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milliedazzledust · 4 years ago

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Viens, Embrasse moi (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Request by @husherstan: One Shot with Bucky Barnes in which he and the reader are spies. Idk if you watched The Man From Uncle - American and Russian spies together to get an intel. They hate each other and have all that sexual tension. Based on the song ,,Les Yeux Noirs" by Pomplamoose (I have no idea what the lyric says) where they dance to prove who is the best.

Words: 4.689 words

A/N: I spent the last couple of days listening to tango, Pomplamoose and the ost of tfatws, I guess I was inspired coz this is super long so be aware. Thank you for that request - I’m really self-conscious about my writing so I’ll hope you’ll it! (ps: the title mean “come and kiss me”)

The mission was simple. Get inside the mansion during a fancy party by some rich man, retrieve valuable informations about Hydra’s whereabouts and get the hell out of there. Steve had decided to pair Bucky and Y/N for this. Two spies with specific skillsets that he knew would get the job done. This is why they had landed in Paris earlier that day.

They had taken a hotel room inside the infamous Le Meurice, courtesy of Tony Stark. He thought it was hilarious to provoke them since he knew they didn’t particularly like each other. That was what everybody thought, except Natasha. She had told Y/N she could see right through their games. The frustration and the tension together were a ticking time bomb that would either lead to one of them dead or both of them in a bed.

They hadn’t talked to each other the whole flight, they were too busy studying the blueprints of the mansion they would infiltrate, rehearsing their role and getting into character to care about annoying one another. Bucky had ditched the uniform for a white shirt and a black tie. His suit jacket slung over a chair next to the luxurious bathroom where Y/N was getting ready.

“What is taking you so long ?” Bucky complained as he sat on the bed, putting on his cuffs.

He heard the bathroom door opening behind him.

“Gotta look the part if we want to blend in” The woman smirked.

The moment he saw her, he froze. If there was an undeniable truth he would never lie about, it was her haunting beauty. She was breathtaking. She had chosen to wear a provocative dress that night, a dark shade of green falling of her shoulders, putting the tattoo on her back on full display. It was made of silk, so soft Bucky swore he could feel his fingertips aching to run through the material. The high-length skirt sat perfectly on her curves and the Sergeant gulped when his eyes trailed down her leg. The dress was slit to the middle of her thigh. He could almost see the knife strapped around her muscles, hidden just under the satin gown. His gaze finally stopped on her high heels, admiring the whole outfit. She looked feminine yet deadly and had a confident glow, a radiance he could feel across the room. She was captivating.

She sniggered, pleased by his reaction. Like a wolf hunting his prey, she walked up to him without hurry. He was still sitting on the bed, his eyes glued to her body, following her every move. His mouth was dry, no word were enough to describe how mesmerizing he thought she looked. Without breaking their gaze, she started to undo his tie. Making it roll agonizingly slow around his neck, she tossed it on the bed. Bucky felt his heart skip a beat when she opened up the first two buttons of his shirt.

“That’s better” She whispered, adjusting his collar. He shivered when her fingers grazed his skin and tried to hide it with a cough, but she could see right through him.

“You look …”

“What ?” She coyly cut him, a hint of defiance in her voice. “Sexy ? Ravishing ? Yeah, I know”

She had a glint in her eyes he couldn’t miss. She was enjoying his bewilderment.

“Pick up your jaw off the floor, Barnes. We’ve got work to do”

And with one last cheeky smile, she was on her way out. He shook his head vigorously, swearing under his breath, before grabbing his jacket and following her to their rental car.

Nestled in the woodland, away from the noises of the city, was the mansion. It wall all concrete and tall glass windows. The architecture made it seem a few centuries old and Y/N stopped for a short moment to admire the gigantic house surrounded by trees.

“And here I thought nothing could impress you” Bucky joked as he noticed her interest.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, letting him lead her to the entrance. Before they could step inside the venue, a man in a grey suit stopped Bucky, putting a hand on his chest to prevent him from coming in. The Sergeant tensed, hoping he hadn’t been recognized. He had told Steve earlier that day that it might be a mistake to send him inside a place filled by Hydra agents. Even with the fresh haircut, somebody that knew the Winter Soldier could have easily recognized him.

“Votre invitation, Monsieur “ (your invite sir)

Bucky didn’t move an inch. He coldly starred back at the man, not understanding a single word of french.

“Il est avec moi” (he’s with me) Y/N quickly answered.

As soon as the man turned to look at her, his whole demeanor changed. With a smirk on his face, he eyes the woman up and down. By the way he licked his lips and he puffed his chest, she could easily guess he liked what he saw. She faintly heard Bucky grunt but ignored it. Seductively, she put a hand on the stranger’s shoulder and brought her face near to his.

“Pour être tout à fait honnête, il n’est pas de très bonne compagnie” (if i’m honest, he’s not very good company) She told him without a trace of an accent.

The man snickered.

“Puis-je demander le nom d’une si belle créature ?” (can I ask the name of such a beautiful creature?)

She smiled, pretending to be pleased to talk to him.

“Eléonore Charbonnier” She introduced herself with a name that wasn’t her own, faking shyness.

“Bienvenue, Madame Charbonnier. C’est un plaisir de vous avoir parmi nous ce soir” (Welcome, Miss Charbonnier. It’s a pleasure to have you tonight) He replied, bringing her hand to his lips before kissing it lightly.

She was playing with her hair, drawing his attention and Bucky didn’t like one bit to just stand there, silent, without a clue of what they were talking about.

“Tout le plaisir est pour moi” (The pleasure is all mine) She attractively responded with a lopsided grin.

She exchanged one last look with the french man and took a step inside. Bucky followed her closely, but not without one last threatening stare toward the stranger.

“That went smoothly” She congratulated herself.

“What ? You flirting with him or him eye-fucking you ?”

She laughed at his irritation.

“Such a potty mouth you have, Sergeant” She joked.

He responded with an unpleasing grunt before offering her his arm as they stepped into what seemed to be a ballroom. The place was enormous with a checkered floor contrasting with the golden walls. Crystal chandeliers spiraled down from the ceiling, illuminating the room while marble pillars surrounded it, carrying a large upstairs balcony. The place was already filled with wealthy people, all potentials investors for Hydra. Bucky glanced around the room, trying to spot the organization’s agents hiding among the guests.

“How are we going to get to the second floor ?” Y/N asked him discreetly.

“We mingle”

She raised an eyebrow.

“That’s your plan ?”

They were aware of the noises and the crowd but even more so of the curious stares in their direction.

“Alright” She shrugged. “Let’s dance”

“No” He quickly replied, which made her smile.

She turned to look at him and playfully tilted her head.

“No as in you can’t dance … or you don’t want to ?” She elatedly riposted.

“Both” He grunted, quickly glancing at anything but her.

He groaned when he saw how amused she was by the situation.

“My, my … and here I thought there was nothing Bucky Barnes couldn’t do”

He took a tentative step toward her, placing his metal hand on the small of her back. They were now inches apart and the attraction between them became a tangible thread in the air before any of them could speak a word.

“Now is not the time to play, doll” He muttered. She didn’t know if it was his tone, his proximity or his hand moving slightly lower, but she felt the premises of desire starting to form in the pit of her stomach.

“Steve should’ve paired me with Sam. At least he’s fun” She provocatively replied.

Her answer had an immediate response. He instantly stepped back, removing his hand from her body. She watched him closely, pleased when he pursed his lips with exasperation.

“You owe me a dance” She added and winked at him.

He gave her a dirty look and she chuckled before looking around the room, trying to think of something to get upstairs without being noticed.

“There’s literally one guard blocking the access” She stated seriously.

“Think you can distract him ?” Bucky asked.

“Consider it done.”

With one last glance, she moved to one of the waiter, grabbing a glass of champagne. Leaving Bucky behind, she took a sip of her beverage, seductively playing with her hair, swaying her hips until she was almost in front of her target. She knew he was already looking at her, she could feel his eyes on her body. Pretending to lose her balance right when he was next to her, she let him catch her in his arms.

“Oh my god ! I’m so sorry !” She apologized.

“Are you alright, Madame ?” He asked her with a thick accent.

“Yes, just a bit dizzy” She answered with an alluring chuckle.

She noticed his hands on her hips, she knew he didn’t let them there to keep her steady. When she looked up at him, she purposely bit her lips and placed a strategic hand on his arm. She saw the man gulp and smiled. It was working.

“You look …” He didn’t finish his sentence but instead put one of his hand way lower than it should have been. If it was anybody else, she would have break every fingers of that hand, but right now, it was exactly the reaction she was hoping for.

She glanced back at Bucky, who was fuming. The guard caught that and tried to turn his head to see what was distracting her, but before he could do that, she kissed him. Slowly, without an ounce of passion and with force she pressed her body against his. Her eyes stayed open, and she watched Bucky taking advantage of the situation by sneaking behind the french man and quickly getting upstairs. Once she was sure he was out of sight, she took a step back. She cleared her throat, smoothing her dress.

“I should go freshen up” She shyly told him, fluttering her lashes.

“There’s a bathroom upstairs” He offered.

She smirked. She knew her plan would work.

“Merci” (thank you) She told him with a fake accent.

She climbed the stairs, pretending to look for something, while the guard resume his position. Bucky was already waiting for her in the hallway, standing against a wall where no one could spot them.

“Did you have to kiss him ?” He inquired, infuriated, as she joined him.

“If I remember correctly, you told me to distract him”

“With your lips ?” He ironically continued.

She chuckled, her fingers fiddling with his jacket. She slowly leaned toward him, her red lips tentatively grazing his cheek.

“Careful, Barnes, one might think you’re jealous” She whispered against his ear.

He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t get jealous, doll”

She smirked, lowering her eyes on his lips.

“You keep telling yourself that”

“I’m just saying …” He kept talking as they walked to their destination. “Stop flirting with every man we come across”

“Is that an order, Sergeant ?” She knew she was on thin ice and she loved every minute of it.

He groaned. He was exasperated and she could see how much it drove him crazy. It had been that way for months now, they were always bickering, ready to bite each others head off.

Walking strategically through the corridor, they knew exactly where they were going. They had studied the place. Behind one of the doors was Hydra secret files on the super soldier serum and their experiment to create more Winter Soldier. The mission was to retrieve those informations to thwart their plan.

They had no trouble finding what they were looking for. From outside, what seemed to be an abandoned storage room was in fact a huge chamber with computer equipments and piles of files. For a second, Y/N thought it was unusual there was no one to guard the place before she silently followed Bucky inside. While he was looking through the papers, she took the flash drive she had hidden in her cleavage and plugged it into a computer. It was a malware designed by Stark to discreetly sneak inside their files, break every firewall and find their secret without leaving a trace.

“Anything interesting ?” She interrogated Bucky while Stark’s program was doing its magic.

He looked up from what he was reading and she visibly saw him gulp and shut the file he had in his hands.

“Nothing that I didn’t know of already”

She eyed him suspiciously.

“Why don’t I believe you ?” She accused him, backing up against a desk.

“Because you're a spy” He answered truthfully. “You don’t trust anyone but yourself”

She hummed.

“And that’s exactly why I know you’re hiding something” She continued, crossing her arms at his reluctancy.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. She could see his jaw tightening and his fists clenching. For some reason, he was getting angry at her. She tilted her head, curious at his reaction. Without a word, she raised an arm, opening her hand. It was a silent request to give her the file he was reading, which he eventually did.

She started to read and realized it wasn’t about the Winter Soldier initiative but about the Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and what had happened to him in details after he fell off a train in 1945. She didn’t go through the end of the first page and shut it before handling back to the man in front of her.

“You’re not reading it ?” He questioned.

“No. If you want to talk about it, you will.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t need to know the details of a procedure you’d rather forget”

He raised an eyebrow, surprised by her actions. He was expecting her to be more curious and try to prey informations out of him, but instead she just stood there and gave him an honest smile.

“Don’t look so flabbergasted, Barnes. I might be a spy but I’m not cruel”

“It’s just … I wasn’t expecting that”

“Expecting what ?” She asked, turning back to the computer.

“…To be given the choice not to talk about it”

She was shook by the force of his sincerity for a moment, but didn’t comment. It was rare for Bucky to share anything this personal with her. They had work quite a lot together, but it was always teasing and bickering. This was different. She could just guess it by the way he was looking back at her. He cared about her and valued her opinions and judging by his gaze, she had just given him a reason to trust her a little more. He suddenly cleared his throat, somehow embarrassed, and she grinned.

“All done” She declared, showing him the flash drive.

“Good. Let’s get out of here”

Just as he said it, an alarm started to ring inside the room. Both of them tensed, suddenly anxious.

“What is that ?” He groaned.

“They know we’re here”

“Shit”

She hid the flash drive in her cleavage before slowly backing against the wall next to their exit.

“So much for being invisible” She muttered under her breath.

Bucky half opened the door, picking outside to see what they would be up against. Armed men were already scattering the hallway, ready to launch the assault. He quickly closed it back, his expression now a mix between worry and annoyance.

“They’re at least six of them waiting for us” He informed her.

She secretly hoped they would avoid a situation like that but seeing as they had no other choice, she mentally prepared herself to give them hell. Bucky watched her with wide eyes when he saw her tearing her dress in half, making room to move freely.

“What the hell are you doing ?!”

“Mingling” She simply answered, repeating what he had told her earlier, before taking the knife attached to her thigh.

Bucky grabbed the handle and glanced back at Y/N one last time before the fight. They shared a knowing look, both of them reassuring the other with a silent nod. As soon as he opened the door, the gunshot started. The music and the people downstairs were a slight contrast to what was happening, the noises were loud enough to cover the sound of bullets shot across the room.

It wasn’t unfamiliar territory for Y/N or Bucky, they were used to fighting. Doing it together was different though. They had discovered they were a pretty good match on a battlefield. It almost felt like a quick pace tango, a choreography only they knew about. Bucky watched her smirk, and she saw him wink. They were about to give them a taste of their talent.

She let the Sergeant go first, knowing his brute force and especially his vibranium arm would most likely knock some of them out. One of them dodged her partner and went right to her. She blocked every of his punches and flipped the knife she had in her hand, stabbing the man in the gut. She rolled upside down, making him fall on the floor, unconscious. Another one tried to take advantage of the situation and decided to kick her. She twirled around, blocking him before hitting his chest with her heel, knocking him out of breath. From the corner of her eyes, she saw two of them going after Bucky. The agents would have had the time to attack, but all it took was a look between the Avengers and Y/N threw her blade at the Sergeant. He grabbed it mid-air and less than thirty seconds later, the men were on the ground, bleeding to death.

She started to make a movement toward her next target when she felt an arm wrapping around her waist. It all happened too fast. All she felt was the bullet touching her shoulder before her body was pushed against a wall and the men were out cold. Normally, she would have resisted but instinctively, she recognized the musky scent of Bucky’s colognes and the cold sensation of his metal hand against her hip. She realized he had shoved her out of the way when one of their opponents had fired, aiming directly at her.

“Are you alright ?” He whispered, making her shudder.

He was so close she could feel his heart beating. He was towering her, shielding her body with his own. The situation was quite ludicrous. They were surrounded by men they had just taken down but none of them seemed to care. She opened her mouth to demand that he release her, but the words never formed. His chest flushed against hers, he was slowly invading her senses. They were both exhausted by the effort, and his staggered breath was enough to send a fire coursing through her body. She risked a peek at his face and swallowed when she saw his blue eyes darkening with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.

“Don’t look at me like that” He spoke with such intensity she shivered.

She licked her dry lips before speaking.

“Like what ?” She teased.

Bending his head, he buried his nose in her neck. She struggled at the proximity, purely a reflex. He answered by pulling her even closer. He looked up at her again, his mouth hovering a few inches from hers. Every nerve ending inside her was screaming for his touch but she didn’t move, simply stared at him. She wasn’t going to kiss him, but there was still a strange satisfaction flowing around them, pleased that they were just as susceptible to the treacherous desire between them. She could see it in his dark crystal-blue eyes, in the thundering beat of his heart and his metal hand, possessively holding her, gently stroking her covered skin.

“You’re bleeding” He said after a while, his gaze falling on her wounded shoulder.

She didn’t even turn to assess the damage and kept her eyes focused on him.

“I’ve had worse” She told him, voice filled with need and desire.

“Y/N…” He warned her.

His human hand crept into her hair. He was inexplicably drawn to her, she was intoxicating. When he traced a path over her cheek with his thumb, she closed her eyes, savoring the moment.

“Fuck” He cursed under his breath.

He kissed her temple, the movement so gentle yet so significantly filled with unsaid feelings. They heard noises, more people coming their way, and just like that their frozen time was up. He took the piece of cloth she had torn apart and wrapped it around her bleeding shoulder quickly before grabbing her hand and leading her toward their escape route.

She followed him without protesting. He led her to a window and both of them jumped. The car wasn’t far and they sprinted to get to it. They could already hear the agents rushing, they had to hurry. Bucky glanced rapidly in Y/N’s direction, making sure she was alright. The blood had started to flow on her arm through her made up bandage of clothing. She simply nodded her head to reassure him. They drove in silence, checking every now and then that no one was following them. Apart from the altercation, the mission was a success. No one had recognized them and they had what they were looking for. Worn out and a bit dizzy from the loss of blood, Y/N let herself relax and yawned. Bucky felt himself breath a little better now that they were out of harm’s way and surprised himself when a smile spread across his face at the sleepy form of his partner.

Later that night, they safely got to their hotel room. Completely tired, Y/N let herself fall on the bed. She watched Bucky from the corner of her eyes heading to the bathroom. He came back with a few items and silently sat next to her. He unfastened the cloth around her arm without looking at her or asking her permission and opened a bottle of alcohol. When he poured it on her injury, she hissed. She tried to push back, a reflex to get away from the pain, but instantly stopped when she felt his cold hand keeping her in place. She glanced down at her shoulder and studied the wound.

“Doesn’t look too bad” She inspected.

“The bullet didn’t do any damage”

“Good” She sighed, falling back on the bed.

She watched him clean it then wrapped it up with gauze. He was methodic, every movements seemed rehearse, like he had done it many times before.

“Thank you, Bucky” She murmured.

She saw the corner of his mouth rising, forming a small grin he was trying to hide. Without a word, he stood up and started to walk around the room. Y/N observed him curiously, wondering what he was doing. She sat back against the headboard of the bed and followed his moves. He stopped next to the door and dimmed the light.

“What are you doing ?” She asked, half amused, half confused.

He held up a finger, silently telling her to wait. He took out his phone and suddenly music filled the room. He discarded his jacket, tossing it in a corner of the room, rolling up his sleeves. That simple action was enough to raise the temperature of her body. He was aware of her hungry gaze on his muscles, following his movement and didn’t miss the way she bit her lips. He slowly walked to the side of the bed, right next to her, raising his metal hand toward her.

“What is this ?” She interrogated him, her voice so small she wasn’t sure he heard.

“You said it yourself, I owe you a dance”

She starred back with doubtful eyes but took his hand nonetheless. He led her to the center of the room and began to slowly sway with her.

“La bohème” She recognized the song.

“You said you loved it”

“Didn’t think you’d remember”

“It might come as a shock, Agent Y/L/N, but I do pay attention” He flirtatiously sniggered.

Her breath caught in her throat when he pulled her closer and sneaked an arm around her waist. Spinning and circles and shuffling his feet to the rhythm, he made her laugh. He surprised himself thinking he wished he could carve that sound into his head and never forget it. They danced together, their body close, and she knew she must have been blushing. It only made his smile grew bigger. He stood looking down at her with a hint of danger in his eyes. There was so much more she saw in him than an experiment and a super soldier, but she would never admit that. For some reason, she wanted to find a flaw in him, something that would level the field between them. Until she realized that with him, all bets were off.

“I’m not sure I like that” She said, hating the note of anxiety in her voice.

“What ? Dancing ?”

“Us not being at each others throat” She sincerely answered. “But I’ll admit, you’re a pretty bad dancer”

She felt the rumble of his chuckle against her body.

“You can still fight me if you’re up for it” He replied, smirking down at her. She smacked his chest and he pretended to be hurt for a second. She rolled her eyes at his antics.

He made her twirl and she felt an adrenaline rush when he drew her close to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and made a movement to brush her hair away but his hand stopped hers. Instead he carefully laid it on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying about my dancing ?” He smirked as he made her spin once again.

