#literally. Literally a week later he starts posting pics with this completely new and different girl

[fandom-puff]

Alfie Solomons on Social Media

Big thank you to @cheekypeakyblinders @peak-a-blinder and @champagneholland !! So much love and support with this lil social media themed project we’re doing! Go read their writing (linked at the bottom!) also can I just say I’m super proud of the moodboards I made for these :)

Alfie is NOT tech savvy. He’s not a complete technophobe, but he’s definitely not down with the latest trends, he doesn’t have a clue what half the pre-installed apps on his phone are for and he’s only just figured out that you can have a contacts list and that you don’t need to manually type in a whole phone number if it’s already saved on his phone.

He often forgets how to turn off caps lock, so his texts can often be misinterpreted as very angry or very excited

He also uses LOTS of abbreviations- like the normal ones (lol, wtf, ffs, cba) but then he also makes his own up which just confused everybody

Example:

It’s okay though bc the younger ones actually teach him stuff (*cough* unlike tommy abd arthur who just take the piss)

‘No right Finn mate I don’t want to fuckin download Tik tok I’ve got a fuckin watch and a little clock on the screen fucks sake’

Alfie’s in a fair few group chats- there’s the main GC that has the Shelby/gray clan (he’s there for banter and because Polly is an admin and she knows it pisses tommy off

Every morning without fail at like... 5-6 o’clock, he’ll send a bright and cheerful good morning text that’s normally not very well received. But he does it anyway bc him and Pol are the only ones awake :)

Alfie on snapchat is a different story. Literally every day there’s a picture of Cyril with a caption like ‘love of my life’ ‘best mate’ ‘don’t know what I’d do without you’

He also posts all his baked goodies onto his story too, and the random women who add him via quick add end up swooning over his floury tattooed arms bc he has a dog and he can COOK

He hasn’t got a CLUE what a private story is so every day, at least 100+ people are subjected to ‘tommy fucking Shelby has a stick up his arse pass it on’ which gets screenshotted and sent to the group chat

He doesn’t get the whole ‘streaks’ thing either

‘No I don’t wanna fucking streak with you isaiah what the fuck??? I thought your dad was a man of god and all that???’

Cue three days later on his story: “there’s fires next to some of your names right and if you die yeah, blame isaiah because he asked me to streak with him and I don’t think Jeremiah likesd that tbh and probs prayed to god to smite yous down lol’

‘Alfie it just means we’ve snapped eachother for three consecutive days mate’

His story that day: ‘sorry you’re not getting smited you lot just like sending me pictures of your ceilings ??’

Snapchat filters took him by surprise too but imagine this man’s JOY when he found out Cyril could wear funny glasses AND have a round face 🥺🥺🥺

Let’s talk YouTube. Despite not knowing how to turn caps lock off, and thinking Finn is having a stroke every time he throws it back, Alfie is quite the vlogger.

What’s starts off as mostly baking videos and rants (he likes to get things off his chest while kneading the SHIT out of some dough) quickly turns into a full on THING

He makes all sorts of videos- at least one weekly vlog with Cyril and him going on an adventure

Honestly those ones are basically asmr bc Alfie will be recording cyril with one hand and petting him and scratching behind his ears with the other and just murmuring ‘what’ve you got there mate? A rock? Tha’s fuckin brilliant that is my mate. My good boy aren’t you? Yeah... good lad... you gonna put the rock down or... no we’re fuckin... taking the fuckin rock home with us... whatever you say mate...’

Like it’s not much of a vlog like ‘hey guys it’s Alfie aka the Wandering Jew and today me and my pal are going to the park’ it’s more of a ‘watch this great big bear of a man talk very gently to a great big dog for fifteen minutes’ type of vlog

He also does the baking vids obvs, but in more of a tutorial format rather than bitching about his mate ‘Timmy’ as he develops the gluten with his sleeves rolled upto his elbows.

‘Well Jamie Oliver will tell you to do it like this’

*like 10 seconds of silence as he stares at the camera*

‘FUCK Jamie Oliver the stupid twat THIS is the right way to do it

There are normally some VERY thirsty comments about his arms.

He does a reaction video to the thirsty comments once

John read them out to him and his audience was DELIGHTED by his blush as he muttered ‘that right, is fuckin inappropriate innit? Fucking filth like that when I’m trying to teach you how to bake my nan’s bread? Terrible.’

Alfie’s new found YouTube success brings some unwanted attention too...

He doesn’t really know what to do about it so he just leaves it...

A week later, however...

Finally, lets talk messaging his significant other

Admittedly his long winded, meandering rants don’t really translate very well into text, so he much prefers to FaceTime or simply ring you

His texts are sweet though

He tries, bless him

If you don’t live together, you get a good morning and a goodnight text every night, regardless of any business.

You quickly learn to mute your phone as soon as you wake up bc he is an early bird lol

You hear the rants he doesn’t put on his story 🥺🥺

He doesn’t really use emojis but he uses them a LOT more when he texts you- mainly the heart ones

Likes your instagram posts literally as soon as they’re posted and always comments on them

‘You’re fucking beautiful you. I love you’

He does it on your snapchat story as well, sensing you your picture with a cute (or flirty) comment

SMUTTY TALK BELOW

You love texting him little flirty messages??? Just subtle ones with a cheeky double entendre.

Maybe you’re thinking about him. Maybe the sausages you had with breakfast really were juicy who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Either way it gets him GOING

You use snapchat to your biggest advantage, sending him cheeky little peeks at your body, but never quite ENOUGH

He clicks off the image really quickly so you normally get a ‘Alfie💖 has replayed your snap’ notification

‘Fuck me love’

‘Later. In a meeting gtg xx’

He doesn’t really take dirty pics himself. He does, however, tell you to grab your headphones ;)

Thank you for reading! Below are the other works in this collab! Make sure to check them out 💖💖

John Shelby by @cheekypeakyblinders

Michael Gray by @champagneholland

Finn Shelby by @cheekypeakyblinders

Tommy Shelby by @peak-a-blinder

Grace burgess by @champagneholland

Arthur Shelby by @peak-a-blinder

Tag list: @the-makingsofgreatness @peakyswritings @haphazardhufflepuff @diksy1112 @zodiyack @soleil-dor @hiddensapphic @fckingpeakyblinders @snugleo @alittlebirds @satanxklaus @glamsaturn @thegirlwithoutaname87 @queenofmankind @awkwardretro @captivatedbycillianmurphy @xshinytrashcanx @hanster1998 @cheekypeakyblinders @champagneholland

[iamnightduchess]

HELLO QUEEN! Oh my gosh your latest updates have gotten me so hyped up and happy!! I love the feeling of seeing your post updates on my dashboard. I was wondering if you had time if you could possibly do some NSFW head cannons for It’s Gotta Be You universe?? I reread it again for the 100th time after reading your AYA update but I love that universe so much!

Hello dearie! I hope you've been doing well ever since. I apologize for the slight delay as RL is demanding a lot of my time. But, I hope you'll enjoy this! ❤

Reiner x Mikasa (ReiKasa) (R20+) Fic AU Headcanon #13

Universe: It's Gotta Be You (Modern AU)

(A/N: ‼️WARNING‼️Graphic/Explicit Description of very dirty smut with potentially provocative images ⛔ Please don't click Keep Reading if you're below 20 🙅‍♀️ Sorry kiddos! To my dear adult readers, please absorb this post's content with appropriate discretion & maturity)

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I've shared more of ReiKasa's detailed Modern AU sexcapades in this post and for this Ask, I'll explore the different preferences involved in their sex life. Based on this post, Reiner & Mikasa had a 10-dates rule before they actually become intimate with each other and that post describes briefly on their phenomenal sexual compatibility. Before they reach that 10th date goal, they decided to keep all their interactions chaste, which only adds up to the building sexual tension between them. These two has a spark that ignites from just a single touch. Therefore, it had been a truly challenging period for them to keep their magnetic pull in check.

When they were in high school, they've only ever held hands but has never even kissed. Reiner was raised to be a respectful gentleman and he's always letting Mikasa takes the lead. He waited until she was ready to get a little bit more physical with him, thus why he suggested the 10-DR. So when did they have their first real kiss?

On their 10th date.

First Time

Their first time with each other had been a literal afternoon delight. Mikasa missed out on their 10th date night because of an on-call emergency at the med centre, so they made up with a lunch date the next day. Sure, they've been clawing at each other's clothes from outside the car to his front door and had never even made it to his bedroom but they really made full use of his coffee table and his couch. If only those furnitures could talk, they would tell you very interesting stories that took place on that day.

Bedroom Jams

Reiner and Mikasa do not have a particular preferred soundtrack running in the background while they're getting down and dirty. But, they'd always have Linger by Cranberries or The Root's You Got Me to set them in the mood for some slow-dancing before revving up their engines for their inevitable sexy times.

One time, Reiner had jokingly put Boyz II Men's I'll Make Love To You on in the bedroom. Mikasa changed it immediately to The Devil in I by Slipknot. It felt like an out of body experience the whole time.

Reiner likes to do this little striptease dance to 90's boyband songs just to drive Mikasa up the wall 🤣 One time, he wanted to surprise Mikasa from work & started grinding against her booty with his sexy moves as soon as she crossed their living room, completely not realizing that his mother had also walked through the door as his wife had picked Karina up for dinner at their house. He got an earful from his own mother 😳

Sexting & Surprises

Reiner loves sending sexy text messages to Mikasa when she's at work or when he's away in Marley for work meetings. The nature of her work demands her to be on-call or be at work in longer shifts, therefore, his texts make her misses him even more. Mikasa would not admit it out loud but his naughty texts do get her in the mood to make a lot of love to him when she gets home 😏 Before someone asks, no, Reiner does not send his wife dick pics haha

Reiner is also the type who'd surprises her from a long night shift in the morning by making her breakfast in the kitchen with nothing but an apron on. Yeah, Mikasa had a good eyeful (and mouthful) of his buns alright *wink* Reiner would also surprise her with a hug from behind when she's doing meal preps in the kitchen BUT Mikasa would be the one slipping her hand in his pants while he's doing the dishes. These two really do love getting kinky in the kitchen.

Gabi accidentally walked in on them one time and poor girl was mentally scarred, she locked herself in her room the whole night.

Favorite Positions

Despite having athletic bodies and fit figures, Reiner and Mikasa do not experiment with odd, bizarre positions as much. Their favorite position is either tantric or golden arch as they love locking gazes while whispering their undying affection for each other (+more dirty-talking from Reiner!)

But when they're in the mood for a more rough loving, all fours in front of a mirror or standing/sitting wheelbarrow would be their favorite positions for them considering his superb upper body strength and her amazing flexibility (Reiner has those weekly yoga routines of hers to thank for!)

Dirty-talking

Reiner likes to do this a lot (even in public) that it'll always make Mikasa goes multiple shades of red. His dirty-talkings are adorable and dorky but although Reiner's very alert when reading the room, he also tends to forget in switching off his dirty-talking mode once he's in the mood.

One time, he was calling Mikasa when he's away for work training. She was driving and had him on speaker. He was feeling a bit frisky and told her flat out - he can't wait to come back home, get inside the showers with her and ram into her so hard that she can't walk straight that his Dr. Ackerman-Braun need to take sick leave for 2 days. Things went still and quiet from Mikasa until he heard Annie's voice from the other end.

Annie : Ram her with what, Reiner? Your 3-inch dick?

Reiner: Screw you, Annie.

Annie: Gross and hey, Armin's already doing a bang up job in screwing me. Besides, you don't need to worry about Mikasa missing you. I just bought her this brand new vibrator.

Reiner: Totally ignoring you, Annie. Mika, c'mon babe, you know the real deal's so much better.

Mikasa: Rein--

Reiner: I made you come three times before I leave. You don't need that thing right? Can you hold on until I get back, baby, please?

Mikasa: Rein, can we talk a bit later?

Reiner: It's just Annie there right?

Pieck: Hey, Reiner. I think you just terrorized Gabi.

Reiner: F**K

Turns out Pieck and an already traumatized Gabi were also in the car with Mikasa at that time. Reiner avoided showing his face in front of the two women and his own cousin for the next 2 months.

As mentioned, that wasn't the first time Gabi had such TMI of her cousin and his wife's sex life. Apart from walking in on Reiner and Mikasa in the kitchen, the couple had terrified her enough for life when she also walked into them doing the deed inside their own living room (They either forgot Gabi was staying the night or had thought she was asleep) Gabi never wanted to be near that couch ever again.

Public Sexcapade

They had a quickie in Grisha's basement during one family dinner with the Jeagers. Zeke almost walked in on them.

Reiner also owns a pickup truck. He likes to take Mikasa out for a night drive. He'll have the back boot of his truck all nice with warm covers and they'll park somewhere private uphill to stargaze. They'll make love underneath the stars in the open air and just hold each other afterwards. Mikasa loves to listen to Reiner as he tells her about his favorite constellations.

Body Appreciation

When Mikasa's body starts to grow when she's carrying their twins, Reiner develops a much higher level of appreciation towards her body because of the changes she's going through. Obviously he appreciates the tremendous increase of her cup size, but he notices every other parts of her that swells beautifully with every week of her pregnancy too. As shared in this pregnancy post, Mikasa had the upper side of her hormonal changes that Reiner was the one who's constantly be worrying that he'll poke the babies in their heads every time she gets in her special mood 😂 see, he's so adorkable!

Sneaky playtime(s)

Reiner & Mikasa would always have a burning fire in their marriage even as they grow older. The twins were not spared from the traumatizing knowledge of their parents' extracurricular activities, when they overheard their parents from outside their bedroom door one Sunday morning.

Miraé: Rémy, are Mama & Papa fighting? She said the F word to Papa. Oh, Papa said he's coming? To where?

Rémy: Jesus, Miraé. They're having sex.

Miraé: What's that?

Rémy: Aunt Gabi told me to stay away if we ever hear weird noises coming from Mama & Papa's bedroom because it means they're having their adult playtime.

Miraé: Let's just go next door and ask Uncle Armin & Aunt Annie about it.

Armin was speechless and red with embarassment while Annie cackled at the poor twins. Afterwards, Annie sent a photo of the twins in their family group chat with the caption "Please come pick up your kids at our house after you're done maintaining Mikasa's plumbing 🍆💧💧" 🤣

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Gosh, I really, really enjoyed working on this. Thanks again for the Ask, Anonie 🙈💕💋

[ghostbustermelanieking]

oddly specific memories i have of listening to tma

in honor of the finale, and because i am a sentimental asshole, i bring you this potentially uninteresting and completely pointless list. i'm gonna miss this show a lot

half my original reasoning for listening to the podcast was to motivate me to walk on the treadmill. this did not work. but i did it the first time, when i was going through the trailers and anglerfish, and i remember the room where my dad keeps the treadmill is really dark and the spooky chanting sort of freaked me out

after the treadmill, i ended up listening to the bulk of the first four episodes on the couch, and halfway through i let my oldest cat, winnie, who always lived outside (i know, i was very against actually keeping her outside) in the house. and she jumped up on the couch with me, which she literally never did. (she was very grumpy and not super affectionate.) i had that cat since i was five, and she passed last june, and i really miss her. quarantine kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with her a lot, because we were home so much. so i'm glad these memories are kind of intersected in my mind. (below: a pic i have from that day.)

my friend sarah relistened along with me the first time around, which was extraordinarily sweet of her, and also led to some interesting interactions. for example: she forgot when it was revealed that sasha was dead, so she accidentally spoiled that for me when i asked when the others would find sasha (and i spent all of season 2 just like. anxiously vibrating over this fact). she also made this post, when i was still in like early first half of season 1, and my immediate thought was "oh no martin is dead." i hadnt even MET martin at this point

back in early quarantine, my mom had this rule that we had to do something new every day (to keep away the depression... ha ha). anyways, all i wanted to do in my free time was sit around and listen to tma (and also watch this show i was into on netflix), so i came up with some lame excuses, one of which was "i'll give myself a pedicure." this led to the memory i ultimately associate with mag 56 (trevor herbert 2) being me sitting out on our roof balcony thing, giving myself a horrendous pedicure

another time, my family wanted to go play tennis, and they brought me along and brought a hammock for me to lay in. there was this excess material from the hammock, and the sun was in my eyes, so i ended up pulling it up and over me to block the sun and creating this ridiculous hammock cocoon thing. one of the episodes i listened to that day? "tucked in."

before i ever started the show, my friend sarah stayed with me while i was pet sitting. i remember when she got there, she'd just listened to 150 and was telling me how freaky it was (she was still trying to get me into the show), and she was like "of course we're staying on a CUL DE SAC." (that was also the weekend she watched us for the first time and was very upset because i slept through the whole thing, which is scary when you're staying somewhere by yourselves.) anyways, i spent the whole show waiting for the scary cul de sac episode

while i was listening to the show for the first time, my step-dad (an artist) started painting an EYE on the door downstairs near my bathroom. a fucking EYE. he didn't finish it til i had finished the show. but still weird!!

i binged like 12 episodes in one day to finish season 4, which is not impressive at all, but it's still my personal record. i just remember staying up late in my dark bedroom (til like.... 11 i'm lame and i go to bed early), listening to like 158 & 159 & 160 and just being knocked on my ass by how good it all was... i was SUPER spoiled by this point, through my own fault, and i knew exactly what was coming, but actually experiencing it was nuts

the second week i listened live was 167, where the public release was delayed by a couple hours by accident. i spent like 20 minutes refreshing spotify, thinking it was broken, before going on tumblr and seeing what the deal was. (and 167 remains one of my favorites of s5 because i remember just going "thank god it was worth the wait.")

this one car ride where sarah and i made some of our friends listen to the first three episodes of the show. it was the middle of the night and we were just like blasting down i40 listening to anglerfish and do not open etc

the night the what the ghost episode publicly dropped was the night after my graduation, and i was sleeping out on the couch in the living room so my grandfather could sleep in a bed. it was super dark, and i am a jumpy person, and i Remember being mildly disgusted with myself because the corny sound effects were actually freaking me out. (i think i mightve actually seen something weird that night, maybe, but that's another story.)

the weekend my parents moved me into college, we couldn't get the cable in the house we were staying in, and we were all sitting around doing nothing, so i jokingly suggested starting tma with them, and they were like ok grace. my step-dad promptly fell asleep and my mom zoned out -- which is probably good, she doesn't like horror and she's super claustrophobic, so it's probably better we never got to do not open

my brief roommate in college talked about how she was into those youtube channels where people just read scary stories, so of course i was like try tma out. so she listened to the first episode on her own, and we were out one night, and she started mag 02 while i went into an ice cream place. she was into it (she kept being like open it, ya pussy) and wanted to keep listening while we went home, and even back in our room. i had only been in town for a couple weeks, and barely knew my way around, but i also didn't want to turn the gps on and be interrupted every five seconds. so i tried to find our way back on my own. it took the entirety of mag 03, and into mag 04, before i did it. so now i will forever associate across the street with all those wrong turns i took in a dark, semi unfamiliar city, trying to get back to our college without a gps

the day of the early drop for 179 was the day i moved back home from college -- a five hour drive by myself. i ended up listening to it on the final stretch of the trip, when i was super tired and it was dark and i knew it'd probably be a crazy episode. just me full blasting down i40, drinking an energy drink (which i never do) through a hole punched in the top, listening to daisy's death

186 early dropped the day after initial u.s. election day (when we still didn't know anything). my mom had set up a "watch party" in the living room with these giant air mattresses, and we all sort of spent the day crowded around the TV watching the numbers. not much of a memory, but i remember sitting on that air mattress and listening to martin's monologue in the midst of that messy week

i had a virtual therapy appointment on the day of 187's early drop, and my dad was home, so i drove to an empty parking lot to do the session in some privacy. i was trying to listen to the episode before the session started, so i ended up listening to the last half sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, just staring at my radio in shock (187 remains one of my favorite s5 episodes)

my friend sarah had just come home for winter break the day 189 dropped, and we decided to listen together, just like driving around in circles drinking coffee and listening and speculating on whether or not that was really martin

i started my relisten right after thanksgiving and was just kind of blowing through fast as i could through the whole of december. i had to go back to college to empty out my dorm, and i went to the beach after, and i ended up listening to mag 11 while just like walking around in circles in the tide pools. the closer it got to christmas, the more christmassy i wanted to keep things, so i would like. listen in the mornings and turn on one of those Netflix fireplaces and get all cozy

my other friend went with me on a mini bagel road trip in december, and he was still trying to get caught up, so we listened to mag 169, 170, and 171 on the drive home. (by this point, i was accustomed enough to s5 and smiting scenes to automatically reach for the volume controls when jude perry and jared hopworth died.)

