#literally in what world would i just volunteer to do ot

[sodrippy]

think they changed from "anyone who wants to do ot let us know :)" to "we're going to request people do ot if possible" just for me<3

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Can I have some cute random facts about the skeleton brothers?

Sure can!

Undertale Sans - Sans is the one who sneaked the annoying dog into the house Underground. He figured that when Papyrus is a little sad, the dog always managed to cheer him up, or, well, annoy him enough so he doesn't think about what's making him sad anymore.

Undertale Papyrus - When Undyne and Alphys had their first kid, Papyrus played the nanny so they could both sleep the first night as he could see they were both really exhausted. He ends up being the child's godfather as well and he would die for his niece/nephew.

Underswap Sans - He participated in a beauty contest for fun with Alphys in the first month he reached the Surface and won. He's still sleeping with his trophy to this day, he's actually very proud of it (mostly because Alphys didn't win anything and her jealous face will not make him laugh).

Underswap Papyrus - He didn't know how to swim and so he was sad when he found himself all alone during the first monster trip to the beach while everyone was having fun. So Asgore picked him up and carried him on his back so he could enjoy the sea like the others. He even taught him the basics in a swimming pool when they got home and Honey is so thankful for it as he discovered he actually really likes that.

Underfell Sans - He couldn't be a dinosaur kid Underground, but I can promise you that the second he got on the Surface, he fell madly in love with the giant reptiles to the point of squealing in joy every time he saw a toy representing a dinosaur he doesn't have. He has a very impressive collection of them now. Edge took him to a dinosaur museum for his birthday. After that, it became impossible to make Red shut up for two months. It's still his favorite place on Earth and he's going there at least once a month.

Underfell Papyrus - That time, completely drunk, when he confessed to Undyne that she was his best friend and that he didn't know what he'd do without her. Of course, the next morning, the face entirely red, he screamed at her she imagined the whole thing and to leave him alone, despite her recording of the scene on her phone. But yeah, he turns a lot softer once drunk and Undyne is so amused by this that she's going to torment him for two months.

Horrortale Sans - Since Toriel's eyesight became pretty terrible over the years, once a week, Oak comes to her place to read books to her. It's a nice routine they have from Underground after he got his skull smashed as reading was helping Oak's memory. He struggled on a lot of words and she helped him through his lecture. Now he's doing it only to entertain her, mainly because it hurts him so much to notice Toriel is aging. She became his whole world through the years and he's not sure he could bear losing her. So he cherishes any small moment he has with her.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's working as a volunteer in an old people retirement home and even if he's not supposed to, he loves taking the three old ladies he's taking care of to the movie theater or to the restaurant just so they can have fun for a few hours. They're all acting like they're on a super secret mission and it's always a nice time. He kidnapped them next Gyftmas to celebrate at his place because no one should be without a family at that time.

Swapfell Sans - He loves being massaged to the point he becomes completely limp in his S/O's arms. It's actually one of the very rare moments you'll see him fully relaxed and/or deep asleep, as Nox usually never lowers his guard. That pretty much means he feels very safe around you, which is literally a confession that he trusts you with his life. You're a lucky one.

Swapfell Papyrus - The first time Nox took him to an attraction park once they arrived on the Surface is where Rus actually called him brother again for the first time in almost twenty years. Now that's something they do every year, to remind each other that despite everything that happened, they're still here for each other. Rus can tell it's Nox's way to apologize for the childhood Rus never really had and he's actually glad. Even though it's also a good excuse to get his revenge once a year by dragging his brother to a fantom train just to watch him scream with terror the whole time, without being able to complain because Rus will guilt-trip him otherwise lmao.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He tried makeup for the first time on the Surface and now he has a little bit of an addiction on his hands. He can spend hours in the cosmetics shops, just trying everything to see what looks good on him. He's actually so known in these shops the seller usually keeps all the new things in a corner so he can try them when he comes.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Since he doesn't like to talk to the seller in the shops, he usually sends his brother or his S/O to buy things for him. But since they often mess up and don't pick what he wants, now he's coming along, just hiding behind them and silently pointing at the things he wants with puppy eyes. Now that he has a little more confidence he's just doing it with anything he wants and that is not planned. Just staring intensely so someone notices him and buys it lol. He's poor, please say yes :(

