#literally had me and the whole audience giggling at every single one of his scenes 🙂‍↕️

[supernovafics]

pavements was so so good wow wow wow

[peppymintdreams]

Crime and Idiocracy

Isaac x Pickle

It’s time to relax and Isaac and pickle choose to watch a crime show but everything angers Isaac

It was supposed to be a relaxing evening. Pickle had curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, Isaac lounging beside them, his feet propped up on the coffee table. The two of them had decided on a crime drama something simple to wind down with after a long day. At first, everything seemed fine. The detective had found the first clue, the crime scene was intriguing, and Pickle was getting into it.

But Isaac? Not so much.

"Wait, hold on," Isaac said, frowning at the screen. "Why are they bagging the evidence like that? The glove wasn’t even put in a sealed bag what are they, amateurs?"

Pickle chuckled, shoving a handful of popcorn into their mouth. "It's just a show, Isaac. They can't get everything right."

Isaac sighed, clearly unconvinced, but let it go for now. They watched in silence for a few more minutes, the plot thickening as the lead detective found a suspect, but Isaac’s expression grew darker with every passing second.

"No," he muttered, sitting up a little straighter. "No, no, no, this doesn’t make sense. Why would the killer leave a clue that obvious? That's literally the first thing you’d check! What kind of criminal mastermind are they supposed to be?"

Pickle tried to suppress a laugh. They knew Isaac had a tendency to overthink things, especially when it came to mysteries, but this was next-level frustration. “Maybe it’s a red herring,” they suggested. “You know, to throw the audience off.”

Isaac scoffed. “Throw the audience off? It’s throwing me off. That’s not how real investigations work! The guy would be caught in two seconds. Look at him! He’s practically announcing he did it. And why is the detective just standing there, acting like he’s solved the case already?”

Pickle raised an eyebrow, amused. “You could always turn it off if it’s that bad.”

“No,” Isaac said stubbornly, crossing his arms. “I want to see how much worse this gets.”

Pickle giggled, leaning into him. “You’re such a critic.”

“I’m not being a critic,” Isaac replied, though he was clearly annoyed. “I just hate it when shows don’t even try to be accurate. Like look, they didn’t even take fingerprints from the weapon. How are they going to solve this case if they’re ignoring basic forensics?”

Pickle smiled, resting their head on Isaac’s shoulder. “It’s for entertainment. Not everything has to be realistic.”

But Isaac was far from entertained. The show continued to throw curveballs, none of which seemed logical in Isaac’s eyes. By the time the detective miraculously found the killer based on a single, vague clue, Isaac was practically fuming.

“Are you kidding me?” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “There’s no way he could’ve figured that out from a smudge on a window! They didn’t even check the alibis properly, and somehow they’ve solved the case in one episode? This is nonsense!”

Pickle burst into laughter. “You’re taking this way too seriously,” they teased, nudging him with their elbow. “It’s just a guilty pleasure. It’s not supposed to be perfect.”

Isaac ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. “Guilty pleasure? More like guilty torture. Who writes this stuff? They didn’t even do the bare minimum of research.”

“Maybe they thought no one would notice,” Pickle offered, still chuckling. “But I guess they didn’t expect you to be watching.”

Isaac rolled his eyes, though a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, well, I’d make a much better detective. At least I wouldn’t trip over the obvious clues or let a murderer walk right past me because I’m too busy brooding about my tragic backstory.”

Pickle snuggled closer, trying to stifle their amusement. “You’d probably solve the whole thing in five minutes and ruin the suspense.”

“I’d rather solve it in five minutes than spend an hour watching someone bungle their way through it,” Isaac muttered, though he seemed to be relaxing a bit now, the initial anger fading. “At least try to make it believable.”

“Maybe next time we’ll watch something more up your alley,” Pickle suggested. “Like a documentary or something with actual facts.”

Isaac let out a soft chuckle, wrapping an arm around them. “I think that’d be better for my sanity. But if you really want to watch this ridiculous stuff, I guess I can put up with it… for you.”

Pickle smiled, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. “It’s not about the show, anyway. It’s about spending time together.”

Isaac glanced down at them, the frustration in his eyes replaced by something softer. “You know what? You’re right. As long as I’m watching it with you, I guess I can tolerate the nonsense.”

Pickle grinned and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Good. But next time, you’re picking the show.”

Isaac smirked, already thinking of something more to his taste. “Deal. Just don’t be surprised if I pick something with actual logic.”

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

[gojology]

