#literally the five songs in my head just going round and round

[pearloftheorient]

tagged by @ohsehunny & @untouchabyeolman <33 thank you loves!!!

my current top 5 favourite songs

Dum Dum - Jeff Satur

Good Enough - Xdinary Heroes

Rose Blossom - Young K (Day6)

Sour - The Rose

Helium - Key (SHINee)

Crimzone - SB19 - I HAD TO ADD

tagging: @darkthestars, @mystiokinesis, @fatecrafted, @indigodreames, @jamiesharkdododo, @dvarapala and whoever wants to do this!!!

[shawnxstyles]

personal

DATE: JULY 24, 2023

summary: you and harry are best friends who tell each other everything. or so you thought. when harry finds out you’ve barely done anything sexual, he offers to change that. and then things get a little… personal.

song: Glitch- taylor swift (this song seems fitting)

words: 6.5k

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [rubbing, fingering, nipple play, praise kink], mirror sex, cum tasting??, dirty talk), and language.

note: i literally wrote this in a few days i think. this idea is so basic, but who doesn’t love a cliché concept? PART 2

bestfriend!fratrry x inexperienced!reader (because i literally write no one else and fratrry is the love of my life)

—

Harry had a lot of friends. People that he grew up with and some that he met along the way that just stayed. But you were his number one overall, and he told you everything. You told him everything too.

Well, almost everything.

It never really caught his attention that you guys never talked about sex. You guys have been friends for 15 years, since you were five, so you’d think it would have been brought up at least once. But now that Harry thinks about it, he can’t think of one time you’ve talked about the act.

He didn’t think it would be like this. And he didn’t think you’d answer like that.

You and Harry were casually hanging out on a free school day, just like you always do. And then you start talking about this date you went on and how the guy was great. Harry was happy for you, he really was. All he wanted was to see his best friend happier than happy. However, being the best friend he was, he was nagging and joking with you.

“Think he’s the one, eh?” Harry jokes, nudging your shoulder playfully on your couch.

“Oh, stop it. Don’t get ahead of yourself,” You roll your eyes and cross your arms. Yeah, Mike seemed like a decent guy and maybe you could have a relationship for a short time, but he was nowhere near “the one.”

You weren’t too desperate for a relationship, you liked whatever came to you. This cute guy asked you on a date a week ago and you weren’t going to say no. Because what if he was the one? He wasn’t, but what if?

“Imagine it, Doll,” Harry started. He began calling you Doll when you two were just kids. You loved to collect dolls of all sorts, but you never dared to take them out of the box. Harry thought it was silly, but also cool. “picket white fence, beautiful lake house. Kids runnin’ ‘round—”

He saw your face cringe at the word kids. He tilted his head in confusion, arm moving to rest behind you on the couch. He scoots closer to you and waits for you to respond.

“No kids for me,” You awkwardly chuckle. It seemed almost sad the way you sounded.

“What? Thought you wanted to be a mum?”

“Not anymore,” You breathed out with an awkward smile, “need a husband to do that.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout getting a husband. Shouldn’t stop you from wanting ‘em,” Harry smiled sincerely at you and you nodded while looking down.

“Plus, you could always just go out on the street and ask some good-lookin’ lad to be the father of your kids!” You socked Harry hard in the shoulder. He lets out a hearty laugh because he always ruins a sweet moment with a stupid joke. That’s just how you like it though.

“I’m not a prostitute!”

“Never said tha’.”

“Can we just watch some TV? You’re annoying me,” You roll your eyes as you reach for the remote. Harry continues to laugh as you switch the television on.

When you’re indecisive, you toss the remote to Harry and he shuffles through the stations. He lands on a random one, also indecisive. You guys were too similar sometimes.

“Look on your phone for somethin’ and then I’ll find it. I’m done searching.”

“You looked for like two seconds!” You laughed at his laziness. He shrugs with a smile, leaning into the couch. Again, you roll your eyes playfully before doing a bit of research on your phone.

Suddenly, a moan echoes throughout your living room and your whole body stiffens up. Harry notices and tears his eyes away from the screen, which was portraying the sexy noises. You don’t look at him even though you can feel his eyes burning into you.

“Alright?” he asked out of concern, peering at your rigidness. He’s only ever seen you get like that when you were anxious or scared, but nothing happened. Maybe you saw something scary on your phone?

“Uh, yeah,” You squeaked as the TV moaned again. Your face cringes and you force yourself to keep your eyes on your phone.

“Y/N, seriously,” Harry stares between you and the screen when she noisily moans again. The woman was being eaten out by the man and was being overly loud. Her back was arching and her breasts were on display. The movie was inappropriate, 18+ for sure, but it was nothing you hadn’t seen before. Right? You were both 21 years old.

“This… just makes me a tad uncomfortable is all,” You answered honestly, voice quiet as your legs tightened together. Harry’s eyebrows pursed together.

“Uncomfortable? Why?” he couldn’t help the question that slipped out of his mouth. He was too curious to know why a little movie made you stiff yet fidgety.

Unless… you were feeling something different than uncomfortable.

“No,” You shook your head and attempted to push yourself off the couch. Harry didn’t hesitate to grab your wrist and pull you back. He didn’t want you to run away and for you to feel like you couldn’t tell him something.

“Just tell me.”

“No,” You stood your ground, way too embarrassed to say something. Way too embarrassed to admit that you’ve never had sex before. Way too embarrassed to admit you’ve never done anything more than rub your own clit. Once. And it didn’t even feel that good.

Your skin was fiery and… tingly. Harry was much closer to you than he previously was because he pulled you closer to him. Your bare thighs were touching, warm on warm with a sudden spark. You didn’t know you weren’t breathing until you inhaled deeply at Harry’s hooking stare.

“Doll, you tell me everything, but you can’t tell me why a little porn makes you uncomfortable? Because I know it’s tha’.”

“Ugh,” You groaned between clenched teeth. You threw your head back until it hit the top of the couch. Harry’s grip on your wrist never left you. He squeezed it reassuringly, letting you know that he supports you in whatever you’re going to say.

Are you really about to say it?

“Y/N, just—”

“No.”

“I thought we were best friends—”

“Do not pull that card!”

“But—”

“I’ve never had sex before, okay?” You shouted over Harry’s pleading voice and the echoing moans from the television. You’d think by the time you had a whole argument they’d be done having sex, but nope.

Harry was cut off, so his mouth was slacked open. Once he realizes his jaw is on the floor, he blinks a few times to really process what you’ve said. If you had told anyone else, they would have harshly judged you. Harry wasn’t necessarily too different, but he was your best friend, and he was going to try his hardest not too. Harry was just more shocked if anything. He had a handful of different bodies, enough to give him a good amount of experience. So when he finds out you’ve done nothing, he’s beyond surprised to his core.

“But you’ve had so many dates,” Harry looks over at your face, which was looking down at your lap. Your wrist was still trapped in his hand, but you were twiddling your thumbs like you were in trouble. He starts rubbing reassuring circles with his thumb over your knuckle. Your skin was so hot, and Harry’s theory of you being turned on continued in his mind.

Did you even know what that meant? You were naive, right?

“So? That doesn’t mean anything,” Your attitude was shining through. But deep down, you were more embarrassed than anything. This was just your coping mechanism. And of course, Harry knew that.

“Surely you’ve done something else,” Harry suggests. You pin him with a knowing look and a long blink.

“I haven’t,” You answered before even hearing his question. He clearly doesn’t care about your reply because he’s asking you a series of interrogation questions.

“Have you had someone eat you out—” Harry points to the screen, but it was on a commercial break now. You got the point, but Harry clearly didn’t.

“No,” You grumbled.

“What about fingering—”

“No.”

“A toy?”

“Where would I even buy that?”

“Or—”

“No, Harry. Nothing.”

“Not even rubbing?” he asks. You stay quiet, unsure if you want to admit the one-time experiment you did.

Why does it even matter? You tried it and you realized you don’t like it, so you never have to do it again right?

“Not… really,” You hesitated. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion while your skin burned at boiling temperature.

“Humping?”

“No—I tried to…” You couldn’t get the words out. Not ever you’d think. But especially not with Harry so close to you. His body was warm, not as warm as yours, but it was eliciting something inside of you that you couldn’t comprehend. The way he nonchalantly said so many dirty things made you dizzy.

“Tried to what?” Harry was thinking of so many things you could say. He wanted to finish your sentence, just like how he wanted to finish you until you were crying his name and soaking him. But he wanted to hear you say it. He’s never thought of you in such an explicit way, but with the words and tension floating in the air it was hard not to.

“…do it myself.”

“And how did that work out, Doll?”

“Um,” You didn’t expect him to ask. Your neck and cheeks light up in small flames. Where did this come from? “I…”

“What? I thought you could tell me anything?” When your eyes flickered up to his, they were a dark, swirling green you’ve never seen on his face before. Your heart skipped a dangerous beat, frightened with anticipation.

“I know, I can. But this… it’s different.”

“How so?”

“It’s personal—”

“Best friends are personal.”

“But not like this. Best friends don’t do this,” You tried to get up again, nearly ripping yourself away from his grip. But you were in too deep now. Harry wasn’t going to let this one slide. His mind was thinking about one thing and one thing only.

You.

He yanks you back and twirls you around, releasing your wrist in the process. He grabs you by the hips and pulls you down to his lap. You couldn’t contain the slight gasp you let out at the feeling of his strong legs beneath you. Your legs were on either side of him, tempting to squeeze shut. Every movement you made Harry would feel in this position.

“Best friends can say anything. They can do anything too,” Harry’s hands caress your thighs. They’re comforting and inviting, but are also sending a field of goosebumps along your skin warning you to flee. It’s hard to focus on anything but his touch and the vibration of his words through the air. “Now, tell me, did you rub yourself?”

“Yes,” You stutter, trying to stop your hips from squirming on his lap. He notices and grips one side of your body to steady you. It only makes you want to shift more. His touch was almost overwhelming, but you wanted more of it.

Was it wrong to want more of your best friend’s touch?

“Did it feel good?”

“No,” A part inside of you was a bit disappointed that it felt so bland. You thought masturbation was this great thing, and that’s why people did it so frequently. You heard it was also a stress-reliever, but for you, it was just a stress-inducer. Harry could tell by your tone that you weren’t lying.

“Well, you probably weren’t doing it right,” Harry replies and you look up at him with a slightly startled expression and a scoff. You didn’t expect his response to be so straightforward, like he was a doctor diagnosing you with some disease.

“How could I do it wrong? Don’t I just rub…?”

“Baby, it’s much more than that,” Harry said sincerely. He’s never called you baby before, but the nickname had your heart jumping. “Were you even wet?”

“What? I—probably? I don’t remember…”

“You would remember.”

“The experience wasn’t very memorable,” You grumble with an eye roll.

“Do you want me to show you?”

His question had your head spiraling. He wanted to what? There is no way. There is no way those words just left Harry, your best friend’s, mouth.

“W-what? That’s way too personal!” Your eyes were wide and your skin was burning. You were nearly dizzy with this whole conversation and your stomach was tight. You thought you might need to lie down for a while.

Maybe you were sick. Yeah, that’s it.

“Best friends are personal, Doll. Just let me show you, yeah? And then we never have to talk about it again. If y’don’t want. Please,” Harry’s charm was convincing you. Everything about him was luring you in, completely different than ever before. The way his eyes was dark and his touch was warm made you feel wanted and needed, which was contrary to your past dates. They didn’t look at you this way, nearly beg for you this way. They didn’t show you anything. They wanted you because they wanted to get their dick wet, but they hated the idea of a virgin.

And Harry’s familiar. He’s safe. You don’t have to be afraid when you’re with him. But then why are you so nervous?

Harry was willing to teach you how to do the one thing you’ve been curious about your whole life, and you’re going to pass up the opportunity, why? Because he’s your best friend?

Isn’t that supposed to make it better?

“Okay, fine,” You inhaled as your hands gripped onto his T-shirt on his shoulders. You had convinced yourself to let the words slip out. “Show me.”

You were agreeing almost as if this wasn’t a big deal for you. But to Harry, it was. He would take your firsts, and something about that filled him with pride. A smirk slowly rides up on his lips, “Now?”

A blush cascades through your body. Of course he didn’t mean right now!

“I-I thought you meant—”

“Shh, relax, Doll. I was just makin’ sure,” he smirks again, pulling you closer to him. He loved watching you get all squirmy and flustered more than he thought. You could feel his body heat more than ever now, and you’re surprised you lasted this long on his lap without dying. “I’m going to give you a few options, okay?”

With anxiousness, you nodded and swallowed.

“When we do this, you have to talk. So use your words, Y/N,” You knew he was being serious when he said your name, so you replied with yes and then he was giving you your options.

“So, I can lay you down right here on the couch and show you how to rub your little clit,” his explicit words were making your privates ache, but it wasn’t painful. It kind of felt… good? You felt a foreign liquid dampen your underwear, and you can only assume that’s the wetness Harry was talking about. “Or, you can do it yourself on m’thigh with my help. Which one sounds like something y’want to do?”

“The first one,” You answered, painfully desperate to squeeze your legs together to stop this ache. “But how will I see what you’re doing?”

Harry thought for a moment. You made a good point. How were you supposed to learn simply from feeling? Harry knew you were a bit of a visual learner, so he wanted to make sure you saw how to pleasure yourself correctly. And he knew the perfect way to do that.

“I actually have a third option. But s’not really a choice anymore,” Harry doesn’t say anything after, he just lifts himself and you off the couch without warning. You wrap your arms and legs around his body like a koala, making sure you don’t fall. His warmth encompasses you back and you wish you could just stay there forever.

Familiar. Safe.

When your head peers up from his shoulder, you’re in his bathroom. Your eyebrows pinch together, curious as to what his third choice was.

He sets you down on the floor until your feet are planted. You unwrap your arms from him, still confused.

“Do you trust me, Y/N?” Harry’s eyes were still dark, and you wondered if they would ever go back to the strong, emerald green they used to be.

“Yes, of course,” You didn’t hesitate to answer. There was no one that you trusted more than Harry that wasn’t in your bloodline.

“Okay,” Harry breathes, “Strip f’me. Keep your bra and underwear on.”

You nearly questioned him in shock. But then you remembered what the whole goal of this was. He was going to show you how and you were going to listen, right? So you did.

Carefully, you stripped yourself of your clothes. He’s seen you in bathing suits before, and some were revealing, so this can’t be as bad, right? Harry didn’t peel his eyes away although you wanted him to. He hasn’t seen you naked since you two were little kids, and even though you weren’t naked, it felt like you were with his burning gaze. Obviously, there were some changes too. Like height, hair, breasts, ass… the whole thing. Harry doesn’t say anything until you’re in your undergarments.

A swimsuit is definitely different.

“Good. Now, c’mere,” Harry sits down on the floor, a few feet away from his full-body mirror. His body was up against the bathtub wall to keep himself steady. You slowly lowered yourself to the floor, wondering what was going on through his head.

He pulls you between his legs until you’re pressed against his body. His warmth radiated through you far better with less clothes on and your body ached some more. Your legs closed to squeeze it away.

“Nuh uh,” he declines. Harry grips your thighs with his ringed fingers and yanks them apart. You gasp at the extreme vulnerability and the coolness that waves over your privates. He throws your legs over his and bends them slightly, making you unable to move at all. “Keep them open, yeah?”

You nodded, but that’s not what he told you to do.

“Words.”

“Yes. Keep them open.”

“Good girl. You’re learning,” Harry smiled and looked towards the mirror. His eyes instantly zoomed in on the growing wet patch on the front of your cotton panties, and he couldn’t help but smirk. He saw and felt your body squirming similarly like how you were on his lap. He’s had a rock-hard cock since this conversation started, so he’s not surprised if you can feel his hard-on poking your back through his shorts.

His hands rested on your knees as you watched him in the mirror. The entirety of it all was extremely erotic, like something that would be on TV.

“If you like something, tell me. If you hate something, tell me. It’s important that you do so, okay? It helps both of us learn.”

“Okay,” You were nearly shaking with anticipation. You were so nervous, but why? It’s just Harry. It’s just Harry. “I kind of like when you say I’m doing a good job. Makes me feel… nice.”

“Yeah?” Harry tried to conceal the smirk that threatened to rise on his lips. Of course his best friend, who happened to be the most innocent person in the world, had a praise kink. It just made too much sense. “Like when I call you a good girl?”

You sighed and nodded, but Harry didn’t say anything this time. He just kept going.

One of his hands rested on your knee, tracing delicate circles. He stayed in the same spot, for god knows how long, and you wondered when he would do something. He seemed to be in a trance. He was hyper-focusing on every centimeter with those circles, and although you were getting impatient, you felt cared for.

One of his hands snakes to your chest and rubs your nipple through your bra. Just when you were about to protest, his fingers moved a tad lower. The roughness of his pads tickled your skin just right and caused your thighs to squirm. It was entertaining for Harry to watch you get all squirrely from such a simple touch.

He’s going to have fun with you.

“It… tickles,” You observe as your eyes look down at his fingers, very gradually moving closer to that ache in between your legs. You felt like a kid exploring a new world for the first time; naive and curious.

“What does?”

“Your fingers,” You stare at him in the mirror almost as if he’s stupid. What else would tickle?

“Does this tickle?” Harry’s knuckle brushes the inside of your thighs, lower than he’s been. You inhale at the subtle sensitivity.

“Not much,” You answer, and his knuckle continues to sway leisurely. Your breath picks up, rising faster at his hand’s proximity.

“What about this?” His index finger traces the hem of your panties with purpose. You gasp when he gets deep in between your legs, outlining your cunt with ease. Your legs attempt to shut with a shake, shying away from the vulnerability, but it’s impossible with his strong legs prying you open.

“A-a little.”

“And this?”

As if his touch could be anymore teasing, he finally dances along your clothed cunt, tracing your lips with curiosity of how you’d react. A mix of a sigh and a moan wavers out of you unintentionally, hips pushing closer towards his finger. Your mind blanks, light and fuzzy. Your face immediately falls to gaze at his movements, attracted to the air-headed feeling.

“Eyes on the mirror,” Harry demands while delicately caressing you. It was ironic, really. His voice was so rough and stoic while his touch was ever so gentle. With a few blinks, you're focusing in on the mirror, obeying his command. “How does this feel? Does it tickle?”

“Good, and yes,” You swallow your moan as his finger keeps petting you lightly. You were almost getting used to it, but you wanted more. “Is this what I was supposed to do?”

“Sort of. This is called foreplay. Heard of tha’?”

“I think so?” You were breathless.

“S’basically where I get you all wet and ready f’me. You like that?”

“L-love and hate relationship right now,” You pant as his finger rises away from your weeping, covered hole and travels up to your clit. You choke out a gasp as he strokes it nonchalantly.

“Oh,” Your hand drops to his thigh, gripping it strongly as your body begins to tingle. You strain your neck to keep your eyes on the mirror ahead of you, trying to watch how he does it.

His familiar smirk never fades from his face, cheeks a tad rosy from the heat waving between you two. His wrist is probably sore from the tedious, repeated movements he does. His thick fingers delicately circle your covered clit, applying generous pressure until you’re panting.

“More. I think I need more,” You suggest when his pace stays a consistent speed. You needed to feel his fingers on your bare skin. If he was going to touch you, you wanted him to just do it already.

“Y’think?” Harry’s tone was taunting yet serious. He wanted you to be firm with what you wanted. He didn’t want you to second-guess your own pleasure. If you needed more, you needed to tell him that. The best way for that to happen was for him to train you. “Beg for it.”

As your head becomes floaty with the stimulation, you don’t even hesitate to throw out pleads.

“Please, Harry. I-I need it, need more,” Your head slowly falls back onto his shoulder before his touch is gone. “Wha—”

Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to see you. All of you. He needed to see what he did to you, and if you were really as desperate as you seemed. As shocking as this all may be to you, it was just as shocking to Harry. He couldn’t believe he was this turned on from his best friend’s inexperience. He’s always liked when a girl knew what she was doing and knew how to reciprocate. But something about Harry teaching you and showing you the ropes just fills him with a kind of power and pride that he can’t get from anywhere else. And he’s feasting off of it.

“M��gonna take these off, alright?”

“Everything? O-okay,” He unclipped your bra as you slowly slid down your panties. The tile beneath you was colder than before, but Harry’s warm body behind you kept you comforted.

“Have you heard of the traffic light system?” he asks, hands resting gently on your bare shoulders. He gets straight into the safety part first. It also distracts him from ogling your naked figure against him. He could feel his cock twitch in his briefs at your fluttering pussy and peaked nipples.

“I assume you don’t mean the ones used for driving?” You both chuckle and break some of the swollen tension in the room. It was a nice little reminder that it’s just Harry.

“No, Doll. The one for safety and consent,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, no, I’ve never heard of it.”

“If you say red, I’ll stop instantly and ask what made y’red. Communication is key. If y’say yellow, I’ll slow down and ask you again. And then we can either continue or stop, whatever y’want. But if your color is green, I’ll keep going. Understand, love?”

There was a lot of information, but you were able to keep up. It was actually similar to the traffic light system, which makes the name very fitting. You reply with a firm yes to note that you understand.

