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blitzkrieg-mit-dem-fleischgewehr · 8 years ago

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The KISS Rule : chapter 1 (Keep)

I don’t even know where to start with all of this....except that this is turning into a huge project. A good project though, and I hope that I can keep the motivation to continue with it.

SO, first thing first! I have many people I need to thank for just everything about this.

I want to thank @gerame for having their blog and writing a bunch of ‘prompts’. That was what really planted the seed of this idea into my head. It was meant to be short...really just a stand alone fic but I always have to make it difficult for me.

I also want to thank my friend Andrea for sitting through me talking her ear off and also giving me very good suggestions. Her suggestions gave better direction to this chapter and filled me with motivation to continue.

@christieanne, this beautiful human being actually stayed at work longer to edit my piece of shit of a chapter. She also listened to me rant about ideas and cry over the fact that I suck at life and that I’m a very impatient person when it comes to writing. THANK YOU!

Lastly! I want to thank the amazing wonderful little lady @littlegaywitch who was essentially Alfred for me. I asked her so many questions about Alfred’s character that I’m surprised she hasn’t blocked me. If it wasn’t for you feeding me a good chunk of dialogue for Alfred...I would have been fucked...royally (and I think you know how I feel about royalty and monarchs). THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Other than that...this is a GERMERICA historical fic. I did manipulate a bit of history to suit the timeline of my story. For example: Hal, the Candy Bomber, didn’t start dropping candies for the kids of Berlin until after Christmas. I am guilty of making it earlier to use as a small plot device.

I hope to continue this and to touch base on Ludwig and Alfred’s relationship through the Cold War and how it grows and transforms. However, other than that, I hope whoever decides to read this...enjoys this! B)

----

26 June 1948 – 30 September 1949

The first time Ludwig had thought about kissing Alfred had been during the Berlin Blockade. It had been a fleeting thought, one that had surprised Ludwig the very moment it had manifested in his mind.

---

Ludwig and Alfred hadn’t had a particularly good relationship at that point. At the end of the war, the agreement had been that Ludwig needed one of three allies supervising him at every moment of his day. It didn’t necessarily mean that Arthur had to be watching over his shoulder while he worked, or that they had to sleep next to him in bed in case he ‘went crazy again,’ as it had been not so nicely put. It was more of a need for one of them to be there to make sure that Ludwig was following the terms of the agreement written out for him. Though they had nailed a copy to the wall right in front of his desk as a constant reminder.

That was why Ludwig’s gutsy decision to leave Bonn for Berlin had been an unpleasant surprise for his occupiers, or at least two of them. He had been under Arthur’s supervision at the time. Ludwig had realised that Arthur hadn’t wanted to be in Germany as much as Ludwig hadn’t wanted to exist anymore, which meant that Arthur was reluctantly doing his duty while also minding what was going on back in Britain. It had been easy for him to find a long enough opening to leave Bonn. If Francis, Alfred, and Arthur thought that Ludwig would sit ideally in his makeshift prison, well, they were mistaken. He would be damned if he ignored the suffering of his people again.

Honestly, this decision had surprised himself too; Ludwig was not sure what had possessed him to physically get up and go. He had hardly been able to function properly with the amount of guilt that had overwhelmed him each day...the self-loathing that increased every time he had to deal with the looks and treatment he would get from Arthur, Francis, and Alfred. In part...those looks...the ‘babysitting’ had been a partial motivation… Another part of Ludwig besides the half that wanted to help his people had been hoping that by going to Berlin there would be a chance that he could see Gilbert. That maybe Ivan had kept his brother close at hand, but seeing as he never got word from him...it really had been a gamble to assume that Ivan had been kind enough to allow for Gilbert to even remain in Germany.

The escape had been easy...Ludwig had gotten word that the RAF had been flying out from the Schleswig Air Base up north, which meant he had to arrange a way to get up there as quickly as possible. There had been a couple of Germans working at the Bonn airport that had helped smuggle him onto a plane heading in that direction. He had remained hidden until landing and it was there that he had transferred to a plane carrying supplies into Berlin, landing at the Tempelhof airport. His plan had been to leave the airport to assess what he could do for his people, but it was clear that fate had something else in store.

