#literally who thought that was a good idea???

[catis15]

I'm in gen Z and I've got friends who think like this

I wasn't too sheltered as a kid or a teen so like I don't agree with some but I can see the reasoning. Though the asking to masturbate one is wild, like wtf dude that's just like... A weird thing to ask. Also thought it was like a canon event for some ppl to masturbate to like the idea of ppl they found attractive. I've never done that cuz yeah it feels really fucking weird like dawg I know that person, but ASKING is so fucking wild man 😭

And actors younger than 18 what's that about? If it ain't got sexual content I don't see the problem as long as like workplace abuse isn't happening because it's pretty common to my knowledge in the industry.

Like how am I on the other side of my own generations BS 😂😭 I think I should be grateful??

Don't think not smoking and drinking is a bad thing though lmao. But I know a lot of my friends and I were shamed for sex related stuff by our parents. I mean when I was i think 16 or 17 my mother went through *private* ifykyk messages and continued to shame me for things that were said for a month or so after, even getting my MUCH younger sisters involved by telling them "Leaf is doing nasty things' or "Leaf is doing things she knows she shouldn't" and then she'd directly quote things I said to my partner as a way to embarrass me. Kinda weird looking back on it but my mom's kinda fucked up lol

But I had a lot of friends with similar experiences. It doesn't really create a safe place for what are pretty normal feelings :/

But then on the complete opposite side we have shows like Big Mouth and sites like AO3 where it's a very normal thing to be horny and have kinks and it's not shamed, sometimes even encouraged. We grew up wack y'all lol

So lines had to be drawn SOMEWHERE and for a lot of ppl my age it gets to be a little much

Like I have a friend who hates like any sort of sexual reference to underage characters. Which is totally fair they're underage it's whatever. But it's to the point he gets like defensive about it. And he's the dude who's pretty steadfast in his beliefs, but it got to the point even i thought it was a little weird. Like sometimes he'd get mad about making out or slightly heavier relationships between minors, eich again I can see the thought process, but also ppl are having sex by 16 or 17, and it makes sense that characters those ages would be doing similar things. I grew up reading books where teenagers did teenager things, and I feel like there is a level of age appropriate stuff? Like no dawg don't make full ass bdsm shit for teens but I feel like referenced or even vanilla type shit is fine????

I don't have a license so I can't talk-

Working on it though ;v;

And yeah lmao masturbate it's good for you (no literally there are studies saying it's good to do lmfao, like drinking a single glass of red wine before bed once a night is good for you... Unless your a recovering alcoholic then maybe not)

Sorry went on like a whole tangent lol but I'm bored and wanted to throw my two cents as someone who's got friends who think like op mentioned but I... Don't lol.

weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream

[ghouljams]

I feel like each of the 141 has a difference preference when dicking down their mate.

Kyle prefers to stay human, it lets him really get a good show while fucking into the pretty thing he managed to take home. Seeing how your skin contrasts to his softly colored sheets is more reassuring to him that you're his than any scenting could be. Also, he's a lighter sleeper as a human, letting him keep you in his bed if you try to slip out while he's asleep.

Price likes the little hint of other, as a sign of his age and experience. He's the only one of the 141 who can shift only a few senses instead of having to start properly shifting. Let's him memorize your scent while fucking you, all so he can let you have the illusion of choice by letting you go and "finding" you again later. Eventually, he'll make it seem like a bit of fate and offer you out on a date.

Ghost partially shifts, and that's the most he can hold himself back when it comes to you. Claws and teeth come out, drool dripping from his maw to your skin. He needs to taste you, to make sure you taste the same. Taste like his.

Soap is a dog and he will fuck you in full transformation because of it. This man needs you on the most primal level, so why not just fuck you at his most primal. It also gives him a better nose to smell your sweat soaked skin, a longer tongue to shove into you, better hearing to catch each and every whimper you make. He needs to consume you and the best way to do that is with his wolf.

At least, that's my thought.

As usual how does it feel to be so fucking right?

Gaz absolutely prefers fucking you as a human, it feels too much like taking advantage of you when he has his semi-transformed strength and the idea of fucking you fully wolf makes him itch a little. He's so worried about damaging you with his claws and fangs :( his poor human mate, he doesn't want to ruin you. We'll, not like that at least. That won't stop him from knotting you, that's a luxury he can't afford not to indulge in. He loves the way you squirm and complain about the stretch, shushing you with soft coos, promising it'll be over soon, even when he knows it'll be a good 20 minutes at least.

Price is old hat at transformations and after years of growing and shrinking it's worn on his joints, if he doesn't have to transform he won't. He'll indulge in the sensed his wolf-form lends him, pressing his nose to your pulse and getting himself drunk on your scent. His eyes are always dark, animalistic, when he drags his flat tongue against your sex, and you worry that the teeth he's hiding might bite too hard, but he hasn't hurt you yet. And the only scare he gives you is when he presses his hand against your come filled stomach talking about pups.

Ghost simply lacks self control around you. The man has the control of a saint, but once he gets drunk on the scent of your arousal it's over for him. He grips you with heavy clawed hands, his skin splitting with fur and his nose starting to lengthen, and it scares you a little. His breathing is uneven, but his hips don't stop moving even when his bones start to break and his joints begin to pop. His drool dripping onto you is the only indication you get before he's sinking his teeth into your shoulder. You'll have to take wolfsbane in the morning if you don't want to end up going through the same pain.

Soap though... Soap fucks you like a dog, literally. He'll hunt you down on a full moon and hold you down with big paws, murmuring canned tones from his open maw about how he can't stop himself. He's all instinct, all panting and howling as he mounts you and ruts his cock against your sex, uncaring what hole he fucks himself into as long as it's yours. He'll lay directly on top of you once he's knotted you too, licking your face in apology but you know he doesn't mean it because he keeps asking for another round.

[sardonicplague]

i still can't believe that riot games and netflix thought it would be a good idea to take the character who was basically a radical transhumanist cyborg guy that, ideologically speaking, is generally not all that forceful about imposing his beliefs on people without their consent, even if he's assertive and kind of an asshole about it. (who doesn't even really like nor have sympathy for his cult, by the fucking way) and decided to turn him into an extremely magical character when viktor's character never had anything to do with magic

now i'm not the collective of r/viktormains speaking, but if you ask me personally, i feel like the entire appeal of viktor as a character was that everything he did to himself, he literally did to himself, as in on purpose. researched how to modify himself because he wanted to, meticulously designed parts himself, and changed himself on purpose because of his ideals and conviction to his beliefs

arcane just makes it some fucking accident that he touched a weird magical D20 that turned him into some kind of mech mummy that digivolves into turbochrist the magical technowizard

like tee hee machine machine broke, will magic be okay?

oops all herald! no machine!

[iamtired10]

what the hell is love anyway!?

synopsis: love is supposed to suck, but damn, she’s making it look good. the things you used to hate? she does them all—and somehow, you’re okay with it.

pairing: pham hanni x female reader

genre: fluffyyy, slow acceptance of feelings

word count: 1.7k

warning: reader’s anti-romantic philosophy, no-touch boundaries, kisses... idk man.

a/n: birthday gift for u gaysss (no for me)

y'all are so lucky i love you guys bc i literally skipped paying attention to my crush's debate rounds to write this. everyone was watching in the auditorium and there i was focused on this instead (btw my crush won the debate 😫)

you always thought love was a scam—a packaged lie wrapped in clichés and false promises.

people called it magical, but to you, it was just a hassle. all that hand-holding, constant texting, and clinging to each other’s personal space?

gross.

you’d made peace with being alone.

then pham hanni came along.

it wasn’t like you fell for her overnight.

it started with the small things.

her goofy smile, the way she made everyone laugh, how her voice softened when she spoke to you.

she was the type of person who could win over a room with a single joke, and while you weren’t the type to be easily charmed, something about her stuck in your mind like a catchy song.

but liking her didn’t mean you’d signed up for the full “love” package.

or so you thought.

spamming messages

at first, it was cute.

hanni would send you random texts during the day:

“have you eaten?”

“look at this dog i saw today!”

“I MISS YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!”

“where are you? :3”

“let's meet plsssss”

you didn’t mind the occasional check-in or funny meme.

but then it escalated.

your phone buzzed relentlessly during class, notifications piling up like an avalanche.

p.hn

what are you doing?

are you ignoring me??

i bet you’re doing something boring without me

y/n i’m going to cry if you don’t answer

answer me plsss

im dying without your attention...

ok fine

ignore me all you want

bye?

bye????

BYEEE!!!

:(((((

you used to hate it when people bombarded your phone. you had once ghosted a friend for triple texting.

but with hanni?

you sighed, typed out a response, and felt strangely warm when she replied immediately with a heart emoji.

hand-holding

physical touch wasn’t your thing.

the idea of holding someone’s hand always made you cringe—clammy palms and awkward positioning?

no, thanks.

but hanni had a way of breaking down your walls without even trying.

the first time she grabbed your hand, it was instinctive. you were crossing a busy street, and she reached for you, her fingers slipping between yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.

your first reaction was to pull away.

but when you glanced at her, her brows furrowed in focus as she guided you across, your protests caught in your throat.

by the time you were safely on the other side, she hadn’t let go.

