#literally this is what i've rejoined tumblr for. this one thought

[hyperfixationchamber]

it's the great comet, richie

you take richie to see natasha, pierre and the great comet of 1812. it's not too hard to convince him because he's trying to get himself more cultured-like, and learn to appreciate art better -

he's nervous. it's a musical. he's not used to this shit where everyone sings how they're feeling all the fuckin time (and all the fuckin dancing) - but you wanted to see it and you wanted him to go with you; so here he is, a little clammy, sitting uncomfortably upright and aware of his height and the first song starts and he's even more nervous because there's so many words being said so quickly and everyone has 9 different names and they are in the programme but is he supposed to read that during? the show? isn't that like, rude - he's trying his best, for you, and slowly he gets into it like, hey, this music's okay

but then, at the end of act 1, pierre sings

and he understands

Is this how I die? Was there ever any other way my life could be? Is this how I die? Such a storm of feelings inside of me?

But then why am I screaming? Why am I shaking? Oh God, was there something that I missed? Did I squander my divinity? Was happiness within me the whole time?

[roseshewrites]

RadioApple Week ; ~DANCE~ I forget the day number oops)

Am I doing this right?! I completely missed this whole week because I literally just rejoined tumblr. Anyway, here's my out of context mid-fanfic contribution to RadioApple Week. (You'll have to forgive the inconsistencies of Alastor's knowledge of the song it's an unedited WIP, regardless one of my favorite scenes)

-Getting the ballroom ready for a patron's wedding venue

-Fred Astaire songs ensue

**********

"You shouldn't apologize." 

Alastor looked away from Lucifer at the blue windows, as if invested in them instead of what he had just seen- a magnetic little creature bouncing and brimming with ideas, his eyes shining with the love of dreams and invention. Lucifer was... 

Well, he was rather cute at that moment.

"Pardon?" 

"Oh," Alastor said, "I mean, you shouldn't apologize for loving something. Don't bring yourself down. It will turn you cold." 

He allowed a true grin and added, "Anyway, if you should turn all depressed and miserable on us, your daughter will have a fit, and that ruins everyone else's day." 

"Yeah you're right," Lucifer said. "Huh. So what do you know about being depressed and miserable?" 

"Nothing at all," Alastor responded airily, "Shall we let Charlie know this may be the only available room?" 

"Sure." 

Lucifer turned around and on a whim it seemed, made blue and white twinkle lights appear around the ceiling rim with a wave of his hands, making the room seem full of starlight. 

Alastor heard him whistling a tune from behind him.

"What is that from?" It sounded familiar. 

Lucifer chuckled, "You're a fan of tap dance, and you don't know Fred Astaire? He is *the* king of tap. It's from Top Hat." 

"I don't watch picture shows."

He was lying. He remembered that song, now. He'd seen the movie, used to play it on repeat back when he'd actually owned a television set...before Vox had inexplicably ruined them for him.

"You should. You'd like that one. *Isn't this a lovely day to be caught in the rain?*," Lucifer sang. 

Alastor heard the little patter of a tap routine being conducted behind him and he whirled about to see it, amused. 

"You dance like Fred." 

Lucifer tried out a few different simpler footworks.

"Thought you don't watch 'picture shows.' And really? I always thought I was more of a Ginger." 

"I've seen it. And Fred's style is ecstatic. Well. More airy...he'd off and fly away if he didn't have her to  ground him." 

"You were going on your way now you've got to remaaaain..." 

"Oh, do stop, we have things to do." Alastor shoved him away, only for the little king to bounce back on his left, continuing to sing, "Just as you were going, leaving me all at seaaa! Gah!" (Alastor had shoved him again) 

"The clouds broke! They broke, and oh, what a break for mee!" 

Alastor whirled to get in his face, "Will you not shut your trap!" 

"I will after you dance with me. I know you adore the routine. I can see it. Your feet don't lie," Lucifer grinned. 

Alastor did. He knew how the song continued. He knew every inch of this scene; he'd watched it many times. It was one of the only movies he *would* sit and watch.

