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scrumpledorph-writes · 9 months ago

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Koben’s Requisition (Shopping Trip)

My wounds have had long enough to heal. Left arm is still a little tender, but I don’t think I can bear sitting around doing nothing all day again. Already deviated from my sleeping schedule by fifteen minutes last night. I should go scope out the landscape around here, pick up a few essentials while I do it: a change of clothes, a spare blaster, maybe some thermal weave if I can manage that discreetly. Date night tomorrow too; so I should get a second change of clothes. A nice one.

No getting around wearing the armor into town again. As much as it draws attention, it at least gives people the proper impression. Not much difference between a body glove and a cat suit to a civilian eye, and just the thought of being propositioned has me recalling all the practice I had on how to snap a wrist. I don’t think the blood would wash out if someone tried to perform an unannounced physical inspection. The blaster rifle should probably stay home though.

Only twenty minutes across the flats to town, this speeder performs exceptionally far above the standard set by all the taxi speeders I’ve been calling. Could be made with illegal parts, or stolen Imperial tech. If that’s the case, somebody will come looking for it. They likely wouldn’t be expecting anyone to put up a fight, and their body wouldn’t last more than a few days on the sands – scouring winds for the flesh, scavengers for the bones, but that would leave a loose thread for whoever sent them. They’d send a bigger force to follow up, one of them might report back, and I’d be left looking for another little nothing planet to start all over on, alone.

I should have this thing inspected. Brayli’s a speeder mechanic, but I don’t know if it would offend her to blend her work and private life, even if I offer to pay. She probably wants to get away from work when we’re together. I could find another mechanic, but then she’d wonder why I didn’t bring it to her; if I don’t think she’s a good enough mechanic to do the job. Maybe I should bring it in now, while we’re not on a date and she’s a speeder mechanic first. Just bring in the speeder I stole off a bounty target, I’m sure that won’t cause any problems. Stupid; bad idea.

Think about it later, stick to the plan for the day so I can at least get something important done. Blaster first, it’s the easiest to carry around. Should just assume anything I can find around here is illegal, so who looks like the most credible illegal dealer? Is that a squadron of Jawas running a stall out of a speeder truck? Never seen that before. They at least probably stole it first hand, so I’d be getting it second hand, which beats third or fourth from any of the rest of these shops. They’re looking at me expectantly—too bad I don’t speak Jawa.

‘Hey miss! You in the suit! Were you hoping to do business with my fine companions?’ Long loose coat, loping posture, smile too wide for his head, voice like a tread on gravel. Shifty, probably a conman. Unfortunately my best bet. ‘I was.’ ‘Ah, but you don’t speak Jawa do you?’ ‘No.’ ‘Ah that’s alright my friend, few people do.’ He’s trying to put his arm around me. Too friendly. Firm hand on the wrist, firmer shake of the head. ‘Ah, straight to business with you, I can respect that.’ He’d better. ‘So, what is it you’re in the market for?’

‘Blaster pistol. Highest power you have. Discretion is no concern.’ ‘Highest power you say? I hope you have your papers.’ He’s laughing, slapping two of his four spindly hands against two of his twig like knees. Trying to draw me in, establish a connection he can exploit. ‘I don’t.’

He’s standing up straight now, but with how crooked everything else about him is it makes him look off balance. ‘Ah ha, well, that’s no matter. Only a joke. Please, feel free to browse. We keep the batteries stored separately, so by all means inspect the merchandise, give the triggers a test squeeze or two.’

Surplus, worn out, stripped, knockoff. I should have expected none of these would meet any official standards. Good thing I carry a pocket tool. There might be one good blaster spread across this entire inventory. ‘Hey hey, whoa lady, what do you think you’re doing?!’ He’s spineless, maybe literally; push a little harder and he’ll fold.

‘You claim to sell blasters. These aren’t blasters, they’re piles of scrap. Most of your customers won’t know the difference until it kills them, but if you cared about that you wouldn’t be selling them.’ Guilt. Not the guilt of knowing his shoddy goods have killed his customers, but of knowing he’s been caught. ‘Let me pull a few of these apart, put together a complete, functional blaster, pay you for the parts since I’ll be handling all the work – then you can put the rest back together and get back to scamming people.’ His face looks more red than an imperial saber and pressurized as a grenade.

‘Two thousand credits for the privilege of picking and choosing.’ ‘A good heavy blaster is worth seven hundred new; five hundred and fifty for your secondhand wares.’ ‘That’s in the core worlds where you can get one made easily, fifteen hundred for the import fee.’ ‘Your Jawa partners stole these off corpses, I can see the kill tallies carved into some of them. Seven hundred and fifty.’ ‘And they risked their lives getting to them before the Tuscan raiders! Twelve fifty.’ ‘Nine hundred and I’ll put the ones I have to take apart back together myself.’ ‘One thousand for insulting the quality of my wares!’ ‘Done.’ Emperor that was exhausting. Used to be able to just serve up a writ of requisition to commandeer things like this. Or arrest the vendor.

I can’t believe it took two hours of sifting through and comparing their whole stock, but I finally have an acceptable blaster. Thick grip, long barrel, wide firing chambers, compact sight. Imperial steel through and through, none of those ornamental engraved wood or softer metal inlays that are popular with civilians. Just a needless point of failure. Reminds me of my academy days, stripping and reassembling a blaster over and over until I could do it with my eyes closed and an alarm siren wailing. Now I just need a holster and some practice shots to get used to the weight.

‘Finished. I’ll take five batteries for it. I’m done haggling for the day, and I know how much a battery costs. Twenty five credits per unit.’ He seems as fed up with me as I am with him, he’s not even feeding me excuses any more.

‘Say, not bad work you did putting these back together. One connoisseur of fine weapons to another, perhaps my wares may not be of the highest quality on the maintenance side of things. That’s why I have to sell them on the street. How would you be interested in a business proposition?’ Oh, he stopped haggling so he could get on my good side. How shrewd. Still, bounty work is inconsistent even under the best conditions. A fallback option wouldn’t hurt.

‘I have other avenues of employment, and I only work freelance. Whatever you’re suggesting would likely be bottom priority. If you’re still interested, keep talking.’ ‘I’m sure you noticed a lot of the problem with these blasters is wear and tear. Jawas are great at finding things and taking them apart, but not quite so good at putting them back together in good working order. How would you like to be my refurbishing specialist? Your blaster’s looking great, and all you had was a pocket tool and a folding table on the street. With a proper workbench and suite of tools, like the ones I’ve got at my workshop, you could probably get these good enough for the Troops!’ Delusions of grandeur. I don’t have time to get wrapped up in some small time scheme.

‘So you can peddle them to passersby? Sounds like wasted effort. The Empire has industrial grade contracts.’ ‘Ah that may be true my friend-’ ‘We aren’t friends.’ ‘-My potential business partner; but the local gangs are always looking to expand, and that means they always need new blasters.’ High quality blasters in the hands of the local gangs means higher quality blasters being pointed at me on the job.

‘Do you think I wear this armor because it’s comfortable?-’ It actually is, the body glove was vacuum contoured perfectly to my body, with all the plates machined to match. I used to sleep in it on long operations, just to be safe. But that would undermine my argument. ‘-My primary earner is bounty work. Being shot at by military grade blasters already sounds like a losing proposition, knowing I’m the reason they have them would just be insulting.’ ‘Mm. I understand. Take my comm number. If you ever change your mind, let me know.’ Doubt I’d ever make enough off of this to be able to stop doing bounty work, but fine.

That ate up too much of the morning. I was hoping to take a shuttle to the system capital early so I could beat the commute, no way I’d find anything approaching fancy on this planet, but at this time of morning there might as well be a blockade on intra-system traffic. Guess I can pick up those civilian clothes now.

I’m a little surprised to see she has an actual building to operate out of, but the desert winds aren’t kind to lighter fabrics so she must get a lot of repeat customers. Half filled racks of disparate pieces of clothing. A lot more variety than I’m used to. Could branch out from imperial black on imperial black. Not a lot in my size though.

That coat looks reliable, nerf leather lasts almost as long as plastoid. Still has most of its color, looks about my size. ‘Do you have anywhere I could try things on?’ A single disinterested finger from the other side of a holovid. Fine by me, I’ve been marketed to enough today. Over the shoulder and keep looking. Slim pickings for pants, and cloaks aren’t much my thing. Always get worried that there’s nothing under them whenever I see someone wearing one, or worse: that they’re hiding a lightsaber.

One pair of denym pants that looks like it could fit around my thighs. Another durable bit of civilian wear – no reason to compromise on that principle just because I’m stepping out of my armor. A shame it looks like it just came in from a few years sitting out in the suns, but it should do.

Those are some nice boots. Sturdy, reinforced worker’s wear. Maybe I can keep a little black in my wardrobe. The Empire puts everyone in it for a reason, right? Slimming, obscures your silhouette, muffles features. They have a nice clack when I tap the toes, could probably stop a blade if it really came down to it. Vibro-blade would probably still go through them like paper, but normal people take that risk every day and most of them make it out okay.

A nice looking holster. It looks new—brand new; too new. Imperial black, with a belt loop to fit any size and shape of blaster pistol. This is an officer’s holster. What would an officer be doing this far out? Hopefully not looking for me, and if so, hopefully this was picked off their corpse. Doubt the girl behind the counter verifies her sources. I’d have no choice but to buy it just to destroy it; the fact that it fits my blaster well is just a bonus.

This shirt might have been imperial black at some point; another casualty of the triplicate suns. Really need to consider moving to a system with fewer of those. A softer retirement than most imperial uniforms get though; no cuts or burns. It’s also the only shirt here that can fit over my shoulders, so I don’t have a choice.

I’m not sure I like civilian clothes. Even in the regular Storm Corps the glove was vacuum fitted despite the plates being mass produced, but after ten years of custom machined Purge Corps plates contoured to my musculature, these generically cut fabrics feel like they’re strangling me. I can feel the stitches on the jacket strain if I deviate too far from rest, not to mention the cuffs hanging up on my elbows. The pants would probably rip wide open if I had to sprint or lunge at something, even a crouch feels like I’m pushing my luck. The shirt has the opposite problem – loose fitted to the point of bunching and folding under the jacket so badly I’m constantly pulling on the collar to keep it facing straight. Boots and holster fit well though.

Fifty credits for it all, not a single word from the shopkeeper. One of the better interactions I’ve ever had with one. Easier to carry it around than my armor, so I guess I’ll have to head back home and change into it before I head off world. Less likely to get stolen if I leave it in my speeder too. Surely the people around here aren’t that desperate.

I doubt the morning rush has finished yet. The less time I can spend on a crowded ship the better. Maybe I can ask Vranki to order me in that sheet of thermal weave, a crime boss is sure to understand the value of discretion. If she’s halfway competent it should be no problem to source, and if not I should probably start looking for another employer.

‘Hey Trooper. Wish you chose a different code name, kind of confusing when I have to call out regular troopers.’ Good to see he remembers me, I think it’s a faux pas to disarm someone two times. ‘I’ve spent so long being called that I couldn’t think of anything else.’ Not a lot behind the eyes in that nod he’s giving me. ‘Nice blaster by the way! Where’d you get it—I’ve been thinking of upgrading. Just in case a fire fight ever breaks out, y’know? Can barely hit a bottle past ten feet with this thing.’

‘I had to splice together six blasters to make this one.’ ‘Oh no way, that’s crazy. Could you take a look at mine? Maybe it’s just rusty or something.’ Hard to picture this guy ever being a serious threat no matter how good a blaster he has. No rattling, no visible wear and tear. Likely doesn’t get fired often enough for that. Even a pretty good scope, but it’s completely warped. ‘Everything’s fine but the sight, what happened? Did it get run over, dropped off a roof?’ ‘That’s the bit I use to crack open beers when a shift is dragging on.’ Glad I’m wearing my helmet so the disgust on my face can’t sour our working relationship. ‘Don’t do that.’

Nothing seems to change much around here. Still dark, loud, and smoky: all problems my helmet solves. Surprised Vranki has time to see me, I figured there would be a lot more overhead on running a gang. A lot of it must handle itself now that I give it a second thought though: addicts just need some space to dissociate, and I’ve never seen someone paying for sex unhappily. The problem solving flow chart is probably a lot more linear without having to worry about court reprimands or public scandals—just use violence until the problem is gone.

‘Ah, Trooper! Glad to see you up back up and walking without that nasty limp. You here for work, or did you need a little help unwinding?’ ‘Neither ma’am. I would like to make use of your front companies if possible.’ ‘This isn’t Coruscant, why would I need to bother with those? Everybody in town knows who I am and what I do, and the only people who’ve given me trouble over it so far are people trying to compete.’ That’s a worryingly lax attitude, but the sooner I restore my armor’s integrity the better.

‘I need a sheet of thermal weave, but I don’t want my name on the purchase. Could I proxy it through you?’ ‘Of course! Normally that sort of business would start running into exorbitant fees, extortion if I’m being honest with you—woman to woman; but since we’re professional associates I’ll let you off with just a ten percent surcharge. I’m still running a business after all.’ ‘Fine. Give me the price as soon as you have it. If it’s too much, give me a target to make up the difference.’ ‘Oh don’t worry, I have no shortage of work for you if it comes to that. I should have a quote for you by the end of the day, not like it’s illegal or anything. Has anyone ever told you you’re paranoid, dear?’ I doubt it would be worth explaining how criminal activity looks from the enforcing side of the law. The Empire has a loose grip out here, but it tightens every day.

Suns are out in earnest now, traffic should have broken up. Just need to stow the armor at home and head to the spaceport. Things have been happening fast enough lately that I’ll likely be home by the time I’ve parsed them all in a sitrep. Vranki raises a lot of red flags – she makes half the rookie mistakes I spent seven years busting people on, and seems proud of it. She’s only gotten big because there’s no law out here to crack down on her, but once there is her operation is done. I need to not be a part of it by then. There’s no such thing as an honorable discharge from a crime boss’ service, so I might need to ingratiate myself to someone else more discreet and help with a hostile takeover. Should take my next contract from someone else too, better not to establish a pattern before breaking it.

Situation at home is appreciably unchanged. Looks like the wind rustled the shutters though, wish those stayed shut. Better not to invite any prying eyes or opportunistic scavengers in, even this far from town. Armor’s safely tucked in the alcove, casual clothes are on, time to go.

III

Honestly glad there’s no good tailors on Doobinth, I could use an afternoon away from this planet. Waterproofing is easy, but sand infiltrates every crevice in a piece of gear better than any assassin I’ve ever worked with. Maybe I can take Brayli off world for a date some time. I hear the capital is interesting. Not nice, considering it’s a hyper dense ball of iron that cooks you alive if you leave the arcologies—with rivers of mercury flowing across a lot of the surface, but apparently there are some breath taking views. I can’t even imagine how it got chosen to be the capital though.

Hang on a second: why does it smell like exhaust inside the ship, and why does it make me feel...nice? Better look around, just to be sure there’s no leak. It seems to be coming from that woman over there. That Nautolan with pink skin and tight coveralls who needs two seats. What’s Brayli doing on this shuttle? Should I talk to her? If she sees me I have to, it’s not nearly loud enough to pretend I didn’t notice her. We aren’t scheduled for a date until tomorrow though, she probably wants to be alone. Likely left the planet to get a break from me, I shouldn’t be too pushy. Just leave her alone.

‘Hey Koben, is that you?’ Oh, okay, never mind, impromptu short date. Public transportation through the void of space is romantic, right? It doesn’t matter, you need to get up and use your legs to walk over to her so you aren’t shouting across the cabin. ‘Oh, hey Brayli, it’s good to see you! I just happened to be heading to Saraz myself for some-’ Don’t ruin the surprise by telling her you’re going to spend a sizable chunk of your blood money on a dress from a tailor you’ve only heard about on the HoloNet; that would look stupid for two reasons. ‘-sightseeing.’ ‘Lucky you. Some oil baron who only drops by for the winter wants me to supe up his speeder so he can blast across the dunes, and the folks who make the parts for it don’t deliver. Just my luck, huh sugar?’

A pet name. A friendly elbow. That soft, warm laugh she does. How do I respond. Do I put my arm around her? Kiss her? Not in public, surely that’s too far too fast. I’ve been in situations like this before. This is a tightrope, she’s testing you. Fall and it all ends once we land. I recognized it, that’s the first part of the test, now all I have to do is figure out the answer.

‘You alright? You look a little pale, the shuttle making you sick?’ ‘No! I’m fine! I’m sorry. You’re very unlucky. I hope those parts are easy to transport.’ Feels like I just got hit by a speeder. ‘It’s just a few little nuts and bolts. The kind that are just a tiny bit off from industry standard so they can sell you replacements.’ A second part of the test, breadth of knowledge review, I can handle this.

‘Oh! I know what you mean, blasters have that problem all the time. The Empire published standard dimensions for chamber dimensions, seal sizes, firing power outputs, every characteristic that could possibly be regulated, because practically every culture had their own informal standards. Steep fines for intentional propagation of non-regulation part dimensions. The reason they do it is because they need to be able to requisition replacement parts from as many potential sources as possible, for when troopers are on long field operations and left cut off from official support lines. Of course, with how many blasters are rarely used, and passed down from father to son for generations in particularly egregious cases, there’s still quite a sizable market for unlicensed blaster parts. This one here I actually spent an hour just this morning putting together because of how many parts felt like they fit, but started to squeak or jostle upon further inspection. A lot of people think that they can get by with a fit that’s close enough, but with how much stress is placed on a blaster during use, the best result is that your blaster falls apart on you, and the worst is that it explodes in your hand.’ That should be sufficient.

She’s laughing again, and now our thighs are touching. There’s ample space for them not to be if she wanted, which must mean I passed. No other place for it now, so it’s safe to put my arm around her. This is nice. I hope the transport stalls out.

‘Wow, and here I thought troopers just fired blasters. I’m starting to think you’re secretly an engineer just trying to impress me with all that trooper talk.’ Teasing. Lighthearted teasing, I remember this from my academy days. ‘How do you think I got the armor?’ ‘Made it yourself in a workshop. It only looks real; the plates are rusty sheet metal you pulled off a speeder and painted up pretty. I could probably snap chunks off of ‘em!’ She’s grinning, and so am I. I hadn’t realized.

‘No way to prove that now, since I left the suit at home. Can’t risk depressurization with some sharpshooting, and there’s no floor space to spar a few rounds.’ She’s trying to lean in close, but her head barely reaches up past my chest. ‘Oh don’t worry, I’ve got the perfect spot to spar a few rounds at home.’ Now would be a good time to cross my legs, just to be safe while that image runs through my head. ‘Haha, yeah, well—I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it until we get around to that.’

Transport just arrived. I don’t want to get up yet, and neither does she. ‘See you tomorrow night?’ ‘Of course. Oh, nice new duds by the way – I’d been meaning to say. You finally get tired of catching heat stroke in that suit?’ No time to explain how sophisticated the temperature regulation is, only time to smile and laugh. All the time in the galaxy for that. ‘I got tired of having to wipe the sand out of the cracks every night.’ ‘Maybe you’ll get used to desert living yet. Shuttle’s just about empty, should probably head out, catch a taxi before they’re all snapped up. Bye sugar.’

Hard to believe this place is in the same system as Doobinth. Everything’s bright, clean, crowded, and loud. It has its charms, but I’ve been out of big cities long enough I think I’m starting to prefer wide open stretches of nothing. This place looks surprisingly barren for a clothing shop. Figured there would be a lot more on display, but all they have is fabric samples. ‘Good afternoon madame, welcome to my humble boutique. How can I assist you on this fine day?’ His voice is coming out fast and nasal, wonder if it has to do with how much neck it has to traverse. Not used to looking up at people.

‘I have a date tomorrow and need a nice dress.’ ‘But of course, a trifling matter.’ ‘I don’t see any to try on.’ ‘Oh no my dear, you do not -try on- art! Everything we Kaminoans create is art, and art must be made bespoke, one of a kind, by and for those whose ambition wills it into being. Please remove your jacket; my droids will take your measurements and then we may begin holo-projecting potential designs over you.’

All of these designs look awful. My shoulders keep jutting out, my waist is a straight vertical line, and all these silky smooth fabrics just draw attention to how cracked and worn my skin is. I’m stupid, this is stupid. Dresses are for women with the luxury of sitting in a temperature controlled office all shift and taking monthly salon trips. Ones who’ve never had to practice knife fighting or crawl through suppressive fire. Real women.

I’m crying. Haven’t cried once since the Empire took me in, and now I’m crying because I don’t look good in a dress I could never have imagined affording until now anyway. What a joke. ‘Oh please do not cry madame. What troubles you?’ ‘I don’t think a dress is for me. I’ll be on my way.’ I guess she’ll have to be satisfied with these clothes.

‘Oh you must not go! In all my years I have never had the pleasure of working with one such as yourself!’ ‘Someone built like a slab of wrought iron?’ He looks offended. Don’t know how he has the gall to be the one offended here, but that’s self proclaimed “artists” I suppose. ‘That is how you think of yourself madame? Do not say such things!’ I’ve spent the better part of my life taking orders, but a scrawny seamster is a step too far.

‘And why shouldn’t I?! I could go to Coruscant with more credits than I’ll ever see and still not find a tailor who can make me look pretty!’ ‘You would not, that is true, but that is because you would be looking on Coruscant. That is a planet of high society, a world where there is no need for one to hone one’s body. Within those confines of course there would be nobody who would know what to do with a specimen of your caliber.’ That makes a nonzero amount of sense.

‘What is my caliber then, how would you dress me?’ ‘Dry your tears madame—whilst I tell you all I could see from the moment you walked into my shop. Your physique is sublime: a sculpted, chiselled testament to the endurance of the natural form. This could be the result of costly bodily sculpting technology, that is perhaps true, but such technology is unheard of by anyone living this far from the core worlds. An employer of such methods would have no reason to visit my establishment, and thus you must possess a physically demanding employment to maintain it naturally.’ I never figured it was that noticeable. It must be easier to make out through normal clothes than under armor.

‘Compounding this, your posture: the proud and yet restrained bearing of a soldier! Your eyes scanned uniformly across my shop, shoulders level, gait even. Such is not the behavior of a mere athlete or physical laborer. Even in so safe an environment as a shopping district you stay alert – vigilant for threats. Had I a blaster pistol in my hand when you walked in, no doubt you would have taken it from me.’ That is a difficult habit to unlearn.

‘You sound like a detective, but none of that makes me look any prettier in a dress.’ ‘Of course; nothing would make you look pretty in a dress. I knew that from the moment I saw you.’ ‘Then why put me through that?’ ‘Though I gleaned much from your bearing, I am no Jedi: I had no way to see inside your mind.’ Really need to learn not to tense up just from hearing that word some day. ‘I apologize for the distress, but more important than showing you what would work was showing you what would not. Now that you’ve realized a dress does not suit you, I would be happy to tell you what will.’ ‘Go on then.’

‘To accentuate and flatter your powerful form is the purview of a suit, madame.’ Oh, he’s right, these look amazing! ‘From your smile I see you begin to understand, but I will elucidate: there are as many forms of beauty as there are cultures in this galaxy. While you are a human, you are also a soldier – you come from a culture of power, strength, discipline; it would be foolish to force the beauty standards of the cosmopolitan worlds upon you.’

High shouldered, sleek limbed, and just a little imperial black for the under layer. I can see why this place has such a high recommendation, if the real thing looks half as good as this holo-projection it should be the second fanciest set of clothing I ever wear. ‘It’s perfect. I never knew how good red looked on me. I have one request though.’ ‘But of course, it is only fair that the canvas be comfortable with the art placed upon it.’ ‘Do you have any blaster resistant materials?’

