#literally when my mom my husband and i have dinner with my brother's family

[justalittlebluetiefling]

In other news, I’m looking at my new niece’s birth chart and we’re the same but opposite, because I’m a Virgo Sun Pisces Moon and she’s a Pisces Sun Virgo Moon. I just think that’s neat.

[rafaslittleboy]

older & wiser

big brother! sonny carisi x reader

summary: sonny overhears a private conversation between yourself and your older cousin mia about lack of self pleasuring tools and decides to take it upon himself to help you (ft. a dick mould that he got for his first year of college as a joke… but it comes in handy).

warnings: brother-sibling incest, use of small vibrator, clit play, reader isn’t gendered but has clit & vagina, kissing, fingering, sonny uses a very special dildo on you 😉

special thanks to the love of my literal life @noellawrites for editing this majorly for me. love you forever ❤️

Sonny nursed half of a beer can as he listened to his sisters talk, zoning in and out of their conversations. Baby talk, gossip about co-workers, talking about the ‘bad’ stuff their husbands have done (lack of washing dishes, not doing laundry—stuff the husbands should have been doing). Uninteresting conversations, to say the least. Nothing he could relate to.

His own relationship with Amanda had been… not the best. She was a piece of work and treated him like crap most days. Sonny thought being with her could settle some of his own internal thoughts, help him move on from someone that he really shouldn’t be falling for.

“Sonny, be an angel and go n’ tell ‘em both that dinner’s almost finished, you know how those two can be,” his mom told him as she pulled out a casserole from the oven, steam wafting in her face.

Sonny let out a strangled grunt as he sat up and placed his open can on the coffee table. He was getting old and any sudden movement strained his muscles—all those years running around as a detective really caught up to him now that his job is to sit down at a desk all day.

It had been a while since the whole family had come together. So many scheduling conflicts and Sonny’s hectic schedule always changing at the last minute; you never got to see your brother. Still living at home, you never got to see any of your siblings because they were far older than you—your oldest sister was in her fifties, while you were in your early twenties.

“--oh god, Mia,” your voice was heard through the cracked door, and he frowned at first but stayed behind the door to listen in. “That’s so embarrassing!”

“Oh my god,” she gasped, “is this what you use?” and a giggle followed afterwards. “It’s so small!”

Your face burned with embarrassment, “can we put it back now?” and you reached out to grab the tiny matte black vibrator but she held it back just enough that you couldn’t grab it from her hand.

“This is like… travel sized, I bring something like this with me on road trips.”

You groaned again, “please just give it back, it’s making me feel weird seeing it in the light.”

Mia finally gave in and tossed it back to you, “you should get a real one, something that can actually get you off. Like a boyfriend, to begin with,”

“Mom doesn’t want me to date yet,” Sonny hears a drawer open and close, “she says that ‘I’m her last baby and she wants me to do things right because everyone else didn’t’.”

“Like fuck?” Mia said, and he heard you groan. “Come on, it’s your life. She can’t tell you what to do.”

“I know, I know. I just… don’t want to go against her wishes.”

“You know, you could do other things with guys. When I started college, me and this guy jerked each other off—technically, that wasn’t having sex.”

Sonny frowned, he didn’t really exactly want to know about Mia’s sexual escapades and he should have really just told you both that dinner was ready–but something was stopping him. The buried, perverted part of him wanted to hear; but only for what you had to say.

Sonny knew it was weird, having these taboo feelings towards you. He tried to ignore the fact that he had watched you grow up and was still attracted to you. But with you in your twenties and single, he truthfully believed no one was good for you other than himself. That he was your soulmate.

That’s why he kept it all dead and buried. Secretly, behind all of his ADA work and previous detective work, he went against all of his own morals to harbor feelings towards his baby sibling. He was a pervert and he knew it.

“... Maybe,” you exhaled, “I just—the guy I want has a girlfriend, or is about to, anyway. I don’t just want to do something with just anyone. I want him.” Your voice trailed off into something Sonny identified as sadness.

Your reply had Sonny frowning again in thought. Who were you talking about? From the information from his sisters and mother about you, you weren’t seeing or talking to anyone. If you were to tell any of your sisters anything about your personal–personal life, you would always tell Bella. And unfortunately for you, if Sonny wanted to get any information from his little sister, she was the weakest link and would tell him with little pressure.

Who exactly were you referring to? The perverted side of him hoped it was him you liked.

After a while, Sonny decided he had been lingering long enough and was getting hungry. He stood straight and cleared his throat, opening your door.

“What’re you two doin’ up here?” as if he didn’t just listen to your whole conversation.

“Nothing,” Mia said with a stifled smile, “just… small talk,” and then she laughed and you pushed her shoulder in an attempt to get her to shut up. Your face went a few shades darker with embarrassment and you couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Anyway, mom said dinner’s ready.” Sonny said, “‘ya better get down there before it’s all gone, ‘ya know how our sisters are.”

Mia got up first and her wide smile didn’t falter as she left, ducking under Sonny’s extended arm.

“You comin’?”

“Yeah,” you forced a smile, and half of it was genuine. You got up off your bed and followed down the stairs behind your big brother.

—

For the next few days, Sonny couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He saw you reaching for salad dressing and thought about you using that tiny vibrator to desperately get yourself off. You needed a real cock, someone who really knew how to pleasure you. And he knew it had to be him, your own big brother, as he jerked himself off in his childhood bedroom right next to yours in the middle of the night.

–

“Sonny, hey,” you said softly as you sat up, closing the lid of your laptop and pushing it off to the side.

It was late at night, nearing midnight and you were working on an essay for school before you put it off for too long and had to write the whole paper in one night before it was due.

“Jus’ wanted to check in on you,” he said, and he walked forward and sat down on the edge of your bed. “You uh… you doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m okay.” you reply, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, kiddo. I, uh, I got a gift for ‘ya,” he says, giving you a little half-smile.

From behind his back, Sonny pulls out a wrapped gift, slightly smaller than a shoe box.

“Wh-what—?”

“Jus’ open it, baby,” he urges, placing it in your hands. You follow his lead, pulling the ribbon off and unwrapping the box. You look up at him briefly before opening the lid. What you see inside almost makes your heart stop.

“Dude—“ your eyes widened at the object in the box. a dildo, a really real dildo, staring back at you. it was a deep peach color that faded to a red at the tip.

“Why?”

“…Mia might’ve said somethin’ to me,” he fabricated, it was the only excuse he had, really. And it wasn’t as if you were going to go and ask her, either. “About your… uh… lack of experience.”

“Oh, god,” you put your head in your hands to avoid looking at him. “She shouldn’t have told you anything, I shouldn’t have even told her about it.”

“Gotta tell ya, I’m a little upset.” Sonny placed the toy back inside the padded box and placed it away from you both. You peeked over your fingertips to look at him. “Would’a thought you would’ve come to me ‘bout all this.”

“Well… you’re my brother, I just thought you’d… I don’t know, judge me.”

Sonny tuts, “in my line of work, kid? I’m more approachable than our sista’s.” And he’s right, because you didn’t go to your sisters or your parents–Mia only found out by pure accident and a slip of the tongue.

“I—I guess so.” you say, lowering your eyes to the ground.

When Sonny lifts up your chin with his finger, your eyes meeting his in an oddly intimate gaze.

“I wanna help ‘ya, baby.”

“I dunno, Sonny. You’re… my brother,” you sigh.

“I’ll lock tha’ door, kid. ‘Ya ain’t gotta worry, hm? Jus’ gonna be between me ‘n you.” he hums.

He doesn’t wait for your response, hands moving to your sides and shimmying down your underwear.

As much as you hated to admit it, his touches drove you crazy. He looked at you so tenderly and it made your pussy throb. You never knew that your own older brother could make you feel so sexually charged.

“How’s this feelin’, baby?” he coos, running one finger up and down your slit while his other hand rests on your tummy.

“‘S-s’ good, Sonny,” you whimper, reminding Sonny of all those sweet moments you’ve shared as siblings. And now, you were moving so far away from that.

Sonny watched as your pussy juice dripped onto your bedding, leaving a little damp spot below you.

“Where’s ‘ya lil’ toy?” he asks, glancing at your bedside table.

“Uh–um…” you blush, reaching under your pillow and pulling out the tiny toy he’d seen you and Mia looking at a few days before.

He takes it from you gently, smiling as he goes back down to your pussy. He moves the bullet to your clit and savors your reaction, hips jutting upward as he presses the ‘on’ button.

“oh—Sonnnyy,” you moan, head falling back onto your pillow. Your older brother was making you feel better than you ever had, doing the same exact thing you’d tried countless times before.

Sonny moves the bullet downwards, inching it into your entrance as you gasp and try to keep yourself quiet. He slides it in and you can feel tears escaping your eyes at the blissful feeling of being fucked.

Then, the bullet died. You raised your head just enough to let out a single sob of discomfort, your eyebrows furrowing and thighs falling even further because of said discomfort. Your hips shimmy to get any sort of feeling back on your sensitive bud.

“Hey… s��alright,” Sonny said as he placed it on your nightstand, “I can use my fingers, see?”

Within a few seconds, Sonny had one fingertip on the outside of your underwear and was circling your clit in slow strokes. He heard you sigh in relief due to the brief absence of pleasure in your little bud. His fingertip was firmer than the plastic vibrator, you could feel the difference and preferred his fingers more.

Sonny was loving it more than he expected. Pleasuring you and making you feel good awoke something in him, and he never wanted to go back in holding back his feelings for you.

He used his free hand to turn your face so he could press a soft kiss on your lips, and your mind was so clouded that you kissed him back without a second thought. You let your own hidden thoughts and feelings about your older brother take charge (like they did when you touched yourself, but this time, you didn’t feel disgusted while it happened). Sonny’s lips were soft and by god he knew how to kiss, taking charge immediately and opening your mouth to him.

Sonny swallowed your sound of disappointment when he took his fingertips off your swollen clit and then he swallowed your moan when the same fingertips slid down to your dripping slit, feeling up and down the arousal he caused.

“S’this for me?” he asked against your lips and you nodded, “fuck–yeah, you–it’s for you,” and he smiled at your response. You’re so desperate.