“you okay?” she asked, smiling up at you like it wasn’t a big deal.

you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat.

the weirdest part? you didn’t hate it.

hugs

you had a strict “no hugs” policy.

friends knew better than to even attempt it.

but hanni was a serial hugger.

she didn’t just hug; she wrapped herself around you like a blanket, her chin resting on your shoulder as if she belonged there.

at first, you stiffened every time she came near, your brain screaming, why is she touching me?

but one day, after a long, awful day, she hugged you without warning.

her arms were warm, her scent comforting, and instead of pushing her away, you found yourself melting into her embrace.

“feel better?” she asked softly.

you couldn’t bring yourself to admit it, but yeah, you did.

late-night calls

you hated phone calls.

they felt intrusive, unnecessary, and way too intimate.

so when hanni called you at 1 a.m., your first instinct was to ignore it.

but then you thought about her pouting on the other end, and before you knew it, you were swiping to answer.

“what?” you mumbled, already regretting it.

“i couldn’t sleep,” she said, her voice soft and a little raspy. “wanted to hear your voice.”

you groaned, but your heart betrayed you, skipping a beat at her words. “it’s the middle of the night, hanni.”

“i know,” she whispered. “but you sound cute when you’re annoyed.”

despite your best efforts, a small smile crept onto your face. damn her and her stupid charm.

kisses

kisses were overrated.

sloppy, awkward, and unnecessary—at least, that’s what you used to think.

but hanni had a way of making even the most mundane things magical. the first time she kissed you, it wasn’t planned.

she was rambling about something, her eyes bright with excitement, and before you could think, she leaned in and pressed her lips to yours.

it wasn’t dramatic or earth-shattering.

it was soft, sweet, and over too quickly.

when she pulled back, she looked at you nervously, biting her lip. “was that okay?”

you stared at her, heart pounding. “it was fine. . .”

fine was an understatement.

cuddles

cuddling was the ultimate invasion of personal space. you couldn’t understand why people willingly turned themselves into human pretzels just to feel close to someone.

but her?

she didn’t ask.

she just flopped onto you one afternoon, her head resting on your chest as she scrolled through her phone.

“what are you doing?” you asked.

“getting comfortable,” she replied nonchalantly.

you wanted to push her off, but her warmth seeped into you, relaxing muscles you hadn’t even realized were tense.

“fine,” you muttered. “but don’t move too much.”

she grinned, nuzzling closer. “i love you too.”

nicknames

you weren’t big on nicknames either.

they felt unnecessary and a little too mushy for your taste.

but she was relentless.

“baby,” she cooed one morning, poking your cheek as you sat groggily at the table. “what do you want for breakfast?”

you froze, blinking at her. “did you just call me... baby?”

“yeah. why?” she tilted her head innocently, like she hadn’t just thrown your entire morning into chaos.

“don’t.” you tried to sound stern, but the heat creeping up your neck betrayed you.

“okay, love.” She grinned, clearly enjoying herself.

“stop.”

“alright, sweetheart.”

you groaned, burying your face in your hands. “you’re... a-annoying...”

“and you love me for it,” she teased, planting a kiss on your temple.

and she was right.

watching a movie

movie nights with hanni were… an experience.

you’d always prided yourself on being someone who actually watched movies—no talking, no distractions, just pure focus.

but hanni? she was the complete opposite.

“wait, who’s that?” she asked five minutes in, pointing at the screen.

“that’s the main character,” you replied patiently.

“right, right.”

another ten minutes passed. “why is she crying?”

you sighed, pausing the movie. “hanni, if you’d been watching—”

“i was! kind of.” She pouted, tugging on your sleeve. “sorry, baby. keep playing it, please.”

you rolled your eyes, but when she cuddled into your side, resting her head on your shoulder, you let it slide.

by the end of the movie, she’d fallen asleep, her soft snores filling the room. you looked at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

yeah, you couldn’t stay mad at her.

stealing your hoodies

your wardrobe was sacred.

you hated it when people borrowed your clothes without asking.

but then there was hanni, strutting around in your favorite hoodie like she owned it.

“is that mine?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

she looked down, feigning innocence. “oh, this? it was just sitting there, so…”

you opened your mouth to protest, but then she turned to face you, the oversized hoodie making her look impossibly small and adorable.

“you... can have it,” you muttered, averting your gaze.

her grin was victorious. “i know.”

early mornings

you weren’t a morning person.

waking up early was your personal hell, and you avoided it at all costs.

but hanni had a habit of waking up before the sun and dragging you along for the ride.

“y/n, wake up!” she whispered excitedly, shaking you gently.

“go away,” you mumbled, pulling the blanket over your head.

“but i made coffee,” she said, her tone teasing. “and pancakes.”

your stomach growled, betraying you. you groaned, sitting up reluctantly.

she smiled triumphantly, handing you a mug. “see? mornings aren’t so bad.”

you sighed, glaring at her over the rim. “they are. you’re just annoying.”

“i love you too,” she shot back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before skipping away.

singing randomly

you weren’t a fan of noise, especially when you were trying to focus.

but hanni was a walking jukebox, always humming or breaking into song at the most random moments.

“can you stop?” you’d grumble, trying to concentrate on your work.

“stop what?” she’d reply innocently, twirling around the room as she belted out a love song.

you’d glare at her, but deep down, you couldn’t help smiling.

especially when she changed the lyrics to include your name.

poking your cheeks

hanni had an odd obsession with your cheeks. she’d poke them at every opportunity, claiming they were “too squishy to resist.”

“do you mind?” you snapped one day, swatting her hand away.

“not at all,” she replied cheerfully, poking you again.

you huffed, but when she giggled and kissed the spot she’d just poked, you let it slide.

showing up unannounced

you liked your alone time, and you hated surprises.

so when hanni started showing up at your place unannounced, you were less than thrilled.

“don’t you ever knock?” you asked as she waltzed into your living room.

“why would i? it’s me,” she replied, flopping onto your couch like she owned the place.

you rolled your eyes, but the truth was, you didn’t really mind.

because with Hanni, even the things you used to hate felt… okay.

personal space

you were a fortress, a private island, a lone wolf.

but pham hanni was a storm, relentless and impossible to ignore.

she broke through your defenses without even trying.

she sat too close, invaded your bubble, and left her things scattered around your space like she belonged there.

and you let her.

because somewhere along the way, you stopped seeing it as an intrusion and started seeing it as her way of showing she cared.

by the time you realized how much she’d changed you, it was too late. she’d already wormed her way into every corner of your life, breaking down every wall you’d carefully built.

and honestly? you didn’t hate it.

as she sat beside you one night, her head resting on your shoulder and her fingers playing with yours, you finally admitted it to yourself.

you didn’t just like her.

you loved her.

hanni glanced up at you, her eyes sparkling. “what’s on your mind?”

“nothing,” you replied, squeezing her hand. “just you.”

and for the first time, that didn’t scare you.

a/n: i promised myself i wouldn't write anything this month so i could focus on studying, but i missed writing too much

now i feel like i suck even more than before :'D

[straynoahide]

I like your explanations of our morally imperfect existence, accepting the need for help or a savior, that Christianity is also a mindful and onerous process, not a side-thought with no burden, that being raised Christian and being Christian are two entirely different things, and the personal relationship with God. I would add, Christian faith is faith in the ultimate goodness and victory, Hope unending, despite the world, despite everything, because of Him.

Everything in this universe is transactional, except God's love, which merely has to be understood, and accepted. God is perfect and needs nothing - he made us because he wants us, because he loves us, because he chooses us.

A "Christian declaring himself to be a Jew" is a schismatic and heretical form of the religion, very atypical, a Messianic Jew, and should not be used to misrepresent Christians in general.

Catechism leading up to confirmation, in many Christian denominations adult confirmation, is also a process of learning, reflection and commitment, although it is not "conversion" itself, it is part of the road towards being a full member of the Church and living in the faith, and it is for example the way i converted / re-connected.

I however, perhaps influenced by having being an atheist until the time of my actual conversion (despite having being raised Christian), have never come to actually believe in punitivistic Hellfire doctrines.

I can get the doctrinal view of the existence of a state of self-imposed separation from divinity, and of the unredeemed, but I believe two fundamental things that modulate how I interpret that: (1) there are kind and good people who are not Christian, (2) Christ helps us willingly and enthusiastically by us accepting his moral message, which is time-sensitive worldly kindness and ultimate goodness, and rejection of cruelty and tyranny when it matters, which is now.

I really don't believe that atheists, Jews, muslims or other 'pagans' are "punished" simply for not professing Christianity, the mere idea is unchristlike. Communication and truth go deeper than that. Christ, who is the Logos, emphasized content and criticized form so many times it can't be a coincidence.

I also don't conflate unredeemed and unredeemable. I think only God knows what the "restoration of all things" is and that attempts by us to see who is in eternal exclusion are meaningless, because we are partial and our view is partial so long as we are here- as Christians I believe we should, for example, reject the death penalty to be truly pro-life, and also reject "capital punishments" of the soul in our utterances of who is condemned, lest we incur in sin, because if we pronounce a soul condemned to hell, and we are wrong, what does that entail for our soul? I believe we should strive for healing, reconciliation and restorative justice on this Earth, for literally everyone. No one harms who has no god-given unmet need and is at ease, no one kills without halving their humanity. There is no other sound view of universal human dignity, to me. You can't dignify through disdain nor exclusion.

