#literally i look up ways to *** every single day dude and i just have to like. live that way
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babyfairy · 1 year ago
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i need more friends
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cosmosis · 1 year ago
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MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - jealousy
miguel gets jealous possessive after a new intern flirts with you this is part of the same universe as my call oneshot!
Being 2nd in charge of the multiverse is... honestly not that hard for you. It’s mostly just co-leading, and being a secretary. Lyla helps out a bunch, but sometimes, a sassy AI can only do so much. 
Jess informed you of a new intern she recruited. Apparently, he’s having his first day today, which means you’ll probably have to do a quick run-through of things with him later. 
For now, it’s your fated duty to sit with Miguel at his desk so he doesn’t get all pouty later. He starts huffing and puffing when you aren’t near, takes it out on the kids sometimes. 
Thanks to your suggestion, Miguel invested in a nice desk and swivel chair for the office, so now it looks more like an actual workspace instead of a maniac’s plot room. (either way, he his one lmao)
Since Lyla’s gone for the time being, you’re standing up on the office platform, tapping away at a multitude of screens. Miguel lays lazily in the office chair, swiveled up behind you to rub his face into your upper back, as well as run his hands along your tummy. 
“Hun, you gotta let go. I needa tour the intern.” You mutter, closing in on an ID photo of the recruit.
“No.“
“Well, if I don’t do it, then who will?“ You ask. 
“Jess.“
“She’s busy on her break. Pregnant women need breaks, you know.“
“Ugh. I don’t want you to leave.“ He whines. squeezing you tighter. 
You start squirming out of his grip, pulling his pinky off of your stomach. Inching away, you push Miguel away by his head. Reluctantly, he starts letting you go, lazily running his hands onto the skin of your hips and lower thighs before letting go. 
“I’ll see you in a bit, baby.“ You say, scuffing up his hair with your palm. Gracefully, you leap down from the platform, somersaulting onto the floor and skating out the exit. You hop over a few stray cardboard boxes. 
Miguel watches you stroll away, and fixes his hair back into place. 
Lyla magically appears, phasing in and out with a different sly look each time. She snickers, flickering all around Miguel’s head. 
“Whipped.“
“Shut the fuck up.“
. . .
Miguel’s blood starts to boil as soon as you roll in with that stupid, bastard of an intern. He’s too close to you for comfort, so close to his arm nudging yours... Miguel’s teeth start to clench, his fangs close to drawing blood from his mouth. He’s paying too much attention to you, there’s a vibe he gets that he hates to his core. 
Everything about him is aggravating; the blonde hair, the snarky smirk, all of it.  
“...and this is Miguel’s office!“ You say, gesturing your hand to the majority of the area. 
“Sweet, nice to meet the bossman.“
Bossman, his ass. Miguel would only ever let you call him bossman. 
“Miguel! Come down!“ You yell, and his heart warms in his chest. He turns around from his standing form on the office platform, eyeing the intern in order to scare him a bit. 
“Hey, what’s up man! Glad to finally meet the man behind the slaughter!“ The intern exclaims, his hands rested on his hips. 
Miguel fights every urge to both roll his eyes and tackle the recruit, keeping a somewhat straight face on. He chuckles a little, not a single trace of a smile on his face. 
“Heh, yeah? Excited to meet the bossman?“ Miguel taunts, but it looks like the intern can’t tell he is. 
“Heck yeah dude! Where do I start?“
Miguel starts nodding a little, plastering on a face smile, chuckling a bit...
Before he throws the entire office chair at the recruit. Not to hit you, though. He’d never, ever hit you. 
Instantly, the intern turns away, shielding his body with his hands. In the nick of time, though, you latch your webbing onto the chair, slinging it away to side before it could harm anyone. You cross your arms. 
“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry about tha- MIGUEL!“ You scream. 
And he throws a literal file cabinet at the man. Again, you latch it out of way without problem. 
“What th'heck, man?! What’s your fuckin’ problem?!“ The intern yells, spreading his arms out. 
“My fuckin’ problem is you nagging my wife!“ He roars. 
“Wait a sec- she’s your wife?“
Miguel then  leaps down from the platform, chin held up high in a sinister glare. Slowly, he steps over towards the both of you, fixing his eyes on the intern the entire time. 
Miguel’s tall, really tall compared to the newbie. He pokes his finger to the recruit, leaning in real close. 
“Stay at least 5 feet away from my wife at all times.“ Miguel utters, and you kinda feel bad for the new guy. 
You cross your arms. “C’mon, Miguel. He’s literally new, take it easy on him!” You say back, and Miguel pouts, whines. Possessively, he reaches over to you, pulling in you in by the hip to try to soothe you. It doesn’t work, and you present yourself from giving into his needy touches.  
And then, you turn around back to the newbie. “Gosh, I’m so sorry about that! He’s usually not like this-”
“Man, fuck this.“ The intern exclaims, taking a few steps back in agitation. “Take me back home, I ain’t dealin’ with this shit!“
He storms off, kicking a stray cardboard box on the way out. 
“Aw, crap.“
“Finally.“
You swerve back around, hands on your hips. “Miguel, that was uncalled for.”
“Yes it was! He was smothering all over you!“ He yells, throwing his hands up in the air like it was the most obvious thing ever. 
“Well, now thanks to you, we lost a recruit.“
“One of literally thousands!“
“And now, there’s papers everywhere on the floor!“
“Shhh, honey, I’ll clean it up later.“
Ignoring your frown, Miguel finally pulls you into him, pressing your lower back into his own with a nose into your hair.
“I saw the way he put his arm around you. He was flirting with you too. Hated it.“ Miguel utters. 
“When?“ You ask.
“On the surveillance.“ He says, and you sigh. He’s right, the guy was flirting with you for a bit, but you chose to ignore it so you could get over with the tour faster. 
“Eh, he gave me the heebie jeebies from the beginning.“ You say, and Miguel automatically squeezes you tighter into him, a deep grumble bellowing from his inner throat.
“I’m never letting you tour anyone ever again.“ Miguel admits.
“After that? Go ahead.“ You scoff, and finally, he sighs in relief. 
He tries drags you back to the office platform again, but then forgets that he threw the chair, grumbling in regret. Instead, he just hovers behind you for the rest of the day, occasionally pressing a smooch to your head. 
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foulphantomllama · 6 months ago
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My Secret Desire | AESPA Winter x Male Reader
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I decided to post the new chapter today because I was supposed to post something else today. But as you can guess, I did not liked it enough to post it. So enjoy the new chapter!
4. The Package
She send me a pair of her underwear. With a little note on them saying “Make good use of them until i come back and get them.” And she drew a little emoji winking at the end.
But she wasn’t coming over. Neither to school nor my house. She was barely texting me. And when she does, she only makes me horny and disappear completely. I asked about her to one of her friends but they were in it too. I all got for a response was to wait. So I waited. After nearly a week and a half later, my door was knocking. It was her. I looked at the peekhole. I opened the door. She went straight in. Saying nothing. She took off her shoes and jumped to my bed. Getting ready to take a nap. I closed the door and started watching her. After a moment of silence I wanted to check on her. She was sleeping. She literally was gone for nearly two weeks and now she is back sleeping in my room.
But no. This was my time to act. I couldn’t just let her win every time. I sit beside her and woke her up. “What?” she asked me. Her attitude was making me angry. This attitude of her was the main reason I hate her as much as I love her. “What do you mean “What?”!” “You come into my house, crying. You’re not saying a single word. We fuck, you disappear for nearly two weeks. Than you sending me your panties. And after a few days later you appear on my doorstep and pretending none of this happened?” She looked at me. Holding her laugh. “Yes.” She said. Then burst into laughing.
I hold her arms. I mean, I hold them pretty tight. Her laugh was disappearing quickly. She realized that I’m really angry now. But she was not holding back either. “Come on big boy, what do you have in mind?”
I knew her intention. She wants sex again. But no. She needs to know that she does not always get what she wants from me. We fuck when I want to fuck. She grabbed my cock. But my cock was not hard this time. Because I was furious. “Come on, stop resisting. I know you want me.” She was thigtening her grab as she talks to me. I pushed her to the bed. “Okay, now we’re talking.” She said. But the following event was not someting that she would expect. I dressed up, took the keys and locked her inside my apartment. She has no other option to wait for me. My apartment was pretty high up so she couldn’t use the balcony to run away. But also, I had zero worries that she wants to escape. I was confident that she will wait for me. No matter how long I took to come back to my apartment.
I grabbed some ramen from my favourite store. It was just around the corner of my apartment. Then I rented a film from one of the stores that is not far from my apartment. Then I go to my apartment. Opened the door. There she was. Sitting on the toilet without closing the toilets door. “You should at least close the door.” I said to her. She rolled her eyes and answered. “You should be grateful that I did not pissed on to your carpet. You dick.” She was acting just like I imagined she would. “I am hungry. You did get something to eat, right?” I showed her the ramen I bought. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Then she added. “Probably.” I asked her while I put the ramens on the kitchen counter. “What do you mean boyfriend?” She got up and came towards me. “Duh, dude you fucked me and cum into my throat. And I fucking swallowed it. What do you think we are? Study buddies?”
“So, you loved me from the beggining.” I asked. “Both.” She answered. “I fucking love you so much and I hate you so fucking much.” She also said. I can take that. “I love you because you’re the most precious person ever. I hate you because you’re too precious to be real. That you will gone to your own country an forgot about me.”
Her words hurt me a lot. But not in a bad way. I was hurt because I did not see it before. She was never bullying me. She just wanted my attention. Because she was thinking that I will leave her because she was not clever enough. What a bad way to think about yourself. And this was the exact reason I hated her to my guts. She was so hard to get along with. She was meaning the world to me. Yet, whenever I tried to show her this, she accused me by being delusional. Saying she is not enough for me or so. I may be too harsh to say I hated her just for this, trust me this kind of toxicity can kill. But my love for her was always getting the spotlight. It was the same for her too.
“I am so sorry If I ever hurt you with my words. I was never a bully. I just wanted your attention. And you weren’t giving me.” She hit me with your little fist as she talks. I hugged her. “No, I won’t be going anywhere. Not now at least.” She showed me her middle finger. And then she realized the film I rented. She took the dvd and started inspecting it. “I heard that this one is so shit.” She said. “It is pure shit.” I answered. Her response was hilarious, and expected. “Then why the fuck you rented this?” It turns out that this was just the way she communicates. Not exactly helping her with the social life but, kind of makes her hot and cute. Or I was just obsessed with her.
I prepared the ramen and we started eating. “Put the film on.” She said. I put the film on. In under ten minutes our meals were finished. She paused the film and said “Okay let’s agree on something.” I said go on. “If i get bored in the next ten minutes, we fuck. If I don’t we don’t fuck.” I was confused a little. “Why do I get punished for choosing I film that you probably like?” I asked. “Haha. That is how I work, honey.”
She watched that entire film. I can realize that she wasn’t really liked it. But she did it because she wanted to annoy me. But I wanted her. So I started to kiss her neck. “No hickeys.” She said. “My mother will fucking kill me.” Of course I was going to give her a hickey. “If you’re going to give me a hickey just do it on a place my mother wouldn’t be able to see.” She said. I took of her tshirt. I left a hickey on her left shoulder. “Your mother wouldn’t see that, I think.” I said. She mimics me. Then laughs. “You ruined the ending.” She said. “Come on! It was already shit how I could possibly ruined the ending.” I answered. She nodded.
“I’m just going to give you a blowjob, and get the hell out of here. I’m already late. I was gone to buy some rice. My mother still waiting me to bring rice.” She said. “I have an unopened package of rice. You can take it on your way out.” She gave me a thumbs up. Then took off my pyjamas. She was on her knees. She licked my cock over my underwear. Then she took of my underwear. Took my cock inside her mouth. Her mouth was so warm. And I already knew that she is very skilled when it comes to sucking cock. But she was too shy to make eye contact. I did not pushed her to her limits just yet. I just let her give me head peacefully, in her own terms. “Are you going to swallow it again?” I asked. She took it off from her mouth to answer me. “Well, i want to but you bought me a gigantic ramen. I don’t want to throw up the first meal you bought me.” She started sucking it again. I asked her to look into my eyes. She started to look up. She was looking so good with my cock in her mouth. I mean, she was probably the cutest girl I’ve ever seen. And she was my girlfriend.
“I’m going to swallow it.” She said. “Do not pull it out when you’re about to cum.” I pulled my cock out. “What makes you change your mind.” I asked her. “You forgot to buy me beverage. Can I please finish it and go???” “Okay, okay sorry.” I answered. “All yours.” She got faster and faster. Then I came into her mouth. First she showed me her mouth full of my cum. Then she swallowed it and showed me her empty mouth. I pull her closer to me and kissed her lips. “You just kissed your own cum.” She laughed. “But off your mouth.” I answered. “But it makes you gay.” She answered. I looked at her face laughing. “Okay, I’m going. Give me the rice.” I give her the rice I bought the other day. “Hey, mom! I just blowed my boyfriend and he give me a packet of rice.” She was laughing out loud while saying that. “At least you keep the money.” I said.  “You’re so very right sir. Goodbye.” She saluted me and went out the door. I followed her. “No kiss goodbye?” She came closer, I was taller than her. She signalizes me to bow down. I did. She put her middle finger into my mouth. “Here’s your kiss.”
God I love her.
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ghostbustting · 1 month ago
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hihi, i love your writings! can i get a 80 slash fic where it's around halloween time and the reader was force to attend a party with her friends. Slash notices reader and how hot her costume is. ( a bit modest version of the playboy bunny outfit ) Slash is cocky but the reader doesn't know who the hell he is but after a few drinks...they are upstairs doing the devils tango. 😈
Idk why this took me so long yet so effortless, but october seems to be the perfect month to post it 🙌
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♯ ; “𝑩𝑬𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑩𝑼𝑵𝑵𝒀„ ༘⋆
Saul "Slash” Hudson x Fem!Reader.
Contains SMUT ; p in v, squirting, dirty talk (?),
oral (f receiving).
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The smell of booze and sweats fill my senses, I guess you can already imagine how terrible it is. I can't even remember when did I ever agree to step a single toe into this god awfully packed Halloween party? At this point, I'd rather go trick or treat instead around the neighborhood and receive some sweets by the end of the night.
The whole night I made it my quest to try and stick close to my friends, following them, a similar sight to how dogs would follow their owners around. It was never my desire to attend this party anyways, wasn't quite of a party person at the first place, let alone a Halloween party where I have to dress up in costumes and shit. Yet my friends were quite hard to resist, forcing me to come with them to this party.
So here I am, standing at the corner of this unknown loaded house in my terrible attempt of a Playboy Bunny costume, buying my costume from the nearest store available just a day before the party, despite the cheap fabric making it look like I only put on a black swimsuit and a bunny ears bandana. It was quite revealing, I could feel eyes on me as I walk around, but who the fuck cares?
My friends were long gone from my sight, last thing I seen from them was when they were dirty dancing around some dudes. Unfortunately, I was no fan of that activity, leaving me to just stand in the corner of the party like an absolute outcast. I didn't mind. I had my cup of drink and that was enough to keep me occupied till my friends are ready to take me back home.
News flash, they never did take me home.
In fact, I have completely lose sights of every single one of them. Those little fuckers dragged me here and literally left me to rot between all of these party animals when I could've had a movie night back in my place. What a waste of a Halloween night. Isn't it?
I crush up the empty red plastic cup in my grasp and swiftly threw it away into the trash can, which everyone seems to be oblivious of, judging from all the empty plastic cups laying around on the floor, ready to cause someone to trip and fall.
However, the still fueled up plastic cups set on the table have managed to catch my attention yet again as I find myself making my way back to that table and seeking another cup of drink, which makes this my... third drink..?
My mind shrugs off the forgotten count of drinks as I spot one particular cup with more liquid filled inside besides the other cups. A grin on my lips, my arm stretches and my hand reached out for the cup.
Only to be met by another hand.
A big calloused hand that belonged to a man I couldn't place who or where I would recognize him from.
My eyes trailed from his hand that was lightly touching my own, up to his face, which was mostly covered by those voluminous curls of his hair, a hat sitting perfectly still on top of those curls. Behind those curls, were eyes that peeks through his own strands of hair with a gaze that met mine almost instantly. Almost as if he was inspecting me just like the way I seem like I was inspecting him.
"This cup's taken, sweetheart." He spoke to me, his voice causing a rather odd and unfamiliar tingling feeling in my stomach.
Only then did I realize how warm the feeling of his skin was against my cold one, his voice able to mute out the loud rock music that has been blaring through the speakers all evening as he say, “Or should I say.. Bunny.” This time, he ends his words with a chuckle, eyes trailing up and down my costume.
I raise my eyebrow at him and reluctantly let go of the cup from my hand, “Whatever.” I muttered before taking a different cup displayed on the table, yet somehow still feeling the gaze of those eyes that belonged to him on the side of my head, gaze so strong that he was practically burning a hole right through me. Just as I turn to him again with a sip of the drink, it was proven that he was indeed still gazing over me.
A sigh left my lips from the liquid that cleared my throat, my hip carefully leaning against the table while I listen as words seem to leave him yet again, “No company, Miss Bunny?” He ask, his hand reaching up to deliver the cup to his lip, I watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallow the liquid.
”My friends are here, but they… well, they found other companies.” I shrugged.
I hear him click his tongue and shake his head, “And let you isolate yourself over there in the corner? Sounds like a bunch of fakers to me.” He scoffed, a small smirk playing devilishly on those lips he owned on his face.
