#literally having a moment like I’m contemplating buying the album so hard

[undyinglantern]

i don’t have any good puns to make but just know I was trying to come up w one bc todays thrusday and the album is called thursdays child

[emotionally-imbruised]

Santa Tell Me

“Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here next year.” ❆

A/N: Oh wow, she actually wrote something. Who is she? HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE.

Word Count: 7k

A cool breeze drifted across the room, causing goosebumps to rise on Y/N’s exposed skin as she instinctively cuddled up against the warm body lying next to her. She tried to fall back asleep, but unfortunately, her thoughts refused such a luxury as she began thinking of how this really was the last place she should be.

She didn’t mean to spend the night, but after a few glasses of wine and a deep conversation instead of paying attention to the Christmas movie that played in the background, she was a bit more welcoming to the way Harry’s hand rested on her thigh; rubbing soft circles with his thumb before eventually leaning in to catch her lips with his. And she let him! God, why did she let him?

Y/N’s relationship with Harry was complicated, to say the least. The two of them have been friends for quite some time, however, things became a little difficult roughly a year and a half ago when they began sleeping with each other.

It started off casual, there were no strings attached whatsoever. The two of them were just good friends and single. One fateful night when she and Harry had gone out, he ended up at her apartment, with minimal clothing, and the rest was history. Well, kind of.

She wasn’t expecting to sleep with him for a second time after that… or a third… and most definitely not a fourth; but the universe has a funny way of working sometimes and soon enough, hers and Harry’s little arrangement became a rather common occurrence.

It was great, for a while. Although the two of them were quite literally just fuck-buddies, neither of them tried to really change the situation because they were both content with it. There was no labeling of what their relationship had become. They were both exclusively sleeping with one another, their friends were somewhat aware of what was going on but tended to stay out of it, and it just worked.

But then Y/N caught feelings.

She hated how easy it was to fall for Harry back then with his stupid smile and magnetic personality, but it was just so hard to avoid.  Especially seeing how being intimate with him seemingly brought out the significant feelings she felt towards him, regardless of how hard she tried to keep them hidden. But the thing was, it was almost as if Harry had caught feelings as well.

He was the one to address what happened after the first time the two of them slept together, even going as far as to blatantly say that he wouldn’t mind if it happened again. It was also him that hinted at Y/N being the only person he was seeing. He was still the kind, funny, sweet Harry that she knew and loved dearly as a friend; but this brought a whole new meaning to their relationship and they weren’t aware of how complicated things were bound to get.

Last Christmas was when everything started to fall apart. Y/N fell so hard for him and based on his very affectionate actions towards her, even when they weren’t just shagging, gave her the impression that he might’ve felt the same way. But for whatever reason, they were both too chicken to admit that they wanted more.

She had finally mustered up the courage to tell Harry that she loved him; but on Christmas Eve when she planned on actually telling him this, she never got the chance to do so.

He stood her up, to put it simply. The two of them had plans to go to a Christmas market together and while they were out, Y/N decided that she was going to tell Harry how she felt. She was pretty sure he knew about her feelings too and that made it even more nerve-wracking. However, after she arrived and waited for him for over half an hour without a text to say where he was, she went home and didn’t hear from him again.

The following day, all Y/N received was the obligatory Merry Christmas texts friends send to one another. Harry didn’t explain why he didn’t show, didn’t give any indication that he wanted to see her again over the holiday season, and she was too hurt to ask why. So, she let it be.

Then he jetted off to Japan and soon was caught up in the whirlwind of what it meant to be a celebrity. Which was fine. As his friend, she still rooted for him in everything he did, despite how stupid she felt for falling for one of her best friends.

The year came and went fairly quickly, and it was a rather significant one for Harry. Having co-hosted the met gala and putting the final touches on and beginning promo for his second album, it was no wonder he was so busy all of the time. Y/N was busy too, having immersed herself into work while trying to pan out what her future entailed and where she would end up.

Throughout the year, both Y/N and Harry remained in touch, which they were both extremely thankful for because of how they were such good friends, to begin with. What happened last year at Christmas was never addressed, and was kind of just dropped. Almost as if it didn’t happen. But then one night when Harry was back in London a few months ago, all of that changed.

She hooked up with him… again… and it soon began somewhat of a regular occurrence all over again. But this time she was careful. Y/N didn’t want to get hurt like last year because those feelings she had never really gone away, so she was a bit more hesitant on how often the two of them would shag.

Instead, she focused on hanging out and catching up with her friend because she really missed him this year with how busy he was; and luckily for her, Harry was seemingly ok with that.

However, that didn’t mean there wasn’t the odd slip up where one of them ended up in the others bed every once in a while... Kind of like what happened last night.

Harry was still dead asleep beside her, and Y/N’s want to just dip and never speak of this again was very prominent. There were only a few days left until Christmas and she needed to go into work that afternoon to finish up some last-minute things before she was off for the holidays, but leaving the nice warmth of Harry’s bed was proving to be rather difficult.

After a moment of consideration, she decided that she should use this time to escape. It would mean avoiding Harry, but she was pretty ok with that because no, she didn’t want to talk about what happened and as of late, it seemed like Harry has.

Letting out a sigh, she untangled herself from the sleepy hold Harry had around her waist and got out of the bed. She bit down on her lip as she took in the clothes skewed around the room before making a dash for the en-suite. If she showered at Harry’s, all she would have to do is run home and change before going into work. It was bound to save her some time, so she decided on that and stealing some over Harry’s oversized clothing instead of putting the previous night's outfit back on.

When Y/N took a look at herself in the large mirror above the vanity, a disgusted noise left her mouth. She looked rough, and the want to shower grew even more.

She quickly moved to the small cabinet and grabbed one of the large fluffy towels that resides within it so that she could wrap it around herself before brushing her teeth.

Yes, she had her own toothbrush at Harry’s. He had one at her flat too. It was something the two of them started years ago and just never weaned itself out. Whenever one bought a new toothbrush, they’d buy the other one too and put it in its respective place for them to use the next time they were over.

As Y/N ran some warm water over the brush before putting some toothpaste on it, she didn’t notice the presence of another being sneaking up behind her until she looked back at the mirror and locked eye contact with them.

“Holy shit!” She jumped, almost dropping her toothbrush in the process. “What the hell, Harry?”

“G’morning to you too,” he responded, sleep still lacing his voice as he walked up to the vanity to stand next to her.

He didn’t say anything else, just reached for his toothbrush and began brushing his teeth as if nothing happened. The two stood next to each awkwardly, each glancing at the other every once in a while and Y/N hated it. It was as though there was this huge elephant in the room separating them even though there was really only a couple of inches between them. So, as she finished rinsing off her toothbrush and waited for Harry to do the same, she slowly began stepping away from the vanity.

“I uh, I’m just going to take a shower if that’s alright? Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

He nodded in understanding before glancing I’m towards the door and biting down on his lip as if contemplating what he was going to say next. “You know you don’t have to leave, right?”

“What? Er- I, well.” His response caught her completely off guard and she wasn’t too sure how to respond. After a brief moment, she was able to recollect herself. “No, I do. I uhm, I have to go into work to finish up a few things before we’re closed for the holidays. Just a quick shower and then I’ll be on my way.”

Harry knew what she was doing, knew that she was trying to not discuss what happened between them the night before and avoid him as much as possible as a way to do so. He thought of a way to approach it but settled on just messing with her a little bit instead.

“Ok, I need to shower too.”

Without another word, he walked over to the large glass shower and reached in to turn the water on.

It didn’t take long for the warmth of the running water to create a steam-filled room and once Harry was done gathering a towel for himself, he finally made eye contact with Y/N from where she was standing in front of the mirror gawking at him in the reflection. A small chuckle escaped his mouth before he started removing the track pants he wore, all while not looking away; as if silently taunting her.