All while he was talking and explaining everything, you were getting used to looking at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t always confident in your body, but staring at it in between Harry’s made you feel safe and sexy somehow.

Before your mind can wander too far, Harry’s hands are falling down until they’re at your nipples. His rough fingers lightly pinch the already-hard buds until you’re pushing up into his touch. The warmth and the nakedness made you overly flushed all over. He gropes your breasts with care, slyly sliding another hand down lower.

Throughout this entire process, you’ve been soaking; in your underwear, in your shorts, and now on his bathroom tile. Your lower body has been throbbing in desire to be aided, and Harry seems to know just what you need.

His fingers hover right above your mound that’s screaming for him to go lower. Your heart rams against your chest in anticipation of his bare hands on your bare body, on your most sacred and vulnerable parts. No one has ever touched you beside yourself. A small part inside of you was glad that the first person was Harry because you knew you wouldn’t regret it.

Right?

“Stop thinking s’much,” he says, rubbing a warm palm over your belly. His face moves your head, so his lips can kiss your temple reassuringly. You slightly arch your back, so maybe he could see how desperate you are. Your legs were still spread by his, so you know he can see your wetness. If you can see it, so can he. “Just let me show you how it’s done.”

“Okay, Mr. Cocky,” You roll your eyes as he shifts your hair behind your ear, “What if I don’t even like it?”

“The name is very fitting. But that’s for a different day,” he says with a cocky smirk on his face. Now that sounds like something Harry would say. But your entire face gets warm and your head gets a little fuzzy when you actually imagine it. “and you will. Trust me.”

You take a deep breath. You weren’t sure how far you guys were going to go, but you’ve never felt more ready and more safe. With the system Harry told you about and all his reassurance, it was clear that even if he was teaching you, you were the one that had all the control.

“Now watch me.”

With those words his hand turns into just one finger and resumes on your clit. You gasp into the air as your body jolts. The roughness of his thumb paints your arousal over and over on your skin.

“This little thing is important. Don’t neglect it.”

His rhythm is slow and tedious as he circles the nub. You see and feel him dip down to collect some more of your wetness as he continues stroking you.

“How’s this? Color?” he gruffs in your ear while staring at you darkly in the mirror. You could barely understand him because you were panting embarrassingly and trying your hardest to focus on the reflecting glass in front of you.

“Good! Wait—green,” You corrected yourself as a moan elicited from you, his touch feeling even better each second.

“Good girl.”

“Fuck,” You feel yourself clench around nothing but your own wetness at his words. You both watch as the liquid quenches out of your dripping hole, making Harry groan from behind you.

“Do y’think you can handle one finger? Hm?” his voice rolls perfectly into your ear as he twists your peaked nipple. You couldn’t control your moans at the pleasure. His voice sounded just as good as the feeling of his hands.

“Yes, yes. Harry, please,” You nearly cried from how bad you needed it. You didn’t even know you needed it this bad. You thought you were going to hate this feeling, but you’re far from it.

“So submissive, so responsive,” Harry’s middle finger pushes against your hole, teasing the opening. You hold your breath as he makes you wait. “Breathe, Doll. Relax.”

Your eyes close for a moment. You breathe deep and feel your limbs lose their sudden tenseness. Before you can open them again, Harry’s finger is slotting inside of you easily. A gasp falls from your mouth as your hand grips on his meaty thigh for support.

“O-oh.” The feeling was insane. Intense. Nearly overwhelming. You clenched around his digit, consuming and caging it like it would fade away.

You’re so tight around him, he swears his finger might fall off. Harry’s cock is pulsing and pleading behind your back, but you don’t seem to notice. He’s making sure he doesn’t rut into you, but it’s so difficult when you’re all spread out and submissive for him.

He’s never thought of you like this, but fuck, now he can’t think of you any other way.

“Color, Doll?” Harry grumbles in your ear, voice low and breathy as it fans over your skin warmly.

“Green. What’s more than green? B-blue? Just–don’t stop–God,” Your squeaky voice rambled as his finger pumped in and out slowly. You can hear his smile behind your screwed eyes. The pad of his thumb rubbed delicate circles over your throbbing clit to escalate the pleasure.

Your chest was beating fast when your legs started to shake. Your hips bucked closer to his hands, needing more as you chase the glorious feeling.

“Look at you, takin’ me so well,” Harry praises, subtly curling his finger as your back arches. You know that one finger isn’t a lot, barely anything, but you were melting at the praise that Harry gave you. His constant encouragement is what made you putty in his hands. Literally.

“Harry,” You moaned into the heated air, causing Harry to groan desperately behind you. And you’re not too stupid to deflect that Harry might be turned on from the scene unfolding. If you knew more, if you knew better, you would have offered to help him after. But you were inexperienced, and you assumed he wouldn’t want someone to give him head who could possibly bite his dick off.

“Are you close, baby? Hm? Gonna come for the first time on my hand?”

“Y-yes! Please,” You begged as you climbed your high, wondering what the top would feel like if the chase was this blissful.

Your head falls restlessly on his shoulder while his right hand keeps focusing on your cunt. It was covered in your arousal as his pace picked up. The stimulation was almost too much, your body wanted to push away. But your mind was pleading to feel a release you know your body needed.

“Is it gonna h-hurt?” You groaned as your cunt clenched around him again, stomach tensing. A strong rush you assumed could only be an orgasm was approaching you all too fast.

“No, Doll. It’s gonna feel real good,” He twisted your nipple again, pushing you over the edge. You felt his thumb and index pinch your clit, causing you to scream his name against his chest. “Look in the mirror. Watch yourself fall apart f’me. Watch and make sure this time is memorable.”

You always thought Harry had a way with words. You never thought that about dirty talking though. His hands were as skillful as can be, and maybe one day you’ll be able to make yourself feel as good as he made you feel. But his words are something that you’ll never be able to treat yourself with. You don’t think you’ll ever meet another person whose voice is as fitting as Harry’s.

With his demanding tone, you came right over the edge. An overwhelming ripple of pleasure ceased through your body, shaking your legs to the max. Soundless moans and clawing nails were all you were capable of as you came on his large hand. Although you were straining, you never took your eyes off of the mirror. He told you to look at yourself as you came, but you were only staring at the glaring green eyes reflecting back at you. He rubbed all of your orgasm until you were trembling from overstimulation.

Just when you thought he was done, he raised his ringed hand to his mouth and tasted you. You thought that was something that they only did porn or movies. You swallowed intensely as his hum vibrated through you.

“Do you always… taste it?”

“If I think it’ll taste good,” he smirked as you scooted forward to grab your shirt. As you throw it over your head, you just had to ask.

“Did mine taste any good?” You slightly cringed as you asked the question. Does cum usually taste good? What does it even taste like?

His smirk widens, a hint of evilness rising, “do you want to find out?”

Your skin flushes even against the chilling tile. Your heart skips a beat at trying yourself. You hadn’t ever thought of it before. But you’ve come (literally) this far tonight, so why not just take it a little further?

“O-okay,” You slowly lift up your shirt, revealing your fucked-out cunt to him again. “So I just…?”

“May I?” he suggests.

“Yes.”

Two of Harry’s fingers swipe over your cunt, which was still covered in a mix of your arousal and cum. You jolted from the stimulation, tensing quickly before his touch was gone.

“Open,” and without thinking, you do. Your mouth falls open as his fingers lay flat on your tongue. Salty and creamy, it spreads over your tastebuds. You hummed around his fingers just like he did because it tasted good. Yeah, it was a bit odd, but once you got past that, you realized how erotic and sexy it was. “How’s it taste?”

After a bit of suckling on his digits, he puts them out way too soon for your liking. “Good, actually.” You creak from your dry throat.

“I think so too. Let’s clean you up real quick.”

Still sitting on the floor, a warm, wet towel soothes your sensitiveness as he wipes away all of your liquids. A smile broke out on his face when he finished before his hand landed on top of your head. He shook your hair like crazy until it was already wilder than it was. The action was childlike and friendly, almost as if everything between you guys never happened and you were back to square one. It was better that way, though. Right? To just go back to how everything used to be?

Harry grabs the small hand towel and exits his bathroom. You assume he went to discard it and add it to his laundry, but you just sat there in oblivion. You already missed his touch, longing for something you should’ve never even had in the first place. He was the one that offered himself to teach you, but now you’ve been taught, so where do you guys go now? Are you really supposed to just go back to the way it was?

He saw you in ways that no one else has before. You always thought that you would be intimate and have your groups of firsts with someone that you were dating, someone that you loved. Because of this, you realized that Harry was the safe option. Doing this with Harry changed your views on everything, and your body, heart, and mind couldn’t keep up with the rapid reversal.

You knew that Harry had a few notches in his belt. But were they all from relationships or just one-night stands? You didn’t know because you two rarely ever discussed the topic. Was it easy for Harry to go from girl to girl? Or did he get attached like you?

If there was one thing you always feared from sex and sexual doings, it was the intense attachment. You had heard about the infamous addiction intimacy laces within your veins that makes you crave a person. Now that you’ve been with Harry, that won’t happen to you, right?

You’ve known Harry forever, yet you’ve never craved him. He’s your best friend, and you’ve never seen him as more than that. If it was anyone else, you’d probably lose all control because you have no significant relationship with them. It would be easy to latch onto anybody because it would be easy to lose them too. Harry, on the other hand, was not easy to lose.

The last thing you want is to convince yourself of anything. You don’t want to “crave” Harry just because you saw something about an article online about “sexual chemicals fusing.” You couldn’t. No, it was too risky.

You’ve known Harry forever, so you couldn’t lose him forever too.

“I think I found a good movie to watch!” Harry’s voice echoes from his living room and all the way into the bathroom where you haven’t moved a muscle. Your overthinking was louder than it’s ever been. With a shaky breath, you rise from the tiles and stare at your disheveled appearance in the mirror. The same mirror you watched Harry finger fuck you with.

“Be out there in a second!” You shout back as your heart beats rapidly from his heartwarming voice laughing loudly at something. You clutched your chest, wondering why the fuck you were feeling the organ lurch for him in a way that wasn’t meant for him.

You knew that it was way too fucking personal.

—

thanks for reading angels 😙 part 2

taglist: @crybabyddl @tiaamberxx @alwaysclassyeagle @bisexual-desi @littlenatilda @raajali3

[chlorinecake]

NO GUIDANCE | song eunseok oneshot 🧺

▹ PAIRING: softcore boyfriend eunseok x f. reader

▹ SYNOPSIS: Just you enjoying the luxuries of being next door neighbors with your well-endowed boyfie who treats you like a his best friend and a princess at the same time…

▹ WARNINGS: KINKTOBER SPECIAL, swearing, bad humor, kinda fluffy, kissing, SIZE KINK (eunseok is massive), oral (m. receiving), cum play & cum eating, reader has an unnamed little sister, mentions of periods and food, that’s all

▹ WORD COUNT: 2.1k — DAY 6

“Why do you sunbathe in the middle of your front yard like… every single afternoon?” You asked Eunseok upon taking the usual five second walk from your porch to his, only to find him once again in his natural habitat.

“Because,” he begins plainly, already provoking you to roll your eyes at him, “I just find that it always gets your attention…”

Your boyfriend was a strange man, and perhaps that’s what truly captivated you about him…

Slowly, the tall and lanky boy peeled his round eyes open to meet your frame, thankful in his heart for your figure blocking the afternoon sunlight from partially blinding him—

“Why do you carry that children’s book around with you everywhere you go?” Eunseok shot back similarly to your previous offense, and you find yourself taken aback by his question.

Touché, you think to yourself, and a cloud luckily moves in front of the sun now, stopping its bright days from overheating your back.

“I’m actually doing a school project for my little sister,” you started, and he quirked a shocked brow at you as you continued, “she’s still in the hospital, so I figured this I’d the least I could do to help her stay ahead in class …”

“Oh, that’s sweet then… well, not the hospital part, but—”

“I get what you mean,” you giggle in response before joining the space beside him in the grass, “thanks, anyway, though…”

“Don’t mention it,” he yawns briefly while out-stretching his long limbs on the pasture, turning his head to face you with a seemingly plain expression aside from the gentle look in his eyes. “How’s she doing, ____?… Honestly?…”

Your boyfriend’s question makes you fall silent for a moment, but only because you never even thought about the answer to that yourself.

Your sister had been in treatment for longer than you cared to keep count of by now, but at the very least, shehadn’t lost her smile yet; hopefully, a promising sign…

“She’s okay, Eunseok…” you say softly, and he simply nods in response, hoping in his heart that your answer held some integrity.

His gaze leaves your face now as he lets out a relaxed sigh, and without thinking, your index finger starts to trace a line across his hairline.

Then, with a clawed hand, your fingers sink into the threads of his platinum hair, gently scratching at his scalp as if massaging him…

“If you had any clue as to how dirty my hair is right now, you would not be touching me,” Eunseok says, but only as a way to hide his growing smile at the way you gazed down at him… eyes all soft and full of sickening love…

“I’m always touching you, Eunseok,” you say, leaning down to kiss the center of his head, “and it’s not like a little dirt could ever change that…”

Your boyfriend swallowed dryly beneath you, and the moisture that your kiss left on his skin lingers as the focus of his mind for way too long—

“Hey,” you say, and only because he’s getting up on his knees now, flashing you an all-too-telling look while dusting the bits of grass from his clothes, “Eunseok, I literally just sat next to you—”

“And I’m literally already horny,” he interrupts, hair a shaggy mess on his head as he caresses the side of your face before kissing your jaw, “I missed you, darling…”

You gave him a knowing look before asking, “Me or just fucking me?…”

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, only to shrug his shoulders and say, “A bit of both, I guess…”

Standing up completely now, he takes your hand and guides you to his front door step before twisting the golden knob, “I have something to show inside after this, by the way, so don’t let me forget…”

“Noted,” you say sarcastically, and his hand gives yours one last tug before finally pulling you all the way inside the house, closing the door behind you two.

He leads you past his antique kitchen, through the dining room hallway, and up to the storage room right below the staircase.

“Why not your bedroom?” You ask quietly as he shoves you in the room, joining the dark space before locking the door with a key he held in his back jean pocket.

“Because,” he says, like he always did, already getting started on undoing his belt buckle and zipper, “I haven’t cleaned my room in forever and don’t wanna risk having a rat to run over your foot while you’re sucking my dick or something…”

You chuckle at your boyfriend’s words before swatting his hands from the center of his pants, wanting to take the rest of his bottoms off for him.

“You really require no guidance, huh?” Eunseok remarks with a smirk, somewhat impressed by your general aptness to get his clothes off without him even having to ask or direct you…

“Only when it comes to this,” you return, taking a moment to caress his hardening length over the fabric of his boxers first before finally shimmying them down and out the way.

He appears to be a bit shy now as his cock springs up, dangling just a few centimeters from your pretty face.

Though, you know it’s only because he can see everything… typically, Eunseok preferred to have the lights completely off whenever you two were fooling around, but you had been trying to break that timidness in him for a while…

“You okay?” You ask while kneeling before him, caressing the sides of his tense thighs as if to calm him, but he doesn’t answer immediately.

Instead, he responds by cupping the sides of your face with his hands, and they’re so large that they take up all the space at each side of your skull.

It makes you feel small and dainty, reminding you that your big boyfriend was truly a soft and tender guy at heart.

“Just make sure you take your time so you don’t choke, baby,” he finally says, and your stomach flutters at the way his thumbs smooth over your cheek as if his massive cock isn’t dangling in your face right now.

Your lips waste no time in securing themselves around his tip, and your tongue rests at the underside of his shaft as he slowly pumps your head, twitching in your mouth at the delicious warmth you provided.

His eyes flutter shut once he feels pleasure traveling all the way up into his abdomen as he makes your mouth his personal fuck toy, provoking you to dig your nails into his hips slightly… not because he’s going too hard, but because you want him to look you in the eyes as you take him.

Gurgling sounds fill the room as your vision catches sight of the little veins trailing his toned pelvis, and you swear you feel yourself getting wet just from sucking him…

His body had always been a visual feast for you, especially when his facial features were taken over with a look of lust that complemented his beauty perfectly.

You feel like your hands could go on forever as they keep caressing his thighs, the expanse of his limbs extending farther than your arms could ever reach.

“Fuck baby, you’re taking me so well,” he grunts while thrusting his hips into your face, and it doesn’t take long for his hands to leave the side of your head, noticing how eager you were to take over now.

You release your head with a wet smack, jerking the base of his slimy cock as you know you won’t be able to fit it all into your mouth given how hard he was.

Going back in, you manage to deep throat about half of his length, using your palm to stimulate the rest of it…

He’s leaning back against a shelf as you continue to blow him, and he can’t help but throw his head back at the feeling of his tip hitting the gummy pallet of your throat.

“Mmm,” you hum around his cock, and the vibrations make his hips chase his orgasm desperately, thrusting up into your mouth as a bit of spit drips along his balls now, making him feel all dizzy.

“Ahhh~ just like that, baby… ‘m gonna cum,” he mumbles through a whiny grunt, and you speed up the strokes of your hands and the bobbing of your head until you finally feel it; his creamy load bursting in your mouth as his hips stutter before you, twitching from the intense pleasure.

He’s biting his lip so hard that it makes him wince even more, but only because your soft, glistening lips keep pumping him, and the continuous stimulation makes him feel weak in the knees.

“Baby- fuck… n-not too much,” he groans in a deep voice that rumbles all the way to your mouth, and his eyes look so vulnerable to you, even though he’s looking down from so high…

You finally release your mouth from his pulsating cock, a bit of his cum dribbling down the corner of your mouth that he helps you clean up with the tip of his cock before shoving it back into your mouth.

He mutters a praise under his breath that you don’t quite catch over the sounds of your soppy mouth sucking him dry, his large hand stroking over your head again until eventually pulling you away, and leaning down to kiss you… hard…

The two of your tongues intertwine as he whispers, “you’re too good to me, ____,” against your lips, but it doesn’t last for long as he doesn’t wanna get himself hard all over again.

You stand up to meet him where he stood, and he braces you with a hand to your lower back, knowing that your legs likely felt a bit numb from being on your knees for so long.

“Should I…?” He begins, letting his free hand trail from the center of your breasts and down to your core where he presses on your clothed clit with the pad of his two fingers.

You jump a bit at the feeling, knowing deep down that you’d love to have your boyfriend fuck you to tears with just his fingers, but you had to decline his offer for one, small, inconvenient reason:

Your period—

“Maybe another time, Eunseok,” you smile, standing up on tippy toes to kiss the corner of his lips now, and he somehow knew exactly what was going on with you…

“Yea, in about five more days, I’m guessing,” he returns with a smirk, and you playfully smack his shoulder, following in his steps as he leads you out of the storage room and into the kitchen where you both wash your hands.

Sitting at one of the barstools around the counter, he pours you a glass of your favorite tea before sliding it to you barista-style, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him… like you always did…

“You told me not to let you forget, so here’s your reminder,” you say plainly, right before taking a sip from the cup, and it’s like a lightbulb goes off in his head at your words.

“Oh right!” He exclaims, walking over to the kitchen pantry before opening it up to pull out a small woven basket tucked into a clear plastic bag with a bow to keep it closed.

You could hardly make out what was inside the basket until he plopped it on the countertop, letting you take a closer look.

“These are for you,” he begins to say, just as your eyes catch sight of the twenty-some candy bars staring back at you—

“This many?” You ask with widened eyes.

“You didn’t let me finish,” he continues, chuckling a bit at your reaction, “but I meant for you and your sister… I know how much you both like chocolate, and I figured it’d be nice to bring you two a little extra joy during this time…”

“Wow… this is really sweet of you, Eunseok, but… the doctor said she’s not allowed to eat sweets while hospitalized—”

“Just make sure she doesn’t get caught with it, then,” your boyfriend interrupts matter-of-factly, making you stare back at him with a knowing expression. “C’mon, it’s not like chocolate put her in a hospital bed to begin with, so relax… just one little piece and she’ll still be fine, ____… alright?” He asks, but it’s more so of a proclamation than a question.

“Alright,” you agree eventually, right before getting up from your seat to give him a proper hug now…

“What’s this for?” He asks, slowly letting himself wrap his arms around you.

“For everything,” you sigh, holding him a little tighter as the sunlight from outside leaked through the kitchen curtains, “anddd because I’m sure you’ll be a bit upset when you find out that I haven’t told her that we’re dating yet…”

⋆♱✮ Thank you to everyone who made it to the end of this fic, concluding DAY 6 of my Kinktober Event !! If you're interested in reading more works like this, feel free to check out my main enhypen masterlist or my kinktober masterlist by clicking one of these links !!

