be good guys. This is Claudio's first ROH match since September. Danielson, an ROH hall-of-famer, hasn't wrestled for the brand since 2009. It's been just as long for Moxley, except his ROH experience was just dark matches--this will be his on-screen debut with the promotion.

Moxley, Danielson, Castagnoli, and Briscoe are all booked in AEW's Continental Classic; in fact, Bryan and Claudio have tournament matches slated for tomorrow, and they'll face each other next week. Moxley has probably clinched a spot in the semfinals, and Briscoe is already mathematically eliminated. I doubt this match will affect the complexion of the tournament, but you can count on the announcers to bring it up a time or two.

I would imagine the goal here is to recreate the bloody chaos from the Briscoe-FTR matches last year. The BCC shouldn't have any difficulty holding up their end of that. I'd normally pick the BCC to win, but given the tribute angle it'd be promotional malpractice to book any finish except a Mark Briscoe victory.

Dalton Castle vs. Komander vs. Kyle Fletcher vs. Lee Johnson vs. Lee Moriarty vs. ??? - This is the final in a "survival of the fittest" tournament; the winner will be awarded the ROH television title, which Samoa Joe vacated on November 8. Each of the participants won a qualifying match to get here, except the mystery sixth entrant. The final is contested under elimination rules, so whenever someone loses a fall they leave and the match continues until only one man remains, who is declared the winner. Note that Komander's AAA cruiserweight title is not at stake in this contest.

I have no idea who the sixth participant could be, but it seems like he has to be a heavy favorite to win the whole thing. I'd be happy to see Bandido, Mark Davis, or PAC return, but I'm not sure any of them really work as a shocking comeback that will upset the balance of this match. A new guy coming in could work. Shelton Benjamin and Dolph Ziggler are free, right? Oh well, just in case the sixth guy isn't cool enough to win, I'll fall back on Castle as my go-to guy.

Keith Lee vs. Shane Taylor - Lee and Taylor were a tag team in ROH years ago, but they split up with Keith jumped to NXT. A year ago Taylor made it known that he resented Lee over this, so they clashed in a two-on-two match, which Lee's team won. Then nothing really happened for a long time, until Taylor suddenly brought it up again and they decided to do run it back one-on-one. I suppose it'd be interesting if Taylor upset Lee, but I don't expect it to happen here.

Wheeler Yuta vs. Tom Lawlor - Yuta is defending the ROH pure title, so this match is under pure rules: You can only use the ropes to break a hold up to three times, and you can only get away with one strike to the face, and so on. Lawlor has been a regular in MLW and NJPW STRONG, but he hasn't gotten many opportunities to appear with AEW/ROH. Yuta likes to bully opponents with his grappling expertise, but Tom has MMA power so that probably won't work here. Yuta will retain, I'm sure, but he'll need every trick in his book.

Ethan Page vs. Tony Nese - This is an "I quit" match, so the only way to win is to compel your opponent to verbally submit by literally saying the words "I quit." Over the past few months, these two have gone 1-1 against each other, and I guess Nese cheated to win the first match and refused to shake Page's hand in the second. I don't know, I don't really care why they're fighting.

An "I quit" match can go one of two ways--either both guys absolutely torture each other for a long time, or one guy chickens out and quits over the threat of something that doesn't seem so bad. I'm not sure which we'll get here. I really hope we don't get some bullshit where the heels trick the referee into thinking Ethan quit. I mean, Rock vs. Mankind was 25 years ago, and I don't think anyone's pulled that shit since then, but I'm still hot over it. Ideally, Nese should quit because of something really dangerous-looking.

El Hijo del Vikingo vs. Black Taurus - Vikingo is defending the AAA mega championship. Taurus is a AAA regular but I mainly associate him with appearing in Impact, so it's a little surprising to see him here. Of course, I never seem to see him win at anything, so this should be an easy win for Vikingo.

Brian Cage & Toa Liona & Bishop Kaun vs. Shane Haste & Kosei Fujita & Bad Dude Tito - Cage's team is putting the ROH trios title on the line. The Gates of Agony (Kaun and Liona) just returned from New Japan's World Tag League tournament, where they went 2-5. One of those five losses came at the hands of Shane Haste and his regular partner Mikey Nicholls. I'm not sure why Nicholls isn't here, but their associates in TMDK are here. The important thing is Haste is the one with the cool hat and the cool music, and Tito is literally named BAD DUDE. Fujita is their young boy, though, and that poor little guy is going to get squashed real real bad. Champs retain.

Ross Von Erich & Marshall Von Erich vs. Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd - This is set for the pre-show. Ross and Marshall are the sons of Kevin Von Erich, who has a movie coming soon about his career wrestling in Dallas. This show is being held just outside Dallas. You do the math. I dig the Outrunners (Magnum and Floyd) but this just ain't their lucky day.

#roh #ring of honor #final battle #athena #athena palmer #billie starkz

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