The moment he slipped off the plane Ludwig had been left out in the open- he had slid off the side a good while after the cargo door was opened. There were quite a few voices, all speaking English, and the sound of a truck being backed up to the door. It had been in that brief moment that Ludwig had regretted his wayward plan of escaping to Berlin, because the moment the engine was cut was the moment Ludwig knew that there was no way he was stepping foot off of Tempelhof.

“Hey, you! Are you even authorized to be here?” A man with a thick Manchester accent bellowed at Ludwig.

For one, Ludwig had to take a second to really understand what had been shouted at him before he stepped from behind the truck. It had been a horrible hiding place to begin with but with nothing else in the vicinity besides the plane...it hadn’t given Ludwig very many options.

The tall German straightens his posture and although his expression looked very grim and he had been wearing civilian clothing...he hadn’t felt as confident as he hoped to feel.

“I...I have been asked to help with the mechanics of the planes.”

There was no hiding Ludwig’s very thick German accent. He hadn’t bothered working on his English...he hadn’t thought at the time that he would need to speak it very much. He couldn’t have been more wrong, but at least he could communicate. It wasn’t as if the English, or the Americans, didn’t hire German hands to help out.

The English soldier takes Ludwig in, his eyes dragging up Ludwig’s form painfully slowly before his frown deepens. “You’re hardly dressed for the job.”

Ludwig frowns back. “It was a last minute decision in sending me here. I had no time to change or get ready.”

This doesn’t seem to convince the English soldier. “What did you say your name was again?”

Ludwig’s frown deepens. “I did not say my name.”

It was clear the English soldier was not happy with Ludwig’s attitude despite the German only being truthful. It was perhaps the type of honesty that he was conveying that didn’t sit well with the Englishman.

“I will send you right back on that plane with a message saying that we don’t need more Krauts with attitude here in Berlin!”

Ludwig stiffens but he doesn’t say anything, he merely bows his head. “My name is Ludwig. I am very good at mechanics.”

This gets him a bit of a sneer, but Ludwig is beyond the point of caring. All he wants is to be allowed to stay, he would keep his mouth shut and work and no one would have to worry about him. Ludwig wanted to help...he didn’t want to stay imprisoned in Bonn. He wanted to work with his hands so he could forget his pain...even if it was just momentary.

“So the Kraut does have a name. Alright, we can use a mechanic. We’ve been getting at least one hundred flights coming in each day and a good many with some type of problem when they get here. You can help us unload the plane and when we get it into the base we’ll get you some work clothes and set you up,” the man explains. That was all Ludwig needed to hear to relax.

There might be a call made to Schleswig Air Base, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. If he could be of use...there was a higher chance that he could stay. Ludwig just couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take Arthur to figure out where Ludwig had gone to.

----

It had taken approximately three days for Arthur to find Ludwig. In that time, both Francis and Alfred had been called, and because of the precarious situation in Berlin (no thanks to the Soviets) it had been a good thing that the personifications of France, America, and Britain were present in Germany. It had been a moral raiser for the their troops, and it was sending a clear message to Ivan; that none of them were happy with the need to gain permission from Soviet authorities just to be able to send supplies to Berlin by land.

That knowledge had Ludwig feeling a little uneasy because although Arthur hadn’t come to Tempelhof himself...Ludwig knew it would only be a matter of time.

However, in that time, Ludwig had made a name for himself. He was not only the most efficient but also the most adept mechanic at the base. If there was anything that needed major fixing, or was on a time crunch, Ludwig was the one called for the job. So, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise when he was called for this particular job...on this particular day.

Ludwig had gone over to the plane carrying a ladder underneath one arm and a toolbox held in the other hand. As usual, Ludwig sets up his ladder but pauses when he spots a familiar face in the cockpit of the plane. His expression grows grim and if someone looked closely they would be able to catch the fear in his eyes. It was probably a good thing no one was around to notice that...and Ludwig knew he needed to swallow that fear and stand his ground.

He would not go back to Bonn...not yet, not when there was still a lot to do.