“That you had no sense of rhythm” She joked.

He laughed and dropped his head, studying her.

“I like it” He confessed, an answer to what she had admitted earlier.

A surprising sense of comfort suddenly settled in her stomach at his admission.

“This stays between us, Barnes” She warned him.

“Is that a threat ?” He laughed.

“Exactly” She whispered, laying her head against his chest as they continued to move together, too lost in the music to halt. “One word to Steve and you’ll be on the wrong end of my knife”

She felt his smile when he lowered his head to kiss the naked skin on her uninjured shoulder.

“You have my word, Agent Y/L/N” He winked. “And just so you know, I’m a better dancer than you are”

“No you’re not”

“I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong”

“Is that your way of asking me out ?” She smugly smiled with a hint of seductiveness in her tone.

“Maybe… is it working ?”

“I still haven’t decided if I want to fight you yet”

He grinned, he couldn’t help himself but felt at ease around the dangerous woman. After a while, they stopped moving. Bucky felt her body relaxing and her weight getting more heavy as she started to fall asleep against him. He buried his nose in her hair, closing his eyes to enjoy their moment out of time. When he was certain the woman was asleep, he carried her to the bed. He made sure she was comfortable enough under the covers, taking extra precaution not to touch her wound. Then he sat next to her, already knowing the moment they would get back, he would go to Steve for advices. She would be mad, most likely with a newfound desire to kill him. They would probably fight, but strangely that perspective only made his smile. He was ready to wrestle if it meant they would both win in the end.

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gayenerd · 4 years ago

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I have literally no source for this interview, but it’s one of my favorites because Billie seems to be really honest about his songwriting here - this is when Nimrod came out

The day I met Billie Joe Armstrong he flashed me his new tattoo, a Chuck-Jones-perfect cartoon character on his right bicep. Above it was some skull or Celtic armband or something, but below was the name "Joseph," exquisitely lettered, for his firstborn child. It's that image of him that I always keep in my head, and what I think of when I hear his band, Green Day: loopy humor and face-punch riffs and sincere sentiment I tight formation, worn as close to the skin as possible, covered in sweat. From the band's first records on the local Berkeley label Lookout, 39/Smooth and Kerplunk!, through the multi-million selling Warner Brothers releases Dookie, Insomniac, and now Nimrod, Armstrong has written dozens of perfect little punk-rock ditties that are probably the most sincere and playful acts of musical aggression since that first punk wave twenty years ago.

But the songs are more than throwbacks. Armstrong writes from a very personal perspective, the perspective of someone born in the Me Decade, raised in the Me-vs.-You Decade, and trying to cope in the Yet-to-be-Stereotyped Decade. His songs are about the current crises of being alive right now, in a society that's used up and marketed all of its counter-cultures, and has little use for its youth except as consumers. The songs are also about how one reconciles anger and rebellion with love and desire to not be so down all the time. It's less political and more personal than its punk rock predecessors, an angry/crying/shouting/fucking definition of self.

It made me wonder how you can take bile directed at you and turn it into a song that gets sold at the local Sam Goody. I figured I'd ask, so I called him up at his home in Berkeley.

Q: Where do you start when writing a song?

A: Most of the time I'll come up with a melody, and I'll do lyrics, but I'll tackle them at different times and not connect the two, you know? So I'll come up with the riffs, and the melody of the song, like a short ditty. I'll put some lyrics to it and bring it to band practice and then we'll just start to pound it out. And then, as things need to be restructured, sometimes Mike [Dirnt, bassist] will have an idea for something, or Tré [Cool, drummer] will have an idea for something, or sometimes we'll just leave it alone and it's sort of already done.

Q: Have there been any particular songs that have stayed the same from the original inspiration to recording, or have they all gone through changes in the process?

A: There's a lot of them that stay the same. "Redundant" really never changed, except we made it a little longer by adding another chorus at the end. And there's this song called "All The Time" that's pretty much exactly the way I had it.

Q: So how much does a song change then, in producing the record? On Nimrod there are a lot of different arrangements: strings on "Good Riddance," horns on "King For A Day." Did you have the ragtime horns in mind when you were writing?

A: No, not at all. I actually demo'd that song and played all the instruments myself and showed it to the band and they're like, "oh, that's pretty cool." We fucked around with it and practiced it a couple of times, but we never expected it to go onto the record. Then when we got to the studio, we said whatever, we'll just put it on there. It ended up being pretty good, but the song was just screaming for horns. We got Gabe [McNair] and Steve [Bradley] and it was so funny. They said, "what do you want us to play?" And I said, 'I'm sure you'll think of something.' And they looked at me like, "aw man!" So they basically wrote all the horn parts to that song.

Q: What's more important, lyrics or the music?

A: I think lyrics are really important, because there are songs that, musically, I don't think are the greatest in the world but lyrically are amazing. I mean, Johnny Rotten never had the greatest voice in the world but he wrote really good lyrics for the first Sex Pistols record, and that goes for a lot of people. But the thing is, a lot of people tend to -- especially in pop songs -- they tend to take the music and put something sappy to it, and it's just a one-dimensional emotion that the rest of the songs has to carry. I was actually thinking about that yesterday. I went to a friend's house, and they were joking around, putting on the Spice Girls records. And it was blatantly catchy, super catchy, but at the same time it really didn't say anything. You could only hold it at face value, there was no depth behind it, you really couldn't tell anything about the people singing it. But I guess there's a need for that. People want to hear songs that don't say anything, they want to go out to a dance club and shake their booty.

Q: That's a good question, then: what makes a good song? Depth, a point of view...?

A: I guess so. I don't know. I know what I like, personally. Like, yesterday I did my top ten favorite songs or something like that.

Q: What's on there?

A: Let's see. "Surrender" by Cheap Trick. "In My Life" by the Beatles. A song called "They'll Never Call It Quits" by a band called One Man Army. Generation X, "Kiss Me Deadly." "Outsider" by the Ramones. Hüsker Dü, "Makes No Sense At All."

Q: How do you deal with writer's block?

A: I write something else, just for fun. I'm just habitual about it. If I can't come up with the song...the great song that you want to write that will leave your mark forever or something cheesy like that, I'll write a polka number if I can't come up with something.

Q: Do you put that kind of pressure on yourself? Do you say "this one's gonna be a statement?"

A: Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'll think way. I just have a really strong work ethic. I have that sort of way about all my songs that, lyrically, every single one of them has to have some subliminal thing going for it. But most people don't really get what you're talking about until 10 years after the fact anyway. That seems to be how people respect songwriters through time.

Q: Do you have a time of day or a place where you write? You say you have a work ethic, how does that manifest itself?

A: Anytime, every time. The other night I was dead tired. All I wanted to do was fall asleep, and me and [my wife] Adrienne get in bed, and we're laying there. I was just dozing off a little bit, and all of the sudden this music was popping in my head, going over and over. And I was like, aw man, I have to go downstairs to put this on my guitar and just write it down. But I don't want to. I was so tired. So finally I got up and I go, 'goddammit! I have to get this done.' Otherwise I would forget it.

Q: When you're writing, do you write with an album in mind or song by song?

A: Song by song. I can't really conceptualize that far in advance. We knew we wanted to change and bring in new elements on the new record. But we really didn't know how to do it. So I wrote, constantly, all kinds of songs. Fifty or something. And you try to find some sort of natural progression within those songs, and try to capture that on the record.

Q: So are the songs you write linked by your state of mind, or thematically?

A: Sometimes if I'll get into a depression, writer's block, where I can't write, I get really bummed out and then I'm not working at all, I'm not doing anything. And then I'll deliberately get myself down to the lowest of the low that I could possibly get down to. And then a song will pop up. And I'll be happy, I'll get ecstatic for like the next month and then all of the sudden another one will pop up.

Q: So you revel in the dark zone and it's useful.

A: Yeah...sort of...I kind of...well...definitely.

Q: But you don't necessarily choose to be there...

A: Sometimes I'll cause problems just so I can get in touch with that emotional side or whatever, you know. Just to see if something will spark up, start a fight or something (laughs).

Q: Can you name a song that has come out of something like that?

A: Umm...a song called "Worry Rock."

Q: Seems like a really personal song.

A: Yeah. I think I got drunk and put my fist through a window. Adrienne called me an asshole or something like that and, I don't know. We just got into some meaningless fight like most couples get into, those fights that don't make any sense. A fight for the sake of fighting, which can be destructive to your relationship. That's how that song came about.

Q: Are you okay with that kind of exposure that comes from investing your personal life and emotions in a song like that? Is your family okay with that?

A: Yeah, I think so. I guess the only problem would be if, say, Adrienne doesn't have an outlet for herself. That's the kind of thing that I worry about. The things that she could say about me could be pretty horrifying.

Q: In what way are you a different songwriter now than you were on 39/Smooth and Kerplunk?

A: It goes in a way of, you know, what kind of person were you at sixteen, and what kind of person are you at twenty? It's almost like two different people in some aspects. I think that most of my stuff is based on infatuations with women. Some are just straight obsession. I mean, nowadays you could call me a stalker (laughs). The quest for that ultimate happiness with another person, which I think started to change, and it changed pretty dramatically with Kerplunk, because I started to talk about other things, like loss of innocence, going out on your own, moving out at the age of seventeen, being a high school dropout, living in west Oakland in a warehouse with fifteen people. Where the first record was more...mushy...the next one you could tell I was going through some pretty dramatic changes.

Q: So Dookie comes out, and where are you there?

A: I think I turned more bitter. I started to realize where my true friendships were, the politics of Berkeley were setting in, drug abuse was starting to fuck with me a little bit. I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me, but I couldn't really do it and that had a lot to do with drugs. I started to get a lot more bitter. Life wasn't how it was supposed to be when you're on your own. There's a couple of different songs on there...I mean, the psychoses that went into that record! Songs like "Basket Case" and "Coming Clean" were blatantly neurotic songs.

Q: That's messed up: amazing success, and it's your bitterness you're being celebrated for.

A: I don't know. It's funny because I feel that once you write a song, and then record it, and then release it, it doesn't necessarily belong to you anymore. I mean, you can hold that piece of work closer to you than anybody else can, and that was one of the big problems for a while. I felt so misunderstood all the time. Which goes with the territory, anyway, of writing songs. Because nobody really understands what the hell you're talking about. Other people have interpretations of whatever, figure out their own plot, make it fit to the soundtrack of their own lives. It messed with me a little bit, 'cause people didn't know where I came from, people didn't know where I came from, people didn't really know what I stood for. People calling us a throwback to 1977, I guess I got affected by that. Because punk rock is a lifestyle for me, and has nothing to do with 1977 or any particular band, but the relationship that you had with and the amount of work that you put into your local scene. And it gets completely misinterpreted as trying to make a buck.

Q: It wasn't a fashion statement, it was a lifestyle.

A: Yeah, a lot of people took it as a fashion statement, even to the point where I think a lot of people thought we were the '90s equivalent of Sha Na Na or something. Some of that's kind of funny, whatever. But now I sort of don't care. No one's gonna understand it anyway. The whole success or fame thing was so new to me at the time, it came so abruptly, and I was like, wow, this is too much. I didn't know all this baggage was connected to all this shit. I thought I'd just have the opportunity to play my songs for people.

Q: Is that why the new album is as different as it is, because you're just doing what you want to do, you don't have to be what people thought you were, or even what you thought you were?

A: I think so. That might have something to do with it. I think when you stop caring and worrying about what people think, even stop caring what you think of yourself to a certain extent, and just sort of do it, it's a release to push your past behind you. I think that's when the best stuff comes out. And, of course, when you're forging ahead really hard. I think this time our songs are much more than just things that you can listen to, but actually visualize at the same time. It's like this guy told me the other day, this friend of mine, he goes, you know I was listening to that song "Platypus," and I can totally imagine this big western stampede of horses and cows. And that, for me, is exactly what I was thinking. Not that I was thinking of a stampede, you know, but that kind of quality.

Q: So you communicated an image and a feeling.

A: Exactly.

Q: Of any of your songs, do you have a favorite?

A: Lately, I like "Walking Alone" and "Uptight" I've been into. My mind changes all the time.

Q: Let's talk about one of those. What are the circumstances around a song like "Walking Alone?"

A: I play in this side project band called Pinhead Gunpowder. This guy Aaron Elliot writes all the lyrics and a lot of the music. And he wrote this song called "I Walk Alone," which is about walking at night, the streets, being a street punk. And so I wrote...I don't know what you'd call it -- an alter ego song? -- called "Walking Alone."

Q: An answer song?

A: Yeah, cause we always work in that sort of way. I wrote a song called "She," so he wrote an article in his fanzine called "She." It's kind of funny, it's really good to bounce things off of each other. So "Walking Alone" and "I Walk Alone" were sort of the same thing. I think Tom Petty could play that song. It's got that harmonica and the big smashing snare sound on it. But it was the first time I ever played harmonica. I can't play harmonica at all. I had to teach myself how to play that.

Q: Hey, you did great.

A: Oh, thanks. We actually tried to get a studio musician to play it, but I think he was a little too hobo for us.

Q: Smelled bad?

A: Actually, he had almost too much soul for it. He was too good at what he did. And I wanted it to come across more loosely. Not as good, I guess. So I played it.

Q: It's not a confident song, or a song about confidence. "Sometimes I need to apologize/sometimes I need to admit that I ain't right."

A: It's sort of like sticking your foot in your mouth sometimes, and thinking out loud, but the lyric changes. It turns into talking about friends and how they change and your friends either become lawyers or the local town drunks.

Q: Any advice for people writing who want to be hit songwriters?

A: Oh God, I don't know. Don't take advice from anybody.

#'The things that she could say about me could be pretty horrifying'#yeah i bet #interview #article #articles #billie joe armstrong

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cmi-miu · 4 years ago

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Ya’aburnee - Chapter 1 (Seventeen Soulmate AU)

Soulmate AU: The last words your soulmate says to you are the words tattooed on your wrist.

Pairing: SoonWoo, JiHan, SeokHao

Title: Ya'aburnee (arabic): yak-BER-nee (n.) lit. "you bury me"; the hope that your lover or beloved will outlive you as to spare yourself the pain of living beyond that person.

Summary: In a world where one’s wrists spell the Last Words their Soulmates will ever speak to them, Hansol and Seungkwan are stuck in a loophole of almost forever but never there. Where Seungkwan wants to take the next step and Hansol fears everything. And Jisoo and Jeonghan are so madly in love that nothing seems to get in their way despit uncertainity looming large around them. And Soonyoung is stuck in an unhappy marriage after the death of his soulmate—his wrist mocking him of the love he has lost forever and one he is sure to loose again. Wonwoo on the other hand is slowly falling in love despite the fear of Soonyoung speaking the words he’s most afraid of.

Author's Note: I refer to Minghao as Myungho and Dokyeom as Seokmin in this fic so... yeah...

Wonwoo has never been a romantic, what with fate ruining his life with the constant reminder of his yet to be found soulmate. Whoever was writing his romantic destiny up there was surely a royal dick because who in their fucking mind would think that marking his wrists up eternally with a very popular, and honestly addictive pop song’s lyrics, was a good idea? Yeah, Wonwoo wasn’t really a big fan of this “God” person.

He sighs, turning down the radio volume as that bloody song blares through the speakers as he’s tying his tie, getting ready for office. It’s a cover sung by a bunch of teenagers and had it been any other song, Wonwoo would’ve called up the radio station and complimented the kids for their splendid rendition of the decade-old song. But as it happens to be the cursed song that laces his wrists, he’s really not that keen on complimenting, let alone acknowledging anyone.

After all, every time he hears the song, every time his wrists shine, his stomach feels like it has spontaneously turned into a black hole that’s rapidly sucking him in.

“You do realise that I actually happen to like that song,” his husband mutters as he steps into the living room of their apartment. Cuffing his sleeves as, he too, prepares for his fifteen-minute drive to the office.

Wonwoo sighs, making room on the couch for his husband, as he continues putting on his shoes. “And you realise that I don’t want to constantly be reminded that my soulmate could be literally anyone who enjoys singing this song, and it might be the last time I ever hear them, right?”

Soonyoung, his husband, snorts and shakes his head as he mumbles, “nice to know you don’t have it narrowed down to your own husband.”

Sighing once again the Wonwoo bites his lips, picking up his briefcase from the coffee table. “I really don’t want to have this conversation with you, Soonyoung,” he mumbles, walking into the kitchen to pull out the grilled cheese sandwiches from the griller. He plates them with an orange juice on the counter, calling out to Soonyoung to “eat before you leave,” as he steps out of the apartment.

No ‘I love you’s’ are shared and no goodbye kisses happen. Soonyoung watches his husband close the door behind him without a second glance and he feels nothing.

***

“Myungho, I just don’t think you understand how important marriage is to me,” Seokmin mumbles to his live-in boyfriend of three years, as they lie in each other’s embrace. He can see the frown starting to line his boyfriend’s eyes and he holds his hands tighter as if asking him to let him continue. “I know you’re scared something bad will happen when we say our vows, but it might not even happen, Babe.”

Myungho rolls his eyes, pulling away from the cuddled-up position he and Seokmin are in and stares into his boyfriend’s eyes as he points at the tiny, I do on his wrist. “Do you see this ‘I do’ on my wrist, Seokmin? Do you understand what this means for me and anyone I might be dumb enough to get married to?” Seokmin stares at the mocking words and gulps as he tries to search for a retort but comes back empty-handed. “My sister’s husband died the day he said ‘I love you’ to her before sending her off to work. A car crash, Seokmin. The last thing she heard her husband say was ‘I love you’ and she always knew it’d kill him.”

“That doesn’t mean—” Seokmin begins but is cut off when Myungho pushes him away and starts pulling up his pants, already irritated with the same old conversation.

“She lived every day regretting his words ever since,” Myungho growls, putting on his T-shirt as he starts walking away. “She always told me how guilty she felt for ever allowing her husband to say those words, even after knowing what would happen. Every time he said those words, every time they shone on her wrist, her heart would stop until the words stopped glowing! She says she didn’t think it would happen so soon. But now look at her.” He shakes his head, walking out the door as he mutters under his breath, “stuck in that asylum for life.”

Seokmin watches his lover walk away and he knows he can’t do anything but hurt at the man’s actions. But, no matter how much he hurts, Seokmin knows that he can’t blame Myungho for wanting to protect his love for all eternity. He looks at his own wrist and rubs at the place where once the same words that lace Myungho's wrist had been, remembering getting them covered up at the age of nineteen after watching his father’s breakdown at his mother’s death.

They were never soulmates and something inside his father had broken when he found his wife’s last words to him were not “remember to water the plants today, Taeshik”.

***

It takes a special kind of skill to burn a tablecloth with nothing but one single matchstick, Jisoo realises, as he’s rubbing ice over his boyfriend’s finger. Shaking his head at the man, he asks him to keep the ice on his finger for a while and asks him to go back into their bedroom. The man had come out to make a sandwich—at four in the morning—and had burnt his fingers. Though, how that happened is a story Jisoo doesn’t wish to know.

He pulls out the ingredients for a simple chicken salad sandwich when his phone blares announcing a phone call. Rolling his eyes, he receives it, because only one person would call him up at four in the morning. His brother, Soonyoung.

“Just because it’s 7 pm back in Korea,” Jisoo begins, not even allowing Soonyoung on the other line to get a word in, “doesn’t mean you can call me at fucking 4 am, Kwon Soonyoung.”

The younger man snickers on the other end as he seems to shuffle in bed, Jisoo just knows he has probably a tonne of laundry lying on it. “I didn’t think you’d actually answer the call, Joshi.”

Jisoo snorts and pours some homemade mayonnaise in a bowl and pulls out the boiled chicken from the fridge as he explains, “Jeonghan, woke up in the middle of the night to make a sandwich and ended up burning the table cloth and his own hand in the process.

“It’s so creepy that you say this in such a ‘matter-of-fact’ manner,” Soonyoung mutters.

“Hey,” Jisoo shrugs, adding some seasoning into the mayo-chicken mix, “he’s super lazy and super clumsy and the sooner I accept this the better it’ll be for the both of us.”

