#literally one of the reasons I came back to this Hell Website (affectionate) is because it’s one of the last sites that doesn’t
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Oops I was accidentally on the For You page or whatever and reblogged something from an account I DONT follow so obviously I deleted it as soon as I realized the sin I committed
If you saw that post no you didn’t
#I don’t need tumblr thinking I want algorithm content#literally one of the reasons I came back to this Hell Website (affectionate) is because it’s one of the last sites that doesn’t#force an algorithm#I think you can still see things chronologically on twitter#but you have to choose it every time you want to scroll#and the last time I even bothered with that was BE (Before Elon)#anyway I hate algorithms and algorithmically curated social feeds#I want to see art and literature and memes on my own terms man
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Survey #383
“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest / try to tell me, tell me he’s the best / i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”
Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.
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Skam season 3, episode 5 reaction (1/2)
I don’t tend to think of Skam in episodes so much as clips, but this is easily one of the strongest overall episodes of the series, and it feels like a turning point in the season in terms of complexity. Watching it in real time was an emotional roller coaster. We also have the script for this episode with some of Julie’s comments so we can compare the two. I split this reaction into two parts because of the length, sorry if that’s annoying. It’s one of the longer episodes of the season. Second half will be up in a day or so.
SEASON THREE, EPISODE 5 - “At the same time in a completely different place”
Clip 1 - The softest scene you will see in your entire life
Lordag 15:15 for anyone keeping track
I mentioned in my episode 4 recap that the pool scene was the first scene I got to see in real time. After that first kiss, I was dying to know what came next for Isak and Even. I thought it was likely that we’d get more relationship rockiness, because that’s usually what happens in TV shows, right? Isak was going to freak out, Even might run back to his girlfriend, and maybe they’d pretend it didn’t happen and it would get all awkward between them. Because that’s what I expect from most TV shows, more dramaaaa.
Instead, I slept in the day after the pool scene, woke up, immediately checked the Skam website to watch the pool scene again, and instead saw that there was a new clip. This clip, which is one of the most iconic moments in all of Skam, and which should be prescribed by doctors as a means of lowering blood pressure.
I mean this is the image that greeted me when I opened the Skam website that day. Julie Andem did a detox on my soul with this scene.
This scene is so special. It’s different thinking about it now because Skam went on to bless us with tons of Evak physical affection, but at the time I was stunned, because gay couples in media rarely get these types of blatantly romantic, lovey-dovey scenes. I’m pretty sure this clip is a huge part of why Skam suddenly took off internationally, because people saw gifs of this scene and had a similar reaction to all the cuddling. What the hell is that? I need to check it out.
Frankly, I’d say romantic couples in media, regardless of orientation, rarely get these types of introspective, slow-paced scenes where the characters can just breathe and be together as long as Isak and Even do here. Typically if a TV show gives us a scene resembling this one, there’s some other reason it’s there; the scene is there to facilitate the plot, or usher in some drama, or carry some exposition. But rarely do we see couples just lying together and talking in this intimate way, with room for pauses, room for silence, room for the characters to just touch and look at each other. And we sure as hell don’t get them between LGBT pairings that often.
We saw long cuddle scenes with Noora and William last season, and a few with Jonas and Eva in S1, and I’m so glad that Julie didn’t have any reservations about showing Isak and Even in similar positions. Think of other shows you’ve seen with canon gay ships. A lot of them contain noticeable double standards as to the level of physical intimacy and affection the gay ships show versus the canon het ships. Sometimes the het couples can get full-on sex scenes while the gay couples can barely kiss. Granted, much of that discrepancy probably comes from people at the top, and showrunners may have to fight just to include gay characters in the first place if the network executives are cowards, let alone show them being affectionate. So I’m aware that Skam is in a unique position to depict these types of scenes between two boys. The format and distribution of the show also allows for the creative freedom to have these long quiet scenes without needing to account for commercial breaks or time restrictions or anything like that. But damn, this simple scene ends up feeling downright revolutionary because of how it commits to show these two boys falling in love with each other, without compromise.
The song choice of “I’m Not in Love” is perfect. I know some people took it literally (thinking that one or both of the boys were not in love and this wasn’t a very deep relationship, or it was evidence that Even was just messing around with Isak for fun rather than real feelings) (yes, I remember reading this) but the whole premise behind “I’m Not in Love” is that the speaker is in love, and all of the protestations he’s not in love are flimsy as hell. Oh, I call you and come to see you but don’t read too much into it. Oh, I have your picture on my wall but it’s just because it covers up a stain. NBD.
Here’s an explanation of the story behind the song from Wikipedia:
(Eric) Stewart came up with the idea for the song after his wife, to whom he had been married for eight years at that point, asked him why he didn't say "I love you" more often to her. Stewart said, "I had this crazy idea in my mind that repeating those words would somehow degrade the meaning, so I told her, 'Well, if I say every day "I love you, darling, I love you, blah, blah, blah", it's not gonna mean anything eventually'. That statement led me to try to figure out another way of saying it, and the result was that I chose to say 'I'm not in love with you', while subtly giving all the reasons throughout the song why I could never let go of this relationship."