I can see the sun up high, though we're caught in a storm... 

I can see where you and I could be cozy and warm.

He remembered the expressiveness of Ginger's face as Fred cooed this song to her, giving him the time of day only in her smile, then giving up halfway through the song to let herself dance with him. 

Alastor let his radio crackle into the air, summoning the rest of the song with ease. 

"Let the rain pitter patter, but it really doesn't matter if the skies are gray...long as I can be with you, it's a lovely day!"~, Fred Astaire's voice echoed about the empty and softly lit ballroom. 

"You win. I'll dance," Alastor smirked, "But can you keep up?" 

"Oh it's on, Ginger!" Lucifer chuckled. 

"Then take it away, Fred." 

Astaire was a leader in his style, and Ginger a follower. Lucifer...there was that dominating presence again, that shine of confidence as they moved together, their footsteps and the song echoing around the room in tandem. It was one of the only times, Alastor thought, that he did not mind dancing in a style was more fluid, more of a matcher for his partner, and Lucifer's beat and energy was right on time with his. 

"Do you know round? How about swing?" Alastor tried a deviation from the movie routine and barely gave Lucifer time to adjust, but he caught on quickly, his deep laugh bouncing off the walls, then lost it just as fast but cracking up again as he tried to regain his balance. 

"Those are my feet you are trampling all over, sir," Alastor complained, catching Lucifer before he could stumble again and hit the floor. 

The music was reaching the faster part now, the bit that was full of thunderstorm noises and lightning, but they both were stationary- 

"Hah," Lucifer, still in Alastor's arms, looked up at him grinning, "A good dance partner you are not. Who throws styles all over the place like confetti?" 

"Hmm perhaps it's your fault for not reading my mind," Alastor responded. 

"Hey radio face, if I could read your mind, I'd have a whole lot of answers to a whole lot of questions I have right now." 

"Lucifer...shut up." 

"Make me," Lucifer challenged. 

Alastor kissed him. 

It was Lucifer's turn to make a noise of surprise and protest, to resist just the tiniest bit, push at Alastor's chest with his hands uselessly, then quickly melt...his lips were hot, and skilled, and now that Alastor was close to him again, he was detecting a soft sweet scent like perfume or shower soap.. 

Or..apples.

Just when Alastor wished it to go on further Lucifer drew them apart, whispering, his breath warm on his lips, and said, "Alastor...you're confusing the *shit* out of me right now." 

"Hmm...well," Alastor murmured, then grinned, "Payback's just an ornery old bitch, isn't it?"- he patted Lucifer's cheek sassily, "We should go and see what your daughter thinks of the room." 

With that, he left Lucifer behind, who was muttering some curse or other under his breath. 

[pbpsbff]

happy 1 year of r&r :)

i know it's a lil cringe to like. celebrate the birthday of a series on ao3 but r&r is literally my child. my baby. i birthed this series. and you all signed up for this when u started reading my fics thank u

soooooooo thank u guys for all the support i've received over r&r i know it's hard to stay a consistent reader when my posting schedule is entirely non existent but i am so grateful for everyone who's stuck around this long and been with me for this journey (calling it a journey because a year ago i did not have any sort of overarching plot in mind and now we're 17? 18? fics deep and so many things have happened and i'm usually just as surprised as my readers) it's rlly u guys that have kept me going this long

ANYWAY. i rewrote this like 500 times cause i hate being like. overly sappy on this account because it's way funnier to act like a celebrity with a huge ego, but real talk i am so proud of everything i've done w this series & what it's become in the past year

i've been posting my writing online since i was like 10, so we're going on almost 9 years now and i don't think i've ever ever ever received as much support for something as i have for r&r and something about that is soooo special to me??? idk it's just so nice to see a completely self indulgent series become so loved by others, especially since the only other fics i had up before gmm&m were a little more on the "i'm gonna write what seems popular right now" side???