That laugh is a lot deeper than his usual speaking voice. Hearty, makes him sound strong. ‘Oh, a daunting task, but you are in luck. Many of the people who care to buy tailored clothing in this system are members of the less savory side of society, and as such would prefer not having to compromise protection for style. I cannot guarantee it will prove immune to high power weaponry, but most common blaster pistols should take no fewer than two shots to damage this mesh. If you find yourself utilizing this property, fear not, because all my works come with a lifetime warranty.’

‘You’ve really surpassed all my expectations, I have to say. When will it be ready, and how much will it cost?’ ‘No more than two hours, and five thousand credits will suffice.’ The credits are easy, but I have no idea how to spend the next two hours. I never appreciated the utility of long patrols until now.

‘Can I ask you a non-work related question?’ ‘But of course madame.’ ‘I don’t know a good way to pass two hours around here. Do you have any recommendations?’ ‘Oh it would be my pleasure. If you are in such a mood as to spend more credits, I would recommend that you purchase a pair of boots to match the suit. Yours are passable, but red leather would certainly complete the ensemble. As for yourself, and please do not misunderstand me – the rugged, down to earth look has a charm all its own – you may want to seek out a salon, if for no more than a manicure.’

‘A salon? That sounds like an excessive measure.’ ‘Consider it a part of the ensemble. Just as one would not expect to see a full face of makeup underneath a trooper’s helmet, so too does one expect not to see a woman in a five thousand credit suit have dirt under her nails.’ For how much he talks, I have to give him credit: it makes a lot of sense. Definitely not just talking to hear the sound of his own voice. ‘I failed to consider that before, thank you.’

The boots were easy, managed to find the exact same shade as the suit to avoid any dissonance. Not usually impressed by civilian craftsmanship, but these are almost as comfortable as my old ones. Good flex, breathable, spacious. I’ve never owned clothes that weren’t made for fighting in before; I feel protective of them already.

I’ve never been to a salon before. No that’s not true, I raided an illegal one once, but I’ve never been a customer. ‘Hi there, welcome, can I get your name?’ Oh hell, should probably not leave too much of a paper trail. Been getting too comfortable lately, think of a fake name. Nothing’s coming to mind. Just Hers. Can I use it? It’s not like she’s around to be upset, and it’s the least she can do to make up for everything else. ‘Tessa Revilane.’

‘Well Mrs. Revilane, I don’t see you on the list, but you’re in luck: we just had a cancellation so I can squeeze you in.’ Her smile is fake, but polite. Wouldn’t look out of place placating an officer. ‘What was it you were looking for today?’ ‘I have a date tomorrow and I want to look pretty.’

Just relax. It’s okay to close my eyes around these unfamiliar women with scissors. They’re just civilians, if they were Imperial assassins I would have recognized their body language. The chair is adjusted for my height, and I’m being washed with water instead of sonic vibrations for the first time in years. I should enjoy it.

‘Goodness, you really needed this cleanup. How do you even get your fingernails into this state?’ ‘I wear gloves most of the day. Trim them with a knife when they get too long.’ Wow. These women must take this deathly seriously, I’ve never heard such an affronted gasp from so many people at once. ‘Well, you’ve come to the right place dear. I’ll have them fixed up for you in no time at all.’

The warm water is nice, but being detailed like this by three different people makes me feel like a droid in a repair bay. ‘Not often I work with hair this tangled. This might take a few brushes, and there’s a strong possibility of pulling, is that alright? I can skip it if it would be too painful.’ ‘That sounds fine.’ I’ve taken serrated vibro-blades between the ribs, I’m sure this will be triv-ow. Easy to forget how sensitive the scalp is wearing a helmet all the time.

‘Please don’t be offended by my saying this ma’am, but these callouses are so thick I don’t think a foot soak will be sufficient. We have a micro-vibrational cleaner that detects changes in tissue density in order-’ ‘Will it make them pretty?’ ‘Yes ma’am, very pretty.’ ‘Go ahead.’ Never worn an open toed shoe in my life, but I’m here, no use taking a half measure. It tickles. That feels nice.

I’m starting to see why the officers made such a big deal about their grooming, it’s really relaxing once you get used to being touched. The prices weren’t that steep either, for a bounty killing salary. Maybe I should make this a regular routine. Come here once a month, get to know them by name, make small talk. Then they all recognize me when an imperial detachment comes looking. Better keep it to just this once, and put effort into savoring it.

‘Well, we’ve done all we can out here, and if I may say so myself we’ve done quite a great deal. There is an optional full body massage we can have done for you in the back, a masseuse droid handles it to reduce any feelings of awkwardness. If not, we can get to painting your nails and styling your hair and you can be on your way.’ A massage. Never had one of those either, usually just been injected with a relaxant whenever a medical droid’s scalpel was having trouble penetrating. Why not? ‘I’ll take the massage.’

Now this is luxury. Most luxuries serve a practical purpose: they’re a status symbol to separate the wealthy from their servants at a glance. Investments in psychological domination. Jewellery, clothes, fancy speeders, large apartments; things to be seen, not enjoyed. This is different. Nobody will ever notice this but me. I have so many credits I can afford to throw them away just for my own pleasure.

Each manipulator digit feels like it’s giving me a stim injection. I never realized how much tension impairs physical capacity. My physical conditioning regimen has largely compensated for it and kept me effective, but right now I feel like I could do a standing jump over a speeder. The oil feels nice too. Like the cool tingle of hypoxia settling in, but I can lie here and enjoy it without dying. It might not be a good idea to come to this salon again, but surely the Empire would never track someone buying a masseuse bot, right?

Even my clothes feel different putting them back on, everything is so sensitive and providing me so much feedback. I thought with bacta eliminating scarring that there would be no difference, but this must be how molting species’ feel.

‘That was amazing. I’ve never felt anything like it.’ ‘That’s great to hear! Just sit back down and we can handle your hair and nail polish.’ A holodisplay of potential colors, but I don’t need to look. ‘Imperial black please.’ Applied in under a minute. They look pretty. My fingers look...pretty. I look pretty.

‘Is everything alright miss? Are you allergic to the nail polish?’ Crying again. A different sort of crying, not one I’m familiar with. ‘No ma’am. I’m not sure why I’m crying. Just ignore it, and give me the same hairstyle I came in with please. I’m happy with it.’ Not much room for a fashionable haircut under a helmet. Even in the same style, it looks completely different now.

Six thousand credits. Four month’s salary for a set of clothes and a deep clean. I’d have scoffed at that last week, but thinking of how Brayli’s going to react when she sees it is invigorating. It’s going to be great. ‘Hey lady, hand over your credstick!’

Wow, I even look rich enough to get mugged. A back alley is a back alley no matter what planet you’re on I suppose. It only ever makes the situation worse, but I can’t stop myself from laughing at this guy. I’ve had some desperate people rush me with a knife, but this is just ridiculous: he’s grip is loose, his stance is terrible, and that blade looks like it would struggle to cut bread, never mind skin. Oh well, what can you do?

Grab his wrist, angle the blade away, pull him in, punch him in the throat, let him down gently so he doesn’t get concussed by the ground. Over and done, simple as that. Nails are intact, suit is still clean. He’s reeling pretty hard, I should call him an ambulance. Done. What a way to cap off my trip.

I could go for a walk back to the spaceport. Get used to the way these new clothes fit, break in the boots. How to pass the time? Already got everything done today, no topics for a mental evaluation. Maybe a marching tune. It must have been ten years since I’ve whistled one of those. The imperial March is always a classic.

VII

Back home. Probably shouldn’t wear this suit out too much, I can leave it off for the night. It’s still a bit too early to go to bed though. Maybe I can get my workout in early, then spend the rest of the evening practicing with this new pistol. That sounds like a good way to cap off the day. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

#writing #star wars #my oc #oc #Koben Tarani #sapphic #transgender

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hamfamilyblog · 5 years ago

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Summer, 2019 Highlights:

We were able to go to the US for 6 weeks, and took the boys to Lake Powell for the first time with Grandma and Grandpa Ham, and a lot of other family and friends. We were able to go on a new, three story, beautiful house boat. We had great time. The kids tubed and practiced standing behind a blow up tube/ski trainer. The boys also went with dad on the surf wake behind the wave runner. There was also a fun water slide off the tallest story of the houseboat, and the boys really enjoyed spending time with their cousins, Stella, Winnie, and Koben, in addition to all the other children on the boat.

Ellis learned how to ride a bike without training wheels at 4 years old, in Colorado. He picked it up very quickly. We enjoyed being outside every day in Colorado and playing with cousin Opal who lives nearby Nana and Grandpa’s house. The boys really enjoyed listening to their Grandpa Bobby play them a song on the banjo or guitar every night before bed. They would dance around the living room. It was so cute. Flynn has a ukulele at our apartment in Dubai, and since we’ve been back to Dubai, he tells me he’s playing the banjo while he plays it.

Flynn (age 2) learned how to swim on his own in little spurts. He loves going under water, diving down, and swimming around. I call him my little “Nemo fishy.”

Ryker turned one while we were on our trip and got 4 new teeth. He now has 6 teeth (two on top and four on bottom). He is standing well, but hasn’t yet taken his first step. He continued to out eat both of his older brother combined, and his belly continues to grow! Ha

Auntie La La (my sister Lauren), had her first baby, and I was able to go to Texas to help her and meet baby Roman. I left the two older boys for 3 days with Grandma and Grandpa Ham in CA, and took Ryker with me. Baby Roman is the sweetest, cutest little guy. We had a good time. This was the first time I’ve ever left my kids with someone. I have never left them for longer than half a day with anyone. I was told they did well, and they had fun with their grandparents. When I got back to CA to see them, little Flynnie was so overcome with emotion, that he broke down crying and just kept saying, “my Mama; my Mama.” He couldn’t believe I was there. He kept touching my face and hugging me and crying. It was so touching and sweet and made me cry too. Later he told me, “Mom, you gone a long time.” He wouldn’t let me out of his sight, and kept saying, “My Mama.” Oh how I love my boys SO much. And, I love to be with them and spend time with them. I’m glad though that I was able to go help Lauren, because it would have been very difficult to help her with all three boys with me. We enjoyed the summer, and I ended up returning home with all three boys (ages 4, 2.5, and 1) all by myself. It is a direct flight from LA to Dubai (16 hours!!!). It was a daunting journey, but the boys did pretty well and there were lots of tender mercies I received. Joe, my father in-law, gave me a priesthood blessing before the journey, and the trip went about as smoothly as it could of. Lots of people were nice to me and helpful, and I immediately felt Heavenly Father’s hand in my journey when I saw where we were seated. It was the most perfect spot where we could have been seated given my situation. It was right at the font of the airplane to the far right. So in front of our seating was the open area where people can get up and walk around. So I could be up standing or walking and still see the boys and they could all get their own seat while I was standing (technically, Ryker was my lap child, but he is WAY too wiggly, so I strapped him in a car seat for a lot of the trip, and had Flynn be my lap child). I had to request that our meals be sent only two at a time, because I had to help the kids eat, and wouldn’t be able to if all the meals were given to me at once. Flynn was able to stand in front of Ryker who was strapped in the car seat, and play catch with him. It’s not allowed for kids to sleep on the floor, even though there is enough space in front of us. Well, the kids weren’t sleeping and were so exhausted, and ended up on the floor with a blanket and little pillow. Several flight attendants saw this and could of said something to make me move them and wake them up (this has always happened in the past), but they didn’t. I feel this was another tender mercy, because this made my trip easier. The flight attendants also probably felt bad for me. Ha. I probably slept off and on for about 3 hours on the 16-hour flight, so I was exhausted and felt very thankful and a bit emotional when I got off the plane. I said a silent prayer and immediately thanked my Heavenly Father for helping me get through it. My heart always feels so enlarged as I see the kids run to their dad and hug him. It is always a very happy, sweet reunion to be back with Mitch. We were away from him for three weeks this time. Honestly, though, it’s the week after, full of jet lag with all the kids that is the hardest for me. I can do anything for 16 hours and push through, but the jet lag after is what kills me. It’s been a week now that we’ve been back in Dubai and we are all still struggling. We are close to being in the correct time zone, but still not there. I can’t wait to be able to sleep a whole night again without waking up or being woken up at random early hours. Ellis starts preschool again next week for three mornings a week, and I will start work the week after, two mornings a week, at the hospital (Mediclinic City Hospital).

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lemonlipstickblog-blog · 6 years ago

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A weekend in Bilbao

Our little boy was only a few days old when his dad decided to schedule a trip to Bilbao for the end of March. At about six months old, it was the first time we would be leaving for the night - let alone three. After a few tears in the morning to say goodbye to the baby (from me obviously, he was totally fine) we headed to the airport with a heavy heart but also excited to discover this new place none of us had visited before.

The flight felt like a morning commute - it was barely 10am when we landed in Bilbao, where the sun was shining and not a cloud in sight.

From the airport, it’s very quick and easy to get to the city. We jumped into a bus - which cost €3 each - and after about 20 minutes, we did a grand entrance to the city. Bilbao surely has a sense of grandiose as it welcomes its guests through a beautiful bridge which offers the most stunning view of the city’s most famous landmark: the Guggenheim Museum. Designed by Daniel Buren, it is a stunning piece of architecture sitting by the river Neviour. Our bus dropped us near a tram station, and we jumped in it to get another stunning view of the city, its riverside.

Where to stay

We checked into Lô Bilbao, a nice hotel with great location in the Casco Viejo, the Old Town. Overlooking the Plaza Berria and its many bars and restaurants, it was perfect to sense the pulse of the city - a little less if you need total quietness to sleep.��

The city being rather small - a weekend is more than enough to see pretty much everything - you can’t really pick a bad location for your accommodation as long as you stay between the Casco Viejo and the San Mamés stadium.

What to do

Of course, you can’t come to Bilbao without visiting its crowning glory, the Guggenheim Museum. Designed by Frank Gehry, this magnificent building built in 1997 hosts modern and contemporary art, but it seems like the home of the art became more iconic that it art it is a home for. While we admired it plenty of times from the outside during our stay, we saved the visit for the last day. It wasn’t peak tourist season and we really enjoyed a feeling of space and tranquility while discovering all the secrets of the museum through the free audioguide.

Another mandatory attraction is the Funicular de Artxanda. Opened in 1915, this cable railway brings you to the top of Mount Artxanda, where you get a beautiful view of the city and take a quick stroll in the park.

The very centre is quite small and we really enjoyed walking around, going from bar to bar (more on that topic below), enjoying the relaxed pace of the city. A nice stop is the Mercado de la Ribera, a food market located right beside the river. The Azkuna Zentroa, a culture and leisure centre designed by Philippe Starck, is also worth the visit. Previously a corn exchange, the stunning venue opened in 2010 and consists of a cinema multiplex, a fitness centre, a library, showrooms, an auditorium, shops and a restaurant.

What we really enjoyed about Bilbao, apart from the beauty of the city and the fact that we were blessed with a gorgeous weather, was the fact that the people were incredibly nice. A random young man told us not to get a ticket for the tram when he saw us at the machine because for some reason it was free that day. In the bars, restaurants and shops, we didn’t get one bad experience. Overall, we found the Bilbao people very welcoming, helpful and genuine.

Where to eat

The question in Bilbao isn’t really where to eat, but where not to eat. The city overflows with bars serving tasty inexpensive wines by the glass as well as pintxos, the Basque country’s take on tapas. From simple mini sandwiches to wedges of tortilla or sophisticated shot glasses, every bars displays them on their counter to allow you to make your choice.

We tried several places around Ledesma, a small pedestrian street, Artajo, Lateria Ledesma, El Globo or Café Iruña just around the corner. In the Casco Viejo, we tried Gure Toki and Koben, both lovely. One of my favourite pintxos was the tortilla de cebolla (potato and onion omelette) from Lateria. Simple but so tasty, with a slightly runny centre, it was a pure delight. A goat’s cheese, ham, cherry jam and crispy onion bite from Gure Toki also impressed me.

The sweet speciality of Bilbao is the Carolina, a custard tart topped with a massive swirl of meringue - the Spanish answer to the Portuguese pasteis de nata. We tried one from Arrese and enjoyed it, but just not as much as the pasteis, which simply taste much finer.

While you can really enjoy some cheap and tasty food in Bilbao, the food scene also extends toward the other end of the spectrum price-wise, with a few Michelin-starred restaurants. We tried two during our weekend: Nerua, which is the restaurant of the Guggenheim museum, and Zortziko.

We went to Nerua on our first night. The restaurant opens at 8.30pm, and we were the first people push the door. We enjoyed an introduction to the kitchen by one the chefs, where we had our first bites - and probably our favourites: a cod fried ball, a leek broth and a piece of pork with crispy skin. After that, we continued our meal at our table, in a rather soulless room with very little ornament. We went for the 9 course menu for €110, or 9 products as it is called on the menu, since every plate is created around an ingredient. Among our favourites were the oyster, with egg yolk and rice crunch, the fried hake and a gorgeous corn bread. The yucca cake with banana ice cream and the sautéed leeks didn’t make any impression, and the lamb was a bit of a waste on us since none of us are very fond of it. Among the petits fours served with the coffee, a chocolate and lime cream finished the meal on a high.

The following day, we went for lunch at Zortziko, a more classic Michelin star restaurant with high ceilings and chandeliers on the walls. The contrast was stark with the contemporary minimalism of Nerua, but we didn’t find it unpleasant. We opted for the menu called by chef Daniel Garcia “A short trip but intense”, priced €65. We enjoyed our meal with a €40 Robatie Rioja, aptly advised by the sommelier.

While the shrimp ceviche with Moscatel ice cream was a bit sweet as a starter, we really loved the plankton ravioli served with laquer bacon. My main, a turbot served with pil pil and seasonal veggies, was absolutely delicious, and Damien loved his suckling pig with tomato chutney and crunchy bulgur. For dessert, the coconut mousse with lemon and lime jelly and crispy basil was a subtle dish with a lovely balance of sweet and tart flavours.

We enjoyed these two experiences with a slight preference for Zortziko, as the atmosphere, in spite of the classic decor, felt a little less uptight. Maybe the fact that we shared a bottle of wine at lunchtime made us quite relaxed.

Whether on a budget or a fuller wallet, Bilbao is a lovely place for a weekend break, as a couple or with a group of friends. Cheap wine, stunning architecture and a lively atmosphere: what more could you need?

#Bilbao #Travel #Weekend #Spain #Spanish food #Pintxos #Nerua #Zortziko #Wine #Carolina #Guggenheim

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phuketindex · 7 years ago

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Phuket Street Art just well known for 2 years, as 2 years ago the famous graffiti artist Alex Face (Patcharapol Tangreun) and Rukkit (Rukkit Kuanhawate) were join a project; F.A.T Phuket (Food Art Old Town) with “So Phuket Group”. At that time, the purpose was to promote about “City of Gastronomy Award” that Phuket received from UNESCO. The award is given to Phuket to show that Phuket is a creative city in the field of food science, so all paintings presented about story of Phuket local food.

The first project

Today I will show the second project at Phuket’s old town. It is not easy to find a car parking at the Old Phuket Town, I would like to recommend you to park at Wat Mongkol Nimit or Jui Tui Shrine car parking. For Wat Mongkol Nimit it very close to Phuket Old Town zone but you should avoid 15.30 – 17.30 (school’s finish time) and after 20.30 (temple’s gate close time). For Jui Tui Shrine’s parking it is a little bit longer distance, it is located on Krabi Road (near a junction).

Avoid 15.30 – 17.30 and after 20.30

Jui Tui Shrine parking is opposite “Mae Ya Nang Shrine”

Let’s get started, for this trip we start at Wat Mongkol Nimit. Then walk throught Soi Rommanee. Today the weather is very good, there are many Thai and foreign tourists here. At Phuket Old Town there are a lot of souvenir shops, ice cream shops and guest houses.

For the second project, all paintings was painted by 4-Studio’s student. The first painting is a child playing hide and seek at Soi Rommanee.

What do you play?

Can I join?

At Thalang Road near Soi Rommanee we can find some images of the first project too. At Phuket it is very Sunny, please prepare a wide-brimmed hat for this trip. Or you can buy here at Soi Rommanee, reasonable price.

First Project

Now we are at Thalang Road. The next station is on Phang Nga Road, keep walking there are many thing to do here. At Thalang Road, there are many fabric shops and Phuket-style dress shop too, you can buy your new Nyonya dress here.

Go to Thaihua Museum go straight / For Phang Nga Road turn left.

2nd of today is located at Phang Nga Road, this painting were painted near the first project (first project is “City of Gastronomy”), a painting was added to complete a story.

Grandma and kids

Can I put it here?

Help him to do O-tao.

The next one is a painting of a little girl who dreaming about Phuket local sweets. It is located on Rassada Road.

It is so hot today.

The next painting is at cafe’in, this say about Phuket’s sweet dish “O-Aew” … very big big one. “Oh Aew” is made from a mixture of Oh Aew seeds, banana and gelatin. Oh-Aew jelly is softer, stickier and more delicious than normal jelly, possibly because all the ingredients used in its making are natural.

It is so hot today.

I wanna eat too.

Next station, we go to Kajornrangsan Temple on Krabi road. The painting is a story of morning time at a school.

Krabi road

Surprise!!!

The last one at Koben Junction, the painting is about Phuket Vegetarian Festival, Child light firecrackers.

Watching parade

Noisy

Take a snap with street art paintings at The Old Phuket Town

Take a snap with street art paintings at The Old Phuket Town Phuket Street Art just well known for 2 years, as 2 years ago the famous graffiti artist Alex Face (Patcharapol Tangreun) and Rukkit (Rukkit Kuanhawate) were join a project; F.A.T Phuket (Food Art Old Town) with "So Phuket Group".

#Culture

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rdadhighazian · 8 years ago

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@Regrann from @natgeo - It's really hard to explain what it like to be this close to the king of beasts. Lions have a presence, a magnificent swagger that exudes superiority. It was quite a humbling feeling, being 10 feet away from this guy–in the safety of my little rental car. Kruger National Park, South Africa, is very accessible, you don't need a 4x4 vehicle, and it's a beautiful 4 to 5 hour drive from Johannesburg. On assignment for @natgeotravel #krugernationalpark For more images from Kruger follow @kengeiger BIG CAT WEEK started today Monday Feb 20th! on NG WILD - http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/wild/big-cat-week/ #bigcatweek~Adhi koben

#krugernationalpark #bigcatweek

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scrumpledorph-writes · 7 months ago

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Koben’s Fifth Anniversary (Epilogue)

Six in the morning. Sun creeping in through the windows. Brayli sleeping soundly next to me, and the sounds of seabirds barely breaching the closed window next to me. A special day; we’ve been together five years. We couldn’t get an official marriage license for obvious reasons, and we’ve never lived together on a planet that actually lines up with Coruscant Standard Time, but my insistence on keeping track doesn’t bother her.

Been just a little under two years that we’ve lived here. She kept talking about how much she’d like to sit on a beach with me, so I worked double time to save up enough credits for a seaside property in the outer rim as a surprise for our third anniversary. Took an hour of insisting that the new blaster sling she bought me was just as good.

Spilled a lot of blood to get here, not a drop I regret. Couldn’t go legal with the hunts, but I could afford to be selective: nobody innocent, or trying to break from the life. I imagine the waves have washed it away by now anyway.

