#literally straight back to work against her advice sorry to the nurse

[digmeout97]

being the comedic relief is sooo over need a new typecast asap

[bombshellbois]

Code 314

@harringroveweekoflove

Harringrove Week of Love Day 3: Car Sex

Rating: M 

Words: 2688

Summary: The story of Billy’s least favorite arrest for indecent exposure ever. And it’s all Steve’s fault.

There’s only one interrogation room in the Hawkins police station. That means Billy is left handcuffed to Jim Hopper’s desk while Steve is in the interrogation room. It’s dark in the station, aside from the yellow light framing the shade over the interrogation room window, and the lamp on Hopper’s desk. Fucking small towns. This is, without a doubt, the most unprofessional arrest Billy has ever had. 

Hopper emerges from the interrogation room and slams the door behind him. No Steve. Billy expects Hopper will sit down and pick up his phone and call Mommy and Daddy Harrington to come pick up their kid. Then it will be up to Billy to deal with whatever the fallout is. Hopefully Hopper didn’t make Harrington cry or anything, so Billy can still sort of respect him after.

Hopper does not reach for his phone.

No, he throws his hat on the desk and drops down into the chair hard enough that it scoots back several inches on the wooden floor. Folds an arm on the desk and leans in close to Billy, looking him square in the eye. He looks tired and sort of pissed. 

“Steve Harrington is a goddamn pain in the ass.”

“I know the feeling.” Billy has worn that look many a time, and exclusively from dealing with Steve. He can actually kind of sympathize with the cops on this one. “But if what he told you sounds like bullshit, he’s being straight with you this time.”

“Here’s what’s gonna happen.” Hopper picks up his clipboard where there’s a mostly blank form for citations. Only the top is filled in. ‘Code 314- Indecent Exposure’  “I’m not gonna finish filling this out.”

“I’m sure Steve will appreciate that. He’d be the talk of the country club.” Billy suspects that’s not a gift to Steve, though. For a cop, Hopper is okay. He’s let Billy off with 14 warnings for speeding so far. Neil has gotten 2 speeding tickets and had his car towed for illegal parking. 

“So you’re going to tell me what the hell happened and why it was a bad idea.” Hopper pulls the sheet free and crumbles it into a ball, tossing it into the trash can. “Then I can tick off the little box in my conscience that says you won’t do it again and we can all go home.”

Billy rolls his eyes. Jesus, he’s never going to be able to look Hopper in the eye again. “Come on, man. Didn’t Steve tell you?”

“I want to hear it from you.”

“Steve wasn’t lying. We really weren’t having sex in the middle of the woods. We were… look, I know it sounds like a lie, but we were... it was like therapy.”

Hopper’s eye twitches a little. “Police observation evidence would suggest otherwise.”

“I know what it looked like, but admit it. You can’t actually say you saw any dicks,” Billy pushes. 

“Just… tell me what you two were doing out there,” Hopper sighs. 

“What are any teenagers doing out there? You know what that spot is for.” Billy sighs and sits back in his chair. “But if you really want the gory details…”

***

“Would you stop wiggling?” Billy leans down and grabs the bottle of lube he shoved under the driver’s seat and flips the cap open. 

“I’m not wiggling,” Steve huffs, wiggling to try and… do something? Billy isn’t sure because it’s the back seat of the Camaro. There’s pretty much no room, and Steve sure as hell isn’t gonna find more by squirming. He’s just gonna make things harder.

Billy pauses and pinches Steve’s thigh, hard enough to get a hiss out of him. “Fucking hold still. I’m gonna make a goddamn mess all over the backseat if I have to try and catch you after I put this stuff on my fingers.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but he makes a ‘go on’ motion with his hand and then tucks an arm under his head. Billy grabs Steve’s ankle and braces it on his own shoulder. Steve squirms and drops it, hooking it around his waist instead. 

“Harrington. I’m not gonna guess where your asshole is, asshole. Not when it’s my seats under your ass. Work with me here.”

Steve groans unhappily but lets Billy hook an arm under his knee and haul his leg back up. “It’s too small back here.”

“Yeah, I know it’s fucking small, Princess. It’s the back of a fucking muscle car. Who’s fault is it that we can’t use your house?”

Steve’s face twinges a little. Fuck. Billy has his dick out, he’s hard, he’s got his boyfriend naked from the waist down, and now Harrington is gonna fondle his conscience. It works because yeah, that was probably a little below the belt. 

“Sorry, babe. It’s the blue balls talking. When’s the last time we went a week without fucking?” He leans in to press an apology kiss to Steve’s lips, until Steve whines. He actually whines, long and pitiful, and grabs Billy’s shoulder. 

“Too far. Bending it too far.”

Billy drops his eyes to the very naked leg braced against his shoulder. “What? I’ve practically had you bent in half before.” 

***

“Okay, stop. Stop!” Hopper waves his hands, looking a little pallid in his desk lamp. “That’s way more information than I needed.”

“You asked what we were doing up there,” Billy points out. “We were trying to fuck in my car. Like every other couple that parks up there.”

“But you weren’t in your car.” Hopper taps his desk emphatically. “There’s a fine line, Hargrove. Stay in your car and you’re fine.”

“We would have if Steve had followed his stupid recovery regimen like he was supposed to!”

“Recovery for what?” Hopper takes a breath, holding up his hands. Billy really should let that Byers woman know that this guy tries to follow her advice. “Just… go back to where this all started.”

“You’re the boss.”

***

“Practicing late again, Harrington?” Billy asks, glancing over as Steve comes into the showers. It’s just the two of them at this hour, and it’s been a good few days since he really ragged on him properly. How convenient. Steve just glares at him and dips his head under the water. “Ever thought about maybe just being good at the game?”

“Ever thought about shutting up, Hargrove? I hear it works wonders for people with your condition.”

Billy grins, holding his tongue between his teeth. That pisses Steve off endlessly. “My condition? Go on, gimme the punchline.”

“Being an asshole.”

“Someone is feisty today. Did—”

***

“No. No, not where you two started,” Hopper interrupts him. “Skip ahead to where this incident started.”

“Oh.” Billy shrugs. “Okay. It was the end of basketball season and we celebrated by me fucking Steve until he couldn’t walk straight.” He ignores Hopper’s heavy sigh. “Literally, too. But then the coach made us do hurdles the day after. That’s where it all kind of went downhill.”

***

Billy knows before Tommy even starts jeering that Steve is hurt. He lays there a second too long in the red dust of the track, the fallen hurdle tangled between his legs. Billy can tell that asshole is trying to figure out how to get up without looking hurt, because that’s the shit Harrington worries about. Sighing, he ‘accidentally’ slams his elbow back into Tommy’s stomach as he chucks his water cup into the trash before jogging out onto the track.

“Regular gym class hero, aren’t you?” he mutters, hooking his hands under Steve’s armpits and hauling him to his feet. 

“I’m fine,” Steve protests while trying not to put weight on his right leg. It’s a sort of pained hopping that’s not very convincing of being fine.

“Yeah, you look totally great.” Billy pulls Steve’s arm around his shoulders and waves to the coach. “Hey! I’m taking Harrington to the nurse!” he calls, and doesn’t pause to wait for a hall pass or whatever. He’s got Steve hopping around like the hurt asshole he is. That’s better than any hall pass out there as far as permission goes. 

Billy is surprised that when he dumps Steve onto the bed in the nurse’s station, he makes another pained noise and shifts to lay down. Then shifts again onto his side.

“What hurts?” he asks, sitting on the low, plastic stool that’s always by the wall. He figured they had an ankle or knee issue here, but that didn’t seem right.

Steve rest a hand on his right leg. “Thigh. Something in the back of it.” 

“Sounds like a hamstring injury,” Nurse Agnes says, bustling in and jamming a thermometer into Steve’s mouth. Nothing like a fever to pull a hamstring, Billy guesses. “Which leg, Mr. Harrington?” 

“Right,” Steve mumbles around the thermometer. 

“Don’t talk,” she huffs. 

“But you asked me—”

“On your back, Mr. Harrington.”

Steve grunts and shifts onto his back, looking over at Billy for solidarity. Billy just grins and splays his legs further on his stool, kicking one leg up to brace on the side of the infirmary desk. Steve turns the same shade of red he gets after a good hour in practice. He makes a vague swatting motion that probably means ‘stop it’ but he sure doesn’t look away. Billy just runs his tongue over his teeth at him, getting the red to turn two shades darker. 

Agnes’s diagnostic technique appears to be trying to shove Steve’s leg up towards his chest and seeing when he starts making pained sounds. Then she whips the thermometer out of his mouth and sweeps out of the room, tutting and shaking the thermometer and muttering about Steve running too warm. 

“I was in PE,” Steve calls after her, grabbing the pillow out from under his head and chucking it at Billy. “Asshole,” he hisses.

“Can’t help it. Kinda hot watching you get fondled by a sixty-something old woman,” Billy teases, tucking the pillow between his own head and the wall. “Thought she was gonna mount you any second.”

“Me too,” Steve admits, dropping his head back down on the stripe of sanitary paper on the bed. “It was terrifying.”

***

“The official diagnosis was ‘hamstring injury and a mild fever, young man.’” Billy says, leaning on the heel of his hand as best he can while he’s handcuffed. “She put him on ice for 20 minutes, gave him some cheesy printout about stretches, and told him to give it a few weeks to heal.”

Hopper unlocks Billy from the cuffs, and then unlocks them from the chair as well, securing them back to his belt. Billy has the vague urge to get up and walk out just because he technically can and that’s his normal response to authority. He does have the good sense not to piss off one of the few okay adults in Hawkins, though, and not to ditch his boyfriend at the police station. 

“Right. So Steve hurts himself and you just… forgot?” Hopper raises his eyebrows. “I’m sure you’re a more considerate boyfriend than that.”

Billy raises his eyebrows right back. “Based on… what?”

“Call it a hunch.”

Billy sighs and rubs his wrist. “Whatever you say, man. Anyway, that was over a month ago. I forgot about it once he was allowed back into the normal classes at gym. See, we don’t usually fuck in my car. Steve’s shitty parents are usually out of town. I thought the guy was secretly an orphan for a solid month after I met him because they were never around…”

***

“Why the fuck are your parents here for so long?” Billy groans, sitting low in the driver’s seat of the parked Camaro, letting his head loll out the window while he smokes a cigarette. 

Steve lights his own cigarette and rolls the passenger side window down. “For my birthday.”

Billy frowns and raises his aviator sunglasses, glancing across the car. “It’s not your birthday.”

“I know. But next month there’s a conference in Tokyo or something.” Steve blows a mouthful of smoke out of the car. 

“Okay, but… next month isn’t your birthday either.”

“I know.” 

Billy thinks about also pointing out that since they’ve been home, they don’t appear to actually be doing anything with Steve. He and Billy spend all their time in Billy’s car, complaining about not having a parent-free place for sex anymore. But he figures Steve realizes that already too. 

“Can’t believe we’re reduced to car sex at the local make-out point,” Billy sighs instead. “Surrounded by the other horny masses.” 

Steve looks out the window. It’s turning dusky already, and making it hard to see the other cars parked among the trees. Pretty soon it’ll be too dark to see any of them, until they finish doing the deed and turn on the headlights to drive away, one by one. “We could always wait for my parents to leave. Might be another few weeks though.”

Billy stubs out his cigarette in the ashtray. “Get in the back seat and get your pants off, Princess.”

***

“Skip the sex part,” Hopper interrupts him. “I don’t need to hear that again. Just skip to the part I drove up to.”

“Okay, so remember that stupid little care sheet the nurse gave Steve?” Billy shoots a glare at the closed door of the interrogation room. “Guess who didn’t do any of his stupid fucking stretching exercises?”

***

Billy kind of hates his life right now. And his boyfriend. His boyfriend who has probably locked his fucking hamstring up because he thought sitting on ice for two goddamn days was as good as actually stretching. 

“You’re the worst fucking athlete in the world,” he growls, grabbing Steve’s leg by the knee, kneeling in between his legs with their hips wedged together. It manages to be completely unsexy because Steve is an asshole, though. Billy is kind of mad at his own dick for staying hard through all of this. 

“Oh fuck you. You don’t get to talk when you’re having the stupidest overreaction in the world,” Steve snaps, gesturing around vaguely from where he’s laying in the grass in his t-shirt and boxers. “Everyone is probably watching us.”

“Everyone is probably fucking because they didn’t fuck up their leg as soon as their sport season was over.” Billy sets a hand along the back of Steve’s thigh and leans his weight in gradually. “So now I get to fucking play physical therapist with your ass until it loosens back up.”

Steve hisses at the slow stretch when his thigh is barely past vertical. “My ass is fine, thank you.”

“Not if I can’t get my fingers into it, it’s not. It’s useless. Your ass is useless right now, Harrington.”

***

“Okay.” Hopper taps the desk like he’s surrendering a wrestling match. “Okay. That’s where I came by on my sweep. We’re done here. Just… stop talking. And do that in the gym from now on. Wearing more than just your underwear.”

Billy stands up and stretches. “Told you Steve was telling you the truth. Can I have him back now?”

Hopper gets up from his desk and grabs his hat. “Steve didn’t tell me anything.”

Billy blinks at Hopper’s back. Now there was a surprise. 

Hopper opens the door to the interrogation room, spilling yellow light out onto the floor. Billy can hear Steve’s voice inside. 

“Unless you’re here to give me that phone call, we have nothing to talk about.”

There’s a heavy sigh from Hopper and the sound of cuffs being unlocked. “Please get out and go home.”

Steve steps out of the interrogation room, blinking around at the dark interior and rubbing his wrists. “Billy!” He scrambles over and grabs Billy’s arm. “I didn’t say anything. If Hopper said I did, he was lying. I never sold you out.”

“You can’t sell me out when we actually didn’t do anything wrong,” Billy sighs, resting a hand on Steve’s head and turning him towards the door. “But thanks. Come on, Princess. I’ll take you home before the phone here rings and it’s your mom.”

Hopper shuts the station door firmly behind them.

[kpopmalereader]

prom ; lee chan

• summary: dino asks you to go to prom with him after your relationship builds • pairing: lee chan x male!reader • word count: 2049 • to do

You and Chan were never really friends. You weren’t enemies by any means, but you weren’t friends. You knew of each other. And that was about it.

When you finally truly met and got to know each other it was during your last year of high school. Both of you still needed volunteer hours and wouldn’t you know it, you signed up for the same service. You actually passed each other on the way to sign up.

Being surrounded by dozens of different types of animals while also getting service hours seemed like a pretty good deal to you.

Plus, the cute boy that walked in with his sweatshirt only on one arm was an added bonus.

You had your first conversation together when you were assigned to the front desk, signing in the animals and their parents. Anytime someone was not standing directly in front of you Chan’s mind would wander. He could get distracted by Computer the Cat and feed her treats in a steady stream until she left him. Or he would start to spin around in his chair until he was sick and dizzy.

And he became very close to you. Unbeknownst to you, he would ask to share the same tasks as you (no matter how meaningless or nasty) and he didn’t take much convincing from you to do anything you didn’t want to. You never noticed his want to spend more time around you or his willingness to do jobs every volunteer complained about if you mentioned not wanting to do them. You thought you noticed how often you were paired together but never thought it was because of Chan, instead thinking you were looking too far into things or that the person in charge thought you two were good friends.

You were becoming friends. In the process of starting a friendship.

At the beginning, it wasn’t obvious. You would nod at each other in the hallway. And he smiled at you once in the cafeteria while you were with his friends. You felt like you were on cloud nine the rest of the day, though you couldn’t pin down why you felt the way. After a little while of working together and getting to know each other while playing with and bathing dogs you started to say a few words in passing then he would end up by your locker before class and then if either of you were ever alone, you would keep each other company.

You met his friends. He met yours. They had questions but you both said you were only gaining a friend.

By the end of the first semester, your friend groups had mixed. Everyone knew of each other and acted friendly when able. You and Chan began hanging out after school and before going to the office. You learned his favorite color and his favorite animal, his favorite food, his life story, everything he told you, you absorbed.

By Valentine's day Chan was falling. He couldn’t help it. You seemed to care about everything. Every detail anyone else would pass up or forget, you remembered. The candy Chan mentioned one time? You bought it for him a month later. The song he hummed to himself while he was doing inventory? You told him you liked the artist a few days after.

It was really your fault. How could you show interest in him in these small ways no one else really had before and not expect him to fall?