⋆♱✮ PERMANANT TAGLIST:

@squoxle, @nishiimuranights, @ashgonedash

@yourmomscuntis2tighy, @wonbinisbabygurl

@watamotee33, @addictedtohobi, @ot7sevenlvr

⋆♱✮ KINKTOBER TAGLIST:

@pasteltheghost16 @fawnpeaks @melonvrs

@mheretoreadff @skzfelixlove @inishij

@yaorzu-blog @andromedawillburyyou @ramyeonzprincess

@zaihypen @simjaeyunns @gardenwonnies @hynier

@idontknowhowtomakeusernames @enhymeowz @minhosimthings @stormy1408

@crownj1min @jay-0n3s @gacktsa @leeknowinggg

@d-dilemma @mrsjohnnysuh

[loveharlow]

SEVEN [SEASON 2] - 005 (PART 1)

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[7.3k] Early morning arrests and break ups, one member of the pogues goes rogue and gets into a world of trouble.

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of death, forced drug use, abduction, mentions of physical violence, mention of non-con/sexual assault, disorientation

NOW PLAYING‧₊˚

A/N‧₊˚ Good doesn't come without bad :/ I'M SORRY also THIS CHAPTER IS SM BETTER W THE SONG TRUST ME

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

“BETWEEN YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AND EARLY THIS MORNING, OUR KILDARE COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT CARRIED OUT SEVERAL ARRESTS IN THE MURDER CASES OF SUSAN PETERKIN, GAVIN BARNSTEAD, BIG JOHN ROUTLEDGE, AND OWEN CARTER.” Shoupe’s voice traveled from the small speaker of your phone. You were watching the local news — you, JJ, John B, Pope, and Kiara all sitting out on the pier behind The Chateau. It was still early, the sun just settling in the sky, providing a comforting warmth over the five of you.

JJ was laid outstretched on on the boat, head buried in his arms while Pope stood with his hands in his pockets. Kiara was kicking her feet, sitting on the wood of the dock as you and JB stood side by side, eyes glued to the phone screen as Shoupe continued giving his statement. “...The individuals in custody are our department pathologist Mark Daniels, officer Shane Graves, local attorney Rebecca Reyes, and Rafe Cameron.” Shoupe explained, swallowing harshly. “Unfortunately, our prime suspect, Ward Cameron was the victim of an explosion late yesterday afternoon. The other trials will take place in the following weeks, more updates are to come. Thank you for your time.” And then he was walking away from the podium swiftly, head down as chatter erupted and cameras flashed, the program cutting back to it’s anchor.

You sighed, powering off the phone and sliding it into your back pocket. 

“...He deserved it, right?” JJ asked, lifting his head from his arms and squinting his eyes from the harsh sun.

“Of course he deserved it.” Pope added, sitting down on the boat.”I’ve just...never seen anyone blow themselves up like that.”

“Cross that one off the bucket list.” The blonde shrugged, laying his head back down.

“Dude.” Pope said sternly, shooting JJ a look of warning as Kiara rounded the dock and sat herself next to John B who’d taken a seat inside.

Planting a gentle hand on his back, she spoke to him softly. “Are you okay?”

John B fiddled with his fingers in his lap, biting his lip. “It’s not me I’m worried about.”

POPE WALKED IN JUST AS YOU’D SLIPPED YOUR OTHER SHOE ON AND STOOD FROM THE SOFA, the boy stopping in his tracks.

“Where are you going?” He asked casually, resuming his slow steps plopping himself down on the sofa.

“Hopefully to get my dog back.” You said, patting your pockets to make sure you had everything. With the announcement of Rafe's arrest, you figured it was as good a time as any.

“...And you were just going to leave without telling anyone?” He asked, sitting up straighter, becoming increasingly more concerned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t think JJ would agree with it either-”

“What does he have to do with anything?” You cut him off, your eyebrows set into a straight line.

“C’mon,” Pope sassed, standing from the couch. “It’s literally so obvious. It’s been obvious.” He said cooly. “Like, everyone knew he liked you before but now it’s clear you two have something going on. And you know how he is. He cares about you. A lot. You don’t wanna make him worry, do you?”

You wanted to tell him so badly. You felt like he needed to know why JJ wasn’t a priority right now. But you knew doing it would break Pope’s heart. Pope was in love with Kiara. And he deserved to know the truth, but you telling him out of spite wasn’t the best way to go through it.

“...Look, Pope.” You sighed, letting your shoulders fall. “Me and JJ aren’t on the best terms right now and I don’t want to be around him and I definitely don’t want his help. I know what I’m doing.” You assured, looking the boy in his eyes. “Okay? I’ll be fine, I promise.”

He seemed to sway on his feet, fighting with what to do in his head. “At least let me come with you. You can’t go alone-”

You immediately shook your head, putting your hands in front of you. “No, no. I don’t want you anywhere near Barry or Rafe without at least an army behind you.”

“But what about you?”

“...I’ve dealt with them before.” You affirmed, tensing your jaw.

Pope sighed in defeat, running a hand down his face. “Well, Rafe’s in jail but I doubt he’ll be in there long before he’s bailed out so you should be up against just Barry.” He pondered, turning to you and squinting his eyes. “...Fine. But if I call or text and I don’t get an answer, I’m telling JJ and everyone else. Deal?” He held out his hand.

The amount of care Pope had for your safety was sweet. So sweet it put a small, sheepish smile on your face. Connecting your hand with his, you shook it. “Deal.”

YOU SLOWED IN YOUR STEPS SOME FEET AWAY FROM THE SECLUDED TRAILER, wanting to minimize the chances of Barry seeing or hearing you before you even got to the door. The closer you got, the worse it smelled. You’d almost forgotten how the stench of weed and bonfire smoke stung your nostrils. Or how the overgrown grass scratched at your exposed legs, irritating the skin.

Your eyes immediately spotted a singular, metallic dog bowl — the inside smeared with what looked like canned meat. You felt sorrow and relief all at once. On the bright side, at least Marley was here. Or here at some point.

“Lookin’ for that mutt?” A familiar raspy voice sounded out. You whipped your head to the side to find Barry standing the doorway of his trailer. He startled you for a moment but the fear quickly diminished. After all, Barry rarely ever left the comfort of his trailer. He was dressed in a dirty wifebeater and shorts, his signature smirk plastered on his face.

“Where is she?” You asked, a hard expression on your face.

He simply drew his lips into a thin line, his eyebrows raising as he shrugged carelessly. “I ain’t got a damn clue.” He chuckled, shifting his weight against the frame and licking his lips. “Why don’t you ask Country Club?”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. “He’s in a cell. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. Not alone, anyway.” You explained. “What, you don’t watch the news or something? Figured you’d keep tabs on your partner in crime.”

Barry just stood there smiling. Smiling weirdly. It made your stomach turn. You were never scared of Barry but he never failed to give you the creeps. “Trust me, I keep tabs.” He chuckled, strutting down the small staircase that led up to the door of his trailer. “You shoulda kept your ass away from here, Snoozie.” He told you, waving a finger in your direction, a mischievous expression on his face.

“...What is that supposed to mean?” You asked, pinching your eyebrows together.

“It means…whatever happens now is on you.” He smiled when suddenly, you felt two hands wrap around you and pull you into a body. One arm was on your neck, right under your chin as the other held your torso against the assailants. You could hear breathing in your ear — somewhere between heaving and chuckling as your body froze before trying to fight the person off to no avail.

“Hey, calm down,” You knew that voice.

It was the voice of someone who wasn’t supposed to be here.

“...Get off of me.” You warned, but it came out as more of a weak whisper.

You didn’t think you were afraid of Rafe anymore. But the feeling of his hands on your body, the force he was using to hold you in place, his warm breath against your neck — it all made you feel disgusting.

It made you feel like you were in the back of his truck all over again.

“Yeahhh…I can’t do that.” He laughed, walking you closer to Barry, his grip never loosening. “We’ll let you and your annoying ass dog go but, see, you walked into our domain? Alright, so…that means, we get to have our fun with you, first.” He whispered into your ear.

You watched helplessly as Barry pulled a plastic bag filled with a white, powdery substance from his pocket — scooping a decent amount onto the tip of his pinky before walking closer to you. "This for you and your friends stealin' my fuckin' money."

You began to dry heave, frantically shaking your head from side to side as he lifted the drugs to your nose. You jerked and jumped in Rafe’s hold, trying to do anything to get him to either let you go and disable Barry from drugging you.

“Hold her head still, Rafe.”

“Alright…” The Cameron boy groaned, carefully maneuvering the arm on your neck so that he quickly grasp your jaw, the strong hold causing an immediate ache as he held your head in place. 

“There we go…” Barry drawled on, shoving his pinky so far up your nose that it hurt, triggering you to cough vehemently but ultimately sniff the substance. “Aight, she should be out soon. Take her inside, my neighbors are nosy as shit...”

Rafe released your jaw as you coughed. Your whole chest hurt and your nostrils stung and tingled, the sensation traveling from the bridge of your nose and to your brain — the feeling somewhere in between a migraine and a brain freeze. When your coughing died down, your head began to feel light. As light as a feather on your shoulders. 

Their voices became inaudible in your ears, fading in and out. You tried to fight Rafe once more but you couldn’t feel your arms, or your legs for that matter.

The last thing you remember before the trees turned to blobs was Rafe carrying your body inside the trailer.

WHEN YOU OPENED YOUR EYES AGAIN, you didn’t know how much time had gone by. Minutes, hours…

Everything felt so heavy. Your eyelids were half close as that was as high as you could hold them. Your head rolled on your shoulders, gently swaying from side to side because holding it straight didn’t seem to be in your list of capabilities at the moment. Your lips felt permanently parted, not enough muscle strength to push them together and keep them there.

Looking around slowly, everything had a trail behind it. Everytime you turned, the object in your vision would leave behind a trail, like smeared paint. You didn't even know where you were, in all honesty. The kitchen? You looked up, letting your eyes settle before you realized what you were looking at — your hands. They were tied to a pole. A rack, of sorts.

You couldn’t even feel it. You tugged and tugged, at least you thought you were. But it didn’t look like your hands were moving.

“You awake now?” A voice echoed in your ears. You lowered your gaze to a find a figure in front of you.

Rafe, you concluded once your vision settled. 

You swallowed and you could feel that, a little bit too much. It felt like you were swallowing rocks. What did Barry give you? “...Can you untie me?” You spoke.

“I’m sorry,” Rafe said, his voice sounding weird in your ears. He crouched down in front of you, his eyes boring into yours. He looked so much scarier. “...What was that? You’re mumbling, sunshine.”

You swallowed again, the action causing you to blink harshly - the smear of colors hurting you vision when you opened your eyes again. “...Can you untie me?” You mumbled once more, but you didn’t know you were mumbling. In your ears, you could hear your voice so clear. It was so loud and it echoed, like yelling down an empty hall — every sounded bounced off the walls.

Rafe just stared at you. It looked like he was thinking before he shrugged lightly, shifting closer to you and reaching above your head where your hands were bound. “You’re too weak to go anywhere anyway…can’t do anything…might as well.”

You felt your arms float to the floor as Rafe held the rope in his hands, examining it before tossing it to the side. His gaze returned to you, analyzing your face as if he’d never seen it before. His blue scanned over you in your entirety, drinking you in with his eyes. It felt like he was staring straight into your soul, taking every part of it for himself. He was your focal point, everything else behind him fading into a mess of colors. 

Even in your altered state of consciousness, your body still found the strength to flinch when his hand reached out to touch your face, his fingers leaving a fiery trail in their wake. “...You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He whispered, his voice sounding ghostly in your ears. “I just want you to let me love you. And you won’t…” His words made you ill. So ill that you were sure that your stomach audibly turned. “I never…meant to hurt you. But you just made it so hard.”

You could see the tears welling in his eyes and the redness blooming on his nose. He was…crying. Or trying not to. You couldn’t clearly tell. “And then you told everyone that I..raped you.” He choked out, threading his fingers through your hair as you tried to move away from his touch, the sound of his digits scraping against your roots making your body recoil. “We both wanted it. You were just too ashamed to admit it. You thought it was wrong, that we were wrong. You were fighting me, I'll admit…but you wanted it.”

You shook your head, bile rising in your throat. “...Didn’t.” You choked out, throwing your head back against the wall. “I didn’t…want it.” You breathed. “And I…don’t…love you.” You struggled to form fluent sentences, your words slurring in on each other even with the long pauses in between nearly each word. “You and your family…took everything f-...from me.” Talking was as hard as hiking up the steepest hill in the world. “I just want my dog back. Can’t you j-...just give her to me?”

“Jesus- forget the fucking dog!” Rafe screamed, kicking a nearby object. You couldn’t see what it was. His hands gripped his hair at the roots, the boy pacing back and forth in front of you before crouching down in front of you once more, closer this time. “This is about us — me and you. I am in love with you. So, why is it…that you can’t love me back? You led me on. You made me like this-”

“No, I didn’t.” You cried, head thrown back as you looked up at the ceiling, tears running from your eyes, the droplets tickling your cheeks. “You made…me like this.” You said tearfully, a cough following the statement. “I was fifteen. I didn’t know…any better. But you did.” You wailed, lowering your head to look at him, although your head still swayed. “And when I did…know better, you didn’t w-want to let me go. And it doesn’t even matter…” You almost laughed through your tears. “Because your dad…ruined my life months before we even met.”

Rafe was quick to wrap his hand around your neck after that, squeezing harshly. He edged his face closer to yours, the tips of his hair tickling your forehead as stars invaded your vision, or what remained of it. “My dad? Did what he had to do. Alright? He’s not a monster.”

“...Neither was mine.” You croaked out. Rafe looked between your eyes with an expression you couldn’t place. Sadness? Anger? Whatever it was, he felt enough of it to release his grip, you taking the biggest gulp of air possible, your hair falling in front of your face as you held it down weakly.

He stood up from his crouching position in front of you. You heard him pace around once more as you caught your breath, each intake feeling like you were breathing in the coldest air ever, before you cried out in pain, the sound hurting your ears. Rafe had grabbed a fistful of your hair, using it to pull you up, but you could barely stand so the angry boy used his other hand to grip your upper arm for support. Using the hold he had on you, he drug your limp frame into the small living area, throwing you onto Barry’s tattered sofa.

…Where was Barry?

You landed on your side, rolling over onto your back. The whole room was spinning again, the quickness of his actions not allowing your brain to catch up with the swift movements. “I try to do the right thing and no one ever cares. My dad and Sarah, even Rose…they blame me for everything.” He ranted and rambled, his hands balled into fists by his sides as he looked down at you. “I thought you were different.” He said through labored breaths. Him standing above you, face red and furious, you would've sworn he was the devil himself. “But you’re just as bad as the rest of them. But I can change that…” He nodded, climbing on top of you, straddling your motionless body.

All you could do was look at him through the strands of hair that cloud your vision. You let out a ‘hmph’ as he let his weight rest on your thighs. “I can’t change their minds. I can’t fix them.” He said, his hands trailing the hem of your bottoms before unbuttoning them. “...But I can fix you.” He breathed, his tongue peeking out from between his lips as he nodded to himself. “I can make you love me.”

Before you knew it, the sound of him dragging the zipper of your fly rang out in your ears - the familiar situation triggering a series of images to flash in your mind. Images of the first time. You felt the puddles of hot tears leaving your eyes as your throat ached to say something. “Please, stop…” You cried, throwing your head side to side as your weak hands tried to push his away. “Please, don’t do this again.” You stuttered, your nimble fingers clawing at his knuckles as he struggled to drag your bottoms down your legs.

You felt like God himself came down from Heaven when a harsh light filled the trailer, the door of the mobile home opening as Barry entered, taking in the scene in front of him. You quickly registered that it was actually moonlight blinding you so viciously, the brightness fading behind Barry’s figure to reveal the eerie darkness outside.

How long had you been here?

“Aye, what the fuck? Rafe!” Barry said disgusted, slamming the door shut behind him. “Get the fuck off her, man. Don’t do that shit in my crib.” He told him, throwing a hand out in his direction. Rafe sighed, getting off of you and aggressively dragging your pants back up your legs, but he didn’t bother to button them back. You laid on the couch, sobbing silently. You didn’t know if it was out of fear or relief. “That’s why yo ass put me on paw patrol? So you could fuck the doped up girl in my damn house?”

Rafe made a face of annoyance, rolling his eyes at the drug dealer’s words. “Did you do it?”

“Uh, yeah, I did it, dumbass.” Barry said, voice full of attitude. “I just let her go in the backyard, it sounded like they were all inside. I saw one of the dudes come out and take her inside before I dipped.” He explained, grabbing a half-drunken beer from his cluttered coffee table. “Why you have me take the dog back if she still here? Y’know they gon come lookin’ for her eventually…” He threw out, the rim of the beer bottle touching his lips before he took a big sip.

“Just had to leave a little hint behind.” Rafe told Barry, sitting on the couch next to your feet as you turned to your side, groaning. He made a line out of the loose coke on the coffee table before quickly snorting it. A large exhale leaving his lungs as he let it pass through him. “It’s fun to fuck with ‘em, dude.”

“I ain’t with these games and shit.” Barry complained, walking to the back of his trailer. You were still laid out on the couch, sobbing silently. “If they come by here and fuck up my shit, it’s comin’ outta your pocket, Country Club.” He said. “And give her another hit!” He called from the back. “All that cryin’ and shit is givin’ me a headache. Damn…”

Rafe rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath before searching around the table before picking up the plastic bag Barry had before. You figured whatever they were putting you out with wasn’t cocaine. And that’s what scared you the most when Rafe snatched you up and shoved another pinky-full up your nose, letting your drowsy frame fall back into the plushness of the sofa.

“JJ…BACK IN THE VAN!” What sounded like John B’s voice filled your ears. Your eyes cracked open little by little, your vision much more clear and less distorted than the last time you recall waking up. So many voices were speaking at once. Your eyes wandered, trying to find out who was talking to who. It was then you realized the entire world was sideways and you were inside of The Twinkie.

Your head was slightly more elevated than the rest of your body, causing you to turn and peer above you where you found Sarah’s wide eyes staring down at you, finally registering the feeling on her fingers running through your hair. Her eyes were slightly red and glossed over as she peered down at you.

You felt more conscious this time around — no paint smears, no muffled voices, and you felt like you had more control over your body. You were cold, so cold. Probably shivering.

Looking over, you found that the door of the van was open. You could see a group of people crowded in on each other. When your vision focused, you realized it your four other friends and they were surrounding Rafe and Barry.

“What is wrong with you?!” That was Kie’s voice. And you knew her well enough to hear the anger in voice. “What the hell do you want, huh? You should be in jail, you sick motherfucker!”  It wasn’t long before the guys pushed her to the back of the circle, the girl yelling at Rafe through the blockade they’d formed in front of her.

“You Kooks think you can do whatever the fuck you want!” JJ shouted, his voice deeper than you’d ever heard it before. It was almost unrecognizable. “You wanna end up like your father? ‘Cause we can make it happen!-”

“The fuck’d you just say to me, you little shit?” Rafe countered, stepping closer to JJ as John B and Pope stepped closer to him.

“You heard me, bitch.” JJ spat, the small accent he had showing itself as he pushed his way through his two friends to stand toe-to-toe with Rafe.

“All y’all needa get the fuck off my property.” Barry added, standing beside Rafe, but his words went ignored.

“If you wanna do this, we can do it. ‘Cause I’ve been waiting to get my fuckin’ hands on you.” JJ warned. “You like to drug girls? Rape them? Hit them? Hit me. Hit me, you pussy-” Just then, Rafe clocked JJ in his jaw, the force and sound of the assault causing you to flinch in Sarah’s lap as John B and Pope caught their friend, Kie gasping behind them. You tried to sit up as you watched JJ’s head whip to the side, but Sarah was quick to force your weak frame back down.

You looked up at her with wide, glassy eyes. “Rafe’s gonna hurt him.” You said weakly, sounding like a scared child.

The blonde girl simply shook her head side to side. “I don’t think so.” She smiled weakly before looking back out at the brawl unfolding outside of the vehicle. “Not this time.”

Your own eyes refocused on the two guys just as JJ recovered from the blow, wasting no time in lunging at Rafe and sending the boy to the ground, allowing himself to deliver blow after blow. You couldn’t tell if he was landing them, you could only see one arm go up after the other, his fists coming down in a vicious frenzy. 

Kiara was calling JJ’s name as Barry shook his head and backed up,n John B and Pope watching with their hands up. “Y’all gon’ have the cops pokin’ around here...” Barry said angrily, eyes on John B and Pope who stood by helplessly, shocked. “Get this shit under control, I don’t need them people on my radar!” The drug dealer urged, the commotion sure to disturb any nearby trailer owners.

John B and Pope looked at each other before John B peered back at you, an expression of sadness in his eyes.

Oh. You forgot…he didn’t know. 

So, it wasn’t long before that sadness turned to anger as he turned back to Barry. “...We’ll leave when he’s done.” John B spat, referring to the two boys brawling in the grass before walking away and rounding the vehicle to get in the driver’s seat, Pope and Kie following and climbing into the back of the van quickly. Without those three blocking your field of view, you could clearly see the two boys now.

Rafe had managed to pick himself up but surprisingly, JJ still had the upper hand. But it was still a brutal brawl between the two, one not staying on top for long before being pinned by the other. Every few seconds, you could spot droplets of blood flying. It was an odd thing — on one hand, seeing Rafe get his ass handed to him almost put a dizzy smile on your face, but on the other hand, you knew he’d never stop coming after JJ now. Any chance he got...