“I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work,” she stated as she spun around to face him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, love,” he replied innocently as he wrapped the towel around his waist before ridding himself of his boxers and stepping towards her.

“You’re trying to get me to shower with you.”

“M’trying to save on my hydro bill this month actually, but that doesn’t sound too bad either.”

She couldn’t think of a way to respond as he finally reached her, and gently linked their hands together. Harry was well aware that if he were to lead, she would follow. It worked both ways with them, seeing as he knew damn well of the lengths he would go for her... but it wasn’t the time to discuss that yet. He just wanted to be with her for a little while longer, so when he started walking towards the shower with her in tow, he decided that he’d use his time very wisely.

Once their towels were removed and they were under the warm running water of the shower, very few words were spoken between the two. Y/N wasted no time in being the first to wet her hair and start washing it, eventually switching places with Harry so that he could do the same.

Both would have been lying if they said there wasn’t an intense amount of sexual tension as their bodies brushed against each other with each movement, which Y/N tried greatly to ignore. She needed to get clean and leave; already feeling stupid enough to fall for his antics and join him in the shower at all but also very much so not wanting to change anything about her current predicament.

As she finished rinsing the conditioner from her hair and went to step out from under the water, her back came in contact with a sturdy force that she knew could be nothing other than Harry. Immediately, she turned around to face him. With the way he looked down at her, eyes sleepy and seductive, she knew that him standing that close was intentional, but still couldn’t help the tiny yelp that left her mouth as he leaned down to crash his lips against hers.

Her back soon came in contact with the cool tile wall the shower head was mounted on. That in contrast with the warm water that still poured on her and Harry, along with the firm grip he had on her waist, was all rather exhilarating. It didn’t take long for her to melt into the kiss, opening her mouth to allow him further access and tangling her hands into his hair.

Y/N smiled when he moaned against her mouth as a result of her tugging slightly on his dampened curls, feeling proud of herself for being able to get him as worked up as he manages to get her. His hands then began roaming, spending some time massaging each of her breasts before leaving a tingling trail of sparks as he moved them down to where she was throbbing to feel him.

“Harry-,” she gasped before he could do anything else, causing him to freeze. He leaned against her slightly and she felt his length against her. Felt just how hard he was with anticipation and although part of her wanted to reach down and help with that, her mind screamed at her not to as thoughts of what occurred a year ago started flooding her mind again. “Fuck, what are we doing?”

“M’not sure I know what you mean,” he mumbled before leaning down to latch his mouth and that sweet spot in the crook of her neck he knew would have her seeing stars. His hand then reached down to where she was basically dripping for him and rubbed a harsh circle on her oh-so-sensitive bud with his middle and ring fingers. Her knees buckled as she gripped onto him even more, and he made no effort to hide the smug grin he wore as he moved back to get a better look at her. “Seems like you’re enjoying whatever it is we’re doing.”

“I- I am,” she stuttered as his fingers continued their work and another gasp left her mouth just as his lips met hers hungrily.

“Then what’s the problem?”

She moaned against his mouth and felt herself fading into his touch again, loving him and how he made her feel. Then her eyes widened in panic as she realized what she just internally admitted to herself and began pushing him away.

“No, no. We can’t keep doing this,” she stated as she created enough space between the two of them so that she could worm herself around him and exit the shower.

“Y/N, wait,” he followed after her, only to be met with a towel coming in contact with his face after she chucked it in his direction.

“No, Harry! Last night shouldn’t have happened and neither should have the times before… I can’t keep being with you like this, not after what happened last year. I refuse.” Her voice cracked slightly at the last part of her statement as she worked on wrapping herself up in a towel again before turning to face him; eyes widening as she took in his still naked form. “For fuck's sake, please put on the towel would you?”

He fumbled with the item while reaching into the shower and shutting off the water before finally wrapping it around his waist, and stepping towards her. “Ok, ok. I, fuck, I don’t even know where to start Y/N. Please just stay and we can talk about this. All of it. We can talk about us…”

“There is no us, H,” she replied and Harry was sure he saw tears threatening to form in her eyes as she looked at him. “You ruined that last year when you just up and left without an explanation.”

“If you’d let me explain, I would be more than happy to,” he argued; becoming frustrated with how stubborn she was being.

“No, I have to go. I need to borrow some clothes to wear to my place so I can put something on for work. I’ll get them back to you somehow.”

“But-,” he wanted to try and reason with her but there was no point because in the next moment, she was rushing out of the bathroom and Harry knew better than to go after her.

Walking into the office, Y/N tried to avoid eye contact with her co-workers. It’s not that she didn’t get along with any of them, but her hair was still damp from the shower she just had and she very much so looked like she was coming from a place she shouldn’t have been.

She was overly frustrated with herself for staying at Harry’s longer than planned because, on top of everything that just happened between the two of them, she now had the attention of everyone in the office as she shamefully made a beeline for her desk. As much as she hated the thought, she knew she’d get grilled sooner rather than later.

“You look rough,” stated Candace, a fellow journalist and by far the best friend Y/N had made since starting work in that particular office.

“I really don’t want to talk about it C,” Y/N replied as she took off her jacket and sat at the desk next to her friend. “I’ve had a shitty morning.”

“I can tell,” she responded with a chuckle before spinning around and grabbing a still warm Starbucks cup from the tray located next to her. “You weren’t responding to my texts so I figured something was going on. Thought you could use a little pick-me-up.”

Y/N let out a thankful sigh of relief as took the cup from Candace’s hand and took a big gulp. “God, you’re a lifesaver.”

“I do what I can,” she chuckled and shook her head. “Boss woman is letting us go home early today once we’re done our piece for next week's column, but I just really want to know where it is you’re coming from and why you’re so salty because of it.”

“What makes you think I’m coming from anywhere in particular and that I didn’t just sleep in?”

“Well you are pretty much drowning in that hoodie you’re wearing, so I know it’s not yours,” she stated, causing Y/N to look down at her outfit and take in her pair of ripped jeans and Harry’s sweater she stole on her way out of his flat. “Is it a boy’s? Oh, it definitely is. You gotta spill.”

“I, well, this is Harry’s.”

“Like Harry Styles… as in your famous best friend,” Candace asked for clarification, a frown forming on her mouth when Y/N nodded. “Well damn, I thought I was going to get some juicy details about a guy you were sleeping with.”

Y/N stayed silent and shifted awkwardly in her seat.

“Wait… YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH HIM AGAIN?”

“Would you calm down!?”

“No, I can’t,” Candace replied and leaned closer so no one else would hear her losing her mind. “How? When did this happen?”

“It’s been off and on for a few months now,” Y/N explained with a shrug. “I’ve been wanting to just stop altogether because of what happened last year, but I don’t know.”

“You still like being with him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. Pretty pathetic, right?”

“Not pathetic,” she stated. “Surprising, yes. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with him that wasn’t completely platonic after what happened last year.”

“I didn’t,” Y/N told her honestly. “But he sucked me right back in and I ended up falling harder than I did before.”

“Oh, to be in your shoes.”

“Shut up, I’m having an internal crisis over this whole thing.”

“I mean, you could always just tell him how you feel,” Candace told her with a wink. “Seems like a pretty easy solution to me.”

“Except it’s not.”

“Why is that?”

“Because what if he doesn’t feel the same and I just make a fool out of myself… again.”

Candace was about to respond to that but didn’t get the chance to when Y/N’s phone dinged with a new notification from her jacket pocket, causing them both to look in the direction the noise came from. “That’s him, isn’t it?”

“Even if it is, I’m not going to answer.”

“Quit being dramatic,” Candace scoffed and stood up from her chair. “I’m going to get some water and then we’re going to finish this article so we can get the hell out of here. Just respond to the man.”

