#literally i'm gonna kill myself at this rate

[james-stark-the-writer]

writing annotations for sources is one of the most annoying things ever and i just spent the last hour writing 15 annotations and now my hands hurt like hell and i wanna end it all bc i literally turned the assignment in with 1 minute remaining (and several annotations had to be compromised to get it in so i'm also sad i turned in subpar work, even if it's better than no work at all) and i still had work to do for a few of them, and a few typos slipped past and i even got 2 citations wrong.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Can you please do reader x Kurt Wagner(X-2 version) where they both have feelings for eachother but don’t voice it and they have to share a room together for a mission and it’s Kurt’s first time🙏🏻🙏🏻

~Who Says You Can't Mix Business With Pleasure?~

Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: handjob, riding, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected p in v, creampie, Kurt is innocent (so lowkey corruption kink kinda??)- I think that's everything, I hope, maybe, sorry if not lol

Genre: fluff with nice amounts of smut

Summary: It's Kurt's first mission but who said you can't kill two birds with one stone (not literally, you read the ask)

A/N: Omg I am so glad you asked dear and so politely too. Here you go dear, hope you like it ;)

***

You push open the heavy doors to the familiar mansion, popping a large bubble with the gum in your mouth.

"Well, look who's back." Logan is the first to greet you at the door.

"You're one to talk, what are you doing here claws?"

"I hate when you call me that." He rolls his eyes as he pulls you in for a hug.

"I know but it suits you so well." You laugh wrapping your arms around him.

"Now that's a sound I haven't heard in quite a while." Scott announces as he descends the stairs.

"Summers! Is that a smile I see on your big dumb face?" You gasp.

"A surprise visit from you is deserving of one I'd say." Scott chuckles and you leap up to lock your arm around his neck.

"Everyone here's such a grumpy bastard." You ruffle his hair.

"What're you even doing here?" Scott asks wresting his way out of your grip.

"Prof asked me to come." You shrug.

"Y/n?! Y/n!" Rogue comes speeding down the hall.

"Hey poppet. How ya doin little vampire?" You ask hugging her while she lets you.

"I'm good! You're back! Are you staying?"

"Not sure hon, depends on what Xavier needs from me." You shrug.

"Where have you been?" She asks.

"All over the world, my dear. There's much to be done, you know."

"Hey Scott have you seen- y/n?" Jean comes around the corner, blinking in surprise when she sees you.

"I have actually, yes." Scott jokes.

"At this rate I'll never make it out of this foyer." You laugh. "Hey Jean." You wave at her.

"Hey! I didn't know you'd be back today."

"I don't think anyone did honestly. Even I didn't til Charles called me and told me to come back." You shrug.

"What for?" Her brow furrows.

"I have no clue, he wouldn't tell me over the phone. He just said that as soon as I was done in Seattle, I needed to head back this way." You say.

"All over the world and you were just across the country?" Rogue looks at you.

"Before Seattle I was in Cairo, before Cairo it was Greece, before that it was Italy- I'll show you pictures later." You wink at her. "I'm gonna track down Charles before any one else catches me in the foyer and I do never leave this spot." You say slipping past your friends to find Charles Xavier. Several students greet you as you walk down the halls but there are also many new faces wandering the mansion. You eventually find him in his office.

"I was beginning to wonder when you would arrive." He says when you walk in.

"Good to see you too Charles."

"You seem well."

"I take care of myself when I'm not here." You shrug.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"So what'd ya need me for Professor?" You walk over to his bookshelf and scan the titles as you wait for an answer.

"There's a mission I have that- only you can complete."

"Me? Come on, there's a house full of us, no way they couldn't handle it." You scoff.

"It's not that they're not capable, it's that the only favorable outcome requires your presence."

"Look I'm not gonna reject the mission or anything but I can't see how that could be true." You say.

"There's a new mutant here."

"There's always a new mutant here, that's why this place exists."

"Not a student, y/n. I'm sending him on a mission and I need you to go with him." He says.

"Why me? I've never met the guy, I'm kinda the worst choice dude everyone else has been around him."

"That's exactly why it has to be you. I need him with an objective partner."

"Fine I guess. What's the mission and when do we leave?"

"Here's the file. You have an hour."

"An hour? Wow, rushing me right back outta here."  You chuckle.

"Mr. Wagner, no reason to lurk outside the door, you're welcome to join us. Come on in." Charles calls out loud.

"What're you talking about?" You frown.

"Your mission partner." Charles says and you turn your head to the closed door of the office. There's an odd thudding whoosh sound beside you out of your peripheral causing you to whip your head around. You leap out of your chair when you realize a guy is standing in the previously empty space next to you. He's a deep shade of blue with bright yellow eyes and markings covering his skin.

"What the fu- who are you?" You narrow your eyes.

"Kurt Wagner. But in the Munich circus I was known as The Incredible Nightcrawler!"

"Riiiight. Well I'm y/n but on missions I am known as Flex."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Kurt bows his head which causes you to quirk an eyebrow up at him.

"Likewise." You hold out a hand for him to shake. The bow thing is really weird. He takes your hand in his and places a kiss on the back of it instead of just shaking it. You turn to Charles for a moment so he can fully see your confusion.

"I look forward to working with you." He smiles revealing shark-like sharp teeth.

"Same. Get yourself together Nightcrawler, we leave in an hour. And pack a bag, we'll be gone a while."

"I have to pack?! Okay. I will see you in an hour." Kurt nods leaving the office.

"What's up with him?" You ask Charles.

"Trauma. Lots of it based on what little I've been able to gather thus far." He says.

"So you want me to acclimate the new stray."

"I wish you wouldn't do that." He sighs.

"Why? It's not a dirty word. We're all strays around here. It's how we found each other." You shrug.

"Y/n." He sighs.

"Lighten up X, I love it here. Although I do have to get ready to leave again. Where are we going?" You hum opening the file to read. "Switzerland? What's in Switzerland?"

"I went through all the trouble to make that file y/n read it instead of asking me questions I've answered in there." Charles says.

"Alright, alright. I'm gonna unpack and repack and read your file. I'll keep you posted on our progress once we leave." You wink at him and leave the office. Up in your room you find Storm and Jean already chatting on your bed.

"So you weren't going to tell me you were coming back today?" Storm stands and slings an arm over your shoulders.

"Unfortunately I'm off to Switzerland darling, so I can't even catch up." You say.

"Switzerland?! For what?" Jean frowns.

"Some mission with the circus boy."

"Kurt! Wait he brought you home to go on a mission with Kurt? Why?" Storm asks.

"Your guess is as good as mine babes. I leave in an hour." You shrug.

"Wow." Jean says.

"I know. Wait I didn't bring this inside." You say noticing the bag you brought with you is on the bed.

"Logan did. You know the boys here do anything for you." Storm scoffs.

"True. Thanks to him for that. Okay, give me... Sparknotes what've I missed?" You ask as you unload your bags. You toss the dirty clothes into your hamper transfer your personal items into a larger bag and pack new clothes and Jean and Storm update you on the chaos you missed while out handling other assignments around the world. You talk with the girls as long as you can while you pack, but an hour is only so long and soon you're bidding them farewell to meet Kurt at the jet.

"Hello again y/n." Kurt says when you get there. He's perched on one of the wings of the aircraft.

"Sup Nightcrawler. Whatchya doin up there?" You ask grabbing the keys to the jet.

"Waiting for you!" He says teleporting to where you are.

"Ready to go then?"

"Yes!" Kurt says following you into the jet. You drop your bag down at the back somewhere and settle into the front seat assuming Kurt has no idea how to fly one of these things.

"Strap in somewhere Wagner, don't want you knocking around as I fly." You say as you prep for takeoff. He scrambles into the copilot seat next to you and buckles himself in. "Ready for liftoff." You put on your headset and fly out of the hanger.

"Do you know how to fly one of these things?" You ask him once you're in the air.

"Oh no. I do not- I've never- no." He shakes his head.

"You wanna give it a shot?" You smirk.

"Is it difficult?"

"Don't worry love, I'll guide you the whole way."

"What do I do?"

"You can start by grabbing the steering." You say. Kurt's hands shoot forward to grab the steer. "Good. Pull it towards you to go up, push it to go down. Turn it to turn. Got it?"

"Got it." He nods.

"Okay, I'm going to let go and switch it to your controls. Just hold your wheel5 steady." You tell him switching primary control from you to Kurt. The jet dips immediately.

"Pull up Kurt, pull up darling." You tell him and he jerks the wheel towards him sharply. "Gentle love gentle! A little goes a long way. Steady it."

"It is- scary." Kurt says.

"You're doing fine honey just take it easy. Don't let her scare you, you've got the wheel so you're in control, act like it."

"Okay. Okay. Easy. Control. Gentle."

"Much better dear, much better." You nod. "Do you wanna try something fun?"

"What is it?"