Soonyoung giggles at his words and Jisoo takes pride in his feat. Sobering down a little when the man stops laughing and silence settles between them. “You okay, Hosh?” He mumbles into the receiver, walking back into his bedroom with the sandwiches in hand.

“Just feeling a little lonely,” Soonyoung mumbles. And Jisoo knows how vulnerable he must be feeling, seeing as he’s admitting to it.

“Where’s Wonwoo?” The man asks, settling down beside his boyfriend, pointing at the phone to make it clear that he shouldn’t speak. “Isn’t he home yet? It’s seven already, right?”

He hears Soonyoung sigh and plump his head on the pillow; he can almost feel Soonyoung’s loneliness digging holes into his own heart. “His office hasn’t let out yet,” Soonyoung tells him—voice tight. “He’ll leave in about an hour.”

Jisoo aches to comfort his brother somehow. To tell him that it’s just an hour. That Wonwoo will be home soon and that he should just wait it out a little. But he knows that Soonyoung’s loneliness has nothing to do with Wonwoo’s office timings. And that it has everything to do with the charred words on his wrist. The words that stopped shinning almost a year ago.

He finds himself unable to respond and it is Soonyoung who has to calm his thoughts as he mumbles “I… I think… I think Wonwoo’s home now, Jisoo. I’ll talk to you later.”

His brother cuts the call after that but Jisoo knows it’s not because his husband just came back home. He knows Wonwoo hasn’t come back yet because he never heard the doorbell ring on Soonyoung’s side. And against his better judgment, knowing well that nothing is going to change between the pair, Jisoo wishes happiness to both men.

He’s aware of the pain they’ve been through and nothing hurts more than his inability to help them.

#caratwritersclub #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fanfic rec #seventeen fanfiction #fanfic #svt fanfic #svt otp #soonwoo #jihan #seokhao #soulmate #soulmate au #svt soulmate au #seventeen soulmate au #seventeen angst #ya'aburnee

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musicblogwales · 4 years ago

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Track By Track: Quiet Marauder - ‘Tiny Men Parts’ EP

Today Quiet Marauder release their brand new ‘Tiny Men Parts’ EP via Bubblewrap Collective. We caught up with Simon Read from the band to give us a track by track insight into the wild and wacky world of the mighty QM. THE BUSINESS DEAL: When we first started Quiet Marauder as an active live band, there were three of us involved and this was one of our first co-writing efforts. The song channels the darkness of characters in American Psycho and Wall Street, how their overconfident facades could easily slip into derangement. A lot of the tracks on our debut MEN were focused on these types of characters: menacing, brooding and celebrating their own outrageous behaviour with cocktails of drugs.

I WANT A MOUSTACHE, DAMMIT: I met a chap called Solomon in a bar in Cardiff who told me about his plans to write a musical about Gummo - a really strange cult film starring Chloe Sevigny. There’s a scene in it where a kid keeps saying that they ‘want a moustache, dammit, like Burt Reynolds’ so this became the central core of the song we ultimately came up with. Playing it live, we often give audience members their own Burt Reynolds face masks, ask them to chew through his eyes, and then put their tongues through the holes that are left. It still amazes me that we have such a high conversion rate of people doing this, but there is no better sight in the world than a room full of Burts all with tongues for eyes.

RODA & THE BUNKER: This was part of a collaboration with a young adult fiction writer called Lucy Christopher. She asked me to write some songs to accompany a book she had written called The Killing Woods about teenagers playing dangerous, dark games in a forest. I guess this track is about how those hormones can overspill into damaging, frightening and intimidating behaviours.

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS THE MOON: For me, this track epitomises some of the core issues of our MEN album and subsequently Tiny Men Parts. This was intended as a critique of the duplicity embedded into our interactions, our attempts to manipulate or coerce others into doing things. Also, though, it’s about our willingness to blame situations and events on almost everything but ourselves and how, if you take that to the extreme, it grows increasingly mad and ridiculous.

THE INTERNAL MONOLOGUE DATE: My internal conversations are, at once, horrifying and bewildering. I’ve gotten accustomed to them being that way over time and, I hope, learned how to stop my mouth from talking before my brain has fully considered what is about to happen next. This wasn’t always the case, though, and back when I was single and dating I would commonly find myself saying something completely inappropriate by accident. This track takes this idea to extremes that I’ve thankfully never reached in real life. Dirty talk really doesn’t suit me somehow, I think I might sound too sarcastic for it to be effective.

LUCKY TONIGHT: The classic lad banter of ‘I’m feeling lucky tonight’ has always baffled me. I remember someone saying before a night out ages ago that they were looking to get lucky with a lady before dawn. While everyone else laughed, I started thinking to what extent this chap may try to influence his own ‘luck’ by doing some bad, bad things. So this is the extremity of the ‘lucky tonight’ position laid bare; the protagonist in the song will do literally anything to ensure their luck comes through.

THE ANIMALS ARE SPYING ON ME: I love animals. Pretty much every animal is outrageously cool. But the thought of all animals organising themselves collectively is also an incredibly daunting one for me. I was confronted by issues of these nature when I was looking at a cat from out of my window. He or she was sat in my garden, preening him or herself, when a large pigeon flew down and sat next to him. I’d heard stories about putting cats amidst pigeons and was expecting carnage, but the pigeon and the cat just looked at each other and then turned their heads towards me and started walking towards the window. I freaked out and closed the blinds and then wrote this song.

EGGS!: The full Cardiff band really did a number on this one. It has morphed from its original incarnation as a one-man, lo-fi acoustic oddity into a pop-punk tour de force which I absolutely adore. This was written on the way back from a stag do in Devon. Me and my travelling partner were listening to Radio 4 and there was a documentary about eggs on, which seemed to go on for about two hours. I couldn’t believe there was so much to say about eggs but it just kept going. Most of the eggs listed in the song were genuine phrases lifted from that documentary. But then I made quite a lot up too.

I WANT A MOUSTACHE, DAMMIT (DANCE REMIX): Myself and Reginald Foxwell from My Name Is Ian often do duo shows together where, without the full regalia of the six-piece band, we are more reliant on keyboards and acoustic type instruments. On our 2019 tour we introduced this version of I Want A Moustache, Dammit to some unsuspecting parts of the UK - predominantly through Reginald’s clever fingers - and we all fell in love with its stupidity. Casio keyboard backing tracks are the cornerstone of modern indie-pop.

Released by Bubblewrap Collective, Tiny Men Parts was be preceded by digital single ‘The Animals Are Spying on Me’, lyrically about human capability for irrational and yet somehow intractable paranoia. Following that the full EP, arriving in limited edition heavyweight white ‘fried egg’ vinyl with accompanying ‘real man’ temporary tattoos is out today.

Quiet Marauder are: Simon M. Read: Vocals, acoustic guitar Ian Williams: Vocals, electric guitar Rowan Liggett: Vocals, bass guitar John Whittles: Drums Francesca Dimech: Vocals, trumpet, melodica Kadesha Drija: Vocals, percussion

Buy it here: https://album.link/gb/i/1535505155

https://quietmarauder.co.uk

https://bubblewrapcollective.co.uk

#Quiet Marauder #Bubblewrap Collective #Tiny Men Parts EP

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meta-squash · 5 years ago

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A ramble on Dallas Theater Center Les Miserables

So, 5 years late, I jumped back on the bandwagon and finally watched a bootleg of Dallas Theater Center’s 2014 production of Les Miserables.

And wow. I can’t believe I waited 5 damn years to watch it. So here’s a long rambling write up on it based on the live-tweeting I was doing as I watched (and a little bit on me skipping through the bootleg video right now). It’s partly just me summarizing scenes so I can nerd out about the little details I loved and towards the end me talking about the show as a whole and why it was so fucking important.

First of all I wanna say that I'm surprised it took this long for a professional theater company to do a "modern day" Les Mis. I know all the fans fucking love their Modern AUs fics, I've been reading them since like 2012 and I love them. But also I'm SO glad someone finally did it because Les Miserables' themes are universal and they are amazing but they're also really relevant to what's going on today, or 5 years ago (since it's only gotten fucking worse tbh).

My first big impression was how great the costuming was. You can tell the socioeconomic class of the characters just from what they’re wearing, from how they posture and interact with others. Which is easy when it’s period costuming, you just make everyone look dirty and ripped up vs not dirty, but this (aside from the Thenardiers) is a little more subtle.

Also re: the costuming, I absolutely LOVE that they modernized Javert’s costume into a cop’s uniform but managed to retain the classic Javert Silhouette by giving him that trenchcoat, so we still get the expected Inspector Javert Silhouette despite the fact that he’s a modern day cop. Also all of the other cops/soldiers being straight up SWAT was an excellent decision, not only because it shows the sheer violence of a police that isn’t supposed to necessarily be SWAT, but also because the helmets completely cover their heads, so when the soldiers sing lines, they don’t even sound human. Yet another layer.

Nehal Joshi as Valjean was great. Honestly the moment I keep thinking about is actually from the very beginning, just after Valjean is released. Joshi looks so happy, delighted, like his heart is light again. He smiles as he sings “ Drink from the pool / How clean the taste” while looking up into the sky like he’s amazed at being in the open air. Then suddenly his posture changes completely, becomes guarded and hard, his expression gets closed off, and he sings “Never forget the years, the waste” before thumbing at his nose in that tough way and grabbing his bag off the ground. It was an emphasis on a pair of lines that I’ve never seen properly emphasized before. Usually the emphasis is on the next lines, when Valjean is saying “Now let’s see / what this new world has in store for me”. But here they emphasize that despite being free, he has traumas he has to deal with, and experiences that mean he’s wary of the world. It makes his theft of the silver make a lot more sense; it’s not just opportunistic, it’s also that he straight up doesn’t trust anybody.

(Another note on costumes: Valjean’s post-prison costume is his orange jumpsuit with this weird ratty, torn up sweater thing over it. I do very much wish they’d given him a hoodie that was equally as ratty instead of a sweater because I feel like that would’ve been another interesting layer of commentary.)

Two notes I made specifically about this production’s Soliloquy: This production had Valjean rip his prison papers accidentally, while he’s in the middle of an emotional gesture, then he stares at the rip in disbelief, and comes to the realization that he could just rip it up, and so he does. I thought that was a very cool mechanic. The audience literally watches him get the idea of changing who he is. Also, when he sings “I am reaching, but I fall / And the night is closing in” he actually wraps the rope of his bag around his own neck, like he’s considering death, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I thought it was really interesting considering those are the lines that directly mirror/parallel Javert’s Suicide.

This production also has all the Bad People roles played by white people, which is just fantastic. The foreman, Javert, all the cops, etc etc. I thought it was an excellent decision, since all of the main characters (minus the revolutionaries) are POC.

Fantine was amazing, has an incredible voice, and her I Dreamed A Dream sounded genuinely miserable, almost frantic with the fact that not only is she a single mother struggling to pay for her child who’s living with some other family, she now has nowhere to turn for money at all, and she’s completely alone. I think she’s my favorite Fantine of any of the ones I saw.

And Lovely Ladies absolutely blew me away. This was the first Lovely Ladies I’ve ever seen that felt Real. Not just that there was sex going on (because there was, there’s people fucking and getting blowjobs etc in the background the entire time), but it doesn’t feel like something silly or shallow. The entire thing feels desperate and exploitative and miserable and painful. Most of the other characters are dressed in provocative, revealing clothes. But there are a few in just jeans and t-shirts, looking desperate and kind of bedraggled. And then you have Fantine, who is literally just in a slip and long socks, looking out of place and terrified.

The usual Lovely Ladies shenanigans do ensue, but there’s a tinge of horribleness to it that is sharper than in the traditional show. In the traditional show, the moment where the music suddenly slows, and all the women sing “Lovely ladies / Going for a song / Got a lot of callers / But they never stay for long”, it usually feels like kind of a weird and unprompted moment of introspection after so much ruckus, but in this version the reason everyone slows down is because the pimp plucks their cash out of each of their hands one by one. And then the horribleness is increased tenfold because all of the women are in a line with men behind them simulating sex, and Fantine is in the center, bent double, the Captain behind her, staring down the audience. With each thrust she grits her words out like she’s in pain in every way imaginable. And the Captain ‘finishes’ just as she hits the line “dead!” Which is just. A lot. But so good. It packs so much more of a punch than Fantine leading the Captain offstage, or to one side of the stage.

The way that Confrontation was staged was also so cool to me. In the shows I’ve seen the first part of Confrontation is Javert and Valjean facing off with Javert stage left and Valjean kind of up beside Fantine’s bed, but they’re on the same “level,” in that Valjean walks a few paces forward a few lines later and they grapple. In this version, they stood quite literally on either side of Fantine’s hospital bed, so that they’re arguing across her dead body.

Madame Thenardier made me think of a bizarre cross between Miss Hannigan, the mom from Matilda, and Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous. She did a great job. M Thenardier is a douchey hipster pirate type guy with white guy dreads. Also they made him an ex-con as well, but he displays the numbers tattooed on his chest with pride compared to Valjean who hides them, which was yet another interesting decision.

This version of Les Mis has taught me that “My mom doesn’t let me drink” is the absolute BEST piece of spoken dialogue you could throw in before Master Of The House kicks the fuck off.

Also this version has Eponine participating in the scams during Master Of The House: she takes peoples’ orders, carries plates, dances, etc. She’s cleaner and more pampered than Cosette, but she’s still being used.

Look Down was really interesting to me. Now, I think what I’m about to say is partly informed by costuming. That is, I think with period costuming an audience has a harder time distinguishing more subtle roles between (non-main) characters. What I mean is, in traditional Look Down, it just seems like three characters having an argument with each other, but with a modernized version the costuming makes it clear that it’s an old beggar woman, a prostitute, and her pimp. While that’s obvious from the actual dialogue, the period costuming makes it a little harder to glean the separate character types other than “beggar type”. Anyway, the roles being clearer via costuming makes all the interactions seem a lot more Real. It’s not just people all dressed alike singing lines at each other, it’s actual separate people having actual conflicts.

Also, I really really liked Mark Hancock as Gavroche. He’s older, or at least bigger, than most kids who end up playing Gavroche, and he’s not the most beautiful singer, but I think that works all the better for a production like this one. He’s not a cutesy Oliver Twist-type character. He’s a kid living rough on the streets, and he’s got a sense of humor but he is a badass.

This version also had a LOT more flirtatious behavior between Marius and Cosette. Like it’s not just one glance on the street. During The Robbery, Marius and Cosette are giving little glances and flirty waves the whole time, all shy and cute, little hand signals like “I want to talk to you oh my god” etc. Also this Cosette has glasses! She’s so cute!

Stars as a song feels very weird when it’s a Modern Day Cop singing about such a philosophical topic, and at first I was kinda ??? about it. Because you know, in a period piece, you kind of expect more elaborate language, you expect certain types of morality, etc. It sounds weird coming out of someone dressed like a pig you’d see on the street in real life. But then at the end of the song Javert takes a rosary out of his breast pocket to sing “Lord let me find him...” etc, and suddenly it actually made a lot of sense. It finally connected the religious references and morality displayed in the lyrics. Because a lot of shitty cops in real life are masquerading as Christians, so again, a good decision.

Ah, the ABC Cafe. Always lovely to hear those horns. John Campione was AMAZING as Enjolras. At first I was a little disappointed they made him a white guy, but then I thought about it and it actually makes a lot of sense. Despite his passion about justice etc, Brick Enjolras is a wealthy student; what better way to show his privilege in a modern setting than to have him be white? Anyway, I think Campione did a great job of portraying a leader who is so passionate, and so dedicated, and so intent on his cause but also kind of stressed out as the day draws nearer. (More on that later.)

Similarly, this Grantaire is a little shit. He does this hilarious like “call on me!” hand raise before “I am agog, I am aghast” which I thought was quite funny and cute. Also after “It’s better than an opera,” the Amis all laugh and clap, and Enjolras does this extremely sarcastic slow clapping before admonishing Marius with “It is time for us all to decide who we are” etc. Also Grantaire and Enjolras are actually standing beside each other for Marius lines, so that when he says “struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight,” Grantaire looks directly at Enjolras and stays staring at him, so that when he moves downstage to stand across from Marius and sing “Red!” and “Black!” at him, it feels more like solidarity than mocking.

But then Enjolras pulls Marius further downstage for his “Marius you are no longer a child” etc lines. His body language is great here. When he sings “Who cares about your lonely soul,” he doesn’t just look like some charismatic leader man. He looks like someone who’s stressed out and a little annoyed/exasperated that this person is causing a distraction right when things are started to get important. He runs his hands through his hair, his gestures are clipped and fast, like he’s got too much energy and isn’t quite sure where to put it. It’s so good. He sings “Our little lives don’t count at all.” And then there’s a long, long moment of silence. A long one, where Marius looks around at his friends and realization that what they’re undertaking is much bigger than his emotional outburst, that Enjolras is right and he has to be with them instead of off in the clouds. And he raises his hand tentatively and then more surely towards Enjolras and sings that next “Red! The blood of angry men!” all on his own before the rest of the Amis join in. GREAT decisions there. SO COOL. (Also this is the moment when an Amis Hand Sign is established, which is important later on.)

This show uses silence in a way that I’ve never really seen another version do it. After Gavroche yells “General Lamarque is dead!” there’s usually a beat of silence before Enjolras begins to sing. In this version there is a long, long moment of silence when everyone looks around at each other, a moment where Joly tosses his pamphlet angrily onto the table and sits down with his head in his hands, a moment where Marius and Grantaire are the only two who turn away and face upstage at the news, a moment where they all process that this is fucking Real, and everything that they’ve been planning is suddenly Actually Happening. And then Enjolras begins, and his voice is so soft, and so sad, and it’s like he’s delivering a eulogy, but it’s only when he gets to “Is the sign we await!” and we get those trumpets that it changes into Enjolras The Leader, and it’s go time, and everything is Intense. Campione is fantastic as Enjolras because I think often people play Enjolras as this solid, charismatic leader who is stoney-faced and sure of himself etc. Which works for the period style (and is fairly Brick-accurate), but I think would seem a little odd in a modern day setting. This Enjolras is in it, he’s into it, he’s fucking intense and ablaze with energy. He sings Do You Hear The People Sing like he’s giving a speech, like he’s trying to convince (And “the real glory is to convince” so y’know).

And Do You Hear The People Sing as a campaigning song is brilliant. It starts out not with march, but with handing out fliers made of red paper, passing them out and getting out the word. Only then do they pull out signs and put on red caps and start marching.

In My Life/A Heart Full Of Love was so fucking hilariously cute. Marius and Cosette are both excellent levels of awkward, and there’s a lot of nonverbal flirting going on, and I just thought it was really well done.

I was told while I was live-tweeting that during One Day More the sort of dancing march they do (because it’s like a dance, instead of the in-place marching of the traditional version) is actually the Toyi-Toyi, a South African dance that was used as a form of protest during Apartheid and during other times as well. So that was a very cool addition. I’m sure there are other callbacks in this show to other protests or protest traditions like that that I didn’t even catch. The dance also reminded me of the body percussion used in A Quoi Tu Danses from 1789: Les Amants De La Bastille, so that was cool as well. We also get face paint and signs and red berets and button pins and a lot of stuff that has been seen in a lot of modern protests/movements lately.

Side note: Javert’s disguise is amazing because he retains his cop boots and trousers and crisp white shirt; he just puts a brown jacket and a red scarf over it and wears a red beret.

OKay SO. This is possibly the BEST On My Own I’ve ever seen. Now, I’m highly partial to Briana Carlson-Goodman as Eponine because the emotion in her voice is just mind-blowing. But this On My Own was so amazing. First of all, I’m amazed I’ve never seen any other production do this: when Eponine sings “pretending he’s beside me”, she puts out her hand like she’s holding some imaginary lover’s hand, like she’s genuinely imagining him walking with her, and it made her self-deception that much sadder. And this version was so good, I think because it was this perfect combination of angry and disappointed and yearning and self-deceiving. You can tell this Eponine KNOWS she’s deluding herself that Marius will ever love her, that she’s hugely disappointed and almost angry at that fact, but she still loves him and wants him and wants that love, and it just makes that self-deception all the stronger.

