#literally one of the craziest stories ive ever seen. and the fact that it makes like 70-80% sense is even crazier

[tetanus-detonation]

I just spent all day mainlining the Monuments Mythos and there's nobody I can talk abt it with without sounding insane 😭😭

[thedevilnamedlola]

"Usually, I lie. At a party, someone asks the question. It’s someone who hasn’t smelled the rancid decay of week-dead flesh or heard the rattle of fluid flooding lungs. I shake the ice in my glass, smile, and lie. When they say, “I bet you always get that question,” I roll my eyes and agree.

There are plenty of in-between stories to delve into; icky, miraculous ones and reams of the hilarious and stupid. I did, after all, become a paramedic knowing it would stack my inner shelves with a library of human tragicomedy. I am a writer, and we are nothing if not tourists gawking at our own and other people’s misery. No?

The dead don’t bother me. Even the near-dead, I’ve made my peace with. When we meet, there’s a very simple arrangement: Either they’re provably past their expiration date and I go about my business, RIP, or they’re not and I stay. A convenient set of criteria delineates the provable part: if they have begun to decay; if rigor mortis has set in; if the sedentary blood has begun to pool at their lowest point, discoloring the skin like a slowly gathering bruise. The vaguest criterion is called obvious death, and we use it in those bizarre special occasions that people are often sniffing for when they ask questions at parties: decapitations, dismemberments, incinera- tions, brains splattered across the sidewalk. Obvious death.

One of my first obvious deaths was a portly Mexican man who had been bicycling along the highway that links Brooklyn to Queens. He’d been hit by three cars and a dump truck, which was the only one that stopped. The man wasn’t torn apart or flattened, but his body had twisted into a pretzel; arms wrapped around legs. Somewhere in there was a shoulder. Obvious death. His bike lay a few feet away, gnarled like its owner. Packs and packs of Mexican cigarettes scattered across the highway. It was three a.m. and a light rain sprinkled the dead man, the bicycle, the cigarette packs, and me, made us all glow in the sparkle of police flares. I was brand new; cars kept rushing past, slowing down, rushing past.

Obvious death. Which means there’s nothing we can do, which means I keep moving with my day, with my life, with whatever I’ve been pondering until this once-alive-now-inanimate object fell into my path.If I can’t check off any of the boxes—if I can’t prove the person’s dead—I get to work and the resuscitation flowchart erupts into a tree of brand-new and complex options. Start CPR, intubate, find a vein, put an IV in it. If there’s no vein and you’ve tried twice, drill an even bigger needle into the flat part of the bone just below the knee. Twist till you feel a pop, attach the IV line. If the heart is jiggling, shock it; if it’s flatlined, fill it with drugs. If the family lingers, escort them out; if they look too hopeful, ease them toward despair. If time slips past and the dead stay dead, call it. Signs of life? Scoop ’em up and go.

You see? Simple.

Except then one day you find one that has a quiet smile on her face, her arms laying softly at her sides, her body relaxed. She is ancient, a crinkled flower, and was dying for weeks, years. The fam- ily cries foul: She had wanted to go in peace. A doctor, a social worker, a nurse—at some point all opted not to bother having that difficult conversation, perhaps because the family is Dominican and the Spanish translator wasn’t easily reachable and anyway, someone else would have it, surely, but no one did. And now she’s laid herself down, made all her quiet preparations and slipped gently away. Without that single piece of paper though, none of the lamentations matter, the peaceful smile doesn’t matter. You set to work, the tree of options fans out, your blade sweeps her tongue aside and you battle in an endotracheal tube; needles find their mark. Bumps emerge on the flat line, a slow march of tiny hills that resolve into tighter scribbles. Her pulse bounds against your fingers; she is alive.

But not awake, perhaps never to be again. You have brought not life but living death, and fuck what I’ve seen, because that, my friends at the party, my random interlocutor who doesn’t know the reek of decay, that is surely one of the craziest things I have ever done.

But that’s not what I say. I lie.

Which is odd because I did, after all, become a medic to fill the library stacks, yes? An endless collection of human frailty vignettes: disasters and the expanding ripple of trauma. No, that’s not quite true. There was something else, I’m sure of it.

And anyway, here at this party, surrounded by eager listeners with drinks in hand, mouths slightly open, ready to laugh or gasp, I, the storyteller, pause. In that pause, read my discomfort.