Vranki was disappointed to see me go, but considering how much of that work I did was for her, she didn’t begrudge me. Haven’t really kept up with her, but from what Jaxon tells me she’s doing well. Folded her operation in with his for security’s sake, and her girls have never been safer. She says my legacy inspires her men, for whatever that’s worth.

Since they’ve hardly got any law to speak of anyway, Jaxon figured he might as well make his own. I’m sure he’s embellishing a bit, but from everything he says it seems to be working out: plenty of volunteers who are sick of getting mugged, which is good because half of his father’s old men quit when he started telling them they couldn’t terrorize people any more. Good kid.

I didn’t think she could get prettier than she was when we first met, but the ocean climate has been great for Brayli’s skin. Brighter coloration, softer texture, and her head tentacles have gotten a bit bigger. She says it’s taken a lot of aches and pains out of her too. She says even I’ve gotten a little softer around the edges, though I can’t really tell.

We both took the day off. I put the bounty hunting behind me when we moved, this place isn’t as lawless as Doobinth. Not Imperial, some local government that’s just a tributary – but I figured I’d have ended up in jail if I kept working.

Didn’t think I had any other marketable skills at first. Tried to learn Brayli’s trade, but whenever a customer raised their voice with her I could feel my blood pressure spike as I came over. She said that sweet as it was, towering over rude customers was bad for business, and putting up with them was just part of the job.

Wanted to open up a self defence class, but we talked it over and figured that someone might recognize the techniques, start asking about where I learned them. Decided to open a blaster service shop instead, right next door to her speeder shop. I thought my squad mates could be neglectful in their maintenance: every other month I have to tell someone they’d be better off throwing their blaster out and buying a new one.

For as wonderful as living with her has been, some of the adjustments to civilian life have been hard. I’ve spent so long interacting with the public primarily through intimidation and force that it’s been hard to stop. We figured that those impulses would fade once I got out of bounty hunting, picked up a new life – I even cut the practice from my daily workouts – but it’s all still there.

A speeder will backfire when we’re in public and I’ll start a threat assessment, I’ll feel my hands creeping towards my belt for a blaster that isn’t there when someone raises their voice to me, and when someone pointed a blaster at me a few months ago trying to rob my shop – all I can remember is the police needing to call an ambulance.

I started practicing again after that. It takes the edge off – reintroduces discipline to those instincts. Even taught Brayli a few of the basics, just enough to defend herself. She never needs it though, always manages to deescalate things with a joke or a laugh. I tried learning how, but it never seems to come out right. It’s easier to keep them under control when she’s around.

Brayli always felt rushed when I meticulously planned out our holidays, so nothing special today. We’re making a nice breakfast, then maybe we’ll go spend the day on the beach. I’d figured it would lose its appeal with how available it is, but somehow it never does.

She likes to catch up on the news while we eat. I never bothered, learned from my time in the military that one officer is just as good as any other, so it always just seemed like one big distraction. Guess with how things have been going for The Empire lately though, it’s worthwhile.

They’ve been in decline for a few years now. Guess they over-expanded, made enough enemies for them to all get together and fight back on a united front. They put on a brave face over the official channels, of course, but I know the Imperial propaganda machine well enough to trust the shadow broadcasts at this point.

Not sure what’s so great about The Republic that it deserves to come back, but not my fight any more. They’ve even got a few Jedi if some of the more fringe networks are to be believed, so how good can they be? Whatever. Best case scenario, they both annihilate each other and systems get to self govern, maybe coalesce into a few smaller unions.

‘Hey sugar? You’re gonna want to read this.’ “The Empire has been officially disbanded. Following the signing of a peace treaty, The New Republic will be officially taking power over all Imperial jurisdiction in the coming months. Amnesty is being declared for all enemies of The Empire, provided they commit no crimes against The New Republic.”

‘Can you verify that somewhere else? That could be speculation.’ I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it. Not that I’m against it, but that I can’t let myself have that kind of hope without knowing for certain. We’ve eked out a comfortable enough existence on the fringes, but if this is true we could do anything. The galaxy would be the limit.

‘That was an official broadcast. Real as it gets.’ Official Imperial channels. I suppose not Imperial now. Going to take a while to adjust to that. But, more importantly, it’s all over. Even with how much distance we’ve put between ourselves and my old life, I’d sometimes worry that it was right behind me, another lesser Blackmire that I’d forgotten about would show up at my door with a squad and drag me off to a cell.

But now I’m free. Really free, no strings attached. Amnesty. An official, on the record, Imp- Republic legislative seal stamped pardon. I don’t even know what to say. There isn’t anything to say. She’s smiling at me. Smiling like I’ve only seen a few times, she’s just as happy as I am. Happy for me. I love her so much.

We’ve been smiling at each other for a minute, just taking it in. The words are finally coming to me. ‘Wow. You really outdid yourself with this anniversary gift.’ Can’t think of anything else to do about it but joke right now. There’ll be time for real plans later, but right now we have an entire day together to celebrate. ‘Happy anniversary. I love you.’ ‘Love you too, sugar.’

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #sapphic #transgender

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scrumpledorph-writes · 7 months ago

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Koben’s Final Battle (Putting Her Past To Rest)

Just past third sundown, doubt anyone else can see much of anything by now. Fully integrated night vision doesn’t make up for everything The Empire’s done to me, but at least I can put it to good use now. My armour won’t stick out so much against the sand either. No way the regular Troopers ever got something this advanced.

Glad Jaxon brought a more suitable troop transport – My speeder caps out at four seats, and Vranki insisted on coming along to “watch the fun”. At least she brought a blaster. ‘Stop it here Jaxon. We need to go the rest of the way on foot.’ Can see the top of his ship just over this dune, no way we can let him see our vehicle coming, that would completely give us away. His ship’s not too big, couldn’t possibly fit more than a squad of Troopers comfortably. Real step down from what he used to field, bet he never let it go.

Two out front, guess they’re the girls’ problem. ‘Vranki, are you sure about this part? We’re pretty far out of town; if I were stationed somewhere this remote I’d be highly suspicious of visitors.’ Blasters are up. I should keep a sight trained on them, just in case things go wrong.

‘You wouldn’t be happy to see a pair of beautiful, flirty women saunter over to spice up your long, boring night shift? I guess that’s why you were an elite – just relax and keep watching.’ She’s right, they’ve stowed their blasters. These girls are good: I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I can already see the Troopers’ body language relaxing.

They’re deserting their posts, just like that, to wander off with these women they just met. Unbelievable. Looks like Blackmire still runs a pretty loose ship after all. ‘How long will your girls be able to keep them distracted?’ I can’t imagine even the sloppiest Trooper is going to ignore blaster fire.

‘Well, they’ll be injecting those boys with some of my strongest stock as soon as they’re out of sight, so at least the rest of the night. Forever if they choke on their own tongues.’ Certainly an effective use of resources. Should give them a few minutes to get that done, go over things with Jaxon.

‘While the girls finish their job, I just want to clarify our procedure one more time. Stormtroopers have a high pain threshold and their armour is designed to dissipate blaster fire. Try to keep this quiet as long as you can, knock them out with blunt impact or stab them in the gaps between plates – but if it turns into a firefight be sure to aim for center of mass and double tap.’

He’s lightly armoured. Double layered leather over the torso, and a solid pauldron over the dominant shoulder – but clearly an outfit that favours agility over protection. We’ll be in a tight environment, so that will be of limited help, and I have no intention of trading his life for Brayli’s. ‘Right, got it. Stick to what you taught me, save the flashy stuff for the holovids.’ At least he understands the situation.

The girls are coming back, signalling the all clear. They’d make good assassins. I suppose that means it’s time to go. Hold on just a little longer Brayli.

Can hear laughter coming from the front of the ship. Probably playing cards to pass the time. Should check the back first, that’s where brigs usually are – and it’s good to eliminate the obvious before starting to jump to the fringes. If we’re lucky we can get this done with minimal casualties. There’s only one person on this ship I want to kill.

His sense of style is awful. Brayli makes the clutter work because it’s all her own creations, but just lining the walls with a bunch of expensive pieces of art with no sense for how they compliment each other like this – just to surround yourself with wealth: it’s absolutely tacky. Even I can tell that.

Passing by personal rooms now. Jaxon’s followed my lead well so far, but need to give him a finger over the mouth just in case. For as much as we need to keep it quiet, we can’t linger either; a single Trooper coming out could completely blow our cover. Nine standard Imperial Steel doors and one gold plated, subtle as ever Blackmire. If we get lucky I can strangle him to death in his sleep on the way out.

Into the cargo hold. One Trooper doing inventory. Usually one of the safest jobs on a ship, but not tonight. Pooling blood would be an easy giveaway for anyone passing by, so a choke hold will have to do. A shame all my requests to put a padded neck lining on the standard Stormtrooper uniform were never taken seriously, the seam where the helmet connects is effectively unguarded.

This is one of the things it’s hard to practice alone, but I still remember it well enough. His training isn’t bad, he went for his blaster right away – but Jaxon’s got quick hands and good instinct. Trying for my eyes, crotch; all the usual desperate last resorts. Not getting through plate though.

This is more personal than I usually like my work to be. Quick and professional is one thing, but holding him like this, feeling the life drain out of him so agonizingly slowly as his struggling abates – I didn’t used to flinch at things like this, but now it makes me sick. I suppose that’s a good thing in the abstract, but right now I need to power through it, for Brayli. If he wakes up angry and confused before we’re gone then all this effort will be for nothing.

He’s limp. We don’t have the time for me to keep the hold up until he dies. Going to have to snap his neck. Even through two sets of plate, I can feel his life in my hands right now. Don’t look under the helmet: I’m wearing the armour, I can slip back into the mindset. This isn’t a person with hopes and dreams, who doesn’t even know who I am or why we’re fighting. It’s an enemy combatant.

I can’t do it. He’s unconscious, and there’s an empty crate and some ties. It’s not perfect, there’d be one less loose end if I killed him – but I can practically see straight through that helmet to the person underneath. His only crime has been following orders – and Blackmire gave them to him.

‘Hey Koben, you alright? Your hands were shaking, even through the suit. They never did that in any of your old footage.’ Stand up, step back; breathe. I left him in recovery position, he’ll live. He was in my way, and I got him out of my way using the least violence possible. He’ll wake up with a headache, confused and maybe embarrassed – and then he’ll go on living. Just like me. ‘I’m fine. Growing pains is all.’

III

Must be getting near the back of the ship now, feels like we’ve walked about that much distance. It could be a single person cell, which would leave room for a little more distance I suppose. A bathroom, slight surprise to see it this far from the lounging area. Can’t hear anything from it, best to just keep moving.

The brig! It’s big enough for several, but only has one guest. She’s conscious, sitting up, no visible lacerations – and smiling. I’m so glad she’s alright. More than I can say, more than I can think, I just have to feel it. ‘Hey sugar. Fancy meeting you here.’ Lower than her usual boisterousness, but just hearing it still makes my heart swell.

I know it’s not a productive use of time but I can’t stop myself from hugging her. All I can feel through the plates is pressure, but I know what it signifies off by heart already. She feels like lazy afternoon cuddling, and barely fitting into a cramped speeder together, and laughing at stupid jokes, and everything wonderful in my life. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish a Jedi were here: they could rip the bars off or cut them clean in half so I could get her out of here and focus on wringing Blackmire’s neck.

‘We’re here to spring you, where’s the jailor?’ I suppose Jaxon wouldn’t have as intense of a reaction to her as I do. Good to have someone bring things back on track. We’ll have time for this later. It is strange that she’s unguarded, even low risk prisoners usually had at least one person on active guard at all times.

‘I’m right here.’ Trooper in the doorway. Key card dangling from his belt. Can’t afford to shoot him, and can’t expect to get him in a proper grapple. Just need to go for a tackle and try to control his arm, keep him from setting off the alarm. The fall knocked his helmet off, now I can – Stillwater?

‘Stillwater, is that you?’ His eyes are like combat knives, sharpened even more by suspicion. ‘Who the hell are you, how do you know my name?’ Don’t have the free hand to look him in the eye. ‘Jaxon, could you take my helmet off?’ I hardly recognized his voice, he sounds like he’s absolutely gone through it. I’d have figured he’d want nothing to do with Blackmire, especially after the trial.

‘It’s me: Koben Tarani. I’d say Lance Corporal, but that’s not the case any more.’ Recollection. I never forgot that drop, and it looks like neither did he. ‘Tarani? I – right, I’d heard you turned into a girl at some point. Wow, you look...haggard.’ Haggard. I suppose it would take a soldier to see that. ‘What the hell are you doing here? And, congratulations on the promotion I guess.’

He doesn’t even know why he’s out here. That he’s hunting me, and the woman he’s locked up is only the bait. ‘It’s a long story. To keep it short, you’re holding my girlfriend, who hasn’t committed any crime under Imperial law.’ That the courts are aware of, anyway.

‘Really? Blackmire said we were hunting an extremely dangerous criminal, and that this woman was her accomplice.’ Half truths, but overblown. I am dangerous, butuntil this – I’d done everything in my power not to disturb The Empire while I ran away, precisely so I could fall down their list of priorities as time went on.

‘You and I both know Blackmire says a lot of things that aren’t true.’ Doesn’t seem like he’s changed much, I feel confident saying that. Stillwater’s looking a lot less hostile. ‘I want to get off you so we can have a less constrained conversation. Would you mind me taking off your gauntlet just to be sure you can’t trigger the alarm?’

‘Heh, it really is you Tarani; never known anyone else that anal. Yeah, go ahead.’ Designs on the armour haven’t changed at all, still know the procedures like the back of my hand. Jaxon can hold onto this. ‘I...don’t necessarily not believe you, but it’d be disobeying direct orders to let her go. You know I can’t just do that.’ He said I looked haggard, but serving under Blackmire has put him through the ringer now that I’m looking at him.

‘Stillwater, I haven’t been entirely honest so far. I deserted five years ago. My commanding officer was going to murder a child, and I stopped her.’ Shock, disbelief. Betrayal. I can see the whole process playing out behind his eyes. ‘I’ve learned a lot of things as a civilian, and one of the most important has been that The Empire doesn’t care. Not about you, not about me. The whole reason you’re out here is because Blackmire’s a stupid petty bastard who’s been holding onto a two decade grudge.’

‘Two decade – we’re hunting you?! I can’t – that’s not...Give me a second to think about this Tarani.’ Stillwater was always a good soldier, and a good man. If there’s anything left of the him I knew that hasn’t been stamped down into nothingness by The Empire, we should be able to come to an agreement. If he’s headed down the same path I went, maybe I can even save him some time.

‘Alright, I get it. Blackmire’s been working us like dogs telling us we’re hot on the heels of an extremely dangerous criminal for the last six months. You are dangerous, and you are a criminal, technically – but you haven’t done anything since you deserted to warrant this.’ I knew he’d listen to reason. ‘I’m the second in command; squad leader, and I have the authority to declare this whole mission a waste of resources. I can’t imagine anyone but him complaining about it.’

If he won’t be able to come after me, maybe I can even let Blackmire go. As much as he has it coming, killing him would certainly undermine my position of not being worth pursuing. ‘Here’s the key card. I’ll pretend I didn’t see this, wipe the security footage, and you two can go home. With your girl gone, I’ll be able to call this off tomorrow morning. He’d need a real miracle to get permission to hunt you down a second time.’

Finally, I’ll be able to be done with The Empire. No more ghosts left to haunt me. Lock glides smoothly, let’s go home. ‘Oh, uhh, good evening sir. I was just-’ Blaster shots. One after the other. A double tap, but ringing out in slow motion. Stillwater’s falling. I have a moment, but I can’t seize it. All the well oiled machinery I’ve maintained for years is seizing up – the gears coated in despair. So this is how that feels. Can barely take my helmet back from Jaxon. It can’t protect me from the pain anyway.

‘I never liked Stillwater anyway. Good to finally have an excuse; he reminded me of you.’ One more shot, to the head. His own man. ‘Nice to see you again Tarani, right on schedule. I’m sure you’re dull-wittedly attempting to comprehend how I figured out you were here.’ Now I want to kill him again. ‘It’s really rather quite simple: your teary eyed reunion with your old comrade here was so loud that I came to investigate while I was getting ready for bed.’

Footsteps coming down the hallway, the rest of the squad. Damn it, we’re trapped. I could maybe survive if I started shooting right this second, my armour would be obliterated but just might hold – but Jaxon and Brayli would be easy targets. ‘Hold your fire men. This is our target, but the hunt has been a long time coming. I want to savour it.’ Of course. The only thing worse than him killing me is him gloating about it first.

‘Before I kill you, and make no mistake: you will be dying here, and I will be delivering the killing blow – I feel it only appropriate that we do a little catching up!’ Condescension dripping from his mouth. It would almost be worth getting shot up just to kill him while it happens.

‘After you destroyed my career prospects, I was a broken man. I fell deep into a pit of existential ennui. Vice after vice I ran through to forget the pain of my shame, spending thousands upon thousands of credits when all I needed was time. Time for the emotions to fade away. All but one: hate.’ A familiar sounding trajectory.

‘I kept abreast of your exploits, even the ones that were supposed to be classified – not like the Imperial bureaucracy did a good job of hiding it. Despising you was the only thing keeping me going, for years. Watching you gain my glory, with my Troopers �� stealing the recognition I deserved!’ Obsession, single minded fixation, self destruction. I’ve heard it all.

‘But then – then I was blessed with good fortune. You. Screwed. Up. Finally you fell to the level of a common Trooper. Even I didn’t have the credits and contacts to dig up the details on that incident, but I was nonetheless presented with a plain truth: my arch nemesis, the one and only person in this world who truly rose to deserve my scorn – was now an enemy of the state.’ Troopers are getting restless.

Just by the way they’re assembled I can tell he doesn’t engender any real loyalty, just the lash of authority. If one decides to cut this short and blast me, maybe I can take advantage of the confusion. ‘So I spent five years clawing my way back in. Looking up what – exactly – the conditions of my verdict were, finding the one loophole I could jump through, and throwing myself into my work to make it happen.’

‘In a way, I suppose I have to thank you. With the prospect of finally being here at the end of the tunnel, I truly put in my finest work for The Empire on the path to this very moment. They say a poor craftsman blames his tools, but let me just say now: these degenerates certainly weren’t much help.’ He doesn’t even realize how delusional he sounds. His body looks well into his sixties: graying hair, slumped posture, sunken in eyes. Everything thrown into the furnace of obsession because he just couldn’t let the past go. Two weeks ago I wouldn’t even have recognized anything wrong with it.

‘And now that I’ve taken the opportunity to thoroughly appreciate this moment, there is the unfortunate matter of that armour of yours. I don’t know precisely how many shots it would take to kill you with this ceremonial sidearm, and so I must make use of my underlings. Please riddle her with blaster fire now. You don’t even have to avoid shooting the other two, so it should be something you louts are capable of.’ Just from their body language I can tell they don’t want to do it.

I’d be doubtful if any more of them ever served with me, but with how much abuse he’s put himself through, I can only assume this is a tiny fraction of the abuse he’s heaped on them. That’s it. This is the longest shot I’ve ever tried for, but I’ve got a lot of practice.

‘Belay that order Troopers. As a member of the Purge Corps, I outrank him.’ A ridiculous assertion. Completely absurd, I modified this armour until I could plainly recite at least half a dozen dress code violations from memory. Then again, most people don’t read their manuals.

A dry chuckle, apathetic shrugs of the shoulders. Even a knowing elbow jab between comrades. Direct hit. ‘Don’t – this is – Are you all stupid?! Did you take turns shooting each other in the head when I wasn’t looking?! When was the last time you saw a uniform that was painted fucking purple?! Shower her with blaster fire now!’

‘I dunno sir, the silhouette lines up. Looks like a Purge Trooper to me. Don’t really get to see them too often, maybe those are just ceremonial decorations.’ This is a complete farce and they know it, but it’s been a long time coming. Just need to give them enough plausible deniability to escape a court marshalling.

‘In the wake of your squad leader’s death, I’m taking temporary command of this squadron. I’ll need to have a discussion with Bounty Acquisition Agent Blackmire to determine an appropriate course of action. Please do not disturb us. Dismissed.’ They’re filing through the door. The brig is closed. Just the four of us.

To his credit, I figured he’d be a lot more cowardly without his Troops. He managed to get a shot off before I got control of his wrist – it tickled. Finally I get to settle things. This stupid grudge that he’s kept burning for more than half my life. That he threw all of himself into. Only thirty five, but already a frail old man with nothing left. ‘Go on then Tarani, I never figured you for the gloating type. Do it. Kill me already.’ He’s pathetic.

I pity him. I’ve never understood that emotion before, but here it is. ‘Oh come on, don’t tell me you aren’t holding yourself back from it right now, savouring the moment just like I was.’ He’s been living in my shadow for decades. One event he refused to move on from. Looking at him is like looking into a mirror. A dark, twisted, broken mirror.

‘Do it! Settle the score! Fell the one and only person to ever rival you!’ I settled this grudge fifteen years ago, in the courthouse. This doesn’t mean a damn thing to me any more. I already won. Killing him would just let him salvage his dignity. He thinks we’re rivals? What a joke. I almost feel bad about it, but I can’t help laughing.

‘Get out of here Anton. It’s over. I’ve beaten you twice already, go do something with your life that doesn’t revolve around me.’ Doubt he’ll take that advice, but figure it’s the least I can do to give it to him.

‘You’re making a mistake Tarani! You’ve gone soft, and I’ll be back with an ar-’ A blaster shot. Another one. Brayli’s firing them. I was trying to be nice, but I can’t quite say I’m torn up about this. I didn’t want to do it, but if I’ve ever met anyone who deserved a few to the chest; it was Blackmire.

Not bad center of mass shots, though it’s pretty hard to miss at this range. Doubt he had any armour under his uniform, but I can’t fault her for making sure. She’s still going. He’s not even twitching any more. Maybe I should grab the blaster before it overheats, burns her fingers.

‘Sorry sugar. I know you were having a moment, but that scrawny sack of shit trashed my apartment and held me here all night. Even worse, he did it to hurt you. Nobody hurts my girlfriend.’ If we were alone I’d make love to her on the spot.

‘No – now that I think about it; you were right. I was letting my emotions get the better of me, still getting used to listening to them. This was never going to end without one of us dead.’ He doesn’t even have the quiet dignity most corpses do. Hopefully he’s at least a good meal for the carrion animals. A knock at the door.

‘Just checking in, everything good in there? Sounds like your meeting’s over.’ I suppose I have to keep up the charade so they can make a good report. Doubt they need any convincing, so let’s go with the standard protocol for covering up an assassination.

‘Yes. Blackmire’s blaster suffered a spontaneous discharge, and from there; a chain reaction. I suspect it was due to poor maintenance. He was dead before he hit the ground, so I didn’t bother calling for a medic.’ There, those are all the keywords officers like to hear before sweeping an incident under the rug.

‘Ah, I see. Sorry to hear it. Guess I’m in charge once you head out then?’ Ambitious. Hopefully he has better things to do than chase ghosts. Purge Trooper Tarani is dead, after all. I just share a name with her.

‘Before I relinquish command, I have one order. Ensure Stillwater receives a suitable burial.’ Tight, earnest salute. Probably the first one this soldier’s given in years. Never thought I’d be relieved to step out of an Imperial ship onto loose sand. Don’t even need to give the signal, Brayli’s the reason we came here. Seeing us hanging off of each other should get the point across.