Ludwig climbs up the ladder with his toolbox secured under his arm and when he’s stabilized he places the toolbox down on an extension. This allows him the freedom to pull open the ‘hood’ over the engine so he can start his assessment of the plane’s condition.

“You nearly gave Artie a heart attack!” A familiar voice shouts up at him from the ground.

The American’s greeting gets absolutely no reaction out of Ludwig, nor does Ludwig really want to respond or acknowledge Alfred. It just has the taller blond checking each individual piston again.

“I hear you have a reputation here,” Alfred tries a second time. Ludwig didn’t know why Alfred bothered at this point, he was going to try his damndest to keep to himself. At the time, he wasn’t aware that the American was actually fine with the fact that Ludwig had run off like that. It had been the first sign of….well... life, out of Ludwig- and for Alfred that was a step in the right direction. Or so Ludwig had been told later in his life.

Ludwig can hear a sigh before it goes quiet for a few seconds.

“I’m not gonna make you go back to Bonn.” Alfred tries a third time, shoving his hands in his pockets and watching Ludwig hopefully. It was clear he was being honest.

This does have Ludwig pausing in his work to turn just enough so he can see Alfred. The acknowledgment had a smile forming on Alfred’s lips. That was also something Ludwig didn’t understand...how Alfred could smile so easily and so quickly. “So that’s what you’ve been worried about, huh big guy?”

Ludwig’s eyes narrow at the same time his brows furrow.

“If you’re helping I don’t see why you can’t stay.” Alfred shrugs as he stands there for a few minutes more, before his smile slips and his shoulders sag. It was clear that Ludwig wasn’t about to interact more than that one glance, and it was only relief that washes through Ludwig when he hears Alfred retreat from him.

He could stay...that was all that mattered for right now...and what a relief.

---

Ludwig had nothing in Berlin anymore, nothing that he knew was still standing. His goal of helping his own citizens had died the moment he had been caught by the English soldier. This had also opened his eyes to the fact that there really was nothing he could do for his citizens because he could not provide them with the food that they were lacking. However, he could help fix the planes flying in with supplies. He hadn’t been lying when he had told that soldier that he was a mechanic; he was quite proficient with machinery, as it was one of many things that he had learned from Gilbert.

The sad truth was that as much as he hoped to dull the pain by engaging in manual labour, it was only more painful because it reminded him of his brother. It was a devastating reminder of the comforting support he had taken advantage of and lost. Ludwig realised that there had not been a point where Gilbert hadn’t been at his side in some capacity, and now at best he only had him in memory alone. Even then Ludwig couldn’t take comfort in that memory, because he felt responsible for all that had happened.

His decision to quarantine himself at the airport had been the most sensible solution because of his financial and psychological situation. There had been an empty utility room in the ruins of what could have been perceived as an old hangar. Unlike the rest of the building which was trashed, this room had survived the perils of the war and maintained its strong foundation. Nothing decorated any of its walls and it was plagued by drafts, but Ludwig had found something to act as a bedspread for the long and chilly nights and that was enough for him. He had endured far worse during the war, and cold nights were a blessing in disguise. The cold weather gave him a different kind of numbness. It was a welcome sort of painful, especially on the extremely cold nights where eventually his limbs would lose feeling. If he hadn’t been immortal he would have been worried, but feeling usually returned to his extremities at some point after the sun had come out.

It had been a couple of months since Alfred and Ludwig’s first interaction. Ludwig had to give Alfred credit, the American was stubborn. He didn’t take a hint very well and seemed to not mind talking to someone who acted like a wall. It was mostly when Ludwig was working on Alfred’s plane engine; the American would help unload the plane and then he’d come stand by Ludwig’s ladder and tell him things that….well, Ludwig really felt he hadn’t needed to know.

Ludwig had also noticed that Alfred would try to startle him into conversation. He remembers a particular comment rather well because it had struck him as the oddest thing to say to a person. It had played out exactly as so:

Ludwig had been standing on the highest step. He’d been working on Alfred’s plane for a good fifteen minutes at this point, and for ten of those minutes Alfred had not stopped telling him about the first time he had scaled the Rocky Mountains. Ludwig had been quite certain that at one point he had said something about the Grand Canyon but he’d found a difficult bolt to loosen and that had taken up all of his attention.

