#literally signed myself out of my discord on my computer so I stopped following the urge to send stuff to people regarding her

[poisonedpowder]

//I will not be here today (or honestly, not the rest of the week either, I'm drowning) but actually sick that my brain is even more focused on jinx rn than ever and all I wanna do is talk about and write her

[theholycakehole]

Impulsive Decisions || Dream x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: Dream x GN! Reader

Warnings: None! Well its my first Dream fic and it hasn’t really been edited so maybe that should be a warning lol but mostly just fluff :) Also use of irl names, idk how Dream feels about that so please let me know if I should change it! :)

A/N: Heyyyy... Long time so see! Um... so here’s a dream fic! I am done my first year of uni now so if yall wanna start up some requests I can try and do that again? Probably will mostly be along the lines of the Dream SMP or maybe even other streamers since that’s what I’ve been interested in lately. My requests have never really closed, I’ve just been inactive, but I’ll try to start writing again!

It was a long night of shifting between games with friends and discord conversations. I combed my hair back as my eyes grew tired as the screen shifted to a victory for the imposters. I sighed leaning back in my chair seconds before I got the last kill of the game, earning Karl and me the win.

“Wow…” Rae spoke up as everyone began to unmute.

“S/N??” Sykkuno piped up from his side of the call. I let out a little tired laugh as I returned to the main lobby.

“I think that was LG for me guys,” I spoke out hearing a few pleas against it. “Sorry, I’ve been streaming for like…” I trailed off checking the time, 12:30, “6 hours now? I’m ready for bed, honestly.”

“I should probably do the same,” Dream spoke up, him being in the same timezone as me.

“You guys really should leave the east coast, PST is where it’s at.” Corpse mumbled as I opened back up my stream chat.

“I know, I know, but I can’t get myself to leave my hometown.” I laughed out as I skimmed over my chat reading the goodnight wishes and the thanks for streaming messages.

“Well, I live on the east coast and I’m fine to stay up.” Karl joked as I let out a yawn.

“Does anyone have any fills?” Toast asked. “If not we might have to end it here.”

“Toast aren’t you in the same time zone as me right now?” I asked out. “Go to bed.”

“I don’t need sleep, S/N.” He commented back.

“Ok fair.” I chuckled as my little character ran around the lobby before going to the computer and messing around with the skins and hats.

“Sorry guys, I think all my fills are done for the night.” Corpse explained to the lobby.

“Its no worries we can always play another time!” Rae reassured everyone. “Well, goodnight everyone!”

“Goodnight!” Everyone chimed before signing out of the call.

I muted myself and ended my stream, forgetting to leave the call. I thanked the donos and read chat, making tired comments. I answered a few questions I managed to catch in the chat before ending the stream. As I was about to leave discord I saw that Dream’s little icon was still in the call with me.

“Lurking much?” I joked as I unmuted my mic.

“I thought you were going to bed?” He remarked with a small laugh.

“Eventually, I just couldn’t use my brain anymore after that last game.”

“I don’t blame you, you played well, y/n.” Using my real name rather than my stream name clarified that he wasn’t streaming either. “If you’re not too tired, we can stay on the call if you want?”

“I’m down, honestly, I’m just winding down before bed.” I mentioned as I checked my phone, opening a few social media apps to catch up on what I missed since starting my stream.

“So, y/n when do you plan on visiting? Sap and I are still waiting for you to come down.” He questioned, causing me to look up from my phone, closing it before setting the device back down on my desk. His camera obviously was not on but I found my attention on his discord profile picture.

“Soon, Clay.” I laughed leaning back in my chair and tucking my legs up to my chest.

“You said that last time.” He laughed a little more tired this time.

“Flights can be expensive, especially so last minute.” I made an excuse as I looked over to my second monitor and found myself googling flights.

“I literally told you I’ll pay for your flight to Florida, y/n.” He teased as I hummed in response, my attention mostly on the travel website I was looking at.

