#literally just became mutual on ig lmao

[lonely-night]

a person I literally just met 2 days ago during that table tennis competition and she already asked my sexuality and came out to me at the same time ... I mean GURL WE JUST MET sjdhdhjddk

gen z scares me so much but still I'm glad they're so open about themselves and being queer is like no big deal so yeah good for them

[cleromancy]

this is the dumbest fucking post ive ever seen

first of all. you got dick and jason mixed up bro.

[miralyk]

love the drawings you've been making for desmond and alex, what's ghosts in the machine? first i see them crawling out of your screen and now everyone's angels devils or monsters, i don't know if i'm missing something!

ah man, think it's time to try to summarize everything and apologize LMAO;; ty for asking though, i should've made things less confusing! this will be a Pretty lengthy post for irl context/backstory and "actual au" info so be ready if you want to read everything!

(for starters, the title's just a pun on the philosophical phrase "ghost in the machine" interpreted Literally and taking inspiration from clay in ac revelations, since he Was a ghost in a machine and jokingly called "my guardian angel" by des, haha)

the short version: basically, "ghosts in the machine" is what i've called the au(?) where i just doodle silly "artist talking to her art muse(s)" stuff like these kinds of comics instead w me,, the ""art muse"" is whatever i'm hyperfixated on (currently desmond, the assassin brotherhood as a whole, and alex/prototype lmao):

the Full LONG version: when replaying prototype and ac awhile back, i also posted fanart on LOFTER (china’s local version of tumblr) and made a mainlander mutual/friend who drew fanart too, like her oc w the assassins in an animal shapeshifter 刺客信条乙女向 (assassin’s creed otome) au! as i’m vietnamese-american and she’s chinese, we use translators and send pictures/doodles to talk about the games and our days, and when i was replaying prototype, she started ac2 too and sent me this as commentary:

from there, whenever we’d text or send pics/art, it became a running joke of sorts to also include our ""game companions"" like that fanfiction thing of “author’s note where the author and fictional characters comment on the situation and/or talk to each other”, and my doodles also became us or our computers being accompanied by them LMAO;; that’s pretty much the origin and setting of the particular doodles; just the daily shenanigans and art struggles of an artist (me and her) talking to their art muses (characters from special interests) haunting them and their computers

as for the "supernatural" aspects, at some point desmond and alex got drawn an as angel and devil because i’ve had ridiculous “protected by a guardian angel” luck lately like surviving a car crash unharmed, they’re my favorites and associated with me, the motifs match the duo, etc, it's not really that deep and/or for a "Lore Reason";;

likewise, the brotherhood got drawn as ghosts to emphasize the “we/our computers are haunted by them” joke more, along with how my friend and i are both asian and used to like ghosts and ancestral worship casually being a part of our lives already LMAO (ig in the context of the au then, they’re basically desmond’s ancestral spirits disney-mulan-style that freeload off of his vietnamese protectee (me) for both spiritual veneration or "worship" like staying relevant in this modern age via fanart)

for example, i'm also considering drawing like altair, ezio, connor, and edward as the vietnamese four holy beasts just to play around, things like that! there's no special lore reason aside from just personal thoughts and "oh that'd be fun to draw", they just thematically fit well being four prominent “legends” and being desmond's ancestors, etc,, haha

at the end of the day, "ghosts in the machine" are just silly shenanigans of me drawing what's on my mind, from who/what i'm hyperfixated on (aka impromptu art muses for me), any thoughts/frustrations i have w daily life or drawing stuff,, and "hm this sounds cool, i could draw this design or Cool Thing" stuff. it's not really an au persay (plus i still really cringe and feel self-consciously wary about the embarrassing self-insert aspect of all this, help lmao), it’s just,, just silly personal scribblings that are kind of sharing an inside joke to everyone now, but i'm happy to know people still humor these silly drawings and are curious if there's more to it, thank you!

[crispy0nion]

Spill the tea

with pleasure. btw this is gonna contain slight mentions of me being a depressed fuck a few years ago. also it's kinda long

ok so, about four years ago during my first year of hs, i met this guy in my class, he was a little shit but we instantly clicked. immediately became best friends, dude basically lived in my house lmao. we went on vacation together that summer, and we had a blast. literally one of the best summers of my life i had sm fun.

second year of hs starts, and suddenly he's not talking to me or any of our friends anymore. literally just ignores us and hangs out with some other guys from our class instead. weird asf, but he was being a real dick so me and my friends quickly dropped the thing and opted for mutual disinterest.

i have no idea how or why, but near the end of the year one of our friends managed to talk with him, and he completely switches up. now he's talking to everyone like nothing happened.

except for me.

he's not talking to me. actually he is actively ignoring my existence. "what an asshole" you'll say. "so did your friends say anything, maybe drop him for acting like that?" lmao. please.

this guy used to be a loser btw. scrawny little guy who would only talk about anime. then after this year of ignoring us, he had suddenly turned into this cool, unbothered guy who will destroy your self confidence in 0.5 seconds if he doesnt like your vibe, but he does so in a " i'm effortlessly funny" way. basically, he's infuriating if you're not his friend. which apparently i wasn't anymore??

so anyways, the point is he's got everyone bouncing on his dick. classmates swarm him like flies to a lamp. he's the coolest guy around, he's so funny. that includes my friends btw. so i spend the third year of highschool feeling like no one actually wanted me around, cause they had him. but i was clinically depressed and i knew that i couldn't handle any more drama, so i said nothing and tried acting like nothing happened, ngl it was pretty pathetic looking back 💀

the thing kinda peaks when we decide to go on a trip together during the summer. that was so shitty bro i wanted to walk in traffic i genuinely felt like they would be having i better time without me there.

but anyways, i survive that somehow. that was early in the summer, i use the rest of it to work of my mental health and by the time my fourth year starts i was doing much better. my friends also stopped being assholes lmao, i suspect they heard me when during the vacation i cried to my mom on the phone for two hours and they felt bad but uhm. regardless. dude was still pretending i didnt exist.

good for him ig. i decide i've been pathetic enough and just start ignoring him the same way he ignored me. the mutual ignoring goes great, i'm doing much better. near the end of the year me and my friends (The Guy wasn't there) get drunk as shit and i decide to bring up this issue. i get some feedback from my friends: one of them tried asking him what happened between us and he answered "go fuck yourself". cool. another person thinks he has a crush on me and is shit at managing it. fair guess but it's an asshole move. someone else says maybe i accidentally hurt him. also a good guess, but i didn't do anything, and if i did, i didn't do it on purpose and he should've said something. overall, we're all confused.

school year ends, we organize another trip. i'm stressed as fuck. then on the first evening, he asks if someone can put his powerbank in their bag cause he doesnt have one, and i offer mine since i was the only one with extra space.

and i guess i broke his brain, because now he's talking to me like the previous two years never happened. which is. wild.

but i decide to be nice and cool about it and go along with it. we're civil to eachother. dare i say he acts weirdly friendly sometimes, which was actually genuinely shocking for me. he literally split his food with me of his own volition. TWO TIMES. wtf???? i also dont get marginalized this time!! i had the best time of my life actually!! my bed almost caught fire but that's a completely different story.

so uhm. i spend the remaining month and a half of summer wondering if he's still gonna be like this when school starts? cause if i know one thing, it's that he might change his mind for no reason.

the answer is no btw. it's like the trip never happened. today was our fifth day and the only time we talked this entire week was when i asked him something about class and he answered LOOKING AT THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. AS IF THAT GUY HAD ASKED THE QUESTION AND NOT ME??

he and the rest of my friends (except for one who wasn't available) are hanging out rn btw. they went to the cinema. "why are you saying they and not us" cuz i didn't get a fucking invite lmao. we're back at the start babeyyyy im going to walk into the sea.

anyways that's the drama. i left out a LOT of details to avoid making a kilometric post but uhm. opinions? do y'all think he got dropped on his head as a child? cause i know i was but i'm not this much of a crazy asshole.

