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hermionemonica · 4 years ago

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Hiding it from her: Chapter 3

AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Despite going to bed way late in the night, Kagami woke up on her usual time. She was tempted to skip the gym for the day, but she knew the physical exercise would help her clear her mind before the evening. And she needed to go to the fencing academy as well, she had not shown up the previous day without any notice.

The evening arrived faster than she would have liked it to. As the hour neared with every passing second, her anxiety reached greater heights. Even now she could not help but question herself if she was ready to face the man who she had loved with all her life, who had lied to her with a smile on his face, who had betrayed her very trust. Was she prepared to hear the answers from him?

Since last night she had been preparing in her head what to say. How to start the conversation so that there was no way to wriggle out of it. She needed to put an end to this, to settle this once and for all. If for nothing else, at least for her own mind's peace.

Kagami reached Adrien's apartment at 6:50 pm. As soon as she rang the bell, the door swung open and Adrien greeted her with a smile. Kagami hesitated before entering. She could not help but remember the last time she had come to this place. She breathed some determination into herself. There was a task at hand.

“Come in here,” Adrien pulled her into a room that appeared to be Marinette's working space.

“Are you sure I should be here?”

“I would not have called you in otherwise!”

Kagami looked around herself. The room was an organised mess. Absolutely Marinette. She walked over to the board set up on the wall, on which were pinned several unfinished sketches, quite possibly the ones she was working on currently. She noticed the little doodles and random words etched on the margins of the papers. Kagami smiled to herself, thinking of the eccentricities of the girl. But the smile disappeared in a moment, when she remembered what she had done to her. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

“Here you go.” Adrien’s voice brought Kagami down to her immediate surroundings.

She turned around to see him holding a dress in his arms. One of the most magnificent dresses she had ever set her eyes on.

It was a mid-thigh length dress with a maroon satin base. The dress flared out at the waist, and a black mesh fell over the entire bottom part. Details were embroidered in gold over the mesh. The same gold circled the waist like an ornate belt. It had a halter neckline, and the collar was accentuated with a golden border.

“Wow,” she breathed, “this is beautiful.”

“I know, right?” Adrien exclaimed with glee. “Now put it on, I'm gonna go outside.”

“Me?” Kagami was surprised.

“Duh, yeah! This was made for you!” Adrien rolled his eyes, shoving the dress into her hands. “Be quick now, we have other work to do as well.” Saying so, he ran out of the room, gently shutting the door behind him.

How hard would it be for Adrien to be a little less vague? He was making it really difficult for her to feel sorry for him.

This was made for you, he had said. Did he mean that literally or figuratively? Recent events must have addled her brain, she was looking too much into everything.

Kagami turned the dress around in her arms. It was a breath-taking piece of work. She admiringly ran her hand over the embroidery, feeling every stitch underneath her fingers.

It was then that she saw it.

Just under the belt, on the back of the dress was a very familiar pattern sewn in with the same gold. She had seen it enough times to recognise it instantly.

Marinette's signature.

That only added to her confusion. Marinette had made a dress for her, without her knowledge? And that was the one she was going to wear today, of all days?

She nervously moved near the door. Leaning against it, she called out “Adrien?”

On receiving no reply, she opened the door. Adrien was sitting in the drawing-room, and while she had a clear view of him, he could not see her because his back was turned to her. It appeared that he was talking to someone on the phone.

“Umm... Adrien?” She said a bit louder to get his attention. It worked.

Adrien turned around in his seat. His face immediately fell. “Yeah, I will talk to you later,” he spoke into the phone before ending the call.

“Is there a problem?” he spoke in a concerned voice, walking towards her. “Does it not fit you?”

“No, that's not it,” Kagami hesitated. “Adrien, are you sure I should wear this?”

A confused look came on his face, and then he burst out laughing. “Kagami,” he said, “will you stop worrying now? Just do as I say, okay? Trust me.”

Kagami was getting concerned, but about something else. Adrien still had the nerve to laugh? Was he losing his mind?

Adrien pushed her back into the room. “Now please hurry up, alright? And um, maybe do something with your hair to go with the dress, okay?”

It was all very strange but Kagami was left with no choice but to concede. Maybe this was Adrien's attempt at making her feel better about herself, of boosting her self-confidence. She stripped off the jeans and t-shirt and put on the dress. Standing in front of the mirror, she could not help but marvel at how good the dress looked on her. There was no doubt it was made for her; it was fitted to her measurements, complimenting her shape, skin tone and her eyes. Even though she and Marinette may not be on the best of terms right now, she had to praise her work.

There were some hairbands and bobby pins and other accessories on the table, but Kagami was really not in a mood. So, she put her hair in a short braid that hung over her left shoulder.

Kagami opened the door very silently. But she could not see Adrien anywhere. Panic began to bubble in the pit of her stomach, and she called out for him, “Adrien!”

“Just a minute!” his voice came from the room to her left. Kagami breathed a sigh of relief. She took a seat on the couch as she waited for her friend.

After a few moments, her ears caught the sound of a door opening behind her. She turned around just as Adrien was emerging from his room.

Kagami saw that he was dressed up as well. He was wearing a light green formal shirt and tailored black trousers that made his legs look even longer than they originally were. He was also wearing a salmon pink tie. His hair was brushed back, and it made his cheekbones look very chiselled.

“Oh my God, Kagami, you look... phenomenal.” Adrien's eyes were widened and his mouth was open.

“Thank you,” she acknowledged the compliment with a slight nod. “You look good too.”

“Thanks,” Adrien flashed her a grin. “Let's go then?”

Kagami nodded.

Adrien produced a pair of sandals for her that perfectly went with her dress. At this point, there were so many questions in her mind that she had lost the ability to even think for herself. So she just did whatever Adrien asked her to. It didn't look like she had a choice anyway.

When she sat in the car, she finally relaxed. She knew what was going to happen now. No more surprises, right?

Or so she thought.

Adrien pulled up at the side of the Liberty. “Here?” Kagami asked, because she was expecting to go to Luka's apartment. Liberty had been empty since Anarka went on tour with Jagged more than three months ago.

“Yeah,” Adrien said, typing away on his phone. “Do me a favour Gami, just go on. I'll catch up with you in a bit.”

“I could wait for you?” Kagami suggested.

“Uh, I think not,” came Adrien's response, which sounded a little weird. “Seriously Kagami, you know your way around. Go on now.”

Unsure, Kagami got out of the car. Adrien was right, she did know her way around this place pretty well, having spent a lot of her late teenage years there. Luka used to help her sneak out behind her mother’s back, and most of the time they would just chill on the houseboat. Luka would play his songs on his guitar for her. She had had her first kiss with-

No. Snap out of it, Kagami. This was not the time to think about all that stuff.

Kagami stepped up on the deck. Strangely, most of the lights were out. She began to doubt if Adrien had brought them to the right place after all.

Unconsciously, her steps had brought her to Luka's old room. Well, technically Luka and Juleka's old room. The room was dark, and presuming it to be empty, Kagami began to retrace her steps out of the room.

Just then she stopped. Someone began to play a guitar inside the room. A nostalgic, romantic tune. She spun around on her heels just in time to see the room be lit up in fairy lights.

And sitting on the bed, with a guitar slung over his shoulder, was Luka Couffaine.

Kagami was stunned into silence. What exactly it was that rendered her speechless was uncertain. It could be seeing Luka appear out of the darkness, or the pretty way the lights lit up the deck, or how ethereally handsome Luka was looking in that purple shirt (and that maroon tie that was exactly the same shade as the dress she was wearing). But at that moment, she lost all ability to think, speak, or move by herself. So she stood there, staring at the man in front of her, forgetting what she had even come here for in the first place.

“Hey,” Luka said nervously. Receiving no reply, he went on. “I am so sorry, my melody, for keeping you out of everything. I am really bad at hiding things, as you know. And since this isn't something I could have told you, I had to hide it from you. But turns out, I messed up big time, huh?” He let out a little laugh. Kagami was still frozen with the same expression on her face, so Luka decided to take the risk of walking a few steps towards her. “I really did not mean to make you feel left out of it. It's just, you know, I couldn't tell you. I know I did a bad job at it and you have every right to be pissed at me, but please talk to me, babe.”

“Wha- what's going on?” she finally managed.

Luka smiled, in that handsomely Luka way of his that made her melt into a puddle every time. It was only with a lot of conscious effort that she managed to hold her composure, although her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Thank goodness for the dim lights.

“Kagami, I love you,” as he spoke he kept walking towards her, “I love you so much. My life has been infinitely better since you became a part of it. There is nothing I feel luckier about than you loving me. You make me feel whole. The last twenty-four hours have been such a torture for me. And I never ever want to spend another moment separated from you, as long as I live.”

Saying so, he took a box out of his pocket and got down on one knee in front of her. He opened the box and held it up in front of her. It was a ring. “Kagami Tsurugi, my Dragon Queen, will you marry me?”

Kagami's eyes widened. “Wait,” she said, “what is happening?”

“I-uh, I am proposing to you?”

“And can you please smile a bit Kagami? You're ruining the shot.”

Kagami's head turned to the side to see who spoke.

“Marinette?”

“Yes, that's me. Now don't bother us,” she said as Adrien appeared behind her, “keep going.”

Kagami looked back and forth between them. “This is so not what I was expecting.” She clapped her hand to her forehead.

Luka stood up, concerned. “My melody, are you okay?”

“This is what was going on these last few days?” Kagami whispered, almost on the verge of tears.

“I guess I'm allowed to tell you now,” Luka rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, this is what I had been planning behind your back.”

“And you,” she turned to look at Adrien and Marinette in the doorway, “You two were a part of this?”

“Well yeah,” Adrien sounded just as nervous.

“Please don’t murder us Kagami,” Marinette said.

Kagami turned to look at Luka. “I am so sorry,” she muttered, before embracing him with all her strength. “I am so sorry for ever doubting you.”

“My love,” Luka wrapped his free arm around her.

After a while, she let go of him. “And I owe you an apology too, Marinette,” she turned to her, “Please forgive me.”

“I have no idea what is happening, but I forgive you. Although I have no idea what I'm forgiving you for. Please don't tell me later that you made me forgive you for eating my chocolate croissants, because you know I would never forgive you if you did that,” she ended with a fake glare, making everyone burst into laughter.

“By the way,” Luka said, with a smirk, “I didn't quite catch your reply back then?”

It took Kagami a while before she got what he was talking about. And then her face broke into a radiant smile. She grabbed Luka's face and pulled him down to her level to rest her forehead against his. “Yes!” her voice was both emotional and excited, “Yes, yeah yes! Of course I will marry you, my snake prince!”

“And now I got a perfect photo!” Marinette cheered on.

Luka put the ring onto Kagami's finger. It was a gold ring; the top of the ring was in the shape of a dragon's head with a ruby set in the place of its eye. Kagami gasped, making Luka smile. He then lifted her chin slightly to kiss her. Kagami wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled against his lips.

They broke off after a minute. “By the way, Marinette,” Kagami turned around in Luka's arms with a stern look on her face, “I am going to have a word with your boyfriend for confusing my brain all evening.”

Adrien laughed nervously, but Marinette blushed red. “Actually,” she spoke in a little voice, “My fiance."

“What!” Luka and Kagami exclaimed at the same time.

Marinette held up her hand to show them the sapphire ring that sat on her finger.

“When did this happen?” It was Luka who asked.

“This morning,” Marinette replied, “Right after I woke up.”

“Way to go, Adrien!”

“What?” Adrien raised an eyebrow, “You guys really thought I was going to let Luka beat me at this?”

Marinette playfully smacked him in his chest.