When he reached for the toy, you were disappointed. You didn’t know why you expected him to pull himself out and fuck you; this whole time with him was supposed to be him teaching you how to use the toy he got you.

He placed the tip against you and slid it through your folds, your wetness coating his huge head. He bit his plump lip and his eyebrows furrowed together, now he was really imagining it being his cock–you were incredibly wet and he wanted to swap places with his molded cock.

“Shh, it’s just the head, you can take it,”

Sonny began slowly fucking you with the dildo, bringing it out until only the tip was inside you, to pushing it all the way back in until it barely kissed your cervix.

“That’s it,” he cooed, “just take it, relax…”

He smoothed his palm over your tummy and sprawled out his fingers. Sonny closed his eyes and tried—and he really did try—to imagine it was him inside you, making you make those little noises, making you feel good. To imagine pushing inside you and feeling your warm and wet hole contract around him.

Technically, it was. It was him inside you, making you feel so good.

You were taking his cock, despite it being a silicone copy. You were taking it like a champ, half of it being able to fill you and he knew that if he trained you enough you would be able to take all of it. Maybe that’s another activity he can do with you.

Sonny moved so he was between your legs and your eyes were transfixed to the very hard bulge in his gray sweatpants. Your pupils dilated even more and your mouth filled with saliva, legs spreading just a little more with pure want. You felt your insides throb at the thought of him inside you and you wanted nothing more than his body weight on top of you and his hard cock thrusting inside you until he was satisfied.

Your small hand wrapped around his wrist and he looked at you with soft, yet lust-blown eyes, “can I… can I see yours?”

It was a question he never expected you to ask him. He had obviously worked you up so much that lust had clouded your mind and you asked for what you wanted.

“You sure?” His hand rubs your bare thigh, and you felt the warmth from his palm on your burning skin and all you wanted was more. Your big brother’s fingers inside you again, and your eyes were locked onto the bulge in his sweatpants and your mouth watered at the idea of doing more than seeing it—but you had decorum (what was left, anyway) and you didn’t have the confidence to ask him to put it in your mouth.

“Yeah,” your voice came out as a hoarse whisper and you watched as Sonny’s thick and long fingers went to the waistband of his sweats and pulled down just enough that his cock slipped out and bobbed at the extra room–no longer being confined–and he heard your audible gulp at your first sighting at his very real, very erect cock.

Sonny hoped you didn’t recognise the shape as he held his sex-toy-copy in his spare hand, but he watched as you tore your eyes from it and to his face; “it’s… big,” is all you said.

“Can I touch it?” You licked your bottom lip.

Without answering, Sonny took your limp wrist and placed your loose hand on his cock, your fingers curling around his thick cock and he groaned at the first contact. Your head tipped to rest on his shoulder as you familiarized yourself with his cock, fingers tightening and your fingertips just barely touching.

“I bet you get all the girls and guys,” you smile lazily, eyes half lidded as your teeth bite your bottom lip. You wanted nothing more than for that to be inside you instead.

“Ya’ jealous?” He smirks and rubs the tip of the toy against your opening, sliding it up to your clit then back down again, teasing you.

As you muffle your moan and tug on his cock, Sonny decides that he has to fuck you one way or another—and right then, he wanted to fuck you with the toy. He wanted you somewhat used to having something big inside you before he even thought about convincing you to let him guide his cock inside you and fuck you hard and soft.

“Fuck–jesus, oh my god,” your back arched slightly as he thrust the tip inside you, already pushing you to the edge. He moved his wrist slowly, working you open enough to be able to take the tip of the toy. Sonny had been playing with you for so long that he had your body hyper-sensitive and aching for an orgasm. “Sonny–it’s big–really big–”

Sonny smiled down at you and continued to softly fuck you with it. A soft squelching filled the room and his cock twitched in your loose grip, your fist squeezing down on it lightly when the tip entered you and hit against the spongy spot inside you that you could never reach on your own without an intense arm workout that ultimately failed in the end anyway.

Sonny brought his other hand down to your wet clit and used the pad of his thumb to rub small circles on it, making it impossible to hold the moan that was caught in your throat. It was louder than you thought and Sonny gave you a warning look. Too loud meant that either of you could be caught doing what you were doing and it would’ve been a horrible event to explain.

“Shh, baby… ya need’a be quiet, need’a keep ya tone down. I know m’ makin’ ya feel good.”

You nodded, letting out a really shaky sigh and closing your eyes as Sonny pleasured you. You had to bite your tongue when Sonny slid more of the toy inside you and put more pressure on your clit. “Sonny—” you whined, clenching your eyes shut.

You could feel an orgasm creeping up on you, and it felt different since it wasn’t yourself that was causing it. It was someone else, and more importantly, it was your big brother; The Big Bad ADA. It turned you on more than you’d like to admit, being fucked by a dildo by your own brother while you held his heavy, large cock in your hand and jerked him off the best you could while you were feeling so fucking good.

The pace of the dildo-fucking changed, and you felt it punching inside your wet pussy harder and just a little bit faster and god, you felt so full. You didn’t know how much you were taking of the toy, but it felt like a lot. You wanted to scream that it felt so good, but all you let out was a frustrated, muffled moan held back by your lips.

“Like that, baby? S’it feelin’ good when I fuck ya like this?” His mock-baby-voice and cooing made you feel as if you were a puddle, and you nodded in response. Your hips tried their best to thrust back on the toy, but everything you were feeling was building and building and building into something you couldn’t handle.

You nodded as he fucked you with it even harder and managed to fit at least half of it inside you, leaving a white cream every time he pulled it from inside you and a little damp patch on your blanket with just how wet you were. Your legs shook as he kept it up, his thumb on your clit rubbing hard and fast and the toy punching inside of you had you teetering on the edge and he felt it. Your fist squeezed tight around his cock.

It hit you fast and hard, a few more hard circles from his thumb onto your swollen clit had your tight walls squeezing so hard on the toy inside you, taking only seconds for him to make you cum—hard.

Your fingers squeezed down on his cock as you experienced the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had in your life, little spurts leaving your puffy pussy as he fucked the cock into you. The pressure of your fingers along with being painfully hard and turned on allowed Sonny to thrust into your hand and groan deep from his chest as he came. His hot, milky cum shot from the head of his cock and landed on your thighs, pussy and abdomen.

Sonny slumped down on an arm on top of you, breathing hard as he came down from his high and his cock jerking in your loose grip, getting the last bits of himself out and onto your hot, sweat-slicked skin. He let go of the toy inside you and let the tip stay inside you, your bottom half twitching in the aftermath.

“Christ, kid,” Sonny chuckled, wetting his dry lips. “Ya really wrung me out t’dry.”

You let out a breathy laugh along with him and kissed him, because god did you need it. Need him. In your state of mind, you didn’t care about any consequences. You loved your big brother and you were confident he definitely loved you back.

The kiss was sloppy, drool leaving the corner of your mouth as you moaned into each other. Sonny reached between you to slowly slide the toy out from inside you and used his fingers to touch your very oversensitive pussy, swallowing your gasp.

“Came real hard, didn’t ya?” He smiled against your lips, leaning his head back enough to look into your dazed eyes. You smiled and pushed his face away, “don’t get all ‘high horse’ on me, counselor.”

He kissed you again, “next time, it ain’t gonna be the toy.”

And god, you wanted nothing more than that.

[artdcnaldson]

you’ve really done it this time with step brother patrick i can’t believe my life…… heres some half baked thoughts from the past few hours may they bring u inspo/entertainment 🫶🏻

watched the gossip girl episode where blair gets drunk at the burlesque club and gets up on stage to do a strip tease- need to do that after a fight with “our” mother / douchebag boyfriend and have patrick get all huffy and protective and act like he’s a good guy that’s concerned about you as he pulls you off stage but frantically jerks off to it the second you’re tucked in and his bedroom door is shut

asking him to unzip your dress / put on a necklace for you and making eye contact in the mirror

i know family dinners get heated when it’s the holidays….need to steal a cake and escape to the kitchen pantry with him while your mother screams at your dad for bringing his college aged fiancée to dinner while her current husband sips his whiskey and plots a way to blame it on patrick somehow

need to kick him under the table and have him grab my foot and grind into it😁

i know he insists on using your bathroom for literally no reason. then doesn’t use it. like just stands there on his phone and stares at you through the door and you make eye contact then both go back on your phones saying nothing every time it happens. i DO think about that person that said that he would piss through your legs as you’re pissing like it isn’t a big deal doesn’t even really acknowledge it as u sit there mouth open and after 2 minutes you’re like USE YOUR FUCKING BATHROOM YOU HAVE YOUR OWN and he just laughs from his room

overhearing patrick’s dad yelling at him for hours downstairs when you’re in your room and knowing it must be bad when pat doesn’t even slam his door when he finally retreats to his room…..giving him an hour before you sneak in and wrap yourself around him, give him a lingering kiss on his shoulder and a squeeze as he slides his fingers in between yours. “sorry your day sucked.” “wasn’t all bad.” him giving a sneaky little side eye as you swipe your pinky down his nose and he nips at your wrist

knowing you’re completely fucked when you go to his room and mess around but end up like. making a fort and laughing at nothing all night and when you wake up with your legs tangled ur like whyyyyy could we not have just fucked now i LIKE this guy which is infinitely worse

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8muiIcSCLL/?igsh=MTAzejJ4M3AxbnVibQ==

this is after u kick him down the stairs bc he like. did that guy thing where they ram their thumb into a random soft spot on ur body. doesn’t deter him at all

I miss stepbrother patrick so bad rn </3 i need him, I need the chaos and the wanting <3

He gets under your skin so bad, he hates that you sneak into his room and steal his shirts and things. You like his CD collection, he thinks he’s actually fixing your shitty top-40 taste. You wear his shirts and hoodies and return them to his hamper smelling all sweet like your bath and body works perfume. When you sit on his bed with him and share cigarettes you ash them in a ceramic bowl you made in elementary school that you shaped and painted like a turtle. It ends up staying on his bedside table permanently.