[cranberrv]

i think it’s finally time to fill u guys in on my roster LOL.. be prepared for blood sweat and tears

geography:

his name is geography cuz i met him in geo class for the first time! he looks like a skinny matt dillon w lighter hair, and he’s literally 6’1”. i used to like him sososooso much and when we sat together in a desk change i went feral!!!1! he’s sooo funny and i lowk miss when he was normal cuz he used to be so cute and awkward but now he’s so weird and immature ughhh. he asked me out last semester and i said no and i kinda regret it but idk i wanna like him so bad cuz i literally liked him FIRST but ig hes more like a friend. we argue a lot (teasingly) and its sooo obvious hes flirting with me and its so cute but i dont know.. maybe high school sweethearts maybe not (bye pov him to our future kid “ya ur mom liked me first then rejected me and then hated me and now likes me again and we r married and we had you”)

riverdale:

hehehehe hes so cute! he is blonde and goes to the school im transferring to and hes totes my type! (but then again my type is toxic red flags) we snap a lot and i quickadded him (whoops) but ive had my eye on his forever because his pfp on tiktok is so cute and we have mutual friends and i have been waiting for him to appear on my quickadd for forever! he wants me to move to the new school and thats sweet and he apologized for losing our 50 day streak :((( he was like “whoops mb” and i was like “abt what lmao” and he said “for losing our streak!” like awwwhhh u care! hes lowk depressed (i stalked his reposts) and he doesnt do super well in school but i can help him! hes my moms fave boy

mickey mouse:

i added him as a joke cuz hes only a couple years older than me and hes related to a celeb i like and i found his snap and he added me back and we’re snapping me full face and stuff. hes SO cute and i only just met him but he seems so sweet i stalked his insta

jeremiah:

dw thats not his actual name its an inside joke! anyway the way i describe this is gonna sound like true love but i swear its not hehehe <3 ive known him since gr6 and we instantly clicked on a canoe trip and got along sooo well, talking to him for the first time is a core memory. we were homeschooled together during the pandemic and we started liking each other and it was middle school so it was obvs so innocent and adorable! he got me flowers and chocolate for secret santa when we were 12 :(( i lost feelings but he liked me for a whole year after and i promised we would date in high school and now its high school and i broke my promise. i feel bad lowkkk.. but anyway i heard me might like me again! we have been kind of distant recently because he became one of the “cool kids” and i became one of the “popular girls” so ig we’ re in super similar and close circles but idk we never talk. i ran into him at the gas station and hes still so cute tho

person d:

thats who i left jeremiah for LMFAOO we met in gr7 and he was in gr8 and i was instantly head over heels, he has a big nose and dusty brown hair and brown eyes and hes so cute awww :(( we barely talked in middle school but then we added each other and started full on talking! he was soooo sweet but he had his days when he was kind of a jerk. we argued a lot and i think he thought it was teasing each other but it does get a bit tiring. we stopped talking for a bit but were kind of back again, its so off and on. when its good its so good.

[ace-up-your-sleeve]

How did you get a girlfriend and boyfriend? Are they online relationships? Any advice for us looking?

im probably not a good person to ask abt this bc all of my romantic experiences are way out of the normal el em ay oh

ok, so my gf was, and still is, my best friend irl. the story of how we started dating is wild bc she had a crush on me literally before we became friends. by like. a few years 💀 and when we became friends i was dating a guy (not my the boyfriend you mentioned) and we started like catching feelings for each other which. was interesting. her mom did not like me for this lmao. but i ended up breaking up w that guy bc he was shitty, and started dating my current girlfriend about 2 months later.

as for my current boyfriend, who im not even sure what our relationship status is right now bc it is also being shitty (ig i have a thing for long distance relationships w guys that treat me shitty lol) but we are like. dating online lmao. i met it on tumblr, and literally told it i liked it by vague posting abt crushing on a mutual 💀 its blog has since been deleted for personal reasons but yeah

i have not had the greatest luck with relationships and im famously bad at them lol. i've literally only dated the 3 ppl mentioned in this post and i only actually asked them out after knowing completely certain that they like me back 💀💀

as for advice, just be open to different things ig? i never would have thought id date a guy who lives in a whole other hemisphere, but here we are. also, generally in dating, be firm about your boundaries. i know thats really hard, im not very good at it, but dont let your partner(s) walk all over you. if they care about you they will respect your boundaries.

sorry, like i said, im not an expert in this! good luck tho!!!

[oopsybangsy]

TO THIS BOY THAT I HAVE LOVED BEFORE.

I can’t believe I am writing this but here I am.

Today is December 26, 2022, 10:39 pm. I just got my late dinner because I was hungry. I cooked eggs and instant noodles since it’s the only meal that I can cook for now. Anyways, it’s been 2 days since I last talked to him. He told me to call me when I woke up the next day but there was a power interruption here at home due to heavy rains and flood. Our house wasn’t flooded though, fortunately. And during these late nights, I kept wondering if in those 2 days that I was off the grid, did he even bothered messaging me on Instagram? There’s this 3 day rule that I have read about. Its when you talk to someone consistently and see if that person asks about you when you went missing for 3 days- or something like that. IDK WHY DO I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM. I am just writing this entry because I am such a hopeless romantic or am I just hanging on the fact that he talked to me again after many years because recently he broke up with his girlfriend- a news in which I am most delighted to hear, lmao. And I am also writing this to document the signs that he is not into me.

We started talking late 2018 when he messaged me on facebook about a mutual friend who is also in NYC. I was shocked to see him messaging me first because he was already an apple of my eye before we were even talking on facebook. He used to video call me a lot during his free time at work. It was a 13-hour time difference from here to there but we made time to talk- we really did. I talk to a lot of boys on my messenger that time since facebook was most popular among teenagers, as a matter of fact, Filipinos are the most active users in facebook according to an article I have read somewhere. To cut the story short, we talked consistently and eventually I became attached to him. The notifications on my phone were all about his messages, snaps, facebook posts etc. I gotta admit I was infatuated with him because I am stupid. Stupid enough to crush on someone just because he talks to me online consistently. I get so annoyed and embarrassed on how I jokingly confessed my feelings to him on facebook but now that I reminisced at that memory, it was funny and it was also a great lesson to me, waking me up to reality.

Character development

That incident was essential for me to learn from my mistake. I know that he was just talking to me because he misses home and our friends here and I happened to be available always at his beck and call. I was just assuming things, over thinking and expecting things that I should have never done. The bottom line is it was not his fault entirely because I understand now how much he needed a friend at that time when he was in a foreign country with no close friends to talk to yet. And then he found a girl friend there, posting all their pics all over his Instagram. What an eye sore right? Lol, I was just being jealous hahaha but I am no match for her since she was the one who is literally there hugging him, spending time with him and they are both in the same time zone. Ever since then, we never really talked anywhere on social media. Last 2019 he greeted me on my birthday and that was just it.

NOW just last November 2022 I have heard he was single again and according to him it was just last october when he decided to break up with her. And yes, we video called again last dec 24. We were already talking last dec in which he replied to my story in IG and I know he was flirting with me or idk but whatever he really did. It was just a harmless chat but all my assumptions are haunting me again but I think I am already seeing the signs that he is not into me really. He wants us to hang out when he goes home this April,yes he is finally going home from America. At first, yes I was excited to see him in person but as the days go by I don’t know. I hate myself for thinking ahead of thing when he just recently decided to talk to me because after he replied to my story and I replied back, he never messaged me again. Hahahaha god, what a dumbass. I am also a dumbass for messaging him first after a few days just because I had the courage thanks to that shot of tequila. I never regretted that decision because we decided to talked again in social media. I really need to get a grip of reality because I keep getting worried when he doesn’t answer his phone immediately which is annoying because I kept wondering what is he up to at work or school. I hate myself for expecting an update from him when he is literally not obliged to do so. First of all, I am not his girlfriend. He told me once that he got sick of his gf since they do not have the same level of maturity, ignored her texts and broke up with her. Toxic right? But who am I to judge, whatever it was that happened during that relationship on why it did not work out is not my business. But he is kind of a red flag to me but you know, I chose to be a color blind lmao. What assurance do I have that he would treat me way better than his ex when I am miles away, and he hasn’t really told me if he likes me and I am not really sure if really do like him sincerely or I just like him because he has an American passport? What assurance do I have that he would make a long-distance relationship work when he fucked up his relationship with his ex whose literally an arms-reach to him?

I should just go with the flow and stop assuming things or expecting literally anything to him to avoid frustrations and emotional damage because it’s a waste of time to gamble myself anymore. I am so tired of letting guys treat me like an idiot. But I can be if a guy is cute enough. Ahhaha kidding! Whatever it is that will happen, I am really seeing signs that he deserves to be a tropa rather than a jowa. Nakaya gani nako na wala siya, I don’t need him nor rely my entertainment on that dumbass. Whatever it is that happened all of that will pass and this will be a memory and a lesson learned. Take a chill pill and there’s no way akoy maghilak aning kahimtanga hahahahha bye!!!!!!!!!!!