Especially since now he probably got the hint that JJ had some sort of feelings for you. JJ didn’t come after him like a concerned friend, JJ lunged at him like a enraged boyfriend. JJ attacked him like someone who was in love with you. And after what Rafe said in the trailer, or at least what you remember of it, these two would be butting heads over a lot more than financial status.

When the blaring of sirens hit your ears, you perked up, as well as everyone else. But Rafe and JJ were too enthralled with trying to kill each other that they must not have heard anything. 

The pogues began calling JJ’s name, trying to draw him out of his rage-induced assault to get back in the van. After a few moments, he finally registered their voices and the sound of the sirens. He forcefully pulled himself away from Rafe as the boy laid on the grass, heaving. JJ delivered one last glare to the boy on the ground, the blonde’s chest going up and down heavily as he turned and threw himself into the van.

“And don’t come ‘round here no more, you hear me?!” Barry’s voice traveled before Pope slammed the door shut, John B speeding off.

Your eyes were trained on JJ’s breathing figure — he had a small trail of blood going from his bottom lip to his chin, dirt on his shirt and in his hair, and his eyebrows were set into a permanent frown. You managed to meet his eyes for a second and he looked upset. 

Upset with you?

KIARA AND SARAH HELPED YOU INSIDE THE CHATEAU AS THE GUYS HELD THE DOORS OPEN. What you didn’t expect was for Marley to come charging at you the second you stepped foot in the house. The girls let you go gently, allowing you to crouch down on your knees and embrace your dog.

She smelled like wet dirt and you could feel the outline of her ribcage as you rubbed her sides. Tears gathered in your eyes as you and Marley comforted each other. Your voice was still weak and scratchy as you spoke softly to the animal. If anything, after today, you should be grateful she was still alive.

“Hey,” John B spoke up, your eyes going to him. “We can hose her down in the backyard while you wash off.”

You drew your lips into a thin line, nodding your head in his direction as you stood up on shaky legs, Kie and Sarah putting a hand each on your back. He and Pope led Marley outside, JJ lagging behind. “JJ.” You called out. The blonde simply looked at you over his shoulder, chewing the inside of his lip before making his way outside with the other two guys.

Your shoulders fell at his cold demeanor. You guessed he was upset with you.

“It’s okay…” Sarah reassured, her hand rubbing your back as you frowned into the distance. “He just needs a second.” She told you, turning you in the direction of the bathroom, helping you walk alongside Kie who hadn't said much. “C’mon. We’ll help you get yourself together…”

WHEN YOU CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM, the house was empty. The only living things inside being a sleeping Marley and you. She looked a lot cleaner, aside from the food remnants around her mouth. You smiled smally to yourself, admiring the animal for a moments before walking over to her, crouching down and placing a light kiss on the top of her head. She was so deep asleep that she didn’t stir, even a little.

You almost passed out a handful of times in the shower, the steam only contributing to the lightheadedness you felt but easing the neverending ache in your arms and legs. But you felt better — less disoriented. Less…gross.

You were dressed in one of JJ’s few sweatshirts and a pair of pajama shorts. All the time the two of you’d spent living together meant some of your clothes were still mixed in with one another’s. Your hair was slightly damp, the strands pulled back into a low bun to keep it out of your face. 

Even though you felt more sober, you still felt like you were walking outside of your body and it was making you a bit nauseous. You spotted a bottle of aspirin on the kitchen counter, snatching it up and swallowing two pills.

Just then, you heard voices outside — low and faint, but there. You peered out of the small window in the kitchen , spotting John B and Pope laid out on the HMS Pogue. Everyone must’ve gone outside, you thought to yourself.

You slipped out the backdoor, bare feet on the grass as you walked in the direction of the two guys.

“What’re you two talking about?” Your voice was still off and scratchy but you were grateful that you could hear yourself talking. The two males turned to you, making out your figure in the dark of night as you squeezed into between them on the boat.

“How’re you feeling?” Pope was the first to ask, genuine concern swimming in his eyes.

You sent him a small smile. “Better.” You nodded. “...And I’m sorry. For putting you in a weird position, before I left. I shouldn’t have done that-”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He shook his head, patting your shoulder. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

You mumbled a ‘thanks’ to the boy, patting the hand on your shoulder as he slid it off as you turned to John B who was already looking at you. You knew him the best out of all your friends. That’s why you could tell he was going from upset with you to sad all at once.

“Just say it.” You sighed, giving him the floor.

“...Why didn’t you tell me?”  He asked, squinting his eyes. “You’re like my sister. And not to sound weird but I love you, dude. I would’ve killed Rafe-”

“That’s why.” You cut him off, a pitiful frown on your face. “I didn’t need you doing anything stupid in my defense. And you were still torn up over your dad. We both were.”

He just huffed, turning away from you and shaking his head side to side as he crossed his arms. “...You still should’ve told me.”

“I know.” You nodded, sighing and sliding down to lay fully down next to your two friends. “Where is everyone?”

“Well, Kiara is out front doing…whatever. JJ has been pacing in the Surf Shack for like an hour, and Sarah...left.” He hesitated at the end of his statement, eyeing John B who just sighed deeply. You looked between them both, eyes stopping on John B.

“What happened?” You asked.

“We, uh…we broke up.”

“What?” You asked, shocked. “Why?”

“...She wasn’t the biggest fan of how I react to Ward blowing himself up.” He explained, shifting in his spot. “She said I looked glad. And I didn’t want to lie to her and say I wasn’t. Because I was.”

“I mean, I get it.” You threw out, looking up at the stars in the sky. “He killed your dad. He killed a lot of people…I think it’s okay to be glad he’s dead. But I also get her side. He was her dad. But she can’t expect you to feel the same.”

“Exactly what I said.” Pope chipped in. “How sad can you expect someone to be when their father’s murderer dies and they get to see it?”

“I don’t think it was that, though.” John B spoke up, his brows pinched. “She said that out of all people, she thought that I’d understand what it’s like to lose a dad. And I do and I feel like a dick for not comforting her in that moment and giving Topper the opportunity to swoop in but…I feel like she didn’t even give me a chance to be there for her.”

“...Love is five minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of pain.” Pope said sadly, you and John B turning to him silently with wide eyes. The boy turned to the both of you, the same expression plastered on his face.

“Okay…” John B groaned, sitting up from his position and leaning on his arm.. “You and Kie, talk to me. What’s goin’ on?”

“Well…” Pope said, sitting up as well as you just looked up at the two guys. “She wants to be just friends.”

John B and you sighed simultaneously. “Whooo, death blow.” JB said to him. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s not like I can say I didn’t see it coming. After what happened in Charleston…” Pope was explaining before he cut himself off, his wide eyes darting to you as he pressed his lips shut. But John B’s curiosity was peaked, and so was yours.

“What happened in Charleston?” The brunette boy asked, looking between the two of you. 

Pope’s mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air. You cocked an eyebrow, sitting up on your own elbow now. “So you did see it?”

Now he was the one looking confused, using his finger to point at you. “You saw it? I thought you were inside-”

“I was but I had just walked out when I saw them.”

“So, we both saw it?”

“Helloooo.” John B butted in, the two of you looking at him. “Third party is still here. Saw what?”

“The kiss.” You and Pope said at the same time, looking at him.

“Kiss? What kiss? Who kissed?” He asked, genuinely baffled.

“Kie and JJ.” The both of you said in sync again.

John B’s jaw dropped as he stuttered to find words. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding JJ?” He settled on his question, eyes on you.

“Yes…” You said squinting your eyes. “What would you know about that, though?” You asked, wondering when JB got the inside scoop on you and JJ’s newfound relationship.

“I mean, everyone could see he had a thing for you. For a looong time. Well, everyone but you…”

“Thank you.” Pope butted in, throwing his hands up in surrender when you shot him a glare. “I’m just saying, I wasn’t the only one who saw it.”

“And he kind of told me everything that happened while me and Sarah were gone.” John B smirked as you groaned. “But we’re getting off topic…” He waved his hands, dismissing the previous statements.

“Right.” Pope refocused. “I never said anything about the kiss to her or him. I just kind of hoped it was a spur of the moment thing and that it would just remain as that — a kiss. But then, she friendzoned me. And now I can’t help but think that she likes JJ. And I don’t know if JJ likes her, no offense Y/N...”

“He told me he doesn’t.” You butted in. “The day we got that call about what happened to your pops, we had an argument about it. He said that Kie initiated the kiss and it didn’t mean anything. To him, at least. I don’t know how much of it I believe but," You cut yourself off, shrugging. "And I can’t speak for Kiara…”

“Okay, here’s some not-so-friendly advice for the both of you from good ole Dr. Routledge,” John B piped up, a bright smile on his face. “You,” He pointed a Pope. “focus on your yourself and your books and…grades and shit. Forget about Kie, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. And you, Pope, are one handsome young man and I guarantee there is some girl out there willing to jump your bones and not kiss one of your best friends. And, you, little missy,” His attention turned to you. “If JJ says he doesn’t have feelings for her and the kiss didn’t mean anything, I’d believe him. He loves you and I don’t think he would do anything to purposefully screw up his chance with you. And please, for the love of God, be nice and talk to him. Hearing him whine about you not talking to him is going to drive me off a cliff.”

The three of you laughed before you turned to Pope, a light smile on your face. “So, you really just weren’t going to tell me?” You asked in faux-offense.

Pope faked shock, a hand on his chest. “Uh, me? I didn’t even know you and JJ had something going then. If anything, you should’ve been the one to tell me.”

“I didn’t want to upset you!” You laughed and groaned all at once.

“Yeah, yeah…” He waved you off lightheartedly. “Alright, next time we see something that would…affect the other person, we have to tell. Deal?” He asked, holding out his pinky.

“Ohhh, okay. We’ll be each others witnesses. I like this two person witness protection program.” You smiled, connecting your pinky with Pope’s. “Deal.”

YOU WERE IN THE GUEST ROOM WHEN THE DOOR CREAKED OPEN, a stream of light illuminating the dimly lit space — the only source of light being a bedside lamp. You thought everyone had gone to sleep.

Turning at the sound of the door, you found JJ closing the entryway behind him before he turned to you. You could hardly see his features, not enough light to see his face clearly. Neither of you said anything as he walked slowly towards you, walking around the bed. 

He stopped in front of you, just inches between the both of you. Nothing was to be heard except your breathing and the cicadas outside.

“...What’s wrong with you?” He asked. His voice sounded strained, like he’d been crying. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

You nodded, accepting his frustration towards you. Swallowing, you attempted to reply.  “...I didn’t think-”

“Yeah, you didn’t think.” JJ cut you off. “You left without telling anyone. You went there alone. Why would you do that?”

“He wasn’t supposed to be there-”

“Anything could’ve happened to you. Anything.” JJ reprimanded, shifting closer to you subconsciously. “Do you know what is was like to hear, from Pope, that’d you left to go to Barry’s trailer hours ago? That you hadn’t answered any of his calls or texts that you said you’d answer? To ride all the way there with my heart beating out of my damn chest just to rush in and find you passed out on the couch with the your pants unbuttoned, confirming every single fear-”

“Nothing happened-”

“But something could have!” He lost himself, looking around as if someone heard as he licked his lips, one tear rolling down his cheek. “He tried to, clearly, and something could have.” He sighed, letting himself sit on the edge of the guest room bed, his head in his hands. “...You didn’t even know who I was when we woke you up the first time to put you in the van. You didn’t recognize any of us. You were completely out of it. I've never seen anyone like that...” He told you. You don’t recall waking up more than twice. Voices and colors here and there but…not much. “I know…that you think I took your trust and feelings and ran with them. But you can’t do things like that.” He said firmly, lifting his head to look at you. “I’m not blaming you. I just want you to understand that even if you’re mad at me or whoever, you can’t just abandon ship. Especially, not like that.”

He told you, reaching his hands out to grab your waist and pull you closer as you sniffled. You felt almost completely sober as you stood between his legs, the aspirin you took earlier taking effect.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his teary blue eyes boring into yours as he looked up at you. You bit your lip from the inside of your mouth as you nodded. “Okay…good.” He sighed, letting his head fall in relief before looking at you again. “I know the last few days have been…hard. Especially today. And I’m sorry that I put you in a place where you couldn’t even trust me as a friend anymore. But I don’t know how else to tell you or show you that I love you. And today just made me realize how badly I need you and how far I’m willing to go for you.” He said softly. “...There were so many reasons I didn’t tell you about the kiss. For one, it didn’t mean anything to me. Also the fact that I didn’t want to cause drama between you and Kie. But none of that matters because there was only one reason that I should’ve told you — because you deserved to know and because I promised I would. So, I am really sorry.” 

You'd never heard JJ be this vulnerable and open. Or be so vulnerable and open this easily. It didn't seem practiced or rehearsed. It was like he was really letting his heart speak for him and right all his wrongs.

After what happened today, holding a grudge wasn't as appealing. Because you didn't know what could happen tomorrow.

“...I believe you. And I forgive you.” You said, eyes locked on his. “And I’m sorry, too. If I had told you guys where I was going then maybe-”

“Don’t even go there.” He stopped you, shaking his head. “Rafe is insane. What he and that fucking loser, Barry, did wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have gone there alone, sure, but what happened wasn’t your fault.”

You just sent him a half-hearted smile. You know he meant it but you still felt at least partially to blame. You licked your lips and took a deep breath before speaking, your hands rubbing up and down the blonde’s exposed arms. “JJ…” You spoke, more like whispered.

Something in the way you looked at him changed. Something in the way you felt for him changed. “...I want you.” You felt the boy tense in your arms, lifting his head up more to look you directly in the eyes. “I don’t need any more time. I know what I want and I know how I feel. I love you. And I want you.”

“...Are you sure? Because you just went through something really terrible tonight-”

“I’m sure.” You interrupted him. “If I keep waiting until nothing bad happens to be with you, then we’ll never be together. This is our lives now. And even if we didn’t have all this death and drama around us, I would still love you.” You reassured, trailing your hands up to his shoulders as his soothed themselves up and down your waist. “You said you were all mine. So, now I’m all yours, if you want me…”

He had a look on his face that you couldn’t decipher. His eyes looked at each of yours and then landed on your lips, seeming to trace them before pulling you down into him and colliding his lips with yours. A small noise of surprise leaving your lips before you melted into the exchange. Your hands slid around the nape of his neck as his trailed the length of your thighs, helping you onto his lap.

His fingers pressed into your skin, passionately dragging his prints into your skin as your nails scraped at the skin of his scalp and shoulders. The kiss wasn’t like the ones before. Those were soft and gentle, testing the waters. This kiss was hungry and prolonged — feverish. So starved of each other that it probably would’ve had the potential to lead to something else if the day had gone differently.

But knowing JJ, after what happened tonight, any kind of sex was off the table. Ad you weren't sure when you'd be ready to go that far. But this was good enough. More than good enough. There wasn’t a single part of either of you that wasn’t touching. You couldn’t help but sigh when his warm hand went up under your shirt, his fingers clawing at your back as he pressed you endlessly closer against him. 

You were confused when he pulled back — lips swollen and red as his hair stuck up in one-hundred different directions. He was breathing heavy when he spoke. “Sorry, sorry…” He said through labored breaths. “Just to be clear, you are my girlfriend, right-”

You couldn’t help but laugh and roll your eyes. “Yes, JJ, I’m your girlfriend.” You smiled. “I’m completely yours.” You sighed, eyeing his lips like an animal before connecting your lips with his once more, the both of you falling back into the mattress.

next chapter>

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

SVN Taglist; @esquivelbianca @fallingwallsh @calmoistorm @i-love-ptv @rafxcameronss @ldrvinyl @purplerose291 @heartsforandrewgarfield @coolgirl458 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @jujubeaz @ellobruv-blog @libertyybellls @c4ttheart @ihe4rttwd @redhead1180 @ditzyzombiesblog @spideysimpossiblegirl @sex-me-stiles @honeyiti @rafedrewandjjs @highformaybank @broidfk609 @sophiahristov @boo22sstuff @yourmumstoy @belle101200 @maybankskiss @starrsea @avengersgirllorianna @sekidekiboombeki @wearemadeofstardust0 @supercxnt @ifilwtmfc @maybankslover @walkinginthegalaxy @rivaiken @liability28 @highformaybank

(striked means i am unable to tag you, please check your settings to see if you have mentions restricted or disabled xo)

©loveharlow.

lmk if the taglist works now! xo

[superblysubpar]

<- part seven | part nine -> | series masterlist

chapter summary: Was it real?

the song: we can’t be friends by Ariana Grande

also for your listening pleasure: Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper, One More Night by Phil Collins, Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Whitney Houston, Who's Crying Now by Journey, I Ran (So Far Away) by A Flock of Seagulls, What About Love? by Heart, and Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon

5,839 words | please see masterlist for gen warnings / brief descriptions of scars-previous head injury, new injuries & blood / mentions of getting high, but not reader / douchery to the highest order in the form of Brendan - he ignores boundaries, doesn’t listen, and a physical fight ensues - I made it as brief and nondescript as possible, but take care of yourself and do not read if you find it could be triggering (I’ve marked the scene with Brendan between red lines, and all you’d need to know is Steve saves the day) | my blog is 18+

Somewhere near Cornwallis Street - Sunday

  The screech of metal on metal continuing to alert you of his presence only makes your feet pick up their pace on the grass, pavement of the sidewalk too hot for your bare soles. 

  “Sweetheart, just get in the van. You’re wearing out my brakes, here.”

  Eddie’s been trailing behind you for five minutes, calling out the open window to get you to look at him. 

  “You know,” he calls, pausing at the stop sign as you look at the empty intersection and begin to jog across hot tar, “You’re being a brat!”

  “Excuse me?!” 

  Your foot twitches to stomp, like the thing he just called you, while fighting the urge to look at him as you continue down the neighborhood’s street. 

  “You heard me! Get in the fucking car. You gonna walk all the way across town without shoes on?”

  “Yes!” 

  “Really?” He scoffs, “Okay. What happens when you get there and you’ve got no keys?”

  Your feet slow, but you call out confidently, “I have a spare hidden.”

  “Fucking stubborn,” he mumbles as he brakes and puts the car in park and hops out. 

  Eddie rounds the hood of his car, sneakers untied and black swim trunks dripping wet still, hair pulled into a low bun with curls falling out around his face. He glares at you with hands on his hips.

  “Get. In. The. Car.”

  “No!” 

  You do stomp your foot that time, and then make a break for it, a full out sprint to get around him. 

  It’s childish, is what it is. There’s no other way to describe the way you try to run away from him, literally, or the way he snakes his arms around you, shouting about what the hell your actual problem is. No other way to describe the way you swat at a hard chest doing absolutely nothing as tears start rolling down your cheeks again and you yell the word asshole at him. 

  “Me?! I’m the asshole?” Eddie’s fingers circle your wrists, stopping your useless attack. His brown eyes blink at you, “For what? For-“

  “For lying to me, Eddie!” You shout it around a sob, knowing you’re leaning towards ugly snotting crying territory quickly. Your vision blurs as you keep going, “You manipulated me for Harrington. For some extra cash. For…for what?” Lips spitting words out around salty tears, “You started this whole fucking bet and-and you let him…why’d you do this? Why’d you-“

  “Because hello!” Eddie shouts, letting your arms go and holding his out wide, “Breaking news to literally only you because the entire fucking planet can see it: You’re totally in love with the guy!”

  “I’m no-“

  “You are,” Eddie cuts you off, eyes soft but jaw hard. “And you were never gonna give him a chance without our help because, aside from him,” Eddie laughs and gestures down the road behind you, “You’re the most stubborn person on earth. You both set your sights on something and you won’t budge till you get it. And you…yours were set on hating his guts.”

  Your hand swipes at your cheeks as you look away from him, refusing to admit he’s right and Eddie shakes his head, speaking softly now. 

“And I don’t think you told yourself you were gonna hate Steve Harrington forever because of some moment when you were twelve. I think you decided you were gonna hate him, so there was never any chance the opposite could be true. Because if you hate him, you could never love him. And if you never love him, you can’t get hurt.”

  A sob cracks your chest, head hung as tears fall and darken the pavement burning your feet. It only takes three drops for Eddie’s arms to wrap around you and five for you to wrap yours around him. He waits until his white cut off tee is plastered to his chest but no longer getting freshly damp to run a palm up and down your back and kiss the top of your head. 

  “Want some pie?”

  Eddie makes a disgusted scoff as you swipe your nose on his shirt and then look down at your bare feet.

  “Can we stop and get my shoes?”

  He smiles, head nodding towards the van still idling next to you. 

  “Would Prince Charming show up at Cinderella’s doorstep without the glass slipper?”

  Your eyes roll as Eddie walks you over to the van, helping you in as you pick up the shoes in the wheel well. 

  Eddie closes the door, face twisted in hesitation before he taps the open window frame and clears his throat.

“To be clear, so I don’t get accused of manipulating and lying again,” he raises his eyebrows at you and you duck your head as he softly tacks on, “I’m not Prince Charming in this scenario.” He nods at the shoes in your lap, “Before I could even think to follow you, Harrington was shoving those at my chest and telling me to.”