And everyone knows that you two get close. Patrick’s dad doesn’t like it, he “knows his son too well” but what is she going to do? You aren’t even fucking you’re just… too familiar. Patrick sits on the edge of the bathtub while you’re taking a bubble bath, turns the pages of your book for you, talks about his day working at the country club. He gets you high for the first time, and your mom finds you with red, half-lidded eyes giggling over bowls of Mac and cheese while you watch bro comedies on the family TV. She doesn’t say anything. You hated her enough for marrying some old creep, didn’t you?

And god, holidays. Thanksgiving with his mom, his dad, your mom, your dad, your dad’s uncomfortably young girlfriend. You and Patrick delegated to the ‘kids table’ with his little cousins, picking at your plates until you steal a chocolate pie from the butler’s pantry and eat it together in the pantry. You steal a kiss, and it tastes sweet. Your hands both wander, but you don’t fuck. You just… blame it on the wine you’d both been drinking to get through the night. Not any of the rest of the tension.

And :(( Patrick’s bad days. When his dad lays into him and he feels fucking awful. He’s a bad son, he’s a disappointing tennis player, and wasn’t he raised better than that? Look at the bad influence he’s having on you. You give him space, but you sneak into his room, you curl up beside him on his bed, ask him if he’s okay. He holds your hand, lets you kiss his cheek. “Should I just kill your dad?” You ask, sounding so completely serious that he laughs, grinning as you look over at him. “You don’t have it in you.” It turns into a slap fight.

Hnnnnnhggg. Just late nights in Patrick’s childhood room. Playing Guitar Hero, yelling at each other because you keep fucking distracting each other during the solos, and that’s not fucking fair! Going to the country club and he tries to teach you to play tennis but gets frustrated. You drive him to go get lunch and end up wrecking your car and he never lets you live it down.

And yeah, it would be better if you’d just fucked, because now you really fucking love each other.

[sadgirlbaby]

HAVING DINNER AT LANGDONS' - tate langdon x fem!reader (part 1)

CW: //

SUMMARY: you just moved to los angeles so the langdons invited you and your family to have dinner at their house since they were your new neighbors. during the dinner you caught tate's attention.

part 2 here

"welcome in this awesome neighborhood!" constance opened the door and let you and your family come in. "make yourselves at home".

you went in and saw a few more people sitting at the table.

"oh that's my husband hugo and my two beautiful kids - adelaide and tate" mrs langdon said.

"hi!" the girl said smiling. you assumed she was adelaide.

"hey" the blond guy in front of her greeted. he must have been tate.

you took a sit while constance was talking to your parents - they were chatting and laughing, meanwhile you were already getting bored but when you lifted your head, you noticed that the blond guy was actually getting bored too.

tate noticed you as well and smiled at you, then you smiled back but lowered your head immediately as you heard your parents' steps getting closer to the dining table.

"my husband says that dinner is already ready!" constance announced.

your parents took a sit and impatiently waited to eat.

"hello darling, what's your name?" she asked looking and smiling at you.

"I'm y/n" you said and faked a smile.

"would you like to talk a bit about yourself so that we can break the ice and introduce ourselves too?" constance suggested and looked around looking for the others' endorsements.

you nodded and spoke - "uhm... I'm a student and I deal with languages so I can travel and interact with people from other countries"

"sounds so cool" hugo said. you felt all the eyes on you for a second but especially two eyes in particular - tate's ones.

you laid your eyes on tate to check him and you caught him staring at you like you just said the most interesting thing on the earth.

you let yourself smirk since you actually found him attractive. you couldn't tell if he noticed your smirk but he definitely smirked back after you.

"do you have a boyfriend?" adelaide asked you. she caught you off guard as you weren't looking in her direction.

"no, I don't" you said embarrassed and immediately looked at tate in front of you. his eyes looked brighter and he was shamelessly smirking, he was not even trying to hide it.

then he looked down and played a bit with his fork, but still keeping that smirk on his face.

you smiled at that scene and made adelaide suspicious. "my brother can't get his eyes off you" she sighed.

you looked at adelaide and smiled in embarrassment and you lowered your head. then you just started eating.

"what about you, tate - do you have a girlfriend?" your mom asked him and everybody shut up.

"uhm... no, I don't" he said looking straight at you. he embarrassed you so much because you were literally the only person tate laid his eyes on that night.

"I really like this house" you said to break the silence since everyone was eating.

"I'm glad you like it, do you want to check upstairs?" constance said.

she didn't let you respond and she kept talking - "tate, would you like to show her the house?"

you widened your eyes and instantly looked at tate. he nodded and stood up, making you feel forced to stand up as well.

as you walked away, tate followed you and looked at you from head to toe. he literally ate you up with his eyes.

once you got to the stairs you let tate go ahead so he could show you around the house.

"do you like living here?" he said.

"not much but I think I'll get used to it" you replied.

"this is a very long hall and... at the end... here we are - this is my room. I have lots of things so I don't mind if you have a look inside" he politely said and smiled at you.

tate was very enchanted by you since you stepped inside and you couldn't stop thinking about it. his eyes on you felt like an addiction for you since the beggining of the night.

you smiled back and got into tate's room. it was pretty dark but also wonderful. it was decorated and had a piece of tate's personality everywhere - from his music taste to his hobbies.

"I like it... I wish I had a room like yours" you said and let out a soft laugh.

"I bet your room looks better than mine" he said.

"mmh it has a lot of big boxes and bags everywhere since we just moved".

"got it. well, you may decorate it in the future" he got closer to you.

"I've seen you before and... I think you're very pretty" he said making you blush.

you didn't say anything and just kept your stare on the floor.

"so you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" he wrapped his arm around your waist and with the other hand he lifted your head by putting two fingers under your chin.

you raised your head and crossed tate's eyes. you immediately felt a weird sensation - your legs started shaking and your cheeks got warmer.

his eyes were darker than you thought and his lips looked so damn kissable in that moment.

tate couldn't resist and pressed his soft lips on yours, it wasn't rough or violent at all - it was sweet and kinda hungry. you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck so you could reach his height to kiss him easily.

in a few seconds you guys immediately stopped as you heard someone calling you out - constance was looking for you.

you looked at each other like you just committed a mistake that felt very good. tate sighed and brough you downstairs.

"why do you have lipstick on your lips?" adelaide asked looking at tate. he looked confused for a minute but then he remebered whose lipstick was that.

he smirked trying not to be seen by the others and looked at you. his stare was so intense that you almost thought that he was trying to communicate with you with his mind.

reminder: requests are always open and you can request about whoever you want. currently taking requests for ahs only!

taglist: @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff @charsdunkie @imdeaddearnotstupid

-> click on the ask/request bottom or just comment if you want to be added in my taglist!

note: OMG IT’S EVAN’S 36TH BDAY!!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I love him so muchhh

[bcolfanfic]

Love your young vets au

I’d love your thoughts on how they settle into their daily routine as a new couple once they’re discharged and home; introducing each other to their families as husbands, finding a place together, Bucky wanting to take Buck on a first official date (when they realise they haven’t actually done that yet), figuring out how to live a life together outside of the routine of the army and adjusting to that 💜 basically the sweet coupley stuff they experience alongside managing poor Bucky’s PTSD

ahhh yes yes! first off bc i feel like everyone that writes post war stuff kinda spins the wheel on where they send the boys- my plopping them in sheridan came from that being where real buck cleven was living by the end of his life. in au land i’ve decided that’s where his sister lives too and some other people he knew before he enlisted.

i think they stop and see bucky's family is wisconsin before they go to wyoming. so they dont technically have their marriage on paper yet, but bucky tells his family they're planning on doing it when they're home and introduces gale as his husband anyways. still formulating all my thoughts on bucky's family- but i think at least his mom just adores gale. she knows bucky can be quite the loose canon and worries about him- so when bucky wrote about him it did her heart good to know he had someone watching out for him. and in person it just multiples because she sees the way gale looks at him, puts his hand on his back, checks in with him etc etc. knows her baby is in good hands <3

gale’s sister wants to beat his ass for the whole ‘we got a marriage license the literal second we got home, we’ll have a wedding eventually buttt’ thing LOL. loves her brother, thinks bucky is perfectly nice (and already knew about him from calls/letters etc) but she’s just a girl. her brother getting married without telling her even if just on paper is a mortal sin /j. his mama feels the same way a little- though with less baby sister theatrics. bucky is a sweet boy. they can’t stay mad that long. in my mind he's no contact with his dad...though it would be interesting to think about him finding out via word of mouth and there being some drama there.

in my head they maybe stay with his sister while they’re looking for a house? this is before bucky’s ptsd gets really bad so there’s no Incidents or anything and she’s happy to have them there. thinks bucky is cute- who wouldn’t!

this is the house they end up in my mind- at least the first one pre: josie. though i think they maybe do some renos and rip out the shower to put a tub in. it’s small- but it’s just very Them. cozy and homey.

they're such sweetie pie doofs on their first real date. bucky realllllyyy leans into the 'first date' thing because he likes that it makes gale get all red. makes him wait inside while he gets his car and drives in a circle around the block to come 'pick him up'...who is bucky really if he is not his theatrics y'know? but they're so sweet getting all dressed up and having a nice dinner together. (bucky ribs him later- later- about how he didn't seem like the type to put out on the first date)

before bucky's shit really hits the fan he truly is just so happy to be home with his gale. gale falls asleep first most nights and he loves just watching him sleep, stroking his face, lightly scratching his hair. and same vs verse with gale normally being the first one awake. watching bucky sleeping in the morning light of their bedroom makes his heart so content. that's his darling boy (,:

[dausy]

We said goodbye to our house. Packed up all the rest of our belongings into our 2 vehicles and are currently chilling in a hotel. If we had stayed another 2 days we wouldn’t get our money back for the rest of the month for who knows how long.