when i relistened to mag 47, i was sitting with my cat beezus. i paused the episode to write this big long meta, so i was in a different headspace when i pressed play again. jon immediately yelled for sasha and i immediately jumped, and beezus gave me a searing glare and just got up and left

i relistened to piecemeal while i was cooking, which i thought was kind of funny and also disgusting

after christmas, i got into the habit of bringing my cat georgia into my room in the mornings, and she'd crawl under the covers with me while i listened to tma

one story i've always liked to tell from my first listen is how when i first listened to the meat arm grinder episode, my dad asked me to help him cook hamburgers later that day and explained how hamburgers are ground up (to my disgust). i hit meat grinder in my relisten and um. you'll never fucking guess what i made for lunch that day

so i had all these arbitrary rules for myself when i started tma last april, and i've broken like all of them. i started listening to tma while virtually working -- you just pull it up on your computer and it works. (i got the life scared out of me when one of my coworkers started talking over the podcast, wondering who it was that had walked into jon's office and why he wasn't reacting and why i didn't remember it.) i also started listening a lot while driving, which led to several long meta posts i wrote being typed up in a parking lot somewhere

i spent the entirety of 194 anxious-cuddling georgia. (i tried to do this for 198 and then didn't have any anxiety to cuddle her over.) i fully plan on doing this for 200, where i am sure i will need it again

my favorite place to listen to tma probably ended up being the roof room at my mom's, and unless something goes awry, this is where i will listen to the finale. (with georgia, of course.)

this list is super uninteresting, like i said, but here it is. i'm gonna miss this show a lot. i can't wait to return to it, later in life, and make all new listening memories in the process

[revengerevisited]

i found this vanqua fic the other day, it’s only a couple chapters but i like it so far. :3 it does have a ‘creator chose not to add warnings��� label though, so please be cautious. also baby-xemnas aka kotbysleep (nsfw) aka nekokat42 (also nsfw) is a much better vanqua artist than me so please check him out. X’D (heads-up those twitter threads are way longer than you think so make sure you see eeeverything~).

anyway, more wip art below the cut, plus my endless rambling (i talk about 18+ topics, just a warning)—

i’m still working on venqua week and i’ve got 2 more prompts to go, one i haven’t started yet and one i’m halfway done with—

~aaand yeah i’m re-using it for a vanqua pic too... X’D am i lazy, or just resourceful? you decide. ;P

but yeah, both of these pics will have an 18+ version as well. i admit i’m super anxious about posting it next week, as i’ve seen just how absolutely toxic fandom is on twitter. like, you thought tumblr was bad? i’ve spent the last few days preemptively blocking literally hundreds if not thousands of antis just so i can feel a little safer posting my content without some asshat calling me a pedo or telling me to kill myself over cartoons. XU i somewhat worry that i’ve accidentally blocked some people who were just joking around and weren’t actually harassing anyone, but it’s just so hard to tell sometimes. if i’ve accidentally blocked anybody here, just let me know so i can unblock you. :3 (idk why that sentence came out so sinister sounding but i’m legit being sincere X’D).

but seriously, idk when fandom suddenly got such a stick up its ass (around 2016-17 from my guesstimate) and decided aging-up a fictional character by a year or two is such a crime, but i guess that’s just the state of things. :T i could draw vanitas as a centaur or make him blond or whatever and no one cares, but aging him by one year? suddenly big problem! yeah, right. XP like, i know i said every character in kh is 17+ as of khmom (ignoring any weird timeline retcons of course), but heck i could make an honest case for the wayfinder family all being adults. hear me out—

it’s been 13 years since bbs, right? and for 12 of those years, aqua was in the realm of darkness, terra had some awareness while being possessed by xehanort, ven experienced some of sora’s life when he was in a coma, and vanitas was almost certainly in ven/sora’s heart as well, so all four of them could be said to be 31, 33, and 29 respectively. it’s not like their character models were any different when they were young teens as opposed to older teens, so can we really be sure they’re not all 30~ by now? heck, since ven is from the age of fairytales i could say he’s 1000 years old if i wanted too! (psst, it’s almost as if these are all fictional characters living in a fantasy world with time travel and whatnot and their ages are completely arbitrary numbers nomura made up on the spot, numbers which he has retconned before! :P).

now i don’t actually think they’re that old, but if people are gonna hassle me over a goddamn 2-year age difference, i might as well say fuck it and have fun with it, right? ;P it’s not like antis even know what the canon character ages even actually are, like when they try to say that skuld is underage when (assuming she’s subject x) she’d be around 28~ by now, or axel and saïx’s age. (maybe i’ll draw some saïx x skuld art and watch the antis lose their minds. ;P it wouldn’t even have to be nsfw to rile them up).

anyway, i do admit i’m feeling a little burned out on art recently. XP i’ve been trying to get one art piece out per week plus venqua week, and yeah it’s kinda taken its toll. i know this really isn’t anything anyone wants to hear, but i’ve been kinda thinking of moving away from fandom projects to work on my own original work. now, i’m not saying i’m abandoning a heart and a half nor anything as drastic as that! but i have spent like 2 years of my life on it just to get to the halfway mark, and i’m not sure i can spend 2 more doing only that.

i’ve got an original story idea that i’ve been working on-and-off on for the past 7 years or so, and i’m thinking of going back to it again (it does need a pretty big re-write). its main pairing is actually pretty vanqua-ish, now that i think about it. like, imagine the realm of darkness but instead of the heartless it’s infested with demons, and the main characters are the demon-slaying duo of a serious yet kindhearted half-angel and a feral, snarky half-demon. i even aged them up from 14 to 18 so none of my potential fans have to suffer the same anti bullshit that i have. XP

what else can i ramble about... oh, i got these super cute pins for christmas! :D the heartless is by xkirakira, and vanitas and aqua are by maxxmerch. they’re just so cute! X3 i hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy holiday! i’ll see you guys later. ^3^ 

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*looks around sheepishly* ó3ò alright... confession time. spoilers for a heart and a half for the rest of this post—

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.

sooo~ i’ve kinda hinted at this before, but yeah i’ve always planned on adding a sex scene to a heart and a half; when i started writing back in 2018 i hadn’t realized how hostile fandom had become compared to only a few years ago, and it worries me that some readers might drop the fic because of it, or be angry with me over the underage aspect. :(

idk, i could go on about how i just wanted to explore every aspect of a romantic relationship, or how other disney/square enix characters married or had kids young (ariel, sarah hawkins, héctor, claudia strife, possibly jasmine), or how attempting to apply real-world rules to a videogame fantasy setting is inherently silly and pointless, but really it’s just ‘cause i love vanitas and aqua to bits and i just wanted to write a cute and funny mild sex scene between them (this fic is rated mature, not explicit, so much less graphic than confection affection), and at the end of the day they are just fictional characters, after all.

i guess all i can hope for is that i’m a skilled enough writer to pull it off in a believable way, and that my audience won’t be too put off by it. >_> i know vanitas and aqua have technically only known each other for about 2 months so it might not be ‘realistic’ for them to go so far into a relationship so soon, but i think it’s important to remember that ultimately this is a romantic fairytale, and other canon disney couples haven’t seen nearly as deeply into each other’s hearts as vanitas and aqua have (and this video also helped me feel better about it).

i also wanted to finish that nsfw venqua fic i started a few months back, it’s set just before the mark of mastery so yes ven would be 16. i suppose it’s a way of testing the waters to see what kind of reception i’d get (hopefully positive) before i get to that part of a heart and a half. i was also thinking of including some of the uh, ‘keyblades as erogenous zones’ aspect from this terraquaven fic as well... w-why are you looking at me like that?! it’s funny! *sweats nervously* o3o’

in all honesty, i’m probably just overthinking all this (which, knowing me, is almost a guarantee >_<) and i should just *ahem* let my heart be my guiding key, and just write what i want to write without worrying about it all the time. i just get so anxious so easily... buuut that’s not really news to anyone, now is it? ;P well, i think that’s the end of my endless ramble, thanks for reading if you got this far. X’D and i really hope i didn’t actually upset anybody about a heart and a half. ;_; i just felt like i needed to vent a little, but don’t worry about me, i’m doing fine. anyway, i really should stop typing and get back to work on venqua week, sooo... bye! X3

[darlinvandijk]

Jealousy

Concept: A request about being best friends with Ruel, but there being more than just platonic feelings, along with a nice touch of jealousy from our favorite soft giant (also whoever stole the acne jumper, you’re a prick), dm me and whatnot for a request and I’ll be happy to make it for you! Also this is really long, sorry about that but I just really loved the idea of it all and couldn’t stop writing. Hope you enjoy :)

“What’re the plans for today?” Ruel asks as soon as I jump into his car and he heads to the mall, since I told him I needed to buy a new outfit for today, and wanted him to accompany me.

“We’ll talk when we get to the mall, I wanna listen to the new song you promised to show me” I whine grabbing onto his arm while he looks over at me and laughs. He rolls his eyes as he grabs his phone and hits play on an untitled track. I grip his hand the whole time the track plays, before grabbing his phone to replay it.

“I take it you like the song?” He asks with a chuckle as I literally whip my head around to face him. Is this boy crazy? Of course I love the song.

“Are you kidding me? As long as you made it, I’m gonna love it. Actually scratch that, as long as you feature on anything, I’m automatically going to love it” I yell at him incredulously, he should know by now that I’m his #1 supporter, and that’ll never change.

“I was just messing with you, I already know how you’re a diehard crazy obsessive fan, I even saw you smelling my hoodie the other day” he says with a straight face, turning to watch me as he finally parks at the mall. I stare at him for a moment before finally realizing what he said and smacking him on the back of the head.

“Does this look like face to face bitch? You’re actually the one obsessed with me so get it right” I sassily reply, before hopping out of the car and making my way to the entrance. I hear footsteps behind me, before his arm is then slung over my shoulder, pulling me into his side.

“You’re right, I am obsessed with you bubs, but you already knew that.” He mumbles pressing a kiss to the side of my head, causing my face to heat up. I immediately drag him into the store I want to go to, so that he doesn’t see the blush spreading across my face. We’re friends, nothing more than that. Or at least to him that’s what we are.

I start trying on clothes once I get a decent pile, listening to rule sitting outside the stall on a bench, cursing at the angry birds level he can’t beat. I look myself up and down in the mirror, deciding that this was probably the best outfit I was going to find. It’s a kind of caramel colored plaid two-piece skirt and top set, something I’ve been trying to get for awhile.

“So what do we think? Is she cute? Is she bad bitch material? Or is she ugly and needs to be banished from the pile?” I say as soon as I step out of the stall. Ruel stays quiet as he looks me over and examines the outfit. I start to fidget nervously as he still remains silent.

“What do you need the outfit for? You still haven’t told me.” he states while looking me straight in the eyes.

“Luke is coming to visit and wanted to hangout tonight, probably just gonna eat at that one diner where I can take insta pics” I tell him before urging him to tell me if the outfit is good.

“We always eat at that diner together, that’s our spot.” Ruel deadpans. I stare at him blankly, wondering what his deal is. Like I’ve taken so many girl friends there before and he’s literally never cared.

“Ruel we’re just eating there so I can take some pics for my feed, especially since your fans keep telling me to post again” I say laughing to try and lighten the mood. His facial expression doesn’t even shift as he stares blankly at me.

“Okay but I also always take your insta pictures, I can take these ones too. He probably won’t even be able to take good pictures.” Ruel snaps back. I stare at him incredulously since he’s getting hyped up over nothing for no apparent reason when he was just fine minutes ago.

“He’s taking one set of pictures for me, literally coco takes pics of me all the time and I post them, yet you never cared then?” I question him trying to see what his actual problem is. He scoffs and turns his head away from me. I then walk so I’m standing right in front of him, grabbing his face to turn it back towards me.

“I just don’t get why you have to take him to our spot, buy a new outfit for him, and let him take pictures of you.” He moodily responds, moving out of my way and standing up to stand near the exit of the dressing rooms. I stare at him with a hurt look, because he’s never had this attitude towards me before.

“Look the outfit is great and you look pretty, can we go now?” He states before I can even reply to his previous statement, walking back into the main area of the store. I go back into the dressing room and put on my regular clothes before putting the set back onto the hanger.

I walk back into the store and see Ruel standing there, watching me as I walk back to the area I got the set from and hang it back up, getting ready to leave the store. As I walk to the exit, I hear him sigh and walk the opposite way. I watch him grab the set, before exchanging the skirt for a different size. He then walks to the cashier where he proceeds to pay for the set.

“Ruel what are you doing? I didn’t buy it for a reason, you wasted your money.” I snap at him, tired of the attitude he’s giving me, when all I wanted to do was hangout with my best friend.

“You looked good in it, so I bought it. The skirt was a little too big, so I know that this size will fit you better. You also want it for you insta posts, so I got it so you could wear it tonight.” He mumbles before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the shoe store.

I watch him as he walks over to one of the clerks and tells him a couple things, before the clerk heads into the back, coming back out moments later with a shoe box. Ruel opens the box and nods his head before handing it back and asking him to ring it up for him. I jog over to him before he can pay for them, wondering what the hell he’s impulsively buying this time.

“Nothing important, so don’t worry about it. Wanna go start the car for me while I pay?” He asks while tossing me the keys. I stare at him for a moment before leaving the store and heading to the car. As I sit in the car, I think about how weird he’s acting. He’s literally throwing a fit over nothing and then thinks buying me my outfit is going to solve everything.

“Uhm here. These are for you, because none of your shoes will go with the outfit, and these will. You can’t have a complete outfit without shoes to match.” He mutters putting the box on my lap, before pulling out of the mall parking lot. I open the box to see a pair of plain white nike air forces, turning to stare at him because he shouldn’t be spending all this money on me.

“Ruel you didn’t have to do that. You literally have spent over a $100 on me today, that’s too much, you also probably don’t even know my size so they might not fit.” I state while trying to put the shoes in the backseat, so he can return them later.

“You’re my best friend, I’ll do anything to make you happy, and I know having this outfit for the pics and future occasions will make you happy. I also know all your sizes by heart so they’re gonna fit.” He says while pulling into my driveway. He gets out of the car and heads into my house before I can even reply to him.

I go inside and change, putting on the outfit he got me, before turning around to face him, as he sits on my bed waiting for me to finish. I give him a little twirl, waiting for his reaction to how I look.

“You look beautiful, but you didn’t need a new outfit for that, you always look beautiful.” He mumbles looking at the floor. I walk to go and sit next to him. I slowly reach my hand out and watch as he puts his hand in mine, intertwining our finger together, and putting them on his lap.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong.. I don’t like when you’re angry with me.” I softly say looking over to him. A brief look of frustration appears on his face before turning to a look of nervousness.

“I just feel like you’re trying to replace me with him. I know you’re not, but it’s just not a good feeling. I don’t like when you rely on other people for things like that, even if they aren’t things to be considered a big deal, I just want you to rely on me and need me. I just don’t like feeling like I’m not needed.” He whispers looking away from me and at our entwined hands.

“I always need you, you know that. He’s just helping me out and hanging with me for the day, since he’s only going to be visiting for a week. I’m not replacing you, don’t think I could ever replace you even if I wanted too.” I say trying to get him to see my point of view about it all. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair roughly.

“No, you don’t get it.” He snaps moving away from me and towards my door. I jump up and grab his wrist pulling him back towards me so that he can’t leave.

“Then tell me Ruel! I can’t help you and fix this if you don’t tell me what the issue is! Like why don’t you like Luke? He hasn’t done anything wrong” I snap back, tired of the back and forth of this conversation.

“I don’t like the fact that you’re relying on another guy and trying to impress another guy, that isn’t me, okay? That’s it, I’m fucking jealous of him. I want you to want me the same way I want you. Can I fucking leave now?” He snaps before angrily walking towards me door.

“You’re an idiot oh my god” I say while laughing and sitting on my bed, watching as he whips around to face me with a pissed off look on his face.

“That’s literally what you’re going to say to me after all that? You’re just going to laugh and make me feel worse?” He hisses with a cold look on his face.

“You’re so dramatic Ruel. First of all, Luke has a girlfriend, who he’s very in love with. Second of all, there’s nothing to be jealous of. You’re my best friend and I lov-“ I say getting ready to confess my feelings before the stupid giant interrupts me.

“How do you not get it?! I’m literally trying to tell you I’m in love with you, I don’t want to be your fucking best friend anymore” He impatiently yells, while throwing his arms around in the air, signifying how frustrated he is.

“Can you shut up you tall bitch and let me explain? As I was saying, I love you and don’t want anyone else. I just never thought you had feelings for me too.” I state with a roll of my eyes before I get up and wrap my arms around his neck.

He immediately leans down and presses his lips against mine, in a soft but passionate kiss, putting all his feelings into it. He leans back and softly rests his forehead against mine before giving me a small grin.

“Are you done crying about everything now?” I sassily say while raising an eyebrow at him. He throws his head back laughing before pulling me on top of him on my bed.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about my attitude today. I just felt like I was losing you to another guy, and that’s something I never want to happen. But now that we’re on this topic of us, does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?” He questions with a smirk as I roll my eyes and nod my head yes.

He grins at my reply before flipping us over and placing kisses all over my face and neck. I lay there laughing while he continues his attack against my skin. He finally stops and just lays on top of me with his head resting against my chest, while he intertwines our hands together, with my other hand running through his hair.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you and I always will. I love you with all I’ve got, I hope you know that.” He mumbles against chest, while I softly smile at the beautiful boy laying on me.

“I know, I love you too. Just try to not jump to conclusions and freak out on me next time bubs because I might just have to tell Coco and get her to smack some sense into you” I say laughing while he rolls his eyes at me.

Let’s just say, he definitely didn’t have a problem with me hanging out with Luke today anymore. He might be the most dramatic boy I know, but you don’t choose who you fall in love with. Even if I could, I wouldn’t choose anyone else.

[anotherhystericalqueen]

As Easy As Breathing

Modern AU!Brian May x OC

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: None

Moodboard and Summary

A/N: Hey guys! I have been working on starting this new story for a while and I am so excited to finally be posting it. Please let me know what you guys think and I hope you all like it!

What do you think of this one Darlings?” Freddie spun in the store mirror, admiring his reflection as he modeled an old off-white leather jacket. 

“Fred, it’s falling apart at the seams,” Roger stared at his roommate in disbelief. “There’s no way we can sell that as it is and there’s no way you can wear that onstage without it literally falling off. Where did you even find that thing?” 

Freddie Bulsara huffed and turned around to face the two other owners of the Rag Trade, Roger Taylor and Josie Crowley, still modeling the falling apart jacket that he dubbed as ‘vintage’. “I have my ways Rog.” 

Josie perched herself up on the counter, letting her legs hang over the side. ‘Let me guess, Kash?”

Freddie shrugged off the jacket and handed it to the redhead. “It doesn’t matter how it was discovered, it just needs a little bit of Josie Crowley magic. I’ve seen you bring garments in worse shape than this one back to life, maybe we have another miracle on our hands.” 

Josie sighed and took a closer look at the jacket, running her fingers over the cream colored fake leather to assess the damage. There were some holes on the front and the arms and the zipper was falling off at the bottom, but those could be taken care of with some patchwork and embroidery. The seams were also close to falling apart in some places, but there wasn’t anything that could deem the jacket completely unsalvageable. In fact, it was the right amount of beat up that she could use it for another design she had already been planning out for Freddie.

“I don’t think we need a miracle here,” She shrugged, hopping off the counter and digging out her sketchbook from her bag. “Gimme a few days and I can give you a brand new jacket. I already have some ideas in mind.” 

Before Freddie or Roger could give either of their input on the jacket, Roger’s phone went off over the stall’s speaker and cut off the music that was playing from Roger’s YouTube app. The blonde leapt up from his place on the couch and disappeared into Josie’s workshop in the back of the stall. The other two shop owners shrugged it off and went back to comparing the design Josie had been sketching, to the jacket’s current worn out state. They started going over details that Freddie wanted when Roger popped out from the back. 

“Fred, can you come back here? It’s about the band.” He called back. Freddie got up from his place on the couch next to Josie and disappeared into the tiny backroom where Roger was. 

Josie manned the register while her roommates hid in the back to take what she guessed to be a very important phone call. It was a slow day all around in Kensington Market, so the Rag Trade didn’t get as much foot traffic as it usually did.  Josie managed to keep herself busy by getting to work with when she heard a wooden clacking noise coming from the stall’s entrance. She pulled her attention away from her work to find that she had a new customer, but instead of browsing around the racks of new and old clothes he looked like he was looking for something specific.

Josie Crowley wasn’t a girl to get easily flustered by a boy, but this guy was about to make an exception. He was tall, really tall for starters. His bright blue NASA jacket was too short for his arms, leaving his wrists exposed to the cold. Loose deep brown framed his long face and brought out the different shades of hazel in his eyes. She studied the details of his face, from how his lips were slightly parted to how the tip of his nose was a rush of pink from the cool fall air, to how his hair fell in front of his eyes. 

“Hey,” She regained her composure to greet her potential client. “How can I help you?” 

“Yea.” The stranger pulled out a light denim jacket, running his thumb on the worn out seams. “I think you may be just the girl I’m looking for.” 

Josie studied the jacket in his hands. It wasn’t in as bad shape as Freddie’s but it looked like it could use some love and care. “Ye-yeah sure, I think?” She reached out for the jacket, which the stranger handed to her. She analyzed the denim and found that it was in better condition than she first thought. “Nice jacket, a little worn but overall in good condition. What do you need done with it?” 

“Well I found it in my parent’s attic and my dad said I could take it.” As he explained how he found the jacket, Josie noticed that his cheeks were turning from a light pink to a flushed red. “It fits for the most part but the sleeves are too short. One of my friends suggested that I come to you to get them lengthened.”

Josie examined the sleeves, “Yea I can totally do that. I would have to get some measurements really quick to make sure they don’t end up too long or too short. Do you mind?” Josie gestured towards the stranger before fishing around in her bag to find her measuring tape. 