On the job, we literally laugh in the face of death. In our crass humor and easy flow between tragedy and lunch break, outsiders see callousness: We have built walls, ceased to feel. As one who laughs, I assure you that this is not the case. When you greet death on the daily, it shows you new sides of itself, it brings you into the fold. Gradually, or maybe quickly, depending on who you are, you make friends with it. It’s a wary kind of friendship at first, with the kind of stilted conversation you might have with a man who picked you up hitch- hiking and turns out to have a pet boa constrictor around his neck. Death smiles because death always wins, so you can relax. When you know you won’t win, it lets you focus on doing everything you can to try to win anyway, and really, that’s all there is: The Effort.

The Effort cleanses. It wards off the gathering demons of doubt. When people wonder how we go home and sleep easy after bearing witness to so much pain, so much death, the answer is that we’re not bearing witness. We’re working. Not in the paycheck sense, but in the sense of The Effort. When it’s real, not one of the endless parade of chronic runny noses and vague hip discomforts, but a true, soon- to-be-dead emergency? Everything falls away. There is the patient, the family, the door. Out the door is the ambulance and then farther down the road, the hospital. That’s it. That’s all there is.

Awkward text messages from exes, career uncertainties, generalized aches and pains: They all disintegrate beneath the hugeness that is someone else’s life in your hands. The guy’s heart is failing; fluid backs up in those feebly pumping chambers, erupts into his lungs, climbs higher and higher, and now all you hear is the raspy clatter every time he breathes. Is his blood pressure too high or too low? You wrap the cuff on him as your partner finds an IV. The monitor goes on. A thousand possibilities open up before you: He might start getting better, he might code right there, the ambulance might stall, the medicine might not work, the elevator could never come. You cast off the ones you can’t do anything about, see about another IV because the one your partner got already blew. You’re sweating when you step back and realize nothing you’ve done has helped, and then everything becomes even simpler, because all you can do is take him to the hospital as fast as you can move without totaling the rig.

He doesn’t make it. You sweated and struggled and calculated and he doesn’t make it, and dammit if that ain’t the way shit goes, but also, you’re hungry. And you’re alive, and you’ve wracked your body and mind for the past hour trying to make this guy live. Death won, but death always wins, the ultimate spoiler alert. You can only be that humbled so many times and then you know: Death always wins. It’s a warm Thursday evening and grayish orange streaks the horizon. There’s a pizza place around the corner; their slices are just the right amount of doughy. You check inside yourself to see if anything’s shattered and it’s not, it’s not. You are alive. You have not shattered.

You have not shattered because of The Effort. The Effort cleanses because you have become a part of the story, you are not passive, the very opposite of passive, in fact. Having been humbled, you feel amazing. Every moment is precise and the sky ripples with delight as you head off to the pizza place, having hurled headlong into the game and given every inch of yourself, if only for a moment, to a losing struggle.

It’s not adrenaline, although they’ll say that it is, again and again. It is the grim, heartbroken joy of having taken part. It is the difference between shaking your head at the nightly news and taking to the streets. It’s when you finally tell her how you really feel, the moment you craft all your useless repetitive thoughts into a prayer.

At the party, as they look on expectantly, I draft one of the lesser moments of horror as a stand-in. The evisceration, that will do. That single strand of intestine just sitting on the man’s belly like a lost worm. He was dying too, but he lived. It was a good story, a terrible night.

I was new and I didn’t know if I’d done anything right. He lived, but only by a hair. I magnified each tiny decision to see if I’d erred and came up empty. There was no way to know. Eventually I stopped taking jobs home with me. I released the ghosts of what I’d done or hadn’t done, let The Effort do what it does and cleanse me in the very moment of crisis. And then one night I met a tiny three-year old girl in overalls, all smiles and high-fives and curly hair. We were there because a neighbor had called it in as a burn, but the burns were old. Called out on his abuse, the father had fled the scene. The emergency, which had been going on for years, had ended and only just begun.

The story unraveled as we drove to the hospital; I heard it from the front seat. The mother knew all along, explained it in jittery, sobbing replies as the police filled out their forms. It wasn’t just the burns; the abuse was sexual too. There’d been other hospital visits, which means that people who should’ve seen it didn’t, or didn’t bother setting the gears in motion to stop it. I parked, gave the kid another high five, watched her walk into the ER holding a cop’s hand.

Then we had our own forms to fill out. Bureaucracy’s response to unspeakable tragedy is more paperwork. Squeeze the horror into easy-to-fathom boxes, cull the rising tide of rage inside and check and recheck the data, complete the forms, sign, date, stamp, insert into a metal box and then begin the difficult task of forgetting.

