#literally the top 15 are my favorite chapters of all time and everything below that i kind of stop thinking and just put it anywhere becaus

[simcardiac-arrested]

i accept no criticism at this time

[timelesslords]

So Under Freezing Stars is finally done 😭I’m incredibly sad it's over but also so happy with the finished product and with the response it's gotten over the past few months <3 

I thought it might be fun to compile some little details about the fic- easter eggs and callbacks to the original books, little thematic details and symbols I included, chapter parallels, stuff like that! Everything is below the cut to avoid spoilers, but hopefully y’all find it fun and it’s an interesting way to top everything off :’) 

Symbolism/Theme

the first time Annabeth drinks nectar, she can’t put a taste to it. This is because she’s in a transitional period with her identity, where she hasn’t quite solidified a sense of home. When she wakes up after being given nectar for the second time, her mouth tastes like apples because her and Perseus had split one together back on the ship. It’s the first food they shared together after she starts associating him with the concept of home, so the nectar takes on that taste. also apples are a sacred fruit of aphrodite so, ya know ;) 

Water plays a big role thematically. There’s the obvious connection to Perseus (whenever Annabeth is looking out into the sea during an unrelated conversation, it’s sort of supposed to indicate that he’s on her mind) but also the more traditional symbolic meanings of water— washing someone/something clean, renewal, rebirth, etc. all of which are themes of the book anyways so it worked out!! Chapters to watch for water symbolism would be 18 and 32 in particular but really anytime there’s an emphasis on the sea

the quote I chose for the epigraph (”Understand this if you understand nothing: it is a powerful thing to be seen”) is from Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi, one of my favorite books! In the context of Freshwater, this quote is when the main character (spoiler) meets someone from their culture who helps them realize they’re a god. It just felt like a particularly perfect way to start off the story, given how many parallels there are to that moment in Freshwater to the entirety UFS. Even without context it frames the story of one of self discovery, but particularly self discovery in tandem with another, which is exactly what I think UFS is about at its core. Freshwater is an incredible book that I owe so much to in terms of inspiring UFS thematically and I def recommend it, though please look up TWs for it beforehand bc it does contain a lot of triggering content.

another more obvious meta thing, the chapter titles switch from Latin to Greek after Annabeth realizes she’s Greek and not Roman 

Chapter Parallels 

 ch20 is called divinity because Annabeth views the sex as akin to a religious awakening— sleeping with her lover is both an act of worship and a revelatory experience wherein she comes to terms with the godly side of her identity. But chapter 33 is called mortal because the thing that makes them special together isn’t necessarily their parentage or their godliness, it’s their humanity. Gods can’t bare their souls to one another because they don’t have one. But mortals— vulnerable and breakable as they are— have that advantage, and when they sleep together the second time Annabeth is fully cognizant and appreciative of that fact.  

The drooling in sleep thing is obviously a callback to the OG books (it’s such an iconic first line I had to include it somehow lol) but it also has a thematic parallel (one that Annabeth actually points out within the narrative). That was one of the first moments she recognized he was human and not some unattainable figure, so it comes back to her later in ch33 when she's thinking about their mortality

In ch14, Piper offers to fix Annabeth’s hair as a peace offering. In ch33, Perseus untangles her hair for her because the idea of doing it herself is overwhelming for her. I just really like the idea of caring for someone else’s hair being an act of love towards that person :’) 

Easter Eggs/OG Book Callbacks

Blackjack asking for fried dough at the end of chapter 4 is a reference to him always asking for donuts in the original books (yes I did google “did they have donuts in ancient rome” for that lol)

The way they fight the hellhound in ch6 (Percy distracting in the front and Annabeth sneaking around the back) is their go-to fighting strategy in the books, which Percy comments on in BOTL

Obviously Jason passing out every 30 seconds is a reference to Jason getting knocked out like 3x a book in HOO (#brason)

Fai turning into a lizard in the Athens chapter is a callback to Frank the Iguana from MOA

the masthead of the ship being a dragon is meant to be reminiscent of Festus  

Other stuff!

Chapter 16 is named calm and chapter 17 is named storm bc 16 is the calm before the (literal) storm

Annabeth saying “is your head full of kelp” to percy in ch13 is the closest I could feasibly get to her calling him seaweed brain lol. I think in chapter 15 she also comments to herself that she feels like his brain is made of seaweed sometimes <3  

When Annabeth decides to let Jason and Piper wake up on their own instead of waking them up herself in ch32, it’s sort of a callback to previous comments she’s made about Jason not being a morning person. She’s still scared that he’ll be mad at her, and she doesn’t want to exacerbate that by waking him up early because she knows he’s in a worse mood in the morning. 

In the final conversation with Jason, Annabeth says “you’re always too hard on yourself” which is kind of a play on her last words to Luke in the original books (“you always pushed yourself too hard”). I don’t know why but I’ve always really liked that line, it feels very Annabeth, so I wanted to include it somehow. Jason isn’t dying but she does love him like a brother so that felt like a good place for it to go. 

something to generally look out for is how reliable or not reliable Annabeth’s narration is. She’s not like a Holden Caufield where she straight up lies to the audience, but her thoughts and observations are not always the most true version of what’s going on. This is probably most obvious in the Luke conflict (particularly chapters 21 and 23) but also when she has to read other people’s emotions and make assumptions about what they’re thinking based on that. A lot of times she’s straight up wrong and just doesn’t realize it (this is particularly relevant in ch14 lol)

another general thing to look at is chapter titles, particularly in the second half of the book. A lot of times the title of the chapter is one of the main themes of the story and that chapter is either an important plot point for that theme or a resolution of it! 

That’s all I can think of right now! I might update this later if I remember more but this is already stupidly long lol. I would apologize for turning my fic into an English assignment but if you made it this far you probably thought it was at least a little interesting, so 😂 

thank you guys again for reading <3 love you all!

[chidoroki]

Head empty, pre-TPN season 2 thoughts only.

Normally I don’t even bother with hiding spoilers but since the new season is so close I’ll put everything below a cut (if tumblr cooperates) because I do want anime-onlys to enjoy the season with as little knowledge to what madness is about to happen as possible. This is just a bunch of notes that filled my head over the past couple days.. weeks? A long time.. and if I didn’t write them all down somewhere I wouldn’t stop thinking about them.. so if you understand this whole mess, then kudos to you.

So, here’s your post-season 1/ch37+ spoiler warning.

Demon language:

With Mujika and Sonju making their grand first appearances, I hope actually implement the demon language this time?

The only word spoken in the language in season 1 was the demon god’s name, which was just changed to “Him” (sub) or “The One” (dub), so ignoring it there was fine.

Granted, our demon friends don’t say much in their language during the upcoming arc, aside from this moment in ch48, but I can see the anime passing it off as a mere whisper between the two of them just so they don’t have to worry about it.

I don’t recall any of the GP poachers using the language though.. right? Pretty sure they don’t..

Anyways, all I’m saying is that they better figure something out by the Ayshe shows up way later in future seasons.

Episode count? 24?

Short answer: I don’t think so? Did once, but stuff happened. Anyways..

Season 1 ended in March 2019, which is also when we learned we were getting a second season and once we found later on that S2 was originally going to air in October 2020, I immediately thought we were getting about 24 eps.

I thought with all that time between seasons, 24 eps would be reasonable and that S2 would end at ch101. S1 managed to adapt 37 chapters, so 64 chapters in a season twice as long sound decent enough, right?

By the time we reach ch101, it would give us the demon forest, shelter B06-32, Goldy Pond and the short trip to Cuvitidala. (all of which would make this long wait for s2 sooo worth it btw.)

By this point we learn a bunch about the outside world, Norman being alive, what happened to Phil, and the demon bastard himself.

I bring up ch101 as a stopping point because it’s the last chapter before the two year time skip and.. I honestly can’t see them doing a time skip mid-season?

I mean, they could if they wanted to, I guess? Having everyone age up suddenly between episodes via a montage, a quick summary or even flashbacks of what we missed.. but maybe at the start of a season? Not in the middle.

Right now we know anime original scenes are going to be included into season 2 so I’m kinda hoping that once we do eventually reach the time skip we learn more about the search Emma’s group went on for T7W/golden water/temples.

I counted. If S2 does indeed get this many episodes, ep23 (or 22, if there’s a break in between somewhere or whatever) will land on my birthday and you can bet I’ll be beyond happy

HOWEVER! all the hope I once had about a 24ep season vanished due to the clusterfuck that was 2020. Thanks to the worldwide pandemic, many anime were put on hold and pushed back several months, with TPN airing this month rather than the original October date.

It was a bummer hearing about the delay at first but I never complained about it. I much rather have the studios prioritize their employee’s health over production.

Even if S2 did reach ch101, or even Goldy Pond, they would need to find a ton of new voice actors, and with how the world is working now.. eh, I have some doubts.

Cloverworks also has two other series airing this month aside from TPN so needless to say they’ll be a bit busy, especially if employees are still working from home, social distancing, or however they’re managing to produce these anime.

So, episode count.. 12?

The main reason I have a hard time grasping the idea of another 12ep season at all is because.. I don’t know where it’ll be a decent place for it to stop?

S1 ending at ch37 with the kids escaping? Perfect. You can’t question that decision. But now? When a whole bunch of craziness is about happen? How do you choose another perfect moment to end a season with?

No matter how many anime original scenes they have planned for the demon forest, I believe we’ll at least reach B06-32, which will get us to ch52.

Could they go farther? Sure. Perhaps ending at ch59-60? It would leave us off with Emma & Ray leaving the comfort of the shelter to follow Yuugo into yet another demon infested forest, much like how S1 left off, as the escapees left their once safe, comfortable life into the unknown world.

Or end at ch64? After Emma gets snatched by the poachers? It could work. It would certainly leave everyone wanting more, especially us manga readers because goddamn the GP arc would be SO close!

Perhaps ch74 after seeing Norman alive? Just so it’s not a big darn secret anymore to those who are going into this season blind? (how do people manage to stay anime only? i’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.. i’m just impressed? i caught up to the manga right after s1 because i didn’t have the self control to wait!)

Ending on that chapter would be so bittersweet to me.. because you know what appears in ch75 and it’s literally one of the only things I care about.

S2 preview trailers already teased some of the demon forest scenes I’m most excited about, so the only things left that will truly excite me are Yuugo and that darn outfit. (seriously, whenever we do get to see emma in her gp outfit for the first time, someone better scream at me so i can die from happiness.)

Okay, and all the GP kids too.. especially their trio!

Could they fit the Goldy Pond arc into a 12 episode season along with every other event that came before it? I.. seriously hope not? 

Compared to s1, which was very dialogue heavy, GP is about as action packed as we’re gonna get in the near future, and those scenes are going to fly by once they get put into motion.

Quick example (because it was recent and i can’t think of something else atm): the Overhaul arc from My Hero Academia. Off the top my head it was about 40 total ch? That arc took up half of the show’s S4, which was a total 25 eps.

So with the GP ending at ch96, it’ll give us about 20-30 chapters (depending on where you personally see the start of this arc I guess? once yuugo leads the duo through the forest, when emma gets snatched or when the battle actually starts)

If GP were to happen in s2 where there’s 12 episodes.. literally everything would be so fast paced and I don’t want them to rush anything or leave stuff out?

Other options?

It’s very wishful thinking and I would be getting my hopes up for nothing, because I know it won’t happen, but I could possibly see them fitting GP arc if S2 was made up of 18eps?

6 eps for the demon forest, 6 for Goldy pPond, the remaining 6 to accommodate B06-32, Cuvitidala and any other anime original scenes as they wish.

Although fitting about 64 chapters into 12-18 episodes sounds a bit much.. but not really? I seriously have no idea at this point how much story we’re going to cover this season.

Could I perhaps place all my hopes towards a second cour later this year? Like for the summer.. or would I be expecting too much?

This all could’ve been avoided if they just tell us! Seriously, I’ve been thinking about episode count since last year.. and now you have to deal with this mindless chatter of mine.

I’d honestly be okay with another 12ep season though. We waited this long that I’ll just be excited to see all the children again.

Anime-only scenes:

Those 3 days the children spent learning from our demon friends? Yes please! Did you know Emma not only learned how to use a bow and arrow but a freakin’ harpoon as well? Like.. hello?? I must see this!

Perhaps they’ll even adopt some of the extra pages from some of the chapters, like they did in S1 with the flashback of Norman being sick in ep10.

I know this will be such a high hope, but I remember in ch177 how Emma claims that after they escaped, they all remembered how kind Isabella really was, so if they decide to adapt the extras from ch41-42 & ch45, I’ll cry.

And these pages? Cloverworks, please..

I’m literally begging here..

Especially these two! Even though I still doubt we’ll reach Goldy Pond if we get 12eps.. but in the future! Please!

Other random nonsense:

I may or may not get emotional upon seeing Isabella at the very start when she goes to confront Grandma Sarah. If her hair is kept down as it was at the end of S1 then I’ll give the anime staff my sincere thanks.

We only heard 15 seconds of “Identity” and yet it has been living in my head rent free ever since that trailer dropped. I need to hear the full song sooo damn badly, y’all have no idea.

Here’s hoping they don’t cut out the inner monologues again. At this moment I don’t remember any specific ones from the demon forest I want to see but I’m sure they’re present.

I’m ready to die at every cute Chris moment they give us.. and this entire scene where the kids scold Ray. 

Literally every scene with Emma & Ray. They’re my top 2 favorites from this series okay? Of course I’m going to fangirl over them. (they already showed the hug in one of the trailers and i damn near cried)

If we see him, (which i’m sure we will, but i still have tiny some doubts) I hope they give Yuugo a fantastic voice actor.