  Your chin wobbles, lip quivering as you sniff and ward off a fresh wave of tears. 

  It doesn’t matter who brought them, not really. Because all that does matter is the fact that they’re here and you want to put them on and keep running. 

  Away from your arguably skewed view of the past. Away from this street and that house and the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands on your body, the ache in your stomach and chest that you worry won’t ever go away.

  Run far, so far that Eddie’s words can’t ever catch up and make you face them head on - admit the truth behind them. 

  All you can think about doing is running away from Steve Harrington, because that’s all you’ve ever done, but now, now there’s a small new thread. 

  A thread like the one in your skirt a week ago that you wonder if you keep pulling, you’ll find where it starts. 

  A thread that runs parallel to the feeling of needing to run away from him. One that makes you pick and pull and wonder:

  If you keep running from him, will Steve ever give up trying to catch you? And if you stopped running, what happens when he does? 

  What happens when the chase is over?

Hawkins, Indiana - Monday A.B. (After Bet)

  You’re not proud of it, on Monday morning when you call Keith and tell him you can’t come in, lying about being sick. 

  The feeling in your stomach as you move a shirt, a sweatshirt, and pajama pants to your dryer later that day makes you wonder if you were really lying though. 

  Rain tapping against your windows and the glow of the TV screen lull you to sleep on your couch. 

  You don’t dream about Steve Harrington. 

  And when a crack of thunder jolts you awake right when he’s not about to kiss you, you decide you’ll never watch a movie with Harrison Ford in it again. 

Hawkins, Indiana - Tuesday A.B.

  Your hand smacks the buttons of your radio as Cyndi Lauper’s voice croons out of the speakers, ironically the dark storm clouds from last night are fading to gray this morning as you drive to work. 

  Fingers rub soothing circles into your temple while the warm summer breeze blows through your open windows, placating you into calm energy until the radio lands on it’s next station. 

  “But if you change your mind, you know that I’ll be here. And maybe we both can learn…”

  As you roll to a stop at a red light, you blink at your radio with a clenched jaw as Phil laments about getting one more night. Thankfully, the song is almost over, so when the light turns green, your shoulders roll back as your wheels go forward again. 

  But it seems the universe is out to get you, and soon Whitney’s voice is prying your already cracked chest open, voice filling every vulnerable nook and cranny it can find in your body.

  “Nope!” You tell your radio, the universe, while your hands frantically grab for a mix out of your cupholder and shove it into the dash as you make the last turn onto Family Video’s street. 

  And if the Journey song isn’t enough to make you fall, as you turn into the parking lot, the sight of Steve is.

  He looks up at the sound of your music and you quickly slam it off, able to feel the tiny people going to work inside your chest, shouting orders about reinforcements around your heart with the wall back standing. 

  Steve’s car is backed into a space, and he sits on the hood of it. He holds a to go coffee cup and a brown paper bag that he grips tighter as you get out of your car and walk past without looking at him.

  “Honey-“

  “Don’t.” 

  He says your name, feet scrambling behind you until you slow to a stop.

“That was a shitty way for me to tell you, I didn’t mean to make it sound like we were all…conspiring against-“

  “But you were,” you interrupt, spinning to face him in a grave mistake. The leader inside of you shouting about more! You need more glue, more bricks, more! He’s too powerful! The walls are breaking again!

  Steve’s hair is a mess, wild brown waves with zero product in it. Circles under pleading amber eyes and you’re fairly certain the shirt he’s wearing isn’t washed if the wrinkles and mustard stain are any indication. 

  It makes you feel guilty, but then you remember that you’re not sure what was real for him this last week. Not sure if any of it was, or if you were just the thing he had his sights set on winning - the thing he couldn’t have till he could. 

  He shakes his head but you hold up your hand, “Let’s just forget anything happened, okay?”

  “Wh-what?” Steve blinks profusely and you look anywhere but his eyes, and freckles, and neck, and-

  “I just want to…forget it. Let’s just be coworkers who share friends again, okay?”

  “We…you don’t even want to be friends?” His voice cracks and you blink your own eyes too many times, feeling a sting behind them. 

  “I…I can’t be your friend Ste-“ your voice wobbles and you correct, “Harrington.”

  Your fingers fiddle with the strap of your bag and his crinkle the brown bag in his hand and you both stand there, staring at the sidewalk for what feels like forever. 

  “I s’pose you don’t want these then,” he offers the items up limply, before he walks over to the trash and tosses them. He clears his throat and calls over his shoulder, “Have a good shift, co-worker.”

  His fingers slide on the bridge of his nose as he gets into his car, but it’s no use. You don’t see him crying because you’re walking into the store, and he doesn’t see you crying, because his vision is too blurry to see much of anything.

  The truth of the matter is, you can’t be friends with Steve. 

  Because you’d rather be so much more than friends. 

  But if you’re more than friends with Steve Harrington, it was only a matter of time before something, someone, new came along. A new challenge and thing to chase after. 

  You’re swiping at your eyes still as you get into the back room, greeted by an apologetic looking Robin and Keith slurping on yogurt.

“Good thing you called in yesterday,” he speaks around the pink snack in his mouth, “You look like hell.”

  “Thanks,” you snap sarcastically, dropping your bag on the table which wobbles when you do.

  “Huh,” Keith gets up, holding the spoon in his mouth as he walks over and shakes the table. He pops it out and holds the spoon at it accusingly, “Who broke the table?”

  Your body heats up remembering Steve laying on top of you on it, the way he felt between your legs, the way he-

  “I did!” Robin scrambles up from her chair, waving her hand over it and talking too fast, “I’ll pay for it! I’ll work extra shifts! I’ll-“

  “She didn’t break it.” You look at Robin who you’re worried may offer to sell her own soul if she thinks you’re mad at her. You’re not, though you do wonder how she knows about the table. “I did.

  Keith kicks it and mumbles a ‘whatever’, tossing the yogurt cup into the trash can and licking his fingers free from the creamy substance as he talks, “How was Harrington?”

  “Wh-what?”

  “Harrington?” Keith raises his eyebrows, hooking his thumb at Robin, “I can’t trust a thing she says, the traitor’s best friends with him.”

  “He…” Robin looks at you with a pout, pleading blue eyes and you sigh, “He was actually really good. Did extra work. Did the whole shipment by himself…he was…he was great.”

  Keith nods, eyes narrowed at you and then shrugs. “Whatever, he’s the new full time guy then. Spread the good news Buckley.”

  Robin’s eyes squeeze shut in a wince as you shout, “What?!”

  Keith is already walking out into the front of store and you trail behind him as he explains, “We needed a replacement for Tracy. This week was a trial run for Harrington. Thought he told you?”

  “He…” you trail off, remembering your first shift with him last week, “He said it was while you looked for the replacement.”

  Keith starts stacking tapes and Robin starts bringing them to shelves as he rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah, but why would I go through the trouble of posting the job, interviewing, and training a new person when one of my employees wants it?”

  “But-but, I’ll do it! I’ll interview and train! You don’t have to do a thing! I’ll-“

  “What’s the issue, I thought you said he was great? Give me a reason and I won’t give him the position.”

Keith blinks at you, bored, and Robin holds her breath next to you. 

  This means Steve and you working together most days. 

  This means watching him flirt and date and parade around Hawkins with every girl other than you for the foreseeable future. 

  This means you’ll never outrun Steve Harrington. 

  Robin raises her eyebrows at you and clears her throat as Keith snaps his fingers in your face, which you plaster a smile on to.  

“Give Harrington the job, what do I care?” 

  You spend the rest of your shift silent, listening to Keith explain to you how he wants the big fourth of July display to go and reminding Robin to tell Steve he can be in charge of the park, like he asked, whatever that means. 

  You stopped listening the minute his name was mentioned and focused on finding every movie with fireworks in it. 

Hawkins, Indiana - Wednesday A.B.

  You’re balancing on the window’s ledge, one hand holding the display of Patrick Swayze up and the other reaches for the tape that’s just out of reach on the shelf. 

  The tips of your fingers brush it as you stretch another centimeter and a huff falls past your lips when you can’t get it. You rise up onto your toes, craning just a little bit further when you start to lose your footing. 

  Large hands catch your waist from behind, holding you up. In the process of steadying you, your shirt rose, and Steve’s fingers now rest against your bare skin. 

  His hand lingers on your lower back as he reaches for the tape and hands it to you, both returning to your waist as you tape Johnny & Baby to the window. 

  “Thanks,” you clear your throat, realizing it’s the first word that’s been spoken in several hours. 

  Steve just hums from behind you before he lets his hands fall, the sound of his feet dragging on carpet only just louder than your heartbeat. 

  It isn’t fair, to know how his lips feel against yours.

  It isn’t fair, to know how he looks without his shirt off.

  It isn’t fair, to know how good it feels to come around his fin-

  The chime of the door pulls you from your self-sabotaging thoughts, the scent of peaches almost immediately overpowering. 

Blonde ringlets bounce as long legs approach the counter where he leans over a clipboard. 

  “Hi there,” her voice so sugary sweet it makes your stomach ache. 

  “Hi, welcome to…H-hi,” he stands, clearing his throat. 

  She pouts and leans across the counter, fingers traveling up his arms and making yours erupt in flames. 

  “You never called me, Steve.”

  “Oh,” Steve rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, I’m so sorry. Something came up.”

  Something came up.

  Your scoff is loud, loud enough to have both of their heads turning, so you face the window again, putting pieces of tape aimlessly on the back of the posters. 

  “That’s okay,” Brit assures, syrupy and sighing, “But how are you gonna make it up to me?”

  “Oh, well, I…”

  “Hey, Steve?” You call, looking over your shoulder.

  He blinks at you, Brit’s fingers on his forearm now and swirling circles into it. “Ye-yeah?”

  “I’m out of tape,” you respond sharply.

  “And?” His brows furrow at you.

  “Can you get me some more, or are you too busy not doing your job?”

  His eyes narrow under furrowed brows but then he turns to Brit, voice low and daring to sound smooth now, “Sorry, babe, I gotta get back to work, but I promise I’ll call this time?”

  Brit smiles, gives a nod and a little wave with her fingers and then the scent of peaches is replaced with cedar and mint. 

  You smack another piece of tape haphazardly to the window. 

  “You’re unbelievable, you know that?” His voice comes from right behind you, and you don’t dare turn around and face him.

  “You have that tape?”

  “Yeah,” Steve scoffs, handing a roll over your shoulder, his breath hot against the back of your neck, “Looks like you missed a spot.”

  “Thanks,” voice biting as your fingers yank the tape from his.

  He snorts, hand pressing to the glass next to your waist, “I seriously cannot believe you have the audacity to be jealous.”

  Your knees wobble as you spin and he steadies you again, hands on your hips and just low enough for you to look down at where your bodies press together as you swallow. Steve raises his eyebrows at you, expectantly, waiting.

  “What? You want a reward for using audacity correctly in a sentence?”

Steve’s jaw pulses, his forehead furrows again, but then you tack on, “And I’m not jealous.”

  His fingers squeeze involuntarily and he shakes his head slowly. 

  “There you go again, what’d I say about that, huh?”

  Chests heave with each of your intense breaths, his tongue wets his lip as you swallow and push against the glass behind you.

  “I have no reason to be jealous,” you respond quietly as Steve’s fingers brush back and forth under the hem of your shirt. “I hate you.”

  Steve’s eyes shift in color, darker, like the forest is being covered with storm clouds as he shakes his head no again, “Quit,” he takes a deep breath, exhaling the word as he tilts his chin, “Lying.”

  The chime above the door rings and Robin’s honey tinted waves are bouncing under it as she looks around. Steve takes a step back from you, pink cheeked and swallowing, hands shaking a little as you quickly climb down. 

  Your eyes avoid his as you grab your bag and wave to Robin, mumbling something about seeing her tomorrow. 

  You’re not even surprised at the lyrics that fill your car when you start it.

  “I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day…

I couldn’t get away.”

Hawkins, Indiana - Thursday A.B.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  Thunder booms overhead when you ask, like it’s protesting this conversation.

  Robin sits on top of the counter across from where you lean, tossing skittles in the air and catching them.

  Or well, trying to catch them. 

  A yellow one evades her and joins a green and blue one on the floor as she says, “Shoot.”

  Your fingers fiddle with the button on your vest that says ‘May The Force Be With You’ as Robin foregos throwing and starts to dump the bag directly into her mouth.

  “How…” your arms cross as you sigh and squint out the window at the gloomy evening, “How’d you become friends?”

  “Wha?” She asks around rainbow goo, blue eyes blinking rapidly as your nose wrinkles at the sight.

  She swallows quickly and waves her hands for you to elaborate, “What?”

  “How’d you become friends…” you swallow down the butterflies that ache to come out just from saying his name, “With Steve?”

  “Oh,” she says, softly. 

  “We just,” you’re back to fiddling with buttons, with the keys of the computer, “We never really talked about it, y’know? Like you hated his guts just like me and then all of a sudden you were tricking us into movies together. And getting him this job. Helping him with…”

The unspoken activities of last week hang in the air and she smiles tightly. 

  “Right, um, well,” she scratches at the back of her neck, legs swinging as she blows out a breath. “We worked together, at Scoops, remember?”

You nod as she continues to ramble, talking with her hands and skittles spilling on the floor as she does, “And well, aside from making me laugh all summer and actually being not so terrible at conversation and listening like I’d pegged him for, there was this one night, where we got a little high and he…we were playing truth or dare.”

  She trails off and looks at you, pink cheeks and biting her lip and you stand up straighter.

  “You what? You didn’t…”

  “No!” Robin shudders, she waves her hands, “Absolutely not! He…” She groans and looks out the door and hops down, pacing as she mumbles, “Gonna freaking kill me.”

  “What?”

  “Uggh! I asked him if he’d ever been in love.”

  Your heart beats erratically, like it’s trying to keep up with the constant pelt of rain against the pavement, like each thump is trying to break you from the inside out. 

  “And? His answer made you become best friends for life?”

  Robin shrugs, “Sort of, yeah.” She smiles, avoiding your eyes as she fiddles with the skittles wrapper. “This guy who seemed so high and mighty, so douchey, so…well, you know how he is,” she waves a hand with a laugh, “After a Summer of proving all of that wrong, making me eat my judging ways, this dingus goes and tells me that he isn’t sure what it’s supposed to feel like, but he’s pretty sure he felt it holding this girl’s hand on a ferris wheel when he was twelve.”

  Robin tosses the wrapper in the trash with a sigh, “And I don’t know. I folded. Now, whenever he says something dumb, whenever he’s an idiot, all I see is a guy laying on my floor telling me that. All I see when I look at him is this front covering up for a kid who thinks love is holding a girl’s hand. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like that?”

  “Did,” you start quietly, almost so quiet you’re not sure you’re even saying anything. The words muffled by rain and thunder and your heartbeat,

“Did he tell you to tell me that?”

  “What?” She asks, wrinkles deepening under parted bangs. “No, absolutely not. He told me if I ever told anyone that my ass was grass.” She snorts and rolls her eyes. 

  Robin never knew how you met Steve. She never knew why you hated him, you just bonded over the fact that you did. 

  She frowns at you, “Why do you as…oh shit.”

  You’re certain she’s connected the dots you already have but then she’s looking over your shoulder and your mouth is parting at the sight of who’s running with his jacket over his head towards the store. 

  He shakes out hair as the door chimes, swiping at his eyes as he starts up and down the aisles, searching and your hands start to shake. 

  “Go in the back room, I can manage till he’s gone,” she says softly behind you, nudging you towards the back of the store and away from the man dressed in a nice suit squinting at new releases. 

  Your head nods as you quickly and as quietly as possible make a break for it. 

  But then you trip on the Predator cut out and his voice sounds just like it did all those years ago.

  “Well, what do we have here?”

  “Hi,” you scramble to your feet, floundering with the cut out pieces as you mumble his name, “Brendan.”

  He tilts his head at you and has the nerve to smile at you, “Thought that was you! You look…”

Your body warms under his appraisal, his hold nothing back rake of his eyes over you from head to toe and back up. Only hotter when he says, “Different.”

  “You…” your mouth is dry, suddenly able to recall all the things you’d planned to say to him if you ever saw him again. A plan to rub all of your success in his face, hopes of having another beer to toss. 

  Brendan squints at you, then around the store. He scoffs, “So…this is what you’re doing, huh?”

  You’re faintly aware of the door chiming as you take a step away from him, back pressed to the shelves as he takes a step towards you, arm caging you in. “What’s a girl like you, still working in a place like this, babe?”

  Why can this guy do this to you? How does he make you feel so small? 

  “Don’t…don’t call me that.” 

  Your head shakes, but that seems to be about the only thing your body remembers how to do. 

  Brendan pouts his lips, mistaking your breathless panic as being smitten, as being nervous around him for a totally different reason. “You used to like it.”

  He touches your waist and in your peripheral you see Robin take a step towards the phone as he speaks lowly, “You know, I never thanked you.

After you threw that beer at me and he kicked my ass, I actually took it seriously. Passed Biology, graduated. I work at a law firm now.”

  His hand runs up your waist, squeezing just below your ribs as he leans in, “I feel like I should take you out, to say thank you, babe.”

  Your mouth parts, but someone else beats you to it.

  “Pretty sure she made it clear not to call her that.”

  Brendan backs away from you, if only slightly, to look at Steve standing at the end of the aisle. 

  “Seriously? Go ring up my rental,” Brendan snorts, tossing the tape at him harshly before he turns back to you. “Where were we, babe?”

  Steve’s reflexes let him catch it, while he glares and grits through clenched teeth, “Call her that one more time, see what happens.”

  “I’m not a drunk high schooler anymore Harrington, don’t think I have anything to worry about. Right bab-“

  Steve’s fist connects with Brendan’s jaw, sending him staggering away from you. Steve’s eyes are on you, frantic as he breathes heavily and pants out, “Are you oka-shit!”

  Brendan barrels into Steve, knocking him down to the ground, fists connecting with his stomach and the side of his head. 

  You shout out both of their names, shoving at Brendan to get off of Steve who coughs after the hits stop coming. 

  Brendan staggers to a stand, swiping at a bloody nose and spitting at Steve. You stand and shove at his chest, “Get out! Before we call the cops on you, you arrogant, pathetic-“

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Brendan waves you off, “Fucking deserve each other.”

  The door swings shut behind him, and you stare ahead, breathing heavily, sure it’s the rain running down the glass making your vision blur. 

  “Steve?” Robin’s on the ground next to his head.

  He moans, but motions for her to help him up as you turn back around, so she swats at his chest, “Why’d you do that! What is wrong with you? He could have killed you, you idiot!”

  “Christ Robin,” he grumbles, “I’m fine, just-hey.”

  Steve’s over to you in two steps, bloodied and bruised hands cupping your cheeks and swiping at them. 

  Even through blurred vision, you can see the bright reds and darkening purple on his forehead, your fingers brush the scrape that’s just above the two freckles on his cheek. 

  “Thanks,” you hiccup out of a sob trying to break.

  “Of course,” he murmurs, thumbs still brushing over your cheeks gently, “What are…” he swallows, “What are friends for?”

  The sob cracks just as the thunder does and Steve shakes his head, eyes big and worried, “Hey, hey, come on, that asshole is not worth these and I’m not either and-“

  “St-Steve,” you sniffle, interrupting him. Trying to reign in all the extremely big feelings that have been held back for a long time, “Will you drive me home?”

  He looks surprised but quickly nods, “Yeah, yeah of course honey.”

  “Steve, I really don’t think you should be dri-“

  Robin’s hesitation cut off from the look he gives her and answered only with her eye roll. 

  Your hands shake in your lap, fingers playing with the seams of your jeans as Steve drives silently. The radio plays softly, lost in the rain pelting the windshield and the swoosh of the wipers getting it off. It’s only when you make it to your street that you finally are brave enough to talk again. 

  “How,” you clear your throat, sniffling away any residual tears, “How are you doing? With the storm I mean?”

  “Oh,” Steve nods, frowning at the road, “Yeah, good.”

  “Was that…was it real?” Gaze falling to your lap as you dare to ask.

  “What?” He stops at an intersection, looking over at you, ducking his head to catch your gaze. “What do you mean? The storms? There’s no way, you gave them too much credit. Those kids are smart, but they’re not that smart.”

  “No, I mean…are you even afraid of storms? Or was that just another part of the plan? Was it real?”

  Steve blinks at you until a horn honks behind him and he nods as he pulls away, “Yeah, yeah it was real.”

  You nod and he looks at your profile as you stare out the windshield, tear stained cheeks and bottom lip bitten raw, your hands won’t stop fiddling with things. When he pulls into the parking lot of the complex, he faces you. 

  “Is that why you won’t talk to me? You won’t even be my friend? Because you think it wasn’t real?”

  Your shoulders rise in a shrug, heart beating harder than it ever has as Steve shakes his head. He reaches for you, but hesitates, murmuring a plead.

  “Please look at me honey?”

  Your exhale is shaky, eyes watery again as you do what he’s asked. Heart’s What About Love starts playing. You close your eyes, shaking your head with a laugh as you swipe at your cheeks. 