Jealousy. (3/3)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS AND I RLLY LOVED HOW THE ENDING WENT BUT IF U WANT ME TO WRITE A LITTLE EXTRA OF WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARDS JUST SPAM MY INBOX K THX ENJOY!!!! 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Teen! Gojo x Gender Neutral Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 2286 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | Cursing.  ALL CHARACTERS HERE ARE AGED DOWN FROM PRESENT ANIME/MANGA INTO WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS. 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | Your plan with Geto finally unfolds, and Geto thinks with the information he has gathered, that it’s a perfect time for you to confess to Gojo. Shoko answers your suspicions about her and Gojo before Geto crashes the scene, telling you last second that he had set you up with Gojo for a confession, you had almost no time to prepare. Before you could even hold a proper scolding, Gojo arrives, it’s time to confess.    “Okay, here’s the plan.”     Geto slapped his hand onto the table, handing you a fizzy drink. You watched the bubbles rapidly float upwards. Inside, there’s various fruits, strawberries, kiwis, some lemons for added fanciness.     “(Y/N), the drink is not what we’re focusing on.” he snaps his fingers, you glance up, he’s shaking his head and smiling.     “Sorry, uh, I’m not good with serious conversations.” you twiddle with your thumbs, studying the table. Your fingers itch for your something to fidget with, the whole reason why you two met up was awkward anyways.     You had conspired with Geto to make Gojo jealous. Having already tried being subtle, you had eyed him across the room, flirted with him, and he still hadn’t realized. You had bought him free stuff whenever you went to the store, and once again, he never really realized. Geto did, though. He always raised his eyebrows when you handed Gojo a bag of kikufuku from his favorite shop, or if you got him a stupid cheap trinket from the night markets.     The point being, you were much more affection with Gojo then anyone else.    Even when you tried to conceal this jealousy, the cracking point was when you had found out that Gojo had gone out with Geto the night before and had sex with a few random girls.    You had chewed Geto and Gojo both out, while Gojo was yawning and tousling his hair, boredom evident in his face, Geto examined every single little thing about your body language. How your face seemed to drop a little more when you talked about Gojo, and how you seemed so self conscious when you talked about the girls that he had had fun with.     He had approached you, with no time for small talk. His arms crossed, he blew a strand of hair away from his face, looking at you. He had oh so casually asked you if you had a thing for Satoru, and here you were now. Just short of having a heart attack from sheer panic.     “Hey. Don’t be scared.” placing one of his hands on your shoulder, he smiles. “I know Gojo, did I ever tell you how we compared dick sizes once? Wild, I’ve also had a few foursomes-”     You retch, and Geto snickers.     “Moving on, that guy gets jealous EASILY. He’s also as dumb as a rock, probably can’t define the word love.” he looks down, the easygoing expression on his face wiped off, replaced with a rather saddened one, “but I guess he hasn’t experienced the feeling a lot.”     He looks back up at you, brushing his bangs behind his ear. “This brings me to Operation: Make Gojo Jealous Because That’s The Only Way I Know How To Get Him To Realize If He Likes You or Not!”     He leans over the table, looking left and right before leaning into your ear. “What do we say if Gojo doesn’t like you back?”     Your stomach twists as the words, “Gojo doesn’t like you back.” echoed in your mind, you sigh.     “That’s okay Gojo, and whatever your opinion is, I will respect.”     “Perfect, if you have any objections, tell me now.”     A deafening silence settles between you two, he chuckles again.     “Also, Shoko’s smart as shit. She can probably catch on, or maybe she already knows that you have a crush on him. Maybe she’ll play into this, fair warning. Alright, ready? Listen close.”     He stops leaning over the table, sitting back down normally.     “We start spending a lot more time with each other, as in, we spend more than half of our day with one another.” you open your mouth to complain, as Geto would be sure to annoy you knowing that you had to spend half the fucking day with you, but he shushes you up with his finger.    “I’m a good stalker, so I’ll be watching Gojo. If he doesn’t have a crush on you, he’ll be just fine. Albeit, just a bit lonelier, because his best bud is ditching him for you, maybe talk to Shoko or some shit. If he DOES in fact have a crush on you, he’ll watch our every move. He doesn’t hide his anger very well, so I’ll be able to tell.”     “You’re a good WHAT?”     “Shut up, and I have everything planned out. We’ll probably have a celebration at this park after we get back from wiping out all the curses from this village, and by then I’ll have enough information to see if that’s a good day to confess to him. Understand?”     You nod, shocked that he had literally planned this all out. He gets up, nodding at you and waving, giving you a playful wink before leaving the room.  —        Here you were now, sitting on the picnic blanket. Shoko digs her hand into her pocket, pulling out a few cigarettes.     You eye them as she whips out a lighter, delicately placing the cigarette into her mouth and lighting it. Taking in a deep breath, you watch her exhale, a hazy cloud of gray swirled around into the air.    You never took Shoko as a person to smoke, but your gut wrenches. Does Gojo like smokers? He seemed interested in Shoko, and maybe Shoko was trying to confess with him before you and Geto had crashed the party.     Nervously shoving the marble in your ramune down, you stutter, Shoko glanced up. Her lukewarm eyes stared into yours.     “Have a question, honey?” her cigarette between her pointer and index, she coughs before placing it back into her mouth.     “Uh, yeah. A-actually.”     A pleasantly surprised face covered her calm expression, looking at you with curiosity, she nods, telling you to continue.     “...Do you have a crush on Gojo?”     She looks at you, bewildered, before pulling the cigarette out of her mouth. Chortling turning into coughing, she spits into the grass.     “Oh NO honey, I can’t even picture dating a guy, actually, especially not that monkey. What made you think that?”    Waves of relief rushed over your body, and you realize how stiffly you were sitting up. Relaxing your shoulders, you take a swig out of your ramune.     “Uh, I-I don’t know. I saw you two u-uh... Really close...”     Shoko smiles, her eyes crinkle at the side as she did. Scoffing a little, she places the cigarette back between her lips, taking a deep inhale before exhaling.     “We were talking about shit, no bother, oh hey, Geto’s back.”     You stare at where she’s pointing, Geto’s hands were shoved deep into his pockets. He had a toothy grin on his face, and strands of hair strayed from his bun as the wind whipped against him.     “(Y/N)! I have news~!” he screams, approaching the picnic with long strides.     Your heart jumps out of your chest, did he talk for you instead, and got Gojo to confess?     “I set you and Gojo up!” he sang, sitting down with a heavy thud and digging his hand into the picnic basket, sticking his tongue out as he searched for snacks. He looks at you sadistically, thoroughly enjoying the shocked expression on your face.     “WHAT?”     Shoko snickers a little, before changing it into a cough as you glare at her.     “Yep, he’s coming back now, so you better prepare!” yanking out a snack, he peers down. “Fuck yeah! Dried squid!”     “ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING IGNORE HOW YOU JUST SET UP MY CONFESSION WITH GOJO SO CASUALLY?”     He looks up at you, sharing a look with Shoko before both burst into laughter.     “(Y/N) being angry is a fucking knee slapper, isn’t it Shoko?”     ‘Who the fuck uses the phrase knee slapper, Geto?”    Ignoring Shoko’s sarcastic comment, Geto stared up at your figure. “Anyways, go for it sweetheart.” Geto calmly responds, Shoko still laughing.     You splutter, cursing Geto under your breath and everyone under his family tree for raising such a child.     “Aw hey now (Y/N), no cursing me! I know you’re doing it, and hey look, here he comes! Shoo lovebirds!” he waves his hand. Shoko, in an attempt to calm down, pulled her knee into her chest and giggled into her arms.    You match your line of sight with his, Gojo’s lanky build was quickly approaching. Instead of his usually scowling face, he seemed more relaxed.     “Yo.” he scratched the back of his neck as he walked up to the group, studying the grass. “Sorry for blowing up.”     Geto stood up, patting Gojo’s back. “There there, truthfully no one gives a fuck! Actually, I don’t know if you remember but (Y/N) over here requested your audience, bye bye now!” shoving Gojo in your direction, he stumbled a little, before scrambling and placing his hands on your shoulder.     ‘Sorry.” he murmured, a light blush crept up to his cheeks. “had to try to grab onto something or else I fall flat on my face.”     You found your cheeks also getting warm, you touched your skin, thankful that he was looking in another direction.     “Yeah. No problem.”     “Fuck off, you two! Flirt somewhere else!” hollered Geto.    “OKAY, HOLY SHIT!” hollered Gojo back, rolling his eyes before he looked down at you.     “Geto told me you wanted to talk to me about something.”     Your breath hitched, and you nodded nervously, he cleared his throat, arm snaking around your waist.     Shocked by the sudden realization that he had his arm wrapped around your fucking waist, your heart was now pounding out of your chest, eyes wide.     “The plot thickens.” Shoko lazily laid her head down on Geto’s shoulder, he grinned.     “That’s my fucking child right there.”  —    Gojo walked with you on a long, narrow path. Trees as a sort of canopy hung over your head, rustling with the wind. No people in sight.     He cleared his throat again, looking down at you.     “Uh, here looks really nice. Pretty peaceful, and there’s seating.” he gestured to a bench with his unoccupied hand.    You nod as he pulled you a bit closer into him, before letting go.     A whine almost leapt out of your throat before he slammed your hands over your mouth, for all you knew he wasn’t going to ask you out, and rather ask you directions to the nearest bathroom or some shit.     “Hey, sit down.”     Snapping out of your daze, you nodded, sitting down and staring at the opposite direction of wherever he faced.     You wished you had the courage to stare at his face, to look at his sunglasses while he ruffled his snow white locks. His defined collarbones, and his chiseled jawline and...     “So! What did you wanna talk about, (Y/N)?” you whipped your head to stare at him, jumping a little as you did so.     “Um.” FUCK, what were you supposed to say?     “...Lovely weather we’re having?”     Gojo scoffed, leaning towards you. He really did know how to work a person. Breathing heavier then you were when he pulled you closer to him, you looked at him, anticipating whatever he would say.     “I know that’s... Not what you were asking to talk to me for. Let me guess, you have a crush on Geto and you want to ask me how to get him to like you?”     ‘What! No!” you responded exasperatedly, hiding your face with your hands.     “I... Don’t have a thing for Geto!”     “What was that?” Gojo paused, before pulling at your sleeve. “Hey, I couldn’t hear you.” joking teasingly, he fixed his askew sunglasses.    “I DON’T HAVE A THING FOR GETO!”     He jumped back, rubbing his temples and sighing before chuckling.     “You didn’t have to be that fucking loud! Holy shit that hurt my ears.” rubbing them, he looked at you with a laugh.     You noted that his friendly behavior was back in business, as opposed to the serious one he had adopted as soon as you started hanging out with Geto.     Suddenly, the atmosphere changed as his laughter died out, both of you silent.     “Then... Who do you have a thing for?” Gojo whispered breathily, crossing his legs.     You opened your mouth, about to respond with every bit of power that you had left inside of your already frazzled body that he was the one that you had a thing for, and the one you had a thing for for multiple fucking months. You closed it before you could, taking a deep breath in.     “Hey.” leaning closer into your face, you swore you could count every hair strand that he had. He breathed heavily as well, and his chest heaved, he placed a hand onto your shoulder.     “It’s okay, you can tell me.”     You shook your head, looking away once again.     He cursed to himself, was he too straight forward? Or were you that stupid, did he have to confess himself?     No, he didn’t want to damage his pride. He wanted you to confess, to tell him how much you loved him, and the things you wanted to do together.     But what if you were going to tell him that you had a thing for Shoko or some shit?     “Come on, (Y/N), I won’t judge you.”     ‘No!” you shook your head furiously again, “you’re going to judge me!”     “I wont, come on, spill!”     You bit your lip, twisting yourself to look at him, tears dawning on your eyes. Diving headfirst into his chest, you whined. Fuck it all.    “I like you, Gojo.”     “...What?” he wrapped his arms around your head, looking down at you sniffling on his t-shirt.     “I like you, I like you, I like you DAMN IT!” you whined, banging your fists against his chest weakly.     “Woah, hey there little baby.” he pushed your head gently off of him, kissing your red, sweating forehead gently.     “I like you too, (Y/N).    