Kagami noticed that the shade of Adrien’s tie matched the colour of the dress Marinette was wearing, just like her and Luka. Oh. So this was the entire fuss about the dress.

“Let's take a group selfie?” she suggested.

“Hell yeah!”

#miraculous ladybug #my fic #hiding it from her #lukagami #luka couffaine X kagami tsurugi

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skvaderarts · 3 years ago

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Hiraeth Chapter 39: Sleeplessness

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Thirty-Nine:

Notes: And it’s on time today! I didn’t oversleep! YES! Let’s go!

(-~-)

Although largely unnecessary, no one had thought to inform them of just how early everyone in the manor rose from their slumber in the morning. And that was if they had actually gone to sleep the evening before. It was entirely possible from what little they had come to understand about the Ludwig family that they might not be the kind to sleep in the evening, instead choosing to stay up and practice… whatever it was that they practiced. They had somehow managed to dance around the topic altogether while still giving them a basic overview. It was enough to make one wonder if they were worried about judgment should they actually reveal their secret, or perhaps they studied so many things that they simply didn’t know where to start? Who was to say but them?

Breakfast was served at 6:30 sharp for some reason, although they were all informed that it would continue until 10 am for the mercy of those unable to pull themselves from the grave that early. A fortunate thing indeed considering the fact that as comfortable as the beds had been in their individual suites that none of them had wanted to. But despite that, Nero had forced himself to get up and go to the dining room once he'd been informed of the starting time. He couldn’t say that he’d ever been awoken at 5 in the morning to be invited to eat by literally anyone before, but if the smell that he had been greeted with upon waking up was anything to go by, the last thing that he was going to do was complain.

Making his way down the corridor, the young demon slayer yawned, stopping to lean against a nearby wall so that he could stretch out his back slightly. Upon turning back towards the direction he had been going in previously, he was surprised to see Sirrus sitting upon the ledge of a tall window just above his head. Nero couldn’t recall if he’d noticed his presence before, or if he’d even been looking for him. For a moment he considered the possibility that the adjudicator might be capable of doing more than he continued to let on.

“Hey. Didn’t know you were awake. Are you still reading?”

Sirrus looked down at him, seemingly noting his presence for the first time since he’d entered the hallway. He didn’t seem startled so much as he was surprised that he hadn’t noticed his presence up until now.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Your brother and I spent some considerable amount of time going over a few standouts from Aluta’s privately curated collection, and we believe that we have something.” Sirrus swung his legs around and allowed them to dangle instead of remaining in his resting position before continuing. “I trust that you slept well, then?”

“Pretty much. Yea. I had a lot going on in my head, so it took me longer than I thought it was going to to actually go to sleep, but once I did, I was out cold. You?” Nero said with a shrug. He was sure that there was a lot on the minds of basically everyone right now. Considering what was going on, it was hard to consider that very exceptional. Still, his mind wandered and he found himself contemplating the possibilities laid out before them. There was an awful lot going on in the grand scheme of things that didn’t make that much sense in his mind, and he had a fair number of questions. Maybe Aluta and Sirrus could fill him in?

“Oh, me? I don’t really sleep.”

“You can’t sleep?” That was admittedly strange to him as well as being an interesting revelation. He and the others had just both Sirrus and V sleep for the better part of a day or so after they had returned from Belial’s domain. What in the world was he talking about? Had he simply been faking it?

“No, it’s not that. I just… don’t most of the time.” The adjudicator smiled slightly and hopped down, standing before Nero. The younger of the two shifted slightly, seemingly stiff but otherwise fine.

“So you can just kinda choose not to, then?” Now that was weird even by his standards.

“Generally speaking, yes. I can stay awake for extended periods of time, just as easily as I can sleep for long periods of time. I simply don’t feel like sleeping right now. There is far too much to do to waste my time like that at this juncture.” He seemed both serious and half-joking when he made that statement, so it was decidedly difficult for Nero to tell if he was being entirely truthful, or bullshitting simply for the fun of it. Either way, that was all that he could go off of for now, so he would just take his word for it.

“What about before? You were out for like two days.” As far as he was concerned, that was the only true outlier to that statement. He’d seen him asleep with his own eyes just after arriving to see what had become of his brother. Unless he had been faking for some inconceivable reason, then he had been asleep at the time. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he had been unconscious. The two things were not exactly the same, after all.

“Due to a need to recover. I recover much quicker when I am asleep, especially when I am mortally wounded. I dare say that I still have yet to recover from my injuries, at least in a non physical way. I’ve healed, but my power reserves are utterly depleted.” Realizing that he probably needed to clarify the fact that he had been a bit more than asleep during that time. “I had simply been rendered unconscious and then chose to remain that way. It was in my best interests that I allowed myself the time necessary to recover so that I could be of use again.”

Nero took in this revelation, seemingly surprised by how straightforward yet strange that was to him. He could only imagine how strange that must be. But to be fair, it would also be useful. Being able to regulate your energy levels at your own discretion like that had to come in handy, unless that wasn’t the case. The better question might be…

“But… do you feel tired at all, then, or can you just turn that on and off, too?”

Pausing for a moment to consider his response, he made a strange face. “... Is that what you would consider the urge to rest? Because if it is, then no, I can’t say that I really feel that to begin with. The only thing that I feel that is similar to that is the need to rest and recover my strength after an injury, but it isn’t strictly necessary. I won’t pass out if I choose not to like a normal person would. I am incapable of overexerting myself in that manner.”

The young devil hunter had to admit that the more he learned about Sirrus, the more confused and fascinated he was by him. He already knew that he wasn’t human, at least not entirely, but that still didn’t explain away some of his… irregularities. One of these days he hoped that he could truly learn what he was, even if only to satiate his only curiosity. There wasn’t really another reason that he could come up with for why he would want to know something so personal about the other man, so he’d leave it be for now.

“Makes sense, I guess. What about eating? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that, either.” He asked casually, noting that they had gone to the kitchen last night together and the man with the red hair hadn’t bothered to do anything more than taste a thing or two with a spoon and a small glass dish. He never fixed a plate or bowl for himself as the rest of them did, and he disappeared while they were eating only for them to run into them about an hour later when they were heading up to their rooms. It was interesting in retrospect how he hadn’t noticed the strangeness of this at the time.

“It’s much the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love eating. I just don’t strictly need to in a biological sense. I guess you could say that my power sustains me. I can’t really starve to death, much as many demons cannot. If they could, the demon world would have fallen long ago, I suspect. Mortal blood is nothing more than a delicacy to them.” Sirrus stopped then, seemingly reconsidering his choice of words. It was thought he had just said “no, that can’t be right” to himself in his head. “... I could be wrong, however. I know that human blood is the source of much of the power that more powerful Devils seek. Perhaps there is something more to it than that. I’m probably oversimplifying things. Perhaps that would be a better question for your father. He seems thoroughly knowledgeable. I can’t pretend to know everything, after all. I’m no devil. All I can say is that I myself do not require such things like a demon or devil would.”

Before Nero could follow up, Sirrus turned his head slightly to the side, seemingly noticing something. Nero followed his gaze until it landed on V, realizing for the first time that the young Summoner had walked up on them both without drawing too much attention. But a quick glance at Sirrus indicated that he had noticed his presence long before now and had simply elected to not mention it. These questions and answers had been directed at both of them, not just Nero.

“Hey, V. What’s up?”

Looking at both of them through a set of heavy, half-lidded eyes, was V, having clearly just awoken from his much-needed rest. It had been a long night for him. Or perhaps a short one, depending on the time that he had gone to bed. He looked as though he might simply slump back against the wall and doze off, or just slink back to bed without a moment's notice.

“... Breakfast?” V said feebly, his brain failing to assemble a more noteworthy statement.

Nero and Sirrus glanced at one another before shaking their heads and laughing slightly. V was clearly tired, and it was probably best that they get him downstairs before he keeled over and hit the floor from apparent exhaustion. He wasn’t much of a morning person to start with, but it seemed that the events of the night before and the residual exhaustion that he probably still felt as a result of the damage that he had suffered at Belial’s hands was still weighing heavily upon him. A good meal and some additional rest was probably in order before he was able to so much as call it even.

“I must confess, it was a long night. We spent several hours together pouring over documents and scrolls and generally enjoying one another’s company. But it was a productive evening, I assure you.” Sirrus smiled brightly, something that genuinely took Nero off guard as they gently guided V towards the stairs. It was probably best that they feed him now and simply send him back to bed. No one that they needed to see was probably up yet anyway. And if they were, Nero couldn’t imagine that they wanted to be bothered this early in the morning. They would try again around noon.

A quick look over at V was enough for Nero to come to that conclusion. V desperately needed sleep, and he had the feeling that he would find a way to achieve that goal, one way or another. And if what Sirrus said was true, at least his brother had had a pretty good time last night. It was rare that he heard anything about him having a good time. “Um, yeah, I can kinda tell. V looks like you poured him into the bed like an hour ago and snuck out of his room so that none of us would realize that you were still awake.”

Laughing in a slightly nervous manner, Sirrus shrugged and gritted his teeth, batting his long eyelashes as he looked down at his feet. He’d been caught red-handed. That was basically exactly what he’d done, if he was being honest with himself. Slithering away at the crack of dawn like some renegade teenage misfit beset by the fear of the wrath of his parents. How very much like him.

“Unfortunately, as a direct result of my lack of a need to rest, I often underestimate the need to do so that others around me possess. I believe that I may have inadvertently forced your brother to stay up far beyond his prime. But at least we had some wonderful conversations.” He shook his head, glancing with fondness over towards the young devil summoner. V would never cease to interest him.

Nero had to admit that he was curious now. What on Earth had they spoken about so late into the night? V had never struck him as much of a conversationalist, except perhaps on the few short occasions that he had made the mistake of allowing him to speak openly about his love of literature. He suspected that his brother was quite literally capable of going on for hours like that if someone didn’t put a stop to it. Perhaps that was what had occurred? Either way, he found the notion that V had stayed up late into the night conversing with Sirrus to be intriguing. His older sibling so very much loved his rest, so the idea that he had delayed it to spend time with someone was… odd.

“Really now… you're gonna have to fill me in over breakfast. I think he’s gonna end up sitting this one through.”

Another soft laugh. “You assume that he will be sitting. He may very well be lying. On the floor.”

“You're not wrong. Let’s get downstairs. He’s pretty light, but if I accidentally bash his head against the wall or something on the way down there my dad is gonna be livid, and honestly, I just don’t want to hear that shit today.” He adjusted the half-asleep summoner, shaking his head again at the sheer state of him. It was almost funny how utterly exhausted he looked. V needed to take better care of himself. He knew that this had to be an awful lot for him to take in. “And I don’t think that my brother would really appreciate that, either. He has enough problems.”

“That is a fair point. We should hurry. I’m sure that everyone has picked the good options dry by now.”

(-~-)

They had spent the better part of the night going over the options presented to them, unsure as to what they could do in a time like this. Dante had been able to do very little with the books presented to him the day before, and not entirely sure what he was reading. Though he had managed to find a few interesting things, they had turned out to all be red herrings. This wasn’t really his forte. The youngest of the Dark Knight Sparda’s twin sons was a bit more hands-on when it came to seeking out information, and he couldn’t say that he really knew what to do with himself.

Lucia yawned sleepily, glancing over towards the far window. They were surrounded by paper and stacks of general reference books. There was simply too much going on in this room, and they knew that they weren’t getting anywhere with this. All attempts at organization had gone out of the window as soon as they had started to become tired, and so had their ability to properly process information. Everything was a mess.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. I need a nap.” Dante said as he stretched and let out a lazy yawn, completely aware of the fact that he just didn’t have the energy reserves to deal with this right now. It was a shame, but it was the truth. He would be more useful after his brain had undergone a little reset.