Also, his nicknames for everyone!! Literally everything about that man I’m hyped for.

Again, very doubtful we’ll get GP in a 12ep season, but whenever that arc decides to grace us with its presence, “63194” better play on full blast when ch92-93 gets animated.

Speaking of music, while I’m completely excited to hear the new OST that Obata has in store for us (thank god he’s doing this season again btw!), I hope we hear some of those unused tracks from the first season, specifically “Their Own Thoughts.”

Every time Emma mentions their future, their goals or how her family will always be together, I’ll cry. (thanks demon god and your stupid reward)

Yes I’ll be doing those reaction posts (if you follow me i’m sure you’ve seen them by now) after every new episode as I do with other series I watch.. once I survive the usual long day at work, avoiding anything TPN related so I can watch in peace and quiet when I finally get home.. damn it, im already so anxious, help.

[thewritewolf]

Eating Habits Chapter 13: Bliss

The semester is passing by quickly as Adrien and Marinette live happily together, supporting each other in everything they do. 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Her feet aching from the long week of classes fresh out of winter break, Marinette shambled up the stairs and blearily stood in front of the door to her shared home. Her faint hope that it would open on its own extinguished. A few long moments passed before she worked up the energy to open the door, slowly lifting her tired arms as if every centimeter of movement was an absolute chore.

As she stepped into the apartment, she was vaguely aware of the meat and vegetables sitting out on the kitchen counter, but much more important was the mop of blonde hair and the strong back poking out from behind the couch. At the sound of the door closing, Adrien looked behind him with an expression that started off curious before lighting up with a bright smile.

“Bugaboo! Amazing timing as usual, I was just about to get up and-” He was cut off as she plopped onto the couch, resting her head on his lap as she curled up into a more comfortable position, “-and make dinner, but I guess we can sit here for a little while.” Picking up the remote, he turned down the volume of the show on the television. “Wanna talk about it?”

She groaned and reached out her hand, groping around until she found his. Dragging her prize, she dropped his hand onto the back of her head.

Adrien laughed, a sound that was already soothing her aching muscles. His hands began playing with her hair and she sighed in satisfaction. “Poor tired bug. I can’t imagine just sewing and studying all day make you this tuckered out. Did you go to the gym after classes too? I keep telling you that you have to start smaller.”

Marinette was too tired to contribute much to the conversation, but just having him there, listening to him, feeling his touch on her, was doing wonders for her. It was just as heavy a burden she was carrying as last semester. But with him here? It felt so much lighter. She didn’t feel as though she were falling apart at the seams any more.

----------------

Adrien turned off the television and ran his fingers through his hair. His shift at the bakery had ended hours ago, leaving him waiting for Marinette to get back from school. The grumbling of his stomach got louder as he glanced back at the untouched selection of ingredients he’d assembled on the kitchen counter. He didn’t really want to start cooking until she got back.

After all, the time she got home each day was pretty arbitrary. Weeks into the semester and he still struggled to keep track of all her commitments, between student organizations, classes, study groups, and extra design work time. Yet another skill his coddled early years had deprived him of.

He sighed and opened the door to their balcony. The chill of winter was receding fast and the late March night was surprisingly warm. Leaning against the railing, he took a deep breath of the fresh air and stared out into the glimmering lights of the Parisian night.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Adrien jolted, but quickly relaxed when Ladybug landed beside him. His sly smirk was undercut by the soft blush he could already feel spreading across his cheeks. “Yes, you are.” He took her hand and kissed it. “I didn’t know the great hero Ladybug made house calls?”

“She’s been known to make an exception for her favorite civilians.” She smiled teasingly as she closed the distance between them, their faces centimeters apart. “Or at least, the particularly handsome ones.”

“Don’t let Chat Noir hear that,” he whispered into her ear. “I hear he’s the jealous type.” His arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against him.

“Somehow, I don’t think he’ll mind what I’ve got planned for you tonight,” she said, pressing a chaste kiss against his lips.

“And what do you have planned, hm?”

“You’re about to find out.” Suddenly, she had one arm wrapped around him and with the other pulled out her yo-yo. Before he knew it, he was sailing over Paris and latching onto her. Despite the speed and the heights, he wasn’t afraid. Not just because he’d done this plenty of times as Chat before, but because he had absolute faith in her. She would never let him down - literally, in this case.

Before long, they had landed on the rooftop of a building that stood a story taller than the ones around it. Still holding onto his tiny, superpowered girlfriend, he looked around. His eyes widened when he saw the candlelit dinner with boxed chinese food, a single rose in a vase completing the scene.

His heart melted, but a thought caused him to fall into a giggle fit.

“What’s so funny, oh handsome civilian who is on the fast track to the couch tonight?”

He bit down on his lower lip and looked at her with eyes that glimmered with mirth. “I was just thinking… if I told fourteen year old Adrien that this was happening - that Ladybug made a romantic dinner just for us - I know that either his heart would explode from happiness or he just wouldn’t believe me.”

The annoyance in her eyes melted away, replaced with gentle love. She rocked forward on her toes to press a kiss against his cheek.

“Better believe it, sunshine. You aren’t the only one that knows their way around romance. And I’m definitely not going anywhere.”

He took her hand and held it between his. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her, but he just couldn’t find the words. Instead, he simply whispered, “I know.”

She seemed to understand as she slowly walked away and towards the dinner she had set. She pulled out his seat for him. Laughing, he sat down.

“Such a gentleman!”

She rolled her eyes with a smile and took the seat opposite him. They chatted while they ate, filling each other in on what they’d been doing that day. The food was wonderful and even if he hadn’t seen the logo on the boxes, he would have known it just from the taste. The Chinese restaurant was a favorite of theirs when they went on casual dates. Marinette’s mom was friends with the owners, and they’d all gone as a family plenty of times during the years he’d dated Marinette.

Adrien trailed off in the middle of explaining one customer’s particularly strange order when he heard music filtering up from the building below them. He glanced back at Ladybug, who was smugly watching him.

“...Are we above a symphony’s practice studio?”

“Mhm,” she hummed in confirmation.

Deciding she was being far too smug for her own good, he stood up, offering her his hand as he rose from a bow. “Would you do me the honor of a dance, my lady?”

Her pupils shrunk to pinpricks and she flailed her arms around her face. “Adrien, you know I can’t-”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. His other hand found its familiar spot on her lower back as he held her close to himself. He smiled down at her as she looked up at him, stunned for a moment. He decided in that moment, as he had many times before, that love was a good look on her.

As they settled into their dance, Adrien nuzzled against the top of her head as they twirled in gentle circles across the rooftop. He breathed deep, letting her scent - strawberries and cookies and a hundred other sweet things - fill him and bring peace to his weary spirit.

-----------------

Adrien finished his story and took a sip of his coffee, made exactly how he liked it. The cafe they’d chosen was quickly becoming a favorite and not only because it was right between their current living spaces.

Nino chuckled and shook his head. “Geez, dude. You two are made for each other, no doubt about it.”

“Jealous of our romance, bro?”

“Not a chance. Me and Alya are doing just fine with our chill love. But you two? With your over the top declarations of love? You two got each other to save everyone else from the sickeningly sick vibes and plots.”

“Hm…” Adrien put his chin in his hand, propped up on the table. Tapping his cheek he gave it some thought before nodding. “Definitely jealous then.” Nino scoffed. “Hey, you should have said something sooner! I’m sure Marinette wouldn’t mind if I brought you up to a rooftop for a candlelit dinner. Just so you could see what it’s like.”

Nino covered his face in his hands, but couldn’t hide the laughter bubbling out of him. “Yeah sure, dude. I’m just saying - you two tend to go crazy with romance, so it works out nice that you ended up with each other.”

“It’s way better than nice, man.” Adrien smiled with what he knew was a dopey grin - knew, but didn’t care. “Being with her - living with her - is a dream come true.”

“I figured it would be. I’m psyched for you guys - both of you are loads better when you’re not by yourselves, so it makes a ton of sense for you to move in.”

“What about you and Alya?”

Nino laughed. “After years of being stuck in crowded apartments with tons of siblings, we’re actually enjoying the space apart. But,” he said, grinning at his coffee, “after seeing what you and M have, I’m starting to like the idea more and more.” He made a dismissive gesture and leaned back in his chair, one arm over the back. “But that’s a while down the road. We’re supes happy with our set up right now.”

“I’m happy for you, man,” Adrien said softly. He took another long sip of drink, letting his mind wander. “Things are looking up, aren’t they?”

“They sure are, my bro.” Nino raised his coffee toward Adrien and they clinked their cups in a toast. “They sure are.” Nino took a quick gulp and leaned forward. “What else has been going down? I bet you’ve got a lotta sappy stories now that you two are together every day, so spill.”

They talked for another hour, exchanging stories about their girlfriends, about working with Jagged Stone, about the crazy customers the bakery had seen. He was glad they had managed to sneak in this time to hang out together, despite how busy both of them were. Adrien would always treasure Nino’s friendship, the first real friend he had made at school - his first, and his best.

----------------

Marinette stretched, reaching her hands far above her head as she worked out the aches from sitting still for so long. The dress in front of her was almost finished, but she needed to take a break before she could continue. If Adrien weren’t working at the bakery for the weekend, he’d have approved.

Her stretch brought her to her feet and then her toes, which then turned into wiggling her hips vaguely in time with the music that was filling the apartment. It felt liberating, dancing in her spotted pajamas in an old black t-shirt she’d stolen from Adrien years ago, hair hanging free. She was making great progress with that commission and she knew it. The dress could wait a few minutes while she had a little fun.

Sure, it was already the middle of April and the spring show was getting closer, but even that didn’t bother her. Speaking of, she was supposed to get a letter soon concerning how many front row tickets she’d be reserving for friends and family. After giving it a moment’s consideration, she opted to just head down to the mail room as she was. Who cares if someone saw her in her pajamas?

The song stayed in her head and she hummed along to it as she quickly went down the stairs. She grabbed the mail and started leafing through it as she returned the way she came. Her eyes widened just as she reached the door, hand hesitating at the door knob when she recognized the writing on one of the letters.

The surprise evaporated under a withering tide of anger. She knew what she’d read if she opened the letter - excuses, protests, and blame directed at Adrien. Of all the limited talents that Gabriel possesed, self-reflection was not among them.

She shoved it roughly in the basket with the rest of his letters, only barely resisting tossing it in the trash. As she changed her playlist to something a little more energetic to help her blow off steam, she decided that Adrien didn’t need to know he had gotten any mail at all today.

And everyone would be happier for it.

[yastaghr]

BTSB 15

New chapter of Broken Things Shine Brighter! You can find it on Ao3 here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431909/chapters/51072202

Or below the cut!

Blue shuffled back into the living room with his glass of water. Somehow he wasn’t surprised to see Papyrus perched on the arm of the couch, notebook in hand. It was a bit odd to see him in that position with his knees in his armpits and his socked feet gripping the worn floral print. He looked a bit like a plucked chicken. The pale pink pajamas weren’t helping.

“what- what’re you doing? that can’t be comfortable. why don’t you just sit on the couch like a normal monster?”

Papyrus looked up from his manic scribbling and smiled wanly. “nothing wrong with a little perching. besides, it’s your couch now. wouldn’t be nice to get my feet juices all over the place where you sleep.”

Blue chuckled. “dude, i’ve slept in way worse than foot juices. back when me and pap were on our own, we slept in the dump’s water and the city sewers. foot juices have nothing on that.”

“so you were abandoned, too?” Papyrus said bitterly, “i thought your world was supposed to be all sunshine and roses.”

Blue scrunched up his face in thought. Trying to remember something so far back was hard. “i think...i think we ran away.  i can, uh, remember some pretty bad things about the people we lived with. stuff like withholding food for bad grades and waking us up with cold water. blows, too. i don’t think they ever hurt pap, but...they’re the reason my tail is so crooked.”

Papyrus practically purred. “so that was a tail. hard to tell under the bindings. sans and i have ones, too.” He slipped a long, whiplike tail out of his pants. It wagged slowly, but there were little sparkles coming off the end of it. “why don’t you just leave yours out?”

Blue winced. “dude, my tail is embarrassing. it twitches and jerks. it’s zig-zaggy. anytime it catches on anything it hurts like hell. it’s way too sensitive.”

“we’ve got ointments for that. sans needs them for his cracks, and muffet has them on her feet all the time. we can soak the stuff, too. please? our tails are a part of our monster heritage that annoys the hell out of the queen. we have to show them off.”

“really?” Blue was confused, “you want me to do something just to piss off a member of the royal family that can kill me on a whim?”

“no, duh,” Papyrus’ voice was wicked. “it’s not like you’re ever going to meet her. she never leaves her fucking palace. you’ll be safe. just rebel with me a little?”

Blue hesitated. Papyrus seemed really excited about this...and if it wouldn’t hurt, was it really all that bad? “okay. go get these ointments; i’ll unbind it.”

Papyrus pumped his fist. “yes!

----

Sans gulped as he stood outside the doors to the Queen’s throne room. He was the only person she ever let get this close. It was a huge burden, being her only contact with the outside world. He sometimes wished she would just die and free him from this contract. But no. That just wasn’t meant to be.

For all that he joked about her, Sans was terrified of their mad queen. He never felt safe around her, and some of the stuff she make him do...hurt. But he would die before he told the others. Literally. It was written into his bloody contract that if he told before the contract ended then his life was forfeit. He couldn’t bear to leave Papyrus alone. Not when the Queen had already shown him the unsigned contract bearing his brother’s name. No, better to pretend everything was fine and soldier on through. That was what he wanted to be, right? A soldier? Or was it? It didn’t really matter. It was what he had to be.