”No, no..” I shake my head with a small chuckle, “I didn’t want to attend this party at first anyways, so—”
”Well, why the fucking hell not?!” He threw his arms up, the liquid spilling from his red cup just a little, “With a costume as sexy as this, I surely thought you’d be much more of a party animal.” WIth each words he spoke, I can feel more and more the way his gaze seems to caress the skin of my body up and down. It was rather odd… it made me feel a certain feeling in my heart that made it beat faster, my thighs clenching just a little. Or was it just the effect of the drink? I couldn’t even figure it out before he spoke yet again.
A step was taken from his shoe, his body moving closer to my own, “How ‘bout I show you the real fun of the party? Some talking, dancing, more drinking maybe?” The mysterious man suggested, that same smirk on his face, “I’ll keep it appropriate. I promise, Miss Bunny.” He spoke almost in a teasing way that I was quite confident this night wouldn’t end up in such an appropriate ending anyways.
”Fine then, rockstar looking guy.”
The moment I let my decission slip out, the moment names were shared, and the moment my third drink became my fifth, time seems to fly in a way that is quicker than ever. Each joy of a party that the guy— Slash showed me became a comfort I found building up in me around him. My still somewhat sober part of a brain tried desperately to comprehend whether this feeling is caused by the alcohol in my system or just purely by the fact this man is so mesmerizing. Perhaps even both of those.
The more information I learn about him, the more I feel a magnetic sort of pull towards him, I just hope my pupils aren’t heart-shaped at this very moment. As time passes by, it feels as if I’ve known him for decades and decades already, in knowledge of small details of his very own life. HIs famous band, Guns ‘N Roses, his love for snakes, his guitar skills.. Can he be any more interesting?
Touches were shared here and there, especially when we joined the people dancing around to the music. His large warm palm on my waist was a touch that have been spiritually tattoed onto my skin, a touch to think back every now and then about the strange and mysterious— yet charming stranger I met at the Halloween party.
I mean, honestly, I didn’t know how it all ended up this way.
However, my half sober guess was a 100% correct guess as the first moment we were just dancing and drinking innocently, the second moment we were in some random bedroom, the third moment.. I'm on top of his body, stradling his naked lap as I bounce up and down his large cock, moans pulled out of my lips like a dirty prayer. His hands were yet again placed on both of my waist as he help me bounce up and down, the tip of his cock that was already slick from my saliva moving smoothly in and out of my hole.
”Oh god, yes!”
I gasped, my head thrown back as dirty moans cannot stop pouring from my lips which were smiling widely from ecstasy. Looking down, my eyes lands on the ripped stockings I wore and the way his cock slipped in and out of my dripping cunt, not to mention the way one of his hands have moved to use his thumb on my clit, rubbing harsh circles.
The bastard was smirking back up at me, small grunts leaving his lips as he buck his hips up to me every here and there, “Shit— How are you so fucking tight?” He chuckled breathlessly through his grunts, the circles he rubbed over my clit became more urgent while his hold on my waist tightens to the point it might leave a mark.
My mind was clouded, I couldn't think of another thing other than how good his cock filled me up, fitting just perfectly inside of me as if his cock was made specially for my cunt.
Eventually, my body fell ontop of him as my body became weak, limp with his cock still burried deep inside of me. Slash didn't let that stop his fun though as he suddenly flipped our position, positioning me on my stomach on the bed while he took his position behind me, hand on my hip and the other on his member.
"Gonna fuck this pussy so hard.." He grunted as he finally pushed his head through my folds, pushing a lewd moan out of my throat, "You like that, mm? Such a good bunny, aren't you?" He laughed, his hand coming down to smack across my ass.
The sting that lingered on from his palm caused me to gasp loudly, eyes rolled to the back of my head till they were shut tight with my face pressed into the pillow, "Fuck! Please.." I cried out as he thrusted in and out of me with a pace of no mercy, no resistance, hips snapping back and forth as sounds of skins slapping fills the room.
His arms slowly trail to wrap around my stomach, as if they were snakes lurking around me and ready to feast on me. I feel him placing his weight on me, chest on my back while he press his lips onto my ear, "Gonna fuck you dumb. Now you can be a real fucking rabbit."
Those were the last things I managed to hear before I feel him thrusting in and out of me again. Hard. And fast. I could hardly utter out a letter as my words were taken away by each pump. He was fucking me like rabbits would, humping like rabbits do. It was rough. It was dirty. And I loved every single second of it.
I can feel the veiny skin of his cock dragged in and out of my walls, the tip hitting every single spot that made the pressure bunch up even more in my stomach which only increased when he tightened his arms around it. Nasty moans left my lips, so loud that it eventually turned to lewd screams, eyes rolled to the back of my head.
"S-shit!" I gasped, "More, more.." My words came out in a desperate pant of lust, my ass trying to grind back against him.
Yet another breathless laugh escaped him, "Dirty slut.." He spat, one of his hands trailing up to slip two digits of his fingers past my lips, to which I instantly sucked on like— as he worded, an asbolute dirty slut. Humming around his digit and swirling my tongue around them, I feel him twitching right inside me.
Yet somehow, he never ever changed his pace, staying determined on that rough and deadly pace that made me feel like I'm on cloud nine.
I pull my face away from his fingers as I gasped out, "Close.. I'm so close.." My hand flew to his arm as I hold it tightly, needing something to hold on before I could pass out right on his devil of a cock. "Please.. finish me.." As much as I hate hearing myself and admitting it, I sounded the whiniest I've ever been, underneath him, begging him to give me the best orgasm I ever had.
"You're fucking crazy if you think I wouldn't.." He grunted, fingers digging into the soft skin of my waist as he finally starts slowing his pace, obviously just as close as I was, at the same time he reached down to my sensitive clit, rubbing those same harsh circles he did earlier.
It didn't take long enough before I let out the loudest moan I did tonight right as the fluids of my cum came squirting out of my cunt, "Oh fuck! Fuck!" I gasped, never once experiencing an orgasm like this. Eventually, I feel his own thick cream filling me up till I'm full of him, his voice groaning right in my eyes, something I wish I could listen to every sinful night I went through.
As soon as we finished, Slash pulled out of me and pulled my hips up so my ass was in the air. Being in my fucked up stance, I didn't know what was going to happen till I feel his warm tongue lapping our mixed cum that was oozing out of my folds, eating it out like he was starving man.
My throat was way too tired to even be loud anymore, only letting out a quiet and strangled moan as he finished, hopping onto the spot on the bed right next to me, a wide devilish smirk already on his glistening lips that was soon attatched to mine, my tongue tasting both of us with a grin building in my own face.
I feel him reach for my bunny ears and took it off me. Only when we pull apart that I noticed he have put the bunny ears on himself and place his own hat on my head.
"You look stupid."
He laughed at my statement while one of his thumbs ran over my ruined and smudged make up. "You still look sexy, bunny."
Well damn it, I guess I love Halloween.
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theweasleytwinsownmyjuicyass · 10 months ago
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Yogurt | L.N.
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Lando Norris x reader
Summary: what's is the best way to show your crush you like him if not by eating yogurt together?
Warnings: fluff/comedy<3
Word count: ~1,8K
“Hey Lan, look what I got!” you excitedly waved the spoon around, a sparkle in your eye.
A smile instantly found a place on Lando’s face, hearing your voice just did that to him these days. He turned to face you but soon enough the smile fell and he let out a scream inside. NO GOD NO!
There you stood before him, so incredibly excited and happy with a carton of yogurt in your hand and Lando knew that he couldn’t run away now, you’ve caught him once again.
“Sadly there was only one left, but we can share!” you sat next to him on the soft sofa overlooking the track.
Gosh you lived for these little moments between you two, because it was literally the only time you two could be together uninterrupted for at least a while and talk about everything and anything.
“Oh that’s great…” Lando tried to feign excitement but he didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up…
As the two of you sat there sharing the small carton of yogurt you couldn’t not tell him all about the new book you’ve read. The yogurt was long gone, but you still kept going, describing every single character and your favourite scenes to Lando who was listening intently.
“And then he totally lost it! Like he’s been losing it since the start, but this was the total culmination where we got to see just how messed up he actually is. He was literally shooting into hallucinations of her! Dude really got one heartbreak and turned completely ins-” your rant was cut short as Lando leaped out of his seat and hurried away and out of the cafeteria.
You sat there now in complete stillness, confused as to what made him act out in such a way. What worried you most was that he always seemed to run off after your little chats. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, but that kind of hurt…
The first time it happened you were absolutely heartbroken. Like how could you not be! The guy you have a crush on running away from you! But after that Lando apologised to you and everything was back to normal. Up until he did that again and again… and again. Yes he’d apologise after every single time, but it was starting to drive you nuts!
“Awesome,” you let out an expiated sign and leave the cafeteria once again with your head hung low.
The next time you see Lando is about an hour later at practise and make yourself a mental note to ignore him, since you could no longer take his weird behaviour and fake apologies.
You’re just about to walk out of the garage when you heard a thud of something or rather someone falling to the floor and a group of shocked intakes of breath echoed around the place.
“Lando!” air was knocked out of your chest the moment you saw him lying on the floor, face a pale white and glistening with sweat.
You kneeled next to him with a few of his team members, “Help me put him on the couch,” your hands were trembling as you assisted the older man to pick Lando up. Your hands were braced under his head holding it softly, afraid to harm him in any way.
“Lando? Lando wake up,” you caressed his forehead lightly, wiping away the curls that were starting to stick to his damp skin.
It didn’t take long before his eyes fluttered open and connected with your gaze.
“Lando, are you okay?” concern was etched into your features, eyebrows furrowed, soft hands still raking through his hair.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” he sat up patting your hand, clearly not helping your mind ease.
“You look pale Lan, are you sure?” you pushed seriously concerned for his wellbeing.
“Yeah, trust me, it happens sometimes, nothing to worry about” he gives you a quick smile before stumbling off to his room.
Pure confusion of what just happened was etched into your features. What the hell is up with this guy?!
Even if you felt confused by his actions you still felt bad that he fainted.
 Why does a person faint? Dehydration? Not eating enough? That sounds like something that could have happened to Lando since he’s always too preoccupied with doing anything else but actually eating his meals or getting enough water until it was too late.
You run to the convenience store that’s close to the track and buy a few packets of yogurt, some flavourless, some with strawberries. You think he’ll like that since one time he talked for an hour about a strawberry tart he had in London.
Your hands softly knock on his door before you enter.
“Hey, I got you some yogurt, thought it might pick up your mood,” you offer him the three yogurt packets and a complementary spoon from the hospitality.
”Oh! That’s … great actually, exactly what I needed right now,” he grabs the yogurt out of your arms and thanks you before eating spoonful’s of it. You smile watching him go through two packets so eagerly. ‘Poor boy was so hungry’ you think.
On the other hand Lando is doing everything in his power to keep the damn yogurt down his throat, but even the smell was now irritating his whole being.
But he couldn’t just not eat it. You got it for him, just for him. And god he knew how much he was messing up these past few weeks he didn’t want to make another stupid move that will make sure he never sees you closer than 10 feet away from him.
‘You got this Lando, just few more spoons and you make the girl happy. You got this man’ he repeated that as his mantra until his body betrayed him. Turns out no, he did not ‘got this’.
You watched with impending horror as Lando launched himself out of the chair and into the bathroom before an array of sounds followed as he emptied his insides into the toilet.
You stood behind the door not knowing what to do but extremely concerned about the boy’s condition.
“Lan?”
“Please don’t come in here Y/n,” his voice was tainted with desperation and as much as worry spurred you to see him you also had understanding for the boy and sat yourself back down on the sofa.
At that time Oscar came into the room.
“Oh Y/n, have you seen Lando? I’ve been looking all over for him, it’s like he disappeared,” the boy sat next to you on the sofa.
“He’s in there,” you pointed at the closed bathroom door with an apologetic expression and Oscar nodded his head silently understanding more about the situation than he let on.
It was only a few minutes later that Lando emerged from the bathroom smelling of fresh toothpaste and with red blotches covering his damp face.
“Lan? Are you sure you okey? Seems like you’ve caught some kind of tummy bug,” your eyebrows pulled together as you assessed the teary eyed boy standing before you.
Lando only sat down at his table and opened the water bottle before taking a sip and letting out a sign.
Oscar was done with the situation after having been in it for all of 2 minutes and decided to push his friend in the right direction for once.
“Lando, for the love of God, please tell her!“ Oscar sounded expiated as he stood from the sofa in frustration, something that looked so foreign on the usually silent boy.
“Tell me what?” your eyes danced between the two boys who now held intense eye contact with each other.
“He’s lactose intolerant for God’s sake!” Oscar was the one to break the silent conversation between the two boys.
“Nooooo!” Lando screeched out at the same time as Oscar admitted his secret to you.
“Oh my god Lando! Why didn’t you tell me! You’ve been getting sick and it’s all my fault!” you clawed at your face hot with embarrassment. Now it all made sense why he’d hurry away from you after your little yogurt dates. Gosh how did you not notice it?!
“Because I like you! And you’d always offer me some of it and I just couldn’t say no because I thought you’d take it the wrong way…” Lando’s gaze was stuck to the floor and his shoulders slumped in defeat, not only did he already feel a fool he also admitted his feelings to you and was getting ready for your sweet rejection.
“Gosh I thought I was the one being slick always offering you some yogurt, just to show that I like you, but then you’d run off and I just thought that the yogurt was all we had.” Your hand raked through your hair anxiously. Yes Lando was the first one to admit his feelings but that did not make it easier for you to say as doubts still covered you.
“You thought that I was being with you just for the yogurt?” Lando stepped closer and smoothed his hand over your hair, putting the strands back into place with a soft touch.
“It sounds stupid I know, but yeah…” your eyes lifted to connect with his adoring eyes. His sweet gaze calmed your heart and you leaned into his touch, reassured by his presence.
“Well good thing you now know that it has nothing to do with the yogurt,” the room erupted in your harmonious chuckles before his lips softy landed on your forehead, once again claiming his affection towards you.
The moment was so personal that neither of you noticed when Oscar silently slipped out of the room leaving it just for the two of you, but you were none the less thankful for his kind understanding.
Later that night you and Lando were watching movies in his apartment, cuddled up on the huge foamy sofa before the TV. Your hand was making soft circles on his tummy, rubbing away the pain.
There was only a faint sound of the movie that engulfed the room until you spoke up with a teasing smile.
“I still can’t believe you were doing that to yourself just because you liked me.”
Lando lifted his face from your chest so he could face you before he answered.
“What’s a little sickness if I get to see you smile?”
^^
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backwzzds · 1 year ago
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ you done yet? choso (nsfw)
it doesn’t take much for your man to put your brat ass into place.
thinking about quiet goth!choso who doesn’t even have to say or do too much to put yo ass in place. you had a naturally dominant personality; you were energetic, and spoke your mind up very well—all the complete opposite of choso.
but when that man got you in the bedroom?
it was was weird. in all your past relationships, you never felt safe enough with anyone to fully flourish in your feminine side. you always had to be tense and on guard, hardly allowing yourself to really feel safe in the arms of your partner. wasn’t your fault anyways; none of your ex boyfriend’s made you feel secure enough to allow you to be the princess you were.
choso was the complete opposite. he was really quiet and barely said more than three words a day to anyone who wasn’t you, but it wasn’t because he was a pussy or anything; mans just didn’t have anything to say. he always spoke the most when it came to you, though. you two always had meaningful conversations when you were alone together, so much so that it was an ongoing joke in your friend group that you were the only one to ever hear what choso sounded like.
it’s not like it bothered you anyway, choso wasn’t friendly to other bitches and that’s all that mattered. if anyone dare tried to make a shot at him, he’d stare them down until they got uncomfortable. or, he’d give the classic got a girlfriend, not interested. go away.
you loved him for that.
so while he barely spoke publicly, that didn’t mean he didn’t speak with you. you’ve known choso long enough to pay attention to his social cues in public as well. you knew when he was annoyed of those around him, uncomfortable, and just wanting to go home with you. if you were purposely testing him, all he had to do was give you a look or whisper behave in your ear and you were ready to kneel like a bitch for that man!
something about choso made you feel so safe in his presence. you knew bookie carried around a lil armed piece on his persons at all times, but that was just an added plus as to why you felt so secure with him. he never masculinized or dehumanized you (outside of sexuality), never made you feel as if you were in some sort of struggle relationship, and he never made you fight for his love. whatever you wanted, you got. literally, figuratively, and sexually.
besides the fact that he towered over your already taller frame, choso just made you wanna melt into his arms every single time you were with him. you could talk about him for hours, how good he smells, the hidden tattoos that only you could actually see, the way his nose scrunches when he’d laugh at something stupid you’d said—you were so in love with that boy.
so in love that usually if a man were to tell you to behave, you’d bitch back and start an argument. you cant tell me what to do, nigga, you’d say with a roll of your eyes. but when you were in such a healthy relationship, all you could do was follow choso’s every order when he got you in that bedroom after telling you what to do.
“you done actin’ like a fool, mama? think those dudes had enough of your show, hm?” his grip on your neck was tight. but you couldn’t take him seriously. not when the only thing on your mind was him pounding into you in a few minutes. all you could do was give him a sloppy and hazy smile, lip gloss smudged all over your face from his nasty kisses earlier.
choso can’t help but smirk just as malevolently as he looked down at you. “you think i’m laughin? tell me what’s funny baby, ‘cos i wanna laugh too.”
you grin, showing your teeth. “nah, nothin’s funny papa. know you’re boutta fuck me up in a few minutes though.”
your man lets out a small chuckle as he yanks your dress down, tits spilling completely free. “yeah i’mma fuck somethin’ up alright. bend over.”
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blondwhxrewrites · 8 months ago
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what about mattheo with a werewolf s/o? Like imagine being like all worked up and horny before a full moon and having angry pre-transformation sex with him
(I’m actually in love with this man)
You tell him your a werewolf, and the first thing he asks is, 'So does that mean we are like considered as mates or some shit?'