Nodding in agreement, Lucia stood from her spot on the floor. She’d been full of useful ideas and propositions yesterday, but for now, she was stumped due to the all-nighter that she had just pulled with her longtime friend. She wanted to do her best for everyone, but at the rate that she was going, there wasn’t a whole lot of useful assistance that she could offer.

“You’ve got a good point. I believe we should both…” She trailed off then, walking over towards the open window behind Dante with a slightly perplexed look on her face. From her spot, a procession of servants and worried-looking young women had all started in the direction of something on the other side of the manor, seemingly headed towards something with a frantic pace. “Dante… I think that something might be wrong.”

Upon hearing her declaration, he stood up, redirecting his attention towards what she was talking about. If Lucia had a bad feeling about something then he was going to look into it. It was that simple. She followed her gut, and he got the impression that her gut was normally correct in regards to these sorts of things.

He noticed the procession of members of the Ludwig household and folded his arms over his chest, seemingly as innately uncomfortable with it as she was. The pair turned and looked at one another before heading out of the door, intent on heading over to the other wing of the property and seeing what was going on. They needed to see what was going on over there.

Where were the others?

(-~-)

Hmm… Should we be worried about what’s going on? Because I feel like that might be the case. All the commotion kinda makes me feel uneasy, you know? But that’s a matter for Friday, so I guess we all have to continue suffering until then lol!

So anyway, how is everyone? Sorry for any delays? I’ve sorted out most of the book distribution things… I think. Anyway, I’ll update you on that soon!

#Hiraeth #V #My Post Devil May Cry 5 OC #My Post Devil May Cry 5 AU #DMC #Nero #Dante #Sirrus #Lucia #DMC5 #DMCV #Devil May Cry 5 #FanFic

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mistbornthefinal · 4 years ago

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Madoka Magica Aniversary Analysis: Part 7

Facing Your Pain

We find Sayaka returning to her home presumably just after the events of the last episode. She tosses down her Soul Gem onto the desk surprisingly carelessly given that she just learned that it’s literally her soul. As she addresses Kyubey he’s just there despite not being in any of the establishing shots.

“You tricked us, didn’t you?”

Kyubey’s response is complete bullshit because, yes he did. Kyubey reveals or conceals information according to his own interests in order to manufacture consent. Even if he never outright lies in the process it’s still blatant trickery and deception.

(pictured bunnycat being a dick)

Of course if anyone still didn’t get the memo he then places his paw on Sayaka’s Gem and makes her experience the unfiltered pain of being stabbed. In light of this scene it’s hard to believe that Kyubey is some kind of dispassionate utility maximizer. Regardless of what he might later claim about not having emotions it’s clear there’s some degree of sadism at work here and later on when he shows up to Homura’s house to gloat after getting Kyouko killed.

In particular his deployment of violence as an “educative” tool when his logic is questioned by those it exploits is all to human despite Kyubey’s claims of being beyond humanity.

He then tells Sayaka that it’s possible to completely shut out pain though he dose not recommend doing so. Which is clearly just him trying to push Sayaka into a worse place in order to put more pressure on Madoka to contract. What a dick.

(cue connect)

At school we see Sayaka’s desk has been folded into the floor of the school indicating her absence. We get a brief cut to Sayaka at home staring into her Soul Gem. Then we’re back on the #aesthetic rooftop with Madoka and Homura. Madoka askes if Homura knew about the lich thing and why she didn’t say anything before if she did. Homura says that no one she has told in the past believed her. Madoka then wonders how Kyubey can be so cruel.

Homura outlines Kyubey’s philosophy as she understands it. Kyubey does not share human values and as horrible as his price is it’s still small one for miracle. Even if Sayaka had dedicated every waking hour of her life to caring for Kyousuke he wouldn’t have gotten better. Yet still the cost of curing him was only Sayaka’s life.

Homrua tell Madoka again to give up on Sayaka. Madoka reminds us that Sayaka saved Madoka and Hitomi’s life back in episode 4, it’s not in Madoka to abandon a friend especially one who put her own life on the line to protect her. Homura tells her not to confuse gratitude for responsibility (you’re one to talk Homura-chan) and again asserts that Sayaka is beyond saving.

Madoka asks how Homura can be so cold to which she muses

(don’t cut yourself on that edge)

Meanwhile Sayaka is still lying in bed when Kyouko calls out to her telepathically. As they walk together Kyouko says she’s mostly gotten over the existential panic of “everything that makes you you is in this fragile Gem”. Having magic powers and being able to live as she likes is enough to satisfy her even considering the price (though she is still unaware of the true price of course). She restates her philosophy of living only for herself.

The two of them arrive at their destination the ruins of the Sakura family church, the ideal setting for Kyouko to relate her backstory. But first she offers Sayaka an apple, because symbolism. Sayaka tosses the apple away and an enraged Kyouko lifts her up by the collar and threatens to kill her. Kyouko doesn’t like it when people waste food for reasons that will soon be obvious.

Kyouko sets Sayaka down, picks the apple up, dusts it off, and returns it to the bag. Then she starts her story which is show to us through a filter of non-diagetic puppets. He father was a preacher, a kind soul who only wanted the best for people. However his desire to do the right thing let to him preaching an unorthodox dogma. He was excommunicated and his family fell onto hard times. A young Kyouko couldn’t stand how know no one would listen to him (though current Kyouko admits that from the outside it must have seemed like he was trying to start a cult.)

(this is what scientologists actually believe)

So Kyouko made her contract and the next morning their church was filled with believers, and the world gained another Puella Magi. For a time Kyouko considered her and her father as two sides of the same coin, each working to save the world in their own ways. Of course then her father found out.

Learning that his new followers were there not by his words but his daughters magic broke his spirt and caused him to turn against his daughter calling her a witch. He turned to drink and ultimately killed both himself and Kyouko’s mother and younger sister. Her wish destroyed her family, because she made that wish without knowing what the person she made it on behalf of truly wanted. So from that day onward Kyouko resolved to only user magic for herself.

Kyouko the asserts that hope and despair have to ultimately have to balance out. Something other characters will repeat even though it’s kind of dubious. Sayaka points out a hole in Kyouko’s logic if Kyouko is preaching pure selfishness then why worry over her. It’s clear that Kyouko sees her younger self in Sayaka and thus want’s to both save her and have her to validate how she has spent her life since she lost her family.

(insert Always Sunny style title card reading: “Sayaka regrets her actions”)

Sayaka isn’t interested in validating Kyouko. Instead while she admits that she had the wrong idea about Kyouko she reiterates her decision to never regret her actions. Sayaka then asks how Kyouko got those apples, when Kyouko is unable to answer Sayaka says that if she can’t say than there’s no way that she can partake. She turns to leave, she’ll continue to fight in her own way if that inconveniences Kyouko she’s welcome to try to kill her again. Sayaka no longer bares the other Puella Magi any ill will but neither is she willing to lose to her.

As Sayaka leaves Kyouko goes back to her old habit, attempting to fill the void of lost social connection with food. It doesn’t seem very effective.

The next day Sayaka returns to school and tries to play off her absence, but when she spots Kyousuke she is still unable to approach him. After school Hitomi calls Sayaka for a one on one meeting at the cafe. There she lays down her ultimatum. Hitomi also has romantic feelings for Kyousuke but in honor of their friendship and Sayaka’s longer relationship she will allow her to make the first move. However Sayaka only get’s 24 hours after which Hitomi will confess her feelings.

That night once again Madoka is waiting for Sayaka as she heads out on patrol. Sayaka asks why Madoka is so kind to her as her own opinion of her self has recently plummeted. She “almost” regretted something today, when Hitomi gave her that ultimatum she considered what would have happened if she hadn’t saved her. She’s already given up on being with Kyousuke as since she is a “zombie” having a romantic relationship is impossible.

This isn’t rational so to speak, rather Sayaka’s depression about not being able to live up to her ideals is effecting how she processes the revelation about what has been done to her body. To a certain extent she would rather call herself a monster than admit that she doesn’t have the courage to confess to her crush or that the idealized standard she set for herself is unachievable. Despite her low spirits she resolves to go kill a witch.

We then cut to the outside of a labyrinth presumably the one Sayaka is fighting in as Kyouko looks on. Homura joins her shortly and Kyouko says she isn’t going to interfere with his hunt, this is a Witch and fighting it is not a waste by her measure. She then notes that Sayaka is having trouble.

Then we cut to inside the barrier, and some of the most beautiful animation that Madoka Magica has to offer. Elsa Maria’s barrier is a world of monochrome with both the humans and the witch rendered as black silhouettes. This witch extends the religious imagery we had earlier with the only color (beyond touches of the girls image color on their outline) is the orange monstrance before which the witch prays.

Sayaka cuts her way through the witches familiars, animal heads on ribbons of shadow but when she reaches the witch proper an entire tree erupts from it’s body to engulf her. Kyouko comes to her aid cutting her free and offering to take over the fight.

Sayaka refuses and charges at witch again. This time she is heedless of her own injuries hacking away at the witch with savage abandon.

It’s true.

If I just detach myself...

it doesn’t hurt at all.

Madoka begs her to stop (cue magia)

Welp that was EP 7. Extrapolating backwards a bit we can sort of see how for the past few three episodes how Sayaka and Kyouko have arcs that are sort of inverse of each other. In EP 5 both of them them aspire to fill the narrative and physical space that was left when Mami died. Kyouko at first sells herself as the veteran magical showing the newbies the ropes while Sayaka swears herself to upholding the image that Mami projected to cover her loneliness. The two move to clash in ep 6 but the revelation of a part of Kyubeys system that neither of them (or Mami) was aware of shocked both to their core.

With their foundations shaken Kyouko attempts to reach to the girl she tried to kill who reminds her so much of her old self, opening up and sharing her trauma in the hopes that Sayaka can validate her philosophy. To hope the two of them can find some mutual solace in their failure of their old dreams. It’s not to be however as though Sayaka gives up her anger at Kyouko she rejects the possibility of connection. Instead she chooses to accelerate her downward spiral by doubling down on her desire to live up to her idealized image. Now Sayaka is in freefall and next episode we find out what happens when a Puella Magi hits rock bottom.

#semi-original content #puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica anniversary analysis

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james-stark-the-writer-wips · 5 years ago

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A Year At The Opera - Excerpt

Chapter 11, Part 2: Svetlana

WC: 2900 words. It’s not perfect but it’s here. I hope you like it :)

Svetlana

Going back like four days, back to the first day of school, we’re going to catch up on what’s been happening with her. So, Waverly, Sean and the rest had called her for a thing at the park, right? Well, she went home after school, asked her mom if she could go. Anya said yes but only if Svetlana would help her unpack tomorrow and after that, Svetlana drove out to the park. And that’s where we pick up.

Embrace Park was mostly filled with kids at this point, it being the middle of the afternoon and all, but Svetlana found the group standing by the large tree towards the other end of the park.

“You came!” Waverly said, walking up to Svetlana.

“I said I would.” Svetlana said, lightly hugging her.

“Come on, everyone's waiting.” Waverly grabbed Svetlana's hand dragging her along to the others.

“Hello there.” Sam said, expecting a ‘General Kenobi’ back. His face immediately fell when she didn’t reply back.

“Hey.” Svetlana said. “Alicia isn't here?”

“General Kenobi.” Waverly said to Sam, giving him a quick peck on the nose and making him turn his face to hide the fact that he was blushing.

“No, she and Leo couldn't make it.” Britney chimed in. “She's got a date with her girlfriend who lives over in the next town. Leo never comes out anywhere.”

“Cool.” Svetlana said. “So, like, what do you guys actually do around here?”

