#literally watched 7.5 hours of deforest kelley stuff with people

[trek-tracks]

It’s weird to me that I spent the entire day yesterday celebrating DeForest Kelley's birthday and then what did I dream about? Not TOS Bones, but of hanging out with Karl Urban.

This is the latest in my string of increasingly bizarre dreams about The Boys, a show which, I cannot emphasize enough, I have not even seen five minutes of and know very little about (I've seen some gifs). In this one I was hired to play Butcher’s long-lost superhero daughter, (which makes zero sense given our respective ages), so I was spending a lot of time on set trying to learn the ropes of the show. According to my dream, Butcher’s superpower was to turn into a giant worm.

I asked Karl how that was helpful and he said: “It’s not.”

“...Except for that one episode where we had to tunnel through some dirt."

And I was like...fair enough.

He said “they don’t use it a lot because the effects are expensive so usually I’m just fighting and brooding.”

My superpower involved solving crossword puzzles. Basically, I had a bunch of blank puzzles, and if I solved a word in the puzzle, that thing would appear. So, many of the solutions were, like, “flaming arrow.” Karl was very impressed that I could solve big crossword puzzles in real life, because he was incapable of actually turning into a giant worm.

The big plot of the year was that Butcher’s ex was pregnant (by whom I don’t know, maybe him) and extremely angry and was sustaining herself by eating human flesh like a zombie. There was an evil law firm that was somehow involved in allowing this to continue. I asked Karl if this made any sense within the arc of the show (again, I can't stress how little I actually know about the show) and he said “just roll with it and don’t think about it too much. That’s what I always do.”

Anyway we wound up at some kind of cast bonding trip on the beach and I kept trying to get a good picture with him to show you all because I thought you’d never believe me otherwise (forgetting, for some reason, that it would be obvious when I was starring in the same show as his kid that we knew each other), but all I had was a crappy 2004 digital camera. He was pretty good at using it, though, because he said his friend Chris Pine never had new tech either. That’s when I admitted that Bones was my favourite Trek character, and we wound up having a conversation about that.

At the end of the trip, we went back to shooting and it turned out that the evil we were fake fighting in the show was real and we had to fight it in real life using modified versions of our TV show powers. It was very complicated. I was about to get killed by an evil hockey player (we were shooting in Toronto, after all) when Karl turned into a giant worm and flattened him. After the fight, back in human form, he was like, huh, I guess I actually can do that in real life.

The season was very successful and we were renewed, and I was really excited about it, until we found out that the big plot twist was that I wasn’t really Butcher’s daughter and this season I was going to date his son (does he even have a son? I have no idea). So I walked off the set because I was afraid Tumblr was going to cancel me for fake incest.

We were renegotiating the plot when I woke up

Anyway, sorry for subjecting you to one of my truly strange dreams, but you’ll all be happy to know that Dream Karl the Sometimes Giant Worm and I are friends now.