On proselytism, my views are not precisely typical or orthodox. I believe there are many ways to evangelize. I personally don't have an individual disposition towards trying to make others hold my beliefs. On the contrary, my tendency is towards compatibilization unless proven wrong. So as for evangelizing, I think there are good ways and bad ways to do it, and I think the Church has sometimes done it poorly, organizations within it often do great work however and I appreciate it, and have been part of some.

As for my personal life, I believe in doing good and in sharing knowledge as the main forms of 'showing not telling' my moral worldview. I feel more like non-proselytes in that regard, because I know I can influence people in a positive way despite them not coming to share my worldview - and that I can learn from the Other and genuinely listen, even if they aren't Christian, without needing to be insecure that it will challenge or oppose my faith.

At the end of the day, these are just my interpretations, and I've shared them with my spiritual father; there is room for discussion and differing views on punitivism and proselytism, but I remain a full member of the Roman Catholic Church and I respect my fellow Christians and those who are not because I believe highlighting the human dignity of everybody, in our work and in our words, is the most christlike thing we can do.

My favorite, and I mean FAVORITE teaching of Judaism is that proselytizing is wrong. It’s the one Christians have the hardest time understanding. That even though Judaism is an incredible part of my life, that it’s an incredible community to be apart of, that I could not care less about wether or not they choose to become apart of it. That conversion is possible, and converts are a welcome part of our community and no less Jewish than anyone else, but at the same time we do not seek out people to convert. In addition, conversion is a very serious decision, and the conversion process is lengthy and difficult.

It’s because while I love being Jewish, and I love my community, I do not think that Jewishness is required to live a happy and productive life. I know that it is not right for everyone. I know that for most, the conversion process is not something they view as worth the time and effort. And that is okay. No one HAS to be Jewish. No one should EVER be coerced, manipulated, or forced into conversion.

If someone chooses to convert, it is because THAT PERSON wanted to. They saw something of value in the teachings and community. I think that means so much more than “convert or you’re going to burn for eternity because you are a bad person.”

[bookishdaze]

Noah's Ark for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

You know how the story of Caesar is inspired by Moses? Freeing his people and taking them to the promised lands?

Well, to continue this trend of using events and figures from the Bible as inspiration, Noa from Kingdom is based on Noah. They're not subtle about it at all.

Our main ape is named Noa, he saves his people from a flood, and there's a very big boat in the background for good measure. In case it wasn't obvious enough!

However, I believe we are not done with the similarities to Noah from the Bible. The story of Caesar as Moses happened in both Rise and War, actually. So if the similarities to Noah will continue in this new trilogy...what will that look like? Time to speculate!

First things first...we need an Ark, right? What will that look like? For this post and speculation, I will use other movies for inspiration!

Note: I'm not saying these movies were purposefully based on Noah's Ark. This is mostly for ideas and inspiration.

I've thought of bunkers, planes, and boats.

Bunker as the Ark

Okay, this idea came to me after watching Greenland with Gerard Butler. In Greenland, we follow John who has to take his family to a bunker in Greenland because an asteroid is going to hit earth that will wipe out all life. I know a bunker is not a big method of transportation like a boat, but here's why it could fit!

The flood from the Bible was a world-ending event that wiped out everything, right? Well, bunkers are built to withstand world-ending events! Maybe there's a big danger like a virus or bomb that the apes will need to escape from by hunkering down in a bunker.

Even in Kingdom, the apes have to climb deep within the bunker/vault in order to save themselves from the flood. Maybe foreshadowing that a bunker will save them from another "flood" event in the future?

In Greenland, the humans leave the bunker once the dust has settled after nine months of living underground. One of the first things they see are birds, a sign that there is still life on earth. This reminds me of how Noah used birds to see if the waters from the flood had receded enough for it to be safe to leave the Ark. This also makes me think of how Noa's clan raises eagles...

The POTA franchise has always used bunkers in in its story, all the way back to the originals with the mutants from Beneath the Planet of the Apes that lived underground.

Aircraft as an Ark

Some movies/shows that come to mind that use aircraft, planes, and even spaceships as an Ark are Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, Thor Ragnarok, and The Handmaid's Tale.

In GotG Vol. 3, the movie ends with a bunch of animals escaping an exploding spaceship by getting on Knowhere, a spaceship/planet. This reminds me of how Noah had two of each animal on the Ark.

In Thor Ragnarok, Thor gets the people of Asgard on a spaceship in order to escape the destruction of their home world, Asgard.

In season 3 of The Handmaid's Tale, June and other rebels create a plan to get a bunch of children out of Gilead by having them escape on an airplane.

Even before this, when June learns how many others agreed to help, she jokingly replies, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

I did create this post earlier this year where I discuss how Kingdom could be foreshadowing Noa taking flight in an aircraft. Where would the apes get a plane? Where would they go? And if it's a plane, what would they be escaping? The humans? Maybe it's both apes and humans escaping something? Other humans? A bomb? A virus? A natural disaster?

Boat as an Ark

This one is very on the nose, lol. I don't have other movies as examples for this one, but the story of Noah uses a literal boat, so I don't think I need to find other examples to prove this as a possibility. I personally don't think it would be a boat, but it could be another neat way to show how apes are advancing. And considering how apes die by drowning a lot in Kingdom, and how other movies like the 2001 POTA shows apes being afraid of water, apes getting on a boat could be a neat way to show how they're no longer afraid of the water?

Soooo that's all I got. A bunker is the one that makes the most sense. I also really like the idea of planes and apes advancing enough to understand flight. Boats I'm not very confident on, but I'm open to all possibilities. Feel free to share your thoughts and ideas!

[wonderjanga]

So there is that headcanon where Captian Marvel looks a lot like teth Aman (Black Adams kid) and him mistaking cap as his kid and trying to reconnect in a way making people think that Black Adam is Captain Marvels dad

*throws this idea at you and runs away*

*idea smacks me in the head*

Teth was furious. For good reason too. The Wizard literally sealed him away for nearly five thousand years. Then, the old man replaced him with some, from what he’d heard, bumbling idiot. So yes, he was furious, and he also wanted his job back. Something he could only get if the current champion was put down. Which he was on his way to this place called Fawcett to do.

When he got there, he could practically feel the magic emanating from the city. Were there magic ley lines here? Then it’s a no wonder the Champion chose to set up base here rather than one of the major cities. As of now, Adam was above the city surveying the terrain. Meanwhile, Billy in Marvel form is sitting on a roof, wondering who that weirdo hovering above the city.

Solomon: “Oh… Billy you have to kill that man.”

Marvel: “WHAT?” *gobsmacked and concerned because other than a couple times, Solomon has never been one to hop on the ‘kill that villain’ train*

Achilles: “Yeah, we’re sorry, but like, no joke, you actually gotta kill him.”

Marvel: “The other times were jokes?”

Mercury: “Kinda, but you absolutely have to kill this guy or he will kill you.”

Marvel: “Oh. Uhm… okay?” *sounds extremely nervous as he stands up* “So what do? Do I just…?”

Hercules: “Yeah, just like charge him, and beat him. To death.”

And that’s how Adam literally blinked and the next thing he knew, he was hurtling through the air and to the ground, far from the so called Fawcett. Damn it. The current Champion had found him first. When Adam crawled out of his crater, he was met with a face he didn’t think he’d ever see again. Aman.

Had that blasted Wizard brought his son back from the grave? Adam didn’t know whether he should be grateful, or enraged. On one hand, the Wizard brought his boy back. His boy whose life had ended too early. On the other hand, his boy had been thrust back into a life of danger as the Champion. Gods, how long had Aman been the current Champion? How long had the Wizard waited until he decided that doing this was acceptable?

As for Billy, he just stared down at the guy wearing black in confusion. Why did the Gods want him to kill this guy so bad? He isn’t attacking anyone. He’s kinda just there, staring up at up at Billy with the same confused expression Billy has. He also has the same lightning bolt? Billy had thought that was only reserved for people connected to the rock. The Wizard had never mentioned this guy before if that’s the case.

Black Adam: *mistakes Billy’s confusion as recognized* “…Aman?”

Marvel: *heard “a man” and just thought Adam just had some type of accent* “Yes…?” *now extremely confused*

Black Adam: “I can’t believe it.” *flies over to him and tries to reach out to him*

Marvel: *moves out of his reach because he does not know this rando*

Black Adam: *sounds slightly annoyed* “What did the Wizard tell you?”

Marvel: “Nothing? I just don’t know you.”

Black Adam: *looks absolutely disturbed* “He erased your memory?”

Marvel: *just about to answer when some monster starts attacking Fawcett* “Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk later.” *flies off to the monster*

Zeus: “How interesting.” *probably stroking his beard* “He didn’t immediately kill you.”

Solomon: “Be on watch Billy. He could still attack.”

Now, Adam obviously didn’t do that. He immediately went to Kahndaq, made himself pharaoh again and remodeled the palace as best as he could in such a short time. It wasn’t until about a week later that Adam came back to see his boy again.