It must have been in that moment that Alfred had gone quiet. Honestly, Ludwig had been guilty of not noticing- he had gotten so used to drowning out Alfred’s enthusiastic storytelling that when there was silence...it had sounded all the same to Ludwig. It was the frustration of having to deal with Alfred despite Ludwig’s body language clearly indicating that he wanted nothing more to do with the American than the bare minimum that pushed him to so thoroughly ignore him.

Nonetheless, the silence stretched on with Ludwig being none the wiser because of his focus on the task at hand.

“You’re built like a brick shit house, buddy it’s awesome!” Alfred blurted out.

It had been the tone, pitch, and words- everything about the line,really- that had caught Ludwig very much off guard. It made him lose his wrench somewhere in the engine, and his cheeks involuntarily burned up as his brows knit tightly together.

Alfred seemed to have noticed this, and it had him grinning really wide. That was the reaction he was looking for. Ludwig had managed to not say anything, but that had been normal at the time.

“It’s a compliment, I swear!” Alfred assured him as he gave a thumbs up.

Ludwig could only frown deeply at Alfred. “You made me lose my wrench.”

Apparently, the fact that Alfred had gotten Ludwig to say anything at all was a victory for him, because Ludwig had never seen anyone grin so brilliantly except for maybe Feliciano. However, this was a different kind of grin...it was radiant and seemed to glow. Because of that, Ludwig averted his gaze and turned back around to try and fish his tool out of the engine without a further word.

The American was relentless.

It was clear that every flight into Tempelhof Alfred had, led to Ludwig checking up on his plane in some capacity. Today was no different by any means.

Ludwig was made to wait under the metal awning extending from the main airport-like building of Tempelhof. Alfred had radioed in earlier that day upon his departure and Ludwig had been told after his current repairs to wait until Alfred landed.

The outline of Alfred’s C-54 Skymaster was in sight and it wouldn’t be long for it to land. It looked like every other C-54 that came to Tempelhof, but there had been something distinctly Alfred about this plane. Ludwig hadn’t been sure if it was because he already knew it belonged to Alfred or if Alfred’s personality seemed to permeate around whatever object he touched. Either way, Ludwig knew that he should get his things ready to meet the plane in case it did need repairs.

He’s standing at a far enough distance when the plane lands to be safe, but not far enough to avoid the gust of wind that comes with roaring engines and propellers. Ludwig turns his face to the side, squinting every now and then to keep the dirt from getting into his eyes. He eventually does have to bring up his hand to shield his eyes, and luckily not longer after Alfred cuts the engines.

Ludwig doesn’t pay attention to the chaos going on around him as he moves to the plane only to be intercepted by Alfred. The man must have sprinted off the plane to catch him this early. It usually took the American at least ten to fifteen minutes before he disembarked.

“Ludwig!” Alfred shouts out, voice paired with a bright eyed grin. That look has Ludwig’s brows furrowing in suspicion, which then has Alfred laughing at the face he was making. “I’m not gonna hand you over to the KGB or anything. I have something for you!”

That didn’t have Ludwig’s expression easing, it simply made him tense worse. However, that tension soon dissipates when he’s staring, almost cross eyed, at a chocolate bar held up in front of his eyes. That’s when Ludwig’s expression turns to serious confusion.

“What is this for?” He asks as he stares at it, only to have Alfred shake it impatiently in front of Ludwig’s face.

“It’s a chocolate bar. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen one,” Alfred gets out in disbelief.

Ludwig frowns. “Of course I have seen one,” he retorts as he takes the still waving chocolate bar from Alfred’s hands. “What I don’t understand is why you’re presenting me with one.”

Alfred smiles. “Cause I figured you liked chocolate. I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t.”

Ludwig was staring at the chocolate in his hand and it was almost hard to believe that it had been a little over five years since he’d had chocolate. It could have very well been longer than that.