By the way he already knew, because my boy is EXTREMELY observant. He just never told you because he wanted you to be ready to tell him. When he figured it out he immediately sat his ass down at the library and read every single book on werewolves he could find.
He's doing everything he can to support you
He isn't at all afraid of you and dude would square up with werewolf you with no hesitation because he has no sense of self preservation
(also I'm adding my own werewolf system because fuck JK Rowling imma do this my own way 😤)
He finds out that werewolves won't hurt the people that they consider 'mates' or a part of their 'pack', and he is taking full advantage of that. 
He sees your werewolf form for the first time and it's literally just a giant wolf and he's standing there like 🧍while you're just wagging your tail all happy because OH MY GOD ITS YOUR MATE 🥰
You have a little spot in the dark forest where you transform and he'll come and visit you.
You bring him the corpses of the animals you hunt and he'll just awkwardly pat your head, and praise your hunting skills
https://pin.it/fEKdLztSL
(this link is an accurate representation of what werewolves look like because ain't no way am I gonna let them be that ugly shit from the prisoner of Azkaban)
You get extremely clingy and possessive the days before a full moon. It's not just towards Mattheo, it's towards your friends too because your senses see them as your 'pack' and you gotta protect them and make sure they are okay
You literally growl at people
Person: GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH
Mattheo: She don't bite
You: *Growls*
Person: YES SHE DO
You also get extremely horny and Mattheo lives for it
You wanna fuck? Mattheo is down and ready to be used 🫡
He is your man slut
You get aggressive during the act and end up biting him on the neck and shoulders and he is wearing those marks proudly. He's strutting around Hogwarts proudly marked as yours 💅
During those days before the full moon, he will be your subby little manwhore
Anything for his princess 🤷
You wanna suck his dick and call him a good boy? He's melting into a puddle of goo. He becomes all blushy and shy because he loves being praised 🤭
Eating your pussy like a man starved.
Please sit on his face and suffocate him (:
You wanna ride him? Bros staring at you in awe while he watches your ass bounce up and down on his cock in reverse cowboy.
My boy is just along for the ride 😁
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A chance encounter
Words: 1,732 [also on AO3]
Rated: E
Tags: No UD AU; Future fic; Record label owner Eddie; Waiter Steve; Eddie Munson has a crush on Steve Harrington; Blood and violence; Sex work (implied); Attempted non-con; Homophobic language; Steve Harrington whump; Eddie Munson whump; Protective Eddie Munson; Protective Steve Harrington
Notes: Happy birthday, @house-of-the-moving-image! I hope you have the most wonderful of days. I'm so happy to have found you as a friend and partner in crime. Hope you enjoy your extra long chunk of Upside Diner, even though it turned out quite gritty for a birthday fic. 😅💕🛼
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Eddie grumbles under his breath as he locks the office door and steps out into the dark street. 
Don’t get him wrong, he loves his job. Hellfire Records is his baby. Making music, working with all sorts of different artists and bands, helping them make a name for themselves - it’s everything he ever wanted and never thought he could have growing up in the smalltown hell of Hawkins, Indiana. 
What he doesn’t love is the meetings and the paperwork and the phone calls, especially on days like this, when it all drags on until well into the night. 
The echoes of his boots bounce off the empty streets as he makes his way towards the little diner at the corner. Checking his wristwatch, he swears again. Fuck, it’s even later than he thought. What if Steve’s shift is already over? The thought makes his stomach clench with an unpleasant feeling that distinctly feels like disappointment. The realization makes him pause and furrow his brow. 
Maybe it’s a little bit pathetic, how quickly his visits to the diner have become the highlight of his day. Maybe it’s a little bit weird that he hasn’t had dinner anywhere else in literal weeks. Maybe it’s a little bit creepy, this obsession with a boy he knew fleetingly in highschool. An obsession that makes him come by every single day after work, without fail, just to chew on soggy fries and greasy burgers and watch said boy waiting tables, gliding around like an angel in chunky roller skates and stupidly short shorts. 
Maybe he has a problem. 
And maybe he doesn’t care. 
Because for all his initial reluctance and bite, Steve has actually started coming around. Has been accepting Eddie’s money and attempts at conversation with barely a complaint. Has even stopped asking why Eddie keeps ordering way too much food for one person alone, taking the leftovers behind his counter to munch on. Hell, last week when Eddie came in, he even looked up from the order he was taking and flashed him a wave and smile. Eddie rode that high all night and well into the next day. 
It’s the memory of that smile that makes him pick up his steps. Maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll catch Steve at the tail end of his shift and convince him to stay around for a little longer. 
The diner is empty, except for a lone person in uniform wiping down tables behind the neon-lit window pane. It isn’t Steve. Eddie spares one glance at the bored-looking girl and turns away with an annoyed groan. That’s it, he thinks, pulling his headphones from his pocket and slamming them on with a little more force than strictly necessary. Tonight officially sucks. Time to go home and fix himself some SpaghettiOs, turn on a late night show and fall asleep in front of the- 
For the rest of his life, he’ll thank fate for making him fumble with his discman. Because if he’d hit the play button a second earlier, he would never have heard the voices. But this way, he does, and this way, he halts his steps, peering into the narrow side alley with a wrinkled brow. The light of the streetlamps only reaches so far, and everything he can see are the dumpsters and old cardboard boxes at its entrance. Beyond them, everything is dark. 
“Dude, get your hands off me, I said no.” 
Steve.
Eddie is halfway around the dumpsters before he even knows it, heart beating in his ribcage like a jackhammer. The alley reeks of piss and rotting garbage. At its far end, almost hidden behind another dumpster, are two figures. Eddie can’t make out their faces, but he also doesn’t need to. The colorful uniform is unmistakable, even in the murky half-light, even though it’s paired with a pair of sneakers rather than roller skates. And besides, he’d know that ridiculously floofy hairdo anywhere. 
He doesn’t know the other man. Only knows that the guy's hands are grabbing Steve’s arms and shoulders hard enough to leave marks as he attempts to wrestle him to his knees. 
“C’mon, don’t be like that,” the man hisses just as Eddie rounds the dumpster. “I’ll make it quick.” 
“Are you deaf or stupid?” Steve sneers, trying to struggle out of his hold. “I said get your fucking hands off me.” 
The man slaps him across the face. Steve makes a pained noise and loses his balance, going down on his knees on the dirty ground. 
The man laughs, curt and mean.
“There you go,” he coos. One of his hands grabs a fist full of chestnut hair while the other reaches for the half-undone fly of his pants. “Now be a good little slut and-” 
The force of the impact sends the discman tumbling from Eddie’s pocket. It shatters on the ground somewhere, parts flying in all directions, but he doesn’t have eyes for it. Instead, he grabs the asshole by the lapels of his cheap suit and hauls him against the nearest wall. The back of the asshole’s head hits the bricks, and Eddie thinks he hears something crack. Good. 
“Eddie?” 
While the man sags against the wall, groaning and cradling his head, Eddie whirls on Steve. Steve, who's just swaying to his feet, eyes wide and shocked. His cheek is flushed and starting to bruise. 
“Shit,” Eddie swears. “Are you-” 
Pain explodes inside his skull, sudden and all consuming. He stumbles, trying to keep his footing and cracks his head on the hard metal edge of the dumpster in the process. He manages to blink the stars from his vision just in time to see the man's fist flying at him. The blow makes his ears ring and copper flood his mouth, and when he regains his senses, he's on the ground with two hands closing around his throat. 
“Thought you'd play the hero, huh?” The man's grin is a manic grimace. A glob of spit hits Eddie’s cheek. “Well, how'd that work out for you, you stupid little-” 
“Hey, shitface!” 
The man snarls and turns. Eddie doesn’t see what happens, just knows that something goes crunch and suddenly the hands pressing down on his windpipe are gone. The man's voice turns into a high-pitched wail of pain. 
Eddie rolls around, coughing and gasping for air, and props himself up on his elbows. The man has shrunk against the next wall, clutching at his face. Crimson blood is bubbling out from between his fingers, hitting the alley floor in a steady pattern of drips. 
“Fuck off,” Steve says and lowers the hand holding the roller skate. His voice is deadly calm, his face steely. “Remember to put away your dick first.” 
The guy stares at him. Steve raises the roller skate again, just a little. The asshole whimpers and scrambles upright, mumbling something to himself. Eddie thinks he catches something about fucking lunatic fags, but he can't be sure, what with the way his voice comes out all wet and garbled. And then he's gone, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste to get away.
Steve drops the roller skate. 
“Fuck,” be whispers, crouching down next to Eddie and brushing hesitant fingers over his split lip. Ten minutes ago, Eddie would’ve given anything to feel those hands on his face, but now he winces and recoils at the sting of pain. 
Steve retracts his hand, flopping down on the ground with a heavy sigh. The shorts ride up with the movement, exposing strong, muscled thighs. His knees are scraped from hitting the asphalt, little droplets of blood beading on the torn skin. 
“What’d you go and do that for?” Steve asks, scrubbing a hand down his face. All of the steel is gone from his voice. He sounds tired instead, infinitely tired. “I had it under control.” 
Eddie can’t help it, he barks a laugh. “Oh, did you, big boy? When was that, exactly? When he backhanded you? Or when he had you by the hair and was about to shove his cock down your-”
“Yeah, well, I’m not the one who got punched and choked half to death!” Steve snaps. 
Eddie opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it again. The boy has a point, sort of. He doesn’t need a mirror to tell which one of them is looking the worse for wear right now, not with the white-hot pain still throbbing through his face with every heartbeat. 
“He didn’t choke me half to death,” he mutters lamely. Steve huffs a humorless laugh. 
“Thanks, anyway,” he then says. It comes out so quietly that Eddie nearly misses it, and when he looks up, Steve has averted his eyes. Eddie has an acute flashback to their first meeting at the diner, when Steve reluctantly accepted his tip money. “Could’ve gone a lot worse if you hadn’t shown up.” 
Eddie feels his mouth tug into a grin, even though his lip stings like an entire beehive. 
“Anytime, Stevie. Now c’mon, let’s get outtaaaaah, shit.” 
Trying to stand is a bad idea. The moment he’s upright, another firework of pain goes off behind his temples and the ground tilts out from under him. The only thing that saves him from going right down again is Steve jumping to his feet and looping one of Eddie’s arms around his shoulders. 
“Shit, he got you good,” he mutters. Eddie can only hum in agreement, too preoccupied with keeping the meager contents of his stomach down. “We should probably get you somewhere with a first aid kit at least.” 
“‘s okay,” Eddie slurs, inadvertently leaning closer into Steve’s warmth. He smells of shampoo and frying fat and blood. “I’ll be fine, I live nearby.” 
Steve’s eyes flit over his face, then off to the side, then back to his face again. He licks his lips and even in his dazed state, Eddie can clearly see how he wars with himself. Finally, he gulps and straightens his spine. 
“Okay,” he says, adjusting Eddie’s weight on his shoulders. “Let’s go then.” 
It’s weird, Eddie thinks as they start to hobble their way down the dark street. He must’ve fantasized a thousand times about taking Steve Harrington home, but never once did he think it’d play out like this. Then again, things in his life rarely go as he imagines, so he supposes he’s just gonna roll with it.
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@steddhie @formosusiniquis @steddiehasmywholeheart @ellaelsinore @rozzieroos
Part 4
Tag list: @grtwdsmwhr @p0lybl4nkk @fairytalesreality @colidamae @dissociatingdemon
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thechocolatearmor · 8 days ago
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OK OK OK OK OK people talk about sniper, or pyro, or medic being autistic right?
B u t
What if I told you all of them are?
Every single one.
Engineer? He's autistic. Soldier? Autistic. Frickin Spy?? Omgsh he's so autistic
So because my brain won't stop itching about this I'm going to write up a collection of all the evidence I have for why the TF2 mercenaries possess within their beings the big tism. By the time this is over y'all are going to be very sick of the word autism.
But IDC
So without further ado, let's go through each of these silly mercs one at a time:
Scout:
Alright, first up we got Scout. Scout I would consider to be AuDHD for multiple reasons
The ADHD is more obvious but like dude trust me he's autistic too
He's hyperactive, forgetful, gets distracted easily, kind of the basic stereotypical ADHD stuff you would notice immediately. He stims, he fidgets, he struggles in social situations, he's seen as over the top and a bit annoying, he talks a lot
Now a lot of these traits are things that are common for both autistics and adhders. But I wanna point out some things I notice about him that are autism specific
He has a special interest: It's Tom Jones. Honestly he probably has a special interest about baseball too
But I mean c'mon he's literally has a Tom Jones tattoo
You could argue this is just a hyperfixation but I bet it's been going on for a while
He also has "spikey" skills. Really good at stuff like drawing, dancing, sports, but he sucks at things like reading, math, etc
Mostly what makes me see him as autistic it's how he struggles in social situations. Bro doesn't know how to flirt unless he's got a bucket of chicken on hand
Soldier:
Honestly if anyone's autistic coded it's soldier
Special interest is all things American, especially if it relates to the military
Lots of autistic people wear certain items that remind them of something they like, usually disregarding things like how it looks or even whether or not it's comfortable. Soldier's helmet is way too big for him but he's almost always wearing it anyway
In meet the spy he does "hut hut hut" when he's doing down the stairs and it makes me so happy
He has no filter, he takes things really literally, he often sees suggestions as orders (teleporting bread anyone?)
Also when he says he's been doing nothing but teleport bread for 3 days it makes me think he must've been hyperfocused on that
I don't think he knows anything about volume control since he's yelling everything
What kind of neurotypical fights bears in Siberia while naked and covered in honey
He speaks his mind rather than beating around the bush
His helmet could also double as helping him avoid eye contact
Pyro:
Tell me they don't have aversion to like every texture besides their suit you can't
A lot of their animations are super stimmy
Pretty much nonspeaking
Has childish interests
Could also have schizophrenia? (I'm relatively uninformed about it tho so I might not be a good person to judge)
I bet half of their little mmph mmmph noises are audio stims
Special interest is fire
their stim is ARSON
Demo:
I headcanon him as AuDHD too
I mean tbf a lot of how he is is more related to alcoholism but shhh let me have this
But I mean he made friends with Soldier
Special interest in medieval weapons which would explain why he's crazy about swords?
Drinking could be an unhealthy coping mechanism/safe food
Probably also depressed with how he can never live up to his family's expectations
Infodumping about bombs in his introduction video
Honestly most of my "evidence" for him is just fanon but idc I like autistic Demoman
Heavy:
Whether or not him having a PhD in Russian literature is canon, some of his in game lines show him to be very poetic and thoughtful
The fact that he only has a few food items but always seems super happy to be eating them gives me safe food vibes
He sings and hums a lot, probably as a stim
He has the Resting Autism Face™
Special interest in his gun
A lot of his voice lines also just feel really stimmy to me, especially when he's doing the "YATATATATATA" thing
Not sure he has any volume control either
Seems to genuinely enjoy Medic's morbid stories, at least to a point
He really really really really really likes the song of the Volga boatmen in particular
He's the prettiest princess it's canon, you can't be a pretty princess without being autistic /j
He has a tiny bed for Sasha. HE HAS A TINY BED FOR SASHA
Heavy is often criticized as a class because guess gameplay is relatively simple and can become a little stale for a lot of people. Yet Heavy seems to have some of the most excited voice lines in the game. I feel like this emphasizes how much he thrives in routine, since he seemingly never gets bored of just doing his thing
Engie:
He has 11 phds
A lot of his voice lines also sound really stimmy to me. Either he's going YEEHAWW GIDDY UP or he's yelling DAMNIT DAGNABIT DANGIT DAGGIT NABBIT
Probably a lot of echolalia with that too
He humanizes his buildings and cares for them like a mother bird
Just listen to his genuinely heartbroken when his sentry gets taken down!
When playing Engie sometimes I find myself smacking stuff with my wrench even though I KNOW it's already level 3 and maxed and whatnot, or I KNOW I'm out of metal, just because I wanna hear the clang noise. So this point is just me projecting but I love the mental image of Engie giving his things a few extra whacks too
He sawed off his arm for his special interest
His whole monologue in meet the engineer is so autistic sounding to me
His dancing taunt also feels stimmy
He's always hunched over, implying irregular posture
He's a NERD—
Man of many talents including playing the guitar
Never takes those goggles off
How does he turn a stressful TF2 match into a (not so) relaxing tower defense game?
Medic:
I headcanon him as AuDHD too because he seems really scatterbrained and it feels like he's working on several things at once and always
He talks a LOT. definitely an infodumper
Either he's super stern or really giggly, there is no in between
He wears gloves in battle but not while doing surgery??? Does he just like organ textures??? Wacko
Special interest is obviously whatever the heck kinda of mad science he does
Here's a heavy medic headcanon I have: medic likes deep pressure hugs
Another special interest could be his birds
He's very spontaneous which makes me think AuDHD even more
Look how excited he gets when taking about the tumors in expiration date!
He got the organ stealing autism
Is it just me or does he fixate on baboon organs in particular???
Sniper:
I'm pretty sure all of you know why this man is autistic but I'm going to list some reasons here anyway
My main evidence tho are his Halloween voice lines: https://youtu.be/2WDljNAslys?si=JP25VOGGDWwwoCI7
Exhibit a, look how much he enjoys having an owl head
Exhibit b, lots of those voice lines make him sound really freakin' overstimulated
He probably wears the hat and shades for sensory reasons as well as because they look cool
Obviously the most socially reclusive of the mercs
I love his backstory where he learns he never felt like the other kids because he wasn't actually Australian, but what if he also didn't fit in with the other kids because he's autistic?