The moment he really “fell” he’ll remember forever. Someone brought in an Orange Dream Ball Python. They said it wasn’t too old but they couldn’t take care of it and didn’t know what to do. You paged for one of the vets and asked the person to wait a minute but as you got the words out they dropped a writhing bag onto the counter and half-ran out of the office. With no hesitation you grabbed the bag and peeked inside, seeing that it did, in fact, look like some type of python. You brought it to the back and Chan followed. The vet was busy and couldn’t walk out but seeing the animal fight against itself in the cloth bag made your face morph into the saddest frown he’s ever seen from you. You stuck the bag in one of your hoodie’s pockets and went on a mission for some kind of cage for it. You found a small cage and took the lid off.

*

“What are you doing?” Chan’s jaw had long been on the floor.

You looked at him like he was the crazy one.

To you, the answer and solution was obvious, but to everyone else in the situation (only Chan), nothing was going to happen until an actual adult walked into the room.

He still looked very confused and a tiny bit frightened, so you spelled it out. “I’m going to let him out. I don’t know how long he’s been in there or if he’s hurt, where they got him from, I’m going to release him into the cage and let him slither around.”

You placed the cloth bag into the cage. Chan took three half-steps backward. The bag fell open and you slowly tug at the other end of it until the snake falls onto the plastic cage.

The snake isn’t too big. It’s sort of small. But it’s still a snake.

It balls up in the middle of the cage and hides in itself. Chan hears a small noise of adoration come from you and you sit in a chair, watching the creature closely.

“Hey, little guy. What happened to you?”

*

The vet gave clearance on the snake. Said it was what the owner said it was and that it didn’t appear to be injured. They had an enclosure for it and one of the techs was sent to get some extra supplies.

You became attached to him immediately. You set the little cage he was in by your station at the counter, checking in with him any time you could. Chan watched as you became more and more okay with the reptile until you had him quite literally wrapped around your finger. The “little dude” slithered over your hands and your keyboard, your smile growing bigger and bigger when he did anything at all.

And as Chan watched you interacting with the snake he felt enamored. You would look up at Chan and point excitedly and he was lightheaded. He wanted to spill everything about himself. He wanted to tell you every secret he’s ever had. And he might have if the head vet mentioned some patrons might be afraid of the snake. You frowned and hid him behind the desk, smile turning sneaky.

He didn’t say anything. Just felt every emotion possible.

You wanted to keep the little snake so bad. Came to school the next day with a pout, recounting to Chan exactly what your parents said about it.

You said Chan saved the day when he said you would know the whereabouts of the snake at the vet’s office.

Every day that passed once Chan’s feelings truly set in they only grew. Most of his friends were quickly let in on the secret and a few of your friends found out soon after.

His feelings came to a head before prom. Chan’s mind began to race when he watched everyone’s prom-posals begin. The more they happened the more Chan began to wonder if you were going to get asked. Or ask someone else.  And the thought was unsettling to him. He didn’t want anyone else to think of going with you or for you to think of going with anyone besides himself.

Your best-friend was finally made aware of his feelings when Chan caved while planning the “perfect confession” and asked for advice. They would say they didn’t hold it over his head. Chan would disagree.

Chan took it as a compliment when they didn’t seem completely disgusted at the idea.

When he started planning, he also started preparing for the embarrassment he would endure if you were to say no. Embarrassment he did not plan for was the embarrassment in asking the head veterinarian for help and permission.

He hoped you wouldn’t notice the change in who you were working with throughout the day.

You did.

*

“Hey!” You stop halfway to turning the light in the stockroom off. Computer the Cat darts out between your legs and you hear the yelp of one of the nurses in his path. “Didn’t see you there.”

His attempt at not being suspicious is anything but good. “Hello.”

“You weren’t at the front desk with me today,” You scrunch your face and lean against the door. “You know how awkward the silences are when you’re not close to the person you’re working with? I’ll answer it for you. Very. It was awful and as far as I’m concerned it’s all your fault.”

He scratches the back of his neck and pushes the stack of paper towels to the left. “Sorry. I asked if I could do more work alone today. I guess I should have warned you.”

You shrug your shoulders and let the door close. You sit on the stool he was using earlier. “It’s not like a real problem or anything. I just missed you. Is everything okay?”

Your genuine concern and thoughtful expression eat away at him until his straight expression breaks into a light chuckle and smile. “Yeah. I just had some stuff on my mind today. It’s okay, promise.”

You nod and jump up, going out of your way to bump your shoulder into his on your way to the door. “Well, if you get tired of doing inventory or being alone, come see me. I’ll ignore more of my work to talk to you.”

“I’m sure I’ll see you later.”

Chan breathes out and bangs his head against the metal shelves as the door closes behind you. He shuts his eyes tightly, rethinking every step of his plan.

*

With an hour and a half left of the day with no attempt at the plan happening every time the head vet passes Chan, constant watch-tapping occurs.

Chan sees you cleaning out one of the cages and sets his plan into motion. He pours a few cat treats into a bowl and corrals Computer the Cat into an empty exam room. She tolerates Chan enough for him to set up his sign. He adds more food to her bowl to keep her in place and walks out of the room.

He catches you as you’re washing your hands, the smaller dog cages fully cleaned and redecorated. “Hey,”

“Hello.” You flick some of the water on your hands at him and smile.

“Have you seen Computer?”

“I saw her earlier, why?”

“She was acting kind of strange earlier; I didn’t know if you noticed anything different.”

You pout slightly and shake your head. “No, where is she? What was she doing?”

Chan leans back into the door. “She keeps sneaking off into Room Three.”

“Poor thing, I wonder if she’s okay.” You walk into the hallway, leaving him to pick his heart off of his shoe.

You moving towards his surprise forces him to recover. He follows behind you, breathing in raspy breaths.

You walk into the room, looking up to first see Computer eating then seeing the sign. “Prom?” is written in big letters and you turn around quickly.

Chan smiles at you with one of his eyebrows raised. A white rose is in his hand and he holds it out to you. “I don’t know if I can handle asking but I will if you want me to.”

“You don’t have to ask again.” Your ears go pink and your smile grows as you take the flower from him. “Thank you and… yes. Yes. I will go to prom with you.”

He laughs and nods his head. “Great, good. Yeah. Okay.”

“I didn’t think you were going to ask me. I was hoping but didn’t think you would.”

“You were hoping?”

“Obviously.” You smell the flower and shake your head.

He scratches the back of his neck and rocks up on his toes. “Thank you. Prom.”

“Prom.” You repeat.

[stachmousworld]

Dear Dad, fuck you.

Pairing: Stuckony 

Summary: My take on Civil War, but with less property damage and as much betrayal and drama. 

TW: abuse both physical and verbal but not sexual (thank you Howard for your A+ parenting skills).

Ok, so you may cry and hate me at the end.

Also: This is the first installment of my universe A. The two others are: 

Dear Dad, fuck you Punishments

27 MINUTES AND 32 SECONDS AFTER THE CIVIL WAR

Tony would have never guessed it would have ended like it did. Not in a million years would he have thought that his dead dad would be his demise. He was dead for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t beat Tony, nor verbally abuse him anymore. He wasn’t there physically, and yet he managed, from the grave, to shoot him in the soul. Literally. There were no other words to describe the way he felt.

He couldn’t breathe, his head felt loud and light at the same time, he couldn’t stand straight but sitting down made the earth spin faster, if that made any sense. 

Eyes closed his thoughts spiraled out of the control and images. No. Memories of his dad stuck to his retina, giving Tony a full 3D experience, sound included. And eyes opened, reality dawned him: Steve and Bucky didn’t want him anymore.

You are a worthless piece of shit, that’s what you are.

I should have made your mom abort you.

I won’t pay for any ransom.

Why can’t you die?

Funny how when everything goes to shit, his dad is the first one he hears. Always. Tony was long used to his voice in his head, muttering death threats, insults, or influencing his suicidal thoughts.

Tony finally decided to sit on the couch.

“JARVIS, lights out”.

He flinched at the sudden darkness. His left eye twitched. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea, after all. He’d rather suffer under the artificial lights than…his breath quickened and his thoughts spiraled. He could feel hands on his shoulders. A fist to his left eye. A blow on his lower back. A sharp pain to his right wrist…

The lights suddenly went on. Tony gasped, body shivering from the phantom pain, the adrenaline forcing him to stay alive through all his tortures, while shock and uncertainty chained him close to reality.

Focus Tony. You can do it, whispered a soft motherly voice. He wailed at the sound of her voice. She was the only one he heard when everything went to shit. Not his mom or Ana, Edwin’s wife. No. Hers. He called her mammina even though Howard would have had a heart attack hearing him. She was a nurse, who used to take care of him every time he was kidnapped. All 7 times.

She was a middle age black woman, who had worked as their personal nurse in case of emergencies. She had given him more love in the first few months after his first kidnapping than both of his parents in years. 

She’d smell like vanilla and cinnamon and talk softly. She’d always have a twinkle in her eyes every time she’d tell him a story. Tony used to be so thrilled to listen to her. Whatever the kind of story, whether it was fairytales or made-up ones from her life, he’d feel as if he was a part of it. She never made him feel worthless. She even learnt Italian for him, calling him her Tesorio, when he’d show her his grades reports and inventions, Cucciolo when Howard or Maria were missing his birthdays, and Luce dei miei Occhi, whenever she saw him.

If he’d been her light, she’d been his sun in the darkest night. He couldn’t recall one moment when he didn’t hear her voice calming him, cheering him, reassuring him. Even she wasn’t here physically, she was still in his head. Always.

Her death had hit him hard. Harder than his parents. Harder than the Jarvis. She had always been his pillar. His guide in life. He could recall a thousand proverbs, phrasing, advice for each different situation in life. She had prepared him for the real world, and yet, he somewhat felt like a failure. After her murder (she was shot while going to church), he had totally lost touch with reality. His parents had been dead for a few years by then and Jarvis and Ana for less than 2 years.

Tony should have been seen it coming. Everyone died because of him.

He went to the funeral and sat in the back of the church, feeling like an intruder. He had jumped to his feet a few minutes in the ceremony and tried to run out, when his mammina’s daughter, Celestia, intercepted him, calling him in front of the entire church, his name resonating in the holy building. He could still hear what she said, loud and clear.

“Tony, my baby brother. Mom wanted you with us, your brothers and sisters. Don’t run, please. Luce dei miei Occhi, come back to us.”

It only took a few words for him to feel the sun. The light he hadn’t expected to see again.

At the end, he found more than a mom, he had a family.

And every year he went to each of their birthday. He had[AB1]  two baby siblings, two older brothers and one older sister, nieces, and nephews and even grandparents. They all accepted him for what he was and never used him, nor his money. They welcomed him when he was down, teaching him how to recover with love, a lot of talking and proof of fatherly/motherly love.

To say he’d been surprised, when he had to witness an “argument” between one of his nieces and her dad, would be a euphemism. He had feared the violence, the insults and other dismissal, but had been floored. They both had decided to go to their room for a few moments, the time to cool down and then talked in the living room in calmed voices. Not ones had he experienced an argument in his new family, even the most vocal ones, which didn’t end up calmly.

Never in his life had he seen a more functional family. More props to burn Howard’s grave.

“Sir,” JARVIS urged him.

Tony focused on his surroundings. DUM-E held a poisonous smoothie under his nose. How hadn’t seen him before?

“No, thanks, DUM-E”, he replied softly. “I feel a bit…nauseous”

DUM-E chirped sadly but moved away.

“Sir, are you all right?” JARVIS enquired worried.

“Yes, thank you, J’” Tony replied softly.

Tony stayed down for a moment. His breathing was back to normal and his migraine was gone. Maybe he should go to his bed and take a nap. He didn’t dare ask Jarvis for how long he’d been awake. He’d work on the prototypes later anyway.

           He stood up, wobbling on his feet and made his way to the doors.

You should keep Cap’s name out of your mouth, Boy. He was worth ten of you.

He never was slacking; you should take example on him…not that you’d be able to reach his level anyway.

You may be a genius, but you still couldn’t free yourself. What are you, 9? 10? You’re old enough to get away from these clowns. Kidnapping? I call it attention seeking.

At your age, Steve fucking Rogers fought against bullies despite his asthma and scoliosis. What’s your excuse? Go back to work!

Tony tried to tune out the voice, but they kept getting louder.

“Stop!” He screamed panicked.

“Sir? Your heart rate is to high, do you need Dr. Banner?”

“No!” He exclaimed. “No,” he repeated softer. “I’m okay”.

Lies. JARVIS’s silence spoke volume.

“I’ll…Where are the capsicle couple?” he asked uncertain.

“On their floor. They had restricted the access.”

Tony ignored the tug in his heart.

“To whom?”

J’ took his time to reply. It didn’t comfort Tony at all.

“Only me, huh?”

Silence.

“If I had wanted you to be silent, I would have put you in a coffee machine, J’. But thanks for looking after me.”

“It is my duty and my honor to do so.”

Tony went back to the couch, took his clothes off, staying in underwear and laid down. The lights went down to a semi darkness.

“Where are the others?” Tony mumbled, half asleep.

“With the Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes, Sir.”

Tony snorted. J’ must be really mad at them to use their titles, he thought, dizzily. As he closed his eyes, he felt the embrace of his mommina and a kiss on his forehead.

 DURING THE CIVIL WAR

Today was a good day, so Tony had thought. He wasn’t late in his projects, he signed contracts, surprising Pepper to silence (“No, I’m not going to die, again.” “Are you sure Tony?” Grunts in response.), he had even eaten his breakfast, lunch and snack. It was good day. Until Bucky came back to God knew where, dressed in a blue midnight suit. Steve was also wearing a suit. And by the look on their face, Tony believed he’d missed something and messed up already. 

He probably had forgotten an anniversary. But even as he racked his brain he couldn’t think of a single anniversary. Christmas was in a few days and nothing remotely important happened in this month. Nothing worth being celebrated. So what?

“I’m sorry”, Tony said unsure. He didn’t even know why he was apologizing and couldn’t questioned J’. Glancing at the others, he could tell they knew about this “important” day. And what was it with the grim faces?

“Tony,” Steve called gently. “Are you not coming?”

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?” he asked in the same vulnerable voice. God, he hated that. The tension was torture. He half expected Clint to jump in front of him and admit it was a prank. No. Cap would never participate in this kind of activities. And Bucky had always expressed his resentment against suits and tuxedos in general.

“Tony” Bucky sighed. “The cemetery”

“Someone’s dead!” Tony exclaimed fear pumping in his veins. He looked sharply around trying to find clue. The others didn’t let anything show. Even Bruce who was bad a hiding his emotion.

“Stop joking, man,” Clint said calmly. “You can drop the mask. We are your friends too, you know. No one is going to judge you for mourning your parents.”

Tony’s laugh erupted. They…he…what now? He tried to stop himself as Steve’s frown went lower and lower and morphed into a disappointed face. Tony bit his lips and coughed for good measures.

“Tony, can’t you be serious?”, Natasha said coldly. “Have some respect. We know it is hard for you…”

“You know?” He failed containing his hysterical laugh. It kept bubbling and escaping is control.

“Yes, we know.” Bucky intervened. “He was not only your father, but our friends. One of our closest, actually. I…regretted more than anything murdering them. If I could…If I had been stronger…”

“Don’t Buck, it was not your fault,” Bruce reassured him. “There was nothing you could have done to prevent that.”

Tony laugh died somewhere between Buck’s guilt and regret. Tony’s right hand felt too heavy, hanging by his side. He crossed his arms to relieve the tension.

“I won’t go.” He stated firmly.

“Why?” Bucky asked with a small voice. “Is it because of me? Because I could stay in the-”

“No Bucky. If you can’t go, I won’t. But Tony, we’ve known Howard the longest. He was our closest friend, don’t do that. He had helped finding Bucky when he was tortured and helped me adapting to my new body. He provided us unique gears. He was there for us. He…he had respected me despite my small height, my sickness. He saw the soldier in me. He believed in me,” Steve pleaded.

Tony felt the glares from the others and shuffled on his feet. He resisted the need to give in.

Stark men are made of iron, but you are none that. I don’t know who your father is, but it is certainly not me. Always crying, complaining…(laughter)

Look what you made me do! Stopping the production of weapon to built this…(throws the object at Tony’s face). You should thank me on your knees, boy! No one would do that for a burden like you.

“It is not the problem, Bucky, Steve. It has nothing to do with their murder or your friendship. You can go, but I won’t. I wasn’t going to, anyway, so it doesn’t change anything.”

Silence. Tony’s eyes stayed fixed on his biggest “threat”, Steve. He was red, not the sexy, embarrassing kind. No. The ugly kind. Tony widen his stance preparing for the worst. Steve would not hit him. He was 100% sure. But his words had the same effect anyway.