“Mostly we just hang out.” Sean said. “Talk about shit like what our days have been like, what's been going on at home or whatever shit we've got going. Think of this as casual group therapy.”

“Isn't group therapy already casual?” She retorted.

Sean chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“So… what do we do now?”

“I guess we talk. Let's get to know each other.” Sean said.

“Sounds good to me.” Svetlana said.

The group spent the next few hours talking and complaining about their life and whatever they had going on. They talked about a lot of things I'm not going to go over because they'd literally take hours so I'm just going to cover the highlights.

First. Britney filled in Svetlana about what happened to Waverly. Turns out, about three years ago, she’d gone on a trip where she’d decided to go swimming in the ocean and almost drowned. Since then, she’d been careful around talk of death and scared to go swimming. It had forced the group to adapt to some colorful expressions to talk about death around Waverly.

After that, the rest of them continued to talk about the mundanities of day to day life. Sam talked about his mom being a bitch, Britney complained about the lack of good looking guys and everyone rolled their eyes, basically telling Svetlana they’d been hearing the same thing for a long while and Waverly complained about her dad not liking Sam. They walked around the park as they talked. And finally, as the sun began to descend, Sean talked about a problem with his mom’s finances.

“She’s just been secretive, you know?” Sean said, “Like she’s trying to keep it from me, like she thinks she can hide it from me.”

“She probably just doesn’t want you to worry.” Sam said.

“Yeah well, it’s not fucking working. I took a peek at the bills yesterday. We might get kicked out, man.”

“You really think they’d evict you?” Waverly asked.

“If we can’t pay the bills, I doubt they have any other choice.”

“What about your dad?” Svetlana asked.

Everyone in the group stared at her awkwardly. Waverly inhaled sharply.

“Well, he left when I was five… so, he’s really not gonna be much help.” Sean said almost cheerily.

Svetlana got quiet. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“It’s fine.” Sean said, “It was a long time ago and there was no way you could’ve known.”

“So,” Brtiney stepped in to change the mood. “You’ve heard about our depressing problems, it’s only fair we get to hear yours.”

“Oh I don’t really have problems.” Svetlana brushed it off.

“That literally can’t be true. Everyone has problems.” Sam said.

“No, I swear. Home life is actually pretty good. And so far, so is the rest of everything.”

“You like the town so far?” Sean asked.

“Yep.” Svetlana nodded.

“Okay, so, if you don’t have problems right now, give us your tortured backstory.” Britney placed a firm hand on Svetlana’s shoulder.

“There’s not much to tell.” Svetlana began.

“So, you were born in Russia?” Sam asked inquisitively.

“Not really. Because my grandfather had married an American woman, my parents had come to live with them during the tail end of my birth so I was technically a United States citizen before my parents because I was born here. But, after I was born, my parents left with my grandparents for a year or so before they came back to get me. I spent about six years with them before they also migrated here. But they still have family there so they visit often and I go with them.”

“Cool!” Britney said.

“Not as much as you think.” Svetlana continued. “After we moved here permanently, we lived with my grandparents for a while but they died so we had to move away when I was about ten or eleven. My grandma’s parents really didn’t like us because they’re raging bigtots who think every russian is a communist and didn’t want us staying at the house so we moved to Philly for a bit then my dad got a good job working as a manager and we stayed there for a while and then my dad got a better offer and now we’re here.”

“That’s rough.” Sean said. “But I’m glad it worked itself out.”

“Hey, Sammy, what’s the time?” Britney asked.

“Uh, 6:05.” Sam replied.

“Shit! I have to go or my mom is going to strangle me. Bye!”

“Bye!” Waverly said as Britney ran off into the distance towards her car.

“We should get going too. It’s getting a bit late.” Sam said turning to Waverly.

“Yeah, we’ll see you both tomorrow then.” She gave Sean a cheeky smile, grabbed Sam’s hand and started to walk away.

“So…” Sean hooked his fingers in his pockets as he and Svetlana continued to walk.

“So…” She bit her lip.

Sean stopped and took in a sharp breath. “Hey, I know this is kinda forward but like, do you wanna go on a date with me?” Sean asked.

Svetlana didn’t know how to respond.

Sean must have noticed her distress because he immediately added, “You don’t have to answer immediately, obviously.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I know it’s weird considering we just met today but its just that…” He let out a sigh. “I’d like to take you out on a proper date and give this a shot before we have to file for bankruptcy.” He laughed to himself.

“Sure, why not?” Svetlana said. This could be fun. If nothing else, she could get a tour around town and the proposition of free food was always fun.

“Cool. How’s friday sound?” He smiled. “I could even give you a proper tour of the town, then.”

“It sounds awesome.” Svetlana said. “But I’m paying. For any services rendered.”

“Any services rendered? Whoo, there. That might cost you.” Sean said sarcastically. “But, jokes aside, if you want to, it’s your prerogative.”

“That’s a big word!” She joked. “What, did you pick up a dictionary today?”

“Ouch.” Sean said. “Word of the day app.”

Svetlana smiled, looking away.

“Here, give me your phone.” Sean said taking out his phone and handing it to Svetlana. She gave him hers. They quickly exchanged numbers and wishing her a quick goodbye, Sean walked away with a large smile stuck on his face.

Svetlana checked the time. It was already close to 6:30 and it was starting to get dark. Time to get home.

Svetlana reached home a little later. As the car pulled up to the driveway, the tires slowly dragging along the pathway, she spotted the silhouettes of her parents approaching the door from the living room window. Oh no, the curtains are pulled. The curtains were never pulled in the Petrova household. Not unless there was an emergency.

Fuck. She thought as she opened the car door and got out. Quickly locking it, Svetlana hurried to the door.

“Gde ty byla?” The door opened before Svetlana could get her hands on it and the large, imposing, absolute unit of a figure of Anatoly Petrova stood before her.

“It’s only seven, papa.” Svetlana protested.

“Seven in a new city, dochinka!” The slight russian accent in his voice was in a weird middle ground to Svetlana’s non-existent and Anya’s moderately-heavy russian accent. The accent had certainly faded over the years, and his five years of study here had helped as well but you could still here hints of it on occasion when he was angry or stressed. Perhaps it was an internal instinct to stick with what you knew.

“Can I come in? It’s freezing out here.” She rubbed her arms and Anatoly let out a protesting grumble but moved aside to let her in.

“Where were you?” Anatoly asked again.

“I made friends.” She replied, walking into the living room. “They invited me to hang with them at the park.”

“You could’ve called, Sveta!”

She looked over her shoulder just enough to see Anatoly in her periphery as she removed her phone from her low cut jeans and threw it on the couch. “I lost track of time. It won’t happen again.” She stated calmly. Fortunately, Anatoly was prone to freaking out about little things so Svetlana wasn’t worried much.

Anatoly walked in front of her to talk to her but before he could get another word out, Anya’s voice came from behind Svetlana. “We’ve been worried sick!” Anya’s tone was sharp and accusatory.

Svetlana turned to face her. Anatoly rolled his eyes. Anya continued, “Especially after what happened at your father’s job today and right on the first day too. This isn’t a good sign, devushka.”

“Whoa whoa. Stop.” Svetlana’s expression grew serious. “What happened at papa’s job?”

“You didn’t hear?” Anya asked innocently.

“It’s a little accident, don’t worry about it.” Anatoly said. “These things happen.” Unfortunately, Anatoly was also prone to making small things of big issues.

“What happened?” Svetlana asked again.

“A little accident? People are dead, Anatoly.” Anya spat.

“Whoa!” Svetlana stopped Anya. “Can you both just tell me what happened?”

“It is a massive radioaktivnoye leak.” Anya said. “Your father’s been cleaning up the mess all day.”

Svetlana turned to Anatoly. “God, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He reassured her. “I’ve just been trying to contain the situation all day. Thankfully the media haven’t caught wind of it yet.”

“But are you okay?”

“Yes, yes. The leak was taken care of quickly and the radiation was contained quickly. Somehow one of the tanks sprung a leak and flowed out but it didn’t do much damage to any important equipment. Ended up killing eight people though.”

Svetlana had to do a double take to even process how casually Anatoly said that.

“I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Have to get to work early tomorrow.” Anatoly said before turning to Svetlana and letting out a quick yawn. “And if you’re gonna be late, call before.”

“Yeah.” Svetlana nodded.

Anatoly climbed the stairs and made his way to his room.

“Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” Anya placed a warm hand on Svetlana’s back and guided her to the kitchen.

The next few days passed in relative silence. With the school closed for a while and not much to do, Svetlana spent the days helping Anya unpack and binging shows and movies and Youtube video essays about those shows and movies. But, time flew by and it was officially friday. The big date was here.

And, right on time, the bike arrived out Svetlana’s house.

“Mama, I’m leaving!” Svetlana shouted grabbed her jacket and reaching for the door.

“Don’t be too late!” Anya shouted back.

“I’ll call if I’m gonna be late.” Svetlana said before exiting the house.

Sean turned the key in the bike and shook his head to straighten his hair that had been tousled up by the wind.

Svetlana quickly jogged up to him.

“Ready?” He asked.

“As I’ll ever be.” She quickly answered.

She was certainly excited to be going on this little date but more than that she was really excited to be on that bike. It looked like a beauty, the sun glimmering off it’s glossy paint. The seat wasn’t too low which was comfortable for Svetlana’s tall 5’7 figure.

“Get on then.” Sean smirked.

“Where are we going?”

“I guess you’ll find out soon enough.” Sean said. “Grab on tight, we’re going fast.”

A smile crept on his face as Svetlana got on and put her hands on his shoulders.

“Here we go.” The bike sped off into the sunset.

As the sun flared behind them in the distance, Svetlana and Sean arrived at their destination about ten minutes later.

“So,” Sean said, parking the bike. “Welcome to Chester’s: the supreme hangout spot for literally everyone and the best milkshakes in the state with pancakes to rival Rose’s, over in Tenebris.” His tone resembled an overenthusiastic advertisement.

“Well, I guess we’ll see, won’t we?” Svetana said quickly running a hand through her hair to straighten the rebellious blond strands that had flown everywhere as they flew through city traffic at high speed.

“Let’s head in then. You will never have milkshakes like this anywhere.” Sean said, stuffing the keys in his pocket.

“Thats’s going to be a hard challenge, I’ve had milkshakes at Vinny’s.” Vinny’s, as you probably know, is regarded to have some of the best milkshakes in the world.

“Well, I’m sure they can’t compare as far as taste.” Sean walked towards the door and opened it, letting Svetlana go in first.

“Ah, a gentleman, I see.” Svetlana joked.

“Perfect behavior.” Sean replied perfectly seriously, walking in with her.

“How delectable.” Svetlana muttered under her breath.

The sound of the bell above the door subsided as Sean turned to Svetlana. “So, where do you wanna sit?”

“Well, you’re the expert, where’s the best seats in the house?”

“That would be the far left booth but unfortunately, it seems to be taken.” Sean pointed at the booth.

Svetlana saw Mason sitting with Ingram, instantly identified with his fiery red hair, while the ‘Manic Pixies’ as Britney had called them, stood talking to the boys.

“So,” Sean continued, “Best seats in the house are probably going to be the second booth on the right.”

“Lead the way!” Svetlana said.

But even as they walked, Svetlana couldn’t stop thinking about Ingram.

As they slid into the booth, she turned around for a quick glance at him. They were still talking to the girls.

“So, what do you want to eat?” Sean asked.

Svetlana smiled at her and whispered a quick thank you before turning back to Sean. “Well, what milkshake would you say is the best?” She looked over the menu.

“I’m biased but I’d personally take the strawberry. But, you know, chocolate chip is never a bad choice if that’s your thing.”