  When you open them again, Steve is watching you carefully, and he speaks so softly, so sincerely, like he wants you to have to lean in to hear what he has to say.

  “Everything was real. Eddie let me take you to the diner and Robin put on Peter Gabriel, but that’s it. I swear, honey. How you reacted to those things, what I said, what you said, all of it, was real. And I thought, at my house, I thought it was clear how much I want you.”

  Tears rapidly fall down your cheeks as you nod, “Okay, but, what happens if you only want me because you can’t have me?”

  “What?” Steve looks at you, frowning, eyes glassy.

  Your hands swipe at your eyes as you shrug again. “What happens when you get what you were chasing, but another, more challenging want, comes along?”

  He swallows, looks up at you with his own watery eyes, “You really think that’s all I want? Do you hate me that much?”

  Images of your hand in his on a ferris wheel stir in your mind, of what could have happened after you threw that beer in Brendan’s face, images of a kiss and another kiss and another until you’re crying again. 

  As you lean over the console, you whisper against his skin before pressing a kiss to the two freckles on his cheek.

  “Never hated you.”

  You’re quick to climb out of his car, and run through the rain up your stairs and slam the door on the storm. Your back falls against it as you suck in a breath and cry, the lamp and radio flicking on as you do. 

  Heart’s song that was just playing in his car stops, and a familiar tune starts playing. It’s melody making you think of Steve between shelves, whistling. Making you think of a pool table in a basement on Cornwallis Street. 

  Your hand swipes at your cheeks as you try to get your breathing under control. 

  What if Steve Harrington has been chasing you all these years, but it’s never been about the chase, he just didn’t know you kept changing the rules and finish line on him? What if all he’s ever wanted was to run the race alongside you?

  Robin’s voice accompanies REO Speedwagon’s, making you spin towards the door. 

  Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like that?

  As you fling the door open, wondering if you can catch him, Steve’s fist raises to pound on it.

  He stands on the stoop, rain pouring down, making his hair stick to his forehead and his eyes squint. 

  “Give me one more chance,” he breathes heavily, his car lights and wipers still going from the space below. 

  The music from inside your apartment plays loudly as he takes a step towards you and keeps pleading.

  “I’ll literally get on my knees right now, honey. I am begging you, to give me one chance. One date. No help from Eddie or Robin. Nobody. Just me, and you. Let me prove it’s real. Let me prove it to you?”

  It’s the moment right before a storm starts, when it’s like the earth is taking a deep breath of, soaking up the silence before it won’t get a chance of clam again for who knows how long. 

  He blinks at you through rain droplets clinging to his eyelashes, squinting under a bruised forehead and pouting through kissable lips. Your voice wobbles even after you shove the butterflies back down, giving them no chance to escape, not yet. 

  “Ask me nicely.”

BICFTF TAGLIST: Thank you SO much 💛

@ash5monster01 @madaboutjoe @foreverinwanderlust @the-fairy-anon @scarletwitchgf

@curlsincriminology @siriuslysmoking @redbarn1995 @starry--sarah @starksbabie

@taccobelle @angst-lasagna @blckburd @crownofdecit @torntaltos

@sanniegirl1214 @yourmommilf @khena @ytgus @starryeyedpoet17

@halfburntout @belle101200

[cybrsan]

[12:47 AM]

SUMMARY: A late night in Hongjoong’s studio takes an interesting turn.

PAIRING: Kim Hongjoong x GN!Reader

RATING/GENRE: M ; smut, pwp

WORD COUNT: 652

WARNINGS: Blow job, cock worship, D/S dynamics, face fucking, (slight) spit kink, studio sex

A/N: Yes, yet another Hongjoong studio smut, and my first timestamp. A big thanks to @yourfatherlucifer for inspiring this. This one’s for you ♡

No one man should be allowed to look this good.

For the love of God, Hongjoong is literally just sitting there. In his studio, at his desk, working on the same song he has been for the last three hours. You don’t know what happened. Maybe it was the way he groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Maybe it was the way he leaned his head all the way back, exposing that beautiful neck of his. Maybe it was how his fingers moved, tapping along with the beat on his thigh. But something in the air changed. Something made your entire body heat up, overwhelmed you with the urge to rip off his clothes and screw him into oblivion. 

But you can’t. 

You know that if you interrupted his work process, even if you begged him to fuck you, he’d withhold himself from you as punishment. Don’t interrupt him—it’s the number one rule. So you won’t make him stop working. You won’t even say a word. But surely you can still have a little fun? After all, you have to satisfy this craving of yours somehow. 

Stealthily, you move from the couch to the floor, crawling on your knees. You sidle up to his desk and settle yourself underneath it. You gently touch his knee, and he jumps, cursing under his breath. 

“Y/N?” He asks, looking down at you. “What are you doing?” 

God, that angle. Something about how he looks from this position makes you squirm without him even having to do anything. You’re desperate for him. Your fingers trail up his thigh, and he smirks, beginning to get the idea. 

“I thought we agreed you weren’t allowed to interrupt me while I’m working, sweetheart.” It’s not worded as a question, so you don’t respond. “Though I guess you aren’t actually stopping me from working, are you?” To this, you nod. “Go ahead.” 

Emboldened by his permission, you get to work undoing the button of his jeans, smiling to yourself when you see the hint of his arousal tenting his boxers. You palm it, mouth practically salivating as you feel it continue to harden underneath your hand. You glance up at Hongjoong once again; besides the slight flush to his cheeks, he continues working as if nothing is amiss. 

You pull his cock out of his boxers, pupils immediately dilating when you see the way it curves up against his abdomen. Pre-cum pools at the tip, and you stick your tongue out, licking it off. Hongjoong’s body jerks slightly, but you’re the one who moans. Digging your fingers into his thighs, you sink down, enveloping him in your mouth.

You could do this for hours; just sit here with the weight of him on your tongue, unmoving. If you weren’t so impatient, you would. But you are, and so you begin bobbing your head. You take him in all the way to your throat, choking around him, spit dripping out of the corners of your lips. It’s messy, it’s fast, but god, how you love it. 

Apparently, Hongjoong loves it, too; you finally get him to the point where he can no longer focus on the work before him. Pushing his keyboard aside, he brings his hands down to your head. He tangles one in your hair and uses the other to control your movements. It doesn’t take much longer for him to start fucking your mouth without reservation, filthy praises tumbling from his mouth like prayers. Once he finishes, you eagerly swallow it all. He has to practically pry you away from his cock, so eager to go for a second round.    

“Y/N,” his voice is husky, his chest heaving from exertion. “Give me five minutes to wrap this up, and then I’m going to fuck you into that couch. After that, I think we need to have another discussion about our rules, yeah?”

NETWORKS: @cromernet @kflixnet @pirateeznet

TAGLIST: @nebulousbookshelf @ad0rechuu @seonghwaddict @sanniesbunnie

[kiwiana-writes]

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tag @hgejfmw-hgejhsf and @onthewaytosomewhere - it's always nice when I'm not kicking the week off lmao. I didn't get a lot of writing done this week because I was busy editing the Going Platinum podfic I posted today, but I've powered through so I have something to share!

Rockstar Alex is now officially fully epistolary, because I figured out how to get #3 from the five fun facts game into a fully epistolary format. If you are thinking to yourself, "Great! If it's fully epistolary then it can't hurt as much!" I would advise you to turn to your nearest Schitt's Creek fandom buddy who has read my fics in that fandom and ask them how they feel about chapter 5 of Meet me out at the end of my rope (aka angstapalooza), and calibrate accordingly 😈

SO. Below the cut is a little sneak peek of this with the skin on (and some bonus Reddit comments because when I go epistolary I go balls to the wall), but if you don't want to venture under the cut, enjoy the text version of an r/TIFU post:

TIFU by breaking my no-hookup rule Obligatory ‘this didn’t happen today’ but my friends are still making fun of me days later, so. I’m not a hookup/cruising kind of gay. Full respect to you if you are, it’s just never been my thing - I’m more of a serial monogamist type But it was my friend’s birthday last weekend and we all went out to a gay bar, and I ended up dancing with this guy who… honestly if I describe how off the charts hot he was you wouldn’t believe me anyway, so you’ll just have to trust me on this. He was there with a friend and the friend bought us a few rounds of vodka shots before fucking off somewhere, so me and this guy went back to dancing. And then the dancing was grinding, and then we were making out for a bit before he said he was gonna go to the bathroom with THAT head tilt. You know the one. Even my no-hookups ass knows the one. And yeah, I don’t do hookups, but fuck it. I said yes (I really cannot express how hot this guy was lol) and followed him to the bathroom. I won’t get into all the details but suffice to say getting blown by this dude was a religious experience. I’m just getting to the point of no return when he pulls back all of a sudden. And he’s got tears in his eyes, but I just thought it was from like… well, you know… but then he STOOD UP. I was like “what the fuck dude” and he just started APOLOGIZING, saying something about the song????? I hadn’t been paying attention tbh, I was a bit busy having my brains sucked out through my dick, but this guy just muttered something about the song and his ex and then he LEFT ME in the fucking club bathroom, dick bobbing in the wind. I think I’m back to no hookups from now on tbh. TL;DR: first ever hookup ended with a stranger literally sobbing his way off my dick, and ACD’s new song is a banger, but I’ll probably never be able to hear it without thinking of the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had.

Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tagging @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @blairwaldcrf @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @everwitch-magiks @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @matherines @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @notspecialbabe @orchidscript @rmd-writes @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)

[seungkw1]

untitled (hoshi oneshot)

pairing: kwon soonyoung x reader (gender not explicity mentioned)

word count: 1.3k

genre: exes to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: drinking, cursing, implied sex

author's note: hi this is literally the very first fic i've ever written in my life!! it's just a short one but any constructive feedback is appreciated :)

What an annoying fucking day. 

Missing the bus and being late for work, coworkers getting on your nerves, and to top it all off you completely forgot to do that important task that was due today, so you ended up staying late. It was only Tuesday, but you needed a goddamn drink.

It was already dark by the time you stepped out into the freezing cold air, and you huddled up in your coat as you made your way to the mediocre dive bar down the block. Not your top choice, but it was close. You ordered a vodka soda and zoned out as you listened to whatever depressing ass Smiths song was playing - shitty vibe, but you were too tired to care. 

So when the man you had vaguely noticed was staring at you from your peripheral vision got up and headed towards you, you sighed as you turned to immediately shut that shit down. 

“Sorry but I am really not in the mood for a conversation right n-“ your stomach dropped as you made eye contact with the all-too-familiar face. 

“I thought that was you,” your ex-fiancé said sheepishly. 

Frozen in shock, it took you a good five seconds for you to utter a response. 

“Soonyoung?”

What the FUCK was he doing here?

As if he read your mind, he explained, “I’m in town this week for a work conference, but I didn’t expect to run into… anybody I knew.” He paused, waiting for your reaction. More silence. After what felt like an eternity you finally snapped out of it.  

“Um… me neither.” 

Jesus Christ, pull yourself together. 

It had been nearly two years since you last saw him. The breakup had felt like a relief then - he was moving across the country and you never planned to see or hear from him again. Especially not in some random fucking bar on a Tuesday. 

Your heart raced as you noted that he looked good. Like, really good. 

“Mind if I join?” he gestures to the vacant seat next to you. 

“Yeah, definitely. I mean- no I don’t mind. Sorry yeah go ahead, sure” you tripped over your words. Why the hell are you so nervous? It’s just your ex. 

Yeah, just the person I very nearly married. Just the person I had once considered my soulmate…

You shove that thought to the back of your mind. 

Soonyoung sits down and awkwardly begins to make small talk - something neither of you are that great at. You chat politely for a few minutes, asking each other the usual generic questions.  There’s clearly so much you want to say to each other, but you both hold back. 

“Soooo… how’s the…” he pauses. Shaking his head, he abandons whatever he was going to say. He turns and makes eye contact with you, giving you a questioning look. You feel your heart rate spiking. You try not to think about how handsome he looks right now. 

“Do you still like playing pool?” He nods his head over to the open pool table in the corner. A smile involuntarily creeps onto your face and you see his eyes light up in response. The tension suddenly melts away. 

“Only if I can still kick your ass.”

—

A few drinks and several rounds of pool later, you and Soonyoung are laughing it up as if you hadn’t spent a single day apart. 

“Tired of losing yet?” you taunt sarcastically. You are both terrible at pool and neither of you even know how to play properly. But neither of you care about the game at this point anyway - you’re lost in old stories and inside jokes. 

And god, he looks REALLY good. 

Soonyoung pulls out his phone and laughs as he checks the time. 

“Uh-ohhh, it’s gotten prettttty late. We better get you home before you turn into a pumpkin!” You roll your eyes but feel a sudden tinge of sadness. You were truly enjoying yourself - more than you had in a long time - and you weren’t ready for the night to end. But it was getting a bit late. 

“Ugh let me check the train, who knows how long until the next one.” You go to put your coat on but he’s already holding it up for you, not realizing his old habit. 

“Fuck the train, I’m driving you home! It’s toooo cold,” he insists. You let out a short laugh - he only had one more drink but he was clearly drunk. 

“No, dummy, you are in no condition to operate a vehicle. I’ll drive for you.” 

—

You park Soonyoung’s car near your apartment building. He’s mostly sobered up by this point, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed about the fact that he had spent a good chunk of the ride crying as he apologized and confessed that he really missed you. But honestly, you realize that you had really missed him too. 

“Welp, here we are… guess I’d better get going,” he says, trying to hide his mopiness at the thought of leaving you. He slowly starts to open the passenger door but you catch his sleeve to hold him back. As you pull him back into his seat you find your hand subtly sliding up around his bicep. Fuck, he was even more muscular than you remembered. 

“Excuse me but I am not letting you behind this wheel until you are fully sobered up, which you clearly are not,” you tell him firmly. “Come on babe, we’re going inside and getting you something to eat.” The affectionate name rolled off your tongue so naturally that you didn’t even notice you’d said it. 

His eyes light up again. He had always been stunning, but in this moment he was insanely hot. Still holding onto his bicep, memories of his toned body flash through your mind as you feel the heat rising inside you. 

Is this really happening? Fuck, I want him so bad. 

And the way he looks back at you, you know he wants you too.

—

“What do you want, leftover pizza? A sandwich? Ramen?” 

“Ooooh RAMEN!” Soonyoung exclaims eagerly as he comes running into the kitchen. “Pretty please,” he adds with a goofy grin. It all felt so natural. You didn’t realize how much you had missed this, missed him. 

“Drink this,” you force a cup of water into his hands. Your hands brush and you instantly get butterflies. 

Jesus what is this, a middle school crush?? 

He locks eyes with you. Huge pang in your stomach. 

Okay, yeah. You need him. Badly. Right now. 

Overwhelmed, you panic and turn back to busy yourself with the ramen, but you find yourself too distracted to even continue that. 

Soonyoung can’t wait any longer. He grabs you by the hips and turns you around, pulling your body into his. He’s already excited, and you feel his excitement grow even more as he wraps his arms around you and kisses you with more intensity than you’ve ever felt before. 

Fireworks. Electricity. All the things. In that moment, nothing in the world mattered but you and Soonyoung.

God damn. 

He breaks the kiss so he can take a look at you. “You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that right?” He gently grabs your chin and tilts your face up toward him, going in for another kiss. 

You suddenly become aware of the ramen packet that’s still in your hand. You giggle and he ends up kissing you on the teeth. You both burst out laughing and Soonyoung pulls you even tighter into his arms. You feel both of your hearts pounding in your chests. 

He places his forehead against yours. “Soooo…”

“Soooo what?” You give him a tiny peck on the lips. He gives you a tiny peck back. 

“Soooo aren’t you gonna invite me into your room?”

“What for?” you ask coyly. 

“Mmmm I think I have a few things in mind,” he says in a low voice. 

“Like whaaaat,” you tease. 

You feel the both of you becoming even more excited as he mutters into your ear. 

“Mmm I like the sound of that,” you say softly. Then jokingly, “but what about your ramen?”

“I think I have an appetite for something else now…” 

[end]

—

find me on ao3 as well ♡

[elvisabutler]

sentimental over you

summary: sometimes your fiancé's insomnia has its perks. namely that he'll let you sleep while your daughter and him have a little one on one time. rating: g, it's literally a baby on big daddy's chest. like what was i gonna do to it. pairing: big daddy elvis x female reader word count: 867 warnings: fluff. talk about elvis's insomnia. babies being babies and not sleeping like adults with nine to fives. it's tame, i'm being silly with these warnings. though there is unsafe sleeping practices in that a baby in any bed that isn't a crib for the first chunk of their life is technically speaking a no-no in the us now. author's note: literally blame this on the at least two times i saw someone come into- god i think it was daisy's and tam's inboxes mentioning elvis and babies and being adorable. i just wanted to write fluff and this has been in my head since i read those things. also i did mention curly hair in relation to the baby so know this is meant to be both for poc and non-poc readers.

Elvis would like to argue that both times he's had a child, first with Lisa, his Yisa and then with little Crystal, Lisa's lil Crys-Crys- he hadn't actually planned for them to come when they did. Lisa coming nine months to the day of his and Priscilla's wedding and yours- well yours right after you had just gotten engaged. You could have been married for when she was born but you had put your foot down, telling Elvis that under no uncertain terms were you going to be walking down the aisle with your belly as round as it was in a wedding dress.

You haven't gotten married yet and there's a nebulous promise from both of you to each other that once Crystal is sleeping through the night comfortably you'll get married. At the rate she was going, you and him would be an old married couple without the marriage part before she decided it was a cool thing to sleep. You've gotten used to waking up in the middle of the night and it used to be to feed her but nowadays it's just to have her look at you with eyes so blue you swear no part of your genes even entered the equation when it came to figuring out her eye color. Sometimes she's crying, other time she's just making noise but tonight- tonight you find yourself sleeping past your normal wake up time. Tonight you find that you sleep past the midnight hour, the witching hour for your daughter and into the early morning hours of 4AM. What wakes you up is the low murmur of your fiancé singing.

You blink slowly, your eyes trying to focus in the low light of the room. It takes you a minute or five to actually notice that it's not just him in the bed next to you, that there's a soft cooing noise being made on his chest. Crystal doesn't sleep with the both of you ever, unless she's sick and even then one of you is usually awake to make sure she's alright. Last you had checked when you put her to bed in her crib she was fine, there was no real reason for her to be making noises on Elvis's chest. Elvis is too engrossed in singing to your daughter to notice much of anything in relation to you waking up and hearing him sing a version of one of your favorite Ella Fitzgerald songs does bring you a bit of joy that you don't want to pop just yet by announcing your awake state. When he stops his hand moves to play with your daughter's hair, taking note of the curls starting to finally grow. The jury was still out on how tight they would be but you were hoping for a potential middle ground between your hair and Elvis's.

"Ya gonna go back t'sleep lil one? Gonna let Daddy put ya back in your crib all nice and comfy?" He whispers to her, almost trying to bargain with her like that was ever something that worked with babies. Crystal's answering whimper as he starts to shift in the bed to attempt to get up answers for him. "Gotcha, ain't gonna move from this spot I guess. Gonna have mama wake up t'you all curled up like a cat on me. How we gonna explain that t'her?"

You can't help the tiny giggle that escapes your lips at the last part before you see Elvis's head turn to look at you with Crystal's head following suit, blinking slowly. "Satnin. You supposed t'be sleepin'."

You hum, moving a little closer so that you can nuzzle noses with him and then with your daughter. "Was. Singing woke me up. She been up long?"

"Half 'n hour. She's gettin' drowsy. Gonna have her out like a light in no time." He says with all the confidence in the world. "Go back t'sleep. We'll be here in the mornin'."

You shake your head. "Sing us both to sleep? Maybe even yourself?"

Elvis looks at you and looks at your daughter- your daughter that both of you made together- and exhales. "Drive a hard bargain y'know that?" But he aquises nonetheless, moving his arm out so that you can scoot closer, and place your head near Crystal's on his chest and a soft kiss to her nose. Your arm drapes across his stomach, pulling him closer as you hear him start to sing again.

Crystal falls asleep first, a small yawn leaving her body before she burrows into Elvis's chest, turning it into a warm and comfy little pillow. You feel your eyes starting to droop soon after but then you hear a light snore coming from Elvis instead of singing. You glance up and a smile crosses your lips, he fell asleep mid-song. You follow soon after and the next time you wake up it's to the first rays of sunlight entering your room casting a light on your future husband and your daughter's face that makes your heart full to bursting.

Maybe a few more minutes of shuteye wouldn't hurt. After all, they'll be there in the morning- the later morning.

They were.

[kisses-from-crows]

Crossed Wires - Campbell Bain - Ch 3.

Pairing: Radio Host!Campbell Bain/Popstar!femReader

Summary: Campbell is ready to get some answers, but is Y/N ready to give them?

Genre: enemies to lovers, modern au, reader insert, forced proximity, misunderstandings

Word count: 3,286

CW: mentions of mental illness, vague allusions to a past ED, panic attack

Chapter 3

Beginning | Previous | Next

- PopCrave: Is it about time for a rematch? Fans speculate with Y/N’s return to the public eye, a new heated interview with Campbell Bain can’t be too far behind. So we’re counting down the Top 10 Bain vs L/N moments!