Can hear the engine starting up behind us. After spending long enough around them, I learned to identify each Imperial ship by sound. Hopefully I never hear another one again. Vranki and her girls are coming out from behind the dune. ‘Koben! Not a bad job by the looks of things. I don’t even see any blood on you, which is a first. I trust The Empire is out of our hair?’

Ever the pragmatist. A nod will suffice. ‘It’s done. It’s also late. I’d like to invite you all to my house. It’s very sparsely furnished, and out in the middle of nowhere – but I recently made some renovations on it and I’d be honoured if you all came and saw them.’

Odd stares from the girls. Jaxon understands what I’m trying to say. ‘Yeah, I’d love to swing by your place, for a little while anyway. Do kinda gotta be back at the manor at some point though.’ With how much time he’s no doubt spending trying to establish his rule over his new men, I almost feel bad for bringing him along, especially since he didn’t even get to shoot anybody. Like he said though, that’s what friends are for.

‘Now that you mention it sugar, it is getting pretty late. I suppose I’ll just have to stay the night at your place.’ Am I so easy to read, even through the helmet? That’s exactly what I had planned. It’s pitch black out, but that smile of hers is so bright it might as well be a fourth sun.

‘This is sounding like more of a friend’s only affair. I think my girls would like to get back to civilization, to the extent that Dunton qualifies – and I feel like visiting your personal abode might be overstepping the bounds of our professional relationship. Let me make a call.’ I won’t push her. She worded it politely, but there was a firmness to her tone. She’s still a crime boss after all.

Good to see Jaxon’s speeder truck. Not enough room for three in the front, but plenty of room in the back. ‘Jaxon, does that truck have a separator between the compartments? Brayli and I could use some privacy. I’ll plug in the address before we go, but it’s a long drive.’ I suppose Jaxon must have read that as an innuendo. My fault. All I wanted to do was cuddle, but this gonkrock isn’t bad listening.

I’ve never felt this good before. There have been a lot of highs lately, but even while I was enjoying them there was a little part of me that was doing damage control for when it eventually came crashing down. I think I left it back on the ship, with Blackmire. Can’t think of a situation where I’d ever need it again. That’s what these two are for.

END

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #cw: death #cw: violence #sapphic #transgender

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scrumpledorph-writes · 8 months ago

Text

Koben’s Return Home (It Is A Home Now)

These last few days have felt like no more than a few hours. I didn’t even think to ask Brayli if it was alright to stay at her apartment for this long, and she hasn’t brought the subject up either. Still, I’ve had enough time to heal, and I’d hate to make her late for work tomorrow – it’s about time I packed up my things and headed home. We can always visit, or holo-chat, or leave each other messages. Maybe I can even host her at my place, if she’d like to see the dunes.

‘I’ve had a wonderful time, but with all of my things here, your apartment is starting to feel rather small. I should take them back home, and considering how hard some of these would be to replace, I should probably stay with them too.’ That sounds like you’re never planning to leave. ‘Oh, but – I don’t need to watch them all the time. I’ll come to visit, of course; you know that my work schedule is flexible.’ That gentle smile, same as always.

‘Don’t worry sugar, I getcha. Y’ain’t gotta justify needing some alone time. I know I can be a lot sometimes.’ ‘You’re exactly as much as I want.’ For all she’s done for me, the least I owe her is to tell her exactly how much she means to me, every opportunity I get.

‘Thanks, sugar. Though, next time you show up at my door – try to do it conscious, okay?’ She always knows how to make my worries feel like they’re nothing at all. ‘I’ll try my best. Considering that and the bounty hunter incident, I must look pretty bad at my job.’ ‘Nah. I know how someone who’s bad at your job looks sugar.’ ‘Which is?’ ‘Through a cybereye, if they’re lucky.’ If one of my squadmates made that joke I’d have just rolled my eyes, but I can’t help laughing at it from her.

‘Oh, yeah, one last thing sugar; I made you something.’ ‘When did you manage that? We’ve barely spent an hour apart since I arrived.’ ‘I made it last week. I – well, I kinda figured I wouldn’t see you again, so I wanted something to remind myself of you.’ She really is too good for me. I can almost feel tears welling up just hearing her say that. ‘I see. I never would have thought to do something like that, but I’d love to see it.’ ‘Yeah, I put it away to not ruin the surprise, lemme go grab it real quick.’

This isn’t like her usual sculptures. Her art certainly isn’t anything I’d see in an Imperial gallery, but it communicates its subject adequately. This just looks like a sheet of off colour glass shards glued together on a stand. ‘I appreciate it, the fact that you made it, and that you want me to have it means more to me than I can describe – but I don’t really know what it is.’ ‘Here sugar, hold it up facing the wall.’ Oh. It’s beautiful.

‘Even under that big suit of yours, I could tell you really seemed to be enjoying the sunset on our first date. It obviously doesn’t look quite as majestic, but-’ I can’t possibly do anything but kiss her after she made me something so beautiful. She made it out of love; broke off a little piece of herself for me to keep forever, and that makes it her best work. I’ll have to find a way to do the same for her some day. Maybe I should take up carving, I keep my knife plenty sharp.

‘I love it. I love you. Thank you so much for making it. I’ll put up a shelf under the window so I can see the light shine through it every night.’ ‘No problem sugar. Anyway, last sun’s going down – you should probably get going.’ If we said everything we wanted to I don’t think I’d ever get to leave. There’ll be time to later. We have all the time in the galaxy now. ‘Agreed, call me when you’re off work tomorrow.’

Barely have enough room for all these things in my speeder. For not having a license, Jaxon drives pretty well. Can’t see any damage that couldn’t be explained by regular desert sands scraping across it. I’m sure Brayli has opinions on how to keep one in good working order, and it would certainly be a benefit to know – I should ask her some time.

Still not used to driving across these dunes without my helmet on. On the one hand, it’s nice to see what they look like without that pinkish tinge of the visor – on the other, all this dry wind in my eyes is horrible. Definitely not a fan of open topped vehicles. I should buy some goggles, but for now I’ll just wear the helmet the rest of the way.

Feels different to wear it now, thinking on it. Isn’t as comfortable as it used to be, but I’ve felt more comfortable with it off lately – guess I’m finally growing out of it. Wistful sentimentality aside, it still offers very good protection; and my line of work requires that. Maybe that repaint I’ve been thinking of will help.

Back at the house. It looks just like I left it: empty. Easy to get everything put back into place, especially with how little space it all takes up. At least I have one thing to help fill it, and it almost reaches the window if I put it on the trunk. Good enough for now. I’ve never really paid much mind to how my living quarters looked before. I guess that’s what makes somewhere home.

For as nice as it was to cuddle her to sleep, Brayli’s bed didn’t do me any favours. Good to spend the night in mine. If I could get her waking up in it with me, that would be ideal – wouldn’t want to put her through the commute to work though. I tentatively own as much of the area around this house as I bother to claim, so we could just build a speeder garage out here, but then she’d probably have no customers. I should talk to her about this some time.

Have enough credits for the foreseeable future, so I can spend the day on more menial tasks. Already got my armour patched up at her place, but I’ve been too busy to check my messages lately. Brayli sent me a lot last week. One every day. We’re together again, no reason to listen to them; it’d just be hurting myself over nothing, and I’m sick of doing that.

Oh! Those reinforced doors and windows finally arrived, perfect. No more shutters blowing open late at night, and I can’t imagine anyone getting through these without waking me up. If customizing your house makes it home, then I guess I’m still most at home in a fortress. Waiting for pickup, but I should call ahead just so I can make sure they’re waiting for me on arrival.

‘Herbo’s Home Hardware, whaddaya need?’ ‘I’m calling about an order for a steel reinforced door, lock, and shutter set. I received a message that they were ready for pickup a few days ago, but I was too busy at the time. My apologies.’ ‘Hey no problem lady, half the time we only find out a customer won’t be picking up when we see their name in the obits.’ He’s laughing, but given how violent things seem to be around here I’m not sure that was a joke. On the other hand, I am a bounty killer, so my perspective might be skewed.

‘I’m realizing I don’t have a speeder truck to pick them up with. Is there any way I could rent one?’ ‘We deliver for a fee.’ They’re civilians, but I really don’t want to leave any more of a paper trail than I already have. Better to never need these upgrades in the first place if I can manage it. ‘No, that’s unnecessary. I can pick them up myself, unload them, then return the truck.’

‘What, were you planning to install them yourself too? You know you already paid for the work, right? No refunds, by the way.’ That would be difficult, I never took structural engineering. How do I phrase this request without being too obvious?

‘Can I ask that your men ride in the back of the truck with the merchandise while I drive, then I’ll return them the same way?’ This is getting convoluted. ‘Okay lady, I think I’m starting to pick up what you’re putting down. You’re one of those discrete types, right?’ ‘Correct.’ I should have figured they’d have accommodations for underworld customers around here.

‘Right, gotcha – say no more. Yeah it’s an extra fee, but you can have the work done by droids. They drive out, do the job, come back, we wipe their memory banks. No muss, no fuss.’ Can hardly ask for more discretion than that, short of destroying the droids; and I don’t think that would be good for my professional reputation.

‘That sounds perfect, how much is that extra fee?’ ‘A thousand credits.’ Of course, borderline extortion. The original charge was only three hundred. I suppose it’s a fair price to pay for peace of mind. ‘I accept. When would you like the payment?’

‘Just leave the credits in the truck and plug in an address, they’ll drive there and do the work. You don’t even need to be home.’ I don’t like the sound of unsupervised droids, not looking to get two timed again.

‘I’d prefer to drive them here and supervise their work.’ ‘Suit yourself lady, doesn’t matter to me. I just work the front counter.’ Their chain of command has a very weak link. ‘In that case, I should be there within half an hour. Goodbye.’

While I’m thinking of customizing this place, I am starting to miss the crowded, lived in feel of Brayli’s apartment. I’d reign it in a fair amount, bumping into things in the dark wasn’t any fun, but just being able to stare from wall to ceiling to floor in almost every direction from the center of the room feels...hollow, now that I know what other options there are. I should buy some furniture while I’m out.

III

This place is, well, it’s what’s available I suppose. Used to bigger depots and warehouses for this sort of thing, but I guess I’m not done tempering my expectations for a planet this far out. ‘Hey there, you picking up the doors?’ ‘I am. Before I do, I’d like to see if you have a few other items I need.’ ‘Course, no rush, take your time.’

I just realized: everything I ordered is stainless steel, that’ll be corroded beyond recognition within a year. Need to paint them, but not sure what colour I should use. Freshly painted doors would also probably look out of place next to the aging stone, which means that would need painting too. I should call Brayli, ask her what she’d like.

Never actually called her while she was in the shop before. I don’t think she’ll mind, but I do hope she’s free to talk. ‘Hey sugar, what’s up?’ ‘I’m sorry to bother you while you’re at work, are you available for an involved conversation right now?’ I know that mechanical work can be very intensive.

‘Sure, you caught me during some diagnostic tests. What’d you want to talk about?’ Usually mechanics would shoo me away during diagnostic work – said they needed to focus. Maybe she’s just that good. ‘I need to buy paint for my new doors to keep them from corroding, and I think that would make them look out of place without also painting the rest of the exterior. I wanted your opinion on what colours you think I should buy.’

‘Aww, sugar – I’m flattered. I’m not much of a painter though.’ ‘Really? I figured with your work in speeders you’d have some opinions.’ The other thing mechanics always used to do was complain about the aesthetics of Imperial vehicles. I always thought they looked fine.

‘I’ve got some time, we can brainstorm. What’re you hoping for, what colors do you like?’ That’s a good question. The exterior does serve a practical purpose – it’d be good for it to blend in with the surrounding sands to make it harder to spot from a distance or during an overhead scan. The inside I could really do anything with.

‘I just figured out the exterior, I’m going to go with a sandy colour. Talking to you about it did help though, so thank you for that. The inside I don’t have very strong opinions on. What would you like?’ Maybe we could paint it up like an ocean, remind her of home.

‘Aww, well, it’s your place sugar, I wouldn’t want to be making decisions for you.’ She doesn’t seem to realize how much she factors into these decisions. ‘I want it to be your place too some day, or at least to have you come over and enjoy it with me sometimes.’

‘Wow, really? I mean, that’s really sweet sugar, don’t get me wrong – but I kinda figured you liked having your own little space to go back to.’ Experiencing her home made me realize just how little there was to mine. I want nothing more than to welcome her into it.

‘Spending the last two days with you made me realize just how empty my life was, and my home is a part of that. I want you to help me fill it in – that ornament was a start, but if there’s anything I can do to make you feel more welcome in it; please tell me.’

I hope that didn’t come across too strong. I mean, I know how much we talked and cuddled and all that stuff, but- she’s smiling even wider than usual. She understands. ‘Well, if that’s the case sugar – and I know this is maybe a bit cliche – but maybe some ocean blues? Dark floor, medium walls, light ceiling?’

That sounds beautiful. ‘I’d love to. I was only expecting to have to do one colour though, this is sounding like a two person job.’ It’d make a lovely excuse for a date, and to show her my place for the first time.

‘I guess it does, sugar. Pick up the paint, we can do it on my next day off.’ Maybe I should hold off on the other decorations until after we’ve painted. I don’t exactly have anywhere to put them other than directly onto the sand or in my speeder. I can still do some looking around, see if anything speaks to me.

‘Oh, while we’re talking; I was hoping to see you tonight. I’ve already gotten settled in back home, and without work, my schedule is very open.’ I hope she doesn’t mind how much I want to see her. She’s laughing, so it doesn’t seem like it.

‘Sure thing, drop by tonight. We can think of something to do. Gotta go now, tests are wrapping up; which means I’ve gotta get back to actual work. Bye sugar.’ Maybe we can finally get around to that holovid, I think I’ve gotten used to her enough that I can focus on something other than her when we’re in the same room. Now, back to shopping.

Got the paint – interior and exterior – loaded in with the droids, alongside a doormat. I’d been getting tired of tracking sand in, and “Live Laugh Love” is a concise summation of everything I’ve been forbidden from doing for so long. Having a reminder every time I come home should really help.

There were plenty of other trinkets; a little Hoth snowglobe, a physical calendar with small, furred native fauna from a variety of planets, and a charming framed picture of a Twi’lek family. Not sure why that specific family was chosen, but they look nice enough. Maybe once the painting is done I’ll see about buying them.

The droids seem more rudimentary than I was originally expecting, I don’t think they’d be capable of spying on me even if I weren’t watching them. Still, best not to take any chances. Glad they let me rent painting equipment, I don’t exactly have a lot of storage space to accrue miscellaneous tools. Maybe I should see about having a shed built some day.

Here we are. Flick the droids on, and according to the instructions; just give them a command and watch them work. ‘I need this door and these shutters installed on that house.’ Do they even have the dexterity to accomplish something like that? They each only seem to have one manipulator, and they’re so small that I’d half expect their three legs to break if they tried to lift the door – but I guess that’s why there’s so many of them. Guess I’ll just have to see.

Wow, they must have some serious custom programming to work so well in concert like that. Maybe that surcharge isn’t even a simple matter of extortion, but covering the potential replacement cost of these things if they get damaged. I suppose I can start bringing the paint in while they work.

These cans can just go in the corner. They certainly don’t help the place feel more lived in – now it looks even more like a storage facility, but that’ll all be over once Brayli and I get it painted. Maybe I should buy some snacks for when she comes over, surprise her with a nice lunch out on the sand.

I should have bought one of those picnic blankets. I’ll bet sitting on hot sand for an extended period would really dry out her skin. Even I probably wouldn’t find it too comfortable unless I was armoured, and that would likely dampen the romance. I can just use my blanket, shake it out thoroughly before bringing it back in. Not fancy, but it’ll do.

I should also probably give the inside a thorough cleaning too. I know it’s already cleaner than she keeps her place, but the old shutters let sand blow in from time to time. That’ll be a thing of the past once these droids are done. I should go check up on their work.

Solid work, consistent pace, navigating the sand well. A lot more effective than I was expecting, I really underestimated them. Door’s already installed, I can start painting that. Start with the brush, see how much I can cover – use the little cans of spray paint for everything else. Simple, menial work.

It’s nice to do something productive with my hands that isn’t violent. I’ve tried to pick up hobbies before, but they just always make me feel restless. Like I’m wasting my time when I could be accomplishing something. Spending time with Brayli doesn’t make me feel that way though. Every second feels well spent with her.

I spent longer than I should have in the store, the heat’s picking up. I’ve never had to worry about it before, the armour is UV sealed, but I might actually get burned. Adapting to the elements is certainly more difficult without the full technological backing of The Empire, but it’s kind of nice. Within a week of setting up shop, anywhere they designated became another stock template base, same as any other.

Seeing the dunes ebb and flow like this is pretty. I didn’t notice them before, but they’re different heights than they were when I moved in. Some of the old sand blows away, some new sand blows in to replace it. Constantly changing, even in just three short weeks. Wish it wouldn’t pile up against the house, but there’s hardly any use trying to sweep sand – even the best Troopers never managed to win that battle.

Getting the hang of this now. Might need to wash my clothes after this though, managed to splatter some paint at the beginning. Seems like the droids are taking a bit longer with the windows, but that gives me time to catch up. This shouldn’t take too long.

Wow. It came out great. The paint is just the right shade to blend in with the sand. Dried quickly too, maybe the desert heat helped with that. The droids are done too, so I suppose all that’s left is to give it all a test. Door first, obviously – it’s the most direct path of approach.

Lock glides well, don’t need to fiddle with it like the old one. Key turns easily, and it can take my full weight trivially. Can’t imagine anything short of a rancor bursting through this. Well, of course someone with the right tools could manage it, but I think even a typical breaching charge would only barely get the job done. Shutters next.

Paint made them stick slightly, but after the first few movements they glide like a dream. Shut firmly, don’t open to jostling. Can’t exactly test how well they’ll handle the wind, but they look like they’re designed not to catch it nearly as much as the old ones. Overall, completely satisfied.

Even if the inside is still undecorated, this makes it feel like home. Not just a normal home, my home. Built to weather a thousand storms and hold up to a thousand blaster shots. Just like me. Not only that, but with sensible decisions taking the surroundings into consideration.

I always found ways that the copy and paste base design could be improved, but the officers always said it wasn’t worth the effort. Now that’s my decision to make, and I made it exactly right. I live here, I call the shots. Maybe I should put in a back patio to watch the sunset. I can think about that later – right now I can just take it all in.

What’s this tugging at my pant leg? Oh, right, I do need to get these droids back. Okay, when I get back from that; then I can take it all in. ‘Put the old shutters and door in the back of the truck.’ Hopefully they’ll take all this off my hands, not like I have any use for it.

Can’t believe how complicated it was to get the old parts taken off my hands, that took hours. At least now I know where the recycling center is, and to call ahead. On the bright side, all that took so long that Brayli should be off work. Should I tell her about the renovations, or save it as one big surprise when she finally comes out to visit? I think I’ll let it all hit her at once.

Three quick knocks at her door. No response. She must be in the refresher, that’s fine. I can wait for her. Never really took the time to look at the surrounding complex, I suppose this gives me the chance. It’s decent. Not great, but not in noticeable disrepair. Some spots could do with new paint.

‘Brayli, it’s me – Koben. Could you get the door?’ Still no response. That isn’t like her. Maybe she was so tired after work she took a nap? I should ask her for a key some time. The door is unlocked. That’s definitely not like her, but with how eager I was to see her – maybe she left it open for me figuring I wouldn’t arrive too long after her.

No. Something happened here. The apartment is smashed up, and that’s her blaster lying in the middle of the room. Scorch marks on the walls – light, set to stun. A robbery? In broad daylight? This neighbourhood isn’t that bad. ‘Brayli! Are you in here? It’s me – Koben! You’re safe now.’ The droid’s been swept off the counter, and that datapad looks too new to be from around here. It looks Imperial.

‘Greetings Tarani.’ That voice. ‘I had my men take the liberty of leaving this datapad somewhere prominent enough that even you could find it.’ It can’t be him. ‘Begrudgingly, I must congratulate you for escaping from Huxley Padova.’ How did he find me? ‘I was certain he would kill you, but it appears that you are tougher than even I accounted for.’ Did he spend this long looking?

‘Thus, I have been forced to go after someone with far less fight in them: your girlfriend. How absurd, to see you go native like this. Even as I defeat you, you find a way to undermine my dignity.’ It’s been thirteen fucking years. ‘You will find my ship at the coordinates left on this datapad. That is not an order, or a recommendation, it is a fact – because I know you.’ He held a grudge this long?

‘You will come to rescue your, I’m not even going to dignify whatever you two have with the term – her – and then my compliment of Stormtroopers will kill you.’ He was barred from ever holding rank again, how does he have Stormtroopers? ‘Signing off: Bounty Acquisition Agent Anton Blackmire.’

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #sapphic #transgender

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scrumpledorph-writes · 8 months ago

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Koben’s Reunion (Finding The Light)

Awake. Not dead. Jaxon’s here, wherever here is. That’s good. ‘Koben! Shit am I glad to see you awake.’ ‘I’m surprised. Was having horrible dreams, figured I’d been pumped full of hallucinogens to break me for an Imperial interrogation. That or you’d killed me and my more superstitious squadmates had been right.’ ‘Are you kidding? The second your head hit the floor I turned around and put one clean between my dads eyes.’

‘I’m sorry to make you do that on my behalf.’ ‘Don’t be. I’m sure you managed to pick up on how much him and I didn’t get along, I’m not too torn up about it.’ Body feels barely functional. Haven’t been shot up like that in years, maybe ever. ‘Don’t push yourself too hard. Nobody could figure out how to get your armour off, so we had to settle for a stim injection to the neck. Might take a while to get you back on your feet.’ That explains a few things. I can talk, turn to look at him – but not much else.

‘Right, makes sense. Keep filling me in. How’d you get away with killing a crime boss in front of all his guards?’ ‘Dad always saw it as a family business; the second he died, it was mine. His guards became my guards, and I told them to forget about the bounty.’ My senses are coming back to me. This isn’t the manor. Plain old whitewashed stone. And speeder oil.

‘Why am I here?’ ‘Well, I didn’t completely trust the guards not to try their luck, a hundred thousand is a lot of credits, so I took you back to Dunton.’ ‘Why am I here? This apartment – specifically?’ ‘I didn’t know where you lived, so I looked through your datapad contacts. This place was listed under “girlfriend”. I worked so hard trying to forget about her that I forgot to even delete her number. She doesn’t seem to be here, I have to leave before she comes back.

‘Hey, whoa, what’s the hurry? You’ve barely had an hour to heal, there’s no way you can walk!’ He’s only ever seen my freelance jobs, he has no idea what I’ve pushed through in the Empire. ‘I don’t have a girlfriend. We broke up the day before I met you. It was my fault. She deserves to never have to see me again.’ Almost to the front door. Strength is draining from my legs, can barely lean against the wall. I really am wounded.

‘She was here when I arrived! Soon as she saw you she let me in before I could ask, left to go buy you some bacta salve.’ She’s too kind. I don’t deserve it. Nursing is an easy vector to foster attachment, and I can’t bear to have to break her heart again. Just need to get to Vrankis place, have her doctor patch me up. One last push to the door. It’s opening. ‘Sugar?’

Brayli. She looks...I don’t know how she looks. Nobody’s ever looked at me like that before. I want to push past her through that doorway. To fight and kick and muster up all my strength to leave and never look back. But I could never fight her. I’m not strong enough for this. It’s all draining, I’m falling. ‘Easy there Sugar, I’ve got you.’

