#lithdraug

[wantonlywindswept]

Good Dad Paz pt 4

one | two | three

wherein good dad paz has some bad dad trauma to work through, and dumb dad din tries to play devil’s advocate against himself

hoping the backstory comes through in a way that makes sense? feel free to lmk if not.

adding ‘vod’ (sibling, comrade) to the untranslated mando’a list b/c i needed ‘brother’ for other things. may or may not go back to change previous versions

---

Of the many issues Paz knew Din had, he'd never expected self-worth to be one of them.

In retrospect, he probably should have.

"My original task was to bring Grogu to his people," Din said, after sitting back by the fire and recounting his journeys since the massacre on Nevarro. They'd never had a chance to talk about it on Glavis; Paz had been too bitter to try. "I knew that I couldn't keep him. It was...easier, to remain unattached."

Paz looked down at the child. Grogu was leaning against apparently-not-his-father's thigh, cooing contentedly, little hands still wrapped around the now empty cup. Din's hand rested atop his head in a seemingly unconscious gesture, thumb absently smoothing down one ridiculously long ear.

Paz was pretty sure Din became attached to that kid within less than an hour of meeting him.

"You are no longer unattached," he pointed out, "And the Jedi are no longer his people. We are."

Din inhaled a sharp breath, stilling. 

Had he truly not considered that?

Paz studied him for a few more moments, taking in his protective posture, his hunched shoulders. The way he occasionally looked down at Grogu like he still wasn't sure why the kid was there; like he thought that at any moment, the child might change his mind and leave.

Ah. 

This, Paz understood.

"You think you would make a bad father," he concluded.

Din tensed, but didn't reply. Paz tilted his head in understanding.

After all, he knew the feeling.

Paz leaned back against the wall, tapping his fingers idly against one of his cuisses. A slow beat, calming: one of the old remembrance songs turned into a simple rhythm.

"We," he said, "Are not kind men."

Din did not object. Paz didn't expect him to.

"You have hunted bounties with no thought given to if they deserve it. I have killed beings whose only crime was wandering too near the covert. We chose to follow a Creed that put our people over all else. This is the Way."

"This is the Way," Din murmured. The words sounded flat on his tongue, hesitant, as if wondering if he had the right to speak them.

"We chose to be Mandalorian. And every day, Ragnar continues to choose to be my child. Every day, I am humbled by his choice. No matter what I think of myself or who I may be, he is the one who decided that I am a father worthy of him."

"Grogu is too young to choose," Din said flatly. 

Paz snorted. 

"To swear the Creed, maybe. But if he could choose between staying with the Jedi or being with you, he can choose to become your son. It sounds like he already has."

"He doesn't have to be," Din argued. "We are all raised together; he could be part of the covert without tying himself to me. I don't need to be his father."

Din had a very punchable face. Paz forgot that, sometimes. But he'd already taken off his gloves, and he wasn't in the mood to break his knuckles against that empty beskar skull.

The two of them tended to solve most of their disagreements with their fists: they were, after all, Mandalorian, and shouting matches were harder with broken ribs. It had been that way since they were children, squabbling over who got the last slice of uj'alayi, or who did better in training. The fights got longer and more bitter as they got older, but there was always a sense of catharsis afterward, no matter who won.

It was, frankly, better than the alternative.

Paz studied his vod, his friend, and remembered a shellshocked young face beneath a mop of brown curls. He remembered a quiet boy learning the Way and never once questioning his place in the covert--even when perhaps he should have.

"I never thought," Paz said slowly, deliberately, "That you would be so cruel to deny a child a Clan, as you were."

He'd heard Din make less agonized sounds from being stabbed. 

"No," Din choked out. His grip tightened on Grogu, enough to make the little one squeak in concern. "No, that's not what-- I would never--"

"You treat him as your own," Paz continued ruthlessly. "You have fought and bled for him, cared for him when no one else did. You broke the Creed to put his safety above all else. Are those not the actions of a parent?"

"But--"

Paz stood, frustration and real fury caught behind his teeth as he glared down at his stupid, ignorant almost-brother.

Din always knew best how to make him angry.

"He left safety with the Jedi and crossed the galaxy to return to you, and you would sit here and deny him a place at your side?" he demanded. "Would you have him also follow after you on his knees, hoping for a family that he will never be granted?"

"Paz--"

Paz wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't stand by and watch as another child was crushed by disappointment, strung along with promises of belonging to a Clan: pushing themselves to their limits to prove their worthiness, only to fail, because there was never the possibility of winning in the first place. Because love couldn't--shouldn't--be earned, and family wasn't something that should be used as a reward.