[fahr-rose-mike]

Rural solidarity and wierdness

There is something I have noticed, and its a strange thing, but regardless of the primary culture, the further you get from city centers, the wierder people get - but in consistant ways. 1) Don’t trust the government or outsiders: I never understood this until I lived rural - but when you live somewhere that you have to be self sufficient to a large degreee - you stop wanting people who haven’t lived in your space telling you how to survive.  Real life example, I get super frustrated with the gun nuts screaming about wild hogs... most of them have never seen a domestic hog, much less a wild one - so they’re all about the right to bear that AR .223 with a 60 round clip... but see - I live around wild hogs, and mostly, that gun will just piss them off.  and if you shoot at 30-50 wild hogs - you deserve to get eaten.  I carry a .45 revolver (pull the trigger it goes bang, if not, repeat, no jams, I’m pretty sure it would fire dipped in cow shit just to be ornery) and I have a .30-06 bolt action rifle.  because most of the time, less than that won’t penetrate the layer of Accacia sap (also known as gum arabic) that they put in there fur to harden into armor.  I’ve heard stories of people shooting them with smaller guns and having the bullet deflect.  it makes the whole debate seem so disconnected and fake.  I need a gun to keep pigs from eating me.  seriously.  but I don’t need an AR or AK - that isn’t a useful tool for me. 2)no one seems to understand scale if they are not rural.  when I tell someone I have 50 acres of land, and that by the way is very small in my area, they can’t picture it.  its too big for city folks to conceptualize - suburban and city people live in neighbourhoods where they have 1/4 or 1/8 of an acre per house... my land is the size of most developments - but its not as simple as that, the other aspect is that when you are dealing with 50 acres, its not identical, its not like every part of my land is like every other part - I have sand pits, forests, grasslands, cultivated acres... even if I plowed it all and grew monoculture crops I’d still have good and bad parts of the land for each crop. It gets worse as you get more rural, I manage a ranch that has 2000+ acres, there is a literal town in a carved out corner of the orinignal ranch.  I can walk for miles and never leave the ranch.  i have worked that ranch for 3 years and there are section of it I have never seen.  I could work it another 15 and still have that be true. 3) The land changes all the time in unexpected ways: the city is Stagnant and static - the tree on 4th may die, but the city will replace it with an nearly identical tree, at least while the neighbourhood is not in decline.. but even after something will grow there in that only non-concrete spot... but the buildings, they’re the same, and the lawns, and the flower beds... they don’t move much. in the rural lands, your patch of land will vary wildly over the years, the less monoculture cropped it is the more obvious it will be, but even in the croplands, the weeds and the nutrients they move all the time.  the insects and animals come and go - we had one year with 10 rattlesnakes at the house, but we had 14 years where I never saw one at all.  you can watch the plants march across the landscape, patches of wildflowers never in quite the same place, the seeds carried by wind and animals and planted by the whims of the changing world.  this means you learn to navigate by noticing what doesn’t change in a  changing world, where often city folks can’t see any of it as more than the idea of the land. 4) by nessesity, rural folks build connections - but don’t rely on them.  if you live in the country, you know your neighbours.  when my kids were young, I told them how to get to the closest neighbours, because if the house caught fire, they would need to go somewhere to notify the volunteer fireman.  so its a good idea to know who they are - but, you also assume you don’t know them well, even if you’re friends - there is privacy, and that means that people can get away with things, but that also means they don’t judge - it has always been odd to me that city freedom is going to places where other people will accept you, but rural freedom is not wearing clothes because even unexpected visitors have to drive up the driveway past the barking dogs.  much of the suspician that city folk feel from rural folks is this - wether you mean ot or not, you’re imposing on there sanctuary when you visit - they may like you, but they may also spend most days naked, and your presense means they have to play by the societies rules. 5) what works you keep doing, what doesn’t you stop, and when things break you evaluate - is this worth fixing.  all the movies with tons of broken things in rural yards, thats the result of never knowing what you might need in a pinch.  its also why the canned goods and freezers - I can fill a freezer with meat from one hunting trip and eat it all year, but only if I can store it. I can fix one car with parts from another if they’re the same kind of car - its cheaper that way - so why not have three of the same car with only one functional.  when you have the space - you keep things longer that might be useful - when you pay real cash every time you throw something away, you think more about packaging.  by defualt, burning your own trash is cheaper, and composting is the norm even if its just in the form of throwing the leftovers out the back door for the racoons.