The job followed me down Gun Hill Road; it laughed when I pretended I was okay. I stopped on a corner and felt it rise in me like it was my own heart failing this time, backing fluids into my lungs, breaking my breath. I texted a friend, walked another block. A sob came out of somewhere, just one. It was summer. The breeze felt nice and nice felt shitty.

My phone buzzed. Do you want to talk about it?

I did. I wanted to talk about it and more than that I wanted to never have seen it and even more than that I wanted to have done something about it and most of all, I wanted it never to have hap- pened, never to happen again. The body remembers. We carry each trauma and ecstasy with us and they mark our stride and posture, contort our rhythm until we release them into the summer night over Gun Hill Road. I knew it wasn’t time to release just yet; you can’t force these things. I tapped the word no into my phone and got on the train.

I don’t tell that one either. Stories with trigger warnings don’t go over well at parties. But when the question is asked, the little girl’s smile and her small, bruised arms appear in my mind.

The worst tragedies don’t usually get 911 calls, because they are patient, unravel over centuries. While we obsess over the hyperviolent mayhem, they seep into our subconscious, poison our sense of self, upend communities, and gnaw away at family trees with intergenerational trauma.I didn’t pick up my pen just to bear witness. None of us did. And I didn’t become a medic to get a front-row seat to other people’s tragedies. I did it because I knew the world was bleeding and so was I, and somewhere inside I knew the only way to stop my own bleeding was to learn how to stop someone else’s. Another call crackles over the radio, we pick up the mic and push the button and drive off. Death always wins, but there is power in our tiniest moments, humanity in shedding petty concerns to make room for compassion. We witness, take part, heal. The work of healing in turn heals us and we begin again, laughing mournfully, and put pen to paper.

Daniel José Older"

[suadabdelrahman]

100  facts about me

1. Name -Suad Abdel-Rahman

2. Age -20

3. City that you live in -Accra

4. What do most people not know about you? -I was born with a lisp

5. What do most people know you for? -My social media presence

6. Hobbies -Watching series, listening to music

7. What are your passions? -film directing

8. What do you search for in a significant other? -Kindness

7. What are you most proud of? -My growth

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? -Cant remember

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? -Wine

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. - Get a nose piercing - Learn to swim - Get more tattoos - Travel all around the world - Direct a movie/ music video - Fly in a hot air balloon - See the Northern Lights - Publish a book - Go stargazing - Speak in public

11. What was the last thing you learned? -Dispute settlement at ICSID

12. How many relationships have you been in? -3

13. Turn ons -Nice perfume

14. Turn offs -Dirty feet

15. Favorite food -Kelewele

16. Favorite drink -Cranberry juice

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? -A painting of myself

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? -Realistic

19. Do you sleep during class? -No

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? -I dont know

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? -Eyebrow pencil

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? -50

23. Text or call? -Text

24. Opinion on long distance? -It can work if you both want it to

25. What is your definition of success? -Making money from doing what you love

26. Favorite song? -Like by Reekado Banks/Tiwa Savage/Fiokee

27. Favorite artist? -The Weeknd, Travis Scott

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? -Drake, Hector Bellerin

29. When was the last time you read for fun? -Last week

30. Favorite flower? -No preference yet

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? -Money and diamonds

32. Any guilty pleasures? -WAGS Miami and Superstory

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? -Laziness

34. What do you search for in a friend? -Vibes

35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month? -Cant remember

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? -School

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? -Life isnt fair

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? -Being stabbed in the eye

39. How many green shirts do you own?

40. Do you like anime? -No

41. What do you invest the most time in? -Watching movies

42. What was the name of the last book you read? -Ho Tactics

43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone? -I think love is a deep feeling of care for someone and like is enjoying someones energy so much that you want to be around them.

44. Where are you most productive? -Depends on the activity

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. -Playing games -Partying -Swimming

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. -Sleeping -Watching movies -Eating

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? -No

48. Do you have any allergies? -Alcohol intolerance

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? -Cant remember

50. What was the last promise you made? -Cant remember, i rarely make promises

51. What was your last dream about?

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? -My family (4) and Kuukua

53. How many countries have you visited? -Two

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music,dance,painting,etc.) -Music

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? -Yesterday

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? -I dont think so

57. Do you consider yourself mature? -Yes

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? -100

59. What is your favorite quote? -Its a tie between “Knowing is better than learning so because i know i wont learn”- Kuukua AND “A plenty talking cannot let a dead man hear you” -Bukom Banku

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? - Do not force people into the religion - Be reasonable not radical -Be your brother/sisters keeper

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? -Wait on it

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? -Yes

63. What are your goals for life? -To be happy -To be rich -To be healthy

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? -Probably relaxing.