Stewart’s description is a perfect fit for Skam’s depiction of Isak and Even’s relationship. I can name a ton of TV shows where the characters rush into saying “I love you” and throw it around in every scene even though the sentiment feels unearned. The words are just hollow and used as a shorthand for writers to say the characters feel deeply for each other, without coming up with creative, emotionally resonant ways to show these feelings of love. Skam is actually pretty restrained on having Isak and Even make a lot of dramatic statements of their feelings to each other. Instead of going for overwritten or showy speeches, Julie writes shorter lines that leave more to subtext and fit the context of the situation and characters better. There’s never a conventional “I love you” scene between Isak and Even and yet I didn’t need it because their actions constantly showed how much they loved each other.
And the lyrics can reflect Isak’s attitude at this point. He has feelings for Even but is still in the closet, still dealing with internalized homophobia. There’s still uncertainty around this relationship and where it’s headed. You can take “I’m Not in Love” as a layer of protection, downplaying this relationship to others and maybe to himself, but of course any protests from Isak are going to be as weak as the singer’s. Dude. We can see the way you’re looking at each other.
Onto this montage of smoking, kissing, and cuddling. Dreamy sigh. Isn’t this how everyone wants to imagine being in love? Comfort and safety mixed with passion and affection. This is the exploratory period, where you’re with a new person, and you can see Isak and Even testing out new kisses, new cuddles, new affectionate gestures. They’re enamored with each other and there’s still so much more to learn about each other.
Even’s smile when Isak initiates the nose rub = murder me. I still think Isak did it to make the gesture theirs after seeing Even do it to Sonja at the neon pre-drink. Thinking about it from a directing standpoint, I am dying to know if Julie was giving the actors instructions on things to try or if they were told to improv and Tarjei did the nose rub and caught Henrik by surprise, basically how this little detail came to be. Because it’s not in the script and yet it became such an iconic Evak gesture, it was incorporated throughout their scenes as a way they not only express affection but show comfort and solidarity with each other. It is theirs.
Evak having certain gestures they come back to, such as the nose rub, makes this relationship seem more real and textured. Their relationship is very specific, with its own history and inside jokes and consistencies throughout the series, and it’s one reason why it’s stuck with me so long.
The timeline is pretty ambiguous in this montage. We know that they obviously spent Saturday together, but this montage doesn’t designate a clear linear path, it jumps between their different positions and activities - smoking, laughing, making out, looking into each other’s eyes. There are also parts in some of the editing where we have Even or Isak talking but their mouths aren’t moving, giving this scene a dreamy feel. It’s almost like they’re outside of time, in their little bubble. “Can I stay in here with you forever?” seems like a real possibility.
In part of the opening montage you can see the same kiss from the end of the clip, which could just be Julie reusing footage for whatever reason, but I like it because it’s almost like a loop between the start and end of the clip. Time is irrelevant in their bubble. Everything that’s going to happen, will happen, and it’s happening now.
Tarjei and Henrik deserve so much praise for their acting in this scene. Not just because there’s no skittishness or #nohomo bullshit that you sometimes see from actors playing gay couples, but because they sell the utter adoration between their characters better than a lot of A-listers, honestly. The looks on their faces … wow. So much fond! So much love!
Henrik does a lot of fantastic physical acting throughout this scene, because Even never lets up touching Isak - tracing or rubbing his back, stroking his face. Expressing his feelings through touch. Can you imagine how much Isak is soaking all of this up?
Speaking of Isak, this is by far the softest, gentlest, and happiest we have seen Isak in this season so far, and the whole series to this point. He’s like a completely different person in this scene. Tarjei really lets down Isak’s walls.
Even is wearing the traveling Jesus shirt which is appropriate after a scene where he just played God. You can imagine Isak throwing it to him for that reason. Not because of complex Biblical symbolism and rebirth metaphors, more to be a little shit. Hey God, I found a shirt with your son on it!
I love how Even looks super charmed by Isak blowing smoke in his face.
By the way, I know I’ve said this before somewhere, but this scene always makes me think of a commercial for fabric softener, with that nice soapy clean clothes smell. In reality, though, Isak’s bedroom would have smelled like weed, boy farts, unwashed sheets, and possibly chlorine from the pool.
Eternal mysteries: What is the Nicolas Cage movie where he doesn’t overact??? Nicolas Cage has made some respectable movies, it’s not all The Wicker Man and the Kirk Cameron-less Left Behind, but I don’t know if he’s ever been subtle. What’s a movie that Isak would have seen and Even wouldn’t? Unless they have differing opinions on overacting. This is going to bug me for eternity. (On a non-Skam note: I fell into a Wikipedia hole and while I knew Nicolas Cage was related to the Coppolas, I didn’t know he was a cousin of Jason Schwartzman?)