The stranger nodded and put down his bag. Josie placed the measuring tape at the top of his shoulders and took his measurements for both arms, making notes on a blank sheet in her notebook for later. 

They tried to make some small talk as she finished up the measurements. “So is there anything else you want done to the jacket besides getting the sleeves lengthened? Maybe even put some of your own customization into it instead of just being a repair?”

“Yea that would be nice.” He laughed. “What do you do for that?” 

“Mostly embroidery and patches for denim jackets, but I can do whatever you would like.” She replied, her mind already spinning with ideas. 

“Embroidery and patches sound really interesting.” The stranger smiled at her. 

“Yea! I can put on anything you want on it.” She continued making notes. 

“If you’d like, I can give you my number so if there’s anything else you want done you can just let me know?” She suggested before quickly backtracking. “Unless you think that’s too forward.”

Space boy laughed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “No of course we should swap numbers. I’d love to stay in touch.” He handed his phone over for her to add her number to his contacts. 

“I’ll text you later when I get home.” He offered. “It was really nice to meet you today….”

“Josie.” She reached out her hand. “Josie Crowley.” 

The stranger reached out and took her hand. “Brian May. It was very nice to meet you Josie.” 

“It was nice to meet you too, Brian” Josie felt heat was over her face as she watched Brian walk out of the stall, She kept running her thumbs up and down the worn seams of Brian’s 

Unknown Number: Hey, thanks for your help today! I hope this will be an easier way to keep in touch. -Bri

Josie grinned at her screen but was suddenly interrupted by both Roger and Freddie bursting out of the back room, their faces lit up with excitement. 

“Jo! You’ll never guess what just happened!” Roger called out, making the redhead jolt up and juggle her phone in her hands.

“Fucking hell Roger,” She gasped, clutching her phone to her chest. “What? You scared the daylights out of me.” 

“Oh don’t be so dramatic darling.” Freddie rolled his eyes. “We have incredible news.” 

Josie put her phone down on the counter, “What’s up?”

“We got a gig!” Roger exclaimed before Freddie could even open his mouth. 

There was a long pause between the three of them. Freddie and Roger’s band, Queen, had been doing gigs around the London pub scene for the past couple months so it wasn’t huge news anymore whenever they got a gig somewhere. So Josie stood staring at her roommates with a confused look on her face. 

“What kind of gig?” She broke the silence. “You usually don’t get this excited over one Rog.”

Freddie laughed. “Jo this isn’t any old pub show. This is a legitimate performance! We just heard that we are going to be part of a rising musicians showcase at Royal Albert Hall next month. I sent them our demo last week and they want us to perform!” Josie could tell that Freddie was really excited about this, so she had no choice but to join in on the excitement. 

“That’s awesome!” She knew how hard they have been working to take their band to a more serious level, even if she hadn’t been able to make it to one of their shows yet or have even met the other members of the band. “Have you told the other’s yet? Or did they get a call too?” 

Roger shook his head. “Not yet, we want to ask you something before we tell them.”

Josie cocked her head to the side out of confusion, she wasn’t part of the band so what would they have to ask her before talking to their bandmates? 

“We want you as our band stylist.” Freddie asked. Josie felt her eyes widen and her heart started to pound. She knew that they wouldn’t be able to pay her much or at all since they were barely making it by at Rag Trade as it is, but she knew this would be a huge next step for both them and herself if the band took off. 

“I know you hang out with us enough so if you don’t want to we get it.” Roger chirped in, pulling Josie out of her thought process, “But you’re really talented with clothes and we need to look our best for this show so-”

“I’ll do it.” Josie cut him off. “I’m in. I don’t care about money or anything like that. If you want me and the others are cool with it, I’m in.”

Both Freddie and Roger immediately lit up in excitement.

“But I do have one question though,” She added on. “How do you guys exactly expect me to style two guys I haven’t met yet? I can’t style someone that I don’t know, let alone have ever even seen.”

Freddie waived her off. “Don’t worry about that darling. I already alerted them of you joining our team as it was a given that you would say yes. They’ll be meeting with you in a few days since both of them have such busy lives.”

“You can use clothes from Rag Trade!” Roger piped up. “We got some clothes in the back we haven’t put out on the floor yet. We can set aside whatever you pick out to keep for the band.”

Josie blushed from Roger’s offer. “That is very thoughtful of you Rog. I swear that you guys get total input into whatever you wear. The last thing I want is for you to go onstage in something you aren’t comfortable wearing.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that Jo,” Roger reassured her. “We know whatever you do is going to be amazing.” 

Josie smiled at Roger’s comment. “Thanks guys, I promise I won’t let you down.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the Rag Trade closed down for the night, Josie and the guys made their way back to the small flat the three of them shared a few blocks over. They were immediately greeted by Freddie’s two cats, Miko and Delilah and Josie’s cat, Chip. Freddie and Roger hung out in the flat’s common area while Josie retreated to her room for the night. She changed out of her street clothes into a comfortable oversized t-shirt and shorts before scrubbing off her makeup for the day and climbing into her bed. 

Josie pulled out her laptop and started scrolling through Pinterest for ideas not only for Freddie and Brian’s tasks for her, but to also get some tips and inspiration for Queen’s new stagewear, primarily focusing on what she would pick for Freddie and Roger. She was meeting the other members of the band tomorrow to get their measurements and start planning their stagewear for some upcoming shows.

 She was soon distracted by Freddie’s newest kitten, Miko, jumping on top of her sketch and demanding attention. He paced around her legs and meowing insistently at the designer until she gave in and replaced the jacket in her lap with the tortoise-shell colored kitten, scratching right behind his ears. 

“You’re just like your Daddy, aren’t you?” She laughed. “You know just how to get my attention.” 

The kitten purred in content, kneading on her blanket covered legs. Watching Miko knead her lap, Josie reached for her phone and sent a photo to her roommates in the next room. 

TO: Oh My God They Were Roommates👀👀

Josie: I have been graced with Miko’s presence, If you need me I will be in my room the rest of the night with him 

Freddie: Give back my son

Josie: Never. He’s mine now

Freddie: Traitors, both of you. If you’re taking Miko then I’m taking Chip in return

Josie: Leave Chip out of this, he’s innocent!

Roggie: You two are weird

Freddie: Says the one who’s obsessed with his car

Before Josie could respond to her roommates, she saw a notification from her newest client- Brian. 

“Hey it’s Brian. Thank you so much for helping me out today on such a short notice!”

She grinned and immediately switched over to his messages, ignoring the budding argument between her roommates that was going on over text. 

Josie: Hey! You’re totally welcome. I should have your jacket all fixed up in the next week or so, feel free to swing by next week and it should be done!

Brian: Thanks! Please let me know whenever you finish it, but there’s no rush! My band just got called about a huge gig so I’ve been a bit preoccupied. 

Josie: Oooooooh you’re in a band? What do you play?

Brian: Yea, I play guitar. What about you, do you play any instruments?

Josie: That’s so cool! Unfortunately my talents are more in the design world than the musical world. I do want to learn how to play the guitar someday though

Brian: Well maybe I can teach you sometime

Josie: I would like that. Are you busy this week?

Brian: Not too busy, my band does have a gig next week so I have been held up with rehearsals whenever I’m not busy with my work. It’s nothing big, just a pub by Imperial College. What about you?

Josie: I just got a new long term project to work on so I’m still in the early stages of working on that. And I’m looking at your jacket too for what to do for embroidery or customization besides lengthening the sleeves. Do you have any interests or hobbies that could help?

Brian: Well outside of playing the guitar, I’ve actually been interested in space and astrophysics. I have been actually working part time on getting my PhD in Astrophysics. 

Josie mentally exited out of the conversation for a moment and turned back to her . She immediately went to her profile and made a new board that she named “Ideas for Brian”, noting that he really likes space and to look for space themed embroidery prints. She had a few ideas in mind now that she knew for sure that he had a strong interest in space. Josie also made a mental note to see if there was any way that she could combine both space and music into one design to make it special just for him. 

“Note: see if Bri has photos of guitar he would like used.” She muttered under her breath as she typed out the note before jumping back into the conversation with Brian. 

Josie: Oh wow that’s so cool! I had a feeling that you were into space from your jacket you wore today. And that has to be rough working and finishing a PhD AND being in a band

Brian: Yea I guess it was kinda obvious. Luckily we are on a short holiday right now so I can catch my breath and focus on my music. 

Josie: I know how that feels, my last year at uni I thought I was going to break down from burnout by the end. 

Brian: What did you study?

Josie: I double majored in apparel design and finance. 

Brian: That’s cool, how did you get into two completely different subjects like that?

Josie: It’s a long story, remind me and I’ll tell you about it sometime. I have an early shift at Rag Trade tomorrow and need to get to bed soon. 

Brian: Yea, I’m about to head to bed too. Goodnight Josie

Josie: Goodnight Brian, talk tomorrow?

Brian: I look forward to it :)