"A flip. You wanna try flipping the jet?"

"What if we crash?"Kurt's eyes widen.

"We won't. I won't let us, there's no one around, plus I think you can do it." You shrug.

"How do we do it?"

"All at once, very quickly, you need to pull the wheel towards you and flip it upside down. Okay?"

"Okay." He nods.

"Ready?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, 3, 2, 1- go! Flip it!" You say. Kurt quickly executes your direction and the plane flips upside down once, twice, three times before Kurt rights you again.

"That was fun!" Kurt looks at you with a bright smile.

"Told ya." You wink. "Do you wanna keep flying?" You ask.

"I would feel better if you took it back soon." He admits.

"Very well, you're doing a great job though sweets." You tell him.

"Thank you, but I am still nervous." He says.

"That's fine. I'll take the reins back in 5 minutes. Is that okay?"

"Yes." He nods.

"Brilliant." You smile. After exactly five minutes you take over flying from Kurt. The flight is long, but eventually you land at the coordinates indicated in your flight plan.

"Cabin in the woods. Great." You say when you come out of the jet.

"Is something wrong?"

"No no, just making an observation." You shrug.

"It is empty out here, no?"

"Well we can't land this thing in the middle of Zurich." You say.

"Oh- yeah I suppose so." Kurt mutters.

"Get your things, we'll settle in and start mission stuff in the morning." You tell him walking over to the cabin to locate the key to this place. Eventually you find it under a panel of the floorboard that pops out of the porch apparently. You unlock the door and turn on the lights, surveying the room. There's a couch and a fireplace with a TV above the mantle on one side of the entry and a kitchen on the other. It's a little chilly in here, which makes sense, since no one's been here in who knows how long. You shoot a flame into the fireplace, lighting the wood already piled there. You head into the kitchen, wondering if there's anything left to eat in here or if the stash in the jet is all you've got. There's a few nonperishables like canned soups, dried fruits, and a bunch of jerky types but you'll probably prioritize the items you brought.

"Uh- y/n?" Kurt calls out.

"What's up?"

"There seems to only be one bedroom here?"

"Of course there is." You sigh. "Then I guess we're sharing."

"Sharing?!"

"Well yeah, obviously. Unless you'd rather sleep out here on the couch." You shrug. Kurt mutters something under his breath. "Kurt it was a joke honey I'm not about to make you sleep on the couch."

"Is that- acceptable?"

"What do you mean is it acceptable? We're not in school." You scoff.

"I just mean- we're- it's not traditional to-" Kurt stops when you lift a hand.

"All we're doing is sleeping. I promise not to jump your bones in the middle of the night." You tell him. He still seems nervous about to prospect but he lets the conversation drop there.

The rest of the evening he doesn't talk much, which is fine. You spend the evening reading Charles' provided file and strategizing for this mission. It looks like you're breaking into a Striker facility looking for information, unfortunately there's not much available in terms of schematics here.

You wake up before Kurt the next morning and are already sipping coffee when he shuffles into the kitchen.

"Good morning y/n." He says.

"Good morning Kurt. Would you like coffee?"

"Yes please."

"We'll start with observation. We don't have schematics for the building we're hitting so we need to map it out somehow." You tell him as you pour a cup off coffee and hand it to him.

"How will we do that?"

"Gonna test out a gizmo Charles packed in the jet. All we have to do, is get it inside." You say showing Kurt the tiny electronic.

"We have to get that inside?" Kurt's eyes narrow at the thing.

"Yep."

"But how are we going to get in?"

"Go through the giant doors and hope no one stops us." You shrug.

"You can't be serious."

"Only kind of. We don't need to be undetected really, we just have to make sure they don't notice this when they do detect us." You say.

"Okay." Kurt says.

"We'll take the snowmobile to the edge of trees and then hit the building from the side."

"I can teletransport us."

"Great, let's head out then." You say, placing your empty coffee mug in the sink and heading out. Kurt is quick to follow you and soon you're off. It takes quite a while to hit the edge of the trees, a couple of hours, but eventually you reach the building. You scope it out for a bit before locating a door that seems like your easiest chance for getting inside. It looks like some sort of service door and a quick glance tells you there aren't any cameras on the door.

"How do we get inside?" Kurt asks when you reach the door. You place your ear against it and luckily enough you catch the sound of footfalls that you're almost sure are headed this way.

"Someone's coming. Kurt I'm gonna kiss you okay." You warn him.

"Wha-" the door starts to open so you push him against the wall and press your lips against his. You pull Kurt's hands down to your waist with one hand while the other sits on his shoulder.

"Ugh gross." You hear from whoever's opened the door. "Hey, you two. This is private property. You can't be here." He says knocking on the wall by your head. You pull away from Kurt, feigning surprise.

"Oh shit- there are people in there?" You try to look inside over the guy's shoulder. He tries to block you. "I thought for sure this place was abandoned." You swing your elbow into his nose and grab the door from him pulling it forward into the back of his head, knocking him out.

"Let's go. See what we can check out while we plant this thing." You tell Kurt, walking inside. For the first few halls you walk down there's no sign of anyone. Then, you hear a pair of voices coming from a couple of halls away. You pull Kurt around a corner and press a finger to your lips.

"Someone's coming, wait here." You say. Kurt grabs your wrist when you turn away.

"What are you doing? You said someone's coming." He frowns, searching your face, for what? You're not sure.

"Just trust me. Find somewhere to stick this. I'll distract them." You say handing the little device to Kurt.

"But isn't that-"

"Hurry, Kurt." You say walking over to a big metal door that you're sure leads to whatever this place is really for. You bet if you had time you could get through it, but it'd be risky since you have no idea what's on the other side of it.

"Hey! You! Hands where we can see em!" A man shouts from behind you. You put your hands up near your head.

"Can you see them from here or would you like them higher?" You ask, spinning around to face your opponents.

"Don't move or we'll shoot." It's the same voice as before, it's coming from the short haired one on the left.

"Will you? That'd certainly make this a more interesting story." You smirk.

"Do not take another step!" The man on the right says.

"Or you'll shoot ya I heard you the first time. Although the more you say it the more it feels like a bluff."

"We aren't bluffing." The man on the left narrows his eyes at you.

"You look like you've never shot a gun in your life and you're holding that one so tightly I don't think you'd be able to hit me if you tried." You scoff at him. "You however look a little trigger happy. I bet your aim is pretty shit but at least you'll fire, maybe even knick me once if you shoot enough times." You address the other one.

"You really wanna test that theory?" The man on the right says.

"Do your worst." You say taking a step forward. Before either of them can do anything, you feel arms around your waist and if not for the blue color of them you'd have immediately flipped him but you can't even react. For several minutes the world flashes in and out too fast for you to process until eventually it stops and you realize you're at the edge of the treeline again. You stumble forward slightly when he lets you go.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine. Did you place the thing?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go." You say getting on the snow mobile. Back at the cabin, you turn to Kurt before you enter.

"Why did you do that back there?" You ask.

"They were going to shoot you. I thought you were in danger." Kurt answers immediately.

"Yeah darling this isn't the circus. These missions are dangerous."

"Why do you do that?" He furrows his brow.

"Do what?"

"Darling, sweetheart, honey. Do these words not mean something- romantic?"

"I use them a lot just as part of my vocabulary." You shrug.

"And- earlier when you... kissed me?"

"It was a diversion. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable." You say.

"No it- I just haven't-" Kurt shakes his head.

"Don't tell me you've never kissed someone."

"I have! Just- not that way."

"What do you mean?" You ask.

"Can I- show you?" He sounds hesitant and he's barely looking at you.

"Sure."

"I have kissed- but only, like this." Kurt says and then kisses you. It's basically a peck honestly.

"Oh. Well- I'm going to ask something very personal, you don't have to answer but- I'd like to ask." 

"Go ahead." He nods.

"Have you- ever had sex before?" You ask. Kurt looks about as shocked as you expected him to be.

"I- no."

"Is that why you were being so weird about sharing a bed?" That's the thing you really wanna know, but  you figured one would explain the other.

"I was nervous." He says.

"Nervous?"

"Who wouldn't be nervous sharing a bed with such a beautiful woman." Kurt says.

"You shouldn't say things like that or I'll think you like me." You smile.

"Would it be bad? If I did?" He asks.

"Well not necessarily. Why? Do you?"

"I- I think so."

"You think so?" You step closer to him. "You don't sound too sure about that."

"I think you are gorgeous, but you are an enigma. I can never tell what you are thinking or what you will do next."

"Right now I'm thinking about kissing you again. Which I really want to do next, but not unless you tell me you want me to."

"Not as a diversion?"

"Not this time." You shake your head. Kurt hesitantly closes the gap between the two of you, kissing you with his hands on your hips. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, kissing him furiously. To his credit, Kurt is keeping up with you better than you expected. You pull away after some time to open the door to the cabin and pull him inside by his shirt, kissing him repeatedly as you guide him down the hall to the bedroom.