“I’m a big girl Dreamwastaken, I can pay for my own flight.” I chuckled before closing the website.

“Y/n your classes are done now, you have all the time in the world, leave Canada and come visit, please?” I smiled at his question before letting out a yawn.

“Fuck it.”

“Wait really?” Clay piped up, shocked and excitement evident in his voice.

“You made a really convincing argument. When do you want me to visit?” I asked before re-opening the tab and looking at prices.

“Right now.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, right now.”

“Thats not happening Clay.” I laughed before finding a date and hovering over the purchase button. “How about the weekend? It gives me time to pack and get some things sorted.”

“Yes! Perfect! This is so exciting y/n!” He smiled, his voice raising a little bit which caused me to laugh. We sorted out the details and eventually booked the tickets and talked about how excited we were for me to come to Florida.

I’ve known Dream for a couple of years now, mostly through streaming with friends. Obviously, I knew of him before because of the Dream SMP and how popular it got. But through the years we have grown close, this even confused fans. Shipping was natural and happened quite frequently, which we ignored in the beginning, but as time passed feelings began to grow. We never talked about it but the flirting and the comments we’d share both on stream and off-stream just felt so right.

We were both faceless content creators, and being this close was quite strange as we have never met or let alone seen each other in person. As I packed my clothes a couple of days later I felt the nerves settle in. I shook off the panic of what if he doesn’t like me or think I’m attractive enough. But it was hard to shake.

I found myself jittery as the plane began to descend. I peered out the window looking at the ground as it grew closer and closer. The nerves grew more and more intense as I knew Dream was the closest he’s been to me since we first met. I felt myself smiling through the panic as I reached to grab my backpack under the seat in front of me.

When we finally were able to disembark the plane I quickly texted Clay that I was here and told him that I was wearing a f/c hoodie so they could find me. I tried to find the baggage claim as I followed the people who were on the same flight as me. My phone buzzed in my pocket telling me that Clay responded.

‘Sap and I just pulled in, see you soon!’

I smiled at his text message and the nerves went crazy, but a huge smile was on my face at the same time. I opened Twitter and quickly started a new tweet to show my audience that I was on, in fact, a last-minute trip. I attached a picture I snuck as I disembarked the plane and made a quick caption before posting and pocketing my phone.

My phone began to buzz from notifications as I plugged in my earbuds and played my music while I tried to locate myself through the airport. As I finally found the baggage claim I stood by one of the conveyor belts and scanned over the luggage trying to find my own. A couple of minutes passed before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around, pulling out my earbuds to see the face of one of my streamer friends.

“Y/n?”

“Sapnap!” I smiled before pulling him in for a hug.

“Hey, how was the flight?” He asked as we pulled apart and stood waiting for my luggage.

“Long enough, I’m just excited I’m here now.” I smiled as I pocketed my phone after wrapping the wires from my earbuds around it.

“Trust me, so are we.” He smiled in return. I saw my suitcase and quickly went to grab it, Sapnap helping me as well. “Clay is in the car, we were struggling to find a parking spot so he pulled up and is waiting for us.” He informed me as he took my suitcase and helped me wheel it out. “He’s nervous.” He mentioned as we grew closer to the doors.

“Trust me, so am I. Other than people in my everyday life, you two are the first to see me in person, or even my face.” I said as I fidgetted with the strings of my hoodie.

“You’re in good hands, y/n, try not to worry.” He smiled softly at me.

We exited through the doors to see a vehicle parked up to the curb. I felt the nerves build up in my stomach as a head of ashy blonde hair exit the car door. A smile found its way onto my face as my eyes lit up. As the man walked around the car he stopped in his tracks and replicated the same, bright smile, green eyes lighting up. I stopped everything and bolted forward pulling Clay into a tight hug.

“You’re finally here.” He muttered into my h/c hair, pulling me in tighter.