[hazyheel]

Monday Night Raw 5/20/19 Review

We opened with Heyman and Lesnar, who still has that briefcase for some reason. Apparently the two planned this when they saw Zayn beat Strowman on Raw last week. And I guess Lesnar was actually in that match, because of some negotaitions backstage, and I’m glad they addressed it. Heyman cut a really good promo about how both world champions should be paranoid. Seth Rollins then came out. Rollins insulted Lesnar for being a terrible champion. He challenged Lesnar to cash in the contract now, which Heyman desperately tried to stop from happening. But Heyman basically just said that it wouldn’t happen, because Rollins is on their time. Heyman kinda insulted Rollins by saying that he didn’t main event Wrestlemania while his girlfriend, Becky Lynch, did. I didn’t know they were dating, so that was lovely to hear. I’m a sucker for wrestling couples. Anyway, Heyman said that Lesnar may cash in on Kofi as well, because Rollins isn’t worthy of being in the ring with Lesnar. Kingston came out, and said that he doesn’t mind fighting Lesnar, and even challenged him. Heyman said that since both champions were asking Brock for a match, which kinda makes him more important than both titles. He didn’t cash in, but he said that he might at any point in the night.

Backstage, Kingston and Rollins talked to Triple H about what they’d be doing later, which was them teaming up for the main event against Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin. Ugh.

Grade: B. Super good promo, but it didn’t actually give us anything new. I always love to hear Heyman on the mic, and I like that dynamic where Brock is so important that both champions want to fight him. Its interesting. Honestly, Brock having the title is exciting, because he is an exciting talent. I want to see where this ends up going. Personally, I think Kofi is gonna get his ass beat by Lesnar, because he has a fairytale story that is worth ruining to get Brock over more. Hopefully, that’ll be later rather than sooner.

Then we had Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn. Zayn ran away before the match could even start. They brawled a bit backstage, and Zayn got his ass beat. Strowman was face to face with Bobby Lashley, but they did not come to blows. Strowman literally carried Zayn back to the ring. Zayn kinda had the advantage by the time the match actually started, but Strowman flattened him and hit a running powerslam for the win.

Grade: B+. This whole segment was super fun. Zayn’s acting here, where he was just ridiculously terrified of Bruan was entertaining. I am not usually into this, but the way that Sami sold everything was pretty funny. I don’t think they should make a habit of this kind of thing, but this was good in isolation.

Lars Sullivan then had an interview, which before I even heard I felt was detrimental to his character. Charly seemed really scared, which was good, and then we saw a video package of him since his debut. Charly asked about his goals, but the Lucha House party came out ot interrupt him. They wanted to fight him, and the three of them together were actually able to beat him to the ground. However, one on one he had an advantage. He was able to outlast each other them by waiting for the team to split up and he attacked them one at a time. Sullivan was able to stand tall once again, although not in as dominant a way as at Money in the Bank.

Grade: B-. A discount version of last night, with the added dynamic of the Lucha House Party being able to take down Sullivan when they worked together. But given that I saw it literally last night, I am gonna be a bit harsher.

Next up was Ricochet vs. Cesaro. Cesaro had a new entrance that was very generic. The match happened because Cesaro called Ricochet weak for having his back hurt in the ladder match last night. So naturally Cesaro worked over the back. At one point, Ricochet literally jumped onto Cesaro’s shoulders and then backflipped off of him.  That is insane control from both guys. Ricochet hit an awesome suicide dive, but the spot was kinda ruined by the commercial for the secret life of pets ad. Cesaro was able to get the win here with a neutralizer.

Grade: B-. Not a lot of time here, but some pretty good spots. I think that they can do great stuff together if they are given some faith.

Backstage, Charly interviewed AJ Styles about his loss, and he was pretty humble about his loss. Corbin then showed up and they trash talked back and forth, and it ended with AJ slapping Corbin. Corbin just said that he would pay for that, and then the segment just ended.

Roman Reigns then had a promo, but before he could even start, Shane McMahon came out to confront him. Shane said that he was totally done with the Miz, and he said that he was still pissed about how Reigns attacked Vince a while ago. Reigns then said that he wanted to fight Shane tonight, but Shane refused. Instead, Drew McIntyre came out, and just sorta stood next to Shane for the rest of the promo. However, he then said that he accepted the challenge for Super Showdown.