"Now I'm thinking about how far you'll let me take this because if you don't tell me to stop I might just eat you alive." You say pushing Kurt onto the bed. He blinks up at you with wide eyes.

"You don't mean that literally, do you?" He asks and you chuckle.

"No, not literally." You shake your head.

"Then, take this as far as you want."

"Now that's a dangerous precedent." You hum.

"I trust you." Kurt says.

"That's sweet, although you should be more careful about trusting people you've only known a couple of days. What if I break you?"

"Will you?"

"No, not today anyhow. It's only your first time so I'll be gentle with you." You say sitting next to him.

"I do not know what to do." Kurt whispers.

"Don't worry, I do." You say cupping his face and kissing him again. You let your hand trail down his body until your fingers skate over his buldge. Kurt jolts against your touch and you smile into the kiss. He's so cute.

You rub the palm of your hand over his hard dick, loving the way his breathing hitches from the friction as he squirms. His head drops to your shoulder with a shuddering moan. Part of you just wants to pull reactions from him like this but another, louder part of you is dying to feel him buried inside you. You slip your hand under the waistband of his pants and underwear, relishing in the feel of him hot and heavy when you wrap your fingers around his dick and hear his sharp intake of breath.

"I need you to take these off." You tell him and he quickly shucks off his pants and underwear.

You dip down and drag your tongue up the length of his dick, starting at the base and circling the tip. Kurt makes a strangled sound that morphs into a groan when you fully take him into your mouth. His hands curl tightly into the sheets as you bob your head up and down, sucking him off, enjoying the way he pants and hisses from the pleasure. You can tell he's trying not to jerk his hips.

"I- I don't think I can take-" Kurt squeezes his eyes shut and as much as you want to push him over the edge, you have no idea what his refractory period is and you'd be pretty bummed if he was down for the count before you got to ride him, so you take the warning and release him with a pop.

He lets out a relieved breath and tips his head back as he allows his body to relax.

"Still wanna know what I'm thinking?" You ask shoving his shoulder so he lays all the way back on the bed.

"Always." He huffs out.

"I can't wait to see the look on your face when I ride you." You tell him pulling your shirt over your head and dropping your pants.

"Oh." He breathes and you're not sure what's got him more tongue tied, your words or the fact that you're now naked in front of him.

You take his dick in your hand again as you straddle him and after taking a moment to line him up you sink down. You're so wet that even without preparing yourself, he manages to fit. You grind down slowly, adjusting to the stretch as you take more of him with each rotation of your hips.

"Heaven help me." He whispers once you're fully seated. An almost commical contrast to the explitive you let out at the same time. You place your hands firmly on his chest and set your rhythm, riding him furiously.

Kurt's mouth drops open and his eyes widen as you bounce up and down.

When you catch his hands clenching at his sides you place them on your hips, your pace barely faltering as he grips you tightly. You're sure those claws of his will leave marks at the rate but you really don't care. The feel of him sliding in and out of your wet heat is all you can focus on.

"Y/n, I cannot- it's too much, I'm going to-" Kurt's eyes squeeze shut again and his hold on you tightens somehow.

"It's okay Kurt, go ahead, cum for me." You pant out keeping your pace steady. A few more grinds and Kurt is spilling into you with a long groan and his pretty face all scrunched up. You ride him through it, enjoying the heat now coating your walls. When you're sure he's released every drop, you roll off of him and he grabs your wrist when you move to stand.

"Wait-"

"I'll be right back."

"No- you did not... finish." He says. It's not a question, it's an assertion and you wonder how he's so sure.

"Yeah I- I didn't wanna hurt you by continuing while you were- like sensitive."

"But you also need to- have one."

"I mean-"

"Can I taste you?" Kurt asks and you blink at him in shock. Given that his cum is literally leaking out of you right now you're surprised by the request. "Please, I want to."

"Alright." You say. Kurt pulls you down to sit on the bed and drops to his knees in front of you. It all happens very quickly, before you know it, his head is buried between your thighs. His first few tongue strokes are experimental, getting a feel for you in his mouth. But only the first few, after that he laps at your cunt like a man starved.

His tongue is everywhere, licking your clit, exploring your insides, pumping the muscle in and out and around. It's too much and not enough, it's as if he actually plans to devour you and he seems to watch for what gets the best reactions from you. When a specific flick of his tongue makes you tangle your fingers in his hair he does the maneuver again and again relishing in the way you pull at the strands every time. You grind against his mouth, chasing your orgasm with his tongue. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks on the bundle of nerves, pulling an actual squeal from you. And he keeps at it, adding his tongue in what is apparently a lethal combination of stimulation because it doesn't take long him to pull you over the edge with a loud moan.

It takes a few moments for you to catch your breath and Kurt watches you from the ground the entire time.

"Are you happy with yourself now?" You ask half jokingly, tugging him by the arm off of the floor.

"I like bringing you pleasure." He says.

"You are just too cute." You chuckle laying back.

"What happens now?" He asks following your lead and laying back across the bed.

"We do what we came here to do. Although I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for recreation while we're here." You turn to look at him.

"I meant when we leave. What happens between us? Do you leave the mansion again? Do we pretend this didn't happen?"

"I dunno. Charles likes to send me away for things. Maybe we can convince him to let you come with me." You shrug, turning your gaze back to the ceiling.

"What if he says no? When will I see you again? What do I do until then?"

"You've asked seven questions so far and not one of them has been 'will you go on a date with me'. You're jumping ahead don't you think?" You ask.

"A date?"

"Well yeah. I mean unless all you're thinking about is hooking up."

"No! I just- you seem to be gone a lot. I wasn't sure you would want to be... attached."

"Be the reason I stay. Or be the reason I come back. Or come with me. Anything, just tell me that's what you want." You sit up to look at him.

"More than anything." He says sitting up.

"Good. Then we'll sort out the rest later. For now let's just finish this mission. And then we can talk about that date."

"Okay." He nods and you giggle at how adorable the action is. You're sure this isn't what Charles had in mind when he assigned you to the newbie's first mission, but you'll still thank him when you get back anyway. 

***

[lowkeyrobin]

Hey pookie😽I’d like to request headcanons for the mcyts with an actor/actress s/o.<3 Especially how they’d react to any emotional scenes or if the character that their s/o played dies, im craving some angst right now lol

Ly😻

oooo okay okay ; I'm still very much burned out but unable to give myself a damn break so I apologize for these being so short ; I also named movies to get some inspo so sorry if you don't know any/some of them lol

ALSO!! I'm gonna rework my oneshot links on my masterlist so beware any changes lol

MCYT ; actor reader with death scenes

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about death, gore & violence

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you played a character in evil dead rise, which tommy got really attached too even though you got like 10 minutes of screen time

genuinley started sobbing and laughing at the same time bc your death was so sad to him for some reason yet so cool and bloody

he looks over at you, jaw dropped like "wtf?"

there's actually tears streaming down his cheeks 💀💀💀

you post a pic of him crying on ur ig story and caption it "he's sad I died"

he logs back into his old letterboxd account to rate it 5 stars

his explanation is "my partner died but good movie. I almost cried again seeing the monster thing at the end though"

RANBOO

you had a little cameo in a quiet place pt2

basically your character was alive for a while and helping out the abbotts until you died saving reagan from one of the death angels

she obviously couldn't hear one behind her and your character had to lunge and save her and sacrifice themselves on the island that she ran off too iykwim

like your character went off with her to keep her safe + you died during that chase/fight scene at the end

ran nearly broke down into tears because you got a solid two hours of time in that movie for all that buildup and shit

TO DIE TOO

they started crying a bit cause like ???

literally gave you an award (a massive hug) for your incredible acting skills bc damn

FREDDIE BADLINU

insidious the red door goes crazy

you bond with dalton at college and help him float around and shit

the demon doesn't like that you're helping him whatsoever so it drags your character into the further

the whole kill is done with you exploring the further for a moment, being hunted down by prey and then jumpscared by the demon

it's not a very emotional death but it scares the fuck out of Freddie

"wait, oh my God, they'll never be able to talk to Dalton about supernatural stuff again! what the hell?"

the death was pointless and for a jumpscare but he couldn't care, he enjoyed watching you on the screen

NIKI NIHACHU

you were in the forever purge

you play a very obviously queer & pro-human rights character who's shit on by all the rich, conservative, ranch owning Texans in the movie

you basically had to sacrifice yourself trying to get to the border in time

in the city scene, you get killed as a protection sacrifice

no way you were letting adela die

niki literally started crying bc there was no reason for your character to give up their life but they did anyways

you were such a w the whole movie and she can't help but rant about that as well

she gives you a round of applause at the end cause like that was a damn good performance cmon now

ALEX QUACKITY

alex is never watching any terrifier movie ever again holy fuck

you skipped over the first one bc you couldn't even watch it again and went to the second because you were in it

he was actually on edge the whole movie

what the hell do you mean you were cut in half??? wtf is this?? saw???

he actually almost puked LMAO

you were laughing the whole time your death was playing

"WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?? THIS UGLY CLOWN IS KILLING MY PARTNER"

"that mf doesn't know you Alex, I do"

"Okay whatever"

[i-cant-sing]

Quick question do you hate Israel cause you’re saying that the indian anon is racist? Aren’t you also guilty since you’re condemning Israel which includes innocent people and defending Palestine? I get and feel pity at the injustice that the people of Palestine are experiencing right now… slaughtering of children and women but it doesn’t mean that Israel hasn’t suffered. Sorry that this may come negative but I just am tired to see people hating on all of Israel and invalidate their suffering because at the end of the day both nations have lost lives, children died, both sides loses. I blame both HAMAS and the corrupt and Xenophobic politicians of Israel that took advantage.