“I can’t accept this.” Ludwig finally gets out after a small silence had fallen between them.

Alfred’s smile slips a bit and now he was just looking at Ludwig face filled with confusion. “The kids around here accept them. I figured you would too….not that you’re a kid or anything. Wayyyy too buff for that, but it’s nice to get a treat here and there, you know.”

Ludwig looked surprised and for two different reasons. The first one had been that he hadn’t expected to get anything from any of his occupiers, and the second had been that he didn’t think Alfred had been a part of that plan...but maybe he should have known?

“Der Schokoladenflieger….you are also one?” It was more of a rhetorical question then one that needed answering. Ludwig knew that Alfred was a part of it- the offered chocolate, that smile that Alfred always wore, and the fact that the deed alone made for happy children. Even without knowing Alfred that well Ludwig could tell it screamed of the American.

“I don’t know what that means but if you mean the Candy Bomber then that’s me! Well, Hal and I. It was his idea but I really liked it especially if it means making kids happy.” Alfred explains as he smooths out the front of his jacket before slipping his hands into his pockets.

Ludwig takes note of that action and he also lets those words properly sink in before he’s pocketing the chocolate bar. “Why do you pretend to care?” There was a tone in Ludwig’s voice that was clearly self-deprecating, a tone that didn’t believe Alfred was doing this because he genuinely cared. It was a tone that conveyed his suspicion of the action...that had Ludwig wanting to believe that Alfred was doing it because it made him look good. That the American was in fact self-interested and was only trying to boost his image because why else would he be helping a nation that he viewed as a monster?

However, another part of Ludwig didn’t entirely believe these thoughts either. He hadn’t known Alfred that long but long enough to know that the man wasn’t as irritating as he had first assumed. A part of him had been annoyed any time Gilbert brought up Alfred….brought up the time that he’d gone over to train a younger America, how adept the young man had been to learning, how much he looked forward to seeing the future the boy brought. Ludwig knew that Gilbert had considered Alfred like a younger brother and...at the time Ludwig hadn’t been sure why it had bothered him so much.

Ludwig realises a little too late that the question is quite telling. Of course, it would be stupid of him to assume Alfred had been blind to his suffering, even if the American didn’t know him very well. However, this really outlined the way Ludwig was still feeling, especially with the tone that had slipped into his voice.

There is a huge part of Ludwig that wants to avert his gaze, but he knew that wouldn’t do anything- especially when he could feel those deep blue eyes boring into him. Ludwig feels this silence stretch on further because it’s unlike any of the silences he’d forced Alfred to suffer.

“Do you honestly believe that?” Alfred asks, tone soft and...Ludwig swears he can hear pity. He doesn’t see the sadness in Alfred’s eyes, or the way his lips curve downwards. The American looked like a kicked puppy.

It was more a question targeting Ludwig’s inner thoughts. It was something that Alfred had managed to read between the lines of his question.

This realisation has Ludwig stiffening as he fists his hands. “I...yes. I do.”

There was no running away from what he had started. Well, not entirely, and not at that very moment. Ludwig does catch Alfred’s sigh; it was hard not to when the man was standing right in front of him.

"Ludwig, do you know the amount of energy it would take to pretend to care? Seriously? I thought everyone saw me as lazy." There’s almost a smile on Alfred’s lips but Ludwig doesn’t look at him long enough to see if there was any other shift in his expression."Just because you want to punish yourself, and you want to wallow doesn't mean I have to feed into that."

Ludwig’s lips thin and eventually he moves to pick his toolbox back up. “I need to go. There’s an actual plane needing my assistance,” he gets out, voice strained.

He does manage to get past Alfred but the American is still quick. Alfred reaches out and catches Ludwig’s wrist, causing him to pause in his retreat.

"Ludwig….please.” Alfred implores as his grip tightens, and he hopes that Ludwig will stay. Alfred doesn’t wait for Ludwig to make up his mind before he speaks up again. “Look, I originally wanted to help you because Gilbert... and because Kiku. I watch him too and he worries over you. But now... now that I've seen the kind of man you are, I want to get to know you too."