“Nope. Strawberry sounds good to me.”

“Great! Anything to eat?”

“I’m just gonna have some fries but you can get whatever you want. Or we could get a large fires and split it.”

“Shakes and fries? Sounds godawful.”

“FYI, It’s actually delicious. Chester always puts more salt on mine because he knows I love them and they go amazingly well with the fresh, fruity, sweet milkshakes.”

“Alright, if you say so. But I’m also getting a burger to go with those fries.”

“Cool.” He said. “Hey, Arlene!” He called out and the waitress from before quickly hurried over.

“Yep?” Arlene took out her notepad.

“Alright, so, two strawberry milkshakes, go heavy on the whipped cream, a little extra sweet. A side of large fries, half curly, half plain, extra salt and a burger for the lady right here.”

“Got it.” She quickly rattled off the order back to them to confirm it and then hurried off behind the counter.

“And now we wait.” Sean muttered under his breath.

Svetlana’s eyes drifted off her menu to the Pixies who were starting to walk away.

“Hey,” She asked, “You mind if I go check up on him? I didn’t really get a chance to see how he is.” The words flowed out without a second thought.

“Uh, sure.” Sean said, visibly tensing up. “We have some time to kill before the food comes anyway.”

And Svetlana realized what she’d done.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m stupid. It’s rude.” She quickly said. Ugh, she couldn’t believe she’d been this stupid. God, she couldn’t even imagine how poor Sean felt. He must’ve felt she was ditching him.

“No, I swear, it’s fine. I have to call my mom anyway.” He said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He said but he was still tensed up.

“I’ll be right back.” She was already off the seat before beginning that sentence and making her way to Ingram Shaw.

#writeblr #writblr #creative writing #original writing #writing #wip #AYATO #A Year At The Opera #excerpt #excerpts from my writing #writeblr community

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phroyd · 5 years ago

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Like many arguments, the fight over the term “concentration camp” is mostly an argument about something entirely different. It is not about terminology. Almost refreshingly, it is not an argument about facts. This argument is about imagination, and it may be a deeper, more important conversation than it seems.

In a Monday-evening live stream, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, of New York, called the U.S.’s detention facilities for migrants “concentration camps.” On Tuesday, she tweeted a link to an article in Esquire in which Andrea Pitzer, a historian of concentration camps, was quoted making the same assertion: that the United States has created a “concentration camp system.” Pitzer argued that “mass detention of civilians without a trial” was what made the camps concentration camps. The full text of Ocasio-Cortez’s tweet was “This administration has established concentration camps on the southern border of the United States for immigrants, where they are being brutalized with dehumanizing conditions and dying. This is not hyperbole. It is the conclusion of expert analysis.” Hackles were immediately raised, tweets fired, and, less than an hour and a half later, Representative Liz Cheney, of Wyoming, tweeted, “Please @AOC do us all a favor and spend just a few minutes learning some actual history. 6 million Jews were exterminated in the Holocaust. You demean their memory and disgrace yourself with comments like this.” A high-pitched battle of tweets and op-eds took off down the much travelled dead-end road of arguments about historical analogies. These almost never go well, and they always devolve into a virtual shouting match if the Holocaust, the Nazis, or Adolf Hitler is invoked. One side always argues that nothing can be as bad as the Holocaust, therefore nothing can be compared to it; the other argues that the cautionary lesson of history can be learned only by acknowledging the similarities between now and then.

But the argument is really about how we perceive history, ourselves, and ourselves in history. We learn to think of history as something that has already happened, to other people. Our own moment, filled as it is with minutiae destined to be forgotten, always looks smaller in comparison. As for history, the greater the event, the more mythologized it becomes. Despite our best intentions, the myth becomes a caricature of sorts. Hitler, or Stalin, comes to look like a two-dimensional villain—someone whom contemporaries could not have seen as a human being. The Holocaust, or the Gulag, are such monstrous events that the very idea of rendering them in any sort of gray scale seems monstrous, too. This has the effect of making them, essentially, unimaginable. In crafting the story of something that should never have been allowed to happen, we forge the story of something that couldn’t possibly have happened. Or, to use a phrase only slightly out of context, something that can’t happen here.

A logical fallacy becomes inevitable. If this can’t happen, then the thing that is happening is not it. What we see in real life, or at least on television, can’t possibly be the same monstrous phenomenon that we have collectively decided is unimaginable. I have had many conversations about this in Russia. People who know Vladimir Putin and his inner circle have often told me that they are not the monsters that I and others have described. Yes, they have overseen assassinations, imprisonments, and wars, but they are not thoroughly terrible, my interlocutors have claimed—they are not like Stalin and his henchmen. In other words, they are not the monsters of our collective historical imagination. They are today’s flesh-and-blood monsters, and this makes them seem somehow less monstrous.

Anything that happens here and now is normalized, not solely through the moral failure of contemporaries but simply by virtue of actually existing. Allow me to illustrate. My oldest son, who spent his early childhood in a Russian hospital, was for many years extremely small for his age. I spent useless hours upon hours in my study in Moscow, where we then lived, poring over C.D.C. growth charts. No matter how many times I looked, I couldn’t place him—he was literally off the chart. As far as the C.D.C. was concerned, my son, at his age, height, and weight, was unimaginable. When he was four, I took him to see a pediatrician in Boston. She entered his measurements into her computer, and a red dot appeared on the chart. I felt my body finally relax; my child was no longer impossible! He was on the chart. Then I realized that the pediatrician was working with an interactive chart. (This was in the early aughts, and there weren’t any available to me at home.) She had just put him in the system. His little red dot was still below the lowest, fifth-percentile curve. He was still the smallest child of his age. But a sort of cognitive trick had been performed. My son’s size had been documented, and this made him possible.

Donald Trump has played this trick on Americans many times, beginning with his very election: first, he was impossible, and then he was President. Did that mean that the impossible had happened—an extremely hard concept to absorb—or did it mean that Trump was not the catastrophe so many of us had assumed he would be? A great many Americans chose to think that he had been secretly Presidential all along or was about to become Presidential; theychose to accept that, now that he was elected, his Presidency would become conceivable. The choice between these two positions is at the root of the argument between Ocasio-Cortez and the critics of her concentration-camp comment. It is not an argument about language. Ocasio-Cortez and her opponents agree that the term “concentration camp” refers to something so horrible as to be unimaginable. (For this reason, mounting a defense of Ocasio-Cortez’s position by explaining that not all concentration camps were death camps misses the point.) It is the choice between thinking that whatever is happening in reality is, by definition, acceptable, and thinking that some actual events in our current reality are fundamentally incompatible with our concept of ourselves—not just as Americans but as human beings—and therefore unimaginable. The latter position is immeasurably more difficult to hold—not so much because it is contentious and politically risky, as attacks on Ocasio-Cortez continue to demonstrate, but because it is cognitively strenuous. It makes one’s brain implode. It will always be a minority position.

Masha Gessen, a staff writer at The New Yorker, is the author of ten books, including, most recently, “The Future Is History: How Totalitarianism Reclaimed Russia,” which won the National Book Award in 2017

Phroyd

#concentrationcamps #immigration #aoc

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latislab · 6 years ago

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6/12 - Considering deleting the blog

No, I'm not considering it because of the recent announcement that blogs unsuitable for children will be deleted (or, at leat, not only for this), it's something I've been considering for a long time because posting in my blog is becoming a real pain. Let's start from the fact that for almost a year that I (and from what I've seen many others) started to have problems even to post an image, every media I uploaded gave me "Upload error", so dozens and dozen of attempts to be able to load it, I literally spent hours just to show in my blog a work done by me. Besides this, the last time I tried to reply to a post, I spent twenty minutes to give a detailed answer with images (besides the fact that for me it’s not easy, because I don’t speak English very well), and not only did I have to try again for about an hour to publish it, when it was finally published it did it badly, because in the app the post was not shown complete, it shown only the first sentence. And no, it was not even possible to change it because, for some absurd reason, although I had done everything from the PC, it said that the post was created by the app, and going to edit from the app practically erased the whole post.

I tried to ignore all of this, in the end I have 1500 readers and I would hate to lose them, but I have come to the point of renouncing to Tumblr, because now with the news of the elimination of nsfw blogs, they have started to delete content that have nothing to do with nsfw, like my post of Midoriya, because I did a shirtless render of him. I would like to show you the screenshot of the post, but honestly I don’t want to waste an hour just to upload it. The point is, I could even bear all of this, in the end I can understand that they have thousands of blogs to check, many bugs to fix and solve the situation of the bots, and it’s certainly not an easy thing, but the problem is that nobody is doing nothing to fix all of this, it's been years that Tumblr has problems and continues to have them today, and instead of getting better every day gets worse and worse, and although I personally have no interest in blogs with sexual content, block them only to eliminate the problem of bots is the stupidest and lazy solution that they could take, it's like saying that they don’t care about their users, and I think that's the case.

That said, I don’t know if I’ll delete the blog permanently or just stop posting here, in any case if you want to continue to follow my work you can follow me on other socials, such as:

Patreon Facebook Youtube Discord Deviantart Twitter

In case I’ll stop posting here, thanks to all those who have followed me for all these years and who have helped me to grow here

#update #i'm done with tumblr

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theultravioletcatastrophe · 8 years ago

Note

Every whole number x when f(x)=sin(x^0.75), such that f(x) is decreasing

…okay, I put that equation into Wolfram Alpha, but the graphs it shows you by default are extraordinarily hard to read, and you can’t get any further detail without signing up for a Pro (i.e. paid) account, soooooo…. I’m just gonna answer all of them! Hope that’s okay! ^^;;;

1. First console you’ve ever owned?‘Twas the original NES. I was so happy when my parents bought it (although tbh my dad bought it as much for himself as for me). I spent so many hours playing the SMB games… ahh, good times.

3. Favorite childhood game?Hmmm, probably Super Mario Bros. 3. That was the one I spent the longest playing, anyway. My mom even went to the trouble to borrow the strategy guide from the library, photocopy the whole thing, and bind it together into a book for me. My mom was the best. ;_;

4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played a game?Whew, uhhh, not as long as some people, I’m sure. I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than 8 hours straight playing games. I’m certainly no match for the likes of Neptune and Vert, that’s for sure. ^^;;;

5. Game with the best soundtrack?I actually really really like the soundtrack from the first Hyperdimension Neptunia game. A lot of those songs just get stuck in my head, y'know? Especially Nepgear’s theme. :3

6. An underrated game from within the last few years?Hmm, gonna go with Akiba’s Trip: Undead & Undressed. It apparently only got a 64/100 on Metacritic, which is WAY too low for how fun this game is.

7. Most disappointing game you’ve played?Honestly? Most of the Jak and Daxter series. I really really wanted to like those games, but I just… couldn’t. There was just something about them that really turned me off. I enjoy other, similar games, so I don’t know what it was. I got all of them for super cheap (like probably $5 each) so it’s not like I spent a bunch of money on them, but I still felt ripped off, y'know?

8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery?The Metroid Prime games, for me, had some of the best settings. Nicely-rendered and completely appropriate for the feel of the game. If you’ve never played any of the MP games, please do so. If you can play the Wii controls versions, so much the better (it’s playable with the Gamecube controller but once you use the Wiimote to aim Samus’s gun you’ll never go back).

10. Prefer PC or console?Based solely on the number of games amassed, PC wins out, but I honestly don’t prefer one over the other.

11. Have you written any fanfic or made any fanart?…not of video games, no.

12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played?It’s pretty tame, but probablyyyyyy…. Goat Simulator. Like, what the fuck even is this game.

13. Scariest game you’ve played?Well, I haven’t actually played it yet, but the scariest game I currently own is probably Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion.