[jasperwhitcock]

the rules: tag five or more people that you are thankful for in your 2020, that you're thankful exists in a world that's hard to live in. whether that be through random reblogs on your posts, or people you have had full blown conversations with. whether it's just seeing them in your dash, or interacting with them.

here to be gross again & catch up on another tag game *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tagged by the angel that is kate @leahclearwaterdefensesquad

i love talking to u all everyday hehehe y’all saved my 2020

@inthemiddleofmymidnight i love u sm kimmie. my first friend on here. 🥺 i am giggling thinking of how shy we were... can u believe we’ve been bffs for like ten months... how is that possible?? i’ve literally already poured my heart out to u like 5 times this month so imma just keep it as ilysm. u literally bring me joy

@bellaskhakis neighana 🐎 ilysm!! i love having u in my life. it’s like we’ve been friends forever. i’m lucky to have u to always keep me humble 😩 hehe i’m kidding but also to give me advice or just to listen or be there. ur wonderful & i can’t imagine this year without u

@the-golden-onion mads... ew i’m laughing at myself... the way literally every speech i’m making sounds like the most basic speech made at a wedding... i’m being SINCERE here it’s not my fault i love all of u 😭 ok but mads i ADORE u. u keep saying how we’re a light in ur life but ur for real a light in our lives. i love having someone i have so much in common w that i can freak out abt acnh or pll or harry potter or twilight or mythical creatures or cute animals or writing fanfics or WHATEVER. my life is sooo much better w u in it. i’m obsessed w u

@howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen emma EWWW not me TEARING up ew make it STOP! emma thank u sm for the absolutely like relentless positivity and love and support u give all of us. the way u choose kindness and optimism is literally inspiring. ur the most caring, sincere, sweetest person in the world & all of our lives are severely improved having u around. ur like our sister

@bellasredchevy kae i admire u SO much. i eat up anything u post or anything u say... ik i’ve said it before and i think it sounds like mega cheesy but i think u just carry urself w such grace & wisdom (im embarrassed to say this when like our relationship is founded on a mutual love of TWILIGHT like tf sdhfdjfhfj) but i rlly just think ur so smart and compassionate and so u have the BEST takes & it really reflects on how u view the world and i just appreciate the expectations u have for how people treat each other (again this sounds SOO weird LMAO) i love u ur literally a part of the reason i joined the renaissance

@teamjacobthot dij i love the energy u bring into my life. ur always honest and blunt and hilarious and understanding and i feel like u just see things for what they are which is refreshing considering i’m someone who overcomplicates things. ur so beautiful & talented & just the coolest. i just thought abt u saying “is this let it go” like 2 minutes into frozen and i’m dead 😭 ilysm and also keep forgetting to tell u but jesy leaving has plunged me right back into another little mix lewis and i am sooooo sad

@cullen-collective ok i just had a moment of panic bc thinking abt u singing reminded me that the ratatouille musical is STREAMING RN LIVE AND I FORGOT but anyways. kaity i keep saying it but ur voice has BLESSED our lives. grateful for all the beautiful singing snaps & also the snaps where ur just telling stories bc i love listening to u talk hehehe. ur the sweetest and so funny & i love ur passion

@paulxlahotee i LOOOOVE u i’m so obsessed w ur TALENT & i admire u soooo much. ur literal JOY and i am so happy that the four l*ko did not make u d word... at least i hope so... has anybody heard from michele today??? she still w us? 😩 ur beautiful and hilarious i’m so lucky to know u!!!

@kaquiche taryn ILYSM ur literally the first person i remember interacting w my blog... it’s been u & me from the beginning baby 😩 u make me laugh so much and i love that ur always down to clown. ur just so supportive and silly and cute and i love u ok all of my messages are sounding like i am dr*nk i just love y’all ok leave me alone. also i didn't even see ur message abt zoom last night and now i feel sad that we all abandoned u. i spent my near year w u in spirit

@phil-dwyer-stan-account addison my dream in life is literally to hang out w u and go to the hello kitty cafe and disneyland and to skip in a big field of wildflowers in cute dresses. i love u!!! ur a cute sweet hardworking angel who deserves soooo much!!

@volturialice g once again... i am truly ur FAN i’m a volturialice STAN. ur one of my absolute FAVE blogs. i think ur genius & feel ~honored~ to be friends hehehe

@anagonyeet / @sethrights ama i love u so much i’m truly so grateful we became friends!! i’m so happy we’ve kept contact bc ur the sweetest, most supportive, and caring friend. i can’t believe u show up to support all my endeavors sdfhdghjkf. my fave follower on my animal crossing ig account hehehe

@leahclearwaterdefensesquad kate thank u for the tag!! ur so wonderful & i so appreciate all the leah content & that u think of me so often for tag games!! ily

and a thank u & i love u to all the blogs that are sweet friends of mine or post content i love & admire – @kellythepitiablefangirl (ur so talented... i adore ur art) @iknowyouloveme-thanks (u consistently make me laugh w ur posts) @renegadepack (thank u for the wolf pack content & also ur resource post... i’ve linked it a million times) @edwardsvirginity (another blog that made me join the renaissance bc i loved their posts) @edytheelizabethcullen (the SWEETEST angel ilysm) @rosaalee (ur moodboards are everything) @bellas-dumptruck-ass (funny & lovely & the best url) @emmettmc-heart-y (the KINDEST soul) @carllisle (happy every time i see ur url in my noties) @notquitetwilight (current god of the renaissance) @panlight (the funniest... thankful for keeping up w the cullens every day) @cockmcstuffins (the most iconic) @influenzabella (an absolute cutie) @witchyangela (elle is also an angel who provides the wolfpack content that we need) @angelasglasses (a sweetheart)

& all my moots!! i wish u all the happiest 2021 ♡♡♡

[usertoxicyaoi]

knowing this is win’s first series and both him and bright can play off of each others acting so well rly hits different i cannot believe the chemistry they have to be able to do that

hiii anon!!! right?! they ... literally bounce off each other. and icb there were people out there doubting them 2 and if whether they both had enough, or any, chemistry between them at all in order to be able to pull it off playing tine and sarawat.

and i look at brightwin now .......................... and they OOZE chemistry in the way that 2 best best best friends do. and its really a testament to how slowly they got to know one another.

idk if i’ve ever mentioned how they began. but. okay so. gmm hold this annual outing every year, where everyone in the company goes out and just ... has a weekend off, ya know? so. back in february 2019 last year, win already knew at that point that he was gonna be in 2gether and bright was gonna be his co-star. bright only knew that he was gonna be in 2gether, but he had NO idea who his co-star was. all he knew was that his name was win, but he didn’t know that win was gonna be cast as his romantic love interest? so. win went up to bright, lmao, and greeted him, and he even says just how SCARED he was at meeting bright for the first time bc bright seemed SO SO intimidating to him, even tho he was vaguely familiar with bright bc a senior friend of his was friends with bright, and win had seen bright on this mutual friend’s ig from way back in 2014. so he knew who bright was, name to face wise, but meeting bright was a Whole Ordeal for him, bc ....... lmaoooo ..... bright saw win, looked him up to down head to toe, asked him “you’re win, right?”, and win was like “yeah i’m win.”. bright went, “hmmmm.” and then he walked away with his toe laew squad (it’s a travel show he was hosting with a few people including gunsmile and first), and left win.

then, fast forward to october/november 2019, and they had to do these workshops, like all actors have to do. and bright says that thats when his heart really warmed up to win, bc he saw just how dedicated win was and how serious he was about this. like, with the weight loss, and then win would always text bright saying “p’! i’m free, if you wanna spend time together to go over scripts or book in an extra workshop, then we can!”. and bright was like, thats when ... yeah, he really really became so fond of win. and then as time went on they both really really began properly hanging out with one another, bc they share similar hobbies like playing football or boxing, or win usually goes over and stays over at bright’s condo where they play fifa and stuff.

so yeah, they just ..... became such good friends! and then win went and surprised bright with a cake on his birthday that he had delivered on set bc win wasn’t shooting that day, and then bright video called him and told him he wanted him to come and deliver it to him bc its the first time ever that a guy gifted him a cake on his birthday! they just ....... yeah, became such good friends that joke around and tease each other relentlessly but they’re so so fond of each other.

and bright’s a huge introvert, and he says that he can only ever speak comfortably to people if he’s extremely close to them, and if you see in any interview or livestream, bright just ... Talks. So Much. and win is more passive and lets bright talk. and bright is always so .... !!!!! adamant that he makes sure he always tells people to hype win up too, not just him bc he loves his lil nong so much and wants the best for him too!

and they’ve both literally hinted that there’s a lot of stuff coming up for them both together long term, so they’re not going anywhere just yet. and its so nice that they both found one another and have one another bc everytime something has happened, they both straight away respond to one another and make sure the other is okay and support them.

and alllllllllll that chemistry gets so WELL translated on screen, with just how COMFORTABLE and OPEN they both are. they bounce off one another SO well that they can improvise just about ANY situation, and that takes v v v good understanding and chemistry in order for it work every single time. they’re not awkward at all. and icb there were people that said they’re Too Straight To Play A BL Couple. what does that even mean. like ........................ have yall SEEN brightwin these last few months? they OOZE chemistry! they wild out and talk about how much they love each others lips (win) and back (bright) and how handsome they both find one another so much so that literally interviewers sometimes just look at them like O.O okay lmao ...... but no oh man. I LOVE THEM. we are honestly SO SO BLESSED that we got brightwin for sarawatine. couldn’t have asked for anyone better than those 2.  