On a similar note, this doesn’t bother me too much since I’m too enchanted with their acting and the writing, but yeah, that one strand of hair just chillin’ under Tarjei’s chin in this scene… once you see it, you can’t un-notice it. (There’s also the mic that’s visible in the opening montage.)
This scene has no pressing plot, no obvious “point” in terms of communicating exposition or advancing the storyline, but it turns out to be vitally important as a whole bunch of motifs and themes are established, we get insight into both characters, and there’s a ton of foreshadowing.
“I actually think life is like a movie. That you can be the director of your own life.” As we know, Even has a cinematic mind and sometimes takes his advice very literally, aka staging underwater kisses in random people’s houses. But it’s interesting that Even feels this way since bipolar disorder would seem to be something that makes him feel less in control. I feel like he tries to live this way deliberately as a way to handle his mental illness.
Isak being impressed by infinity, thinking about the fact of being insignificant compared to all the universes out there, though - that’s kind of surprising! Even wants to maintain some control over his life, perhaps due to having this mental illness that makes him feel out of control, but Isak just thinks out there, everything is happening to him, and he’s OK with that. He’s more fascinated by the idea and not like ... struck down with existential dread.
What’s lovely is that when Isak disagrees with Even’s point, Even is eager to hear what Isak says. They both look happy to be having debates like this. They can disagree on certain topics but it’s OK because they love to hear the other’s POV. This is such a great foundation for a relationship, that they’re not all about physical attraction and desire, but they genuinely enjoy having conversations with each other about big topics.
Have we heard Isak talk at all about Big Ideas like this, with anyone else? I can certainly believe he’s had conversations like this with Jonas, but there’s something really intimate about putting aside all the mundane topics of daily conversation and diving into the bigger, more abstract discussions, things that really reveal a lot about who you are as a person and how you process the world.
And I mean, yes, I know that they’re both stoned right now and that’s helping Isak to open up. Still!
Oh my God, do I love, LOVE, the shot of Even and Isak lying overhead as Isak says, “There’s probably a parallel universe where an Isak and an Even are lying like this…” Because that’s exactly what it is in that moment! A parallel universe! Well, maybe. You can also interpret it as a non-linear moment, since we have Isak’s voiceover (where he was clearly just talking on screen) over a shot where Isak’s mouth clearly is not moving, to a cut back to Isak talking. But I also like the idea that this shot of Isak and Even lying silently together, Even tracing Isak’s back, is from one of those parallel universes that Isak is referring to, and that’s what the AU Isak and Even are doing right at that moment.
Also, nice editing from Julie, because Even moves his head to look directly at Isak as a way to link the two shots and it’s happening in both universes, Isak talking and Isak not talking.
Plus apart from the time/parallel universe stuff, it’s honestly just a beautiful shot, where both Isak and Even are deep in contemplation, and you can imagine all that is on their minds, but they’re not voicing it at this time. Just Even rubbing Isak’s back. Just them lying together.
Both Isak and Even memorized this entire conversation, because it was that important to them, and ended up storing a whole bunch of its references in the Evak museum. Parallel universes, yellow curtains, the boy who couldn’t hold his breath underwater...
Uhhh, that soft little noise Even makes after talking about the yellow curtains? End me.
Even is pretty vulnerable during this part of the conversation, giving his thoughts on parallel universes. I guess this is heading into personal territory, but this is the scene where I first started to think Even might have depression, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the same for a lot of other viewers. Not just the bit where Even says the only way to escape your thoughts is by dying, though Even saying that was a huge red flag and made me think Even was suicidal, or had attempted suicide in the past. But also when he mentions how thinking about all the different universes feels lonely. And that might be a reach because surely non-depressed people can feel similarly overwhelmed by the idea of being small and insignificant in an infinite number of universes, but it just pinged me (as someone with depression) as immediately recognizable. I can’t even put it into words, it just resonated in an unsettling way. Being alone, with just you and your thoughts, is terrifying when you have depression, because your mind starts to come up with some scary things.
I think that also accounts for why Isak might not understand why Even is freaked out by the idea. While Isak’s mental health has suffered as a result of his family life and his internalized homophobia - the insomnia is a noticeable effect, for one - I don’t think he’s been suicidal, and I don’t think, even with all his stress and inner struggles, that he realizes how bad one’s thoughts can get.
The only time the camera strays from Isak and Even in bed, during this entire scene of almost seven minutes, is when Eskild knocks and talks to Isak through the door. Because that’s an interruption of the bubble. Eskild is the outside world at this point, Eskild is the reminder that people do exist beside Isak and Even. Bless Eskild, but he’s an intruder here. His sudden presence also causes Isak to come up with a lie, saying that Even’s shoes are Jonas’ shoes, reverting to his habit of lying because he’s not ready to state the truth.