Sans steeled himself and shouldered open the heavy door. Purple light spilled out on him. It came from the reflected glare off of hundreds of dolls that filled the room. Lik always, their eyes seemed to focus on him. He knew better. There was only one of these dolls that could actually see him, and it avoided this room like the plague. No, these dolls weren’t sentient. They were just creepy as hell.

“Ah, Sans, there you are. I had thought our meeting was for 4 o’clock, not 3?”

Sans put on his slickest smile and turned to face her. She towered over him at 9’7”. Most of that was leg; she was easily 2/3 leg, and on top of that she wore heels. Sans couldn’t see why. At least, not in here. They only made her look untethered. They were always too small, too, so that the sides of her feet spilled out the top. Maybe they had once been the right size, but no longer. He wondered why she didn’t buy new ones. She could certainly afford it.

In addition to the heels, today Queenie was wearing a floral sundress with a mermaid skirt and cap sleeves. It was one of his favorites for the simple reason that it bound her legs tightly and made it hard for her to move fast. It usually meant he could get away from her if she was in a more...amorous mood. For that he was grateful.

“OH, BUT I THOUGHT FOR CERTAIN THAT YOU WOULD BE OVERJOYED TO SEE ME,” He said with a smirk. Besides, if he had waited until the appointed time she would have gotten impatient and mad a half hour beforehand and that never went well.

She smiled fleetingly at him in her version of a coquettish smile. “Oh, you. My whole day doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

He waved that away. “I KNOW THAT. BUT IF I CAN BRIGHTEN IT AT ALL IT IS MY DUTY TO DO SO.”

“Speaking of brightening my day,” She batted her eyelashes at him, “would you be so kind as to indulge an old lady with a story?”

Sans nodded. “WHAT SHALL IT BE ABOUT, MY QUEEN? A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR? A SORDID ROMANCE? A DRAGON AND IT’S HOARD?”

She giggled. “Nothing so fancy. I merely wish to know about your houseguest. He has caused quite the stir. I was under the impression that you and your brother were the only skeletons left.”

Sans quickly hid his nerves. He didn’t like that she was asking about Blue, but he really had no reason to be worried. Right? Right? “AH. I SEE. WELL, THERE IS NOT MUCH TO TELL. WE FOUND HIM INJURED QUITE BADLY. HIS STORY SEEMS,” Sans gulped, “UNBELIEVABLE. WE NURSED HIM BACK TO HEALTH AND HE IS REPAYING US BY WORKING WITH MUFFET ON YOUR DRESS.”

Her face sharpened. Sans clenched his fist. Damn. She’d caught on to him hiding things. “Now, I know you wouldn’t dream of lying to me, my counselor. Your contract binds you not to do so. So tell me more about this guest. Where did he come from? Why are you taking an interest in him? What is his name?”

Sans fought to keep every word he said inside his mouth, but it was in vain. “WE FOUND HIM IN THE BASEMENT. HE IS A SKELETON AND, AS YOU SAID, WE THOUGHT WE WERE THE ONLY ONES. HE’S CHOSEN TO CALL HIMSELF BLUE.”

Queenie scowled. “How dare you try to defy me! I can see the bitterness in your eyes. Have you forgotten your place, counselor? Or do I have to carve it into your bones again?”

Something inside Sans snapped. He snarled, “I REFUSE TO GIVE HIM OVER TO YOU, MY- NO. I DEFY YOU. DO WHAT YOU LIKE, I WILL NOT BEND.”

Magic the color of a sickly rose wrapped him in chains of fire. He felt the heat warping his bones through his fireproof clothing. He did not sway from his spot. All of his bottled up hatred was in his eye sockets.

She laughed an unhinged laugh as she slunk over to him, tilting his head up with one clawed hand. “I shall enjoy breaking you to the bit again. It has been some time since my torture chamber has seen use. You will regret defying me, counselor. I hope the fleeting adrenaline is worth the pain.”

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 54. Scotland

“Sing me a song of a lass that is gone

Say, could that lass be Chelsay?

Merry of soul she sailed on a day

Over the sea to Skye”

Those lyrics are from an 1870s song about Scotland’s Prince Charlie fleeing from the British after his failed Jacobite rebellion. ...They’re also from the Outlander theme song, but just ignore that.  

I’m using them because the lyrics are a perfect introduction to Chelsay and I’s Scotland escape following lockdown.

I wrote about the lockdown in the last post, but the past five months have been… uncomfortable. Chelsay and I made it through relatively easily, but months of stay-at-home orders, minimal social activity, and the daily onslaught of terrible news take their toll.

Chelsay and I also hadn’t taken a single day off since we started in London six months ago. Without the chance to travel, we didn’t want to waste our vacation days sitting at home. All of this culminated in a pent-up desire for adventure. To get away from the house, the city, and the news.

Flights and international travel aren’t quite safe yet, but luckily we have Chelsay’s favorite travel destination in our own backyard: Scotland.

One of the only small benefits of lockdown has been the extra time to plan trips. I mentioned in the last post that I booked fully cancelable trips throughout the year, preparing for whenever lockdown measures eased. I knew the Puglia and Lakes District trips in April and May had little chance, but a road trip to Scotland in July MIGHT be possible. I scoured the news throughout lockdown, interpreting every story in the context of possible travel: “Did you see France is opening up in May - good sign. And the UK said they might open restaurants in June...”

Chelsay quickly got tired of my over-analysis, but finally, in June, the Scottish government announced they’d reopen for tourists on July 15. I’d booked the trip back in April, but nailed the start date: July 17. Nostra(vel)damus.

With a flood of confidence and excitement, I used our remaining lockdown time to smooth any potential hurdles throughout the trip. Downloading offline maps, saving every possible location we’d visit, researching the best trails and how to avoid crowds - even trawling Google Street View to find where to park (difficult given how rural Scotland is).

We left a bit later on Friday afternoon than planned, so our six hour Day 1 drive had us crossing the Scottish border around 11 pm. That said, Chelsay downloaded some excellent podcasts to pass the time: Dolly Parton’s America and Serial Season 3.

Day 2 is when the trip really began. And within 5 minutes of arriving at our first destination, Glencoe, the dream of our Scottish escape became reality.

We’d visited Glencoe on our 2016 road trip through Scotland, but I planned the 2020 visit slightly differently. Namely, I accommodated a dog. I found a quieter trail far from the road, but still providing dramatic views of the undulating valley.

Maybe it was freedom from the previous day’s drive, but Indy seemed entirely in his element. He was darting off path, investigating small waterfalls along the trail, and thoroughly enjoying every bit of his border collie homeland.

Chelsay and I were swept up in the setting too. This wasn’t stuffy London – it was nature… Raw nature… Raw nature happening all at once: wind, clouds, sun, and rain all within 10 minutes. These are the elements in Scotland, but it didn’t bother us at all. In fact, it was invigorating. After months of being cooped-up at home, we felt so much freedom just steps into our first walk.

I was also overwhelmed by another emotion: adventure. It’d been so long that I hardly recognized the feeling. You start the day in one place – at home, in your routine.  Then, suddenly, you step out of the car, train, or plane, and you’re transported to a different planet. What happened to your routine? Work, cooking, doing the dishes… all gone. Your attention is completely captured by what’s in front of you: colourful Italian villas, wild Australian outback, open Indian Ocean. Glencoe may only be a few hundred miles from London, but this adventurous feeling took Chelsay & I worlds away.

Now, when I say Scotland took us worlds away, I could have been more precise: it took us specifically to the Wizarding world (of Harry Potter).

This was especially true when visiting Glenfinnan Viaduct. Here, the Jacobite steam train passes through a scenic valley along a viaduct twice a day… But the picturesque backdrop isn’t what makes this experience so popular. It’s the fact that the train & viaduct are portrayed as the Hogwarts Express in Harry Potter. As steam billowed into the air and the locomotive let out a whistle, Chelsay jumped around and triumphantly pumped her fist. Indy had the opposite reaction, running away from the booming train as it chugged by.

After a quick stop at fairy-tale castle Eilean Donan, Chelsay and I wrapped up our long journey from London, finally arriving in Balmaqueen on the northern tip of Skye. This trip was really to celebrate Chelsay’s 30th birthday, so I splurged a bit on a holiday cottage. Immediately upon our arrival, Chelsay and I wished we could move here permanently.

First, the cottage was completely renovated – it’s rare for a place this remote to offer Nespresso, Netflix, and digitally-controlled shower, but the owners had thoughtfully accommodated every modern comfort.  Second, and far more significant, the cottage maximized its stunning scenery. Two reclining chairs faced out through the cottage’s wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling windows. Some of my best memories from this trip are the quiet mornings Chelsay and I spent in these recliners, sipping coffee while staring out at peaceful pastures and the surrounding North Atlantic sea.

We spent the next three days exploring Skye’s wild landscapes. We’d visited Skye in our 2016 Scotland roadtrip, but despite being a relatively small island (two hours from end-to-end), the 2020 itinerary was almost entirely unique. Chelsay & I only repeated one experience from the previous trip: the Quiraing, our favorite hike in the entire world.  

Minutes into the hike, we were reminded of the Quiraing’s desolate beauty. My description from the last Scotland trip is still spot-on:  

“I’ve never seen solid land twist and turn in this way – the blending brown and olive hues, the fact that there were no trees, and the smooth bending earth made land look like waves.

For some reason, there’s something about this desolate sight that I love: just us, empty space, and open sky (Skye, pun?). There are no city sounds or buildings or buses or people, and there are no boundaries. Just boundless expanse.”

Despite repeating many of the same views, this experience was still unique for two reasons:

First, Indy introduced a new dangerous element. In London, we worry about him invading an unsuspecting picnic. At the Quiraing, a wrong turn could lead him off a cliff. He earned our trust by staying nearby for the first 15 minutes, and we figured border collies are smart enough to safely stay on-trail. We let him off-leash and immediately regretted it – he’s an idiot. He started bounding around the bouncy moss and, next thing we knew, he’d jumped off a 12 foot crag. OMG – is he dead!? I was taking a picture at the time so you can see how big of a vertical drop it was... Thank god he popped up like nothing happened! The only reason he didn’t break both legs was because he awkwardly landed on his face and chest. Needless to say, he was back on leash until the path became safer.  

The other difference from our previous visit was the weather. In 2016, Chelsay & I had to have visited on the hottest day in Scottish history (consequently, we packed extra water this time). In 2020, the weather was back to its normal, turbulent self. The hike started with patches of blue sky – Chelsay and I actually took our jackets off during a quick lunch. It was perfectly pleasant, until Chelsay quietly mumbled “Uh oh” under her breath. I turned around to see billows of rain tumbling over a cliff face about half a mile away. An entire ocean of rain. It looked like the dead invading Hard Home in Game of Thrones.

You could tell it was moving fast so as you read, keep in mind, the following sequence of events happened in under 20 seconds. First, I yelled “Initiate protocol!” (as if Chelsay & I had trained for this) and we hastily packed everything, especially hiding our electronics. Chelsay crouched behind a hill to brace from the wind & rain, and god bless him, Indy INSTINCTIVELY darted underneath her! I’ll never forget his terrified little body sprinting over and literally diving into the hillside. He’d seen exactly what I’d seen (the Army of the Dead) and wanted no part of it. The dowsing ambush only lasted 10 minutes, and thanks to our waterproof gear, we survived... though I’ll never forget Indy’s panicked reaction.

There was actually a second memorable weather-induced experience this trip. Although the storm had passed, heavy clouds remained and completely enveloped the peak. The fog line was very unusual though: there was a distinct line between dense fog and unspoilt views, which gave us two entirely unique feelings. At the top, the brooding clouds felt ethereal and mysterious. We couldn’t see more than 50 yards. Meanwhile, the descent ensured we wouldn’t be robbed of the spectacular setting, providing pristine views of the sweeping landscape.

Similar to our 2016 trip to Skye, the Quiraing was the highlight of our time on the island. That isn’t a surprise: as I said earlier, it’s our favorite hike in the world. That said, our other adventures on Skye were similarly invigorating.  

After the Quiraing, we made a brief some at Neist Point, where a lonely lighthouse sits at the edge of a craggily outcrop. Chelsay, Indy, and I looked on as the North Atlantic waves crashed below, seagulls squawking as they swooped toward the water. What makes Neist Point especially unique is its undulating shape: similar to my quote from the Quiraing, I didn’t know solid land could twist & turn this way.  

The next day, we’d embark on our longest hike of the week: Camasunary Bay, a secluded cove only accessible by foot or boat. This hike doesn’t really have a peak, but rather a long journey through open farmland, leading to a secret beach at the base of the Black Cuillin Mountains.

Along the way, Indy met a fellow border collie named Clyde. I’ll first say that it was extremely rare to bump into people in Scotland (which I loved), but when we did, they often had border collies (which I also loved). Indy had only met one other border collie while in London… and its name is ironically Skye! He met at least 10 in just four days on the island.

Anyway, Indy and Clyde played around in an open heath overlooking the quiet bay. Indy again jumped off a ledge from way too high, this time falling into a bush… He really is an idiot, but again managed to avoid injury.

We completed the long walk without further issue, though Chelsay and I were exhausted by the end. After the Quiraing and Camasunary Bay on back-to-back days, we could hardly feel our legs. Our massive Amatriciana dinner that night revived us, and was hands down the best meal all trip.