Marvel: *finishes helping an old lady cross the road*

Black Adam: *lands beside him and clears his throat*

Marvel: “Oh, it’s you again!” *smiles*

Black Adam: “Yes. It is I.”

*silence*

Marvel: *desperate to fill the awkward silence* “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I caught your name the last time we met.”

Black Adam: “I am Teth Adam.” *is super hurt that his boy doesn’t remember him and is plotting on the Wizard*

Marvel: “Cool. I’m Captain Marvel. I’m fine with Cap, or Marvel, or whatever you can come up with.”

Black Adam: “So that’s what he has you going by…”

Marvel: “What?”

*another silence*

Black Adam: *clear throat again* “When… are you coming home?””

Marvel: “Home?”

Black Adam: “Home. Kahndaq. If you’re worried about becoming a slave again, after your…” *clears throat* “The point is, I worked to get rid of it.”

Billy honest to the Gods just assumed this guy was both lonely and another Champion.

Marvel: *confused at the mention of slavery* “Sure, I’ll come by. That’s in like Africa, right?”

Black Adam: *a little relieved that he’d visit, but also filled with a little dread because Marvel not knowing where Kahndaq is kind of supports the memory wipe theory* “I believe so.”

Marvel did visit. And sure, he might’ve had to work himself up for the awkward afternoon, but it wasn’t that bad. Teth seemed a little happier after the whole thing. Billy’s pretty sure at least. It’s a little hard to get a read the guy’s emotions.

Also, someone caught the end of their conversation, more specifically the coming home bit. Thus, the rumors of this new guy in black being Marvel’s father were born. These rumors were fueled by Adam trying to be fatherly, albeit awkwardly, and Billy just accepting it because he just thinks Adam is being nice.

Like the time Adam brought him a modernized version Aman’s favorite food because he thought he might still like it.

Achilles: “WAIT BILLY IT MIGHT BE POISONED-”

Marvel: *takes a big munch* “Wow, this is really good!”

Black Adam: *relieved* “It’s good you still like it.”

Yeah, Fawcitizens are like ninety percent sure Adam is their hero’s dad. And they’re here for it. They just want their big guy to be happy.

[m1ngyuism]

subby mingyu?

GRRAAHH SUBBY MINGYU MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️ WHAT THE HELL IS SANITY 🔥🔥

sub!mingyu who will literally do anything you say, both in and out of the bedroom.

sub!mingyu who goes from the extroverted and friendly guy to your whimpering desperate mess behind closed doors.

sub!mingyu who loves it when you have your way with him, the idea of him being absolutely weak and vulnerable in your hands driving him wild and his dick rock hard.

sub!mingyu who is more sensitive than you think, easily crumbling when you slowly trace your fingers over his toned chest.

sub!mingyu whose head spins as you leave hickeys across his neck and his chest, the idea of people seeing them and knowing that he's yours making his dick twitch.

sub!mingyu who makes the prettiest noises ever, cute babbles of 'please touch me, i've been a good boy,' and 'i need you so bad' echoing in your bedroom.

sub!mingyu who stays so obedient and well-behaved even after you tease him over and over again.

sub!mingyu who absolutely shuts down the moment you slide his dick into you, only able to grasp desperately on to your hips and whine as you ride him.

sub!mingyu who can't help but moan loudly, the pleasure you give to him throwing his sanity and self-respect right out the window.

sub!mingyu who chants desperate pleas over and over again, begging you to let him cum - in you, on you, on himself, anywhere you'll let him. he's not a picky person.

sub!mingyu who's eyes are glazed over as he eats you out like a starved man, not a single thought going through his head as he gets drunk on how sweet and how good you taste.

sub!mingyu who desperately needs to know he's doing good, sensitive cock rutting into the bed which each praise you shower him in and with each tug of his hair.

sub!mingyu who's absolutely spent by the time you're done with him, cum, sweat, drool, and hickeys decorating his gorgeous body as he falls asleep with you in his arms.

© m1ngyuism, 2024.

[koi-p0nd]

MOUTHWASHING X READER ONESHOTS.

Curly x GN Reader

Part 1?

“Come here, sunshine... Let me love you...”

(This is mostly just to polish up my one-shot/fanfic writing skills, don't expect that this will be continued sorry)

02:36. 02:36 in the goddamn morning on the ship and Curly was still up. Having ‘lost track of time’ while sitting in the cockpit and doing his work. Always that ¨lost track of time’ excuse whenever he was confronted by the others. Although the others would confront him about it he didn’t care much, only when you started to scold him about it. 

It was something in the way that you managed to get to him whenever giving him a scolding. He felt like a kid each time. But in an oddly good way.

“God forbid if they knew…” Curly thought to himself, knowing as to why he would feel like a child to your scoldings. He was smitten. So utterly in love it was disgusting. How could Curly let himself fall so hard for someone like them? 

It was lonely on the freighter after all. The only ones he could have any company with were his crew, only seeing them as friends. But you? Oh god… Why did Curly get all fuzzy at the thought of you even being nearby?

Knock knock!

Snapping out of his train of thought, Curly turned around in his seat, looking at the door as it hissed open quietly. Confused, wondering who in the hell it could be.

“Cap?” A voice called out quietly yet sternly. Oh. It’s you. 

Shit.

“Oh, uh… hey..” He replied back with a sheepish sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at you. Forcing an apologetic smile.

“Nevermind, get to bed.” You sighed, shaking your head dismissively while rubbing your eyes. “C’mon. Don’t need you to pass out.” 

Curly sighed, nodding his head. He knew it wasn’t any idea to protest. “Alright, just let me finish with this paper and I’ll come.” He responded quietly.

Quickly finishing up with the report, putting the papers and his pen away he eventually got up from his seat and walked over to the door where you stood. “Sorry, I-”

“-Lost track of time. Again?” You cut him off, raising a brow to look at the blonde captain in front of you. “Yeah... Right.” Curly grumbled in a sigh. “Again..” He echoed in a sheepish tone, unable to stop the guilty smile tugging at his lips. “Sorry.”

You just sighed, shaking your head dismissively one last time. “How about we just get out of here and get back to sleep while we still can, hm?” Curly seemed to perk up at that, gratitude taking over the sheepishness on his smile. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

~¤~

The quiet, soft sounds of the two walking down the halls of the ship. Quiet words leaving them in their discussion about something random, unrelated to any of their work on the ship. 

Curly missed those soft, gentle and quiet moments back at home. Not like he could really remember them anymore, but he felt nostalgic during these rare moments of the quiet late night conversations. 

The two made it out to the lounge, took a seat on the couch and looked at the late night- early morning time window screen. Sitting on the white cushions of the couch, tired eyes on the soft yet harsh light of the screen.

“Why are you like this?” You asked softly, breaking the quietness after several minutes of silently staring at the screen. 

“Like what?” Curly quizzed, gazing over to you with a raised brow and curious gaze. “Why are you forcing yourself to stay up so late?” The words left your tongue with that soft tone, yet laced with worry and annoyance at the same time.

“I-...” Curly trailed off, caught off guard by the question. He didn’t even know what to reply with. Not thinking that the question would be asked so soon. “I don’t know, actually.” He forced out after a few seconds. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Figure it out.” You said sharply, looking at Curly with narrowed eyes. “I’m getting tired of having to literally force and tuck you into bed like you’re a little kid.” 

“Ouch, that hurt.” The captain thought, the words from you stinging but true. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you felt like that-” He started, about to apologize before he got cut off.

“Curly, you’re a captain for crying out loud! You should be able to take proper care of yourself, you’re a grown man after all!” You scoffed, hands rubbing your eyes. “Get yourself together and get to bed when everyone else does.” 

He was baffled. Not expecting such blunt, harsh words from you. His mouth opened but no sounds or words left him.

“This is the last time I’m telling you. If I find you or find out that you’ve been staying awake this late, I will fucking loose it.” Curly just watched as you walked off after saying that. Guilt and shame started to form in the pits of his stomach. Why did he feel so bad…?