*sigh* I hope you don't take it too badly.... but you're so stupid. And ignorant. And stupid a couple more times.

I'm not even gonna try to defend myself against your false accusations, or even argue because I'm so dead tired of yall trying to think that there's ANYWAY to defend Israel rn when IDF is literally killing children, bombing hospitals, SNIPING KIDS AND ELDERLY.

Anyone who still thinks what Israel government is doing to Palestine because of its "right to defend itself/vengeance against HaMas" bullshit, yall do realise that if they can do it to Palestine in front of the ENTIRE WORLD, you bet your ass they can do it to you as well. You think they won't kill your kids, wipe out the existence of your entire families, make fucking tiktoks over your demise, ruins and dead?

Do you have any idea how idiotic you sound when you say "well, Israel suffered (whether you're referring to Holocaust or recently), um so Palestine should also suffer"?? By your logic, should we let all hell break lose and let the entire world go for ww3 because pretty much every country has suffered at one point or another.

What Israel government and the majority of its own people doing to Palestine is so bad is because Israel has suffered a genocide... and yet are committing one, at a much faster and worse rate??????

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 52 Hype Posting

Hi void. I am going to vibrate out of my seat. Oh I'm going feral, absolutely feral. Another WSJ cover and lead colour page next week already! Promotion on TV during prime-time in Japan! The insanely good volume 4 PV! Hokazono-sensei judging for a manga award! Kagurabachi's getting the push to be the Next Big Thing at last- you love to see it.

Kind of.

I want Hokazono-sensei to get all the recognition he deserves, but I also don't want the fandom to explode and become yet another annoying dudebro space. The success of the series is more important though, so I'm happy to see Kagurabachi get so much support. Everyone needs to know about this manga! ANYWAY.

LOOK AT THIS TROLL.

It's Chihiro's turn to have a creepy parasocial admirer now.

Hiruhiko's not doing this just for kicks, however- he deliberately (and successfully) triggered Chihiro to orchestrate his dramatic fall. Given what happened at the end of this chapter, I would not be surprised if Chihiro's literal descent is foreshadowing a metaphorical one of some kind down the line.

And this just breaks my heart:

Triggers Chihiro's rage then fucks off only to do this? I will not be mourning Hiruhiko's death.

Chihiro's not built for being a murder bot and it pains him so much to be seen as equivalent to someone like Hiruhiko. But he was taught to see things through and uses his hatred for the Hishaku to keep going. Revenge is probably the only thing he wakes up every day for- he wasn't kidding about that "fresh hatred" line in chapter 1. And neither was Shiba when he said living like this would break him. This kid needs a hug and a safe place to cry out the pain so badly, man...

More than that, though... more than anything...

HIRUHIKO'S THE FUCKIN' ANTI-HAKURI.

"We're equals", he says. "I killed my family", he mentions. "Let's be friends," he asks as he forces his way into Chihiro's life. "I'm the only one who can understand you." The hell you aren't you rat bastard. Hakuri's the one whose soul resonates with Chihiro's. He's the one Chihiro acknowledged as an equal and a friend. BEGONE, FOUL DEMON.

God damn it. Hokazono, I love you for making my most hated villain archetype into a character I want to see more of. I've never understood why playful psychopaths are so beloved but I get it with this guy. Smooth move making him the evil version of my favourite character in all of fiction, Mr. Author. Now I need Hiruhiko and Hakuri to face off over their ideals about who Chihiro really is. It would be the perfect reprise to the Sojo arc! PLEEEEEEASE. There's so much HakuHiro potential in this setup... Hakuri being the one to pull Chihiro forward again would be amazing. But not for his own goals this time- just to help Chihiro as a true friend and partner. Not gonna get too attached to this since it's just one potential development out of many... I won't let myself... (too late).

(Psst... 昼チ or 昼チヒ will probably be the JP ship tag/name for Hiruhiko/Chihiro. Ain't no way Chihiro is the top in this pair for most Japanese fujin lol.)

The Show

The main character of the play's name is Sasuke and Hokazono-sensei is a huge Naruto fan. So much so that he's taken his own spin on Naruto and Sasuke three times now (Enten, Roku no Meiyaku, Kagurabachi). Chihiro is, in fact, his OC donut steel character inspired by the most annoying emo ninja boy ever. I see you, Hokazono-sensei.

The Battle of Soshima might be a made-up title to reference the real historical event The Battle of Tsushima, which fellow Golden Kamuy fans will recognize. At any rate, there aren't any famous Japanese stage plays with the same name, so there's no direct narrative parallels to draw insight from (sad trombone noises). Fortunately for us Hiruhiko is a yapper like I hoped and tells us the plan pretty plainly anyway:

I relate so hard right now, random audience guy.

Hiruhiko says the plan to kill Chihiro's not a bluff. But he's not acting like he's intends to make good on that statement. So that means...

Perception vs Intent

Chihiro looking his best: stressed and menacing

This is gonna be huge I think. Remember what Azami said back in the Sojo arc in ch. 9:

Azami, please come back soon. I need you carnally.

Then consider likes like this...

Local violent gang member still pretty tough after becoming human shishkebab through a moving train.

Chihiro could be set up to tarnish his father's legacy.

The public doesn't know the true strength or capabilities of the weapons that won the war- they just know that Rokuhira Kunishige made them and they were the key to winning. So Chihiro dropping in on a stage play to splatter the audience with a headless corpse's blood is not a great first impression. He looks downright villainous in this scene. Awesome, but villainous.

The Hishaku are going to metaphorically "kill" Chihiro somehow. For some reason, tormenting this poor guy is absolutely vital to John's plans... it's probably more along the lines of Chihiro being a useful pawn to move around to create conflict they can exploit, but still. They're going to try to break his spirit this arc for sure. Leave Chihiro alone! He's been through enough!

I've got a hell of a lot to say about this but I need some key details from the next few chapters before going off on lunatic tangents. Fuckin' hell though, this is great. This is exactly the type of development I was hoping we'd see after Samura's chapter. Chihiro's committed to the cause of killing the Hishaku, who so far have been wholly unsympathetic villains. But killing is a wrongful act. And this chapter sets up that Chihiro might not be the sympathetic avenging swordsman we love him as in the eyes of the public- he appears to be more of a menace like some of the members of the Kamunabi accused him of. He might be challenged on his murderous modus operandi via a Hishaku-backed smear campaign. Seriously, using Chihiro's brutality against them to ruin his father's legacy would be so evil and cruel. I love it.

We'll be able to count on Shiba and Hakuri to make sure Chihiro doesn't go off the deep end at least. I wouldn't be surprised if Hiyuki played a pivotal role in helping Chihiro out this arc too, but I don't want to commit when we've hardly seen anything of her so far (my spaghetti sovereign... please come back to the main story full-time soon).

Whether or not I'm right (I'm not, I never am), Chihiro's murder sprees fueled by Fresh Hatred are going to get looked at in a critical way. High time and I am definitely here for it. Tell me what you've got to say about violent revenge motivated by grief, Hokazono-sensei. You have more space to examine the topic now compared to Farewell! Cherry Boy.

Shorter than usual but that's not a bad thing. I can always come back and edit this (came back to do so twice now already) or make another addendum post, but...

... Just choose kindness, people. For yourself and others. See you later.

[jelzorz]

144.

related to but does not follow on from this doodle

Callum has always been wary of the word quiet (and all of its synonyms) while working the night shift, but if there was one word to describe the state of tonight's Emergency Department, it would be (he hesitates and glances at the glass sliding doors just beyond the triage window) quiet as the fucking grave.

There are two of them tonight: him and the other intern, Rayla, who's chugging a coffee on the other side of the nurses' station and avoiding the eye of Viren, the on-call ED consultant, who's grumpy at the best of times and thinks coffee on the floor is trashy and unprofessional. They're on shift together relatively often, which is nice, because Rayla is friendly (and unfairly pretty for someone in wrinkled scrubs with permanent bags under their eyes), and at the very least, she makes these shifts less horrible for everyone involved. She's friends with all the nurses (even if Opeli, the nurse unit manager, finds her humour exhausting); she's on good terms with the Soren the paeds resident (they play soccer together apparently), and so far, she's only had to ask Viren to consult once, which is a feat in and of itself.