Y/N knew she was being dramatic and although she was very hesitant in doing so, she reluctantly pulled her phone out to look at it.

Harry

Y/N, we‘re going to have to talk about this eventually.

Y/N

Doesn’t have to be any time soon.

Harry

I’d prefer if it was.

She stared at her phone for a second, debating on a response but didn’t bother writing anything as the typing bubble appeared on Harry’s side of the screen once again.

Harry

I owe you a trip to the Christmas market since we didn’t go together last year. Meet me there tomorrow night and we can talk?

Y/N

Are you actually going to show up this time?

Harry

Yes, I promise. Meet me there for say, 9pm?

Y/N

Ok.

Harry

Great. See you then. x

Y/N audibly sighed as she set her phone on her desk, but that soon turned into an internal groan when she heard a familiar voice call her name and looked up to see the literal last person she wanted to see walking towards her.

Connor was nice… enough. He was one of the I.T guys that helped around the office with any technical difficulties there may be, and also just so happened to be someone Y/N kind of, almost, hooked up with earlier in the year. It was a one-time thing. After continuously turning him down as a result of her relationship-ish type thing with Harry, he kept asking her out up until early spring when she finally agreed. They went for dinner, she had a mediocre time, then they made out before she denied his invitation to go back to his place and went home instead. The rest was history.

However, Connor didn’t see it that way.

She would continuously turn him down, but he kept coming on to her after that. Y/N was aware that she had not properly shut him down but just would come up with excuses as to why she was too busy and couldn’t go out with him instead, and hadn’t really got the chance to either. She didn’t want to tell him she wasn’t interested at work in front of everyone else, and she also didn’t want to tell him over text because both situations seemed pretty shitty. So, she kept on with the excuses.

“Uh, hey Connor!” She greeted with somewhat of a smile as he walked up to her desk and leaned against it.

“How’s it going?”

“Pretty good. Going to try to get my work done fast so I can get out of here ASAP. How about you? Any plans for the holidays?”

“Not really,” he explained. “I’ll go see my family on the 25th but that’s about it. Hey, listen, do you have any plans for tomorrow evening?”

And there it was. But at least this time, she didn’t need an excuse for turning him down.

“I do actually,” she told him. “I’m meeting a friend at the Christmas market.”

“I see,” he replied disappointedly.

Just tell him you’re not interested already, Y/N internally screamed at herself, but still couldn’t figure out a way to actually to just flat out tell him that; until she was struck with an idea.

“You know what,” she started. “Why don’t we meet up beforehand? There’s a little pub down the street from the market, we can meet there at around 8:30pm to grab a drink and… talk.”

“Yes!” He exclaimed, causing Y/N to jump as he pushed away from her desk and started walking away. “It’s a date, I’ll text you.”

“Wait no, it’s not a-,” she called after him, but there was no point as he rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. “...date.”

“Oh, now you’ve messed up,” Candace’s voice sounded from behind Y/N as she walked back to her desk.

“No, I’m going to meet him for a quick drink and then let him down easy. Simple as that.”

“You sound pretty confident for someone who hates confrontation,” Candace scoffed. “Need I remind you how you’ve been avoiding talking to Harry for this exact reason.”

“Ok, no need to call me out like that,” Y/N whined and leaned back against her chair dramatically. “It’s going to be fine… I hope.”

“You and me both cause I’m sick of hearing about your dating struggles when I can’t even get a text back.”

“You want them? Take them. I’m over these struggles more than you are.”

“Whatever,” she chuckled. “Let’s finish this article and get the hell out of here so you can go home and prepare for the shitshow of a night you’re going to have tomorrow.”

“Thanks for the optimism, C. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The pub was busy for a Tuesday evening, much to Y/N’s dismay. It really shouldn’t have surprised her though seeing as it was Christmas Eve.

Not everyone goes home for the holidays, hell she was a prime example of that with how she didn’t have plans to go see her family until Christmas was over. Also, some people just don’t enjoy the time of year… which was fair. But Y/N still couldn’t help but wish she didn’t have to aggressively use her elbows just so she to get to the bar and order a drink, all while hoping no one would take her table once she stood up to do so.

Connor was late showing up, and she extremely annoyed over it. She was about to leave when she glanced down at her phone to see it was almost 9pm, but then she got a message from him saying he’d be there shortly and decided to wait. Her phone battery was dangerously low, so she sent a quick text to Harry saying she’d be a few minutes late and apologized before the device died completely and she had to sit in boredom until Connor showed up.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed when U + Ur Hand by P!nk started blaring through the speakers of the pub, mindlessly tapping her fingers along to the intro beat of the song until a group of obnoxiously loud men bursted through the front door. There were four of them, and Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes as they began yelling over each other, but then she noticed that Connor was amongst them.

He locked eye contact with her almost instantly, and soon he and his friends were on their way to her table.

“There she is,” Connor greeted as they approached, immediately wrapping his arm around Y/N’s waist and pulling her closer to him.

“Uh, hey,” she replied awkwardly while lowkey pushing him away, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

He then looked to his friends, nodding towards one that was giving him a pointed glance before shrugging and climbing up onto the stool next to Y/N. He unwelcomely rested his hand on her thigh, and she was quick in moving away from him again; easily smelling the alcohol that wafted off him and his friends. “Guys, this is Y/N. She’s the one I told you about.”

“She’s hotter than you described,” one of the guys slurred, causing Y/N’s face to scrunch repulsively.

“Yeah, you sure you don’t want to share?” Another said, and Y/N never felt more disgusted in her life.

“Woah, unnecessary comments guys,” she spoke up, becoming rather fed up with how they were acting.

“Yeah guys,” Connor scoffed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “She’s mine, back off.”

“Connor, m’not-,” she started and turned to look at him as she said this, but was suddenly cut off by his lips crushing against hers. Her eyes widened in alert as she quickly pushed him away and stood up from her seat. “Ok, you know what, I’m gonna go. I wanted to talk to you about something but it looks like I’ll just have to tell you at work when you’re not drunk.”

“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” he replied conceitedly as Y/N started putting on her jacket. “Quit playing hard to get.”

“Hard to get?” She looked at him as if he grew a second head. “What the hell makes you think I’m playing hard to get?”

“Well, it’s pretty obvious, Y/N. Why else would you make up such bullshit excuses to not go out with me after we hooked up a few months ago.”

“First off, we didn’t hook up. We kissed. Second, did it not occur to you that maybe I’m not interested because you’re an arrogant asshole?”

Connor’s friends ooh’d and began mumbling to one another as he looked at her offendedly. “That’s not the only reason. You and I both know that.”

“Excuse me?”

“I heard you and Candace talking about how you’ve been sleeping with that famous friend of yours again,” he explained and Y/N immediately felt the need to defend herself. “Harry what’s-his-face. Thought that after he left you last year you’d get over the idea of thinking he’d want anything to do with you.”

He can’t be serious, she thought to herself as she tried to figure out what to say to that. She was absolutely furious and all his friends did was laugh, feeding her anger even more. As she racked her brain from something to reply with, the bridge of P!nk’s song began and Y/N glanced down at her still half-full glass of vodka cranberry, before picking it up and throwing the contents at Connor’s face.

“Fuck you. You don’t know anything about my relationships with others and are in no place to comment on them,” she stated firmly as she slung her bag over her shoulder. “At least Harry doesn’t treat me or anyone like they’re just part of a conquest in order to get a good shag. He’s a genuine being and is worthy of my time, it’s no wonder I’ve fallen for him as badly as I have. You, on the other hand, are the worst type of person and I really hate that it took me this long to realize it. Don’t bother speaking to me ever again, especially at work because I will cause a scene. Have a terrible night, you fucking jerks.”

And with that, she stormed out of the joint without looking back. Part of felt stupid for blowing up on Connor, but a bigger part kept thinking of how he deserved it.