This version of Les Mis brings the barricade in as a flown set piece, which I think is an interesting decision. I definitely prefer the US Tour version, where the downstage scrim is backlit/lifted and both the audience and Eponine are suddenly confronted with the fully-built barricade. However, the barricade being flown in does give the Barricade Boys a moment to stand and admire their handiwork, so that’s kind of also cool.

(Somewhat unrelated, but throughout the show this Grantaire is a lot more still than other actors’ versions of R, but also more still than the other Amis in this show, so it’s clearly a choice. Other version of R are slumped over a table or slumped on the ground a lot, or they’re wobbly, or just generally restless and upset. This R is so still and just standing unmoved and blank it’s definitely a choice. Very much taking the “he seemed to be waiting there for a bullet which should spare him the trouble of waking” quote from the Brick and translating it to the stage version, in that he does move to shoot his gun but aside from that he’s so stock still it’s like he’s given up. Anyway. Back to the actual show instead of me just waxing lyrical about my favorite character.

When Eponine climbs over the barricade, Marius waves down all the guns just as Joly yells “There’s a boy climbing the barricade!” This kind of happens in other versions, but it seems like most of the traditional Les Mis versions all the Barricade Boys just kind of accept someone’s climbing the barricade and let Eponine over? In this one Marius like actually is waving down their guns, blatantly being like “don’t shoot, I know this person.”

And when Eponine is revealed to be shot, they don’t just let her die in Marius’ arms. The first half of A Little Fall Of Rain is sung with Eponine in Marius’ arms, but there’s also Feuilly there as a medic, pressing handkerchiefs to her wound, his hand on her with Marius’ hand on top of his and Eponine’s on top of them both. When Marius is saying “and you will live ‘Ponine,” medic/Feuilly shakes his head at him as if to say, ‘don’t tell her that, she’s not going to make it, I’m so sorry,’ but he still has his hand on her wound. It’s only when she sings “Just hold me now, and let it be” that Eponine pushes the medic/Feuilly away so she can die just with Marius. I really, really, really loved that because it seems so Right. Like, they’re fighting for a better world, they’re not just going to let an injured person die, they’re going to try their best to help her even if she’s dying and there’s nothing they can do. And I really liked that there was a medic there, but he was faced upstage, away from the audience, as if he was trying to help but also not intrude on this private moment. But when Eponine does push him away, he goes fairly easily, like he’s realized that she’s realized that she’s going to die. Also, instead of carrying Eponine offstage like a ragdoll, Grantaire and Feuilly bring over a stretcher and she’s carried off in it by Marius and Feuilly while Grantaire collects the handkerchiefs that were bloodied by her wound.

Valjean’s soldier disguise is the SWAT gear, even the helmet, although he mostly carries it in his hand rather than wearing it. It’s interesting because the difference between the SWAT gear and the suits he wears as Fauchelevent are a hugely stark difference, whereas the difference between his nice period clothes and the soldier’s period uniform isn’t quite so intense.

I noticed that during Drink With Me, Joly put his hand on Grantaire’s shoulder during “Let the wine of friendship never run dry,” which is sweet. I also noticed that aside from the moments where he was shooting his gun and the few moments he was being helpful re: Eponine’s death, Grantaire spends most of his time very very still, staring down at the floor with his shoulders slumped. He judges moments with just a shake of the head and turning away while others watch. His part in Drink With Me is sung with a bitterness that is more final than it is angry, like he can’t understand why they’ve all chosen to sacrifice themselves like this and he hates it and he’s bitter that all his friends are going to die but he’s realized there’s nothing he can do about it.

Bring Him Home is SUCH a hard song to sing and it’s actually really interesting in this version, I think. Because in traditional shows I think Valjean is played as a fairly calm person who is just always calm. Joshi plays his Valjean like he has taught himself to be calm, but inside he’s still kind of angry and traumatized and still has those instincts and still doesn’t quite know whether to believe in god or not, or something like that. So Bring Him Home is a moment where it seems like at first he’s just hoping, and then by the end of the song he’s genuinely imploring god to save Marius. Like it’s the first time he’s ever really begged a higher power to do something instead of just acting of his own power to make the good happen. I have no idea if I’m articulating myself well.

Again, Campione is a FANTASTIC Enjolras who plays him like a stressed out passionate leader who is constantly stuck between This Is Finally Real Hooray and Holy Shit This Is Too Fucking Real Oh God. In The Second Attack he portrays it really well, looking around at all the people he suddenly feels responsible for, body language like he’s trying to make too many split-second decisions. It’s just really good.

Death Of Gavroche is also great because even though this Gavroche is not the best singer, he gets shot once and keeps reaching for the bullets, and only stops when they riddle him with bullets. Also, I didn’t realize this until skipping around in the video to write this, but I think they kind of tried to retain some of the Gavroche-Grantaire relationship that the US Tour established? Grantaire goes from being kinda listless stage left to bolting over to the barricade once Gavroche starts climbing, reaching for him desperately; he gets shot in the leg and goes down and spends the rest of Gavroche’s lines up to his death with his head in his hands. Once Gavroche dies, Enjolras actually checks on Grantaire and wraps a tourniquet around his leg while Feuilly and Marius tend to Gavroche’s body.

Marius gets a thigh injury during The Final Battle (we know this because this production shows Actual Blood! Gavroche is actually bleeding! Eponine, too! And Marius! And Enjolras! Like there’s actual red and it makes it so much more intense! Anyway, Marius gets a bullet to the thigh, which frankly I think makes a lot more sense than the shoulder injury he gets in canon at least in terms of him being unconscious for so long (although I guess in canon he also has at least one head injury so meh). Anyway, Valjean sees it and immediately tourniquets him as one by one all the revolutionaries are picked off by bullets.

This Enjolras death is my favorite I’ve ever seen. We don’t get a permets-tu scene, but that’s okay because this is fantastic in another way. Enjolras doesn’t die on the barricade.

Enjolras is standing center stage, the bodies of his friends around him. He’s shot once, in the stomach, and goes down on all fours. As he’s on the floor, SWAT cops surround him, pointing machine guns straight at him. Enjolras struggles up, standing, and faces the cops and the audience. He raises his hand in a defiant fist to the air and is shot in the head.

Then there is a long, long stretch of silence. Quite literally an entire minute (I just counted) of silence, where there is no music, no speaking, nothing. Just the sounds of SWAT walking around, checking the bodies on the floor, and the indistinct sound of walky-talky chatter. Only after a whole minute of silence has passed and the SWAT leave the stage do the little plucked notes and the clarinet playing the Bring Him Home instrumental begin as Valjean stands up.

Valjean actually goes over and checks Enjolras’ pulse to see if he could possibly be alive, which I think hurts A Lot. And then there’s a moment where he looks around at all the bodies on the floor and kind of doubles over in shock, but only for a moment, and then he’s bolting back over to Marius to make sure he’s still breathing and then heaving him up into his arms.

(By the way, the bodies of the revolutionaries remain onstage through all of the proceeding songs.)

Dog Eat Dog is a boring, crap song in every production, and this one is no exception. The guy playing Thenardier is quite good but there’s really no way to redeem how boring a song Dog Eat Dog is. Also, this version cuts out the long instrumental part of Valjean walking with Marius through the sewer due to the fact that they don’t have that crazy projection thing. Instead it’s just a few seconds of him dragging Marius before encountering Thenardier and then also a few seconds before encountering Javert. Also, Valjean straight up puts his chest against Javert’s gun while he’s asking to save Marius’ life. Brave as fuck.

Okay this Javert’s Suicide was mostly really really good. Edward Watts gives Javert this sort of frantic emotion that Valjean spared him on the barricade and then is only asking to save this stranger. He looks genuinely freaked out and distressed. It’s not just confusion, it’s like actual Freaking Out. The only part I didn’t like was the actual throwing himself off the bridge part, but honestly I feel like there really is no way to do that part in a way that isn’t a little ridiculous-seeming. It’s hard to have a show where they never had any sort of fly rigs or any special types of practical effects at all and then suddenly there’s a guy flying through the air? and take that seriously. I dunno. But in any case, the rest of it is really good because the frantic confusion and questioning and anger and sadness and everything is so well done. Also, he takes his cross out of his pocket and drops it on the ground before he jumps, like he believes even god has failed him.

And then the lights return and the bodies of the revolutionaries are still onstage, with police tape cordoning them off. Turning begins with women in black mourning clothes coming onstage: at first they stand behind the tape with candles and flowers and teddy bears, then someone breaks the tape and they move to sit beside the bodies and set flowers down beside them. As Turning is going on, as the women move to sit beside the bodies, Marius also enters and sits in a chair upstage.

So Empty Chairs At Empty Tables happens with the bodies of the revolutionaries lying on the floor right in front of Marius, and women in black kneeling beside the bodies, facing upstage. But as Marius sings “Phantom faces at the window, phantom shadows on the floor,” the revolutionaries rise and move downstage, looking at him. They all make their little group hand sign before exiting, until it’s just Enjolras looking at him, then he makes the sign as well and exits and Marius is left alone with the mourning women in front of him and his hand raised in farewell. It’s just SO GOOD because I think it makes it all the more real. It feels like he’s actually singing to the bodies of his friends as well as their memories, like he’s full of survivor’s guilt and he’s watching them walk away from him and doesn’t know what to do. Combining the Turning Women’s mourning with Marius’ mourning is really cool, because it shows it’s really not just Marius that’s affected by this, and essentially he’s singing Empty Chairs for himself as well as the women in mourning kneeling on the stage before him.

Side note: Dorcas Leung, who plays Cosette, is a True Fucking Soprano. Her voice is SO high. It’s wild. Like, really wild. Like, glass-breaking high but in a good way. Also she’s really cute.

Anyway, the next thing I took note of was Valjean telling Marius why he was leaving without telling Cosette goodbye. He sings “Promise me, Monsieur, Cosette will never know” and puts his hand out in a way that’s partially imploring, and partially asking for a handshake on the promise. Marius says “For the sake of Cosette, it must be so,” but pointedly does not shake his hand. He’s going to honor the promise but he’s not gonna fucking like it.

Wedding Chorale/Beggars At The Feast is mostly unremarkable except that Mme Thenardier is dressed like Cruella de Ville. Oh, and Thenardier gets a kick in the balls instead of a punch to the face from Marius. Also the actor who played Combeferre and the actor who played Bossuet are dancing together so during Beggars At The Feast when Thenardier sings “This one’s a queer, but what can you do?”, the Combeferre actor does a little wave.

I’ve always hated in the musical that Valjean goes from being perfectly healthy to straight up dying in a matter of minutes but I also understand that montages of like a year are hard to do in musical format, so I forgive it but it’s still annoying.

Anyway, this Epilogue is FUCKING FANTASTIC. Valjean does this beautiful laugh of relief and amazement when Fantine tells him “And you will be with god” like he’s still amazed after all these years that he’s a Good Person Who Deserves Heaven.

Also, Fantine sits down on the bench beside Valjean, and then when Marius and Cosette enters, Cosette runs and sits down between Valjean and Fantine, facing Valjean, and there’s a moment where Fantine smiles in disbelief and strokes Cosette’s hair like “oh my god this is my daughter!”

Finally, the fucking kicker for me: “Take my hand, I’ll lead you to salvation / Take my love, for love is everlasting.” That’s always the moment in the show when I start actually crying and this one made it even sadder: Eponine is not the only one to enter in that moment. Eponine enters singing the duet with Fantine like usual, but Enjolras and Gavroche also enter, standing behind her, not singing.

This was such a great, fascinating, unique decision, and I fucking loved it. Because with that group, you have all the types of love and belief that are Important in the Brick: Fantine, the love of a mother. Valjean, the love of a father and the faith and belief that comes from someone else suddenly believing in you and the goodness that is a result of that. Marius and Cosette, romantic love, but also love of children and chosen family. Eponine, unrequited love and sacrifice. Gavroche, not necessarily love but an innocent death, a death from the goodness that comes from wanting to help. And Enjolras, the love of the people, the belief in the people, love of patria and the belief in justice. Just all of these important symbols standing together.

Then Do You Hear The People Sing reprise starts up, and the rest of the cast enter and stand at the edges of the stage around the group at center before everyone scatters out and spreads across the stage.

So basically that was an incredible fucking show. Like, okay. Since joining the Les Mis fandom in late 2011-ish or something I've read A LOT of Les Mis fanfics, I've read the entire book, seen the show live half a dozen times plus a ton of filmed boots and movie adaptations and last year's BBC miniseries. I've got a Les Mis tattoo and I'm vaguely thinking of getting another one. I've read fanfic taking place in canon era, modern day, Mai 1968, the 90s, the 40s, and on and on. All of them are important because all of them interpret the themes differently. Basically what I'm saying is I've consumed A Lot of Les Miserables.

But this version of Les Mis is So Important. Like, it's important enough I'm really surprised they didn't give in to the call for a DVD recording back in 2014.

Because the difference between like, the traditional version of the show, and reading a modern day AU fanfiction, and this Dallas show is that this Dallas show is In Front Of You. It's important because you're used to seeing this show with 19th century clothes and 19th century mannerisms so you don't necessarily connect it to today, or you do on a surface level only.

And in fanfics you can imagine it, but it's not the same.

But this show takes the music we all know and the characters we all know and places it in front of us NOW. We get Valjean in an orange jumpsuit, posturing like we've seen people posture in real life. We get Enjolras in a denim vest and button pins. We get Fantine, a woman of color, being fired for having a child out of wedlock and being accused of prostitution, and having to actually turn to prostitution. And we get a depiction that shows so viscerally how horrible that is. We get white people as cops (SWAT, no less) while POC are abused.

Suddenly this is a show that connects on every level.

And not only that but the visuals of the actual rebellion can be connected to so many movements and protests and things that have happened in recent years. Like with the Toyi-Toyi. And all the signs and pins and face paint and weapons and clothes and even to some extent the barricade.

And the cops going from soldiers with bayonets (which, to be fair, back in the day were pretty daunting weapons with their triangular blades, but we don't see them that way) to SWAT with helmets that black out their faces and semi-automatics is a a hard-hitting message.

And I've always thought it was funny that people who see the show casually think it's about Marius & Cosette's romance. Because that’s not all it’s about, of course. But this version made me really, really realize how little that romance matters in the musical. How much the musical is about Valjean, and then in tandem about the rebellion. Because place the whole "I've known you a day and I'm in love" thing in a modern setting and you realize how ridiculous it is, and how much more important Valjean's growth is, and how much more important the movement and the rebellion is. I mean the entire book is just about the Power Of Love And Belief In All Its Forms etc etc. But I think this version pointed out better than any other how many other forms of love exist in this story, besides the romance of Marius and Cosette.

But truly I think the most important thing that this show did is what I mentioned earlier: it placed the story, its themes, its characters, its rebellion, it's Love and Belief, in the Here And Now, and made it really, truly connect with its audience and the present world. This is a show that people always say is so relevant, so important, and it is. It really is. But sometimes, for a casual viewer, it’s hard to see past the period costumes and sets. And then you transplant the show into modern dress and modern sets and suddenly it’s a story that is just as believable and hard-hitting and important now as it was then. Suddenly you can connect with these characters and you can see these things happening in real life, in present day, and you can believe that it would happen.

It just blows my mind that we have all these Modern AU fanfiction pieces, that we have multiple groups of people doing Modern Les Mis Youtube interpretations, that there’s a Spanish musical out there that’s purely about Grantaire (which, god I wish there was more info on!), that there’s a ton of music and TV adaptations and yet this is the first time I’ve seen a professional company do any sort of modern interpretation of the show. And it works SO incredibly well and is SO hard-hitting and just took my breath away.

Uh so yeah such massive praise to the Dallas Theater Center for having the courage and imagination and awesomeness to finally do a modern version of this story because they knocked it out of the damn park and made an already important story even more important.

#les miserables #les mis #dallas les mis #dallas les miserables #dallas theater center #dallas theater center les miserables #les mis dallas #les miserables meta #les mis meta

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putschki1969 · 5 years ago

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Favourite and least favourite kalafina songs?

Oh boy! Questions like this are always so hard for me. I have no trouble listing my faves but when it comes to my “least favourite songs” it’s a real struggle for me.Those who have known me for a while are probably aware that I am not the hating type. Haters are usually quick to provide a list of all the songs they consider to be “garbage”. But it’s not that easy for me. There might be songs I dislike but there is not a single piece of music by Kalafina that I outright “hate”. I don’t have it within myself to hate or bash something that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru hold dear to their heart.

Having said that, there are a few pieces that I tend to skip whenever I listen to an album or watch a live performances. So I guess those will be the songs that make up my “least favourite list”. Typically what bothers me will be their “singing-style” (too high, too screechy, too thin/too breathy). Then there are songs that just lack a certain harmony, they sound disjointed to my ears. I don’t know what it is but it keeps me from fully enjoying the music. Last but not least there are songs that have just never managed to touch me on an emotional level. Maybe it’s because I haven’t listened to them often enough, not sure…

Please keep in mind that I do have a weird taste and more often than not my opinions do not align with the overall consensus in the fandom so some of my picks might come as a surprise to you. Without further ado, let’s get started 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

youtube

Top 10 least favourite Kalafina songs (in chronological order)

Love Come Down (aside from not really liking the general sound of the song, I am not a fan of Hikaru’s singing style. Not very flattering and a tad too squeeky…Keiko’s cutesy singing doesn’t help)

in your eyes (in your eyes suffers from the same problem as Love Come Down but at least here I don’t mind the chorus and of course I appreciate the nature of the lyrics. If it weren’t for those lyrics we wouldn’t get all those sexy interactions on stage. But yeah, generally speaking, I don’t go out of my way to listen to this song)

to the beginning (this was probably their first “mainstream” anisong and incidentally it is among my least favourite. There are few Kalafina songs that get the audience as hyped as this one so I know I am pretty much alone with my opinion but yeah, this song doesn’t do much for me unfortunately…I never watched the anime so maybe that’s why)

signal (I know this is a fan favourite but for me this song is just too chaotic. I prefer my songs to follow a certain structure…also not a fan of the accordion…I do however love the drums in the beginning and Hikaru’s general badassery)

misterioso (I wouldn’t go as far as to call this song chaotic but it’s certainly lacking some sort of overreaching harmony. It just feels a little disjointed during certain parts, at least to me)

lapis (sorry Keiko, I wanna like it but I can’t. Something is missing, it’s a bit boring I guess…which is really surprising to me since I am a huge sucker for ballads. I am usually the one who is into all sorts of ballads [e.g.Hokage] which tend to be written off as boring by the rest of the fanbase)

ring your bell (I would probably like this song more if YK had written it differently. Right now it’s just too fast/difficult/high and neither Wakana nor Hikaru can manage those notes without sounding screechy. For the most part YK knew how to use their voices to create amazing music but occasionally I wonder what went through her head when she decided to have the girls sing in a certain way…it’s not flattering at all…on a brighter note,I do love the bridge!)

monochrome (the accordion again…and more chaos….you can see a pattern, right? There is a type of song that I really do not enjoy…which leads me right to the next song on my list…)

Musunde Hiraku (I wanna love it so bad because Wakana in particular loves this song so much. But unfortunately I can’t bring myself to like it. I don’t know what it is but for me it’s another one of those unsettling songs that feel kinda all over the place. I also just noticed that a lot of the songs I dislike have one thing in common, they don’t have a proper build-up, they start rather boldy and sudden, it almost sounds random. Not sure how to explain it but it applies to misterioso, signal, monochrome and Musunde Hiraku)

blaze (this doesn’t really deserve to be on the list since I don’t think it’s any worse than let’s say heavenly blue or One Light which I both like a lot. However, I haven’t been able to connect with the song at all ever since it was released. I think it’s mainly because I have never seen it performed live. Yes, I have watched footage but I have never actually been there for one of the performances. Plus, I think the song just doesn’t get enough attention from me. I am sure if I listened to it more often I would start appreciating it. It’s really not a bad song)

Top 10 favourite Kalafina songs (in chronological order)

Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku (does this even need any explanation? I think we all know that this is my all-time favourite Kala-song. I even plan to get a tattoo of parts of the lyrics one day…there are no words to describe the love I have for this song. Forever grateful that they sang it at their 10th Anniversary Live and that I got to hear Wakana perform the acoustic version at her symphony concert)