We moved very slowly the next day – I’d say we didn’t want to overwork Indy’s juvenile joints, but really our >30-year-old knees couldn’t take anymore. We managed one shorter walk: Old Man of Storr. This is actually the most famous attraction on Skye, but Chelsay and I had previously avoided it due to its popularity. Thanks to Covid though, the crowds were scarce, and we pretty much had the trail to ourselves.

The next day, we departed Skye for Scotland’s far north, Assynt, which is somehow more topographically extreme than Skye.  This terrain pushes most Assynt hikes out of Indy’s (our knees’) range, though there was one feasible option: Stac Pollaidh. “Stac Polly” is just a four-mile hike, but its 1,700 foot elevation provides both a healthy challenge and a view that ‘punches above its weight.’

This view is hidden throughout the ascent, but once you reach the top, the scenery is stunning. It’s like nowhere Chelsay and I have been – like a Scottish Monument Valley: lonely monoliths looming over a basin of stony cnocs and boggy lochs. The setting beneath us had the topographical diversity of an entire continent!

We were due to stay in Assynt for a few days, but decided to make a rare mid-trip audible for two reasons:

Our entire Assynt itinerary was hikes, and we were exhausted. It was time to rest.

Our AirBnb was haunted.

In our 50+ trips while abroad, we hardly ever make such drastic mid-trip changes, but we’ve gotten to the age where we want a little relaxation in our vacation… free from ghosts. Thanks to my Booking.com status (and the Covid-induced absence of travel demand), we found a shockingly affordable alternative:  Thainstone House, a country mansion in Aberdeenshire.

Aberdeenshire is in Scotland northeast, just above Inverness. Its known for its pastural setting (and steak), but also its salty sea coastline. It’s a few hours away from Assynt, yet our couple stops en route proved our audible was the right call.

First, we stopped in the small fishing village of Lossiemouth. I don’t remember anything about the town… We were really just visiting for the four-mile long beach, accessible by crossing a short bridge over the surrounding canal.

Well, the bridge was closed, but the canal’s water levels seemed low enough. After getting drenched at the Quiraing, crossing this dry creek wouldn’t be an issue.  

Wrong. The next hour was eventful, so I’ll break it down in bullet form:

First, the creek was slightly deeper in certain places, but Chelsay remained dry in her tall rainboots. My duck boots were too short, so our solution was that I’d jump on Chelsay’s back, and she’d carry me through this short stretch…

This plan lasted two small steps before she dropped me in the river. My feet were soaked, but no worry. We had all our clothes in the car, so I’d just change when we get back.

We arrived at the beach, an immaculate stretch of empty sand and surf. Apparently, no one else ‘braved’ the canal, because Chelsay, Indy, and I had the beach to ourselves. Well, except the dolphins and seals we saw along the shore! The entire setting was gorgeous: wind-swept grass, endless sandy expanse, and clear waters quietly crashing along the shore.

After thoroughly tuckering Indy out, we decided to head back to the car. One problem, the tide had changed, and the dry creek was now a FLOWING RIVER! WHAT!? We hadn’t even considered the tide when we ventured out… It was too shallow to even think about!

…The emptiness of the beach now made a lot more sense.

Already wet (from being dropped earlier), we decided the only way back was through. The below video is from the SAFER portion of our fording experience. Imagine the scene on the deeper side: Chelsay and I. Waist deep in the river. Fully submerged in shame.

This story may sound familiar… In fact, it’s happened to us before. In Scotland. It was Loch Coruisk, and Chelsay & I were forced to ford a river to catch a once-a-day ferry. What is it about us and Scottish rivers…

Back on dry land, Chelsay and I continued our Aberdeenshire tour through three more small towns: Fordyce, a 13th century hamlet where we stopped at the town’s Old Kirk (church) for lunch; followed by Crovie and Pennan, two salty fishing villages with single-row housing along the seafront.  …After the river ordeal earlier, we didn’t stick around to see what high tide was like.

We pulled into Thainstone House around 4 pm on Thursday, and the car didn’t move until Saturday around 10 am. That kind of dormancy is RARE for Chelsay & I. The only other vacation where we didn’t leave our accommodation for 36 straight hours was Fiji… where the entire island was our accommodation.

The grounds of Thainstone served as an ‘island’ of sorts for Chelsay & I. There was no reason to leave because the manor met every need: elegant dining, dog-friendly trails, cozy rooms, soothing lounges, and plenty of wine & scotch to occupy our leisure time. Chelsay thinks the staff even tailored to our Americanness: they kept playing Chris Stapleton whenever we were in a room alone.

We were sad to leave on Saturday. Not only had we appreciated the slower pace, but we also knew the next two days required driving 11 hours on our way back to London. That said, we had a few noteworthy stops.

First, a brief visit to Castle Fraser, where we stopped for coffee, scones, and walk. This short break was a reminder of the perks of living in Europe: even road trip stopovers included a fairy-tale castle.

We also stopped in St. Andrews, a small, charming college town north of Edinburgh. Over the next few hours, we walked the campus grounds (regarded as one of the best universities in the world and alma mater to Prince William, the future King); took in St. Andrews cathedral (built in the 12th century); and walked the St. Andrews golf grounds (known as ‘home of golf’ and site of the first round in the 15th century). Indy wasn’t impressed – he pooped on the Old Course.

And that was it. That was our trip. We just had one overnight stop in Peebles, Scotland before arriving back home in London…

Well, except… This stop turned out to be the highlight of our entire trip. I’ve genuinely rushed through the last 3,000 words to finally get to this part.

Chelsay & I had an entire castle to ourselves!  

Backing up: I’d initially reserved different accommodation in Peebles, but the owner had accidently double booked. They were very apologetic, and offered an alternative: the ‘Queen Mary suite’ in Neidpath Castle.

I had no idea what she was talking about… I checked the website: a 13th century castle that has hosted Mary, Queen of Scots, her son King James, and poet William Wordsworth. …Yeah, I’ll take the castle!  

Despite this anticipation, our stay still exceeded my expectations. When booking, I thought we’d only be staying in the ‘Queen Mary suite’: a bedroom with accompanying lounge. There were probably other guest rooms though, right?  

Wrong. We pulled up, the owner gave us the keys to the entire castle, and wished us a great stay.

We immediately began running up and down spiral staircases, through corridors, past dungeons, into dining halls, and around the castle’s chapel. We were like little kids. The only other time our hotel had elicited this reaction was in the Maldives (and two days earlier at the country manor… and four days before that at the Skye cottage…).

The castle is so large that we actually lost one another multiple times. One time, Chelsay & I were together but had no idea where Indy had gone… I whistled, but we didn’t hear anything. No movement. We started to worry that maybe he’d gotten hurt or stuck somewhere. We whistled again, but still nothing.  

Suddenly, a *scraaaaaaaaatttcch* came from behind a door.

Chelsay yelped, assuming it was a ghost. Maybe the same one from that Airbnb in Assynt.

We carefully opened the door *creeeeeek*, only to find Indy staring up at us with his mouth wide open. He was having just as much fun exploring the castle.

It had to have been at least two hours before we finally settled down, cozying next to the fire with a bottle of wine. We reminisced on what a spectacular trip it had been, scrolling through the photos to remind ourselves of all the jaw-dropping landscapes we’d visited.

We couldn’t believe some of the scenery… We had just visited these places… We were in the pictures… Yet the settings didn’t seem real.  Glencoe, Skye, that train Chelsay loved, Stac Polly, the river in Lossiemouth…

Scotland’s rugged beauty seems unbelievable in normal circumstances, but the past week felt like even more of a dream given the preceding months. After nearly half a year in lockdown, our Scottish escape was a reminder of how effortlessly adventure awaits while abroad.  

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 96 Poll Results

The chapter 96 poll closed with 1,469 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating. Let’s do this!

RATE THE CHAPTER (1,402 Responses)

There was an increase of strong NOPES with 6.5% rating this chapter a 1 verses .07% for chapter 95,  but otherwise like last month, the majority gave the chapter a favorable rating.

With every chapter focusing on the Warriors, they steadily climb the list of some of the greatest characters I've ever had the pleasure of reading about. I love everyone in this manga, but the complexity, moral ambiguity, and tragedy of these three just continues to astound me. No matter how this manga concludes and no matter how imperfect AoT is as a whole, I applaud Isayama for writing some of the best antagonists I've ever seen.

Warriors background and sob story is always good to see. However, I do want a bit more progress in the story. I can wait a bit longer to see Paradis cast.

96 is probably the highlight of Marley focus so far, and is a well deserved title. It honestly never crossed my mind for some reason that we would see the opposite side of the attack on Paradis, and it did surprise me with how much of a rush and danger it was for RBA.

I liked the other chapters better since they weren't all about flashbacks; they had a nice mix between current and previous events

I don't really like the Marley chapters but this chapter has been amazing. Best chapter of this arc so far.

It has a huge emotional content but I feel like it had less substance than previous chapter. The insight on Annie is interesting though.

i think seeing the fall of wall maria from RBA's perspective was a very good (and heartbreaking) decision for yams to make, and a good way to segway into finally revealing what the SC are up to hopefully lol

It seems like Isayama has a thing for writing heartbreaking and sad chapters in August *sides eyeing to chapter 84* and btw, I'm still not over serumbowl. I don't even think I'llbe over that someday ;;-;;

It was really insightful to see more of RAB and actually see R&B relationship with Annie (I honestly thought Annie hated them and vice versa). We didn't see 3 monsters but 3 little kids, traumatized and forced to shed innocent blood

fuck this chapter, i dont even mind the marley chapters but this literally told us nothing interesting aside from royalty not being subjects of ymir

WHICH BEST DESCRIBES YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEEING THE FALL OF WALL MARIA FROM THE WARRIOR PERSPECTIVE (1,425 Responses)

Some mixed reaction here. A slight majority (45%) loved it while 25% didn’t care or didn’t like the timing of it. 31.5% were lukewarm about the retelling of the fall of Wall Maria from the warrior perspective.

I suppose if we were going to answer various loose plot points, we might as well get them all out in a single chapter.

I think Isayama's starting to push it with the flashbacks. I'd be okay with like. Half the next chapter or less being flashbacks to the trainee days but I want the rest to be interesting present-day Marley content

This would all have been so much more compelling if it had been incorporated into the main narrative timeline. Yams seriously needs a better editor.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE CHAPTER? (1,343 Responses)

“So much Annie” and seeing both trios in the shelter together were the top moments. Bert making eye contact with EMA and loudly contradicting Annie about her ability to charm men followed at #3 and 4. But with a lot of options came a lot of opinions.

"I'm here to save humanity."  Like. Holy shit.

"Reiner is dead. If you want Marcel, I'll become Marcel" That was epic

One True God, Reigner, preaching His Holy Word to other Warriors. For He is the true savior of humanity

Reiner finally winning against Annie in a foot race

series was really just a bunch of scared kids making it up as they go

The little RBA group hug awww

The survivor from Wall Maria telling RBA his story. When I realized that I had heard it word for word out of Bertolt's mouth, it was very chilling. And Annie, seeing her break down at Reiner was one of the most heart-wrenching moments in the series

The two times we saw EMA

When it was revealed the Tybur family knew something about the Reiss family, that they have made a "vow renouncing war." OK, something is up with the Tybur Family, and I want to know more!

 Seeing RBA talk about their mission when the Coordinate was maybe 20 feet away from them tops was a weird mix of frustrating and hilarious.

Ma boi Bert is smooth af.

Damn, Dina really hustled to be the first Titan through the gate.

  SADDEST MOMENT FROM THE CHAPTER? (1,339 Responses)

Rather than pick a single moment, nearly 38% of us selected the whole chapter as the saddest moment. As usual, any glimpse of the 104th makes people cheer. The moment of eye contact between Bert and EMA was #2.

Annie...everything about Annie in general.

Knowing that once Reiner got back to the Marley after they failed, he did listen to Annie's words when she beat him up because he did take all the blame himself

reiner saying he wants to be a "soldier" to "save the humanity"_ the poor young man really thought he was saving the "humanity" from the monsters/devils

The panels of Bastion looking over the wall were so sad imo. Knowing RBA's story makes this iconic moment so much more tragic and powerful, but in a different way than before.

The parallel made between EMA and BRA. It's so sad to see how similar there six kids are, and how differently their lives ended up.

The saddest moment was Reiner saying he will 'become' Marcel. That was Isayama tearing my heart out of my rib cage and beating it repeatedly.

Watching three broken children commit an atrocity that they couldn't fully understand the consequences of

when it was yet another flashback

  MOST INTERESTING NEW DISCOVERY FROM THE CHAPTER? (1,326 Responses)

The majority selected how Reiner became Marcel as the most interesting discovery. Bloodline talk and and the origin of Bert’s cover story were close second and third.

All of the above

Everything.

how reigner got fukin ripped, brah

reiner is hot asf

Reiner was always ripped

the explanation for why reigner went from the weakling to a buff dude (LUMBERJACKING)

Knowing for certain that RBA and EMA were (at least for a while) in the same refugee camp. My babies <3

I dont care for the plot at this point honestly im just in it for annie i discovered i love her somehow more than i originally thought

The Tybur clan detaining the information about the vow of the King. That implies they were in contact with Kruger at some point.

DO YOU THINK RBA KILLED THE MAN FROM THE REMOTE VILLAGE? (1,347 Responses)

My poll co-creator was the one who suggested this question and once asked I couldn’t unsee it. Nearly half of respondents don’t think RBA killed that man, but clearly there’s room for doubt.

I'm torn on whether RBA killed the man from the village. The idea occurred to me when reading the chapter, and I could equally see them doing it but also not doing it. isayama why!