Yesterday we went out for dinner with a friend. Today we are going to go get our retiree ID cards and get the all clear to leave. We plan to hit the road tomorrow morning. It’ll be a long 11 hours across Texas. Tomorrow will be our longest day. Gonna go try and visit my grandpa in Houston as I haven’t seen him in years but he always posts hilarious things to my husbands Facebook. The two have never met. Then we are going to visit my husbands uncle in Mississippi and then we will make our way to Tennessee. I’m tired already and can already tell I’ll have to pee every 5 mins. Last time we did this because we are doing 2 vehicles, we found it easier to go old school and talk to each other via walkytalky. Also, my husbands headlights are messing up and we want to avoid driving at night because it’s hard to see.

I’ve already mispacked and couldn’t remember what bag I put my dogs stuff in, where I put my make up, where I put my charging cables etc lol

My dog seems hella confused and concerned.

The hotel we are at had requested we bring our kennel and my husband almost talked me out of bringing it because we’ve never needed it before. But I’m glad I left it out and brought it. The hotel practically had us put it together in the lobby so they could take photos of it. They must have had issues with pets in the past. I’m glad I kennel trained my dog. She hasn’t been in her kennel in a couple years and I literally forgot she was and was real nervous leaving her in her kennel in the room alone. She just went in and chilled. Yay me.

Our next journey is to find a place to rent and get out of my moms house asap because I just learned my brother was moving back home too and I love family and all but it makes me claustrophobic. I’d kind of like to rent a luxury apartment or home in a community that has a community pool and gym but alas..that might be out of reach. I start my new job in December and my husband has a tentative job offer from another company that also starts in December. We did the math on our finances and if everything goes as planned we could actually afford more than I’m comfortable spending. But I hesitate to bank on anything until the money is actually flowing in. I really just want it to be 6 months from now when we have all our belongings back and we are settled into a new routing where we both complain ‘I don’t want to go to work tomorrow T.T”

My husband still wants to try and sneak in a Washington DC trip too until we start work but I dunno if that’ll happen while we house hunt.

Anyway, happy travels tomorrow. I’m going to try to listen to a book I’ve been putting off but probably listen to trash tv podcasts the whole time.

[eva-cybele]

a rare personal post appears, cut for emotional barf

today is my 14th wedding anniversary, and I'm still kind of grappling with my emotions around my wedding. not my marriage - love my husband, he's still great. I feel bad calling my memories of our wedding bittersweet, because it was absolutely nothing to do with him.

but I wanted a few things for my wedding. to wear a medieval dress/be in the closest thing I could find to a castle, to have a 3 tier cake, to have it on our dating anniversary of April 11th, and to have the traditional bride/bridesmaid experience with female friends around me. I would have been fine compromising on some, but I got literally none of these.

problem was, my husband's brother was in the military, so I ended up caving and getting married two days after christmas so my MIL could have her kids home for the holidays. the dresses and venue and cake I wanted were too expensive. we had the wedding at a church, with a pastor. a religious ceremony, which I also didn't want, because to do otherwise would be to invite a ton of fighting from both our families.

and this was my second year of university, when I was in the worst possible years of my life re: friendship. I hadn't made any friends at college, my high school best friend stopped talking to me the second we graduated. of the two HS friends I reached out to about being bridesmaids, one lied and told me she was moving to another country. another said yes and then ghosted me. I ended up with my cousin and two childhood friends I had barely hung out with in recent years that probably felt too bad to say no.

my bachelorette party was me, my photographer (wife of one of my husband's friends), and my mom. it was one of the loneliest nights of my life.

then after the wedding, my husband's friends covered our new car in shaving cream, which will eat through paint if you leave it. and put powdered coffee creamer in our vents, which blew out all over our recently-detailed interior. we didn't get all of that stuff out of the nooks and crannies by the time we sold the car last year. and we were at the car wash trying to rinse off our car in freezing temperatures long enough that we missed our paid-for fancy dinner at the hotel we were staying at for our wedding night. which was the only honeymoon we got.

everything just added up to something that was for everyone else, not for me. and I keep bouncing between "so what, it doesn't actually matter" and "but it mattered to me for some reason, and now I feel stupid that it mattered."

and a huge part of it is that at least in part, I bought into the 90s girl power ideal of close female friendship, and I have never had that. have rarely had more than one or two girl friends at a time at all, much less the tightknit group I always wanted. I've never been asked to be in anyone else's wedding either, so it's like...idk. growing up I was always on the fringes of every friend group I had, the one who they let hang around but wasn't really included. so it's hard to shake that feeling even now, when I have honestly more friends than I ever have. sometimes I still doubt if they actually like me or just put up with me being there because I run the discords they use to hang out with their real friends.

I don't know where I'm going with this and honestly it's at least 90% fueled by me being PMSy, recovering from a stomach bug that hit me like a truck on Christmas day, and having honestly an absolutely terrible year in most respects.

[lavendercrow136]

https://www.tumblr.com/lavendercrow136/739432265307881472/httpswwwtumblrcomlavendercrow136739360686858

Link above for Tell me this isn't goodbye love part 8^

I smiled,

"Oh really now?"

She nodded and kissed my cheek,

"You'll know more soon enough, tomorrow we will go see Morticia, and then we can discuss the surprise more, my darling"

I smiled allowing her to pamper me, we bathed together and snuggled in the tub and when we both were clean and had enough she dried me off and carried me to bed. We snuggled naked for a while just softly making out, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I awoke to an empty bed. I quickly through on a silk sleep set and a bathrobe and made my way downstairs. Larissa was making breakfast, the twins already up and dressed, Pugsley was still in his pajamas rubbing his eyes wearily while he drank some juice. Wednesday and Enid were eating in silence, I smiled at the display, tiptoeing over to Larissa, I poured a cup of coffee and filled it with ice and cream and sugar. I took a sip, and Larissa smiled.

"Are you hungry love?"

I shook my head truthfully I wasn't, but she gave me a look that said I needed to eat. She passed me a bowl of yogurt with fruit and granola and I ate it quietly, she kissed the top of my head, I spoke softly,

"Girls can you watch the boys today, we have some things to take care of and I'd really appreciate it. We'll leave money for dinner, there's pre-made lunches for you both and your brothers in the fridge, you know the twins sleep schedule try to keep Pugsley on it to"

Wednesday and Enid nodded, and Larissa added,

"Also study for an tests or exams coming up, and be prepared for school and practice tomorrow love's, you know you can call us if you need anything"

Wednesday smiled,

"Already ahead of you mom, I finished my homework and papers two days ago. Now it's just studying, and helping Enid study"

Larissa smiled,

"Alright good,thank you girls"

We finished eating in silence and when it was time we got dressed and ready for the day. We climbed in Larissa’s car and made our way to the prison where Morticia was being held, as soon as she saw us she began to weep.

She passed us the documents in front of her lawyer, and she signed the papers, and then we signed them. She said goodbye rather teary eyed.

We finally were back in our car, and drove the hour back to town from the prison, Larissa passed me a black silk scarf from her pocket.

"Put this on"

I put it on, and Larissa held my thigh reassuringly while she drove eventually qe pulled to a stop, she unbundled me and herself , I heard her door close, and mine open, she scooped me up and carried me for a while before setting me down. She turned me away from her and removed the blindfold.

I immediately began to cry,

"Larissa how?"

Larissa smiled embracing me from behind, and kissed my cheek,

"It's our dream home, the house you drew up the blueprints for, with the help of your architect friend Valerie, Valerie and her husband helped me construct it and surprise you, it has everything we ever wanted and plenty of rooms and bathrooms and space for our family to grow. If you want more kids that is?"

I turned around and faced Larissa a smile on my face and tears in my eyes, I nodded my head softly,

"Is that what you want?"

Larissa smiled,

"I would like another baby, yes, but I don't need one if your not ready to go through all that again"

I smiled and kissed her,

"Want to see the inside?"

I nodded and she guided me around the house, when we finally stopped in the kitchen,

"This is beautiful Larissa, it has literally everything we ever wanted"

Larissa smiled and kissed me passing me an envelope,

"What is this?"

She kissed my forehead,

"Open it"

Inside were a family package of tickets to the Netherlands for three weeks in June, with Efteling tickets as well, I smiled tears welling in my eyes again.

"This is wonderful, but I have concerns, if I'm pregnant I won't be able to go on the rides with you or the kids"

Larissa smiled,

"So maybe we wait till after the trip, after we're settled and everyone's fallen into a routine at the new house, how does that sound darling?"

I smiled and nodded kissing Larissa passionately on the lips, her hands ghosted up my sides and I whimpered at her touch, I seized her wrists and nimble fingers. I smirked,

"Your lips and voice say one thing love, but your hands and body say another"

Larissa smirked giving me a playful wink, she pushed her body up against mine and hoisted me onto the marble counter top, kissing me passionately her fingers gripping my hips in a bruising grip. I moaned feeling my body wash over in a wave of lust,

"F-fuck darling, I -I need you"

I begged tears in my eyes, I was overwhelmingly aroused, Larissa scooped me off of the counter and pulled me upstairs to qhwre our master bedroom was going to be. She lay me gently on the floor removing my clothes with fat assured needy hands. She stripped herself and kissed her way down my neck, I moaned feeling her bill and stuck at my sensitive flesh,

"Riss please, I need you inside of me"

She kissed her way down to my dripping cunt, and breathed deeply, exhaling her hot breath causing me to clench around the air,

"You smell heavenly darling, so perfect and ready for me"

I whined and she smirked, kissing my clit, before licking a broad stripe from my dripping entrance up to my swollen bundle of nerves. She lapped and sucked at my pussy, and my hands instinctively found purchase in her hair, messing her curls. She moaned at my taste, I was close desperately achingly close,

"LARISSA PLEASE"

Larissa moaned shifting herself and sliding her cock into my eager cunt, she sheathed herself fully inside of me and I moaned my hips instantly moving to meet her thrust. Larissa pounded into my roughly, chasing her own high as well as my own. She kissed me, and rolled me onto my stomach, she slapped my ass and I immediately arched my back putting my hips up for her. She grabbed my neck and pulled me up against her chest, placing kisses to my neck and face anywhere she could reach. I moaned and muttered incoherently,

"That's it darling let go for mommy, does her little slut like it when I fuck her dumb and full of mommy's cum?"