[dwaekkicidal]

txt hard thoughts for my new staymoa mootie ~~~ (let’s be besties forever)

ur beomgyu exhibitionist thought was actually fucking insane i lost sleep over that thing… being a tubatu members gf but being lowk free use for the other members has me growling and barking and howling at the moon

something about that is so yeonjun to me… maybe because i think he’s a huge exhibitionist hehe being his girlfriend but he loves to slut you out in front of the other boys !!!!! or him ordering you around having you suck them off so he can watch and let the others know how good your lil throat is > /// <

you have no idea the sounds that came out of me when i saw ur name in my notifs the other day and again now when you sent this in sdfuhskljdfhskldufhsjkldfhskljfshlkdjfskldjf ( i love you so bad, my new bestie hehehe <3)

anyways :3 i always love the idea of dating one member while also being slutted out to the others (for literally any group too...) grrrrrrr its so yummy

BUT IT DOES FIT YEONJUN SO WELL!! i feel like being the oldest just gives him a bit of an ego anyways, but the fact that he's the oldest AND has the hottest piece of ass around to call his too?? yeahhhh he's a bit high on that

boyfie jjunie who is just sick of the miniskirts you INSIST on wearing. he knows damn well it's not just "for fun" like you swore- he's noticed that you wear them specifically when his friends are around

the two of had spoken about including some of the guys in your sex life, and he had spoke to them about it too- but that's where this issue had started! now that you knew they wanted you, but could only get you with jjunie's permission, you made it your life's goal to be the biggest whore you could around them and make them absolutely miserable <3

he finally decides that he's had enough when you show up unannounced to their dance practice in the shortest mini skirt yet. the only reason he didn't notice the bottom of your ass cheeks hanging out was because of the big sweater you wore over it. at least you did that much to try to behave... right? (copium)

kai eyes him warily and yeonjun shakes his head with an eyeroll, trying to urge the maknae away from encouraging your antics, but he just doesn't listen!! he's sick of waiting for yeonjun to initiate sex with literally any of them, so why not push it out of him?

the boys share nervous looks as kai saunters over to you and pulls you into an embrace, whispering something in your ear that makes you giggle and hug onto him tighter. when yeonjun's eyes stop staring daggers into kais head, he finally notices the way kai's fingers play with them hem of your skirt,,, the one right where your ass is hanging out in yeonjun's favorite pair of panties >.<

yea... its gonna be a long day.

<3

"I said no touching, baby. Behave yourself." His fingers dig into your cheeks and he tugs you backwards, the bulbous tip of his cock slipping from your lips in the process and making your cheeks puff out.

"But-" A single raise of his eyebrow silences you immediately, making your pout even deeper.

"C'mon Hyung~ We wanna see her go all out." Yeonjun rolls his eyes again and releases your cheeks. He simply nods his head downwards and you immediately obey, wrapping your pretty, slightly swollen lips around his cock- where they belong.

"You all are on thin ice too, I don't wanna hear it." His lidded eyes snap up to the boys that surround the two of you- Beomgyu and Soobin unashamedly fisting their cocks at the sight of you meanwhile Taehyun and Kai simply watch, sometimes palming themselves to relieve the unbearable pressure in their sweats.

He ignores the complaints and boos he gets in response in favor of tangling his fingers in your hair, creating a makeshift ponytail to keep a close eye on your movements. He grins cockily when your hands surrender to the top of your thighs, digging into the pretty flesh there as you take his cock into your throat on your own.

Soobin finds himself licking his lips at the sight of you kneeling on his jacket- something he instantly threw down for your comfort when he realized that Yeonjun wasn't planning on giving you that undeserved delicacy. Part of him wonders if you'll cum untouched on top of it...

"You look so good on your knees, Y/N." Beomgyu's lips are pulled up in the biggest shit-eating grin any of them had ever seen. They all could tell he was planning something, but Yeonjun had no plans to let them any closer to you right now.

The two youngest hadn't spoken up since this started. Their jaws are on the floor and they can't help but stare down at you with wide, boba eyes as you take Yeonjun to the very hilt.

"Mmm... This throat feels just as good." Yeonjun huffs as you suck harshly and the boys groan, partially upset that they're not getting a turn. Your nose pokes against his pelvis and he thrusts forward suddenly, making you choke around him.

He doesn't pull you off though- he hates when you resist his actions when he's in the middle of proving a point- so he lets you decide how you're gonna recover from it. And when you squeeze your eyes shut and focus on breathing through your nose, refusing to release him from your mouth, his lips curl up into his own smirk.

"That's what I thought." He chuckles and latches onto his bottom lip with his teeth, smiling deviously as you start bobbing your head on your own. The boys surrounding you sigh in awe, Kai just about moaning at your dedication to power through your gags all just to make your boyfriend happy.

"Off." You whine but comply immediately, pulling off of him and digging your fingers into your thighs desperately as you look up at him under your lashes. You don't move a muscle other than the way you bite your lip, feeling empty without him poking your uvula. But now that you're completely submitted to him, Yeonjun's pride swells.

He smiles and traces his thumb over your lips, even more swollen now and covered in more spit than before. "Now that you remember who you belong to, you're gonna make me cum and then you're free reign for the boys- for the rest of the night. Got it?"

Soobin cums into his hand at the thought, his teeth sinking into his palm being the only thing to silence his moans. You nod eagerly and suck on Yeonjun's thumb, patiently waiting for your next instructions.

This might be a long night... But you'll be damned if you think it wasn't worth it.

Taglist (red=can’t be tagged):

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess @kittycatkrissa

@nicora04 @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightndaydreams

[revenge-of-the-shit]

No hi I'm back again because after sitting on it for a while it was like Arcane suddenly saw all those issues it presented and abruptly decided that it was time to turn a blind eye to it instead in favour of a greek-tragedy-cosmic-horror-doomed-soulmates storyline. Whether this is due to studio interference or due to the actual politics of the writers, I don't know, but at the end of the day Arcane disappointingly fails to break free of the neoliberal messaging that deeply pervades any media that even tries to be progressive. It presents all these very real systemic issues, then either forgets about it or slaps on a last-minute band-aid solution that only serves to brush it under the rug.

I will grant that a part of it is just the fact that they simply didn't have enough time. A lot of this could've been expanded on had we just had one more arc, or even just three four-episode acts instead. The quick pacing honestly did Arcane a disservice this time. They had huge ideas, many of which were great, but they simply did not have enough time.

Some things that I wish we saw more of:

Ekko's community building and the fruits of his effort (and to add on to this: let him see his tree again!!! wtf!!)

Jinx and Sevika (and Ekko!!!) really, truly leading a united Zaunite revolution for longer than like half an episode that forces literally anyone in Piltover to consider the consequences of their actions

On that same point: meaningful change that takes down systemic barriers - better public infrastructure for Zaun, better funding for health issues, examining injustices committed by enforcers - this was only barely addressed by Ekko ("you're destroying our vents and polluting our waters") and then like never talked about again

Putting Sevika on the council as the singular token Zaunite is so painful like I can tell you as someone who's been the only queer non-white voice in the room that it's not as progressive and cool as it might seem to be. It's painful and torturous and just reeks of tokenism. A good first step would be to have a council with an equal amount of members between Piltover and Zaun but that's not enough to just have that!!

Jayce and Caitlyn actually having like, even a moment, just to think about what they've done to hurt, to oppress others, in their pursuit of "justice". Making weapons you never said you would and gassing a city of civilians should be thought about more, actually

Like there could've been so much more to Jayce and Caitlyn to make their characters even more well written. At their core they truly want to do good, they care, they earnestly want to help, but they are also raised in privilege and I want to see them wrestle with the biases they've been soaked in more.

I already talked about Maddie and the enforcers in a different post but just... more nuance about enforcers and how even the nicest enforcer you know will happily gas civilians and stand by and watch unnecessary violence. Like. Loris was one of the "good enforcers" but he helped to gas civilians too. Did we forget that

Vi!!! Just. More of Vi. She got the short end of the stick this season. The writer's punching bag. I wish we got more time to actually explore her trauma and to just... give her a break. But also more time on her thinking on her own decision to go bluebelly.

[hryniewiecki]

Grand Arcane S2 review

because I really need it to move on

Remember how I mentioned I could write an entire book about everything that went wrong with this season? Well, this is what a little excerpt from it would look like.

Let's start with a personal note to clarify my relationship with this hell of a piece of media.

S1 was this miracle show that was able to break through the several years of depression and anhedonia and make me interested in something, make me try to get back into making art (or at least try to try), to put myself out there on the internet a bit, to try be a part of something and not ashamed of enjoying it, which I never allowed myself before. Coincidentally, I've been at what I thought then was the worst place in my life when it aired and it helped me a lot to get through it. I didn't even think I would make it to see S2, as thee years felt like forever then. Taking all that into consideration, I think you can already tell where this is going.

I honestly thought I was prepared for S2 not being good, as no show could be this perfect. Turns out I wasn't prepared at all. Act 1 made me very happy, so happy I watched it two times, but the rest is something I would've never watch again and rather forget about.

The characters I wanted to see the most were Warwick (body horror, The Wrath of Zaun haunting the streets - got just a glimpse of that, but it felt like nothing) and Viktor (cyborgs and cyber gore, misunderstood idealist, Blitzcrank - got basically nothing; the idea was kinda there somewhere, but got changed so much it didn't matter at all).

I can't believe they took a godforsaken champion like Viktor and not only ruined his story completely, but also managed to fuck up everything else by all of a sudden making him a center of all of this mess. The center being the arcane/hextech/magic, which never even gets resolved/explained. Still no idea why it got corrupted and what was the nature of it; the void was never taken anywhere despite being heavily hinted - everything was evil because it was, but luckily the magic of friendship saved us!! (I'll get to that)

Speaking of crucial plotlines that weren't taken anywhere.. Basically every character got screwed over and made empty. Let's use Vi for a quick example (may not actually be the best example, but hopefully you'll get what I mean) - when I saw the pit fighter scene released early, I expected to see it have a continuation in the show, but instead it ended up just being the exact same music video, nothing more. And that goes for some more events - they get compressed into music videos that make it all incredibly hollow. Fight scenes are fine like this, sure, but not something that was supposed to be a bit more emotional and serious. Anyway, they successfully made me hate most of the characters. Either hate or just straight up not recognize them, and in a bad way.