She’s holding me. Why? After everything I’ve done, why? She should have let me drop. Better yet, turned Jaxon away. Then I wouldn’t have to go through this. I’ve never had to step back into a life after tearing it apart before. I’m crying. I don’t deserve this; this kindness is smothering, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to survive destroying it again. ‘Little help here Jaxon? I’d rather not drag her back to the couch, but she’s too heavy to lift.’ ‘Oh, yeah, right, sorry.’

She’s taking my helmet off. I don’t want her to see me, but I used all my strength trying to get out of here. ‘Hey Jaxon, could you go?’ ‘Go where?’ ‘Anywhere, doesn’t matter. Koben and I need to be alone for a while.’ ‘Oh, uhh, yeah, sure. I’ll go grab her stuff from the manor, bring it here.’ Please don’t. I can’t face her.

She’s not saying anything. She’s just sitting here, looking down at me while I bawl my eyes out. Please stop smiling. I don’t deserve to see that smile of yours, it’s too pretty. I shouldn’t even have survived the party. It would have been a perfect way for my life to end. I save Jaxon from idolizing all the horrible cruel violence inside of me, bring him out of his shell, and he glues his relationship with his father back together using my blood. Atonement.

Redemption. But how can I redeem myself from what I did to Brayli? She has no enemies to face, no problems that can be solved with violence. Without someone to hurt, I have no purpose. I just want to be alone, but I’m not even strong enough to do that, so now I just have to lie here and suffer knowing she’s wasting that kindness and love of hers on me instead of giving it to someone who deserves it. No more tears left inside, I even stained her couch.

‘Do you feel better sugar?’ The least I can do is answer her. ‘No. I feel horrible.’ Every word feels like I’m trying to get it out through a choke hold. She sounds so gentle. ‘I bought some bacta. If you tell me how, I can get you out of that suit and help you put it on.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Your friend said you got shot up pretty bad.’ ‘Why do you care?’ She looks hurt. I didn’t mean to. She shouldn’t care about me, nobody should. Please just push me away now instead of later, save yourself from letting me hurt you even more.

‘Well, I know our last date didn’t go so well, but I still like you.’ I can feel emotions welling up in my throat again. ‘You do?’ ‘Yeah. I thought about you every day, sugar.’ Tears welling up in those deep black eyes of hers. I’m at least faster than her at crying right now, for however little that’s worth. ‘I did too.’ ‘Could we talk? I think we oughta.’

This is just going to keep happening. No. Even if we make up, I’ll just hurt her again. No. I’m too broken for her to fix. No. I wish I’d never met her. No! That’s not true, I finally understand. She’s not forgiving me because she’s weak, she’s doing it because she’s strong.

This must be tearing her up as much as it’s tearing me up, but she’s survived enough to be able to handle it. I thought I was being stronger than my emotions by suppressing them, but I was running away – I took the cowards way out! Again and again, for years! That old Jedi was, eugh, right – just like one to speak in riddles and make me do all the work to figure out what the hell they’re talking about.

Brayli is my light. She shines so brightly it blinds me, but I won’t go back to the shadows any more. No more tears. I’m strong enough to do this, I have to be. ‘Brayli, I love you. I’m sorry for what I did. I don’t think I deserve to be forgiven, but you do, and I love you enough to trust you more than I trust myself.’ She’s crying now, but I’ve never seen her smile that wide.

‘You’re a real dumbass, y’know sugar? I already forgave you, you’re the one who’s been holding onto it all this time. I’m just glad you came back to me, even if you did it half dead. I’m serious about that bacta.’ I’ve been awake long enough for the pain to settle in, that is a good idea.

‘Yeah. That sounds nice. Taking the plates off shouldn’t be much harder than taking off a speeder panel. You just need to start at the extremities, then work your way inward. The upper and lower body are separate systems. Put pressure on the inside edge of the plates and you’ll hear a click.’ A little pain is unavoidable in my condition, but she’s good at this.

‘You know sugar, I’d hoped my first time undressing you would be a bit more romantic. Feels like I’m getting a droid ready for maintenance.’ That laugh of hers. I missed it so much. ‘I’ll make sure to savour undressing you for the first time then.’ Easy to join in laughing with her.

‘Alright, that should about do it for the plates. Any trick to this thing? Looks almost vacuum sealed.’ ‘It was contoured when it was made, but otherwise no. Just pull down from the neck. It’s more elastic than it looks.’ ‘I was hoping this’d be a bit more sexy than the plates, but it might be worse! It’s like trying to take off shrink wrap.’ ‘I think the burns would kill any mood that stripping me managed to create.’

It seems like they were trying not to kill me, save the coup de grâce for Jaxon. Coverage is high, but penetration isn’t critically deep. The stim is helping to dull the pain, but some bacta would definitely do this good. The thermal weave will probably need a complete replacement, but that sheet I bought should still have plenty. ‘Well, c’mon then, I’ve gotta get that underwear off too.’

Oh. I suppose she does. ‘Brayli, I don’t know how to say this, but I feel a bit uncomfortable at that idea.’ ‘Why’s that sugar?’ ‘It makes me feel vulnerable. Usually I handle my own medical care, or have a droid take care of it.’ Why is this a problem? I was naked in front of Seline just fine, and it’s not like I wouldn’t want to have sex with Brayli, or that I don’t trust her.

‘Well, what if I got naked too?’ That’s certainly a line of thought. I can understand the logic behind it; a display of mutual vulnerability. But I still feel a little uneasy. I just have to trust her, I know she only has good intentions. Whatever happens I’ll deal with as it comes up. We will deal with. ‘I’d also hoped to save that for a more romantic mood, but I think it would be helpful.’

‘Oh, I’ll still give you a show, don’t worry.’ I won’t say no to that. I never imagined a pair of coveralls could be taken off seductively, but she’s managing it. Or, she was until one of the straps got caught. ‘C’mon damn thing.’ Built enough strength back up to sit up, stop craning my neck at least. ‘Maybe these ain’t the best clothes for a strip tease. You mind if I just cut to the chase? ‘Go ahead.’

Her body is as beautiful as I could have imagined. The fat deposits compliment her form, and there’s a lot more muscle mass under there than I was expecting. I guess that’s how she managed to stay on her feet when I collapsed on her. Her body language isn’t like her though, I’ve never seen her look embarrassed. ‘Is something wrong?’ ‘I guess there’s just a bit of a difference between saying I’m gonna do it and doing it, y’know sugar?’

‘There’s no need to be bashful, you’re extremely attractive.’ I guess this must be how everyone else feels. ‘Oh, you think so? I used to get a lot of unwanted comments about my weight before I started knocking folks out for it. Guess it just made me feel a little-’ I can feel an adrenal flare up dulling the pain. ‘If anyone ever says anything bad about your appearance in my presence I’ll deliver any type of violence you want upon them.’

‘Aww shucks, you really know how to make a girl swoon. Like I said, I handle it nowadays. Guess some of them just kinda got stuck in.’ ‘Can I remark on your attractiveness?’ ‘You don’t need to ask.’ ‘They’re intense remarks.’ ‘Well they’d better make me blush then.’ ‘If I wasn’t recovering from life threatening injuries right now I’d carry you to your bedroom and commit the topography of your entire body to memory. My prior sexual experience is very restrained and mechanical, but I want to ravage you at the nearest and every subsequent possible opportunity – until even your head tentacles curl.’ I didn’t think her skin tone could betray a blush.

‘Wow. Yeah, that definitely did it. I mean, don’t get me wrong sugar, I could definitely see us making the bed shake from first sunup to third sundown some time, but with the way you hold yourself back – I definitely wasn’t expecting to hear that.’ ‘You bring out the best in me.’ More laughing. Managing to do it so deeply it’s making me wince. ‘Oh, shit, right – let’s get some bacta on you.’ After a reveal like that, getting naked in front of her doesn’t sound so bad.

‘This’ll definitely be easier with you sitting up.’ Still feels a little undignified to need someone else to help me get my clothes off, but if it has to be anyone I’m glad it’s her. She’s staring. ‘Is everything alright? I don’t see any particularly severe burns.’ ‘Nah, you’re good sugar. Just got a really nice body.’ ‘I’ve heard that a few times lately. It’ll look nicer when it’s healed.’ ‘Right, sorry. Let’s get these shorts off.’

Never got the chance to discuss my genitals with her, I hope she doesn’t mind them. I don’t think she’d end the relationship over them, but I feel bad for surprising her. ‘Holy – sugar, if you ever try holonet dating again, maybe lead with this.’ ‘I know I should have told you sooner, I’m sorry.’ ‘We were taking it slow, and I doubt you were planning for this to be the first time I saw you naked. No harm done sugar.’ ‘Oh, you don’t mind it?’ ‘It’s a big galaxy, I’ve seen a lot crazier. The size excites me if anything. Makes that declaration of yours a little spicier.’ I can feel the relief washing over me. One less secret between us.

III

Her bed is rather stiff. I suppose with such a soft body she doesn’t need a soft mattress. Reminds me of the barracks. ‘Alright, settle in and hold still for me sugar. I’ve never really used the spray on stuff, never gotten anything that the patches couldn’t cover.’ ‘Spray until you can’t see the skin underneath. Within two minutes, the surface layer should dry and harden. After that it can be bandaged and safely left with no fear of the healing being disrupted.’

‘Should’ve figured you’d need to be an expert in this, being a former Trooper and all.’ I should tell her the truth. That bounty hunter spilled a few secrets, and leaving them gnawing at her would be cruel of me. If any of them are a deal breaker, better to do it now. ‘Can I talk while you work? I have something important to say.’ ‘Go ahead sugar.’

‘I didn’t tell you the whole truth about my history.’ ‘I heard a couple tidbits that didn’t quite line up last week. Fill me in.’ ‘I wasn’t just a Storm Trooper – not for the whole time I was in the military. I was promoted to a Purge Trooper for the last five years of my service.’ ‘No clue what that is, but glad you got a promotion.’ ‘I helped hunt down Jedi.’ I expected a more intense reaction.

‘Wow. So you must be real good at fighting to tangle with them, huh?’ ‘If you have any other feelings, don’t feel like you need to hold them back from me. Disgust, betrayal, anything like that I’d rather get over now.’ ‘Never met one in my life, why would I care? Anything else sugar?’ ‘I left because I murdered my commanding officer to protect a child. She was also my girlfriend at the time.’ That’s the reaction I was expecting.

‘I...certainly wasn’t expecting to hear that. That’s a lot, but I appreciate you telling me. It must have really been eating at you, huh?’ ‘I understand if that’s too much for our relationship to bear. I onl-’ ‘None of that sugar. All I heard was that you’re so sweet you’d throw your whole life away to save a kid. Nothing wrong with that.’ ‘You’re no-’ ‘Nothing. Anything else you wanted to say? Feel like I should go once you’re done.’ I can feel tears welling up again, of gratitude this time. Best give them a few seconds to pass.

‘I do illegal bounty work, killing for credits.’ ‘Gee, and here I was worried there was another six six solid black killing machine making you look bad on the holonews. C’mon sugar, I ain’t dumb.’ ‘I just want you to know what you’re getting into by dating me.’ ‘I know, I know – just teasing you. It’s a sweet gesture, really. That everything?’ I’ve never felt this light before.

‘It is. Unless you want me to start telling you embarrassing stories from my time in the Corps.’ ‘Maybe another time, sugar. I figure I should do a little sharing too, while we’re at it.’ I can’t imagine anything she could say that would turn me away. She could even pull out a lightsaber. ‘Go ahead.’ ‘Y’ever wonder what a girl like me’s doing on a desert planet?’ ‘The galaxy is a big place, I’ve seen more unusual things.’

‘Well, I’m on the run too. Not enough to get bounty hunters after me like you do, but I’d feel uneasy going back home.’ She looks torn up about this. I can’t leave it there. ‘What did you do?’ ‘I used to run a chop shop, ripping folks off both ways: tearing their speeders apart, then charging them through the breath hole for worse quality parts after I pawned theirs off. Not proud of it, but there weren’t too many options above board where I lived.’ Oh. That’s it?

‘How long ago was this?’ ‘About fifteen years. It was the family trade.’ ‘Those are fairly minor infractions. If you’re running from the law, the statute of limitations on that is surely expired by now.’ ‘Not the law I’m worried about. Ripped off a cartel lieutenant one day, didn’t realize. Roughed me up real bad the next day, thought he was gonna kill me – but he quoted me a ridiculous figure for how much his speeder was worth, told me I’d work for ‘em until I paid it off.’ Glad my hands are relatively unscathed, this white knuckle clenching would probably hurt a lot more otherwise.

‘That doesn’t sound like the end of it, if you’re willing to keep going.’ ‘I saw the writing on the wall after a few years. I’d work a few zeroes off, then one of my speeders would have an “accident” with some nobody in the cockpit and they’d slap ‘em back on. Decided it was time the higher ups suffered an “accident” too. Took a job to tune up one of their starships, rigged it to blow as soon as they hit hyperspace.’ Wow, that’s daring. I was pushed to act on impulse, I could never commit a premeditated attack like that against an officer. Kind of hot.

‘Took the credits and ran all the way out here, figured they’d never bother checking a desert. Been settled down here for about a decade. Folks don’t ask questions or take good care of their speeders around these parts, so I got along okay. That’s about the whole of it.’ I never had any attachment to my old home, but enduring these conditions with her physiology must be brutal.

‘I’m sorry to hear you can’t go home. Do you have any information on this cartel? Names, locations, numbers?’ ‘Not since I left, why?’ ‘I don’t think it’s right for you to have to live in fear like this, so I’ll hunt them down for you. Dossiers can take a while to compile, so I figured I should get a head start.’ She’s laughing. The offer was serious, but if she’s accepted this life then I can live with it.

‘You’re a real romantic, but that’s alright sugar. Like I said, they’re no Empire; as long as I don’t go back they can’t reach far enough to get me. Oh, by the way, just got the last spot. Need any help with the bandages?’ The thought of getting to feel Braylis hands gliding across my skin is almost exciting enough to make this whole ordeal worth it. ‘Please.’

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #sapphic

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scrumpledorph-writes · 8 months ago

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Koben’s Final Lesson (Jaxon Becomes A Man)

Contract’s almost over. I’ve really come to like Jaxon. I hope I’ve managed to impress Huxley enough to get hired on for more permanent work. It would normally feel awkward to ask a former client if they wanted to be friends, but Jaxon is easy to get along with. Maybe we can exchange holovid info if things don’t work out.

‘Good morning Jaxon. Today we’ll put everything I’ve taught you into practice with a trial patrol around town.’ ‘You know I’m not actually training to be a soldier, right? What’s there for me to patrol?’ ‘Nothing, but I’ll have you pointing out potential threats as we walk. Think of it like a speeder license test.’ ‘You need a license to drive a speeder in the core?’ That explains some of the driving I’ve seen around here.

‘Meet me out front when you’re ready, I’ll be in the yard.’ He takes a while to wake up, I hope he doesn’t miss the sunrise. Going out at least lets me pick up my weapons. These training ones are too light – they don’t actually ingrain the right muscle memory for things like quickly drawing them. ‘Jaxon and I are going out today, I’d like to withdraw all of my weapons.’ No visible changes to their condition, and I doubt there’s any reason for them to have been tampered with. At the very least, it’s next to impossible to covertly sabotage a knife.

Gardeners manually watering the lawn, and the guard rotating at the same time. The system runs well, even if keeping a garden on a desert is ill thought out. The sun is just cresting now, I wonder if he has the gardeners time it to simulate morning dew? ‘Ah, warrior. We have had little time for one another, both occupied by our own pursuits as we are. How fares yours? I know that my son is a meager offering as a student, but if you are as good as he says then that should be a trifling obstacle to overcome.’ Everything he says tends to drag, but I have nothing else to do until Jaxon shows up.

‘It’s going well. Slow at first, but once we got to know each other he took to my instructions well. I think you should give him a bit more credit.’ ‘Credit, do not speak to me of credit when he is involved. He does nothing but spend my credits, refusing his birthright. I fear for my legacy once he takes hold of its reigns, with only the cold comfort that I won’t be around to see it brought to ruination.’ Not even trying to feign that sweetness while he talks about Jaxon. I can see why he spends so much time in his room.

‘He’s smarter than he looks. Quick on the uptake when he’s interested. Already learned things that took me months of work back in the academy.’ Maybe he just doesn’t like crime, but that’s not something Huxley would be happy hearing. Best not to upset my employer. ‘This is surprising, but I welcome it as an unexpected boon. If he takes well to a martial lifestyle, perhaps the guileful machinations in which I find myself further steeped by the day can be cloven in half with raw brawn. That would be a worthy succession. I shall ruminate on this at a later time. Enjoying my little oasis, I trust? A slice of home I couldn’t bear to part with when I came here.’

‘Waiting for Jaxon, actually. I’m planning to test how well he’s taken in all the training with a mock patrol through the city. The garden is impressive though.’ Impressive how many credits he can afford to throw away, at least. Imperial training’s only interest in botany is in what’s forageable. ‘Prudent. Even if you merely celebrated his passage into manhood with a day of revelry, getting him to leave that room of his and see the world that exists outside of my domain would be a use of your time I would deem sufficient for the rate I pay you.’ Maybe we could spend a little time celebrating. My squadmates always seemed to spend half their pay on bar crawls.

‘Speaking of payment: I assume that will be ready tonight?’ ‘Yes. I have a celebration planned for Jaxon. This is an occasion that only happens once, and I want it to be memorable. I apologize for not putting it in the contract up front, but I trust with how well you two have gotten along that it would be no trouble to ask you to attend it? You will receive your payment then.’ ‘That’s fine.’ I would’ve asked to come if I wasn’t being told to. Definitely want to see Jaxon off into adulthood at the bare minimum.

‘Hey Koben! Hi dad. I’m ready to go whenever.’ ‘I hope you two make the most of the day. My works require constant maintenance, and I alone am fit to attend them. I look forward to tonight.’ Glad he’s gone, those two have a colder relationship than most officers do with their subordinates.

‘Potential threat report.’ ‘Uhh, there’s a few blind alleyways, rooftop overhangs I can’t see the tops of, and a fair number of people wearing cloaks that could be concealing weapons.’ ‘Adequate. You neglected to mention the closed windows that could be concealing snipers, but the vectors you identified are the most common.’ ‘I figured those weren’t worth mentioning. I mean if you want to get that technical, everything you can’t see could be hiding a threat, couldn’t it?’

‘They could, and if you want to stay alive when your enemies are everywhere, it’s important to stay aware of them at all times.’ ‘I guess the Empire is pretty unpopular in some places. Still sounds a little excessive.’ ‘You’re the heir to a criminal empire Jaxon, you have enemies. People who want to kill you won’t announce themselves.’ ‘We will if we want to make him suffer first.’ Oh this has to be a joke.

‘Look who wandered down the wrong alley. Your daddy doesn’t have this whole city under his-’ Not in the mood for this today. Blaster bolt to the gut should put him down, five to go. ‘Jaxon, take cover.’ He learned that lesson well enough. They seem to have gotten the message too. Killing five men hunkered down at the other side of a tight corridor will be difficult. But not impossible.

‘Fuck! Koben, what do we do?!’ ‘You stay here, if any more appear, shoot them like I taught you. That blaster pistol handles well.’ ‘And you?!’ ‘You’ve watched me work enough times by now.’ Footsteps, one rushing toward us. Stupid. Barely need to push the knife into him, just hold it steady while momentum drives it home. Blaster shots rippling against his back, saves me the trouble of confirming my kill.

His blaster pistol is garbage, but it’s better than trying to one arm a rifle in such cramped quarters. He’s big enough to provide me full cover, at least until there are holes blown through him. Should close the gap before that happens. Next closest is halfway down the alley, behind a dumpster. He’s keeping his head down, probably can’t hear me approaching over the sound of blaster fire. Of all the injuries this line of work can cause, nobody ever thinks about hearing damage. He might have at least gotten a shot off before I reached him. Oh well, one to the chest, one to the head. Halfway there.

Might as well take the other side of the cover he was using, pause to reevaluate. They’re on either side of the alley, which means no matter what I’d likely end up shot if I advanced on their position. Blind firing with barely their wrists exposed, I can give them credit for that. Except that they’ve stopped firing.

‘Alright, whoever you are: we clearly bit off more than we can chew. You made your point – we’ll leave you two alone.’ Imperial Force Guidelines dictate total obliteration of enemy forces, but I’m not in the Empire any more, but they tried to kill Jaxon, but – Oh to hell with it. ‘Fine. Leave, now. If I ever recognize any of your faces in a crowd I’ll kill you on the spot.’ Footsteps, fast ones.

Glad to resolve that without getting shot, would have put a damper on the festivities later. Jaxon looks unharmed. ‘Are you alright?’ ‘Holy shit Koben, that was...’ Here it comes. The disgust, the rejection. A screen between you and the violence is one thing, but being brought face to face with it is another. I’d hoped he would be different, but that was naive. His father might be a crime lord, but he’s sheltered enough to be just a regular civilian.

‘Fucking awesome! You were so cool, the way you knifed that guy without even looking, charging down the alley, that threat at the end sending them running like a pack of dogs! I wish I’d had my recorder, but I saw the whole thing! Seeing it through a screen is one thing, but it doesn’t come close to the full sensory experience of watching it happen live. You’ve got a little blood on your, uhh, whole front of your suit – by the way.’ Oh.

‘That’s not how people usually react to my work.’ It’s certainly a nice change of pace though. ‘Really? What do they usually do?’ ‘Scream at me. Start crying. The specifics vary, but those two are a constant.’ ‘Well, it was either that or they were going to kill me, so I mean, c’mon – what kind of an asshole would I have to be to not appreciate it?’ ‘It just tends to put people into shock. Death is hard to process without training.’

‘I guess. I used to be that way, but then dad made me sit in on an interrogation he was doing to try to toughen me up – and everything you do feels pretty tame by comparison.’ It would be irresponsible of me to let that comment go. ‘I know I’m one to talk, but I don’t think that’s quite healthy.’ ‘Yeah, well, it is what it is I guess. Not like I can go back and undo it, so whatever. We should find you a towel or something before that blood crusts over.’ Maybe he is his fathers son.

III

That was a better test of his skills than anything I had planned, and getting into cover quickly enough not to get shot is a lesson a lot of soldiers never pick up. He’s passed all my expectations. Not sure what to do with the rest of the day, but don’t want to take him home just yet. We do seem to have stumbled close to the red light district though. ‘I can’t think of any other tests for you. We’re near the adult district, and you are an adult as of today. It wouldn’t be inappropriate to visit, if you’re interested.’

‘What? Well, I mean, it’s kind of a tradition, so I guess it’d be disrespectful of us not to.’ He’s trying to play it cool, but I saw his body language shift at the mention. ‘Are you sure? The girls probably look nothing like me, so it would be pretty disappointing.’ ‘Alright, alright, no need to bust my balls about it. You like girls too y’know. Let’s go.’ We should stay on a main thoroughfare, no need for another shootout.

‘Ten credits for a fortune reading. Put your trust in The Force to guide your way.’ What a waste of credits that would be. Either he can use The Force, in which case he’s a Jedi – and therefore a liar – or he’s just some old man scamming people. Jaxon’s looking over at him. I can tell he’s considering it.