By the way, if you were watching in real time and were in the fandom at the time, you’ll remember that there was a theory that actually it was Jonas talking to Isak through the door, and therefore he would catch on to those not being his shoes. Which seems kind of silly now, because Jonas and Eskild don’t sound the same, but fandom sure loved its wild theories. I miss the bonkers shit people would come up with when you’re getting canon in 3-4 minutes increments day by day and are in constant speculation mode.
I love how Even is so charmed by Isak being a brat to Eskild. And that he seems happy at Eskild’s mention of Isak staying in his room all day (because hell yeah, why not, stay in here with me, Isak). And his tightening grip on Isak’s shoulder? My heart.
Also, Even’s gaze is more on Isak’s reactions to Eskild than looking to the door toward the voice, like … he is so enamored of everything Isak does and can barely take his eyes away. (That’s the boy he’s noticed since the first day of school!!! And he’s here, he’s finally here!!)
Isak complaining that Eskild is a babysitter is totally borrowed from what Even said the night before, when he told Sonja to stop monitoring him. Isak absolutely absorbs a lot of what Even says and does and ends up imitating him.
So we finally get the explanation for how Isak met Eskild and came to live in the flat in this scene. I wasn’t watching from S2 but this would have been a dangling topic since the S2 finale, at least.
In the script it’s mentioned specifically that Isak had a fight with his father before going out and getting drunk, which breaks my heart. Isak’s dad really let all of them down. What kind of a father leaves his teenage son alone with a mentally ill mother he is not prepared to care for? All because the dad couldn’t deal with the mom’s mental illness? What the fuck is a 16/17-year-old supposed to do? Not to get too personal again, but I have been a caretaker to a mentally ill parent (and one who had some drastic issues but whose sense of reality mostly wasn’t impaired like with Isak’s mother) and I could not imagine doing it without the help of my other parent. It’s just outrageously selfish to bail like that.
Isak not being able to remember whether Eskild tried to pick him up is … alarming. And sad. And it’s very good that Eskild found him when he was that out of it instead of someone else with less noble intentions.
Looking at Even’s POV, I doubt he thinks there’s anything going on between Isak and Eskild but Isak living on his own with another gay man, a non-relative, is a bag of unanswered questions, such as - is Isak out to anyone? Where’s Isak’s family? Was he kicked out for being gay? Like this is his way of prodding out some sensitive information. Later when he asks how Isak’s parents will react if they start dating, you can imagine this information is on his mind.
Again, Even’s eyes never leave Isak’s face during this conversation, and he keeps rubbing his thumb along Isak’s shoulder. And he doesn’t ask too many questions, he just lets Isak talk. Isak opens up more than we’ve seen him do in this season so far, but when stuff starts to get too heavy then he plays it off and Even allows it and doesn’t push.
As cute as it is, there’s something a little sad about Isak saying that Even can have his story and make a movie out of it? Like he’s clearly trying to play down how much it really affects him. Oh Even, just turn my sad family history into one of your tragic films, ha ha except not really.
“I am going to make a movie about you!” AHHHHHHHH. So glad we got our S4 YouTube masterpiece because when hearing this line mid-s3 I totally figured it would be foreshadowing and Even would like, confess some feelings to Isak via stop motion Barbie adventures. And I mean, the rest of S3 is so amazing that I didn’t miss not getting any Ken doll smooching, but I’m glad Julie came through with the promised cinematic ode to Isak Valtersen.
When Even’s phone starts ringing they both keep joking and laughing until they can no longer ignore it. Another intrusion to the bubble.
Even stroking back Isak’s hair and pressing his face to Isak’s forehead - some A+ intimacy.
I have to single out their acting again. Henrik is fantastic with all the touches and affection he’s giving, and Tarjei does such a lovely job with the slight shyness and sweetness from Isak. Like this is all new to Isak! It’s a ton of romantic attention and affection from a boy! You can see his curiosity and exploration. Then when they have to deal with the reality of what’s waiting for them outside the bubble, Even is so blatantly unhappy and Isak is just deflating in his subdued way. The actors manage these emotions so well.
Man, you can see how quietly happy Isak gets when Even asks to stay in there with him forever. He’s almost glowing. And it makes sense that this, specifically, is what Even asks him, because that’s what they want at the moment - not just to be together, but to stay inside the bubble away from all outside complications.
This final kiss as we close out the clip is just. The sweetest thing ever. With Isak lifting up his head to ask for it and Even kissing Isak’s forehead and cheek and their hands on the other’s face and neck. Imagine Isak’s growing confidence in asking for the kiss and Even’s generosity in giving Isak more than what he asks.
I don’t necessarily put a timeline as to when these two definitely fell in love (as opposed to liking each other/having a crush/whatever), or realized that they were in love, but tbh this feels like when it might have been it for Even. The act of breaking up with Sonja and asking Isak to be his boyfriend had to be huge for Even, in light of everything he had been through, and realizing he was in love with Isak here was big enough to take a chance, end his stifling but stable relationship, and pursue something new and unknown.