Also throwing rocks at people as a kid screams autism to me
No neurotypical would ever throw jars of his own piss at you either
I think he just wants to live in the woods somewhere and never come back to society and honestly that's based
I feel like he would be the type to bite his own arm when stressed (just like me fr 😭)
Extremely meticulous in following his own life rules (ie being professional and having standards, driving safely with the turn signal and everything)
Spy:
Ok just hear me out for this one
Smoking because stim reasons
He's literally and figuratively masking
He's very suave and probably really good with social things, but I feel like it looks like he's just practiced really hard, again MASKING
Who knows he might not even actually be French
Who collects photographic evidence for a ur mom joke
I see him as either being hypersensitive or hyper insensitive to pain depending on the day (his screams + "I do believe I'm on fire.")
Mad butterfly knife tricks as a stim? (Notice he couldn't help but fiddle with them even disguised as scout in meet the spy)
He sucks at dealing with relationships and that's one of the reasons he's a bad dad
He actually really cares about his team and you can see it especially in expiration date but he's not very good at expressing it
Do you think he wears the ski mask for sensory reasons too?
Probably has his suits tailored to not give him any sensory issues, which could be another reason he likes them so much
Believe me I could go on but I think this is enough to get my point across
THEY ARE ALL AUTISTIC >:00
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yeonboy · 2 years ago
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𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ♡ choi yeonjun.
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If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?
❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends to lovers!au ♡ angst ♡ humor ♡ fluff
❧ 7 k words
❧ warnings! inaccuracies wrt college sports/scouting/ice hockey, profanity, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, discussion and exhibition of puck bunny behavior, mentions of slut-shaming, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealousy, some pining, yeonjun is stooooopiiiid, yn is also stooooopiiiid, one (1) singular heavy makeout sesh that gets a little out of hand hehe (:
❧ note! hi, world! this is a sideblog i created v v recently, but you won’t find links to my main anywhere bec i’ve decided to be a catfish on this one (: LOL jk, i just wanted a fresh start. i will be cutting back on the hoeing around i used to indulge in w my writing on that blog, and keep this place as sfw as i can - we’ll focus on tummy-aching angst instead! w a happy ending ofc bec ya girl is a softie 😔
leave me feedback if you like this! follow for more! (:
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❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘
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"Dude, this has gone so fucking soggy, it's like chewing leather. Please stop eating it."
Your words of disgust and grimace of distaste were, unsurprisingly, nothing to deter your best friend from munching on the cold fries he'd left for the last when he'd been too busy gobbling down his burgers. Stuffing a handful into his mouth like an actual ape, he in fact wiggles his eyebrows at you in a challenge.
"I feel like I've seen an orangutan eat exactly the way you just did, Choi Yeonjun. Please stop."
That makes him giggle and clear his mouth, finally raising his hands in surrender. "Kay, I give up. They do taste like leather."
"Not even gonna ask how you know that… But this is why you're supposed to have your fries with the burgers and not after it."
"But they mess up my palate!"
When he pouts like that, it's so hard for you to believe that he's the university’s senior ice hockey team’s ace, their Center, their captain, and that he’s looking to get scouted professionally, this year. When he pouts like that, he takes you back to the time you first met him on the first day of your high school, both clueless freshmen with wide, innocent eyes full of huge dreams about your future.
Dreams that you're both very, very close to making a reality, now – him as a professional hockey player, and you interning at the law firm of your dreams.
Damn. Time sure flies fast.
“What? Is there something on my face?” Yeonjun tilts his head and you blink away from your thoughts, averting your gaze from his to instead stare at his shitty, soggy fries.
“Yeah. Stupid. A lot of it.”
Yeonjun rolls his eyes and rips a tissue out of the dispenser on the table to dab around his mouth just in case, and that gives you room to breathe in and out and try to will away the heat you can feel in your cheeks.
See, now, the thing is – you don’t necessarily have romantic feelings for your platonic best friend of eight years. That’d just be absurd and kind of creepy. But you sure as heck have always harbored a crush on him.
It’s just impossible not to! 
Guy has always been literally the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever seen, even at the universally ugly age of fourteen. He’s a gentleman, always kind to every single person in his life, would probably cut a limb off for a friend in need, and ever since your sophomore year of college, he’s gotten into manically coloring his hair, which…is seriously injurious to the onlookers’ health because dear God, the dirty blonde of his hair with the dark roots peeking through from his middle part? Makes your heart literally pound.
And he isn’t even doing anything! Other than being gross with a tissue paper and inedible fries, which should absolutely turn you off from ever liking anything about him, but it does the opposite.
That is another thing about him – he’s too freaking smooth and sexy about every damn thing in his life. The day his hair turned from black to blue, nearly two years back, he developed all these flirty charms on top of his kind ones. Now he isn’t just an insanely handsome dude who’d hold your hand to help you cross the road, but he’d also freaking wink at you when you thank him for his kindness.
You as in a person, not – not you. He’d never wink at you, you're too friendzoned for that. And it's kind of a blessing because you’d probably run the risk of jumping back into oncoming traffic if he did.
Wow.
You can’t count on one hand the number of times you have had to tug on the reins of your heart when it’s tried to take a flight, jumping off the cliff of your very inconvenient crush and into the bottomless abyss of having actual romantic feelings for him. Because that would be catastrophic. And not just because you fear he'd reject you and you’d lose the one person who means the most to you in the world.
“Should I get more burgers?”
Your gaze snaps to him in surprise. He’s pouting again, this time looking at the greasy fingerprints laden menu card kept on your table. The anxiety that had started to churn in your stomach at the prospect of your very concerning crush turning into something more, suddenly leaves and you huff out a small laugh.
“You’ve had six in the past hour, Jjun. I’d say stop for the night, maybe?”
“Hey, I have a big appetite!” He scowls at you. “And it’s close to midnight, already! You know I begin my diet for the season from tomorrow!”
You groan. “Well, then, why did you ask?”
“To be encouraged, of course! To be comforted.” He widens his eyes and blinks at you. “Or did you forget I’m also supposed to be nursing a broken heart?”
The groan you release at that is loud, drawn out and filled with a year’s worth of exasperation. This is the other reason why you catching romantic feelings for him would be catastrophic. His emotional quotient is seriously questionable when it comes to the matters of heart. If he could love a partner half as much as he loves dogs, maybe he wouldn’t be ‘nursing a heartbreak’ because of the fifth person that has dumped him since your final year began. And you aren’t even done with your mid-sems yet.
But you don't tell him that, instead patting on his leather jacket clad forearm with a fake sympathetic expression. “Ah, yes, poor you. My deepest condolences to your heart.”
He knows you and your bullshit and you know he does, so the attack that his hands launch at your throat in the next two seconds doesn't surprise you, and your defensively raised shoulders don't surprise him.
You're both dissolving into giggles, then, having nothing short of a wrestling match across the small cafe table. "I really liked Lea, okay?"
"Oh yeah? You didn't even—oof, that tickles! You didn't even know she was Kai's sister!"
At that he lets go of you and slumps back in his seat with a scowl. "Please don't remind me. I still worry he's gonna stab me in my sleep someday…"
You place a palm over your mouth to stifle your laugh. "To be fair, Lea shouldn't have been indulging in puck bunny behavior if she didn't want to be treated like one."
"Don't say that wo~rd," Yeonjun whines with his whole head thrown back. "She's Kai's sister! And she's younger than me!"
"Just by four months! Stop being dramatic, Jjun. She's a junior at college – she knew what she was doing."
Yeonjun doesn't look convinced. "I mean… I don't think she was with me only because I'm hockey captain. She knows all of HK's friends personally."
You wonder why he is defending her. Did he actually, genuinely like the girl? Romantically? What are the odds of Yeonjun finally making an attempt to open his heart up to someone and them ending up dumping him? He doesn't really look that dumped, though, so you figure that this must be out of some misplaced protectiveness he feels for one of his best friend's sisters.
Man should've thought of that before he dated her. Sigh.
"Yeah, which makes it worse." You wince when he frowns. "Come on, Jjun. She's known you since middle school but decides to make a move now? Only to break it off in three weeks because others are 'slut-shaming' her”—you make air-quotes around the term, rolling your eyes—“when they call her out for wearing another guy's jersey in preseason when she's supposed to be dating you. Can't tell me that's not manipulative and experienced puck bunny behavior."
Yeonjun’s eyes are wide when you finish speaking. “What…?”
“She didn't have feelings for you, Jjun! I mean, you obviously didn't have any for her either, but I hope you keep it that way with these girls. I highly doubt Lea even tried to get to know you at all, given how busy she was posting pictures of y'all on all her socials." His expressions haven't changed much, so you try to conclude your point quickly. “All I'm saying is, it is actually a good thing you’ve never taken these relationships too seriously. There’s more business than emotion with these clout chasers, Jjun.”
Yeonjun is gaping at you now and you're a little confused as to how to take it. Is he surprised at the revelation about Lea? You doubt that to be the case when the entire tale of their romance had been broadcasted all over the campus this past week.
So then…is he surprised at your opinion of things? You sure hope he isn't about to pick a fight with you because you're in no mood to concede. Not about this. Not when you've died multiple deaths every minute that Lea has spent being a pick-me by your best friend's side.
"I… She did have feelings for me, Y/N. They—the girls that I date all have some feelings for me, come on." He gives a small chuckle that is so wry, it makes you fidget in discomfort. “I haven’t taken these relationships that casually. I'm – I’m not some vain playboy, sleeping my way around the college.”
Okay, hold on – what?
What?
How did he take that away from your rant? He's really defending himself when you never even attacked him? When you never would attack him?
"Yeonjun, no… That's not what I'm trying—"
"Let's – let's just drop this." He looks distressed, and the frown on his lips makes your heart hurt. More so because you are the one who put it there. "You won't get it, anyways."
Now that – gives you a pause. "I won't…get it?"
He gets up, unbothered and unabashed, and walks with his tray of empty wrappers and inedible fries to dump it into the trash can near the exit of the cafe. You wordlessly follow, tilting your head in an attempt to catch his eye, but Yeonjun's got some 5 inches on you so you can't really force him to look at you when he doesn't want to.
And now he's walking out of the cafeteria.
"Jjun?"
He sighs and stops, looking over his shoulder, straight into your eyes with a bored stare. "What?"
"What? You're, like, not even gonna explain that last sentence?" 
This time you're the one with the wry chuckle while Yeonjun fidgets in discomfort. 
"What won't I get, Yeonjun?"
"Look, it's… well. You’ve always subtly looked down upon all the girls I’ve dated in college, and that was fine. You’re my best friend, you’re allowed to be a critic.” He shrugs with a nonchalant look in his eyes, but his lips are still twisted sourly. “But… I never realized you thought I was the problem. Someone so vapid that my only appeal is the fame hockey gets me.”
No… literally when did you insinuate that?
You're rendered mute, taken aback by how badly Yeonjun seems to have interpreted your words. He exhales and it sounds very loaded. You don't miss the way he keeps avoiding your gaze; nor the disappointed frown that decorates his forehead.
“You won’t get it because you don’t want me, you’ve never wanted me – and that is absolutely cool! But just because you like to have me as a comedic relief character in your life doesn’t mean that no one sees any depth in me.”
“A… comedic relief character?” your voice comes out low and hoarse and almost tattered, a little shrilly from disbelief. You're not even gonna touch on his 'never wanted him' claim because the rest of his speech has your brain actually spinning. “What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t about you – it’s about these girls… You’re my best friend, Yeonjun!”
“And yet you can’t find one reason why these girls would like me beyond using me for clout.” He gives a shrug and finally meets your eyes again. But his stare is absolutely vacant and unreadable. “You don’t use me for clout, though, and yet you keep me around. You obviously don’t care about my opinions, or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers with Changbin when I told you he was bad news. What else is there to our friendship other than laughing together, then?”
His words are like death blows – each syllable laced with a different kind of poison. Every inhale you take from the air his words have contaminated seems to sear a painful path through your lungs. Breathing hurts. Looking at him hurts. Your eyes are filling up and your tummy is aching.
There’s so much wrong with everything he just said, so much misinterpretation, so many actual blatant untruths, that you don’t even know how to begin correcting them. 
How did you even get here?
You’d only been trying to warn him about girls that might use him. You were only trying to protect his heart.
How did that turn into him thinking you don’t value your friendship with him? That you don’t value him?
“Oh, and by the way,” he continues, pushing both hands into his leather jacket and looking into the distance, “Changbin’s probably gonna ask you to cheer for him this season, which is kind of a big deal because… you know, this out final session and there will be professional scouts present and all. So if you decide to say yes…” He pauses and turns to look at you again, gaze tired and eyes lidded. “If you say yes, I hope you know it’ll mean a lot more.”
Why is he bringing up Changbin again? You’d only exchanged numbers to get that guy's incessant ass off your back – you haven’t even responded to a single text he’s sent you in the past two months. Cheering for him? In a season as important to their careers as this one? 
Absolutely out of the question.
Does Yeonjun not know you at all?
You’re about to tell him that, when he suddenly pulls his phone out with a sigh. “I’m planning to hand my jersey over to Chaeyoung – you know, running for senior cheer captain? Thought I’d ask for your opinion, but… You’ve already made that pretty clear tonight.”
Angry tears blur your vision and your heart hurts as if it’s dying a slow death in your chest.
Chaeyoung, really? So he’s skipping seamlessly from Lea to Chaeyoung. 
Of course. 
Why did you even bother worrying about his heart when he clearly doesn’t even have one. How could you forget.
Maybe it’s a good thing you never let yourself fall for Yeonjun beyond a crush.
“For what it’s worth,” you finally manage to mutter, brows furrowed and gaze focused on your worn out sneakers, “I’m sorry. I was trying to look out for you, not – not hurt you. You’re the most important person in my life, Yeonjun. I could never hurt you.”
You don’t wanna wait around to hear his response, so you just wordlessly walk away. Your dorms are hardly half a mile from here; you can shut yourself in your room and sob into your pillow in less than twenty minutes from now.
The fact comforts you enough to make you walk faster.
And also helps you ignore the pain that runs across your entire body when Yeonjun doesn’t even attempt to stop you.
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You haven’t checked your phone in a while now but it has to have been over six am currently because you can hear your roommate moving around. Stealthily, you pull the comforter down from your face to peer into the dark room, only to hear a loud sigh echo around the place.
“You’re seriously still up?” Yuqi’s disappointed voice calls out. “The crying sounds stopped sometime after four so I reckoned you fell asleep.”
You wince in guilt. “Fuck, Yuqi, I’m so sorry I kept you awake—”
“Woah, what?”
She turns the lights on, suddenly brightening the room. Your roommate’s dressed in her cheer outfit, probably on her way to early morning practice. She is running for captain as well and the voting concludes in five days.
Cheer captain… Chaeyoung…
You can feel another bout of tears coming on, the back of your raw eyes stinging anew. Your head is pounding like someone’s cracked your skull open, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ache that originates from your heart and makes your entire chest cave in on itself.
“Oh my God, babe, you look worse than you sound!”
You click your tongue and rub at your eyes. “I… Ugh, it’s been a weird night, Yuqi.”
She kneels beside you on the floor, face drawn in concern. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” You try to sit up with her help. “I guess?”
“Oh, babe…” Yuqi sits next to you and draws you in an embrace. “What happened?”
“Y–Yeonjun,” you can barely articulate his name before your throat closes up again.
“Ah, man. What’d the idiot do this time?”
Yuqi has been your roommate and your closest friend since freshman year. Needless to say, she knows all about your friendship with Yeonjun and more than a little about your crush on him. She believes he’s too oblivious and doesn’t particularly like him for that reason. More often than not, you’re batting for his defense against Yuqi.
Right now, though, you feel like you’re gonna agree with every colorful word she uses for the guy.
So you tell her exactly what happened – give her a play by play of all the words said and reactions given, receiving hisses and grunts of annoyance in response, until you mention what he said about Changbin and Yuqi breaks your narration with a gasp.
“What the fuck?”
You just sigh and shrug a shoulder. “And he’s picking Chaeyoung to to wear his jersey for the most important season of his life, so I guess it’s whatever.”
“You know, it seemed to me like he was upset and acted out defensively… which would have been okay to a certain point, a misunderstanding that could be cleared out – had he not pulled that Changbin card. Why would he ask you to go after a teammate?” Yuqi tugs at the end of her ponytail in frustration. “And Chaeyoung? Literally the enemy? Now he's just an asshole.”
That last bit makes a small chuckle tumble out of you. “How… how is she, though? As a person?”
It’s so stupid of you to still attempt to look out for Yeonjun when he just dismissed your whole friendship. But you cannot help it.
“She’s… not a bad person, to be honest. As much as it pains me to admit.” Yuqi sighs. “She’s friends with the entire cheer team, friendly with the players, never been a bully to anybody. Hence why she’s running for captain alongside me.”
Should that comfort you? You believe it should. You warned your best friend about girls that might try to use him – and Chaeyoung sounds like she might not be that kind of a person. That’s good news, right?
So why does your heart seem to ache even more?
“Everything just...hurts, Yuqi. So much.” You tip your head against her shoulder. “What do I do?”
“Admit to yourself that you don’t just have aa crush on Yeonjun, for starters?”
You turn to look at her with surprised wide eyes. “What?”
Yuqi just rolls her eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You can’t move on if you don’t admit to it first, can you?”
Move on…?
Is that what you have to do now? Maybe. 
If you want to attempt to salvage any bit of your bond with Yeonjun, it’s best if you at least get rid of the affection that permeates the boundaries of platonic friendship.
“And then maybe text Changbin back,” Yuqi continues. “He’s their goalie. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, he’s nice. Kinda cute? If nothing else, he'll help take your mind off of Yeonjun and Chaeyoung.
You just exhale a deep breath. “Maybe.”