[lovecolibri]

So happy that I found your blog, bless you and your anons. Honestly i'd like to meeting the writers that thought it was a good idea to focus 5a on a character that nobody can even stand, instead of seein chim being a single working father maybe bonding with eddie, karen a beloved character since s1, ravi... I don't care about T, her father, her mother, her dog, her boss her aunt, her trauma nothing. And I hope in 5b the writers won't write more eps like 5x9-10

Where the only thing they made buck do was going after her for all america like a lost puppy and instead of worring for chris he spent 20 mins trying to find her present, and again he could have got her a crocodile and I still wouldn't care. I hope this hiatus cured their obsession with the reporter. Again thank you for your lovely blog and please rant about b/t whenever you want😘

Awww, thanks Nonnie, and I have been sitting on this for ages so I hope you manage to see it! I also do not care a single iota about her job, how she does it, how she feels about doing it, or anything about her family, and I'm eternally bitter we had to suffer through her taking up as much screen time as she did rather than seeing other calls (Ghost Roommate my beloved 😭😭😭), and other characters/dynamics.

I will say that I get what they are going for with the bt relationship with regards to Buck and his character growth but they managed to get the point across with Ana just fine so IDK why we needed all this background and screen time for a guest star. I will say it again, and forever, in a year when people are re-watching season 5, no one is going to care that the original air date was a week after Halloween, no one is going to care about seeing a side character investigating a call that has nothing to do with the firefam (that her involvement didn't even impact, because Lou already found the motel on his own and then the "hitman" confessed so....what did she even contribute?), and no one is going to care about seeing her backstory that also has nothing to do with the firefam or Buck.

Like, we didn't see all that much from Shannon but what we did see was directly relational to Eddie and Chris. We didn't get any backstory on her except in regards to how her choices affected Eddie and Chris because she wasn't ever meant to stick around. I don't know if killing her off was always the plan, but having her come back into and then leave their lives in the same season? It had to be part of the season outline. So we did see about her made sense because it was about Chris and Eddie, not about her.

Now, even the reporter's backstory was still framed from Buck's POV (we don't see her in a scene alone about it, we don't see her meeting with/talking to her dad or the lawyer or anything) it was still a whole bunch of stuff that's not directly relational to Buck and to his story, and the bigger plotlines for the show. That means, you can remove those scenes about her and not lose any of the threads of the show. And honestly, you could entirely remove every single one of her scenes for the entirety of 5a and...not lose much if anything important. The only thing I can think of that crosses over into the main plotlines are Buck thinking they are breaking up, and the Christmas gifts, which if they peppered in comments about a gf without showing her (like they did with Ali in season 2) and then had literally any random woman in 5x10 the story for Buck would be basically the same.

I have to say your crocodile comment made me think of 2x06 and the lizard that seemed to have a thing for her and it made me giggle! I also hope that their obsession with her is over now that Maddie and Chim (and baby Jee!) and Albert are all back. And after the way even the general audience has been frothing at the mouth to see her leave, fingers crossed she won't ever come back.

Thanks for the ask, sorry it took so long to respond to, and you are always welcome to come flail or rant with me in my inbox!

[fakeloveaskblog]

Janus, have you and Remus hung out other then when you go to fake therapy? You should ask him out? Keep it open, maybe not outright ask him for a date but to hang out!

(Words: 2140)

Janus: "Oh you know me anon. I am so totally known for asking people to hang out. Yes me and Remus have been eeeverywhere together /s No we have never hung out.......But I suppose you have been very wise so far. So I shall try and go ut of my comfort zone and ask him he would like to spend time together"

They were in that same spot they always stood after the fake therapy. Where they were supposed to part ways. Remus had his phone out, checking the bus times. Janus knew he had to say something now or else yet another week would pass and he would never have the courage to ask.

"Do ehm is you- fuck-" Janus wanted to smash his head open on a rock. He was a idiotic mess who couldn't even say a simple sentence.