That was more than Ludwig could handle and he tugs his wrist free, not even looking back as he escapes.

He didn’t want to hear about how Alfred wanted to get to know him. He didn’t want to hear about Gilbert or Kiku...the thought of the two of them pained him. He didn’t want to think that Alfred saw something worth saving in him and he definitely didn’t want to think of how Alfred could fill that hole of loneliness that he carried around with him every day.

In Ludwig’s eyes, his own suffering hadn’t ended yet and shouldn’t end yet either.

----

It had been difficult to bounce back from that encounter. Ludwig had made a huge effort in avoiding Alfred and insisting that they send another mechanic to deal with the American’s plane. It seemed that luck was on Ludwig’s side because right after that exchange Alfred had left for Japan. A part of Ludwig regretted not asking Alfred to send something to Kiku on his behalf. Kiku was a nation that Ludwig had bonded with on many levels, and if circumstances had been better he was certain they could have been very good friends.

This time apart, especially with the fact that neither Francis or Arthur were much interested in being pilots, meant that he would have time on his own. It also meant that he didn’t have to be as present on the runway and could dedicate time to fixing up the hangar he had taken up residence in. It was already getting very cold and he didn’t want to think about the way the temperatures would drop from mid December through to February.

By the time Alfred returns it was early morning on the 24th.There weren’t as many people at the airport as usual but it was still busy with all the planes still flying in. Ludwig had nowhere else to go….the airport was his current residence in Berlin. He had managed to equip the utility room with an old gas heater he had found in a far corner of the airport. It had required a lot of repairs but Ludwig had managed rather well with the tools he had been given by the American army. After that, it was just a matter of finding a proper way of ventilating the room once it was working.

Ludwig didn’t really have to worry too much about it though- gas was not cheap, so Ludwig ran it only when he absolutely required it. Tonight would be one of those exceptions, especially since he didn’t want to spend the 24th cold and miserable when he would be spending yet another Christmas….alone.

Ludwig was tidying the room when he heard a knock at his door. There had been three loud, solid knocks and Ludwig easily assumed that it was some soldier coming to fetch him because of an urgent repair. He carefully folds the cloth he had been using to dust the few pieces of furniture he had fashioned from wood he’d found around the hangar, and tucks it in his cleaning drawer. Two short strides to the other side and he’s at the door, pulling it open.

The moment he catches sight of the man standing in his doorway however, Ludwig freezes. This was not what he had expected at all….Alfred was standing in front of him with far too many Christmas decorations in his arms- most notably the medium sized Christmas tree hugged to Alfred’s right side.

From where Ludwig was standing, Alfred looked incredibly confused. As if the American wasn’t sure what he had expected when he went to look for Ludwig. “You live here?” He asks, the confusion even more apparent now that Ludwig can hear it in Alfred’s voice.

Ludwig can’t help but look embarrassed, but he does manage a curt and tight lipped nod.

“Oh no. No, no, no….this is way too depressing for Christmas.” Alfred mostly murmurs to himself as he heaves the bag of decorations he held in his other arm to a more comfortable position.

Ludwig’s brows pull together. “Who said I would be celebrating Christmas?”

There is a shift in Alfred’s facial features. Ludwig swears he sees what he interprets as pity before Alfred looks more defiant than anything. “We’re going to be celebrating Christmas and we’re going to do it at my hotel room.”

It’s at this point that Ludwig’s brow arches up and he almost snorts at the idea. “I will stay here and you will go to your hotel. There is no we.” He says plainly.

Ludwig really should have known better than to think Alfred would agree to leaving him alone. He’s not sure he can count how many times Alfred has ignored Ludwig’s requests to do the what the German had wanted. The denial only earns Ludwig a laugh from Alfred...it was like the American was not fazed by anything he said or did. Perhaps it was true what they said about Alfred….he was as dense as a lamppost.

It’s clear Alfred doesn’t see the irritated look on Ludwig’s features, because he laughs a couple more times before he’s looking Ludwig straight in the eye. “Oh I love that attitude. I forgot how stern your face is. Let's get going, buddy. We both know I'm not leaving here without you, so we can skip the fighting bit.”