“I’m finally here.” I smiled into his green sweatshirt, feeling at ease.

[technobladetimestamps]

Nov 16 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

02:13  “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17  “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50  “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23  “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47  “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54  “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07  “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33  vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45  “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31  explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03  nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54  “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50  Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21  “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01  “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45  joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53  Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields   43:13  vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03  angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13  “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25  “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09  recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58  putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47  can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50  having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57  vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02  “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38  “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18  “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35  Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29  Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07  “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57  Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50  Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49  Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30  vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40  “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41  no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31  battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27  killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57  Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08  vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42  “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57  Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06  Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20  “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20  Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23  Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11  “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09  post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50  “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51  “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06  Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30  “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16  the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37  “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24  Greek mythology 2:41:45  The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02  Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08  “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06  “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23  Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11  turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34  vc with Philza 3:07:00  spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06  smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32  killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00  vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18  “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51  “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47  “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” /  “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47  “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg /  emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57  “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04  armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11  the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14  “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09  “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34  “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10  “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10  “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00  1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30  “What the heck is Phil watching”

[singull]

been doing some thinking the last few days comparing how i was doing last year around this time of the year versus how i’m doing now, and thus thinking about she who will continue to not be named (i imagine those of you that have been following me a long time though have probably already guessed who this whole thing is about though).

last winter was…an incredibly rough time of my life. the person i considered my best friend was still completely radio silent and had been since mid-summer. i hadn’t even gotten a simple and basic “hey still not feeling like talking, but hope you have a happy holiday” type of message. i was basically left in friendship limbo where i didn’t know if she even wanted anything to do with me anymore. what made it worse was that i knew for a fact that she was signing into steam on a regular basis, and thus knew she was using a computer regularly still. she just wasn’t thinking of saying anything to me.

and that shit was killing me.

thankfully not literally, but it was definitely the closest i’ve ever come to making an attempt. i scared myself a few times last year, to say the least.

while part of my depressive spiral last year had a lot to do with missing my friend like crazy, most of it had to do with the fact that i didn’t know where i stood with her anymore. i didn’t know if she hated me, if she still thought of me, if she still cared but just wasn’t in the headspace to deal with anyone online, if i was just a blip in her life now, or what. it’s one thing when someone you’ve known a few months or a handful of years puts you in this kind of position, it’s another when it’s someone that was such a regular and integral figure in your life for closer to 20 than 15 years. i can generally brush off the former (with minimal bitching lmao), it’s a little more difficult for me to accept the latter. we used to joke a lot that we were practically married, but i really do think the grief i went through (the continue to deal with) was similar to someone going through a divorce that took them by surprise.

i was completely lost on what to do with myself. i clung desperately onto a handful of things to give me something to look forward to each day. to essentially give myself a reason to keep getting out of bed each morning. this is why i began putting together my medicine seller (from the mononoke series) doll. this is part of why i picked up the first dune book (and why i’ve continued to read this year). why i delved into arcane and the witcher, and returned more of my attention to my doll hobby in general.

and then there came a point where i was scaring myself once more and decided enough was enough. i needed answers. so i reached out to my friend and we got back in contact. and things seemed like they were going to get better, until they didn’t. we didn’t even last a month before she dipped out and stopped talking to me again, only this time around she gave me no warning. she just expected me to understand that she needed space. she bounced the same day my PS5 arrived, so safe to say my mind was preoccupied for a day or two so i didn’t take notice if anything was particularly wrong. i just figured she wasn’t feeling well or something because she had mentioned she was feeling sick…but then she still wasn’t talking to me for several more days and i got worried something happened. then more silence and i started to wonder if i was being ignored on purpose. then i was 99% sure i was.