Josie shifted on her bed in a way that disturbed Miko from his nap in her lap. The kitten meowed at Josie before leaping off her bed and made his way out of her room. She noticed that the light in the common room was now out, so she guessed that Freddie and Roger were both asleep, or at least in their own rooms. She placed her phone on the nightstand right next and plugged it in to charge for the night. As she drifted off to sleep, her mind kept drifting towards the curly haired guitarist she had only met a few hours before. 

~~~~~~~~~

Josie spent the next couple days working on Brian’s jacket and focusing on what she was going to do with Freddie and Roger’s band as their new stylist. Unfortunately, she had been so busy with her roommates and her own work that she hadn’t been able to meet the rest of the band. Today, she was finally able to meet the remaining members of Queen. 

John, their bassist, was the first of the two to arrive. They were holed up in Josie’s back corner of the store that she used as her spot to meet up with clients. In the first few minutes of their meeting, Josie dubbed John as her favorite member. He was a lot more calm and subdued than Freddie and Roger, which was a relieving change. She learned he was still a student, which is why they haven’t met yet since John was busy with his classes whenever he wasn’t rehearsing or performing with Queen. Josie could barely juggle working here with being in school before she graduated, so she gave him props for going after both the band and an honors electrical engineering degree. 

She had her tape measure slung over her shoulder as she leafed through a rack of clothes she picked out for the bassist.  “What do you think of this?” She asked, holding up a black silky button down shirt. The chest was covered in small white pearl-like stars to add detail. “Freddie picked this one out, though it would look good for one of your upcoming shows.” 

John shrugged, holding the material in his hands. “I don’t know. Are you sure it isn’t too flashy for the band?”

The designer laughed. “You’re in a band with Freddie. He would go onstage in red and white booty shorts and suspenders and nothing else if he could so I wouldn’t worry about you looking too flashy.”

Her comment warranted a small laugh from John. “Yea, I don’t really put that past him. But I really do like that shirt.”

Josie smiled and put it on the rack closest to her that she had labeled “Queen Wardrobe.” She was happy that John was warming up to her and her abilities as a stylist. She had heard from Freddie that the kid would go up on stage in plain jeans and a t-shirt if the frontman would let him. Unfortunately a band that had both Freddie Bulsara and Roger Taylor would never allow such a thing so they always had the bassist borrow clothes from one of the two.  She made it her goal to find anything that would help John come out of his shell and stop having to borrow appropriate stagewear from his bandmates, but she still wanted him to be comfortable and have a say in what he wore. 

Josie and John ended up deciding on three shirts, a pair of black flare jeans, and a pair of white skinny jeans that were also suggested by Freddie. Josie’s favorite thing that they found was a pair of tan platform boots that John was immediately drawn towards when she first pulled them out. She wrapped the clothes hangers together with a rubber band and tagged them “Deaky” to keep with the nickname Freddie had given him and so she would know they were picked for John. She already did the same for Freddie and Roger and was planning to do the same for their guitarist. 

As Josie was setting up for her next client, she heard a familiar clacking enter the shop. She turned to see who it was as Freddie greeted them and she immediately froze in place. 

It was Brian.

“Brian! I am so glad you were able to make it darling.” The singer exclaimed, abandoning his post at the counter. Brian still hadn’t noticed Josie yet, even though the Rag Trade wasn’t that big of a shop she was still in the back semi-hidden behind the varying racks of clothes. 

“You told me to meet you here for the band.” He answered. “Something about us bri new stage clothes?” 

Josie watched as Freddie led him back to her station, she saw the gears turning in Brian’s head as they made their way to the back of the shop. When Brian’s eyes finally laid eyes on the new stylist, he froze in place and his eyes went wide in surprise. 

“Brian, I would like to introduce you to Queen’s official stylist, the one and only Josephine Crowley.” 

[fireproofkings]

The making of a sweater series

Part 1 || Part 2

Two things before we start: First, this is a long one and it has a few photos so buckle up if you’re reading. And second, I apologize in advance for the state of my nails in any of the pics, I know they are incredibly awful, but I promise I’ll do them tomorrow.

If you know me, you know I am the worst at keeping up with things, and if not, the fact that I have 7k drafts can give you a pretty good idea.

Last Saturday (July 11th) I went out and bought everything just as I expected, but while I was out shopping, Louis decided to attack us.

That’s one of those things you will always remember what you were doing the moment the news hit. I was buying all the supplies to make Harry’s sweater when Louis announced he was finally free.

My phone was blowing up, and when I went to check why, all of my group chats were screaming, and the lovely Ed (@literlarryreal) was sending me long voice notes telling me all the thoughts she has and let me tell you, it was a ride.

Yes, I cried in public and no, I am not ashamed to say it was not the first time I have done so with something Louis related.

Anyways, getting back on track, I spent way more than I was expecting to, but it’s alright lol. I am confident it’s all going to be worth it.

Under the cut you can find a summary on everything that happened this week with the process, and more pictures of Jack, my dog.

Here’s everything I bought that day. The quantities are exactly what is in the pattern in JW Anderson’s website (plus an extra colour I bought but then found a better match for, which I might use if I run out of any colour). I did end up finding everything, but I had to go to a few different stores to do it. There’s kind of a shortage due to the current situation and the fact that these aren’t essential goods.

I wanted to start that same Saturday, but I decided to finish that scarf I was making before, just so I wouldn’t have to go through all the trouble of changing needles and storing it away where it would probably get messed up, so I finished it and here’s a photo of it:

I ended up doing an infinity scarf, and have some yarn leftover, maybe I’ll do a hat or something like that in the future. Yes, those are my PJ’s don’t judge me.

Then I procrastinated starting the actual sweater for all of Sunday and Monday (12th and 13th). That’s something I tend to do, if you haven’t noticed.

One thing I hadn’t thought of as particularly hard, ended up being something out of my nightmares (I also tend to over exaggerate, if you’re reading this, you’re really getting to know me lol).

That green square is incredibly awful.

The pattern itself isn’t that difficult, but if you have to undo some lines it completely falls apart and you have to start over. This happened to me like three times the first time I attempted it.

Usually it takes me half an hour to 45 minutes to do one square, this one took literally two hours and a half. But it was so much easier and quicker the second time around. Putting in a lifeline and doing tallies in a notepad every time I finished a line helped a lot.

Jack did end up making it better. Even if him laying directly on top of it made it difficult to work.

On the other hand, the black and red jacquard squares were something that had me slightly worried. The technique is kinda confusing and is very easy to mess up if you are not paying attention.

The first few lines I did wrong, but then I learned how to do it properly and while the handling of the multiple strands of yarn is difficult, you get the hang of it pretty quickly.

But then, horror struck.

I realised that for some reason I was doing the squares 12cm long and not 14cm like they are supposed to be. So that panel was going to end up being 6cm shorter than the others in total, which doesn’t seem like much but was definitely going to show.

Here you can see the mess. I had to undo basically two whole squares, since the first one was 14cm (I really don’t know what was going on in my brain) and the second one, which was a jacquard pattern one, could be continued, but those two squares cost me about a whole day of work.

I was so frustrated I decided to stop for the day and take a long hot shower.

I came back to it the next day and Jack made it all better (can you sense a pattern -no pun intended- here?).

So, to wrap it up:

They are lined up in the way they go in the completed sweater. The little notes on top help me keep track of which one is each of them. The numbers in blue show the order in which they were done.

The first one was pretty easy except for the green square I talked about before, I started that one on Tuesday (14th) and finished on Wednesday (15th). That same day I started the second one which I finished early on Thursday (16th), it was really uneventful which I appreciated a lot, apart from my pointer finger hurting from pushing the needle, so I decided to invent some kind of protection with tape and silicone, which failed extremely, because it rides up and falls off.

Here you can see my failed attempt at some kind of protection for my pointer finger. I basically need a thimble, but I can’t find one online.

Maybe the uneventfulness of panel number two was to make up for the absolute nightmare that was the third panel that I had started that same day, the one I talked about being 6cm too short. It threw me off the loop for the rest of the day, which meant I only finished it late on Friday (17th) and by then I was too tired to do anything else.

Yesterday, on Saturday (18th) I started the fourth one, but I didn’t have the energy to work that much, and today, Sunday (19th), I haven’t done much more than a couple of rows.

By this point I have 3 completed back centre panels and another one 3/4 of the way done. I just have that 1/4 and the two side panels (that include shoulder shaping) left to finish the back, and then I have the front, sleeves, cuffs, collar, ribs, and button band to finish the knitting. Then it’s all ready to sew together.

Just as I did with last post, I want to close this off with some pointers for what is coming, just to keep myself on track and look back to later:

This week I want to finish the back and leave it all ready for sewing when I’m done with the rest of the knitting.

I have to write for a fic exchange I wish I had started earlier but I’m still confident on the time I have left, so that will be my priority, and not knitting.

I start classes again on August 3rd and I hope to be finished by then (with both the sweater and the fic lol), I am kinda confident I will be able to do it since I’m kind of 1/3 of the way through, so if I keep the same pace, or an even better one, I’ll be able to make it.

Something I’m not looking forward to is doing the shoulder shaping, I have no idea how to.

I have been worried the yarn I bought isn’t going to be enough (it might be just my anxiety talking), but I think it’s going to be okay since I am nearly 1/3 of the way through on the squares with one of the colours, but I haven’t gone through that amount of yarn yet.

I have made the executive decision to not do the tassels with the left over yarn and to sew the panels and ribbing together right sides together (so the seams will be on the inside) to give it a more polished look, but this might change in the future.

I’m starting to see it take shape, even if only the back, and I’m really excited!!!

If you want to see the other posts in these series go to the top where the other parts are linked or go to the tag here.

[katieamazeballs]

DWTS Live Tour Recap 2020

Whew....this day has been a doozy between lack of sleep and a weird ass day at work.  This years tour was a vastly different experience than in the past because Mother Nature is a raging beeotch.... but it was still so amazing!  Details below the break to save y’alls timelines some grief. 

We started off our day at work and school.  I had known, and bitched extensively, about the 100% rain outlook but it was pretty sunny all day.  I picked Abs up at early release and I swear to you...the second the car door shut, the sprinkles started.  Because of course it did.  We got ready and went for some lunner only to be caught in INSANE traffic.  Fun fact, Floridians can’t drive in the rain and there was a fatal accident on a major bridge that shut it down and made traffic a nightmare.  No biggie though, because it was nasty out and we knew they weren’t just going to be wandering downtown so we were in no rush.  We got downtown about 4 and we started wandering. 

(Gratuitous bus pic)

We stopped and chatted with the nicest security lady who, bless her heart, was sitting there between the buses huddled under a golf umbrella.  She said she hadn’t seen anyone in quite a while (probably because they were inside teaching the show to Keo) but that if we had been there at 7am they were all outside chillin and going to work out and such.  We did a lap then stood under the awning at the front of the arena for a bit. 

(Why is she so weird?)

During our laps we saw Keo (who was limping something fierce...like I wasn’t sure he was going to make it up the steps to the arena limp...looked like he pulled a hammy) but due to the sprinkling and the running buses he either didn’t hear us or pretended to not hear us.  We also saw Val, possibly Jenna (hood was pulled over her to her eyes), Daniella, and Wit.  Everyone but Wit was doing the mad dash into the arena from the buses.  Wit was in full hair and makeup and talked to Abs for a second as she was entering her bus...Abs didn’t ask for a picture because Wit clearly wanted to get into the dry and not mess herself up.  We did a couple more laps then standing under the awning loops then met up with @loveisstatic​. 

(Poor sweetheart bore witness to Savage being savage most of the night.) 

We decided to take a lap but didn’t see anything....sigh.  After a pretty epic battle over the fact that Haley said she also “liked” Alan....as in, he’s a good dancer, which “someone” took as “Imma steal your man”. 

We went in the arena and went to the merch table where Abs refused a tour tshirt because Hannah was on it...lol.  I was trying to get a cute pic of Abs and her 10 paddle....but home girl was trying to make sure she wasn’t standing next to Hannah ffs....

Then we went to get drinks (ha for Haley) and were very quickly let in to our seats.  Haley was actually only a couple rows in front of us, so we were able to chat before the show and during intermission.  The show is, of course, absolutely amazing!  It has a cute “theme” of driving the bus on tour and the voice overs were cracking me up.  After the Magic Mike number, Jen talks to the lady rubbing up on Val.  The poor lady clearly either has zero idea who the two of them are or has lost her senses due to all the testosterone filled sweat on her person.  Jen “You know, I recently got married”  Lady “Oh, congratulations!!!”  Jen “Yeah, that man you were just grinding and rubbing and smacking on....that’s my husband”  Lady “OMG!”  Jen “Yeah, his name is Val.  I’ll let it slide this time (then whatever the script is)”.  The lady was so embarrassed.  It was funny.  There was the absolute cutest little girl in the front row that Val came out and talked to.  She’s on the DWTS Tour story.  That section of the show was pretty awesome, actually.  I loved his speech about breaking the tv barrier and coming to do shows live to all of us who were gracious enough to invite them into our homes every Monday night.  Abs fave dance was Daddy Shark (I’ll steal her video and post it later....we can’t have enough reposts of that gem) and anything that had Alan and mine was the entire Hero section at the end where they’re wearing white (for the dancing) and Dream On (for the music).  Actually, the dance where they’re passing the key to the tour around was pretty awesome, too.  Then, it comes to intermission and Abs starts bitching about being hungry.  I told her sorry (she’s not a popcorn or nut fan and that’s all they really had) and she starts made some wildly and embarrassing comments about want candy...Alan’s candy complete with eyebrow waggles and cackling.  I think that it was at that point that our new friend decided that kid is a hot damn mess.  Jenna’s swan dive is absolutely amazing in person....mostly for the reaction it causes.  I, of course, knew it was coming but the lady next to me literally slap/grabbed her husband and whisper yelled “OH SHIT!”.  After the show, the adults in the group had to pee.  The teenager in the group just bitched that we were going to make her late to the buses.  (This is a very important fun fact for later.)  They have some weird ass security dude on tour this year who had some rule where the crowd standing (couldn’t have been more than 20 of us) had to scrunch into the space of 2 of those metal fence things as opposed to the other 57000 of them lining the buses.  Every 5 min or so, he’d waltz out and yell at us to “get on this side of the line.  No one can be between the buses”...except none of us moved after the first few times.  He was intense and a good time fun ruiner.  Kept trying to tell us that the police were going to see us standing at his one of his non approved fences (the same ones we’ve stood at for 2 other tours) and “shut the whole thing down”.  Sure, Stan.  Evenutally, he stopped fussing and Kate came out. 

She is a gem, honestly.  Super sweet and funny as hell.  Love me some her.  After Kate went in, it was cold and SOMEONE in our group had to pee (remember that fun fact....ha).  Val came out and got into the runner van and scooted off to the airport.  There was much discussion of how we knew it was him and how we knew where he was going.  Sasha came out and we talked to him and got pics. 

(Not all his selfies are hysterical gems that will be reused for all of eternity)

I gave him all my notes and Glebs drugs because we thought we were going to have to leave.  He said he’d pass them out for me.  We were deciding to leave when Emma popped out of the bus all “Which one of you gave the Benadryl to Gleb?  That was bloody brilliant!”.

We took pics with her and decided to stick around for a bit more because Abs needed  wanted to see Alan.  Thankfully, he came out shortly after and turned on the front camera flash I didn’t even know I had. 

(He also has very long arms for a good selfie angle)

After Alan came Wit and Daniella and thankfully that was it.

The grumpy security dude told us all to leave and I think everyone was ready.  We were stacked like 6 people deep having to shove up to the front for pics as the pros were like “WTF is wrong with these weirdos in Jacksonville and why aren’t they standing over at all these other perfectly decent fences”.  Like, they’d move over to the fence to the left to take pics and we’d all be like “NO!  We aren’t allowed!”.  It was cold and it was a week night and everyone was pretty much over the foolishness at that point.  What was cool about the night was I got to not only meet up with a fun tumblr friend, but there were a few of us at the buses that have started recognizing each other from other tours.  The girl Brandon pulled on stage recognized Abs and me and then I recognized a dude we’ve seen each year.  Funny story, the girl (who is a huge Derek stan) and I were talking about how pretty Gleb is (after the Benadryl thing) and she was talking about Brandon and having to touch his butt on stage.  She’s all “I mean, it’s a nice butt, but he’s just too cute to rub up on”.  She’s not wrong, he is just the cutest thing in person....just not in a sexy Daddy Shark type way.  Anyways, another tour down.  Plans to see MVPJ with a new friend and bus stalk at the “next tour” with the other bus stalkers.  Can’t wait till next time! 

[god-hunter]

My Major Turnaround

Hey folks,

Things have really turned around for me in the past 2 weeks - a month.  Honestly I could have and should have written earlier, because there was a lot of build up and toss up between 3 jobs that I could’ve taken at one point.  It would’ve been interesting to analyze how I felt in that moment before I made a decision, and relive that in future readings.  I also have to tell you about my recent luck in the Dating Scene!

On the job front, things finally worked out for me.  It was a lot of back-and-forth with a Recruiter, then a phone interview, followed by an in-person interview 2 weeks later, where it was basically a done deal already.   Only, it really wasn’t that simple at all.  I was applying left and right daily and 2 other things hit too.  I had this interview at a bottle/can sleeving company that was so different and interesting and very high pay.  It was honestly a why not apply, but they actually bit and were interested in me!!  [It’s clear that these guys were my first choice, but it didn’t work out.]. Still, that interview was SUPER positive and I wouldn't have some sort of answer until 3 weeks.  [The fuck!?] That was not unlike the job I ended up with.  Long waiting period.

Then, there were 2 other places that bit too, but they were an easy 3rd and 4th place.  I won’t give names, but both were Warehouse jobs.  The 1st one was just so disorganized and the place looked dirty.. and when it came time to talk about pay, it was kind of up in the air, but I’d either get $14 as a Warehouse Associate or $16 as a Lead.  Get the fuck outta here.  I was upfront and let her know that I needed time to get back to her because I was waiting to hear back from other places.

The other Warehouse opportunity was way more promising, but the bottom dollar was $15.72 at start.  As I’ve never worked in a Warehouse before, there wasn’t much room for negotiation, but I really tried very hard.  This was a Hiring Event that I was at, so things moved quick.  Before I knew it, I was filling out an app on one of their laptops and then received an offer e-mail.  But when I saw that low number, there was no way I could sign the dotted line.  After any of that negotiating at the first interview!?  What the Hell, man?

The only thing that would've made me consider taking that risk was the Game this guy talked.  He was promising me that this was a lasting career.  People moved up there.  Great benefits.  There’s nothing wrong with starting at the bottom.  In 6 months, things open up, you apply within and see what happens.  etc. etc.  He told me that people on his team moved up to Corporate or other high paying departments, and he trained everyone on everything if he saw that they were willing to go that extra mile.  All this good stuff.

But I crunched those numbers, and they just didn’t make sense at all.  I’d barely be making grocery money, let alone bills.

So...  in my mind I had my 1st Place spot - the canning/sleeving company, this 2nd place spot from the Recruiter, the 3rd place spot, which was the $15.72 Warehouse job and 4th place, which was a last resort $14 or possible $16.

My in-person interview at the 2nd place area was the next day, and I didn’t know what I was gonna get.  He could’ve trapped me with more in-depth questions about things I didn’t know.  He could’ve completely caught me off guard.  But instead, just like the phone interview, he was very impressed.  He told me he needed a week, before he had his answer. That night the Recruiter called me, asked how it went and then told me, I got the offer.

!!!  I was shocked.  It was 2nd place, but it’d been so long since that 1st Place job saw me, that I had to consider putting it out of my mind.  4th place, also wasn’t an option.  So really, it was down to this place, which gave me an offer, which met me at my number, or a Warehouse job that was offering $15.72 an hour.

It should be a no brainer, but again - gotta think long term.  The Warehouse would've hired me directly, and despite starting at bottom, I’d be one of them, and climb the ranks within.. Maybe.

Meanwhile this job offered my number, they wanted me, but its Temp-Perm for 6 months.  No promises at continuity.

I had to weigh this option and I decided that it was a risk worth taking.  As I said to my family the night of the first phone interview.  It’s low risk.  On their end, if this doesn’t work out, they could just let me go.  And on my end, even if this doesn’t last past half a year, I’m going to learn more skills and really hike up my resume in experience.  Also the work is very comparable to what I’ve done for the past 2 years.  It’s Customer Service for an Aerospace company.  It just makes sense.

But again, at this interview, I really impressed it upon him that I was interested in working full-time in the long-term.  I asked how often it was that they’d hire a Temp, but things were going well and smooth, so they ended up hiring them full-time after the contract was up.

His answer was pretty positive.  He projects that the company is only going to keep needing people, and kind of let me know that this is how they do it.  [They just want to save a buck.]

But I’m not just gonna sit back and think I’ve got this in the bag.  I’m going to work hard and prove myself and earn my keep.

And all of that starts Tomorrow! I honestly can’t wait to get back to work and feel a sense of normalcy again.

But wait, there’s more.

In the Dating Realm things are heating up again!!

Last time I mentioned that Teacher person on Tinder.  She’s out. I don’t remember the time table, but there was another girl on Tinder that matched me, and for a literal 2 days that was exciting, until she peetered out as well.  Let’s call her TinderCat for lack of a better name. There’s no reason to really get into it about her, but our first conversation was a lot to do with cats, but then we just found that we didn’t have a lot in common.  It certainly wasn’t personal.  But when I gauged the whole Social Distancing and eventually meeting, she ghosted completely.  So.. ::farts::

Then came this week when a pretty hot girl swiped on me.  She was blonde and  looked a little tougher, but I said, “Cool!” and matched.  Conversation was fine, but not really groundbreaking.  Then, when I showed her off to my Dad, he thought she looked like a Whore, because she didn’t smile in any of her pictures...  I was so pissed at him, but that nickname has certainly stuck.  The Whore and I talked a little more the next day, and we put out a tentative plan to hang out at a bar near me that Friday or Saturday.

That night, while in a band meeting conference call, this other girl swiped on me out of nowhere, and I was blown away!  She’s a brunette, has a beautiful smile, she kind of looks like Allyson Hannigan and already, she just seemed so sweet!  I don’t have a name for her yet, but we’ve been talking, getting along and are starting to bond a little, so we actually have a date already!!  It’s tonight, so I’ve been referring to her as Sunday Girl, lol.  She’s really sweet and I can't wait to meet her.  That’s practically what we’ve been saying all week.  ::fingers crossed::  We’ve both been keeping it cool.

But that’s not all.  I hit a touch of deja vu when that Old Flame with a kid wanted to go on another trail date.  I know better now though.  She’s seeing someone and it’s getting very serious.  This was just a friend thing.  But I’m bringing it up, because on that day she posted some pics of us walking on the trail, and suddenly the Whore unmatched and unfriended me on FB.  I didn’t notice until that night.

Honestly, I’m head over heels for Sunday girl, but I didn’t forget about the Whore.  I let a healthy 2 days of space go by, but that was too much for her.  We already set a plan for later that week.  I was gonna check back on Thursday or something to talk about hanging on Friday or Saturday.  We never clarified the day.  But now that she fucking deaded me, I had a choice to make.

Let her Ghost and just let her win, thinking I wasn’t interested at all, or be a dick about it and show her that she fucked up.  I chose to be a dick.. I was careful, because I honestly didn’t want this date anymore.  I didn’t want to fuck up any potential for Sunday, however I needed to know if it was those Trail Pics.  It turns out it wasn’t.  It turns out that after 2 days of space, she thought I ghosted her.  She said it wouldn’t work out because she needed attention.

What the fuck ever.  I was busy.  I actually have hobbies.  And it’s really funny, because I’m Never the ghoster.  But apparently this time it was.  So there was real role reversal here.

I’m still a nice guy though and told her that if she ever changed her mind, I’d still be down to hang out.  But no.  This is done.

Then came a new contender!  This one matched me on Tinder and calls herself the Real-Life Daria, so we’ve got that nickname covered.  We spoke just a little bit on Friday and everything was positive, but then she just disappeared.  And I’m absolutely fine with that.

This is why they tell people to multi-task and gear up in the dating scene.  Everyone is different, but most people have the attention span of a gnat.  So they’ll either gravitate toward you, or they’ll completely focus on themselves and forget to respond altogether.

It’s a dangerous balancing act though, because things are still going well with Gal Pal.  Needy Girl is also still in the picture.  I haven’t mentioned them at all yet, because by shitty coincidence both of them had Covid scares and quarantined just in case.  In Gal Pal’s situation, she’s also been recovering from having her tonsils removed.

I honestly don’t remember the last time I physically saw her.  We made up since that weird date, and things have absolutely normalized again.  We don’t text every day, and since getting all excited about Sunday Girl, I’ve been pretty quiet.  But Gal Pal has been making the extra effort and she’s been feeling better.  She’s well enough to talk on the phone and wants to start hanging again, which is nice.

We had 2 really good conversations this week, and she continues to surprise me.  We really do get along and have more in common than I think.  So things are really getting interesting now.

But we’re gonna see what happens.

In general, to sum up the crazy dating life, the newest developments were:

* getting ghosted by TinderCat * getting deaded by the Whore  * setting up a date with SundayGirl * randomly talking to RL Daria * Needy Girl quarantining for my safety * Gal Pal recovering/quarantining herself, but texting/calling again.

You might have noticed that I haven’t said too much about my Date tonight. Honestly, it’s because I don’t want to jinx anything.  I don’t want to gush too much, just to tear it all down if things don’t work out tonight.  

But again, what attracted me was certainly her Allyson Hannigan look, she’s into metal, hiking, good beer...  2 of those are kind of common, but the Metal aspect is a specialty.  She’s definitely my kind of person in that regard. But then it turns out she has a cat and we bonded pretty hard about certain things in pet ownership.

She just seems fun and sweet and really likes my attention.  She’s also a hard workin’ woman, which is good, because I’m about to be quite busy myself.

So we’re gonna see!  I’m really excited to meet her.  We’ve been saying that to each other literally all week.  So here’s to tonight.

And the Future, as I start a new job!!

2020 is going to feel very different from here on in.  What’s left of it.

[dxlansfxck]

Summary: Grayson just finished his speaker table and all you could think of was him fucking you right into it. But he wanted to share it with the world first, so you head over to Ethan for your annual movie night. But as soon as Grayson finds out about a specific Snap, the tables turned.

~~~

“Ethan, Y/N! C’mon, you can look now, it’s finished!”, Graysons deep voice was heard from outside, he kept you waiting long enough for it, hasn’t even allowed Ethan to take a look at his new table he built on his own. Ethan just rolled his eyes at his excited brother.  “I’m glad this is over, I thought I had to live with Bob the Builder for forever”, he giggled before standing up. “Now c’mon, don’t let the constructor himself wait.” You kept laughing until you’ve reached your boyfriend which stood proudly in front of a pretty nice table. “Look! I did this myself! I fucking built something with my own hands!” Grayson squeals while jumping up and down. “Babe, take a pic, please. I want to share this awesome piece of furniture. No, I don’t want to, I need to share it!”

He starts to pose like he hasn’t done anything different in his life and you can’t help but admire his features, his broad shoulders and chest, the fucking veins on his arms that made you week by just looking at them, his serious face that you just want to sit on and the thick thighs you love to ride. 

“And done.” You smile while showing him the pictures and help him decide which one to choose for his Instagram. “Oh, wait! Wait! I need to make a Snapchat tour on this, I want everyone to really see it, y’know?” Grayson fishes his phone out of his pants and opens the App, while you and Ethan get out of the room again, kind of annoyed by his behavior.

“He’s just happy, Y/N. Don’t be mad, he’ll show it to you after his community. You know how he is, fans come first”, he sighs, but not as annoyed as you thought he would be. “I know, I just… y’know, I got kinda… aroused when I saw him besides this table”, your cheeks flushed while your eyes scanned the floor to avoid any eye contact with your best friend. Ethan just laughs it off. “You got what? I mean, I built my own wardrobe, does this make me attractive too?” You just rolled your eyes. “E, the wardrobe was from IKEA and had literally ten pieces to screw together. But Gray, he took so much effort in his hands to get all the pieces and…”,”Ew, Y/N stop dripping on the couch. Calm down, Bob the Builder can still fuck you later on. Play one of your games, let him wait and tease him. He’ll be pinning you into your mattress in no matter of time. Now c’mon, put on some nice underwear and we’ll start movie night a bit earlier today!”

You did as he told you, took a shower, even shaved your legs and private parts, put on your best smelling lotion, your favorite pair of mint green lingerie and a pair of cheeky pajamas over it before braiding your hair into two thick braids. You didn’t apply make-up, of course not. It was your house as well, you’ve known the boys over ten years and even before starting to wear make-up at all.

“E, I’m ready! Put Moana on, I’ll prepare the snacks!” You walked in front of Grayson’s and your room, still hearing him rambling about his table. “An then I ordered this piece of wood, but I had to cut it down to the right size and..” You just shook your head before heading down to the kitchen, preparing popcorn and some apples with peanut butter for the health addict Ethan. For yourself, you popped some cookies in the microwave to get them extra soft and the chocolate to melt. “What do you want to drink? Water or anything else?” “Uh, I guess I’ll have some La Croix, do we have any left?” You rolled your eyes, but packed 3 cans of the soda underneath your arms, before trying to grab all the snacks without having to walk twice.

“Okay, here I am, let’s start the legendary Dolan & Y/L/N Disney Movie night!”, you popped down next to Ethan, handing him the La Croix before stretching your legs out on his lap. Soon, the wonderful soundtrack to your favorite movie fills your eyes and when you started your solo on ‘How far I’ll go’, Grayson was still in his room. Even after meeting Maui, Gray wasn’t there. The movie came to an end – of course you cried, like you always did, and Ethan had to comfort you with some cuddles – and you decided to put on the next one. This time, Ethan chose his favorite one, The Jungle Book. Your cookies and the popcorn were long gone, even your water bottle was empty to this point. “E, your turn to get new ones”, you softly kicked him in the stomach while trying to get him grab new snacks. “I can’t watch a movie without snacks, y’know that, bub.” You tried your best to pout, but he just laughed. “Fine, fine. But please don’t do this ever again, you look so funny.”

While Ethan prepared whatever kind of snacks he thought were healthy enough for a movie night, you laid down onto your stomach to check Grayson’s Snapchat. You clicked through his ‘tour’, not really watching any of it since you wanted to see it in real life first. Then, an Instagram notification popped up which made you click on it. ‘graysondolan just went live!’

“… and when I built it, I got to be honest, it kind of hurt my hands. I think I’ll have blisters by tomorrow, but it was so worth it. You should check out my Snapchat for a perfect tour of it. Well, I chose this brown toned wood because I thought it would perfectly match the speakers and I just put some vinyls on top, I know I don’t have enough to fill it all up yet, but…”, you sighed and closed the app as soon as Ethan came back. He started the movie and you kept cuddling into him, letting him scratch your back and massage your scalp. “Imma take a snap of this, maybe he’ll see what he’s missing.” You quickly shot a picture of the TV with the snacks and your tangled legs before captioning it ‘Dolan & Y/L/N Disney time with my best friend!’.

You watched the movie in complete silence, munching on the snacks and trying to forget about your boyfriend upstairs. As soon as the movie comes to an end, you stand up, even angrier than before, and start to clean up the mess you both made. “Alright, E, it’s enough. I don’t want to wait 4 hours for him to get ready. What the hell is he doing up there, masturbating to his fucking table? I can’t believe it. I can’t remember the last time I was so angry at him.” You stomped your feet on the ground, trying not to cry out in frustration. Ethan eyes you silently. “Calm down, Y/N. You’re just horny. I mean, I can totally understand you, even I am kinda pissed, ‘cause I haven’t seen the table yet as well.” He scratches the back of his head, not quite sure what to say, as he eyes your entire body. You wore one of Grayson’s shirts, of course, but had it tied in a knot just above your belly button. Your pants were those kinds of velvety shorts you could find all over the stores, that made your butt look really nice.

Even though he knew you were Grayson’s and he would never make a move on you, you were his best friend for gods sake, but you looked gorgeous and his brother seemed to miss a big thing.

“Let’s make him jealous”, you suggest, starring Ethan dead in the eye. “I already tried to with the snap, but he hasn’t even seen it by now. Maybe if you post one, your fans will show it to Gray and…” ”Y/N, do you listen to what you’re saying? He’s my brother and you’re my best friend. I don’t want to be the reason for a big fight, y’know. I don’t think we should do that. I mean, how the fuck could we make him jealous? I will never kiss you. Not that I wouldn’t like to, but y’know.” He laughed slightly uncomfortable, scratching the back of his head while looking at you. “You could massage my back like you often do, but this time film it and post it on your story. Maybe we’ll scrunch my shirt up so they can get a glimpse of my bra, Ethan, I don’t even know, I have never done something like this. But he pisses me off so much.” “Okay, fine. Just this time, okay? I don’t want anybody to think I’m the one that steals his twin’s girlfriend. Let’s get upstairs and lay down on my bead, I’ll get some stuff for movie number 3.” Of course, you were kinda surprised by his answer but started to run upstairs to switch into a cuter top that fit your shorts, it was a dark blue halter top, made from this velvety fabric and made your boobs look bigger than they usually were, caused by the push up bra you still wore underneath. One last check on your phone still showed that Gray was live on Instagram, huffing you closed the app and went straight to Ethan’s room. He put on the dark red color of his bed light, lit some candles and laid out some chocolate on the bed. “Lay down there, at least I want to look romantic.” He suggested while opening Titanic on Netflix. You were still nervous, haven’t done anything like that with Ethan, but you weren’t uncomfortable with him. You laid down on your stomach between the chocolate and huffed at the feeling of your boobs being squeezed on the matrass. “Hurry, E. This is not comfy at all.” You pushed your top upwards, revealing your back completely until the beginning of your bra. Ethan started to play the movie, sat down on your butt and started to actually massage you. “Relax, Y/N. I won’t fake something like this, if I’m doing it, I’m doing it right”, his warm hands massage something onto your back that smelled beautifully like roses. “Mhh, E, why are you good at this? What have I missed?”, you closed your eyes in satisfaction, trying not to moan out his name. It was difficult to not show any reactions, while those large hands kneaded your back. “I don’t know, maybe because Gray gets injured so much after lifting weights and before he had you, I had to massage his sore muscles”, he smirked as he pressed down onto a point between your shoulder blades. “Oh fuck, Ethan!”, you screamed out, instantly feeling the pain as he pressed onto your muscles. He laughed it off, trying to soothe the muscle while still rubbing gently over it. “Let loose, babygirl”, he mumbled but seemed to regret it directly. You almost moaned again at the nickname that Grayson usually gives you while pounding into you. “I.. Uh.. I mean…”, Ethan stumbles, trying to get off of you. “It’s okay, E. Don’t worry, I guess. Let’s just take the picture so we can lay down and cuddle, yeah?” He nodded, quickly grabbed his phone and filmed a short section of his left hand still massaging your back – your quiet purrs definitely noticeable. But what was most noticeable was the outline of his boner at the end of the video, that he didn’t see while posting it with a ‘wellness day with my bestie’.