Grade: D+. This was really boring, and they teased McIntyre vs. Reigns (I still have hope that it’ll be good sometime) and then didn’t give it to us. Figured Reigns vs. Shane would happen at some point, but it will proabably suck unless they give it a stip.

Backstage, McIntyre and Shane were walking around backstage, and Miz confronted them. McIntyre kinda said that he would protect Shane, and then Miz challenged McIntyre.

Next up was the Usos vs. The Revival. Wilder jumped Jimmy before the bell, and then beat the living crap out of him. Jey got a huge hot tag and beat down both heels. Jey and Dawson slugged it out in the middle of the ring at one point, culminating in a double superkick and a near fall. On the outside, Wilder nailed Jimmy with a tornado DDT, and then Wilder got hit with a vicious suicide dive.

Grade: B. Almost a B+, but not quite competitive enough. This really is a dream match, and I cannot wait to see them actually able to cut loose. I want to see them pull off a really good match. For now though, this was the match of the night.

Backstage, Alexa Bliss confronted Nikki Cross about losing the ladder match last week. And then the Revival came in and were being annoying, and then the segment ended.

Then came the firefly funhouse, and all it was was the themsong glitching out a bit.

Then was a moment of Bliss, with Nikki Cross as the guest, as well as Becky Lynch. Lynch was over as hell in this venue. Cross just stood there awkwardly as they talked. Before Lynch could say anything, the Iconics came out. They said she was Becky One Belt, which is still better than most can say. Lynch wasn’t having any of their BS, and actually challenged them to a match for the Women’s Tag Team Championship. Lacey Evans came out and was being mean, and Becky said that she already beat Evans with only half her attention. She then challenged Evans and the Iiconics to a six woman tag. Cross volunteered to be on Lynch’s team, and Becky said that Alexa would also join. Alexa tried to protest, but Lynch told her to stand around and look pretty. I laughed out loud.

Grade: B+. Not quite an A- because it was a little too crowded, and everyone else brought the quality down, but Becky was sure as hell on point during this. She was tough, she was funny, and it felt like one of her twitter wars. I missed this Becky

In the actual match, Nikki Cross was in the ring a little bit, but really was only fighting so that Becky could get a hot tag. Evans immediately left when Becky got in the ring. She beat the crap out of the Iiconics, and she beat them with a top rope leg drop. Bliss and Cross celebrated in the ring, but Lynch just walked out and held her title high

Grade: D. I was going to grade this and the promo at the same time, but this match sucked. The only reason that it got some points in my book was that Becky really shined, and there were some funny moments, like Alexa just drinking coffee on the outside and one point when Becky hit Billie Cay really hard, and Royce yelled her named, followed immediately by a huge “oof” because Becky Knocked her off the apron. Funny, but not good.

Then we had Mick Foley with a huge announcement: the next title in the WWE. He talked about what being a champion meant, and then he brought out the 24/7 title, which is basically a neutered version of the hardcore championship. The crowd knew that too, and they booed. He resorted to saying the name of the city to get a pop.

The inaugeral champion was crowned by a scramble for the belt, and a bunch of the lower card guys ran down to try to get it. Corey was gonna run out and get it, but Cole and Renee told him to sit down. This was just wild and stupid fun, nothing of note really happened. Titus was able to grab it, so he is the first champion. But then Robert Roode ran out and rolled him up, so Robert Roode won it.

Grade: B-. I don’t think the smark in me can give this any higher than a B-. But I loved this to death. It was so dumb and awesome. The promo kinda flopped when it wasn’t the hardcore championship, and I genuinely don’t think that this belt is worth anything, but it is kinda a kick in the ass that will make me want to watch. I think that it’ll be less exciting then the Hardcore championship given the lack of weapon shots to the face and head, but it’ll still be stupid fun.

Next match was Miz vs. McIntyre. I don’t know why this match took place in the dark, but they changed the logo mid show and it made the stadium look a bunch darker. Miz desperately fought against his bigger opponent, trying to take him out at the knees but not really standing much of a chance. Miz continued to work the knee and eventually locked in the figure four for a submission sequence. Miz tried to attack Shane on the outside, but Shane ran away, which allowed him to run back and attack him when the ref’s back was turned. McIntyre followed up with a claymore for the win.