He wouldn't allow it. Not now, not when he actually had the ability to prevent it, now that he wasn't a fucking coward--

"Maybe," Paz snarled, "You really should have been a Vizsla."

Din's fist collided with his face. 

He hadn't removed his gloves.

Copper blossomed across Paz's tongue as his head snapped to the side. He immediately retaliated, kicking Din savagely in the gut just below his beskar. Din stumbled back with a gasping wheeze, and while Paz didn't delude himself about his normal chances against him--Din won their bouts seventy percent of the time--he, unlike apparently Din himself, was aware that one of them was still injured.

Grogu scurried over to Din, who was doubled over in pain. The child fixed Paz with what was unmistakably a glare, one tiny green hand resting on the top of Din's boot.

The accusatory expression on such a young face chased the rage from Paz's throat. He sighed, shoulders slumping, fists loosening into open hands.

He really did prefer fights where they could just hit each other. Those always hurt less.

"Din," he said, "That kid is already your son. So what kind of father are you going to be?"

[fellowshipofthefics]

Chapters: 7/8 Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Fíli & Thorin Oakenshield, Fíli & Kíli (Tolkien), Bilbo Baggins & Fíli, Dís & Fíli (Tolkien), Dís & Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Dís & Dwalin & Fíli & Kíli & Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin & Fíli (Tolkien) Characters: Thorin III Stonehelm, Thranduil (mentioned), Beorn (mentioned), Aragorn (mentioned) Additional Tags: Fíli becomes king of Erebor, Fíli Whump, Fíli Has Issues (Tolkien), Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Fíli Needs a Hug (Tolkien), Panic Attacks, Good Parent Dís (Tolkien), Good Friend Dwalin (Tolkien), Fíli & Kíli Live (Tolkien), Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Post-Lord of the Rings, Post-War of the Ring, Sleep Deprivation, everyone survived botfa - but well Thorin dies bc he's old, and the prompt demanded it, References to Depression, Author Is Sleep Deprived, I sacrificed my sanity and my sleep for this but I'm still not satisfied, thauc23 Summary:

THAUC-prompt: Fili takes over as king ************************ Summary: Thorin Oakenshield II. Oakenshield, Reclaimer and King of Erebor dies at high age three years after the destruction of the One Ring. Of course, his heir Fíli has been prepared for this his entire life, thus securing succession. However, burdened with grief, self-doubt and insecurities about his suitability as the new king of Erebor, Fíli suddenly finds himself at the verge of breaking apart. As his mental wellbeing is progressively worsening, it's up to Fíli's family and friends to help him realise that he's good the way he is and that there is always something that makes life worth living for. ____________________ Still marked as uncompleted because I will still add some notes with a bit of background-information. But the story itself is finished, don't worry :)

[scyllas-revenge]

Renewal (TRSB 2024 - art #22)

My second art submission for TRSB 2024! The accompanying fic is being written by the wonderful @lithdraug and will be available to read soon in the TRSB 2024 collection on Ao3.

I'm really excited to read it and will reblog with a link when the fic is live in early September!

This is my first time participating as an artist for TRSB, and it's been so fun! I will definitely be coming back next year @tolkienrsb you've been warned XD

[amloveabledeathmo]

Comment Game

I would like to start a game where if you are a writer you post your favorite comment you've ever gotten (If you can decide on one) and if you are a reader what's your go to comment that you love to leave.

I think my favorite comment, after much deliberation is this one, "I had to put my phone down twice while I read this chapter, just so I could properly laugh hard enough. Great chapter!" It's just so positive.

For me I love to comment 'Thank you for sharing' (usually plus a little more that is specific to the fic but I'm just so happy people share their stories).

Tagging: @legoyass, @lithdraug, @brethilach, @messandahalf10, @mithrilhearts

Please feel free to play it even if you haven't been tagged.

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Would any of my mutuals or followers be willing to show any cool collections or hobbies they have? Photos, videos, lists, anything you love and want to share. Pets, knives, rocks, knitting projects, art or writing wips, amazing outfits, etc. Or instead you could say some cool facts about you, or something you’ve always wanted to share. PLEASE info dump me. I love essays of what people are passionate about, literally anything. This is a post for you to brag on. Show what you’ve bought or commissioned, or show the most expensive thing you own. I would just like to learn more about the people on here and what makes you human :)

Tagging: @eaveplzzz @spydrrr @deliriousdingo @mo-the-vagabond @i-have-zero-social-skills @wesley-in-space @archievictrola @atrociousmagpie @n30nwrites @vaxxy-the-raven @theylovewinnie @lithdraug @thechronicsloth @themurderofcrowscollective @spacemanxpaninis @fanby-fckry @thedomesticanthropologist @kililvr @streetlight-haver @chickada @echolepzy and anyone else who wishes to join! This is also not obligatory, I don’t want to force people to do something they aren’t comfortable with!