“Can’t you be more respectful, Anthony. Some of us didn’t have the chance to live a lavish lifestyle with caring parents. I don’t even know where my ma’ and pa’ are buried,” Bucky deplored.

Et tu, Brutus? Tony’s head snapped toward Bucky. What the hell? And “Anthony”, really? Bucky’s face revealed discontent. His eyes were narrowed and he stood tall and strong.

“I beg you pardon, James” Tony hissed annoyed.

“Tony,” Steve warned him, inching to stand in front of Bucky. Tony’s eyebrow went so high he felt a strain in his left eyelid.

“What?!”

“After everything they’ve done for you (to you supplied mammina’s voice). And you couldn’t do that? Going to their grave and commemorating their lives should be the bare minimal. After all, if it wasn’t for them, you’d be (loved) nothing,” Bucky spat.

“No…nothing!” Tony spluttered indignantly. “They were never around me. I didn’t even call them mom or dad, they had always been Maria and Howard. They were never there for any of my birthdays, celebrations, school representations, not even the annual parents-teacher meeting. I. Made. Myself. I was born alone, and I’ll die too.” He ended up breathless. He hadn’t wanted to spill these details. Hell, he hadn’t even talk about the worse of it.

“All I heard was “poor rich Anthony Edward Stark, mommy and daddy worked too hard to make the Earth a better world for me”, “poor me, I seek attention…”

The rest of Bucky rant was lost. His father words came back in full circle.

Then Sunset’s words “you were always too much. Too needy. Always seeking attention”.

Tiberius “I don’t know what I’d done with this attention seeking whore. Really Anthony is only good when he opened his legs. I don’t see the genius in him.”

Obediah “God, Tony, lay low for a few months and seek help. Closing the weapon sector, but for what? My attention? You didn’t need that for me to care for you. Don’t be delusional, what would your father say?”

Maria “Anthony, stop, touching my dress, you’re ruining it. (She called someone behind the 3-year-old Tony.) Hey, you! Go take Anthony to his room and locked it. (She went back to her conversation). If I had known he’d be so clingy I’d have given him some sleeping pills in his baby bottle. (Laughter).”

Mammina “Tony, why are you so far from me, come nearer. You know you can always come to me. (Tony mumbles a few words). An attention seeker? Baby no, where did you hear these words? (Tony stayed silent) Cucciolo, I would never lie to you, you know that. You are the cutest little child ever, and I have 3 of them. You’ve met them and they absolutely love you. You are the perfect big brother, Tesorio.”

Tony closed his eyes, took a sharp breath and straightened his back.

“You can all call me by any name in the book: whore, worthless piece of shit...” Bucky flinched, panicked. He opened his mouth, but Tony kept going. “Warmonger, Merchant of Death, attention seeker --” He spat the name. “...but it wouldn’t change the fact that the person you knew as my biological father was a disgusting man, and my biological mother an air-head bint”. Tony approached slowly from the soldiers. He felt enraged. How could Bucky even say that? If he wasn’t so angry, he’d cry at the ice-cold words of his lover, but he was on a rampage. “I should actually thank you. Thanks Bucky dear, you made me a huge favor: to not be in the same world as them”, he finished with a deformed smiled. He knew he looked demented. And for the first time in a long time, he didn’t care.

Bucky’s expression went from guilty to confused. He pressed his left hand flat on Tony’s collarbone to push him away or hug him, Tony couldn’t tell. He brought his own hand on top of Bucky’s, moving the vibranium one to his neck. Immediately, Bucky backed off horrified.

“Was it with this hand you choked her to death? God, this stupid bint couldn’t shut up! How many times she drugged me, and put me to sleep, because I was “too attention seeking.” He screamed at the top of his lungs. Bucky stared at him with an unreadable expression. Tony may have lost his got damn mind, and he didn’t care at all. He strutted to the elevator facing them.

“Do you hear that Howard, you “made me” Tony cackled. “I’d blow your grave, if it wouldn’t give you satisfaction”. As he entered the elevator, belly cramped by his laugh, he yelled through his tears. “Burn to hell Howard and Maria! Burn…”

   TEAM CAP 

“What the hell was that?” Clint said in shock.

“Stark lost his goddamn mind, that’s what it was,” Natasha replied faintly surprised, which said something.

Bruce was the only one not saying anything. Tony’s act had reminded him of…himself. But, no…Howard could have never abused him. Bruce shook his head clearing his mind. No, Tony just acting as a spoiled child. A very insulting one.

“Should we go check on him?” Bruce asked with mixed feelings. Tony had the chance to have parents providing for them and he literally wish them hell. The Hulk pushed his walls. Bruce took a few deep breaths. Tiny tin man sad, Hulk repeated in his head. Bruce didn’t even try to explain the situation, Hulk wouldn’t understand the situation.

Bruce put his head in his hands. He could feel the headache creeping.

“No.” Stave said categorically. He had his Captain voice. “I don’t know who this man was, but I’m...” His voice broke. “...disgusted by this behavior. It was not our sweet Bambi,” Steve finished lamely.

Silence.

“I guess Natasha; you were right in your report on him,” Bucky commented defeated.

“And I was starting to believe that I had been mistaken,” she reflected disappointed.

“What are you doing to do?” Clint asked tired.

“What do you mean?” Bruce answered, head still down.

“Are you going to bench him? Because I don’t trust someone who could say that and act like a maniac. And what about your relationship? I know it’s not our business, but we are family. A fucked-up one, but still.”

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed. Bucky had this faraway look in his eyes. His left-hand twitching next to him. Whatever he’d say, he’d not be able to get out of the loop Tony had pushed him in. Steve massaged his own temples.

“Is it how you all feel?”.

Everyone raised their hand, even Bucky.

“Ok. He’s benched. I’ll tell him tonight at the dinner. As for our relationship…” He took a deep breath. “If we can’t trust him to have our backs on missions…” He left the rest unsaid.

“We’re coming with you!” Clint declared out of the sudden. The rest followed slowly, still under the effect of Tony’s outburst. “Give us 10 to change and we’ll meet you at the Quinjet or the car?”

“Quinjet. It’s quicker that way. They were buried upstate.” Steve answered quickly, as Bucky fled. Steve followed him worried. He waved at the rest of the group and entered the elevator, next to his lover.

“Do you think he is…ok? He looked like he’d do something crazy. And that laugh…” Bucky’s all body trembled.

Steve hugged him and kissed the crown of his head. Bucky went lax in his embrace. He sniffed a few times as Steve murmured sweet nonsense to his ears. It opened the gate for their tears. Steve didn’t want to end their relationship. Tony had been his home in this century, helping him and proving him wrong from left to right. But…he had to be strong for Bucky and, most importantly, the team. He resisted the need to go to the workshop, pounding on the tainted windows, and confront Tony.

It must be a big misunderstanding. It had to be.

Please Howard and Maria, forgive Tony, he found himself praying silently. He himself had wished for his dad to survive the war and his mom to see him become a man. Please God, let it be a big misunderstanding.

If Tony apologized tonight, Steve would take him back, no judgements. He’d be benched for a couple of days, but Steve would hold to him for as long he’d let him. The pain in his heart matched the distress in Bucky’s eyes.

“You know him, he probably is working to cool down. Anyway JARVIS is here to help him if he needs anything.”

“I would have never thought he’d blown up like that. I read the psychological report of Natasha but dismissed it. Tony had forgiven me and given me a new arm. He even went into a relationship with us. How couldn’t we that side of him?”

Steve shrugged. When he thought about it, Tony had never been particularly keen on talking about his parents. Jarvis and Ana, ok. At first, even Steve had thought they were his godparents, not the butler and his wife. And when Bucky told stories about Howard, Tony tended to shy away and changed the subject. Steve was now frowning. Something dark and ugly woke up in the pit of his mind.

“Well, I don’t know. At first, I thought he never liked talking about them because he missed them, but after what we’ve just witnessed, I’d say he really hates them.”

“Do you think they could have been more than distant parents? He said stuff about his mom drugging him and his dad being a monster. But Howard had never been like that, right Steve?” Bucky asked, guilt pouring in his voice.

Steve heard the rest of his questions loud and clear. Were we so blind that we inflicted emotional pain to our lover? And the most important, what if it was true? Steve couldn’t reconcile the image of Howard, sweet and joyful Howard, and the one from Tony’s memories. If Steve…he swallowed with difficulty. If he were to believe Tony, and a big part of him already did, because Tony had never seen so raw, begging for them to believe him through his rage, Steve would set the entire cemetery on fire.

So, he hugged Bucky tightly and tried to reassure him.

“Sweetheart, no. Don’t do that. You can’t guilt yourself for that. Even blinded by his anger, Tony didn’t blame you for their death. He was angry and lashed out. He would have done the same or worse if it was me.” Steve refused to talk about the thanks for their murder. What the hell, Tony! Steve thought anger flaring in his chest. It wasn’t fair for Bucky, his sweet love he shouldn’t have to relive his worst moments. They survived the Depression, war, ice/Hydra and they were still together. Has everything been a sham? They had given their life for a better future, putting their lives in their friends’ hands, who were supposed to hold the peace torch, when Steve and the other soldiers couldn’t anymore.

But, it also explained why Tony was so jagged, his control issues, lack of trust, insecurities, big mouth…

It wasn’t fair for him too, their Bambi…Steve contained his tears. The mere thought of little Tony being afraid, unsafe (Drugged, he said) and sad, made him sick and furious. 

Steve deflated. 

No, Howard couldn’t…he hadn’t…

“He thanked me…” Bucky said broken. He pushed Steve, bending and heaving. Steve massaged his neck slowly.

“He didn’t mean it, Babe. He wanted to rile us up. You’ve seen how hysterical he was…”

It took a few minutes for Bucky to come back to himself, and even then, his face had a greenish undertone. A fit despite the serum.

“JARVIS, could you tell us if Tony is not okay, please?”

The AI took a few moments to reply.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky nodded silently, while Steve cringed. What a fucking day.

   POST CIVIL WAR

Tony woke up at the sound of an alarm. He groaned and covered his head.

“Sir, the others are already here. They have prepared dinner and request your presence.”

“What are the odd I could charm my way out of this trap?” Tony asked sarcastically.

“Slim to none. Emphasis on the none.”

Tony laughed and stood up. His left eye was blurry, but alas, he didn’t have the time to fix it, as well as his hand, which gave him hell. Stark men are made of iron, he said out loud to give him more strength.

The voice of mammina replied full of wit. “Oh, really? I don’t know about the Stark men but my little Tesorio is made of love. No one can take love away from you. It makes you fly, melt, explode, you feel invincible. Once you love, Tonio, you could rule the world, and bend any types of iron. I love you, my Luce. I’m proud of you, no matter what.”

Tony wiped his tears. I hope you are still proud of me. As he entered the elevator, his phone rang. One of his little brothers.

“What do you want Darius?” Tony asked upfront.

“Listen, listen. Go on, talk to him” Darius replied in a hush tone.

“’Onc’ ‘Ony! Onc’ ‘Ony!”

Tony cooed and felt his inside melt. His baby nephew, Anthony, was just a few months old and already a beam of joy in his life. He had more pictures than he dared to admit. Sue him, his nephew was the cutest, with his little dimples and crooked smile. But then again, his other niece and nephew had him wrapped around their chubby fingers.

“Hello big boy, Oncle Tony is so proud of you!” He cooed in his “I’m going to melt inside and have cavities” voice.

“Do you imagine our surprise when his first words were ‘Ony and then Onc’ Ony’. I swear to God, we won’t invite you anymore. That’s the third baby doing that stuff. Are you sure you don’t have any magic, bro?”

Tony laughed through his happy tears.

“I guess I have some magic left from mammina”.

“True, true”, he conceded. “Are you still coming for the commemoration?”

“Of course! I have never missed one and wouldn’t dare. I don’t want mammina to haunt me and whoop my ass.” Tony joked.

“Pfff. She’d never do that. You were always her favorite, didn’t know why. We knew she worked for a white and rich family (Tony rolled his eyes amused), and then we saw your scrawny ass and lost puppy eyes. Couldn’t resist this kid who needed to be our protector, even though, he was pocket size.”

“Hey! Although I liked the beginning of your story, the wording could be better. I never was pocketsize; we call it fun size.” He pouted.

“Who? The members of your “fun size” group”.

Tony grunted. Darius laughed and bid him goodbye in a hurry. Apparently, his nephew had taken his diaper off and was smearing poop on the white walls. Tony’s laugh resonated in the stilled elevator. J’ opened the doors as he placed the phone in his pocket.

The sight in front of him made him frown. He prepared himself to stay calm and have a mature conclusion to their arguments like he’d seen with his siblings. Mammina’s advice about love was about to come handy. They at least deserve the truth and some apologies. Hearing them talk about his parents so fondly had made him angry, jealous, then sad. Why was he not enough? Could he have done better, be a more obedient child… no. He wouldn’t go there. He had to stay clear-headed.

 Steve and Bucky had changed clothes. They were now wearing hoodies and joggings. Their comfort clothes. Like him. He had found Steve’s hoodie and Bucky’s jogging, in one of his private stashes. He would deny taken them and some other of their items because it soothed him.

This was going to be long. He took a deep breath as he walked towards the kitchen. The rest of the team were standing up around the table.

Steve went on Tony’s left and Bucky next to Steve. Tony stared at them sadly. The fluffy conversation with Darius seemed like years ago.

“You had fun on the phone,” Clint noticed calmly. Almost too much. It was such a 180 with his jerk personality.

“It’s not every day that you nephew’s first words are “Onc’ Ony”. Well, the two others did the same. So, I was kinda happy.”

“Lying Stark? You don’t have no family left,” Natasha accused him, eyes narrowed.

“So, family is only the people from your blood, got it.” Tony replied without showing any annoyance. He took his phone, scrolled down a few family pictures and showed them one, where his papà was still alive. Before cancer took him.

He introduced each member, referring them as his baby brothers or older ones. His finger trembled as he reached the head of the family. Mammina and Papà. A little Tony could be seen standing proudly next to two smaller kids.

“It was my mammina.” He explained softly. “She was the best woman in the world. She took care of me when I got kidnapped. She was always here to help me, heal me. She built me.” He threw a glance at Bucky, who was frowning.

“Kidnapping?” Bruce asked in disbelief.

“Tony…Why would they kidnap you?” Steve asked, as skeptical as Bruce.

“I’m a genius. I was the one proofing Howard’s blueprint. By the age of 7, I had improved one of his Jericho. But people kidnapped me because of money. They thought Howard would pay them. He never did. (Tony raised a hand to cut the protestations.) J’ will send you all the medical reports and police ones. He will also forward my file from CPS. I know it’s hard to believe it. He was your friend and never showed his other side. When you both went down, he died too. He became…” Tony choked on his words.

“How can we believe you, when you were so maniac, this afternoon? You hurt Bucky and used his guilt to make a point.” Natasha asked, arms crossed.

“If you don’t believe the official papers, you should ask Coulson and Fury. They won’t lie to you.”

“What?” Bruce blurted.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked concerned.

“I don’t have the envy, nor the will to go through the verbal and physical abuse of my parents. Coulson and Fury were there to retrieve me from Shield office after each kidnapping. They couldn’t do anything because my dad financed the entire organization,” Tony explained bitter. “Call me selfish but this woman and this man (he showed mammina and papà), were my real parents and those are my brothers and sisters, grandparents…They are MY family. They chose me when my real parents didn’t.”

The room grew silent. Tony tap his left eye and groaned in pain.

“Are you okay, Tony?” Bruce inquired, with a certain unease.

He waved at Bruce, brushing his concern. Gosh, it itched. Fuck it, they already knew too much already. With his right index, he pressed firmly his temple and with his thumb pressed the corner of his eye. He felt the prosthetic pop out, disconnecting from the electronical socket linked to his brain. After all these times, he still felt proud of himself. He had succeeded in something his dad could have never. 

Everyone can create a missile Howard, but it takes a genius to create something so complex connected to the brain.

“Tony!”

Bruce’s voice bloomed in the room.

“The fuck!” Clint swore.

“Bambi?”

Tony finally paid attention to his surroundings. The lack of pressure on his socket almost made him come. If only he had his cotton swab and alcohol. He gritted his teeth to recede his pleasure. It wasn’t the right time to be distracted.

He turned blindly on his left and bumped against a wall. A human one. Tony raised his head and met Steve’s blurry ones.

“We are so sorry Tony. We didn’t know. It certainly explained why you didn’t want to talk about them.”