Callum likes to think that he and she are pretty good friends, but he would be lying if he said that's all he wanted them to be. She's just...

Soren sidles up to him and sets an elbow on his charts. "Out of your league?"

Callum scowls and shoves Soren off the bench. The fluorescents flicker above them, and Soren snickers and jabs a finger at the roof. "Careful," he teases. "They'll take that out of your pay."

Callum scowls again. "What are you even doing here? Paeds ED is that way."

"Yeah, it's empty, I'm not hanging out there by myself." He clucks his tongue and checks his pager for good measure which, unsurprisingly, has nothing for him. "I don't get you," he adds, twirling a pen between his fingers. "You guys are supposed to be friends. Why don't you just ask her if she wants to go out with you?"

"What are you, twelve? No one does that anymore."

"You can try Netflix and chill isntead—"

"Soren." Callum buries his head in his charts as a couple of nurses walk past in an effort to hide the redness rising in his cheeks. "Stop. You're gonna tell the whole hospital at this rate and, in any case, it's none of your business."

Soren raises an eyebrow. "Are you twelve?"

"No," says Callum shortly. "I'm professional, and it's not a good look to date your coworkers. Besides." He flushes some more. "You said it yourself. She's out of my league."

"You really are twelve, holy shit." Soren barks out a laugh, and Callum sinks further into his desk chair like it might help him disappear into the floor. Rayla, thankfully, hears none of it, because she's got an earphone in and what looks like a podcast playing on her phone. "Listen. I'm gonna give you some advice."

"Good lord," groans Callum. "What advice could you possibly give me that would help?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm good just as good at wooing women as I am with men—"

"Please stop."

"And it's not that unprofessional if you disclose it—"

"To who? Your dad?"

Soren cuffs his shoulder. "Just talk to her," he snaps. "Okay? It's literally not that hard. Just ask if she wants to get a coffee with you in the morning or something. You're killing the whole department with all your pining."

Callum snaps his mouth shut. He—somehow—flushes more. He sputters. "What do you mean the whole department—?"

"Yeah, we've all got eyes, dude, what do you think the nurses gossip about?"

Callum groans and sets his forehead against the desk, the charts cool against his skin. Highschool feels like it was a lifetime ago, and he'd been so grateful to get out but somehow—

Soren's pager beeps. He glances at and grins—which Callum doesn't think is the most appropriate reaction until Soren shows him the message on the screen:

Got u snacks. Waiting out front. --Corvus

Callum gives him a look. "Isn't that a hospital pager?"

"It's the paeds pager, A.K.A, I'm the only one that uses it, A.K.A, my boyfriend can message me on it if he wants." Soren slips it back into his pocket and fixes his hair using the reflection in nurses' station window. "If only you had a girlfriend who could page you," he says wistfully, sarcastically, and Callum has never wanted to throw his own pager at him more. "Talk to her," he says. "I have money on you. Don't let me down." He grins. He winks. He heads out the double doors and into the waiting room, leaving Callum alone at his desk with the pile of charts he still hasn't reviewed.

The fluorescents flicker tiredly. He sighs. Maybe coffee isn't such a bad idea.

[spocks-husband]

OKAY SO after forcing myself to finish Voyager I am finally watching Picard so I'm gonna liveblog my reactions to episode one for the Enjoyment Of The People. Spoiler warning obv lol

-the cinematography is so yass

-oh my god it's my husba DATA?????

-WHAT

-HELLO???

-or is that B4...?

-I have to rewatch the TNG movies :/

-When did Jean-Luc start drinking his tea with milk????

-i love my husband Jean-Luc so much hes so hot even at 83 <<3

-uhhhh what's. Oh my god. Oh it was a dream. Oh I'm gonna kill myself.

-THE DOGS NAME IS NUMBER ONE ☹️

-AWWW HE'S BACK IN FRANCE :(

-who are these new people

-i'm uncomfortable

-WHAT the fuck is up with the replicators

-OH DAMN LMAOOO THEY BOUTTA DIE

-omg I'm from Seattle too she's just like me fr fr

-me when I'm murdering bitches

-of course the Black boy dies immediately ‼️ yasss ‼️‼️

-Intro was kinda meh ngl :/

-why is there SO much piano going on

-my beautiful old man boyfriend...

-JEAN LUC SPEAKING FRENCH IS GONNA MAKE ME CUM.

-sorry ☹️

-omg ....... Who is this sexy romulan man......

-DECAF??????

-he looks so tired someone please let this man go home 😭😭 my poor baby Patrick :(

-literally who are these people

-I always forget about that the Romulan supernova happened outside STO 💀

-Why is she bullying my bf. Kill yourself.

-GOD HE'S SUCH A GOOD ACTOR I'M SCREAMINGGGG

-I need to perform this monologue

-literally who is this girl 😭

-can you leave my husband alone please

-the writing just took a random turn downward

-PLEASEEEE I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM

-stop looking at him like that 🤨🤨

-dahj has Mary Sue energy I'm sorry 😭

-STOP TOUCHING HIM I'M GOING FERAL

-i also hallucinate Data being in my backyard

-Its probably just because we have better camera quality now then we did in the nineties but Brent's contacts are making me so uncomfortable 😭

-why does he say stasis like that 💀

-THE PICARD DAY BANNER :(

-DAUGHTER??????

-didnt we already do this in that one TNG episode

-OHH wait is she an android

-i want Jean-Luc so bad no one understands

-WAIT OH MY GOD I JUST GOT IT

-I JUST UNDERSTOOD WHAT'S HAPPENING

-HOLY SHIT

-Why are they making this sad old man run so much he's in his 80s 😭😭

-WAIT DID SHE JUST DIE LMAOOO NO FUCKIN WAYYY

-Number One is my favorite character other than my boyfriend, he's so perfect

-"I haven't been living, I've been waiting to die" OKAY SO YOU CAN WRITE WELL YOU JUST CHOSE NOT TO FOR THE PAST LIKE TWENTY MINUTES LMAOO

-omg hi B4!!

-i miss data ☹️

-DR MADDOX???? UGHHHH

-PAIRS??? THERE'S TWO OF THEM????

-that transition was bomb asf

-HOT ROMULAN GUY HOT ROMULAN GUY why is he British OH MY GOD THERE'S THE OTHER ONE

-damn straight to the traumadump

-this dialogue is kinda stilted tbh

-erm is that a Borg cube 🤨🤨

Overall rating 6/10

[crimeronan]

now that the elation of being on-paper sick has worn off i'm back to getting my feelings hurt by innocent posts. anyway someday within the next few months i'm gonna be on a bunch of prednisone or other steroids and then i'm gonna do all my dishes and clean my whole house and go swimming and do my job and fix my life and it's okay that i fucking suck at doing any of those things now because i have a debilitating physical disability.

snide posts about how depressed people need to put on their big-boy pants and take care of themselves are not actually about me because what i am contending with is not depression. what i am contending with is a progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain. that is not the same as being too sad to get up and wash a dish.

generalized spoonie advice and outlooks feel too optimistic or out-of-touch or non-applicable to me because they aren't applicable to me because what i am contending with is not an average spoonie experience. it is a specific progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain.

if i feel bad and need to rest and don't pull my weight in my relationships it's because i need to wait to be treated with steroids and in the meantime i just need to hold on. i am not required to do anything else to take care of myself. my body is eating itself with a condition that has a high rate of fatal complications and literally my only job is not to die.

my only job is not to die. that is the only thing i need to do right now. any posts saying that people need to do anything else for self-care or for being a good person or for having healthy relationships are not applicable to me, because my circumstances are highly specific. healthy people need to take steps to better their lives. people like me need to rest until our doctors can help us because overtaxing ourselves might kill us.

a depressed person being too sad and hopeless and miserable to get up is being lied to by their brain. my brain is not lying to me when it tells me that i need to rest because my body is on fire.

my only job right now is not to die.