It was probably childish of Ludwig to do this, but he does attempt to close the door on the American- only to have Alfred shove his foot in the way. The door doesn’t even come close to shutting and if Alfred had been human...Ludwig would feel bad for his foot. It was a good thing that Alfred wasn’t, because getting a door to his foot must have felt painless especially with the large grin that appeared on the American’s face….an irritating grin, as usual.

“My hotel room! Come on~” Alfred repeats, and Ludwig’s not sure if it became more annoying because of that type of grin Alfred was directing his way, or if it was more annoying from the start.

Ludwig’s gaze falls on the door and he does toy with the idea of trying to close it, but he also has better manners than that...sometimes. “You won’t give up will you?”

“Nope!” Alfred somehow manages to wedge his hip between the door in case Ludwig does think about closing it a second time. “Get your jacket and lets go!”

Ludwig can tell that Alfred is trying to get a look into his ‘room’. It wasn’t messy by any means and it had changed over the many months that Ludwig had been using it as his living quarters. The furniture he’d handmade made it look quaint, and if Ludwig could read Alfred’s mind he would realise that Alfred thought it suited Ludwig. It suited him in a strange way, mostly because it was clearly a room with very strong foundations if it had survived the war in a considerably better shape than the hangar.

Looking into Alfred’s face, Ludwig decides to bite the bullet as he moves to grab the one jacket he had salvaged from a pile of abandoned and old clothes. He slips it on and takes one last look into his room before he’s stepping out and closing it behind him.

Ludwig was positive that Alfred couldn’t have looked giddier. He takes the bag of decorations from the American as he heaves it into his arms, allowing Alfred to lead the way. There really was no point in arguing with him; Alfred was much more stubborn and obnoxious than Ludwig. If it came to a battle of wills, Alfred would have won without batting an eyelid. Ludwig was getting better at knowing when to admit defeat.

The ride to the hotel was a painless one, or at least seemingly painless. Ludwig did have to listen to Alfred chatter on about miscellaneous topics, because he had decided to remain mute. It didn’t seem to affect Alfred though, he was acting as if everything was normal. This was something that Ludwig had noticed Alfred did often...pretend that things were normal when they really weren’t.

His expression tightens when he sees the hotel Alfred was staying at...it was a building that had begun construction in 1907. Ludwig had been positive it had been destroyed during the war, but it looks as if it had recently been reconstructed. Now more than ever it pained Ludwig to see it standing so brightly when the rest of Berlin was still in ruins.

In fact, the trip off of Tempelhof had been a horrible idea for his mood. At one point, Ludwig had averted his gaze from the window and had actually focused on listening to Alfred. He had felt choked. There had been a reason why he hadn’t set foot off of Tempelhof after arriving.

Ludwig kept his gaze on the ground when the car Alfred had hired stopped at the doors of the Hotel Esplanade. This felt absolutely wrong, coming here. Being here with Alfred. The American didn’t seem to notice Ludwig’s mood take a downward spiral, but that probably had a lot to do with the fact that Ludwig had looked disgruntled from the moment he had laid eyes on Alfred at his door.

Alfred ushers him through the lobby and then up the stairs to the second floor. Ludwig keeps behind Alfred, he’s not sure if it’s out of habit now, or if he truly believed it was his rightful place. Either way, he doesn’t notice when Alfred ceases his trek forward and he’s standing there staring at Ludwig with such intensity.

It’s a good thing that Ludwig looks up because he keeps from running into Alfred. However, he’s also getting the full force of Alfred’s gaze on him and even more so when the American takes the bag of decorations Ludwig had voluntarily carried for him. “Stay out here.” Alfred starts. “I...I need to fix up some things and then I promise I’ll come out and let you in, alright?”

Ludwig can’t help but frown but eventually he lets out a soft sigh and nods. “I have no where else to go.”

Alfred squares Ludwig with a small smile and then an apologetic glance before he disappears behind his hotel room door.