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. -Some peaceful island

66. What were you like in 2013? -Naive

67. Do you have a job? -Not yet

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. -Her name was Lady Shudy (not sure how it was spelt) She had a brother named Rocky. One time we snuck out of class to play on swings and got into trouble. Thats literally all i remember about my first best friend

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? -The unwillingness to listen

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? -Too many to count

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? -Its a tie between Tumblr and Pinterest.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? -Almost anything (not murder or anything like that)

73. Does money equal happiness? -It can

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? -Not even sure tbh

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? -Not sure

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? -Honestly i cant pick one, ive had too many laughs

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? -Cant remember, not a fan

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? -Stfu

79. What is your favorite animal? -Goldfish

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? -Yes

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? -Listening to understand rather than reply

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? -It all varies

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? -No

84. What is your favorite clothing store? -Dont have one.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? -Beanies

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? -Wings

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? -Yes

88. What do you fear the most? -Regret

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? -3

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? -2016

91. Describe yourself in one word. -Complicated

92. Describe your last victory. -What i learnt came in my exam

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? -Cant think of anything

94. What is something you will never forget? -The day my illness kicked into full effect

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? -Remember in detail

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? -No

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? -Love

98. Coffee or tea? -Coffee

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? -Drinking water, eating less junk and not drinking soda.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? - About 2

[starfiresupernova]

11 Questions

I was tagged by both @jiyamarrii & @chasethesun18 to do this, so I’ll be answering 22 questions. But I love these things so I’m totally okay with it LOL. Anyway, let’s get started!

Laura’s Questions

1. Marvel or DC? TV-Verse or Film-Verse? Why? — The easy answer to this question is that I like all superhero stuff. I tend to watch more Marvel, but I’m a big fan of both. MCU? Yes please. Smallville? Sign me up. I haven’t watched the Marvel Netflix shows yet, but I really want to. Cloak and Dagger on Freeform is pretty good so far! I watched the first two seasons of Arrow and most of the Flash, but since the CW added all the other DC shows to their programming, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, but they’re still good! So yeah, long story short, I like it all :)

2. I’m looking for new TV shows to watch. Recommend me a show and tell me why you think I’d like it. — I can’t remember if you’ve watched Gilmore Girls or not, but I recommend it to everyone who wants something funny and heartwarming, but heartbreaking sometimes, too. Lorelai is my SPIRIT ANIMAL. Otherwise, I recommend Lost in Space on Netflix if you’re into Sci-Fi stuff (it’s also funny, and the characters are amazing). One Tree Hill is amazing if you’re into soapy teen dramas (like 90210 or Gossip Girl). The awesome thing about OTH though, is that it’s obviously drama, but it deals with other serious topics and it isn’t bitchy like GG. The characters are all different in their own way, and it’s my favorite teen drama show of all time.

3. Watch a random episode of Timeless. Tell me your opinions on the episode and I’ll try to guess which episode you watched. — Okay, so I know each episode like the back of my hand, so let’s go. It’s my second favorite episode of the entire show. The music is A+. (You’ve probably already guessed it by now lolol.) It has one of my top 5 favorite Lucy outfits. I’ve seen this episode so many times I’m pretty sure I can almost recite it word for word (and I’m not sorry about that).

4. Do you have a skin care routine? If yes, what is it? — Not really. I don’t use much on my skin to tell you the truth. I use the St. Ives Blackhead Clearing green tea scrub every other day, and once in a while I’ll use a Biore charcoal pore strip. Other than that I don’t use anything.

5. What are your favorite pair of shoes? Why? — This might sound completely childish, but I LOVE my shoes that have daisies on them. I got them at Payless, and they’re Minnie Mouse brand, but they’re black with little daisies printed on them and I love them so much. I need a new pair soon because they’re a few years old and they’re worn, but I love them to death.

6. What is your phone wallpaper? What is your desktop wallpaper? — My lock screen on my phone is a picture I found on Google Images of Timeless. It’s blue and has the Time Team and the Timeless logo with a cloud. My home screen on my phone is a cotton candy-esque background. My desktop wallpaper is the Timeless edit I made with the Taylor lyric “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it.”