Grayson on the other hand of course saw it – after he read so many massages in his live stream about it. He laughed it off in front of the camera, telling them it must be some kind of shadow, but he was fuming. Not only fuming, his body felt like he was on fire. He quickly ended the livestream, before preparing the room for whatever he’ll do to you soon. Without even trying to cool down before the confrontation, he screamed out for both of you while running over to his twin’s room. When he opened the door, he saw both of you cuddling, your head resting on Ethan’s lap, his fingers tangled into your hair and gently massaging your scalp while your nails lightly scratch the top of his thigh. What Grayson didn’t see were the tear stains on your face, the stuffed nose and the worried look on Ethan’s face as he saw his brother bursting in. Titanic was still on, but neither of you watched it really. Ethan was trying to calm you down, you were starring against the wall and Grayson just stood there and took the scene in. “What. The. Fuck. Is. Happening. Here”, he brought out, still fighting not to lose it. Your eyes wander up to meet Grayson’s beautiful face, but you didn’t want to see him. You didn’t want to feel the pain – and the thought that he chose social media over you. Sure, it was his job, but it was also just a fucking stupid table. You turned around to Ethan, your face buried in the crook of his neck, trying not to start crying again.

“Bro, you should leave her alone”, Ethan mumbles as he rubs your back, trying to comfort you. “Bullshit, that’s my girlfriend that you want to fuck! Why the fuck are you even in your bed instead of the couch in the living room? Why is she wearing THAT. Y/N you’re behaving like a slut, y’know that?” Grayson breaks out, screaming at the both of you as he takes a few large steps before standing right next to the bed. “And you call yourself a brother, wow, Ethan. Nice job. Now, let her go or I’ll get really angry. I said, let her fucking go!”, his fists clenched around nothing, he was really fighting it back, but as soon as you snuggled deeper into Ethan’s chest, silent sobs leaving your lips, he couldn’t hold it anymore. One of his fists swung right into Ethan’s face, bursting his lip and leaving 1you with a horrific scream.

“GRAYSON! What are you thinking you’re doing? You’re acting up.” Just in this moment, Ethan jumped up and directly onto his younger brother, swinging one fist after another. “She was crying because of you, dumbass. She was waiting for you, dressed up like this, but you never checked up on her! I had to calm her down for hours, I don’t want to fuck her, I want to be THERE for her, like you didn’t. She was crying because she wanted you to fuck her. Dude, you’re so stupid”, he stood up, trying to stop his lip from bleeding. Now it was your turn to stand up, grabbing Grayson by the hem of his shirt and dragging him over to your room. “You. Are. Such. A. Psychopath! I don’t know what to say, Gray. First of all, you hurt me. Psychically. Then you hit your own brother? That’s weak. And third, you were streaming for fucking 4 hours, that’s something you’ve never done. You chose them over me, while I was being all dressed up for you”, you threw your top over your head directly into his face, “I even dressed up for you, put on some nice underwear, but all you did was talking to THEM”, your shorts followed soon after. “I would never want to fuck Ethan, you know that. He wouldn’t dare to touch me. But I was about to touch myself as soon as I saw you next to this table, because you looked so fucking hot next to it. I wanted you to destroy me on it. Wanted you to cum all over it. But right now”, you shoved him down onto the sofa in front of the bed, “you’ll have to watch and wait. I’m doing what you couldn’t”, you’re walking up in front of his table, putting your favorite The 1975 vinyl on before laying down onto the bed, admiring your lingerie. You knew mint green was Grayson’s favorite color on your pale skin, he loved the lace on the thong disappearing between your peachy butt cheeks. The little bow at the hem in the back, the only thing that was seen above your ass. The bra was something different, it pushed your breasts to maximum without looking fake.

Your fingers wander on top of the cups, dipping in here and there, but never actually showing off your boobs. You looked your boyfriend dead in the eye while sucking on your thumb, teasing the skin of your stomach with the other hand. “I was so horny for you, babe. As I took those pictures of you, I wanted nothing more than your big hands around my throat and your thick thigh under my pussy. But all I have now are my tiny little fingers because you didn’t want to give me what I needed”, you pouted at him while slipping your hand into your thong, directly playing with your swollen clit. “Oh.” You closed your eyes at the feeling, sucking even harder on your thumb and rubbing fast circles in your panties. “Stop that show, Y/N”, Grayson stood up, eyeing you with dark eyes, the boner in his jeans very prominent. “No-uh, babe. Sit back down, I don’t want you right now, I can make myself feel so go-oooh”, you entered to fingers inside your aching pussy. You don’t want to tease him anymore, you just want to cum over and over again.

“There’s no way I’m just sitting here!” Grayson basically ripped your hand out of your panties, while throwing you over his shoulder. “You wanted me to fuck you on the table?” You nod without any hesitation, totally in for whatever he had up in his kinky mind. “You really want me to come all over it?” “Yes, Daddy. Want to make you feel so, so good.” He hums in agreement before playing you next to the record player, moving it aside before breaking anything. “Well, babygirl. Today’s your lucky day. I’ll come. You won’t because you behaved like a little slut and tried to make me jealous with my own twin brother. Tz, I don’t like to say it but I’m quite disappointed in you”, he shook his head as he watched you all spread out in front of him. Still wearing your lingerie, legs wide open and mouth hang open. Your face was red, still a bit stained by all of the tears you lost today, but he didn’t mind. At the end of the night, you’ll be crying and begging for more.

Grayson didn’t even bother to remove his shirt, he went straight for his belt, pulling it out of his jeans and watching you with a cocky grin before letting the leather slap against your inner thigh. “So, so disappointed”, slap after slap, thighs, stomach and even one on top of your bra. “Gray, please!” You screamed out, not quite sure whether it was because of the pain or the pleasure the pain gave you.

“Please what? Please fuck you? Please eat you out like the nice little girl you were? Do you really think I’m going to reward you? You were a whore, babe. Whores only get to pleasure whoever owns them – and we both know it’s not Ethan who owns you”, he shook his head while watching the leather prints turning darker any second. “I’m all yours, Daddy. Please, love me again! Please, please, please. I’ll be nice.” You looked at him as innocent as you could, you didn’t even want to fight for dominance, as soon as you were in the bedroom, Grayson would never let anyone be the dom.

“Would you just shut up, yeah? Use your dirty mouth to suck me off, would you? Oh, why am I even asking you”, he chuckled to himself while yanking down his pants and literally dragging you off the table. One hand around your throat, the other around your braids, he fed you his aching cock, making you gag on in several times but you had no choice – you actually loved it. Loved the tears burning in your eyes, loved the rough carpet underneath your knees and you loved the hateful gaze Grayson gave you. A grin formed on your lips as you let his dick fall out of your mouth and began spitting on it. “’m not hungry”, you brought out before the grip around your throat was actually so tight that it cut off any air. You both never went this far and it should probably scare you, but you’ve never been that wet in your life. Your juices were leaking through your thong, your scent filled the air.

Grayson held you up against the wall, your toes weren’t even touching the ground and all he touched was your fucking throat. You know you haven’t had much air left in your lungs, but you trusted Grayson. As soon as you saw his worried look for a short glimpse you just nodded it off, giving him a securing smile. He quickly pecked your lips, showing he wasn’t actually that angry and for sure didn’t hate you, before spitting directly onto your face. “You like that, slut? Do you think I’d like you to spit on my cock?” You shook your head no, not knowing what he was about to do. You got dizzy, grasping for air, as Grayson let you sink to the floor. “Now, try again. Better be good this time, princess”, he didn’t give you much time to fill your lungs up with air again, before choking you with his dick once again. You really did your best, trying to give him the best blowjob he’s ever had, but he pulled away too soon for your liking. Then, he threw you back onto the table while ending himself off, spurting his come all over you and his favorite piece of furniture. You tried to catch some of it with your tongue, but most of it landed right onto your stomach. Humming, you scooped it up with your finger before licking it clean. “So delicious, Daddy”, you smiled up at him, but his face was still not relaxed at all.

“Shut up. I don’t know what to do with you. I want to taste this delicious pussy, but I also want to fill it up and watch my cum drip out of you, what do you think?” “Mhh, both, Daddy. Need your tongue first.” Your hands cupped your still clothed tits, not sure if you were allowed to take it off yet. “Don’t want to destroy my favorite set of panties”, he said as he carefully slid it down your legs before spreading them once more. “You smell so good, so delicious, so sweet. But you weren’t a sweet girl today, princess”, he shook his head before giving your clit a single flick with his tongue. It felt like electricity jolted through your entire body, even though Grayson didn’t really do anything. He repeats the almost gentle gesture, moving his tongue back and forth, his nose almost disappearing inside your delicious folds. He loved eating you out, he ate you like it was his last meal, almost drowning in your juices, letting them soak his entire face. Once his tongue hit your desperate hole, you screamed out, ankles behind his head to press him further into you. His nose touched your clit, while his tongue was buried deep inside you, almost slurping up whatever you gave him. He quiets your next scream with his fingers, slipping two of them down your throat, chuckling at you gagging on them. You weren’t about to tell him that you were dangerously close, but of course he knew. He knew your body even better than his own, he had many years to study it and by now, he was perfect at it. All that was left of him were his fingers inside you. You mewled at him, still sucking on those long digits, trying to rub your legs together but he held your thighs wide open for him to see your pussy clenching around nothing. He pulled his fingers out of your mouth and watched you with a devilish grin, before massaging your butthole with one of them, slicking it up with your spit and juices before sliding his middle finger directly into it. “Gray!”, you moaned, closing around his finger, not being distracted by the finger in your asshole, you were both into anal, it was nothing new to you, but usually he’d prepare you to what was happening.

You were about to rub your clit again as he began to move his finger, even trying to fit another one in there as well. “Open up for me, baby”, he cooed while dragging your bra down your breasts, playing with your pierced nipples and finally the pink ring of muscles allowed him to slip is ring finger in.

You looked up at his face, not quite sure how god could ever create such an angelic person with such a dirty mind. His jaw was clenched as he watched your asshole taking his fingers so well. His cock was rock hard again, ready to destroy whatever hole was next on his list. “Gray, please. Fuck me, I don’t care where, but I need you somewhere”, you whined as you pressed down on his fingers, lifting your hips against his face. He laughed, poking his tongue against your clit once more, while adding two fingers of his other hand into your aching pussy. “Fuck!” You screamed out once again, literally shaking on this fucking table. But as close as you were, he wouldn’t let you come again, removing both hands and his tongue from your body.

“Feels bad, huh?” He made fun of you, laughed you right in the face while watching his cum stain the table. “This will be hard to clean up, I think you should lick it off the table.” You raised your eyebrows at him, but he just pointed to the mess his cum made next to you. “Lick it off”, he demanded again. You couldn’t do anything but nod while turning around, your ass now facing him, and start to lick his cum off the wood. He grunts in appreciation before grabbing your hips, spitting onto your asshole and sliding his slick cock into it. “Such a good girl, babe, take it all. Fuck, you’re so tight”, his eyes closed while he clenched his jaw. Once he bottomed out, he starts to move, rubbing small circles on your clit to give you what you needed. “Feels good, princess?” “Yes, Daddy, thank you”, you moaned, desperate for an orgasm. “May I come now? Please? I’ve been so, so good to you.”

“Mh, I think you’ve earned it. You can come once this side of the vinyl is finished”, he grinned while still pounding into your tight ass. She lays down, was currently playing and to your luck, you knew that it was the last song. You could come after the next two minutes or so, which gave you another boost of energy. The song was way too slow to fuck you in the right rhythm, Grayson pounded relentlessly into you, not caring which track was on by now. “You’re the death of me, Y/N”, he whispered in your ear as he flipped you around, now disappearing into your pretty little pussy. “I can’t fucking hold it anymore, Gray”, you screamed out, pulling your own hair before holding onto your tits, massaging them and playfully pulling your nipples. “The song’s not over yet”, he taunted while ramming into you, his abs clenched, sweat not dribbling, but rinsing down from his forehead and chest. Your sight got dizzy once again, as he rubs your clit to the last few accords of the melody, making you squirt all over him as soon as the song came to an end. He quickly lifts your hips and opens his mouth for you to come all over him.

“Damn, babe”, he watched in amazement about how much liquid just squirted out of you as soon as he swallowed the load. His tongue collected everything that was left on your pussy, not wasting anything of the good liquid that he would kill for.

“Thank you, Daddy”, your eyes fell shut, sudden tiredness overcoming you as your muscles relaxed. “Now, c’mon, Y/N”, he cooed as he lifted you up bridal style. “Now I’ll take care of my girl, not that you need to run over to Ethan ever again”, he buried his face into your hair while walking over to the bathroom, filling a tub with warm water and letting a bath bomb fall inside.

“About the boner thing..” You giggled, but Grayson gave you a stern look. “I’ll never want to hear about that again!” And once you opened your Snapchat after a long bath, a relaxing back massage and maybe some more cookies, Ethan’s video was long gone, instead there was a picture of him with headphones under his blanket, his face scrunched up in disguise.  

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Day 6 without sculpting...

In a way it’s weird I miss sculpting so much. This near daily sculpting is actually a relatively recent thing for me.

Actually, for about the first 20 years of my life I can count every time I sculpted on my fingers.

My father inspired my first sculpting. Before I was born he’d dug some clay out of the river bank and sculpted a little baseball sized head with marbles for eyes. It facinated me, so at about four I dug some clay out of a ditch and tried to sculpt two full figures. I let them dry on a plank in the summer sun....and they crumbled. Amazingly, one of the heads survives to this day.

In kindergarten we had a cool teacher with his own kiln. Technically he had us making little pots. I used the scrap and made a little alien head with big almost Mickey Mouse ears that he glazed for me and a little alien with loops for arms that I colored with crayons. He left at the end of the year, takng his kiln with him. 

In second grade the new teacher had us make dough art angels. This was an “everyone copy the teacher” deal, so no real self expression. Let me tell you, dough art does not last in this climate. That angel no longer existed within a year. 

My parents gave me some plasticine type clay for my 10th birthday. Unfortunately that sort of clay never can be made hard, and I really wanted something that would “stay”. I barely used it.

When I was in 9th grade the art class had a paper mache project. Or at least they called it that. Really it was a structure out of wire, newspaper and masking tape covered with plaster bandages. I made a dragon, Lockheed from the X-Men in fact, but that was that. No way could I get the plaster bandages myself, and I didn’t care for the rough surfaces.

And that was that for growing up.

The weird thing is, I actually was always drawn to sculpting, but it never occured to me I should sculpt. I loved physical objects that depicted living things and always noticed when stories included sculpting. Heck, I even started writing a fantasy story involving a sculptor and magical sculptures. But actual sculpting wasn’t even a daydream.

And then one day my hands got bored. It was an unusual day, a day off while Pop was away. Free time meant I could do what I wanted. In this case it was to watch a movie (The Brothers Karamazov), read a book (don’t remember what), read a magazine (dunno) and listen to music (forget what)....all at the same time...

Yeah, I’m like that. Always wanting to do several things at once.

 There I was, sitting on the floor, all these things around me, and I noticed my hands were bored. Because hands do get bored. Mine do anyway. Just ask them! Pop had some boxes of clay he’d bought for a project but ended up with some left over. On a whim I decided to try sculpting with this “proper” clay.

I made a little bust, a woman with a flower in her hair and a beastie lying round her shoulders. If you look up pics of it (all my sculpting that exists is on my blog) you will see how crude it is, but at the time I was pleased. I’d expected sculpting to be hard, but this was easy!

But we didn’t have a kiln. Well, Pop had one somewhere out in the shop, but he didn’t know where, didn’t have time to look, and wasn’t keen on me pawing around when it was probably behind some unmovable things.

So that was that all over again, the old problem of wanting to sculpt something that would stay.

And then I discovered sculpey!

Now you would think this would kick off constant sculpting, but it was more fitful at first. The trouble was, I did not want to be watched sculpting. I just wanted to goof around with it, stress free. So what I did was sculpt every time I was guaranteed a solid hour to myself. I’d usually go stand on the ramp outside, sculpey in one hand and an old dull pairing knife in the other and sculpt.  

This is probably why I sculpt so quickly even now. Back then I just wanted to do it unseen, baking as soon as there was anything at all I liked about it. Now fast sculpting is just secnd nature.

After a bit I branched out, making ornaments and getting roped into making a dollhouse doll for a cousin. I also made several dolls that scale for fun and gifts for my family. I also pleased the four year old me by making a Sleestak from memory. I experimented with gluing a face on one of the boxes I’d painted. (Painting boxes was a thing for me for years)  I started running out if space for the busts so I started making magnets and lining all the metal bookcases in my bedroom with faces. 

But during all that I could go weeks, even months, without sculpting. I’d paint boxes. I’d write. But all these things shared a little space of free time. 

We were busy. The fiberglassing business took a heck of a lot of work. There were all sorts of organizations, causes, meetings I tagged along to, obligations to my family. Making takes time, even if it’s just an hour, and back then I never had insomnia so working after everyone went to bed wasn’t an option.

Still, I made things right along until the weirdness happened. For a several years I had a creative block. 

Totally. 

Completely.

 I didn’t sculpt. Didn’t paint boxes. Didn’t write stories. I didn’t even dream at night.

It was hellish. 

I can’t tell you why it happened. I can’t even tell you why it ended. All I can tell you is was if my imagination started to reawaken in 2012, a year that at that time I thought was one of the worst in my life. It started with a painted box here and there. Slowly.

Then 2013 happened, the terrible year of Pop’s illness that made the bad things of 2012 seem pale in comparison. Suddenly I was dreaming, dreaming in overdrive in fact. The dreams  I was churning out boxes as fast as I could paint them to “exorcise” those dreams. The dreams occupied my mind constantly. At night they were like serialized stories night after night, during the day I was like an obsessed fangirl disecting and rerunning her favorite show that just happened to be created by my subconscious.

This frantic box painting lasted until the last stages of Pop’s illness, when it stopped. I haven’t painted a box since. 

In mid to late 2014, the year Pop died, the cousin I made the Beast doll for sent me a letter. Actually, now that I think about it, it was the last time I heard from her. She said she’s shown the doll to someone she knew that had a dollhouse collector store and they said I had talent, that in fact it was as good as many professional dolls. The cousin suggested, now that our fiberglassing business was gone I should take up doll making.

It sounded reasonable, though I completely doubted that “talent” part. But there were problems with this plan. I hadn’t sculpted in several years and didn’t know if I still could. I wanted to make fully jointed dolls, but making them by hand out of sculpey would be tricky to master. Everything I made (and make) is one of a kind and feels like a part of me, so parting with them would be painful. I needed to figure out how make it easier on myself.

I mean, there is a reason I jokingly call my sculpting “making friends”.

And so I got to work. I decided to use my werewolf box as inspiration, figuring that with these wolf people I could make them enough alike it would be easier to part with them, but enough different I wouldn’t get bored. I could learn to make mold from them, and then selling wouldn’t hurt.

This is when I think my sculpting addiction really began. Instead of sculpting occasionally I was sculpting most nights, and would stay up late when making the bodies.

This period of experimentation lasted for a few months, long enough for me to suffer the disapointment of being an outsider exhibiting at an art show with my odd fantasy dolls. I actually WAS making progress. I liked a few of the dolls snd thought in a few more months I’d be ready to go to the next stage, I even bought molding and casting materials to learn to use...

And the floor collapse happened. This started an ever increasing cascade of disasters that continues to this day.

At first I thought the interuption was temporary. By the end of 2015 I’d be back at learning to make dolls...

Obviously this didn’t happen. For months I kept making heads for future doll experiments, complete with metal loops for stringing them on. I even built a storage box to keep them all in. Eventually the room with the box started to go, so I “temporarily” moved it to the other house. It’s there still.

By then I had a sculpting habit. I needed to sculpt. My fingers would twitch around sculpey. Mom would laugh at how on nights where I didn’t sculpt my eyes would dart to the sculpey every few seconds. She would tease me about it calling to me, but it’s sort of right. In 2015 sculpting had become something that I constantly felt I should be doing. 