After the match, Shane went for a coast to coast on Miz, but Roman came out to fight him off. He hit McIntyre with a superman punch and stood tall.

Grade: C. This was very meh. Just felt placeholder, and there was no reason for Miz to almost be able to beat McIntyre.

Backstage, Robert Roode ran past Corbin and Lashley, told them they didn’t see him, and then ran again. The rest of the low card chased him, including Drake Maverick, who hurt his back during the scramble cuz Titus threw him out of the ring. He was limping, and just sort of apologized to the heels. I love this belt, it is so dumb.

Samoa Joe then addressed his attack on Rey Mysterio, who apparently was injured during the attack. Basically he said that Mysterio deserved it.

Robert Roode hid inside of R-Truth’s trunk, who was helping him. Then Truth attacked Roode, and won the title. I love this.

And in the main event, Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins took on Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin in a no disqualification match. The heels jumped the faces before the bell, and they were tagging in and out for some reason when the match started proper. At one point, Lashley and Corbin were going to superplex Kingston, but Rollins attacked them both with a chair. Kingston was able to get the win with a trouble in paradise.

Immediately after the match, Lashley speared both faces. Brock Lesnar then walked down to the ring, but did not end up cashing in.

Grade: B-. This match was kinda bland, but the no DQ stip was a good change of pace. I liked that, but the match didn’t do much for me. But it was still a cool thing to have in the main event. I definitely never thought that Brock was cashing in, so that didn’t bother me.

Overall Grade: B-, because most of this show was just meh.

Pros: opening promo; strowman squash; usos vs. revival; moment of bliss; 24/7 championship

Cons: shane mcmahon promo; 6-woman tag; Miz vs. McIntyre

[theadmiringbog]

Schools reward being a generalist. There is little recognition of student passion or expertise. The real world, however, does the reverse. Arnold, talking about the valedictorians said, “They’re extremely well rounded and successful, personally and professionally, but they’ve never been devoted to a single area in which they put all their passion. That is not usually a recipe for eminence.”

--

In his Ph.D. thesis, Mukunda applied his theory to all the U.S. presidents, evaluating which ones were filtered and which unfiltered, and whether or not they were great leaders. The results were overwhelming. His theory predicted presidential impact with an almost unheard of statistical confidence of 99 percent.

...

When I spoke to Mukunda, he said, “The difference between good leaders and great leaders is not an issue of ‘more.’ They’re fundamentally different people.”

--

“All of Silicon Valley is based on character defects that are rewarded uniquely in this system.”

- Po Bronson

--

Know thyself.

...

Many people struggle with this. They aren’t sure what their strengths are. Drucker offers a helpful definition:”What are you good at that consistently produces desired results?”

To find out what those things are, he recommends a system he calls “feedback analysis.” 

Quite simply, when you undertake a project, write down what you expect to happen, then later note the results. Over time you’ll see what you do well and what you don’t.

...

Research by Gallup shows that the more hours per day you spend doing what you’re good at, the less stressed you feel and the more you laugh, smile, and feel you’re being treated with respect.

--

The difference between the Givers who succeed and the Givers who don’t isn’t random. Adam Grant notes that totally selfless Givers exhaust themselves helping others and get exploited by Takers, leading them to perform poorly on success metrics. There are  number of things Givers can do to build limits for themselves and make sure they don’t go overboard. That two-hours-a-week volunteering? Don’t do more. Research by Sonja Lyubomirsky shows that people are happier and less stressed when they “chunk” their efforts to help others versus a relentless “sprinkling.” So by doing all their good deeds one day a week, Givers make sure assisting others doesn’t hamper their own achievements. One hundred hours a year seems to be the magic number.

Grant also points out the other ace in the hole Givers have: Matchers. They want to see good rewarded and evil punished, so Matchers go out of their way to punish Takers and protect Givers from harm. When Givers are surrounded by a coterie of Matchers, they don’t have to fear exploitation as much.

--

Don’t be envious

Life isn’t a zero-sum game. Just because someone else wins, that doesn’t mean you lose. Sometimes that person need the fruit and you need the peel. And sometimes the strategy that makes you lose small on this round makes you win big on the next.