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16:37 | changbin (: congratulations to yuqi! tell her i knew she would make it :D
↪ Haha thanks! Will do!
soooo our first match’s three days away kinda wanted to ask u something before that meet me at the lockers after practice today lol?
↪ Oh it’s Monday already right? ↪ I’ll see you at the lockers, sure! ↪ How does around 7 sound?
perfect~~ just like your eyes >.<
“Ew, man, ewww…”
You press your phone to your chest with a gasp, turning to glare at Yuqi. “Hey! It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder!”
“No, what’s ruder is you not telling me how cringey this guy is!” Yuqi is very close to rolling on the floor, and you really can’t blame her. 
You’ve been texting back and forth with this Changbin guy for over a week now. He’s definitely nice and definitely more than a little cute, Yuqi didn’t lie to you. 
But – the way this dude flirts? Good God. 
Cringe must be an understatement. You have permanent goosebumps at this point because of how often you experience full body shivers out of the absolute secondhand embarrassment he has made you live through, every single day.
On the other hand, there's been radio silence between you and… him. Your best friend. His name sends a painful pang through your chest, so you've been avoiding even thinking about him. And Changbin's been a great distraction on that front.
That is not to say it has helped any feelings to blossom in your heart for the guy. His sweet but cringey self is a friend, at best. Your heart…is obviously elsewhere.
Things became so much clearer once you let yourself think everything over without any pressure and pretense, and admit to what you feel for your best friend, like Yuqi suggested.
Turns out you were wrong, after all. You really haven't succeeded at managing to stop yourself from falling further than a harmless crush for Yeonjun, because this constant hurt that has made home in your chest ever since he stopped talking to you? The wave of gloom that overtakes you whenever you so much as think about him? Surely a lot more harmful than what a crush warrants and surely surpassing best friend territory; by a leap.
The next step was attempting to move on with the help of Changbin, but that clearly fell flat on its face.
Exhaling a tired breath, you send a blushing emoticon back to the guy, and wonder why you're responding to his flirting when you know you've already failed and this is gonna end in tragedy.
“He sends you congratulations for making captain, by the way," you inform Yuqi when she's finally stopped giggling.
“Aw, did he say that was cool? As cool as your hair, maybe?”
You just groan and roll your eyes. “I’m gonna go see him tonight. He’ll probably offer me his jersey…”
That sobers Yuqi up. “Oh. So it’s time, huh? What’re you gonna tell him?”
You give her a wry smile. “What do you think?”
Understanding flashes across her face as Yuqi pats your shoulder in comfort with a sympathetic smile. “Well… At least you tried, yeah?”
Yeah… and failed spectacularly.
And are now hopelessly in love and helplessly heartbroken.
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The locker rooms are nearly empty when you get there by seven. According to Changbin's text, he'll be there in the next five minutes and you are to wait by the rows immediately opposite the entrance to the bathrooms.
For a men's locker, the place is fairly clean and pleasant smelling. 
You're in the middle of inhaling a chest full of some citrusy fragrance when the pitter-patter of a feet reaches you – and then abruptly stops. The small gasp that meets your ears before you've even fully turned around is enough for you to recognise him. 
Why're you bumping into him here of all places?
He's been a ghost around the campus, as absent from your shared classes and the cafeteria as he is from your inbox – your life. 
But here he shows up – to catch you waiting for a guy he's always warned you against and only told you to accept when he was mad at you.
You're beginning to regret this whole thing you began with Changbin even though you're here to end it tonight.
Swallowing, you swerve on your heels to come face to face with a freshly showered Yeonjun, dressed in a fluffy hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, head filling up with thoughts of burying yourself in his embrace. His hair isn't fully dried yet, with some of it sticking to his forehead, but…what draws your attention is how gaunt and tired his face looks. 
There are large purple bags beneath his eyes and permanent frown lines around his lips. You're willing to bet this is not all due to the season's stress, because the last time you saw Yeonjun with dark circles was when you came down with a bad flu in high school and were bedridden for a week. He stayed by your side the whole time, despite both your mothers warning him about catching the infection, and barely slept.
You know it's a little unfair of you to think this way when you're the one that hurt him first, even if unintentionally, but you can't help wondering whether Yeonjun would still care if you caught a flu now. Would he even bother checking up on you, now that he's made it clear that he believes you don't think much of him and your friendship.
Does he still value you and your bond, despite the conclusions he's drawn about your feelings?
"What are you… oh."
Those are his first words to you in over a week, and the absolute disappointment on his face kinda makes up for the lack of verbal cues.
Your fists tighten on your sides, hating the way his eyes fill up with nonchalance and the way his lips purse. Why's he acting like he doesn't care? He should care!
But at the same time, you don't want him to think of you even worse than he has been. So you clear your throat and try to explain, "I've… I'm gonna clear things out with Changbin. Tell him I'm not interested so that he doesn't – he doesn't hope for anything more."
Yeonjun raises an eyebrow up, setting his jaw and lowering his eyelids. "You're good at that, aren't you? Ensuring that people aren't living with false hopes?"
Hearing his voice after so long fills your heart up with an emotion you're probably too inarticulate to explain. But his words, as snidely delivered as they are, confuse you. "What…?"
Rolling his eyes as if explaining himself to you is a waste of time for him, Yeonjun waves a hand in dismissal. "Nothing at all. He'll be heartbroken, though. Was really counting on you cheering for him. Are you absolutely sure you're not interested?"
His patronizing tone is a little too much for you, and even the lower pitch of voice he's using – one that you have always secretly fawned over – isn't able to curb your frustration. "Yes, Yeonjun, I'm sure. He'll live, he'll find someone else." And because you're beginning to feel irritated and jealous, you add, "If his second choice isn't Chaeyoung, that is."
You see the way a vein pops in his forehead and a sense of satisfaction runs through you at having struck a nerve. "Oh, so you've got words to say about Chaeyoung too, then? I thought you'd let her pass because she's famous enough by herself. Cheer vice captain, and all."
He's throwing you bait to rile you up, you know that – but you can't help the fiery fury that overtakes your senses either way.
Stalking up to him, you push a finger against Yeonjun's chest and glare into his wide, surprised eyes. "If you really think she's interested in you for you, go ahead and date her. Don't goad me into giving an opinion when you won't even care about it."
He brings a large hand up to wrap around yours, holding it tight in obvious anger. "Like you care about mine?"
"I'm literally here to say no to Changbin, Jjun! What the hell is your problem?" you yell out, pushing at his chest with your free hand – but to no avail because he holds your other wrist with his other hand as well.
"My problem is that you're saying no because you think this is beneath you!" he yells back, leaning from his towering form to bring his face to the same level as yours. "You think my girlfriends, my lifestyle – everything's beneath you!"
Your mouth falls open in utter shock because once again – this was never about him! "Yeonjun – no! For the last time, no, I don't think that! I don't think you're vain or unlikable, or that anything you do is beneath me, I just – I just fear someone will break your heart if you're not careful!"
"Is that so? You're not judgemental of the girls I date? Didn't you call Lea a – a puck bunny?"
"I didn't mean it like that!" you scream back and lean towards him, leaving barely inches between both of your fuming, frowning faces. "I was just getting metaphorical and, hell, maybe I was jealous because you've never asked me to cheer for—fuck…"
Panicked, you pull away from Yeonjun's loosened grasp, looking away from his raised eyebrows and open mouth.
You did not mean to say that. Not like this, not now… maybe never.
Face heating up like a damn furnace, you stumble away from your frozen best friend in a hurry. If he thought you were sabotaging your friendship before, he's going to absolutely hate you for harboring feelings for him. It's a blatant breach of his trust.
Shit, you should've begun to distance yourself when you first felt the tender tendrils of affection for the cutest fourteen year old guy you'd ever seen. You shouldn't have let those feelings fester – you shouldn't have let them grown into this beast that now stands to swallow your years' long friendship.
Tears prick your eyes, but there's no time to mourn right now – you need to get back to your dorm and bury yourself beneath a pillow before that.
But you've barely made it to the gates to the locker room when a firm hand grips your upper arm from behind and twirls you around. Back pressing into the wall, a gasp is torn from your chest when Yeonjun's huge, twinkling eyes cage you in. His arms resting on the wall next to you are completely unnecessary; you'd stand still through an apocalypse if he pinned you with this gaze of his.
"What…what do you mean you were jealous I never asked you?" he breathlessly questions, literal stars sparkling through his dark irises at you.
Now. If you were not adept at reading your best friend like a book, maybe you would have wondered if coming clean right now would make his eyes brighter or dim them instead. Maybe you would have debated whether lying your way out of this situation and apologizing later would be a good idea. Maybe you would have ducked from under his arms and made a run for it.
But because you have known this boy for more than seven years now, have observed every single expression of happiness and excitement that his face is capable of producing, have admired how adorable hope and anticipation looks on him – because you've loved him since the time you could barely even understand what love meant…you have no reason to doubt.
"I mean I wanted you to ask me, Jjunie. I wanted to be the one that'd be by your side, wearing your jersey and cheering from the stands for you," your voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, but Yeonjun clings onto every single word, given the stutters you can hear in his breathing. "I… I wanted you to look at me when you scored, point at me and tell everyone around us that…"
Your gaze flickers down his face, running across his nose to land on his parted, plump pair of lips. They spread a little to allow an airy chuckle to pass, and then form a wispy, questioning: "That?"
He's moved incredibly close to you, nearly touching your foreheads together and leaving an inch of space between your mouths. You look up into his eyes and they are hooded, spilling happiness, adoration but also something sincere.
"That," you rasp quietly, slowly in the small space between you, "that I'm your girl."
Yeonjun's exhale of minty toothpaste breath washes over your face, forehead tipping over yours and nose sliding against yours. When he speaks next, his lips brush the corner of your mouth and your body grows taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at the barest flick of his hands.
"Are you my girl?"
His voice has gotten incredibly lower and guttural and you just bring your hands up to clench into the fabric of his hoodie to ground yourself. Your eyes slide shut against the intensity of his own, breaths coming shorter and faster.
"I'd – I'd like to be. If…you'd have me?"
"Of fuck, baby, don't you know you've always owned me?"
You barely get a moment to process the term of endearment and the acceptance, let alone the actual depth and true implication of his words, when the softest pairs of lips you have ever felt brush against yours. Tentatively, so lightly that they almost tickle. Gasping in an exhale, you part your eyelids to find Yeonjun looking at you through a similarly shuttered gaze.
"Can I kiss you?" 
Oh God, oh God, oh God—
“Yes, please.”
The words have barely exited you before Yeonjun is erasing any remaining space between you completely by pressing his mouth fully against yours. His lips feel even more softer than they look, molding against yours like a pair of clouds. Combined exhales of relief leave the two of you, breathing just as in sync as your bodies are. Your hands move from his jacket to run across his broad shoulders and your fingers wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.
As if waiting for you to do just that, Yeojun guides both his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, before one of them detours to run past your waist and down your thigh to hook around your knee. His mouth opens against yours, then, teeth biting into the flesh of your bottom lip. With a shuddering gasp, you hold onto him tighter and allow him to lick into your mouth, lost in the taste and feel of him.
His hand grips onto your leg to lift it from the ground and wrap it around his thigh, allowing him to slot his hips against yours perfectly. You can feel yourself spiraling, unable to form coherent thoughts beyond the heady rush of electricity that zaps through you with every pull of Yeonjun's lips. When you begin to grow breathless, his lips detach from yours to slip down your chin and press against your throat.
A mixture of gasp and whine escapes you, making his grip on you tighten and his lips turn bolder in their exploration of your neck. You feel his teeth scraping over your collarbone and shivers run through you, causing your back to arch and press further into his body. He groans against your skin and runs his hand up your leg to caress the delicate skin of your thigh.
You realise this is getting kind of out of hand because you've just confessed your feelings and you're still in the damn locker room, but your eyes can't help but clench shut as your fingers tug on his silky soft hair, silently asking him to keep going. 
But Yeonjun is far more in control of the situation than you are, given the way he turns his kisses from hungry to chaste, slowly. Pressing a closed mouth peck to your cheek, he rearranges his grip on you to pick you up with his hands beneath your thighs, and carries you to a bench. He sits down and drapes your legs over his own to make you straddle him, holding you firmly but softly in place.
He plants a soft, sweet kiss to your lips and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyelids part to the blurry sight of his shining eyes. It takes you a moment to realise you have tears in your eyes – and that he does as well.
With the softest smile that you have ever seen on him, Yeonjun brings a thumb up to your face and flicks at the corner of your eye.
"I've liked you ever since high school, you know?"
Your lashes flutter in fascination. "Really? But you never… you always…"
His cheeks grow pink when you scrunch your nose up instead of finishing the sentence, and he shuts his eyes. "You just never really showed any interest… You never looked jealous or bothered by my love life."
"I was being a good friend!" You chuckle when he rolls his eyes. "Besides, I had plenty to say about the girls you dated?"
He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, still looking at you with a soft gaze, but his lips have twitched into a devastating smirk. "But you never said I could date you instead."
A blast of heat flushes your entire face at his words. Remember when you said he never flirted with you and you were grateful for that? Yeah, you still stand by that. Your heart's racing so fast, it's a wonder it hasn't malfunctioned yet. Yeonjun reads your face, too, and pecks your nose with a giggle .
"I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, baby," he then whispers to you, sounding so forlorn that the sound of his voice, especially with that pet name, makes you wanna cry again. "I should've realized you were jealous…"
"I'm sorry, too, Jjun," you whisper back, hands coming up to play with the drawstrings of his hoodie that your eyes focus on as well, suddenly hesitant to meet his open gaze. "I wasn't careful about my words and hurt you. I was a bad friend."
He chuckles at that, which draws your eyes back to his own again. "To be honest, I was more hurt because your words made me conclude that you would never like me back. So you literally don't have to apologize at all."
A smile blooms on your face. "Can I kiss it better, then?"
"Oh, you can always kiss it better, baby." Teeth flashing and eyes squinting, Yeonjun nuzzles into your neck, full of giggles that you mirror as well.
Right then, a call of your name resounds across the locker rooms.
Wait…
Fuck.
Changbin!
Yeonjun's wide eyes look at you with questions. You just sigh and shrug your shoulders.
"Back here, Bin!"
"Bin?" Yeonjun raises an eyebrow with his eyes narrowed, making you stifle a giggle.
"Should I try Binnie, then?" 
He gasps in outrage, threatening to bite into your cheek, while you lean away to escape him, still suppressing your laughter.
Footsteps echo across the hall before a gasp is heard at the end of the aisle you're seated next to. Changbin stands rooted to his place, mouth agape and eyes wide. You've corrected yourself in your seat, but – your seat's still kinda Yeonjun's lap.
"I… um?"
You purse your lips in apology. "I'm sorry, Bin. I can't accept your jersey."
"I… can see that, I guess…"
To his credit, Changbin doesn't look a lot upset. Just very confused. You decide to try and help him.
"I can, however, get you Song Yuqi's number if you want?"
Instant fireworks explode in his eyes. "What? The – the cheer captain, Song Yuqi?"
"Mm hm. Cheer captain, my friend, my roommate. You know, the one."
"Wow, Y/N, that'd be so cool, man! Thank you!"
And then Changbin's hopping his way out of there without another word. Yeonjun breaks into laughter the moment he's out of sight.
"Poor guy kept asking me if it was okay to approach you and I kept saying we're just friends. He must be so confused, right now…"
You look at the boy who's still cradling you in his lap. "So. We're not just friends anymore, I hope."
He tightens his grip around your waist, eyes doing that thing where they switch from being rounded to suddenly narrowed and intense. "That depends. Do you kiss your just friends like that?"
You nudge his nose with your own, heart thumping at the intensity of his dark eyes and the reality of your changing dynamics with him. "Only the ones I intend to do more with."
Yeonjun's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow further with mischief. "Is that so, baby? Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner date tonight and then we can discuss what more can happen later, hm?"
"I'd like that very, very much." Swallowing past the lump of emotions that suddenly lodges in your throat, you bite your bottom lip and smile. 
He smiles back, but then brings a thumb up to tug your lip free. "Don't bite your lip, baby. You've got me to do that for you, now."
And then he kisses you again.
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© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.