Once she was out in the cool winter air, she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and started walking down the street towards the market. She was still livid, but just the thought of being near Harry put her mind at ease a little bit.

As she walked through the market's entrance she saw that no one was taking tickets and it was much emptier than she was expecting. Owners of the stands scattered all around the area that sold food and Christmas trinkets had packed up and all seemed to be heading home.

“What?” Y/N mumbled to herself before approaching a lady who was busy counting money from a till. “Hi, excuse me. Do you know what time it is by chance?”

“It’s after 9:30pm, dear. The market is closed.”

Shit.

“Oh, ok, thank you.”

It felt like Y/N’s heart plummeted into the pit of her stomach as she thoughts about Harry probably thinking she stood him up entered her mind. She grew even more frustrated over what went down with Connor and how it made her so late, as well as the fact that she couldn’t even call Harry and apologize for not showing up.

Because the thing was, she decided that she wanted to. She spent the 24 hours leading up to the moment, hyping herself up and was ready to talk things over with Harry. She planned on admitting her feelings and expressing how what happened on Christmas Eve the year before really hurt her. Regardless of the outcome, she was ready to put herself out there for him, and then she felt like she lost that chance.

She was hopeful for a few moments, thinking that maybe Harry was still wandering around somewhere. But the further she walked into the market, the less populated it became, and that hope soon faded.

The lights were pretty at least. Y/N really enjoyed looking at them as she continued on her stroll through the area. There was an entire wall that was covered in twinkling lights, that continued upwards and hung over the cobblestone path she was walking down. That along with the light snow that was falling from the sky made feel warm and fuzzy inside as she took it all in; smiling to herself as she stopped to look up at the flakes coming down before continuing on.

Lastly, she came to a stop at the base of the huge Christmas tree that was located in the centre of the market. It seemed different from how it looked the year before with its lovely blue decorations, but she just couldn’t figure out how it differed as she was observing.

A Michael Bublé Christmas song played from a loudspeaker nearby as she continued staring at the tree and thought about how she waited in that exact spot for Harry a year prior. She felt rather silly thinking about it now, but she shrugged it off and decided that she should probably stop gawking at the tree just head home.

“I don’t like the ornaments they used this year,” a voice suddenly spoke up from behind her. “Sure, the blue is nice. But I liked the red ones they used last year much more.”

Caught off guard by the person standing behind her now, Y/N was hesitant on turning around to face them. But once she did, it felt like the wind was knocked right out of her.  

“Harry?”

“Didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily, did yeh?” He asked with a large grin.

“Of course not,” she responded with just as big of a smile. “Listen, I’m so sorry for being late. I know you wanted to talk, and I did too but-.”

“Who said we still don’t have the chance to talk?” He questioned with a skeptical look. “I’ve got all the time in the world when it comes to you, darling.”

Y/N sighed, inwardly melting at his choice of words but also becoming completely overrun with nerves all of a sudden.

“I don’t even know where to start, H.”

“Then let me start,” he said and stepped towards her. “Leaving you last year was a huge mistake on my part. I knew how you felt and had come to terms with how I felt as well, but then when I got here and saw you standing under the tree like you are now, I chickened out.”

“Wait, what?” She asked surprised. “You were here?”

“I was,” he nodded and pointed to a corner of a nearby building. “When I got here, I was already so late. There were still a lot of people around and I didn’t even think I’d find you. But then I saw you standing pretty much right where you are now. You were completely mesmerized by the tree, just taking it all in like you do every year. I remember you saying beforehand how much you loved the ornaments they used because of how pretty they were. They’re different this year.”

“So that’s what seemed off about the tree this year,” she replied and glanced back at it. “That was uhm, very observant of you. But if you came all this way, why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

“Like I said, I got scared,” he answered and immediately captured her attention again. “Seeing you was when it hit me. It was when I realized just how much I love you.”

Her breath hitched at his words, and she could feel a blush forming on her cheeks that most definitely wasn’t just from the cold air, but she played it off quickly as she stepped towards him and smacked his arm. “Why didn’t you say anything!?”

“I didn’t know how! I panicked…”

“What did you panic about if you knew I felt the same?”

“I was worried about what I’d put you through,” he explained with a sigh. “M’not an easy person to be in a relationship with Y/N. I’m either coming or going all the time, and as much as I’d love to just stay in one place; it’s very hard to do that sometimes. You have your whole life here and I thought I’d interfere with that.”

“You’re stupid sometimes, you know that? I wouldn’t have cared about that, Harry.” She told him while shaking his head. “How would we know things would or wouldn’t work out if we didn’t try?”

“That’s exactly what I thought after I left. I immediately regretted leaving you there, but I thought it’d be easier that way. I know you despise confrontation as much as I do, and it just seemed easier at the time. Once I was gone, I was terrified that you’d want nothing to do with me and hated the thought of losing you over me being a coward, but I didn’t lose you. You were always still there even after I did something so shitty, and honestly, it made those feels I had grow more intense.”

“But you still didn’t say anything.”

“When we first started… you know... seeing each other again at the end of summer, I wanted to,” he stated. “But I still couldn’t figure out how. After me just leaving you last year, I didn’t think you’d want anything more than what we were doing. I was just glad to be with you and was willing to take whatever I could get, and those feelings all came crashing back. Then yesterday when you were over, I thought maybe I’d finally admit how I felt then; but you left and I thought I lost my chance.”

“So then you wanted to tell me today?” She asked softly. “And I basically stood you up.”

“No, I didn’t think that at all,” he told her while brushing away a snowflake that landed on her cheek. “When you texted me saying you were running late, I still waited around. But then it was getting chilly so I walked down the street to a little pub so I could warm up a bit. You were there.”

“Wait, so you saw…”

“And heard everything,” he nodded. “I don’t need to hear about that other guy cause thinking of how he treated you back there will piss me off. I was about to step in to be completely honest, but I should’ve known you could handle yourself.”

“Gee thanks,” she chuckled and shook her head. “But that also means you heard me say-.”

“That you’ve fallen for me? Yeah, I liked hearing that part. Made me less nervous about my want to do this.”

Without another word, he leaned down to place the most delicate kiss on her lips. There was no hungry lust behind it like there had been when they had kissed before, just pure admiration and affection; Y/N melted into it right away.

She pouted a little bit when he moved away, but then he pulled her into a tight embrace and instantly felt better. The two of them stood there for a moment, just basking in each other’s presence; her cuddling into his chest and him resting his head on top of hers as they swayed to the music that still played. It was a quiet song, the ending instrumentals of it played before the upbeat intro of the Jonas Brothers’ Like It’s Christmas started playing and Harry started chuckling.

“What’s so funny?” Y/N asked as she pulled away slightly to look up at him.

“Nothing,” he smirked and leaned down to give her another peck. “It’s just that you really do make every day feel like it’s Christmas.”

“You’re so sappy.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love it.”

“I guess I do,” she told him honestly as he linked his hand with hers and started leading her away from the tree. “Where are we going?”

“Home. Want to spend this Christmas with yeh.”

“I like the sound of that,” she replied while cuddling up against him as they began their trek home.

The two of them made it back to Harry’s flat and neither of them could stop smiling. They just loved the feeling of finally being together properly and although Y/N was set on not falling in love during Christmas again, this time around she wasn’t worried about him not being there the following year, or all the ones after that too.

[sarahbethimagines]

Chapter 10: Head on Collision 

Chapter Log!

Driving down the road it was hard to tell if the vibrations in my hands were coming from the memory I’d had earlier, or from the steering wheel. the moment kept replaying over and over in my head from the second it ended. And still as I drove through the center of my small dead-end town. It’d left me shaking, startled, and even more confused than I’d been before. Not once did any of the other memories, or even Alex in present time as much as hint that we’d ever been something more than friends. Once I’d cleaned up the mess and discarded the totally unsalvageable mug in the garbage, I’d somehow managed to pour a cup of coffee into a fresh mug and retreat back to my father. I asked him almost instantly upon entering his office if I’d been involved with anyone before - being careful to leave any and all names from my question. But he wasn’t much help. He just looked at me with this sort of pointed glaze to his stare. Like he had something to say but was still debating on whether on not to say it.