[normalaboutmedia]

chopping mall (1986) review

continuing my obsession with 80's horror with a famously Good Bad movie, Chopping Mall has everything i could want and more: at times it's hilariously poorly acted and ridiculously written, but its competently shot and an absolute joy to watch! clearly made by people who know how to make a movie and also really know how to have fun.

sometimes with Good Bad movies i find that the really silly parts are fun, but the rest of the movie drags. but with Chopping Mall, i was enjoying myself thoroughly from start to finish. whether it was genuinely cool camera shots and sequences, or extremely cheesy lines and awful vfx, this movie was so incredibly endearing and fun for me and it's definitely one i'll be revisiting (and definitely own on dvd soon)

i'm gonna post some "spoilers" for the movie below so if u wanna go in a bit more blind here's my generic pitch: teens getting frisky after hours in the mall start getting killed by paul blart robo cops in increasingly ridiculous ways. there is a lot of Mall but interestingly, absolutely zero Chopping

(mind altering substances not necessary but highly encouraged for this viewing)

overall rating: 10/10 literally whats not to like

some of my favorite moments under the cut (i'm leaving out the most iconic death and the ending because i think it is WELL worth the watch and if you havent already seen it then i think u desereve to see it in context)

extremely cheesy animated Skeleton Shock effect (and all the animated effects in general):

the killbots Signature Post-Kill Catchphrase:

and of course, the line that pretty much sums it all up:

if you've read this far wowww thanks for reading im kissing u kissing u kissing u

and if you watch Chopping Mall, let me know what u think! my ask box and dms are open <3333

thank you, have a nice day!

[gonad-transformer]

For the five point axis kink rating: cannibalism, gore, and primal play :3

Ah jesus babe, I gotta do fifteen separate axis ratings now!! And they all have so much overlap!!

Gonna start with primal cuz my interest in the other two kinda originates there tbh

Primal

Simplicity: 10/10. Literally anything you can do in this space is fucking hot holy fuck

Eros: 10/10. I'm a painslut and I love to be bitten and scratched and manhandled and used, it feels fucking good. And it's exhilarating as fuck to be on the giving side of it

Agape: 10/10. Desire to the point of primal and unstoppable ferocity is like. Fuck, it does things to me. Fear and empowerment and disinhibition and intensity and exhilaration. And like, for me, on the receiving side, being wanted that intensely is deeply comforting. It's so fucking good

Narrative possibility: 7/10. I think at its most basic it is kind of a one-trick pony. There's A Predator, There's Prey, Predator Fucks Prey Hard. Or sometimes There's Two Predators, They Each Fight To Fuck The Other Hard. But if you add other stuff alongside it — I think most commonly (or perhaps just most appealingly to me) owner/pet or similar dynamics — then you can get into some really juicy narrative territory

Problematicity: 9/10. You've got aggression, sadism, masochism, pretending to be animals in a sexual setting... it usually at least brushes up against non-consent and/or snuff. If the kinds of people who are liable to yell at strangers about their kinks ever find this post (or this blog, really) I'm never gonna hear the end of it

Cannibalism

Simplicity: 6/10. Like, I'm into this, but only really in a primal form. Hannibal Lecter coolly and methodically killing, butchering, cooking, and eating people does fuckin nothing for me. Someone tearing into me with their hands and teeth and feasting greedily and messily on my warm, raw flesh gets me fuckin going. But like, as long as you've satisfied that particular distinction, it takes very little else to make it work, and as long as that initial intensity is present in some way you can subsequently take it in less visceral, more "refined" directions and I'll still eat it up, as it were :3

Eros: 7/10. Warm, wet, slick. Flesh and meat and intensity etc.

Agape: 10/10. Again, like... desire to the point of ferocity, to the point of ravenous consumption... fuck dude, it's so good

Narrative possibility: 8/10. You can get creative with this shit and the contexts surrounding it

Problematicity: 10/10 lmao are you kidding me

Gore

Simplicity: 5/10. My tastes here are still kind of nascent and evolving, and as yet there's a somewhat narrow range of gore that I find truly appealing. I'm not much a fan of overt focus on organs/entrails themselves (with the heart being a very notable exception); medical-adjacent gore, e.g. vivisection or invasive surgery, doesn't do a whole lot for me; I'm not super into snuff qua snuff, although it's kind of unavoidable in this space and there's certainly plenty of cases where it works for me; and I'm not really into necrophilia at all. I'm here for the ecstatic intimacy and vulnerability of a living person's inner workings laid bare. The warmth and intensity of flesh and blood and muscle and sinew. It's an expression of passion first and foremost

Eros: 7/10. To repeat myself: warmth, intensity, flesh, blood, muscle, sinew. To be inside of someone, or to have someone inside of me, in a vastly more intimate and visceral way than simple penetration sounds fucking hot. That said, it's actually kind of rare that gore gets me physically aroused, hence the score being as low as a 7; this is a much more psychological kink for me

Agape: 10/10. To repeat myself again: ecstatic intimacy and vulnerability. Intimacy and vulnerability that go far beyond the bounds of the safe or sane, that violate a person's most basic physical barriers. If more than one person is opened up, you've got the possibility of merging and intermingling bodies and beings in a truly grotesque and utterly intimate way. It fucking rules

Narrative possibility: 10/10. Tbh I think gore kind of thrives on the narratives surrounding it. Like, it's very nice in isolation, but it shines best as an element of a larger narrative. And there are so many ways for a story to involve gore. This is the most narratively versatile kink in this little trio, I would say

Problematicity: 10/10 lmao are you KIDDING me

[bardicbeetle]

sitd (blatant self indulgence) - decanter

Inspired by these. Probably the third or seventh is the one I'm envisioning.

Daniel comes back from two nights visiting Ellie and finds an atrocity on the kitchen table.

Well.

No.

He finds Moira sitting on the kitchen table. Holding a glass… sculpture? It’s a network of hollow tubes that spread out from a single point. Like roots. Like veins.

She’s got it in one hand, a glass stopper stuck in her mouth, and in the other hand—tipping slowly into this glass monstrosity—

—is the bottle of his blood.

Which doesn’t help the visual. Watching red trickle through all the little pathways, all filling at different rates as the liquid changes course and Moira shifts to keep from spilling anything.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

What the fuck is she doing?

More importantly why.

He’s too fucking tired for this.

Daniel should really just drive to North Carolina when Ellie wants to see him. Jumping there takes so much out of him that the extra time spent on the road would about equal out to how much exhaustion he’ll have to sleep off.

He should especially consider it when he comes home to something like whatever this is.

“Art project.” Moira says, barely intelligible with the stopper still clutched between her teeth.

“You’re not displaying that.” Daniel starts, “I keep that bottle because you and Jesse are prone to pulling dangerous shit and I don’t feel like cutting myself open every time you—”

“—told you he’d hate it.” Jesse cuts across as he comes down the stairs.

Oh good, it had been planned.

Daniel drops into one of the chairs, unable to look away from…what even is it?

“Aaaaaand—” Moira pops the stopper out of her mouth, sets down the now empty—perfectly normal, perfectly functional—bottle, and seals the…statue. “—done!”

The many end points of the statue hit the table with a dull thunk. There is about an inch of headspace before the stopper, where Daniel watches his own blood separate into little droplets and slip down to join the rest. He looks at it for a long moment, then up at Moira who is already rinsing the old bottle out into the sink. Very deliberately ignoring him.

“Moira,” Daniel sighs, “no. Just, no.”

“Who’s gonna see it?” Moira asks when she returns, sliding a steaming mug in front of Daniel before perching in her preferred spot on the breakfast counter. “God knows we don’t get company who isn’t already aware of the situation.”

“I have to see it,” Daniel argues “and I think it’s fucking creepy.”

Jesse huffs a very quiet laugh as he joins Daniel at the table, pushing the thing a little further away. “Dan, love, I adore you—we literally kill people.”

@cjjameswriting / @falling-rivers / @maabonwrites / @blve0 / @inexorableblob / @blueberrypoptart / @betwixtofficial / @drowsy-quill / @ezwriting / @ofinscriptions / @vaguelyhumanekid / @meatandboneasmr / @h-faith-marr-writeblr / @necros-writings / @poetinprose / @flyingbananasaur / @oldestenemy / @multi-lefaiye / @dotr-rose-love / @abalonetea / @albatris / @incandescent-creativity / @kaiusvnoir /

[funnuraba]

ME/CFS symptoms part 2: The Fatigue

Hey, have you guys noticed how everyone is tired recently? Like, everybody you know is exhausted, and so are you, and so is everyone on the internet and in real life, and nobody's getting better, and sleep and rest don't help?

In addition, are you having new symptoms like tingling hands and feet? Dizziness or lightheadedness? Restless legs? Digestive problems? Slow thinking? Word confusion? Tinnitus or other hearing loss? Vision loss? Stomach problems? Sinus issues? Sleep disturbance or change? Soreness? New, worsening or changing migraines? Heart palpitations? New sensitivity to the weather? Joint pain? New chronic pain spots? Dark patches on your torso? Hair loss? New incontinence at an unusual age without having had children? Do you feel like you have the flu after heavy exertion?

Yeah I was having a lot of that myself. Turns out it was Long Covid, the Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome type, which makes up 50% of all Long Covid cases. I can't sugarcoat this: if you have this, you are fucked to some degree. You have to reduce the amount of energy you use or you'll degenerate further into actual living hell. That means no stimulants, no pushing through it, no exercise at all, period, no I'm not joking, exercise makes you worse with this condition.