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jolys-cane · 6 months ago
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TOUR THOUGHTS
Saw the Les Miserables Tour at the Princess of Wales Theatre in Toronto on May 21 2024; here are my thoughts (Long read, sorry I have a lot of feelings)
Prologue/Look Down/Valjean's Soliloquy
We got like, holographic waves crashing and the men are rowing a boat LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE it's awesome
Oh my god the pipes on the background actors were so good. THE SUN IS STRONG ITS HOT AS HEEELLL BELOW
I miss Javert's stupid guard hat. Was bareheaded as he gave Valjean his yellow ticket
PETIT GERVAIS?????????? Valjean steals a little boy's coin when he's roaming the countryside 😭
Randy Jeter as the Bishop blew me away. Not just his voice but his acting was FANTASTIC every single movement was like. I am an old bishop. This is how an old bishop moves. Idk idk it was really good
Nick Cartell did a great job w Valjean overall, but I totally loved him as pre-MsurM Valjean the most. He acts like a feral animal, grabbing the wine out of the nun's hands and the bread from the priest all hunched over and practically snarling - very very cool and awesome
At the End of the Day
Not a negative but when we went to At the End of the Day there was very minimal lighting and my first thought was Oh no the lighting broke hope they fix it and we don't have to have a brief intermission but then when they went 'At the end of the day there's another day dawning' the lights went up and I was like OHHHHHHHHHHHH so that's just me not understanding lighting direction
Foreman killed it, so did all of the factory workers I love all the interactions and ad-libbing in the background it makes me so happy to see
Every time I saw a tall graceful ensemble member I was like '"That's Kyle Adams" and 8/10 times I was right. Otherwise it was Daniel Gerard Bittner
I Dreamed A Dream
OKKKK VOCALS???? Haley Dortch has such a beautiful, clear, emotional sound and she left not a dry eye in the house. Literally the second intermission hit my parents and myself were like. Holy shit dude what about that Fantine
I got her autograph after the show and she was so so sweet 🥺 She accidentally messed up her signature and had to redo it and was apologising to me and I was like GIRL you brought the house down you could stab me right now and I'd be like 'Thanks have a good one'
Lovely Ladies / Fantine's Arrest
Bamatabois (David Andino) was a standout performance, really chewed the scenery and I adored every second he was on stage (Plus his costume was fantastic)
The other girls defending Fantine 🥺
I like that after the police show up and they basically arrest all of the ladies and pimps, regular well-off citizens come out to witness Valjean defending Fantine from Javert. Thought it was a nice touch
Fantine's Death
My first and only cry of the evening, Haley Dortch no one does it like you
The Confrontation
If you've heard me talk about the confrontation you'll know that I absolutely hate the new chain choreography, HOWEVER. I really really liked it this time. Preston in particular gave it a lot of physicality that I enjoyed
Nick Cartell is a little guy and I don't really believe that his Valjean managed to knock out Preston's Javert
For some reason the percussion was really loud and I could barely hear the vocals so I don't have many thoughts on them
Master of the House / Waltz of Treachery
MATT CROWLE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS
Both Thenardiers were fantastic, not a crazy amount of ad-libbing but when they did they made it count ("BYE, BAGUETTE")
Madame in particular was hilarious
Master of the House is very busy in a good way, everywhere you look interesting things are happening. Another number where the ensemble shines and you can tell everyone is having a blast
The Bargain was funny as hell, Thenardier tells Cosette to die in his arms and she goes limp when he's saying she's 'often been ill'
Valjean gives Cosette Catherine!
Look Down / The Robbery
Gavroche was super charismatic and confident, really great child actor (Milo Maharlika)
Eponine tosses Marius' book across the stage and he goes "I like the way you always ... tease 😐" They're such cute friends together
After Enjolras and the boys are done their preaching Enjolras gets stopped by a policeman and is told off 😭
During the robbery Montparnasse keeps Marius away by brandishing his little knife at him which I thought was cute
Also! Montparnasse is the only member of Thenardier's gang to escape during the Robbery!!! Which is a nice Brick reference
After Thenardier's 'In the absense of a victim' spiel he does this exact pose
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Gavroche's little 'Clear the streets' 🫡moment is so cute
Stars
God I love Preston Truman Boyd
His Javert is so stalwart and reserved and dedicated, he's kind of robocop and it really really works, and you get to see just a smidge of vulnerability peek out in this song
ABC Cafe / Red and Black
I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT bare with me
Grantaire was absolutely the standout. Slapped Marius' butt with his coat. Stuck his wine bottle dick in Enjolras' face. Offered Combeferre a sip of his wine (who reluctantly accepted). Blew a kiss at Enjolras
Kyle Adams physicality is probably my favourite aspect of his Grantaire - he moves very assuredly, like a cat, in a way that is like okay he's drunk but he's so used to being drunk that his stumbling is more like dancing. I remember reading a fic that described Grantaire's movements in a similar way and I wonder if that was one of the fics Kyle took inspiration from?
OOH they did the wine bottle keep-away thing with Grantaire and Marius which I didn't know they still did so that was exciting
J.T Wood is such a cute Joly I love his voice
In Do You Hear the People Sing Grantaire grabs a gun and holds it at arms-length like it has cooties before handing it off to another student
Combeferre waves the flag both times (Here and in One Day More) and I'm not sure if it's always Combeferre who does that or if it's because Andrew Marks Maughan is clearly the most physically strong of the Barricade Boys
In My Life / A Heart Full of Love
Delaney Guyer is a really good Cosette in that she has a gorgeous voice and also has a lot of personality and actually reacts to things going on around her
Marius (who was played by Christopher James Tamayo for this performance) is such a cute little nerd. You can see him try to figure out what he's going to do, then he throws a rock at Cosette's window and kind of cringes at the noise - he's so unsure of himself and awkward
Cosette is very excited that he's here and closes the window right away, which prompts Marius' 'I'm doing everything all wrong!' until she reappears downstairs and they get to be cute dorks in love
Attack on Rue Plumet
I don't remember a lot but I DO remember that Eponine was really good here
When Valjean is like 'Tomorrow we'll away' Cosette goes 'WHAT? NO!'
David Andino is so good as Babet he is a chronic scene stealer at this point
One Day More
If you know Another thing about me you know I hate the One Day More box-step but it actually did not bug me this time. They put Grantaire next to Enjolras for the marching portion which is cute
On My Own
Holy shit Mya Rena Hunter delivered the most heartbreaking and powerful rendition of this I've ever heard
The Barricade
Loved Feuilly in his little part
Javert is a good spy. If I didn't know the plot of Les Mis I would've been like Holy shit that's Javert? Crazy. I love him drawing the 'plans' he'd overheard into the ground with a stick
Gavroche flipping Javert off >>>>>
Buff Combeferre is one of the two to drag Javert away to be tied up lol
A Little Fall of Rain
The only version of ALFoR that actually made me feel something
Marius and Eponine get a lot of time to be cute together before the barricade actually notices that she's dying - and Gavroche is the first to notice and gets a front row seat to her death which is heartbreaking
The First Attack
Grantaire's "AND SO THE WAR WAS WON!" was sooo scathingly sarcastic
Javert waited, like, 30 seconds to leave after Valjean freed him, with his back almost against the barrel of Valjean's gun as if he were hoping to be shot
When the gun went off the entire barricade abruptly snapped their heads to look at Valjean and the audience laughed 😭
Telling Valjean 'Well done' for shooting a tied up hostage is a strange choice
Drink With Me
I still hate 'For certain as the eagle flies' I think it's the dumbest line in the entire musical
Grantaire's part was very grand - His voice has like noticeably changed at this point in the musical to give it a sort of hoarse hopeless quality to it which absolutely hits you in the feels
Enjolras comforted him and I swear Grantaire let his hand linger on his cheek for a few seconds longer than normal before pushing him away
Gavroche hugged Grantaire from behind and Grantaire couldn't even turn around at first because he was so distraught and kind of blindly reached for him 😭
Chris Tamayo's Marius is such a poor little meow meow
Bring Him Home
Absolutely jaw-dropping performance from Nick Cartell
He sings Bring Him Home like it's a lullaby - which it's supposed to be
I don't exaggerate when I say that the applause went on for about a minute straight, and was the loudest of the night by far
Death of Gavroche / The Final Battle
Oh poor thang
Grantaire near the end of Gavroche's singing was turned away facing the audience like he knew Gav was going to die and couldn't bear to watch 🥺
Later on in the final battle Grantaire spends most of the time next to Gavroche's body in like a catatonic state
The SPOTLIGHTS representing BULLETS as Les Amis died almost made me lose it
Grantaire dies last, I'm sure he said something before he started climbing the barricade but I couldn't hear it 😭He and Enjolras still have their moment over Marius' body
The Sewer
Javert comes across Enjolras' cart-carried body (Still hate the cart but I can learn to appreciate it) and looks a bit uncomfortable
Then he stumbles upon Gavroche's corpse, kneels, and does the sign of the cross over him
Almost made me cry ngl
DOG EATS DOG WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT
Javert looked like he wanted to shoot Valjean as he walked away with Marius
Javert's Suicide
HOOOOOOLYYYY SHIIIIITTTTT
It was so good
Preston Truman Boyd you will always be famous I fully believe that Javert had completely lost his mind at this point in the play
I don't have many thoughts on the rest but I loved Marius and Cosette reading Valjean's confession as he walked away with Fantine - and the Bishop hugging him as he arrives in heaven
Also Kyle Adams as Major Domo mincing about the stage in The Wedding was an absolute delight
Am very sleepy now but overall 10/10 I love this cast so much
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burningcheese-merchant · 25 days ago
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burningcheese evidence part 2 because yes
I'm kind of foaming at the mouth right now, I'm not really going to be 100% coherent in this post, episode 6 has melted my brain and I need to cool off (also I have actual work to finish irl lololol)
Spoilers under the cut, don't want to be That Asshole
Also for the 1,000th time, it is perfectly okay and understandable if you do not like this ship, I'm not holding a fucking gun to anyone's head, I know it's not really canon or anything, just let me have my dark hero/villain relationship in peace
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"Hey where's Golden Cheese? Is Golden Cheese awake yet? Can she wake up now? No? Why isn't she awake? I want her to wake up already, why won't she wake up already? It's implied that I've asked this question multiple times, when will someone give me the answer I want? I want her here, I want her attention, I want her to wake up already-"
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He thinks so highly of her in his Joker-esque way. She's so strongggg. He knows she's strong. Why wasn't she strong before? This isn't like her, he knows that. He knows her. He knows she's strong. He wanted to see her be strong. What happened?
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Wanting to straight up get high with her. Wanting to watch her let loose. Calling her a combination of "little thief" and "little bird", two pet names the BurningCheese community (spearheaded by yours truly) has had Burning Spice assign to Golden Cheese
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"I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T DISAPPOINT ME" bro thinks the whole damn world of her and had faith she wouldn't let him down, look how fucking happy he is she broke out of prison. She's just like him right now fr fr
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She's giving him precisely what he desired, which is a struggle. Which is a chase. Which is a hunt. Which is a FIGHT. Which is HER. HE WANTS TO HAVE FUN WITH HER.
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Bro is literally SMELLING her everywhere dude. He's attuned to her. To her presence.
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"Hey bring her back to me, I miss her. But I swear to God, if y'all hurt her, if y'all ruffle a single one of her feathers, I will KILL YOU, YOU GOT THAT? SHE'S MINE! ALL MINE! BRING HER TO ME ALIVE AND THAT'S IT! YOU GOT IT?!?!?!"
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God the cute sing-song voice I can't right now. Jesus Christ, my guy. Calling to her like that, really??
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Sniffing her out again because he's fucking deranged and obsessed with her. He's got her whole essence on lock. Tracking her down like a fucking bloodhound. He's hungry for her, he's STARVING, he's BARKING MAD THAT ANYONE IS TRYING TO GET IN HIS WAY
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Little bird? Little bird?? Little bird??? LITTLE BIRD??????????
THE NAME I HAD HIM GIVE HER IN MY FIRST BURNINGCHEESE FIC, WHICH I WROTE DAYS BEFORE THIS FUCKER EVEN RELEASED? THE NAME ALL THE OTHER SHIPPERS HAVE HAD HIM CALL HER TOO? YOU CANONIZED THAT? YOU MADE IT REAL? YOU MADE THE PET NAME HE HAS FOR HER REAL??? I CAN READ THIS IN A DIALOGUE BUBBLE FOR REAL? THIS IS IN THE GAME FOR REAL? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW???
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"How good it is to see you in one piece" SMILING AND LAUGHING BECAUSE HE'S GLAD SHE'S OK? TELLING HER SO TO HER FACE? MY GUY
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Every step she takes that is wrong to others is right to him. Bust out of jail? Yes good I like that, I want it, I knew she wouldn't disappoint me. Lead him on, make him chase her, have them play hide-and-seek? Yes good, this is fun, I love the thrill of a chase, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE I CAN FUCKING SMELL YOU I CAN FEEL YOUR FUCKING SOUL YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME LITTLE BIRD. Not taking his own goddamn power back? What kind of fool would make such a stupid, regrettable decisi- JK HE'S GLAD HE MADE THIS DECISION, THAT MEANS SHE CAN BE HERSELF AND KICK HIS ASS STILL, THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED, THIS IS EVERYTHING HE WANTED, SHE IS EVERYTHING HE WANTED! YES! (Also, one Freudian slip of several where he says it's HER Soul Jam and not HIS. He's already handing it over to her in his mind. Why? Why tho? Didn't he want it back? Guess not, huh? Guess having the pretty cheese lady beat his ass was too much of a turn-on, huh???)
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? HE SAYS THIS TO HER? WITH THAT FACE? WITH THAT TONE OF VOICE? SAYING SHE'S LOVELY? THAT WHAT SHE'S DOING IS LOVELY? CALLING WHAT THEY'RE DOING A "DANCE"? TELLING HER TO KEEP IT UP? TELLING HER HE'S THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THIS?
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HE KEEPS TRYING TO REASON WITH HER. HE KEEPS TRYING TO TALK TO HER, TO GET THROUGH TO HER, TO GET IT INTO HER PRETTY LITTLE BIRD SKULL THAT HE'S RIGHT. THAT DESTRUCTION IS THE ONLY WAY. Why go to that trouble? Why does he give a single, solitary fuck what she thinks or feels? Why even bother speaking on the matter at all, if it's a fundamental truth in his eyes already? WHY KEEP TELLING HER TO FIGHT, TO KEEP PUSHING, UNTIL SHE UNDERSTANDS HIM? WHY DOES HE WANT HER TO UNDERSTAND HIM? WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK? And what's this about "and see the day"? Didn't you want to kill her, Burning Spice? Didn't you want to crush her, break her to pieces? Was that another Freudian slip there? Did your mask fall off for a second? DO YOU NOT ACTUALLY WANT HER TO DIE? DO YOU WANT HER TO LIVE, TO STAND UP AND FIGHT, JUST SO SHE'S FORCED TO RECKON WITH THE TRUTH OF YOUR PHILOSOPHY? WHY DO YOU CARE, MOTHERFUCKER? HUH? WHY???
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"Stop teasing me" my brother in the Witches we ALL know you don't mean that. You've been BEGGING her to tease you the past two fucking chapters. Stop lying you dumb fuck, your face is giving it all away anyway
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He's still clamoring for them to get fucking high together, honestly wtf is wrong with him? Drug-fueled combat, is that his kink? Also boy he sure has a vested interest in her enjoying their battle, doesn't he
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She wants more? She wants more of him? She wants more of what he's got? She wants more fun? She wants him to strike a pose that clearly shows off his arms and chest more? YOU GOT IT BABYGIRL-
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"You would destroy everything you have, just to get to me?"
"FUCK YES!!!"
My guy. My man. My cookie. My bro. My dude. Your mask fell off. Your mask fell off, my guy. You just told her point-blank that you'll kill people to get her. You'll blow up your own house to get her. You'll trash everything you ever owned to get her. You even have excuses ready to go to justify it. "Oh, it's all garbage, if you want it go ahead. This place ugly as fuck, I hate it, I wanted it gone anyway." Burning Spice. Burning Spice Cookie. You just admitted out loud that you are so obsessed with her that you will tear down your entire life for her. You just told her that to her fucking face, with a big, dumb grin. You've got the "happy" sprite equipped, buddy. You're HAPPY to tell her in no uncertain terms that all that matters to you is going after her. Fighting her. Getting to her. HER. ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU IS HER!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST FUCKING SAID THAT SHIT OUT LOUD!!!! CAUGHT IN 4K AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAD!!!!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN DENYING THE ALLEGATIONS!!!! THIS CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU IN COURT, BURNING SIMP COOKIE!!!!!!
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If he doesn't compliment her in some way, even indirectly, at least once per conversation, he will spontaneously combust. Pointing out how different and interesting she is, how she breaks the mold, how she defies the cycle of change and history even after it's already chewed her up and spat her out. Just say you want to put your dick inside of her, dude, please this is fucking embarrassing-
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Ok nvm bro is straight up having the biggest, hottest orgasm of his entire fucking life right now, he's straight up speechless, he says like 3 coherent words to her after she awakens and then he's just looking like THIS and smiling so hard his damn is about to be split open by that ecstatic grin. Laughing his stupid, horny, obsessed, creepy ass off. Bro looks like he's CHEERING FOR HER in this shot, are you fucking kidding me? He's HAPPY she got back up, he's HAPPY she got a power boost, he's HAPPY she's kicking his ass, JUST LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE, HE'S SO IN LOVE IT HURTS
And last, but not least:
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Was this really necessary lol
BurningCheese is canon, Burning Simp Cookie is down terminal, we can all fuck off home and die now, I will now be ascending to Heaven (for 5 seconds before God smacks me back down to Hell, because no way I deserve paradise for all of my bullshit lol), thank you goodbye
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Note
My request could also work with carmy and Michael too btw 👀🤭 whatever tickles your muse
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There Goes That Dream.
carmy berzatto x female reader, michael berzatto x female reader
warnings - pure angst. sorry about this. happy valentines day!
masterlist. inbox. valentines masterlist.
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“What’s on your mind, Bear?”
Michael has been watching his little brother carefully for the last thirty minutes. Carmy’s deep in thought, lip bitten between his teeth, eyes unfocused and dissociated.
“Nothin.”
“Right.”
Michael doesn’t say anything else, just allows Carmy to sit in the silence for a minute. He knows he’ll have to fill it eventually.
“Just thinking about Valentine’s.”
“Uh oh,” Mikey laughs, shoving his brother’s shoulder. “You having big feelings, bud?”
“Shut up,” Carmy grumbles, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “I’m thinking about asking someone out, but I’ve left it too late. It’s literally tomorrow.”
“Dude. That means it isn’t too late. You’ve still got loads of time.”
Carmy looks over to where you’re laughing with Natalie, both of you giggling over something she’s showing you on her phone. It’s always been like this, for as long as he can remember. You slotted right into the Berzatto family as if it was your last name too.
Carmen fell in love with you that day. He’s loved you every day since.
It’s been ten years, give or take. He’s learned to live with the fact that he loves you, the way people adjust to new climates, or life altering injuries. He knows he has no choice but to carry on.
For the first time in what feels like forever, you’re both single. Unattached to anyone, ready for a new connection. And if that isn’t a sign from the universe, Carmy doesn’t know what is. He’s sick of waiting, sick of pretending like he wouldn’t take a bullet for you at any given moment. He figures it’s now or never. He’s waited long enough.