To be honest, the addiction aspect has only gotten worse with time. 

When Mom was here there were more nights I didn’t sculpt, and if I started sculpting as she went to bed she’d remind me not to stay up late. Since her stroke and her going to stay with my brother I’ve been alone. Alone to watch movies and sculpt, with no socializing to distract me and no one to tell me to stop. 

Now the nights I don’t sculpt are rare (see last November when I sculpted more faces than there even were days in that month because I sculpted more than one a couple nights). The faces stick with me less though, to the point that when I post pics a month later I have actually forgotten many of them already.

I don’t do anything with these faces. I sculpt them quickly, photograph them, wrap them in tissues and throw them into one of the storage boxes I have for them. Those boxes have literally hundreds of faces by this point.

I shouldn’t NEED to sculpt.

 I have spent more days of my life not sculpting than sculpting. I have sculpted more faces in the last year than most people do in a life time. Ignoring the fluke of the one face I sold, I don’t profit by it in any way.

The sculpting is a compulsion, an impulse I can’t resist. I feel a weird guilt and unease when I don’t sculpt. It hasn’t even been a full week without sculpting and it’s driving me nuts. Believe me, I know it’s ridiculous! 

[cassafra5]

Where Have I Been?

I’ve been a bit nervous to post this.

Two month or so ago, I teased at a possible announcement and something I was very excited to share with you all. I had been given the opportunity to work on a temp-to-perm basis for a comic start-up headed by Marvel alumni. I applied on a whim to be a freelance Storyboard Artist, but I was instead offered the chance of working in a full-time Editorial and Admin position with a few hours dedicated to storyboarding and participating in creative meetings each week. As someone who's always wanted to get into creative work, this was a really huge deal for me and I was excited to learn and be able to have projects to add to my portfolio.

Now, part of the reason I held off was because I wanted to make sure it was solid before I made the announcement. It was a dream come true and it seemed too good to be true ... and it was. 

Read below if you'd like to hear about how I unwittingly signed up to take care of a herd of entitled neckbeards and had to work on preventing them from literally walking into glass instead of actually storyboarding as advertised.

TL;DR of my experience:

2018 unfortunately was a pretty rough year. The good news is that I managed to push for a mutual termination of contract and should be a lot more active very soon now that I’m not as emotionally drained by an incredibly toxic environment.

Credit to @kirain for looking through this and helping to edit it when I just rage-typed all of this together lol;

I walked away from my interviews in tears after being told that my work really had potential. I told them I had been a comic fan since I was a kid and this was something I was excited about. I grew up with family trying to dissuade me from doing art and I had friends/partners who really weren't interested in my work. I am by no means a professional, so I threw up whatever I could be proud of and applied to the role on a whim. So as you can imagine, having real professionals say I had potential was something amazing to me. 

My first day, they sat me at a desk with a tablet and computer and I was super excited to start learning and was immediately approached with a Sexual Harassment plaque and told to mount it. Weird but alright. It was a start-up and I already assumed we’d all be helping out with small jobs around the office. I helped them fix their scanner and they suggested I move it to my desk. I was a bit confused but did so. I asked if they wanted me to set their computers up for it but they waved their hands at me and said we could do it later. 

This would eventually result in me scanning every single document for every person in the office, and also measuring the office for furniture that they would randomly decide not to get. When I had a day off, I came back to piles of documents they refused to scan themselves since "that was my job". I got chastised since they wanted them in a hurry and it should have been done sooner ... i.e., the day I was off.

Alright. 

I also ended up doing the following duties:

Calling the IRS every single day because the Controller was too uppity about something that was in the mail and somehow thought they could track it...DURING THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN. I was required to do this and told it was part of my job.

Calling Instacart at the behest of their Legal Counsel, a man who bitched on the phone for 2 hours because he didnt want to go downstairs to drop off a faulty computer part, and having to tell them that their avocados were too soft and their almond milk had too many ingredients. I was required to do this and told it was part of my job.

I had to ask for multiple vendors to provide quotes and COI and do site visits to our office for things that they, on a whim, would decide they wouldn’t want....resulting in multiple vendors getting angry at me.

I had to get what “everyone wanted for Christmas” for their luncheon...they expected me to get cakes same day from a fancy bakery, as well as LOBSTER (one of them said this was apparently a Christmas tradition of theirs?) Mind you, they repeatedly spoke about budgeting since they were working on investment money and the owner repeatedly would mention how “every day we weren’t producing was a day we died a little more.” I guess that death would have been from gout.

I had to take on dealing with all building requests. Fine ...until they started to tell me I should be reaching out to building management about the "radiation coming out of the cable box". They said it was shooting at a person given their angle and, because I'm *that person*, I mentioned it'd probably be more of a radius vs a direct shot. They started talking about it causing a mushroom cloud over the office. I laughed. Apparently it wasn’t a joke :/ They also complained about the fan making noises and being able to hear people partying and singing songs ... during the holidays ... when people normally do that sort of thing.

I also had to deal with things such as their electrical work and assistance with general interior work in the office...for some reason

They put me in charge of the Party Committee for a Housewarming Party where I was the only one actually making arrangements. This would be fine but the office was sublet and, due to their clumsiness in handling their electrical work before I got there, part of the office has no electricity and there was also a fallen over power beam in the middle of the office...but I guess that can be an accent piece.

I literally had to rename their files. Rather than renaming documents themselves, they would email me to rename them and reupload them because they couldn’t be bothered to change them themselves.

I made the mistake of telling them I had worked with DocuSign in a previous job. What resulted was them forcing me to teach it to them...but then they would argue with me about why it couldn’t mail merge or allow them to revise their documents. A Docusign rep mentioned they could just do their work outside of Docusign and import it since the whole point is to maintain the integrity of the document but they just kind of blamed me for not knowing enough about something I had only briefly used in another completely different setting.

I was literally approached by the person who should have been leading me in storyboarding and told that I needed to look into “distraction graphics” for the office because he was concerned that the two head people (WHO WORKED AT MARVEL) kept bashing their heads on the glass and he was afraid they’d go through the glass eventually. My literal reaction:

Yeah...he didn’t laugh. It was apparently serious and I had to have some very awkward talks with some window vendors. Do you know it apparently costs more than $3.5k to cover glass that you could probably avoid if you just looked up from your phones when you walked?

Frustrating, but whatever ... it wasn't a big deal and so long as I got to do some creative work, I was willing to tolerate it. 

I asked the person in charge of art and asked when we'd be able to work on creative and was told that my role was mainly in admin and to "leave the storyboarding to the storyboarders".

I guess I just imagined every single mention of that during the interview process.

I was taken aback but he assured me it was fine since I could work in production and work on other items, like cutting comics up for Webtoons. This wasn't what I wanted, but fine ... maybe I could get something out of this regardless and learn, even if I was just cutting up and processing other peoples' work. By the way, they ended up not even letting me do that.

And here’s where I get to the owner of this establishment...

I got called in to meet with him and told I would be given a special project. He wanted me to suggest a few themes that would be used for a promo project the company was working on. Okay ... this could be good. I started thinking of all my favorite genres and comics and wrote out a decent list. I asked him if it there was a limit and he said there was no limit, so I made a comprehensive list.

He brought me back in a week later and ripped my report apart.

First, he didn't want Marvel and DC included, but then he got upset when they weren't. 

Star Wars and Serenity weren't Scifi, according to him; they were "Space Opera". So that had to be done. They were set in space but apparently that wasn't scientific. Alright. 

Spongebob and Ducktales were irrelevant, but apparently The Simpsons was super relevant. 

He smiled at me and told me I needed to redo it because I obviously didn't know what I was doing. Okay ... sure. Then he kept changing his mind. We started this before the holidays and I worked on making a very sortable report in case there were anymore last minute changes.

Me and another co-worker who were avid comic book readers spent a lot of time looking at sales numbers and articles to compile what we should focus on; however, for one reason or another, the owner would dismiss everything we brought up since he "hadn't heard of it". Deathstroke apparently never existed. Teen Titans also ... totally not relevant. Although he said he was open to ideas, he'd bash every single suggestion, answer every question by asking us why we'd ask such "stupid questions", and he literally asked us to bring in articles and statistics just so he could completely dismiss them. He was completely un-open to hearing anyone else's opinions and already had a dead-set idea of what his audience wanted ... despite having told us he hated comics and that "normal people [like him] don't read comic books". He knew what these idiots wanted, and it was just a matter of making us redoing the report over and over until we happened on the right combo HE wanted. I.e., pretty much the top comics he last saw at the dawn of the early 2000's.

I literally had taken pics of a few bestseller displays I’d seen in stores (Newsbury Comics, Barnes and Nobles etc) but he literally said that that didn’t mean they would sell. What does Best Selling even mean then?

But it's cool to just completely dismiss your customer base and act like you know better, right?

I ended up having to work until 10:00pm one night in order to make all necessary changes and print covers for him to review. What started as a simple list of themes became a report that had over 600 rows in Excel. Even then, 80-90% of it ended up not being used. I was so exhausted at this point and burnt out. I loved comics ... but having to rip them apart by category, put them back together, eliminate whole categories because he didn't want them, and then having to remake them after he changed his mind was agonizing. 

I had another meeting with him and he smiled at me and simply said, "Aww I thought this would be a fun project for you, since you're a fangirl after all"

He was taunting me. This was a game to him. Of course, I should have expected this from someone who literally made a cheat sheet so "idiot comic book fans" would get his jokes. I'm not joking. It actually exists and I'm sure it's something Marvel would rather not even remember.

A couple more weeks passed and, at this point, a majority of the office depended on me to get people's food choices for their snacks, following up with building maintenance, and I barely had any creative projects whatsoever. I did get to create the party invitation the main art guy refused to make but he pushed me to make in Canva, because he thought Canva was the end all and be all to graphic design and that it should be used for all presentations for our LinkedIn. Pretty much everything Canva (something used mostly by Instagram and Twitter users) probably wasn't meant to be used on.

Keep in mind that this person was in charge of creative and was also in charge of gate-keeping me from doing the one thing I was tolerating everything for. I had literally repeatedly asked about the storyboarding during the interview process and even though they had changed the duties, they always confirmed that storyboarding would be a part of it. 

Last week, I asked the main art guy again about my job description and about how he had mentioned storyboarding being off the table entirely. He immediately got defensive and reminded me that I was an admin. I mentioned I still had the job descriptions and emails mentioning me having a hand in creative, and he accused me of talking back and said that he could tell from how I looked that I thought he was an idiot.

He also accused me of not being enthusiastic about his projects. I was confused since I was actively asking for projects and had literally been trying to find some way to take on creative assignments. He got even angrier and said I wasn't telling him how much fun I was having and how excited his work was making me.

What?

It suddenly dawned on me that every talk I'd had with this guy about how excited I was to learn from him/to work on the team gave him some sort of weird satisfaction. I mentioned that I didn't think I should have been sending him emails about that, and he asked, "Why not? You shouldn't assume I don't want them. I want you to tell me my stuff is fun and how excited you are about them!" I was ... very uncomfortable. This grown man. This grown ass man wanted me to fawn over his work and send him emails about how excited I was about his work. About HIM. What a narcissist.

He made enough commotion that the owner brought us in. He sat us down and said something about him being a bit familiar with this sort of thing, having gone to marriage counselling himself. I was already uncomfortable and that really didn’t help. 

What ended up happening was they berated me in his office and told me I was "too honest", and I was told that I didn't know my place.  I was told that at the very top were the two Marvel alumni, then underneath there was everyone else and I was right at the very bottom of everything and I should know my place.

These were the two people who had told me I had potential and who had made me so happy just a couple months prior. I was frozen in place as they grinned at me and told me that obviously there was some misunderstanding on my part. They then told to run along while they thought about what they could throw at me to make me happy. The guy who yelled at me was not chastised or told his behavior was wrong in any way, shape or form. I got dragged into a staff meeting afterwards, where the owner proudly told all of us, "This is the best company you can work for, where you can work with people you like." And in the same breath, he told everyone not to fuck up or otherwise it would be "resume time".

I felt broken the rest of the day, where I heard them blatantly laughing and insulting the creators they were going to work with. One creator was commented on as being able to "...work as a writer but you shouldn't look at her stuff unless you want your eyes to bleed.” They said worse stuff too and laughed like a bunch of entitled douchebags on DeviantArt trying to get kicks off of stuff they thought were cringey. It was insane. These were supposed to be professionals in the field. It made me uncomfortable to think what they said about my own work when they told me I had "potential". Some of these were small time Tumblr creators like me who probably thought this would be their big break too...

I thought about putting in my two days, the amount that was specified in my contract, and worried about what they'd try to do in the time I had left. I was miserable and scared and nervous.

On Friday, the owner approached me and asked me for my portfolio while smiling to himself. I was skeptical and asked why, and he firmly said, "Because I want to see it." I sent it and prepared for the worst.

He brought me in for a two minute "friendly" chat in the conference room, and once we sat down, he mused over his computer and said it was "coming back to him” I did art.

He remembered now. It had been so forgettable, after all. Aww, maybe there was something there.

With a smile, he told me I "shouldn't take it personally", and that only one artist so far had been able to get along with him and work with what they wanted. They'd thrown out 8 artists after they just simply "didn't work". They admitted that they had promised me storyboarding, but no one was working to their intended vision. That they hadn't really figured out a place for me in the company, but maybe going out on a business trip would help him clear his head and he could find something I could do. "I guess we've been letting you down a bit, haven’t we?" 

I felt like at this point he wanted me to act desperate and happy for the possibility of a chance and buy into it and take his offering with gratitude...

...but I was done with his shit. 

I told him that I had started at his company a few months ago and that if they hadn't figured out where I was supposed to be in all that time, then maybe it wasn't a good fit. He was quiet and didn't seem prepared for it. "Well ... what do you think we should do about it then?"

"If it's alright with you, I would like to terminate this contract immediately." I said it through gritted teeth. I'm not a confrontational person, but after everything that had happened, I was worried I'd lose it. I could feel myself shaking, but I just couldn't deal with it anymore. "I didn't appreciate being told I was at the bottom of the food chain and I really didn't appreciate you allowing me to be treated this way. Frankly, after that, it's taken every bit of motivation out of me and I'd like to end this. Now." I was trying to be professional and control myself, but I was quietly seething with every word. I told him I had saved all my job descriptions and had the contract if he wanted to review it, and I knew that what they had been telling me was bullshit.

He was really quiet and his eyes were wide open. I really think he expected me to be grateful and happy and willing to do more and more for the company just for that little chance. He mumbled something about not prolonging my suffering and told me to just assist in transitioning over my duties and typing things up. 

Once I did, I asked if I was free to go and he said I was and I left. It was so much of a relief not to have to come back to that office.

So this is what happened with something I thought would have been a great in to an industry I was excited about. I got used up (and not even for the skills I actually have under my belt) and kept around as an emotional punching bag, and for the dumbest things imaginable and essentially just assisted them with setting up their office after they'd sublet it.

On the plus side, I feel like it was a big deal that I could actually stand up for myself, even if it happened to be to someone like that. Even though I'm not a professional and even though some people would consider me insignificant, I feel like there's never a reason to make any person feel insignificant and like they're the lowest of the low. I hated how they spoke about other creators and I hated how they spoke to me, and there isn't any reason anyone should have to deal with people who are just bent on being condescending.

Ironically, around this time, Steven Universe released an amazing episode and the ending theme kind of hit home with me. I loved its message and I think that ep. kind of helped me in a way.

2019's off to an interesting start, I guess ... but I guess I can be proud that I'm stronger despite it. I am passionate about my art and do want to be able to work professionally but there’s no reason to ever tolerate disrespect and dishonesty in a company.

In the words of Raul Julia/Gomez Addams:

Hopefully, one day, I’ll get my break but this definitely wasn’t it. 

If any of you guys are in NYC and happen to come across a mildly shady startup toted to be headed by Marvel alumni, maybe just be a bit careful. I normally don’t post about stuff like this and honestly tend to get quiet when things happen because I have trouble opening up about personal issues but maybe it can help someone or at the very least be an interesting read.

[kazlifeadventures]

Trinidad & Tobago - Carribean dreams...

I am so ‘vex’ that I won't be ‘liming’ in this beautiful place any more. I have been one lucky person to have been able to come here and hang with a local for almost a week. Jasmine has shown me her Trinidad and for that I am truly grateful. I have eaten so many local foods and they have all been fantastic. I have impressed the locals no end with my love of pepper sauce. The food here is tasty, spicy, and pretty much specific to this island. ‘Nah boy’, I am so very much enamoured with this country! One of my friends asked me if I had posted photos of the food. Truth be told, I don’t have a lot of pics, its not the most photogenic, and I seriously just wanted to eat it! I have partaken in the local speciality of doubles, with ‘plenty’ I might add - for those unaware that is with extra hot sauce and/or the mango bone that is infused with more pepper. Doubles is made with 2 baras filled with a curry channa (chick peas), it originally started as a breakfast food, progressing to be an anytime of the day food. It’s nutritious, tasty, and sold at street side vendors everywhere. Apparently even pizza and KFC taste better over here. This I can now say I agree with. Not sure if the food tastes better, or if its adding the ketchup, mustard, and pepper sauce that assists with the taste upgrade.....

Jas took me to the home of street food a little town called St James, and made sure I got to have saheena, (seriously amazing spicy little deep fried spinachy deliciousness ) as well as alloo pie...amongst other things. The locals only really eat out at restaurants on special occasions so that meant Jas cooked for me a lot of the time, and wow, just wow. I loved the chicken curry (brown), smoked herring, baigan choka, salt fish, home made roti, the fabulous goat curry.... I could rave on, but google Trinidadian food and you’ll understand. Jas lives out in the ‘country’ to the South of Port of Spain, the capital. We spent one evening heading around to some of the local rum bars. Rum bars are everywhere here. Beer is cold and cheap (and made here - love the Stag and the Carib!). I got to meet a few of the locals. Over here they will buy you a drink even for something as simple as the fact that they had to order over you slightly. At the bar. They loved to meet the ‘white girl from Austalia’, as out here they dont see a lot like me... The good thing is none of it was them just trying it on with the foreigner. These are genuinely lovely, polite, caring people. I had a dance off with some girls from Venezuela, and ended up drinking way more drinks then I paid for, eating (they sell bar snacks and’cutters’ only at the rum shops) some tasty wontons at one place, and some really tasty fried chicken at another. We then got some free food from another lovely local who bought us a drink, and also then brought us across some Souse and Corn soup from his food stall (across the road from the rum shop). Anyway I can now say I have tried Souse, not sure I’d eat it again, it was flavourful, but pigs trotters in broth with onion and cucumber is not on my list of things to eat again! I think I have decided that I need to come back to Aus and start my own Trini food store, I think it’d be a huge hit. Love the local beers. Love the rum here. Jas made sure I tasted the Puncheon rum - 75 % and you never get a hangover or upset stomach... I wanted to bring some home, but alas no room in the suitcase! One of the biggest things, I was not aware that this is the home where Angostura bitters is bottled. It was first created in the town called Angostura in Venezuela by a German surgeon stationed in Venezuela, originally produced there between 1824 - 1830. In 1875, the plant was moved to Trinidad and that’s where it’s secret recipe is still produced today.

One of the main religions here is Hindu, they have a giant (85 feet - 26m) statue of Lord Hanuman Murti located in the grounds of Dattatreya Yoga. The statue is the second tallest in the world, and the tallest one in the western hemisphere. When we pulled up onsite there was one man looking after the bookstore who allowed us to enter the grounds and take photos. We weren't allowed to enter the temple/yoga centre as we weren't appropriately dressed. The gentleman then showed us the book explaining how the statue had been built and answered all my gazillion questions. It was like having our own private tour! Jas then took me down the road a little further to show me the temple in the sea. This temple was originally constructed by hand 1947 -52 by Sewdass Sadhu an immigrant from India. It has since been added to, and tidied up, but it's an amazing place, and a site of pilgrimage for Hindus. It's also one of the designated locations for Hindus to perform the funeral pyre. Hindu religion requires that the dead are burned near water and a holy place.

Brian Lara is still HUGE here. He is a home town Trini boy so I completely understand. Cricket is massive, and the new Brian Lara stadium is a huge landmark. They had a cricket game on when I was here (Trinidad vs Jamaica) but they had sold out the tickets otherwise we would have gone.

I spent a day at the beautiful Maracas beach, located on the northern part of Trini. On the way there we stopped at the lookout and had a quick look at the food stalls. I got to try some ‘Chow’, a garlicky spicy way of preserving such things as Pineapple, apple, mango, cucumber... its yummy and not too spicy and I really appreciated the stall holder giving me a taste ( and Jas’s friend Isabelle for buying some of the pineapple one). Maracas beach is a favourite with the locals and its a thing to do to have a ‘bake and shark’ when you go to the beach. Betcha cant guess what I had... Can I say amazing (again!!) You not only get your bake (which is a deep fried Roti) You get beautiful fresh deep fried shark fillet inside it, then you go to a buffet like area and add as many of the additions as you want . Yep, of course I added a bit of EVERYTHING . I had to taste it all. Seriously that thing was amazing. BTW I do taste everything first before adding pepper sauce... pepper sauce heightens the flavours. Jas’s friend Isabelle got her son in law to give us a shout out on the radio station he worked at ( they had it playing at the beach), so ‘Karen from Australia’ is now Trini Famous... love it!!