like shoutout to everyone who was here before/around when i started the series because my account was so empty like. 2 fics and one gets updated every 6 months. r&r pulled me out of the trench i fear. it also cured me of my very horrible disease that makes me delete all my fics after 9 months and then completely disappear from a fandom so everyone say thank you r&r

but yeah idk where i'm going with this i'm very grateful for r&r and all the friends i've made and people i've met through it because i was very lonely before i rejoined tumblr and r&r was like. 90% of the reason i made my account

AND SPEAKING OF FRIENDS. thank u to

@spidergrotto & @sapoteylx for being the first ppl i met on here to openly talk about and support r&r which i thought was so so cool even if you guys have become my haters in the past few months i've known you :/ thank u r&r nation u keep me humble and miserable (and i am very thankful for our friendship i think some aspects of r&r would be very different if we'd never met)

& ao3 user classactical because you've been here since like. a month or two into the series i think and i always always always look forward to your comments because i feel like if you comment, i did a good job on the fic LOL thank u for sticking around for so long, even if ao3 has been actively working against you for a whiiiiile

there's a lot more i want to say and a lot of people i want to mention but that would take a very long time and i always feel weird tagging a lot of people in posts so just know if u read r&r we are kissing rn. or high fiving idk whatever floats ur boat i guess

but yeah anyway tl:dr happy birthday r&r i'm very proud of this series & very thankful for everyone who has read any part of it ever u guys are so cool and hot and have amazing taste and i'm taking your kudos and bookmarks etc. as you swearing your allegiance to me and promising me your undying support no matter what (legally binding btw) thank u guys

[whorejolras]

im always down to hear more about the amis sw au!! :DDD

yay i was hoping someone would bc i could talk about it all day 🥰🥰🥰

this one was born from two things 1. ever since i started sex work i've wanted to write sex worker grantaire, and 2. when i rejoined tumblr & started reading fic again last year i thought "oh i remember that one fic where he is a sw" and found it and took psychic damage from the whorephobia 😖

so i went what if i did a similar prompt but sw informed instead of... that. (is it bad that what's turned into one of my fave au's was born out of spite lol)

anyway i also had a wip where les amis were like a radical anarchist group of hackers/political assassins and i always imagined r as a sw in that so i kinda merged the two and it's become this.

Grantaire does independant full service work and is a performer who dances at kink events and clubs etc. which is where most of les amis meet him.

i'm really trying to balance between informative and true to my knowledge of my industry, subtly breaking down prejudices readers might come in with, while also being pure 100% not realistic fantasy with 10/10 smut.

the fantasy being "what if a sex worker had a whole bunch of really hot, kind, interesting, respectful clients who were all people he could be friends with irl AND they were all friends with each other AND they were awesome anarchist political assassins who needed him to move into their secret base while they went into hiding bc they couldn't visit him anymore and just couldn't live without it 😩" like that's all crack none of that would ever really happen lol 😭

also the greatest smut scenes i've ever written are in this wip. i'm quite proud of them. i'm excited to bring this fandom some realistic and hot sex scenes written by someone who is literally a professional in the subject 🫡

if anyone wants i can try to find a good excerpt 👀

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

i figured i would respond personally because once again, you caught me completely off guard with that ask. you have a knack for that huh lol

i digress, i think the first thing i felt was genuine surprise because you are not only beloved by me but so many others on this site. i see it every day on the dash and it doesn't shock me because you're one of the most loving, funny, talented, supportive, kind, thoughtful & compassionate people i've had the pleasure of knowing in recent times. you've taken the time to write such a beautiful & heartfelt message for anyone else, but you thought of me first. i can't tell you how much that means to me, i'm literally sitting here and crying as i type this out because i'm very emotional and extremely grateful. it's been a long time since i felt part of a community anywhere, especially since i started to feel differently about the boys and i wasn't sure if there was a place for that. then i rejoined tumblr, which i wasn't too keen on doing at first but i thought why not, and i'm glad i did because i met you. you've cemented a space in my life and in my heart, and i don't say that lightly because it's difficult for me to let people in.