“Carmen,” Michael says firmly, shaking him back to reality. “Whoever it is - she’s a lucky girl. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. You’ll be okay.”
Carmy nods, knowing that his brother doesn’t understand, not really - but he’s trying to. You’re not just some girl. You’re the girl.
“Yeah, okay. I’m gonna do it. Later tonight, I think.”
“Good man.”
Mikey leaves him alone, smacking him on the back as he goes. Carmy’s buzzing with anticipation, ready to finally commit to the one thing he’s thought about doing every single day for the better part of a decade.
He stands in the kitchen for a while, trying to concoct the perfect plan. Eventually, he figures that it is literally now or never… and he has to choose now. He makes his way out to the living room and over to Natalie.
“Sugar, have you seen-”
“She’s outside. Out front.”
She already knows who he’s looking for. Because he’s only ever looking for you.
Carmy swings open the front door, ready to yell your name, when he sees you.
You’re sat on the curb, with Mikey next to you. You look like you’re deep in conversation, your eyes never leaving the older man’s face. Carmy figures you’ll be done soon, so he waits on the front step for you.
You laugh, and Mikey gets closer to you, so your thighs are pressed together on the cold sidewalk. Your eyes are still on his, and there’s this look that Carmy can’t quite place. He’s never seen it before, but it’s intense - focused, grounded, warm. There’s a feeling in the pit of his stomach, suddenly. He doesn’t like it.
Michael cups your face in his hands, and Carmy knows exactly what’s about to happen. He can’t look away, no matter how badly he wants to.
You meet him halfway, leaning in to kiss him with a passion that can only be created by time. Yearning, pining, waiting - that’s what this kiss is. It’s an amalgamation of patience.
You separate, lungs heaving, beaming grin on both of your faces.
“I’ve been waiting for you to do that for so long,” Carmy hears you say. “Years, Mikey.”
You’re both laughing, blissfully unaware of Carmen’s heart shattering into a thousand pieces mere feet away.
Michael was wrong, earlier. The worst thing that could happen is this.
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294 notes · View notes
pauleentology · 9 days ago
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Ben Clark's trauma🩷
His mischaracterization is literally crazy bro especially on those Wattpad fanfictions I cannot bring myself to finish any of them because they all portray ben as the big quiet dude😖 he is so much more than that oms
Trauma analysis
in my honest opinion, Ben had the worst backstory ever of all of them like it was literally so brutal and for WHATTTTTT (jk red knows how much i like traumatized teenagers)
Imagine being judged by your appearance and not being able to make much friends because of being too "intimidating" just because of your size, and being judged for how you express yourself because it isn't what others expected of you to do, then ultimately being bullied for it just because your appearance didn't match your personality.
Imagine being feared by everyone and persistently being offered by bully-groups and punks to join them because all they see in you is a weapon and not a human being all because your size isn't that of your age?? Finally building up the courage to show everybody that you're more than just the dangerous giant they see you as and actually perform, but they choose not to listen to your voice and focus on why somebody of your size is singing instead of fighting and slacking because they're just that shallow.
Then at 12 years old having that one thing you love most taken from you because you refused to become something you're not, losing your way of expression, spiraling into depression not long after.
The moment he wakes up in the hospital, trying to speak or say anything but all that comes out is broken words and strained breaths. How disgusted he must've been after hearing his shattered voice for the first time— that his greatest treasure just slipped away from him like that, and the thought that he would never be able to sing again slowly settling in.
Being so blinded by rage and having that much anger inside of you that you just give up on controlling it and let it all out in forms of street fighting and brawling, becoming so numb and addicted to the sensation that you can't bring yourself to stop no matter how much you want to.
Coming home from school to see his house set in flames from spite of a fight HE started. Seeing his parents and little sister grieving over the loss of their home— all because of him and his rage.
The realization creeping in that you've become the one thing that you swore to never be. That all the pain and beatings you endured, all in vain because you gave in anyway. You gave in on your own volition. The hate he must've felt towards himself because he was the cause of their pain. Seeing himself as a monster. Realizing how much people he'd hurt because of his lack of self-control and rage.
The day his parents broke to him the news that he'd be staying at his cousin's house for the time being, thinking that they didn't want him around anymore. Him thinking that he was so dangerous his own parents had to ship him off someplace else. He'd hurt everyone around him, and it took so much for him to realize it. He'd look at himself in the mirror— and instead of seeing the innocent little boy what he saw instead was a rage-filled monster everyone feared but this time for good reason. How he'd lost himself completely, and there's nothing he can do to undo everything that happened.
How scared he must've felt that he might hurt Aiden's family too like he hurt everybody around him, and how much he hated himself for not being able to control it.
Finding comfort and belonging with Aiden again for the first time in forever— a newfound peace and purpose after picking up multiple hobbies and a new kind of happiness after meeting the SBG group. Buttttt at the cost of having to brush with death every single night and watch two of his friends die— imagine how he felt when they were talking about how they could be becoming phantoms, how it would all happen again. The feeling of becoming the one thing you sought to destroy and having no control over it was all too familiar to him. The fear he must've felt realizing that everything from his past would repeat itself this way, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Nobody ever talks about his reaction during Aiden's death. Watching his cousin and bestfriend get crushed by a ceiling right in front of him and not being able to do anything since he was still covering Tyler. The cousin that took you into their home, understood you, stayed with you, and saw you as a normal human being rather than a dangerous giant. The person that was able to finally make you feel what it felt to belong for the first time in your life— and watching that person die infront of you. And he just had to stay there— he couldn't do anything to save him. After all, he never could.
The constant reminder that he had no control over anything in his life.
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ssivinee · 11 months ago
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✧Magnetic✧
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Bada Lee x F Reader: You, the popular and cheerful cheer team captain, and Bada, the blunt and somewhat rebellious dance team captain, never crossed paths, but she may have had a crush on you. But someone was standing in Bada's way.
Word Count: 4.1 k
Note: Sorry for being gone for a while guys, finals were hitting hard AND THEN I got sick😭. BUT IM BACK AGAIN, AND THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 700 FOLLOWERS🥹.
Character Vision Board
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College life was the epitome of deteriorating mental health, but for some people, it was somewhat enjoyable. It was the years of exploring early adulthood, something that helped people look forward to the long years.
You were one of them.
You stood there with your friends at the side of the hallway, pretty in your cheer uniform with the school colors. Your long dark hair was tied up into a high ponytail, revealing your beauty to the student body. The way you stood there, hand on the curve of your hip, your stance looked powerful and cute at the same time as a laugh escaped your lush lips.
“Bada, you need to stop staring at the girl. You’re gonna burn holes into her,” Tatter tells the older girl, and Bada rolls her eyes. “I can’t help it, she’s just so-“ Bada couldn’t even let out a sentence as her eyes drifted back onto you, letting out a groan. “-so beautiful.”
“Literally, just go talk to her,” Lusher suggests, and Bada scoffs. “I can’t be so random. We live in two different worlds.”
Which was true. You were the captain of your school's cheer team, had good grades, and a well-known sweetheart. Bada, on the other hand, was captain of the dance team, had mediocre grades at best, and seemed to have a slight attitude problem with strangers.
Yet here she was, head over heels for you, only gazing from afar. She didn’t understand what it was about you, though. There was no interaction. The two of you were polar opposites. So what truly was it?
It all started in her first year when Bada was in Biology class, grueling over the topics on the first day. You walked in late, sporting a tight-cropped hoodie and some sweatpants. You spoke to the professor in private, trying to give a proper explanation for your tardiness.
Meanwhile, in Bada’s eyes, you looked adorable with your messy bun and glasses. A picture she couldn’t get out of her head for years. Then she saw you in your uniform for the first time after two weeks. If only you saw how Bada almost kneeled for you in front of her friends. No decorum to be found in sight.
She would’ve gone up to you… only if she didn’t see a man’s arm wrapped around your waist.
Unfortunately, you were dating Choi Hanseoul, the school's most popular jock. You guys were the embodiment of a power couple. Your boyfriend was the captain of the football team, rich, and his face made everyone fall for him. Not Bada, though.
She never knew what you saw in the boy. Feeling as if a hefty amount of fog clouded his true self. It had girls in a trance that Bada couldn’t understand.
She would have cared less, but he has you.
Hanseoul was the biggest obstacle in Bada’s way. It made seeing him an all-out war in her mind. Every. Single. Time. 
All she wanted to do was punch the dude hard and run off with you. But she knew how much you cared for him. It was evident in your eyes, and every time Bada saw it, she felt as if she had been stabbed multiple times.
Why couldn’t you just be hers?
That’s been her dilemma for the past three years, and now you two are seniors, yet she still did nothing about her feelings. It was just that difficult for her.
“Is there a game later today?” Minah asks, a bit confused at your choice of attire. “Yeah, later today at six,” Lusher says, checking her phone to make sure she’s correct. “Are we going to that?” 
“Of course, we are since Bada unnie is quite literally in love with the girl that cheers for our school,” Tatter responds, cutting off Kyma as she teases the older girl. “Oh please, I’m sure you wanna see Audrey as well,” Tatter shrugs at Bada’s comment, “at least I admit that.”
“Oh, whatever.”
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Bada usually didn't care much for the games; her focus was solely on you. When halftime rolled around and the cheer squad made their way to the field, Bada's attention intensified. You stood at the center of the group, ready to perform. As the music started, you danced, pom poms in hand, your face beaming joyfully. These moments were always different for Bada, who usually paid little attention to the sports events. She couldn't help but be captivated by how you moved, your energy infectious, and your happiness evident.
With each jump, twirl, and wave of your pom poms, Bada drew herself further into your presence, making her feel warm inside. The cheers from the crowd faded into the background, and it was as if there were only you and the music, creating a vigorous atmosphere. Even though the routine seemed straightforward, you managed to pack it with a surprising amount of emotion. Your genuine smile never wavered, and it seemed to Bada as if you were dancing for the crowd and the sheer love of the moment.
As the choreography reached its peak, the applause from the audience echoed around the stadium as everyone stood up, guaranteeing the success of the halftime show. Bada, however, remained in her seat, still caught in a trance. The world outside the bleachers ceased to exist for her, leaving only the lingering echoes of the dance and the desire to understand the joy that seemed to feel at that moment.
Bada kept her eyes on you while your attention faded from the crowd as you ran up to Hanseoul. He lifted you by your hips, twirly you around in his arms, and Bada heard the squeals of joy from your lips. You giggled at the warm feeling of Hanseoul’s face on your stomach, balancing yourself by placing your hands on his shoulders.
Every other student ‘awed’ when seeing the two of you…
and Bada just wanted to puke. 
Why did it feel like the world wanted her to suffer?  
Yet she wasn’t aware of what was happening behind closed doors.
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“Are you fucking serious right now?” Hanseoul asks you, arms resting on his knees, anger seething face. “I can’t help it when people talk to me, Hanseoul. Besides, it was for our damn History project,” you explain with frustration, gripping your hair. You were annoyed, constantly having to explain yourself. 
“Seungjae shouldn’t be talking to you, period, Y/n. He could just text you,” Hanseoul says, poking at your chest lightly several times. 
This was how it always was. The constant arguing and the absurd amount of jealousy were unbearable. It was like being locked in a cage, an animal wanting to taste the sensation of freedom. 
Almost every night, you cried and hated yourself for it. 
You put up this everlasting strong front to be “miss perfect” because it was all you knew. It was exhausting, needing to hide the fact that you were only human like everyone else. So why were you staying with Hanseoul?
Well, you did love him at the start. He was a sweetheart, someone who was willing to put you before themselves. Then, something shifted in the air when you both hit your third year of university. The two of you got busier, becoming vice-captains of your team, having multiple advanced placement classes, and being in different friend groups, which caused a stir within the relationship. 
You were noticeably blossoming into even more of a woman, triggering something in Hanseoul’s mind. The man suddenly became possessive, which you thought was cute at first… until it wasn’t. He inserted himself in areas of your life that were supposed to be for your enjoyment only, seemingly becoming rather obsessed with you.
The reason for staying with Hanseoul was to stay afloat within the school. The thought of being a nobody terrifies you, not because of the popularity, but because of being alone. Hanseoul at least kept a certain comfort around, even if it was suffocating.
“I’m tired of talking about this, Han. I need to head to class,” You tell him, picking up your bag as you leave the private study room, clearly over the entire argument. You freshen up in the bathroom, fixing your disheveled hair and reapplying the pink gloss that faded from all the words being yelled at in the past hour. As you stared at yourself in the mirror, you smiled, trying to find something to grasp onto. You didn’t care if it was hope, happiness, or even the thought of your exhausting assignments. You just wanted your mind off of him.
But you fail, the smile fading quickly as a heavy sigh leaves your freshly glossed lips. A wet feeling muddled your eyes as you hung your head low, leaning on the bathroom sink. Seeing the droplets of tears coming down, you take a deep breath and wipe them away. “You’re better than this Y/n. No one can tell you otherwise,” you give yourself a pep talk, dabbing your face with the use of your sleeve, sniffling every bit of sadness that escaped.
You walked out of the bathroom, looking like your usual happy self, as people greeted you warmly. Rushing your pace, you enter the lecture hall to find the room filled, a single empty spot next to an individual with a black hoodie covering their head.
“Miss Kim, you’re late,” your professor states, making eye contact with you. You were about to say a random excuse, but your professor had a glimpse of your slightly red eyes. “You may go take your seat, and you didn’t miss much.”
You bow with a tight-lipped smile and make your way over to the only open seat. As you settle down and pull out your laptop to begin typing away, Bada raises her head from all the shuffling. The tall dancer was about to tell you to shut up so she could nap but froze when she saw you.
Feeling the piercing gaze on you, you turned to your right to see Bada’s pretty face, eyes wide, and mouth slacked open. “I’m sorry. Was I too loud?” Bada could only shake her head, not trusting any sound that could possibly come out of her mouth right now. 
You look at the blackboard, then look back at her, “I can take the notes and give them to you after class. If you’d like, at least?” Bada then shyly nods her head as you smile.
You paid attention as usual, and Bada thought she couldn’t do her usual ‘admire from afar,’ afraid of being caught. Yet you were so focused on the notes that you didn’t even seem to notice the slight peaks Bada would take.
She looked at your lips, the ones she wanted to kiss so much. Your nose, the cute shape of it, makes her heart swell. Then, your eyes, the feature that she loved about you dearly. 
But she pauses. Your eyes looked agitated, an ounce of redness prevalent. They weren’t the sparkling ones she adored. You were crying.
It had Bada’s heartbreaking in pieces, and she knew it would be weird to ask, but she couldn’t help it. “You okay?” You stiffened at Bada’s mumbling tone, not expecting the sudden question. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” 
“You’re eyes… they’re red.” You pause, not knowing how to respond. “Um, I’m okay. Thanks for worrying, Bada.” The tall girl smiles at your words as you give her your famous smile. Then Bada was hit with a realization…
You knew her name.
Bada keeps her head down as her face heats up. Of course, you knew her name. You somehow knew everyone on this campus, so it shouldn’t be so shocking. But it was to Bada, the same girl who believed she shouldn’t have even existed in the same stratosphere as you.
After classes, Bada had left the room and found you leaning against the wall, phone in hand. When you meet each other’s gaze, you pull up an empty contact profile, “Let’s switch numbers so I can send the notes?” “Oh, um, yeah, sure.”
You give her your phone, and she types away. You were almost starstruck for the quick glimpse at the tall dancer. For the first time in your life, you were close to the famous woman on the campus. 
You knew your height difference, but her practically towering over you, even from a foot away, had your heart racing. Her eyes were sleek as she focused on the screen, her pink bottom lip being bit due to concentration. She is gorgeous, you thought, as your heart fluttered for the first time in a year. 
You freeze at the feeling, not knowing how to react, as Bada returns the phone. “I’ll send them to you later.” The tall girl just nods.
For the next two weeks, you and Bada messaged back and forth. It was mainly for your notes with pretty handwriting, but there were little conversations here and there.
Every time you send your notes, you leave little messages. 
‘Hey Bada! These are the notes from today. Hopefully you have a good night😊.’
‘I heard you had a dance competition today and won first place! Congrats on the win, captain!!! Here are the notes from today's lesson. Have a good night!’
‘BADAAAA! I saw the video of ur performance! YOUR SO COOL! There aren't many notes today, but I’ve been watching the video on repeat… i just wanted to let yk, good night!’ 
Bada found them endearing, and she felt like you were trying to become her friend, so why not reciprocate the energy? The next day, Bada decided to come up to you while you sat down with Hanseoul in the cafeteria. His arm was placed around your shoulders, and you looked uncomfortable, trying to hide the fact.
“Y/n?” You look up and see Bada’s cold gaze contradicting with a small smile. Seeing the woman made you feel more relaxed in your current position. You weren’t extremely close with each other within the two weeks, but both of you gave each other the calming feeling you needed. 
“Oh, Bada, what’s up?” 
“I was hoping you could help me with the assignment Mr. Kwon gave us on Monday?” The tall dancer asked with a glimmer of hope but noticed the cold stare Hanseoul was giving you, which you clearly chose to ignore. “Oh, of course. Text me when your classes are over?” “Yeah, I can do that.”
You smile and notice the glares on your right, and you internally scoff, “Bada, Hanseoul, and I still have class, but I’ll see you later, okay?” Bada nodded and watched the two of you walk off, not before Hanseoul looked back over his shoulder with a glare.
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“Gosh, I’m sorry I took so long, Bada. Were you waiting for a while?” You asked, panting as you rushed to the cafe where Bada sat, notes and laptop out on the table. “No, no, I wasn’t. I only got here about five minutes ago. I mean, are you okay though?” Bada notices your red face, and one could assume it is because you rushed to get here, but Bada knows that no matter how tired you are, you still look pristine.  