So of course, I prodded, wanting any possible information to help try and explain whatever the Hell it was I’d just envisioned. “What is it?” A hefty sigh fell from his mustache, “I’m not totally certain if it’s my place, seeing as you were never really one to want to sit down with me and talk about your feelings.” he chuckled softly and rubbed at his sparse grey brow. “But I always had a feeling you and Alex would end up together at some point or another.” All I could do was nod, the heat in my stomach from before swirled up to my cheeks and I'd hung my head in hopes to hide it from my father. Scratching my arm, “But we never did, right?” “No,” He laughed shaking his head and leaning back in his black office chair. “You were always too consumed in living life to bother with boys, at least that's what you’d always said to me.” “Yeah, that, that sounds about right.” I uttered to myself. Not even trying to conceal the sigh of relief that had escaped me, running a hand through my short hair. He'd asked me after if that was all I wanted to know, explaining he'd love to chat more once he'd gotten his last bit of work done. And I took that as cue to lift myself up from the couch, saying that was all. "Alright, well, let me know if you need anything." Was the last thing he said, before swiveling back around. I patted my way towards the door, feet sinking into the plush carpet as I walked. Unsatisfied with the answers I'd gotten from the whole ordeal. All I really needed and wanted to know was what that last memory actually meant. Both to me those years ago, and to me now in my memoryless state. Sometime later I couldn't take it anymore, the sitting around and contemplating a kiss I hardly remembered and had no context to understanding. It drove me insane. Before I knew it, I was back in my car, driving aimlessly around town in search for something, but with no real set destination. It didn't really make sense if I'd thought about it. Thinking in my car was no different than staring blankly at my hands on the couch. But I'd been actively choosing to ignore that and just kept on driving. Just praying I'd find somewhere to go before my gas tank ran low. A strangled sigh ripped through me as I pulled past an intersection. I felt my hands start to turn the wheel with no warning, my mind having a plan of its own. I pulled into a small four building plaza and parked my car. For it being the middle of the day, I saw very few vehicles aside from my own in the lot as I clambered out and looked around. I spotted a small convince store off in the far corner, a local bank, a pizza shop and right in front of where I'd parked my car was an old run-down record store. Trax on Wax it was labeled, on a faded back lit sign. And as I drew closer to it I could see a very small handful of people inside through the large glass windows. The sound of Duran Duran's, Girls on Film softly spilled from the propped open doorway that was guarded by nothing more than a string, beaded curtain. The neon open sign flashed by me in the window at the entry as I made my way into the dimly lit store. A small ding rang through the room from the sensor drilled into the floor. The soft music flowing through the speakers, the stale dusty scent in the air and rough wire carpet under my sneakers almost instantly took me back to the very first time I'd found myself in that music shop. It was October 5th, 2002. And I'd set out on foot bright and early that morning, the first day I didn't have school and was able to finally execute my long-anticipated plan. I was one of very few people inside Trax on Wax that morning, and I made bisque movements through the aisles, searching for the small section that would hold exactly what I'd come in looking for. 'Punk/Pop Rock' was scrawled in sharpie on a flimsy piece of paper peeking out between CD cases. But when my eyes fell on those few words, it could have been written upside down, backwards and six ways from Sunday for all I cared. Lively blue eyes quickly began running over the casings of every CD my sight could reach. Widening slightly every time I spotted one I'd silently been pining for. Only to shrink again once I'd remember the point of my mission. The rather redundant cycle repeated over and over again. My fourteen-year-old self slowly growing more and more irritated with every second that passed when I didn't find what I'd been searching for. Until I did. With precise caution, I pulled the slick case from its secure spot in the row, staring down in complete and utter amazement. It's beautifully pristine shell was still wrapped in crinkly plastic which gave it an even shinier appeal. Anyone watching on probably would have thought that at any second my eyes would pop out of my head and my tongue would unravel like some slobbery dog's. Just staring at it in awe, taking in its sharp black edges, and the vibrant shades of yellow, red and green in the album art. It was Good Charlotte's new album, The Young and the Hopeless. And it was perfect. I'd saved up for weeks to get this once it released, waiting in anticipation, mowing neighbor's lawns, walking their dogs, even scrounging through the couch cushions for change. Just to make sure I'd be able to buy it when that day came. I'd bounced my leg through every class that entire week just waiting for Saturday to roll around and I'd finally be able to walk there in day light to get it. And now I was finally holding it in all its glory. You would have thought I was seeing Disney World for the very first time as I didn’t skip a beat to shove my hand in my pocket and fetch the crinkled cash I'd collected. Only when I did, all that brushed the tips of my fingers were loose coins and a few gum wrappers. My stomach all but sank to the soles of my shoes, face growing red and breath growing shallow. "No, no, no, this is not happening." I muttered only to myself as I put the CD down and frantically shoved my hands in every pocket and crevice in my outfit. Front pockets, back pockets, hoodie pocket, even that small useless one on the front of jeans. But nothing came up. Bankrupt. I looked back at the CD again, slowly picking it up as panic filled my eyes. I needed that CD. There was not a chance in Hell I was leaving there without it. So, I thought quick on my feet, regardless of how morally wrong it would be. Or how long I knew my conscious would be tainted with guilt. My palms were sweating and my knees were shaking and I couldn’t stop my eyes from bouncing around the shop. But I slowly started to snake through the aisles, clutching the disk close to me. I rounded a corner, and when no one could see me I slid the CD into the pocket of my hoodie, sighing loudly and making a casual break for the door. I was a few feet from it, a guilty victory in sight. I was so close to being home free with my dream CD when something stopped me. Someone stopped me. And oh, how badly did I wish in that moment the angel on my shoulder suddenly sounded like a teenage boy. "You're not actually planning on stealing that, are you?" It called, and I quite literally looked to my shoulder. Cringing to my core when I didn’t see a small version of me dressed in white with wings staring back at me. Slowly, I turned around, knowing instantly my cover would be blown once the accuser saw my bright red cheeks and sweat dropped forehead. Never before in my entire life had I stolen anything, and I hadn't been planning too! I'd saved up enough money, I'd just forgotten it and made a stupid, stupid mistake. But it was too late for excuses like that. Down at the end of the aisle a tall boy with a scruffy face and broad shoulders stood with arms crossed. A thick black brow raised at me all too knowingly. And instantly my mouth fell open, indescribable and incoherent mumbles and stutters falling out of it as I tried to think of anything to say to get out of this. I was not good under pressure, and certainly not with angered eyes boring down on me. I started to round up words that might begin to form an apology, my hand reaching for the pouch of my hoodie when something else grabbed it. Well, someone else that is. "Of course, she's not!" A much different voice jumped in, a younger, lighter one. "I told her to pick out anything she wants, on me!" Now even I thought my eyes were going to burst from my skull as I snapped my head over to see a small girl about my age grinning widely back at the individual who'd just caught me. I stared at her for a moment, both shocked and confused trying to pull anything from her appearance to figure who she was or why she was saving my ass right then. She looked strikingly familiar for a reason I couldn't quite pin down. Her long brown hair that resembled mine in color cascaded down her shoulders to the crooks of her elbows in soft, slept in waves. Her tanned boney hand clutching my wrist showed off her chipped pink nail polish, I'd known I'd seen before. But still my mind was coming up blank. "You know her?" The boy asked, breaking me from my scattered thoughts with the very question I'd been asking myself. And I watched with blown eyes as she nodded ferociously. "I have friends you don't know about, Micah." She said, almost picking fun at the boy as I looked back over at him. His arms still crossed and a doubtful expression adorning his rough face. "How do you know her?" He groveled, shifting on his feet. "We have English together!" She said, and things slowly started to piece together how I shockingly really did know this girl. Even though I wouldn’t say being assigned to sit next to one another qualified us as friends. I certainly wasn't about to argue with the girl. "She's friends with Gaskarth's crew!" At this my eyebrows perked up, as did the boy who I assumed to go by Micah's when I turned my head back around to see him staring at me now. Slightly softer look in his charcoal eyes. "You know Alex?" I nodded at the sound of the familiar name. Because on the same standards as saying this girl is my friend because we had just one class together; Alex and I were suddenly elevated from acquaintances to the best of friends anyone has ever seen. And that seemed to be enough for the boy to drop his arms with a sigh of defeat, turning to the other girl once again. "Michelle, are you really paying for her?" He asked, scratching the side of his head. The girl nodded. Quickly she dropped my arm to fish a balled-up wad of ones and fives from her pocket, holding it up to the boy. Something that only made him sigh yet again. "Mom gave you that to last the rest of the week!" She smiled widely again, throwing her arm causally around my shoulders and tugging me into some form of a side hug. "Well, I want to spend it on my friend here!" She argued, "Her birthday is coming up!" Micah huffed a breath and shook his head, but still advanced towards us to snatch the money from the girl's hand. "Don’t tell mom I let you do this." He warned, letting his eyes linger across her face for a moment before they traveled to mine. "It was nice to meet you." He breathed before turning his back and walking towards the back of the shop. "Oh, dear God." I sighed loudly as I weaved my way out from under the girl's arm and turned to her with a gracious smile. "Thank you so much, you really saved my ass right there, I've never tried to do anything like that before, I swear it's so unlike-" "Oh, don’t sweat it!" She instantly cut me off, waving a hand as she smiled and bounced on her toes. "People try and swipe shit from here all the time, but it's not every day I make a friend out of it! I'm Michelle by the way, Michelle Juubie. I don’t know if I've ever actually introduced myself to you in class." "You hadn't," I smiled at her, shaking the hand she put out to me. "Murphy, Kennedy Murphy." "Very James Bond of you!" She smirked, grabbing my elbow and dragging me off into an aisle before she pulled me close. "Also, just for reference if you're going to steal anything again you'll have to do a much better job at it!" She whispered, and I was about to attempt to explain again how I'd never intended to steal it in the first place, but she never gave me the chance. "It's all about the eyes." She told me, "The key is to scan the merchandise with one hand, and without looking over, pocket something with the other." "Uh, thanks?" I chuckled. Watching as she pulled a small tape deck from her own hoodie pocket that I genuinely didn't see her swipe and slide it back into its spot. "Wow, that's impressive? Concerning? I don't really know how to take that!" She giggled, "I think I like you already, we're going to be great best friends!" I laughed at the petite brunette who'd gone back to aimlessly scanning the tape decks and smiled. "Then you should probably know now my birthday is in April." "Well good thing I already know what not to get you!" Blinking away the tears that had slowly begun to form in my eyes, I looked down and noticed the display of tape decks I'd somehow wandered my way over to. Smiling, almost laughing really at the thought of the girl I'd just remembered. I didn’t quite know her yet in this new state of mind, but I knew I would like her as greatly as I had back then. I just had a feeling. "Not trying to steal from us, again are we?" A voice suddenly called me from my thoughts, pulling my attention over my shoulder where I saw her. Sat up on the counter top just beyond a display rack. I watched her flop down from it onto the floor and make her way towards me. "You still owe me that fifteen dollars from the first time you tried." It was like a vision from a dream almost as she sauntered down the aisle with a smile. Dressed now in denim shorts and a faded tee. But to me it hardly looked like she'd aged even a day. Her dark eyes were still as large as they'd always been, smile just as big, and hair just as long and wavy as I'd pictured moments before. And just like that, it hit me. Like a car crash, a head on collision. It hit me that I knew the girl stepping up beside me, looking into my eyes with a knowing, pressing gaze behind them. I knew her, but not like I knew Jack, or Zack, or even Alex really. I didn't just know that I knew her in some stage of my life. I remembered her. I remembered everything about her, about us, about our friendship that had blossomed like flowers in the spring that first day I walked into this store. I remembered every English class after that, sitting with her, passing notes and making jokes which had us laughing so loud more often than not we'd be scolded. I remembered sitting up in this store for hours on end harassing her brother Micah as he tried to work. I remembered Micah, I remembered him constantly teasing me for the poor excuse for a thief I'd been. I remembered having to fake my birthday to him every October just to keep our little act up. I remembered long school lunches, and winter breaks making dirty versions of snowmen with her and the guys. I remembered road trips in the fall, and beach days in the summer. I remembered all the times we'd laughed so hard to mindless television we'd be crying clutching our sides. I even remembered breaking into the principal's office and changing the diploma order just so we could sit beside one another on graduation day. I remembered everything. Like a storm in the summer, the flood of events vanished almost as quickly as it'd came and I was left standing there, heavy in the head from everything I now had crammed inside it. Just stuck, staring back at this girl watching me intently as tears began to brim in my eyes. "JuJuBee?" I practically whispered, a single tear escaping me and sliding down my cheek. And I couldn't even begin to tell you how big her smile got in the split second between her going from standing there worried, to throwing her arms around me. Sobbing now herself, she clung to my frail frame so tight I really did believe she thought if she let go I'd slip away. "Oh, Tweedle Dee!" She sobbed, her pet name for me ringing true, just as ridiculous as it'd always been. "I missed you!" "I missed you too..." I murmured, crying happy tears now at the fact that I could finally say that to someone, and know exactly what it was I'd been missing.