7. If you could have dinner with one person, dead, alive, or fictional, who would it be and why? — I really want to say Lorelai Gilmore (or anyone from Gilmore Girls, honestly..) for this one. Eating at Luke’s Diner? Yes. Please. I’m all in.

8. What’s your favorite smell? Why? — This is very oddly specific, but I have this notebook that I got for Christmas last year. And every book/notebook/paper smells good, but THIS NOTEBOOK. It’s my favorite kind of paper smell. I know, it’s weird, but it’s amazing. Otherwise I love lemon, vanilla, and peppermint scents and the smell of the grill when we grill hamburgers/hot dogs.

9. Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are they? Do you regret any of them? — I do not have any tattoos, but I want to get one in the near future.

10. What is your horoscope for today? —  Jun 11, 2018 - You enjoy caring for others and you intervene regularly in their lives to guide them. Ironically, today you're the one who needs advice. You'll probably need to get away from it all in order to get a clear view of your own life, Leo. You could even decide to make the necessary arrangements for a trip abroad.

11. Beards: Yes or No? — UM YES.

(OBVIOUSLY I NEEDED TO INCLUDE WYATT’S MAGICAL BEARD)

I also love Xavier from No Tomorrow, Hugh Jackman, and John Krasinski. Their beards are also pretty magical.

Ryan’s Questions

1. If a book becomes a movie do you read it or watch it first? — Most of the time I don’t realize a movie was a book until after I see it. And then I always end up liking the movie better. (IE the Twilight saga) I always try to read the book first, but sometimes I’ll just watch the movie. 

2. What’s your favorite Disney movie? — OOH OKAY LET’S GO. Tangled is my favorite all-animated Disney movie. Meet the Robinsons comes at a second. Enchanted is my all-time favorite Disney movie EVER. My Favorite Martian is my favorite all-non-animated Disney movie. Also The Princess Diaries comes at a close second.

3. If you could have one superpower what would it be? — If I got to choose I would want to have telekinesis. Matilda has solidified that dream LOL.

4. Do you believe in soul mates? — I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. I don’t like to think that there’s only ONE person in the entire world that I’m meant to be with, and that they’re my other half. I mean, it’s a nice concept, but also I feel like I would just be too worried that I won’t ever meet my soulmate because it could literally be anyone in the entire universe. I’m meh on the subject.

5. What’s your happiest memory? — Honestly I think my most happy memories are when I was really little, like in early elementary school? Like, ages 5-11 is when I think I was most happy. And don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy now and whatever, but I have more responsibility now and I was more carefree back then. One memory that sticks out is Christmas of 2010. I got my DSi XL and I was at my grandparents house with all of my cousins. We played around on the DS and took pictures, and I still have them saved on it. The very first picture I ever took on it. It was just such a happy time for me, and I love thinking back on it.

6. Most embarrassing memory? — I threw up in front of my entire classroom in 4th grade. It was terrible. And it happened so long ago, but I still can’t get over the fact that there are people my age who saw me throw up on the floor of our classroom. Nope. Let me go hide forever LOL.

7. Where do you see yourself in five years? — I don’t really like to plan that far ahead into the future, but in five years I’d like to be moved out of my parents’ house and working on getting my book published. (I’m still working on writing it at the moment, so hopefully I’ll be done with it by then and in the process of finding it a home.)

8. Who is/has been the most influential person in your life? — I have to go with my parents on this one. But only personality-wise. I’m not interested in what my parents do for a living, but I try to model my work-ethic and values after them. I’ve obviously grown my own personal tastes, but I see more of myself in them every day and I’m very proud of that.

9. If you could time travel to the start of this year and tell yourself something what would you tell yourself? — You won’t have everything figured out yet, and that’s okay. You’ll be pressured, but take things at your own pace. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to figure things out, no matter what everyone is telling you. You’ll get to where you want to be, you just have to take your time, and set your own pace.

10. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? — Wow, okay, this is going to sound lame. Are y’all ready? I stole a toy camera from Goodwill when I was, like, 6. I wanted it but I didn’t think my dad would let me, so I hid it in my coat pocket and never told anyone. That was literally the first thing that came to mind.. 

11. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? — I love that I don’t waver in my enjoyment of things. My sister mainly, always makes fun of me for wearing what I wear, for reading, and for listening to the kind of music that I listen to, but I’m very proud of all of those things and I don’t let it bother me. Yeah, it gets annoying when she tells me my taste in music sucks, but I will very happily listen to Two Weeks Late by Ashley Monroe at a high volume and sing along proudly. No shame. As Jessica Day so proudly states, “I break for birds! I rock a lot of polka-dots. I have touched glitter in the past twenty-four hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird and it freaks me out. And I’m sorry I don’t like Murphy Brown, and I hate your pantsuit; I wish it had ribbons on it or something to just make it slightly cuter. And that doesn’t mean I‘m not smart and tough and strong.” 