You know when you listen to a song you enjoy so much that you start to hear it and you don’t really love it anymore, it’s more like the memory of loving it? Or a book you read so many times that it’s more that you remember the emotions it used to provoke in you, rather than feeling them in the moment? Sometimes I fear that season three of Skam will get worn out for me like that. After all, I’ve seen it who knows how many times by now, and the show ended more than a year ago - eventually watching it will just be about the memories of how it felt to watch the first time, and not feeling scenes in themselves, right?
Watching this scene again still feels like the first time.
Clip 2 - Morning after
There has been discussion over whether Isak and Even went further than makeouts during their cozy weekend and I’m 95% in the camp that they did not. I mean, by all means, headcanon otherwise, but I don’t think sex happened at this point for the following reasons:
Narratively it would have been a huge deal, both in the progress of their relationship and of Isak’s personal development, and I tend to think Julie would have shown it or hinted at it more strongly if anything sexual had happened. It seems too important not to make more obvious. If you think about it, the parallel universe conversation could have happened while they were in a state of undress (or something to indicate that they’d gone further than makeouts) but instead she had them talk while in oversized hoodies and sweats. So I think she wanted the main takeaway from this snuggly Saturday to be them talking about their lives and personal philosophies.
Like I said, it would have been a big deal for Isak, going from his first kiss with a boy to being sexual with a boy within a day or so, and since Isak is still dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia, I’d say he wouldn’t progress that fast? It’s true that he seems willing to jump into things with Even pretty quickly, but it also makes more sense to me as a step after he’d come out to his friends and gained a little more self-acceptance. “They’re teenagers and therefore driven by hormones” isn’t convincing enough of a reason enough for me to think they went that far. I mean, Noora and William are also shown waking up in bed in their underwear in the next clip after their first kiss, and it’s immediately established that they have not yet had sex. (Which is why I don’t think Isak waking up in his boxers is proof, either.)
Just personal preference but Even is already cheating on Sonja by making out and snuggling with Isak. I’d rather he didn’t do anything blatantly sexual with him on top of that.
The only thing that gives me some doubt is the crumpled tissue on Isak’s nightstand, because we all know Skam loves to be cheeky about Isak’s toilet paper, lmao.
We’ve seen Isak struggle with insomnia but here he appears to have slept pretty well, and we get the first hint that Even also has trouble sleeping. “I don’t sleep cuz sleep is the cousin to death” is waaaaay more loaded as a lyric than it might seem at first. It’s also quite ominous as we kept getting casual mentions of death around Even. Feels like the Grim Reaper is always trailing him.
Even frequently calling Isak hot/attractive, as he does on his sketch, is so good for Isak to hear. Isak has trouble vocalizing his attraction to men (well I GUESS that guy on Grindr is handsome, Eskild) but for Even, talking about his attraction to Isak is as normal as breathing. Even just does not give a fuck, in a lot of ways, about some of the hangups that Isak currently struggles with - talking about men being attractive, dealing with generalizations, liking “gay”/stereotypically un-masculine things. And that’s really good for Isak to be around, because he thinks the world of Even, and if Even can be like that or say this or do that, then maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world for Isak to admit he finds boys attractive. Even normalizes some of this behavior for him.
Also, it’s just so nice for Isak’s first real love (a boy!!!) to make him feel adored and shower him with compliments. Sincere ones, at that! Even isn’t faking any of this as some people predicted; he’s completely smitten with Isak.
I find it so endearing that cartoon Isak wears a snapback underwater.
I forgot, who did the drawings for Even? Some random on the production team? Julie? Imagine keeping that as a souvenir from the set.
Even has already internalized what Isak said about parallel universes. This one is just a silly joke comic, but later these sketches are going to be something like a coping mechanism for him.
Lmao, Eskild and Noora. Noora is randomly cleaning walls as a way to either alleviate William-related stress, satiate Isak-related curiosity, or both. Both? Both. Julie had to delete a William-related line in the script because it didn’t fit in right here, but by the Looks she gives Isak once Eskild steps in, she wants all the gossip.
You know, not that I condone turning Isak’s sexuality into a fun speculative game, but I so wonder how the girl squad side of Nissen was reacting to the developing Evak relationship from the outside? You know Noora was probably giving Eva updates on everything, Vilde was clueless for a while, Sana was just complaining about Isak forgetting his biology notes, and Chris was like, “Damn, the spirits weren’t smoking crack after all.”
Don’t you wish you could’ve seen the Even-Eskild interaction in the bathroom that morning? Especially when Eskild encounters a random dude in the flat wearing the Jesus shirt. Was Even still wearing the shirt when he left, or did he return Isak’s clothes and go home in his Halloween costume?