Jasmine took me out to the Pitch lake, in La Brea, and I’ll admit, I had no idea what it was ( I thought it was a lake!!) Anyway, some how we ended up with a colourful local as our personal guide, he was You tube famous and has apparently featured on David Attenboroughs visit to the lake. I have to sit and edit my ‘documentary’ when I’m back in Australia, it’ll be awesome.. I promise. Suffice to say the lake is the most amazing tar pit. Seriously amazing tar pit. The roads leading into the area are all like travelling over mini crazy hills due to the impact of the tar movements in the area. You have to use an authorised guide on the site, which is fair enough as a wrong step could see you disappear forever into the tar... literally... Trinidads pitch lake is the largest natural deposit of asphalt in the world (estimated to hold about 10 million tonnes) Its covers about 100 acres and is about 250 feet deep. There is a cool legend involving the origin of the lake the involves a hummingbird (I like the story), Historically Walter Raleigh re-discovered the lake on his expedition there in 1595. It has that charming rotten egg smell, and the mud and sulphur water apparently have healing properties. Locals were there immersing themselves in some of the pools while we were there. As we didnt have swim suits we had to settle with getting coated in the mud on our legs, and for me, also my face...lol!!! I didnt get a chance to put it on myself, out guide was very keen to smear it all over my face... (and shirt and hair.. etc...). Rinsing it, after it had set, was a whole other process involving splashing what looked Iike green water all over my face (and legs), all I wanted to do was rinse my face with some fresh water afterwards - and it took over an hour or so until I finally got somewhere to do it. Let’s not talk about how much scrubbing it required later that night to get the last bits of our skin! A great fun day though, made all the better for our colourful guide! I have had a crash course in some of the Trinidadian slang/words and between that and their accents I am sometimes lost in a conversation... (definitely accents particularly when you are trying to enter the country and the border control guy is talking to you and you have to continually say, sorry what??? ) I’m a lot better now!!

Jas couldn’t make it over to Tobago as she had work scheduled at her house that she needed to be around for. So I decided to head over for a night, hire a car, and see what I could see. Its literally a 20 min flight over (only costs about 50 US return) FYI 24 hrs isn’t really enough to see everything. I didnt get to the water fall or national park. I had headed down to Store bay beach when I first arrived with instructions to try the curry crab, conch and dumplings in Tobago (its their local specialty, amongst a few other things). Have to say I liked the conch, crab was over cooked and dry, and dumplings were kind of chewy. The ‘provisions’ that I got with it were really nice though - Plantain, Potato, green banana, avocado ..I would have liked to have tried another outlet to give a second opinion, but didnt have the time. I did get to the beautiful Pigeon Park, a natural reserve area, filled with some shops, water sports hire, beautiful beaches and glorious spot to watch the sunset. I also got out to the Fort of King George in Scarborough hiking up the giant hill to take in the glorious views. Hilariously there was a traffic hold up on my way there due to some goats being herded along the road. Island time boy. I would have to say, as much as its a part of the one country, Tobago island is completely different to Trinidad. Its a lot more touristy for a start, it has more servicible beaches. The roads are not as pot holed as Trinidad. The people are still lovely, but you get the tourist scouters who are looking to sell you on anything they can. Its a beautiful place and I’m so glad I got to go across and visit. As always, I can always go back!

My time in the Caribbean has come to a close. (9-16 Oct). What an adventure. I have had a fabulous time, and recommend to anyone to come here and see this place, taste the food and meet the people for themselves. The country has their own issues with government corruption which impacts the improvement of infrastructure like roads etc. And there are warnings around safety as there are elements involved in crime that impact locals and tourists alike. This just makes Trinidad Tobago, not unlike a lot of other countries that I have visited on my adventures. It just means the more prepared you are to be open to new things, different ways of doing things, different cultures. The more you are aware of your own safety, and that of your belongings , the more you can avoid crime. Crime can impact you anywhere in the world, countries like this dont have it any more or less than others, it just seems to be in the media more....

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

PSA- How It All Went Down On February 10th

Today is the one year anniversary of when I got into Def Leppard, and how everything on this blog came to be becuase of today. Below is the entire story of how I came across Leppard, and how this blog came about. 

Happy one year!

Let me get one thing clear- I definitely grew up on Def Leppard in one way or another.

My dad’s been a huge fan since ‘83, so of course, I heard their music growing up. However, I didn’t exactly know it was them that I was hearing- I just always heard their name from my dad. I kept my own taste in music, and never paid attention to them (since I didn’t exactly know who they were).

So, the road to my current state of Leppard-loving actually began at the beginning of my sophomore year (fall 2016). For some reason I "rediscovered" Sugar (as in I never knew the title or the artist of it but always heard it as a kid) and started listening to it a lot. A lot.

During my sophomore year, I transitioned my music taste into classic rock. I don’t remember how this happened, but it was for the best.

 At the end of my sophomore year, I "rediscovered" Animal (same scenario) and started listening to it a lot, but never listened to any other song by them voluntarily. 

In the summer following this (summer 2017), whenever we burned a fire on our deck, we would always play Weird Al/ Electric Amish (stuff like that) when we were out there late at night. Eventually, one night in July, I was out of ideas of what to play so I asked my dad (a huge DL fan) what I should put on and of course he simply says "Def Leppard." I asked him what song and said to just pick one, so I thought, “oh god I don't really know any of their songs and I don’t know what he likes, what should I pick? Okay, I’ll pick one I don’t know. Let's just pick the first one that comes up that I don't know" and it just so happens that that one was Hysteria, and I put it on and immediately my dad goes "Ahh.. you had to pick this one...” and tilts his head back, looking up at the sky.

He then told me the story of the first time it was played for the rest of the band (which isn’t 100% true, but this is just what he knew) he said that one of the guitarists (it was actually Phil and Sav) played what they had so far for the rest of the band around a campfire like we were doing (which turned out to be some of Sav and Phil's Irish friends).

But it felt really cool being out there with this song playing, and it was the first time I had ever heard it, too. Hysteria was my favorite song within a week. But, still, I could probably only name 3 or 4 DL songs at this point (I apparently did know more, but none by name). Those 3 or 4 DL songs kinda defined that summer for me, funny enough.

October of 2017: I don't exactly know how it happened, (I think I heard it on the radio) but I rediscovered Photograph (I actually knew this one by name) and became OBSESSED WITH IT FOR ALL OF NOVEMBER. Making music videos in my head, writing it into my NaNoWriMo novel, listening to it whenever I could, just wow- I love it. That's when it became my favorite song of all time (and it still is- tied with Hysteria).

It's January of 2018 now, and I'm still cooing over Photograph and Sugar and Hysteria and Animal, then January 14th, 2018 comes around- I almost meet Rick by accident, then a week or so later I'm watching the Metal Mayhem block on MTVC...

A video ends, it fades to black, and then suddenly I hear that "pck......" pluck of a string that echoes away and my heart jumps- “IT'S PHOTOGRAPH OHMYGODOHMYGOD...!!” 

It occurred to me right then and there that I had never seen the music video before (or even considered that there may have been one)

It had ALSO occurred to me that I had never once actually looked at a picture of the band. I'd never seen their faces. 

So I’ve got a favorite song I’ve been obsessed with for a solid two months, I discover its music video, and look at the band who sings it for the first time- and who starts singing my absolute favorite song of all time but an absolutely daSHING young man in a Union Jack tank top and a white scarf.

And then he hit me out of nowhere and I actually said to myself "God... the lead singer's actually kinda cute... like... really cute..." followed by an "oh no" shortly after because I knew I'd eventually fall madly in love with this simply adorable man who sings my favorite song, and I’d remember that that is what started it all (but that's not what started it all. It was simply an “I’ve been down this road before and this is typically how it starts.” I was more shocked than anything that my dad’s favorite band had a pretty cute lead singer- like how was that possible?) I was now, however, teetering on the edge of falling into an obsession... anything could set me off. 

And it finally did- on February 10th, 2018. My dad was taking me to a drama club rehearsal, and Bringin On the Heartbreak came on the radio. My dad turned it up and went "Yes! Old Leppard!" and at the chorus I went "WHAT'S THIS SONG CALLED I THINK I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE"

It was just the chorus I remembered, not exact words, but it just sounded all familiar, the melody of their forces, the screaming of the words, I'm pretty sure I heard it a really long time ago. And thus, it had begun. I went home, I found it on our iCloud and downloaded it.

Then I remembered my dad saying something when he was drunk about how "I nEED ROCK. LIKE ROCK. I'M TALKING LIKE- PYROMANIA. TWICE."

So I thought "I really really like a small handfull of Def Leppard’s songs. I think I should listen to them more. I'll listen to Pyromania- twice." (I’d heard of the album beforehand but never listened to it- or had I?). So I did one day. I listened to it. Twice. And BOOM; there were at least 4 songs on there right off the bat I most definitely recognized. Turns out I did know a ton of songs by Def Leppard- I just didn’t know it was them.

And of course I looked into them a bit more, hearing about all their popular stuff, listening to all of Hysteria, FINALLY looking up that handsome son of a bitch's name (Joe), finding out that one of the main composers of my favorite song went and died before I was born (Steve), and finding their more popular songs, and listening to all albums soon enough. 

I kept going back to tumblr to find pics of them and such, but there weren’t a lot. There wasn’t much on here at all about them. Whatever I did find, though, I reblogged. I was straight up obsessed within days. That week was crazy for my old tumblr. 

However, at the end of the week, on Feb 18th, only a week after it all began, I accidentally deleted my tumblr account (long story, don’t ask). I was honestly devastated because I had it for almost 4 years and all that history was now gone in the blink of an eye. Within the hour, I restarted and created a new tumblr account. I was lost on here and didn’t know where to begin, or get back on my feet. For one thing, I got my old url back ( @mccoys-killer-queen ) and immediately made my background the same pic of the guys as it was before to kind of trick myself into thinking nothing had changed.

I was wrong, and that was a good thing.

I got back into a fresh new blog, and started going around to people and asking them to spread the word on what happened and to hopefully get most of my followers back.

To this day I don’t remember all of them, and that’s been a good thing so far.

While I was doing this, I started talking to @raised-on-radio (whom I had only become mutuals with about a week earlier), 

“thinking about legit starting a def leppard blog tho” I said in the tags of a post I reblogged. She sent it back to me saying that I totally should (thanks, by the way!). And while I wasn’t totally serious about it at the time, I thanked her for the support so early on.

The next day- literally- the next day (Feb 19th), I messaged her and said that I couldn’t help myself, and made a DL blog (you’re looking at it right now). I’d never had a sideblog before, but within a week, I really enjoyed it (and obviously, I still do). Upon looking at this dead/sleeping fandom on tumblr, I realized right away it needed some sort of revival- to become like other fandoms in the modern day. There was no fanfic (on tumblr at least), there were no memes (oh heLL NO there was not), there wasn’t much circulation of posts, and it just felt dead- which I KNEW it wasn’t. It was very far from it.

Over the next month or so, it seemed now that I was involved with the fandom, it was starting to awaken in some ways. There were people actually posting content, more people were making blogs, memes got involved (I’m taking the credit for that, lmao, it seemed no one else posted memes except me and @stupidpicturesofdefleppard ). I don’t want to say I caused this awakening, but it just seems that it happened around the time I got involved with everything. A divine coincidence.

The year that followed was amazing in so many different ways. In a year, I went from not even looking at a photo of the guys and not even knowing their names, to interacting/having one of them and their official twitter interact with me on Twitter a few times, to meeting one of them in person (and putting my arm around him and having him call me ‘darling’), to having a year long obsession that’s still going strong, to knowing much more songs by them than any other artist, to knowing more facts and history about them than anything else, to being able to recognize them if given the slightest detail, and to being absolutely in love with every member and everything Def Leppard has done (not in that order!)

One year later, here we are! The past 365 days since I first heard Bringin’ On The Heartbreak in my dad’s car has been one hell of a story that’s taken me months to completely type out, and I can’t thank everyone enough for somehow making me gain 364 followers in the past year for something I never thought would get off the ground! If I told myself a year ago that I’d be where I am now, I don’t know what I’d think of it. I’d think it absolutely crazy- which it is!

But I wouldn’t change a thing about the last 365 days, that’s for damn sure. 

Rock on, guys!

[maknaesdancersrappers]

*rips straw packet off*

*jams straw into overpriced iced drink*

*loudly sips*

*smacks lips* aAaHhHhhhh

heres *taps camera once* the motherfucking *twice* tea *thrice*

so if y’all dont know (or do) it’s been a year since ive passed my thesis and graduated buT some shit went down while doing my thesis project

~for context~

so first off, in my college and course, you’re allowed to work on your thesis alone or with a partner or a group of three. Before going into senior year, my friend (lets call her 🐨) and i already agreed working together; and i already came up with an idea and the name of the final output so we were basically ready but one of our friends (⚫️) in our lil group of 4 was alone bc the other one (🍋) was held back a sem so she cant take thesis class yet. Since we were all buddy buddy back then, we adopted ⚫️ into the group. The first sem was fine-ish, i didnt really notice anythinh wrong. During the first defense, ⚫️ did her report a lil poorly (like, relied on her notecards, spoke softly) and never answered the panelists questions.

When the second semester came around, thats when shit hits the fan because ⚫️ started to do poorly in school? Like she was absent frequently, relied on people to tell her what needed to be done. And basically, she didn’t help much with writing the thesis as well—at this point, im still not seeing it as something entirely bad? I mean, i was annoyed but i kept giving her the benefit of the doubt because I know she’s sickly, she’s depressed, and she has anxiety attacks. During interviews we needed to conduct, she couldn’t go if its past 3 bc her parents are strict; she’s almost, ALWAYS offline ON WEEKENDS but is online like the night before a class she knows she has homeworks or reports on. She doesn’t work on her own, like, we have to tell her what to do and when we’re looking for suppliers and people to interview, she never contributed.

But anyways, 🐨 sent a very snarky message about giving more effort and input into the thesis did I start turning on ⚫️ because I felt like I was being dragged into her laziness but lmao when i read 🐨’s message i was hurt af like i claimed that shit and i started confiding to another classmate,🍜, telling her “icb 🐨 is saying i dont do shit, i made a damn PowerPoint for us while i was sick with a damn fever” and 🍜 was like “what? No!! That was for ⚫️. 🐨 has been bitching about her and how she felt bad for you bc u were sick but were doing shit ⚫️ was supposed to do” and true enough, later that night 🍜 told me, 🐨 messages me about ⚫️ and this basically made me realize everything about her. So we started talking to multiple profs about it—our dept chairperson/thesis coordinator(🦏), our thesis adviser, and this one prof we treat as our mom for advice on what we can do. They’re all like, then tell her you have to separate ways bc she’s dragging us down and getting literally a free ride to graduation if we keep letting her do this.

I dont know what drove me to go to our guidance counselor during our thesis class (so we’re complete here, even 🍋 was sitting in), but i told her about ⚫️ and how she says shes depressed and how shes dragging us down bc of it; she’s harmed herself before, etc. and what our counselor says just made me regret going to her bc shes telling me to keep giving her a chance and when i left the office i deadass broke down crying and I texted 🍋 to come out to the buildings little balcony and i was just crying to her about how conflicted i am (bc if u havent noticed im just too nice of a person) and 🍋 gets 🐨 out so we could all talk and debate, and mind y’all this is an open area people can see us, other classmates who were taking bathroom breaks saw us and tried to comfort me. In the end, 🍋 goes to the counselor too to tell her about ⚫️ since she’s sort of closer to her? Like ⚫️ has confided some secrets to her.

Timeskip, we eventually tell her we needed to cut her off and she has a full blown anxiety attack and starting there, our friendship is basically over. 🦏 told us that she has rights to the first three chapters of our thesis since its been passed and graded already from the first semester with her name on it, buT she needs to come up with a completely different output (like new product and name) HOWEVER she basically drops out of the sem and returned next year (this year) to finish up her remaining classes to graduate.

SO THE ACTUAL TEA:

all seniors who had their thesis have defended them early this week, including 🍋 aND ⚫️. (They’re not partners thaNk god); ⚫️ had the same thesis adviser we had from before and he posted a pic on his fb, congratulating the seniors on their defenses with ⚫️ and her panelists and 🦏, with her thesis output thaT LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE OURS. 🐨 IS FUMING AND IM TRYING TO BE LEVEL HEADED HERE BUT IM STILL JUST AS MAD BC 🦏 REPEATEDLY TOLD US ⚫️ HAS TO HAVE A DIFFERENT OUTPUT FROM US (not a book) BUT TELL ME WHY—in the picture our adviser posted—IS THERE A YELLOW BOOK IN THEIR HANDS?

Our thesis is an art therapy activity book named jitter jotter; hers, is named Doodly Doo and I’m pretty sure it’s basically STILL an activity book as well 🤔🤔🤔 i wish i could post pics, but hers is blurred out

[letswritefanfiction]

Pokémon Alphabet Challenge: R is for Return

Also: Pokéshipping week day 5.

Post SS036 and M17. Not quite canon; the characters have aged and Ash and Misty are teenagers.

“Wow, I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve been here.”

“And I can’t believe that you’re actually traveling to the same place more than once.”

Ash cast Misty a heavy dose of side-eye as they continued pushing through the throng of people, like them, just getting off the boat. “I’ll start rechallenging Leagues after I’ve gone through all of the existing ones once.”

“And lost.”

Misty couldn’t hide how pleased she was with herself as Ash nearly knocked Pikachu off his shoulder in order to look at her again. “What are you talking about?”

“You mean,” Misty clarified, looking at Pikachu apologetically, “you’ll start rechallenging—which I don’t think is a word, by the way—after you’ve lost all the existing ones once.”

“Hey!” Ash cried out, still fresh off his loss at the Kalos League. “I…I won the Orange League!”

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” Brock said, pressing past people in order to sidle up between the two of them. “I find it suspicious that the one League Ash supposedly won is one of the few I wasn’t there for. And it wasn’t televised.”

“Okay, no, Brock; I will testify that not only did he win, but there is a concrete cast of his Pokémon’s footprints in a hall of fame. When Ash decides to revisit a place again—in another five years—we can go and see the proof.” While the boys stared in confusion at Misty’s sudden defense of Ash, she continued, “I’m just shocked that you’re even talking to us, Brock. Last time we were here, you were freaking out about girls.”

Brock blushed. “I was at a very insecure point in my life there, and I’d like to think that I’ve grown beyond, er…”

“Openly weeping every time bathing suit season is over?” Ash completed for him.

“Uh, yes,” Brock said, scratching the side of his nose. “And, considering how things went last time we were here, I’ve decided to keep Croagunk here in case things get…out of hand.”

“Oh, really?” Misty asked. “Where’s his PokéBall?”

Brock stared at Misty, confused as to why she would challenge him on that. Nevertheless, he pulled Croagunk’s PokéBall off his ‘Belt and showed it to her. He only had it in his palm for a moment before Misty pressed the button on the ‘Ball and released the Pokémon into the mass of people. As the Pokémon materialized, Misty bent over him to ensure that he wasn’t stepped on by any of the many passersby.

“It’s preemptive,” Misty explained when she righted herself, Brock’s bemusement toward her only deepenening. “Just because things got so out of control last time.”

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad!”

Ash and Misty both scoffed.

“Brock. You literally started to float away,” Ash reasoned.

A pause and then: “…Yeah, okay.”

“Hey!”

The trio stood on their tiptoes to see over the forest of people to the familiar, nasal voice yelling at them. Fortunately, Gary Oak’s spiked hair added enough height to his already tall frame that he wasn’t hard to spot.

“If Gramps is this far ahead of you, then you know you’re dilly-dallying. Shake a leg, guys!”

Misty looked around, tumbling into Brock a bit as someone knocked into her backpack, throwing her weight to the side. “I don’t know how were supposed to push through this crowd to catch up. Why did we have to come on the day of the maiden’s festival again? I mean, weren’t you run over the last time we were here?” Misty asked of Brock.

Pikachu nodded that he remembered, answering with an earnest “Chuu.”

“We’re here for the maiden’s festival,” Brock reminded, “because Ash told the Oaks that we’d seen a talking, shape-shifting Gastly last time we were here.”

By this point, the trio—plus Pikachu and Croagunk—managed to push onto the main boulevard for the street fair, new smells of popcorn stands and cotton candy overtaking the briny smell of the water and the boat.

“Oh man, can we get some food?” Ash asked, beginning to salivate. They’d taken a boat straight from Pallet Town earlier that morning to the small port village where the annual festival was held. It was now late afternoon, and Ash’s stomach was reminding him that he hadn’t had a full meal since breakfast.

“Later,” Gary said, hearing that particular request as the trio finally caught up to him and the professor. “Right now, we wanna see that statue before it gets dark.”

The walk through the entirety of the street fair without being able to stop at one of the pop up tents was torturous. Especially since the truth was that this was a ‘summer’s end festival’ and the sun wouldn’t set for a few more hours, despite Gary’s worries. But the group managed to make their way up the hill—slowly, to account for Professor Oak—and over to the familiar statue of the maiden on the cliff. Fortunately, it seemed as though the rest of the revelers must have been waiting for the presentation of the painting before making the hike, as there was no one else on the cliff for the moment.