[i-am-a-blue-dragon]

If I'm doing all the music asks, so are you. I CHALLENGE THEE.

It has been a calendar year since you sent me this.  SORRY.  You know I’ve been busy.  @groovyaviator also asked me Daft Punk, Fall Out Boy, and Led Zeppelin.  Let’s do this.

- Alabama Shakes: Favorite female lead? Aurora.

- Arctic Monkeys: Favorite male lead? Chris Martin.

- Ben Howard: An album that reminds you of your favorite season? Aurora’s All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend, because it reminds me of when of that moment in late October when you realize winter is on its way.  But I’m also a fan of our weather right now, so for that I would assign Coldplay’s Mylo Xyloto.  And I’ve also come to favor the weather around my birthday midsummer, and for that I’d assign The Golden Age by Woodkid.

- Bon Iver: An album you could listen to on repeat for years? Coldplay’s X&Y. Regina Spektor’s Far, as well as What We Saw from the Cheap Seats.  alt-J’s entire discography. The How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack by John Powell.  The soundtrack to Jane Eyre by Dario Marianelli.  The Golden Age by Woodkid.

- Bastille: A song that brings back bad memories? Already Over by Red.  Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood.  The Ballad of John Hurt by alt-J, but the memory is more bittersweet than bad.  Yes by Coldplay, tied closely with Two Birds by Regina Spektor.

- The Beatles: An artist you think is overrated? Ed Sheeran.

- Coldplay: A band you used to love but never listen to anymore? Coldplay, right now!  I still love them very much but I’ve been listening to a lot of other stuff.  Also, Linkin Park, Chevelle, Breaking Benjamin, Evanescence… I went through a phase.

- Daft Punk: Favorite instrumental (no vocals) song? The Heart Asks Pleasure First by Michael Nyman.  It also is my favorite song, but specifically the composer’s cut version.

- Dawes: A genre of music you absolutely cannot stand? I really have a hard time with country.  I’m sorry, Becca.