Eskild is just. The best. He knows that Isak is most likely gay, and he wants Isak to open up to him, and he’s probably like “it’s finally happening!!!” once he spies Even in the bathroom. But he’s trying to be “casual” and positive about it. Oh, that Even guy was super cool! It’s cool that you had a cool guy over, Isak, we’re all cool with it.
Alas, Isak was Not in the mood to talk about this. As soon as he steps out of his bubble, he gets confronted with questions about Even and has to retreat. But the bubble just isn’t the same alone.
Clip 3 - Isak on the outskirts of the boy squad
Poor Isak just wants to find out what’s going on with Even, to the point of waiting outside his classroom. But he has no idea that what Even’s going through is way more serious than he could have realized.
Isak doesn’t waste a single second in bailing from Emma, lmao.
This scene with the boys is so well done. The tension is evident. Tarjei’s acting is terrific. He rolls up to the boys ready to be bro Isak, friend Isak, and you can see him present a better mood (or faking a better mood) only for the shock to sink in when he realizes he fucked up by forgetting Magnus’ birthday.
When Isak strolls up to the boys, none of them pause to acknowledge his presence, they don’t even know he arrives until Isak starts apologizing. That’s how out of the loop he is.
To be fair, as much as I understand why Isak would lose track of anything except lying in Even’s arms - with someone looking at you and cuddling you like that, who wouldn’t - but he did blow off his friend’s birthday after talking about it with his friends and discussing tentative plans, and ignored their texts to alert him. That’s the problem with the bubble: you’re cut off from the outside world, both bad and good. Isak needs to learn how to bring his two worlds together and not aggressively shut them off from each other.
Not to mention that this is the third week in a row where Isak has lied or canceled plans, after the Emma pre-drink he randomly canceled and the kosegruppa pre-drink he didn’t tell the boys about. Isak’s lie about his family party is just half-hearted. Jonas and Mahdi see right through it and aren’t falling for this BS. Even Jonas, the best friend ever, is getting done with Isak’s shit.
Lol forever at Julie’s script being like “Isak gives (Magnus) a hug or high-five or whatever, how the fuck am I supposed to know what 17 year old boys do.” It’s hilarious but also indicates that she probably asked Tarjei and David what gesture would fit in the context of this scene for their characters, and they went with the hug. Awwww.
The other boys do some good acting in this scene, too. David does a nice job of being a little friendlier than the other two, but in a muted way. Magnus is the most cheerful and good-natured of the boys, the one who doesn’t really get upset, and so he doesn’t shut out Isak to the degree that Jonas and Mahdi do (they both seem mega-annoyed with him) but I think Magnus was actually hurt by Isak forgetting his birthday? I mean, I doubt he went home and cried in his pillow. But it would sting that Isak just completely bailed with no warning, no text message that he wasn’t going to make it. He just totally forgot.
Isak tries to work his way back into the circle, being enthusiastic, wanting to know what happened, but he’s so blatantly on the outside. The other boys don’t even try to tell the story to him (and Jonas is the one who says this so you know it’s got an extra sting). You can see Isak visibly dim when he realizes he can’t just jump back into the squad - again, great acting from Tarjei.
Also, once the boys have made it clear that Isak can’t hop into their conversation like everything’s normal, we don’t get any more closeup shots of their faces. It’s all on Isak’s reaction. When the boys keep talking among each other, it’s like something happening at the edge of the frame, they move in and out of it, but we’re not able to engage with it fully … we the viewers don’t feel like we’re part of the discussion, either. We’re there with Isak.
So this story the boys tell, about the girl with the facial hair, was not in the script and must have been improvised by the actors or prompted by Julie later. However, it’s an example of how S3 was firing on all cylinders. The boys could have been talking about anything. They could be telling some wacky story about Magnus, a can of beer, and a saxophone. Any anecdote that’s complicated and something Isak can’t be part of, anything where you just had to be there to understand. But it’s not just any story. The incident they’re talking about involves a girl with a facial hair and Magnus almost kissing her. And how this was gross, you don’t want to kiss someone like your father. And what did Isak do on Saturday, instead of going to Magnus’ birthday party? He was kissing a boy. And lol, Even isn’t the most hirsute dude out there, but you have to imagine he has some stubble. But in any case, the message of what they’re saying is clear: kissing people with stubble is gross. Something I doubt a gay guy would think. These are straight dudes who don’t want to kiss girls who remind them of boys. Meanwhile Isak has been kissing an actual boy and found it to be pretty damn amazing, way more satisfying to him than kissing a girl. It’s just another way he’s locked out of the group - not only was he not there for this particular incident, he can’t even relate to the feelings behind the story at all. Julie and the cast are basically multi-tasking here by adding an extra layer of isolation that’s thematically relevant to Isak’s internal struggles. A ton of S3 is layered like this, which is part of why it’s lingered with its fans. And why I wanted to write tl;dr meta about it, lol.
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12 Reasons You Shouldn't Invest in naughty girl website
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A Bullet Post: The Lying Detective
(Again, LONG POST ahead and this is my third time replaying the episode and I noticed things while browsing on here and some of my own bits.)