--

Cooperate

Harvard Business School’s Deepak Malhotra number one recommendation to students is “They need to like you.” This doesn’t mean you need to give twenty-dollar bills to everyone you meet. Favors can be quite small. We also forget that something quite easy for us (a thirty-second email introduction) can have enormous payoffs for others (a new job).

--

As Adam Grant acknowledged, giving too much can lead to burnout. A mere two hours a week of helping others is enough to get maximum benefits, so there’s no need for guilt or for martyring yourself -- an no excuse for saying you don’t have time to help others.

--

David DeStenoo, head of the Social Emotions Group at Northeastern University says, “People are always trying to discern two things:

whether a potential partner can be trusted and 

whether he or she is likely to be encountered again.

Answers to those two questions, far beyond anything else, will determine what any of us will be motivated to do in the moment.”

--

“Explanatory style”: three Ps: permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization

Pessimists tell themselves that bad events

will last a long time, or forever (I’ll never get this done)

are universal (I can’t trust any of these people)

are their own fault (I’m terrible at this)

Optimists tell themselves that bad events

are temporary (That happens occaionally, but it’sn ot a big deal)

have a specific cause and aren’t universal (When the weather is better that won’t be a problem)

are not their fault (I’m goo at this, but today wsn’t my lucky day)

--

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how.”

- Victor Frankl

--

“What is to give light must endure burning.” 

-- Victor Frankl

--

What’s the best predictor of your child’s emotional well-being? Researchers at Emory University found that whether a kid knew their family history was the number-one indicator.

--

It sounds morbid, but people who contemplate the end actually behave in healthier ways -- and therefore may actually live longer. It has also been shown to increase self-esteem.

--

The moral of Don Quixote: “If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.”

--

“If you are immune to boredom, there is literally nothing you cannot accomplish.”

-- David Foster Wallace

--

What all good games have in common: WNGF

Winnable

Novel challenges and Goals

provide Feedback

--

You can be sincere and score points with the boss by regularly asking how you’re doing and how can you do better. If you were the boss, and an employee regularly said, “How can I make your life easier?” what would your reaction be? Exactly.

--

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

-- Henry David Thoreau

--

Whenever you wish you had more time, more money, etc. strategic quitting is the answer.

--

We act like there are no limits. When we choose an extra hour at work, we are in effect, choosing one less hour with our kids. We can’t do it all and do it well. And there will not be more time later. Time does not equal money because we can get more money.

--

Drucker always asks: “Is this still worth doing?” And if it isn’t, he gets rid of it so as to be able to concentrate on the few tasks that, if done with excellence, will really make a difference in the results of his own job and in the performance of his organization.

--

If you practice something one hour a day, that’s 27.4 years to reach the 10,000-hour mark of expertise. But what if you quit a few less important things and made it four hours a day? Now it’s 6.8 years. 

--

There’s an easy formula that gives you an exact answer for how many dates to go on and how to pick the right person. It’s what math folks call an “optimal stopping problem.”

--

The two magic words are “if” and “then.” For any obstacle, just thinking, If X happens, I’ll handle it by doing Y makes a huge difference.

--

WOOP -- wish, outcome, obstacle, plan -- is applicable to most any of your goals, from career to relationships to exercise and weight loss.

First, you get to dream. What’s the thing you wish for?

Really crystalize it in your mind and see the outcome you desire.

Then it’s time to face reality. What obstacle is in the way? 

Then address it. What’s your plan?

--

You wanna be a real ramblin’ earth shaker? Somebody who changes the world and gets recognized in the history books? There ain’t no two ways about it; you’re gonna need a mentor.

--

You might think, “I’m just trying to explain ...” But Bernstein says this is a trap. Explaining is almost always veiled dominance. You’re not trying to educate; you’re still trying to win. The subtext is, “Here’s why I am right and you are wrong.” And that is exactly what the other side will hear no matter what you say.

--

Ask open-ended questions. Ones that start with “what” or “how” are best because it’s very hard to answer then with just yes or no.

--

Label emotions

Respond to their emotions by saying “Sounds like you’re angry” or “Sounds like this really upsets you.” Neuroscience research shows that giving a name to feelings helps reduce their intensity.