‘Hey Koben, you wanna? Not like it’ll break the bank, I can pay for yours. I wanna hear what he has to say.’ ‘Fine, I will if you do.’ ‘You two cast a long shadow. Deep within the Dark Side of The Force do you reside.’ Absurd: I’m two meters tall, of course I cast a- He has no eyes. Even more off-putting than that tall head of his, but maybe he does know a little of what he’s talking about. No, he just felt it get cooler when we blocked the sun.

There goes twenty credits we’ll never get back. ‘Hold out your hand, if you would, boy.’ All a performance, and Jaxon’s buying it. I guess this isn’t strictly something my training covered, so I can’t be too hard on him. ‘You were born into a gilded cradle of darkness, swaddled in violence. You shut your heart to it long ago, retreating inward to a virtual sanctuary and barring the door. Now you find yourself outgrowing your cradle, and hesitating to face what lies without – not for fear that it is too different, but for fear it is too much the same. If you choose to follow the path set before you, you will be condemned to cast a long shadow, yet straying from it will bring much tumult as well. I do not envy the choice ahead of you.’ That...does feel oddly specific for a charlatan.

No, that’s ridiculous. Jaxon’s practically a minor celebrity around here with how much pull his dad has. Some of the guards must have gossiped in a bar, and this guy just got lucky turning those rumours into a convincing story. Considering how torn up he looks over it, Jaxon could do with having all this explained to him when we’re done. ‘Hey, yeah, that’s uhh, not bad old man. Your turn Koben.’ I’ve only been in town a couple weeks, and he won’t be able to read my body language through my armor. This whole sham will fall apart.

‘I’m not taking the gauntlet off.’ ‘There is no need. The Dark Side flows so deeply within you that I can nearly read it from here. Oh. You poor woman. My apologies, the waters of your past run deep. Allow me to begin again.’ Really trying to pull me in, but I’m not giving him a thing. Good luck old man.

‘For all the darkness that surrounded them, your parents did all they could to raise you into the light. In the wake of a newer, deeper darkness they left you, and it swallowed you whole. The light within you was buried in layers of shadow, and yet it still burned. Even as you were seduced by The Dark Side. Now you try so desperately to run towards the light, but you have gone so long without it that it blinds you. When you fall, you let the shadows loom long over you. The comfort of their cool shade is a falsehood. Though you will stumble, you mustn’t stop running if you ever wish to live in the light again.’ Enough of this.

‘Who are you old man?’ ‘My visions trouble you. They bring to light truths you both would rather leave buried.’ He really must be blind to be so calm with a blaster rifle pointed at him. ‘Answer my question.’ ‘Now I am nobody. I know that is not the answer you seek. Long ago I was a warrior of peace. A guardian of The Force.’ He’d better not say it if he knows what’s good for him. ‘A Jedi.’

Shooting him would draw too much attention. Those gangsters were a matter of self defence, but even I couldn’t intimidate a crowd this size into letting this slide. Better holster it. ‘You’re lucky I don’t get paid to kill your kind any more, old man.’ He’s laughing. Typical Jedi, completely out of touch with reality. ‘My luck ran out long ago, as you can no doubt see. I gave up my ways. Even this was taken from me.’ He’s reaching for a lightsaber. ‘Jaxon, step back.’ Even with his powers, if I shoot the instant he presses that button he’s done.

It’s not turning on. ‘Now it’s only a relic of days gone by, and yet I can’t bear to part with it.’ ‘Why are you telling us this?’ ‘You asked. Why has The Force brought us together is a far better question, I think. Would you begrudge an old man his idle musings?’ ‘Say your piece.’ ‘I can no longer fight for a better galaxy; only guide others. You both, as do all beings, may find the light if you keep searching. I hope my words will help you reach it.’ ‘Goodbye old man.’ He’s earned those credits.

‘Hey Koben, if it’s all the same, I don’t really feel like going to a club any more. Kinda wanna just walk for a while. Think about stuff.’ ‘I feel the same way.’

That was a melancholic afternoon, but Huxleys festivities are doing a good job at making up for it. The food is fantastic at least, and he’s hired mercenary guards so all his regular staff could attend. Needed a few extra tables hauled out to seat them all, and it’s nice to be near the head with Jaxon.

‘Now my friends, trusted retainers, and devoted staff: the revelry shall be brought to a focus. My son Jaxon. I will not taint the record with saccharine reminiscing, the two of us have had our squabbles, as all fathers and sons do.’ He can even manage to make his sons birthday party about himself. ‘But those were the squabbles of a boy and a man. It would hamper his new beginning, and smear my own pride, to hang onto them.’ I wonder if Jaxon will even get to say anything?

My son, please rise. My many allies and tributaries have brought you gifts befitting of your ascension to manhood. Please, take the time to sample them.’ Most of these are a terrible fit for him. Cultural ornaments and knick knacks, safe bets for someone whose interests they don’t have a clue about. ‘Yeah, these are all really, uhh, great so far, thank you.’ They’d be lucky to get a place on his shelf.

‘Hang on, what’s this? Whoa, a quickdraw blaster pistol and holster set?! That’s actually pretty sick, Koben’s been teaching me some moves the last few days, like this – wuchaah!’ His form could use some work. The crowd seems impressed, or at least know that if they don’t pretend they are Huxley won’t be happy.

‘Oh no way, Koben come look at this!’ This should be good. No way, that is impressive. ‘Someone got a little replica of you in your armour made! Cast in Imperial Steel and everything!’ ‘A good likeness.’ A really good likeness, tons of little details I wouldn’t expect anyone to even have seen from looking at footage of me, never mind reproduce. Should do a surveillance sweep when I get home.

‘That’s the last of them. I can’t help but notice there’s nothing here from you, dad. I mean, unless hiring Koben to train me was an early one, because if that’s it then don’t even worry about it, that’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten. No offence to the rest of these, of course.’ Shit, I should’ve gotten him something. Can’t believe I didn’t even think of it.

‘I am glad that you appreciated my investment in your future, but no. That was not my gift to you, my son. Perhaps it is cliche, even sentimental, but I have prepared as a gift for you: a lesson.’ He snapped his fingers. Blaster bolts rippling across my armour. All his guards were in on it. They’re good shots. Can’t stand, can barely focus on what’s going on. Ears are ringing, but Jaxon’s loud enough to get through it.

‘What the fuck are you doing?! Koben’s my friend!’ ‘Your dear preoccupation; Koben. The Trooper adorned in black. Veteran of a thousand battles. Killer. Destroyer. Wanted criminal. My son, did you think someone of her repute would go unnoticed by the law? You, did you think I would not find out about you? That I didn’t know before you ever stepped foot into my manor how lucrative it would be to cash in on your egregious affronts to The Empire?’ Whole body’s on fire. My hate’s burning hotter.

‘It crossed my mind.’ ‘Yet you persisted into my waiting maw because you saw a glitter at the back of my throat. This is a lesson on many subjects, my dear son. Lesson one: mercenaries can only be trusted to do one thing, and that is to chase credits. Lesson two: whenever possible, get as much out of someone as you can take before you toss them aside. Lesson three: childish attachments such as yours to her will only bring you pain.’

Jaxon’s on the edge of tears. Maybe if I click off a plate I can put all my strength into throwing it, take Huxleys smug fucking grin off from here. Can’t lift my arms, there goes that plan. ‘Her bounty is valid dead, my dear boy – and she is far too dangerous to leave alive. That blaster pistol was my suggestion. I can think of no way more fitting to take your first steps into manhood than by casting aside the object of your most infantile fixations. She must be in such agony right now. Her armour can surely take little more, just one well placed shot and you can end her suffering. It is the kindest fate that awaits her.’

If I could reach for my helmet to look him in the eyes at least, I would. ‘Whatever you do Jaxon, I understand. I figured I’d die taking a few people down with me, but this is fine.’ His tears are dying down, his brow is steeled. I don’t have enough strength to hold my head up any more. One crystal clear shot ringing out. No pain.

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #cw: death #cw: violence

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scrumpledorph-writes · 9 months ago

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Koben’s Coping Mechanism (Auto-Erotic Dehumanization)

Too early to sleep, handled everything else this morning, don’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now. Need to be guided, set to a task, controlled. That’s the only way I can do anything useful. Just a rabid dog that needs to find someone to be leashed by. She used to leash me behind closed doors. It was the only time I could let my guard down, knowing Tessa was in control. Maybe if I let go for a little while and have someone else pull my strings I’ll feel better.

I was planning to bring it up with Brayli eventually, but that’s not going to happen now. Vranki runs a prostitution ring, and I already have a bounty, so what’s one more infraction? Never was able to masturbate satisfyingly; strangulation doesn’t feel right if I’m just doing it to myself – knowing I can make it stop whenever I want.

It’s dangerous after dark, so I should wear the armor out. Feel better with a visor between me and the world right now anyway – helps shut it out and keep my feelings inside. Both blasters too, just in case. Already skirmished with two bounty hunters today, seems like I can’t rule anything out.

Down to wordless communication with the doorman, one nod and the door is open. Glad for it, didn’t feel like hearing any inane commentary tonight. It’s starting to feel familiar around here, and I don’t like that. I’ve fallen far from the Corps, but this is too far even for me. If I’m just going to sink into the depths of criminal depravity anyway I might as well have just stayed in my place with the Corps; no different taking out hits for these people than carrying out kill orders.

Camaraderie, stability, material backing, purpose – all the things I took for granted that I can never go back to now. Just had to shut it all out, the screaming widows, the crying children, the way Jedi’s eyes would fill with pity when they looked at me – even from the other side of a lightsaber. Shut it all out and do what I was told, no room for questions to seep in and take root. I wish I could go back.

I already had an execution stayed to join the Storm Corps, what’s one more? Start over from a private, claw my way back up – back to the Purge Corps, back with my old squad. I pulled them through a few tough scrapes. They’re probably all dead now, cut down by some maniac with a chip on their shoulder and the power to pull you in half with their mind. Killed because I wasn’t there to save them, because I was too selfish to follow orders. Good Soldiers Follow Orders is what my old drill instructor always said, and if all I am is a soldier then what does that make me now, as a deserter?

I’m just a discharging grenade too defective to even detonate properly, throwing off shrapnel at everyone who gets too close. Why even bother going on? Maybe all this hurt will scar over and I’ll try it again with another woman, and then I’ll hurt her too. I shouldn’t get someone’s hopes up like that. After I’m done here I’ll just find some vagrant who could use the credits and kill myself so he can turn my corpse in for the reward. Finally make somebody happy at least. Someone’s tapping on my helmet.

‘That thing noise cancelling or something? The boss has been ready to see you for like a minute lady, don’t waste her time.’ ‘Affirmative.’ I’m wallowing so deeply in my own stupid little world I can’t even follow protocol anymore. I’m too compromised to soundly evaluate all this right now, I’ll circle back to it after I’m done here.

‘Trooper! Wasn’t expecting to have to work this late, but for someone who gets results like you I’m happy to crack open my jobs list.’ ‘I’m here to requisition one of your prostitutes.’ ‘Really? You sure look like you’re dressed to kill another apartment block of upstart rivals, but if you say so. What’s your fancy—young, old, tall, round? I can’t quite say I’ve got everything you could ever want, but you certainly won’t find a better catalogue without leaving the system.’ ‘Someone who won’t shy away from hurting me.’ ‘A little on the nose, but I think I have just the one. Oh, and for next time, you don’t actually need me just to book a session – I’d never leave this chair if that were the case. Every booth is hooked up to a database of all my girls.’ ‘Noted, I apologize for disrupting your evening.’ ‘No harm done. Like I said; for you I’m willing to go the extra mile.’ Betraying her for someone who takes the threat of the Empire more seriously is going to sting.

‘You sound like you could use a premium suite, so I’ll set you up in A1, best in house. First hallway, all the way to the end, on your right. You can pay her when you’re done. Have a good time Trooper!’ Simple enough directions. Didn’t bother asking about specifics, but I can’t imagine there are too many women who are willing to do what I need done. I’m sure Vranki’s been at this long enough to pick out good matches. ‘Oh, it’s you.’

The Twi’lek from my last job?! What’s she doing here, why did Vranki have to pick her? There’s no way she could have known, I’m sure she’ll amend this if I just explain. ‘Vranki must not have known our history, I’ll-’ ‘No mistake, she knows. She was all smiles while her men were rolling into the other side of town, offering me a nice secure contract – one that undercuts my old prices – after you killed the only people who were looking out for me. You want someone to hurt you, right? I can do that, I’d do it for free if I didn’t have to get you off while I did it.’

This is a bad idea. Tessa just had fun hurting me, but I was far too useful to risk actually killing. Just that look she’s giving me is spelling out how much she wants me dead, but it’s also really attractive. Damn it. ‘It would be easy to kill me and call it an accident. I need some insurance that won’t happen.’

‘Vranki’s no rube, you think she didn’t account for that? Here, a vitals monitor. Put it on, if you dip too low the doctor will be here in under a minute to bring you back. Now are you going to keep insulting my credentials, or do you want to be punished?’ She’s good, I can feel goosebumps. ‘Yes ma’am.’

‘Good, now get out of that suit. Doubt anything in this room could hurt you through that.’ I haven’t been naked in front of another person in a long time. Even Tessa usually liked me to keep the helmet on, and I was upgraded to a private shower while I was in her service. ‘I hope you’re not bothered by my body.’ ‘I’m bothered that it’s you, but you look...really hot, actually, much as I hate to say it.’ ‘I do?’ ‘What the fuck did the Empire do to you; washboard abs, statuesque height, perky tits, thick cock, and insecurity issues? Yes, you’re built like a custom order pleasure droid, now quit rubbing it in.’ Is that how people outside the military feel about my body? Even Tessa was never that lurid about it.

‘So, how do you want me to hurt you? We’ve got the works: whips, collars, chains, electricity, a heating coil if you don’t mind needing bacta after; or just a good old fashioned knife that’s just dull enough to really feel dragging across your skin.’ Wow, she’s sounding like an interrogation specialist right now. No way I can tell her about the inquisitor tricks Tessa used to be able to do, choking me without even touching me or using her lightsaber. Best keep it vague.

‘A collar sounds ideal. My old girlfriend would hold a blade to my neck when she was especially aroused, but I always preferred the tactile sensation around my throat over the implication of a knife.’ ‘Got it. Now humor me with a little bit of psychoanalysis, always like playing kink shrink: you want to kneel at my feet and maintain eye contact while I collar you because it’ll make you feel like a good little loyal hound?’ Wow, she’s good. Really, really good. It would take a real interrogator days to get that deep into my head.

‘Yes ma’am.’ Snide laughter, almost scarily accurate. Is she an ex-Jedi in disguise, using her powers to read my mind? I’m glad it’s not my job to kill them any more, because this is better than I could have ever hoped from a stranger. ‘Well then, for how much of a bad dog you’ve been, you get the choke chain. I’ll be sure to make it extra tight, just the way you like it.’

Cold smooth metal chain link digging into my neck. One of the weakest, most lethally vulnerable parts of the body and she has me under complete control by it. Did she put this thing on ice, why does it feel so pronounced? My breathing is already ragged and we haven’t even begun. ‘You certainly look like you’re having a good time, perked up like that down there. Just one more click of the leash, and now all that’s left is a little test.’ She put a lot of force into that tug, I can feel the metal digging in. I hope she can pull harder.

She’s on top of me now. Objectively I doubt she’s even half my weight, but I may as well be under an AT-AT. ‘Not even pulling at your collar, that’s a good dog. The Empire got you so well trained and disciplined, all you needed was a new master, is that right?’ Her voice is sickeningly, mockingly saccharine. She knows what I’ve done, and now she can take her revenge. Another tug.

‘Come on now, speak when you’re spoken to.’ ‘Yes ma’am!’ Another tug. ‘Is that all you can say? Answer my question.’ I can barely think about anything other than how good this feels, how am I supposed to come up with an answer? Just say whatever comes to mind – if it’s stupid then oh well, she already hates me.

‘I need a mistress to pull me around by the collar! I’m an attack dog who only knows how to hurt and kill, the best I can hope for is to be pointed at people who deserve it!’ Her hand is shaking now? She’s locking the chain really tight, I must have struck a nerve. Getting a bit hard to breathe.

‘Well, at least you admit it. Doesn’t that feel better? No hiding behind armor, or a paycheck; just telling me flat out you killed them because someone told you to. Are you too messed up in the head to be held responsible? Just one of those “real” victims of the Empire we always hear about; a traumatized veteran who needs to be coddled?’ ‘Y-yes ma’am?!’ This doesn’t feel good any more.

Can’t call that a tug, more like a full body wrench. That actually hurt. ‘Wrong answer, doggy. You’re not so pathetic you can’t even make a decision for yourself, are you?’ I am. My life’s been on rails since it started, I don’t know what I’d do without them. Starting to cry, but at least I can blame it on the choker if she brings it up after.

‘Yes ma’am! Before the Corps I lived my life by a slavemasters orders, then by a sergeants, then by my girlfriends, and now I just do what I think the Storm Trooper Field Guide would recommend!’ Her glare is getting less intense. ‘That’s...really how you live? I’ve gotta break the roleplay here, you’re serious?’ ‘Yes ma’am.’ Why’s she unlocking the collar, we’re not done yet.

‘Wow. I don’t think I can keep doing this.’ She feels light again. I could pick her up and throw her against the wall so hard she’d break. ‘What do you mean, isn’t this your job?’ ‘Yeah, and I was having fun with it. I figured you were just some war criminal piece of shit leaning on the “Oh boohoo I got fucked up in the military” excuse to be an asshole, and I was gonna have my fun and take your credits and we’d both fuck off and never see each other again, hopefully, but now...I mean, we were doing the dog thing, but after hearing all that it actually kind of just felt like I was kicking an abused dog, y’know?’

She’s incredulous. I’m so horribly broken it’s a joke to normal people. She can’t even stay mad at me for killing her friends, it’d be like staying mad at a droid. ‘I see. How much do I owe you?’ ‘Forget it, that was like five minutes and you didn’t even put it in. Unless – like don’t get me wrong, we can have some normal sex if you want, but that just felt like I was hitting way too close to home.’

Normal sex, even when I submit completely to somebody else I still can’t do it correctly. ‘No thank you. You were very good at your job, I hope it works out for you. I’ll put my armor back on and go.’ ‘Right, uhh, hope you feel better some time, I guess.’ That was my second failure at trying to feel better, I guess the only thing left is to fall back on old habits.

III

‘Oh, Trooper, that was quick. No judgment, of course, I just figured you’d be spending-’ ‘I need a job.’ ‘Oh! Well, I won’t question it, what’s your fancy?’ ‘Someone I’ll feel better after killing.’ ‘Well, I don’t quite know what your moral compass is, and it’s a bit late for a heart to heart, but I do have one guy who strangled one of my girls to death about a week ago. I’ve had folks asking around about him, and it seems he’s either brave or stupid enough not to have skipped town. You sound like you’re wound up enough to punch a hole through a durasteel wall, so go poke around his address. If you find him, feel free to take some liberties in making an example of him so everybody knows not to mess with my girls. I’ll scale your pay to the quality of your work; floor of eight hundred, ceiling of two thousand. Sound good?’ ‘I’ll take it.’

There’s a sandstorm kicking up. Too heavy to pilot the speeder, so it’s time for a twilight march. The weather seal on my suit should keep sand out, even at these speeds. It’s almost nice. Makes me feel invincible while everyone else clutches at the edges of their cloaks and scurries inside. I’m not even cold.

Little homestead on the edge of town. Bigger than mine, can see extra rooms jutting off of the main one. Maybe I’ll see about buying it at auction after I kill him. Better not actually, this one’s too close, far too easy to find. When he opens the door, punch him in the throat and grab him, I still haven’t decided how to make an example of him. ‘Good evening, do you need some shelter from the storm?’

Wasn’t expecting a woman. ‘Does Klim Thompson live here?’ ‘Oh, that’s my husband, are you one of his old army buddies?’ Don’t remember anybody with that name. She doesn’t seem to know why I’m really here. No point in dancing around it. ‘A week ago your husband strangled a prostitute to death. I’m here on behalf of that prostitutes employer.’ Shock, disgust, fear, anger; a textbook response. Haven’t had to deal with a situation like this in years.

‘Can you wait out here for a few minutes while I talk to him about this?’ ‘No.’ She has the good sense to step back at least, not like she could stop me. ‘Klim! You should have cut and run, now come out and don’t make this any more traumatic for your wife!’ ‘Alright, alright, I’m coming – just don’t hurt her, please.’ ‘I’m a professional; you’re the only name on my list.’

‘That’s all well and good, how much do I owe you for damages?’ He thinks this is about money. Thinks that woman is just a piece of cattle he can buy retroactively. ‘Honey, you’re not saying she’s telling the truth, are you?!’ ‘I really didn’t want you to know about it dear, but yes.’ He’s talking down to her like a toddler. ‘It’s not like you don’t satisfy me, but there are a few things I know you’d never go for, and I guess I just got a little carried away this time.’ He thinks this is just a little misunderstanding. ‘Please ma’am, I’m sure this can all be smoothed over—I’m even willing to talk payment plans; my pension is very generous.’ I already knew I was killing him, but after hearing that dismissive little pitch I’m going to enjoy it.

She’s saying something, but all I can hear is adrenaline pumping through my veins. He’s scrawny, must have been an officer. That would explain the cavalier attitude about all this. They always used to think they were charming enough to talk their way out of everything. My fingers fit nicely around his throat, and that outside wall could use a new coat of paint: blood red would really brighten this place up.

His face splatters well. Took a few hits to get the blood flowing, but now it’s really coming out. She’s watching apprehensively from the doorway. ‘I have to kill him, but you don’t have to watch.’ ‘No, it’s not that. I...I never realized he was that bad.’ ‘Imperials can be very two faced.’ He’s trying to gurgle something out, best start smearing him around, fill in the spots the viscera managed to miss.

‘You don’t get a say in this.’ This feels good. Why is this so cathartic? Maybe I do like killing people after all. I tried to deny it, say that it was just all I knew and I was too trained to choose not to, but if that were it I would have just put two quick bolts in the back of his head. I’m a monster. Just a bundle of hatred and rage hurting everyone around me until the day I die.

No. That’s not it this time. Killing someone hasn’t made me feel this way since Tessa. I’m not just lashing out – I’m defending the honour of a dead woman, and letting it be known that all the other women surviving her need to be treated with respect, or else. I’m standing up for someone too weak to defend themselves. I’m sending a message that this is unacceptable. This isn’t just sadistic malice, this is righteous indignation. Is this what all those rebels meant when they would talk about fighting for a cause?

That Twi’lek was right – even if I can’t help but live a violent life, I can choose who to do it to. Sure I have to take contracts from criminals, but even among the underworld there’s gradients. I’m on my own now, it’s long past time I develop my own principles. I’ll write some down tomorrow. Think I’m just about done here, he’s well past dead at this point, and this wall is looking pretty saturated.

I can hear his wife sobbing. There’s another, smaller voice wailing too. They...are my problem. They’re too emotionally compromised right now, but I’ve always been good at keeping a level head. I should help them come up with a plan of what to do now, mitigate the fallout this will have on their lives.

‘Please don’t hurt us! We didn’t know anything about it, I swear!’ This is going to take some work. ‘The violence is over. I believe you, and I know that this is a lot to have happen all at once. He mentioned a generous pension, was it enough to support you all?’ Dry your tears, muffle your sobs; I can wait.