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE BEATDOWN THAT ANNIE BROUGHT ON REINER? (1,360 Responses)

Honestly I wasn’t expecting this to be a landslide but here it is - 82% felt that Annie was ok in her beatdown of Reiner.

YEAH ANNIE, KICK HIS ASS!!!

I want more of cruel Annie

My feelings for Reiner is kinda messed up.. Annie did beat up Reuner pretty good

i was all for reiner rescuing annie and apologizing to her but seeing what she did to him this chapter. never mind. she can go f*** herself.

  RATE EACH WARRIOR IN TERMS OF HOW THIS CHAPTER AFFECTED YOUR PERCEPTIONS OF THEM

As far as opinion changes go, 807 people view Annie more favorably after this chapter, 788 do so for Reiner, and 633 for Bert. On the other end of the spectrum, 140 view Annie less favorably. That number is 113 for Reiner, and 57 for Bert

I used to dislike Annie, but this chapter helped humanize her in my eyes.

I kind of despise reiner after this chapter, the only good thing about it was annie

Bless Annie, she not only saw through all the brain-washing that the Marley government had imposed on them all, but was oblivious to her own charms! But damn, the scene where Eren, Mikasa and Armin are reflected in the Colossal Titan's eyes? That had me in tears!

  WHICH OF THE THREE ORIGINAL WARRIORS IS YOUR FAVORITE? (1,369 Responses)

When I asked this question, I mentioned Tumblr’s outpouring of love for Annie as my reason. Now I have data to back that up. While Reiner was the combined winner, favorite character does vary by platform. On Reddit, Reiner was the clear favorite with 55% of the vote. Tumblr selected Annie with 46%. Bert is viewed far more kindly of Tumblr than Reddit. The breakdown is below:

REDDIT’S FAVORITE WARRIOR

Reiner: 55%

Annie: 31%

Bert: 15%

TUMBLR‘S FAVORITE WARRIOR

Annie: 46%

Reiner: 32%

Bert: 23%.

Reiner best character. Reiner for Straw Hat. Reiner for king of Westeros. Reiner for everything. I uh... I like Reiner.

Bertolt is such a non-entity in the flashbacks.

I can't believe I didn't appreciate Annie as much as I do now before!!! It was great to see her again and I really look forward to seeing her more hopefully

  WHICH OF THE THREE ORIGINAL WARRIORS IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE? (1,322 Responses)

No surprise here. Mah boy Bert continues to get the least love.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN IN CHAPTER 97? (1,353 Responses)

88% of people think the perspective will stay with the Warriors and a slight majority believe the flashback will continue. The 12% who think we’ll have a perspective switch are probably being optimistic.

  IF CHAPTER 97 IS SET IN PRESENT DAY MARLEY, WHAT DO YOU MOST WANT TO SEE (1,362 Responses)

The Tyber family festival and the identity of Amputee-kun are what we want next. Many people think they will happen at the same time.

The Tybur Family Festival will reveal Amputee-Kun

All of this. A dialogue-heavy chapter that takes place during the tyber family festival. Right before the end, Pieck looks at Amputee-kun in the distance and says "Yo Zeke, Reiner, ain't that Eren Yeager ?" and Zeke goes "That's exactly right".

Amputee guy goes home. It is a dark house. In the corner is armin praying to an annie shrine. Mikasa is next to him on a chair drinking tea as if nothing weird at all is happening.

I'd like to see sort of visual representation of the Warhammer titan

Levi

Main cast

Reiner visiting Bertolt's family/parents

  THE FOUNDING TITAN APPEARS TO YOU IN A DREAM AND GRANTS YOU 3 WISHES FOR THE MANGA. YOUR CHOICES? (1,401 Responses)

I hope ya’ll know I can see who voted for more than three. Shame on you! Action for Annie and Mikasa top the wish list followed by “no more time skips”. There were plenty of write in votes asking for romance and canon ships and the resurrections of Ymir, Bert and Erwin. There were some rather creative options as well.

*virtually votes for Annie getting out the damn crystal three times* WE NEED SOME ANSWERS FROM HER DAMMIT!

Armin. Man-bun. Now.

Every character getting a satisfying and conclusive ending.

Explain PATHS without magic.

Honestly I wish Zackley's "art" was never a thing

Chapter once a week

Marcel's death. Again. Again

Titan shifters not having to die after 13 years, except for gaylord, he can die for all I care.

HANJI ZOE GET A BACKSTORY

one billion dollars and a mansion to live in. PLEASE

Let's talk about East Sea Clan now

Bring Bertoto Big-Boi Bertollini back to life

better pacing

Connie with luscious curls.

MORE ZEKE!!

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? (1,420 Responses)

The number of people willing to sell their souls to see the original cast is up 10% over last month.

I understand people are frustrated because they miss the main cast, but Warriors are my favorite characters and I've wanted to see this since forever. We'll get back to the main cast eventually, just bear with it like we went along with chapters without the Warriors.

This is honestly all I've wanted to see from the beginning of the series. No matter what happens after, I'm really glad we got to see the other side of that fateful day. Also, I love how clear the parallels between the two trios were, because that's something I've found incredibly powerful in this series, but it's never really been this clear before. I find it tragically beautiful just how similar EMA and RAB are, and yet one trio has hope of a happy ending while the other's been doomed from the start.

Just when i was finally gettibg into Marley we switch to a flashback! Lol that's how it goes. It was a good chapter, finally covering something we've been going over on a fandom level since 2013. I'm glad we finally saw it. Bring back Annie 2k17!

On one hand, the Marley files is necessary, building up to the end of the series. But holy cow I miss our main crew on Paradis! Granted, the Paradis chapters have been well done, especially on expanding the Warrior's side as fellow humans trapped in some shitty circumstances.

I just want a glimpse of how the Walldians look like. Just one panel and I can rest in peace.

I've been selling my souls for the past six months to see main casts... I'm withered now.

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST (1,422 Responses)

Vets are up and the104th are down, but I suspect poll exposure is the reason for the change.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES (1,298 Responses)

Tumblr, sit down, we need to talk. I know you love your art and ships. And I do too! But can you spend three minutes taking the poll? The good folks at Reddit once again outnumber you 2-1.

Reddit: 869 (66.9%)

Tumblr: 419 (32.3%))

Discord: 84 (6.5%)

Twitter: 7 (0.5%)

  IS THERE ANYTHING FROM THE NEW GUIDEBOOK YOU FOUND PARTICULARLY INTERESTING? (1,143 Responses)

yes, seeing Armin’s parents was awesome, but my poll co-creator’s obsession with Reiner Braun is #3 and that’s all I need! That, and eruri is canon.... again  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Seeing Armin’s parents: 49.2%

Isayama’s obsession with Reiner Braun: 38.5%

Poll creators obsession with Reiner Braun: 35.1%

Reiner’s unexplained weight loss: 23.8%

4 pages of insight into Levi's thoughts: 23.4%

Eruri being canon.... again: 22.2%

Annie’s hairstyle being designed after Avril Lavigne’s: 21.3%

The Colossal Titan was designed before Bertolt: 21.3%

Reiner being described as “the perfect man”: 20.6%

Annie’s name being a joke on the word “ani,” meaning “bro”: 18.3%

Marcel and Porco aren’t twins: 16.2%

The height/weight info on the warriors and cadets: 15.7%

Reiner’s genetic predisposition to be a muscular and sexy bara: 14.4%

Birthdays for characters we didn’t know before (Finally! Moblit!): 13.6%

Reiner having David Beckham’s eyes: 11.8%

Reiner having Matt Damon’s looks from Saving Private Ryan: 10.8%

It's ok, I too am obsessed with Reiner Braun (I would marry him)

Reiner is B U L K

isayama is evil

I fucking love Reiner Braun. That's all.

reiner needs to be protected

Reiner continues to be best boy

  FINAL THOUGHTS?

This is a subset of the write in the comments we received. Thank you again for participating! See you next month!

EXTRA DANCC

This chapter was incredible and i cant wait until 97 comes out.

This chapter made me think a lot of Draco Malfoy. I mean the trio and him both were brainwashed and raised to think lies. They were just children caught up in situations they coulndt understand well. It made me feel very sad.

I wonder how the Tybur family knows about the First King's Will. Either he made the vow before traveling with the Eldians to Paradise, or the Tybur family infiltrated the Walls somehow.

Tyber family is being set up to be the "real" masterminds behind Marley's government.

Fuck you Isayama!! I hate you and I'll always will... except if you give Annie a happy ending I could rethink about it

It was really good but I would have liked just a little bit of present-day Marley as well

Again, the Tybur Family knows something about the Reiss family even though the rest of the world doesn't know what's going on within the Walled Society. Something is up with the Tybur Family, I tell you!!!

We need more Annie, Bertolt and Reiner. Also want so badly to see the main Paradis cast but enjoying so much this Marley arc so I'm very conflicted with myself on that and which side I'm now on (Warriors/Paradis)

It was lit

It was interesting to see these events unfold through the long-awaited perspective of Reiner, Bertholt and Annie. I liked how they showed those three kids having more humanity. Seeing Bertholt hesitate and Annie cry gave another dimension to their character.

I've said it before but the new shots of Bertholdt looming over the wall were so fucking incredible. When it gets animated, I hope this moment be silent, no bgm, nothing. It would make it more memorable.

The fact that this chapter is called "Door of Hope" may suggest that RBA's time having their worldview expanded will eventually lead to hope. Reiner may turn on Marley in the end, and Annie's character definitely isn't loyal to Marley. I don't think either would work for Paradis if they had a choice, but since Paradis *is* directly opposing Marley, I suspect we'll have a "enemy of my enemy is my friend" situation. For Annie at least. If Reiner switches, I think it'll be in some great final act. :'(

Im a wreck now!

As expected

Dank

I love how there are absolutely no black and white in this series

Reignar's motivation for joining the military was done really well, and I love how complicated of a situation he's been in...

I've been a fan of getting the Marley perspective and was really happy to see Annie again, but this chapter felt like it was more of everything we already knew. It didn't add emotional stakes, it didn't add to the plot, it contributed to the abysmal pacing. I realize that we can't fully judge the manga until it's complete but the fact is, this is a monthly manga, and Isayama should take that into consideration when pacing the story. Focusing entirely on a flashback this chapter felt like a really poor narrative decision, especially since while it gave us feelings it didn't add any the last chapter didn't also give us. I know Isayama is a master of the long game so maybe I'm wrong and this was an important chapter, but it certainly didn't feel like it. It feels like he's trying too hard to make us feel for the warriors, but the previous chapters already accomplished that.

I expect SC to come back in Chapter 99. With the festival upcoming, I expect two volumes of Warriors before returning to out niggas on Paradis. Also, it's Reigner, not Reiner.

This arc need to step up its pace. It's good that we had all this new info but the story is so slow!

I just want to see grown up Mikasa

Disappointing overall. Little useful new information. The part about stealing the backstory was interesting but not significant. No plot advancements, no new mysteries, no present day action, and we all guessed accurately how the wall fell from RBA's perspective. IMO a pointless chapter, and the Marley arc has dragged on for almost a year now (no problem with Marley focus, it's just been very slow). Could/should have been done differently (include Walldians learning about Marley along w/us readers, include Warriors other than Reiner)

Need less marley and warrior focus jesus fuck

Ballsy move by Isayama to continue with the Marley/Reiner stuff. It's not terrible but considering monthly release schedule it's getting tiresome and I think he's starting to lose some of the fanbase - and he'll continue to lose more with each Marley/Reiner chapter

I'm so done with Marley, wake me up when we get back to the main cast

Please just move the story forward, we don't need previous details spelled out, the audience is smart enough on their own, this all just feels like a gigantic stall.

Feels like Isayama is stalling for the big reveal of Paradis plot

RBA perspective is already overkilled its inviting irritation rather than sympathy

I feel like isayama doesn't care about the manga anymore and is just trying to wrap it up as quick as possible

ANNIE PLEASE COME BACK REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Getting weary of the flashback. I don't mind seeing the Marley side of things, but pick up the pace.

very powerful chapter. That said, I hope that for the sake of the story's pacing in general, this is the last flashback we get for a while.

AoT is the best story I've ever read. But if there are more useless Marley chapters I might even stop reading monthly. That's how exasperated I am. Fuck i really do like RBA and flashback is nice but PLEASE LET ME SEE THE WALLDIANS COME ONNNNNNNNN!!!! Its been half a year already !!! I didnt see the main characters since i caught up with the manga wtf

Cool chapter in itself, not ok with the premise

I'm pretty sure Dina said fuck Bertolt because she was going after that slut sleeping with her husband

You know, after hatin' on the Marley POV for the past few chapter I actually am starting to feel that I'm succumbing to them, slowly but surely starting to enjoy them

The RBA hug was the sweetest thing.

would be interesting to see of armin -remembers- any of this

I finally fully enjoyed reading a chapter of this Marley arc, even if it's just a flashback... but i reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaalllly wish to come back to the original cast POV. I miss them, i wanna see them, i would sell my soul to see them. Also i think Isayama made a wrong choice doing this Marley arc now, after the timeskip, if he had done this before the fandom probably wouldn't react as the way they did (missing EMA and Veterans). I mean, after the longest time skip ever, after the most loved/hated arc with huge changes to some characters, Isayama just change the view to another characters not showing us anything of what happened. Also with this guidebook we could see that things have changed with the original cast, mainly the relationships that before were strong but at this moment we don't know fully (Like i seriously saw the EMA split apart reading this guidebook, a thing that i didn't wanted to happe, but at the same time i wanted because is interesting af. Or Levi miserable after Erwin death... I feel like Isayama will continue with this flashbacks to explain something like why Annie didn't killed Armin, and their thoughts on the Walldian, but i also feel like chapter 100 will split the fandom apart (again) (i mean we probably will get the main cast in this one, i hope)

I MISS MIKASA

Great develope of the warriors trio

EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

nice info & perspective in this chapter. but felt dragged..could've been expressed in less pages tbh.