Long story short the pacing is awful (it only gets back to normal in ep7, as it resembles the structure of S1) and the writing sucks ass. I can't for the love of god believe it was written alongside S1. There's no way in hell - it's literally all the worst fan theories I've seen come to life and get mixed with fanservice. *puts on a tinfoil hat* Maybe this is the real why they needed an extra year or two, as S2 was initially supposed to be released earlier. No way in hell the same people who wrote S1 and cared so much about the characters would do anything like this. Riot must've gotten heavily involved, making us believe they cut the story short (I think 5 seasons in Piltover/Zaun were planned initially?) for the benefit of it, but all it really was is greed - let's make a bunch of bullshit happen and quickly move to another region to sell more skins for new champions.

Now let's get back to the ending. Man, it really had it all - the nonsense, the multiverse bullshit which basically makes nothing make sense anymore (if there was anything left), the (yes, I'm going to say it, because that's exactly what I felt) cringe and embarrassment. Never seen anything more hollow trying to convince me it was deep and emotional (sums up the whole show perfectly).

How the hell the only thing that was supposed to save Viktor from himself was Jayce telling him he's perfect the way he is? Sure, don't try to cure your illness (that my city caused, but "fortunately" another crucial part of the plot, which is the sister cities conflict, ceased to exist), it makes you beautiful, this is who you are (miserable, unwanted, feeling meaningless and like a burden, dying). I am at loss of words.

Now buckle up jayvik fans. I wasn't a fan of the ship as I'm not a fan of any ships in general, but now I despise it. I wouldn't mind if they actually went on with it, which no, they didn't. We don't want two men kissing (women making out is fine tho, won't make the gamers too angry), so let's play extra safe to make sure it could be explained as any type of other close bond (and that's exactly what Christian Linke does when asked about it). You disgusting cowards, either you show me this in plain sight and I wouldn't give it a second thought, or don't even try bring it up at all (and you can't deny it wasn't implied in S1 with all the Viktor's looks and parallels to Mel).

Where do I even begin? Because I don't think you have any idea on how many levels it actually sucks. If you read it as romantic it's basically telling me that if I was a gay man struggling with my feelings and not being able to confess for years, because I'm convinced I'm unworthy of love as something is inherently wrong with me, then the best I could get after surviving all this (what honestly seems like hell) is a hug, because you're ashamed of me and thus I should be ashamed of who I am till the very end.

Something equally bad is Jayce finding out (or rather we finding out) how wonderful the world could look like if he let go of his beautiful dream, his life's work, and killed himself - it never gets denied, as the corruption of hextech doesn't get explained.

Long story short, if you're struggling with your mental health, trauma issues, disability or any of the problems the characters you related to deal with, this show spits you in the face.

I could go on forever about everything that's wrong (even Jinx got played dirty), but let's finish with the few things I liked: act 1 was promising (it's when I believed they could still make sense of Viktor), fun Sevika's arcade arm fight, the epic fight at the Janna's temple (Woodkid goat), Jayce killing Salo (I felt something) and Jayce's glitchy madness in general, young Vander flashback (felt something), ep7 and Singed's story (the only one that makes any sense).

Other than that the show left me with nothing but void in my heart (I guess that's when it all went). The saddest thing being the masses love it anyway, as it seems they'll watch anything that's colorful enough. And Riot will make lots of money of off it, because in the end they never loose. I'm not denying Fortiche absolutely outdid themselves with the art, it's just heartbreaking nothing else even remotely stands up to it.

[transformers-nerd-13]

As promised, here's my analysis of Transformers G1; More Than Meets the Eye; Part 1. (I'm posting my episode analyses of the three episodes separately for the sake of not making this an insanely long post because look at how long this thing already is).

We open with a narration giving us a brief overview of who the Autobots and Decepticons are.

We're introduced to Bumblebee and Wheeljack who've found some conductors (presumably energy conductors). They head back to Iacon, but are interrupted by a "Decepticon Welcoming Committee" aka the Seekers who all had different voices than the ones they end up with later for reasons that will never be explained.

Bumblebee is wounded in the battle, but we're going to ignore that because it never gets brought up again and he’s perfectly fine later. The Seekers go to report to Megatron while Wheeljack and Bumblebee make it back to Iacon. We're introduced to Soundwave and Laserbeak who are spying on the Autobots--Soundwave almost gets caught but luckily because Jazz is blind as a bat, Soundwave doesn't get caught.

Jazz reports to Optimus about a lack of energy on the planet and Optimus tells Prowl that they'll start the search mission for energy whenever Prowl is ready to launch. Cut to the Decepticons where Starscream is standing with the sassiest pose of all time and Megatron is doing the classic villain rant about how the Decepticons must find an energy source before the Autobots.

Soundwave enters and reports that the Autobots are ready to launch and Megatron says that they are also ready (I guess they had the same plan to go search for energy??). Megatron tells Shockwave that he is to stay behind and keep watch over Cybertron in the absence of literally every other Decepticon, but Shockwave assures Megatron that Cybertron will remain as he leaves it.

Starscream then decides now is a good time to whine about not being the leader of the Decepticons to which Megatron tells him that only a select few ever lead. Starscream tells Megatron that his time will come, but Megatron tells him "NEVER!!" before changing gears remarkably fast and tells...someone to prepare to blast off. (I'm assuming he was talking to Soundwave but he was looking at Starscream).

The Autobots and Decepticons launch their respective ships. But two asteroids collide causing an asteroid shower (yeah that's definitely how that works) causing all sorts of chaos including the Decepticons somehow losing their power and Jazz falling out of his chair. They get through the now suddenly very still asteroid field by using the Ark's laser gun and the Decepticons follow them. Starscream says that they should just blow the Autobots away since they've seen them, but Megatron says that he "wants to know what they're after." Um...sir? They're after energy, just like you?? I thought you knew this???

Jazz--who has gotten back into the pilot's seat off screen--reports that the cons have made a magnetic junction to the Ark and that he can't shake them. They try to use their weapons but their power is somehow already used up. The cons board the Ark where a (simply put) chaotic battle takes place. Somehow they lose control of the Ark within less than ten seconds of the cons boarding and crash into the side of a volcano and die.

Yep, they were dead.

For Four Million years.

Mhm.

Somehow the volcano erupting woke up Teletraan One and it sent out the Sky Spy (a little probe thing) that scanned some earth vehicles while the Ark rebuilt the Decepticons first (for some reason—literally no idea why it did this). Skywarp is revived first, and he revives the other Decepticons. The cons leave the Ark and Megatron declares that much time has passed and they're on a planet far from Cybertron (oh y'think? Also, how do you know? You've been dead for 4 million years!! Not to mention it took less than two minutes for you to get into space and crash on this random planet so it can't be THAT far) but their mission hasn't changed.

Skywarp asks how they know Cybertron still exists (fair question but unprompted) and Megatron says that Cybertron must exist (Lot of faith you've got in Shockwave there bub, I mean, yes, this is Shockwave we're talking about but he's just one bot--you literally left ONE Decepticon on Cybertron dude and he doesn't even know you're still alive! And how do you know that he's still alive??) and that they would gather energy from this planet to conquer Cybertron followed by the universe.

Starscream (for some reason) shoots at the Ark. Megatron tells him to save his energy, but Starscream fires a few more shots anyway, this time hitting some rocks on the side of the cliff they've been standing on that fall onto the Ark. This jostles the ship and causes Optimus to finally be noticed by Teletraan One and Teletraan is like "Oh scrap I forgot to fix the Autobots, WHOOPS" and fixes Optimus who gives Teletraan a thumbs up and a quick "Thanks".

Dunno if I'd be that chipper after being revived from death, I mean, I'd be panicking, and then I'd see my dead friends and see that the cons were gone and consider myself in some seriously deep slag so, Idk props to you for being optimistic?--Pun intended.

The cons set up a base by some tall rocks in the desert that are literally RIGHT NEXT TO A ROAD. Robots in disguise my boron compressor! Soundwave prepares plans for a new space cruiser (I guess in addition to being the communications officer Soundwave is also an aerospace engineer??) while Starscream is told to convert the area for construction and is told to "use his imagination" when it came to materials.

Starscream does NOT however use his imagination, he uses Soundwave's. He asks Soundwave if he has any ideas, and Soundwave points out a conveniently placed...radio tower? Power station? Truly have no idea what this is. We're introduced to Rumble and Soundwave instructs him to activate his pile-drivers, but Rumble doesn't do that because Starscream takes off for the radio-power plant thing.

Cut back over to the Autobots who have all been revived off screen. Optimus tells them that this planet is rich with sources of energy but that the Decepticons must already know this because Teletraan One woke them up first (thanks a lot Teletraan), so they must find the cons and stop them. Prime sends Hound and CliffJumper to go find the cons even though Cliffjumper wants to "boot some Decepticon right in his turbocharger" (whatever that means; probably ‘kick some con’s butt’). Cut back over to the cons where we see Starscream, Rumble and Soundwave landing at the power-radio tower thing and Starscream (unprompted) tells Rumble that some day he'll be the one calling the shots, but Rumble basically says "ha ha yeah right" and Starscream tells him that he will find a way to beat Megatron but Rumble is doubtful of that. Rumble then finally activates his pile-drivers and splits the ground a bit causing some of the machinery at the plant to fall into it halfway and Starscream says that he's impressed by this. You must be very easily impressed sir.