Tony frowned. They believed him, like that.

“Don’t you want to read the files, before trusting me?” He asked with a small voice.

Bucky shook his head.

“No, Doll. If you want, you’ll talk to us about it, but we won’t read anything. We trust you. Like you trusted me with my issues.”

Tony was left speechless. He had expected screams, fat tears and a few blows. It was anticlimactic at best. He tried to remember what Darius had told him about reconciliation. Now was his time to “apologize”.

“Ok. Ok. I have some apologies to say.” He held his hand to stop them, from interrupting him. “I should have talked to you frankly. If we had discussed about them, none of that would have happened. I should have understood that the people they were with you and with me were totally different. You’ve known them as your friends. And you wanted to visit your friends and not them as my parents.”

“That’s stupid, Bambi, and you know it. If we’d known what they did to you, we would have been pissed, and maybe broke a tombstone or two.”

“Steve!” Tony screamed flabbergasted. He glanced at Bucky who shrugged smugly.

“I told you he was a little punk.”

Steve didn’t even resent this affirmation. He was smirking (SMIRKING) proudly.

“So…you are okay?”

Clint looked so out of it. Natasha didn’t look like she really believed Tony. As if pulling his own eye wasn’t proof enough.

“What Clint meant, is that we still don’t trust you, Stark. And we had decided to bench you.”.

Tony step back, eye going from each of them to stop on Steve’s pleading ones.

“What?”

“We weren’t sur you were ok. What you said without context scared us.”

Tony’s left hand flew to his neck as a reassuring gesture. He massaged the place under his jaw. Bucky made a strangled noise, making him stop.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I should have never done that and sorry for thanking you. Even though, I am still relieved they are dead. I wished it wouldn’t have been by your hands.” Tony apologized ashamed; face pinched in a pained grimace. He sighed deeply. “I understand all of your concern and I…would stay out until you deem me worthy.”

Bucky surged forward pushing a frozen Steve. He grabbed Tony’s face, pressing their foreheads together.

“You. Are. Not. Worthless” Bucky said through clenched teeth. “I don’t care what Howard or Maria said to you, but you are definitely not worthless.” Tony couldn’t avert his eyes and felt compelled to spill more truths, Howards truths.

“You should keep Cap’s name out of your mouth, Boy. He was worth ten of you.” He mumbled eyes now closed. He couldn’t handle to see the pity in those baby blue.

Steve gasped audibly. Bucky’s hand gripped tightly his face, pleading him to stop.

“Cap and Sarge were never slacking; you should take example on them…not that you’d be able to reach their level, anyway.”

Bucky’s breath hitched. Tony felt two additional arms around him.

“You may be a genius, but you still couldn’t free yourself. What are you, 9? 10? You’re old enough to get away from these clowns. Kidnapping? I call it attention seeking.”

Bucky stepped away, breathing loudly. You have done it, Tones, they are going to leave you. They’ll see that you are not good enough and leave you, he thought darkly.

“Buck!”

“Bruce”

Tony opened his eyes just in time to witness Bucky breaking his kitchen counter and Bruce’s departure. Clint and Natasha went after Bruce, leaving them all alone. What the hell just happened! Steve walked carefully to Bucky. He looked wildly around him, in defensive posture. Steve’s hands were raised in front of him.

“Bucky, everything is ok. There is no threat.”

“Tony,” he replied miserably before breaking down. He sobbed in Steve’s arms, eyes locked on Tony. He raised an arm to make it come. Anthony E. Stark would have deflected and made a run for it, then hid in his workshop, but Tesorio raised by his fierce mama sucked it up and approached. Steve let go of Bucky and embraced them both, crushing them both into his chest.

Tony hissed in pain. Steve backed away.

“What is wrong? Did we hurt you?”

Tony shook his head. His right wrist was, again, acting up. He should have never slept on it. He massaged his wrist firmly and waited for a little whirling sound.

           Immediately, the servos in the socket released the prosthetic. Tony moaned as the pinched nerve in his human upper wrist relaxed. He held his right hand with his flesh one, as he kept massaging the injured one.

“J’, pull up the blueprint for the latest version of Dub 4 and add a note to look for any rust. And also contact Dr. Cho, for my usual appointment.”

“Done, Sir.”

“Thanks.”

Still in his thought, it took him more time to notice the heavy silence. 

Oh. 

Steve was again in his personal space, Bucky on his right. They both eyed  him with awe and sadness.

“I was 7, my third kidnapping. They wanted me to build something or were mad at my dad for not coming nor paying them. Knowing I was a genius they had the brilliant idea to extract my eye. I was unconscious. I guess.” Tony explained while massaging under the eye pocket. “The hand came before I went to MIT. I had already won multiple engineering /robotic prizes. They had wanted me to build a missile, the first one. Guess Obediah was already dealing under the table. When I didn’t want, they severed my hand. I was conscious.” Tony stated numb. He hated thinking of his past defenseless self. He wished he could hug and protect his younger self.

Bucky pushed Steve aside and scooped Tony in his arms. He squealed but didn’t try to escape for once. Steve followed them briskly.

Once in their room, Bucky laid him in the middle of the bed and hugged him. Sweet nonsense pouring out of his mouth. Tony tried to ask Steve for help, but he joined them and did the same. Tony closed his eyes, fighting his weaker side.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

His persona broke piece by piece.

“I want my mammina,” he cried loudly, tears rolling down his cheeks. He missed her warmth, her smile, her scent. She should have been here instead of him. He destroyed so many lives building weapons while she was killed by them. Mammina, forgive me, please, he prayed in his heart.

“We know, Doll”

“We are sorry, Bambi”

“We’ll make it up for you”

“We love you”

Bucky’s strong body in front of him prevented him from curling on himself. He placed his head his heart, as Steve pressed his body in his back.

Soft kisses made him relaxed. She used to do that when he had nightmares, kissing his demons away.

“I ‘ove you, too” He confessed softly.

“Tell us about them, your family.”

When I was 3, I met this nurse. She was…

   Notes: Two baby siblings one his Kareem, Ahmaud.

Two older brothers Darius, Joseph

One older sister Janice

Mother masterrliiiisssstt ✨✨✨🐱‍🏍

[drakewalkerfantasy]

Flames of yesterday: Chapter 13

Summary: 5 years ago they made a mistake. They were two broken men drinking away their love life issues, and one girl trying to help a friend. What the night leaves them with are two broken hearts and one nearly broken friendship. 5 years later, two are still broken and another one fixed. But what happens when they all meet again? Will it open old wounds and bring all the their insecurities rushing back?  Or will it mend the two hearts still looking for warmth, unable to find it after their parting?

Words: 4606

Authors notes: A crossover of Open Heart and The Elementalists, a collaboration series by @drakewalkerfantasy​ and @fluffy-marshmallow-heart​

Sorry that it took us awhile to come back with another chapter and thank you to everyone who send your asks. We really appreciate this :) Also this chapter got lengthy, but I hope you will love it.

Ethan x OH MC (Diana)

Beckett x TE MC (Oriana)

**Warnings: **

Leaving Diana and Oriana sleeping, Ethan and Beckett walked across the street to Donahue’s, taking a seat at the bar. Ethan ordered them both a scotch on the rocks. The men were silent as the bartender made their drinks and set them down in front of them. Ethan tipped his glass in salute.

“To your successful surgery. You were perfectly adequate in there.” He took a sip while Beckett rose an eyebrow.

“Adequate? Dr. Ramsey, I know we don’t know each other well, but I can assure you that nothing I have done in my entire life has been classified as ‘adequate’. I’m more used to the term ‘brilliant.’”

“And cocky.” Ethan grumbled, taking another sip.

Beckett just shrugged. “Sometimes cockiness is earned. You of all people should know that.”

Ethan sighed. “Okay, Dr. Harrington, I guess I can say that I understand why you’re the top surgical intern and everyone speaks so highly of you…including Diana.”

“She’s also brilliant.”

Ethan agreed. “She really is. She’s…one of a kind.” He eyed Beckett, who sat there nursing his drink quietly. “You’re not one for small talk I take it?”

“Not exactly. It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just that most people look at me and how I carry myself, and assume I’m a snob. It…takes me awhile to warm up to someone. Not to mention, we have a bit of a history together. One that I’ve basically managed to forget until starting at the hospital. It has caused problems with my wife and I all over again.”

Ethan nodded slowly. “So, your wife knows about when we…your wife knows how both you and Diana have met me before?”

Beckett gave him an incredulous look. “Of course, she does. She’s everything to me, we don’t have secrets. I told her before she and I became serious. I mean, I was always serious about her, but…it was difficult on her to know that Di and I had been intimate, and in such a provocative way…” He trailed off as a small smile formed on his lips. “However, if it wasn’t for Di, then we would never have gone on our first date. Ori always says she fell in love with me on that date.” His smile broadened at the memory.

Ethan watched the way Beckett had completely brightened when talking about his wife. Wracking his brain, Ethan realized that Beckett never looked like that when he was around Diana. How could he have missed that? It’s his job to be observant, and he’s one of the best diagnosticians in the country. “How long have you all been friends?”

Beckett glanced at him.  “I’ve known Diana almost my whole life. Oriana and I got together five years ago. With Diana’s help.”

“Five years?” Ethan asked, confused.

“Yes, just a few months after…” He trailed off, clearing his throat. “Long story short, Di and I stopped speaking for a while. And one day, Diana approached Oriana and somehow managed to convince her to give me a chance, even though we didn’t know each other, we’d never met. But…” His face turned bright red. “I’d had a huge crush on her for several years already.”

“If you already wanted to be with someone, then why did you…”

“I was drunk. And it’s not like it didn’t feel good, it felt amazing. But it was wrong. That’s why we stopped speaking. That’s why she went to Oriana. To try and fix things between us. Di and I…we were never romantic. And we never will be. Growing up together, everyone expected us to eventually fall in love and get married, but…that spark…it was just never there.”

Ethan looked at him thoughtfully. “That’s why you originally didn’t want to participate that night, isn’t it? I remember she practically had to beg you. I knew you weren’t a couple because of that.”

Beckett looked away, embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red. “I really don’t like thinking about it. And suddenly seeing you again forced me to think about it. I didn’t want to know you. I didn’t want Di to know you. I hated you after that night.”

“That’s…understandable.” Ethan said quietly. Beckett still wasn’t looking at him, so he decided to bring the conversation back to Oriana. That seemed to get him talking before, it should again.

“I know today scared you, Beckett. I didn’t realize your wife was pregnant. Hell, I didn’t realize you were married.”

“She’s almost as far along as Dolores.” He replied absentmindedly. “Though I’m a bit surprised you didn’t know I was married. Everyone else does. I literally have a picture of her in my locker. And an ultrasound picture.”

Ethan chuckled lightly. “I guess I wasn’t paying attention.”

Beckett rolled his eyes. “Yes, you were. You’ve had jealousy written all over you since we started at the hospital. You assumed Di and I were together, and therefore didn’t pay attention to anything else.”

Ethan opened his mouth to argue but Beckett cut him off before he could. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve seen the longing, the respect, the passion, the…” Beckett paused a moment. “The love. My advice? For what it’s worth…don’t waste time denying your feelings. If there’s anything I’ve learned today…time is precious. You’re not going to know how she feels until you say something, do something. I wasted three whole years not introducing myself to Oriana. The two of you already know each other. There’s still chemistry after five years of not even knowing each other’s’ last names. Tell her. She may be more receptive than you think she is.”

Ethan swirled his drink around, the ice cubes clinking against the glass, deep in thought before Beckett cleared his throat to get his attention again. “And also…call me Beckett. You’re going to be important to Diana, which means you’re going to be important to me. So, stop calling me Dr. Harrington. Unless we’re at work. In which case, please, always call me Dr. Harrington.”

“It is a bit awkward, isn’t it? I didn’t expect to see either of you ever again.” Ethan chuckled.

Beckett put his glass down and turned to fully face him. “I didn’t either. But let me tell you something. If you hurt her, I will make you regret it. And what I’ll do is nothing compared to what my wife and Diana will come up with to do on their own.”

Ethan’s mouth fell open as Beckett turned back forward and took another drink calmly, as though he’d never made a threat. Finishing the drink off, Beckett stood up. “I’m going to head back. You coming?”

“I’m…going to have another drink. I’ll see you later.”

Beckett nodded and left the bar, heading back across the street to see if the girls were awake, leaving Ethan’s mind whirling, completely lost in thought at everything he learned that day, especially the relationships between everyone. He couldn’t tell if Beckett still had a problem with him, but considering everything he said, Ethan’s leaning towards no. He may have a strange way of saying it, but it sounds like he wants Ethan to make a move. It caused his heartbeat to speed up just thinking about all the ways he wanted to kiss Diana.

-----------------------------------------------

A couple of weeks later Diana walked through the empty corridors of the hospital running straight into no one else but Ethan Ramsey himself, gasping from the contact. She felt Ethan’s arms catching her by her waist preventing her from the fall. Their heartbeats fastened from the contact and their eyes meet.

This was the first time since Dolores that they found themselves alone again. Their bodies pressed, their faces so close that they could see even the smallest features of each other. Ethan’s eyes flickered to her lips and his breath caught from unbearable desire for them to meet. Words that Beckett said floating to his mind:

“don’t waste time denying your feelings.”

And yet here he is, doing exactly this. Trying to ignore the pull between them. Trying not to think of the last time their lips met. He closed his eyes for a second, warring with himself, while more words inside his mind made his heart flip.

“She may be more receptive than you think she is.”

He groaned quietly, listing all the reasons they shouldn’t be together. All the reasons he shouldn’t kiss her. But his face moved closer to hers, their lips almost brushing and their breath mingling. He froze searching her eyes, giving her time to pull away, but she didn’t. When he finally was ready to give up and finally kiss her his pager beeped pulling them both apart, his hands falling to his sides.

“Dr. Ramsey, I.... I’m sorry. I was thinking about patient treatment and I... I didn’t notice you.” mumbled Diana.

“It’s okay. I should have seen this coming, but... I got distracted...” said Ethan, fumbling with his pager. Quickly checking the message he received, his brows furrowed. “I... I need to go.”

“If everything okay?” asked Diana worriedly “if Dolores and little Ethan doing fine?”

“Yes... yes, they are doing great actually. Dr. Harrington done an excellent job. They both are out of impending danger.” replied Ethan. “and will be moved to postnatal ward in a matter of weeks.”

“Ohhhh, this is great news. Right?” smiled Diana, her hand finding his, squeezing it before letting go. Their fingers brushing lightly sending a shiver through both of them.

“Yes. This is.” said Ethan. They both standing still unable to move away, unable to take their eyes off each other. After some time, Diana was the first to break the silence.

“Dr. Ramsey, I... I need to get back to my patients,” spoke Diana chewing on her lower lip, the action alone draw Ethan crazy making him want to catch it between his teeth. “It was nice to see you,” added she after a moment of silence turning to leave...

“Wait...,” exclaimed Ethan catching her by her wrist gently without thinking. “I could use a favor,” said he, throwing a quick glance on his pager. “How busy are you right now?”

“All my patients are stable. As I said I just thought about patient’s treatment, but other than this I have nothing what needs my immediate attention. Do you need something?” ask Diana locking her eyes with Ethan’s, the proximity of them made her heart skip a beat.

“I just got paged that radiology got a new f.M.R.I. machine and Chief Emery ordered me to test it out. As they didn’t done it yet,” said Ethan with a note of annoyance in his voice. “Can I use you as guinea pig?” asked he still holding her hand.

“You want to stick me in f.M.R.I. and scan my brains?” asked Diana, raising her eyebrow questioningly.

“It’ll be easy. I’ll simply ask you a few questions and see which part of your brains react.” smirked Ethan, playful glint sparkling in his blue eyes.

“Uhhhh, what... kind of questions?” hesitantly asked Diana, stepping away from him, while he took a step forward backing her to the wall the space between them electrified.

“If you are too afraid or want to keep your secrets, I alway can be yours guinea pig and you can scan my brain instead,” he said lowering his lips closer to her ear. The breath of air skimming along her sensitive skin, making Diana inhale sharply, the slight shiver running through her spine. “Please, I really need this machine up and running. Will you help me?” more seriously asked Ethan taking a step back.

“Okay, I... I’ll help you,” replied Diana finally. “And so you know, Doctor... I have nothing to be afraid and no secrets to keep.” she replied throwing at him daring glance.

“Excellent. Come with me then,” said Ethan turning around heading toward the imaging lab, Diana following him.