And not just physical exertion, but mental exertion. The energy it takes to put things into words, to look at screens or movement on screens, to digest food. All of that is way more than you think. You need to figure out your new limits, because aggressive rest is the only way you stand a chance of staying in the Mild stage. This may mean ending your social life, ending travel, working from home, quitting your job. If you don't do it, you'll wish you had.

Aggressive rest means staying in bed a lot. Doing nothing. At least an hour a day of literally nothing: you lie there with earplugs in and an eye mask on. It's gonna be awful. But I'm not exaggerating: Moderate ME/CFS is hell on earth, and there are two stages after that: Severe and Very Severe. Your body physically can't restore energy in a normal way anymore. If it runs out, you'll get Post Exertional Malaise, and if you get too much of that you "crash".

A crash keeps you from doing anything. You won't be able to process sound or light, you probably won't be able to get out of bed. You may not be able to sit up. You might struggle to breathe. You may get out of the crash in a day, in a week, in months--or never. Every single crash has the potential to become a permanent loss of function. People have lost the ability to digest food and the muscular strength it takes to breathe. There are people who do nothing but lie in the dark all day, unable to tolerate light or sound, being fed through a tube port by a caretaker who has to hurry out of the room because the physical presence of another human being is too painful. And those are the lucky ones who have non-abusive caretakers; almost no doctors or professional carers believe in this disease or are equipped to treat someone who has it. You can be legally tortured in the hospital if you go in for a procedure and the doctors think you're lying about what hurts you.

If it sounds like I'm trying to scare you? Yes. I am. I spent six months toward the lower end of Moderate ME. Hell is real. You will pray for death. You will not be physically able to kill yourself. This is why all those annoying disabled people keep screeching about wearing respirators to prevent Covid spread, because your odds of getting this go up with every infection, vaxxed or not, and many people already have it. They don't know yet. And they're pushing their way past their late chance to mitigate their descent into, I am not exaggerating, hell itself. You will want to fucking die if you get to a certain stage of this condition. ME/CFS patients have a high suicide rate and report a quality of life lower than end-stage cancer and AIDS patients.

So, again, are you tired all the time lately? Do you know someone who is? Look up the symptoms of ME/CFS and be very, very careful. And wear a fucking respirator in public spaces. All the time. No taking it off for selfies or indoor eating. You people are killing yourselves and everyone else for an illusion of normality that is never ever coming back.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Bungie got me all hype with the Exotic Class Items but the fact that they can only be used with Prismatic is such a buzzkill considering Hunters by far got the shortest end of the Prismatic stick. I get that it's supposedly for balance purposes or whatever, but it's still ass.

I just want to use my Assassin + Synthoceps with Lethal Current but instead I'm stuck with fucking Ascension which is total ass. Like even if I never use it, I'd sooner take Tempest Strike to Ascension, who the fuck uses Ascension.

And as an added bonus fuck you, I know it breaks precedent but I don't care, I wish Bungie would make an exception and let us equip any ornament to the Exotic Class Item because both the default and the ornament in the shop are kinda trash and it really fucks with me assembling any sense of a fashionable build.

I thought about doing a full review for the expansion but I'm not sure that I want to because I think I'll be really living up to my URL so here's the cliff notes version (spoiler alert: I clearly don't understand the meaning of the term "cliff notes"):

Gameplay-wise I thought it was pretty good. Obviously, as a Hunter main, I think Prismatic was kind of all hype with nothing to show for it, but I acknowledge that this is because I've only played Hunter. I don't think this discounts my take on it much though because it should've been good for all classes, and it just wasn't for us. Boo hoo, I guess. But the missions themselves were good. Overflows, while I'm sick of them now, I think are objectively the best "Public" Events (aside from Escalation Protocol RIP). I love the gun No Hesitation, it definitely aided in my friend and I finishing some of those later missions on Legend by being able to heal him and by extension myself.

Story-wise I thought it was very contrived and bad, aside from the ending. The Cayde stuff was pretty good, I thought, contrivance-aside. The Zavala stuff was very very bad. I had two major gripes with it, one of which I'll grant you is my own personal thing, but the big one which isn't personal is that we've literally already told this story before so why are we suddenly retreading it? Season of the Haunted already dealt with Zavala's dead family and he made his peace with it, but now all of a sudden he's not at peace with it and is tempted by the Witness to get his family back? I'm sorry but that's just contrived and boring.

My lesser, personal gripe was with Keith David voicing him... I'm sorry, but the guy only has one voice and I already associate him with the President from Rick and Morty, so the entire time I'm playing I'm not taking anything seriously because all I hear is the President. I swear, they even wrote Zavala lines that straight up sounded like shit the President in that show would say. This, compounded with the fact that they couldn't actually pull the trigger on killing Zavala off, meaning at some point Keith David's gonna have to come back to voice him, it just bothered me. I actually could've looked past his voice entirely if they killed him off because then I'd at least be able to understand that they were put in an awkward position with Lance Reddick dying.

The ending was pretty good at least. I liked the "We... I..." moment as the Witness is dying, I thought that was pretty good writing. Excision was honestly such a cool mode, I kind of wish they'd do more like that but I understand it's technically-complex.

I'm unsure of how I'd score it exactly. By far it has probably the most content since Forsaken, but arguably the third worst story (above Shadowkeep and Lightfall). I want to rate it highly because of how much fun I had the past few weeks since it came out, but I am hung up on the lackluster addition of Prismatic and the awful story.

Overall, I guess I'll call it a 7/10.

[dimonds456-art]

vent art below the cut, as well as an explanation for it. it's a mess on purpose. read the tags.

Starting off positive, here's how I draw myself now :) Style improvement! And my mustache hairs are growing in and one of them is over a centimeter long and it's my pride and joy.

okay now onto everything else. fucking help me. /ns

Gonna start with the butterfly imagery, since it's a reoccurring theme when I talk about my disabilities. The butterfly is because of my Graves Disease, which is a subgenre of hyperthyroidism. What's that? Uh basically there's a gland in your throat called the "thyroid" that's shaped like a butterfly, and it's responsible for your ENTIRE METABOLISM, and mine decided to do cocaine one day and never stopped. This results in increased heartrate, shaky hands, dizziness, and an eye disease where your eyes swell and can make you go blind if not treated.

(and no mine is not currently being treated so. :) )

I've had Graves since middle school, and I will for life. For reference of how bad it got before I got treated after 6 months of suffering, if I ran around outside for 5 minutes my heart rate could get up to 220 BPM. Which can kill you. Somehow I only ever saw stars once.

The next imagery I wanna point out is the layers on me. I show some things as brighter, and there's two layers like that- a bright one and a much dimmer one, which is why I kept this a sketch. The bright one is the surface-level disabilities, such as joint weakness, my eye disease, and my swollen thyroid. The dimmer one is my brain and skeleton. I have never actually broken my bones, but for some reason these days, joint weakness has me and they'll just fucking stop working sometimes for no goddamn reason.

The diamonds on my shirt is obviously a reference to my name, "Dimonds456." The design was actually made by my abuser, and so I actually am starting to have some second thoughts about using this particular design despite how much I love it, thus the shattered idea. Plus, diamonds don't break- they shatter. I'm about to shatter, too, so it's just like me fr.

After that, the text all around me. There are three layers. Let's talk about the black ones first. Those are all my disabilities. That's it. To make it easier to read, they're:

Autism

Anxiety

PTSD

Mental regression (probably because of all the other mental shit I'm dealing with)

Depression

ADHD

Weakness in joints

Inhaler as needed

Tires easily

Abuse

Graves Disease

On meds for life (methimazole literally keeps me alive)

Eye disease

Prone to falling

Eating disorder: ARFID ?????

Asthma

Audio processing disorder

Trauma

:,)

Then, the blue layer. The blue and red layers and kinda having a conversation with each other, with blue being my inner monologue and the red ones being still that, but more intrusive and hopeless. The blue thoughts range from "I can't do this" to "I want to," to "Wait, this is too much" to "STOP" to "THIS IS TOO MUCH" and various stuff like that.

The red texts are much, much more negative. "Running out of time." Never safe. I will never feel safe." "My own body wants me DEAD." "NEVER SAFE." "WHAT IS SAFETY?!" these are my intrusive thoughts, and... yeah. My anxiety and trauma already make me feel like I can never be safe in the spaces I'm in, so when I do actually feel safe with the people or location I'm in, my body's there to remind me that no, I'm not. Because I could literally just die at any goddamn moment.

Which brings me to the scythe. The Reaper. He's close. I'm running out of time. To do what? I don't know, live? Impact people? Fucking exist?

The clock shows that, too.

Finally, the dialogue bubbles. The straw that broke the camel's back in terms of me making this art. My recent doctor visit. I'm trans. I'm a demiboy who just wants to figure out what my fucking gender is. I know I want top surgery, but the dr says I HAVE to start HRT in order to get the surgery I want, which is enbyphobic. I've talked about it with other trans people, and we all agree what the dr told me was fucked.