--

Make them think

Al Bernstein likes to ask “What would you like me to do?” This forces them to consider options and think instead of just vent.

--

Walter sat down and counted all the people who had helped him become a success. He would call them “my forty-four.” Forty-four people. 

--

Low self-confidence may turn you into a pessimist, but when pessimism teams-up with ambition it often produces outstanding performance. To be the very best at anything, you will need to be your harshest critic, and that is almost impossible when your starting point is high self-confidence.

-- Tomas Chamorr-Premuzic

--

Research shows increasing self-compassion has all the benefits of self-esteem -- but without the downsides. 

--

As the WSJ reports, “Those who stayed very involved in meaningful careers and worked the hardest, lived the longest.” Meaningful work means doing something that’s (a) important to you and (b) something you’re good at.

--

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.”

-- Mark Twain, Tom Sawyer

--

Psychologists have realized that burnout isn’t just an acute overdose of stress; it’s pretty much plain ol’ clinical depression.

--

To be really creative, you need to step out of that hyper-focused state of tension and let your mind wander.

--

You need a personal definition of success. Looking around you to see if you’re succeeding is no longer a realistic option. Trying to be a relative success compared to others is dangerous. This means your level of effort and investment is determined by theirs, which keeps you running full speed ball the time to keep up. Vaguely saying you want to “be number one” isn’t remotely practical in a global competition where others are willing to go 24/7. We wanted options and flexibility. we got them. Now there are no boundaries. You can no longer look outside yourself to determine when to stop. The world will always tell you to just keep going.

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“Success is something you will confront constantly in business. You will always be interpreting it against something, and that something should be your own goals and purpose.”

- Ken Hakuta

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Four metrics that matter most

Happiness: having feelings of pleasure or contentment in and about your life

Achievement: achieving accomplsihments that compare favorably against similar goals others have strived for

Significance: having a positive impact on people you care about

Legacy: establishing your values or accomplishments in ways that help others find future success

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Maximizing is exploring all the options, weighing them, and trying to get the best. Satisficing is thinking about what you need and picking the first thing that fulfills those needs. Satisficing is living by “good enough.”

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Ellen Galinsky did a study asking kids, “If you were granted one wish and you only have one wish that could change the way your mothers or your fathers work affects your life, what would that wish be?” Most popular answer? They wished their parents were “less stressed and less tired.

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Write down where each hour goes as it happens. Don’t rely on your fallible memory. Do this for a week. Where are your activities taking you? Is it where you want to go? 

Note which hours are contributing to which of the big four: 

Happiness

Achievement

Significance

Legacy

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The only way to be realistic about what you can get done in the time you have is to schedule things on a calendar instead of making an endless list.

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At least an your a day, preferably in the morning, needs to be “protected time.”

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What’s the most important thing to remember when it comes to success? One word: alignment.

Success is not the result of any single quality; it’s about alignment between who you are and where you choose to be. The right skill in the right role. A good person surrounded by other good people. A story that connects you with the world in a way that keeps you going. A network that helps you, and a job that leverages your natural introversion or extroversion. A level of confidence that keeps you going while learning and forgiving yourself for the inevitable failures. A balance between the big four that creates a well-rounded life with no regrets.

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Know thyself. What are your intensifiers? Are you a Giver, a Taker, or a Matcher? Are you more introverted or more extroverted? Underconfident or overconfident? Which of the big four do you naturally fulfill an which do you consistently neglect?

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What’s the most important type of alignment? Being connected to a group of friends and loved ones who help you become the person you want to be. Financial success is great, but to have a successful life we need happiness. Career success doesn’t always make us happy, but the research shows that happiness does bring success.

[smaeblogthings]

Why am I fearful? I need new things. God will provide.

F*ck literally why does fear always creeps in? (sorry naman sa first word haha may God pa title ko. Currently, I am here infront of my laptop planning to apply in online jobs. I have browsed a job application in Legalist. So girl why consider online job? 

I need funds.

Back story

Well I totally moved back in my parent’s house last August and I am currently unemployed. There are a lot of re-routing things that is happening now and instead to continuously feeling down and beat myself up because of what happened. I conditioned myself (and still is) to see endless opportunities. Actually, in a short span of time, I began to see that there are a lot of things and jobs that can be done. I can literally pick-up a part-time job and try to do legit business on the side. Experiment for two years and do my best (ofcourse with God’s consent still). If it didn’t work out then nadah. I will only be 25 years old by then.