●Nice carpet there. Red.
●And it makes some sense that Rosie isn't with John at that time. Very unstable, not good. But I can't help but to think something else is wrong here.
●"Why does everything have to be understandable? Why can't things be unacceptable and we just say that?" Funny enough John can't seem to accept some things of his own.
●Not gonna lie, first time watching it I was really shifting if this was Mary and the Bus Lady. I was that broken about the last episode.
●This is John in pain right now. Seeing his dead wife right there. This is John.
●"What's the very worst thig you can do to your very best friends? Tell them your darkest secret. Because if you tell them and they decided they rather not know, you can't take it back you can't unsay it. Once you've opened your heart you can't close it again." I think...this will be brought right into The Final Problem for sure. And he might be back as well.
●TD 12. They couldn't JUST mention this and implement it and NOT having this drug involved somehow in the arching story in some bigger way.
●This soundtrack going on while he was about to confess reminded me a little bit of Mr. Robot's soundtrack. Heh.
●When Sherlock said in the last episode that intuitions should not be ignored and that it's data processed too fast for the mind to comprehend? Yeah, I knew her face was off but then the scene was going along, I was listening and it just slipped my mind altogether. Sneaky, sneaky, show...
●I love the way they show Sherlock's throught process here, with the chalk, the handbag and so much else.
●How many things is he cooking up exactly?
●Oh, Sherlock. :(
●And...after awhile it made me wonder if John had been in the same state "Faith" was in as well. :( Sherlock shouldn't label himself. :( Sociopaths don't care this much. :( And this sociopath does. :')
●Ok this, this right now HE IS SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH HIS SISTER. AND HE'S SMILING IN THE STATE HE'S IN AND KNOWS WHY HE IS IN THIS STATE, BUT HE IS SMILING BECAUSE HIS SECRET CRAZY EVIL SISTER MADE A LIGHT SARCASTIC JOKE AND DID THIS...
●I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS "ROOM".
●"Oh, Big Brother is watching you." "Literally." DOUBLE LITERALLY HOLY SHIT. WOW. At first I thought "how did she know that?" But then Mycroft is the government and Sherlock is popular or something.
●"You never made it up to me?" "And how am i supposed to do that?" "Sex." LITERALLY AND I'LL GET TO THAT LATER.
●UCK OFF. Oh, Empty Hearse feels.
●Sherlock talking about one taking their own life and how it would still affect those close to you after you're gone because your life is also theirs. Moffat, thank you for that.
●IF YOU BLINK YOU MISS IT.
●Now...why was this gun shown at the beginning of this episode and connected to John YET also connected to TST with the aquarium? Ohh boi....
●TWO TIMES NOW WHEN SHERLOCK IS DRUGGED WE FLASH BACK TO REDBEARD.
●ANYONE. This whole sequence was so awesome. So very awesome and trippy.
●I LOVE THIS WOMAN SO MUCH. SHE IS OUR VOICE HERE. SHE IS A FORCE. WE SING HER PRAISES.
●AND THIS WHOLE THING. I WAS FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS. I was laughing because it's just hilarious, i was feeling so bad and sorry because the man is so close to loosing his mind and i felt like I want to put him in my pocket because he's precious and needs protection.
● "Oh, hello. Can I have a cup of tea?" SYRJAIUOHTKDDTHKHTKDUOIAYDJTYSJRYJDTUKTDYFJLBABY
● Basically. (and I love this whole sequence too)
●"I know Mary's dead and I know your heart's broken but if Sherlock Holmes dies too who will you have? I will tell you something John Watson you will not have me!" "They don't matter! You do!" MRS. HUDSON, THANK YOU.
●This is the part where I collectively lost my shit the first time I saw this scene. MRS. HUDSON, THANK YOU. (Even though he planned being there but he didn't figure THIS out. My god the poor man in the trunk when Mrs Hudson was in a highspeed car chase though.)
●"YOU PRETENDED TO BE DEAD FOR TWO YEARS." ".....apart from that!" omg.
● "He knows you." "No, he doesn't" "I'm in your head, John. You're disagreeing with yourself" And he agreed that he was too while answering the driver as well. And knowing this you reconstruct every scene with him and Mary who's in his head. Because Mary is John's thoughts.
●"Yeah, ok he is. But he's our monster." said in an eyerolling, affectionate and knowing way. MEANING: "He's my monster. I know that." :""")
●"You know I'm a killer. But did you know I'm a CEREAL KILLER?" DAT PUN.
●Ahhh John Watson's blog. Funny because in the last episode he was still "updating" it. But on the website itself they say he isn't.
●JAWN. OMG JAWWWWWN.
●and after thought when scrolling through tumblr he does dress pretty sharp in this series does he? Does it serve a purpose?
●Mary smiling and watching Sherlock being obliviously funny as he mostly is. MEANING: John is enjoying and loving this. John wants him to wear the hat.