[darth-does-stuff]

its ramble time. also yeah this is gonna be p long (hence the word - rambles) and prob talking a lot about patton and janus because i havent talked about them much and i have IDEAS

(also i know i want remy to be involved somehow but i havent figured out how yet. suggestions welcome ghjghjgs)

so thomas and logan are elves, roman remus and virgil are magic users (witches warlocks wizards whatever the word is lmao), remus specializes in wind magic, roman in fire, and virgil in weather. 

the magic virgil uses is often called chaos magic and in order for something to be generally classified as chaos magic, it needs to be unusual/rare, chaotic (duh) or unpredictable, and destructive. (these classifications might change as i think on them more). wind magic is largely argued upon whether it is chaos magic or not, seeing as how it is largely unpredictable and can be seen as destructive, but it doesnt fit the bill with the first one, leading to the arguments. same with fire magic, but they said it was too common for it to be chaos magic. virgil having weather magic means that he can create storms, sandstorms, generate lightning, windstorms, and also able to control (or rather ‘bend’) rain. of course, there are drawbacks and limitations, adding to the fact that virgil has a very hard time controlling his magic and harnessing it, he is not op dw. magic is also very much tied to emotions btw

also ro re and vee have two moms and they are a lesbian couple sorry i dont make the rules

elven lore and shit time - while gold is rare in many places in the fantasy land (i still have yet to decide on a name), in the elven land (i have not decided names for each section either lmao) iron and steel are actually harder to find than gold. gold still holds its own worth, but iron and steel are generally regarded as superior in worth than gold, which is why many nobles possess the material. and ive already explained the left eye crest thing with the elves, their left eye has a shape or crest to it along with a color that glows slightly. the glow can be dimmer or brighter depending on their emotions at the time. logan has a diamond shape to his left eye and a leaf green glow to it, which also happens to be his eye color as well. thomas’ is a heart and rainbow color and glow, while his actual eye color is an almond brown. ill discuss appearances in another post btw. anyways, the elven lifestyle is the most similar to humans, having a battleschool, its system nd shit, etc. although it does differ in terms of ‘rulers’. the humans have a monarchy while the elves rule through a council of 9. (an odd number so there arent any ties) logan uses both a sword and a bow as his weapons of choice. thomas was forced to go to battleschool so he basically just dips as soon as he can after teaching logan what he knows and becomes a healer because HEALER THOMAS 

PATTON AND JANUS TIME PATTON AND JANUS TIME PATTON AND JA

 patton is one of the merfolk, who (in this au) are a species that have two forms. their mer form, where the lower half of them is the mer tail fish tail what the fuck is it called. anyways the color of pattons tail (wtf is it dude) is a desaturated light blue. he has these like ??? spikes?? is that the word? jutting out from his forearms. (at the very least pointy things) and he will not hesitate to use them as weapons. yeah he’s a feral boy. he has some spots of scales on his upper body but they are pretty scarce. in his human form, he just looks like a human i dunno what you expected lmao. in the water his eyes are a really potent blue while on land they are much duller. he can also breathe underwater regardless of the form. patton also cant really will himself to either form, if he wants to be human form he has to be on land and vice versa for the mer form.

janus is a fucking uh,, dude idk the word for it. i guess the general word for it would be dragon but he’s more humanoid than dragon. a cross between the two ig. anyways he has scales on one side of his face, scaly wings because fuck yeah, horns jutting out from his forehead, and more shit that i have forgotten but i know he has it. the scales are a golden color, with warm yellows and light oranges mixed in. left eye has a dragon pupil type thing, like a slitted pupil. fuck i hate describing things ghdgakhgask. im playing around with the idea that dragons can shapeshift but nothing is set in stone with that tbh. most dragon folk are like janus, a mix between dragon and human, and only the really powerful ones are the ones that can actually turn into dragons so thats pretty rare. but fuck descriptions its time for fucking FRIENDSHIP and FAMILY

janus has a little brother whose name is emile and they are 6 and actually pretty shy. it took them a while to warm up to patton but now he literally loves pat and everytime he sees them he bolts over and just gives him a huge hug. patton tries to act all tough but he is so soft for emile there is no denying it and they all know it. jan and emile have an agender parent and a genderfluid parent. agender parent uses xe/xem btw. 

patton has a mother and never knew his father. he and his mother have a rather,,, distant relationship i suppose. his mother is in the royal guard so she is called away often (though it does not excuse the neglect in the slightest) her and pat just mutually acknowledge that they both exist and go about their day. one day pat confessed to jan that he never really felt that they were his mom, more just a person who birthed him. one time in a particular bout of drowsiness, patton confessed that janus and his family were the ones that he truly considered family. janus got choked up and was like ‘shut up you bastard im supposed to be tough /pos’ 

the first time janus showed him how he could get rid of the dragon aspects of himself for a limited time, patton literally took one look at his human form and shouted ‘what the FUCK’ and janus was like ‘IVE SEEN YOU CHANGE FORM BEFORE WHATS YOUR DEAL’ and patton just screams ‘THIS IS FUCKIN WEIRD’ (all /lh) janus and patton get up to so many shenanigans its a wonder they havent gotten caught yet lmao

patton, once again in sleep deprivation cause thats the only fuckin time he’ll confess anything about his emotions, told janus that he was his first friend and that he was so scared to mess it up when they first became friends. he’d spent most of his life alone and always in this state of just,,, perpetual anger, bubbling right underneath the surface with no way to escape. it led to him getting in a lot of fights and just lashing out, especially at people who tried to become his friend, scaring them away. when janus came along and stayed, he said it was the best thing that ever happened to him. he finally had a friend. even when he lashed out and retreated back into himself, putting up those walls again, janus still stayed. he helped break those walls down bit by bit, helped patton with his anger issues, helped patton realize that janus was here to stay, and that he wasnt leaving.

if you cant tell, i love them sm ghdgaskgjs

[erizee]

ok so since tma is over i can finally say everything abt all seasons so here are my opinions abt the tma seasons ig

basically i love angst

its also 3am so do with that what you want

best statememts: season 1

s1 has the scariest statements, especially since the first time u listen to it u dont have any info on wtf is going on yet. once the Lore comes in everything starts to make sense and i love that but it Does make it less scary for me

and i mean. the anatomy class?? jane prentiss' statememt?? lost johns' cave??? those are some A+ statements

could also be in part bc in later seasons i paid attention to the meta story wayyy more (since theres just more of it) and the statements just kind of became a background thing for me later on

some statements in s5 are also REALLY good though, especially the spiral doctor david, the plague village, the meat garden and the one with gertrude and gerry

best meta story: season 3

this is sooo hard

i love all of their meta stories too much to decide completely

but i had to choose 😔

i just love how in s3 you start to piece things together and jon is getting superpowers and hhhh its just so fucking good

theres just. some real connections between the statements and jon meets avatars and elias' bullshit gets a Little bit revealed and then u get gerry's info and you THINK you have it all together but you really DONT

theres more i could say but it all ties into the other categories so ill put it there instead

best character interaction: season 3/5

this is a full tie i canNot choose that

both of them have rly nice interactions with The Team but ALSO v nice interactions with avatars, which the rest of the seasons dont have that much

for the Team, they never Really do full teamwork ever but i think in s3 they got the closest to it, especially after the elias confrontation with everyone. especially the parts with tim and jon but also everything about melanie's & daisy's interactions with jon is just. chefs kiss.

and in s5 obviously jon & martin interact with everyone on The Team thats still alive (which it Should since its the last season tbh) and its just so nice that after s4 they were all talking and being rational abt things. love that.

and with the avatars, s3 is i think the first to introduce them as more than Those Weird Evil/Monster people since jon is becoming literally one of them. and theres sooo many cool interactions, i mean jude, mike crew, nikola, michael, daisy again, etc etc its just so fucking cool

and again same goes for s5, they interact with avatars and talk to them like theyre extremely fucked up people but still people and its soo cool. in the earlier parts of the season its also cool to see jon literally distance himself from the avatars again by killing them (only to fail by becoming to pupil oof).