I moaned nodding aggressively and she slapped my ass,

"Use your words darling"

I moaned practically screaming, as I climaxed,

"YES -FUCK YES MOMMY YES I DO, I LOVE IT!"

Larissa chuckled fucking me as I rode out my high, and shortly after she would follow suit, she flipped me over and crawled up my torso,

"Open your mouth for mommy"

I opened my mouth hesitantly and she sheathed herself in my mouth, I sucked her cock, deep throating her, and then I felt her spill inside of my mouth. Sweet and tangy, I swallowed every last drop, she climbed off of me,

"Let me see, did you swallow it for mommy?"

I opened my mouth and showed her that it was all gone. She kissed me praising me, and held me to her chest tossing her coat over us, I snuggled into her chest. She gently caressed my skin, humming softly while I nuzzled into her.

"Darling?"

I looked up at her,

"Yes love?"

She smiled looking away shyly I turned her face back to me,

"What is it darling? You know ,you can tell me anything"

Larissa blushed,

"I want to try something new, the next time we have sex"

I nodded and kissed her lips humming softly,

"What darling?"

Larissa blushed, before whispering in my ear,

"I want to explore some kinks with you, being my submissive, is that okay?"

I blushed,

"You mean like bdsm?"

Larissa nodded,

"Yes, I mean if your okay with that, I feel like it would be fun"

I smiled and kissed her,

"I'm sure it could be, I wouldn't mind being in control every once in a while though"

Larissa blushed,

"I mean I suppose it would be nice to let go of the reigns once in a while"

I smirked kissing her neck,

"You don't have to give up control entirely, I just for once I'd like to be able to feel like I had a duty or a job or was in charge of something other then tracking time till you get home or feeding the kids or changing diapers"

I sat up feeling defeated and ashamed of myself, I loved being a mom, and a wife, but it got repetitive after a while. Larissa held me close and kissed my cheek,

"Darling, I had no idea you felt so restless at home"

I looked over at Larissa with tears filled eyes and she caressed my face wiping my tears away,

"I just, I used to be Y/n Weems, detective and wife, avid reader and video game enthusiasts. We used to go on dates, spontaneously and now since we had children, I'm just somebody's Mommy. I don't have a job other then caring for the kids, and that sounds bad, because I love our children. I want more kids with you, but I wanna feel like an individual too and not just a mom"

Larissa kissed my cheek and held me in her lap,

"I'm so sorry Darling, maybe we can hire a nanny"

I shook my head no,

"Honey I didn't want to make you feel bad or to complain, I love our kids, I just feel like I need to do something that I can be proud of and say that I do. So, when people talk about me or ask about me or what I'm doing ? I can tell them something other then I'm a stay at home mom. Which it is a job and it is an honorable one, but for some reason society puts down stay at home mothers or fathers. I -I just feel all this pressure to be perfect all the time, you know?"

Larissa kissed me and held me and rocked me in her arms,

"Darling you are perfect, you are everything and more, but if you want to find something to do, that you can be proud of other then being supermom I encourage you to do so,and will support you fully"

I smiled and kissed Larissa, she smiled and we got dress and drove to our favorite restaurant for dinner. We ate and talked comfortably, and when we had finished we drove home. Wednesday and Enid were studying and the boys were all already in bed, I made them a study break snack and they ate and when it was time for bed. We let the girls drive back to the academy, and told them to text us when they were back inside. Larissa sat with me at the table, we were making a list of things I could do on the side while still caring for the kids. Larissa smiled,

"Darling, what about something with music? You used to sing all of the time"

I smiled,and rubbed my hands together, and wrote down the idea,

"That's not a bad one, but I'm not so sold on the idea of doing gigs in front of people"

Larissa nodded in understanding,

"What about being an author? The kids and I always love your stories"

I smiled,

"That's not a bad idea at all, I mean what's supplies would I need?"

Larissa smiled,

"A type writer or a laptop, a printer, something to illustrate your covers on?"

I nodded highlighting that idea, Larissa kissed me as she passed me a cup of tea, I took a sip and yawned. Larissa smiled at a text message on her phone,

"The girls are home, shall we retire to bed?"

I nodded sleepily and took the notebook with me, Larissa locked the doors and turned the lights off and once we were finally in bed she spooned me close. I drifted off to sleep within a matter of minutes, and when I awoke there was a note next to me on Larissa’s pillow. It read,

"Check the kitchen for your suprise"

I smiled as I put on my slippers, I walked into the boys room and Pugsley was wide awake. I scooped him up and gave him a bath, I put lotion on him and powdered him slipping him into his pull up and put him in a fresh onesie, I kissed his forehead. When Tristan and Oliver were done being bathed and dressed, I carried the boys down stairs and plopped them on the floor to watch bluey, I gave them each their bottles and grabbed them little cereal snacks.

I sat down at the kitchen table, sipping a coffee and eye balling the present before me, I opened it silently, and pulled out a typewriter and paper. I smiled and set the type writer up. I stretched my hands and began to type, it was around three pm when I got up with a stretch, and began to make the boys lunch. I was three chapters deep in a horror novel I was writing. I carried their lunch out to them and sat with them on the floor, Pugsley was eating his lunch and watching Bluey with no problems. Tristan and Oliver were slowly eating, I kissed all of their foreheads, when lunch was finished I scooped them up and Pugsley followed me. I changed the twins diaper and Pugsleys pull up, I brought the boys back into the living room and I quickly did some inventory of the fridge and cupboards.

"Boys we gotta go grocery shopping"

I got the car put together for the grocery trip, I put Pugsleys car seat in next to the twins, prepared a diaper bag, and loaded up the car with snacks and entertainment.

I quickly changed into a more presentable outfit for the store, and loaded the boys into the car putting on their fall coats. I carried them out to the car and buckled them into their car seats,

"Mama where go?"

I smiled at the boys,

"We're going to the grocery store"

Pugsley and Oliver perked up, Tristan was still groggy from his nap,

"We see Mama"

I smiled,

"Sure boys, we can go see Mama, maybe bring her lunch"

Pugsley smiled, I carefully backed out of our drive way and we made our way to the store. I loaded the boys into the cart with my purse and the grocery list. We picked up diapers wipes and pull ups, baby shampoo, more formula and food. Cereal snacks, and a bunch of other groceries for the house, lots of fruit and vegetables and protein, and some junk food. I was in the feminine car section, when a woman and her daughter were walking by, they gushed over the boys and I thanked them. I was looking at the tampons, it couldn't hurt to pick up a box.

I grabbed the box and made my way to check out, I paid my total and made my way out to the car, I started loading the meat into the cooler, and other frozen goods into cold bags so they'd stay cold,and put the dry goods next to the cooler and cold bags in the trunk.

"Alright kiddos, Mommy needs to quickly bring home and unload the groceries and then we can go see Mama, okay?"

Ollie began to cry, so I quickly got home and stocked the cupboards, I ran back out to the car where the boys were still buckled up. I called Larissa, and she answered immediately,

"Hello darling, is everything okay?"

I smiled at the sound of her sleepy voice,

"Yes, darling the boys and I actually wanted to come and see you, is that okay?"

Larissa replied immediately,

"Of course, I'd love to see you and the boys"

I smiled,

"Alright, well I'm going to be stopping in town quick is their anything I could get you for lunch?"

Larissa hummed in quiet thought,

"A coffee and some sort of brunch item would be nice"

I hummed in approval,

"You have not eaten today have you?"

Larissa was quiet for a moment,

"No love unfortunately I have not"

I nodded,

"Okay, well we'll be there soon and then you can take a much needed break and eat something"

Larissa muttered her agreement and we concluded the call, I pulled into the Weathervane parking lot and parked.

"Mommy will be right back okay?"

The boys just smiled and played with their toys, Tristan was more awake now and was playing with Pugsley. I made my way inside, I ordered two coffees, and picked up some lunch and snacks for Larissa all of her favorites. I climbed back into the car and made the drive to Nevermore, I parked next to Larissa. I loaded the twins into the stroller and with Pugsley perched on my hip, I carried Larissa’s lunch and our coffees and brought the boys inside. Larissa as soon as she was capable immediately came over and took the stroller kissing my cheek, we made our way to her office and once inside I set down her lunch and sat on the couch in her office. Larissa took the boys out and snuggled them, Pugsley ran over to her and she hugged him and kissed his forehead, they were so happy to see her.when the boys had settled and were no longer clinging to her as much she joined me on the couch with her lunch and her coffee, I sipped mine watching her open her lunch. Her eyes glossed over with tears and I hugged her kissing her cheek,

"Oh honey what's wrong? What is it?"

Larissa looked over at me and lay her head against my chest and I hugged her while she cried, and soothed her until she was calm enough to talk.

"Works been difficult today, the students are driving me up a wall, the school board is on my ass, I have had meeting after meeting, given out countless lunch detentions and I am so beyond exhausted and the girls still have practice tonight"

I hugged her and kissed her cheek,

"Is there anything I can do love to make today easier?"

Larissa paused and kissed my cheek,

"You would really help me at work?"

I smiled and kissed her,

"Of course as long as you don't get in trouble"

Larissa nodded and quickly called whoever she needed to, to get permission. She smiled coming back with a verdict,

"You are allowed to help, but the school has asked that I give you a position on the payroll"

I smiled,

"What about the boys?"

Larissa smiled,

"They want them here, and they specifically asked me to have you teach home economics, apparently the superintendent is really fond of your cooking"

I smiled,

"Okay so what do I do?"

Larissa smiled,

"Well first let me eat my lunch and then I can show you to your classroom, I have been running that class up until this point and it's been dreadful, I only did one class and was ready to give up"

I giggled,

"Not very reassuring love"

Larissa laughed and shook her head, she kissed my cheek and she ate her lunch. I had picked up a chicken Cesar wrap with egg, and a yogurt with granola in it. Apples and peanut butter and a chocolate croissants. She ate her lunch and then I let her settle for a bit, laying her head in my lap I carded through her hair. And she drifted to sleep. I sat at her desk, quickly organizing its contents, I saw she was struggling with a budget for the Rave'N and wired a little money I had set aside to the school's account. A celebratory ta-da sound went off and the budget was cleared, I ordered the things she had listed for the theme. I carried out a few lunch detentions, when Wednesday arrived, I smiled.