ARIA (it is without a doubt one of their best songs and it made me fall in love with Hikaru so for me it’s all the more special. Unlike most people, I actually prefer the “new” version of ARIA because there is just more emotion behind it. They really nailed it at their 10th Anniversary Live. Personally I like to use ARIA to introduce Kalafina to other people. It’s a great introduction song)

Natsu no Ringo (I don’t know the exact moment but at one point I realised how very much I love this song. It happened without me noticing. Don’t get me wrong, I always liked it but I never really considered it to be among my favourite songs. But throughout the years, I started listening to it more and more. Turns out that right now this is actually among my most-listened-to tracks on my playlist. Who would have thought…?)

red moon (duh…one of Kalafina’s most epic songs. How can it not be on this list? There is a reason it is loved by so many people and why they performed it at pretty much all of their lives. If there is one song that’s representative of the awesomeness that is Kalafina then it is “red moon”)

Magia (another epic song and one more example of why I love Hikaru. I know, I tend to favour Wakana and Keiko most of the time, I guess that boils down to personal taste. However, I have just as much love for Hikaru because with songs like this she manages to touch my heart with her passion and emotional delivery)

Yane no Mukou ni (just like Natsu no Ringo, this song snuck up on me. I always liked it but until recently I had no idea how much I actually loved it. Seems like I have a huge weakness for summer ballads)

Hikari Furu (the singing, the harmonies, the melody, the lyrics, this is a perfect ballad. A perfect song. Wakana is killing it in all the more recent performances. And I can never get enough of Keiko’s “mabushii asa”)

Tsuioku (instant love. When it first got released I listened to nothing but this song. All day long. It’s forever stuck in my head and I love it to death)

Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yuugure no (do I even have to say anything? Amazing harmonies, so much epicness. Seeing this live was life-changing)

Hokage (this must seem like the most random choice to a majority of the fandom. It’s one of those ballads that never got a lot of love because it’s apparently too much like all the previous Kalafina ballads but not as good as them. I beg to differ. There is something about Hokage that strikes me on a very emotional level. Not so much the lyrics because those are not all too special. It’s the melody that makes this song stand out to me. Then there’s Wakana’s singing and Keikio’s lower harmonies…absolutely divine. Last but not least, that combination of the piano and cello! I could listen to this song every day and not get tired of it. I agree that Hokage sounds a lot like some of their older songs [e.g. sapphire] and I honestly enjoy them all equally but for some reason Hokage has a special place in my heart)

Honourable mentions

sprinter (it’s no secret, I have never liked the regular version. A few years back this might as well have been part of my least favourite list. But when I watched their Arena Live acoustic version, I had an epiphany. Ever since then I can’t get enough of this song. It’s a tragic ballad at its heart but the up-beat nature of the original version managed to trick me into believing that it was something entirely different. It was my own fault for not looking up the lyrics sooner. Back in the day when I first listened to “sprinter” I didn’t know any Japanese and later on I always skipped the song…so yeah, it took me ages to appreciate the song and I definitely prefer the acoustic version so I thought I shouldn’t mention it in either of my lists)

Kagayaku Sora no Shijima ni Wa (this was my very first Kalafina song that immediately made me fall in love with them. It has a special place in my heart and I can never get enough of it but there are just other that I love more so it didn’t manage to get into my top 10)

We Wish You A Merry Christmas (since this is a cover I feel like it doesn’t really count but there is no way I cannot mention it because I absolutely ADORE this song. It has become my all-time favourite Christmas song and I am listening to it literally every season of the year)

Hyakka Ryouran (this is by far my favourite among their more “generic” anime theme songs but I might be a bit biased since it’s the only one where I provided a translation of the lyrics so I thought it would be best to list it here as part of my honourable mentions. Unlike most fans I do like a fair share of their mainstream anisongs. I actually love “heavenly blue” as well as “One Light”. And if it weren’t for Wakana’s strained singing style I would be all over “believe” because I really like the melody.)

#kalafina #reply #wakana #keiko #hikaru #favourite songs #least favourite songs #Anonymous

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fresh-outta-jams · 6 years ago

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Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Part 9

Namjoon x Reader Author: Admin Mo Summary: You’re in college when your soulmate tattoo arrives, an address. Sending a letter couldn’t hurt, right? Note: Super sorry it’s been so long since my last update. Morgan and Morgan and I just got settled back into school with our new classes and everything, so I should have more time now that I have everything figured out. Warnings: Some swearing, soulmate fluff Word Count: 1.8k

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, Epilogue

Your new film classes were kicking your ass. Most of them were three hours long, so one of your greatest challenges in them was not falling asleep at eight in the morning or late at night. Your...distractions the previous semester had prevented you from signing up for your classes on time and therefore, you had the worst schedule on the face of the planet. You woke up too early, got home too late, and barely had time for naps in the middle. However, you did have a window for talking to Namjoon, which was about all you could ask for.

Somehow, it seemed like he got hotter every single day. You more than dreamed about him now; his face floated around your thoughts during your classes, his voice filtered through your earbuds as you walked around the snowy campus. It definitely soothed your pain at least a little bit, that and getting to see your face every time you unlocked your phone or got a call from him. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled breathed the life back into the very drained half of your shared soul.

“Baby.” Namjoon waved his hand to snag your attention. Your mind had been wandering again. “You okay? You seem sort of distracted today.”

“I’m fine, Joon. Exhausted, but fine. What were you saying?”

“I asked you how our Sims are doing.”

You burst out laughing. When you had talked to him a few weeks prior, you’d made the mistake of mentioning the Sims game you’d been plugging away at, creating a perfect little life with your soulmate. Luckily for you, there were several talented Simmers who had uploaded their own Namjoons to the Gallery, so you could just download one that looked pretty close to the real thing. (Even closer with a dimple mod.)

“Joon is a scientist now.”

“A scientist? I thought he was an actor.”

“Well, he was, but I want to try to contact the aliens.”

“Ah. Understood. How are our kids?”

“They’re doing great. Added some new rooms on the house, got them a bigger TV, and I’m thinking about putting in a pool, but considering that they’re vampires, maybe that’s not the best idea…”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head at the absurdity of the little world you had crafted. “Yeah, maybe not, then.”

“Oh!” You blurted, sitting up straighter as you remembered what had been on your mind. “I have a bone to pick with you.”

Immediately, his eyes widened and his face reddened. Whatever this was, he had a feeling it wouldn’t be good. But then again, he couldn’t remember doing anything that would upset you. “U-um, jagi-”

“Uh-uh, don’t you ‘um, jagi’ me. You have no right. You have NO RIGHT...to go around looking this fine, what the hell, Namjoon. Your hair? So fine. Your face? SO FINE. How am I supposed to keep the girls off of you at this rate?”

“Jeez, you scared me. I thought something was wrong.”

“Also, don’t think I don’t see you lurking on my Twitter, you creep.” You laughed, causing his face to flush an even deeper red. “I have like twenty followers total, so someone with the username ‘rm_fan_94’ is going to raise some eyebrows.”

“Is it my fault you ReTweet all of the BTS Tweets gushing about how handsome you think I am? Sometimes a guy needs a little confidence boost from his beautiful girlfriend.”

That was new. You couldn’t remember him ever using THAT word before…

“Did I say something wrong?”

“N-no, you just, uh, caught me off-guard is all.” You coughed, cheeks burning probably the brightest red they’d ever glowed before. “Can I get that one more time?”

“What, ‘girlfriend’?” Namjoon smirked softly, his dimples prominent. “Well, that is what you are, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You exhaled a sigh, something warm settling over your heart. “God, I really am, aren’t I?

“Shit, I never asked, did I? That’s a thing in the states, right? I’m supposed to ask you to be my girlfriend?”

“Well, I mean sometimes that’s how it goes, but not always.”

“(Y/N),” he suddenly got very mock-serious, “will you be my girlfriend?”

“Let me think about it.” You laughed. He pretended to wait with bated breath as you ‘thought about’ your answer to his very important world-changing question. “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Awesome.” He smiled. Namjoon was about to say something else before he was interrupted by someone walking into his and Tae’s room.

“Namjoon-ah, breakfast.” You recognized Hoseok’s voice as he entered, his face lighting up when he caught sight of what their fearless leader was doing. “(Y/N)!!”

“Hi Hobi!” You waved excitedly, hyped to finally meet him after watching him in videos for so long. “Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too!”

“I’ll be out in a sec, alright?” Namjoon told him in Korean. Hoseok nodded and then waved one last time before leaving the way he came. He looked back at you and sighed, torn. Obviously, they were all really busy working on their next comeback, even though they were still coming back down to earth after the Christmas/New Year’s Eve rush. You knew time was tight, but you always ached when it was time to say goodbye. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You blew him a kiss, and then he was gone, leaving you waiting for the next time you would get to see his beautiful face.

***

“Dear Namjoon,

I read your book. Cover to cover. Well, I guess because it was in digital format, from the top of the Doc to the bottom of it. And let me just say I am blown away. I’ve known you’re a good writer. You write the best letters ever, and also you literally write lyrics for a living, so obviously you’re good, but this was so much different than any of your songs in the best possible way. There’s so much character, so many heartfelt moments, but it’s also funny and lighthearted and then it tugs at your heartstrings. I ended up crying three times while I read it.

That said, there were a few phrasing things I noticed, and a few typos, but I think you’re way more fluent than you realize. I usually end up with waaaaay more mistakes in my NaNo books than you have in yours. I marked the ones I caught in pink and left some comments.

These new classes are killing me. My film analysis is boring and we have a pretty heavy workload. Not to mention it’s like three hours long. Draining isn’t the word. However, it’s not all bad. I still go to the K-Pop club and learn new things about you and the guys from all of my K-Pop-loving friends. One of them got me a Koya sleep mask for Christmas! They all know I’m super whipped for you (but they don’t know why, no worries!).

Did I tell you I have Moonchild set to my wake up alarm? Ironic, I know, but it’s my favorite song on Mono. You probably know that. I probably told you that. I don’t remember. I’ve kind of had a lot on my mind recently. I’m seriously counting down the days to spring break. My brain hurts so much, but hearing your voice and talking to you and looking at your face makes it a little bit better.

I love you so much,

-(Y/N)”

*** Namjoon had a plan. Granted, it wasn’t a very solid plan; he didn’t have all of the details worked out, nor anything scheduled, nor had he even asked permission yet. But, it was a plan no less.

Over the past few weeks, in your ongoing letter correspondence back and forth to each other, Namjoon had been collecting details, thinking through logistics, and going around to the camera crew and asking them some questions figuring that they of all people would have the answers to them. And for the most part, they did, and they were all very friendly and nice to talk to. Based on the conversations he’d had with them, it seemed like Part 1 of his plan would work out just fine. That left him to figure out parts 2 and 3.

Part 2, he figured, would be the second-easiest thing to accomplish. Actually, maybe the easiest, considering that Part 1 had required some digging and research. Whereas with Part 2, it was only the idea of it that was scaring him. In theory, actually pulling through with it would be easy.

So, once he had scraped together as much courage as he could manage, he went to the office of none other than Hitman Bang and knocked on the door.

***

“Dear (Y/N),

I’m sorry to hear your classes are so rough. I wish I could make it better. Thinking about you in pain pulls at my heartstrings in more ways than one. I really, really wish I could be there to comfort you somehow, but even then, I don’t think I would know how to fix the problem aside from supporting you and encouraging you to keep going because you’re almost there. Just a little longer and it’ll all be worth it.

As for my book...I’m super, super glad you liked it. Part of me was really afraid it maybe wasn’t as good as I hoped it was. We all have a tendency to look down on our own work, I guess, and sometimes we’re blind to our own mistakes. Thank you for helping out with mine, though. It means so, so much to me that you took the time out of your busy schedule to look over it and give me feedback. I’m also very sorry I made you cry. Thinking about that hurts me inside too.

I’m glad you’re having fun in your K-Pop club and making new friends and learning things! Just know that if you ever want to know ANYTHING, I would be more than happy to tell you anything you want to know. Also, I’m really sorry you have to keep me a secret, at least for know. Just know it won’t be a secret forever. Someday, you won’t have to hide who I am. I just hope that ‘someday’ comes sooner than it seems to be coming.

You definitely did not tell me Moonchild is your wake up alarm. God, you don’t know how happy that makes me. I’m glad you like it so much. Again, I’m so sorry this semester has been rough on you so far. And I’m sorry I couldn’t kiss you on New Year’s Eve. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you on Christmas morning. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I’m sorry we’re so far away from each other. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get to you. I promise I will soon, though. As soon as I possibly can. Every minute I’m without you burns, and I know you feel it too.

I love you to the moon and back,

-Namjoon”

Tagged: @iie-wakarimasen, @ffantasylandd, @jooniefluff, @chimchimsauce, @mrs-saeyoung-choi, @theprinceoftheundead, @angyexoxo, @copenhagenspirit, @lovelylittlekittn, @lilgaga98, @iminlovewjjk, @feed-my-geek-soul, @loveandwitch, @recoveringflowerchild, @demonic-meatball, @maddieisaacs, @scissorsandtonfas, @carirosesg, @backtonormalthings, @local-mochi, @faliwi, @spoopyela, @nanie5, @ingenu--e, @undiscovered1personality, @andalos, @calspixie, @filtermono, @huhuehuey, @mikey-girl12, @lilliaflurr, @hypophrenium, @sitkafay, @spiicyari, @andeerwilson, @btswerewolfaus, @oyasumi7

#kpopwonderlandtag #armyofwriters #namjoon x reader #namjoon imagine #namjoon #rm #rm imagine #rm x reader #bts #bts imagine #soulmate au #bts soulmate au #signed sealed delivered

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tassium · 5 years ago

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#TAYLOR SWIFT APPRECIATION LIFE

PART 6 - reputation

(part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5)

Listen. This was by far the hardest review for me to get going into properly. I love every single track on this album without exception, and it was SO HARD for me to come up with coherent comments to make on all of them.

But I think I managed alright, and we’re finally about to embark on the wild ride that is @taylorswift‘s 6th studio album, reputation.

Hang on tight, and please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times.

1. ...Ready For It?

No, Taylor, none of us were ready for this, not even a little bit.

Can we just talk about that introduction? like. What a way to kick off an album. This track grabs you by the hand and just pulls you along for the ride, like “get in losers”. That little throat clear at the beginning! the beat that drops off and lets her voice go all light and ethereal! This song is a wild ride from start to finish, and I love it. “Let the games begin” indeed.

And that MUSIC VIDEO!!! I want the rest of that movie, please.

I made a reaction video to this track/video and if you wanna check it out, click here

2. End Game

I love the synths at the beginning of this song, but I’ll be honest that Future’s verse took some time to grow on me. Ed’s verse and Taylor’s on the other hand? Boy. Those grabbed me from the start, as did the harmonies that are laced all through this track.

Is it just me or was this the first time she used the word enemies for the people she’s clashed with? I feel like that’s a new thing.

I also reacted to this one when the video dropped, click here to watch

3. I Did Something Bad

Okay so first and foremost. Taylor Alison Swift, in the year of our lord 2017, swearing on a track out there in front of god and everybody. I feel like if there was any remaining ‘oh she’s just a sweet young thing’ attitude from anyone, this album shattered it to pieces in the best way.

The production on this track, I can’t even. This is an explosive track, it just hits you like a train and drags you along for the ride. There’s a bit on the way out of the track where she says “I did something bad” in a straight spoken voice and it is. Too much for this weak swiftie!

4. Don’t Blame Me

This sacrilegious hymn of a track. I swear. That almost broken electronic wavering synth behind the chorus. The choir effect on her voice. The stripped down beat-driven verse. The lyrics in general? My dude. I can’t. Also anyone who still thinks she has no range can physically fight me after that note after the bridge. That’s power is what that is.

Also can we talk about that behind the scenes clip of her filming the angry distant vocals for the chorus? I’m weak.

5. Delicate

Another thing I’m weak for is use of vocoder. And that beat that comes in for the verse! AND THAT LITTLE ‘delicate’ IN THE CHORUS!! kills me every single time. I’ll be honest here and say that the video for Delicate didn’t really grab me as much as some of the others, but the song itself certainly did.

Can we just. Talk for a second about how sad it is to think about that concept of ‘wow. you must really actually like me if you’re hanging around through all this mess.’

One of my favorite things in this track is the descending harmony behind “sometimes when I look into your eyes”. I always want to sing along with the harmony instead of the melody on that part because I find it so compelling.

6. Look What You Made Me Do

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN! that building drumline is absolutely gorgeous and I can’t not air drum to it - I don’t even play drums!

Also, yes, I am fully aware that I JUST SAID on the 1989 review that Out of the Woods was too repetitive for me, and here I am raving about this song which... honestly. Is just as repetitive if not more so. But this song just grabs me so much more and so instantly that I really get into the repetition (And maybe that has something to do with the familiarity because of the sampled melody).

That plinking lead line thing, and oh my god, the percussion on the second chorus. I can’t.

The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now CAUSE SHE’S DEAD. And I feel like with lover about to come out, maybe we’re killing off yet another “old taylor”

click here for my reaction video

7. So It Goes...

I read somewhere that the tracks with the ellipses on them mark out the edges of the “side A” part of the album, and it’s the spot where things shift over to a different feeling, and I believe it.

Again, this track has absolutely outstanding production on it, the softness dropping into the driving beats, and the bridge. Oh my god. I’m still not over that whispered “1 2 3″. And that line “i’m not a bad girl but I do bad things with you’ reminds me of blank space and that “I can make the bad guys good for a weekend” it’s like the inverse of it.

Also welcome to the first track on this album that I refuse to let my dad listen to - “scratches down your back” indeed t a y l o r

8. Gorgeous

Adorable baby voice!! This song is so great, I love it to pieces. I love the sort of bitter quality about it and the way she’s taken how tumblr and twitter fandom talks about celebrities and made it just a mainstream piece of her song.

Also is that a bell like the kind they put on counters to get the attention of the person working? because I can’t help but hit the bell (air bell!) when it comes in and that’s what I always picture when I do so.

I can’t come up with anything more coherent so .... guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats.... ;)

9. Getaway Car

More vocoder! I love. The wording in this song is so evocative and brings up such perfect, crisp mental images for me, and she applied that to perfect metaphors for the situation in question. I love the idea of how.... like. It’s a rebound relationship, right? but it’s the getaway car from the previous relationship. And really, you can’t be surprised when something like that doesn’t last as long.

Also that outro beat? Be still my heart!

10. King of My Heart

THIS SONG!!!! More gorgeous vocoder use, of course, but then also. So many little things about the lyrics that get me! “Salute to me, I’m your American queen” and “jag-u-ars” and the way she sings “luxury” and just!!! so much!

As for the musical side of things, I absolutely adore that really subtle acoustic guitar in the chorus, and the DRUMS in the post-chorus (or whatever you want to call that bit). They’re so full and almost feel-it-in-your-chest even just in headphones! (I’m still not sure I survived that concert)

11. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Early on I had a half-baked theory that this song is about John Mayer, but the timeline doesn’t work at all, so... definitely not. Still though, think about it. “slow dancing in a burning room”/”swaying as the room burned down”

That aside, though, this song makes me think of the Halsey track Bad at Love if ONLY because of the theme of melancholy looking back at relationships that felt doomed from the start (or didn’t, as the case may be, I don’t know)

But also just. Taylor’s vocal performance on this song. Those ‘ad libs’ in the background of the final chorus have so much power in them.

12. Dress

And here we have the other Taylor song I won’t let my dad listen to. He would be scandalized to death by this song.

I love that lyric about the golden tattoo. I can’t really explain what it is about that line that gets me so much.

More beautiful production - something about the tracks on this album feels so grand for lack of better word. Plus there’s that moment in this song “say my name and everything just STOPS” and the whole thing goes silent... I will never forget the feeling of that line coming out and the way the whole stadium went dark.

13. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Ahhhhh I love this song. Gotta love a nice sassy Taylor style clapback, right? Beautiful.

“Feeling so Gatsby” is the best line for getting her point across. You don’t even have to be particularly familiar with the work that references, it just brings the opulence to mind effortlessly.

That laugh in the bridge though, and the tumbling low piano crash afterward, I love it so much. Again to reference the tour, it was such a great extended moment of laughter. So great.