i think with that i might rank s3 a bit higher than s5 actually, just because i loooove the angst of jon talking to these people he thought were monsters before thinking hes becoming like them. im SO here for the angst lmao

best jonmartin: season four

yess s5 had the most Actual canon jonmartin and it has them working through problems together and being in love but like. im always a slut for mutual pining and angst

i literally stop reading fanfics once the characters get together sometimes lmao

i also love the jonmartin in s5 but u know. Pining.

there was also some in s3 & before but yea jon had other things to do so it was less Big

best angst: season fourrrrrr

i knowwwww martin Literally kills jon in s5 and yes it did make me cry. BUT.

one of my ABSOLUTE favourite tropes in any media whatsoever is betrayal. any kind of it (except cheating that just sucks). i love it when characters go evil. i love it when they do sth fucked up they shouldnt have. and i ESPECIALLY love the way other characters react to it

i mean theres a reason why hannibal is one of my favourite shows (& why 6x20 is my favourite spn episode but shh)

and s4 has soooo much of that.

i dont rly get the story of s4 tbh its mostly just dealing w the end of s3 for me and thats not doing much for me tbh idk

and i feel so bad for jon because he was literally manipulated into everything but FUCK all those scenes where he has to confront What hes become, and especially the episode with the statement from the woman he met irl and took a statement from.

it hurts but its SO good

im very very glad all that was resolved and apologized for and everything, that actually kind of makes the actual season even better for me since i know its temporary but its still ANGST

best lore: season 3/5

another tie 😔 cant decide between worldbuilding lore and monster lore

s3 definitely has the most worldbuilding lore with all the avatars and rituals and all that. i mean gerry literally gives so much lore in his episode i cant ignore that

its just so nice after so many episodes to FINALLY get some actual information

but also s5 has lore on the actual fears behind the stuff that got explained in s3 so thats ALSO a thing.

i just. cannot decide lmao

FINAL RANKING

season 3. best meta story, best lore & best character interaction. just. yea this one is my favourite

season 4. best angst & best jonmartin. i can barely remember the meta story for that season, i dont think there was rly one outside of dealing w the end of s3? but the angst & jonmartin easily make up for that

season 5. best lore & characters + one of best statement seasons. i didnt add that category but also immaculate vibes. its lowkey tied with s4 too but Monster!Jon is just too good not to rank it in 2nd place

season 1. best statements and also immaculate vibes. this is 100% the scariest season and i rly like that abt it. it doesnt have much of a story yet which makes sense (no lighter for automatic tapes yet 😔) and theres less characters which means i cant put it much higher but when it Does happen its Great

season 2. its definitely good and the supplementals are hilarious but its not on the same level for me as the other seasons. maybe thats just me but i also feel like s2 should have introed jon becoming an avatar more since i already got spoiled but jon asking leitner if hes "one of them" still lowkey came out of the blue for me. plus his character changed so much to the beginning of s3 i was legit shocked to find out in ep 81 that jon was younger than 50 lmao. it IS still a v good season though!!!

[junityy]

TAG GAME !

thanks for the tag @wonciel <33

1. Why did you choose your url?

my (nick)name combined with kozume bc i love kenma <//3

2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why do you have them?

/

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

august 2020

4. Do you have a queue tag?

atm just q! but idk if i'm gonna change it

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

a friend and i weren't active on wattpad anymore and then she was on tumblr, a month later she asked me if i wanna make a blog here as well and,, here am i lmao. i didn't write anything at the start tho

6. Why did you choose your icon / pfp?

bc jeonghan became my 3rd seventeen bias and i am absolutely in love with him </3

7. Why did you choose your header?

i love the picture and i love kevin moon. that's literally it

8. What's your post with the most notes?

this one i think

9. How many mutuals do you have?

uhh i think about 10 but i'm not really sure rn

10. How many followers do you have?

174

11. How many people do you follow?

169

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

my blog consists of my shitposts so yes

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

way too often, i'm basically here like every hour pls

14. Did you have a fight / argument with another blog once? Who won?

/

15. How do you feel about 'you need to compare this' posts?

idk how to feel about them ig ://

16. Do you like tag games?

yess!

17. Do you like ask games?

i love ask games!!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

totally not lookin at @marleyterians rn 👁👁

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

not that i would know of LMAOSJSJ

20. Tags:

@s4ijohs @marleyterians @maizumis + anyone who wants to do it!!

[zoppzoop]

3 and 27:))

Hello ma'am! Ily and imy!!!! I hope you're doing good!!

03: Do you regret anything?

Seriously speaking, not getting studying done sooner because of procrastination. And also not having talked to my parents about architecture sooner. I literally started thinking about it seriously day before yesterday after talking to mom and dad. But ehh i just gotta study hared now.

And non-seriously, not taking the chance and going to the stationery with dad to buy stuff lmao

I went with mom and got just one fineliner pen.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Tbh yes and twice. Or maybe thrice? Four times??? idk if one of them was a hearbreak or actually just a prank.

Anyways buckle the fuck up we're in for a story time and this is gonna be a stupid ride

Okay, first the 'prank' (now that i think about it it was definitely not a prank). i was in the 7th grade and this one dude from my class came up to me while i was boarding the bus to go home and handed me a piece of paper. And im here confused as to what the f u c k? The dude was kinda like in the competition for the top rank in class (we were very competetive, there were like 5 of us) so i was just confused. I got in the bus and opened the paper. And it had a bunch of stuffs that i dint bother reading because the first thing my eyes landed on was 'will you be the annabeth to my percy?' And (yes i was a huge pjo fan that the time) i got out of the bus and literally yote the paper in the trash (cruel, yes i know. But listen. The dude used to tease me by literally shipping me with another classmate (thats also another story) and GOD that was so fucking ａｎｎｏｙｉｎｇso yes i was angry. And i legit didnt like any of the people in my class. All of them were just,,,, nah. Sobyea next day he asked me 'so?' And i said ',,,so what??' And he's like 'whats your reply?' And i straight up said 'uh i threw the paper' and he just turned around and left.

And then we became enemies-ish and literally fought hand-to-hand once (i was kicking so hand to foot i guess?) But ye that happened. And then a bunch of more stuff happened and by the time my dad was gonna get a promotional transfer to another place half the class became like one big group of friends and we became pretty good friends in the end.

Now lets talk about the dude who i got shipped with. I got teased for a whole year and like we were all pretty good friends right? So i didnt mind it in the beginning but then it got too overwhelming in the middle and it literally made me hate every single one of them. But then it got subdued and we decided we'll maybe date? And we didnt exactly say that out loud but he used to walk me to my bus (okay so the bus system at my old schoom was like a few buses were inside the campus and a few were outside. His was inside and mine out, so he used to walk me there. And then one day he said lets hold hands (and we did it was cute and we held hands and walked to my bus for like 2-3 days but then had to stop bc people started teasing us, we didnt end it on bitter terms btw. He used to have like taekwondo practice int he last period and we usually had english then so while going to the buses i used to give him my notes for the day.)

And like a few days later we realised that sure this is nice but he was gonna move schools soon and i legit wasnt that interested in relationships at the time so we 'ended' whatever that was. And on his last day when he dropped me off to my bus he asked me if i had a phone so we could keep in touch and i didnt have it so i said no and he was like 'hmm okay, bye take care' and left. And then his best friend stayed behind and jokingly said 'ah you broke his heart'

Yea okay two down two to go.

Third dude was in my bus and in my class and the friend group which was made up of half the class and wow i feel bad about everything w/ everyone now lmao

Anyways this was in 8th grade. So we were pretty good friends because we were in the same bus and class for the past 3 years now and considering my dad's profession thats a long time in the same place (its usually just one year) and ye so we were pretty close. Everyone in the bus used to olay team up games like charades and stuff

(ah shit i remember a fifth one in the colony damn i hate this)

Anyways number three, so we used to talk a lot. I'd gotten instagram by this time for art stuff so we talked there a lot. Like we sent each other memes and he got my weird and cursed meme shit and also got into anime and bts a bit to understand what the fuck i was saying. And he used to get teased because middle schoolers and junior highschoolers are stupid kids in those terms so ye there was a lot of teasibg which i tried to instantly shoot down because i didnt want a 7th grade repeat when there were chances of dad getting transfered soon coz i want good memories of the place y'know? So ye that happened. And i found out last year (in 11th grade and after dad got the transfer (i started 10th grade after the transfer) and apparently he got teased because he did actually like me and me shooting all that stuff down was literally just a rejection itself so that happened.