14. Do you watch playthroughs online?Not really, no.

15. Favorite animal in a video game?This is kind of an odd question… I’m gonna have to go with Gex the gecko, particularly from the second game. I loved that game so much.

16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced?Literally every year seems better than the last, so I can’t really answer this question. This year has been pretty amazing so far, but then, I’ve said that about every other year past, so… ^^;;;

17. Have a video game themed background or lockscreen?LOL of course I do! My desktop wallpaper is Neptune and Nepgear, and my phone’s lock screen and home screen are both pics of Purple Heart.

18. Worst game you’ve played?Ooh, interesting question. I don’t really know if I can answer this properly? One of the games that stands out to me is called Sparkle 2 Evo. The graphics were nice but the controls were awful and it was nearly unplayable. The devs might have patched it since, but I kinda lost interest in it so I don’t really care at this point.

19. Hardest game you’ve ever played?The hardest game I’ve seriously played is probably VVVVVV. Fuck that game. >:(

20. Favorite publisher and/or developer?If I don’t say Idea Factory (and/or Compile Heart) I’ll feel like I’m betraying my beloved Neptune, so I’ll go with them.

21. If you had to play one game for the rest of your life, what would it be?I don’t know if this really counts as a video game, but I’m gonna have to say Mamono Sweeper.

22. If you could turn one game into movie, which would it be?The first game that sprang to mind was Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. It was such a cool game, I’d love to see a cinematic version of it (also can you IMAGINE Samus on the big screen? EEEEEEEEEEEEEE).

24. Ever cried because of a video game? Which one(s)?Oh, probably! I know SMB3 made me cry when I was little because there was one level I just couldn’t beat no matter how many times I tried it. I forget which level it was now, lol.

25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming?Hmmm, probably the time I finally actually beat Indalecio in Star Ocean 2, when you do the event where his power limiter is removed and he basically becomes a god. Fuck me sideways, that was an insane fight.

26. How often do you play online? Co-op?Almost never! The last game I played co-op was MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune Vs. Zombies (I played with @aboutthreeneps), but I really don’t do online gaming much.

27. Have you gotten any friends into gaming?Maybe? Most people I’m friends with are either already into gaming, or else they’re not interested, so…. probably not.

28. Who got YOU into gaming?Hmm, I guess it was my dad. I watched him play a bunch of games when I was a small child and was like “THAT LOOKS SO COOL I WANNA DO IT TOO”.

29. Watch cutscenes or skip them?I usually watch them, unless it’s one I’ve seen a bunch of times (or one you can’t skip… damn unskippable cutscenes).

30. On average, how long does it take you in the character creation screen?…quite a while. It depends on the game, I guess. When I made a new character in Stardew Valley today, I spent between 5-10 minutes, but when I was creating a character in Saints Row IV, I probably spent close to an hour tweaking every little variable to get it just right.

32. Do you cosplay?Not really, although I did cosplay as Squall from Final Fantasy 8 one time. I still have the gunblade sitting around somewhere.

33. Favorite female npc?34. Favorite male npc?These two questions are really hard for me to answer! Mostly because I find games fall into either one of two categories: ones where the NPCs are faceless and forgettable, and ones where the NPCs are extremely well-done and I love all of them.

35. Best protagonist?Neptune, duh.

36. Best antagonist?I like GLaDOS from Portal.

37. Ever been made fun of for playing video games?Hmm, I don’t think so.

38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then tried again, and loved it?Again, I don’t think so? There’s been plenty of games where I’ve been like “meh” at first and then “OMG THIS GAME IS AWESOME” later, but I don’t think there’s any I really hated that I went back and liked later.

39. Do you play for achievements/trophies?Not explicitly, or at least, not at first. I tend to play through the story of a game first, and then on my second playthrough I’ll try to get most of the achievements.

40. Favorite voice actor?A new favourite, but a favourite nonetheless: Megan Hollingshead.

41. Gone to a midnight release before?Nope! Any of the games I’ve been excited for either never had this sort of event, or else they did but I just got on the bandwagon too late. I’m incredibly behind the times when it comes to keeping up with this sort of thing. T_T

42. A game you will never forget (in a bad OR good way)?Star Ocean 2. That game will stay with me forever. In a good way. :3

43. Favorite sidekick or companion?Ooh, good one! I really liked Eryn from Fairy Fencer F. She’s such a sweetie, and Fang treats her like garbage for most of the game, so I think I was especially drawn to her because he wasn’t.

44. Do graphics matter?They have to be done well, and the style has to fit with the overall style of the game. Other than that, I don’t care. A game isn’t instantly better by having more realistic graphics or whatever, I don’t care.

45. Do you like funny or more serious games?I tend to like more funny games, overall.

46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles?Sometimes. It really depends on the game.

47. First person or Third person?Both??? How is this even a question lmao

48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but have never gotten to it?Bastion. I watched a friend play some of it and it looked super cool, and I own it, I’ve just never played it for some reason.

49. A game you haven’t played in forever, but want to replay?Hmm, I kind of want to play Cave Story again. I love that game

50. How many games to do you own?I currently have 186 games in my Steam inventory, and counting the various consoles I own it’s probably at least 250.

51. First character you’ve had a crush on?I can’t really think of any right now! I did kind of have a crush on Princess Toadstool in Super Mario RPG, I guess that’s the earliest character I can remember.

52. A game you will always stand behind, and support no matter what?All of the Hyperdimension Neptunia games. I own all 4 of the main series games (Re;Birth 1-3 and VII) and 4 of the spinoff games (Nep U, Hyperdevotion Noire, MegaTagmension, and PP), and I’ve bought more Neptunia merchandise than I have for any other game series.

53. Your most immersive game?Most of the Pokemon games, for me, have been pretty immersive. Like, I take it upon myself to learn everything about them, I keep written notes on lots of stuff, I actively plan out my strategies in advance, etc.

54. A sequel you really want?Hmm, can’t think of too many. Most of my favourite games are series anyway, so they already have sequels. :P

55. How much time, on average, do you play in a week?Hard to say, some weeks I barely play at all, some weeks that’s all I do. I’d say on average, like taking the arithmetic mean, it’d be around an hour a day.

56. Do you tell people irl that you play video games?Oh, for sure. There’s not really a stigma around it anymore since everyone plays video games these days (the whole notion of “gamers are over” and all that).

57. What is an overrated game you’ve played?Basically every MMO I’ve ever played. I just don’t get the appeal.

58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scene between you and you LI?I’m going to assume that “LI” stands for “love interest,” like as in the love interest of the main character of a game, otherwise this question makes no sense (even as is it doesn’t make much sense). No, this has never happened. I can’t recall any games I’ve ever played that have had explicit sex scenes. Other than, like… HuniePop or something, but even that’s not really explicit, it’s mostly just moaning. (Unless they released some super-X-rated update or something, I haven’t touched that game in a loooooooong time.)

59. A game you are looking forward to this year?

FOURGODDESSESONLINE

61. A game you know everything about?Star Ocean: The Second Story. I know that game like the back of my hand. I could probably play it blindfolded.

62. Would you want to work with video games when you are older?I want to work with video games now! I *AM* older, dammit! (Especially after watching all of New Game!, I really wanna work for a development studio. I don’t even care doing what, I just wanna be in the industry!)

63. What’s a game that has inspired you?Hmm, I can’t really think of any games that have “inspired” me. Like, in what way? I don’t know.

64. Describe your favorite video game using only three words?Neptune = best girl. (I don’t know if an equals sign counts as a word, if so you can take it out and my point still stands.)

65. Any favorite screenshots of games?I’ve posted a few on my tumblr, mostly from Nep games.

66. Game with the yummiest looking food?Uhhhh…. hmmm. I mean, Portal had that delicious-looking cake. Stardew Valley has some decent food too.

67. Most violent game you’ve played?Honestly, probably One Finger Death Punch. Being that the entire point of the game is slaughtering hundreds of enemies with either your fists or whatever weapons you happen to find lying around. I mean, it’s all stickmen, but still.

68. An older game that you’ve just recently gotten into?I honestly can’t think of any! The oldest game I’ve gotten into *recently* is the aforementioned Akiba’s Trip: Undead & Undressed, but that came out in 2014, so I don’t know if it’s old enough for the purposes of this response.

69. Your first LI?…not quite sure what this means. Love interest? Like, first character from a game I fell in love with? First game I played where the main character had a love interest? I honestly don’t know how to answer this one.

70. Do you play any mobile games?A few. Not counting portable consoles (i.e. the 3DS or PS Vita), I have a handful of games on my phone (Sailor Moon Drops, Monument Valley, Mushihimesama, I even have Carmageddon on my phone (yes, they released an iOS port of that game somehow)).

71. A game you can’t stop talking/thinking about at the moment?Well I did just pick up Stardew Valley again, so I’m probably gonna be thinking about that for a while. Same with that Neptunia idol game, I just started playing that and it’s super fun.

72. Have any guilty pleasure games?Of course not, why do you ask?

73. A game with the best fandom?Overall, my experience has been that Neptunia fans are all pretty awesome. :D

74. Which game has the best lore?I actually love the lore from the Metroid series. The whole history with Samus and the Chozo is so interesting to me.

75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first?I do both! I’ll play the main storyline until either (1) I need to grind more because the enemies/bosses are getting stronger, (2) I need to get better equipment and need either materials for crafting, or money for buying stuff, or (3) the main story is in a lull and I get an interesting side quest. Usually once I go off on a sidequest tangent, I don’t come back for a good long while (to the point where I’ll stop playing the game for a while and then when I come back to it I’m like “ok wtf was I supposed to be doing? I don’t remember, maybe I’ll just start over again lol”).

These were fun questions, thanks for asking! ^_^

#ask #euthymiclurker #video games #ask me a thing!#also sorry rachel someone inadvertently beat you to the punch #partly due to my inability to do complicated math anymore lol

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team-adults-blog · 8 years ago

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4.03 The Four Horsemen

A Reaction: Apologizing for the map upfront. Not as funny or with as good of an analysis aspect as 4.02, but my reactions to kabby will always be prime.

NYKOOOOOO I love him so much. Dang they 40+ on the way.

Lol Abby is either the only sensible one or overly dramatic because she’s the only one who covers her face before approaching.

All the animals are dyinggggg noooooooooo

Hold up. When did Octavia get a kick-ass sholder tat? This is definitely a major step in her assimilation into grounder culture. It’s more than just Indra accepting her now- maybe it’s only trikru at the moment and she gets the tattoo from them, but it’s still a big step from last season when she’s still getting hate from them. Sure she’s always going to get hate for being an outsider, but probs more from killing everybody now. Kudos. It’s rad.

Indra “I’m so proud” Roan one death to save thousands, it’s good politics. Indra has the warrior daughter she’s always wanted, but has it gone too far?

Dr. Squad all with crossed arms. What a posse. So happy for Sachin. His promotion shots on instagram made me even happier.

These like 6 people are all that’s left of Luna’s people… So fish are not friends. Or food.

Yo check out this groovy map of the mid-Atlantic. Here’s the fun part where I waste way too much time trying to pinpoint where these places are using google maps.

[Skip if you don’t have time right now or are just rude]

Polis=Baltimore/ Dc, looks a little above DC based on the Bay. It makes sense for Polis not be in DC because Trikru is. Tondc/ Ton DC was like “Washington DC” on a road sign and Lincoln got his name from the Lincoln memorial, which we get a glimpse of in S1.

Mount Weather= Looks to be around Luray area- which is really interesting to me because the cave/ tunnels would check out. A caving plug: Luray and Grand Caverns have really great features, but they’re dead. Railings and steps and lights have been put in everywhere to make it more accessible for folks, but more importantly to bring in a ton of money. To see Living caves in the valley, my brother is a cool dude who takes his students- and more importantly me- to see neat things without harming the cave like some punk ass bitch yanking stalactites off the ceiling.