She’s putting on a brave face for her daughter, but I can feel the desperate helplessness under her voice. I shouldn’t crowd her, try to look as nonthreatening as I can. Hard not to loom when my helmet’s almost touching the door frame. ‘Yes, neither of us had to work. He said he’d go crazy if he was cooped up with me all day, so he spent a lot of time in town, but he wasn’t bringing home any extra money, and he’d always start yelling if I asked him what he’d been doing...’ More crying. Her daughter’s old enough to stand, this has been going on for years. ‘I’m sorry to have revealed this to you.’ ‘No, no it all makes sense now that it’s laid out. He said he wanted the quiet of the outer rim, but it never quite made sense. He had a glowing Imperial career, retired early and suddenly, then uprooted our lives to come live outside of Imperial jurisdiction. We could have easily moved to a resort planet – I should’ve known there was something wrong. How could I be so stupid?!’ I have no experience with comforting people, what would Brayli say to me if I were telling her all this right now?

‘You did as well as you could with the circumstances you had.’ It would have sounded nicer coming from her, but that’s the best I can do. I don’t think that’s a skill I can develop just by doing practice drills. ‘I just want to make sure you don’t lose access to his pension. Submit a death report and state that he received an officer’s pension, that should start the enrolment process for widow’s benefits. Do you know his old identification number?’ ‘Yes, he kept his old name tag framed on his desk. It’s on the back of that.’ ‘Take the rest of the night to recollect yourself, then start that process tomorrow morning.’ ‘Thank you, for...for only hurting him.’

‘Ma’am, this was purely professional. You and your daughter were never in any danger.’ ‘Professional?! I was biting my tongue so you wouldn’t hurt us, but even I can only take so much. You beat my husband against the wall until his head started coming off in chunks! If that’s what passes for professionalism around here, then the first thing I’m doing once I get that pension settled is selling this place and moving back to the core!’ ‘I – That’s not what I meant. I was just trying to reassure you; as long as you don’t cross any crime bosses then you’ll have nothing to fear.’

‘Oh, nothing to fear, just that all my neighbours are psychopathic killers? That really helps, thanks. Go back to your boss, I’m sure they’re licking their chops waiting to hear all about it. Hell, take him with you, I don’t even want to bury him! I’m sure if I tried I’d get attacked by a pack of professional cannibals just doing the business of stealing his body for supper! Fuck off you freak, what the hell’s wrong with you?’ Letting that out probably made her feel a little better, I won’t begrudge her that.

Really running down the list of things to feel good about tonight, but the walk helped clear my head a little, and being told I’ve done a good job has never failed me yet. Cartel exemplification usually emphasizes brutality, I covered that part already – and then displays the body in a public place with clear markings to denote the reason for the execution. Vranki should have everything I need for that. The sandstorm looks like it’s letting up too, so tonight isn’t all bad.

Hey Troo – oh what the – did you drag this guy all the way across town?’ ‘Could you ask someone to bring me out some writing materials, adhesive, and rope? Vranki wants me to make an example out of him, so I was planning to hang him up somewhere holding a sign explaining what he did.’ ‘Yeah, sure thing. Could you toss him around the corner though maybe?’

Taking a while to get those supplies. I suppose being able to produce temporary signage isn’t a high priority for a crime den, it makes sense. It would be embarrassing to have to go on a late night shopping trip to finish the job though. Oh good, here comes one of her guards. ‘Here. Had to scrounge through a couple piles of junk, but we had it kicking around. Not sure what it has to do with a hit, but whatever. Can I get back to my shift?’ ‘This will be sufficient. Thank you, dismissed.’ ‘Geez, you really are a trooper.’

Messaging is easy enough “I messed with Vranki’s girls” unambiguously draws a line of cause and effect. Just need to line his hands with glue, press them onto the board – done, just needs to set. The rope is going to be difficult. The simplest method for this sort of display is a hangman’s noose, but I didn’t leave him with a neck. I guess I can tie it under his armpits, that should be good enough. Just need to hoist him from a lightpole now.

Still not quite sure where would constitute a main street in this town, but trade is the heart of any community, so hanging it where the market meets should make sure the message finds its way around. Never realized how difficult it was to hoist up a body like this. How high should I put it, is it legible that far from the ground? Don’t want it so low people are getting kicked in the head as they walk by. Four meters off the ground should suffice. There, job’s done! Just need proof of the deed, and back to get my pay.

‘Oh cool, you’re not dragging a body this time. Here to collect your pay, right?’ ‘Yes. I think Vranki will be quite pleased with my work.’ I can’t imagine anything setting a more clear example than that. ‘Sure, head on in. The boss must really like you to be willing to see you this late.’

I’m sure he means professionally, but does she? She always speaks in very friendly terms, but I just assumed that was simply because she was care free and unprofessional. It would certainly be easier than dating a civilian, wouldn’t need to worry about her shying away from my line of work. I guess it might muddy finances though, taking jobs from my girlfriend. Emperor, what am I saying, I’ve been down this road and I have no interest in retreading it. I’ll inquire professionally in the interest of clearing the air, but nothing more.

‘Trooper, you’re back! You were sounding almost like a battle droid earlier, are you feeling any better? Seline gave me the broad strokes of your interaction, purely in the interest of making sure neither of us would end up stepping on each others’ toes, doing anything rash. You understand, right?’ ‘I do. The job is done, I believe this should suffice for full payment.’ ‘Well, there’s certainly room to negotiate that, let me just pull the—Emperors Grace! Yes, I certainly think you’ve earned the full two thousand; I didn’t figure you to be the type for Hutt Cartel Slaughterhouse tactics, but it certainly gets the point across. You’re not looking for a more permanent position are you? I think you’d make a wonderful head enforcer.’ She definitely likes me.

‘No ma’am, official association puts a target on my back, and I’m just trying to make enough money to get by.’ ‘Ah, well, I can understand that. I’d turn you out if you weren’t just so damn good at your job. Was there anything else?’ ‘Yes. I just want to state that I don’t reciprocate your feelings. It would complicate our professional relationship, and I hope you’re still willing to employ me.’ ‘Feelings? Trooper, what in the galaxy are you talking about?’

‘I was under the impression you were courting me. Offering me lucrative jobs despite our brief professional interaction, your flirtatious vocal intonation whenever we speak, and sabotaging my prostitute experience to leave me romantically inclined.’ She’s laughing hard enough to drown out the usual din of this place. She’s falling out of her chair. She’s on the floor struggling for breath. At least there won’t be any professional conflicts.

‘Trooper, please, you really need to warn a girl before you say something that hysterical. Ahem, no, don’t worry – I know I might not run the tightest ship around here, but I’m not in the habit of sleeping with my subordinates.’ More laughter, I get the point. ‘My apologies ma’am. I’m glad to hear there won’t be any hard feelings.’

‘Don’t get me wrong Trooper, I’d love nothing more than for you to sign on full time, I’d be the only game in town by the end of the month; but I see you as a very competent and useful ally, nothing more. You know what? Here, fifty credits, I haven’t laughed that hard in years. Go get some sleep, you seem like an early riser.’ I guess that was a little absurd on my part. I feel a good deal better too, her laugh is infectious. Not as much as Brayli’s though.

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #cw: violence #cw: death

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scrumpledorph-writes · 9 months ago

Text

Koben’s Second Date (stress induced breakdown)

18:00 hours. Standing outside Brayli’s apartment door. Spent the day productively; ordered a new lock, door, and shutters for the hovel, then replaced all the exhausted pieces of thermal weave on my armor. I’m freshly showered and in the best clothes I’ve ever owned, about to see the prettiest woman I’ve ever met – so why can’t I shake what happened this morning?

Is this how civilians feel when they have to kill someone? Like they’ve done something horrible that they can’t ever take back? I’ve lost count of all the kills I’ve confirmed over my career, were they all like him? Just people who got wrapped up in things over their head and paid for it with their lives? He was just a kid, why couldn’t he have picked someone else, anyone else, instead of an attack dog who ran off leash and can’t seem to stop mauling people? The kind of dog that needs to be euthanized. 18:02, I’m late.

I’ll feel better when I’m with her, I always do. Three firm knocks, not too impertinent, not too insistent. ‘Oh hey sugar! I’m a little surprised you didn’t wear your other suit, but this one looks a lot better on you. C’mon in.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘You buy that thing just for tonight? Didn’t know caravan guards got paid so well.’ I should downplay the suit, not make it so obvious I’m trying to impress her. ‘I plan to wear it more than once. The armor was considered formal in the military, so I never needed nice clothes before.’ ‘Better keep it in a vacuum sealed bag, the dust’ll ruin that shine.’ That’s good advice, I hadn’t considered that – still not quite situated to desert living.

Kitchen sink full of unwashed dinnerware, sculptures made from spare speeder parts lining the walls, an unfinished project lying next to a half packed toolkit on the dining room table, and oil stains everywhere else. It’s an affront to Naval Domicile Code, but I can’t help but like it knowing that she made it this way.

‘I like your decor.’ ‘Oh thanks, I wind up with a lot of useless parts at the shop and it’s easier to just make something out of ‘em than haul ‘em off. Could leave ‘em around for the Jawas to pick up, but encouraging them is how you wind up with useful stuff missing.’ ‘Maybe you could hire me to take potshots at them.’ Easy to make her laugh, easy to laugh with her.

‘What are you working on in the kitchen?’ ‘Bought a perfectly refurbishable droid someone tossed out, plan to make it into a shop assistant, maybe even get it to help me clean up around here.’ ‘You know how to repair droids?’ ‘Sure. It’s not too far off from a speeder, and I’ve known those since before I could drive one.’ Highly versatile skill set, would have made a great Imperial Technician if they weren’t so strict about species requirements. ‘I learned how to do emergency repairs, maybe I could help you some time.’ ‘That’d be nice. Kind of left it sitting a while – been too tired after work to get much done on it.’

‘Not used to guests, you don’t mind eating on the couch, do ya?’ I’d share a meal in a latrine with her if it came to it. ‘Not at all. What are we having?’ ‘Got jerky, sweet bread, regular bread, should have enough blue milk left for two glasses, and these tatos have looked better but I don’t smell anything coming off of ‘em, so they should be fine. Haven’t had time to restock the conserve lately, probably should’ve planned that out a bit better. Sorry sugar.’ If nothing else, she certainly eats like a soldier. ‘We could go out to eat if you’d like, I can cover it.’ ‘Nah, want to keep you all to myself tonight.’

‘That sounds like fine sandwich material, and I know how to use a knife.’ ‘I’d hope they taught ya how to use a knife in the army. Go ahead.’ These knives are dull, won’t cut cleanly. ‘Do you have anything to sharpen a knife with?’ ‘Think I keep a whetstone around for some of my tools, lemme go get it real quick.’

This date is nice. I never realized how empty I keep my lodgings. Every centimeter of this place looks like it’s hers, and I might as well be a live in housekeeping droid for how barren and organized I keep mine. Maybe I could ask her to make one of those sculptures for me, put it in the corner. I have no idea what I’d want her to make, but I trust her judgment. There’s a knock at the door.

‘Hey sugar, could you get that? Got a couple boxes unpacked looking for that whetstone back here.’ ‘Okay.’ Who could that possibly be? She doesn’t sound concerned, but I can’t imagine she was expecting any guests. Didn’t want to be intimidating by bringing my blaster pistol along, so I suppose this knife will have to do. Maybe it’s nothing. Just a neighbour with an unusual lack of boundaries but a good nature who wants to say hello to the stranger he saw walk into an acquaintance’s apartment. ‘Hell-’ Neighbours don’t normally lead with a pistol bolt to the midsection.

‘Well, no shit. Looks like tailing that kid paid off. Evenin’ Miss Tarani.’ Situation analysis: I’m on the ground, her blaster’s trained on me, and her clothes are just reinforced enough to keep this knife from penetrating. Would have to go for the face or neck, next to impossible to spring up and reach her without taking another shot, and this suit doesn’t disperse blaster fire nearly well enough to fight through it. She sounds smug; get into cover and play for time.

Another shot to the leg. Hurts, but it’s an impact pain, not a penetrating burn. That tailor really knows his craft. ‘Aww c’mon now, don’t make me shoot this place up. Figured an ex Trooper’d have a bit more dignity than that. Course, if that were the case you wouldn’t have ditched ‘em, so I s’pose it makes sense.’ ‘How did you find me?’ ‘Just told ya. Tailed that kid who was blabbin’ askin’ around for ya. He was pretty sure you were on this planet, and lo and behold here you are.’ Two bounty hunters in one day is downright unlikely, but at least this one I don’t see myself being torn up over.

I’m pinned down, but she’s just standing around, waiting. That’s what I’d do, she’s good. ‘I was in the area, waiting for the heat to die down from another job – and figured I could do with a bit of supplemental income. No clue what an inquisitor is, but killing one must’ve made the Empire real mad atcha to rack up a six figure bounty.’ Just stop talking damn it.

‘Why did you wait so long to attack me?’ ‘What, you want me up at the ass crack of dawn trekking through the desert? Fat chance. Been keeping an eye out for you is all, paid a couple locals to give me a tip if they saw ya. That getup of yours sticks out pretty far around here, and nobody can forget that nasty scar you’ve got.’ Footsteps, shooting angle is changing. Guess she’s done talking. ‘Well, ain’t got all night to be jawing with ya, and ya took those blaster shots like a champ, so I’m just gonna have to go ahead and put this thing on kill. Just business; you get it, don’tcha?’ I do. One last shot ringing through the room.

No pain? She’s on the ground. Brayli’s holding a smoking blaster?! ‘Oh don’t give me that look sugar, you’ve seen how many people carry heat around here. Didn’t think I owned one?’ ‘I didn't think you’d be willing to kill for me.’ Wish I had a holo-recorder; Brayli blowing the smoke off a blaster barrel is worthy of being the first decoration I put up. ‘It’s on stun, and nobody’ll give me guff for defending my girlfriend in a break in.’

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. We’re girlfriends. Even though I brought a bounty hunter to her door, got one of her statues blasted apart, and left a body on her hands. Why? I’m a liability, a danger. She must have heard everything; she has to know I’m a wanted, oath breaking, backstabbing killer who’s outlived my usefulness��and she isn’t turning me away. ‘You alright, sugar? Looking a bit rattled, she didn’t hit anything important did she?’ ‘No, this suit is blaster resistant. The impact should be reduced to minor bruising, no medical attention required.’

‘That’s a relief. I’ll wipe up these scorch marks, you wanna go dump her outside? Got a feeling you’re stronger than me.’ ‘What’s the proper conduct for disposing of a body around here?’ Can’t report her to the local Imperial police. ‘Just dump her in the alley, she’ll dust herself off eventually. Maybe missing her credit pouch, but that’s what she gets.’ Simple enough disposal.

Everyone’s eyes are sliding off me once they realize what I’m carrying, it’s refreshing. A squadron of troopers make an intimidating united silhouette, but towering over the rest by a head always managed to attract mocking stares from normal looking women. Once you’re trained to constantly monitor your surroundings it’s hard to stop, even in civilian areas, so I could always feel their eyes crawling across me like tank treads.

It was worse when I had to talk to them. As soon as they saw my face and heard my voice – Tessa never gave me enough time to practice changing it, so instead of the crisp and clear authoritative voice I’d spent years honing, the most feminine thing I can muster is this low rasp—the cowed respect of talking to a soldier melted away and the barely contained revulsion underneath sprung up from an ambush position.

Their faces would always turn red with anger, they could only glance at me for a few seconds before needing to look away in disgust, and were always biting their lips to stop themselves from mocking me openly. Sometimes they’d even trace their finger along my breastplate, drawing a map of all the flaws and imperfections that lay underneath. If I’m too much of an eyesore not to stand out, being too frightening to look at is a sufficient substitute.

Glad to see a dumpster here, makes my job easier. Brayli said just leave her in the alley, but even if she doesn’t know where I live, she knows where Brayli does, and that’s even worse. I’ll be running from bounty hunters for the rest of my life, but if she’s kind enough to look past everything about me – the least I can do is keep her out of the line of fire. Killing to protect someone you love is okay, right? I used to hear that line a lot from the other side of the battlefield, I think it makes sense.

‘Cradling me in your arms now? What, this how you pick up chicks?’ Oh, she’s conscious, barely. That makes this more difficult. ‘I’m positioning you to snap your neck. If you resist it might not be clean.’ ‘Can’t feel my arms anyway. Putting me face first in a dumpster though, ain’t nothin’ clean about it. You’re a real freak y’know?’ I know, but somehow I’m still going. ‘I’ll rest the lid on the underside of your chin, then put the rest of my weight down on your collarbone. It should be a clean break, instant internal decapitation. No mess for whoever finds you.’ ‘Oh, how nice of ya. Hope whoever finally gets you takes you in alive so the Empire can make it slow, cunt.’ I’ve never done anything like this before, usually when I want to kill someone I just use a weapon – but from what I remember of my anatomical lessons this should work. Three, two- ‘So, these gonna be my last words? Guess I’ll go with the ol’ reliable then: fuck you.’ One.

Not certain why I’m laying her corpse in a dignified position. I have better things to spend my evening doing, but I guess treating someone you kill’s body with respect makes it a little less bad? It doesn’t make any sense to me – she’s still dead – but that’s what people seem to think, so I guess if I ever want to be normal I should start doing it. Hands over her chest, lying straight, eyes closed. I can kind of see it now actually, she looks almost serene. No, I can’t actually.

This is ridiculous. She’s dead, I killed her, she’s never coming back, just like that kid this morning. All of this ritual and fanfare is just a way that people ease their own pain. But I’ve been through way worse pain than this and come out just fine. Nobody ordered me to kill them, sure I made that call myself this time, but somebody told them to come kill me!I was just defending myself! Fuck them, they made their beds and they died in them because they were weak!

I went through hell and back in the Storm Corps, then jumped back into the thick of it to hunt down Jedi – the bastards who can chop you in half and scramble your brain on a whim - so Tessa could use me for her own gain, and then I killed her for it! I’m my own woman: no Empire, no Inquisitor; I might be a rabid dog, but now I’m holding the leash! I have the strength, I have the skills, I have the resolve: I’m going to live my life how I want to and everybody who tries to stand in my way will pay the price!

III

That felt good, really good. Feel like I could sprint across this whole planet if I wanted to. ‘Hey sugar, you were out there a while. Everything okay?’ ‘Oh I’m better than okay babe, I feel great; better than I have in years! Did a bit of thinking after I snapped that bounty hunter’s neck-’ ‘You killed her?’ ‘Of course I did, she knew where you live. What, did you want her to come back when I wasn’t around, get revenge on you?’ Civilians can be so frustrating sometimes. ‘I guess when you put it that way...Are you sure you’re feeling alright? You’re acting kinda strange.’ ‘Brayli, I’ve spent so long feeling like trash I forgot what it was like not to, but now I’m ready to be a woman – your woman.’ Not sure what she looks so shook up over, I took care of the bounty hunter already.

‘Well, that’s umm – nice. I got those blaster marks off, and found the whetstone.’ ‘Great, I’ll get that knife so sharp it’ll go clean through the next person to try breaking in.’ She’s not laughing as hard as usual, she must still rattled from the bounty hunter, makes sense. Guess I’ll just have to laugh extra hard to set her at ease.

Oh yeah these knives are looking great now, this cleaver could go through bone! Bread’s cut, tato’s cut, meat’s cut—easy peasy. ‘Food’s done, hope you’ve got an appetite, because I double stack them.’ ‘Yeah, I worked up a bit of one while you sharpened all my knives. Didn’t you just use the one?’ ‘Well yeah but they were all dull! The whetstone was already out, better to spend twenty minutes now and then not have to worry about it later than to keep pulling it out every time you need to use a knife you hadn’t already sharpened, right?’ ‘It’s just not very romantic watching you sharpen knives is all.’ Seriously? Nothing got me going like Tessa sharpening a knife while I waited in anticipation. Oh well, growing pains I guess; better to learn that now.

‘Not bad for bottom of the conservator leftovers, right?’ ‘Yeah.’ She’s been off for a while now. I figured a good meal would be enough to set her right, but now it’s time to be direct. ‘Hey Brayli, you alright? You’ve been a lot quieter than usual since the bounty hunter showed up.’ ‘Oh, have I? I guess I’m still just a bit nervous about it is all.’ She’s not as strong as me – she needs a firm, comforting hand on her shoulder.

‘Babe, don’t worry; she’s dead. We can even go look if you like, walk off dinner with a stroll down to the alley, check her vitals together. It’ll be nice, let’s go!’ ‘Koben, I don’t want to see a dead body! I – I get why you killed her, and I’m sorry for making you go through that for me-’ ‘Oh don’t sweat it, I would’ve had to anyway for my sake if not for yours.’ ‘That! That’s why I’ve been off tonight!’...What?

‘I don’t – babe what do you mean? I took care of it.’ ‘It’s you! Right now you’re nothing like you were in your holonet bio, or the bar, or when we stumbled into each other in that shuttle! You never made a secret of being in the army, sure, but you didn’t brag about killing people!’ ‘I’m not bragging, I’m just explaining why it had to happen-’ ‘And I’m asking you to stop! I knew you had some baggage, sure, nobody wears a suit of armor to a first date without something going on; but you were trying so hard to be gentle, and it was nice hearing you ramble about how much your gear meant to you, and watching the sunset with you was magical – but right now you’re-’ ‘I’m what?!’ Too assertive? Too proud of myself? Did she only like me when I was meek and bending over backwards, like Tessa; and everyone else who’s ever been in my life?! ‘You’re scaring me.’

Oh. Oh no. She’s right, what am I doing? I don’t want to be like this. I always hated the guys who did what I’m doing back in the corps, why am I doing this? What’s wrong with me? I don’t like killing people, it’s just the only thing I’m good at. ‘Brayli, you’re right, please, I’m-’ ‘You’re squeezing me.’ I’m so stressed my hands are clenching, and I was still holding her shoulder. I can see marks on her skin – that tender, delicate skin that I defiled with my hands that only know how to cause harm. I could take a hundred spa days and go on a diet and get rid of the scar and the muscles and the equipment and it wouldn’t change a thing. I’ll always be a killer.

‘I didn’t mean to, I didn’t even realize it was happening.’ Silence, too long, each of these seconds feels like hours. Please just say something. ‘It’s alright sugar. That bounty hunter had you rattled and you went a little overboard. Soon as I asked you to stop, you did, so I forgive you. Everyone gets a little carried away sometimes.’ She’s smiling at me. Even after all that; after I came into her home and acted like an occupying force and wounded her she’s still forgiving me. I don’t deserve that. I only hurt her a little this time, but what about next time?

What if I have another bad dream, one of the really bad ones: a botched op with my squad dying around me. What if I woke up attacking a Jedi but it was just her? No way she’s strong enough to push me off of her, or unwrap my hands from around her throat. I love her too much to accept this. She’s smart and sweet and funny and beautiful; she’ll find someone who deserves her.

‘Brayli, I love you too much to be willing to put you in danger like that again.’ ‘You can carry your blaster next time, it’s fine.’ ‘Not from the bounty hunter, from me. I’m a blaster with a hair trigger and no safety. I already hurt you once, and I can’t do it again.’ ‘What’re you saying sugar?’ ‘I open up too much around you, you make me feel too comfortable! I talk more, I make jokes, I show emotion, I let my guard down! I’ve spent most of my life killing people, or thinking about how I’d do it if I had to, or wanting to and only being restrained by the rigid hierarchy of the Imperial Navy! I can’t afford to get comfortable around anybody, ever.’