14. Call It What You Want

This... Is probably my favorite track on the album, if I were pressed to name one. I adore this song so completely. I still get just emotionally overcome if I take the time to really pay attention to this song when it comes on. I love it so much, and it’s such a beautiful hopeful song. Like, yeah, my life’s been a right mess but it’s better now with you in it, and just.... this song fills me with feelings like that one animation in the lizzie mcguire movie. 90s kids, you know the one I mean. (lover, the song, gives me those same feelings, just amplified like 30x)

The smile in her voice on “yes” can almost bring me to tears all by itself.

my reaction video can be found here

15. New Year’s Day

Speaking of beautiful mushy-feelings-bringing tracks... The fact that these two are paired back to back like this is just bringing both barrels to my emotions. Gosh.

At the show, I’d taken my shoes off literally two songs prior - I was the girl carrying her shoes in the lobby.

I love so much that it’s just her with a piano and then a little bit of guitar, and those soft self-harmonies on some parts - “please don’t ever become a stranger” reminds me of Enchanted.

This song will without fail make me cry because it’s just so soft and I’m so happy for her. I can’t believe how long it’s been and she’s so happy and in love and. Even when this song came out. Gosh.

We did it, yall. We’ve made it up to date, and it’s almost time for Lover to come out! I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready. My emotions aren’t ready. Gosh.

Anyway, thanks for coming along with me on this ride. See you on the other side of the release!

#taylor swift #reputation #album review #Taylor Swift Appreciation Life #Our Lady and Savior Taylor Swift

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ghost-btch · 6 years ago

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He Could Be The One~ 5 Seconds Of Summer

(Chapter One: Phoenix)

Prologue was posted right before this on my blog. I would link it but I'm scared it won't show up in the tags if I do.

Rating: literally for everyone lol

Warning: none besides the fact there may be grammatical errors, oops lol

Word Count: 1.6k

Author's note: You can read this also on wattpad, @/raineyC4. I may update quicker on there then here so go check it out on there aswell. This is my first Tumblr Fanfic so this is quite exciting, though I've been making stories on wattpad since 2016. Anyways enjoy the story!!

*******************************************

3rd Person P.O.V

The blue-eyed blonde singer stood right off stage. Her show would start in a few minutes. She was incredibly nervous, like always. She's done this for years but the anxiety is always there. But as clique as it sounds, every time she steps on stage that feeling fades away. She shook herself and prepared to walk on. Then before she knew it, it was her que to walk on.

The big screen on the back "wall" was flashing in black and white, then red "Phoenix". It glitching as it did so to the beat of the song.

That song was ...Ready For It? by Taylor Swift. Phoenix only had about 10 songs of her own out so she did a lot of covers.

"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him..." Phoenix began to sing trying not to smile to create an effect.

As she sang she danced around the "T" shaped stage to the song. It seemed be choreographed but really she just made them up as she went. She was a true performer.

She wore a black body suite much like Taylor Swift wore during her preformce of the song. But it had more of shorts at the bottom. And it had a few red sparkles. Her hair was slightly curled and she wore crimson red lipstick. Her reddish boots went up to her knees.

When the song came to an end the next song, I Did Something Bad, started to play.

Phoenix loved to preform this song more then even her own songs. She had managed to learn Taylor Swift's original choreography to the song from watching the AMAs preformce over and over again. It was a dramatic performance and Phoenix loved it for that exact reason.

When she finished she was at the very end if the "T" stage in the middle. She laughed and smiled like an idiot looking over the crowd. And starring back at her where around what seemed a thousand people.

"Oh my God! I can't- I can't believe this is my life! Y'all have no idea how much I've dreamed and wished for the chance to do this. I love each and every one of y'all for being here. Whether you wanted to, weather you were bored and went to the nearest concert just because, or you were dragged here by someone else. Just thank you and I hope you guys like the show so far! You seem to be, but are you?" the crowd screamed, "Okay I'm gonna take that as a yes. Anyways she next song's called 'Don't Blame Me' and oh I'm Phoenix!" Phoenix said into the mic.

****

When the song finished she was back in the place she started. A trap "door" under her lowered her to under the stage. There she had to quickly change into the next costume while the ending music of "Don't Blame Me" played to the crowd.

While this happened a red piano was rolled out onto the stage. Phoenix walked out wearing a red sequined top with a red skirt that went to her knees.

She sat down on the little bench and started to play a few keys, "So this I wrote a while back when I was in middle school. I had this friend who I'd geek out with. Eventually I realized I liked him. After awhile I couldn't take it anymore and told him in a note that I practically threw at him out of nerves," she laughed at this, "Then after about a week he gave me a small piece of paper that read 'sorry I just want to be friends'. I was devastated of course, but I just hoped nothing would change. Oh how I was wrong. He never spoke to me again. Here's a song I wrote about a year later."

She proceeded to sing a song called "Let Things Go". It was written so long ago, and she was definitely, definitely, over the kid. But she every time she sang it she felt as if it was a new scar. 'Guess scars don't really ever go away?' She thought one day.

As soon as it finished she started to play another Taylor song, The Moment I Knew.

It of course started on the piano, but when it came to the chorus she stood up. And after the chorus she walked around the stage almost acting out the lyrics.

During the bridge Phoenix looked out into the crowd almost crying as the lyrics said it too.

As it finished ahead gave a soft smile. Just two years ago in her 20th birthday this song became so real for her. She wasn't quite over this scar yet.

She walked back to the piano and when she walked out from behind it she was no longer wearing the skirt, but now a pair of black shorts.

She then jumped up onto the piano and sat on it, her legs dangling off. The music of We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together started to play.

She began singing while still sitting until the "What?" part and acted out the song the rest of the song. Phoenix always had the most fun singing this song, it never got old. And by the end she was sat back on the piano.

"Liked that little costume changed?" Phoenix laughed as the crowd cheered.

She hoped off the piano, "So I was wondering if it was okay for me to do a little something different now? I won't be able to run around though, so there's a negative. But I really think you're gonna lie the positive! Just give me a second, I'll be right back."

She scampered off stage and when she walked back on she held a red guitar in her hands. She walked up to the microphone stand in the middle of the stage right before it extended out.

"So uhh, surprise!" Phoenix said into the mic smiling.

"So how about I play my guitar here for a few songs? I'll take that as a yes. So this first one is an old one. It's from an old Disney show called Hannah Montana. It was definitely my favorite TV show and this was one if my favorite songs. Never thought that eventually I'd laugh at a few lyrics because of someone. No I'm not saying who, though most of y'all probably already know. Anyways hears a song called 'He Could Be The One'!"

"Smooth talkin', so rockin'

He's got everything that a girl's wantin'

Guitar cutie, he plays it groovy

And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid..." she sang smiling at a few certain lyrics.

The girl completely jammed out to the song like there was no tomorrow. Running around in that one area when she wasn't singing. Yep definitely a performer.

"Well that was fun!" Phoenix laughed.

"Well I think it's time for one where I know y'all will have fun aswell." She said as she started to play "She's Kinda Hot" by 5 Seconds of Summer.

"Surprise!" She said right before singing.

But there was one thing that the girl had yet to find out. It was that, that very band stood only a few yards ahead of her.

The boys were just all hanging out in L.A. with nothing to do. Ashton suggest that they should just go to the nearest concert because why not? So they did. Now they stood towards the back kinda freaking out because someone was singing there song.

Then at the end of the song the music faded into "Babylon", another favorite of the blue-eyed singer.

The girl had so much fun playing this song and the audience loved it. Even the people who didn't know the original singers they still acted as if they did.

****

Phoenix changed into ripped back pants and a while shirt to sing the next few songs, all if which being her's.

Falling For You- a song revealed to be about fictional/celebrity crushes

Me- a song about her excepting who she really is

My Story- a song about her childhood and teenage years

We Don't Care About Anyone Else- a song she wrote about her friends and her, and the fact that they know they're weird but totally okay with that

After adding a leather jacket to the mix she also sang a song by Bea Miller called "We're Taking Over".

****

The last part of the concert was all the songs Phoenix felt was the funniest to sing/dance to.

Blank Space- making sure to point her tattoo of "Darling I'm A Nightmare, Dressed Like A Daydream" during that part.

New Romantics

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Then it came to almost a close:

"Well I'm sorry to say but this is the last song of the night. Thanks to all of you, you've made this a night to remember. And I hope that I was able to make you as happy as you've made me! This last song was my first single I put out. I've always been so proud of it and promised to sing it every show. It's about how my life was back in school, to what I'd hope my life would be, and now it really is. Oh and enjoy the original music video playing on the screen!" Phoenix smiled.