The pacing of this whole arc has been poor. These backstories would have better served the story if they had peppered the narrative a little bit at a time over the course of the whole series, not as some last second infodump.

Only thing worse than present day Marley is flashback Marley

I DON'T WANT ANOTHER FLASHBACK JUST GET ME ON PARADIS AGAIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

You have a beautiful smile, but not as beautiful as Dina's.

I need Reiner/Happiness to be canon like RIGHT NOW

wjat the fuck is dina d o i n g how did she just KNOW who carla was aksdadkjs

I wish bertholdt was not dead And that he has more development.

I never thought we'd actually get to see this part from the warrior's perspective, but I've always hoped we'd at least see it in a spin off or something, so I am pumped we actually got to see it in detail in canon

Thank god for Isayama, he's a blessed man to give us so many chapters with Warrior focus.

Man I just wish I didn't have to wait so long for each chapter, but I understand it's necessary for quality.

I wasn't really enjoying the flashbacks but I loved this one

I wish we would have had some bits from the breaching of the wall way earlier. I also wish the plot would advance a bit faster. I feel too many panels were spent on the flashback. For me the chapter was over too soon, but felt like I'd learned nothing new of importance :(

I understand the flashbacks are necessary, but I hope the story will eventually wrap those up to keep the story moving forward. Everything has been going by so slowly lately, but even so, I love this series to much to just leave, especially since we're already nearing the end. Keep it up, Isayama!

Because I see all the recent Annie content as the most obvious foreshadowing of her return to the plot, that begs a new question. In Stohess, she tried to run away, not take Eren, and just get back to her father. She crystallized with that stuff in mind, she seemed ready to abandon her mission, so when she inevitably wakes up will she still have that same mindset? I think this whole thing could set up an interesting change for her character. Whether she joins the Walldians or not, she finally gets a chance to break away from the flow and suffer or thrive based on the outcome of (probably) the only time she's allowed to choose something in her life.

Damn this is depressing as hell

Dina will never not freak me out. Also hooOOOOOO REINER'S MESSED UP HOOOOOOOO

I really do hope Isayama goes back to the paradis crew in a flashback to 4 years ago. A couple months from where chapter 90 left off & the entire volume covers 1 year of the Paradis crew in between the 4 year time skip

I feel like Isayama doesnt care much for Mikasa anymore. She has become a flat character and deserves more focus.

I didn't need an entire chapter dedicated to RBA's persepctive of the fall of wall maria to feel any more sympathy than I already do towards them.

I'm really tired of the Marley focus in the story.

Loved seeing how Annie really felt about the mission outside of the hometown and ideologies. Also heart breaking to see Reiner trying so hard to make the mission work only to end up losing the only other two who understood him best in the end.

I was hoping we would get the Tyber family's festival, and there Amputee-kun would reveal his identity. However, after seeing this chapter, I realized how important and interesting the Fall of Wall Maria is in the warriors' point of view. I'm glad we got this chapter.

1. Reiner is much more than a warrior or a replacement for Marcel. 2. Dina keeps being awesome even after her death. 3. Bertholdt already being in love with Annie is awesome. 4. We've been able to see Jean!!! 5. I don't want to say goodbye to Colt...

Isayama, give Erwin back 😌!

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

I Give Up Q&A

@daeyeonis

igu was great I cried like every chapter ok fam but- why the hot dog lmao

Im assuming this is for the Q&A since there is a question involved. Dood…why did Hot dog dress up as a hot dog for Halloween? Because chanyeol told her to go for funny over sexy. Why did i choose a hot dog costume? Its the second thing i thought of after a crunchy taco. A friend of mine owns a crunchy taco costume but we are mexican so its a familiar funny food item to us, but i was thinking about my international readers who might be more familiar with a Hot Dog, so i went with that. I literally make this stuff up…i just randomly picked something and then once drunk Yixing referred named her by her costume (was it chapter 21?), well the nickname stuck.

Anon Did anything go down between Baekhyun and Sehun on behind the scenes?

The real conflict between the two came from the bet that the EXO members made about Baekhyun and Hot Dog …they placed secret bets on the day the lovely couple would make up and get back together. Sehun had picked the night of the halloween party so he knew he had to pull out all the stops and use every trick he had up his sleeve In order to win. Sehun knew that Baek was the protective, jealous type and he used that to his advantage, getting Hot Dog good and drunk and hanging around her all night, being as flirty as he could be and making sure that Baekhyun saw all of it. When Baekhyun found out that Sehun got Hot Dog drunk on purpose and hung out with her all night within the eyeline of Baekhyun, just so that they would makeup that night and Sehun would win the bet, Baekhyun didn’t speak with Sehun for a whole week. At that point though it was kind of hard for Baek to stay mad when he and Hot Dog had made up and that happiness was so all consuming. Baek forgave Sehun after some expert whining and groveling.

Anon So…. does Junmyeon ever approve of Baek and Hot Dog’s relationship

Junmyeon approved after he met her during the dinner with Chanyeol. He found her to be intelligent and level headed and seeing the efforts she made to fight for their relationship after the breakup really made a good impression on him. He still makes sure to remind everyone of the importance of discretion and avoiding scandals, but he considers her part of the family now.

Anon Do you remember Baekhyun’s small notebook from chapter 19?? “You turned quickly and grabbed the small notebook you had resisted earlier off his nightstand and lifted it up…” Can you tell us now😅

Anon What about the notebook in chapter 19? What’s its secret? epilogue dood

Anon @ hotdog; did u get to read whatever was written on baek’s lil notebook?

the notebook will be in the epilogue.

Anon how many time passed from chapter 1 to chapter 28?

@jhopeismybutthole What amount of time did IGU take place in? Did main character hangout with other exo members after the costume party? Did baekhyun ask main characters dad for his blessing before officially proposing?

Baek and HD met in March of 2016, They celebrated their 100 day anniversary in July. Broke up around 200 days in October and got married just after their 300 day anniversary in January of 2017. :D

Things were a tiny bit awkward for HD and the other EXO members after the costume party. That was the night Baek and HD officially made up and Chanyeol, among other members heard them make up. It took a good couple of days before she could even look Chanyeol in the eye after that, but they all assured her that it was nothing that hadnt happened in the dorms before. Sehun was just happy to have won the bet. Kyungsoo was hoping Hot Dog and Baekhyun would work out because Baekhyun was far less annoying when he was in a relationship than when he was single, and Jongin always made it a point to strike up conversations with her when she was around. Just because they made up didn’t mean it was time for HD to neglect her super affectionate, rather needy boyfriend, and she continued to spend as much time with him during his off time as possible.

Baekhyun didn’t ask her father for permission to marry her. His reasoning was, they were already married, and it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. What’s done was done and he figured they were both about to be in a shit load of trouble anway, they might as well just go all the way.

Anon From where do you get ideas for the upcoming chapters?? I mean what you done with BHXHD in IGU I apparently wanted to know FROM WHERE you get the ideas btw I love you dood

From wheeeeeere? From my brain dood. I tend to pull from the living world around me. I’m always paying attention to things and people, plus i also have a degree in psychology so i have a pretty good understanding of human behavior. I read a lot so i understand how stories are structured and i write the kinds of things that i would enjoy reading myself, so usually these things translate well into my stories. I also listen to lots of music and find inspiration in nearly everything i watch and hear.

One of my most helpful brainstorming methods is talking the plot out with a friend. I have two people that i like to discuss the stories with and usually this helps me think of things, or ideas for things that i hadn’t considered before. :D

Anon Q&A IGU: Did you have the ending planned from the onset?

Nooo, i never know where im going with these stories when i first start them. Ill usually have a general flow of where i want to go, but its so vague that it usually gets modified along the way. Around chapter 15 i said to myself, okay i need some sort of a plan or this thing will be 100 chapters of all smut and nonsense. It felt like it had no real plot. So i had some ideas and some talks with friends about what would be a fun direction to take it. By chapter 26, i had a definite plan for 27 and 28. But i usually dont plan very hard. I let the story write itself.

Anon Did minah get to go home safe?

Minah did get home safely. Unfortunately the two men she had been eyeing all evening went home with each other so she stumbled home alone and rather grumpy. Her disgruntled mood changed to guilt and worry when she found out what happened with Youngshik and Hot Dog and she vowed to kick him hard in the nuts if she saw him again. She never got the chance before the police took him away to be dealt with.

Anon How will their parents react to that marriage omg.. like are they going to repeat a ceremony for their families and friends or (I can imagine Baek doing this) just showing them a picture from their drunk marriage and being like “we got married c:” ?

This will most likely be addressed in the epilogue.

@peter-pan-princess Is 2AM in the same universe as IGU and All His?

yes, IGU, All His and 2AM are all in the same universe. That means the Jongdae who was dressed as Minseok’s lady at the halloween party, is the same Jongdae who is dating Minhee, Minseok’s sister. And the dress he wore actually belonged to Minhee. She also helped with his makeup. The pictures that were leaked of Jongdae were actually an ex he saw briefly before he got together with Minhee.

Did Sehun ever get over his crush on Hot Dog?

sehun is a brat and he never had a real crush, he’s just a flirty guy who likes girls and likes to see what he can get away with. He’s also not to blame for any of it really, but the shorties Baek and Kyungsoo see him as a little bit of a threat because he’s tall and pretty and the girls seem to like him. Hes unintentionally playing against their insecurities.

@mexbaekhyun DO THEY END UP HAVIG KIDS???? I NEED TO KNOW

This will probably be addressed in the epilogue

Anon a weird question but what’s baek & hd’s fave positions in bed bc i feel like i know but i need a confirmation vdhwbdw

This story was so smutty you know what their favorite positions in bed are. But okay okay. Baekhyun really enjoys watching her during sex, so any position that puts her right into his line of sight is a good position. Not that the others are bad positions, he still likes sex in the shower, sex against the wall, sex with her bent over the kitchen table or the arm of the sofa but his favorite, favorite thing in the world is watching himself disappear over and over again as he sits up on his ankles, rolling his hips. She enjoys being on top and he’s always more than willing to give in to her. The memories of her riding on top of him with her head thrown back as she cums are what gets him through some of the lonelier nights when he’s away on tour.

Anon lmao I was thinking how cute baek would be if he got hotdog knocked up but he’s an idol and that would be like reeeeaaaalllyyy inconvenient but still cute tho. They’re goals 👌👌

Unplanned pregnancies are really inconvenient regardless of one’s profession. HD is super careful to always take her pill every day but honestly, anything is possible and Baekhyun and HotDog’s relationship trend seems to all be about the word “Whoops”…if it happens, it would most likely be unplanned and a very real shock for both of them.

I do honestly believe that Baekhyun would be an amazing and very devoted father and the two would tackle the challenge of parenthood together, despite the obvious inconveniences. :D

[perfectionistwannabe]

My 2018 New Year’s Resolution was to read 100 books.  I did not accomplish that goal this year.  I was 16 books short.  The prior year, I read only 64 books.  This year, I read 20 more books than the previous year for a total of 84 books.  That’s not bad.  That’s 1.6 books each week.  

If I keep this up, I’ll be able to finally reach my goal of 100 books in 2019. 

Along the way to my goal, I discovered the secret to getting in an extra book a week.  On Sundays, I choose an easy read that’s 225 pages or less and read it in one day.  Of course, I didn’t discover how this could help my numbers until I was 3/4 of the way into the year.  

In 2018, I became more selective with what I chose to read instead of reading whatever is sent to me.  I am fortunate that the books I read were the ones that helped me grow this year.  I learned so much from every single book, but more importantly, I learned more about myself this past year.  

All 84 of the books I read this year helped me to answer the questions burning inside of me.  They educated me.  I learned that everything happens for a reason, and books can find their way into your hands when you need them the most.  In May, I was asked to leave New York and travel the world indefinitely with this guy I’ve been crushing on for the last 7 years.  When I decided to stay, I realized what was really going on in the grander scheme of the universe.  This beautiful man was trying to wake me up and free me from the cage I had built around myself since the tumor was removed (2013).  I was blind to what I had done to myself out of fear.

As my crush left for Tibet, Tal Gur contacted me and asked if I would like a copy of his book to review.  I read it and thought to myself…WOW.  This was the book I needed in this moment.  I understood what I needed to do.  I needed to free myself so that the next time when the hottest guy I know offers me the world, I will be in a position where I can drop everything and run away with him, because in my heart, that’s what I really wanted to do.  

Publishers and authors sent their books.  As I read each one, I realized that each book isn’t just an escape from this horrible 2018.  It was also the universe’s guide book into helping me get back on my feet again, to seeing what I was doing to myself out of fear, but most importantly shining the beam of light to show me how to be me again.

Sometimes it was the entire story, or it was just a sentence or a paragraph.  All 84 of the books listed below were the words I needed in 2018.  

The Best of the Best

For those looking for some ideas on what to read, these are the books that I found to be the best reads of 2018.