And number 4 was a similar thing but way more stressy because last year some random dude hit me up on Instagram and im here confused as to what the fuck? Ｗｈｏｍｓｔ？ and he says he's a friend of the first dude, second dude and the fourth dude (all of them are in the same coaching institute and 1,2 and 4 were also in my class in the past right. They were 3 of the 5 who were in the competition for top rank) and he legit says he wants to talk to the girl that two of his friends fought over and i'm like sir WHAT the Actual ＦＵＣＫ. because in the begining they were good friends in class right? And they had some unknown falling out and im like bitch literally WHAT the FUCK. So he brings up proof and shut because i didnt believe him and fuck off he also broght in another classmate who knew and im here losing my mind because the actual fuck you motherfuckers. Anyways apparently since i didnt like 4 back, he had his heart broken so eh. It was literally a 4 year old thing which those idiots were fighting over even now like dude the hell???

So ye that happened and a whole gc was made and shit was solved and cleared out blah blah freindship rebuilt yadda yadda bullcrap i got so tired by now that i literally am still kinda ignoring everyone rn. (half the reason why i deleted ig was because its distracting and half bc i wanna ignore them all lmao)

Anyways number 5 was in my colony and also in my bus when he used to go to the same school (he shifted to a boarding school later bc some stuff happened w his dad which is a whole another wild thing) and ooh he was also my neighbor! We used to go and play badminton in the clubhouse (literally all the kids of our age group and older used to go there. And after badminton when it was like 7:30 or 8 we used to just sit around in a circle and play truth or dare or red hands or kabbadi or literally anything we could think of. Fun times ngl.) So ye he was on a trip home on a long weekend i think and we ended up cycling around the colony, just us two hanging out. And we were talking and this one girl who he told me was his crush when he was still in school came up and he then told me that that was actually a codename thing he and his friend created and that was their codename for me and he also said he was over it now and i was just there completely shook because i honestly thought he hated me in the middle somewhere lmao. And he said he was just annoyed because another mutual friend of ours in the colony told him that i had a crush on this other guy like one house away from mine (my best friends house was in the middle lmao) (anyways that mutual frined the traitorous mf i truStEd her (actually i'd already confessed to the dude and got turned down i legit wasnt even that invested so it wasnt a big deal. I just wanted to kinda get done with this crush thing once and for all. He turned me down politely. He's a sweet guy he used to be there i the club after i was done with my coaching stuff around 7:30 and then us two played till like 9. It was nice) so ye he told me about his crush on me which lasted a few months??? and that he was over it and i also told him that i'd gotten the rejection from my crush a loooong time ago and he's like huh cool. and ye we kept cycling and talking ab more random stuff till it was time to head home .

ｗｈｅｗ ANYWAYS THERE WAS A LOT TO UNPACK HERE. Anyways- sjdvskdb thanks for the ask this was a wild ride down memory lane. I didnt even remember half the shit till it came down to it.

[bitterxweetencounters]

~5 months later~

Ok I lied. I’m not going to talk about my Japan trip in this post. Instead I’m going to provide an update on what’s been going on in my life for the past 5 months since my last post. Lol. 

Okaaaay. So we ended up having a second wave. Hahah..aha..hah. A very intense and overwhelming one, at that. There was a day I believe when the number of new covid cases reached almost 800? It happened around mid this year. I remember it being a really devastating and disappointing period of everyone’s lives. It would seem like the number of new cases would only get worse everyday. I would be so put off from watching the news or reading about anything related to covid ‘cause it would only make me depressed. 

Today is a notable day to write this post ‘cause today’s the first day, since this second wave started, that VIC reached 0 new cases and 0 new deaths. 4 stages of lockdown (plus an extension) later, we're finally here! Everyone up until this day had been feeling it - despair, restlessness, anger, hopelessness - at this lockdown that seemed would never end. But today we got the news that VIC will be re-opening again (1st stage) this Wednesday (it’s a Monday today), then even more on Nov 8. The glimmer of hope we’ve been waiting for, for literally months now. 

Now for the non-covid related updates. Lol. 

It’s tempting sometimes to overgeneralise 2020 as “the year wasted”. “Nothing happened this year” (besides covid of course). But there have been a few new things I’ve experienced this year which I think would be worth noting. And a few thoughts I’ve been having lately that I really need to deposit somewhere before I forget them. 

Ever since I became single early this year, I’ve received some interesting dm’s via Instagram. One of the first ones was from this guy from Canada, who sent me one of my posts via my DM then proceeded to comment “cute haha *monkey covering it’s mouth emoji*”. I got this message while I was showering, at like 3am, so it was pretty unexpected. This was the beginning of a very strange friendship (?) thing. Long story short, and around a month later, I found out him to be a very strange guy. He was cute, seemed like a catch at first. BUT he gave off major player vibes and also, he was basically 4-5 years younger than me, and didn’t live up to the maturity he claimed to have (emotional maturity mainly). He would make it seem like he was after a relationship with me sometime in the future but also kept implying that he wasn’t necessarily after a relationship right now, and just wanted to “go with the flow”. He was always complimenting me, always wanted to FaceTime everyday, and would sweet talk me with things that were nice to hear. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was bad news and wasn’t really serious about any of this (I even kept telling him I was thinking this). I should mention he was asking for a selfie and wanted to FaceTime from the very first conversation we had (after only exchanging a few messages). We didn’t even know each other yet?? Lmao. After a few weeks of talking to him I eventually caught him in a lie, and yeah. That was one of the biggest red flags. I had a weird feeling about him from the get go, but I guess I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt (and also what threw me off a lot is that he told me that he told his Mum about me - but I’ll never know if that was just a lie too). He also told me that he was going to visit here from Canada in August (it’s October now) and kept going on about how he wanted to spend a whole week out of the two weeks he was going to be here, with me, and how I’m so chill and fun to talk to that we would have so much fun spending time together. Lmaooo. He told me he’s dated a lot of older girls (I’m not sure if this is a fetish of his), but every time I asked him how many exes he’s had, it would always be a different number (which is hella sus ‘cause it seemed like he was lying then). He tried to do some weird sexual stuff as well which I never entertained and pretty much shut him down straight away whenever he tried. Not sure if he was just joking, but it was disturbing nonetheless. I won’t go into detail ‘cause this isn’t the place for it. It eventually got to a point where I was decided on the fact that I couldn’t take this guy seriously and didn’t want to waste both our time so I started replying less/later to his messages, basically friend-zoned him by calling him “man” and “dude”, and teased him about other girls saying that he had potential with them. I think he eventually got the hint ‘cause one day he just stopped texting me “good morning” everyday. Lol. But anyway, yeah that was more or less the main stuff about guy #1. 

Guy #2 was from London and it started with one of my girl friends messaging me and asking me if I was talking to someone at the moment. I said I wasn’t and she proceeded to tell me that one of her boyfriend’s friends found me really pretty and wanted to follow me on Instagram. She then sent me a few photos of him (screenshots from his IG account), asking if I would be interested (I felt like I was on a dating site for a moment lmao). While flattering, I remember thinking this was so bizarre. To be honest with you though the guy wasn’t my type (looks-wise). My friend said he was “a real sweetheart”. Even though he wasn’t my type, I gave it a chance and told her that I don’t mind him following me. We both agreed that the guy and I had nothing to lose, and if anything we’d just become international friends. Lol. So soon enough the guy follows me on IG and then starts a convo via DM. He introduces himself, seemed like a nice/decent guy. Very articulate, and well versed. He would comment on my stories here and there and try to get a conversation going, try to get to know me better and try to share things about himself. I think I recall him saying he thought I lived in Japan ‘cause I had a lot of posts from Japan. Lmao. It would get to the point though where he would write massive paragraphs, but the energy wasn’t called for, and didn’t feel mutual. I think I found it a bit overwhelming and felt like he wanted to take every opportunity to write an essay about his views on everything. There was a particular time I did an IG story post where I was venting about something, and he replied to it with like two long paragraphs worth of his thoughts, and then said he would be there for me even though we didn’t really know each other that well yet etc. Which was really sweet - yes. But also felt too early, premature. It almost felt like he was trying to forge an emotional connection too early on in a relationship which wasn’t even at the friends stage yet. We’d only been talking for like 2 weeks or so. I couldn’t help it, but I think my neutral and short replies gave off a hint, and he commented less and less on my stories. Till eventually he stopped altogether. Lol. Also I think I may have accidentally called him “man”....on purpose. I feel like a horrible person. There was a point early on though that I looked through his IG profile and tried to find things about him that I liked (I basically tried to convince myself that maybe the guy wasn't so bad). But I think that wasn’t successful. And yeah, it was hard to hide that fact for long I think. 