After couple of minutes they reached the lab entering it together, Ethan softly placing his hand on her lower back, leading her in. A shiny white f.M.R.I. machine dominates the room.

“I will need to give you an injection of the magnetic contrast media, before going to control room.” he said, before adding softly noticing how she shifted uneasily “Are you sure it is okay? If not I can be a guinea pig for you. It’s really fine with me in case you are afraid of injections or small spaces.”

“Dr. Ramsey, it’s really unnecessary to worry about me. I’ll get the gadolinium. And can you keep this?”

“Diana, I cannot help myself but do it,” he whispered in a quiet barely audible voice, taking a beautiful gold chain with a small star from her hands. Their fingers brushing slightly. “Ummmmm...” started Ethan watching Diana filling a syringe with the contrast metal. “You may want to take your shirt and bra,” he said, his eyes flickering to her blossom and his cheeks started to burn.

“Doctor, if you wanted to get me out of my clothes... you should only ask,” said Diana teasingly looking him deep into his eyes, holding out the syringe. Slowly she unbuttoned her shirt taking it off and placing on the chair behind Ethan, her hand brushing his. After a moment of hesitation, she turned around looking at him over her shoulder. “Doctor, can you help me with my bra?” he could feel the heat spreading through his body and his eyes slide over her petit frame. Slowly as through the dream he came closer to Diana standing behind her, his hot breath skimming over her bare skin sending a wave of shivers through her. Unhurriedly he started to unclasp her bra, his fingers lightly touching her skin lingering there for a moment longer. His breath caught deep in his throat when the lace material slid from her leaving her chest bare. He could feel how his body reacted instantly when she turned toward him, standing just a whisper away.” I’m ready,” she murmured, her face raised up and she stood unmoving in front of him, the double meaning of her words made him gulp audibly placing his hand flat against her lower back. She feel his breath skimming over her lips and his face moved closer, internal warring clearly written in his eyes. After another heartbeat and a moment of hesitation Diana took a deep breath unwillingly stepping back. She took a robe hanging on the wall putting it on to cover her nakedness.  After this she laid flat on the table waiting for Ethan to approach her.

Gently taking Diana’s hand in his he palpated the veins in her arm, their eyes meeting for a split second, before performing intravenous injection. After what disposed of the syringe and pressed the buttons on the machine. watching Diana’s table slide into the donut of the massive magnet enclosure.

Leaving the magnet room, Ethan went to the enclosed room sitting at the workstation, checking on Diana through the glass.

“Can you hear me alright?”

“Loud and clear.” Diana’s voice came through the speakers. “Probably even too loud.” added she after a moment.

“Sorry,” said Ethan quieter after adjusting the volume “Let’s then begin our first scan,” continued Ethan powering up the magnet. He could hear how the machine started to humming, cycling, clicking and buzzing from the next room. “Okay, so far your brains looks like a brain. So far, so good. Now let’s test the detection of the contrast media. I will ask you a set of questions, to see how different parts of your brains would react on them.”

“What kind of questions?” asked Diana, something in Ethan’s voice hold the promise that this may get interesting and this promise made her excited and scared at the same time.

“Am I making you worried?” questioned Ethan, his heart skipping a beat when the set of questions lined up in his brain. He took a deep breath knowing that no matter how much it would cost him, but he must know the truth.

“N..no, You can ask whatever you want,” replied Diana, taking a deep breath, ready for any questions to come. “I have nothing to hide.”

“Soooo, let’s begin,” said Ethan softly. “What does makes you happy?”

“I...,” started Diana her minds working overtime, before she calmed down a little her voice flowing gently through the speakers making Ethan’s heart beat faster. “The people who are surrounding me. Who care about me. Who makes me who I am. The people who can make me grounded, who go through thick and thin for me and with me. The people who no matter what are here for me. Who do everything to make sure I’m safe and happy.”

Ethan’s hearts skipped a beat and his eyes landed on the screen, watching how Diana’s hypothalamus glowed slightly. Before asking a next question he took a deep breath.

Here goes nothing. I need to ask this. Just in case. Thought Ethan looking back at Diana through the glass.

“Do you have feelings for Dr. Beckett Harrington?” asked Ethan holding his breath, eyes focused on the screen trying not to miss anything.

“Of course, I have feelings for him,” exclaimed Diana before realization of what exactly was asked sinked onto her and her eyes widen. A subtle unseen smirk spread her lips. “I have feelings of respect, admiration...”

“That’s not what I meant,” protested Ethan, feeling a notes of teasing in her respond.

“Oh... didn’t you?” said Diana, her smile widened before disappearing from her face. And Ethan could see how her hypothalamus lightened once again, noticing an emotional respond of her brains. “I know what you have asked. I have no romantic feelings for Beckett. He is great and amazing, but I never seen him like this. But he’ll always be a bit older and more responsible brother, not by blood, but by choice. He always was there for me, always protected me. Seen me in my worst and best moments. I just... I cannot see him more than my brother, he is more than a blood... he is family I chose. He and Oriana are my family.” she spoke passionately, emotionally and her brains were lit brightly with every word. After a moment she stopped to speak, finally breathing out.

“I... hmmmmm,” Ethan cleared his throat, readying himself to another, last question. He hold his breath, feeling how his heart started to race. “Are you... are you involved with anyone romantically?”

“Does the work counts?” asked Diana teasingly, knowing quite well this wasn’t an answer he was looking for.

“Definitely not.” replied Ethan with impatience lacing his voice.

“Not fair,” pouted Diana. “But if you really wants to know... For this machine test purposes, than no... I’m not involved with anyone romantically,” stated Diana not missing another second and Ethan’s heart skip a beat when he seen a slight orange glow of another part of Diana’s brains. She didn’t lied, this he knew for sure, but she also didn’t tell the whole truth what made Ethan wonder if Beckett was right and Diana would reciprocate his feelings willingly if he would make a first step. And now, at this moment he knew for a fact that even if she didn’t have been involved with anyone romantically, some part of her wanted to be. And a memory of this person gave the strongest impulse to her hippocampus. He could read it nice and clear, right in front of his eyes. And without any doubts left in him, he knew that the person she wanted to be with was him.

Everything finally clicked together, her flirting with him, the constant pull between them and every single gaze they shared. Without thinking twice he quickly powered down the machine and raised up returning to the magnet room. His heart picking up the pace, thundering uncontrollably when he pressed the button making table slide back from the enclosure and Diana appeared in front of him. They eyes locked. Gently he helped her up to her feet and without even thinking for a second longer pushed her against the f.M.R.I. machine locking their lips in a passionate, hungry kiss. The kiss they both have been waiting and craving for five years.

He slipped his hand under Diana’s thigh lifting her leg up and around his waist, pressing harder into her. His hands exploring her body under the robe groaning into their kiss. His tongue thrusting inside her mouth swirling around hers. Their kisses grew hungrier and harder leaving them breathless. Their hands grabbing onto each other with desperation making them want more. As through the fog they could hear a faint sound of pager coming from Ethan’s waist making them unwillingly break the kiss both breathing heavily.

Quickly Ethan looked at his pager before meeting Diana’s gaze again, his heart beating uncontrollably taking in her disheveled state, realising he probably didn’t look better. Running his hands through his hair he took a step back, his mind filled with panicking thoughts.

What have I done... How could I allow this to happen. No matter how I want it... want her. I’m still her superior. We shouldn’t. I can ruin her career. I probably already done. thought he backing away from Diana toward the door.

“I.... I should... Sorry, I need to go. You should put your clothes back on. Sorry,” mumbled Ethan placing his hand on the doorknob without turning around, closing the door behind him. While outside the room he took a deep breath fleeing towards Harper’s office leaving Diana behind, feeling both glorious and pissed off.

The rest of the day for Diana passed uneventful and it seemed that Ethan was trying to avoid her once again. During the day she was able to finally decide on patient’s treatment what already showed first sings of success. She was already on her way out of hospital, when suddenly her pager beeped. She could feel how her heart flipped with hope while her eyes landed on the display and disappointed sigh left her lips. Quickly she went back to the hall where all interns were gathered. Diana’s eyes browsing through the crowd looking for her best friend. After a moment her eyes landed on Beckett and she moved forward standing next to him.

“Hey, do you have any idea why Chief Emery gathered everyone there?” she asked quietly Beckett, watching him to shake his head worriedly.

“Not a slightest,” replied he looking at Harper Emery standing up front with Ethan, carefully listening for what she about to say.

“Some of you may have heard already, then In a couple weeks’ time, will be annual National Medical Symposium in Miami. From our hospital I appointed Dr. Ramsey to attend this conference this year. Along him the board decided to send two interns who are on the top of their class and also already show the brilliant results during their internship in that hospital,” spoke Harper sternly throwing a glance on a stunned looking Ethan.

“We didn’t discuss me taking anyone along. I’m not a babysitter,” hissed Ethan.

“It was board’s decision,” hissed in reply Harper, before clearing her throat to continue. “As I said we are sending two interns to gain some valuable insight into the industry and brighten their knowledge. This year along Dr. Ramsey, we will send… Dr. Haynes and Dr. Harrington. Congratulations on your success. Please come see me in the morning for more details.”

“Shit...,” cursed Ethan meeting the eyes of the two dumbfounded interns, who looked at him in shock. His heart thundering inside his chest.

That’s going to be a long, long weekend. He thought as he fled to his office. The three of us back in a hotel. Did Harper somehow find out about our history together? But if she did, why send us? She’s already suspicious of my interactions with Diana. This is why the board gets on my nerves, they do whatever the hell they want to.

Back in the atrium, Beckett and Diana stared at each other. “This isn’t happening.” He whispered. “There’s no way I can go and leave Oriana behind, especially while pregnant. I’m going to have to turn the opportunity down and…”

“Don’t you dare!” Diana whispered back harshly. “You can’t leave me alone with him in a different state for a weekend. He’s too wishy-washy and I’m sick of it. We’ll probably sleep together, and he’ll run off again, leaving me to fend for myself in a city I’ve never been to, all alone this time. Beckett, please, I can’t do this alone.”

“He wouldn’t do that again.” Beckett argued.

“Oh, right. I forgot. Lately he only does that after kissing me!” Diana began marching off.

“Wait!” Beckett caught her arm. “What are you talking about?”

She glared down the hall towards Ethan’s office. “I’m not talking about anything that hasn’t happened before. If you’re not going then neither am I.”

“Di…” Beckett tried to reason. “It’s a fantastic opportunity.”

She shrugged. “You’re right, it is. Too bad we’re not going.”

Beckett sighed heavily. “You’re being immature.”

“I’m being guarded.” She corrected.

“Why can’t you two just figure shit out? Diana, he may be sending all kinds of mixed signals, but it’s not as if you’re marching into his office right now to confront him about them. You’re just letting it continue. If he���s too high and mighty to admit his feelings freely, then you need to step up and make him. Or, I don’t know, tell him how you feel so he doesn’t have to guess either. You convinced Oriana, a complete stranger, to go on a date with me, a complete stranger to her. Where is that confident girl? The Diana I know would have approached him and nipped it in the butt already. Why are you dragging this out?” Beckett snapped.

“Because I love him!” She whispered frantically, before slapping a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

Beckett grabbed her hands, holding them tightly. “That’s your answer. Do you want to lose him because you never told him how you felt? That’s what would have happened with me and Ori if you never talked to her. I’ve already talked to Ethan, but apparently, he’s not as outgoing as my wife. If you can’t bring yourselves to talk to each other now, then this trip will force you to. And like it or not, Di, that’s what both of you need.”

“Still…I can’t do it on my own.” She murmured.

“You can and you will.” Beckett assured her. “Stop dancing around each other and face things head on. Neither of you are going to be able to move forward until that happens.”

“Why do you have to make so much sense all the damn time?” Diana muttered, throwing her hands up in defeat.

“It’s what I do.” Beckett smirked.

Diana eyed him thoughtfully, her eyes beginning to light up mischievously. “You know what, Beckett? You’ve given me an idea.”

He frowned. “I know that look. What are you doing.”

“Oh nothing. I have to go make a call, will you excuse me?”

“Diana!” He hissed, but she was already running into the nearest girls’ room. Shaking his head in frustration, he turned to go to the locker room. A few minutes later his phone buzzed with an incoming text. He pulled out his phone, seeing Oriana’s name flash on the screen.

Oriana: “Miami!!!! Beck, that’s amazing! I’m SO proud of you!! And Ethan suggested I come?? Omg, Beck, I’m so excited!!!! Please thank him for me!!!”

He groaned loudly, sinking down onto a bench. There’s no getting out of this now.

Tags: @annekebbphotography @gardeningourmet @zigortega4life @eileendannie @alesana45 @thequeenofcronuts @friedherringclodthing @mfackenthal @coffeebeandragon @drakewalker04

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[amesantiagos]

I’ve got a really bad feeling I’m gonna love you so good

Hey guys, so I finally managed to finish my submission for the @b99fandomevents summer 2019 fic exchange! This is extra terrifying for me because I’ve never shared anything I’ve written with anyone, and this was done in a bit of a rush as I’ve been unexpectedly super busy recently! 

This was written for @romanovember whose prompts were ‘peraltiago, pining, fluff and pre-series timeline’. I hope you enjoy it, and I’m sorry it’s like last, last minute! 

Read on AO3 here

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It was a typical Friday night at Shaw’s bar; the music was loud, the atmosphere was bustling, and the Ninety-Ninth precinct were drinking away their worries from the previous week.

The bartender was serving Jake as he stood at the bar, half listening to Charles blabbering away about some recipe he had found online the night before – after the words ‘fresh blood’ and ‘soup’ were mentioned in the same sentence Jake had decided it was best to just nod and smile. His absent gaze drifted across the room as he tried to ignore the gory details Charles was excitedly explaining to him.

As usual for a Friday night, Captain McGinley, Hitchcock and Scully were struggling to stay awake at their table and, like normal, Terry was on the phone to Sharon who was on her way to join them. Gina and Rosa were on another table drinking in silence, which was to be expected – but what wasn’t expected was the currently empty seat next to Rosa. Jake head towards the others, leaving an exasperated Charles at the bar.  

“Hey, where’s Santiago?”

Rosa looks up and tilts her head to somewhere behind him and he spins around. Sure enough, Amy was currently sitting alone at a booth in the darkest corner of the bar, nursing a drink and bobbing very slightly along to the music playing in the background. Which is definitely not where she normally was on a typical Friday night at Shaw’s.

Amy was the newest member of the Nine-Nine, and although she had been a little more hesitant about joining them at the bar to begin with, she’d now become a frequent patron, much like the rest of the squad.

“You should go talk to her.” Charles whispers in his ear, much too close for comfort.

“Charles!” Jake jumps back and scoffs as Charles over-exaggerates a wink and eyebrow wiggle. “Ugh, get out of here.”

Jake brushes him off and makes his way to the other side of the room. The general background chatter and laughter that is floating through the air begins to quieten as he reaches the dingy corner booth Amy is occupying.

“What do you want, Peralta?” she mumbles, her eyes never leaving the glass in front of her.

He wasn’t expecting such a cold reception, and pauses to takes her in. She’s deflated in her seat, shoulders slumped, and she her blank gaze appears to be focused straight through rather than on her glass. For someone so normally put together, Jake finds it a more than a little alarming to see her looking so down, especially considering the other empty glasses discarded on the table. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she replies slightly too bluntly. “Why?”

“Well, after a few drinks you’re normally a little bit more…” he trails off as her eyes snap towards him.

“A little more what, Peralta?”

“Uh… lively?”

“I’m lively,” she huffs and starts to unenthusiastically wiggle along to the faint beat of the song playing from the speakers a few tables up from them. She turns her head and stops as soon as she makes eye contact with an unamused Jake.

“Oh yeah, well I’m totally convinced now.” Jake gently slides into the seat next to her, the smell of faint cigarette smoke and stale beer that must have soaked into the seats reminding him why this area of the bar was empty in the first place. “I mean, that was some quality dancing, I don’t even know why I thought anything was up in the first place.”

She responds with a sigh. Not an eye roll, no frown, just a small sigh, which only causes Jake’s concern to grow. “Amy—"

“Seriously, what do you want?”

“Really, I just wanted to check if you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She frowns at him, her eyes dark in the dimly lit booth, “and why do you even care?”

“Well, first off, that’s rude,” he raises he eyebrows at her, “and secondly, because you’re my partner, and I know I normally come across as a badass, emotionless action-hero like type– ”

“No, you don’t.”

He ignores her, but can see a familiar glint in her eye starting to surface, “…but I do actually have a heart, so it hurts that you think I wouldn’t care about how my partner is feeling.”

