#literally woke up 3 hours earlier than my alarm clock because this was rotting my brain and i had to write it down somewhere.

[bananamosity]

My season 3 prediction:

Crowley goes into hiding. Nobody can figure out where he went. Aziraphale gives up looking for him (after a very long and exhaustive search that consumed all of his attention for far too long), but it's too late. While he was distracted, the second coming already began and heaven and hell are preparing for war. Aziraphale reluctantly (and finding nothing left to lose) assumes his rank on the front lines of the heavenly host. When the two armies are head to head and the battle about to begin, the new incarnation of christ(which, I think it would be amazing if they were femme-presenting) steps between them. She begs for them to back away and leave the earth in peace. Aziraphale seems touched by her kindness and optimism. He backs down almost immediately, but something innocuous happens and an arrow is released, or someone sneezes and fires their weapon at the opposing side. This kicks off the big battle and aziraphale goes immediately to protect the christ person. He hides her in the bookshop. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to aziraphale, crowley charges into battle against both sides followed by the armies of humanity. He's looking, all the while, for his christ friend, but also not entirely hating getting to just smash through the forces of heaven and hell, as he works through his emotions on the battlefield. Eventually he finds her shoe or something and he thinks she's dead. He rages twice as hard, and doubles down on the violence, just mowing through angels and demons like they were tissue paper. He's covered in blood, absolutely FERAL, screaming, crying, and pretty much single-handedly defeats both sides. But at what cost? The entire area is reduced to rubble... except the bookshop. It is perfectly pristine. He falls to his knees and weeps. Aziraphale quietly wanders out and places a hand on crowley's shoulder. Crowley starts, screams, and, grabbing aziraphale by the collar, flies him angrily into a wall. There's a lil bit of "How could you do this to us? To our home?" From crowley, but mostly it's just him completely RAGING and weeping and going after aziraphale, blow after blow after blow. And aziraphale takes it. He doesn't fight back. He seems resigned to go so far as to let crowley kill him, and eventually it starts looking like he might. Crowley has his final blow aimed and ready and he's shaking and crying looking down at the bloodied angel, who looks up at him, places a shaking bloody hand on his cheek, and with the kindest eyes and gentlest voice, asks Crowley in an almost whisper: "please, my love, please forgive me." And passes out. *black out *

This is a VERY simplified version of an arc that could probably stretch over most of a season, if drawn out properly. I just couldn't get it out of my brain. So here, tumblr. I give it to you. Take it away plz I want to sleep.