Guy #3 is this random guy that just followed me out of no where and liked a bunch of my photos on IG all at once. He then started commenting on my stories quite a lot. He would leave brief comical comments, and tried to get me to play animal crossing with him. Lol. He tried to start a convo one time but I didn’t reply to it for a few hours, and then found that he deleted it. Lol?? He would then like a few more of my IG pics. He was a bit strange. I wasn’t quite sure if he was trying to show that he was interested, or if he was just bored and wanted more friends. But yeah he doesn’t comment on my stories much anymore.  Now that I’ve gotten those out of the way, just thought I’d go on about my recent thoughts. So lately I’ve been feeling really stuck. I have a quarter-life crisis pretty much every day. I feel like I’ve plateaued, and I’m not really growing much right now. I feel like I need new experiences, new company. Most of the ones I have at the moment aren’t serving me well or helping me become a better person, if I’m honest. And I’m not happy. The company I have right now aren’t encouraging me to level up, or helping me expand my thoughts and horizons. I’ve noticed that a lot of the friends I was close to pre-covid have changed a lot, and so have I, so we’re not really offering much to each other. I’ve become so low energy lately that I find myself trying to avoid or escape dealing with people or situations that I feel aren’t worth my energy. Which I want to start doing more of from now on. I want to be more selective of the people I chose to surround myself with. I also want to find my community or a new community which I can be part of and grow from. Not sure how or where I will find that, but it’s something I’m keen on delving into more as time goes by. I want to be more myself, I want to change up my look, my fashion. I want to expand my knowledge, expand my vocabulary, expand the diversity of ways I talk/present myself or respond/reply to situations. I want to feel like I have something to offer - not only to my future partner, but to the friends I make in this lifetime. I feel like I’m too basic and uninteresting. I feel like I’m also too careful, too slow, too afraid to make mistakes. Too afraid to take risks. I want to stop “complaining about things, but doing nothing about them”. I want to be confident in myself, no matter what I feel that I am. If that makes sense. I want to speak more clearly, slower. I want to be able to speak Filipino fluently. I want to find the career that I love and work in it. I want to work with people that I can genuinely be friends with, not just colleagues or “fake friends”. I want to not care about what people will think about me, and just do me (especially on IG). I want to be unapologetically myself. But before that, I want that self to be the kind of self I aspire to be. Can you want to be different, but also want to just be yourself at the same time? Can someone confirm this? 

[prospitdaydreamer]

For u anon <3

HOOOOOOO ok i’m trying to gather all my thoughts

Ok so fair warning, a lot of these stories stem from like... 5th grade and some are revamped to not be as bad, but others I’m STILL working on so... it’s gonna be a littlw rough and they’re all rlly a little WIP (especially since I never finished Naruto.... so like a lot of the characters backstory might clash with the lore. But tbh these character’s entire existence clashes with the lore in the first place so rlly?? W/e i guess)

Ok ok here we go, i’m gonna put it under a readmore so I’m not assaulting everyone’s dash.

Maku - (This is my most developed oc out of all, mostly because she’s my fave lmao) So, Maku is a runaway from her clan (I don’t have a clan name yet, but it’s gonna do smthn with cats lmao). Maku is the daughter of the head of the clan, so she was raised as a princess and the heir to the throne. However, her parents are not... great :/ They put a lot of responsibility and pressure on her, while her younger sister got to get off shinobi training early and hang with her friends. Despite this, she didn’t hold resentment for her sister and loved her very much, but she grew distant from her parents. Not long before her coronation, she actually ended up running away after having a breakdown from the pressure. She had no plan where to go or any money, but she felt finally free. Until she met Miyuka, who tried to sacrifice her to Jashin. She was able to make a deal that if she let her live, she’d help her find sacrifices. Somehow they became friends through that. They joined the Akatsuki together. I’ll definitely post more about her soon I’m sure!

Her Akatsuki partner is Miyuka, of course.

She got paired with Kakuzu. Their relationship is a very quiet one, but she doesn’t mind. She’s not like Miyuka, who is very touchy-feely. She just wants a relationship built on mutual respect. She treasures the nights where she’s curled up and warm next to him, while he reads whatever book he’s reading.

Special abilities and weapons: She inherited her clan’s kekkei Genkai. She’s able to transform into any species of feline, but the bigger the species, the more chakra it uses. As long as she’s able to maintain the form of the feline, she also gets it’s abilities ( e.g. if she’s a cheetah, she gets speed, lion gets far leaps, etc). Bonus fact: if she had stayed in her clan and became the leader, she would have been granted the ability to summon a catlike creature, much like the Sannin’s animals. However, since she dipped out, her sister got this connection instead. She doesn’t use weapons very often, her claws usually do the trick.

Miyuka: I don’t have much down about Miyuka, but she was an orphan who was taken in by Jashinists, so of course she grew up to be one too. She met Maku while finding sacrifices and made a deal with her that if she’d help her get sacrifices, she’d be allowed to live. She actually grew fond of Maku because she was always respectful of her religion and practices. It was actually her idea to join the Akatsuki. Much like Hidan, she figured it’s a great opportunity to get sacrifices. She’s definitely hot, but don’t get too close unless you’re into knifeplay ;)

Her Akatsuki partner is Maku, of course.

She’s paired with Hidan, obv. They’re definitely under the impression that Jashin destined them together and they have NO problem showing that off to the world (Much to Kakuzu, Maku, and everyone’s disdain.)

Special abilities and weapons: Before meeting Hidan, she actually hadn’t unlocked her immortality. Hidan helped her unlock it and now they share that ability. Instead of a skeletal form, though, her form is more ghostly. She uses two sickles as her weapons.

Gashiyo: Gashiyo actually wasn’t technically a shinobi, but her grandfather was and he taught her everything she knows about fighting. She lived on his farm her whole life, and she was very close with one of the cows, Yumi. She grew up with Yumi since she was a little calf. Because of her, Gashiyo grew fond of cows, and they’re her favorite animals. When she was 17, she met a boy who came to work on her grandpa’s farm, and they fell in love. They became attached at the hip, and spent a whole summer together. One fateful night, she awoke to ruckus. When she went outside she found her grandfather dead and Yumi too. Standing over Yumi’s body was the boy she had fallen in love with. Turns out he had been working for a local gang that her grandpa owed money to. She ended up killing him for what he’d done. Ever since, her heart grew cold and she became a very angry person. She joined the Akatsuki, since she had nowhere to go and she needed money. 

Her Akatsuki partner is Koki.

She got paired with Deidara. She found him extremely annoying at first, but he wormed his way into her heart. Because of her past experiences with love, it was very difficult for her to open up to him. She’s pretty waspy, but she’s grown softer since. He even made her a little clay cow (It was very difficult for him to resist the urge to blow it up, but he managed.)

Special abilities and weapons: Her stampede jutsu causes a stampede of bulls made of chakra to charge toward her opponents. She also has brass knuckles with bull horns on them.

Koki: I honestly don’t have a backstory for her yet. I can tell you what she was like before I revamped her though. She literally just looked like Kisame, but a gorl lol. They were from the same village ig. Also she was a princess too excerpt it made no sense. I just wanted a princess (this was actually before i changed Maku’s story. She wasn’t originally a princess.) character i think. 

BUT i swear she’s waayyyy better now

Her Akatsuki partner is Gashiyo

She was paired with Kisame. If ever she had a weakness, it’s muscles. She saw him with his cloak off and it was OVER. Koki is anything but shy, and i think Kisame appreciated that. She doesn’t just like muscles on her men, she loves them on herself too! They often work out together.

Special abilities and weapons: She’s a puppet master, but her puppets are rather unusual. They’re more like little spider robots she’s infused with her chakra to do her bidding. She’s very fond of them, despite everyone finding them creepy. She usually uses small ones but she has them in all sorts of sizes.

Shiitake: Shiitake used to be one of Orochimaru’s experiments. Because of this, she has amnesia and doesn;t remember much from before her time with him. She somehow got away and joined the Akatsuki to, hopefully, gain protection from him. In all honesty, she doesn’t really want to be there. Her heart was never one for murder or crime, but she doesn’t really have a choice. She’s very quiet and rarely speaks unless spoken to.

Her Akatsuki partner is Anara.

She’s paired with Itachi. When he found out she used to be one of Orochimaru’s experiments, they bonded over their experiences with him. He told her about how he was targeted to be one of Orochimaru’s bodies. Though they know they don’t have a lot of time together due to Itachi’s sickness, they still try to make the best of the time they have. ANd until then, he promised he wouldn’t let Orochimaru anywhere near her. He felt it’s the least good he could do for someone.

Special abilities and weapons: WIP, i literally have no idea yet. 