- Electric Light Orchestra: Favorite song to help you cheer up? I have a 75 song playlist of these, my dude.  Rasputin by Boney M. reminds me of a ridiculous time in high school and never fails to make me smile, but most of the time my go-to is Everything’s Not Lost by Coldplay.

- Elliot Smith: Favorite song to listen to when you’re sad? I tend not to listen to a lot of music when I’m sad… but maybe the cover of Where Is My Mind by Bandit.

- Evanesence: Ever done drugs and listened to music? Lol no.

- Fun.: Put your music on shuffle and list the first three. Whatever happens, I blame Spotify: 1) Dust by Hans Zimmer (Interstellar soundtrack), 2) The Kill Ring by John Powell (How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack), 3) Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood.  I only can recall listening to the middle one because I have a habit of saving albums to listen to later.

- Fall Out Boy: First album you fell in love with? Vocal: Linkin Park’s Meteora. Instrumental: John Williams’s soundtrack for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

- Green Day: A song that makes you feel rebellious? Boss Ass Bitch by PTAF!

- George Ezra: A song that reminds you of a past lover? I don’t really have any of those, but you can refer to the bad memory response because it’s basically the same list.

- Genesis: A band that your parents always played when you were little? The Rolling Stones, because if it’s parents plural my dad is the automatic DJ and he plays classic rock exclusively.

- Hozier: Favorite brand new artist? How new is new?  Brand new to me right now are Tom Odell and Glass Animals but both have been at it since 2012.

- Iron & Wine?: What song would you want to be played at your wedding?“ Sleeping At Last did a cover of The Proclaimer’s I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) that I absolutely fucking love.  But I would rather do an upbeat surprise choreographed dance number for my first dance because I don’t know how I feel about sharing an intimate moment with my new spouse in front of all those people.

- Imagine Dragons: What song would you want played at your funeral? At the beginning?  Talk by Coldplay.  At the end, The Heart Asks Pleasure First by Michael Nyman.

- Jack Johnson: A song you heard in a movie and fell in love with? Hans Zimmer’s song Time off of the Inception soundtrack.

- Joy Division: Your least favorite album by your favorite band? Ghost Stories by Coldplay because it’s sad and boring.  Probably also their newest album but I’ve refused to sit through all of it so I don’t know.

- The Killers: Name your top three songs of all time. So many repeating answers tonight! The Heart Asks Pleasure First by Michael Nyman; Talk by Coldplay; Aurora’s cover of Nature Boy.

- Linkin Park: Suggest a band you think I might like. @beccathevampyreslayer I think you’d really enjoy How to be a Human Being by Glass Animals because it’s equal parts dark and upbeat. @groovyaviator, listen to The Golden Age by Woodkid.  Becca can tell you that I’ve loved that album for years because the artist is also a director and intentionally writes his music to make listeners feel like the hero of a film.

- Led Zeppelin: Favorite album art? HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE.  The Golden Age by Woodkid.  Literally any art featured on an album or EP for Sleeping At Last.  The Resistance by Muse.  Any artwork featured in EPs or albums by Fleet Foxes.  Light & Gold by Eric Whitacre (if one is looking to buy a print for me I’d go with this one).  Parachutes by Coldplay.  The Lateness Of The Hour by Alex Clare.  Anything used by Foster The People.

- Muse: Craziest music video you’ve ever seen? Nothing will ever beat the Turn Down For What music video.

- Mumford & Sons: Favorite cover version of a song you love? Any iteration of Nature Boy by Nat King Cole but especially Aurora’s version.  The same can probably also be said for The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel, but nothing beats the original.

- The National: A song you sing in the shower? (I Won’t Say) I’m in Love from Hercules!

- Nathaniel Rateliff: A song that never fails to make you emotional? Laughing With by Regina Spektor has like a 50% chance of making me cry, as does Coming Back Around off the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack.

- One Direction: Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? I liked both!  I think when I was younger I favored NSYNC, but boy bands aren’t really my mode of choice for experiencing ‘90s nostalgia.

- Pink Floyd: You can go back in time to see any band you want. Who would it be? Coldplay when they were touring for X&Y.  Stravinsky’s Firebird Suite as its debut.

- Queen: You can meet any band member, living or dead, and hang out with them for 24 hours. Who would it be? Eric Whitacre, who I have met before but definitely didn’t hang out with.  He’s a hero of mine because he kind of walked into his hometown university, picked up music super late, and went on to redefine classical music.  He was driven by passion, and his lack of early training really shows in the innovation in his work - the man draws PICTURES of his music before even trying to write down notes.  And he collaborates with all manner of interesting people, pulling source material from really unconventional places.  I’ve been contemplating a major change in life paths for the last year or so and it’s always very heartening to see someone do the same, and especially by sheer force of will.

- Radiohead: Favorite concert you’ve ever been to (or a band you want to see live). I saw Aurora live in November and she changed my life.  Marina and the Diamonds was incredible and so was her opening act, Christine and the Queens, who I also love.  Regina Spektor was so good live too.  And seeing Ke$ha last fall was just a lot of fun.  I regret not going to see Coldplay a lot sooner because I’d love to see them in general but I don’t like most of their newest music and I’d really rather hear stuff from Mylo Xyloto and earlier.

- Rihanna: A musician you respect, even if you might not like their music? I don’t really listen to Demi Lovato but I have mad respect for everything she advocates for.

- Roo Panes: Favorite acoustic version of a song? Aurora’s acoustic version of Murder Song (5, 4, 3, 2, 1).  It’s haunting.

- Simon & Garfunkel: Favorite album movie? (Ex. Yellow Submarine, The Wall, Help!, The Graduate) Kill me later but I don’t think I have ever seen one in its entirety.  I think I watched Help! with Becca, though.

- Skrillex: What’s the strangest song you have on your iPod right now? Rasputin by Boney M. and Chaccaron Maccaron by El Mundo.

- Tame Impala: A band none of your friends listen to? Aurora, Christine and the Queens, Tom Odell.  Becca introduced me to the last one but she doesn’t listen to his discography actively.

- Taylor Swift: Name that one artist that literally makes you so angry you’re willing to throw the damn radio right out the window to make it stop. I’ll never be over the travesty of Robin Thicke.  One of my favorite members of being a community advisor was our end of the year celebratory dinner, when the DJ started this song and the whole room stopped dancing and stared and him and I called over, “Please just change the song.”  Rape culture is bad, kids.

- U2: A song or album that somehow got onto your iPod but you have no idea where it came from??? Weird. Probably some random movie soundtrack.

- The Vaccines: What are your favorite lyrics? Quote them for me. Do they mean something special to you? “Are you lost or incomplete? Do you feel like a puzzle, you can’t your missing piece?” “Are you what you want to be?” “Is this the life you’ve been waiting for?” “Good is better than perfect, scrub ‘til your fingers are bleeding.  And I’m crying for things that I tell others to do without crying.” “I want to love you but I don’t know how.” “Are you getting stronger or is time shifting weight?” “Potentially lovely, perpetually human, suspended and open…” “You can’t pin me down!”  You might sense a theme here.  I think I do.

- Vampire Weekend: A band or artist you follow on Twitter? No Twitter for me, but if I did it’d be Eric Whitacre because his fans send him good music memes and he shares the best of them.

- Vance Joy: An artist where you can never tell what the hell they’re singing? Chevelle and George Ezra.

- Weezer: Favorite old school band? Simon & Garfunkel.

- The xx: A genre/band you’ve been getting into that you never thought you would enjoy? Synthpop.

[ahmeddawn]

A Moment for “The Dark Knight”: EPIC film that goes beyond comics

I would like to introduce my first guest author - Shayan Mannan.  The following article is written by Shayan - who is an ADJ reader and also my nephew. At 21, he is a musician, an entrepreneur, a soon to be professional blogger, and a Law & Society student at York University. He just released his first album, the "No Cure" EP which is available on iTunes. Check out his music at his MySpace Page I'm personally into new age music, and after listening to his album (which is electronica) my first comment was "This sounds just like a professional musician. I couldn't have guessed that this wasn't made by well-known artists such as Vangelis or Enigma."