‘Seeing you relax and get comfy around me is one of the reasons I like you, do you have any idea how romantic that is? Watching that tough soldier shell chip away little by little? Please just stop this, come sit down, I’ve got a vid picked out and everything. Please.’ I feel like I’m drowning in tears, but they won’t come out. Hers don’t seem to be having that problem. ‘That shell is all there is. I’m sorry for making you think there was a real woman underneath.’

Even when I’m leaving I can’t help but hurt her. Those tears are the last pain I’m ever going to put her through. There’s nothing more to say, just walk away. Clear the dishes – that courtesy is the least I can do – close the door behind me, walk to the speeder, and go home. My home. Nothing delicate to break, nobody vulnerable to hurt: just an armory full of weapons.

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani #sapphic #transgender #cw: dysphoria

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scrumpledorph-writes · 9 months ago

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Koben’s Rude Awakening (Regret)

Had that dream again. Wish all those memories would stay behind me where I left them. Don’t need all of that weighing on me during my date. Maybe I’ll pick up a quick afternoon job, take my mind off of it. Forgot to pick up that thermal weave from Vranki, guess I could patch up my armor until the evening – meticulous handiwork always leaves me feeling satisfied, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about ruining all this beauty treatment I spent so many credits on.

Two fifty, too early to start the day. Guess I should head to the refresher and see about getting in my last two REM cycles. Know this room layout well enough to navigate it in the dark by now: stand up, walk left to the foot of the bed, follow the wall to the first door. I’ve always admired the efficiency of these low wealth housing designs, everything connecting to the main room so there’s no space wasted on hallways. Imperial designs could get downright opulent even for standard accommodations.

Relieved, thirty second sonic wash complete – my mouth could use a rinse while I’m up. A healthy body is a honed weapon, even the slightest physical affliction is a spot of rust on a blade or corrosion on a battery terminal. A parched mouth is a distraction, a distraction is a lapse in reaction time, and a lapse in reaction time is lethal. Resolved, now there should be no impairment to my ability to fall back to sleep. A flashbang just went off in the main room.

Whoever threw it isn’t tracking me actively, or they’d have thrown it in here. Vibro-blade cutting through the wooden deadbolt. Figured just being located remotely enough would deter forced entry, but I need to acquire a better lock. The door is still wood, so if I bought a better lock it would be wasted on it, meaning I need to invest in a full steel door after this. Suppose if I’m doing that I should also upgrade to tamper proof shutters. Home ownership is a real hassle.

‘I know you’re in here Tarani. There’s a nice price on your head, enough to kick-start my bounty hunting career for real, and celebrate my first catch with an unforgettable red light weekend.’ An amateur? I figured I’d be facing down a kill squad, what a relief – this guy barely sounds old enough to pilot a speeder. Guess I’m far enough out that the Empire has better things to do than chase me.

‘Come on, don’t make this difficult. All your gear’s in here with me, just come out so I can blast you already.’ His voice is close now, just a little longer. The light of his glowrod’s poking through the door, just cross the threshold – there! Control the blaster, aim it towards the ceiling – wow this really is just a kid, he doesn’t even come up to my chest – swift knee to the groin, followup to the throat. Couple scorch marks on the ceiling, nothing I can’t wash off. Not a bad blaster, might keep this one under my pillow in case this ever happens again.

He’s reaching for the knife, can’t fault him for trying. One shot to the hand should suffice. ‘Aww fuck, that thing wasn’t on stun you bitch!’ Better search him. Just the vibro-knife for weapons, but a lot of survival gear: ration packs, stims, climbing gear, distress flares, emergency battery, repair tools, inflatable tent, water purifying tablets. Commendable preparation for everything but combat – would have made a great field scout. No idea why he picked bounty hunting.

‘Talk. When and where did you accept the bounty?’ ‘Why would I tell you anything?!’ ‘I have to kill you to keep my location safe. If you answer my questions I’ll shoot you in the head, if not I’ll break your limbs and drop you out on the flats for the scavengers.’ Honestly would have preferred a professional just so we can skip this part. ‘Eat shit lady, when my dad finds out about this-’ Ah, that explains it; rich kid looking for some excitement. Oh well. Right arm is as good as anywhere to start: kneel down, rest the elbow over the leg, brace it at the shoulder-

‘Wait! Holy shit you’re really gonna do it. I’ve been tailing you for three months, from two systems back, using my connections to put together the paper trail on the Buckethead In Black – and it finally led me here.’ That’s what they call me? I was prepared for the life of living off the grid, cutting and running at a moment’s notice – but even the boot-camp nicknames were more flattering than that.

‘Were you working with anyone?’ ‘Do you think anyone else would chase such an old lead this long, hell no!’ ‘Then why did you?’ ‘I wanted a bounty with some real wow to it! I figured your charges had been trumped up – the desertion sounded believable, but I’d never even heard of the Purge Corps or the Inquisition until I started digging – so I thought you were just some nobody who got stuck with a bad reputation by a prick with a grudge on the way out! You get sloppy after five years, I put a stun shot or two in your gut, bring you back in, get a nice fat juicy payday and be the talk of the Bounty Hunter’s Guild for a few months, leverage it into some better work.’

‘You mentioned your father, who is he?’ ‘Doubt you’d know him, he’s an Inner Rim corporate bigshot. Wanted to set me up with a nice cushy desk job, I figured the paperwork would kill me faster than this. Stole one of his spare shuttles, got the tracker ripped out so he couldn’t send a goon squad to rain on my fun. He...He won’t come looking.’ This is depressing. Maybe I should scare him so bad he gives up the life, pack up and find somewhere else to settle down for a while. He goes back home, gets a big teary eyed reunion. I never see Brayli again. Damn it. Sorry kid, you picked a dangerous line of work, and made all the worst mistakes.

‘That’s all my questions. Get up.’ ‘Don’t wanna get blood on your floor? Not like this place is nice enough to bother.’ ‘It’s not that. You haven’t done enough wrong to deserve to die face down in the dark, and the suns come up early here. I don’t want to kill you, but I have to – the least I can do is let you see one of the most beautiful things I can think of before I do it.’ I’ve never been good at handling people crying.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I understand. You get the bounty or the bounty gets you, I guess I just figured that only old bounty hunters who couldn’t keep up any more died.’ He’s taking this better than I expected. I guess all the bluster and machismo loses its appeal when you know it won’t make a difference. ‘You got it backwards kid, the hotshots who think they’ll live forever are the ones who go down first.’ ‘Yeah, that makes sense now that you spell it out. I could take you back with me, get you hired as a bodyguard. Six figures.’ ‘I have other commitments here.’ I can’t blame him for trying. It might have worked a week ago. Hard to keep a blaster pointed at someone while getting dressed.

We’re on the highest dune I can see within walking distance, this will have to do. I can see the light creeping up, nothing to do now but wait a few more minutes. ‘You said something about hotshots. Were you ever one?’ ‘No. I was excited to join the corps, but I was excited to learn the standard way to do things. Spent a lot of free time training.’ ‘Yeah, I can tell. Laid me out so fast I was on the floor before I noticed you.’ It’s the one thing I know how to do, I should be good at it.

‘Oh wow, that is pretty. I’ve never really seen a sunrise before, all the skyscrapers just block it out back home. Thanks. I’m ready whenever I guess.’ ‘You can let the heat soak in for a few more minutes.’ My hand is shaking. This is absurd, I’ve done far worse than this to civilians without flinching back in the Corps. I did it because I needed to, without questioning, because it was an order. But nobody’s ordering me this time.

It’s self defense, he tried to kill me. Even if he’s just a kid in over his head running from his old life, just like I did. Killing for credits, just like I did. Realizing all his mistakes too late, just like I am.

I have enough credits to get Brayli out of here, pack up both our lives and start them over somewhere else. Sure I haven’t told her, but I’ll have to eventually, and if she doesn’t react well then we weren’t meant to be, so it’s better for me to rip off that bandage sooner rather than later. ‘Hey, I’ve soaked it all in. Do it before I get a sunburn and ruin it, okay?’ ‘Okay.’ I never knew a hair-trigger could feel so heavy.

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani

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scrumpledorph-writes · 9 months ago

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Koben’s Recruitment (A New Life)

Five O’clock. Up before the sun, into the mines just as it’s coming up over the mountains, out just as it’s going down. Maybe some day I’ll get to see the whole thing. Wish I could remember it from before I was old enough to work, but oh well. Synth-sunlamps handle my nutrient needs anyway, that’s what they always tell us.

Meal paste tastes like nothing again. Hard to stay above the flavor syrup threshold working by myself, but mom and dad’ll bounce back in a few days. Just a bit too much dust in the system. Their coughs have been getting stronger, they’ll flush it out and be ready to get back to it. I know how much they hate leaving me alone in there. ‘I’m heading out. You two keep gathering up your strength, alright? I love you.’ No response. They know. They’ll be fine.

I wish they could get that blue stuff for it though. Dad said that one time when the cart rolled over his arm and took it off they just put him in a cast with some blue goo holding the arm together, and he was back to normal in time for the evening half of his shift. The medics said a cough wasn’t an emergency at first, and now they say it’s only for good earners.

‘Hey Tarani, you’re running late! Get in the hole!’ Greel-gneek must be having a bad day, his thumb’s already on the switch of his shock whip and I didn’t even talk back. Looks too busy to use it though, the guards have something to say to him. Wonder why their outfits look different today? Not my problem. Better get down the shaft.

Another one of those new guards, ripping down the old posters. They don’t usually come into the mine, but he’s doing good work at least. Never liked that smug old asshole with the fancy sword staring at me all day, hope they put up something nice. Flashier picture, with no words. Don’t know why they bother with words on the motivational posters, not like there’s any time to learn what they say. ‘Hey kid, quit staring, don’t you have work to do?’ Guess they’re not that different from the old ones.

Work is work, same as every other day. Crack open the rock, put the crystals in the cart, scan for more crystals. Do that for seven hours, get some food paste, do it for seven more hours. Easy. I can do this. I do this every day, because when I don’t the foreman comes around and scorches up the place with his whip. I can do this every day for the rest of my life because the Republic couldn’t survive without it.

‘I’m home!’ Worn out, like always, but at least I can enjoy a meal with them. Usually I can see the lamp on from the window, but all the coughing must have given them a migraine. That’s fine, we can eat in the dark. Resting in bed, that’s good. I’ll bring them their paste. They’re not moving.

They’re cold. They didn’t get better. They’re dead. I’m crying. I’m crying and screaming until my throat is too dry to make words, and now I’m knelt over coughing on the floor. The miner from the next hut over is in the doorway. Never had time to learn her name.

She’s gone, and now the emergency alarms are blaring. Guards pointing blasters through the doorway on high alert, guards sighing in relief that it’s just a couple dead workers, guards stepping around me without a word, guards dragging my parents away. They didn’t even call a medic, bring them out on a stretcher. Too dehydrated for any more tears right now. At least I’ll have their ashes by the end of my next shift.

A faint buzzing coming from the doorway. Oh, she’s back, it was a question. ‘I didn’t hear you.’ ‘Do you want to stay at our place tonight? They said you’ll have to move out or let another family move in. I figured since we’re neighbors, well, you know.’ I don’t. I don’t know anything about her or anything at all right now. ‘Okay.’

Can’t sleep. Too sad. Too angry. They were always good earners. They worked as hard as they could, and then when they got sick from the crystal dust they got left to die. There’s a miracle goo, why couldn’t they just give my parents a little bit of it? It doesn’t even make sense. They weren’t that old, not even forty, they had plenty of good years left to work.

Is this a punishment, are my parents criminals? Is there a law that you get punished for whatever crimes your parents did, and that’s why I have to work here too? Now that they’re dead am I gonna have to finish working off their sentences? If I don’t finish it before I die, will my kid need to work off mine on top of theirs?

Do they just hate us? Is this all a cruel sick joke being played for fun, and they’re laughing? That’s the only thing that makes sense. The Republic has droids, smart ones, they show them fighting on the holovids. If they can fight in the wars, they could do this too! Droids don’t need to breathe, the dust wouldn’t even hurt them! They could work longer hours without even needing a break in the middle, just run them a power cable and they wouldn’t even need to leave the mines! There’s just no reason for us to be the ones doing all this unless it’s a joke.

Oh. It’s morning. Get up, eat my meal paste – these people have a little flavoring in theirs, that’s nice – go to the mine. There’s Greel-gneek, that fucking piece of shit bastard. He’s the one who worked them, he’s the one who terrorized us with the whip whenever we fell behind, he’s the one who told me they couldn’t get the goop – both times; I hate his guts. ‘Hey Tarani, I’m sorry to hear about your parents.’ That’s it.

He’s sorry? He thinks he knows what it means to be sorry? I’m gonna teach him, right now. If this is all a cruel sick joke and he gets to go back to his administrator house with the private water shower he can use whenever he wants and the real food to eat and the mattress made with real feathers instead of the compressed slabs we get – if this whole place is the setup to one long joke then I’m at least going to get a laugh in.

The pickaxe is as sharp as always. These things get a lot better care than we do, and take off peoples’ toes with one wrong swing. It should do the job.

Look him in the eye as I start running. He’s reaching for the whip. It’s on my skin, wrapped itself around my shoulder a few times. The pain of the shock’s supposed to be a deterrent, but right now while the tip sears my right cheek all I feel is alive. He’s caught on that it’s not working, and his hands are over his face for protection. Bones crack easier than rocks.

He’s screaming for the guards, all the blustering and threats have melted away. It takes just enough time to pull the pick back that he can adjust what’s left of his arms, but he’ll run out eventually. His viscera splattered enough to short out the whip, so now I can really bring it down properly. One last hit, clean through both arms – and I can feel the stone underneath. One more to be sure, a second for mom, a third for dad, and this last one just because he can’t stop me any more. There. ‘Stand up slowly, and put your hands behind your head.’

Four guards. I’ve never seen more than two called to handle a miner – I guess nobody’s ever done this before. They’re all pointing blasters at me, they want me to go back in the mine. Closing the distance, getting out the shackles. I’m not going back. They can kill me if they want, at least I lasted longer than Greel.

Pickaxe is still sharp, maybe if I’m lucky it’ll go through their suits. Backed up against the wall, everybody else is just watching. Nowhere to go but straight at them, time to hope for the best.

III

Ow. Sore, but not dead. I always figured their blasters killed you, but I guess they’d want to be able to put people back to work after they settle down. This place doesn’t look like anywhere in the mine though – it’s totally metal, not just the cell door, and I can almost see my reflection in the walls. Automatic doors too, fancy. This guy doesn’t look like a mine boss, or one of those off world bosses that used to come by every year. Wearing a lot more black, and his moustache is too short and pointy.

‘You’re awake boy, good. I hear you assaulted a mine foreman.’ ‘Killed him.’ ‘I was getting to that part. That’s a capital offense you know.’ ‘I don’t.’ ‘You don’t what?’ ‘Know what that means.’ ‘Ah, yes, I forget the educational standards of the labour colonies at times.’ ‘You making fun of me?’ ‘No no boy, allow me to rephrase: you’re to be executed.’ ‘Oh.’

I guess that makes sense. Gotta set an example for the rest of them, no different than when the miners try to go on strike and get whipped so bad they can barely stand after. ‘You don’t sound very concerned for your life.’ ‘Better than going back to the mine. How they gonna do it anyway?’ Guess this guy must not deal with miners often, he looks shaken up. ‘You’ll be brought before an imperial firing squad and shot.’ ‘That sounds fine, when’s it gonna happen?’ What’s he getting so mad about? I’m the one who’s gonna get killed.

‘Hold on a minute and let me speak, boy! If that were the end of it I wouldn’t even be here, but there were other details of your incident that were noteworthy.’ ‘Like what?’ ‘You carried out this assault while being electrocuted with a shock whip for well over a minute. An impressive accomplishment for most grown men – for a child to perform such a feat is truly unthinkable.’ ‘I’m grown.’ ‘According to the record you’re fifteen, that’s still firmly a child.’ ‘I was just too mad to feel it, that’s all.’ ‘I assure you, most men are brought low by shock whips no matter how angry they may feel in the moment.’

‘Guess they don’t have much to be mad about. My parents just died, and he killed ‘em. Now him and I are even, so dying’s not so bad.’ ‘That’s quite a serene philosophy for a boy your age, but also a wasteful one. Might I propose an alternative?’ ‘Sure.’

‘How would you feel about joining the Stormtrooper Academy?’ ‘That the soldiers, go out and fight the wars?’ ‘The very same. Your remarkable pain threshold and drive caught my attention during the incident report. I felt it would be a shame to waste such natural gifts.’ ‘Forget it, I ain’t fighting for the Republic.’

‘The Republic?’ What, is this guy stupid? ‘Them bastards run the mine, and if I ever meet that smug asshole with the fancy sword they put on the posters I’ll be right back here in jail.’ ‘My dear boy, I have wonderful news for you: the Republic is gone!’ ‘Since when?’ ‘It’s only been a few months, but the Republic has been swept away and in its place has formed a mighty Empire!’ Well that’s good news I guess.

‘They still run the mine?’ ‘The Empire has taken de facto control of every territory the Republic controlled, so yes, but we are in a transitory period! Under the Emperor’s leadership we will usher in a new age, where humans no longer live and die in toil!’ This guy sure is excited about this Emperor. Guess it makes sense a guy with all that in mind would want to take down the Republic. He sounds alright.

‘What’s being a soldier like?’ ‘You won’t be a soldier right away, you will first receive a comprehensive education: reading, writing, arithmetic – alongside studying the trade of warfare. When you come of age, eighteen years old in case you are unaware, only then will you find yourself called to serve.’ ‘Uh huh. But what’s that gonna be like? If it’s anything like the mine you might as well get that execution over with now.’

‘I promise you dear boy it will be far better than the mines. Shorter hours, better accommodations, real food – an improvement in every way.’ ‘That sounds alright then. Sure.’ ‘Wonderful, I will just need your signature here.’ Real funny. ‘You know I can’t write.’ ‘Ah, yes, of course, my apologies. An X will suffice. I will serve as witness to its veracity.’ This guy sure likes using big words, but fine.

‘Can I ask for one thing?’ ‘You’ve already been granted a generous boon, but I take you for a boy of humble demands. Make your request.’ ‘Before we head out, could I go pick up my parent’s ashes? I know the mine bosses are probably pretty mad at me, but I figure if you guys own the place you can tell ‘em to hand ‘em over.’ Least I could do for mom and dad is keep ‘em around so they can watch me be the first Tarani to make it off world. ‘Before we head out? I had you loaded into my ship and departed immediately. You were unconscious for twelve hours, we’re already a system and a half away.’ Oh.

‘Could you leave me alone for a while?’ ‘We’re on a tight schedule, but I can take my supper and return in an hour.’ Already getting choked up, just nod and keep it in until he’s gone. Crying’s fine, but never do it in front of a boss.

The Empire sure loves making people fill out forms. Maybe that’s just a part of being a soldier they don’t put in the holovids, probably nobody would enlist if they did. This secretary’s real pretty though. ‘Alright, you’re registered in the system, cadet. Just follow the signs down the hallway to the medical center for a bacta sweep.’ She smiles nice.

This place is big. Really big. I used to think the mine offices having two floors was impressive, but I guess they don’t have to worry about people jumping off the roof with it being so nice. Easy to get lost though, all kind of looks the same. Hate to wander after they told me where to go, but I’ve almost gotta. Think I’m nearly there.

‘Hey there. I’m here for whatever a “bacta sweep” is.’ Never seen a droid doctor before, hope it knows what it’s doing. ‘Affirmative, please stand on the platform for a scan.’ ‘What’s that for?’ ‘Identifying medical aberrations within your body so the bacta can be programmed and your physiology can be corrected to baseline.’ ‘That means you’re gonna make me healthy, right?’ ‘Affirmative.’ That blue goop! Guess that’s what bacta is. Never seen so much of it, they said it was worth more than the crystals we were mining. This Emperor must take really good care of his people if he gives them so much of this stuff.

‘Scan complete. Stunted growth, developmental complications attributed to malnutrition, minor lung damage, second degree burns to the flesh of the right shoulder and face. Please standby for tank calibration.’ ‘Bacta doesn’t leave scars, right?’ ‘Affirmative.’ Scars look tough, and since I don’t have nothing else I could use a keepsake from home. ‘Could you leave the burn on my face? I’d like it to scar up natural.’ ‘Query: what purpose would such action serve? Bacta consumption of such injuries is negligible.’ ‘I want a reminder of killing that son of a bitch.’ ‘Psychological value noted. Calculating. Scarring predicted to heal functionally, no loss of combat prowess incurred. Request accepted. Standby for adhesive patch, please apply to area to be excluded before submerging.’

Hurts like hell putting that thing on burnt skin, but it’ll be worth it. ‘So how’s this stuff work? My dad just got it smeared on his arm and it was enough to glue it back together.’ ‘Topical application sufficient for localized injuries; you possess chronic medical deficiencies that require redress.’ Why do droids have to talk so big? ‘Complete bodily immersion will be necessary for a period of twenty four hours. The bacta will permeate your deep tissue and correct your bodily development to within acceptable parameters for a soldier. I will append to your file that this process will require additional caloric intake for up to six months as the body actuates the process.’ ‘Could you say that again with smaller words? All I got was that it’ll take a day and then something else might take half a year.’ Real glad droids aren’t made to be judgy.

‘Initializing informal lexicon, engaging childcare subroutines—starting over. You’re small for your age from being overworked, your muscles and bones are weak because you weren’t fed enough, you can’t breathe properly because there’s dust in your lungs, and you’re burnt up pretty good from that scuffle you got into. None of that’s your fault, and the bacta’ll fix it all up for ya, but you need to float in that tank for a day so it can soak deep into you, okay?’

It sounds just like my dad used to when it was time for a checkup. Can’t believe I’m crying into a droid nurse’s chest, but I’m pretty sure they don’t gossip. It even runs hot enough to give a warm hug. If they’re kind enough to make droids that can be nice to orphans, I hope this Empire lasts forever. It could use better hands for tussling hair though.

‘There there, it’s alright kiddo. I’ll give you a little shot to make you sleepy first – you’ll hardly notice it happening; it’ll just be a nice warm floaty feeling. The tank’ll be covered too, so you won’t have to worry about anybody seeing you naked in there. Once that’s done, your body will need time to carry out the bacta’s instructions – you’ll get bigger and stronger, but you’ll need to eat more than usual. This should be done within six months. Did that clear everything up?’

‘Yeah, thank you. I still don’t really get how it all works, but being normal sized and not wheezing sounds nice. Could ya keep talking like this? It’s a lot easier to understand, and-’ Choking up too much to talk, but it’s smart, it knows what I mean. No clue why they make the droids talk that other way. ‘Sure thing kiddo, I getcha. When you’re ready I’ll need you to strip down for me – I’ll fold up your clothes in a neat little pile, don’t worry – then I’ll put the needle in. It might hurt a little, but after you step into the tank I’ll start the drugs. Once they kick in, I’ll handle everything else while you relax, okay? But we can keep hugging for a few more minutes if you like.’

I’m good now. Just had to get that out of my system I guess. Hadn’t taken the chance to do that with either of them in a long while. Clothes off, needle in, feeling...good. It’s giving me a funny little mask, and now the goop’s pouring in. It’s waving to me as the tank doors close, but I’m too floaty to wave back right now. It knows I would, it’s really nice. ‘Dis~~~~~~ng c~~ld~~re su~~~~~ines’ Hard to hear it, but I’m sure it’s fine. Time to have a good sleep.

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani

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