Anara: I actually never came up with a backstory for her until like…. A year ago. Funny enough, her back story was inspired by Spinel’s from Steven Universe ( I kind of even want her to be voiced by Sarah Stiles too, but I suppose that’d be too on the nose! Still, that’s how I hear her voice). Anara never really knew what love was really like, considering her mother never cared for her much. Her mother never wanted to be a mom, but she met a man she really loved and he wanted a family. However, before Anara was born, her father died. Left as a husk from the depression of losing her lover and having a baby she never really wanted, her mom became very cold and distant. She kept her daughter alive, but that was about it. Anara tried very hard to make her mother happy, or really make her feel any emotion at all, but nothing worked. One day, her mother told Anara to stay home, and that she’d be back later. She left, and never came back, silently hoping maybe her daughter would just die. Well, she didn’t die. She eventually came to the realization her mother was never coming back for her, and she left that house and found her way to the nearest town where she was taken into the orphanage. She joined the academy to become a shinobi, but her heart was also in the arts. She performed plays for the other orphans, and loved the attention she received, the attention she craved. When she became older, she was both a shinobi and a theatre performer. Unfortunately, she still never really felt what it was like to be truly loved by someone. One day, she cracked from remembering the trauma of her mother and feeling like she may never receive the love she craved dearly, and ran away from the village, becoming a missing-nin. Tobi found her, and she became enamored with the mysterious masked man. She agreed to join the Akatsuki, hoping that he could fill the void in her heart. A chance to find a place where she belongs, whisked on an adventure by a mysterious masked man who promised to give her all she wanted? What else could a theatre girl want, lmao.

Her Akatsuki partner is Shiitake

She’s paired with Tobi, but it’s not clear if he feels the same or if he’s just using her. Doesn’t really seem to matter to her either way, she’s just happy to feel some sort of love.

Special abilities and weapons: WIP as well, lmao

Kimako: Kimako isn’t a shinobi, but she is the daughter of one. She’s the only one who has a definite village right now, she’s from Sunagakure. Her story is the one that's probably the dumbest but I have a very strong attachment to it for some reason, so w/e. 

She has no partner.

She’s paired with Sasori. They’ve known eachother since they were little, as she lived close to him and their parents were friends. Her heart broke for him when he found out his parents weren’t coming home. She always had a crush on him, and he was ok with her, since she was always kind to him. When he became a shinobi, she stayed by his side to encourage him. She’d always been proud of him. Before he lost interest in emotions or w/e, he cared for her in his own little way. He even gave her a ring and promised to be hers. Her love for him was very strong, and when he ran away, she vowed to find him, no matter what it took. When she found out he had joined the Akatsuki, she did everything she could to find a way to join and get close to him again. She somehow succeeded, and she pleaded to join, despite having no fighting abilities. She said she’d do anything, and they took pity on her, and found SOME use for her (though i haven’t figured out what that is yet… wip). Once she was accepted and finally reunited with her love, she was devastated to find out he no longer had any feelings for her. All those years, wasted. Not only that, but she now was in debt to the Akatsuki and had to do work for them. Anara did her best to comfort her, so they kind of became friends, so that’s something. DOes Sasori ever regain his feelings? Maybe, maybe not. Guess we’ll have to see ;) Though I do think, for him, she’d agree to become a puppet too. If that was his price or smthn.

Special abilities and weapons: None, just one sad little broken heart.

[kishimoto-did-us-dirty]

Can you do domestic Hc's sfw and nsfw for Sasuke and shika?

ofc lovely~ thank you for requesting!!

under the cut for the nsfw!

Domestic HC’s for Sasuke and Shikamaru

Domestic Headcanons for Sasuke

sfw

this man is so independent and neat. he’s naturally rather organized without even trying to be, so don’t expect to be doing much cleaning, because Sasuke naturally handles a lot of it on his own.

he did live on his own for several years, and although he was messy as a kid, as he got older he just got more pragmatic and conscious of his living space

he can do laundry, do the dishes and he’s not too bad of a cook. you may have to be the one doing most of the cooking though, lest there be too many tomatoes in every meal

usually rises rather early without even needing to set an alarm, but you can bet that, after a long mission or fight, he will take his sweet time getting out of bed in the morning. it can be hard for you to get up, too, considering he likes to sleep with an arm around your waist.

sasuke’s home is likely very orderly and clean for the previously stated reason: he’s rather orderly. but should it ever get a little messy, sasuke has no qualms in helping rearrange the house to how it once was – you may not even have to do any work. he just…. does it ig.

his house will also be rather plain. he doesn’t really spend a lot of time at home anyway *cough* *cough* twelve years *cough* *cough* so he doesn’t care too much for stylizing his home. something simple works for him.

Sasuke is a sucker for casually making out w his s/o during down time

after getting home, sasuke always needs to shower immediately, but you can bet right after that he will be right beside his s/o, reading a scroll or going over reports as his s/o does their own thing. he’ll sit right next to you and lightly drape an arm across your shoulder.

comfortable silences with Sasuke >>>

sasuke has a habit of turning on his sharingan unconsciously around you. you do something cute? bet. his sharingan will be on as he burns the image into his mind forever.

unconsciously draws patterns onto your skin when you’re next to him

he smells really nice?

one of his favorite pass-time’s is helping his s/o cook

also enjoys taking baths with his s/o

expect team 7 to be around a lot, especially naruto. they usually come a couple times a month for dinner, although it can be quite tense with sakura at first. she’ll warm up to eventually tho and come to value you as much as she does the other members.

nsfw

sasuke doesn’t really need sex to rewind and relax, he can do that without the pleasure

doesn’t mean he’d complain tho lmao

expect sex all over the house. kitchen? check. dining room? check. bathroom? check. everywhere else? check.

has a bad habit of interrupting you as the two of you make dinner together, lithe fingers running gently up and down your sides as he begins to kiss your neck from behind you.

dinner making can often turn into love making instead

shower sex is one of his favorites

when he was younger, he was a lot rougher in bed and had a possessive streak in him – it was purely physical

as he’s gotten older and less unhealthily angry all the time, he suddenly finds social interaction difficult, considering his form of “interaction” before was being rude and haughty to everyone he met

so older him was a little awkward with sex at first when it actually became an emotional thing rather than just physical 

he gets the hang of it though, and his roughness is still more than there

doesn’t let you cover up all the hickies he leaves

Shikamaru Domestic Headcanons

sfw

on the contrary to sasuke, shikamaru can sleep until well past noon if he wishes

unfortunately, he has a lot of duties and requirements that he knows he has to get up for, you know he has to get up for, fellow ninjas know he has to get up for; but that doesn’t make it any less hard

taking naps with him is a sure fire way to his heart.

this boy basically needs someone to mother him lol. he can’t do laundry, cook or clean – he can’t do any useful domestic skills for shit bro. or rather he can, but it’s too troublesome and “it’ll be much more efficient if you do it. I calculated it.”

his intelligence is surprising considering he can be such a fucking dumbass sometimes. you’ve literally seen him do the dumbest shit like put metal in the microwave or wonder where his keys are when they’re in his hand. they say scatterbrain is a sign of intelligence, but if this man wasn’t so acclaimed for such, you’d honestly wonder.

lazy weekends >

life with shika at home is very relaxed. it’s like a cool breeze on a warm day. you two have the most relaxing conversations regarding all sorts of whatnots and mishaps, with topics varying from preferences to existential businesses, all with fluctuations of severity and hilarity. if you’re one for damn good conversations, shika is the #1 domestic boy.

he’s actually really funny? he’s the type to jokingly insult his s/o, and so if they think it’s funny it’s a big win for him

“hey Shika, do you think it’s possible to manually increase one’s height?”

“if it is, I’m guessing all of yours went to that massive ass forehead” or “Is midget-hood finally getting to you?”

will follow the first one up with “magic forehead shrinking kisses”

expect these conversations to be happening across a shogi or go board. he likes to have games to destress, but please, for the sake of all involved, never expect to win one. he won’t go easy on you (although he will find it incredibly amusing when you lose)

accompanying his s/o as they run errands, no matter how “troublesome” it is. he secretly enjoys it, however. pretends to be annoyed but refuses to let his s/o carry the bags and insists on doing it himself

nsfw

morning sexxxx

it’s his favorite sex tbh and you know we all saw it coming

when the sun is barely peering through the blinds? hohohoho it’s shika’s time to shine y’all.

he just likes how casual and lazy it is, and it’s a great way to start off the day

won’t really have sex outside of the bedroom, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun

your shared room has a large mirror right in front of the bed, which can be rather teasing sometimes

also

shika literally binds people with his shadows, and if you don’t think that man gets creative with those shadows, then think again

he really likes fingering and mutual masturbation

loves lazy, sloppy head. both giving and recieving

aftercare? what? can’t he just sleep and deal with it in the morning?

cockwarming for sure

also likes to take baths with his s/o which can lead to even more fun ;)