i messaged her several times over those 2 weeks (even rang her accounts on discord a handful of times) to check in and try to confront her about what the fuck was going on. we didn’t really have any mutuals that i know of (she never spoke about making other friends until shit was going wrong with them and she’d come to me to rant—and even then…never let me know who they actually were; they may as well have been that cool friend that goes to a different school that you never met), and i didn’t want to drag in non-involved parties into things (i still had her old FB account in my friends list so i could have probably messaged her mom or baby-daddy [my ass still doesn’t know if they ever bothered to get remarried]). never got around to asking her for her current phone number either, so all i had was her email, discord, and steam. and she wasn’t saying anything on them. wasn’t even signing on (that i know of).

i was being shoved back into the space i was stuck in for 6 months where i didn’t know where i stood with her and i was desperate not to go back to that because i wasn’t sure if i’d be able to survive it again. so in a last-ditch and incredibly desperate move, i sent her fifty bucks on zelle (had her info still saved from when i sent her money to see end game in theaters back in 2019). hard to ignore cash suddenly showing up in your bank account. took a day or two, but i got a response. finally. got my cash back and a brief and terse email basically amounting to her telling me she was finished with me, ending with a threat if i ever contacted her again.

it hurt. a lot. over the last year and a half i’ve come to more fully realize how much i fear abandonment (particularly from friends), and how much i fear having my depressive thoughts being true (particularly the “everyone would be happier and better off without you”).

that said…it didn’t hurt as much as i thought it would.

i’ve been beating myself up about my last desperate move for contact (the sending cash thing) all year…and about my general pushiness at the time when i was being ignored, but when i look back on how i was last winter and how i feel this winter, i have zero regrets. i’ve been doubting my thoughts and actions all year, even thinking about how i probably deserved to be treated that way, but i’m steadily becoming more certain that i didn’t, especially not by someone that i was so close to for so long.

i’m glad that i pushed and shoved to get some sort of response, even if it didn’t end ideally. i know that i either wouldn’t be here today or would be just as bad off now as i was last year (if not worse) if i hadn’t put my foot down and told myself, “no. this is bullshit and i’m not going to just take it quietly or politely.”

now-a-days, i read because i enjoy it. i’m happy to be invested in my dolls again and rediscover why i like them so much. i’m happy to be reinventing old characters of mine that i had spent years building up with my former best friend, especially now that i don’t have to consider her or anyone else how i build them up. i’ve been reconnecting with my IRL friends that i’ve found have been missing me more than i ever thought they did. while it’s still hard to get out of bed lately, it’s because of sinus issues rather than feeling like there’s no point. i take the odd nap after work because i stayed up too late playing video games or reading a book rather than because i’m too depressed to do anything else. i’m even planning to buy myself an exercise bike to add that to my daily to-dos.

i still cry and grieve about her because she was my best friend and someone i loved and cared about, and that hole in my life isn’t likely going to be filled back up anytime soon, though i am slowly working on it.

and because in the USA it’s that time of year to give thanks, i did want to say that i’m so unbelievably thankful of all the people that have left replies or privately messaged me over the year to let me know that i’m not alone in my feelings and grief. to remind me that there is an end to the tunnel (even if i didn’t always believe it or want to hear it). i don’t wanna be too dramatic or anything, but y’all did have a hand in keeping me afloat.

[lisspeed-archive]

Got tagged by the amazing @sore-dake thank you. c:

Nickname: Lizzy, Xigbar, Xiggy. Star sign: Virgo Height: 172,5 cm which is 5′7 feet. Time right now: 15:42 which is around 4. xD Last thing I googled: How to make music with Anvil Studio... I want to make music for my game, starting with Concordia’s theme. xD Favourite musician: I don’t really have a fave band or musician, but I do really like, Two Steps From Hell, David Bowie, Nobuo Uematsu and Yoko Shimomura! Song currently in my head: Emperor Palamecia Last movie I watched: Kingsglaive... I hardly watch movies and Kingsglaive was great. xD Last TV show I watched: Beauty and the Geek... It was on TV... And I was bored... Okay yeah... I might like these weird type of TV shows, sorry. ._. What I’m wearing right now: Star Wars T-Shirt, grey-greenish pants, red checkered blouse and a blue bathrobe (cause it’s cold |D). When I made this blog: I think back when I was 13... Which was in 2011 I believe. O_O What kind of stuff I post: Final Fantasy (mainly XV and VI, but I also post of the other games), Kingdom Hearts, Disney, my art and random stuff. xD Do I get asks regularly: I sometimes get them! Which reminds me... I still gotta answer some. X_X Why I chose my URL: Because I used to do fandom urls in the beginning, but considering I really didn’t stick to a fandom back then, I eventually changed it to Lisspeed. A nickname I’ve had for any site ever since I started to get on the internet haha. It’s literally the first 3 letters of my name Lis from Lisanne, combined with speed from fast. The speed actually comes from bitspeed which is the speed of a computer haha. Hogwarts House: Potermore says Griffindor, all the quizes I ever took say Ravenclaw. .-. Pokémon Team: None, I don’t like nor do I play Pokémon. Fave characters: Ardyn, Kefka, Demyx, Xigbar, Luxord, Edgar, Ravus, Prompto, Aranea, Celes, Dr. Facilier, Hades and a lot more which you can all find on my page about them. xD My top 3 would be Ardyn, Kefka, Demyx though. Dream job: I’m currently studying Game Art, so I hope to become a great Game Artist someday who will make enjoyable games for people. Number of blankets I sleep with: One most of the time, but sometimes 2 depening on how cold I am. Following: 222 blogs. xD My desk is hardly dead because of this and when it is I start worrying haha.

Ten Facts About Myself (not sure if I should reply to this too, but oh well xD):

1. I either, draw non-stop, or not at all. Arttrades (this I will do with more people but only if I have the time) and requests I will only do for my closest friends, you probably know it if you’re a part of those. xD 2. I have the most amazing friends, family and girl-friend I could ever ask for and I love them all. X3 3. I am a HUGE cat-person even if I began to love dogs as well ever since we adopted Misty. 4. I actually like writing fanfics and do it mostly at least once a month, but I’m too insecure to ever post them ahah. 5. Whenever I don’t respond to someone’s ask or reply, it is not because I dislike you, it is because I’m busy life consumed me. .-. 6. I’m Bisexual and Demiromantic. Bisexual with a preference for girls (somehow my aunt called it ever since I was a toddler and she was right, I’m gay for girls hahaha). I only figured out two years ago that I’m demiromantic because I only seemed to fall for friends. Part of me still hasn’t accepted this entirely. 7. The nickname Xigbar started out as a username I used on Discord, then my friends started to call me Xigbar/Xiggy so it kinda stuck with me ahah. 8. I actually like mpreg, yes, I’m not scared anymore to admit it. I sometimes draw it as a way of cooping and sometimes write about it. But I hardly reblog it or post stuff for it because I know it makes a lot of people uncomfortable and I dislike the fetish side of it. It’s not a kink of me at all, I just like the idea of men being able to experience the same thing as women. And yes, I know it’s impossible in real life to happen to cismen, but that’s fine, fantasy can make anything possible. 9. I no longer rp with everyone I encounter, after having had so many horrible experiences, I try to only stick with a small amount of people that I trust. Because I know that if sometimes upsets them or me, we can just normally tell one another without the other getting all angry about it. I will never start a Tumblr blog for it anymore. 10. I have way too many fictionkids and I don’t care cause they’re all my precious cinnamon rolls that need a mom and deserve to be protected even if they’re evil.

Tag ten people: Hmmmmmm... I taaaaag: @solfreyr​ @incarniunknown​ @annatard​ @deafgevaardigde​ @creamecream​ @jlavisant​ @stephicness @doriardyn @king-of-heartless @swoooonamis (I keep tagging the same people, sorry peeps, but I dunno who else to tag and I’m scared to tag people I haven’t talked with at least once. :’D)