Phoenix danced around and sang like her life depended on it. She never wanted it to end. But unfortunately it did. When she finished she said "Thank you" once more and then ran around the perimeter of the stage to touch as may people's hands as she could. She did a bow and then waved with the biggest smile and went off stage.

~~~~

As the show came to a close the 5SOS boys decided to see if they could surprise the girl they just watch perform. But they had to figure out how to get back stage.

"We don't need another last time something like this happened." One said referring to a certain person.

"Hey!" was Ashton's response.

....

Tag list: @rip-lukes-balsamic @euphoric-swift //just comment if you'd like to be on my tag list//

A/N: try to guess who the person Phoenix likes hehe lol

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #luke 5sos #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #5sos stories #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos fandom #wattpad #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford

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grimelords · 6 years ago

Photo

I just realised I wrote up my June playlist and forgot to post it at all, which benefits no one. July coming soon, but for now please enjoy three hours of two month old thoughts on the new Kanye, the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack and two songs about drinking beer.

Ghost Town - Kanye West: Now that the dust has settled around Kanye's month of chaos I can safely say Ye is great and Ghost Town is the best song on it, though it's not a coincidence that the best song is the one where Kanye says the least.

DLZ - TV On The Radio: I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. The combination of the absolutely hypnotising drums and very good cryptic lyrics about impending doom is exactly my shit. Also the whistling right at the very end is a perfect moment.

Hyph Mngo - Joy Orbison: Someone had a thing on twitter the other day that was like 'quote tweet this with a phrase you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand' and someone said Hyph Mngo and I felt age 100. This song really was such a game changer and that whole wave of stuff like this, Koreless and Jame Blake's EP's around then was such an incredible time to be alive. I am aging decades by the second and will not be around much longer.

The Shootist - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson: I've been thinking about game soundtracks a lot the past month or so for some reason and Red Dead really is an all timer. They did such a great job capturing the whole feeling without it just being a straight Morricone rip-off (though obviously it is mostly a Morricone ripoff).

Touch Me - Wish & Fonda Rae: This song is so fucking good to begin with but then it gets really really good in the middle part and where they just start going hogwild with the sampler on her vocals, and then again at the end when it starts sounding like a Battles song.

In The Vespers - Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld: Ever since I finished MGSV again I've been thinking about open-world stealth as a genre and how I'd do it, and this song is really the perfect kind of soundtrack to the game I'm thinking of. It's already got four alert levels built in, all the way from Tense to FUCk and back down to Calming Down But Still Scared.

Human After All - Daft Punk: Human After All is still a beguiling album in sound and vision after all this time. The amount of noise emananating from every single element in this song, and songs like Technologic is just so strange compared to everything they'd done before and since, but I think that's what I like about it. It sounds like it was made in 1979 when electronics were a novelty and everyone accepted that they'd be noisy as hell. Also I had an emotional moment this month while I was driving and listening to this song and reflecting on how we are all, human.. after all.. so who knows what's up with me.

Disparate Youth - Santigold: The production on this song is insane. The drums, the guitar, the bouncing piano, it just has so much momentum the whole way through and holy shit I just realised that the video I was talking about last month that referenced The Holy Mountain that I couldn't remember is L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold what an incredible two for one.

Violence - Parquet Courts: This song has the potential to be embarrassing but it's saved from itself by the specificity of the lyrics and the backing vocals that sound like a smiling swing band saying 'violence is daily life!'.

Jane Says - Jane's Addiction: The steel drum as the central melody line in this is such a strange and beautiful choice and also this song has two chords and no chorus. There are truly one million ways to make a good song.

Heatstroke - Calvin Harris feat. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande: I really can't believe I missed this song that came out like a year ago, so thank god my girlfriend told me about it. It's incredible. Everyone is operating at full capacity in this song and the structure is so good, the Pharrell/Thug pre-chorus could be a chorus on its own but then Ariana and Pharrell trade lines foe the actual chorus, amazing. Also when Thugger says 'she got every read bottom like a baboon’ the way the backup says '..baboon' slightly apprehensively cracks me up.

Maximum Black - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: More Bohren, carrying over from last month. This is one of my favourites of theirs, mostly just for the choir sound and the all-time great sax intro at about 4:30. When you start at absolute zero, dialling it up to a 1 sounds like bomb going off.

Dust Bunnies - Kurt Vile: This is like most Kurt Vile songs in that it's sort of just about hanging out and feeling kind of funny, which is a mindset I really relate to.

Here For The Beer - The Sloppy Boys: A bunch of guys from The Birthday Boys have a band now and it's really great. Comedy music is hard but this album is the best kind where it's just dumb ass rock and roll story songs and odes to partying. The way he says 'autographed baseball' makes me laugh every time.

Beer Pressure - Municipal Waste: Anyway that song reminded me of this song, which is almost the exact same song with a slightly different mindset.

Credulous! Credulous! - BATS: There's really something to listening to a song for ten years and then having it suddenly dawn on you one day that it's about an epilleptic 16 year old in the distant past getting treppaned by a mystic and a team of scientists in the present figuring out what happened.

Please Take Your Hand Away - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross: Everyone's (me) always talking about how good The Social Network soundtrack is but nobody's ever talking about how they did a sequel that's just as good and goes for longer than the actual film when they released the nearly 3 hour Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack a year later. What an achievement!

What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 2 - DJ Shadow: This song is really on a whole nother level. It is really a kind of magic that you can get a 15 minute song out of a two note bassline and a drum loop, but when they're this good it looks easy. The drums especially are just absolutely hypnotising.

One Of One - Kamasi Washington: Kamasi somehow outdid himself on this one my god. The groove in this is just amazing, and the way it twists and turns into something darker and darker before the sun shines through and the hook comes back is incredible. The way the theme comes back all twisted up with strings near the end. Great stuff.

My Exit, Unfair - mewithoutYou: I honestly very nearly got converted in high school just because I was listening to so much mewithoutYou, and it still informs a lot of my religious thoughts. A running theme through a lot of their songs is wrestling with and trying to accept the idea that God has a plan for you that you definitely don't understand and getting extremely upset about it and that's about where I'm at.

Stand - R.E.M.: Apparently this was the theme to a show called Get A Life and it's funny because it really does sound perfect for a 90s tv theme. It sounds like it's two and a half minutes too long. Release the 30 second TV theme version REM.

BFG Division - Mick Gordon: I was watching a guy speedrun Doom on GDQ and the music for that game is so amazing, but it sounds really funy when the whole sppedrun is just clipping through a wall and rocket jumping halfway across the level to trigger the checkpoint. Mick Gordon really nailed this soundtrack, it's a massive part of the atmosphere of the game and it's really the logical expansion of the MIDI themes of the original, it sounds like the original in HD, this is what you thought you were hearing.

Angel's Rest - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson's songs are so loosely structured they often seem dreamed up on the spot, but the sounds and moods seem so carefully considered that the notes themselves aren't so important.

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Oxygen - Michael Giacchino: If Michael Giacchino doesn't get an Oscar for The Incredibles II soundtrack I'm going to riot. The climax of this is so big I had to stop myself from applauding in the theatre, it's irrepressible.

AM // Radio - Earl Sweatshirt & Wiki: I was having a week where I was really feeling like the phrase "I don't like shit, I don't go outside" and so I suddenly remembered this album. This beat is so, so good. It sounds like nothing else, and it only adds to the alien flavour by giving the second half of the track to an instrumental.

World In Harmony - Adebisi Shank: Adebisi Shank are really the perfect band. They love to have fun and have a big time and they started out with a perfect first album and only got bigger and better by the time they got to the third and broke up. This song is so powerful, and my billionaire dream is to finance a new F-Zero game and get Adebisi Shank back together to do the soundtrack.

Make Luv feat. Oliver Cheatham - Room 5: I'm slowly putting together a playlist of songs that sound like Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust in order to invoke some kind of euphoric 'best night ever' and ascend to heaven but this song is the only other one I have so far.

A Love Supreme Part II: Resolution - John Coltrane Quartet: I don't feel qualified to say anything about A Love Supreme, so I don't think I'm going to. I literally don't know where to start with this. It's damn good music.

"You Got A Killer Scene There, Man..." - Queens Of The Stone Age: This song is a real vibe. This should be a whole genre but I've never really found anything else like it. It's like if The Doors were good I suppose. It's shocking that this song only goes for 5 minutes because it really feels like it could go for 20 and you wouldn't mind. I remember a few years ago I opened this in Audition and slowed it down to 75% and I really recommend it, it makes the whole thing feel as sludgy as I think it's supposed to be and makes all the breaks that much more impactful.

Never Let Me Go - Sarah Blasko: A friend sent me this and said it sounds like a Bond theme and he's absolutely right, especially towards the end where it all starts stacking up. Maybe it would need a bit more brass to be a proper Bond theme but still, I love it.

Protection - Emma Ruth Rundle: I love Emma Ruth Rundle so much and I'm so excited that she's got a new album coming out. The absolute textural thickness she can conjure up in a song like this blows me away. I don't know what it is about her voice but it sounds like the 90s somehow. Does that make sense? This feels like 90s music, like the grunge female songwriter thing went a slightly different way and I love it.

listen here

#playlists

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actuallyvady · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

Alright. So.

Every so often I hyperfixate on something and project like hell, shoving all my issues into that thing and inventing meaning that probably wasn’t intended. But. I don’t usually do it without at least having evidence in the text, and sometimes it’s fun to explore that. So without further ado… let’s talk about Coup d’Etat. Because it has embedded itself deep in my psyche and honestly, this video is what the landscape of my mind looks like lately.

Let me start with a disclaimer: I do not speak Korean and therefore none of this is based on the words to the song; I do not know what the words are. All of this is about the visuals in the video.

Coup d’Etat, for those who have not followed my rapid descent into kpop hell, is the title track on a 2013 album by an artist known as G-Dragon. G-Dragon is a member of a band called Big Bang, and is known primarily as a rapper. There are conversations to be had about kpop and appropriation of black culture; I’m not going to get into that here, as I don’t think it comes into play in this particular video.

Let’s start with something easy: the title. I actually saw a comment where a fan claimed that it was a phrase GD had invented. Note to self: do not read the comments. In reality, a coup d’etat is… well… a literal, possibly violent, overthrow of an existing government. It also is used more colloquially as a master stroke, a winning move. Given that the song starts with “the revolution will not be televised” being sampled, I am inclined to believe the political meaning was at least partly intended. That said, many of the images clearly represent his personal experiences, so it’s probably not entirely political.

The hook includes the words “this is my coup d’etat” (in English, which… is a thing they do) and it is possible that the lyrics use a more personal meaning of the phrase, referring to, perhaps, the album itself as a master stroke or a major victory. I cannot speak to the lyrics, but I will say that the idea of declaring a piece of your own work a coup is… delightfully self-assured. I could call it arrogant, but it doesn’t feel that way, in part because of the visuals in the video. It feels more defiant than cocky.

I’m not going to describe the video shot-for-shot; you can (and should) watch it yourself. Instead I am going to address the visuals that stick with me the most.

The opening shots feature a lifeless landscape, a huge wall, and a lone figure prostrate on the ground. He’s only wearing a sheet wrapped around his legs and a scarf covering his face, but even in the initial shot, a couple of G-Dragon’s tattoos are visible, if you know what to look for. He is dirty, broken down, and shaking. He looks weak. When we see him close up, his skin is wrinkled—but his tattoos are very clear. We are meant to see that this is an old, beaten down G-Dragon. He reaches for a stone. We will hit this image, this figure, several times throughout the video.

The other recurring image we get throughout the video is G-Dragon standing in some sort of tower, with a wrecking ball above him, hitting the walls, seemingly to bring the tower down. At first he seems unbothered by this.

Early in the video we see several scenes where he seems trapped—and these are the ones I mentioned as relating to her personal experience, as they all seem to relate to his career as a kpop star. At one point he is behind a ticket counter, with the clouded windows making the figures outside almost menacing. Following this he’s in a kitchen, of sorts, cooking money. Then he’s strapped into an electric chair in what seems to be a ruined dressing room—lights around mirrors like that imply some kind of show business—with water on the floor. He also stands blindfolded—a recurring image I’ll address in a bit—before a firing squad. Trapped by the life he leads, he still almost snarls at the camera as he is being electrocuted and looks bored by the shots firing near him; this is not a man who meekly accepts his fate or is frightened by what others do to him.

Now, let’s talk about eyes and blindfolds. Interspersed with the blindfolded GD at the firing squad (with graffiti eyes large behind him), there is a masked GD with only his eyes visible, surrounded by graffiti of eyes looking at him. GD with eyes covered is unafraid. Shortly after that we get an image of him sitting at a table with blindfolded paparazzi—he looks much less amused at being surrounded by the blind than he was at being shot at. The fact that this scene is cut with a shot of what looks like his body being pecked at by ravens says a lot about how he feels about paparazzi—though the ‘body’ is awake and staring at the camera. Again, his eyes feel confrontational. The broken figure that opens the video has his eyes covered as well, and the ruined statue he stands with at the end of the video is missing the upper half of its face.

The wall of masks continues this focus on eyes; the masks all have their eyes closed, and they cry ink. There’s a lot to unpack there. And then GD stands in front of the white wall of white masks and he is all black. Including his skin. Which makes his eyes pop even more than his usual heavy eyeliner does. He stands in a pool of ink—like the masks were crying—and then, with a smirk, he breaks the mask that had covered his face.

That marks a turning point in the video. The broken down, wrinkled figure from the beginning stands and throws a stone at the wall; up close, he tears at the prosthetics that make him appear old and broken down, revealing the young GD (more specifically, his eyes) beneath. The GD in the tower throws his head back and screams.

And finally we have a shot of a GD clad all in red, masked but for his eyes, standing in front of red flags. It’s the first bright color we’ve seen in a while and he looks, to my American eyes, like the sort of “terrorist” that has been the boogie man in our fiction for a while. It’s an intensely political image, but I’m not going to guess at the motivation behind it, as that is not my purpose here.

(I realize that I said I was not going to describe the whole video and I seem to have almost done that, though I did skip some early imagery. It’s just that all of this ties in with the point I wanted to make, so.)

My purpose here is to talk about why these images, and this video, have latched onto my psyche and refused to let go.

Let’s start here: I’m trans.

Yes, I’m nonbinary, but I am increasingly drawn to the idea of transitioning to be more masculine; there is not a part of me that wants to be more feminine, just a part of me that doesn’t mind as much.

Right now the world is a garbage fire. Our idiot in chief has been doing all he can to dismantle what little legal protection trans people have, in addition to everything else he has done—which is a lot. There are Nazis again. He thinks they’re fine people. Anyway, recently news broke that he was trying to define trans people out of existence.

It was not long after that that I found this video.

I am a very contrary person, highly motivated by spite. You tell me not to do a thing and my first impulse is to do it more. So that news breaking led me to want to be more out and more loud about being trans, and it made me want to say fuck it and start transitioning right away. But it also frightened me. The world is not a safe place for trans people. Those who hate us are empowered by everything the administration does to try to bring us down. It would be a lot safer for me to not transition, to meekly accept being read as female in public spaces. These are very conflicting things to feel.

Enter G-Dragon.

G-Dragon, confined by the trappings of his life, surrounded by people who are blind to who he really is. Blindfolded and bound for execution.

And defiant as fuck.

G-Dragon, in a world of masks, shattering the one meant for him.

G-Dragon, tearing at his own flesh to reveal his true self.

G-Dragon, beaten down and weak, casting a single stone at a wall and bringing it down.

The more I watched the video, the more I felt like this moment, this scream, was both what I was feeling and what I wanted to feel. Maybe there is nothing I can do to keep the tower from coming down on my head but I will not be silent.

And G-Dragon’s confrontational eyes, which say not just “I see you” but also “you will see me.”

The track starts by sampling “The Revolution will not be televised” but I think it’s the second and third line that matter the most to me: “The revolution is in your mind” and “The revolution is here”

#... i got a bit carried away #but i wanted to try to articulate why this hit me so hard #it does not matter at all what was intended by these images #this is what they mean to me #i hope all this babbling makes sense at least

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lighthouseofthewanderess · 6 years ago

Text

Music

In talking about how to relive a moment, I forgot the most obvious and influential element in my life. Music. Now, I know people have spoken a lot about it, written, and composed songs on it. So I won’t bore you with what I feel about it. I’ll just show you how I look at it. To me, Music is a person -- a constant companion in my good times and the bad. Sometimes, Music is the reason I snap out of certain phases in my life. An angel, in my mom’s words. The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto is a book that helped me grasp music better. Before that I just was in awe of it. I got another tattoo that read out the word inspire, designed in musical notes. When people see it, they ask me if I am musically inclined. I appreciate it, no I don’t play anything. I have tried the piano, the flute, choir singing, and lyric writing. That’s not a gift that I’ve been blessed with. I go about telling people that painting, writing, dancing and other forms are art all fall short in front of music. In my eyes, you have to be truly gifted to have music flow through your veins. The rest of the world can just hope to hear every random tune ever made because each one is story in itself. And the ones who hear the most and explores the most, are the richest.

Why do I say that? Because the emotion a song brings is one of the few things that money can’t fetch you. You have a voice, a string of words, and a melody -- all that you may and may not like. But when you do, it sticks with you. It comes to you when you’re riding along a busy street, when you’re facing a power cut in the shower. Or when someone has just told you something harsh and walked away. Words surface from tunes you’ve heard and you can’t help but seek refuge in it. It swallows you, holds you, rocks you calm, and puts you back on your feet. That’s why when I meet someone I’m so eager to know what kind of music they listen too. When I see a long list on iTunes, I go ‘Woah, he’s rich.’ And the quality of each tune, further adds to how I respect or distant myself from that person. I’m not talking about 150 songs that I can tap onto by listening to AT40 with Ryan. I’m talking about the ones you find when you venture out on YouTube and Spotify, exchange music on the train, and create groups to share links. Here are a couple of songs that have managed to discover, in different phases in life, for their own reasons.

Gasoline, Halsey -- We’ve heard Halsey pair up with G-Eazy and Chainsmokers. And they’re all brilliant. But if I had to pick one favorite it would be Gasoline. It called to me because with every line, I went ‘oh that’s me’. The music, peaking and teasing to accentuate her voice. In fact my blog, The Wanderess, is inspired by her other song Hurricane, and what it captures. There’s a verse in it that goes: ‘I'm a wanderess I'm a one night stand Don't belong to no city Don't belong to no man.’ I just had to borrow from that and do my own Halsey-thing on the side. I listen to her music when I’m fixing my bike, doing things that need extra strength or when I need to work majorly on my self-esteem. No need to pay 2k for therapy, Halsey is enough for me.

Anachronism, Crywolf -- the words are just about 4 paras long. And they are hella relatable, yes. It talks of how people aren’t perfect and everyone’s ghosts are real. And the artist sends a plea to whoever loves him to accept the wrath that he brings. Speaking of wrath, the music is just so intense and overpowers the voice and lyrics. It is unpredictable and haunting at the same time. It builds up and crashes when you least expect it and suddenly comes alive when your heart has said goodbye. I listen to this when I need to zone out, and focus on one thing at a time. I cannot plug this one in and work. It screams for attention and with good reason.

Akhiyaan Nu Rehn De, Quratulain Balouch -- There’s something about not knowing the meaning of what you’re listening to. If you have the superpower of imagination like me, then you find a narrative in those lost tunes in your head. It is definitely emotive and some part of that has to do with the fact that it is vernacular. It has the drums in the back as well, a beautiful addition to the morose emotion oozing out of her strained yet confident voice. And this song is mostly catharsis for me. It is short yet intense and through the song I manage to seek out my pent-up feelings and let them go when the music ends abruptly.

Babe I’m Yours, Whilk and Misky -- I almost scrapped this song in the first few seconds because it started off-key. But then the beats fell right in and I was transported to a cowboy tavern where a drunk lover is saying all the things that one wants to hear. “But I want cream in my coffee I want springs in my steps I want gin in my tonic And I want all that I can get.” I listen to this more because I relate to the guy rather than the girl. I underestimate the power of love and just like him, I surrender once I realize. So when I need to get going on a Friday or Monday morning, here’s my jam.

Librarian, Laura Jane Scott -- Very fittingly, it opens like a story with easy beats. Mellow music and no unexpected turns. It puts you in a dream and has all the happy words weaved in, although what the artist is saying is that she wants to conquer the books she looks over. She wants to be with the fairies and the pirates instead of this normal world. So you obviously know I’m listening to this when I’m making a run from reality.

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You, Cigarettes After Sex -- If I wasn’t a sucker for deep voices, this won’t be on my list. Purely love it because of the voice and the calming effect it has on my mood. Especially if I’m breaking down, I plug this one. It is tender and cautious, inching closer and closer to your heart to make you feel whole again. There is no clear narrative, just the aftermath of the experience. Still, Daughter -- This breaks down a beautiful yet dying relationship. Similar to ‘Dancing in a Burning Room’. I’ll just let her words do the talking: “It's spiraling down Biting words like a wolf howling Hate is spitting out each others mouths But we're still sleeping like we're lovers.” And yet when you listen to it, it’s not a sad tune. The chorus is weirdly upbeat and gives you the feeling that when you’re stuck at a fork there’s still half a chance at happiness.

Goodbye, Feder -- Vengeful is the world. It seethes in her voice and the music is suspenseful. You might hear it at a club, a remixed version but the original is good enough. The story unfolds one line at a time and whenever I hear it I can half imagine the artist sitting next to me at the bar and narrating the way her love affair went down and what she wants to tell the guy. “Then, you ran away Are you thinking of me when you f her? Does she know you were supposed to love me 'Til you die? Almost, kill me”

Land of all, Woodkid -- Again, on the list because of the voice. It is beautiful, haunting, and tragic. The composition here just has to be given special mention. When it starts you have no idea what’s coming. In terms of the music, the lyrics, or the tone. It just peaks out of nowhere.The chorus is layer and layer of chaos that builds louder into a self-revealing moment. I mean, it just makes you feel like the artist is putting all the important parts into the chorus without words and you just have to get it.

Formidable, Stromae -- This is probably a favorite because I have personal respect for Paul Haver. The voice that comes of his bony frame, his versatility, and in large a single component that occupy all his music. The bouncing beat at the back always makes you want to shake a leg and even though I don’t understand French, I am pretty sure of the vibe he’s putting out there. Mostly all his songs end on my list.

Of course, it’s was very hard to put together this list. There was a song for each phase. Ruins by Ryder through my small yet full-blown goth phase. Yamaha by Delta Spirit whenever I’m on my way home from Pune. We were in love by Ta-Ku when I’m angry with the world around me. I know some of these aren’t that rare at all, but it’s a good mix of my go to songs. I have Sweater Weather from NBHD, Olivia from Mayer, and Born to Die from Lana constantly on my favorites. Like speed dial. And that’s how music literally saves my soul some days. I hope some of this will save you too.

#nanowrimo #nano 2018 #nano writing #writedaily #on writers #writers #wrimo #loveforwriting #music #musiclist #good tunes #mytunes #listen #artists #songs #must listen

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srona58 · 7 years ago

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TAYLOR IN REPUTATION IS JAY GATSBY!!!

No disrespect to cats or food or sleep or Florida or hockey or Chris Pratt or Star Wars or Mark Hamill or Christmas or snow or porgs or Robert Downey Jr or cheesecake or even my Avy, but Reputation literally just brought my two favorite things on this planet together and I want to cry: Taylor Swift and the Great Gatsby.

Don’t believe me? It took me an entire listen all the way through but I AM DYING; Gatsby is my all time favorite book and I have written about it, read it, and watched the movies thousands of times…so, let me know what you think.

Let’s start off simple. For those of you who haven’t read the Great Gatsby, it’s a dramatic love story that doesn’t have a very happy ending. Jay Gatsby is a rich, yet shady to the public eye, man who throws parties for the girl he used to love before he went to war. He moved near her and eventually they got back together…only to end up in a crazy, mixed up tragic ending. Daisy is married to Tom, but Tom is seeing Myrtle..this will all make sense later on. So, if you don’t want spoilers, don’t read ahead…but please do anyway, haha.

The book/movie had a few themes that were repetitive – the color green, which included hope and wealth, the locations, and giant parties representing the 20s. Start with So It Goes, Dancing With Our Hands Tied, and Dress - all mention the same color gold, which is also equal to the idea of wealth and money that the color green gives in Gatsby. The lyrics in SIG are ‘gold cage, hostage to my feelings’, DWOHT says ‘painted my golden’, and a ‘golden tattoo’ is mentioned in Dress.

Now, take notes of the songs Ready For It, Delicate and Dress – all discuss the theme of an island or the east and west side. In RFI, she talked about moving to an island, and in Delicate she talks once about the ‘east side, where you at?’ and later says ‘third floor on the west side’ – yes, she is talking about New York, I assume, but the East and West Egg are mentioned over and over again as the home bases for the characters in Gatsby. Last: in This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, King Of My Heart, and New Year’s Day, the lyrics are almost a mirror to the party life of Gatsby. TIWWCHNT is a complete match, using lyrics like ‘it was so nice throwing big parties’, ‘everyone swimming in a champagne sea’, ‘bass beat rattling the chandelier, feeling so Gatsby for that whole year’. This is probably the only time I’m going to mention this song in this rant, though, since it’s solely about the parties when discussing this Gatsby idea. KOMH mentions fancy cars and the idea of ‘fancy me not fancy stuff’ which is how Daisy sees past the parties to see Gatsby for him. NYD discusses ‘glitter on the floor after the party’, which again, is obviously a party mention.

Now, here we go with chronological things that I feel line up to the story of Gatsby and how Reputation follows this.

In Ready For It, the question of ‘ready for it?’ definitely reminds me of when Daisy asks ‘Gatsby? What Gatsby?’ in the opening of the book/movie; this sets up the whole story, as does this first song on the album.