"Shush Moms asleep, whats up baby bat?"

Wednesday nodded,

"I can see that she is late to home economics class"

I smiled,

"That's me now, give me two minutes and we can go"

Wednesday nodded, I quickly looked over Larissa’s calendar and saw she had nothing else for the day. I tucked the boys into the bed in the adjacent room of her office lining up pillows so they wouldn't fall. And set up a make shift baby gate, I set the baby monitor next to them and passed them their bottles and binkeys, and put bluey on the tablet. They were asleep quickly, I covered Larissa with a blanket kissed her forehead and shut her office door putting up the do not disturb sign and made my way with Wednesday to home economics.

The class looked at me confused, I smiled, Wednesday sat,

"Hello class, I'm Professor Weems, I'm going to be taking over this position for the foreseeable future. What has Principal Weems taught you so far?"

The class snickered, and Wednesday spoke up,

"Umm, how to burn a casserole"

I smiled, and folded my hands together and looked through the cupboards.

"Casseroles are incredibly hard to make, and if your a busy person with not a lot of time, or someone who needs to multitask a lot they are difficult. So we're gonna save that, now I'm gonna show you how to make the brownies I always make for the bake sale that sell fast"

I began teaching them how to do it and I even let them sample one,

"Now the batch if done correctly makes one hundred brownies, and that is going to be 10, 9x9 pans, and since their are only ten of you in this class, I want you to each make a tray for homework, what we don't eat we will sell to raise money for the school clubs and dances. Please make sure you write down the recipe, and remember to never leave your brownies unattended"

The bell rang and once the students had finished writing down the recipe they left, Wednesday remained behind and helped me package up the brownies that were left. We labeled them and brought them to the boosters club corner,

"Thank you for helping me baby bat"

Wednesday smiled,

"No problem Mama, it's nice that the schools allowing you to work and have the boys with you and that your giving Mom a break.speaking of practice is in an hour, make sure she's awake and ready please"

I smiled,

"Of course sweet heart"

I dropped a twenty in the boosters club box and grabbed some of the brownies we made, and went back to Larissa’s office. She was still out cold on the couch, I let her sleep a little longer and made my way into the bedroom where the boys were still asleep. I took a sip of my coffee, and smiled when I saw Larissa begin to wake up on her own, she sat up a little panicked.

"Fuck I missed the deadline to order the decor"

I shook my head and printed her out the confirmation number and the list of what I had ordered, I handed it to her and sat with her on the couch, she instantly relaxed.

"Oh thank God, thank you darling. How was class?"

She hummed sipping her coffee, I chuckled,

"Well no brownies were burnt, unlike the casserole you made and the students have homework that benefits the school school"

Larissa giggled and kissed my cheek,

"What time is it anyway?"

I smiled,

"You have an 50 minutes or so before you have to make your way to the soccer pitch"

Larissa nodded,

"Will you stay to watch practice?"

I smiled,

"Of course darling"

Larissa smiled and began working on plays to run through for the final game, and I sat reading a book with her. I changed the boys diapers, while Larissa changed into a paid or jeans and a t-shirt, we made our way down to the soccer pitch where the girls were already doing warm ups.

Larissa spoke up,

"Alright girls listen up, once your warmed up were gonna go over some new plays for the final game, which as your aware is in two days against Nevermores long standing rival the Knights, now I need you on your A game so this is going to be our last practice before the match.The team sleepover is the night before the big game, my wife and I will be hosting it, you will have a bed time. You will be expected to do homework still, I asked you all to bring a list of allergies if any were had so we can plan for food the night before"

Yoko Tanaka and a few of the other girls who are vampires stood up and presented their list to me,

"No Garlic"

I announced, the girls nodded in understanding. Larissa handed out copies of the play book,

"Read these, memorize them, these are our friend"

The girls looked over the play book, and when it was time they ran a few drills, and shortly after practice had ended. Larissa brought the girls in for a team huddle, and said her goodbyes to the team and then we made our way home. Larissa helped me get the boys inside and we ordered dinner from a burger joint, we ate the food and snuggled on the couch with the boys. Once we had finished and the boys were tucked away for sleep we hung out watching our shows, Larissa read the first three chapters of my novel and smiled.

"This is incredible darling"

I smiled,

"You think so ?"

She nodded and kissed my cheek, we went upstairs to go to our bedroom, we showered and once we had finished we went to bed. Larissa kissed me and snuggled me close, when I woke up, I immediately did my makeup and got dressed for work. Larissa followed suit and helped me get the boys ready, I packed our lunches and we rode to the Academy together. The boys were still sleepy in the car, we went inside the academy together and Larissa brought us inside. I set the boys in her bed, and they slept most the morning. Larissa kissed my cheek and ordered us coffee, I sat down and typed more on my type writer. When breakfast arrived I took a break from writing and sat with Larissa, we ate and afterward she snuggled me on the couch.

The morning was relatively uneventful, mostly spent in each other's company, there were a few things Larissa had to attend to but I was capable of tagging along to help. We set up the ballroom for the Rave'N, and the boys ran around and played.

End of Part 9

@o1iviac1aire @barbarasstar @vii-v @propertyofmilfs @weemssapphic @weemswife

[shrekshugebadussy]

i’m interested to hear thoughts. i personally don’t think i’m in the wrong, but basically last weekend was easter & for a little backstory, my mom, brother, and i live in the middle of the rest of our family. my aunt, her husband, & kids live about 2hrs west of me, my uncle and my cousin live about 1 hr 30m east of me, and my grandma lives 15min north of me 😭. anyways, we’ve always had our family get togethers at my grandmas, but her place is small, so my uncle and aunt kinda just.. offer our place up. which is fine, that means we don’t have to go anywhere, but to get to the point, my aunts son is 1 & a half years old, and he’s afraid of cats… i have a cat.

now, i’ve had this cat since nov 2021, so she’s not new, and they’ve been over before with her here… she does not go near my baby cousin at all. the closest she’s gotten was literally across the room peeking from behind some chairs. she’s curious, and she’s never been around small human beings before. she’s never once gotten close enough to even touch my baby cousin. my baby cousin is very wary of her tho. when he was here last weekend he would even grab his toys to hold so my cat wouldn’t get to them. it was funny at first ngl, even my aunt was laughing. he also loves dogs, and my aunt has 2 dogs, but no cats. so i can understand that he’s never been around cats before so he’s wary of them, i get it.

but then dinner came.

he apparently “couldn’t eat” his food (i was not paying attention to them fully, as i was helping getting the table set up and stuff, since he was eating other stuff, so maybe he was distracted idk) because she was roaming around. so my aunt asked me if i could put my cat in a room. and i’m ngl i was kinda peeved. i mean this is my house, my cats house. she’s never made a sound nor has she even gotten close to anyone else for that matter let alone my baby cousin.

i did end up locking her in my room just for the time that we all ate. after that i let her back out (her litter is in my bathroom across the house and her food was in the dining room & when i opened my door she was on my bookshelf, which she’s never been on before). my aunt knew at the time that i wasn’t happy, but i moved on. it’s become apparent that she meant for me to lock her up until they left, but she never specified, nor was i going to do that.

after dinner my baby cousin went into the living room and kept playing, i let her out and gave her an early dinner of wet food and she happily stayed out of the living room. she eventually just got on her window perch that’s on the sliding glass doors in my dining room, and my other, older cousin was playing with her anyways.

the rest of the gathering went fine. but yesterday my mom informed me that apparently my aunt texted her and said that they’re not sure that they’re comfortable having gatherings at our house anymore bcuz “there wasn’t much sympathy” for my baby cousin’s fear.

my mom and i are just flabbergasted that she even thought that we didn’t care about his feelings. i only locked her away in the first place because of that & i figured after dinner while he was in the living room she would be elsewhere, ie eating her dinner.

oh and btw she was on her window perch by the dining table when he was eating desert and he was fine 🤷🏻

again i don’t think i’m in the wrong here…

[findroleplay]

23nb, back on my bullshit.

looking for 20+ writers interested in a mildly specific sambucky (mcu) plot. like them, i have no grasp on what is going on in the rest of the mcu right now, interdimensional time travel? i hardly know her. instead, i want to have my two favorite guys play house in a slow-burn, buddy cop dramedy where we smush them into one bed like a couple of barbie dolls.

the actual plot: after the events of ftws, sam and bucky are recruited for an undercover mission where they are responsible for investigating the seedy underbelly of a new england, suburban neighborhood that is suspected to be a coverup for a money laundering scheme. it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve gone undercover: they’ve been billionaire/bodyguard, step-brothers, business partners, etc. however, when they’re handed their case file and assumed identities they discover that they’re going undercover as a couple of newlyweds, moving to the suburbs to settle down and start a family. of course, they are thrilled. their main objective is to assimilate into the neighborhood’s suburban culture. go to barbecues, make nice with the pta moms, look unsuspecting. in doing this, sam and bucky eventually realize that they actually enjoy this. not necessarily the simple pleasantries of the family life, but having someone to come home to at the end of the day. someone to share dinners with and someone casually wrap an arm around. being sam-and-bucky, not just sam and bucky. tldr: the middle-aged men fall in love while pretending to be husbands.

logistics time: i am a literate/novella writer. while i absolutely adore writing big, flowery prose, i understand the joys of quick-paced responses when you’re in the thick of it. i am nsfw friendly, so long as my partners don’t strictly write tops/bottoms. (as a queer person myself, i just think it’s unrealistic.) however, nsfw is not required. i am looking for someone to write sam. i just have more experience with bucky, i started my rping experience roughly ten years ago writing this man and i can’t give him up now lol. irl stuff comes first in my books, so if you want someone who’s a stickler for activity that’s just not me. i’m a lax person, so as long as we’re communicating i’m happy. love chatting, swapping headcanons, ideas, and creations. lastly, i write pretty exclusively on discord. so, if any of this sounds like something you would be interested, let me know by liking this post!! i’ll reach out to you from there 🌼💛

-

[bewitchingbaker]

goodbye

@escapedartgeek

"SURPRISE!!"