Cut over to CliffJumper and Hound. Hound says that he smells something and that he thinks he's just found the Decepticons (so you weren't following a scent trail before this?? You were just driving around praying you found something?? Also do the Decepticons smell different than Autobots?? How do you know it's the Decepticons and not other Autobots???) and tells CliffJumper to follow him but they stop literally two seconds later (the "follow me" was unnecessary, you could've left it at "I think we've just found the cons" and it would've been completely fine lol) having stumbled upon the Decepticon's half constructed base? Space cruiser? Really not clear what this is meant to be here. CliffJumper wants to fight but Hound reminds him that Prime just told them to find the cons. Right now the cons think the bots are dead; it's better to have them think that they're dead at the moment for the sake of the element of surprise.

Hound uses a little satellite dish in his arm to listen in on the cons who are conveniently monologuing their whole evil plan about plundering earth's resources for energy and turning that energy into energon cubes (which were a Decepticon invention in G1) and the new space cruiser.

Off screen, Cliffjumper has assembled a giant gun (where the hell was he storing that?? I'm just gonna say it was in his subspace) and says that he's "Got Megatron dead center in his viewfinder." And fires. And misses.

Dead center huh?

The cons wonder who could be firing on them and Starscream immediately says that the Autobots could be the only ones firing on them. Starscream. Buddy. As far as you know, the bots are dead. How is this the first logical conclusion you come to??

Soundwave sends Laserbeak to investigate and Cliff and Hound make a run--or, more accurately, roll--for it. Good job Cliff. Apparently neither CliffJumper nor Hound have ever seen Laserbeak before?? Cliff asks Hound “What is that thing up there?” And Hound replies that he doesn’t know. I feel like they would've seen him at some point when the war was still on Cybertron? Idk.

Anyway, CliffJumper and Hound split up because Laserbeak can only follow one of them, right? WRONG. Apparently Laserbeak can detach his guns from his body and still be in control of them??? So he sends one of his blasters after Cliff, who defeats the blaster with some mockery and the fumes from his exhaust which make the blaster explode for some reason.

Laserbeak shoots Hound and causes him to tumble down a cliff in the most dramatic way possible.

During the commercial break, CliffJumper apparently found Hound at the bottom of the ravine/cliff and went back to the Ark to get help in the form of Ratchet and Grapple, who would never again be referred to as "Hauler". Cliff apologizes to Hound for firing on the cons and getting them caught, but Hound tells him "You shouldn't have missed you mean" with a good natured laugh which makes Cliff feel better about the situation.

Yes, this is a nice moment, but Hound is unknowingly supporting CliffJumper’s reckless nature in the future. Cliff directly disobeyed an order from Prime and one of his teammates got hurt because of it. This would've been a learning opportunity for Cliff if Hound hadn't laughed it off.

Cut over to Thundercracker and the Reflector triplets talking about how they couldn't believe the Autobots survived before Thundercracker spots something out in the desert which just looks like a dust cloud. Somehow Thundercracker changes positions to be on the ground almost right in front of the van/truck so that it’s driving directly at him when he's taking a picture of the van/truck using Reflector's camera Alt Mode (how three bots transform and combine to form ONE camera that fits in the palm of a Transformer I will never know; I guess mass shifting?) instead of on the cliff he was on seconds before when taking the picture of it and after he takes the picture he's suddenly back on the cliff?? Thundercracker reports the vehicle to Soundwave saying it might be an Autobot. Soundwave sends Ravage to investigate for some reason even though Thundercracker and the Reflector triplets are right there.

The vehicle belongs to two guys in matching outfits with yellow hard hats so what exactly their jobs are remain ambiguous. The two men go to the radio/power plant thing that Rumble wrecked earlier, and they comment on how it looks like a tornado hit the place and that something feels wrong.

That's when Ravage attacks them for seemingly no reason and sends them running, and we never see those two guys again.

Cut to the Ark where Hound has just finished reporting what he and Cliff found to Prime as Ratchet fixes him up. Jazz and Sideswipe are also in the scene for some reason. Optimus tells Jazz to organize a battle unit and Jazz takes that to mean 'get every Autobot'. This is the cartoon's way of introducing the other Autobots to the viewer as Jazz calls out their names as they Transform and Roll out. This is a good way to introduce the characters, but it would've been more effective if each bot got their own shot so that it’s clear that the name being called belonged to the autobot on screen. But it was the 80’s so I’m not gonna harp on this too much.

Cut over to the Decepticons where Soundwave is reporting to Megatron that Laserbeak found a source of energy (apparently he sent Laserbeak to go find energy sources off screen).

Cut over to an oil rig where we meet Spike, Sparkplug, and a handful of other unnamed humans who are all wearing the same outfit of a white button up, blue jeans and yellow hard hats that we won't see again until Dr. Archevil (no idea how you spell his name; that weird cyborg scientist) shows up. The Decepticons land on the oil rig and all the humans decide to start throwing random stuff at them which proves ineffective (like seriously what did they think throwing tiny pipes and wrenches at giant robots was going to do??) and Megatron calmly picks up a giant metal tube and tosses it at four of the unnamed humans, and all of those humans end up in the ocean below, never to be seen again.

Rumble pins Sparkplug to the wall (I had no other way to say that, get your minds out of the gutter) and Spike punches Rumble in the back which does nothing but annoy Rumble who shoves him away in response (I'm betting that hitting Rumble hurt Spike more than it hurt Rumble). I guess Sparkplug must have some super strength because he kicks Rumble off him and dives after Spike who apparently ended up in the ocean after Rumble hit him.

The Decepticons make some energon cubes that really look like folded towels out of some of the oil stored in the rig.

Starscream gets all excited saying that they can go back to Cybertron, but Megatron bursts his bubble by telling him that this is only a fraction of the energy they need. The Autobots (who could fly I guess) show up. The bots land and everyone is firing at each other with the aim of a Stormtrooper.

The bots and cons duke it out on the oil rig and I guess someone knocked out Ratchet at some point because he's just...on the ground?? The cons get away with their Energon cubes/towels, shooting the oil rig to send the Autobots into the ocean below, and Megatron shoots two of the oil containers on the sinking rig which blow up and now the ocean is on fire?? (If someone knows the science behind this please tell me in the comments because I don't know if this is actually plausible or not) as they make their getaway.

After the cons leave, Prime hears Spike and Sparplug calling for help because they got trapped behind some debris and goes to rescue them. 

And that was Episode One of the Transformers. Overall a very silly episode but it's an 80's cartoon so what're you gonna do? It’s definitely the episode of G1 that I’ve watched the most and while it doesn’t always make sense, it’s a very fun watch.

Anyways, I hope this was enjoyable! I’ll probably be posting my analysis on More Than Meets the Eye Part 2 sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, stay tuned!

[rhymeswithchronic]

*shimmies up to the mic*

*gently taps on it*

*clears throat*

Episode 6 just solidified PvP Civ as being better then Parkour Civ

*runs away as fast as possible*

OKAY LISTEN I will literally commit war crimes for EMF, my scrungly, and Parkour God Evbo, but to be perfectly honest most of the things that make the characters so lovable is headcanon or fanon. Parkour Civ is loved for the story, the light hearted nature and humor, ~the yaoi potential~ and the messages

Episode 6 alone has just solidified almost the entire cast of PvP Civ as individual, thought out characters. Really, the only one in ParkCiv with that kind of thought was Seawatt, with his tragic motivations followed by his death.

Parrot and Tabi have become SO MUCH MORE interesting because of the reveals, and I think Tabi has just immediately become one of my favorites because she’s just so INTERESTING. Someone who is so determined to reach a goal that she doesn’t care if she kills people in her way, but who also consciously *did not permanently kill Evbo despite having the ability to do so*. There’s still SOMETHING there that caused her to use the axe instead of the Eternal Sword, and THAT is the part of her that I think is truly her.

She was talking to someone towards the beginning (our great Parkour Villain himself can’t wait for PvP Villain ClownPierce) but there was something off about their conversation. Clown suggests that she shouldn’t be the one to do this because she’s younger and she “doesn’t deserve to die yet”. Something about their plan does not end well for the one who has to carry it out. Tabi is doing something and possibly sacrificing herself in the process.

Now here’s the thing: Why did she kill Evbo at all?

It could be for the reason that is presented to us. Because she doesn’t care about him. Because he was a tool she used to get what she needed and she didn’t care what had to happen to him for her to get there. She only brought up the literal torture he suffered FOR HER as a way to manipulate him further into following her orders, and now he’s just an obstacle

But that *doesn’t make sense*

If he was just an obstacle, WHY did she let him respawn? We can assume she didn’t know that Prince Zam was waiting since if she wanted Evbo to be killed and not respawn, she easily could’ve done that herself. But she DIDNT. She actively chose to use her axe on him and let him respawn. She has to know that Evbo is going to come after her. She has to know that Evbos continued existence, especially as a Natural Born Sword, is detrimental to their plan. She knows this and she chose to use her axe anyway

That leaves us with the other possible reason:

Tabi did it to SAVE Evbo

Hear me out on this. Talking about her discussion with Clown, here’s how it goes:

“Let me be the one to do it. You have a longer life that I do, and you don’t deserve to die yet.”