"What?" Remus looked at him with a smile. Jan swore he had specifically practiced that smile so it made him melt internally every single time.

"Do you maybe possibly have anything to do today?"

"Oh yeah all booked up with exorcising demons out of old ladies' houses. you know how it is!" He let out a short screechy laugh "Come on Snakey y'know I don't have a job or any plans on robbing banks right now. Of course I'm free!"

"Noted. Then I am totally not asking you to perhaps do something like going to the movies?"

Remus' eyes widened and he shone up into a huge toothy smile "YES!" He grabbed Janus' hand while flapping with his other hand "You gotta be psychic or something! I've been wanting to see this movie made by a director I'm hyperfixating on but I didn't wanna go alone and my sister is still out of town SO this is great!!"

He didn't waste another second. He dragged Janus with him as he began to very quickly walk while continuing to stim.

All Janus could do was stare at their hands. Their palms pressed against each other. His love's thumb brushing up and down his skin. He had never been happier over forgetting his gloves at home.

His cheeks stayed rosy red the entire walk. It was like walking on air. He didn't even realize Remus was still speaking until they got the cinema.

"-And that's why I thought it would have been better if the hamster had died!" He concluded.

".............Fascinating" Janus replied hoping it was a good answer.

"I know right!"

He looked down and realized they were still holding hands. His happy expression instantly dropped as he let go of Janus like he was made of fire.

"Oh fuck buckets! I should have asked if you were okay with like ehhh touch beforehand! Now you're gonna cut my head off!" Remus gasped out.

"Indeed, I do now hate you and I have already hired an assassin to kill you" Janus replied sarcasticly "It's okay, I promise"

Remus let out a breathe of relief in the most cartoon balloon leaking air way possible. "Neat!"

It was 3 pm on a Thursday so there weren't any people in line. Remus didn't even give his friend a chance to pay for his own ticket. He also got a big ass popcorn and a bag of eyeball candies.

He dumped the snacks into the arms of Janus as his eyes caught on a poster on the wall advertising another movie. He jumped up and down while pointing at it, like the excitement was too much to be contained in his body.

"It's my sister! She told me she would be in this one!" The poster didn't show the actresse's face since she had on a cloke to look dark and myserious (tm) "That's her I swear on the last human tooth I have!"

"I believe you. You could be her perfect stunt double"

Remus shoot his arms out "That's what I've been saying too!!! You really are a psychic! Being a stunt double is literally the dream job! I get to pretend to be killed in so many ways! I get to jump off of buildings!! Sadly she mostly does dramas and romances and all that boring stuff"

"Well I for one would love seeing you get stabbed on film" He held his hand over his heart as he said it.

"Omg snakey!! Thank you!! Means a lot!"

He had that wide smile on his lips again. Janus wished he was able to make him smile like that every day.

"Oh the movie is starting soon! Ahhhh exciting! Horror really is the best genre!"

Janus paled "Horror?"

"Yeah! I told you all about the movie on the way here remember? You're okay with horror right?"

"O-Of course! I have watched halloween alien on elm street like 5 times!" He lied.

Remus chuckled "Sure sounds like it"

They went into the screening room. Ads were running on the big screen. They were the only ones there. Remus found their seats right at the back in a corner. He sat down and triumphantly put his feet on the seat in front of him.

"Look at that snakey! We've got the whole room to ourselves! Only...."

His eyes suddenly stopped and shifted to stare out into air. His happy expression slowly disappeared leaving a hollow look on his face. He moved his legs up to his chest and sat completely still.

".....Only us......"

Janus slumped down in the seat next to his. Remus leaned away in his seat so he was further from his friend.

"Indeed. I could poison you and no one would be here to stop me. But I won't...yet" He hoped a joke would make his love lighten up again.

Remus forced a halfhearted smile "Sure that"

The movie started. Janus was already stress eating popcorn from fear by the time the first scene had ended. Which only made him even more stressed over making Remus think he was a fat gluttonous disgusting mess! Which he was! But he didn't want him to know that!!

Whenever he glanced over to Remus he looked just the same, As if the movie was fucking mamma mia or something.

He didn't want to seem unclassy and close his eyes like a 5 year old so he tried to comb his hair in front of his eyes instead. He couldn't stop his racing heartbeat or his unsteady hands though. He didn't do well to loud sounds. Or screaming voices.

He jumped in his chair at an extra gory scare. The popcorn landed all over his body. His cheeks went red enough to be mistaken for a ladybug.

Remus glanced over at him "You don't have to hide that you're scared y'know. The audience reaction is like half the fun"

"Me? Scared? I haven't felt scared since I buried a body in 1967! This is just how I show my appreciation for movies!" He blurted out the lie in a panic.

His love threw his head back as he let out a loud laugh. He couldn't stop as he buried his head in his hands. His shoulders moved in rhytm to his giggles. It seemed to calm his nerves a bit.

"Holy shit snakey that was such a horrible lie! You're such a dork! I say that with affection I promise"

Janus couldn't help but chuckle along "Dork actually means something really dirty. I know since I was practically married to my dictionary when I was youn-"

"WHALE PENIS! I know!! You're the first one who also knows!"

"I suppose that means we're soulmates now" Janus couldn't help but say it.

"Penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "Yes"

In the movie a man's torso was ripped from his body. Remus flapped his hands. Janus let out a quiet whimper.

"I could infodump a bit if that would make you less scared"

Janus leaned closer to respond but Remus instantly flinched back. He made sure to keep keeping his distance "I would love to hear"

He shone up into a smile. It wasn't quite as carefree and happy as the other ones but it was still his smile and Janus had caused it. It made him feel warm.

He started rambling about the director's other movies and how the themes tied in with this movie. About how the director had studied to be a doctor so he know enough about biology to make all of the gore extra realistic. About how the movie soundtrack's added to the scare even though they were often silly. All while stimming. Sometimes he went quiet to focus on the film while Janus curled in on himself and closed his eyes.

Honestly Janus could have heard him go on for hours but sadly the movie eventually ended. And they eventually got out of the cinema. And eventually the snacks the shared while sitting on a bench outside also ended. And the conversation died out.

It was only around 5 pm but the sky had already started to darken. The streetlamps were getting lit one by one, and a few people were standing in line for the next movie. Janus feared having to say goodbye.

Luckily he didn't have to as Remus quietly asked "Could you like follow me home? The apartement is only 15 minutes and a minor murder spree away"

"Of course!" He replied a bit too excitedly.

He made sure to not walk too close as to not make him flinch again. Remus started to subconsciously hymm on a song after some time of silence. Janus couldn't stop feeling over the moon at the fact that he was hanging out with someone! And he seemed to like him!! And he was in love with him no less!!!