Zora's eyes widened once they saw the sight before them. The sign at the new bakery was covered with a banner reading 'GOOD LUCK Z!' The lobby was covered with balloons and the tables were catered with all of the artist's favorite treats and meals. Confettie poppers could be heard from behind the counter where the new Luna family popped up with wide grins.

Two fang toothed children grinned brightly at Zora. Jason and Regine Luna, the two new additions to the family of witches. Like the rest of the Lunas, they had adorable noses though one could see their mother's influence as well. While Jason had a smile similar to his dad's, his eyes were much softer like his mothers. Regine, of course, inherrited those iconic puppy dog eyes that Chris was known for.

A young woman of average height offered a chill yet kind smile, Delainey 'D' Luna (nee' Harris). Like her children, she held a pair of fangs thanks to her vampire lineage. With her hair in braids, she had an look inspired by the 90's celebrity culture. Thanks to a black bandana covering her head that matched the converse on her fee she gave hints of the cool girl, even with the vintage Dungeons and Dragons shirt.

Finally was none other than Christopher Noe Luna, their best friend and planner of said party. Despite a few years passing, Chris still looked the same as the day they met. No doubt thanks to his witch side and maybe a healthy skin care routine.

A smile spreads across their face, "You guys! You didn't have to."

Chris and D could only shake their heads.

"Dude, we gotta. You're literally about to make a big ass step off the planet, it would be wrong if we didn't. Plus, it was their idea." Chris replied, hand ruustling the young Luna's hair.

Zora was then greeted by the family familars of Dee and Lord Quas, happily offering them cuddles. Knowing Quas and his theatrics, he thought this would be the last time he would get a chance to see the family close friend.

Zora was making preps to live off planet, journeying into the beyond. While they didn't know if it would be for good, the Luna's knew they would be gone for a while. As always they had their friends back, even if they would miss them dearly.

The night was filled with food, laughs, reminscing on fond and outright silly memories. Zora let out an uprorious laugh when they told the younger Lunas about how Chris and Delainey met.

"Oh trust me, I'll never forget your dad's face!" Zora laughed. "She literally said and I quote 'I could kill you where you stand'. Now tell me why Chris walks up to me talking about 'I...think I like her."

An embarrassed chuckle comes from Chris while his wife nods.

"Sure did, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw him again. Red roses and a card in his hand. 'Sorry about the misunderstanding...I hope this makes it up to you'." Delainey imitated her husband before giving him a playful nudge. "But he was cute and made it up to me with dinner."

"Then we had dinner or went to a movie every weekend before you...staked your claim on me."

A collective eye roll ensued.

"Oooooooooh brother! This guy stinks!" D laughed with another nudge, making Chris smile.

The youngest, Jason, looked up at Zora. Presenting them with a small wrapped box. Unwrapping the young man's gift, the artist found a box for a CD player along with a homemade CD. In a childish drawing, the cover displayed a picture of him playing ukulele to a planet sized crowd.

"...Um...I made some songs you might like. Like my own but there's also other songs you like on there..."

Z offered him a smile, rustling the adorable dreads on his head. "Oooh! I get the first CD? I'll make sure to keep it so you can sign it once you're famous." they chuckled, bringing an emberassed blush to the boys face.

Regine on the other hand, offered up a drawing. No doubt influenced by the anime her mom watched with her. Depicting the Lunas and Z as characters in an action manga.

"Me and Mom drew all of us as characters in my comic, I'm still figuring out the plot. But you get the first concept art!" Regine grinned.

"Ah! Glad to see creativity runs in the family! I'll make sure to keep this around when I need inspiration." Zora chuckled, pulling the young Luna in for a hug. For a moment, just for a second Z the thought of staying appeared in their mind but they wanted to stick to their plan.

"Well since everyone wanna give gifts or whateva, me and Chris made you a little something too." Delainey said, presenting a medium-sized white box. "A little something for when you go back in a more human form and want to flex on some people."

Curious, Zora opened said box. Inside was a custom carhartt jacket. On the right chest piece was a red and green logo inspired by Tribe's low-end theory album. The back held a design of the various Tribe members in a comic book style, reminiscent of MF DOOM's All Cap video.

"Chris made the designs, I just helped get it onto the jacket. It's a Carhartt so it'll last you a minute." she shrugged.

"Oh...man...this is," Zora took another look. "Beautiful...you guys really went all out on this...! Thank you..."

Chris offered up a smile.

"I mean we had to you're family, Zora. Always have and always will be."

The family said their goodbyes, each giving Zora a hug and promises of seeing each other again. D offers up the bakery as a place to stay if they decide to return before finally leaving the two best friends.

The duo stared at each other for an eternal moment before laughing, though one could see a tear forming in the baker's eyes.

"I knew you were gonna crack first!" Zora teased, making Chris shake his head.

"Nah, I saw you hesitate when Regine hugged you!" Chris replied, hand wiping away the teardrop. They finally embraced one another, Chris offering a squeeze. He knew this day was coming but he still wasn't prepared for it. Chris couldn't help but tear up at his best friend leaving. Despite the oncoming waterworks, the baker finally found the words he wanted to say to his friend.

"...I love you dude, "Chris finally spoke. "I'm gonna miss you, just know that. I don't know if you're gonna come back...but you always got a place here."

Even Z couldn't resist their own oncoming tears.

"I love you too," Z replied. "You guys are gonna be missed too...I appreciate everything you guys did for me. I'll be around at some point. I promise."

[jencva]

There's some weird and stupid shit going on in the background that I have no obligation to be a part of and there's really REALLY no where else I feel like I can put this, so here we go RANT TIME.

My mom wants me to have thanksgiving with my dad. My biological dad. My biological dad that my mom's divorced 28 some odd years ago and that I've never seen nor been in contact with in that entire time span, since he was abusive. I don't know this man other than his participation in creating my existence. NOT ONLY does she want ME to have dinner with this man, but invited him to have thanksgiving with me, my brothers, and her NEW HUSBAND, at THEIR house. She wants to have me sit at a table, with my neglectful, abusive biological father, with my new step father, my brothers, and herself. A thanksgiving dinner. But you may be asking: why in THEE FRESH FUCK is your mother inviting her ex husband to thanksgiving and letting him into this newfound family? I have no clue OTHER THAN the fact that he is dying. Ironically of testicular cancer. Now, I understand cancer is literally the worst thing someone can die from, cancer is no laughing matter. But when it comes to someone who's neglected me, made no effort to reach out or change, I don't know if this makes me a complete asshole, but I don't really care. I don't know him enough to care and even thinking about this concept makes me feel like I'm stepping into a horror movie. I'm literally going to be living that scene in Arcane where I'm tied in a chair staring down thee most disgraced human being alive in my story, and it honestly makes me wanna throw up. HERE'S THE KICKER I don't think she's told my brothers at first until my little brother called and said that he wants to wholeheartedly skip this dinner, as do I. My first answer, when my mother had the audacity to even ask this of me was: ABOSLUTELY NOT. With some guilt trippy words later, I told her I would but ONLY because she asked. But since my little brother wants to skip it, and my older brother is also on the fence about this idea, I am obligated to text my mother and tell her I've simply changed my mind. I do not owe this man peace of mind, I am not going to be used as some sort of token of redemption for his guilt, nor waste my energy being mad or yell at him for the things he's done wrong in the past, and not making an effort going forward. It's a waste of my time. I'm also considering taking a break from seeing my mother, which is hard, but this strange dynamic she wants from me and the boys is almost delusional and unhealthy. I love her and she is my only mother, which is why I wanted to grace her with this request, but damnit I'm 30 and have the right to say no to this twisted horror show. I'm out.

[loafbreadcake]

about father

starting of with a strong heavy topic tw/ abuse, death, suicidal thoughts

It's hard to describe him. My father had a really rough childhood and life in general. Still has. His father and brother tragically died when he was still a toddler. He grew up with his mother, my grandmother. In my opinion she is and was in deep depression her whole life there forth my dad probably didn't grow up in the best environment. He also didn't have a male role model, so he never knew what a healthy father, brother or husband should look like. Plus he also most likely grew up hearing stuff like if you're a man and you cry or talk about your feelings youre weak. Plus he experienced all sorts of other hard bullshit.

Now that he's a grown man he seems to me like he's extremely insecure, childish, has extreme anger issues, hates everyone around him including himself.

Yet at the same time he's like a small child who needs a warm hug from a father, encouraging words from an older brother. Just hear someone nearby tell him that everything will be okay

Like I said he has extreme anger issues. Me and my younger brother used to to be scared of him. Now my brother and my father talk all the time and me and my father fight all the time.

He emotionally abuses my mother. Even hit her a few times. He doesnt do that anymore but still, it happened in the past. She can literally be sitting on a coach watching tv, cleaning the house or just be breathing air and my father would always somehow absolutely go berserk on her. I heard them argue more than them having natural conversations. That's not an over exaggeration. I have no idea how my mom is dealing with all of this. I can't help her. At all.

He had a previous unsuccessful marriage as well but I don't know any details about it.