Posted: 10 min ago -

When Campbell’s alarm went off, his bloodshot eyes had already been wide open. He’d hardly slept a wink, up all night just thinking. His mind did this often, running around in circles dragging his remaining sanity uselessly behind it.

Months ago when he had selected ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go Go’ as his alarm, he had thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Now he was considering how much it would cost to replace his phone if he smashed it to bits. It seemed that the sun had risen against his will once again and it was time to face the music.

Quite literally face the music, his phone was charging across the room and the only way to turn the blasted song off would be to get out of his nice warm bed. Yet again another one of his brilliant ideas come back to bite him in the ass.

Just as his toes touched down on the cold wooden floor of his bedroom, the song stopped of it own accord. Campbell winced knowing what was next, a call was coming through. Through the busted speakers of his phone came blasting the most deep-fried version of ‘Ding Dong The Witch is Dead’. At full volume. If he hadn’t been awake before, he sure was now.

Campbell scrambled frantically across the room looking like Bambi on ice, ignoring the way his body groaned in protest at the sudden movement. Anything to make the damn phone stop ringing. The last thing he needed was yet another noise complaint from his cranky downstairs neighbor.

The phone slipped through his fingers as he attempted to snatch it off his desk and fell to the floor. The words: ‘ITS THE DEVIL’S HENCHMAN, DINNAE ANSWER IT’ stared up at him from the ground as if to mock him. With a deep sigh, Campbell managed to answer the phone successfully.

“My driver will be there in five minutes. Get your chronically late ass out of bed.” Y/N ground out before immediately hanging up. Campbell blinked at the screen, the lack of sleep making his brain lag behind. It took about ten whole seconds for him to process what she said.

“Good morning to ye too, ya royal pain in my arse” He said to no one but the air. So the call last night hadn’t been a bizarre nightmare, just his luck. The last thing he wanted to do today, much less any other day, was another interview with F/N L/N. ‘This one’s different.’ Her words from last night had echoed though his head into the wee hours of the morning.

Now the words ‘be there in five minutes’ were making the rounds inside his skull as Campbell scrambled to put together something suitable to wear. Dirty and clean clothes alike were strewn across the floor. It took about five tries to find something that didn’t smell completely appalling. Just as he was hopping around trying to get his left shoe on, the buzzer to his apartment complex rang out.

He nearly broke his neck racing down the stairs to make it to the car. If there was one thing Y/N hated more than Campbell Bain, it was people making her wait. She was already going to tear him to shreds, Campbell didn’t need to make it any easier for her.

Even with his color block hoodie on, Campbell could still feel the bite of the autumn air. October was just around the corner and the yellow, reds, and oranges were just beginning to creep into the edges of the trees. He loved this time of year. The heat of the summer always made him a bit irritable. Plus with the weather in the 60’s he was able to pull out his favorite sweaters and hoodies.

In front of his apartment was a black town car and stern looking man in a black suit and sunglasses. Right on time, just like Y/N said they would be. Campbell strode his way up to the driver and stuck out a hand for him to shake.

“Campbell Bain, pleased to make yer acquaintance.” he said with a crooked smile.

The driver looked down at Campbell’s hand before grunting and offering a curt, “Get in the car.” Before opening rear passenger door and marching over to the driver’s seat without waiting to see if Campbell got in or not.

“Well aren’t you just a ray o’ sunshine” Campbell grumbled as he climbed into the car and slammed the door shut.

On the ride over he tried to come up with every possible reason she wanted to meet with him like this. Other than their somewhat yearly interviews, they only ever bumped into each other at various album wrap parties or some odd studio function. Event’s like the station Christmas party which was almost always tragic. Too much booze and a pathetic round of Secret Santa. Even then, they spent the whole night pointedly ignoring each other. Stealing loathing glances across the room as some remix of Jingle bells desecrated what was once a hallowed hall of music.

As the car rolled to a stop in front the french bistro, Campbell felt like a lamb to slaughter. He attempted to swallow the lump in his throat, while he procrastinated getting out. In no time at all the driver had walked around the car and opened the door for him. Impatiently ushering him out. God when did his life get so weird? Had it always been this weird? Maybe just a different kind of weird. The driver said something into his little ear piece before getting back in the town car and driving off. Likely just circling the block, unwilling to leave Y/N by herself with Campbell for too long.

He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he worked hard to get where he is. This was just another business meeting. There was no need for his heart to be pounding and his hands to be sweating. Though you could hardly blame fight or flight for merely doing its job. Especially when Campbell was walking straight into the den of a predator, one who would eat his heart without a second thought.

He donned his patented ‘Devil May Care’ attitude and sauntered his way into the restaurant. Only to be stopped immediately by the hostess.

“Sir, you need a reservation to be in here” She said in a patronizing tone. Nearly a decade now of rubbing elbows with these yuppy rich people and he still couldn’t get over the condescending way they talked. Like he had a head full of lead and loose cotton swabs.

“I haaave a reservation,” Campbell said obnoxiously dragging out the syllables, letting his accent garble the enunciation just a bit. “I’m meeting with someone.”

The hostess flushed, seemingly embarrassed. “My apologies, you must be Mr. Bain. Right this way, she has been waiting for you.” The hostess said quickly. Campbell suppressed a wince, Y/N had been waiting, and he was never going to hear the end of it.

He followed the hostess as she scurried to a table tucked in the back corner. In the booth sat a feminine figure, donning comically large sunglasses and a silk scarf wrapped around her head. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought she was some infamous mafia boss’s grandmama.

“Aye, good morning babooshka. Any chance you’ve seen global pop sensation F/N L/N wandering around here?” Campbell said, sarcasm dripping from his shit eating grin. Y/N shushed him quickly, tilting her sunglasses down to level him with a glare so cold that the tiniest shiver ran down his spine. He half-wondered if it had turned him to stone. Ah, but there was that wrinkle, mission accomplished.

“Someone could hear you, you know?!” She hissed under her breath. “Are you just going to stand there looking like an unemployed scarecrow all day?” Y/N allowed a practiced tone of disinterest to seep into her voice. Campbell ignored the jab, feeling quite satisfied that it only took one well aimed sentence to bring out that adorable little crinkle in her brow. Adorable like a Tasmanian devil, of course.

He plopped himself unceremoniously into the booth besides Y/N. His long legs struggled to fit comfortably under the short clothed table. His knees crashed into the table legs, causing the silverware to clatter, water to spill from the crystal water glasses, and several other patrons to whip their head toward the pair of them distastefully.

“Aye learn to mind yer business, why don’t ya” Campbell shouted, attempting to stand up from the booth and knocking into table once more. Y/N rubbed a hand over her exasperated brow, as if trying to rub out an incoming headache.

“Dear god, is this your first time in public?” She said, her shoulders now folded forward to hide from the judgmental eyes of the other patrons.

“Nae,” Campbell said “but it looks like it’s your first time out of the 1950’s. What’s up with the ridiculous disguise, you look like my granny”

“I suppose you may be right about that” Y/N said, letting a small huff of air out her nose in a amusement. A laugh and admitting he was right about something? That was proof, Y/N had been murdered and replaced with a clone. Clearly, they were in the twilight zone. As he was pondering the universe and the fact it was currently flipping itself inside out, Y/N began her removing her disguise piece by piece. First the silk scarf revealing her signature H/T - H/C hair, then a fake beauty mark he hadn’t even noticed before, and finally the unreasonably large sunglasses.

For the first time in nearly two years (a year and eights months but who was counting) Campbell had taken a good look at Y/N. She looked… different? Her cheeks were a little fuller, her skin looked warmer, and… had her eyes always been that color? He took in her appearance piece by piece. By the time the stretch of silence had started to become just a bit uncomfortable, he decided that getting the hell out of dodge agreed with her.

He hadn’t realized he was staring until Y/N cleared her throat and took an awkwardly long sip from her nearly empty water glass.

“So, did you have any trouble finding the place?” she said with a small smirk. Campbell rolled his eyes.

“Nae, but yer rather rude driver looked like he was two seconds away from taking my head clean off my shoulders. Ye should watch out for him, he is clearly a serial killer in the making, just you wait” Campbell said, waving his arms about indignantly. “That and the hostess damn near threw me out on the street.”

“Oh Gustavo? He’s nothing but a kitten. He just gets a little protective, that’s all. You’re being such a big baby. And the hostess was just doing her job. I told her I was waiting for the man who looked like Gumby and sounded like Scrooge McDuck. And look! Here you are right before my eyes” Y/N responded a quick, a slightly menacing grin slowly sliding across her face. She was trying to get a rise out of him. He was not about to let her win.

“Funny, I just plugged in ‘Wicked Witch of the West’ into my GPS and-“Just as Campbell was winding up to deliver the most immature tirade, light reflecting off a passing car filled the room with a quick flash. Y/N flinched, her hands moving instinctively to cover her face. A moment later when no second flash came, she looked up at him, cheeks slowly turning red.

“What was that?” Campbell said, more curious than judgmental. Y/N straightened herself up and slid a palpable wall up to cover whatever vulnerability she had accidentally revealed. She flipped through the menu absently, hoping he would just stop looking at her like that.

“Paps have been ruthless lately. Guess that’s what happens when deprive them of anything for so long…” Y/N eyes looked a little distant. “they start acting like they’re starving.” The light that had been in her eyes earlier had dulled. She looked as though her mind had gone wondering off without her. Only for moment, before blinking and coming back into her body. “Hence the russian grandma special.” She joked flippantly holding up her pathetic disguise like nothing happened.

She turned her attention back to the menu. “Ooh the quiche lorraine looks good, what are you going to get?” Campbell looked at Y/N like she had three heads. Something was definitely wrong. He been around the block enough times to know when something was off. And he’d had enough of the games.

“What are we doing here Y/N?” Campbell said, not waiting for a response. “Why are you having me meet you in some stuffy bistro like yer on the run from the law? If ya wanted an interview with me that badly, which I highly doubt, why not just have yer team arrange it through the station?”

“The station doesn’t need to know about this.” Y/N said, unable to look him in the eye. She flagged down the waitress and put in an order for the both of them.

“Hey wait I didn’t even tell ye what I wanted!” Campbell said indignantly with a small pout. Y/N gave him a crooked smile that couldn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Just trust me.” She said. And for one of the very few times in Campbell’s life, he was speechless.

The moment the food hit the table he tore into it. He was basically starving due to the fact Y/N had cruelly denied him time to eat breakfast before basically kidnapping him. For a reason he still didn’t know yet. At the point where the food had hit his stomach and he could actually start to taste it, Campbell felt like he had died and gone to heaven. Maybe she had been right about the food. Maybe.

“Enjoying yourself?” Y/N asked smugly, tearing off a piece of croissant and popping it into her mouth. Campbell shot her glare, mouth too full to attempt any sort of dignified comeback. Not without spitting food out all over the table, and he was not about to waste it.

As the his hunger-driven delirium subsided, he noticed the way Y/N was so focused on eating, she had barely said a word. Basked in an emotion he had never seen from her, she looked content. It felt a bit weird to see her eating, but Campbell could quite put his finger on why. Surely he’d seen her eating before, they’d known each for years. Every function they were forced to attend together were stuffed to the brim with a damn near gluttonous amount of food.

Y/N felt his eyes on her and stiffened. He was staring again. He really needed to get a handle on that. She put down her fork and turned to address Campbell. She took a deep inhale and let out a shaky breath.

“Campbell,” there was his name again, “I know that we haven’t always gotten along-“

“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the understatement of the century!” Campbell interrupted. Y/N glared him and clenched her jaw.

“Will you just shut up for one minute, and let me get through this!” Y/N seethed. Campbell’s eyes widened. He comically mimed zipping up his mouth, locking it up, and tossing the key over his shoulder. She rolled her eyes at his antics, but his delusions swore there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

“I need your help” Y/N admitted, her eyes fixed firmly on her lap. “A lot has happened, things that are difficult to explain and even more difficult for me say out loud.” She began twisting the rings on her fingers. “It wasn’t my choice to leave… to disappear like that” Campbell found himself leaning closer to hear her voice as it got quieter and quieter. He wondered if she had always looked this small. “Most people don’t really understand but I thought maybe… well I was hoping that you might-“

In the middle of what seemed to be a kind of confession, sounds of commotion came from outside. Y/N paused and slowly looked up, as if afraid of what she might see. Slowly and then all at once, camera flashes filled the once quiet restaurant. Reporters gathered outside the windows of the bistro, shouting over each other like a flock of seagulls. Cutting each off in a second creating an overlapping onslaught of noise.

“Y/N-“ “LOOK OVER HERE” “WHY DID YOU LEA-“ “Y/N” “Y/N” “LOOK THIS WA-“ “DID RODGER REALLY DUMP YO-“ “CAN YOU GIVE A COMMEN-“ “WHERE DID YOU G-“ “Y/N!” “IS IT TRUE YOU WERE IN REHA-“ “LOOK OVER HERE!” “HAVE YOU SEEN MR. DEL REY’S NEW FIANCÉ!” “Y/N!” “LOOK” “LOOK!” “LOOK!” “LOOK!”

The lights became blinding in an instant. Campbell was covering his eyes and trying to make sense of the commotion. The crowd outside was growing. The noise from them becoming louder and louder and more nonsensical. A few of the reporters had managed to make it in, only being held back by the ill-prepared waitstaff.

Y/N had dealing with this for years, she would know what to do. Campbell turned to her for an answer. And found her paralyzed. Eyes wide and glassy. Mouth hanging open slightly pushing tiny quick puffs of air in and out. None of them large enough count as an actual breath. Like a wounded deer staring down a man with a knife come to put it out of its misery.

“Y/N?” He said softly. She began shake her head ever slightly. The tiny puffs of breath of air almost sounded like a word, just barely: no. Campbell touched her hand, lightly trying to her attention but she was entranced. Staring at the lights and the shouting and the commotion. All of those people hoping to tear off just tiny little piece of her.

Campbell wasn’t stupid. He recognized that look. He’d seen it on Rosalie’s face a million times. She was having a panic attack, not the loud screaming kind. The kind that pulled you inside your own mind and made you a prisoner. Watching the world around yourself though a tiny little window, unable to do a thing. It was in that moment Campbell made a decision. A decision that went against years of bitter resentment and petty rivalry. She had asked him for help. And he was going to do just that.

Campbell stood up, gathered up all of Y/N’s things, and snatched the last croissant off the table. He was going to get her out of here. He took off his jacket and held it up with one hand, blocking the light from her face. He grabbed her hand and tugged on it slightly.

“Let’s get you out of here” Campbell said, a silent proposition hanging in the air. ‘Just trust me’. An invisible echo of those three little words she said to him not too long ago. Y/N looked up at him, still panicked but clinging to his hand like it was the only thing tethering her to the earth. He was happy to ignore the way it hurt his knuckles. She bravely stood up from the booth with shaky legs. And he smiled so wide it scrunched up his nose and nearly took over his whole face.

“Now, we run.”

_________________________________________________

Next Chapter

A/N: so i finally finished chapter three, not gonna lie this one fought me every step of the way, but we got here! i decided i’m gonna to try to post a new chapter weekly on wednesdays! thank you so much for reading, love you! have a good week!

(how do we feel about the paragraph breaks? i can’t tell if they’re obnoxious or if they make it easier to read. I can make them smaller if need be. if anyone has any strong opinions about it lmk!)

[toomuchracket]

I looooove all of your Ross talk🫶🏻 I’m a sucker for best friends to lovers so imagine being best friends since idk maybe 13 and finally once you’re older realizing/telling each other that you have feelings for one another❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹😭😭😭

oh god yeah like maybe it's one of those situations where you live next door to each other your whole lives, so the two of you walk to and from school together every day and become quite close, and then ross drives you when he passes his test. and i really do think it's mostly a platonic love you have for each other at the start - like obviously he's cute and you're cute and you're both sweet and you get on really well, but the penny doesn't really drop for you romantically until you're about eighteen and at a party.

the band (whatever iteration they are at that point) have played, you're all a bit drunk, someone suggests spin the bottle, and you're all like this is a great idea let's do it. and then ross has a go and it lands on you and you're both a bit like "oh dear haha" but you think nothing of it, and then you kiss and it's just an oh moment for you. like, it's a good kiss. you want it to happen again as soon as your lips pull apart. and there's a softness in ross' eyes when he looks at you afterwards that you've never seen, but it gives you butterflies. and he's the same - kissed you and thought "shit, why did i never do this sooner?", then fell head over heels at the way your cheeks went pink and you smiled at him afterwards. but you both know that a relationship isn't ideal right now - the band are seriously working to get a record deal and break into the industry, and you're going off to uni somewhere else in the country - so you just never mention that you like each other. and you stay in touch over the years - you go to the shows that you can when the boys get bigger, which gets harder as you graduate and start working, and ross isn't always home for christmas for very long, so there's some years you don't get a chance to catch up at all. and you both see other people, but never anything serious, and you both get a little rush of butterflies whenever you see the other has posted on social media. and then maybe in like 2018, one of your friends from school gets married, and you're talking to your old friend group online before it - all of the boys are invited and going, and you're so so excited to see all of them, especially ross. and the day comes, you go by yourself because you're not seeing anyone, but you're feeling good. and you've been in the venue for literally less than five seconds when you hear a familiar voice go "oh, there she is!", and you just turn to see ross looking suave and fly and sexy in his suit (and it's 2018, so he's really tanned and his hair is short) and you're internally like "ooooooooh my fucking god". and you run over to him as fast as your heels will allow and just hug him (you kind of lose it at how huge he is because its been so long since you hugged him. like, he's a man now) and you're like "god you look so good how are you?" and ross pulls back and twirls you round and says "i look good? you look amazing. it's so good to see you". and you're both a bit giddy chatting for a bit, before ross takes you to see the other boys and say hi - they're also very excited to see you, and it's good to catch up. and you end up sitting next to ross during the ceremony, and at the meal too, because he also didn't bring a plus one. and you're having such a a good time chatting with ross - it's just like old times, you and your best friend, but you can't get over how fucking sexy he is, so you're deliberately flirting with him just to see what happens. and he plays into it! whispers in your ear that he can't get over how gorgeous you look, absent-mindedly puts his hand on your thigh, drags you up to dance with him to this must be the place by talking heads (his fave song apparently!). and it's not a slow dance per se, but you're holding hands and bopping and you're trying not to think about how familiar and safe you feel with ross (which is NOT helped by the song lyrics AT ALL), and then he hugs you close and you just sway along to the music. and then when he pulls away from you, he has the same look on his face as he did when you kissed him that night all those years ago and then he's like "let's get a drink". and you do - he pays - and then you take your drinks outside. and it's quiet, just the two of you on this loveseat, and ross is like "you're not seeing anyone at the minute, are you?" and you say no and he's like "neither am i. that's good". and then he kisses you! and that's it - the start of you guys being together <3

[aibidil]

as someone who was a freshman in college in 2003-4, i don’t think i could ever explain to people what it was like to be on the internet when we had flash videos (because regular vid formats were too big) and ebaumsworld and weebl's stuff (but no YouTube!! not until 2005!, a decade before Vine) as the modern meme era began. it's hard to remember how much work we had to put into finding and sharing memes, the exact opposite of now when good content from every platform is reliably shared around and reposted on every other platform. but I'm going to try to explain it for posterity, so gather round, children, for some tales from an elder millennial

imagine this:

you're in your dorm room hiking up your low-rise jeans and a friend sticks their head in and calls you to their room (everyone still had PCs with enormous towers, no portability, this had changed by 2006 when people bought laptops for college) and you gather behind their desk while they open ebaumsworld and pull up a gloriously terribly edited, completely chaotic, short-form video. "Hokay, so, here is the earth, chilling," it says in an inscrutable accent. "What IS this?" you ask and your friend goes, "SHHHH!" "Damn, that is a sweet earth you might say. WRONG!" You watch the video forty times on repeat, laughing harder each time

A few days later you're the one calling your hallmates in because you've discovered a video (please note YouTube DID NOT EXIST, this was on Newgrounds.com, which I somehow do not even remember) of a kid your age from New Jersey dancing to a... Moldovan pop song no one has ever heard before? You watch it five hundred times until you know all his dance moves and still have no idea what the song is or who sings it, but you will die for this boy from NJ as he is now your favorite person on the planet and you can sing every word as best you can without knowing the language

you go home and your brother is like, "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MAGICAL TREVOR?!?!?!" and your friend from another university is like "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BADGER BADGER SNAAAAAAKE?!?!" and thus meme biodiversity is ensured

a few years later it looks like this: you log on Facebook, which you need a .edu email address from a select list of elite colleges to register for, and there's no news feed...the only thing that exists is your friend list and you can post things on your own or someone else's wall. There are no parents or businesses or celebrities or organizations on Facebook. People complain about their parents and professors with impunity and no worry of it ever getting back to them. Half your friends have a fake Facebook account masquerading as a professor or a fictional character or a statue on campus. On a friend's wall they've posted that they can't stop laughing at an early YouTube video of toddlers and before you know it, you've added "that reeeallly hurt Charlie, and it's still hurting" to your vernacular (this video was, at one point, the most watched yt video of all time and was sold recently as a fucking NFT, I wish I could watch my 2007 self learn and try to process this information)

and because this specific type of virality was still new but reliably shared in these ways, you could be pretty sure that everyone in your physical and digital orbits would know the same memes—but that no one in an older generation would have any clue, because of the way things were shared and structured. which is different from now, because our digital spaces are more siloed, because there's so much, so many memes, that my partner and I constantly reference memes that the other hasnt even heard of because meme uptake has to be limited just for functionality within different online spaces. To the point where we both had a gif for "Why not both?/both is good" but his was the taco commercial and mine was the road to el dorado and we literally live in the same house and have all the same irl experiences.

it's both similar to and completely different from the way we share and reference memes now

And now you're in your late thirties and you try to share these classics with your kids and they just look at them like that's the shittiest video I ever saw and you don't know how to explain to them that their admittedly much better quality memes literally wouldn't exist without these precursors but they just think you're lame forever

and you're like, "I'm going to go hang with Hawaii"

[candycryptids]

5 songs I’m into right now!