Arkadia= Looks to be around Culpeper… but if it was slightly more south (because the map Raven has is shit, but I’ll get to that) I could argue it’s between Charlottesville (!!!) and Culpeper, although more towards Culpeper. Like Orange/Madison counties. Literally no one cares about this but me because that is my homeland. Also TJ, Monroe (the president, not the dead character from this show that I should get back to…), and J Maddy-Mads. Zach-attack (this also works because he was a major general, not just for the rhyme) Is actually the closest to Arkadia- his house is in barboursville which puts him 25 min closer to Culpeper than TJ and Monroe. GW is up by Ton DC. Wilson is southwest of Arkadia. I don’t know/care enough about where Tyler and William Henry Harrison were from and I’m not going to look it up. This history/ geography lesson was brought to you by the Mother of Presidents, and viewers like you. Thank you.

Luna’s Rig= Somewhere off of DE/NJ coast. They might go back there, but otherwise I honestly don’t care where exactly the rig is. Like. Nyko just said that 40 people died on their way to Arkadia and Luna’s like this is all that’s left of my people. Soooooo… sorrynotsorry

Becca’s Island- I struggled figuring out what that said. I’m leaning towards it being a fictional island because the only thing I can think of it being is Sandy Hook. However, there seems to be land in the bay, soooo Sandy Hook would be part of the continental land mass instead of an island. If the picture wasn’t so wonky the only argument would be for Sandy Hook. I believe it’s only listed here because it will become plot relevant later this season when the tech team decided they need to access Becca/ A.L.I.E.’s drone or something to monitor radiation.

Note: The coastlines don’t match up perfectly. At first I was excited they’d taken rising sea levels with climate change into account, but that should make the bay larger and thus the gap between eastern Maryland/ Delaware and DC larger. So some of the Virginia coast looks good, but the east coast is on a passive margin (I took Geology guys can you tell), which means that it’s not colliding into another plate and thus being squished in on itself or mountain building (this is happening in the middle of the Atlantic) like on the U.S. west coast. But at the end of the day, I don’t think they really considered this when creating that map because 1) some areas are larger than they are now (like Long Island is now a peninsula instead of an island), indicating receding seas while 2) some coasts are cut off indicating rising sea levels. Basically. They would have been fine using a regular map from the internet. Not sure why they decided to render this shitty one or what purpose making their own serves. Maybe they don’t have rights to steal from the internet…?

You, the reader are now thinking, “who the fuck cares? That map was visible for under 30 seconds. all we were supposed to recognize is that it’s the VA/DC/MD area. Let’s move this train along I want to hear about things that actually matter.” And to this I say, you are not wrong. Let’s go. This 15 sec clip took me an hour to analyze and I’m not proud.

[Resume reading non-geography post here if you skipped. There were some jokes in there... not good ones]

Bellamy’s face at “choosing who lives or dies is your specialty” Ouch. Clarke can’t get a break. First Jasper, now Raven. Good thing he’s always on her side.

Someone’s taking the rover. My gut thought: is it fucking Jaha? Oh wait. Jasper’s problematic too and would pull that. Nope. Fucking Jaha. Your gut is always right.

Naturally, radical Jaha who went off to find the city of light is not encouraging a trip to go find a doomsday bunker by a religious fanatic. Raven is the skeptic voice of ME. Like hey guys, remember when he did this last time? If it’s not real Clarkiepoo gonna make that list. I like

DOOMSDAY CULT MAN SAYS “there is a way out of the darkness. I can show it to you. You can be saved. Join me…” okokokokokok. Abby stays behind in Arkadia to show them the way out of the darkness. Then she is forced to take the chip and gets the rest of the camp to join her in the CoL. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

DAD AND NATE ON GUARD DUTY TOGETHER. MY HEART. DAD MILLER IS GREAT. I like Miller Sr.

Raven x Abby

Alright. Time to defend mom. Raven’s position of wanting to save the pills- because it’s too late for them to work on Luna’s people- is understandable. Abby’s desire to save people is also understandable. I happen to love Raven x Abby scenes because they’re both so stubborn and both usually have equally strong, but different arguments. Dr. Abby probs should not have told her eldest daughter she’s killing this child. Howeverrrrr my mother, Abby, and even I, with my son VPJB, understand the power guilt has over your children. My son tried to attack a shadow for 45min today so I’m still choosing my battles. Back to the show- the emotion they bring as actors is fantastic. I’d like to pull their history out of the back of your head. Abby and Raven meet because they both have someone who went down in the dropship they desperately want to see. They bond. They trust each other and sass each other and Abby tells Raven to go down without her. Raven tells Clarke how great her mom is at a time when Clarke thinks floating Jake is still 100% her mom’s fault. Raven gets shot, Abby frickin saves her life and she only has one lame leg instead of being paralyzed from the waist down. Kudos Dr. Abby. BUT. Raven hurts, and chronic pain is rough on people, so you’ll lash out. Raven calls Abby out for being a crappy chancellor and doctor. Abby hits her. She’s instantly sorry she lost her temper and they’re distant but not terrible. Despite some heated moments, they’re fam. Abby adopts everyone she sees, and Raven, with only Finn in S1 becomes family. Then Finn dies. Then her mentor Sinclair (who I really really really really really liked and wish got more developing prior to THAT episode [sidenote: I hate when secondary/ tertiary characters get developed just so they the audience feels some emotional investment that turns into pain. Especially within the same episode. Except they’re only there for that one episode to drive another character’s development as in the dying child (Adrian) Luna brought.], so now Abby and her friends are all she has. There’s love there, which doesn’t make talking to each other ok, but I’m confident they’ll forgive each other. It hurts more because of the love.

Murphy steals medicine to help a sick kid. Important because his father got floated for stealing him medicine when he was a sick child, and the medicine ended up not working. Abby knows better than to ask where he got it. She’s broken the law to save people before. Yay Jackson being sweet with this child. I frickin love Nyko too. He’s one cool dude.

Octavia x Indra x Gaia

Mom saves her daughter. Octavia is like oh nooo here let me help you up, my b. Another mother daughter conflict. But this time really related. Indra: My daughter was meant to lead armies. My daughter was meant to lead our people. Me and Gaia: looks like you got that after all. This scene was great. A parent who cannot understand their child. So common and yet this is the best portrayal of that I’ve seen, mainly because it wasn’t “But basketball’s your dream!” “No, Dad. basketball is your dream, not mine!” Octavia comes up with a plan to save the flame and Indra’s daughter. Loyal to Indra over Roan. I love that. Ilian’s sledgehammer was entirely too dramatic. Should have spent the money used on that effect for Raven’s map. I’ve got a bone to pick with Kirk Douglas or Michael Cliett- whomever was in charge of that. Not bitter. Omg Gaia is so sweet and lovely. I love her. I want her to stick around. Don’t let the radiation get her!

Bellamy + Clarke x Jaha

Leadership is lonely, it’s good she has you. You keep her centered. Obviously Jaha sees Clarke as the leader and Bellamy as her sidekick/ compass more than an equal? I feel like they co-lead well Together. Wink. You’ve got it backwards. Nice. But Jaha is giving Bell some questionable advice here- he’s saying stop blaming yourself for the massacre, you were doing what you though was best for your people, and as long as that’s true, you don’t need redemption. Sort of, Jaha. You may think you’re right, but someone is yelling at you that you’re wrong (i.e. Abby x Kane S1 culling, Kane x Boris S3 massacre), so you actually might need some redemption, maybe for your people to accept you, maybe for your soul. Kane goes off in search of redemption and atonement after he realizes the way of life on the Ark doesn’t have to be how life on Earth is. Bellamy, realizes slaughtering a village of non-militant grounders is wrong as he’s taking part in it. That’s why he convinces Pike to let Indra live. Yes, they both think they’re right, but when they realize, even in hindsight how wrong they were, they feel guilty. Jaha on the other hand is very set in this “That’s what I thought at the time and I won’t let the present change how I see my past actions.” He’s much more cold and cognitive than emotional, even with himself. Jaha’s all like, dude get over it, how many people do you have to save before you forgive yourself.

I’d say Jaha has been distant enough in that he’s been off by himself for most of the plot, or at least separated from the core group, to merit his comment on the state of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship seriously. He has plenty of background with Clarke- his son was her best friend, their families were close pre-S1. Anyone can see Bellarke works well together, but Jaha’s outsider-insightfulness that everyone else may be too close to see (or too close to tell one of them) is that they center each other.

The List

First, can we talk about the Kabby couch parallel? Abby is snoozin at the start of S3 so peacefully and Kane glances over before going back to his sector mapping. ON THAT SAME COUCH is a peacefully sleeping Bellamy for Clarke to glance over at. He makes the list. I wonder if Riley did. Is Clarke reserving spots for grounders too or just sky people/ people in Arkadia? Bellamy gets spot 99. Good. Awe. He writes her name for her. Good job. Bellarke fans are screaming. Now we put it away... Y’all did a bang up job of that. Fold it once and put it in the OPEN CUBBY of the desk? No one will ever find it there. Snooping Jasper and Monty looking for their long lost weed never will. Oh wait.

Funny how we’ve got another group of “100.” It’s always good to remember your roots.

End Thoughts Me: SHE’S A NIGHT BLOOD YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN TESTS ABBY (and also you could have said “I’d like to run tests” slightly less creepily to a person who’s not the biggest fan of technology.) Abby and Clarke 20 seconds later- yeah there’s another variable here. yeah she a nightblood. Very happy Jackson got so many lines, even if they were tiny and sometimes in the background, he was in the conversation.

Noteworthy Absences and How I Feel About Them

Marcus Kane- I knew it was coming. I’m sure something big is happening with Octavia in the next episode. I thought the balance between Polis’ Octavia x Indra plot was well balanced with the Arkadia and Jaha x Bellarke plots. They were all satisfactorily interesting, a relief after Jaha’s 2B/3A plotlines. Adding a diplomatic Kane plot would be too much. He would have crowded Indra and her daughters’ scenes too. I’m good, but he was missed.

Harper McIntypre- She could have been standing guard with the Millers? Nate and Harper are besties. I like it. But then I want her to develop, so I’d rather her sit this one out and have meaningful airtime in another (or the next) episode.

Bryan- Also could have been on guard with the Millers. I actually would be really interested in seeing Bryan and Sergeant David Miller interact. Then again, He and Nate just had a fight last episode over fundamentally different beliefs, so they need air. In this case I do NOT want to have Miller Sr. interacting with them. He’s already had enough awkward interrupting couple-moments. I think he needed to be absent. There were already three plot lines and Briller drama would have pulled the show in too many directions, as with Kane. I’m cool with that.

Monty Green/ Jasper Jordan- This was a mother-daughter conflict episode with a splash of following Jaha’s whims. They didn’t fit. I’m cool with that. They’re going to find that letter Clarke should have hid in her pillowcase next week.

Echo- I’m bitter. She should have yelled at someone. What a badass.

Riley- Who is this dude. I just looked on IMDb and he’s in 6 episodes. Everyone seems to know him. I need to be part of that.

I felt we needed a refresher on full names…or lack there of...

I have no life and am very lonely. But it’s my own fault. so that’s just a nice explanation of why I have time to do this...