When you talk to him it's like you're walking on eggshells. He never hit me or my brother though and he never would. Father constantly says how much he loves us. And I believe that to be true

He wants to spend time with us all the time, talk to us, he constantly says that if we're unsure about anything or if something is bothering us we can always come talk to him. He also spoiled us when we were little and still does to be honest

I'm not sure if I want his love though And I'm not sure why He desperately wants a connection with me and I desperately want nothing to do with him And that's such a bad thing to say. I feel so guilty. Sometimes he gets drunk and comes to my room, complains about it being messy, about how I'm constantly on my computer, about my school performance, then he cries and tells how much he loves and misses me, how much he wants to spend time with me and talk to me, how sorry he is for yelling, how hard life is for him, how hard it is to do everything financially on his own, how he cant take it anymore

I remember he used to say to me how he'll go away one day and never come back when I was little when we had a bigger argument. He still says that sometimes now but in a more specific way. He says that when grandmother dies and if me and my brother leave him after that too he's not going to continue living anymore. He will "go away and never come back"

He never had a father to talk to So now that he is one he desperately wants to have a good connection with his children

I'm kind of trying I think I try not to argue back, to talk to him more about personal life at school, but it's hard On top of all this I'm struggling to talk to people about my stuff in general

I feel so bad Despite the shit he does to my mom, the yelling and other bullshit he does he still desperately wants to be a good father, in a perfect happy family, that has fun together on vocations, chats over dinner and tells each other how much they love each other

And it's not like I have a bad life Quite the opposite I have a phone, a laptop, delicious food made by both my parents, I go to school, I have a roof over my head, I get allowance if I need any, I have a cute dog, a bike and tons of other stuff I'm grateful for all of this So, theoretically, talking or spending time with my lonely father should be a no brainer, a normal thing to do "in return"

I'm a selfish, insensitive kid and I don't know what to do I hate that things arent black and white I hate that my father loves me

My father, this angry, tired man needs help This whole family needs it And I don't believe they will ever get it

Like I said, I'll try to be less argumentative, Ill try to be friendlier, try to spend more time with my family

Before anything awful happens Kind of a goofy thing to end this with but my father kind of reminds me of Steve Zissou from "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" personality wise.

If Steve's personality quirks were cranked up to the max and if he wanted to be a dad he would probably be just like my father

This actually is one of my favorites movies The main character in my favorite movie reminds me of my father and I don't know how to feel about that

[originalitysquared]

Thinking constantly about how my ancestors struggled and were looked down at for centuries and it all percolated through suffering to end up at me, Light skin Mexican who speaks English without an accent. Would they be proud of me? I hope so. I never wanted to be white, I never turned my back on them. I was always just a product of my surroundings and that includes minorities that were punished for not looking and sounding like everyone else.

[word vomit under cut]

So what did Grandma do? Shacked up with a light skin Mexican with blue eyes despite him being a terrible cheater that even slept with her sister. My mom was born into an angry marriage where my grandma had child after child just to keep my grandpa around because he was still cheating on her. What does she do? Pack up and move to Seattle and marry a white sailor with a doctor for a daddy. The spoiled child she called a husband didn't actually help her and she had a hard pregnancy with her first child (premature). Only to get pregnant again but have no one believe her because she was still having a period. She was gaslit for who knows how long by their entire family. Her husband's dad, being a doctor, had connections in the state and they were going to institutionalize her. Before institutionalizing her the literal institution ran a blood pregnancy test on her, and guess what, she was pregnant with my sister. She told me so many stories of living in Central Florida and having people come up to her children (my siblings) and saying they were so clean and well cared for and who did she work for and if she would work for her. About how some neighbor lady called my brother a half breed in the street and all she could do was go to that lady's house and bang on her door but she never opened it. Then the marriage doesn't work out. She gets a divorce. She gets to go back home to her little hometown where everyone is Mexican.

AND WHAT DOES SHE DO? Why, HAVE ANOTHER CHILD. OF COURSE.

I can only assume that my mom genuinely has BPD or narcissism or some other "chronically self serving" mental issue because get this:

My mom decided to sleep with a man that was part of one of the big families in town. Like there's a huge bell tower at one of the oldest and nicest churches with my Dad's grandparent's names on it, that kind of family. She had no intention of marrying my dad, he proposed twice and she said no both times. She was a single mom in the projects, on all sorts of welfare, sleeping with a big fish in a tiny tiny tiny pond.

My first memories of my mom and dad's relationship are from when I was around 5. My dad would call the house, over and over and over and over. and that's what I remember, my mom telling my sister that my dad had called over 20 times that day but she still wouldn't answer.

I remember this one time my dad took me out for dinner, and mom had made me wear my Christmas dress which I didn't understand why, I hated wearing dresses but I did as I was told and my dad came to the house to pick me up and he said "[Name] you look like a million dollars" and that was probably the last time my dad complimented me. This was when I was around 6, so shortly after my mom took him to court and proved with paternity that he was my dad. I remember seeing the results and being very sad that I would never be rescued by my "REAL" family because the state of Texas had proven this was my real family.

My dad always called me by my first and middle name. It's very southern that way. If you just say my first and last name, you get the most generic Mexican name possible. There are over 30 women with just my first and last name in San Antonio, I checked lol. But my last name is my mom's and I think he never got over the fact that I wanted to be the generic ass Mexican last name and I never wanted his long German last name. At his funeral they put my first and middle name in his obituary. The newspaper of my tiny tiny shitty hometown called up my aunt to ask what my last name actually was, she PROUDLY stated her own maiden name. My dad's family seemed mean and cold and aloof. In that moment I felt so bad for my dad. He was an all-around shitty human being, he deserved no pity. but like, these were his surroundings, you know? He was just a product of his surroundings, just like my mom was a product of hers.

and here I am.

[true-unicorn-queen]

Months ago my asshole father drank the bottle of whiskey I bought for myself because it was his money. As if he wasn't the one who desperately wanted me here in the first place just so he could prove to my mother's parents that he was actually a good husband and father.

But he won't drink the beer recommended by the doctor for his skin condition and cites that Hindu's don't drink. (This is a lie.)

Then he literally tried to choke me and my whole family is telling me that it's my fault. That I egged him on.

Today he very dramatically ate cereal for dinner because I didn't cook. I've been sick for the last three days he didn't once ask how I was doing. He didn't tell me I had to cook for dinner despite there being more than enough food from lunch. Still he just had to tell me or wake me up. But no, he wanted to make me feel bad.

And when I rightfully call him out on stealing my childhood, college and adult life somehow I'm still the bad guy.

My whole life my whole family's goal was to settle in a foreign country because, and I kid you not, it says so on my father's horoscope.

Look I'm not denying he has worked hard to get us here. Doesn't mean the rest of my family didn't. Doesn't mean I didn't. I kept my grades up my whole school life, I didn't get in any trouble, I kept out of dating coz what would people say - her dad isn't there so she's a slut, I was the perfect student, the best daughter; no child, in all of out extended family on both sides. I'm the girl, the only one, that everyone agrees has the most potential. And all for what. To what end. These monsters can't even acknowledge the damage they did. God knows they can't compensate financially coz after all these years, decades, all the pain, blood, sweat and tears, we are still not financially well off.

And that man wants to leave everything and go to the Himalayas for peace. What about our peace? He didn't do anything every other father doesn't have to do - provide for his family. In the most conservative, het context - provide for his family is the only thing a man is expected to do. Make decent money. And he didn't do that. We would be nowhere without my mom, and she has her own problems but she did keep us well. If he wasn't there nothing about our life would have changed. I would have finished college, my brother would have finished school, and it would have kept going. He has been a financial black hole my whole life. I couldn't join a NASA program (yes, there was a time when I qualified for those) because it would cost money. I couldn't do both music and dance classes coz it would cost money. I couldn't buy a new piano for the class I was doing, or a new guitar for the class I wanted to do. I never asked for new clothes to the point that my mother complains that I don't.

All for what? So he could be a sexist asshole? So I could be in a foreign country and be afraid to go out. Too afraid to talk to people, to flirt with a stranger. So I would always think about the finances when thinking about going to a bar or a club (you know the traditionally way people meet people). So that I wouldn't feel accomplished and no one would say otherwise despite having 13K subscribers in one year. So I won't be able to go to my master's degree classes coz I can't get out of my door room without 10 minutes of prep or jumping out the window? So that my brother would have to take a job, something no Indian family would allow without feeling immense shame. To let the son work when the father is alive. So that handing the doctor a 500 rupee note for my therapy would have my mother's hand shaking back and forth.

And he still doesn't get it. Doesn't get how much I've given to this family. But he will snide at me for not having a meal prepared despite me being sick.

No parent in the whole wide world is worse than an Indian dad to his daughter. He loves her, so much. But his love expects obedience. I have too much burning inside me to obey anyone.

dealing with a narcissist be like. this person will never ever understand that they’re wrong, they will never understand that hurting others is wrong, that their actions are cruel or that what they do is unacceptable. it’s like dealing with someone who will no matter what commit atrocities and then play dumb about it and expect to be coddled and praised for it. and if you try to explain they rage or cry or both. it’s like they don’t even understand they’re forcing you to throw your self esteem into the trash while they do it. they punish and guilt you for trying to defend any boundaries like it’s a natural thing to do. you’re left in confusion and self doubt, all while suppressing mountains and mountains of trauma, injustices, neglect, violations, humiliation and crimes against your person, and it never stops. 

[gay-kurapika]

My family was talking about potentially going to Texas on a mini vacation around Christmas and they very specifically made it clear I wouldn't be going, like my parents offered to pay my sister and her husband and kid and then said they'd only need two rooms since my mom and dad would be in the other, and talked as if it was a given that their plans would be the six of them (sister, bil, their kid, mom, dad, and brother) without me. Like I think you all should know I haven't been exaggerating about the way my family is very blatant about how they don't want me, care about me, or consider me one of them. Like my hatred for them and my desire to stop trying to appeal to them in the hopes that I'll eventually earn their love comes from the fact that they have deliberately excluded me from feeling like part of the family my entire life. This isn't a new thing. When I was a kid my mom would do a morning routine with my sister and my brother but she isolated me by dropping me off with my grandmother. Then when my grandmother got too old for that my mom brought me to school early and I would eat school breakfast and sit in the library while my siblings slept in and she made them breakfast. Even now they call it family dinner and I'm not invited which is legitimately funny because I fucking live with them right now. When I was a kid my dad made it clear he wanted my siblings and that my mom basically baby trapped him into having me, and my mom stopped liking me when she learned about my lesbianism and mental issues, as if 90% of my mental issues weren't caused by childhood neglect. She mentioned she only spent 3 months with me as a baby as opposed for 3 years with my brother and 2 with my sister. It's like hilarious honestly, but the fucking vacation thing just made it funnier because I was standing right there like. Literally as they planned it. And my sister was looking all guilty and avoiding my eyes because she knows they do this on purpose but she doesn't care enough to ever say anything about it. I bet you anything she'll text me later and try to say I should go visit my friend during that time because the house will be empty or something. She'll try to save face, she always does. She did when they took her and her husband to Vegas too.