"Snakey I think I gotta admit something kinda dorky-"

"Is it the murder in 1967? We've all been there"

"Actually it was in 1987. Okay but really.....The only friends I've ever really had has been my sister and my ex, and some online friends here and there I guess but we lost contact really quickly. What I mean is that I'm really rusty on this whole friend thing and I'm just glad that you don't get annoyed by my infodumping or stimming or....or the whole me!"

Janus' eyes widened and he slowly let up into a laugh "Oh! Oh I have been so worried for nothing then! I've never had any friends, at all! This was literally the first time I ever went to a movie with another person! We're the same!"

Remus giggled "We really are penis soulmates!"

"I am begging you to not let that become a thing"

"Too late! It already is! We're both friendless dorks you motherfucker!! Of course we're penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "I am suddenly so glad we are close to your place so I can get away from you.....That was a lie"

Remus lightly punched his shoulder "Better be. Or else I'd have to kidnap you!"

He stopped in front of a series of building of obviously quite glamorous apartements. Janus was honestly starting to wonder if he had a sugar daddy and or sold drugs. Or else he had no idea how he could afford all of this.

They stopped right in front of the entrance. Remus crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Janus fiddled with his sleeves. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye.

Janus shuly glanced at his love's face. His birtmarks which he so wanted to press kisses to. His fluffy hair he would love to nuzzle into. His full lips which he thought about running his finger over every time he looked at them. He was beautiful. Just beautiful.

"Sooo....I guess I will either see you in hell or in fake therapy next week?" Remus asked.

"For sure"

He awkwardly opened the door "Well I will see you then then!" He did fingerguns "Bye penis soulmate!"

Janus rolled his eyes while waving "Bye.....phallus companion!"

The door closed and he was left in the silence. It took a few second and then

"YES! OH I did it! I survived! Aphrodite would be so proud of me!!"

Janus had to sit down. He was going to explode. He couldn't stop moving his hands around. He was going to pass out. He had never been happier. He deserved a whole soup bowl of ice cream.

He took off his beanie to drag his hand through his hair. He felt breathless from happiness as he stared up at the sky. He had never felt more in love.

He looked at where he imagined you would stand if you had a corporeal body.

"So I suppose your advice worked quite well. It did sound like he wanted to hang out again...So anon....or whatever voice that is in my head that asks me things......Do you have any suggestions on what we should do on our next hangout?"

[beckydoesthings]

various fics of hxl that i adore reading! this list is quite lengthy, but feel free to message me if you have any questions!

*will continue to be updated. also, if i mistagged you, i apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

Love Is a Rebellious Bird

E | 134k | @100percentsassy and gloria_andrews

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

i think this tickled every bone of my musical self and also made me cry (are you seeing a theme here??) one of the first fics i fell in love with and one i keep coming back to.

Collision

E | 226k | @tequiladimples

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

the world building in this one is insanity - so much good mythology mixed in and it made me screech with joy. i think i can firmly say that i did not expect where the plot went, but that made the story so much better.

Flour and Chocolate

M | 145k | @danosphere91

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

OR

Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

the miscommunication in this fic is SO REAL and makes for a good read. the rest of the flour and chocolate series is also fantastic. i thoroughly enjoyed both the ziam and ed/niall arcs that bring the whole story together.

run away home

E | 106k | @hattalove

Louis stands, in the middle of a clearing with his hands in his pockets, and stares. This boy—God, this gorgeous, gorgeous boy. He seems so clumsy, confused at the best of times, but there’s a wisdom about him as he speaks, a maturity that belies his age.

Louis is hopelessly, wildly attracted to him.

or, louis is a successful jockey down on his luck, struggling to get his life back on track after an injury. harry has a horse, a house fit for a prince, and a broken heart.

it takes them a while to figure out that they need each other.

this makes my inner horse girl extraordinarily happy - even if i don’t know anything about horse racing. louis’ story in this is beautiful and makes the whole piece worth a read.

waiting for the tides to meet

E | 60k | @nauticalleeds

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

gorgeous soulmate AU that gives me summer cruising vibes. worth the read for the lettuce scene alone (i kid, i kid)

Do Not Go Gentle

E | 70k | @afirethatcannotdie

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

okay i’ve watched maybe 3 episodes of Gray’s Anatomy, but i feel like this encompasses the vibe of the show: medical stuff with a hefty dose of angst and sexual tension

Falling For Me Won’t Be A Mistake

M | 58k | @all-these-larrythings

Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

one of my favorite mpreg fics so if that’s not your cup of tea, then don’t read it. i love surgeon harry with a vengeance, but honestly Gems and Niall are iconic in this one.

Watching the World Fall

E | 11k | @crazyupsetter why won’t it let me tag :(

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

i have a soft spot the size of Antarctica for Late Late AU fics (we stan James Corden) and for exes to lovers so this checks all the boxes.

autumn leaves

E | 27k | @suspendrs

“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”

“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.

“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

love love french AUs and while this one isn’t sunshine and rainbows, it’s a beautiful yet heart wrenching piece. warning for period typical homophobia

caught up in your love affair

NR | 8k | @disgruntledkittenface

“And the corgis took to you straightaway,” Harry remarks.

“That’s true,” Louis chuckles.

 “I’ve spent the last 29 years being barked at,” Harry deadpans, jerking his hand toward Louis, “this one walks in, absolutely nothing.”

Louis outright giggles at that, saying, “They were just lying on my feet during tea.”

“Wagging tails,” Harry says, shaking his head.

“It’s because they don’t understand flirting,” Louis tells him, “you can’t charm them the way you do everyone else.”

Royal AU. Prince Harry announces his engagement to Louis Tomlinson in an interview with longtime friend and BBC host Nick Grimshaw. Inspired by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

just. 8k of royal fluff. that’s literally it and i adore it so much.

Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You)

M | 54k | @rainbowsandgucci

”Due to unforeseen circumstances, help is needed here at the orchard for the impending apple season. Looking for someone able to start within the next week or two at the most, is willing to do whatever miscellaneous tasks are needed, such as picking & packing apples, running the cash register, and other handywork that may need to be done. Must be good with customers, and able to lift up to 50lbs. Help will be needed until at the least the end of October. Please contact the number found on this page, or come out to the orchard and ask for Harry. All the love xx” --- Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles. Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn. He also starts to fall in love with Harry. Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

i never thought i would enjoy an apple orchard fic?? but it’s so good?? farmer harry makes me laugh to think about, but the heartbreak in this fic is so. real.

Mine Would Be You

E | 114k | @crinkle-eyed-boo

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

exes to lovers drama but make it extra sad. the fact that we see so many facets to this story just makes it all the more painful, yet beautiful. this fic also reminds me of how much i love one mister niall horan.

One for Luck

E | 96k | @leavingonatrain

The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles' deep, deep voice, he's just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he's officially back on Great Britain's Olympic team. He's also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there's a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life's grand.

(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)

again, i know nothing about horses, but i like to pretend i do for the sake of this fic. it’s beautiful, it’s smutty what else could you ask for?