[tondw0o]

Heyy :)

No ask here, I just wanted to tell you that I think your art is pretty amazing! I love the simplicity of it, being a bit comic stylish and something else I can't really pinpoint (I like art and drawing but am nowhere near being familiar with specific art terms and art styles).

But I like it and I'm certainly a fan of the expressions you draw on your painted character's faces! 😍 They're just soo, well, exrpessionate, I don't know how to say this in other words ... like you portray their emotions so well with their facial expressions that they come to life!

So yeah, just a short appreciation from my side :)

I hope you had a nice day 😊

~ Lithdraug 🐺

Hiii!!!

Thank you so much IAM FLATTERED!!

Yeah same I don't know the right art terms most of the time ;)

I had a nice day, thank you hope you had a nice day as well 😁

ToNDW0o

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Last TV show(The Vampire Diaries): I think the protagonist is Stefan, so I don’t think I have a job(also haven’t finished the show so idk)

Last movie(The Notebook): I work in a lumber yard and then become a soldier?

Tagging: @eaveplzzz @atrociousmagpie @fanby-fckry @ravenquingvax @n30nwrites @echolepzy @kililvr @spacemanxpaninis @lithdraug @themurderofcrowscollective @streetlight-haver + anyone else!

[wantonlywindswept]

Good Dad Paz pt 3

one | two

whew, this one fought me a bit at the end there. definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the fact i haven’t slept yet tho

considering adding ‘vod’ to the list of untranslatable Mando’a, it has a level of camaraderie/brothers-in-arms feel that just brother/sister doesn’t really convey well enough. maybe in the edit, if i ever edit

---

Paz didn't like seeing Din wounded.

It was unnatural, their covert's best Hunter laying so silent and still. Din was quiet, but he was also a man of action: he never seemed to stay in one place long enough to rest, for good or for ill. He was always in motion, coming and going on his bounties, talking quietly with the foundlings, helping out around the covert. 

But Din had barely stirred when Paz pulled him out of the weird creature's cage, limp and insensate from whatever he'd been injected with. Paz did his best to make him comfortable, using his ratty old cloak as a pillow and placing him gently near the fire, but there wasn't much he could do other than wait. 

Wait, and stand guard, as he always had.

"He'll be fine, little one," Paz rumbled, sitting with his back to the wall in view of the entrance, Din laying next to him. The foundling cooed unhappily and tucked his head against his father's neck; as soon as Paz had placed him there, Din had curled around the child, protective even in sleep.

"Patoo."

"I've seen him get through worse than this," Paz replied mildly, "And I'm guessing you have, too."

"...leh."

"That's what I thought."

Most of Paz's supplies were topside with his ship, but he did keep emergency rations on him at all times - even if the emergencies tended to just be 'a foundling is hungry'. He set aside one of the ration bars for Din; for the child, he mixed some of his canteen water and a packet of nutrient paste together in the cup from his field kit, setting it near the edge of the fire to warm. 

He didn't actually know what the kid ate - or even what species he was - but going with something hard to choke on was generally a safe bet with babies.

Din started waking up by the time the broth was finished; Paz tested the temperature with an un-gloved finger before handing it to the little one. He reached over to place his hand flat on Din's chest at the sound of a muffled groan.

"Easy," he said. "You're safe."

"Wha-- Paz?"

"Your child is also safe," he added, as if said foundling wasn't slurping noisily right next to Din's head. 

"Grogu..?"

Aha, finally, a name for the kid. It sounded familiar, so Din had probably said it at some point before, but Din said lots of things that Paz tended to ignore.

Din tilted his helmet toward him.

"Paz?"

Paz frowned.

"Do you have a concussion?"

"...no?"

Reassuring.

Din struggled against the hand on his chest, and Paz reluctantly helped him sit up. He dropped the canteen and a ration bar in Din's lap and shuffled around so they were back-to-back, Din propped against him in a heavy weight that Paz didn't mind bearing. 

"Drink something. And eat, if you can stomach it. You need to replace whatever that thing took out of you."