#4.03 #The 100 #just my thoughts #not all of them are good ones #i didn't proofread this

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nancyworley014-blog · 6 years ago

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Pass 10 Soccer Momma Ideas to Improving Your Child’s Soccer Skills

The forward-looking twenty-four hours soccer mummy or dad is constantly being pulled in completely directions. From driving their sons and daughters to praxis and games to volunteering their fourth dimension for conceding resist duty, a association football mammy is perpetually on the go. Fuse this with the demands of a 9 to 5 job, pickings aid of a household, and having a successful union and you make the formula for the Bodoni daylight soccer mommy. On the come out it seems that in that location is not decent clock in the Day to carry out completely that is compulsory to be a successful soccer momma but hopefully my top of the inning 10 soccer mama ideas testament assistant you get hold just about correspondence in your life story. These top of the inning 10 ideas are in no particular club of grandness merely rather should be victimised as a conduct to portion you get a ameliorate soccer bring up. 1. Agenda - The nearly obvious and what I count to being the linchpin of succeeder is having a settled schedule. We unfortunately don't go through living with a quartz globe and unlooked-for events testament happen, just in order to be successful you involve body structure in your biography and that is the final result of a well-keyed and organized schedule. All members of your mob including anyone helping the children pauperism to realize and comply with the day-to-day schedule. I urge exploitation your ache phone's built-in calendar or Google Calendar to compose toss off the daily, weekly, and every month agenda. What has worked C. H. Best for my home is that every Thursday or Friday we Cook a dainty phratry dinner party and discourse the weekend and following week's docket. This lick trump when everyone WHO is knotty in portion with your children is in attending so that wholly stimulus and yield lav be compiled and disseminated and imaginable issues mitigated. Additionally, it's Nice to corrode dinner with friends and crime syndicate on a weekly cornerstone. 2. Organisational Wash - We altogether neediness our children to be successful so it's scoop that we express them success at an former eld. Thither are many adjectives to depict succeeder just unmatched coarse train of thought that resonates with virtually masses is the essential of having organisational skills. The vernacular scoundrel to being unionised is laziness. Thus, what has worked topper for my menage is that we really unified in our schedule the individual creditworthy for doing washing which includes the soccer uniforms, cleats, socks and pattern dress. The piles of washing for a kin of fivesome for each one workweek seat be a daunting tax and that is why my wife and I replacement this strive each week. Doing laundry includes washing, drying, fold and nearly significantly putting it forth. If your kin is anything alike ours then you must harness the each week "Case of the Missing Sock" problem. Whatever suggestions Here will be welcomed because we cannot fig it taboo. 3. Dedicated Devotee - No matter of the even out of ebullience your children take in for soccer, you should be a dedicated buff. Call up or so totally the time you stimulate already consecrate to fostering your children in the gambol of association football. Organism a dedicated buff substance learnedness near the account of soccer, eruditeness most the unlike occupational group teams and leagues and the prestigiousness of victorious the Universe Cup. By expanding your house of cards of soccer knowledge you keister convey that knowledge and exuberance onto your children WHO testament unfeignedly apprize you taking a real occupy in what they are doing on the association football discipline. 4. Act association football - When I was younger my pappa played a slew of baseball with me but we besides kicked the soccer lump from time to prison term. Those memories will alive with me forever allowing me to action replay them as oftentimes as I wish well in my nous. I count if he were silence live today, he would be prohibited their kick the globe with the family line. My Word and I have enjoyed observation soccer games and implementing certain techniques on the association football airfield. Both of us get dramatically improved our skills and are encyclopaedism a portion more roughly soccer. Although I'm in my 40's, I'm even so able-bodied to dally at a even that both challenges my 13-twelvemonth sure-enough Son and encourages him to toy harder and smarter. I sympathise that more or less parents based on wellness or age won't be able to in reality manoeuvre with their children so peradventure you toilet engage a private passenger vehicle simply do what you fire to stay affianced and your children leave apprise you for it. 5. Unpaid - From volunteering at the conceding abide to organism a umpire or coach, your prison term is gratifying by the soccer community of interests. My married woman and I agenda our fourth dimension so that we derriere maximize our military volunteer sentence and noneffervescent non misfire our son's games. Additionally, volunteering has allowed us to assemble and bring with other association football families. The construct of it takes a village to elicit a nipper is at the marrow of organism a rich unpaid worker. Volunteering allows you to remain in melodic phrase with soccer events and fundamentally makes you an insistent theatrical role simulate for children because they prospect you as percentage of the leading of the association football community of interests. 6. Fundraising - If in that respect are members of your squad that are to a lesser extent golden and cannot afford the price of association football cleats, struggle guards, netkeeper gloves etc., or your team up is stressful to levy money, then a fundraising function Crataegus laevigata be your recession. Successful fundraising starts with having a literal intention. Interrogative multitude to severalise themselves from their hard-earned money with no charge per unit of give is anti-capitalism and decidedly should not be your propose. However, if you approach path former parents, local anesthetic stage business owners, train officials, etc. with a valid and elaborated account of where and how their money will be spent, it leave non simply be well-situated to fund raise simply as well rewarding. For example, I near potential wouldn't inquire masses to hand money so that we rear grease one's palms mabosway pizza pie for the children later on to each one spirited just I would necessitate for a donation for an ending of the mollify company. Some other estimate that worked KO'd actually good is this retiring flavour we (association football dads) bought coordinated association football bracelets for all the kids and co-ordinated soccer necklaces for wholly the association football moms to render our admiration. Parents from a girl's younker soccer team up heard what we had done and purchased association football earrings for whole their teammates. 7. Carpooling - Gun is expensive disregarding of what partly of the nation you experience in so I commend carpooling as much as you hindquarters. We carpool with the Saame family that we bear dinner party with formerly a hebdomad to write the schedule. During our time period programing session, we designate carpool tariff throughout the calendar week and secure that our children are aware of who to wait and on what years. We feature too co-ordinated with our school to inform them that our friends are authorised to plunk up the kids and subscribe them to soccer drill. Our mini-avant-garde has served us substantially and without a uncertainty has been a expectant investment funds allowing us to enthral our children to all their events. 8. The right wing soccer geartrain - When I was jr. my gramps enforced the concept of having the decently putz for the subcontract at hand. In the instance of playacting juvenility soccer, your children penury to give birth suitable try-on association football cleats, and soccer clothing that is non likewise limiting. Children seat outgrow a brace of soccer cleats in less than a month so it's jussive mood that you routinely audit your children's cleats. I knowledgeable this the toilsome way of life when after a halting I byword my son's cock-a-hoop toe projecting from his right wing association football cleat. I asked him how longsighted he had been performing with his toenail sticking come out of his association football cleat and his reception stunned me. He had been expiration to association football practise and playing with his toenail sticking out forbidden for complete 2 weeks! That Nox when we got habitation from the soccer spirited we arranged him a fresh geminate of cleats from and now I puddle it my commercial enterprise to visually scrutinise his soccer cleats. 9. Individuation and Association football - As a raise we penury to insure that our children grow up to turn strong and creditworthy individuals. It's a tax that we cannot occupy softly considering the children of nowadays are the leaders of tomorrow. Organism an soul substance deliberate your skills and limitations and non being influenced by cut setters whose goal it is to trade ware. For example, my boy is a natural when it comes to individualism. He doesn't dissemble to be mortal he is not and he is dead felicitous beingness by himself and used-up with his ain thoughts and ambitions. Our beau monde is loaded with masses WHO betray to grok their possess world and are drug-addicted on others for what I outcry their "social want." Societal deprivation comes in many different flavors simply the bottomland lineage is that it's one mortal missing something from another for his irrational number tell of being. You Crataegus laevigata be asking yourself, how will beingness an single avail my children be best association football players considering soccer is a squad boast? The resolve is simple: successful teams are made up of successful individuals. It takes apiece individual player to toy at their inviolable trump for the team up to be successful. When my Logos was younger, I asked him to swipe himself with his fingers. He sentiment it was an ill at ease petition but nevertheless he penurious himself. I said, "Son I couldn't feel that because it's not me you're pinching it's you! You are your own person and your decisions you make will guide you into the future. So if you want to be a better soccer player then you have to dedicate yourself to the sport." This concept is like to starring a horse to urine merely it's the buck who moldiness decide to boozing the urine. Celebrate that in beware when you're investing your metre in your child's association football future tense. 10. Early sports - Your child's soccer skills derriere be optimized if they swordplay early sports. I highly urge enrolling your nestling in gymanstic exercise at an early on get on because of the demanding military posture and preciseness that is needed to perform as a gymnast. My daughters are both gymnast simply when they flirt soccer they spirit same naturals come out of the closet on the theatre of operations. As a gymnast you stipulate your physical structure each day and you fine-air muscles that put up assist meliorate your soccer skills. Early sports canful be beneficial as well merely in my view and from experience, gymanstic exercise is by far the outflank sport you lavatory become your tike to do along with soccer. Hopefully, these pass 10 association football mummy ideas fundament help you suit a ameliorate association football nurture and facilitate your tike become a break association football thespian. I look frontwards to audition from you close to your own soccer experiences in the blogosphere.

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flauntpage · 7 years ago

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Thanks, Doc

When people die, we all hurry to share our thoughts, to impart our experiences with them.

On one hand, it feels callous to turn someone else’s misfortune into a personal story. On the other, there’s probably no better way to honor a person than to share how they impacted your life in some small way, or maybe even a big way.

When that person is a professional athlete, those stories are in endless supply. Some are told by friends and family, but most come from mere admirers who likely never met the person or at most had fleeting, memorable encounters with them.

Athletes, celebrities and other public figures have outsized impact on those who view their work. Their performances can mark time for total strangers. I remember where I was. Those things aren’t just part of sports fandom– often they’re part of people’s lives.

There’s been no shortage of those stories since news of Roy Halladay’s death broke yesterday. We all remember when the Phillies traded for him, where we were during his perfect game (which he threw during Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals), and for his postseason no-hitter. We remember his love of Chooch. We remember “funner.” We remember him running the steps of Citizens Bank Park. We remember the time he saved a naked man from an Anaconda. Teammates remember clubhouse antics, personal exchanges, his work ethic, and being in the presence of greatness. They remember the person and the teammate.

But for all of those fond memories, today there is a family in mourning.

For better or worse, Halladay’s Twitter feed serves as a stark reminder that while he was a baseball hero to many, he was a loving husband and father to a few. These Tweets… they rip your heart out and smash it on the ground:

I love the Players & Parents of our Florida Burn! They keep proving why they’re the best team on the field but more important the classiest! http://pic.twitter.com/4agAeCO4wY

— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) November 6, 2017

Yes here are the HS kids and me with my son! Proud dad, Proud coach, Proud member of a coaching staff! #family http://pic.twitter.com/3WgoW0kwC6

— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) May 28, 2017

My son in the middle of the dog pile after closing out the semi-final game!! So proud!!#family http://pic.twitter.com/LmRmqi6toZ

— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) May 28, 2017

First official day of summer break for my son! What a day! Icon A5 we spent 5hrs 3.2 flying, 1.8 chill'n, 100% buds! http://pic.twitter.com/DCclvMMvhs

— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) May 19, 2017

Flew a Dog Rescue trip to Alabama for two 5m old puppies who's ears were cut off w/ scissors to prep them as practice for dog fighting!! SAD http://pic.twitter.com/A6EYYFGoT5

— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) September 26, 2016

Come on.

Virtually every other Tweet from the last two years was about his love of his new plane, Chooch, or saving puppies.

None of us can speak for what his family is going through and what they’ll continue to deal with for a long time. In an instant, everything Halladay had worked for, earned, and enjoyed was rendered meaningless due to an unfortunate accident.

If there’s any good to come out of this, it’s that we’re hearing some stories about Roy, the person, that we never knew. This one from ESPN reporter and local guy John Barr may be my favorite:

1/ I have a story about Roy Halladay that sums up the player and the man. It was after he threw his 2010 post-season no-hitter v the Reds