Nothing But You On My Mind

E | 83k | @absoloutenonsense

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

i absolutely. definitely. sobbed tears at this fic. it’s just so beautifully painful to read. don’t want to spoil anything, but this is a must.

Adore You

M | 67k | @isthatyoularry

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

i strongly relate to harry in this one! one of my favorite historical AUs and honestly i love the thought of louis in well fitting suits.

leave it to the breeze

E | 81k | @hattalove

Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.

or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

i. love. the. great british baking show. baking + h&l is amazing. and another reminder as to why niall is the absolute best.

Paint The Sky With Stars

M | 62k | @icanhazzalou grrr let me tag

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

gorgeous historical fic that’s so accurate and painstakingly written. i keep coming back to it!

When It’s Late At Night

M | 25k | @all-these-larrythings

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

remember when i said i love Late Late AUs? yeah. i love that louis gives absolutely zero shits in this fic until he gives all the shits.

Chasing Empty Spaces

E | 79k | @domestic-harry

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

gorgeous historical AU that goes through Harry’s struggle with his sexuality wonderfully. this one also made me cry.

Resist Everything Except Temptation

E | 100k | @domestic-harry

The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him.

“Captain,” Malik greeted.

Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it.

Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles.

OR

The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.

love this pirate AU that’s got one badass gemma styles. also, harry as a super cool pirate in gorgeous clothes makes me super happy!

i’ll make this feel like home

E | 49k

Harry to groans himself and then takes a deep breath. “Okay, well. Here’s the thing. I peed on a stick.”

Louis isn’t able to get more than a shocked “What!” out before Harry’s steamrolling on.

“I peed on a stick and it says it’s positive, but you always prattle on about how it’s best to go to the doctor’s before you get excited, you know to confirm it because sometimes hormones are off or you have like a tumor or some shit and get false positives and what if I’m dying and-”

“You’re pregnant?!” Louis shouts out, stomach dropping as the words leave his mouth.

“Um, yeah… maybe.”

[the one where Louis' hopelessly in love with his best mate... who just happens to be pregnant with another man's baby.]

baby momma harry with hot mess!Louis is a recipe for disaster, but this one has plenty of fluff to make up for it.

Hands Clasped Tight

E | 44k | @afirethatcannotdie

“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.

“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.

“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.

“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”

“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”

Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.

love love teacher harry and louis that’s mostly funny fluff with a little angst. just a teeny amount. reminds me of my own experiences with meddling students haha.

*updated 2/16/21*

[sweetrupturedlight]

This week on Sen Çal Kapımı

Serkan and Eda tell the whole world they’re in love while tensions run high as Selin and Efe create jealousy and doubt. Oh, and maybe they definitely, kinda, probably had s*x?

We kick off the episode with Eda clearly upset and a little jealous that she’s been left by herself as Serkan went to find the dumped Selin. To be honest, I wasn’t as mad about Serkan going after Selin as I thought I would be. They do have a long history. And if there’s one thing this episode did well, its show that Serkan’s understanding and compassion with regards to Selin’s situation - and her selling of the shares - is all because of Eda’s influence on him. Serkan of old would most likely have been cold and clinical, factual in his dealings with Selin - most likely blaming her and raking her across the coals for her mistake. This Serkan is supportive, kind and compassionate. There was nothing romantic about it - he was being a good friend. Truth be told, I really liked that character development. As for Selin, she annoys the heck out of me, but it’s clear she knows how very much he loves Eda. Girl has no chance in hell of winning him back.

In any case, one thing this show does well is not dwelling on drama for too long. I appreciate this. No sooner had Serkan realised Eda was jealous, than he allayed her fears about how he’s proverbially handcuffed to her side. Listen, Serkan’s love language towards Eda is affirmation. He spends the entire episode reassuring her that she means the world to him, that he wants to be with only her, that he wishes they could run away and be together. For this reason, Eda displaying repeated bouts of jealousy felt a little excessive. Yes, seeing him with Selin is annoying. But she is very aware of the context - they are fighting for control of the company - and what he is saying to Selin (within context) isn’t romantic in any way. “I need you” [to help me fight for my company] is vastly different from “I need you” [in my life because I have feelings for you]. And Serkan was clearly firmly operating within the space of the former. The writers were playing some cheap tricks and I wish they would do better.

Vulnerable Serkan is fast becoming one of my favourite aspects of the show. They’re really putting a lot into his development from “robot” to “human”. This is why I really appreciated the moments between him and Leyla. They’re one of my favourite side-pairings and seeing their relationship progress from her essentially being thankful for being fired in the first episode - to vowing to remain within his employ no matter what - was kind of awesome to see. Next step: he hugs her back.

We could talk about Efe, but honestly, the romance between Eda and Serkan is so solid at this point, his presence is not (I don’t believe) to create an alternative romance. I think he represents Italy and education - two things Serkan supports fully. So let’s hope he finds romance elsewhere and like most things, his storyline is wrapped up quickly.

Finally, the argument in the office. I might be in the minority, but I absolutely loved this scene. It’s one of my favourites in the episode because I’ve been waiting for them to have their first disagreement as a couple. The tension had been ramping up all episode - with Serkan and Eda both having to give in to the demands of the others’ family - as well as their inability to spend quality time together without being interrupted by some crisis or another.

Serkan is keenly aware of how much Italy means to Eda. And while he supports her dream, he is also a little insecure. Seeing Efe offer her an opportunity to pursue her studies - while battling the green-eyed monster - pushes them both into a petty argument. Eda accusing Serkan of not being serious about leaving no doubt stems from her conversation with his mother, where she was told about his duties and responsibilities in Turkey. To Serkan, her accusation clearly hurt him deeply. And I really love the choice the writers made to have him quietly exit the conversation. Lord, I felt that. Because Serkan is a fighter. He gives as good as he gets and we’ve seen him go toe to toe with Eda every-single-week. Him walking out - to me - is indicative of his hurt, disappointment and frustration. He was planning a romantic getaway, he bought a home, was planning on opening an office in Rome - and yet the woman he is doing all of this for literally accuses him of being frivolous and insincere. Ouch. 

And I think this is why Eda realises her mistake immediately. Serkan fights, he doesn’t give up. And her words made him give up. Her surprise and then her regret is written on her face the minute she realises that he’s leaving - and I think she panics. Its why she follows him immediately and doesn’t let it fester.

The final scene was shot beautifully, but holy sh*t can we get a proper love scene? We’ve had three (?) scenes of them waking up beside each other. Why cut an essential scene like that from this episode, which is clearly meant to indicate a step forward in their shared intimacy??? When I tell you I was frustrated, you have no idea! I raged. I want cute morning cuddles and adorable giggles on their respective pillows dammit. Don’t disappoint me writers! So get to writing what we need.