A Moment For "The Dark Knight": EPIC Film That Goes Beyond Comics

The lines were packed to the back of the theater, and Batman shirts and joker-painted faces were out full-fledged. What an AMAZING, EPIC movie.

"So where do I begin...now a year ago these cops and lawyers...” The Dark Knight delivers on all fronts, but let’s get something straight - this isn't your typical summer blockbuster - sure, there's action, but this movie is really a character piece and it explores themes of order and anarchy. It raises questions about morals, society's duplicity, when to cross the line, what is good/evil and looks at philosophical musings.

This is the best Batman film EVER. That title easily belonged to Batman Begins, and how the hell Christopher Nolan was able to continue and make even a better one is a mystery all by itself. This movie is 10 times better; it makes Begins look like, as a friend said to me, "Some bonus feature on a DVD that would be there 'just for flavour.'" Remember, sequels almost always SUCK, so what was done here is nothing to be overlooked.

Christopher Nolan:

This film is dark to the core. Thank you Christopher Nolan. Not only has he revived Batman, he's taken it to levels I don't think any filmmaker who tackles future Batman movies can reach. It makes all the other comic-book movies look like child’s play. Nolan balanced out the screen time decadently and gave both the villains their due diligence (unlike Spidey 3, let's try to forget that one). One of the things that really make it special is the REALISM that Nolan's injected into a fictional character and his world that's made everything believable. I think Nolan and Ledger both deserve Oscars. It's really too bad films like these don't get considered for nominations because "comic-book" movies are looked at as derogatory and something you can't take seriously - which is true for most films, but not this.

I don't know how you go out and make a better Batman film. Seriously. And just like Begins, this was packed with great quotes that you'll remember.

Christian Bale:

Once again perfect, portraying Bruce Wayne/Batman's struggle as a warrior whose city crumbles to the ground after being so close to restoring order thanks to the arrival of the Joker. I agree with my friend that Bale's best times were when he's picking away at his gadgets in the basement or contemplating alone about his horrifying and depressing situation. I'm glad they included a bit more of the playboy Bruce Wayne scenes, and they were hilarious; showing up late on purpose to the party with not one or two but THREE women in his arms, making fun of Dent, and just being an arrogant jackass. I also loved that scene where he sacrificed his Lamborghini to save that dude and then was pretending he has no idea what's going on.

Heath Ledger:

You've heard about how sensational he was, and you really have to SEE it to grasp just how scarily good he was as the Joker. The smallest details, like how he puts down the champagne glass softly instead of throwing it, the slight slouch he walks with instead of standing straight, how he licks his face, his movements in general and his facial expressions add to his creepiness factor. His voice is haunting, and anytime you see him on camera it feels uneasy. The best part is though, is that he's believable because he's human: because if you didn't believe he was human he wouldn't be nearly as scary. Ledger really disappeared into this role, you can't even recognize him. And one of the people in the group I went to see it with really didn't; she had no idea it was Heath Ledger. It's tragic the man passed away, and we'll never see him reprise his role again. Oh yeah, Heath Ledger's Joker slaughters every other Joker before him, including Jack Nicholson's...he makes Jack Nicholson look like...well...a clown.

The joker as a villain - what makes him unique is that he does all the crimes, just for the FUN OF IT: "I don't have a plan. I'm just a...dog chasing a car. I-I wouldn't know what I'd do if I ever caught it!" He doesn't give a damn about money, women, sex or drugs. He just wants chaos, and that's what makes him so scary, because he fits into the type of guys that Alfred explains: "…Aren’t looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." This joker is sadistic, psychotic and just simply psychologically disturbing. And he's so smart and can read people well; he understands how people think which is quite ironic since he's a crazy sociopath.

Maggie Gyllenhaal:

I originally didn't know what to think, but was just happy that they replaced Katie Holmes (she was so awful). Alas, Gyllenhaal was SOLID and has the personality that was originally needed which Katie Holmes could just not fill.

Morgan Freeman:

never gets old. Plays the same guy in every movie? Yes. Does he ever get boring though? Love the playful conversations he has with Bale.

Michael Caine:

plays that father-figure perfectly and provides that dead-pan humor needed amid a serious scene with Bale. He's got some of the best lines when he gives his advice.

Gary Oldman:

I'll let my friend sum this up - "The man's a chameleon. He really just brings the a-game to every role he does, and it really is hard to believe he played Sid Vicious, Count Dracula, and a drug dealer all with the same dedication." Also, remember Hannibal? You know the rich old guy in a wheelchair who had the deformed face because Hannibal peeled it off and therefore he wants to exact revenge on Hannibal? That's Gary Oldman.

Aaron Eckhart:

another brilliant casting. Let's face it, when we originally heard that Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart were chosen to play Joker and Two Face, we didn't know what to think. That scene when he's on the hospital bed and commands Gordon to say the nickname that they used to call him started the whole transformation into Two-Face nicely. "SAY ITT!!!!" And his face was nasty, scary, and REAL as hell. Easily throws Tommy Lee Jones off the bench (but that’s not really his fault, Batman Forever was just an atrocious movie in all angles).

Random thoughts:

If I had to pick one SPECIFIC action scene as my favourite, it was when the Batpod goes by Joker's trailer truck and....FLIPS OVER that thing like it's nobody's business, and then the Batpod turns back around off the wall in a slick Transformers way. And I never would've guessed that the Batpod is literally a part of the Batmobile; when it shot out and ejected, that was ABSURD!

That blue flame in the beginning - MESMERIZING.

It was nice to see Cillian Murphy/Scarecrow in the beginning, and although it wouldn't be necessary at all, I would've enjoyed seeing Carmine Falcone as well just because I liked Tom Wilkinson so much in the first one.

The scene showing Batman's bruises on his back was awesome and important - because it reminds you he's only human, not one of those typical heroes who fight a 100 men and don't even get a scratch.

Batman Begins' main colour for all the posters, promo, etc. was beige/light-brownish/yellowish, Dark Knight's was blue.

Thank GOODNESS Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard was back to do the score - neither of these movies would be the same without them. The music was masterful and I'm going to buy the album like I buy a lot of Hans Zimmer albums.

The ending again was left open, and it was dark. My friend summed it up perfectly: "even as the credits are about to roll, you really have to sit back for a minute and think "wait a minute, the good guys didn't win at all". And they didn't. The only one that really comes out ahead here is Joker, accomplishing his mission to show the city just how low it can really go."

For a two and half hour movie, it wasn't long enough - you heard right. It goes by so fast and you're left wanting more. The length is justified with all the complexities involved and giving all the characters a deserving screen time. There isn't a single bad moment; it's hard to criticize anything.

Make sure you see this in IMAX - this movie was specifically MADE for IMAX - they shot several important, long scenes in IMAX and it's something to experience, like those shots of Batman gliding through the sky (and of course the incredible action scenes itself).

Movie of the year. I'm not just saying that because I'm a Batman fanatic; you can't tell me there's been a better film so far, nothing comes close. Granted there's still half a year left, so we'll just have to wait to see. This wasn't just the best Batman movie, it's one of the best movies ever made period.

Don't forget Jonathan Nolan, Chris Nolan's brother who actually wrote the story with him. This is obviously a key reason why this movie rocked.

Sequel:

I want to see The Riddler. I think he'd be sly and DANGEROUS, especially the way Nolan does films. Just think of all the puzzles and mazes he could put Batman through.

I'm going to go see The Dark Knight again. And again.

- Shayan Mannan

First Published: ADawnJournal.com Published on: Jul 29, 2008