“We’re all gonna die if we don’t get that sword, and you know I’m the only one good enough to get it.”

Clown suggests here that somehow, this plan will end up with someone dying. He is offering himself because she “has a longer life”, which could mean he’s older and has lower durability than her, or something else entirely, but that’s up in the air.

Tabi is SMART. She knows exactly what she’s doing and why. She knows that there’s a solid chance that she will die, but she’s willing to risk that for immortality. “We’re all gonna die”? Because of the other kingdoms?

Whatever it is, whatever she meant, she did not want Evbo as a part of this. She told him to move first. Attacking was not her first priority. She didn’t want to kill him, but she knew one thing:

Evbo could not go with her.

If she stayed true to her word, if she left together with Evbo, she knew he would want to stay with her. He would stay by her side no matter what. And she just couldn’t bare the idea of leading Evbo to his own death from their plan. Maybe she was hoping giving her the time to flee would allow the Diamond Swords to convince Evbo to not leave at all. Not like it would take much convincing (in her eyes) since he was already attached. Inside of the civilization is the safest place for someone as trusting and naive as him. She wanted to keep him safe, and if he came with her, the same thing that would kill her would end up killing him.

Tabi killed Evbo to save him I rest my case

[kittymizuki]

thinking about the kamikou festival event again and how it conveys the tone and atmosphere of the school while showing the constant transmisogyny microaggressions mizuki lives with every day so well, and this phone call with an drives me insane bc even though an is genuinely well-meaning and is trying to ensure that mizuki knows that today is a safe day for her to come to school due to the circumstances of the festival, the way she words this is very discomforting bc she's basically saying "nobody is going to notice that you're dressed as a girl today bc everyone is wearing wacky outfits!" which carries the unfortunate implication that the way mizuki presents herself is equally wacky in a way that reinforces everything ppl say about her, but this isn't easy for her to push back against bc she doesn't have a good enough 'excuse' to do so when this is one of the few ppl who go out of their way to accommodate her even if they don't fully get it? it's thoughtful of an to want to reassure her but also it's another little thing that others fail to understand. she's trying to be kind but even then mizuki feels somewhat pushed into a corner. she's very bad at actively saying No. and an has removed her ability to misdirect here bc an is speaking with ambiguity.

mizuki also being too anxious about the idea of changing her clothes in school bc she's terrified of the possibility of being caught and thus having her body perceived by others... that's also another reason she'd hate being at school. gym and changing for it … i'd wager mizuki skips almost every gym class bc she can't stand the idea of being forced to change amidst boys, but she's also not allowed into the girls' locker room… literally only has the option to go to the roof if she wants to change. she's so hyper cognizant of her body and being seen … and the worst part is, she likes to be seen under her own circumstances and control (which is one of the many reasons she's very passionate abt fashion, and a lot of trans ppl in fiction tend to have an attachment to fashion and styling which makes a lot of sense bc of the element of control over one's appearance and making a self one can love). she really does. it just … happens that she knows she has so little control.

i've read the vbs main story (and a bit of their events but i need to continue whoops) and this makes me appreciate mizuki's brief interaction with kohane and an here more, bc it's obvious in this moment that kohane is just being her usual self—anxious around other ppl she's not familiar with and this is something she wants to improve upon (which as far as i can tell is the conceit of her character arc as an underdog of sorts compared to the others in her group). but mizuki assumes that she has to be uncomfortable with her specifically (presumably due to her transness) bc of her experiences, so she immediately feels bad about 'taking up space' and decides to make up an excuse to get away from the situation to give kohane the chance to comfortably hang out with her friend. and the fact that mizuki goes out of her way to say that she's going to find a place to hide alone is interesting bc the way it's framed it doesn't sound like it means much, but it feels deliberate on her part, like she wants an to know... mizuki's internal world and where we see she has internal bias and how she blames herself or assumes she herself is the problem if she can't make others comfortable, and she takes so much upon herself all the time bc she's used to constant microaggressions and either can't say how she truly feels or has to divest what she feels from its context to make it palatable. but of course kohane is not transphobic, she is someone who has trouble socializing with strangers bc of her own anxiety that has nothing to do with mizuki herself, but mizuki doesn't have access to this perspective like the reader so it's easy for her to assume that she's the problem. it's paranoia but it's understandable considering how she's treated by almost everyone...

[cicaklah]

get ready for my thoughts on yaoi UBI

So I’ve kvetched about UBI in the tags for long enough someone finally asked me what I was going on about so here we go! 

I will start with some caveats: 

I am British, and so I can only speak about the British specifics.

I have for the past twelve years worked as a professional health economist, and health economics is based on social welfare theory (specifically growing out of Arrow’s work in the 1960s and Sen’s work in the 80s/90s). I literally could talk forever about this, but I won’t. If you want to know more, read the pretty good wikipedia article on welfare economics.

But fundamental to welfare economics is two things: if we make a great big change, do the benefits outweigh the costs? And does the change make a fundamental change for good? (aka cost-benefit analysis and pareto efficiency).

The other thing you need to know about me is that I don’t like activists very much, because they never have to show their working, and my entire professional life is showing my working, and critiquing other people’s working. We all have ideas mate, show me the plan! I love a plan! and this isn't coming from anything but personal experience; I have been to talks by UBI activists before, including ones by economists, but I have never had the case made to me that UBI would be either cost-beneficial OR approach pareto efficient. In fact, it usually reminds me of arguments that are based on some other imaginary world, and then I get so annoyed I want to scream. 

In the early 2010s when I was first starting working as an economist, I was asked to build a model to see whether switching a disability benefit from government administered to individual administration would be cost-effective. Essentially, if you were newly in a wheelchair and you needed a ramp building up to your house, would it be better for the government to organise a contractor, or for you to be given a cash transfer and organise it yourself? The answer was that it wasn’t, but anyone who has ever had to hire a builder could have told you that, and the government didn’t have to pay my firm £30,000 to make that decision. But that is what UBI essentially is; a cash transfer where you get cash and the government gets to enjoy less responsibility.

There are 37.5 million people of working age in England. (Nearly) every single working person gets what's called a tax free allowance, where the government doesn’t claim income tax on the first £12,570. (Once you make over £120k, your allowance starts to decrease, and you lose it entirely at I think £150k)

Let’s assume that instead of just not claiming tax on this amount, the government switched to making that £12,570 your UBI. That is £471,375,000,000 just for England - just under half a trillion pounds. In cash, or nearest as in our modern economy. And not one off - Every year. 

Okay, let's say that the country does have a spare half a trillion a year (in cash) lying around. What is the benefit to switching from tax free allowance to UBI? Well, let's assume that no one stops working, so there would be the tax receipts from the 20% income tax on the £12,570, and that’s just a shade under £100 million. Not bad.

But if you’ve seen a UBI post, you will know that people like the idea because they will be able to work less. Which probably means that UBI will need to be paid for in some other way. Perhaps by cutting existing benefits. The universal credit cost is around £100 billion. So we’re still £300 billion short, and honestly, you wouldn’t cut all of universal credit anyway, probably only the unemployment benefits, but I’m not digging into the maths on that tonight. 

But, look, I am sympathetic. I am a welfarist. I genuinely believe that the economy is not just money, that welfare is happiness, it is utility, it is all the stuff that makes life worth living, and it is the responsibility of the government to maximise the welfare/happiness/utility/quality of life of the country through efficient use of taxation and other sources of money. So people give the government money and it spends it on goods and services and then people get utility, and then they spend their own money to get more utility, and ultimately we can gain intangible things that are incredibly valuable. 

But the problem is that cash is cash, cold and hard and very real. I don’t know how unlimited spare time translates into half a trillion real pound coins. I wouldn’t know how to build a model that complex and uncertain, especially as this all assumes that you can live on 12k a year, and that whatever replaces progressive taxation is equally progressive. I haven’t even touched on how having a convoluted welfare state insures it somewhat against being entirely destroyed after a change in political opinions, aka what I call the daily mail test. You think the narrative about people on welfare is bad now? But also, how would you deal with people who didn’t manage their UBI money well? What happens if there is a personal crisis?

The more I look at it, the more the existing system is actually remarkably good value for money. Individualism is expensive. Collective decision making and spending is just cheaper. 

Ultimately I don’t see the additional benefit of UBI, requiring a pie in the sky change, when it is far, far, far more cost effective to strengthen the existing regime across the board; taxation law, social safety net, childcare, working laws, education and health - all systems that are already in place, and have a thousand times higher likelihood to be pareto optimal and cost effective than trying to find half a trillion pounds of cash round the back of the sofa, while torching 150 years of progress so middle class people can write their book without having to have a job. If I was conspiracy minded I would say that UBI feels like a psy-op, trying to shut down old fashioned progress in favour of ripping it all out and starting again.

Ultimately, that is my real annoyance. It is far, far, far cheaper for the government to provide you with your new ramp for your house, and that is done through politics, but not fun moonshot politics, the hard shit that isn’t sexy.