“I’m fine. Now can you please just let me sit here and drink in peace?”

His heart sinks. That was not the response he was expecting, and he really was worried about her. “Is this about that suspect who escaped earlier?”

She sighs and looks away from him. “Look, this is the first case I’ve worked with Diaz, and I just wanted it to go well,” Amy sighs, and runs her hand down her face. “We’d been on him for weeks, we had him cornered and… and it’s my fault he got away. It’s my fault, Jake.” Her head sinks between her arms on the table. “I messed up. I know that it happens sometimes, but I thought I was better than that.”

“Amy–” Jake tries to stop her from spiralling.

“And if that’s not bad enough, Diaz doesn’t even know what happened and she’s so intimidating, I don’t even know how to tell her,” she mumbles. “How can I catch dangerous criminals for a living when I’m too scared to even talk to my own co-worker?”

“Hey, Rosa’s not that scary. Did you know that she…” he stops, and furrows his brows. “Huh, I actually don’t really know anything about her. Did you know that she lives somewhere in New York?”

Amy lifts her head and stares blankly back at him.

“I mean, I think she does,” he shrugs, beginning to doubt himself.

“That doesn’t help.”

“Yeah, sorry. But don’t worry about it too much, I accidentally let criminals escape all the time.” He takes a swig of his drink and grins at her.

“Jake, that’s not a good thing!”

“Yeah, but I’m still the best detective at the Nine-Nine.”

“That’s not true.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that you don’t have to be a perfect detective to be a great at your job.”

“Well, maybe that works for you you, but if I want to be a Captain one day…”

Jake rubs his temples and curses under his breath; if being light hearted wasn’t working, he was going to have to get serious.

“Amy, hey, look at me. You have met our Captain, right? The man who slept through literally everything that happened today? The man who didn’t even blink an eye that time those two sumo wrestlers got into a fight in the middle of the bullpen? And the rest of us aren’t much better, remember the time Hitchcock got beaten up by that prostitute? And the time Charles accidently had sex with a murderer?”

“Ugh, how could anyone forget that?” Her nose scrunches up in disgust, and Jake can’t stop his mind from pointing out how adorable it was. He doesn’t quite know what possesses him to do it, but he gently places his hand over hers. She shifts slightly closer to him, and presses against his side. She’s more relaxed now, so Jake continues.

“And not to inflate your ego or anything, but you’re definitely the smartest and most level-headed person in the squad, and you’re already a great detective, even if there are things you would do differently if you did things again. I guess it just helps prepare you for the future, or whatever. None of us are perfect, Santiago, there’s still hope for you yet.”

She looks up at him like she’s seeing him for the first time, despite having worked together for almost a year now and lets out a breath. “That was… weirdly inspiring.”

“What can I say, it’s kind of a hidden talent of mine.”

And she smiled at him. For the first time. Well, not really; she’d definitely smiled at him before. But not like this. This was a real smile, a genuine smile, not a ‘Peralta quit your bullshit’ smile, or a ‘I’m just trying to be polite’ smile, or even her stiff professional smile.  A smile that sparked in her eyes and made her whole face light up, and somewhere deep, deep down it ignited something inside him as well.

They both pause, lingering in the moment for just a little longer than necessary, before Amy blinks and removes her hand from under his, leaving Jake surprisingly disappointed by the absence of contact. She clears her throat before breaking the silence that’s now beginning to drown them.

“Well, thank you, it, uh, that’s actually really helped.”

“That’s what I’m here for, to offer great advice and look good doing it,” he flourishes his point with a wink and a grin.

Amy rolls her eyes, and Jake’s never been more relieved to see someone openly disapprove of him.

“Ah, there she is!”

“Shut up,” she says, but her eyes are still smiling.

Before they can get to caught up in the moment again, they’re interrupted by thudding footsteps approaching them, followed by Charles sliding into the booth with such force that Jake guesses he probably ran from the other side of Shaw’s.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” He greets them in a voice a few octaves higher than usual.

“You okay there, buddy?” Jake grimaces internally, knowing that Charles is about to get super weird, super quick, but before he can come up with a plan to avoid any potential awkwardness Amy’s phone starts to loudly buzz.

“Sorry, I should get this,” she says, quickly excusing herself and leaving Jake and Charles alone at the table.  

“So… Anything you need to tell me about?” Charles’ voice still hasn’t quite regained its normal pitch.

“Boyle. We were just talking. Amy was upset and I cheered her up, end of story. Now please stop being weird?”

“Uh-huh,” Charles stares at him for an uncomfortable few seconds before continuing, “You can’t ignore fate, Jake. I know It’ll happen one day, and I’m never wrong. Remember how I predicted Terry and Sharon? I almost feel like I’m Cupid!”

“You didn’t even meet Sharon until she and Terry had already been together for months.”

“Yeah, but when he told he us he was going on a date I said it was going to go well, and look at them now,” he’s almost bouncing with enthusiasm as he gestures towards the bottom of stairs where Terry is greeting his girlfriend.

“Okay, you’re maybe like Cupid’s distant, distant, distant cousin, because you’re way off base about everything else right now.”

“Mm-hmm, whatever you say, Jake.”  

Jake finishes his drink and tries to push Charles’ comments to one side, figuring that maybe if he just ignores him, he’ll give it up. Besides, Jake thought, she may be undeniably beautiful, but Amy was basically the opposite of him in every way imaginable, and despite Charles’ odd prodding, nothing was going to change that. But for some reason he can’t comprehend, he can’t quell the nagging thought in the back of his head that maybe, maybe, there was something to what Charles was saying after all, even if he wasn’t quite to admit it to himself yet.

[sunflowerstache]

Not So Bad In L.A

A/N: It’s finally posted y’all! I’m so sorry it’s been so long since I last updated, life has kind of just been a bit busy and I was definitely in a writing jam/had some major writer’s block! But I got past it and I hope this was worth the wait! Love you all, and as always, if you have any questions/concerns/suggestions/want to get tagged/all of the above, please let me know! I love hearing from you beautiful people!

Chapter 5: The Light Is Coming

           February 3, 2017

Word Count: 3.9k

Masterlist      Fic Masterlist

Previous Chapter        

“Excuse me, you’re doing what with who?!”

You and the girls were all sitting together in your living room, nursing a bottle of Moscato. It was the afternoon after Harry’s birthday party, and Nick had texted you early this morning, undoubtedly dragging his hungover feet on the way to the breakfast Harry had mentioned. Not only did he want to make sure you got home alright the night before, but being the nosy man that he is, felt the need to ask what went on with you and Harry while he was ‘knocking back countless tequila shots’.

“Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is, Sav. It’s lunch with a new friend.”

“Sure... lunch with a new friend who happens to be Harry fucking Styles.” Bri laughed, going to answer the door as the doorbell just sounded through your apartment.

Bella chuckled, picking up the now empty bottle of wine and frowning, “How are we out already?” she got up and walked into the kitchen, yelling; “Have you told Morgan about your new friend yet?”

“Not yet, no. She wants to take the USMLE soon so I don’t wanna bother her.” The USMLE is a 3-step test a hopeful doctor has to take in order to be eligible to get their medical license. She was trying to take it as early as possible, and you had to constantly remind her that she was definitely going to ace it since she was the smartest girl you’d ever met.

“Better tell her now before she sees you on some twitter account or some shit.” Sav laughed, “Also, I don’t want to be like a downer, but you know Harry might ask about your family, right? Are you – are you like, prepared for all that?”

The room got quiet and all eyes fell on you. You fiddled with the blanket resting on your lap and felt your chest grow a bit tighter. Bri and Bella had both re-entered the living room; Bri resting against the door frame and Bella taking her place back next to you on the couch.

“I um, I haven’t really thought about it.” You shrugged. You absolutely adored your family. When you lived at home, you valued nothing more than spending time with the people you love. And deciding to leave them was the hardest thing you ever done. But like most families, there were some things you just didn’t talk about. Some things you just didn’t want to even think about.

“Alright, how about we don’t be debby downers right now, and instead, we talk about this package that just came for Y/N.” Bri smiled, walking over to sit on the hardwood floor in front of you, handing you your package

“Ooooh, did your new boyfran send you something already?”

“Honestly, it was probably Ronnie. You know Y/N’s mom loves sending mail.”

“It’s from Youtube.” You smiled, opening the large box, “It’s um – it’s my plaque for reaching 100,000 subscribers.” YouTube was something that you never really talked about. It was something you did on the side after each one of your trips and people seemed to enjoy it. You loved creating a video where people could really capture the feel of a location before getting the chance to go, or even just watch the video for fun. You had somehow conned 100,000 very dedicated people into watching your videos and you couldn’t be more thankful for them.  

“YES BITCH!”

“I know I’m speaking for all of us when I say you really deserve this. Seriously, you work your ass off for the magazine and then come home and work on your videos and I’m just really proud of you.” Bella smiled, raising her glass. Having your best girlfriends around you and supporting you during a journey that you didn’t know you would ever embark on was more important than any sort of award you could receive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry texted you early the next morning. You were sitting at your kitchen island, basking in the early morning sunlight that was shining through your windows and enjoying a bowl of Cheerios, when your phone dinged. You knew it wasn’t Nick, as he was still passed out on your couch. And it wasn’t any of the girls, as they were all getting ready for work. The five of you had a riveting night of watching The Office (Nick of course butting in and making comments about the original UK version) while playing a drinking game: take a shot whenever anyone makes eye contact with the camera. It was a quick way to ensure getting drunk, albeit not a great idea for the 3 of 5 of you who had work that morning. Nick was leaving to go home later tonight, after spending nearly a week showing you his favorite spots around LA, encouraging you all to drink more in those 3 weeks than you had since moving, and spending some days just cuddled on the couch watching movies. It was nice having him there. Granted, he had spent a day or two with other LA based friends of his, but waking up to him in your living room was nice, because you knew you most likely wouldn’t be seeing him again for some time. Glancing down at your phone, you smiled at the incoming message.

“Still willing to have lunch with me? Around 11?”

Part of you had thought he’d forgotten about his proposition. That maybe he was more drunk than he lead on that night and had just forgotten about you. Before his party, the two of you had been texting for almost three days straight, so it was odd when you didn’t hear from him the last day and half. You shook your head and thought the same thing you had been telling yourself; “He’s a superstar Y/N, he’s busy.”

“I think the real question is do you still want to have lunch with me?”

You sat and continued your chat with Harry for quite some time, deciding what kind of food you were in the mood for and a central location for you both (which according to Harry wasn’t a necessity on his end). But to your surprise, he continued the conversation. You felt like you had known him forever, but after thinking about it, you really didn’t know much about him… Other than what you learned by being a fan, and so you decided if you were going to be friends with the infamous Harry Styles, you were going to get to know the real Harry Styles.

“What the fuck are you smiling at, at 7am. There’s literally nothing to be happy about this early.”

“Nick, you wake up at like 4am for work, this should be nothing for you.” You chuckled, finishing your cereal and reaching to place your bowl in the sink across from your seat at the island.

“I’m generally not this hungover when going to work.” You opened your mouth to argue that statement, but he beat you too it and held up a finger, “I said generally.”

Not bothering to stifle a yawn, he reached into the cabinet to grab a mug and made himself busy making his morning coffee. Having him in the house was nice. Living with three other girls could get a bit hectic sometimes. There was usually lots of whining and yelling to be heard echoing through the house at all hours of the day, heels left all over the living room after long days of work, and you don’t remember the last time you were able to wake up and not find someone digging through your closet. It had been so long since you lived with a guy and it was nice being reminded of how simple it was.

“Alright look.” Nick mumbled as he turned around and leaned on the opposite counter to face you, “I’m leaving tonight, so you know I have to part with some brotherly advice.”

You sighed.

“Sorry.” he rubbed his eyes, “Anyways, I’m aware you’re talking to Harold and-“

“Grimmy no! I’m stopping you right there. We are not talking. We literally just met and are friends. I don’t even know if you can call us friends.” You knew this would be coming at some point before his departure. Nick always had a way to sneak in some weird form of protectiveness over you anytime he was around.

“You’re texting and meeting up. Call it what you will, but listen to me. Just be careful alright? I love the lad like he’s family, but when you’re with Harry, you’re not just with Harry. There’re always people watching and always something to be said about it. I just don’t want you surprised by anything.”

The ding of another incoming text message made you both look at your phone, smiling softly at Harry’s unknown perfect timing.

“Thanks Grim, I appreciate it. But I’m a big girl.”

“Look, I’m just trying to make sure your ass doesn’t get posted all over social media. If anyone’s gonna do it, it’s going to be me.”

“No one’s posting my ass anywhere. I’d have to have one in order for that to even happen.” The two of you broke out into a fit of giggles, eventually shushing each other in fear of waking up the rest of the house.

“Thanks for letting me crash with you these last couple days.” He smiled as you got up off your stool to make your way to stand in front of him.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I missed you.” You replied and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, “Now, I’m gonna go take a shower and get ready for my lunch plans with Harry and evidently the rest of the world.”

It was approaching 7:30am when you made your way into your room, watching Bri as she left your closet, holding a pair of black booties and uttering a sleepy “Morning.” You had about three hours before you had to meet up with Harry, realistically only two with getting ready and LA traffic. Your only dilemma was what to wear. You’ve seen how Harry dresses and can only assume what his standards are. Only problem was you didn’t own anything quite so designer. Shaking your head, you walked into your closet. After all, it was only lunch with a new friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon arriving, you immediately knew that you and Harry had very different ideas of a causal lunch. Soft music and the murmur of conversations being held filled the air and you could faintly hear the sound of water in the distance.

“Hello. How may I help you today?”

You turned to see a young girl, most likely no older than 18, standing behind the podium and looking at you expectantly.

“I um, I think I have a reservation?” you then realized that you never talked to Harry about how this was going to work. Did you give the girl his name? What if someone heard and freaked out? Did he put it under an alias, and if so what was it? You probably looked like a crazy person standing there just starring at her blankly, “I’m meeting a friend, but I don’t know what the reservation is under.”

The young man standing next to her turned and interjected, “Mr. Einstein at table W12. I can escort her.” He made his way around the podium and pointed towards the back doors that led outside, “If you’ll follow me.” The restaurant was filled with predominantly middle-aged couples, which made sense considering it was a Friday at 11am. As the hostess in front of you opened the back doors, a small breeze blew through and your flowy white pants swayed with it. You had decided on pairing those pants with a green camisole top and a pair of small nude heels, figuring that if you were to somewhat dress up for any lunch, it would be this one. It crossed your mind for a brief moment that whoever this man was leading you to could in fact, not be Harry, but someone else waiting for someone to arrive, however, you then caught sight of his curls. Harry was seated in the far corner, head down looking at his phone, while one hand scratched the back of his neck. You could see his knee bobbing up and down and he was steadily chewing on his bottom lip, like whatever he was doing on his phone was causing him duress. But as soon as he heard your footsteps approaching, his head popped up and looked directly at you.

“Y/N. Hi.” He smiled as he stood up, opening his arms for a quick hug before the hostess led you right to an open chair at the tabl, ”Thank you Danny.” He nodded to the young boy.

“It’s good to see you again! Sorry I didn’t text you earlier, I was doing work stuff and Grimmy was over most of the day yesterday and you know how he gets.” He laughed

“No, don’t worry about it! Thanks for the invite…… Mr. Einstein.”

“I try not to give my real name when going out. Kind of causes a big thing that I just want to avoid, you know? Thought Einstein would be a good enough give away, considering you did call yourself that you when we met.” He chuckled

The two of you chatted for a bit, not really about much, mostly you telling him about a new piece you were working on for the magazine. He was very intent on just listening to you talk, which was something you hadn’t really experienced before. Growing up, you were always fighting for attention between your friends and family members, since there are so many of you. Not that how you grew up was a bad thing, just having someone who was genuinely interested in what you had to say was a nice change of pace. But you had made a promise to yourself this morning, you were going to get to know Harry, so you finally decided to take the topic off of yourself.

“Alright well, if we’re going to be friends, I can’t be the only one who talks. I happen think you quiet enjoy talking about yourself.” You surprised yourself being so up front with him, but like you’d been thinking since you first met, you felt very comfortable around Harry.

“Oh, do you now? What else do you think you know about me?” he smirked, leaning forward and folding his hands on the table.

And that’s how it started. Instead of playing the typical 20 questions game to learn about each other, you just spewed out different assumptions you had about the other. It ranged anything from where you’re from to your favorite animal to what your favorite kind of cake was.