Thanks for the tag, guys! This was fun :)

[nijiimura]

all the botanical asks ;)

damn you.

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?griffins hell yea

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?soundcloud!!

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?annihilation by jeff vandermeer 

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?depends on if they fit or not but YEA bc it smells like them its nice

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?tomorrow im gonna see zoe im so fuckin ready

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?that its gonna be ok

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests?the ocean

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?the question is who was the last person i kissed 

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?dfjdsbnfjsbfhfd NO im a walking disaster

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?bored

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?i dreamed about seeing infinity war the night before i actually saw it and apparently in dream IW they never went to Wakanda and just shot footage just for trailers like they did in rogue one

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?chocolate...

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?turn on - girls. turn off - men.

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? why?this morning bc my teacher sent me a pissed off email after i told me i was gonna be an hour late bc i missed the bus

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?no

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?whoever bites their ice cream are monsters

honey perfume; favorite movie ever?grand budapest hotel!!!!

desert rose; do you like yourself?hmmm next question

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?i took a selfie w a WWE commentator years ago 

night owl; how many countries have you visited?2!

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?yea it was fucken sweet

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?come out??

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?SLEEPOVER W ZOE TOMORROW

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?leo... yknow... nya

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.-i wear socks to bed bc my feet get cold!!-i have a scar on my wrist from a swinging accident w my little brother-i have a spotify playlist thats 122hrs long bc i just dump albums on there-abba is currently my favorite band-bleeding hearts are my favorite flowers bc they remind me of my late great grandma

daphne; do you believe in karma?yes??

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?yes

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?my dad tbh hes one of the hardest workers i know and has such a shitty job and deals w 90% of my family drama but hes always so positive and funny and i love my dad so damn much

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?good dog carl

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?i fucken hope so

iris; do you believe in ghosts?YEA

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?1979 just so i can go to an abba concert

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?hm no lmao

primula; what makes you sad?school. all these rohan ovas davpro keeps releasing

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?yea i went to class and disappointed my teacher 

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?zoe

lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?nothing... and i had nothing for lunch either.... all ive had is some lemonade and poptarts i bought like an hour ago

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?going to this damn college

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?ok star wars universe is rad as fuck

violet; favorite tv show?the office and kitchen nightmares HDJIFDNJF

sunflower; share a favorite quote.god idk man

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?im home alone and its raining outside and i have the windows open. i dont have any deadlines to meet and i spend the day drawing 

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?drawing and crying

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.BITCH IDK DO U THINK I READ?????

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?catch fireflies but i am SO terrified of all bugs its not funny

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?my fucken age

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why?okuyasu nijimura means the entire world to me, and heres why (pulls out 50 page essay) no but my little brother

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?have yall... dabbled in these books called warriors by erin hunter?

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?im not even into su anymore but amethyst always wins

magnolia; coffee or tea?coffee

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?Why Not Both Thot

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?WHY NOT BOTH THOT

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?hey guys im smoking the latest coolest drug called okuyasu nijimura

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?y...yes

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?yellow

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?yea we tight

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?night

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?idk if adhd is a mental illness or not so imma say... maybe

clover; how would your friends describe you?

fucken gay

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?depends :/

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?bitch idk man im an open book i embarrass myself on a daily basis

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.dumb gay bitch

lotus; best memory as a child?my mom bringing my cat bill home for the first time!!! he was so small.......

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?brown and brown

dahlia; do you like crystals?yea imma shove my dick in a geode

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?grievous real so i can fuck him

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?hufflepuff

calendula; biggest pet peeve?specific but when im literally just sitting in the car and one of my parents goes “looks like SOMEONE has an attitude” like?? i was silently looking out the window

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?friends bc i love them so much

blazing star; share a secret.I DONT HAVE A FUCKEN SECRET

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?happier

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?bitch im too tired to answer this

bluebell; do you wear glasses?no

nymphea; forest or river?river

orchid; do you like exercise?HFDJKSFNDKJSDFNFK WHO TF DO I LOOK LIKE.

pansy; do you like poetry?FUCK poetry

morning glory; any special talent that you have?i can do a good swedish chef impression