You and Hanseoul were arguing AGAIN. This time, it is about you hanging out with Bada. This time, you walked out, not even saying a peep about the situation. You believed Bada was harmless, and I mean, how bad could she be when all she wanted was help on an assignment?
“I’m fine, just a little rushed because of the wind.”
“Let’s get this started then?” You ask, and she nods excitedly, her eyes puppy-like as she looks at you. You giggle as you take out your belongings on the table. 
As you began to teach the assignment, Bada's eyes remained fixed on you. She watched your every movement, hanging on to your words with an eagerness that wasn't lost on you. It was a side of Bada you hadn't seen before – a softness and admiration that contrasted with her usual bold demeanor.
After a while, you couldn't help but notice Bada stealing glances at you, her cheeks tinted with a subtle blush. It made you feel a warmth inside, a pleasant surprise to witness this more vulnerable side of her. You continued explaining the assignment, but a small smile played on your lips as you couldn't ignore the adorable sight of Bada trying to conceal her admiration.
As the tutoring session progressed, Bada became more at ease with the assignment and in your presence. Her initial shyness seemed to dissipate, replaced by a newfound comfort. It was as if a bridge had been built between you two, connecting your worlds in a way that transcended the academic subject.
Feeling the positive energy, you suggested, "You're catching on quickly. How bout we take a break and grab something to eat? There's this new tteok shop nearby."
Bada's eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly, her usual confidence returning as she agreed to the break. As you both stepped out of the cafe and into the crisp air, Bada hesitated momentarily as if contemplating something. Then, with a shy smile, she looked up at you.
"Hey, the dance team’s holding a party for the end of the semester. It's gonna be fun, some drinks and games. Would you, uh, wanna come?" Bada's usual straightforwardness wavered, revealing a side of her that caught you off guard. The contrast from her usual boldness made the invitation even more endearing.
You couldn't help but smile at her, charmed by the unexpected sweetness in her invitation. "Sure, I'd love to go to your party. Just send me the details?"
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“You’re not going to that fucking party, Y/n,” you heard Hanseoul’s voice from the phone as you did your hair. You had already changed into a short pink velvet bodycon dress, and your face had a pretty natural makeup look on.
Hanseoul's eyes widened in disbelief as your words hung heavy in the air. The room felt tense, the weight of the impending decision settling in. Your frustration with the argument about the party had peaked, and your voice's weariness underscored the toll the disagreement had taken on you.
Ignoring the brewing storm of emotions, you continued to adjust your hair, focusing solely on your reflection. The gravity of your words seemed to take a moment to register with Hanseoul, who, up until then, had been more concerned about controlling the situation.
"Is that how it's gonna be?" he finally responded, the question tinged with a mix of surprise and frustration.
You took a deep breath, meeting his gaze through your phone's screen. "Hanseoul... let's break up."
The words hung heavy in the silence that settled over the conversation. Hanseoul's face displayed a mix of shock and disbelief as if he hadn't anticipated the conversation taking such a drastic turn. The realization of the gravity of your decision seemed to dawn on him slowly.
"All because of a damn party?" he retorted, his tone a blend of incredulity and frustration. The question hung in the air, demanding an explanation for what seemed like an abrupt and drastic choice.
You sighed, weariness evident in your eyes. "It's not just about the party, Hanseoul. It's about us, the constant arguments, and not being on the same page. Reevaluate our entire relationship, THEN come back to me when you figure out what's wrong."
The weight of the words loitered, the truth behind them almost finalizing the reality of the situation. Your phone screen displayed Hanseoul's stunned expression, frozen in time as your words sank in. The decision to end a relationship was easy, and in that moment, it felt like a necessary step towards finding the peace and freedom you sought.
As the Uber left you at the entrance of the large Airbnb, the pulsating bass of music echoed through the walls, announcing the lively gathering inside. Stepping through the door, you were immediately immersed in a sea of lively young adults, almost all grinding and throwing it back on each other. Intoxicated laughter and the scent of various drinks filled the air, chaoticness evident with the blink of an eye.
Your gaze swept through the crowd, ultimately landing at the back of the room where your eyes locked with Bada's. A warm and genuine grin lit up her face as she navigated through the lively crowd to greet you.
"I'm so glad you could make it," Bada exclaimed, enveloping you in a hug that allowed the sweet scent of your perfume to waft into her senses, prompting a contented sigh. "Let's get you a drink?" Her offer was met with your enthusiastic nod, your bright smile reflecting the excitement that animated Bada's expression.
As the night unfolded, you found relief in the company of those around you, downing the five shots as you sought a sense of comfort. Bada remained silent by your side, her attentive presence never leaving in the midst of the lively crowd.
Observing your somewhat jittery demeanor, Bada leaned in, her voice cutting through the loud music. "Hey, wanna get some fresh air?"
Your response was hesitant but agreeable, and you found yourselves venturing to the backyard together. Settling into the outdoor arrangement, the subtle ambiance of the solar lights provided a short break from the energy inside. Bada, with a discreet cough, broke the silence.
"So, what's going on, Y/n?" she inquired, her eyes reflecting genuine concern. "Something's on your mind."
Caught off guard by her perceptiveness, your eyes widened, followed by a heavy sigh. It seemed you weren't as secretive as you thought. "Um, Hanseoul and I—"
"We broke up…"
The words hung in the air, and Bada, despite wanting to be empathetic with you, couldn't help but feel a surge of joy at the news. It wasn't that she took pleasure in your pain, but the idea of being there for you in a time of vulnerability sparked a glimmer of hope in her eyes. As you opened up about the recent breakup, Bada couldn't deny the swirling emotions within her, realizing that this unexpected turn of events might have worked in her favor.
In the hushed serenity of the backyard, Bada's eyes softened as she looked at you. Her gaze showed genuine warmth as she spoke, "I'm sorry to hear that, Y/n. I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to or just hang out with."
Your gratitude was evident as you met her eyes, appreciating the sincerity of her offer. But you couldn’t be happier where you were right now. A party, something you haven’t experienced by yourself in years, made you… happy. The past few weeks, Bada proved to be something as relaxing as a home, a source of comfort and understanding as you navigate the rough patches of your now-old relationship.
"I was thinking... Maybe we can go to the amusement park next week? Just the two of us?" The uncharacteristic shyness in her voice only added to the charm of the moment.
Surprised but genuinely touched, you couldn't help but smile. "I'd love that, Bada."
The air was filled with silence, and as your eyes met Bada's, a warmth exuded from the connection between you two. The party continued around you, but everything seemed to fade into the background at that moment.
As the night unfolded and the stars took their place in the sky, Bada hesitated momentarily. The music played softly, creating a backdrop for what felt like a turning point. In a soft voice, almost drowned by the rhythmic beats, Bada confessed, "Y/n, I... I really like you."
The words hung in the air, and the vulnerability in Bada's admission mirrored the uncharted territory you both found yourselves in. The realization that this wasn't just a friendship but something more settled in and your heart echoed the sentiment.
A tender smile played on your lips, and with a sincerity that matched the atmosphere of the evening, you replied, "Bada… I think I like you too." 
Your words left the two of you smiling, and Bada couldn’t bear facing you as she felt her cheeks growing red fast. Your fingers steadily make their way to her hands that lay flat on the bench, and without her noticing, you take her warm hands into yours. The feeling had Bada look up in shock, and you giggle at the reaction. Bada’s flustered state always seemingly amused you. Just never used to the out-of-character responses.
“I can get used to this,” you say, smiling as you stare into the starry skies. “Yeah,” Bada responds, staring at your pretty face, “I definitely can too.”
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Tag list (OPEN): @bada-lee-ily @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @nimixe @lorenztired @sammybeefangirls @cephox @1luvkarina @pinksults @princhii
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jooillusion · 2 months ago
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𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙖𝙘 𝙝𝙪𝙚𝙨 — o. seungmin
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[ outline. ] - one of you and your boyfriends favorite things to do together. he’s the painter and you’re his muse.
[ content + warnings. ] - college au, artist!o.de x reader + pet names, lingerie, kissing, suggestive but no smut, seungmin is a simp, they’re in love and it’s sickening, not proofread
[ word count.] - 2k
𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐒 .ᐟ this is quite literally inspired by my xdh lingerie reaction post if you want to check it out here! you don’t have to read it but i mentioned that the wardrobe is full of shades of purple, so this was a random thought turned into a fic lol. hope you enjoy!
seungmin’s clammy hands gather his belongings from the table as soon as the clock hits three pm. he didn’t want to endure another second of hearing his professor’s painfully bothersome voice piercing his ears, he could literally do anything better for an hour and a half rather than hearing them whine and moan about every single thing. besides, he was looking forward to going to his shared apartment and maybe cuddling up next to his girlfriend who’s most likely out of her classes and watching some television. he’s definitely prepared for what ever story she has bubbling in her throat for him as her fingers run through his hair, his head laying on her chest and his arms around her torso wrapped in a warm embrace.
he’s definitely prepared for what ever story she has bubbling in her throat for him as her fingers run through his hair, his head laying on her chest and his arms around her torso wrapped in a warm embrace. it became a routine at this point, so he wouldn’t be surprised if she was on their couch laying on her back waiting for him. the thought of it etches a smile onto his lips.
“hey seungmin,” seungmins head turns towards the voice next to him, his actions of putting his notebook in his bag halting. the voice belongs to jiseok who’s already all packed up and ready to go, his hand in his pocket and a grin taking over his features. seungmin raises an eyebrow. “wanna get some drinks with me and the guys tonight? it’s been a while since all six of us hung out.”
seungmin rolls his eyes, knowing that jiseok loves to exaggerate. it’s only been four days since he last saw all of his friends. 
“i have homework to do,” seungmin glances down at his watch to make his case more believable. “like right now.”
“bullshit.” he snorts. jiseok knew he was going to lie, since that was his excuse almost every single time he just wanted to go home in a rush. jiseok audibly sighs, his fingers pinching his nose bridge and his head shaking from side to side. “your only “homework” is that girlfriend of yours huh?” he makes sure to emphasize the word to at least fill seungmin’s gut with guilt. he’s proven wrong again though, since seungmin stands proud with no shame at all, the sheepish smile on his face full of pride.
“you sound jealous as if you wanna be my girlfriend.” seungmin coos as he finishes placing his things in his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and making his way towards the exit door of the lecture hall. jiseok scoffs and ignores his comment, trailing next to him.
“cmon man. ever since you two got together, it’s been like a rarity to actually see you out.” 
“that’s because i have priorities. and my main priority right now is doing my homework.” seungmin emphasizes just like jiseok did earlier, smirking at a disgusted jiseok who jokingly gags.
“ugh enough with the homework thing!” jiseok raises his voice in slight irritation and it only makes seungmin laugh. “you’re so gross dude.”
“i didn’t say which kind of homework i was doing.” seungmin’s purposefully obnoxious laughter dies down, his eyes not missing the scowl sewn onto jiseoks face. “hey, maybe next time dude. pretty sure she misses me more than you guys.” seungmin’s palm lightly pats at jiseoks shoulder, the supposedly reassuring gesture only making jiseok roll his eyes.
“yeah okay. that next time better be a promise.” jiseok finally goes his own way. seungmin shakes his head playfully as he watches the boy walk away, walking to his own car once he’s out of sight.
“it’s not even what he said it’s just the way he said it!” your voice rings through seungmin’s ears like a bell, the pent up frustration that you’ve been holding in all day slowly leaving as you rant to seungmin. he doesn’t mind at all, nodding his head after every sentence you finish. 
he sets the blank canvas on his easel, sitting upright in his stool and turning towards you. he can’t even feel bad since you’re sporting an adorable pout on your face. “you weren’t even listening were you?”
he chuckles and shrugs. “i listened enough to know this happened before.”
“and what is that supposed to mean?” you scoff and raise an eyebrow.
“it means that i know you so well. you know like a good boyfriend.”
“yeah yeah whatever..”
seungmin stands up from his seat. “c’mon babe i was just joking.” he wraps his arms around you, kissing your cheek. “you know i’m always on you’re side even if you’re in the wrong.”
you laugh. he was definitely being ridiculous, but it made you feel even more better.
“i guess boyfriend who just knows me so well.”
you hear him quietly snicker through his nose, the air hitting you’re ear. 
“how about you go ahead get ready for me, yeah? the sooner we start the sooner we could lie down.”
he lets go of you, nudging his head towards the bathroom down the hall. he watches you prance down the hallway and into your shared bedroom. seungmin follows a few seconds after once you’ve retrieved the bag from your bedroom, getting ready to step into the bathroom to watch you change. he’s seen your body countless times before, yet he always gets giddy just thinking about it as if he’ll see if for the first time again.
but what he doesn’t expect is the wooden door of the bathroom to slam right in front of his face. he stands still, not believing what just happened until he tries again, attempting too turn the knob only for it to not budge.
seungmin leans against the frame of the bathroom door from the outside, his arms crossed.
“and why am i not allowed to see my girlfriend of nearly a thousand years change again?”
“i want it to be a surprise,” seungmin hears from the other side of the door. “if you see me change into it now, it’d ruin the shock factor.”
“i was standing right next to you when i bought it-“
“yeah but you haven’t seen it on me yet, so get lost!”
seungmin rolls his eyes. he obliges your orders, quietly stepping away and returning to his stool. he preps his tools, squeezing paint onto the wooden palette and tying a smock around himself. he hears you open the door not too long after, turning his head to get a glimpse.
he’s once again met with nothing, only being met with your loud voice booming through the hallways.
“close your eyes and i’ll tell you when i’m in there!”
he sighs with the slightest tinge of irritancy, closing his eyes anyways. he hears a little bit of shuffling until he doesn’t, but feeling the presence of something in front of him, his eyes fluttering open once he hears your command.
seungmin feels as if his air is stolen straight from his lungs. the first thing he sees is the lace corset that hugs your torso just right, the decorated lace in the shape of hearts and in his favorite color—purple, the shade of lilac to be exact. his eyes follow the pattern down to the stockings clipped to the lacy stocking clipped to the corset along with some panties, all sharing the same shade of color.
he knows he’s gawking, his jaw growing sore but he can’t even notice as he debates whether or not he should follow up with the activity, instead trying to savor as much of the image in front of him as he can.
his hand unashamedly reaches out to touch, a light slap swatting his hand away.
“maybe afterwards babe.” you giggle, turning around to walk to the middle of the room. seungmin gets a full glimpse of the thin piece of fabric that sits in the slit between your ass. you weren’t wearing panties, you were wearing a full on thong. and it sends seungmin into overdrive.
he nearly chokes on his spit, clearing his throat and pushing up the glasses on the bridge of his nose. he peeks from behind the canvas.
“pose for me, love.”
seungmin watches you hesitate for a moment. it takes you awkwardly shifting–which is nothing but adorable to seungmin–until you’re satisfied enough with your pose. he waits until you’re fully ready, bringing his focus back to the canvas.
he takes his time, setting aside the thoughts of what he’ll repay you with later. for now he’ll just settle for mixing in the paint, not even needing to directly look at you to know, already having studied every single detail you possess. you watch seungmin’s focused face, him flashing a wink everytime you two lock eyes, causing you to smile at his antics.
as more time passes by, paint stains his fingers and smock. as more time passes by, your body starts to grow tired from standing in one position. as more time passes by, the sun starts to set, the rays seeping into opened blinds and hitting your skin just right.
“can you turn around for me? i wanna see more.”
you do an experimental turn, your backside facing seungmin and returning to your original pose, looking over your shoulder. he smiles and claps his hands together. the sunlight hits right at the curve of your shoulder and runs down your arm. you catch him as he’s staring dead on again, before shaking his head and going back to painting.
“are you almost done?” you ask, growing slightly impatient.
you could tell by the way he was looking at you every time he peeked from behind the easel something would follow up after your little session, his eyes wandering either way too low or too high. either way, it didn't bother you at all. your boyfriend’s attention was all you wanted.
he only nods his head silently at the fear of suddenly blurting his thoughts out too loud. seungmin strokes his paintbrush a few more times, setting it down along with his palette.
“i’m finished. c’mere and take a look.” you scurry your way over to him, taking a look at your boyfriends work. he watches your jaw drop, crossing his arms.
“you like it?”
“i love it. it’s stunning.”
he smiles, “you’re stunning.”
“i swear i knew you were going to say that.”
he laughs, pulling you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your torso, his fingers tracing over the outlines of the decorated corset. you take the time to observe his work closely, noticing how he captured every part that you had considered a flaw, but perfect to him regardless. seungmin pulls you closer, lightly kissing down your neck.
“you smell good y’know.” he breaks the silence, nuzzling his nose into your skin.
you turn your head, giving him an eye roll before placing your lips onto his, his colored fingers cups your cheek. you let him pull you closer to deepen the kiss, your own hand coming up to grip the back of his head and delicately pulling at his hair. it quickly grows heated, seungmin’s tongue welcoming itself into your mouth to which you happily allow him in.
it’s messy and it grows hot. it makes your grip in seungmin’s head tighten, the noise traveling from his mouth to yours.
“wait,” he pulls away, the bottom half of his face already flushed and his lips swollen. “let’s take this to the bedroom.” his lips curl into the smirk that you know all too well. to your surprise, seungmin hooks his arm under your legs and lifts you up, carrying you down the hall and into the bedroom, kicking the door closed.
the abandoned artwork sits at the easel in the middle of your shared living room, just a few inches away from where you were previously standing just a few seconds ago. maybe once you two finish with whatever you’re doing, you’ll retrieve it and add it to your personal collection for only you and seungmin to see and forbidden to anybody else. at the moment though, you two could care less if somebody could walk in and see it.
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