“Okay, okay. You’re a One Direction fan.” he guessed. At this, you could feel your ears perking up and warmth in your cheeks. Averting your eyes, you glanced to your side at the water.

“What lead you to that assumption?”

“I may have made a few inquiries before lunch today.” he shrugged, “Am I correct?”

“Hmmm yeah, I guess you could say that. I um – my best friends - Bella, Sav and I have been fans since you guys finished X Factor. And it just kind of snowballed from there. We had been to like five shows. Were looking forward to hearing album number five live, but there was a hiatus announced before that could happen.”

“Yeah, well I hear they wanted to try the whole ‘Solo’ thing.”

“Yet, only one has released music.” you pondered, jokingly.

He smiled, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, “I happen to have it on good authority that the devishly handsome one is working on his music.”

“Devishly handsome? Niall really does have something special about him, huh.” You joked, sipping your water and staring at him over the glass, “Joking. I look forward to hearing it one day.”

The two of you quickly fell back into your game of information and bouncing assumptions off one another, laughing when someone got one correct and correcting them when it was wrong. He raised his eyebrows when you corrected him on your favorite song – his guess being Waste a Night by Kings of Leon “simply based on your reaction to it at the concert.”

“It’s actually Girl Crush by Little Big Town.” You nodded,l to yourself, waiting for a laugh or even an unenthused ‘really?” but it never came.

“Great song.” He nodded, like he was making a mental note of the song

“I’m confident in this one.” You smiled smugly, “Your favorite band is Fleetwood Mac.”

“One of them, definitely. Huge influence growing up and getting into music. Good thing we aren’t keeping score, ‘cause I’d be out for the count.”

“All those years being a fan are finally paying off. But, because I’m off the record winning and feeling very generous, I’ll give you give three extra assumptions – uninterrupted. Go.”

“You can’t put me on the spot like that! Okay, um your favorite food is rice?”

You looked at him quizzically, “How-“

“You ordered extra rice with dinner. Educated guess.” He shrugged before moving onto his next one, scrunching up his nose like he knew this one would be wrong “You have a dog?”

“Wrong. No dogs allowed in the apartment. Bri’s allergic. Leaning towards getting a kitten soon tho!” you grinned, excited by the thought of having a sweet lil bub prancing around your apartment.

“A cat person, duly noted.” Smiling, he tucked some hair, that had been blown into his face by the increasing wind, back behind his ear, ““Alright.” he sat quiet for a moment, thinking of his next comment, “You’re an only child.”

There it was. The question that you dreaded but always gets asked. You should have known it was coming at some point soon, considering you had been talking to each other about your personal lives, including families, for almost an hour. It was normal; the person you were making friends with wanting to know about your family. But it made the knot in your stomach zoom up into your throat. You could go one of two ways, give Harry the full truth like you know he would want, or the less painful way and tell a white lie. He wouldn’t even know if it was a lie, right? I mean, it’s not like he would dig into your family history. Mentally you sighed, deciding that telling the truth was the only option. It wasn’t something you wanted to hide. It didn’t seem fair.

“False. I um, I have a brother and a sister.”

“Really? What are they like?”

“Well, my sister Morgan is 20 and she goes to school at The Medical University of South Carolina. She wants to be a pediatrician.” you grinned, thinking about her in the Winnie the Pooh scrubs she showed you last night.

“And your brother?” Your smile slowly faded and suddenly the body of water next to you was the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen. Did you want to do this? Share this with someone you really barely knew? Hell, you didn’t even like talking about this with Grimmy or the girls. Licking your lips and taking a deep breath, you decided what to do.

“Brandon’s my older brother. He’s honestly the best person I’ve ever known. He went to The School of Visual Arts in New York. He wanted to be a videographer. He was amazing.” you paused, glancing over at Harry, who was intently waiting for you to finish talking. The gleam in his eyes was present when he noticed your use of the past tense, silently understanding what that meant. “He was the kind of guy you just wanted to be friends with, ya know?” you continued, “Like he could talk about sports with you for hours, but you wanted to talk about music? He knew that too. Art? Cars? He was your guy. He just got along with everyone.”

“Well, he sounds fantastic.” Harry nodded, reaching across the table to grab your hands

“He is - was.” you gently shook your head, “He um, he passed away almost 3 years ago. I think everything just got to be too much for him? I’m still not entirely sure.”

The waves softly crashed to your left and you could hear the hustle and faint bustle of the street to your right, but the two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. “I’m sorry. This isn’t a very fun conversation to be having on a lunch date.” you let out a small fake laugh but he shook his head

“No, it’s alright. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Means a lot.” he smiled, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

The two of you sat quietly for a moment, enjoying each other’s company, and you noticed Harry’s hand still resting on yours. It was big enough to almost engulf yours entirely, and it gave off a nice wave of heat. Just enough to make you forget about the chilling wind that blew past the two of you. Your waitress had come to drop of your bill and much to your protest, Harry had insisted that he pay. Something you knew he would try to do from the moment he asked you to lunch. So, you didn’t let him push you. Before he handed his card to the waiter, you slipped your card into the small black folder and insisted that the bill be split in two. He gave you a pointed glance and shook his head, but you knew he wasn’t too upset. After all, his hand never faltered.

“Thank you for coming today. I know you were probably pretty weirded out being asked to lunch with some guy you barely knew. But I really enjoyed it.”

“Oh, it was super weird. Considering the guy in question was someone I’ve looked up to for like 7 years.” you giggled, slightly embarrassed, “But I’m glad you did. It was fun. Plus, now Nick can stop making fun of me for not having any friends in LA.”

He shook his head, pushing his chair out so he could stand, “God, Nick, ever the passionate one.” He moved behind you quickly so that he could pull your chair out.

“Did I tell you he tried to give me a speech about you this morning? How you’re famous and always have people watching.”

Harry gaped at you, “You taking the piss? He sat me down in the kitchen yesterday. Told me I had to remember you ‘aren’t used to the limelight, so be careful’. Like I was planning on taking you to a red carpet or something.” He chuckled, “I had to remind him it was just lunch.”

“He just tries to go all brotherly on me since – “ you paused, talking a deep breath, “Since Brandon’s not around to do it. At least that’s his reasoning. He may be a pain sometimes, but he means well.”

Coming to the front doors of the restaurant, a sad feeling radiated over your body. You lunch with Harry was coming to a close, and he had said he was going back to London next week, so you didn’t know if this was the last time you’d be seeing him for some time. And you quiet enjoyed your time together today. He cleared his throat and chuckled beside you before opening the front door,

“So… a lunch date huh?”

Tag List: @emotionally-imbruised @theasstour @swayingnoodlelove @movingalong3 @staceystoleyourheart @north1692 and the lovely @isitstraightvodka @isitjamiemoriarty @meet-me-in-the-kitchen @meetyourmouths for always being so wonderful and supportive and just great pals💛

[endofinfinityrp-blog]

Welcome, ADMIN JULIE, to the END OF INFINITY. We loved your take on RODERICK MEEKS, especially how he came to terms with his Fromian ancestry. We can’t wait to see how Roderick does at WALDRON ISLAND UNIVERSITY! Now that you’re accepted, please make sure to complete the New Member Checklist within the next 24 hours!

OOC:

Player name: Julie

Player age: 23

Player pronouns: She/her

Activity level: 6-7; I have a 9-5 retail job I work M-F which sucks the soul from my living breathing body, but I love this game and I’m Ready.

IC:

Character name: Roderick Dexter Meeks

Character species: Fromian. He only found out he was anything other than a powered human when he was applying to colleges, and he’s still adjusting to that--he still considers himself human, and is not at this point interested in his Fromian background.

Character age & birthdate: 18; May 5th.

Character power: Roderick has the power of empathy, which is the ability to sense and manipulate the emotions of other beings - humans, Fromians, supers, some animals even. This gives Roderick the ability to share joy, ease pain, soothe hearts, offer keen advice and glean deeper understanding; when he was young, it was only broad or exceptionally strong, obvious feelings, but as he’s grown, he’s gotten better at sensing (and manipulating) more subtle or hidden emotions, although discerning the cause of these emotions still eludes him for the most part. Roderick’s empathy does not extend to the written word, and it works only within a physical distance of about thirty feet, although if there are a lot of people nearby, he easily gets overwhelmed by the emotions around him--feelings are not an exact science, and they tend to compound on each other. His ability is strengthened by eye-contact and physical touch. His empathic abilities prove a hinderance when he wants to be alone with his own emotions or when someone wishes to keep their feelings private, and when there are too many people and too many feelings in one place. More than anything, Roderick’s empathy can sometimes get away from him, causing him to accidentally manipulate someone else’s feelings too intensely or without focus. Emotional bleed and emotional exhaustion frequently follow Roderick’s active use of his ability, not to mention the distrust he can literally sense from people who don’t trust him to respect their boundaries. Ironically, Roderick’s empathy at times keeps him from accessing his own emotions the way other people do - he builds a sort of emotional wall around his feelings, mostly to try and separate them from other people’s, but at times he separates them from himself, as well. Furthermore, more than once, he’s accidentally walled off someone else’s emotions, out of purely defensive instincts.

Area of Study: Roderick is currently undecided, but he is considering everything from a Music major to something in the sciences; sometimes, when he’s feeling very brave, he thinks about how much his empathy could help in a therapeutic field, but he’s worried he’d get overwhelmed and do more harm than good.

Dorm Style: Roderick would strongly prefer a single dorm, due to how proximity affects his empathy, but he would be okay with a double as well - it depends on his scholarships. Either way, he’d prefer to be in Salvatore Dorm.

Bio: Roderick grew up in a tiny townhouse in Chicago, which was sandwiched between two other townhouses that made up the line of tall, misshapen spindly brick buildings on his block. Everything was cramped, but cozy - and more importantly, safe. His mother made sure that everything was taken care of, that Roderick never felt like they wanted for anything; it wouldn’t be until later did he realize, in retrospect, how much of a struggle his early years were. His mother worked two jobs and still made it home to tuck him into bed - she had to, when she was his primary caregiver. He never knew his father - his mother served as a nurse in war against The Suckers, and the one time he bucked up the courage to ask about his father, she told him they met during the war, and that he would be so proud of Roderick. That seemed to be all there was to say about that.

He doesn’t know when she found the time to meet someone, let alone go on dates, but Ellie Meeks got married (or, remarried; he’s not quite sure if his parents ever actually exchanged nuptials) to Frank Farragut, and with him brought Graham and Harper into the world, and made Roderick a big brother. The house went from cozy and quiet to cramped and loud, but Roderick still didn’t really mind. He liked being a big brother, and it was nice, in kind of a weird way, to have a grownup guy around--he couldn’t be mad when Frank made his mom smile like that.

Still, it’s his siblings that Roderick attributes to the development of his ‘gift’, if you want to call it that. He’d always been a knowing kid - his mom told him that she’d never met a calmer or more understanding five-year-old than he. But Roderick really had just always gotten what people were feeling - like ‘sad’ or ‘mad’ or ‘happy’ was written across their forehead in big block letters, even if they never said it out loud. With the birth of his siblings, he became the world’s best big brother, in tune with what each distinctive wailing noise meant - he could tell when Graham was hungry or when Harper needed her diaper changed, and he could tell almost immediately, before his mother even went in to check on them. He just thought that was part of what being a brother was. He could tell when his siblings were scared or when they were delighted by the dumb voices he was making for their stuffed animals, long before they could express these things themselves. It wasn’t until later did Roderick learn that what had always just assumed was a normal thing became decidedly...not. Kids have too big of emotions to fit in their tiny bodies, and they were everywhere. There was no escaping the criss-cross of feelings in that house, between his siblings, his mother and Frank.

Roderick Meeks was not normal.

Roderick Meeks was a super.

Roderick Meeks told nobody.

Not even his mother.

He had a hard enough time as it was - he was quiet by nature but too big to ever pass unseen by other kids who, more often than not, wished he wasn’t there to begin with. He had friends, sure, but he wasn’t the sort of kid who made best friends or found himself at the center of a friendgroup. His mom had enough going on; with two kids under the age of ten and one getting ready for middle school, not to mention working still, he couldn’t be the reason for more stress.

Still, he wanted to help her, somehow. She was his mom.

Now, acutely, he could sense her worry; he didn’t know the exact cause of it, usually, because his mother thought that parents were supposed to fret over their children and not the other way around, but he knew enough--he couldn’t actually fix the problems, but he could ease her mind, her heart. So they’d be curled up watching TV after Frank had gone to bed and the babies were asleep, and he’d squeeze her hand and let her kiss his forehead and he’d focus on all the reassurances she gave him, and hope that it was enough to echo back to her. She deserved that. He could tell how proud and relieved she was every time he brought home a straight-A report card, and how tired she was when she came home from a long day at the hospital. He could tell when she and Frank were unhappy with each other and trying not to show it--he tried to help whatever negative emotions he sensed and enhance whatever positive ones; granted, the emotions were usually too complex for him to fully understand, but he tried. Their house was a happy one, as much as Roderick could make it be.

Roderick hid his gift for as long as he could, but he couldn’t hide forever.

He’d wanted to go to the park. His mother, being a worrier and a capable mother, did not think it wise to send her thirteen-year-old boy out on his own in Chicago, no matter how smart and safe he was, no matter how short a distance the park was from their house. It was a rare fight between them - Roderick wanted to go, and Ellie didn’t.

Until she did.

Or, more accurately, she didn’t not want to him to go. It took about a half-block for Ellie to realize what he’d done, and then she dragged him back to the house and listened while he cried his way through a fumbled explanation. He didn’t know the words--he didn’t even really know what it was, just that it certainly was, and he was so sorry.

She took him into her lap and smoothed his hair and took off his big glasses and set them aside so he could bury his face in the crook of her neck, and just held him, for a long time. When they had calmed down enough to speak - she told him, firmly, that they would get through this together. No more secrets. No more hiding.

And good thing, too, because as Roderick got older his gift only became more pronounced. Ellie got better at recognizing when her emotions were not her own, but she never scolded him for it - just a cutting look across the table was enough to remind Roderick to be aware. While he never felt bad for his gift, he couldn’t help it sometimes - he sometimes wondered if people wouldn’t be happier if he just left them alone. So he did.

Going into high school, he had a few friends, but his his natural introversion coupled with being easily overwhelmed by the intensity of his fellow teenagers’ emotions usually kept him from making the first move. He was never popular, by any means, but there it seemed like every time he got a good rhythm going at school, he’d lose control of his power and his annoyance would seep into everyone else’s and the next thing anyone knew, there was a foodfight or a hall brawl or--or whatever, but it was enough to scare Roderick, and worry his mother into changing schools. Several times.

Still, senior year came as it does, and Roderick had managed to build up a healthy high school record; he wasn’t in every club, and he was sure his frequent school-moves would’ve been enough to attract attention, if not questions in the interview process, but…

But they never quite got there. Roderick was perfectly content to go to a community school; he wasn’t even really sure what he wanted to do with his life, and his mother had always encouraged him to take his time with big decisions, but that wouldn’t do this time. His mother sat him down at their kitchen table one afternoon and plunked a huge stack of brochures and informational packets down in front of him.

They were for schools, obviously--for people like him. People with ‘gifts’.

He’d rejected them out of hand, and it took weeks for his mother to coax him back to the table. If it hadn’t been so clearly important to her, Roderick wouldn’t have even bothered; he refused to be more of a financial burden than he absolutely had to be--even with Frank working, they were by no means wealthy, and college was expensive.

It turned out there were these things called scholarships, that without even trying, Roderick qualified for. There was the scholarship for children of veterans - which his mother was, technically - and one for children whose parents had perished in the war against The Suckers, not to mention a handful of federal grants for…

For Fromians. For Fromians and their children.

He thought, for sure, that his mother had just printed off the full list--that this was comprehensive, not just things he was eligible for.

And then he looked at her face. And then she took his hand, and he saw the tears in her eyes and more than anything, felt how true this was; he felt how sorry she was, how afraid and how proud, and how determined she was--to do this right, she’d said.

Roderick Meeks was not normal.

Roderick Meeks was not a super.

Roderick Meeks wasn’t even human.

He called off school for a couple of days and just walked around the city, trying to screw his head back on his shoulders. His mother let him, though she watched him with dark, anxious eyes as he paced around the house.

It was hard enough, already being a freak who didn’t know how to separate his feelings from everyone else’s, who was nosey in a way he couldn’t control or even stop. It was hard enough, going through high school with nobody--even the other ‘gifted’ kids--wanting to get too close, for fear he’d turn their own emotions against them. It was hard enough, having a single mother and then a step father and then two half-siblings to worry about, without worrying about the alien half of his genetic code.