i've a lot to thank you for: noticing that i reblog everything in coordinated colour schemes because i need cohesion, thinking to tag me in things no matter how busy you get (and you're even doing this now while on vacation, i don't deserve you), making me smile with all your comments, witty tags & random asks, indulging me in calling you when i know you don't do it often & think you're too quiet but you're not, i simply talk too much lol (i'm glad that worked out, you're stuck with me forever in that sense) but most importantly? the gift of who you are and your friendship, it's more than i could've asked for in the year that we've come to know each other

i appreciate the well wishes, i know i'll adjust and adapt; if only time would be gracious and make that happen sooner rather than later sigh. i've never been one for the holidays, it always reminds me of a sad time because of the passing of a loved one and this year i had other reasons to be sad about it, but being showered with all of the love you and others have to give has brought me a modicum of joy and i'll take it. i hope your holidays are wonderful & you enjoy your time off, i look forward to hearing from you soon as i always do. all my love and take care 💗

now you’re going to make me cry!!! and i didn’t expect to get such a heartfelt message in response but i should have known just from knowing you 🤍🤍

i’m going to treasure these words you’ve said about me because sometimes i just feel inadequate and lonely but i feel such a community here it’s kind of intoxicating but it’s so wonderful to know that kind souls like you are out there and that spaces like this exist where we can all meet over what starts as just common interests but sometimes blossoms into something even more meaningful than that like genuine friendship and I’m so grateful for that here, with you, and with many of you that i’ve met here 🤍🫶

i hope you can feel all our love in the dark times but also in all the light times and just all the time 🤍🤍🤍🤍✨

[midnightfreeway]

so i just finished watching bad buddy for the third time. coincidentally, today is also the six-month anniversary of me watching the show for the very first time. naturally, i'm in a bit of a sentimental mood and want to shout my love for this story.

i have fallen deeply in love with this show. i didn't expect it to happen. it's been years and years since i've been so into something. for a while, i even thought my most intense fandom days were past me because nothing was catching my interest the same way as before. sure, i have enjoyed several books and tv shows over the last few years, but it was nothing like this.

i spend a lot of time thinking about bad buddy. so much time, in fact, that i feel a bit silly. i know, however, that this part of my life won't last forever, so i've decided to sit back and enjoy the ride.

sometimes i wonder what is it about certain stories that make me love them so much. in this case, i think it's because bad buddy is so perfectly tailored to my interests. it has just the right combination of drama, romance and comedy for me. i like stories that are generally lighthearted but also get more serious when the situation calls for it. i love pat and pran individually and i love them together. i love their relationship and how they weather the storms together and that their love for each other never wavers. i love that they included a gl storyline in the show. i love the silly shirts and the callbacks and the queer longing in episode 4. i love the iconic rooftop kiss and the subversion of tropes and episode 11 in its entirety. i could go on all day, honestly.

it was my third time watching bad buddy and i still enjoyed it immensely. at some point i was smiling so much that my cheeks hurt. the incredible thing about bad buddy is that i can quite literally feel my brain pumping out dopamine as i watch it. it never fails to make my day better.

it's safe to say that bad buddy is now one of my all-time favorite shows. the emotional high i got from watching it for the first time is quite literally second to none. there are only a few shows that have ever made me feel this way.

i can't talk about my love for bad buddy without talking about my journey with ql dramas. i'm still new to the genre—i only watched my first live-action bl in late 2022. bad buddy followed soon after, and it was the second ql i ever finished watching. it's a pure coincidence i'm here now; asian dramas, especially queer ones, are not well-known where i live. i only stumbled upon them because someone i followed on social media posted about them sporadically. had things gone a little differently, i would not have discovered this genre and bad buddy at all. i'd be out there living my life, completely oblivious to the existence of this story that has brought me so much joy over the past six months.

i'm so happy to be here, writing this love letter. i'm so happy to have rejoined tumblr and found this little corner of it where i can make posts about how much i love bad buddy. it's a story i'll keep close to my heart.