The maiden didn’t become visible until you got right up to the railing, separating tourists from the waves below. She was hidden behind the cabin that Misty and Ash had found Brock and James in all those years ago.

“Fascinating,” Professor Oak said once the maiden came into sight. “It’s perfectly preserved.”

“Somehow it’s remained while the rest of the cliff has been eroding away,” Gary agreed. “Totally untouched by the weather and the sea.”

Professor Oak and Gary went right up to the railing, looking up at the beautiful structure of the maiden in the sea. Misty and Ash, however, couldn’t be bothered to give it more than just a cursory look—they’d seen more than enough of the maiden the last time they were here. Misty, at least, was content enough to lean over the railing and look down at the sea, taking in the sound of it crashing against their cliff-side and the maiden’s pillar.

“That’s exactly what Professor Sycamore’s photos showed us of the Kalosian maiden. He suggested that perhaps the stone had some sort of staying power that natural rocks do not contain.”

“It’s possible,” Brock added. “Rock Pokémon can live underground or in mountains, grinding their bodies against other stones and never change in size. Perhaps it’s the same phenomenon.”

“Perhaps…” Oak intoned as he stroked the silver stubble on his chin. “Do we know how old is this statue said to be?”

“Two-thousand years,” Brock answered quickly. Ash and Misty sent him a look—neither of them had remembered the number. Apparently, it had been engraved in Brock’s memory, a reminder of the tragic distance between him and the lavender-haired maiden.

“Did Professor Sycamore have any idea how old the maiden statue in Kalos was, Gramps?”

Ah yes, that was how this whole adventure started. Professor Oak, as well as other renowned Pokémon professors, had recently attended a symposium at which Professor Sycamore and Alexa had spoken about the recent discovery of a maiden statue, about which a legend had been circulating in Kalos for centuries, at least.

“They’re not sure,” Professor Oak answered simply. “Since the statue was moved, they can’t accurately date what’s around it to estimate her age, and they’re hesitant to take samples from the statue itself at this time.”

“What information do they have?” Brock asked.

Brock and Misty hadn’t been present for the conversation that Ash had with the Oaks. Ash had just recently returned from Kalos and Delia had invited the Oaks—and Tracey—over for dinner when talk of the symposium had come up. And, well, now here they were.

“It seems that maiden was turned to stone by the Legendary Pokémon Yveltal many years ago.” Oak gazed at the different maiden in front of them, so beautifully frozen for eternity, waiting for her love. “I wonder if that’s what could have happened to this poor soul.”

“Would Yveltal even come to the Kanto region?” Misty asked.

“It’s impossible to say,” Oak replied. “Theoretically, the aura trio—Xerneas, Yveltal, and Zygarde, that is—are supposed to keep the balance in Kalos. But there have been many recent sightings of Zygarde Cells in the Alola region, so perhaps they go wherever they are needed.”

“If a war was being fought here like the legend says, maybe they felt things were out of balance and came to fix it,” Brock suggested.

Professor Oak nodded. “Might be.”

“They say that when Yveltal reaches the end of its lifespan, it takes the life energy of everything around it and sleeps for one thousand years,” Gary quoted. “If we knew the age of the Kalosian maiden, then we could see if the numbers line up.”

“They do!” Ash suddenly piped up. “My friends and I met Yveltal not too long ago. He almost turned Pikachu to stone! Right, buddy?”

Pikachu nodded his head reluctantly, hardly seeming as excited by the memory as Ash was.

It was at that moment that Misty spotted Brock starting to edge closer to the edge of the cliff in the direction of the stone maiden. With a strong eye roll, she was all ready to grab his ear and keep him from falling over the railing into the gulf—and taking Gary, who was still trying to get a closer look at the statue for research purposes—with him.

However, it turned out not to be necessary, as Croagunk came it at just that moment with a right hook, knocking Brock back and into a tree.

“Yup, okay, thanks, Croagunk” Brock groaned as he clutched his abdomen. Croagunk folded his arms and nodded approvingly.

Gary and Professor Oak looked back in shock, but Ash couldn’t be bothered, now having to pacify Pikachu, who was quite offended by the callousness with which Ash had spoken of one of his deaths.

“You’re not supposed to be in love with her!” Misty reminded Brock, who was crawling back towards the group. “Gary is.”

Gary ran his fingers through his hair, mussing up the spikes in front. “Oh, right,” he said, not sounding at all enthused.

“Why is that again?” Ash asked as he scrounged through his backpack, presumably looking for a treat for Pikachu.

“Because that’s the best way for us to meet that Gastly again, Ash.”

“This is completely unprecedented,” Professor Oak exclaimed, repeating some of what Ash had heard over dinner when he’d brought up the talking Gastly the first time. “A Gastly that talks, shapeshifts, and seems to have monetary interests. Why, it reminds me of that talking Meowth friend of yours, Ash.”

Ash frowned. “We’re not friends.”

Oak was unfazed. “I mean, it’s not surprising for a Psychic Type to communicate via telepathy and sometimes Ghost Types show similar traits, but if it does what you say and actually speaks…”

“You know, Professor,” Brock interrupted, “we should probably be making our way over to the shrine. They’ll probably be showing the portrait soon.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Professor Oak said. “Gary, are you prepared for your role?”

Gary shook his head at the thought of having to be lovesick over an ancient painting but said, “As ever,” and the three of them started hiking over to the shrine.

Meanwhile, Ash—who had no intention of seeing the painting again, no matter how magnificent it was—looked over at Misty and said. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Street food?” Misty asked hopefully.

Ash pumped his fist in victory, he and Pikachu giving a little whoop as they imagined all the different fried foods that were just a few dollars away from them. “Brock!” he called out. “Me and Misty are getting some food! We’ll meet ya up here later!”

“Don’t return Croagunk for a second!” Misty added.

Without waiting for a response, the two of them began to race down the hill with Pikachu hanging onto Ash’s shoulder for dear life.

“What do you think Gary’s doing right now?” Ash asked, laughing and trying not to choke on his snowcone.

“I think,” Misty began, taking a nibble from of her own cone, “that he is crawling on all fours toward the painting, and,” she held up a finger to the air, “Croagunk is presently having to jab Brock to keep him from doing the same.”

Ash held his cone up to Pikachu to allow the Electric mouse a lick. “Hah, I be you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” Misty replied with a condescending look and a flick of Ash’s nose. “I always am.”

“Sure, Mist,” Ash said with an exaggerated eye roll.

The two of them walked down the concrete path, stopping at any stand that caught their fancy. Ash wanted to look at all of the Pokémon-related products and Misty liked all the cutesy collectibles. But they both stopped for food. Any time they ran out of something edible in their hands, they stopped at the nearest stand and tried something new. They’d already had lemonade, kettle corn, kabobs, and cotton candy, and then more kabobs because Ash “Growing Boy” Ketchum said that he needed to make up for the lunch he had missed.

Misty took a couple thoughtful licks of her snowcone before asking, “Do you really think that Yveltal turned the maiden to stone?”

Ash didn’t answer for a moment, taking care to scratch Pikachu behind the ears when he tensed at the mention of Yveltal. “I don’t know. I mean, what are the changes that it’d only hit that one girl?”

Misty shrugged. “Maybe it hit more but they’re at the bottom of the gulf now.”

“Maybe…” Ash agreed. “Or maybe it didn’t want to hit anything and it was trying to get as far from the land as possible and the maiden was the only one it still hit.”

“Hmm, hard to imagine a destruction Pokémon being so magnanimous, though.”

“I don’t know,” Ash shrugged. “It did some of the worst things I’ve ever seen a Pokémon do, but I still like to think the best of it. It probably had a reason for doing what it did, right Pikachu?”

It took a moment, but eventually Pikachu smiled and nodded his head, squeaking out a little, “Cha.”

Misty shook her head and smiled, feeling warm in the face despite the ice that she was currently snacking on. That was such an Ash way to look at it.

They continued to lick their snowcones until their paper cups were filled with nothing but syrupy liquid in colors that had stained their lips and tongues. They’d checked out most of the stands and had circled almost all the way back to the trees. Some stands had already packed up, knowing that the height of their sales had been earlier in the day and wanting to restock their inventory in time for tomorrow. The street was less full of people, but there were still kids running around, musicians playing, strangers meeting. But now you could speak quietly and expect to be heard.

Ash and Misty found a trashcan, dropping their cones in and searching for their next treats. They soon spotted a spicy noodle stand and that was that.

“I’ve missed this, you know,” Misty said once they had sat down on a curb, realizing that noodles weren’t a great food to walk with. The concrete poked at her bare thighs, but was cooler than expected and felt nice nevertheless. “Traveling with you and Brock. Actually, traveling at all, I guess.”

“Well, I’ve been traveling a lot,” Ash said, not bothering to avoid speaking through a mouthful of noodles. By this point, he and Misty had no façade of manners with each other. “But, I don’t know. I didn’t expect it, but there’s something really nice about traveling through a familiar place with familiar people. But still on a new adventure.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to know that you can spend so much apart and then come back and find that nothing’s changed.” Misty turned away from Ash with a slight blush and looked back to her noodles. “Even things that you thought maybe had.”

“Aw, Mist,” Ash said, patting her on the back. “Nothing could ever change between you and me! We’ll always be best friends!”

Misty smiled ignoring how her face continued to grow redder. She’d blame it on the heat o the noodles. “You’re so right, Ash.”

At that moment, Ash looked up and noticed the cotton candy clouds in the sky. “Oops, the sun is setting. We’d better get back to the shrine before we miss Gastly!”

Devotedly, Ash shoved the rest of his noodles into his mouth and Misty did the same, neither one of them able to bear the thought of wasting food. On their way back, they made sure to get another bag of kettle corn for Brock and the others—Misty got a little Pokémon treat that Pikachu had liked for Croagunk. As nice as it was just to hang out, they knew it was back to the task at hand.

Using Gary as bait for that dang Gastly.

When Ash and Misty made it back to the shrine—much slower than the first time, as both of them had huge and terrible combinations of food in their stomachs—they found Brock and Professor Oak, but no sign of Gary.

“Don’t tell me he chickened out,” was the first thing Ash said after bestowing his friend and mentor with their kettle corn.

“He’s sitting by the statue,” Brock explained as he ripped open the plastic containing the sweet popcorn. “Just like I did. We figured it would be the best way to show that he was committed to his infatuation with her. There were a couple other guys there as well, but we thought we’d just leave them be.”

“Probably for the best,” Misty said after feeding Croagunk his treat. “You were insufferable to deal with in that state.”

“Hey!” Brock shouted, clutching his wounded heart. “I was not…! Yeah, okay.”

Misty nodded, casting a glance at Ash. “See? Always right.”

“When should we expect the Gastly to appear?” Professor Oak asked.

“It was pretty late last time,” Brock said. “If I recall, I saw the ghost of the maiden maybe close to midnight.”

“Then what would be the most productive thing to do in the meantime?”

Ash could barely hold back a snigger as he suggested, “Make fun of Gary as he’s stuck sitting there for the next few hours?”

“Ash,” Professor Oak chastised.

Ash cleared his throat. “Sorry, Professor.”

“We should go to the cabin and figure out a way to surreptitiously keep watch,” Brock said, completely ignoring Ash’s shenanigans. “Maybe try and get to sleep early in shifts so that we won’t be exhausted come midnight.”

“That’s a good idea,” Oak agreed.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay doing that?” Misty asked Brock sardonically. “Being that close to the statue and all?”

“Of course,” Brock answered reasonably. “After all, Croagunk will be here.”

It was nearly pitch black when Misty felt herself being shaken awake by gloved palms and calloused fingers. She yawned and asked: “Is the ghost here?”

“No,” came a raspy whisper. “I’m getting tired and you have to help me stay awake!”

Misty rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and glared at Ash. “And why couldn’t one of your Pokémon do that?”

“Well,” Ash reasoned, “Pikachu needs to sleep and I thought the light from a PokéBall might wake everyone up.”

“So you thought you’d just wake me up.”

Ash grinned. “Yeah!”

“Okay, well keep your eyes on the window, hot shot. I wouldn’t want you to claim that you missed the ghost because I distracted you.”

“Alright, alright,” Ash said, shifting his body back towards the window.

The cabin actually provided a really beautiful view. It was fully dark outside, with no streetlights, but the moon and the stars were bright, reflecting off the gulf and casting the whole evening in a gauzy silver film. Then it broke into shades of gold in the distance, where there were still lanterns lit by the port and the long boulevard where there were only cadaverous remains of the street fair. The sea was visible in the distance, but up close there were just woods and the sheer edge of the cliff into nothingness. They could easily see Gary—who was still awake, God bless him—and the other men, but the statue was out of sight by this window.

“I’m glad the festival goes on for a few days,” Ash stated abruptly.

“Hmm? Why’s that?”

Ash shrugged. “I get to hang out with you guys longer.”

Misty laughed a little. “You know, Ash, you could visit us sometime. You don’t need ghost hunting as an excuse to see your friends.”

Ash’s cheeks turned a little ruddy, either with embarrassment or guilt. Maybe both. It faded quickly, however, and then he came back with, “You guys could visit me too, you know! You’ve done it before!”

Misty raised her brows at the challenge. She hadn’t expected that one to come back and bite her in the butt. “Okay, sure, Ash. Next time you choose a region that’s a little closer than Kalos or Unova, I might think about visiting you.”

“You seem to forget that some people have Gym’s to keep,” came a tired voice from a few feet away. Ash and Misty looked at each other with wide eyes. Neither of them ever had been very good at keeping their voices down.

“Well, at least we didn’t wake Professor Oak up,” Misty said with a shrug. “Or, God forbid, Pikachu.”

At the sound of his name, the Electric Type rolled over and let out a sigh, but remained asleep. In the meantime, Brock crawled over to the window, joining his two companions.

“You don’t have a Gym anymore, Brock,” Ash reasoned.

Brock bowed his head in acquiescence, “No, but I do have classes to take. I’m still training to be a doctor, remember?”

“I remember,” Ash came back with indignantly.

“Guys, guys,” Misty hissed, pointing to the window. “Is that her?”

Well, it must have been, because like a blast from the past, Brock’s face immediately went slack.

“C’mon, let’s go!” Ash called, this time trying to wake up Pikachu and Professor Oak as he ran out of the cabin.

Misty followed behind him, calling out, “Croagunk, you know what to do!”

Neither of them turned back when they heard a thud followed by Brock’s whimper.

Once they stepped outside, Ash enlarged a PokéBall that he’d just gotten from Professor Oak the day before. He called out, “Noctowl! Use Foresight!”

The maiden was indeed before them. Her ghost was sheer lilac, hovering a foot or so off the ground. The three men, including Gary, began crawling toward her, zombie-like expressions on their lovesick faces. But as Noctowl’s eyes began to glow, sending a maroon cast over the night, and the maiden’s form began to change. The lilac bloomed, losing its womanly shape and becoming an amorphous gas, while the center formed a large, black sphere, fanged and looking confused.

“What’s going on?” it asked, looking around confused at the men who had all recoiled back in shock.

“It does speak!” Gary cried as he scrambled begin filming the encounter. He tried to push himself to his feet, but after sitting for so many hours, his legs were asleep and wobbly.

By that time, the Gastly had turned around and seen Ash’s Noctowl, and his gaze fell to Ash and Misty. “Oh, you again. Come back for more?”

Pikachu ran out of the cabin, Brock, Professor Oak, and Croagunk following behind. “Pikachu!” the mouse called out as he leapt onto Ash’s shoulder.

“Ah, yes,” Gastly sighed, almost seeming bored. “I remember this working out quite well last time.”

With a pop, Gastly abruptly turned into a mousetrap, and headed right for Ash and Pikachu.

“Nice try, Gastly, but we’re not beginners this time!” Ash shouted out. “Thunderbolt!”

Fearlessly, Pikachu jumped off of Ash’s shoulder in the direction of the mousetrap and shot off a bolt of electricity, illuminating the night. Everyone looked away momentarily as the attack burned their retinas, turning back to find Gastly in its ordinary shape again, shaking off the hit.

“Strong attack,” Gastly groaned, the purple gas around him popping and sizzling with leftover electricity. He backed away, eyes widened when he saw Ash and Pikachu staring up at it, ready to go another round. “Hey, hey, what’s the big idea? I’m just trying to carry out a tradition. Is that so wrong?”

“I’ll take it from here, Ash,” Professor Oak said, stepping in front of him and Pikachu. “Gastly, have you always known how to speak, did you teach yourself, or are you using some sort of telepathy right now?”

Gastly’s head lolled to the side within his purple cloud, eyes tilted and mouth pulled down as all he could say was, “Huh?”

“Well, I’m glad Professor Oak and Gary got all that they needed out of that Gastly,” Ash said as he and Brock walked up to the festival clearing.

“Yeah, it seemed a lot more willing to cooperate once they offered it some cash.”

The two of them had changed into kimonos, new ones, as they had long outgrown the ones they’d worn last time they were there. To be honest, Ash didn’t enjoy walking around in the traditional sandals, but he didn’t mind the kimono. It was nice to get dressed up sometimes. Just so long as he didn’t have to do it all the time. Although, Pikachu didn’t seem to be much of a fan. Ash felt his claws digging into his shoulder to try and maintain purchase on the slick fabric. Eventually, Pikachu just gave up and walked beside him.

When they got to the clearing, they looked up at the structure where the musicians were playing and more people were dancing. Brock, having missed this part of the festival last time he was there, gasped at the tower. Lanterns were strung all around it and, of course, there were beautiful girls dancing all around.

“Hey, there’s Gary!” Ash pointed off to the side where Gary was approaching a girl dressed in shiny plum colored kimono. He bowed and took the girl’s hand, and the two of them went off to dance.

Brock was shaken.

“H-How did he do that so easily?” Brock cried, jealousy spilling out of him. “Gary!”

Abruptly, Brock ran off, presumably to accost Gary and his new lady friend, leaving Ash alone. But not for long.

“Sorry I’m late!”

Ash felt a flash of déjà vu as he turned around and saw Misty dressed in a furisode, her hair down and fan in hand. The furisode was ornate, being mostly navy blue but hosting a whole illustration of an ocean along the skirt and the long sleeves. And while her hair was still bobbed, it looked…different.

Misty blushed, looking down at her get up. “I’m just so used to it taking only a minute to get ready that I always seem to underestimate how long it’ll take when I’m dressing up. I know it’s a little much, but my sisters insisted I get this one and Violet just taught me how to curl my hai…what?” She hesitantly touched the little ringlets of her hair. “Does it look that weird?”

“Misty…do you wanna dance?”

All confusion immediately fell off of Misty’s face as she lit up at the suggestion. “Of course! You don’t mind, do you, Pikachu?”

Misty looked down to check with him, but he only shook his head and bounded towards the tower to dance without them. Laughing, Ash and Misty followed in that direction and began to dance. Ash remembered struggling so much with dancing back in Kalos that he was relieved when he was able to easily fall back into the traditional Kantoan steps.

“You know,” Ash began, “I never told you, but you looked really nice last time we were here.”

Misty ducked her head, shrouding her face in her hair, glad Ash didn’t have to look right at her for this style of dance. “Oh, uh, thanks, Ash.”

“And, erm, you look really nice tonight too.”

“Don’t tell my sisters that,” Misty responded with a laugh. “They’ll wanna play dress up with me all the time.”

Ash laughed in kind and said, “You got it.”

There was a beat of silence between the two of them barely breaking through the revelry before Misty said quietly, “You look good too, Ash.”

“Thanks, Mist.”

And it was true. In the time since she had last seen him, Ash had grown quite a bit. It was almost as though he had stretched out, leaner now than she’d ever seen him. He’d always been kind of a squat little kid, not fat, just kind of stout. But now…

Misty swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “You’re welcome.”

And then they just danced. They could have talked about the adventure they just had, the chances that Brock was being shot down by a girl at right that moment, or they could have said that they had missed each other. Not because the other didn’t know, but just to say it out loud.

But they didn’t. And…that was kind of their style.

Some point after they had fallen into a good rhythm, sweating a little and really having fun, Brock came running up to them huffing as he doubled over.

“Okay,” Brock wheezed once he got his breath under him. “Not only did Gary ask a beautiful girl to dance and get her to say yes, but even Professor Oak is dancing with someone!”

“And we are too, so I guess that leaves you all on your lonesome,” Misty said without an ounce of sympathy.

Ash held back his laughter, instead saying, “I thought you were gonna ask Gary for tips?”

Brock pouted, growling, “He only said to just go up and ask them.”

“Worked for me,” Ash said with a shrug, gesturing to Misty. “Did you give it a try?”

That question sent daggers Ash’s way before Brock withered and gave a pathetic, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay,” Misty said, cutting between them. “I’ll dance with you Brock, and you’ll be so charming that every woman at this festival will be waiting their turn to line up after me, okay?”

Brock hung his head, defeated at the idea of his first dance being out of pity, but took her hand and led her to a new spot. Ash called after them, “Hey, make sure to give me my partner back, Brock!”

A smile tore across Misty’s face at that. She was his partner. As Misty danced with Brock, she watched out of the corner of her eye as Ash patiently waited, not bothering to find another partner in the interim, even though he surely could have gotten one. No, he just found Pikachu and picked him up, stroking him as he waited for her to come back to him. And it set Misty thinking that maybe Ash had been wrong the day before. Maybe things could change between them.

Maybe they already had.