Mostly blood, from what Paz could tell, but he admittedly didn't look too closely.

Din grunted in assent; Paz heard the cap of his canteen unscrew, and the soft hiss of a helmet seal disengaging. He kept his gaze straight ahead, idly scanning the room. 

"Found your kid topside," he said. "He led me down here to you. Smart little thing."

"He is," Din agreed softly. His voice sounded even worse without the vocoder modulating it, rough and tired and strained: vulnerable, in a way that their armor was designed to conceal. 

Paz stood guard while Din ate, a hand on the assault cannon at his side, his body blocking the view from the entryway. But the sewers stayed calm, just the crackling of the fire and the child's happy coos interrupting the companionable quiet. He waited until he heard Din pull his helmet back on, and the soft sizzle of a wrapper being disposed of in the fire.

Then he waited some more.

"Paz," Din said, eventually, "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your sorry ass, obviously."

Din snorted, uncontrolled and undignified, and thunked his helmet ungently against the back of Paz's. 

"Paz."

Paz sighed, tapping his fingers one-two-three against the barrels of his cannon. 

"The foulding you saved," he said. "The one who was swearing the Creed."

Din hummed in inquiry.

"He is mine."

"Oh," Din breathed. "Oh, Paz, that's wonderful. Congratulations."

Paz grinned widely beneath his helmet, ducking his head a little. The fierce pride he felt whenever he looked at Ragnar, when he remembered that he'd been gifted with a child of his own to cherish - it still surprised him, sometimes, the depth of the emotion. He'd always loved the foundlings in their covert, would have happily died to protect them - but something about having Ragnar as his son made him want to live. 

"I came in second, as usual," he groused good-naturedly. "You'd already gone and found yourself a child first."

"Ah, that's...not quite correct."

Paz blinked. 

"What?"

"I mean I haven't, yet," Din said. "He's not mine, not really. I haven't sworn the words to him."

Paz blinked again.

Then he twisted around to stare incredulously at his utter idiot of a brother.

"You what?"

[pt 4]

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Nine People I Wish To Know Better

I was tagged by @spacemanxpaninis! Thank you, I just wanted to make a shorter post cause the original was getting long

LAST SONG?

Tightrope by Michelle Williams from The Greatest Showmen

FAVORITE COLOR?

Blue, but also the primary colors

CURRENTLY WATCHING?

Teen Wolf, The Vampire Diaries, and Barnwood Builders

LAST MOVIE?

Hoodwinked(Y’all the memories oh my GODS)

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY?

Sweet and Savory. Love me some sweet fruits and savory breads

RELATIONSHIP STATUS?

Single and slight BDSM dynamic

CURRENT OBSESSIONS?

My college’s dining hall

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED?

Pack Hierarchies

Tagging: @eaveplzzz @firebeingsandstarpeople @echolepzy @fanby-fckry @ravenquingvax @atrociousmagpie @theoneandonlypatches @thedomesticanthropologist @lithdraug

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

I’m the god of bloodshed

Fuck yeah

@eaveplzzz @spacemanxpaninis @echolepzy @fanby-fckry @kililvr @firebeingsandstarpeople @lithdraug @ravenquingvax @atrociousmagpie + anyone else!

here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Awww same! I love seeing you show up on my dash :)

Friendos! @eaveplzzz @spacemanxpaninis @ravenquingvax @fanby-fckry @atrociousmagpie @theoneandonlypatches @lithdraug @n30nwrites @streetlight-haver + basically every mutual I have :)

do y'all also have mutuals whom you’re actually a fan of? like everytime u see them on your dash u just,,,,, “u go mutual that’s my mutual!!!!! i love u mutual!!!! i can’t even believe we’re mutuals i don’t deserve u!!!! keep being u mutual!!!”

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Thanks for tagging me @theylovewinnie! Wanted to shorten this a little

Last Song: Beautiful Things by Benson Boone

Favorite Color: The Primary Colors

Currently Watching: The Vampire Diaries, Season 1

Spicy/Savory/Sweet: Sweet and Savory

Relationship Status: Single irl, but my Tumblr fiancé is @eaveplzzz

Current Obsession: Teen Wolf even though I’ve never seen it

I’ve got so many people I want to know better: @eaveplzzz @i-have-zero-social-skills @echolepzy @spydrrr @deliriousdingo @mo-the-vagabond @wesley-in-space @archievictrola @atrociousmagpie @n30nwrites @ravenquing @lithdraug @thechronicsloth @themurderofcrowscollective @spacemanxpaninis @fanby-fckry @kililvr @streetlight-haver @chickada @thedomesticanthropologist @causticfraust

Nine people i'd like to get to know better:

Tagged by: @bell-of-indecision, thank you so much for tagging me <3

Last Song: Gmfu by Odetari,6arelyhuman

Favourite colour: Dark red, violet, pink

Currently watching: Death note, ep6

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: Spicy

Relationship status: Single

Current Obsession: Mbti types and cognitive functions.