Got tagged by @gatheredfates for this and it seems fun 🌸! So let’s get into it. I’ll provide YouTube AND Spotify links, because I use Spot but I know it can be a bastard and a fool.

1! Yoruwahonoka by Eve [Spotify Link] [Youtube Link] [YT link has some mild flashing] The opening has my favorite sound type; muffled music played in another room, and something that sounds like a can opening (a crunchy ka-chak noise, which the YT link is to the MV, and shows it actually a shutter, but so it goes!) it’s also a song on Ishi’s playlist, and I’d never actually looked at the English lyrics before but they kinda hit…. For *Kizuna* 🫢

i'm a kid waiting for a lonely star / knowing already that i wanted to be loved / at least when i'm looking up at the night sky / go start dancing and singing your goodbyes / until i beg you to stay

2! … A Ghost’s Pumpkin Soup by Tomoy, for Sonic Adventure 2 Battle 🫣 [Spotify Link] [Youtube Link] I, listen I don’t have much justification to offer for this, I close my eyes, I hear it in my head, uhm, I played a lot, A LOT, of SA2B. Hours on hours on hours. Over and over and over- and this was a level I spent a lot of time in (that, and Wild Canyon, whose soundtrack I ALSO enjoy, but it didn’t make the cut because I wanted this one on here more and if I used multiple songs from SA2B I wouldn’t have any other songs on here actually.) there’s no deep meaning behind it, I’m just. Very fond of the memories tied to it and the location (Pumpkin Hill, spooky, and full of cartoony ghosts and big Jack o lanterns and murderous ghost trains.)

3! Pagliacci Act 1: Recitar! … Vecci La Giubba By Ruggero Leoncavallo [Spotify Link] [Youtube Link] [Youtube does not seem to have the full version I’ve been listening to but I recommend the YT version anyways, seeing the singers genuine emotions and expressions of pure anguish is Elevating] Anyways, I am holding your hands, please listen to this song, opera has such a powerful sound to it, stories told through song is my favorite, and Opera gives me the full body tingles and sometimes when I can’t sleep it’s literally what I put on to help me sleep (wild, I know, given the intensity of it)

4! Like or Like Like by Miniature Tigers [Spotify Link] [Youtube Link]

“Tell me what you really think, do you Like or Like Like Me….”

Am I crazy into romance for myself? Not particularly, but I do like rotating Fictional Romances, and this song is… CHEFS KISS, For it, ehehehe. Also, it just, I like the sound >_> It’s another ear-worm for me.

5! R U Mine? By Arctic Monkeys [Spotify Link] [Youtube Link] This song also loops round in my head the same way the Pumpkin Hill Rap tends to loop round my head- it just keeps being a banger that I enjoy, and since I first heart them I’ve liked the Arctic Monkeys Sound type. They fall in with PillowFight to me, but there’s none of their music on this list because I haven’t listened to em lately >_>;

You get a Bonus number 6! Because I feel kinda embarrassed putting opera on here but not too embarrassed to take it off.

Race Car Ya-Yas by CAKE [Spotify Link] [Youtube Link] The song fucks. CAKE slaps. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk. Please spend the sub-2 minutes it is to listen to this song. It is Absurd. I pay it rent every month. The land were you can’t change lanes/ Where Large, Fuzzy Dice / Still Hang Proudly Like Testicles from Rear View Mirrors…

So. Super normal line up of songs. Please enjoy. I kept XIV music off or that would just be the only music on here XD and I tried to pick stuff that actually had lyrics….

Anyways. No obligation! But I am curious, what’re five songs you’re into, @cindernet-explorer @this-is-ris @oneiroy @becquerelnoir and ! @zombiesockfuckinglovescardfight

[arcplaysgames]

Kawakami continues to be my stealth fave. When Operation Maidwatch started, I fully planned to skip it entirely because lets be real, the set-up was horrendous. Then I figured that'd be less funny so I decided to try it For The Bit.

So fucking glad I did.

Kawakami is in the hospital after collapsing from overwork. And what do you know but the people blackmailing her show up to say howdy and while she is still in bed ask her when her next payment will be.

fuck stealing their hearts, i'm gonna steal their car and drive it into a river

I.... think the implication with "sister company" is transferring from the maid gig to full sex work? Which: I'm pro-SW 'til the day I die but this ain't the way, Kawakami, the way is getting these fuckers off your chequebook.

btw for the side-quests, I love when Reverie is just like "Gimme a full name. Thanks. The Phantom Thieves will handle it." LISTEN. I DON'T CARE. If Ryuji can walk around singing his self-made Phantom Thieves theme song, then Reverie can be an intimidating weirdo to random people.

BOY THE PENULTIMATE LOVERS LINK SURE IS JUST REVERIE THIRD-WHEELING HUH

this was so fucking funny, Ann and Shiho are having a serious heart to heart and Reverie is just here as extra muscle to help Shiho with the stairs.

I'm very glad to finally see Shiho again though I assume it will be for the last time.

WHEN I TELL Y'ALL

I FUCKING SAT ON THIS DECISION FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES

because I do like Ann a lot! probably more than any of my options so far except maybe Tae, but I don't like her that way, but maybe I would like her that way if I gave her a chance? UGH it's agony but I went with the Just Friends route.

EVEN THOUGH "YOU HAVE ME" IS SOMETHING A FRIEND WOULD SAY SO I LITERALLY HAD TO LOOK UP THE LOVERS CHEATSHEET TO VERIFY WHAT IT MEANT.

Ann, you are still best girl, though admittedly you finally have competition.

I did wrap up Ann's Confidant.

As far as the Lovers go, hers is the weakest to me personally. I would rank them Yukari > Rise > Ann. But I think this is because I don't.... understand Ann's life goals. Which may be just my blind spot personally. Ann's dream of becoming a supermodel to inspire people falls kind of flat because I think modeling is an important job and career but I don't.... connect it to like.... inspiration and stuff?

It's so odd it feels like I'm missing something.

But Ann herself, I adore. I would rank her as honestly one of the kindest people in a Persona game, genuinely good-hearted and just seeking a way to harness that.

New Persona for Ann! Hecate!

Yusuke visited like every other day in summer vacation, so I got some premium hangout time and managed to max his Confidant out too.

AND LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING

YUSUKE SHOULDA BEEN THE FORTUNE. He makes zero fucking sense as the Emperor. There is nothing about him or his arc that lends itself to the Emperor, but BOY HOWDY does his arc spin 'round and 'round like a perfect wheel.

After some more artist's block, Yusuke finally puts together a piece for the exhibition run by that one jerk who wanted to package and sell Yusuke like a brand. He takes first place!

TURNS OUT THAT THE WHOLE BRANDING THING WAS A FUCKING RUSE. The guy truly was invested in Yusuke's success as an artist and came up with the whole branding thing to get Yusuke angry and get his head in the game.

THE WHEEL FUCKING SPINS AND SPINS.

I'm so fucking annoyed that he's the Emperor, I just don't see it, it makes no sense. Better options were WAITING.

nah only when the game lets me flirt with you even though we're not allowed to kiss. I adore you, Yusuke.

New Persona Get and WAIT NO GO BACK ugh why is it Susano-o AGAIN? And this Susano-o doesn't look NEARLY as cool as Yosuke's. 8C I will miss Goemon and his cool pipe. 8C

wait is this just disneyland. /googles. lmao the Maihama station is right next to Disneyland. ahahahaaha

I will be boycotting this destination for the entire game! 8)

what else did I do outside the MSQ.......

OH YEAH I'm allowed to hang with Sojiro again finally!

TURNS OUT THE GUY HASSLING SOJIRO IS FUTABA'S FUCKING UNCLE

he wants money or he'll file for custody for Futaba (where he'll have an upper hand as he's a blood relative and Sojiro is not)

Futaba actually shows up to bully Sojiro for some food and immediately freaks out at seeing her uncle.

When Wakaba died, Futaba got handed around between her relatives for a while and ended up with severely neglected by her uncle. Then Sojiro stepped in and adopted her.

Like with Kawakami's blackmailers, I want to wreck some havoc on this bastardman.

Sojiro truly is Best Dad, I'm with y'all on this at last. Sojiro, please adopt Reverie. That should be the no-romance end for Reverie, he just gets adopted by the Sakuras.

I FINALLY got my courage high enough to talk to Iwai the fake(?) arms dealer? AND NOW I THINK I'M DOING CRIMES? i mean uh more crimes. additional crimes. like smuggling weapons?

also like. The Solid Snake/Iroquois Pliskin vibes off this guy, he looks and feels like he just got back from the Big Shell and is laying low until Philanthropy is ready to take out another metal gear.

However unluckily for him, he's also my literal favorite card in the Majors, the Hanged Man, the card I am the most particular about, so he's pretty much doomed to disappoint me through no fault of his own. Because I'm the only person who actually Understands the Hanged Man, you see. Just me.

Okay that sums everyone up, back to the MSQ.

[greyias]

Farewell Act 2

After a boss fight that went far smoother and quicker than it should have, it is time to bid a farewell to these lands of darkness, and move on to the final portion of the game. I am only sad because I'm approaching the end and my precious Tadfools' adventure will be coming to a close.

(Shhh. Shhh. Everything Rosymorn Monastery totally counts for this list. Let's call it Act 1.5, because the game kept insisting that I was somehow irrevocably altering things by heading there. So it counts.)

In the spirit of tradition, before we finally reach the big city, let us reflect on the good times in ze middle:

Gale breaking my heart this entire act ♥

Swindling a researcher into taking an owlbear egg instead of a Githyanki egg (that is currently being nursemaided back at camp). Feeling guilty about the consequences of said action and trying to distract her with song while Astarion steals it back. This fails miserably.

Astarion and Ari teaming up to steal from the rudest eagles in Faerun

Ari nearly blowing up Githyanki mountain by impulsively grabbing a mace. For a puzzle she had already solved and had everything needed to do properly

Ari and Astarion splitting the party in the midst of madly fleeing for their lives from angry githyanki in order to grafitti Vlaakith's portrait as revenge for making Lae'zel cry

Alternatively, what happens if you fail a dexterity check on vandalizing Vlaakith's portrait

Gale's awkward attempts at communicating how hot he found it when Ari kicked shadow ass

Honestly? Getting jumped by the five million shadow creatures who nearly one-shotted poor Ari in a single round, because it meant the rest of the party had to get extremely creative in order to save her (including the squishiest Gale misty stepping right into heart of danger as he was the one who could get to her fastest throw a potion on her)

Accidentally breaking Wyll's heart because Ari really wanted to dance

Just poor Wyll in general getting shot down constantly. Poor guy, you'll find love at some point

Me wasting an entire Sunday because I got so offended the game locked me out of a fashionable and useful armor because I looted a chest 48 hours before a patch that fixed it, I decided to temporarily install mods to get it back. Resulting in me accidentally deleting the data folder of the game and having to reinstall the whole game

Everything about their adventure in the House of Healing

Also the entire Waning Moon Experience, including Toilet Skeleton

The most talkative door in the land

Ari shoving her hand into a writhing mass of tentacles, dislocating her shoulder in the process

The most ridiculous series of events leading up to the Gale romance scene. Ari still has a dislocated shoulder this entire time

Ari's lute playing is better than ogre sex. Apparently.

Getting banned from the Emerald Enclave by the two druid jerks because Ari dared to innocently pick up a book owned by literally no one

Gauntlet of Shar Anvil Chorus

The Spider Incident

A patch 3 bug making it so that Ari and Astarion have all of their important conversations while never making eye contact, as if they're crossing their arms and shouting supportive statements over their shoulders. A++ adds to the Frienemy Dynamic they have going on

Accidentally squishing Astarion with an elevator like Wile E Coyote. It really was an accident I swear.

The Shadowfell sequence was so epic and well done. Nothing funny about it, just very well executed all around.

Gortash's creepy collection of brains

Ari being so persuasive, she talked a devil into just going back to the hells rather than deal with her

Ari being so persuasive she made Ketheric Thorm feel bad enough about his actions that he just yeeted himself into a pit of acid

Captain Planet-style summoning The Absolute to get ready for her Bachelorette Party

Aylin and Isobel, my god, they're precious and I love them with my whole heart

Alfira asking Ari to do a duet to cheer up the kids, and just a perfect way to end this darkest of acts

Goodbye Act 2, your mood whiplash threw me for a loop. Somehow despite that, you provided almost as many crazy shenanigans as Act 1. I forgot to document half of them, and probably forgot to list even more. Despite all your gloomdark, you brought much laughter and goodtimes. And now... the Tadfools must head to their final destination.

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

TWO TOWERS THOUGHTS!!!!

there are more of these bc the two towers is probably my favourite of the trilogy, despite the distinct LACK of boromir 😔

BUT i did notice a few things that baby birb totally ignored or forgot about!!! find out what they are........below 😈

one of baby birb's fav shots of aragorn was when he's lying across a rock tracking merry and pippin bc it reminded me of that one episode spongebob squarepants where the lads end up riding a rock to the customer's house 🤣 'it's not a boulder, it's a rock! a big, beautiful ROCK!!' lmao

baby birb ALSO loved all the shots of everyone running. as a smol individual, i had to run EVERYWHERE to keep up with the Tall Folk 😒 sure it was nice seeing THOSE feckers sprinting for a change!!

am still very confused about why anyone listened to grima what's his name, ur man's half the way to gollum u know 👀

tangential to the running scenes: i love aragorn's doofy run where he's flinging his one arm about like a silly. reminds me of my OWN unhinged run 🤣 (it is possible that these films are more deeply imprinted upon me than i thought 😅)

'LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!!!'

legolas's FACE every time he has an emotion. delightful

knowing that viggo mortensen broke his toe made me laugh at the helmet kicking scene tbh, i know it's meant to be poignant but that EXTREMELY REALISTIC scream of pain got me going like 🤣

shout out to treebeard holding merry and pippin in his tree hands. i kept thinking 'what if he just. smashes them together like barbie dolls 🤣'

ORCSES. HOBBITSES. i actually love gollum-smeagol, he's too pathetic for me to hate. HE'S LITERALLY SAT THERE SINGING HIS LIL SONG AND EATING A RAW FISH. LEAVE HIM GO HE'S NOT BOTHERING ANYONE ;A;

that gifset ruined everything for me. 'this forest is old......very old....' old as balls. that's just the line now. i no longer acknowledge the original. 😔

cheeky gandalf!! 'u wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick!! 🥺😳😘🤭🙄' (<- this is how birb thought using emojis worked a scant five years ago. be GRATEFUL i was not on tumblr back then, for the carnage would have been GREAT AND TERRIBLE!!!)

i love love LOVE the scene of the trio beating the shite out of the bg guys while gandalf walked slowly toward the king. u just see legolas punching a dude in the face, aragorn ZOOMING round in front of gandalf and off to the side, it's hilarious 🤣

whEN THEY TOSS GRIMA DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE JGY 👀

so many ICONIC lines!!! 'boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!!'

'it's the beards 👀'

U DROP ARAGORN OFF A CLIFF???? OH! OH! JAIL FOR ORCS!! JAIL FOR ORCS FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

rip eowyn, she's so lonely and sad that the slightest validation from a hot guy she's known for five minutes was enough to make her fall stupid in love with him 😔

(i am also stupid in love with him, but it's different when i do it bc. um. uhhhh. 👀😳)

god he IS great tho, isn't he??? he's so dirty and greasy and wet and soggy, i love him and his dirty face and his dirty clothes and his dirty hands i love him i love him i lo

legolas got SO ANGRY about the orc telling them aragorn went over the cliff, he took it SO PERSONALLY. this makes birb want them to kiss each other 😊

they can kiss gimli as well, i don't mind!!

also the king awkwardly patting legolas on the shoulder like he's a slightly homophobic dad trying to comfort his gay son after a break-up, 'i still care about u but im super uncomfortable so im just not gonna say anything ok?? ok. manly head nod. im out 😐'

OPEN MOUTH KISSING??? BEFORE MARRIAGE????!!!!!!! OBSCENE!!!!!! LEAVE ROOM FOR THE HOLY GHOST!!!

side note: poor elrond, here he is trying to make sure his daughter has a good life and all she wants is to marry the dirty ranger like

'u think u know a girl, u raise her for 2000 or whatever years, organise her birthday parties and buy her a pony and teach her how to control the river, and then in the end she leaves u behind and marries a guy with a fraction of her lifespan, dooming herself to future suffering and despair smh 😔'

also arwen's face when aragorn is breaking up with her,,,,,'what did daddy say to u?? this is bc of what he said, isn't it?! i can't believe he's still interfering with my love life!!!!' ;A;

that lil ~half caress~ aragorn does to legolas's hand when he's returning arwen's necklace to him????? it's like??? idk super romantic??? it made my stomach go SWOOP?? if i stare at a gif of this scene i feel a bit dizzy??? is that weird. am i. weird 👀

i want them to make out with each other, sorry lads 😔

the annoying thing in all these medieval fantasy type stories, when there's not enough men for the war, they're always conscripting 10 year old boys, while the teenage girls and young women without any kids are hiding with the elders and children. LIKE. HOW can u justify sending little 8 yo haleth son of hama to the front lines?? LOOK AT HIM!! HE'S TINY!!! surely a 15 - 21 year old young woman would have a better chance of NOT DYING than a wee lad!!! they're peasants, they're used to hard labour!! do directors/writers etc think it's more ~realistic~ or sth?? do ppl think NO WOMAN ever took up a sword in a crisis??? even if certain things are Not Done (and in some places, even under penalty of DEATH), the Rules tend to fly out the feckin window once there's an emergency!!! I THINK 10,000 ORCS MARCHING ON HELM'S DEEP COUNTS FOR AN EMERGENCY???????

all im saying. is if we're all going to die anyway, then EVERYONE should get a sword. even the kids. ESPECIALLY the kids. it went really well in the walking dead when the lil girls each had a pistol. i promise i can be trusted with weapons i p romi s

the best thing in medieval-style warfare is when the two armies stand across from each other and shout insults back and forth for a bit, like 'you're ugly!' or 'you're smelly!' or 'i slept with your sister, and it weren't anything to write home about!!'

please could somebody fetch gimli a ladder, ur mans can't see above the fecking wall like nnO NO NOT THAT KIND OF LADDER

legolas and gimli counting their kills will never NOT be funny to me

MY KING A BEAST!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! HE RODE A FUCKING LADDER AND CRASHED INTO A BUNCH OF ORCS LIKE A KILLER WHALE GOING AFTER SEALS!!! ;A;

god when he shoves open those doors and ARRIVEs it's so so so fucking hot. god he is sso hot. he's so hot i love him i love him i

lol they sneak out the side door like 'hee hee hoo hoo, no one shall see us~' 🤣

'TOSS ME!!!!!' *yeets the dwarf*

legolas SHIELD SURFING!!! HANG TEN, BRO!!! GNARLY WIPE OUT!!! 🤙

im sorry

imagine being such an asshole that u make the fucking TREES angry??? like, u make the trees hate u SO FUCKING MUCH. that they literally come MARCHING OUT OF THE FOREST to commit mass property damage???? 👀

when i watched the scene i shouted 'TILL BIRNAM WOOD DO COME TO HIGH DUNSINANE!!!!' out loud but nobody laughed ._.

come onnnn it's funny right??? esp since we know that 'no man of woman born' can kill the guy in the next film!!! iT'S FUNNY, RIGHT??? ;A;

sam and frodo tumbling down the stairs also made me laugh but i paid for it immediately after when sam goes 'it's your sam. don't you know your sam?' fucknig KILL MEEEEE PLS

the most iconic, most beautiful, most painful line of the film-----the one that always makes me cry, the one i couldn't forget if i wanted to, the words that stand between me and DEATH------

'That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.'

GOD. IM FUCKING DEAD 😭😭😭😭 beautiful delivery as well, shout out to samwise gamgee for being the best man to walk middle earth, i will now lie in a puddle of my own tears _(:3」∠)