●MY BOYS ARE CLICKING IN SYNC AGAIN. (little did I know later. :( )
●I really like the H. H. Holmes element they brought in here. Because it may relate to Culverton AND Sherlock's sister. Hiding in plain sight the both of them. A hotel secretly a murder hotel.
●There is no getting over that this happened.
●It cannot be justified other than this is John's rage and guilt letting himself hit Sherlock because John himself is in so much pain already. So why not take it out on someone else for a change? It is not fair nor is it right. And Sherlock didn't even cover himself. He feels just as guilty as well and he loathes himself that much to allow John to continue. Something like this cannot be mended easily. But they'll get there. They only got each other now. The person who causes you the most pain is the person that can can fix it sort of thing.
●"You're still thinking about Sherlock?" "No, you are." MEANING: HE IS STILL THINKING ABOUT SHERLOCK. AND HE HATED WHAT HE HAD DONE TO SHERLOCK.
●"Sherlock is not your only brother. There's another one is there?" "No." HAHAHAAHHAHAH IT'S A SISTER . WE'RE ALL FOOLS.
●"The man we both love."
●They have really gone through mad lenghts for their love for John. Mary didn't "properly" kill Sherlock that first time because of John, Mary knew that would break John and didn't want that on her hands even though she was in a tight situation that she could've easily gotten out of. She then saved Sherlock because...she likes him and instict at most but I can't help but think John equals into this as well. Sherlock as saved his life loads and loads of times in many ways and John himself knows this. So this last bit where Mary tells Sherlock to basically be in living hell, Sherlock does it because it's John, he would do whatever it takes. Depression is a tricky thing and when you're really down below it would take a lot to bring that person back up. Especially with a man like him. But I don't like it that this plan is by chance. It almost didn't work. That's how in bad a shape John is right now.
●Yes, he changed the IV but he knows he's going to die with Smith there. That crack in his voice tells so much. (OMG I LOST MYSELF HERE. DAMMIT BEN.)
●He doesn't want to die because he wants his best friend and the man he loves to save his life. But probably with what happened to them he wasn't so sure about that and this scared him.
●"Oh, you cock." NO I THOUGHT THERE WAS A RECORDING DEVICE UNDER HIS COCK ASDGHHJLJHFSAETUIODOMG
●THIS BIT. HE WANTED JOHN TO STAAAAAYYYYYYYY. I SAW THAT.
●AND JOHN WANTED TO STAY AS WELL BUT APPARENTLY HE'S IGNORING THIS FACT FROM HIMSELF?
●Sherlock is making so much human efforts like never before this is great, he almost let John walk out the door but no, he asked if he was ok. He asked if he could go see Rosie. He wants John because...he's all he has as well.
●Mary smiling at John's reasoning to Sherlock is himself letting go, admitting he was a major cock himself.
●Mary teasing Sherlock about Irene is pretty much coming off as a surprise from John. His face says otherwise though for the most part.
●MAN, NO WAY I WAS THINKING OF IRENE WHEN JOHN GAVE THAT INTENSE SPEECH. WHY WAS SHERLOCK LOOKING AWAY? WHY WAS MARY AKA INNER JOHN LOOKING DOWN?
●Mary being silent while John is confessing. This is for John, for him to just admit it, wallow in it and let it go slowly. Telling himself to be better. For Mary and for Sherlock.
●This is what it is. These two are at their most vulnerable in front of each other like never before. This is another pivotal moment in their relationship.
●CAKE AND HATS
●SEX. THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND IT'S STRANGE.
●First time watching this my head was reeling at this point. I'M SCARED AND EXCITED ON WHAT SHE WILL DO, WHAT SHE HAD DONE AND OMG.
●OK, CAN WE GO THROUGH THE FACT THAT JOHN HAD CHEATED ON MARY WITH SHERLOCK'S CRAZY SECRET SISTER? LIKE..IF IT COULD BE ANYBODY RIGHT? SHERLOCK'S SISTER.
Final Thoughts: This episode shot to my top 3. There was an urgency in this episode and so much more emotional than the rest. The way it was edited was ever amazing and had awe to it. I like where they take these characters (Mycroft and Smallwood better have a reason) and it tests them. Culverton was as evil as they said he would be. Eurus would be interesting to watch and I hope we'll see more of her though as well. Wonder what the connection between her and Smith and Moriarty would be. My boys, Sherlock and John are put through a test here to see how their relationship would hold and it did. It's not perfect and still needs to mend and heal a bit but it would always be about them. Now for the final epsiode of the season I'm gonna keep my expectations lowered and leveled. John and Sherlock have a chance to be something more and if that moment comes i don't want it to be fan service. But then again their foundation is already there for it to happen if it happens. Either way I'm still in love with this show so much.
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Survey #382
“’cuz if i stand up, i’ll break my bones, and everybody loves to see a fall unfold”
Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.
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