The other bubbles are other things people have said to me. Particularly, I wanna talk about the "are you ACTUALLY disabled?" one because so so so so so many people have fucking asked me that and I want to scream. Like gee, I dunno, maybe it's all in my head. Maybe I'm normal. Maybe my graves disease was all a FUCKING DREAM. The eating disorder I'm getting now that not even the doctors are sure what the fuck it is wasn't real, I'm just a picky eater and I am just a fucking attention-seeking masochist. SURE. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.

Shut the fuck up.

The butterfly is actively choking me. I'm loosing weight. I've felt more anxious recently than I ever have in my fucking life. I have a goddamn eating disorder where I physically CANNOT EAT. It sounds like ARFID but it's also not quite that, I'm in a weird grey area.

i'm 20 years old.

Ever since I got diagnosed with Graves in middle school, I've felt like my existence was defying something. Like I was supposed to die. I also had intense depression at the time, so that definitely added to it, but yeah. Then more happened. I had my first fall. I got put on the wrong dosage and nearly got killed. Struggled to breathe. My eyes tear up more often due to the disease, and I have an aversion to light I didn't have before. The eating disorder. Not to mention my bad knee, weakness in joints, pain in hips, ect.

It just keeps piling up. More, and more, and more, and more disabilities appear and try to catch me by surprise. I got deathly ill last winter. I quit college this year because of the trauma of being outside while on my wrong dosage from last summer. But this time, I'm fucking freezing when I'm anywhere except in the sun, which still makes me feel viscerally uncomfortable, because of whatever the fuck is happening with my eating disorder.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't know how much farther I can go. I'm running out of time. I can't handle another disability. I just can't. If I wind up getting appendicitis or something I'm running back home to my parents and staying there because at least they make me feel SAFE.

I'm not safe. I will never be safe inside this body. I will never feel safe because of my anxiety and trauma. I'm reaching a boiling point where it's starting to spill over onto those around me and I hate it. I am aware that this post is not helping that at all. But... I just don't wanna suffer in silence anymore. I'm tired. I want to be a good memory, but I fear my time is coming and I don't have much more "memory" to make.

I want to be wrong. Please, stars, let me be wrong. Let this all be in my head. Let this all be one big misunderstanding on my part. Please. Please let me wake up and realize that this was all a fucking nightmare.

I can't look at this screen anymore. My eyes hurt and my wrists are starting to give out.

[moosethren]

I saw your notes on this post https://www.tumblr.com/moosethren/717347673558155264?source=share you reblogged and I fully agree with what you said in the notes. Firstly, I am very tired of the Star Wars trope of "man adopts child" (we see this in TCW with Ahsoka, Rebels with Ezra, Mando with Grogu, TBB with Omega, Kenobi with Leia, etc) and seeing how the TBB series' narrative is specifically made for the man adopt child trope hurts the series overall, in my opinion.

As you mentioned in your tags, Hunter has practically no personality aside from, literally, "Omega". People will say that his personality has changed due to the changing times and stress, but how he's shown and displayed in the show canon directly is having a personality designed for the main child character and nothing else. He had zero development and has changed absolutely none at all since TBB season one. His decisions are still made solely for the narrative (going back to Cid's for AZI solely because the writers needed to find a way to have them captured, even though they could have contacted Rex or found a medic literally anywhere else) and for Omega. I am doubtful we will see much development for Hunter that isn't revolving constantly around Omega in season three, let alone with the other men. All of the men are developed for her, rather than for themselves or for the sake of them being expanded upon, which completely shortens their purpose to just existing for the narrative and Omega - which none of them deserve.

I want more from the show than we will ever get, and seeing the TCW Bad Batch turning into "men who adopt children" and losing the joking, brotherly love they displayed in TCW. But that's just my thoughts on it, since I saw your tags and became intrigued to see someone else feeling a similar way as myself.

Oh, man, I couldn't agree more.

I still don't even know why AZI is with Cid in the first place, when they could have handed him over to Rex where he'd be useful. They went through all that trouble to save him in S1 (Omega nearly died, Crosshair had a huge thing of saving him and her) and then he ends up a frigging waiter droid at Cid's...

There's so many weird decisions/mistakes that TBB does just because of the honestly poor writing at this rate, cause they seem determined to yeah, have the narrative involve purely her. I don't know why the show isn't just called "Omega". And I get it, she's the person the audience/kids sees stuff through but come on... I expected to watch stuff about the Bad Batch and their relationships with each other, in a show called The Bad Batch. Now it's just a few men following this kid around and letting her decide everything and get them into trouble with no consequences.

(spoilers but I guess you've seen it all) Also because this is getting LONG.

Ever since the end of S2 my interest has plummeted because my fave character was offed after having had a 'full character arc with OMEGA' (since that's clearly all that matters), Hunter's only personality trait is being a 'dad' and I'm not interested in that either. Poor Wrecker has so much potential but it's squandered per usual and Echo's just kinda there, when he seems much happier being with Rex. Crosshair is my second fave but he's gonna be trapped with Omega which means his writing is going to go from really good to well, not that great.

What's worse, there's yet another media that is going towards the same trope atm and I'm frankly losing it. It seems like it's just me and one other who really dislike the trope (and you, which, yay, we're not alone 😂) I could go on about this for ages but I know it's a very unpopular opinion. But it's honestly ruining the show for me. And the trope, which I used to kinda like.

Imagine a show based on an adult sibling dynamic, which we're sorely lacking.

But again I'm the wrong audience for this and shouldn't have expected anything else, and at the moment I don't trust these writers anymore. (plus them killing off the autism rep sits really wrong with me.)

I want to like Omega (even if I'm not a big fan of child characters in the first place) but her writing and the show's direction makes it very difficult.

At the moment I'm re-writing the entire show without her in it and I'm honestly having much more fun making the Batch work together through this ordeal. Sure, I have a few OCs involved but they're not removing the Batch's claws as it were. But since the canon show is kinda just eh to me atm, that's my solution to it, so if anyone's upset about that well... they have a whole show out there to enjoy.

I'm glad for those who do like where the show is going and who love the trope 'cause they're being fed well, but the rest of us, well, some of us are getting salty and that's okay too.

[trenchcoatsbi]

hallo!! its your nonbinary egg prosecutor again to talk about kin stuff :DDD, I hope you guys are doing alright with the entire thing with wil..and because rn things on the qsmp are a bit of a mess with the team, but I'm here to whip you guys back to reality and send you a lot of hugs!! this is a bit of a random thing but usually when I kinshift to franziska I picture myself as her young self either baby fran (that is basically child franziska) like rn or rookie prosecutor where she was like 13 and rarely when she is 18, maybe because I'm a teenager?? but I'm not really sure I was wondering if it could be an agere thing but I am not so sure about that either, regardless of that I'm feeling much more calm regarding everything that has been going on qsmptwt is burning ig? but eh not my issue at all I'm sure things will turn out fine in the end, I have faith in quackity as well as the admins

welp! see you later folks!!! please take care of yourself :DDD

-(cannon divergent llulah anon) franziska von karma ace attorney⭑

oh geez i didn't realize this was still in the inbox! I coulda sworn that I responded to it! ah curse my faulty memory! anywho geez sorry for leaving you on read so to say? i mean its not a big deal i just ughghg I like talkin to ya. lowkey sucks to realize i've left ya hanging but eh that's just how it is sometimes.

anyway franziska!! hi hello! happy to hear from you again :]! Hope things are all good with you too! Stuffs been fucked lately but I'm gonna pull through, t's gonna take a lot more than a little stress to kill me. [also thanks for the hugs. sending some your way too! hope they find you well]

Kinda piggy backin off of your thought cause t's really interestin to me. I remember a lil while back I'd align a lot more with the uh younger version of one of my kintypes but with time it's kinda shifted? idk augh I'm just more prone to reminiscing abt stuff that's more related to source which happened when I was older.

Just in general I've been thnking abt how like almost all of my kintypes are older than me rn. Feels weird tbh always thinkin I'm older than I am, but eh t's probably just a me skill issue on top of my habit of being old men in terms of kin stuff. Seriously some one stop me from being old geezers with children, I'm too young to be adopting people at the rate I've been at it...

Anyway I'm gonna just cut myself off there. The rest of my rambling can go into my private journal it's all a bit much haha. aight I'm gonna get back to responding to asks faster again I swear. I'm gonna claw my way back into being on top of things one way or another. I miss this blog which is a weird thing to say but idk I think about yall anons a lot. You all take care and all that! The eleventh month anniversary is right around the corner (it's the 16th so uh yeah literally just right there) and I might be sappy abt it again but I think I'll save the really sappy shit for the 1 year anniversary. yall watch out!!! it's ridiculous how easy it is for me to be emotional abt people I pretty much just know through an inbox.