Lets move onto End Game. The words ‘big reputation’ are repeated over and over again, which, yes, is the album title, but in Gatsby, Jay is always given a bad wrap by people he doesn’t know, and he knows the rumors being shared about him – example, when Nick is trying to locate Gatsby at his first party and he is told several things, including murder, about the man before they meet by other guests. Gatsby definitely has ‘big enemies’, like Taylor has in End Game.

I Did Something Bad and Don’t Blame Me both remind me of the song Lana Del Rey did for the latest movie version of Gatsby, ‘Young and Beautiful’ - they both have that mystical backing vocals. Now, I Did Something Bad links back to the reputation of Gatsby/Taylor, saying ‘cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three’; she is saying the can always one up her with more rumors or lies. Then, Don’t Blame Me states that ‘your love made me crazy’ – yes, we can relate this back to Blank Space, but in the end of the book/film, he also goes over the edge and gets angry, eventually scaring Daisy off.

With Delicate, Taylor asks ‘is it cool that I said all that’ – which directly uses the word cool, as Daisy does when she tells Gatsby he always ‘looks so cool’. She also talks about pretending someone is ‘mine all the damn time,’ as Gatsby does the entire time they are separated and he is pursuing getting Daisy back. Gorgeous also uses the word cool, then mentions ‘consequence[s] of you touching my hand in a darkened room’, which could relate to when Gatsby and Daisy go off to the woods during the first party of his that Daisy attends.

Let’s head into So It Goes, which furthers the discussion of the party in which they escape together in secret, hiding from Tom, Daisy’s husband. Taylor sings ‘all eyes on us’ and ‘but when you get me alone, it’s so simple’, which is how easy it is for Daisy to fall right back into place with Gatsby once she realized he is living near her. She also writes about ‘doing bad things’ which could foreshadow how Gatsby and Daisy get in trouble near the end, but NO, I do not feel like this mimics how the book/movie ends…completely.

Look What You Made Me Do was our first single from the album and while I love this, it also covers a big part of the Gatsby story line. ‘You said the gun was mine’ directly relates to how everyone blamed Gatsby for killing Mertyl, when in reality, it was Daisy but no one knew. This is the part of the book/movie where everything turns from good to bad, and for the album, this is where it goes from good to bad and is the beginning of the demise of Gatsby…so, turning points at the same place?

Getaway Car follows, which ironically follows the story line of Gatsby, too! Yes, Taylor is probably referring to Joe saving her, BUT it also can relate to Gatsby and Daisy using the car to escape back to New York after Jay raises his temper and scares Daisy off while in the city. The song starts off with ‘I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason’ and Daisy wanted to leave Tom and was waiting for Gatsby to tell him and give her a reason to. ‘We’d never get far’ refers to Gatsby and Daisy never getting far with their relationship, as Taylor hadn’t with her past relationships. Then, she writes ‘I shoulda known I’d be the first to leave’, as Daisy leaves before Gatsby dies, knowing she could never truly be with him. The other big parts in this song are ‘but you weren’t thinkin, and I was just drinkin’, well, he was runnin’ after us, I was screaming’ and ‘it hit you like a shotgun, shot to the heart’ – the first just sets up the car ride home where Daisy is wildly driving after they were all drinking in the hotel in the city, and the latter is the scene where Gatsby is, quite literally, shot and killed in the heart by Mertyl’s husband. Last, one of the lyrics is ‘the last time you saw me’, and after that scene I just described, Gatsby never saw Daisy again.

Continuing… Dancing With Our Hands Tied uses the phrase ‘love you in secret’, for obvious reasons. It also says ‘nothing in the world that could stop it’, which is what Gatsby though, because, after all, he was seeing the world through the eyes of God…but that’s a different in-book concept. Later on in the song it talks about ‘I’d hold you as the water rushes in if I could dance with you again’ – Gatsby hears the phone ring while in the pool before he is shot and whispers Daisy’s name, even though it was Nick calling; he is shot and killed with the hope that Daisy had come back, and as he sinks into the WATER, he is thinking about the past few days he spent DANCING with Daisy and trying to get her back.

Call It What You Want, a personal favorite, generally relates to the incident with the gun at the end and how Gatsby was finally taken down by Mertyl’s husband. His ‘castle crumbled [literally] overnight’, and he didn’t bring any weapons when his killer brought the gun. After he died the windows of the house were boarded up – ironically after the shit show of a storm their lives became. AND ‘late November’ is in the fall (even though Gatsby is shot near Labor Day).

And now the last song on the album, New Year’s Day, is the one that differs, but it is GOOD. The one big line that stands out to me is ‘don’t read the last page’ – DO NOT READ THE LAST PAGE OF GATSBY, because it delivers the end of his life, and states it is time to move on, not be ‘borne back ceaselessly into the past’.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY LAST POINT! As a recap…one of my FAVORITE THEMES that I have not mentioned yet is the idea of repeating the past. In the book/movie, Nick tells Gatsby he ‘can’t repeat the past’, in which Gatsby replies ‘can’t repeat the past? Why, of course you can!” He will never let go of that hope of getting Daisy back. I Did Something Bad says ‘I’d do it over and over again if I could’. Don’t Blame Me uses ‘I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind’, talking about how desperate Gatsby is to go back to how things were. AND in Dancing With Our Hands Tied, the lyrics are ‘I could’ve spent forever’.

AND THE KICKER? She blatantly uses the name Gatsby in TIWWCHNT and even says ‘now I’m your daisy’ in Don’t Blame Me – SHE IS NOW JOE’S DAISY, AS HE DOESN’T WANT TO LET HER GO, EITHER. But in a healthy way…so DON’T READ THE LAST PAGE AND KILL THE STORY – the story will go on!!!

IN CONCLUSION, Taylor is the epitome of Gatsby, from starting as a party thrower to having rumors spread about her, to desperately clinging for love and trying to repeat the past until she finally killed herself (the ‘old Taylor’), only she is REWRITING HER OWN STORY and not killing herself off…she is simply jumping characters and being in love.

THERE YA GO, THIS IS MY FAVORITE ALBUM BY FAR. PLEASE REBLOG AND TAG @taylorswift

#taylor swift #gatsby #reputation

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phoenixvinyl · 7 years ago

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Louis Tomlinson tag game

Fave solo song

I cant choose and anything that Louis sings is perfect but i'll go with Just Like You. The melody is wonderful, Louis sounds like the angel he is and the lyrics are so powerful. The song represents him so well.

Fave 1D song

What a feeling is my favourite 1d song as a whole but it's a tie with Home bc that song is a masterpiece and one of the best in history of music and lyrics. Hands down the most powerful 1d song.

Fave lyric

(One direction)

"And it's alright

Calling out for somebody to hold tonight

When you're lost, I'll find the way

I'll be your light

You'll never feel like you're alone

I'll make this feel like home"

(Solo)

"Every heart breaks the same"

Fave quote

A few favourites bc again, i can't choose

"It’s always nerve wracking putting something new out, but as I’ve always have said, I have the best fans out there."

“Because then I’d be conceding.”

"Let's make someone happy."

"Always have struggled to bite my tongue."

Fave tattoo

"It is what it is", the compass and the dagger (bc i have a dagger and a rose too).

Fave pic

How do you choose when he's literally the most beautiful creature to ever grace this universe? You can't so here are a few favourite.

Headband Louis or Baseball cap Louis

Headband Louis. Any Louis.

Describe Louis with two words

Soft and brave.

What Louis means to you

I've been a fan of one direction (and thus, of Louis) for almost eight years now. Actually, i got into one direction during the x factor because of Louis. It's been so many years and i still cant describe what he means to me. The people that know me best know that im not someone that goes around giving my love to everybody, in fact the number of people i can say that i love with my whole heart and soul is not that high, but Louis got within that number so so fast and easily. How could he not? He's just that wonderful. He's part of my family by now, my parents love him as well and he is hands down one of the people i love the most in the whole world.

He teaches me everyday to be better, to do better, to never give up, to fight for my dreams and to fight for me and for the ones i love. He teaches me to be strong, to be brave, to be soft and also that there's a lot of bravery in being vulnerable and soft. He is a fighter and the bravest person i know, and i love him so, so much.

There's this song that always makes me think of him. Bravest everything by Yuna:

Lovely, that's what you are to me

I love you when you're strong

I love you when you're weak

Lovely – you shine so bright

I love you when you're wrong

I love you when you're right

Sometimes they try to break you

But just be good to your heart

Sometimes they try to change you

Don't let them tear you apart

Run, running far away

I'll be here

And I got your back

When you are out there

Doing what you do best

You are my greatest everything

When you are out there

Doing what you do best

You are my bravest everything

And thats what he is, lovely yet so so brave.

Music saves so many lives, every single day (and not just music, actors, shows, books,etc.) And i'm endlessly amazed by it. How Louis (and many other artists) are a reason to get up every morning for so many people. Also, so many artists are worth following just because their art is amazing, but being a fan of someone that not only inspires you by their art but also with their soul? And thats the kind of person Louis is. Louis makes everything brighter because he is pure light.

I'm not gonna say he saved my life because he didn't. I have a good life with a loving and supportive family and wonderful friends. But, some days are shit and stressful and the only thing that makes me happy is Louis. Some days im sad or angry or anxious or stressed and i just look at pictures of him or listen to his songs or just think about him and his album and i instantly feel better. He feels like home, he is home and i love him so much.

That's just it you know? He makes me happy, and for that im greatful.

Thanks to the lovely @rosegoldhl for this idea! And i'm tagging @louisandthedagger @nosoyashe @girasoldelluvia @bullshitislove @inkedcommas.

#guess who's crying in a hotel room in barcelona? hint me #i love you my king #louis tomlinson

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coffee-for-himchan · 7 years ago

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Carnival (Daehyun x reader)

Requested by: anon

Word count: 3.7 k+

Genre/warnings: fluff ❤ (this scenario features quite a lot of other more or less annoying B.A.P members in the background, so be prepared)

Summary: Going to a carnival was your biggest dream ever since you were a kid, and just because you’d grown up to become an adult doesn’t mean you were ready to ditch that dream. Daehyun decided to help you out with it, planning a classic “just like in the movies” cheesy carnival date for the two of you.

You looked around, not really knowing how to deal with all of your excitement and happiness that was overflowing you since you had gotten into the car earlier this evening. For your whole life, this was the one place, the one events that you wanted to attend. It started off as a stupid childhood dream, and with every passing year it seemed more and more like something unreal that would never happen. But here you were, about to fulfill your slightly embarrassing dream. A Carnival. And what’s even funnier, with almost the whole of B.A.P, minus grandpa Guk who was too tired to go out and have fun and the toll kid Zelo, who had family plans tonight, which meant you were stuck with the “loud squad”, plus 4D Jongup, but you didn’t mind, as this was the perfect occasion where they could scream their heads off, and you’d maybe even join in for a bit. The car ride was quite hectic, especially when you pulled out their album “Carnival” and quietly ordered Jongup, who was in the passenger’s seat next to Himchan, to put the CD in. Nothing’s ever been better than seeing the guy’s faces when they caught onto the lame pun you were trying to make, and joined in, singing every song at the top of their lungs. You’ve never seen mom Chan so conflicted between wanting to scold you all for making it hard for him to drive and wanting to jam along with everyone, letting his true diva side shine. Daehyun, your lovely dork of a boyfriend, ordered you to rap all of Yongguk’s parts, and when you did so flawlessly, there were quite a lot of “wooahs” and “aaahs”, as it sounded so hilarious when you did it in your relatively high pitched voice (‘cause who doesn’t sound high pitched compared to Yongguk?). Plus, no one really believed you’d know all the lyrics, because even they struggled when it came to knowing each other’s parts and lyrics. Daehyun and Youngjae traded between rapping Zelo’s parts, nailing some of them and failing the rest, especially the very fast ones. Himchan from time to time ordered them to let Jongup rap some parts as well, and you admired this caring side of him, which usually showed whenever Jongup was left out. Jongup didn’t really seem to mind not having any rap parts though - he was just his happy self, quietly jamming in the front seat and doing his infamous dance move that cracked you up every time - “the window cleaner”, as you called it. “How comes you know all the lyrics? You Yongguk biased?” Daehyun teased you, and you rolled your eyes. “What if I am?” you said, leaning in a bit. It was just like in the movies - you were sitting next to each other, faces close and a daring look in your eyes, accompanied with cheeky smiles across your faces. Youngjae had a “omg, drama’s ahead” look on his face as he watched both of you outbattle each other in teasing.

“I’m supposed to be your bias!” Daehyun said, chuckling a bit. To be honest, you’ve joked around like this in the past, and he always tried to make it seem like it didn’t bother him when you picked someone other than him, but there was always this little tint of hurt in his eyes than nagged at you, making you regret even thinking about joking that way. Thankfully, nowadays that look in his eyes was gone, as you’ve been completely and utterly in love for way too long for him not to know he was your one and only in every single way and aspect of life, which also included him being your B.A.P bias. “Oh, is that so?” you tilted your head slightly. “Can you even have a bias if you’re dating a member?” Jongup said quietly, but no one seemed to hear or pay attention. “Yes! I’m cooler than Yongguk!” “I’m so gonna tell this to him when we meet him tomorrow…” Himchan murmured somewhere in the front seat, causing Youngjae to crack up. “But Yongguk’s like… All poetic. He’s got like a chest tattoo and stuff, that is cool, and his voice is so low-” “Hey my voice can be low too!” Daehyun exclaimed, but, quite unfortunate for him, one of his high notes came on, loudly piercing right through the car stereo, making everyone burst out laughing. A slight blush creeped across his face as as the laughter continued, but he was aware his friends were just teasing, so he didn’t mind being the center of attention in this situation. “Well, okey, do as you wish then. All I’m saying is you’re missing out on a lot,” Daehyun told you as you laughed together with everyone, and gave you a loving look. Up until you finally arrived at your desired destination, you’d listened to the album not once but twice, having a lot of fun and just being yourselves. You made sure to lock your fingers with Daehyun’s right after that bias talk though, playing around with his hand and letting him know you were just joking, and, even though he didn’t quite need that reassurance, he still appreciated it, because your touch was something he could never get enough of. Colorful, blinding lights, tons of different, loud music, a faint smell of cotton candy in the distance and every possible amusement park ride, arcade machine or booth imaginable, or at least every single one you could think of. Everything was there, right in front of you. How could this many different amusement rides fit on this field? How did people build them up and take them down later, in order to move them to a different location? You didn’t quite have the time to think, as a familiar hand clenched onto your wrist and pulled you along. “You still on earth?” Daehyun smiled at you, melting your heart even more. “Is this earth? Seems too good to be true,” you mumbled, making Daehyun chuckle a little. Ever since he met you, he knew that you’ve never been to a place like this, and that you’ve always wanted to visit a carnival, and he knew that simply because that was one of the things you accidentally blurted out the very first time both of you met. Even though you were embarrassed by your childish desire, he thought of it as a cute thing, and made it his priority to actually take you on, preferably, a date to a carnival. When Daehyun actually had the chance, he decided to fully use it, but had an annoying, clingy hyung and two less clingy but just as annoying dongsaengs who wanted to tag along, even after Daehyun had explained this was supposed to be a date type of thing. “Hey, where are the guys…” you trailed off as you saw them walking further away in the distance, with Himchan seemingly leading the way, Jongup casually walking next to him and Youngjae walking a step behind them, being his energetic self and desperately trying to tell those two about something, using a bunch of hand gestures and screaming. “Oh, what a shame, they left. Guess it’s just us now,” Daehyun’s tone made you crack up, because it literally screamed “It’s not like I knew this would happen, I just knew”. You playfully slapped his cheek, turning his face in the opposite direction, and he didn’t seem to mind. “You planned this, didn’t you?” was all you said as he linked his fingers together with yours, tugging you along to his first chosen destination. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t,” is all he told you, and that was enough to make your heart skip a beat. You knew how much he cared about you and your desires, and every single day you were surprised by how many different ways he found to please you and make you happy. Every day he came up with something new to boost your mood with, and each and single surprise or date just kept getting more and more entertaining and special. You wondered where the ceiling was for his activities, and how much better it could get, but, to be honest, you didn’t quite see an end or limit to his endless efforts. He made his priority to make you happy, just like you when told him you would make your priority to make him smile every day long ago, and since then it’s just been a rollercoaster of nice emotions, because both of you had always at least some tiny idea or thing in mind to make the other person feel happy, good, excited and, most of all, wanted, desired and loved. “So, don’t tell me we have one of those cheesy carnival dates ahead of us,” you smiled up at him, seeing his facial expression shift a little. “I mean, that’s what they do in the dramas, and it seems to be pretty effective, so…” Of course, dramas. After all, he was your drama watching buddy, because he was really fun to watch them with. He always had funny comments to say completely out of the blue, and he was always the one you could talk about the dramas for ages with, because, even though he tried to hide it from everyone else and wouldn’t admit it, he loved watching dramas. You were probably the only person he was so open about it with, and that made you slightly proud. “I mean, if you don’t like the idea…” “Jung Daehyun, stop right there and don’t finish that sentence, you know very well that I was just testing your nerves and sense of humor,” you told him, cutting him off, “whatever plans you have in mind, I want to know them and experience them to the fullest.” “As you say, babe,” the word “babe”, in his cute accent, always made you slightly shiver, as you really loved when he called you like that. When everyone else said it, it sounded so repetitive, unoriginal and boring, but Daehyun gave that word new meaning and life, making it sound all sweet and unique again. Whenever he said it, you felt like the only person on earth who ever got called “babe”, and that made you feel special. What followed was a classic carnival date, except with a little twist here and there in Daehyun fashion. Everything you saw on TV, in the shows and the movies, became reality for you, and you felt more like one of those pretty actresses than yourself, having a cute date like this planned for you by a sweet and amazing boy you were lucky enough to call yours. First stop was some classic carnival games where you could win prizes, because the first thing that had to be crossed out of the “classic cheesy carnival date” list was Daehyun winning in one of these games so he could get a prize and give it to you as a gift. You laughed when you both found out you were actually a better shot at the shooting game than he was, although neither your or his score was big enough to get a proper prize. It all changed when it came to one of those “popping balloons using darts” games, because, although his aim wasn’t that good when it came to shooting with a gun, his aim while throwing a dart was alarmingly good. You, on the other hand, were quite unfortunate, but instead of making fun of you or doing any of those things, Daehyun cheered on you and loudly encouraged you till you had thrown your last dart and actually, to your surprise and probably his as well, popped a balloon. Even the guy behind the counter had to admit to himself that even though half the people he sees on regular daily basis are some more or less cute couples, you and Daehyun stood out. The way Daehyun believed in you and your ability to the last moment, being your never ending support, and the way he screeched right into your ear as he gave you a gigantic bear hug when you didn’t miss was a pleasant sight. Since Daehyun’s score was high enough to actually get a rather large stuffed animal, he allowed you to pick, not being able to resist from sliding his hand to firmly rest on your lower back when your eyes lit up at the sight of all of those toys. He loved to see your eyes scan over the whole shelf until they finally stopped at a light brown bunny, eyeing it up and down for a second and then pointing at it with one finger, excitedly exclaiming you wanted that. To your surprise, and even more to Daehyun’s surprise, the guy behind the counter handed you two bunnies instead of one. “They’ve been sitting on the shelf since I can remember, and since then all the other toys have been won and replaced, but those guys just never seemed to have any luck when it came to getting picked. I’ve decided long ago that they’re a double combo if anyone ever picks them, so I guess it’s your lucky day,” he said, smiling. After saying your thanks, Daehyun’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist as he suggested going and placing your new friends into the car, as you still had tons of activities to do and because of their size they would get in the way. “Why the bunnies though?” Daehyun asked. He had a cute idea in mind, as you always called the matokis “bunnies”, but your response was even cuter than that. “I mean, look at this one,” you told him, handing him the toy, “he reminded me of you 'cause you both have the same haircut.” Daehyun laughed at how weird but true the statement was, as the bunny really had some fur on his head that looked quite similar. “For when you’re away, I guess this new friend will keep me company from now on, since he reminds me of you. Oh, and this one too,” you handed him the other toy, taking the first one back. “So, then this will be the bunny version of you, I guess” he said, chuckling, “same fur color as your natural hair. Is that enough?” Now you were the one to laugh at his statement. “I just need an excuse to proclaim these bunnies boyfriend and girlfriend, so they’d never be lonely and always had someone by their side, just like I have you,” he told you, adding, “by the way, I’ve always told you that the dart should’ve been my item in “Skydive”. Youngjae can’t even aim properly with that thing.“ Two adults. You were supposed to be two adults. But instead, you were talking about hooking up some toy bunnies because if you didn’t they’d be lonely. God, if anyone heard you. Good that no one actually did. The evening continued with some adventures at arcade machines, where you both got extremely competitive and tried to beat each other at every possible game, even keeping track of wins and loses so you could prove who was better to the other person later on. It ended with a draw though, and being the loving couple that you were, you decided to leave it at that. Daehyun officially proclaimed you the winner (not forgetting to mention himself as the winner as well), and stated that you had to be rewarded. The reward, as it turned out, was a trip to the food court. He only smiled a cheeky smile when you told him that you weren’t the main reason he lead both of you here, but his never ending hunger was. Telling you that you were halfways right, he made you try different foods with him. You didn’t want to eat too much, but still did eat a little, as everything, even though it wasn’t the healthiest type of food, seemed quite delicious. Topping it off with classic light pink cotton candy, you two left to take a look at the rest of the carnival, fingers intertwined again and smiles bright on your faces. Amusement rides. Why not? The first thing you climbed on was one of those "Pirate Ship” rides, that was just a gigantic boat swinging back and forth in mid-air. “God, the last time I was on one of these, me and the guys were shooting “Ta-Dah, it’s B.A.P”, I think,” Daehyun seemed to cringe a little at the memory, and it made you burst out laughing because even though you thought they looked cute with their side-fringe blonde matching hair, you couldn’t help but laugh at it a little. A carousel was also one of the things on the to-do list, and, even though he was embarrassed as hell to get on a ride like this, Daehyun still did it, because, quote, “The things I do for you, I swear, I think I’m slowly losing my mind.”. As the evening came to an end and Himchan had already texted you that they planned on leaving soon (because texting Daehyun would be useless, he just wouldn’t respond), Daehyun took you by the hand and started slowly running into a direction only he knew. “Hey, Daehyun, we have to leave soon, where are you going?” you questioned. He stopped, turning around to a whole 180 degrees to face you, and took your other hand in his as well. “There’s one thing left, the cheesiest one yet, and I refuse to go before doing this with you.” Knowing how stubborn Dae could be, and being aware of how much you actually wanted to know what he had in mind, you let him pull you along, following him quietly up until the moment he stopped. A ferris wheel. You should’ve know. As you sat there in the little cabin, you had tons of time to talk about the evening and how it went. The excitement in your voice made Daehyun happy to the point where he just wanted to start jumping around and screaming at the top of his lungs. He had done it once again, he had made you happy. His goal for the day was accomplished, and he sat there, silently admiring how the wind lightly flowed through your hair, and how beautiful your face looked from the profile. By far the most beautiful feature of yours was your lips, or so he thought at that moment, as he wanted to capture them for a little. “Hey, Daehyun?” “Hmm?” his stare trailed from your lips back to your eyes, and he lowkey hoped you didn’t notice how he looked at your mouth. “Thank you for everything, really. You always do your best to make me smile, and you never fail to do so. I hope you know that I really, really love you,” you told him, biting your lip mid-confession as you felt slightly embarrassed by your bold statement. You were almost at the top of the ferris wheel now, and the whole carnival could be seen from there. Tons of people having a good time, a lot of blinding lights, laughs and music. It was beautiful, and you both were caught slightly off-guard and stopped to admired the sight. “Is this when we’re supposed to kiss?” you said, looking back at him. He turned his head to you, and smiled. You were so grateful for everything at that moment, but most of all you were grateful that life had gifted you with him. He was truly the boy of your dreams, the one who cared about you and the one you cared about the most. “Aren’t you Yongguk biased? Would you really give this honor to me, the not-your-bias one?” he said, making you instantly laugh. Such a salty little tease. “You just wrecked the bias list, babe. Now don’t ruin this and just play along..” He gladly did, going for your lower lip the second your lips touched. He tasted as always, sweeter than you’d imagined before you had kissed him, but you loved the taste of his mouth, so you gladly let him take the lead while you simply enjoyed this kiss. Sinking into the kiss, forgetting about everything that wasn’t related to him seemed like the right thing to do, and you didn’t feel guilty for forgetting the whole world for a second as your fingers tangled into his hair and your other hand made it’s way to rest on his chest, tugging on his shirt a little. He was more important than anything, at least now, so you focused only on his body against yours, his lips softly brushing against your lips and his tight grip on your waist that refused to let you go. He pulled away, but you continued planting small pecks on his soft lips in between his laughter and tries to convince you to stop because people were actually able to see you properly since you were going down now and weren’t on the very top of the ferris wheel anymore. “Ooh, look at those two. All cuddly and lovey-dovey up there,” Youngjae was the first thing you noticed when you both got off the ride. Maybe you shouldn’t have told them about your last stop for the evening. “Ahh, Youngjae hyung, just let them live,” Jongup came up from behind, and Himchan followed soon, walking and talking on the phone. “So, so cute, I’m telling ya. You two should try acting, you looked like you were from a movie,” Youngjae kept teasing, and usually you would turn bright red, but today was different. “Okay, squad assembled, let’s go,” Himchan told everyone as he hung up the phone and started walking in the direction of the car. Jongup was kind enough to take care of teasing Youngjae so you and Daehyun wouldn’t be shamed anymore and could just enjoy your walk to the car and your last few minutes at the carnival. “Thank you,” you simply told Daehyun as you held his hand and made sure to fall back from the other three just enough to have some personal space. “You're always welcome, and you know that,” he smiled at you, and, with the taste of you still lingering on his lips and testing his patience, he gave in to his craving and planted a quick peck on your lips, leaving them to tingle at the sudden pleasant touch. “But I swear, I’m going to kill Youngjae,” he said and made you laugh. “Not without me,” you told him while looking around at the carnival, capturing a few last glances before you had to leave this place. Now, your childhood dream was fulfilled, and on top of that, by your loving boyfriend. Life had gifted you, and you couldn’t be happier as you walked back to the car, knowing that a fun car ride was ahead of you.

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