The Books I Curated Into My Library: For the books I thought were the best of the best were very few.  It’s a given that I curate all autographed copies and classical literature into my library.  But the books that entered into my collection based on its own merits (i.e. the books I would want saved for mankind to read if there was some cataclysmic end) are as follows:  Slade House, Hag, The Air You Breathe, Melmoth, The Mermaid and Mrs. Hancock, Scribe, Dietland, Neverwhere, Sommelier of Deformity, The Stuff of Stars, Everything Happens for a Reason, A Higher Loyalty, Anansi Boys, and The Tuner of Silences.

The Stuff I Learned from Self-Help:  This year was a tough year.  I literally fell apart.  My poor work husband spent most of this year trying to put me back together again.  When he wasn’t around, I read a lot of self-help books to try to get back to who I was.  Of all the books I read, I think The Abundance Project and Make Peace with Money were two of the most important books, because they speak my language.   At work, the Speed Reading book taught me how to perfect my craft (reading). 

What really helped me in understanding why everything was happening was Everything Happens for a Reason.  When one of my colleagues left to travel the world, Tal Gur contacted me about his book, The Art of Fully Living.  I made the difficult decision to not run off with my colleague.  While I do regret doing so, I thought…maybe my circumstances will change.  Gur’s book helped me to make the decision to free myself from the cage I built around myself that prevented me from running off with the hottest guy I know who was trying to give me the entire world. [Review: The Abundance Project]   

The Best YA/Children’s Books: When I tell publishers I read almost everything, that includes children’s books.  Oh, and I love YA.  Besides Brad Meltzer’s “I Am” collection (I curate all of his titles into my library, because he signs everything I have), I curated in The Stuff of Stars.  When I met the author, there was a moment between us when she asked me to read/review her book.  I haven’t written about her book yet, because I don’t know how to describe it beyond it being the most wonderful children’s book I’ve ever read.  It gave me goosebumps.  I cried at the end because it was so beautiful.  I thought…if I had a kid, this is exactly how I would feel telling them the story of how they came to be in my life.  It was just…I have no words.  The story took my breath away.  I feel like this book became a little secret in my life that I want to tell the world, but I don’t know how to accurately describe how this book made me feel.  So parents…pick up the book.  Read it to yourself and then decide. 

As for the others, Prince & Knight was beautifully done.  Loved it!  To finish off the year, I ended with Wundersmith, Book 2 in the Nevermoor series.  I love this series.  It sucks that I have to wait for Book 3 now.  [Review: Nevermoor]

Proper Romance Changed Me: I have a rule.  Or maybe I should say I had a rule.  I don’t do romance books.  But Shadow Mountain Publishing changed my mind about romance books when they launched their Proper Romance group.  The book that changed me was Promises and Primroses.  Lies, Love, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s followed.  They even have a steampunk series that I’ve been trying to finish (when I’m not trying to meet deadlines).  What I like about their stories is that it’s not mushy all unrealistic lovey dovey romcom books.  There’s no over the top “well this is just unrealistic” love stories.  It’s all PG rated.  None of that 50 Shades stuff I turn up my nose to.  In other words, it’s a clean romance.  It’s the way I like stories to be told (in a Jane Austen kind of way), especially because I am the type that will vomit after I say the words “be in a relationship with” or “get married.” [Review: Lies, Love and Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Christmas by Accident]   

The Scary & the SciFi Books: I read a lot of the Cirque du Freak series this year.  I have two books left.  Neil Gaiman’s books are excellent.  American Gods is still my favorite, but Anansi Boys and Neverwhere were just as good.  Erik Therme’s Roam scared me.  Scribe was one of the best ghost stories I’ve read in a while.  Melmoth made my mouth drop.  It disturbed me so much, I had to text my brother (who never reads) about it.  Did I mention I curated Melmoth into my library?  Hag was excellent (my first book I’ve read that has roots in Scotland).   But the story that really scared me this year was David Mitchell’s Slade House (another curated book).  

The Best Stories:  The stories I really enjoyed in 2018 beyond the ones mentioned above are: Before We Were Yours, The Air You Breathe, The Mermaid and Mrs. Hancock, Sommelier of Deformity, Dietland, The Escape Artist, The Girl You Left Behind, and The Other Side of the Bridge.

The Book Deserves Its Own Category: James Comey.  A Higher Loyalty.  The book was excellent…until the last 3 chapters.  This book helped me to understand my guys a lot better, because they used to work with Comey.  There’s so much about leadership that I recommend for all lawyers/public officials to read.  But the parts that really stood out to me is how he found a silver lining in life when he was faced with tragedy.  It made me understand the book Everything Happens for a Reason so much better. [Review]

Food:  Every single cookbook I read this year was so amazing.  I loved Siriously Delicious so much, I bought the book.  Then I found out Siri Daly was signing the book.  I showed up and told her who I was and she said she read my review and loved it.  Copycat Cooking from Six Sisters’ Stuff is also one of my all-time favorite cookbooks now.  The In N Out Burger and fries recipes were so much better than the real thing.  I can’t visualize a burger any other way now.  Glow 15 made me look at caring for myself differently now.  I take different vitamins now and eat differently because of it.  I recommend all 3 of these books.  [Reviews: Siriously Delicious, Copycat Cooking, Glow 15]

The Classics:  My work husband saw Villette sitting on my desk and he asked me about it.  He was a literature major in college, so naturally, he would ask.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him why I was reading it.  It’s a book you read when your heart has been broken.  It’s about unrequited love.  It took me most of the year to read it, but when I got to the end, I sat there heartbroken for Charlotte Bronte.  My friend was going through something similar where someone was in love with her and acting like M. Paul.  She couldn’t understand his crazy.  I explained to her what was really going on.  Men haven’t changed so much in the last 200 years. 

I finally read another monster classic: The Invisible Man.  I will say I was unimpressed.  The Legend of Sleepy Hollow read exactly like the Disney cartoon.  Kudos to Disney!  I don’t understand why Of Mice and Men is a classic.  I’m wondering if it has more to do with the language Steinbeck chose.  The highlight and uplifting classic of the year beyond Villette was T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets.  It had a very profound affect on me. 

I also finally read The Great Gatsby.  I read it alongside The Art of X-Ray Reading by Roy Peter Clark.  It helped me to really understand the depths of how beautiful this book is.  I do not recommend reading The Great Gatsby without Clark’s commentary (it’s only a chapter in X-Ray).  You will miss the importance of some of the elements used in the book, like color.    

Best Non-Fiction: Slave Stealers.  I learned so much about slavery then and now.  It’s not so different.  The providence at work for Tim Ballard and his team as they try to free children from the depths of hell just amazed me.  I remember sitting in bed, reading, exclaiming out loud, “No fucking way!”  Just amazing to see the Universe working to help people who are saving the innocents.  I highly recommend this book about real life work around the world to stop human trafficking (aka slavery).  [Review]

Below is the complete list of books I read this year.  If you’re interested in any of them, just click on the book and it will take you to Amazon where you can read more about the book and you can order it from there.

What I Read in 2018 - All 84 Books #book #books My 2018 New Year's Resolution was to read 100 books.  I did not accomplish that goal this year. 

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 44. New Zealand

Back again! It'd only been three weeks since Chelsay and I returned from New Zealand, and although the South Island was one of our best trips ever, we felt like something was missing. Did we not have enough CookieTimes? Well, duh, but it was something else... Oh. That's right! We forgot to go to the North Island.

Having missed half the country, Chels & I decided we needed a Kiwi Trip Round II, but this time, we wouldn't be exploring alone. Our friends Pete & Megan joined our journey from real-life Hobbiton to Mt Doom. And so it began: the Fellowship of (adventu)Ring

Before getting to the North Island, I want to briefly mention a work trip I’d returned from only 2 days prior. My meetings were in Atlanta, but if I’m flying 17+ hours to the US, I’m stopping in Dallas. Now, my family had been in Sydney only 6 weeks before, but I hadn’t been home since August. That meant this “house (work) money” stopover was a long-awaited oppo for home-cooked meals, QuizTime by Matt, and board games with the whole fam (Mini Monopoly was the game of choice).

It actually worked out that Chelsay wasn’t with me this trip — see, we can’t play Monopoly together. Her strategy is to buy all the property, lose all her money, not allow me to trade her cash for property, then continuously mortgage the properties until I start paying rent. It’s a ruthless, bleed-out strategy! The winner is decided in the first lap around the board, but I think she enjoys watching me slowly die over the next 6 hours.

That was a tangent... Anyway, I had a great time at home, and am actually returning for another work trip in just a few weeks.

Back to NZ now. I returned to Sydney on a Wednesday, and we were flying out to Auckland that same Friday. I basically just stayed at the airport for the day and a half in-between... Actually, this would have been a viable strategy with Megan’s ridiculous credit card benefits: her perks got us ~$200 in free food! I have to admit: we were so distracted by the free food that we nearly missed our flight. Last ones on the plane!

We arrived in Auckland fairly late, and had a 2.5 hour drive to our first destination: scuba diving at Poor Knight’s Island. I was still jet lagged from the US trip, so hardly remember any of the ride up. Actually, the only thing I remember from that night is that we needed to wake up at 7:15 for an 8:15 dive check-in.

7:15 didn’t happen. I awoke to Peter announcing to the room: “It’s 7:47!” I’m not sure why he happened to wake up, but we were so lucky he did. Our phones hadn’t switched timezones, but thank god’s Pete’s internal clock did. Sleeping any later might’ve caused us to literally “miss the boat.”

We somehow made it to the dive shop in time, but this early AM rush was just the start of the day’s excitement. See, Poor Knight’s is considered one of the most diverse, most secluded, and most best (yeah I did) dive spots in the entire world. Don’t believe me? Well, Jacques Cousteau lists Poor Knight’s in his Top 10, which is like cracking Chelsay’s favorite piece of white furniture. My point: he knows what he’s talking about.

As explained by our Welsh skipper, Poor Knight’s is a now-deserted island that was once part of a 25 km-wide caldera (!). For reference, the ring of that volcano was the same distance from Seattle to Sammamish.

As we got closer to the island, our guide Juergen prepped us for the dive. What safety checks we need to do in advance, what different hand signals meant, which animals we’d see, which animals we’d see “doing it”... Wait what? We didn’t say anything at the time, but this was the first instance of Juergen’s weird and repeated references to reproduction.

Some would say Juergen over-prepared us for the dive - we now knew too much. Anyway, we geared up into our 7 mm cold-protection wetsuits, threw on extra vests and a hood for good measure, and hopped in.

A couple things to note here. First, although normally frigid, we had really lucky weather which warmed the island’s water temp to a very reasonable 20 C. This meant our 7 mm wetsuits were overkill, though I think the extra coverage helped avoid Juergen’s objectifying eyes...

Second thing to note: the 7 mm wetsuit is FAR more buoyant than the 2 mm we’re used to wearing in Manly. After our initial dive descent, I quickly experienced this difference, nearly blacking out as the buoyant suit pulled me up from 10m to 3m in just a few seconds.

It actually took most of this first dive to adjust... and to just remember how to scuba dive. It was bizarre, but an absolute blast to be back in the water after not diving since Indonesia 7 months before. The setting lived up to its billing as well, as hundreds of species, thousands of fish, and infinite seaweed swayed back and forth with the current. Specifically, on Dive #1, we saw a sting ray, eagle ray, several camouflaged scorpion fish, a group of orange spotted nudibranch, and one especially playful wrasse.

I felt far more prepared for the next dive, which was lucky because we spotted all of the big stuff on this trip. It turns out I’m pretty good at spotting things when (A) they’re big, and (B) I’m not blacking out like I did on the first dive. For Dive #2, we saw two eagle rays, a moray eel, and a massive sting ray. Megan, our group’s most experienced diver got pretty close, which provides reference for how big this thing was.

A few more things I’d like to remember from our dive day:

My scuba learning curve might have been slow, but Chelsay had zero trouble. I think it’s because of her unique technique. First, I’ve never actually seen her swim. Instead, she sort-of floats around like a dead person and let’s the current do the work. Second, she takes EVERYTHING in. Through a combination of the goggle magnification and her already big eyes, it constantly looks like she’s just seen a shark.

Poor Knight’s is really a great spot for diving. Beyond the fish and swaying seaweed, the setting itself is just really cool. 20m tall pillars, underwater ocean caves, and phenomenal visibility to take it all in.

As if the diving wasn’t enough, our boat (“The No Stress Express”) came across a pod of ~15 curious dolphins on our ride back to shore.

After reaching land, we had a five hour drive to that night’s AirBnB. This seems like a long trek (basically driving from Seattle to Couer d’Alene AFTER a full day of scuba diving), but our entire group was up for the journey. It’s rare but extremely lucky to have travel buddies equally willing to push for the perfect itinerary, but that’s exactly what Chelsay and I had with Pete and Megan: our mirror couple that prioritizes getting the absolute most out of their travels.

How else did we ensure we were maximizing our time on the North Island? Road trip Maccas and Cookie Time McFlurrys. Crumbly chocolate chip cookies coated in caramel sauce and mixed in a creamy “bucket” of soft serve. ...Juergen would’ve made an inappropriate joke about the word creamy.

Thanks to Johnathan van Ness teaching us “How to Treat Our Skin Like the Gorgeous Organ She Is” and Daniel & Jorge explaining “What is a multiverse?”, the five hour drive went quickly and we were at our AirBnB in no time. And what a unique AirBnB it was.

We pulled into the Big Bird BnB, where our lovely host Dotty stayed up late to show us our cottage. Dotty off-handedly mentioned her animals, which gradually led to us discovering she had entire petting zoo. This wasn’t just any petting zoo though... Dotty had a “collection” of MINI cats, dogs, cows, goats, rams, and horses. Note, not all of the aroused horse was tiny... Juergen would’ve been going nuts. This miniature collection went along with normal-sized animals: pigs, ostriches, emus, and snaggle-toothed alpacas. Damn Dotty, where’s the Ark!?