Tagging: @somin-yin @a-cloud-for-dreams @axepen @hinsaa-paramo-dharma @basic-bitch-alkali @rhysaka @blackknight-100 @squishywizardd @reykalot

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Thanks for the tag! @theylovewinnie You’re Yellow and Goldenrod :)

@eaveplzzz - Goldenrod, Mahogany, Red, Pink, Violet, Green ;)

@atrociousmagpie - Orange and Mahogany

@fanby-fckry - Orange, Navy, and Jade

@spacemanxpaninis - Goldenrod, Mahogany, Ruby, and Green

@mo-the-vagabond - Yellow, Pink, and Green

@ravenquing - Goldenrod, Mahogany, Green, and Jade

@n30nwrites - Orange, Ruby, and Green

@kililvr - Orange, Navy, and Jade

@echolepzy - Goldenrod, Mahogany, Navy, and Green

@spydrrr - Goldenrod, Navy, and Green

@orange-jules-box - Orange and Navy

@lithdraug - Yellow and Goldenrod

@themurderofcrowscollective - Goldenrod and Navy

@streetlight-haver - Goldenrod, Mahogany, Pink, Green, and Jade

@chickada - Goldenrod, Ruby, Pink, Green, and Jade

@i-have-zero-social-skills - Orange, Ruby, Navy, and Green

@causticfraust - Yellow and Green

@deliriousdingo - Yellow, Orange, and Navy

@archievictrola - Yellow, Orange, and Navy

@thechronicsloth - Goldenrod and Navy

@thedomesticanthropologist - Yellow, Goldenrod, Ruby, Green, and Jade

The Colors of the Moots ask game

Lemon - idk but like you seem really sour and scary Yellow - every time i see you on my dash you're always so happy and it's so lovely! Cyber - when the frick are you offline? like tell me when, i need to know for your sanity!!! do you even have it??? Goldenrod - i really wanna sit next to you and watch a sunset/sunrise. or maybe just look at you. Orange - if you were a fruit you'd be a orange. no explanation. Rust - you seem like you're hanging on by a thread. Mahogany - let's go on a late night drive together and listen to one of your playlists. Red - i am so in love with you. first it was ironic, now it's unironic. so in love. Ruby - you are such a gem, you deserve so much better <3 Pink - biting you biting you biting you biting you licking you biting you biting you Violet - honestly i just wanna kiss you just to shut you up. yeah. Blue - you are the sad mood. the crying moot, even. i am offering a tissue in this trying time. and maybe a hug. only if you want ofc Navy - i have a feeling you hate jeans. Lime - i can't tell if you're serious or what but i am avidly waiting your next post. Green - wanna go touch grass with me? Jade - honestly you have some of the best takes on this hellsite.

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

:D You’re Azure, Orchid, and Lilac!

All my mutuals are Seafoam by default

@mo-the-vagabond - Lilac and Tangerine

@atrociousmagpie - Azure and Basil

@n30nwrites - Azure and Orchid

@ravenquing - Lilac and Tangerine

@spacemanxpaninis - Basil and Tangerine

@eaveplzzz - Basil and Orchid

@fanby-fckry - Azure(headcannons) and Tangerine

@streetlight-haver - Lilac and Orchid

@theylovewinnie - Azure and Viridian

@lithdraug - Lilac and Tangerine

Anyone I didn’t tag is Lilac and Seafoam! I’m very protective of my friends and I would go feral for you all + I’m dragging you all to my birthday party where I’m going to kick all your asses at Just Dance

which mutual am i? ask game

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

My gender is not a gender but I am a person

Yeah 🥹

Tagging really quickly so sorry if I missed you: @mo-the-vagabond @wesley-in-space @n30nwrites @vaxxy-the-raven @theylovewinnie @lithdraug @eaveplzzz @spacemanxpaninis @fanby-fckry @streetlight-haver @chickada @archievictrola

Type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence, then tag your moots to keep the chain going, I'll go first.

My gender is a little bit more intense than I thought I could have done

@mirukosbitchywife @get-junpeid