Wasn’t his life hard enough? He was worse than a freak, he wasn’t--he wasn’t who he thought he was. He’d been wrong, about everything; all of his little quirks he’d just assumed were flaws could be explained with his new knowledge, and he hated it.

It was the closest Roderick had ever come to hating himself.

Except he couldn’t. Because half of him was his mother, and his mother was half of Graham and Harper, too, and if he hated himself he had to hate all of himself--and he could never hate them. He couldn’t hate his brother’s endless, insatiable curiosity, nor could he hate his sister’s boundless exuberance. He couldn’t hate his mother’s steady, constant support; he couldn’t hate her strength, even though he hated that she’d lied to him.

She never tried to say it was for his own good; she never tried to justify it at all. But he could feel her regret, and her sympathy--more than anything, he felt the same love he’d always felt, and that was what eventually, slowly, began to comfort him.

When they sat back down, he--reluctantly--agreed to apply for all the scholarships he could. Just because it was important to her.

She really did most of the heavy lifting - she organized the applications and he filled them out in his free time, and then all there was waiting. And a blood-sample, to ‘prove his Fromian ancestry’.

And so, he got accepted--somehow--to several schools, some right there in Chicago or on the East Coast, but the one that caught his eye was Waldron; it was small, it was for ‘people like him’ but not just those people, and it wasn’t in a big city. It was a good school, for sure, but it wasn’t like it was Harvard or Yale.

And the campus looked pretty. He’d never seen the ocean.

So Waldron won, and here he is. He’s half-expecting he’ll either get kicked out or kick himself out and show up back on his home stoop in a couple of months, but his mother had smiled so big when he finally got on the plane out there that he can’t not at least give it a shot. Besides, if he ever wants to have enough money to take care of her and his siblings the way they deserve…

Maybe Waldron can find a use for his ‘gift’--maybe, maybe, maybe, he’ll find a way to help people.

(But he’s not holding his breath.)

IC Writing Sample:

He just wanted it to stop. All of it. He wanted his own fear and anxiety to quiet, and he wanted everyone else’s anger and excitement to just go away. The fight in the cafeteria was reaching cacophonic levels - the lunch ladies had all but run from behind their counters, while the big seniors raged on. What was Roderick supposed to do? He’d turned up the volume on his headphones and tried to ignore it, but when a bustling rush of bodies jerked past him and spilled the little carton of milk he’d only just opened into his lap, he couldn’t ignore it anymore. Frustration, anger and annoyance lanced him like lightning, and he snapped around to look at the fight.

This would be what he later categorized as a ‘mistake’.

As soon as he looked at the fight, he wished he hadn’t. The boys were locked in an embrace, tight and mean, grabbing and hitting and shoving wherever they could. The ring of people, witnesses and enablers and people who were just as afraid as Roderick was, grew and gained volume. Roderick slid his headphones off his ears.

Again, a mistake. Seeing emotions that strong was one thing - hearing them was something else. It knocked into him like a wave and he nearly doubled over; his elbow knocked against the table and he barely felt it, though tears sprang to his eyes.

Stop, stop, stop.

Stop fighting, stop feeling, stop, stop, stop.

Roderick closed his eyes and desperately tried to focus on something, anything else - he tried the breathing exercises his mother had looked up online, but he couldn’t count them properly and his breath was coming fast and short and he couldn’t stop it. He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and returned to the one thing that had ever worked for him.

He imagined himself deep underground, far away from the noise and yelling and veritable cocktail of emotion. Deep, dark, underground, an earthen wall around him, keeping him safe as a caterpillar in its cocoon. He found himself down there and held on tight, willing the wall to hold in place, to please please keep everyone else’s feelings out. He knew, vaguely, that he should run--out of the cafeteria, away from these feelings, away from anyone who might see him sitting there, pained, and ask questions.

He just couldn’t move yet. It was too much - a muddy soup of emotion, locking his feet into place. Down, deep, dark, safe, please stop, stop, stop--

It took Roderick several moments to recognize the silence as anything other than his own intense concentration. When he cautiously peeked one eye open, he found the entire room at rest - not asleep, not literally frozen in place, just...on pause. Blank-eyed and not even curious; mid-punch or mid-whoop.

Roderick cautiously extended himself - he felt…

Nothing.

Everyone in the room had...stopped. Their emotions had hit the breaks and all he’d left them was numbness and--yes, Roderick recognized it immediately--fear, though they didn’t yet realize what they were afraid of.

It was the worst feeling he had ever felt, and he lost his lunch on the spot.

At the same moment, security officers burst in the door and the scene was alive again, with feeling and reaction and a million feelings too big and loud to name. Roderick, shaky and confused and scared, allowed one of the lunch ladies to lead him from the room as kids were pulled apart and hauled out of the room - he sat curled into her shoulder while the secretary called his mother; he transferred schools (again), by the end of that week. His mother had told everyone who asked it was because of the violence, because her son was sensitive and needed to be raised in a safe environment, but Roderick knew the truth; she wanted to protect him from people who would ask too many questions. It wasn’t like Roderick had anyone to miss him there, so he went without complaint and never looked back.

[bachelorbro-blog1]

Season 21 -- Week 1

So, I’m just going to dive right in and start on this journey. Strap in?

I know Nick is an incredibly controversial choice because he’s already been on the show 3 times before this and he hasn't found love, so why should we even give him a chance? Well, everyone deserves love, I guess...but beyond that, Nick is a genuinely interesting person. Even the Chad Bear thinks so! I’m glad that he didn't end up with anyone on Bachelor in Paradise because I think we all knew he wasn't going to be happy with anyone he found there.

So, we see Nick having a really scripted conversation with some of the past Bachelors and they give him advice about what the process is going to be like, which is kind of weird seeing as he’s been on the other side of it twice and has kind of been on their side of it already since everyone is in charge on Bachelor in Paradise (sort of?).

We see all of Nick’s past failed relationships and we learn more about him and his life. We’re reintroduced to his little sister Bella who gives him some really solid advice. Like, make eye contact and stop mumbling. You aren't a 14 year old boy on his first date, dude.

Anyway, onto the girls and my first impressions of them (because who cares what Nick thinks about them, right?)

The first girl out of the limo is Danielle L. She doesn't have a gimmick, which is interesting because I feel like it’s almost a requirement for people to have some sort of shtick now? Anyway, she’s cool. We’ll see what happens.

Next is Elizabeth. She sounds like a former cheerleader and basically says the exact same thing that Danielle L said to him so...whatever. Again, we’ll see.

Out comes Rachel. I immediately love her because she has a super bright smile and she walks really confidently. She makes a corny joke, but she doesn't make any mention of being nervous like the two girls before her did so at least we know that she's on her own team.

Next is Christen, who looks exactly like one of my friends from college (I had to rewind to make sure it wasn't her). She’s a wedding videographer and calls him a celebrity, so she’s got a lot going on already. I’m shadily hoping she has a meltdown somewhere in the middle of the show because I feel like if anyone’s going to smash a wine glass on a table and storm out of a room crying, it’s going to be her (and I really want to see that).

Taylor shows up next. She laughs the second she sees him and then tells him that all of her friends hate him! I’m obsessed with her. I hope she gets to the hometown visit stage at least because I want to see him get the cold shoulder from all of her friends at brunch.

Then we meet Kristina, a dental hygienist with an unplaceable accent from Kentucky. I have no strong opinions about her. I just want to know where the accent came from. Please.

Next is Angela, a model who tells him to “scoop” her up later and that’s all of the information we get about her. They keep cutting away to Danielle L. talking about Nick which makes me think that Angela is going home real fast. Sorry, girl!

Out comes Lauren, who immediately decides that their couple name is “Disgusting Slut.” I don't care about her, but I appreciate the joke.

Food truck owner Michelle (we don't get to find out what kind of food truck it is?) comes out of the limo next and says that she’s “heard” that his “past relationships have been lemons.” Girl, we all have. They were broadcast on national television. I would be more surprised if you knew nothing about him. Next!

Dominique, the trillionth girl to show up in a red dress, is upper case E X C I T E D to be there (and to be sent home early on in the competition because she doesn't even get to say her name).

Ida Marie, a girl with two first names, shows up in a dress that has two pieces because clearly she likes everything to be in pairs. I would send her home immediately just because I wouldn't want to have to call her by her full first name every time I was introducing her to someone. That's a mouthful. Plus she asked him to do a trust fall with her. Imagine if he had dropped her. IMAGINE. I do like her dress though. Props to Ida Marie.

Olivia, who wants an eskimo kiss, enters in a huge fur coat (I really hope it’s fake). Then she hands him the coat?

In runs Sarah (literally). She runs. Because he was a runner up. So she wanted to be a runner up too. Not a great start, my friend. She forgets to introduce herself. Things aren't looking good for Sarah.

Jasmine G. (meaning there’s going to be another Jasmine?) brings Nick a tray of rings. Jasmine is IN IT TO WIN IT. Damn. Tell him what you want, girl!

Hailey is wearing a red dress! Surprise! Everyone is wearing a red dress! Who would have thought? She mentions that she’s not wearing underwear. That’s a power move.

Next up is Astrid, who speaks German and likes to show off. Nick doesn't speak German so it’s fun to watch him smile uncomfortably at her while she tells him that her boobs are real. She isn't wearing a red dress, which is a relief.

Here comes Liz, who already had sex with Nick. Something tells me she’s going to tell everyone. Nick gives her a weird look when she leaves. Of course he remembers you, Liz. How could he not? It hasn't even been a year since you first met. Do you really think he's that dumb?

Corinne is next. I’m scared of Corinne. Really scared. She gives him a hug token, but I wouldn't be surprised if she takes a bite out of his cheek during that hug.

Vanessa speaks French. Astrid already spoke a different language so you’re going to have to find something else to do, Vanessa. I did love her back story though. Am I Team Vanessa already?

Wait no, I lied. Danielle M. shows up. I love Danielle M. She’s technically wearing a red dress, but it’s a different shade of red than everyone else which makes her special. Plus she gives him a homemade gift. I can already see them making breakfast together during the hometown visit. Team Danielle M.

Raven yells about pigs. Fine.

Next comes Jaimi. This is the first time I’ve ever seen that name spelled with an I at the end of it, so does that make her interesting? I don't know. She tells him that she has balls, which means she has a septum piercing and wants to make herself sound more interesting. Corinne isn't into it.

Briana asks Nick if she can listen to his heart because she's a nurse, but then she asks him to take his shirt off so we’ve gone from decently cute to decently steamy in the span of three seconds. Good work, Briana.

Susannah, whose name doesn't show up immediately, gives Nick a beard massage, which is something I didn't know could happen. Then she tells him to expect more. What a weird promise.

Josephine is kind of a whack job. I can tell right away. But she's a whack job in a good way. She makes him eat an uncooked hot dog, but because she’s a nurse she can save him if he chokes on it. Well played, Josephine.

The ladies finally realize that everyone is wearing red. Really? Just now?

Ok, onto Brittany, who gives Nick a prostate exam...? Bold move.

Here’s the other Jasmine we’ve all been waiting for: Jasmine B. She's wearing a red dress. Other Jasmine (Jasmine G.) wore green because clearly she's the alpha Jasmine.

Whitney literally doesn't get to say anything. This does not bode well for her.

So...a camel shows up. Lacey is riding the camel if that wasn't clear. The camel is not a contestant (even though I would watch the shit out of that show). She makes some joke about humping and the other women are flabbergasted that she could be so forward. Ok.

SHARK ATTACK! Alexis is my favorite. I cannot believe she showed up in a shark costume and I really can't believe that she thinks it’s a dolphin costume (except I can actually believe both of those things because this is reality television and those kinds of things happen all the time).

Ok, so now we’ve met all of the girls. I have my picks and we'll see if they match up with Nick’s.

All of the ladies are waiting for Nick to come in and talk to them. Some are talking about how cute Nick is, others are talking about how ready they are to get married. Most are talking about Alexis’ shark costume.

Nick talks to Rachel first. She's smart and interesting and practices law. I knew I loved her. Go Rachel, go!

Christen dances with Nick, Raven asks for personal information, and then Chris shows up with the first impression rose, which is the most important rose in the whole world. Girls will rip each other’s hair out to receive this rose. Corinne will literally eat Alexis to get this rose. Corinne would probably eat someone for looking at her funny. 

Corinne straight up gives Nick a bag full of tokens. One of those tokens probably says, “Choose me or I’ll snap your neck.” 

Vanessa was submitted by a friend. So was Nick. She wants Nick to kiss her, but we all know Corinne would rather rip his lips right off of his face than see anyone else kiss him. Surprise, Corinne is back! She’s going to kiss him! Are we surprised? We have our female Chad, ladies and gentlemen.

Jasmine G. does not like Corinne. No one likes Corinne. 

Kristina shows up again for some reason, but we still don't get any information on her accent. What’s up with that? We just want to know what’s happening.

Jasmine G. is the first girl to cry. I didn't expect that at all. 

We’re still on the subject of Alexis’ costume. Is she a shark or a dolphin? Doesn't matter. She’s amazing. Some drunk girl calls her her “spirit animal.” Ok. Corinne tries to say Alexis is probably wearing it to hide her bad body. Nice try, girl. We all know she'd win in a fight against you. 

Nick finally talks to Alexis. He is not convinced that she’s a dolphin. Either way, I love her. She went in the pool in a shark costume. He tells her that if she takes the costume off she's going home, which means that she’s staying. That’s good news.

Liz talks about Jade and Tanner’s wedding again. She thinks she’s a woman of mystery. He straight up calls her on her bullshit and she gets really uncomfortable and it’s my favorite thing that’s happened all night. The only thing that could top this moment would be the Jasmines battling to see who would reign supreme and who would be going home without a rose. 

Corinne is convinced she’s going to get the first impression rose. It’s going to Danielle M. or Rachel because they actually had good conversations with him and they didn't shove their tongues down his throat. Nice try, Corinne. Maybe eat a raw sweet potato with your bare hands or something next time. 

Rachel gets the rose. No one is surprised. Good for her. Three cheers for Rachel!

It’s finally time for Nick to send some of these red dresses packing. I’m fairly sure I know who’s going home, but I’ll give them all the benefit of the doubt because maybe they had really good conversations off camera or something.

Kristina is crying (with an accent). Everyone is talking about making decisions in such a short time. It’s all about first impressions, ladies. This show has been on for 21 seasons now. How are you not aware of that?

Time for roses!

The first rose goes to Vanessa. No surprise there. She’s going to make it to the end.

Danielle L. gets the next rose. I still have no strong opinions about her. 

Christen gets the next rose, which is surprising. I knew she’d get one, but not this early on.

The fourth rose goes to Astrid, while Corinne freaks out.

Then Corinne gets a rose because this season needs a villain.

Kristina continues to cry while Elizabeth W., Jasmine G., and Raven get roses.

Then Kristina gets a rose and she stops crying.

Danielle M. finally gets a rose (even though she should have been the first person to get a rose).

Sarah gets a rose. I don't remember who Sarah is.

Josephine gets a rose because we need a fun gal this season, too.

Lacey the camel girl gets a rose while Hailey bad mouths Alexis. 

Taylor gets a rose because we need someone to counsel Corinne when she goes off the deep end and starts throwing furniture at the other contestants. 

Alexis gets a rose! Alexis gets a rose! She is still sure that she’s a dolphin.

Hailey, who isn't wearing panties, gets a rose. She’s relieved that she doesn't have to put her panties back on and hug the shark goodbye.

Whitney gets a rose. We still know nothing about Whitney. 

Dominique gets a rose while Liz worries that sex at Jade and Tanner’s wedding won't be enough to save her.

Jaimi gets a rose. Nick wants to see more of her balls.

Brittany gets a rose. Was she the one who gave him a prostate exam?

The final rose goes to Liz because this is reality television.

This means that the girls who didn't get roses are Briana, Susannah, Olivia, Jasmine B., Ida Marie, Angela, Michelle, and Lauren. They all put on brave faces as they leave the mansion, but some cry once they get outside. Part of me wants to hug them and tell them it’s all going to be ok, while another part of me wants to remind them that they signed up to be on a reality television show and knew that this was a very real possibility.

Liz reminds the audience that she’s already had sex with Nick. Where? At Jade and Tanner’s wedding! If I had a dollar for every time she mentioned that I would be able to buy the mansion and make Luke the Bachelor (because he's the Bachelor we deserved, people.)

That’s it for this week.

My top 5:

1. Danielle M.

2. Vanessa

3. Rachel

4. Taylor

5. Alexis