The exclamation mark on our bizarre but very pleasant surprise of a BnB was the breakfast: bacon and (ostrich) egg on toast, with kitten cuddles on the side.

We couldn’t have asked for a better start, but it was only the beginning of an adventurous day. Our first stop was the nearby Waitomo Caves, one of TripAdvisor’s Top 10 highest rated destinations in the world. ...between this and Jacque Cousteau’s dive spot, a lot of Top 10s in this trip already.

We’d signed up to essentially float through an underground cave on an inner tube. The catch: rather than head lamps, the caves are illuminated solely by bioluminescent glow worms.

After a brief introduction, we once again wetty’d up for cold, wet, damp, and unavoidable submersion. We followed our guides through the cave’s entrance, which was really just a crack in the ground barely bigger than my body. Once inside, the walls didn’t get much wider, though they got far taller. Navigating narrow passages towering as high as 40 feet, we sloshed through running water while descending deeper and deeper into the damp dwelling.

Now 50 feet below the surface, we’d escaped all natural light. The cave itself was wet, but we were also soaked after tubing through underground streams and leaping off several waterfalls. After a particularly splashy jump from a 6-foot ‘fall, our guide asked us to form an inner tube-train. Something was happening — we must have arrived.

The group formed a floating line, though with our headlamps on, we couldn’t really tell what the fuss was. This particular cavern looked like each room before: a long, narrow passage, framed be limestone walls and stalactite millennial (i.e. they took a millennium to develop. Not millennial like... instagrammers. No, not funny? I’ll try another millennial reference in a sec).

The guide asked us to turn our headlamps off, and the show began. The limestone walls and entitled millennial stalactites disappeared in the darkness, but the cave hadn’t quite turned pitch black.... Galaxies of tiny blue bioluminescent lights now consumed the cave’s ceiling above us. Layers and layers of overlapping blue light.

It didn’t seem real — more like an attraction at Disney. This is fake right? The rock is just hollowed plastic, and there’s a black light somewhere back there?

Nope, these lights were very real and (uh huh) very natural. See, the light is produced when underground worms create waste. Through evolution, the worm’s waste began to glow, which attracted and trapped more food. Nature!

The amazing thing is that these glow worms had been all around us, but were hidden by the light from our headlamps.

With all other lights off though, the worm’s shit shined. The sharp light from the cave’s ceiling softly reflected off the water below, illuminating the long passage of the otherwise black cave into infinity.

Shockingly, we were underground for almost 90 minutes, so our eyes had really gotten used to the dark. Exiting into the sunlight felt like leaving da clubz after an all-night bender... which I do often.

We were literally stepping out of a hole in the ground, which is a perfect transition to our next destination: Hobbiton. The fictional home to hobbits, where their homes are built directly into holes in the ground. Does a hobbit’s shit glow too?

The ride over was short but entertaining. First, the views. Having now driven through both the North and South Island, New Zealand’s landscape continues to amaze me. I don’t know how such a small country can have such diverse landscapes. It’s like the entire EU packed into a country the size of WYOMING. This particular drive reminded us of Ireland, with vibrant rolling green hills and a population of cows that far outnumbered the local humans.

Second point to note from the ride, our entertainment: Chelsay. Megan hadn’t seen the LotR’s series (c’mon Pete), but Hobbiton wouldn’t be the same experience without context. Don’t worry. There’s no one better to boil down a 9 hour film series than Chelsay. She should have her own show summarizing plot lines. I try to imagine what Tolkien would say if he’d heard Chelsay’s explanation of LotR... I’m sure he’d agree it was an Oxford-level literary lesson.

With our whole team now on the same page (book pun?) re: Hobbiton, we were ready to tour the fictional hamlet. Our guide for the day was Paul, who was truly living his best life. Describing Paul as “a big LotR guy” would be an undersell. There’s a 120% chance he dressed up as Gandalf for the movie premiers. We couldn’t have gotten a better tour guide though, as Paul’s enthusiasm was infectious.

Not only was Paul Middle Earth’s biggest cheerleader, but he clearly knew his stuff. As we perused the Green Dragon Inn or Bag-End, Paul shared insider stories from Hobbiton’s history.

Before filming started, Peter Jackson, LotR’s Oscar-winning director, had flown over this farmland and thought it would be the perfect Hobbiton. He landed his helicopter and approached the owner, asking if the farmer would allow a film set on his property.

Not hip to the fantasy fiction culture, the farmer rejected the offer and told Jackson that “he, his helicopter, and their Harry Potter magic riff raff could bugger off.” I’m paraphrasing.

That night the farmer told his family about the cooky Hollywood director. The farmer��s son (more hip to the fantasy fiction culture) saw LotR’s dollar sign potential and called his dad a “daft sod.” Dad called Jackson the next day and the rest is history.

EXCEPT NOT! After LotR finished filming, they tore the set down! The first trilogy wrapped up in 2003, and without further need for Hobbit holes, the farmer took his land back. Great. Except he was missing out on a huge tourist opportunity.

Luck again saved our fortuitous farmer friend though, as LotR was so successful that Jackson pursued a second trilogy, The Hobbit. The filmset was built back up, but this time, they didn’t tear ‘nuffin down after filming. Instead, they put up a sign that read “Nerds welcome,” and the tourist crowds came in droves. Our group included.

The set is genuinely a fairy tale. What used to be open farmland is now truly Hobbiton, with 39 (!) intricately detailed homes, each etched with hints of the occupant’s occupation. Florist, baker, village drunk. Led by fanatical Phil, we paraded through “precious” pathways (alliterative Golem reference), trying our luck at hobbit games like stilts, and quenching our thirst with brewed-on-site beverages.

The fairy tale hamlet was buzzing and jovial, but we had to get a move on because that night’s AirBnB was about two hours south.

The drive a stark contrast to Hobbiton as it included almost zero humans. I mean that in two ways: there was both a lack of civilization, and also everyone in the car fell asleep during my turn to drive. Daniel & Jorge were the only ones to keep me company, and they rambled on about small-talk-topics like whether the universe is random or chaotic.

Shockingly, we came across a small town closer to our AirBnB. Thank god because we’d finished all the car ride CookieTimes and I was hungry. There appeared to be only one restaurant in this town, and its name was Rust — not the most appealing description. With few alternatives, we shot our shot and the meal was a massive success. Massive is the key descriptor. These burgers needed a butchers knife to stay upright.

It was necessary sustenance though, as our hike the next day, the Tongariro Crossing, required all the energy we could muster (mustard? Burger pun? ...I’m tired and writing this from a 24 hr plane ride to London).

For a bit of extra energy, we slept-in the next morning and took our time with a tasty fried egg breakfast courtesy of Chef Pete. Unfortunately this slower start created a new risk. See, Tongariro is a 19 km one-way hike: you park at the trail-end, then take a shuttle up to the start. However, because it’s such a long hike, most trekkers start early so the shuttle only runs from 5 AM to 10 AM. We pulled into the lot at 10:08. Ohhhhh, pickles.

Luckily there was a man wearing an orange construction vest. He looked official, like a park ranger, but honestly he could’ve been anyone. We asked him if he knew a way to get back to the trailhead, and because he had a truck, asked if he could give us a ride. I don’t want to give this guy too much credit because I’m sure he’s perfected this with hundreds of sleepy-headed tourists, but the savvy SOB responded “You got cash?” Goodonya mate. This burly Maori man is in the middle of nowhere New Zealand, and he’s created his very own Uber for Idiots Who Slept In. I’m immediately recommending him to EY’s Entrepeneur of the Year program.

“Joe”, as he introduced himself, was actually a really nice guy. He offered to pull over for pictures, asked if we needed any sunscreen, and even told us about his family. He was proud that his eldest daughter had just shot three deer... which means he has guns... which means we weren’t pulling over for any pictures... actually we just want to get out of Joe’s truck asap.

The ride was quite long (30 minutes), so upon safe delivery, we thought we were being generous when we offered 40 AUD to Joerotorua (we were skeptical of his white person name so made up our own). Joe really had us by the balls when he responded “That’s all?” We played dumb, sheepishly smiled, and quickly exited.

Woo. I joke about Joerotorua, but he actually saved us. Our day could’ve been seriously sidetracked if he hadn’t helped-a-Hobbit out. Thanks to his entrepreneurial venture though, we ended up right where we needed to be: the Tongariro Crossing trailhead.

Now, Tongariro was actually a tough fit into our initial itinerary. When planning, we struggled to justify forcing this out-of-the-way hike into an already packed agenda... I mean, we’d already been to Poor Knight’s, Waitomo Glow Worm Caves, and Hobbiton. Was it really worth it? Let’s have a Googl-WE’RE GOING! It took about two Google images to realize this other worldly landscape was a must-do.

And so we set off, taking our first steps into the 19.4 km trek. The payoff was essentially immediate. Within the first few Ks, we were navigating towns of bizarre lava formations, trekking through Martian deltas under LotR’s Mt Doom, and conquering what we would later find out is called The Devil’s Staircase.

We were really lucky with the weather. As I write this, I’m not sure I even appreciate how lucky we were. Spoiled brat. This particular weekend, the traditionally hit or miss North Island was hit by and Aussie Heatwave (and I don’t just mean my sexy mid-length socks *wink*). But seriously, it was hot. 90 degrees. No shelter or shade. Walking on an active volcano. Like a desert mirage, the horizon shimmered into a sweltering haze.

Like Frodo and the Fellowship, we fought the dark powers of Mt Doom’s incline before reaching the trail’s saddle. From here, the 360 degree views were unbelievable. I specifically remember looking out at the perfect desolate symmetry of Mt Doom and thinking “This is crazy.” The I turned 180 degrees to see the otherworldly colors of an exploded volcanic crater and thought: “THIS is crazy!” Then I walked 100 yards to find sulfuric steam rising from emerald lakes located between Martian lava fields and I thought: “EVERYTHING is crazy!”

We stopped for some epic-LotR journey footage on Pete & Megan’s drone (aka Charles Lindbergh), before enjoying potentially the most picturesque picnic of my life. In terms of hard grades, the views were and absolutely unbeatable A+. Our entertainment was also 10/10: a super friendly Kiwi who showed us how to quickly descend the scree via skip (we called it the “graceful little prance”... or was it “graceful little prince”. It works either way). The only F grade: a sulfuric fart smell hanging in the air.

Now, Poor Knight’s, Waitomo, and Hobbiton (+ Dotty’s animal farm) all exceeded expectations. They were dope, but it was this track, the late add to the itinerary, Tongariro Crossing, that I’ll remember most from the North Island.

Mt Doom and our 19km hike through Mordor was truly a full-day activity. Following our eight hours on the trail, we had a two hour drive to our final stop of the trip, Rotorua (yes, of “Joerotorua”). By the time we arrived, the only sensible option was a second round of Maccas. Imagine how badly Frodo and Samwise would’ve wanted a CookieTime McFlurry after their own hike through Mordor.

We passed out *herd* (Chelsay saying “hard” in her hood voice) that night, but were surprising spry the next morning. It was our last day on the North Island, and Rotorua (aka RotoVegas... that’s not a joke) had plenty to offer.

We had three options for the day. First, street luge. Yerp. Second, redwoods. Yerp. Third, geothermal hotspots. Ehhhh. We decided to pass given we’d endured enough fart smells at Tongariro (...I’m also pretty sure Joerotorua let a rage-one rip after we shorted him with 40 AUD). Anyway, we decided to focus on the first two picks.

Stop one was the famous Rotorua Street Luge. This place was another adult playground... I’m surprised Queenstown didn’t have a street luge. Oh wait, they did? Makes sense. But the Rotorua version is bigger and better!

We decided one run wouldn’t be enough, so signed up for three. For the first luge, we went conservative in the intermediate lane. It was good getting a feel for the track, but once we’d raced to the bottom, we were ready for Expert.

It was here that our group became known to the locals. They started calling us the “Bomb Squad”... (They didn’t, but I’m retroactively adding it). Our four-person havoc wreaking, hell raising, Harry Potter magic riff raff group bombed down the track as we passed far more conservative Chinese tourists and liberally braking/highly offended families. They’ll forever remember the Bomb Squad. A couple other notes from the luge:

You actually go quite fast (up to 30 mph), and the Expert track dips to help you power through turns.

My stomach flipped a little as I pulled two wheels off the ground on one particularly hard turn.

I’m not sure Chelsay applied her brakes. Like, not once.

Like the real Vegas, RotoVegas was toasty, so our next stop was a welcomed reprieve: Rotorua’s redwood forests. After stepping out of the car to the parking lot’s sulfuric smell, we escaped from both the fart scent and the sun into the pine-y shade of the redwoods. It was here that we were able to reflect on what and action-packed four days it had been.

I’ve always said that the sign of a great trip is the ability to point to a memorable activity from each day. Well, damn. One day we went scuba diving in one of the top dive sites in the entire world, spotting horn-tailed sting rays and even hornier-tailed dive instructors. The next day we explored a seemingly fake glow worm cave, followed by a visit to a seemingly real-life Hobbiton. Then we trekked through Tongariro (aka Mordor... aka Mars... aka Joerotorua’s place of business). Finally, we wrapped up with street luge and big ass trees.

This isn’t even to mention the wonderful company Chelsay and I got to share. Sure, the itinerary delivered an amazing four days, but what made this trip truly special was spending it with our mirror couple Manly fam (aka the Bomb Squad).