Another sigh escapes pass Ludwig’s lips as he crosses his arms and moves to lean back against the wall right beside Alfred’s hotel room door. He can hear the man inside moving around...and at one point he swears he can hear Alfred yelp. However, Ludwig is more preoccupied with the fact that he was standing awkwardly in this hotel hallway. Perhaps, ten...fifteen years ago Ludwig wouldn’t look so out of place but now, it was very hard.

Being stuck in his own mind has Ludwig missing the moment Alfred opens the door of his hotel room. Honestly, Ludwig’s not sure if Alfred had paused to watch Ludwig or if he had immediately called out to him but it’s Alfred’s voice that pulls him back to reality.

“Hey, Ludwig! You can come in now!” Alfred grins, eyes sparkling.

Ludwig can’t help but feel suspicious but he keeps that to himself as he pushes off the wall and steps into the hotel room. Ludwig doesn’t even make it past the door to the bathroom as his eyes fall on all the effort Alfred had put in decorating the room. The furniture of the room had been re-arranged so that the Christmas tree, despite its medium size, stood tall in the corner of the room. Right beside the tree was a large window overlooking Potsdamer Platz...it wasn’t a very beautiful sight at the moment but if Berlin ever recuperated from all of this...it would be a sight to behold.

Alfred had somehow fashioned a system to keep up two large hand knit Christmas stockings bulging with assorted mysteries, one with Ludwig’s name written in gold. Then, his gaze falls back on the tree and the box he had briefly noticed. Ludwig swears he can feel a lump form in his throat and his eyes prickle. He manages to swallow it but it’s difficult, it’s difficult to remain composed when Ludwig can already see the amount of effort put into this Christmas plan.

He had thought he would be spending it alone. Ludwig hadn’t even bothered thinking about anything festive but then this cursed American had to waltz up to his room...and he had to ruin everything he had meticulously planned.

Ludwig’s not sure if he’s not shaking but he had taken note of the fact that the box under the tree had his name written on a small sloppily cut and childishly decorated card. The silence must have been too much because Alfred has moved up and was patting his back. “I knew you would like a Christmas surprise!” He exclaims.

The action hardly eases the stiffness in Ludwig’s posture but it was probably easy for Alfred to tell that Ludwig was deeply affected by his effort. “I... I don’t understand you Americans…” It almost comes out choked but Ludwig swallows that down too so his voice comes out as steady as he can get it.

Alfred gives Ludwig several more pats on the back before saying. “Isn’t that the damndest thing? I don’t understand Americans either!!” Followed by Alfred’s usually obnoxious laugh, but for some reason at that moment...Ludwig actually found it endearing.

He doesn’t look at the American, instead Ludwig steps further into the room as he sheds his coat, only to fold it neatly to place on the side.

It was clear that Ludwig would never fully understand Alfred. The man seemed to work in very mysterious ways but this...this was more than he could have ever dreamed of at this moment. When Alfred isn’t looking, Ludwig does rub his arm over his eyes before taking a deep breath to try and calm himself.

Alfred does seem to give Ludwig space and he only steps closer so he can push a nice warm mug of Eierpunsch into his hand. Ludwig doesn’t even have the mind to refuse it as he takes it and cradles it in both his large hands.

“A toast to a great Christmas?” Alfred offers as he lifts his mug.

It’s only then that Ludwig turns to meet Alfred’s gaze. He’s swallowing back both his surprise and disbelief as he raises his mug and clinks it carefully with Alfred’s.

The American’s grin grows and he has the audacity to wink at Ludwig. “And! If you’re good, I’ll let you open your present up earlier than later.”

Usually, Ludwig would have protested to being given a gift or would have even flat out refused it but at that moment, he was overwhelmed with a desire he didn’t even know he could still have. He was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss Alfred. But Alfred, unaware of Ludwig's urges, simply tugs at his hand and leads him to the table, set with a mini Christmas dinner in little plastic takeaway boxes. Mutely, Ludwig follows behind him to enjoy the meal, but he knows that desire to kiss Alfred would linger in his thoughts long after that Christmas.

#hetalia #historicalhetaliacollective #APH America #APH Germany #ludwig beilschmidt #alfred f jones #gerame #germerica #germany x america #historical #APH

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