[sungbeam]

idk if you know this but like, every time i open tumblr/log back into this acc, you're in my notes or my dash and LIKE. YOU ARE THE MAIN REASON I WANT TO rejoin the community like!!! i so seriously want to be best friends with you!!! you are such a great person and i KNOW you're a talented writer, the day im back in the community is the day i run to you and jump in joy

also i can't thank you enough for recommending inc 🙇‍♀️ i showed the song to my s/o and it has held meaning to us ever since??? which is wild?? /pos

anyway i hope it's okay that i stop by in your inbox like this. literally love and appreciate you sm 🫶 i really mean it when i say you are the sole reason i want to return istg the positivity the joy the talent?????? ALL YOU??? just definitely thought you should know that

kshfksjf brb gonna go yell— OMG HI VAE !! (dunno what to call u pls correct me if i'm wrong lol) i'd love to be best friends with u too ?! (´Д⊂ヽ that makes me so incredibly happy to hear?? like i'm glad that seeing me in ur notifs and dash makes u wanna come back !! i keep going back to ur tbz masterlist as well cuz istg im gonna read every single thing on there (_ _;)

AHHHH U LIKED INC !!! that's so cool that it holds meaning btwn u and ur s/o now 🥺🥺 i've always thought of it as a romantic song, like not one of those overtly blatant romantic ones, but kind of more low-key and i just adore the vibes and story the lyrics tell and yeah 🫂 so happy i could rec it to u!

PLS POP INTO MY INBOX WHENEVER ABT WHATEVER !! seriously :') bc this message absolutely made my morning, i needed this really badly so thank u so much :') i hope u do return soon cuz i'd love to see u on the dash more often as well, but take all the time u need ofc!! wishing u well and sending love <3

[sluttypatrickstar]

hello! to talk personally for a moment here, i would like to share this video. it's a lot, and it's difficult to watch, but section 8 was so emotional for me.

i used to run a harry potter tumblr. it's still out there; i made this new account when i decided to rejoin the platform, because i wanted nothing to do with my old account. i experienced, like, the LEAST amount of transphobia and bigotry within the harry potter fandom. and yet, in a space that was supposed to be friendly and trans-inclusive, it frayed at the edges with the most socially acceptable kinds of bigotry. "ace people aren't real", cis people telling me "you have to have dysphoria to be trans" and speaking over my lived experiences because they were always right and i was always wrong. an ace friend of mine was chased out of a discord server by this bigotry. i stayed for a long time, gripping onto the delusion perpetuated by the server that they were such a friendly place full of kind people even as they told me my experiences didnt matter. the fandom was underscored by transphobia and bigotry, even among those who thought themselves to be allies. so for me, the books and the films are now tinted with pain. it has caused a spectrum of harm to trans people.

even now, with this new blog, i believe i talked about terfs once - to make fun of them. i have, like, 10 lovely followers -- not to complain, just to note that my blog is a tiny little space on the internet! and yet when i mentioned terfs, two of them showed up. one of them showed up to challenge me and ask for "evidence" of negative experiences my friends and other trans ppl had had with terfs. i am not providing evidence. i dont fucking have to, believe me or dont. i got an anonymous and hateful ask. it's the only ask i've ever received on this blog. all because i talked about terfs, someone showed up out of nowhere on my tiny little blog to be hateful to me.

i dont know where im going with this. i just saw someone share their experiences and i suddenly felt that i wanted to share my own. our experiences are radically different, a gulf apart. the harm committed upon me is a tiny fraction of the harm that other trans people have endured from terfs and harry potter fans. but sometimes i think, when we discuss the ways that harry potter has caused harm, it feels a little intangible. it's hard to imagine what that looks like. so i wanted to share the way it caused harm to me, the way that it enabled bigotry under the guise of friendship. i wanted to also show the way that u literally cant exist as a trans person on the internet without someone finding ur tiny blog OUTTA NOWHERE and sending you hate. this kind of behaviour is empowered by people like rowling. she has normalised transphobia and it is spiralling out of control and it is so terrifying.

my fellow trans people i love u, and my fellow trans people who were hurt by harry potter i love you and i am here for you always