Also, Eda is clearly talking to Serkan in that curtain hurricane scene. I would have loved to get the actual dialogue. Did she apologise? Did he apologise? Did the both basically just ramble on about what idiots they’re being and how very much they love each other? I mean the audience demands an answer!

Things I loved about this episode:

The handholding. It just doesn’t get old. It’s their thing and I love it.

Aydan and Ayfer collectively freaking out. The “lets team up to break them up” is amusing. I hope it doesn’t get tired soon.

Eda telling the girls. What.An.Adorable.Scene. I knew Melo was #TeamSerkan. Hande was also fantastic in all her breathless, giddy delight.

Both Eda and Serkan telling their respective parents that they’ve in love and that they should basically suck it up. The comedy of it all was gold.

The scene with Eda planting copious kisses on Serkan’s cheek. THIS IS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR YES PLEASE MORE I NEED. #FlingsSelfIntoTheSun

Eda feeding Serkan those fries. GOLD.

Things that confused me:

Why Piril is even chasing Engin at this point?

Ferit spilling all the beans without even being drunk? Does this man have no filter? WTF

I don’t like Papa Bolat. I’ve tried. But everything about him rubs me the wrong way. His mistake, his secret - yet Serkan needs to pay for it. The entire debacle reeks of selfishness and I just hate it.

The editing was choppy this epi. The dialogue also not as crisp as usual. I imagine they’re working like crazy to get these episodes out. I’m hopeful the standards can remain excellent.

Things I know is coming:

Pain and heartache

Kisses and cuddles

And most importantly:

Did they have s*x???

#FlingsSelfIntoTheEverLovingSun #NotPrepared

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Nine

~something special~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warning: mild language, brief depiction of anxiety

words: 3.3k

summary:  3RACHA debuts and they take over the world obviously, and minsung get softer somehow

a/n: literally always shook when I come back and someone has liked one of these chapter. But I’m so thankful to anyone whose read this <3

ao3 link

-------

The dancing trio’s apartment was cleaned and tidied up more than it probably had been in months. The three roommates had luckily found the time to tackle the figurative ocean that was their floor and the piles of clothes, books and shoes that littered it. All in all it was objectively not a large amount of mass but on the minimal square footage they had it made the already tiny space unbearably claustrophobic.  

The living room screen had been flooded up and placed against the wall for the special occasion, allowing the window above Felix's bed to actually stream in light to the rest of the room. Doing a bit of moving around of the furniture had been tiring but it allowed the space to open up and feel a little less like they were stuck living in a small cave, as Hyunjin had put it. Out of all of them Hyunjin had been very invested in the interior design of the room, while Felix and Minho merely humored him, to get the space clean as quick as they could, despite Hyunjins particularities.  

The evening had found them settled to enjoy their newly tidied space with a watch party of 3RACHA’s scheduled debut stage.  

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

“Jinnie, will you get the door by chance.” Minho yelled from the stove. He was busy trying to cook up their rabokki, since a hungry Felix mentioned his craving for comfort food after his audition that morning. 

Getting up, the lanky blonde wandered to the door. “Hyung, were you expecting anyone?” Without an answer he jiggled the knob of their door to coax the door into opening, not bothering to check the peephole as it was nothing more than a literal hole in the door that they had taped over when they moved in. 

“OH hey Hyun-”  Slam.  

A whole Kim Seungmin was standing on the other side of their door, and to say Hyunjin was unprepared to face his long standing university crush of two years is an understatement. 

“HYUNG!!!”

“Yes Jinnie~” 

“Did you just sl-” Minho’s voice was full of a teasing lilt, Felix’s was just simply confused at the loud door slam.

“WERE YOU GOING TO MENTION YOU INVITED KIM SEUNGMIN OVER TO OURS, OR WAS I JUST MEANT TO HAVE HEART ATTACK AND SPEND THE REST OF THE NIGHT A NERVOUS WRECK” 

“Well I invited him over because we are work husbands, but I also had hoped you would actually talk to the boy you've been anonymously pinning over since freshman year” 

“Don't worry Jinnie Suengmin is so nice! And if you're nervous I'll hold your hand.” Felix did cute grabby hands from the couch.

“Lix that kinda defeats the-”

“Hwang Hyunjin, open the door for our guest before I have to kick your cowardly ass.”

Okay Ow. Hurtful! 

Hyunjin knew he was right though and opened the door to a rather alarmed and confused Seungmin.

“Oh hey Hyunjin I thought that was you, I was afraid I had gotten the wrong apartment number.” His smile was so gentle that Hyunjin’s soul may have left his body. 

“Yeah. Nope, I mean yes this is the right place. Come on in! Sorry about slamming it earlier we have some janky door hinges.” Felix giggled and earned him a death glare from the long haired blondie. 

“Oh no problem! I’ve had to deal with my fair share of goofy doors at SU.” Of course Hyunjin nodded, completely understanding, even if he himself had never lived on Seoul University's campus. 

Hyunjin knew Suengmin had spent time as a resident adviser for the dorms. He also knew that he was a business and photography double major, also his current favorite restaurant, cafe, and book. Also not to mention that he was most obviously spending the summer as Minho’s co-worker. Hyunjin had done his fair share of social media stalking to learn more about the boy he had spent a long ass time pining over, as Felix puts it. It definitely wasn't one of his proudest moments, but he couldn't help but admire Seungmin after meeting him during their first year orientation. 

Opportunities to talk to Seungmin were rare, as their majors did not generally intercept plus Hyunjin’s general fear of speaking to the other. It seems Minho, being the attentive hyung he is, found the perfect opportunity for Hyunjin to actually get to know him. Without telling or mentioning it to the now flustered dancer. Damn him. 

“Glad you could make it Seungmo~” 

“God, I told you not to call me that.” Suengmin delivered his usual sarcastic banter toward the older, Felix laughed to himself, quite enjoying watching the drama unfold in front of him. 

“But of course I cant miss a good watch party.”

Although red in the face and ears glowing red from sitting next to Seungmin on their couch, Hyunijin feels light at the atmosphere around him, and smiles fondly toward them. Felix’s whispered “whipped” resulted in a kick to the shins. Minho brought a pot of noodles, rice cakes, cheese, and other toppings to their coffee table. Felix practically let out an inhuman squeal as he moved to grab some of the steaming noodles. 

“Suen-min does aht mean you like thee Racha?”

“Lix chew your food first you fool.” Felix takes a minute to slurp up and finish chewing before restating his questions, but Seungmin responds readily some how understanding the incoherency of the freckled pixie boy.

“Oh Yeah! Vaguely, one of my old friends from high school is Changbin’s brother. So he practically forced me to listen to all their music whenever they released new tracks. I’m really happy for them, but can't say I know much about them as a group other than recognizing a few songs'' 

“Really? That's so cool, I didn't know he had a brother.” 

“We literally met him Felix.” Hyunjin can't help but tease the other for his starstruck state when they first met 3RACHA. 