I have seen an online job application at Legalist, a Litigation funding start-up enterprise, founded by two Harvard drop-outs. Their philosophy are okay and I feel that the people and team are brilliant there, based on what I have seen on their website. But why do I feel I am incapable? F*ck it I will apply after I have typed this. And to other applications which I find interesting. I plan to take up the PhilSat next year 2020 and go to Law school after I have saved up enough for 1 semester. My previous job is in the largest Law firm in the country and thereafter I pursued my “ideal” passion thing with the environmentalism advocacy, however, I was not a good fit there because of many factors: personal time, not ready physically, psychologically and culture wise. I don’t know if it was easy for me to quit because I volunteered for 3 months (not regular) and got hired then I just take it for 1 month then quit. I don’t know but maybe yeah maybe no. Who knows, I flipped the coin. But good thing is I help them still through supporting their advocacies and connecting people.  If there would be something that I have learned through the circumstances that God allowed, those are:

1.) There is no linear way in reaching to your dreams, the success you have envisioned for yourself. But I believe that I will still get there ofc through the ever support of God but I have to work hard. Work hard means it’s hard.

2.) God is killing my perfectionism. The expectations. The shoulds. I think it’s okay to deal with this now than when I am in my 50s. I have a tendency to be stubborn hence just think about it when I am already in my 50s and think I know life better.

3.) I am imperfect like everyone else. I don’t need to strive for perfection. I need to learn myself and embrace how I was created. I am a child of God. I am created to be a certain way. There are times wherein I would hate myself for being an ENFP, for being an empath because I feel to deeply and I am deeply emotional for any injustice I see. I always feel like have to contribute to something positive, something to lighten the situation and something to change it.

4.) Accept that there are things you cannot control. I cannot control people and outcome of situation. I may picture it in my head and replay it over and over but more oftentimes the result is still different.

5.) I need to improve. In this almost 7 months break, I am quite impressed of myself re: savings, travel and date with people and how God taught me (and provided for me). I would consider myself already a success but I know this is not what I can do and offer yet. Hindi pa maximized life haha pero kapagod lifestyle ko in the past 3 years ha. Ministry, work (hello OT), volunteer, family time, catching up with friends, travel, fitness...squeezed in one but I will never trade those moments.  Wait, maybe the reason why I feel exhausted now and no motivation is because I am motivated for myself? Ayoko na haha gusto ko ibang tao naman. My family, my promise trip to Israel to mama and papa. The good life for them. I don’t want the feeling that they are intimidated with people who are of “success” for them but I want them to realize abundant life and life has so much to offer. 6.) My decision is right stop dwelling. I am so careful living life that sometimes it’s too much. One career decision will not fuck me up.

7.) Tumblr is still a safe place for me than my blog. Feel ko may nagbabasa dun at ijudge ako. That is something I need to learn still to not be afraid of judgement and outer validation.

8.) I miss gym a lot. Lifting those dumbells, kettlebells and plates. Ansaya. Circuit training is so fun I am like playing. Nagfun run ako 21km pero hindi 

9.) NEW memories, greater heights will help me move-on with life. God allowed me to live in this specific moment for a reason. It is always of joy. Thre is no reason to dwell with worries and sadness. Sadness is a bad thing but I don’t want to feel it now. My personality needs NEW things, NEW places, NEW adventures and NEW people etc. I had my solo trip last week and it was so much fun. If there is a job that would allow me to have the entire world as my office please hello. HAHAHA Nagsurf pala ako pero takot ako nung una kahit may instructor and it was my 3rd time haha. Humingi pa ko ng encouragement through chatting my friends eh. Nakakamiss and nakakchallenge parang gusto kong goal long board hard tap without instructor HAHA. weeeeee can’t insert my surf vid upload ko nalang after this, promise.

10.) Embrace this is a new season.

DANG IT. It is such a relief to let this all out here!!!! my butt hurts now because of too much sitting it’s bad for mahh booty. Okay, will post this now. Bond with the fam. Eat then fucking find money haha i mean apply BYEEEE. Brave is not the absence of fear. It’s taking courage despite of fear. LOVE YAHHH BOO YAH.