“He was too distracted by Chan’s smile and Changbin’s biceps to remember that.” Minho smirked.

“Shut it Hyung!” Felix threw a pillow at the older, sending the rest of them into a fit of giggles. 

“You can’t say anything Min-hyung, you're literally Jisung’s boyfriend.”

“I knew it!” Seungmin shouted accusingly. 

“STOP, No god he is not my boyfriend.” 

“Last Friday suggests differently~” Felix ever so casually mentions with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Seungmin’s eyebrows were raised at his hyung.

“Yeah hyung, you practically never let go of his hand all night.” Hyunjin smirked at his hyung, taking some form of embarrassment revenge on the older.

“Oh my god your kidding! Hyunjinnie you have to tell me everything.” And of course being the whipped man he was, he did, much to Minho’s despair, gladly fueling the other with material to tease thier hyung.

---

“Okay! Everyone! Shut up! ITS STARTING!!!” Even though no one was speaking they all unanimously agreed to comply with Felix’s outburst. The screen showed the hosts speaking from cue cards before a heavy back track flooded the speakers of their small TV. 3RACHA flashed across the screen as did the members' concept images. Felix had already squealed over them earlier in the week when they were posted on instagram (Minho did too but in his room privately). Still the images hit differently as they were broadcasted on television for the whole country and world to see. 

CB97… SpearB… J.One…

Their photos completely embodied their personas and it sent a chill down Minho’s spine in anticipation. The whole world was about to witness the electricity that was 3RACHA performing. 

The scene transitioned into a red lit stage and the three rappers standing in the center of it. The crowd's cheers faded as the beat entered. Heavy bass hitting an addicting rhythm that anyone listening could feel in every part of their chest. And of course because Minho was an unlucky bastard, and Jisung’s rap was first. 

The round cheeked boy with an innocent glint to his eyes and a heart shaped gummy smile was instead replaced with some monster of a man on stage. He hadn't seen them perform since him and Jisung had first met at the Sweet Lotus, and all the memories of J.One and his charismatic flow took over his senses immediately. J.One was on stage in front of him, using every once of his dangerously charming voice to bring in every single viewer’s attention. He uses his tone playfully and masterfully (just to play with his heart apparently, Minho thinks). It wasn't until Jisung ends his verse with a practically growled “zone”, and Chan takes over for the chorus, that Minho realizes he hadn’t been breathing. 

Not that CB97 or SpearB’s verse were going to give him any form of a break either. Chan’s part practically demanded your full attention, practically commanding the viewer to a call to action. Changbins part came in gently but built up to a point where his tone and verse exploded. Booming syllabus matching the booming 808s. The electricity was undeniable. The stage finished all of their voices joining in aggressively and with finality.

 A lone spotlight shone down on them revealing their intense and confident images. Ending fairies full of smirks and cocked eyebrows that left the audience screaming and cheering. 

“Holy shit.” Felix was the first to say anything, but even so they were all left speechless. After their performance of “Zone” no one could deny that they were something big. And Minho had absolutely no doubt in his mind that their three local rapper friends were about to take over the world. The screams from the TV and the cheers after each of their additional songs only solidified it. 

----

“3RACHA WORLD DOMINATION.”

Of course Minho was right, he always was, Jisung definitely knew that by now. But the headlines and the chart topping was all so new and overwhelming to the members it was hard to believe. 3RACHA had exploded practically overnight. Their debut stage had gone viral and hadn't left its place on trending pages in more than a few countries. 

Every day the 3RACHA boys had woken up to more insane news of their accomplishment. Their days are full of constant promo and show recordings for later broadcasts. Sana practically lived in their loft for the week. Their manager’s hours were somehow even longer than theirs and most hours where she was able to sleep it would be on the infamous couch.  

[Lee Minho hyungie]

2:45 pm

We watched your new performance last night!

You guys did amazing

I dont think I’ll ever get tired of listening to the album…

Of course the hectic week of 3RACHA’s debut and all of their new accolades were overwhelming, but Minho’s compliments seem to make Jisung’s heart stutter the most. He would never admit that he had been re-reading all of Minho's messages all week. Their correspondence was lacking due to mainly Jisung’s busy schedule, but the older had kept steady in his messages even if Jisung was largely unable to answer. Minho understood and instead would always send him motivational and supportive statements or goofy selfies of him in various fruit filters, never failing to give Jisung his smile back. 

The week had passed since their debut and Jisung couldn't help but feel light. The three of them had managed to nab some free/rest time for their weekend. Chan was thankfully already taking advantage of it, and had been knocked out asleep in his room since the morning. Changbin was spending some extra time in the complex’s gym, and Sana had finally been given the opportunity to go back to her own apartment to crash. He was so thankful for the small hardworking team he had found himself in. Jisung wanted to make the most of his time as well, and left their apartment for one of his impromptu strolls around the city. Jisung felt light.

----

Minho had taken an earlier shift, trading the weekend dinner wave for the never ending brunch crowd. Thankfully he had gathered a large stack of tips from the rich women tipsy enough from mimosas to slip him a few more percentage points into his pocket. His feet felt heavy from having to stand so long but thankfully he was able to stumble into an empty living room and relax, while the sun still sat comfortably in the sky, basking the room in a warm afternoon light. 

Minho was unwinding peacefully after enjoying his post work shower when his phone rang loudly next to him on the couch. 

[Jisungie is calling]

Jisung never calls him. Worry starts to nip at his insides as he moves to answer the call. 

“Jisung? Hey what's going on?” 

He can’t hear much on the other end but the sound of labored breathing signals that there was a living breathing boy on the other side of the line. 

“Did you mean to call me Sungie?”

“Ye-yes I did. I just needed to call…”Jisung’s voice trailed off, and Minho could hear the boy’s soft hiccups. Worry now rightfully settling to the base of his stomach. He approached the boy on the line gently. 

“Of course, did you need anything?” Jisung took a moment before answering.

“Hyung, I’m scared. There were so many of them outside, and I thought they didn't recognize me at first, but then they started calling my name and kept following me, and I got lost. I think I’m near your place, but i don't want them to find you and I don't wanna go back home. Channie would be so worried an-”

“Hey, hey it's okay baby. Just take a deep breath for me, yeah?” Minho couldn't help but let his protective instinct take over. Jisung was so fragile when he was scared, there isn't anything Minho would do to help him. Jsung was taking steady breaths in and out, and slowly they became more regular. The younger wasn’t crying but Minho didn’t want the other to get anywhere near that state still lost in the city.

“Can you tell me where you are Sung?”

“I-I’m in a convenience store, it's on a corner. I-i think there's a cafe across the street. I think I lost most of them but i'm afraid that there are more.” Minho was already slipping his shoes bringing an extra jacket with him, recognizing the store location. Jisung must mean that the reporters and more aggressive photographers had already tracked down the boys’ location. He lets his angry words for them die in his mouth, opting for a gentler response.

“That's good Sungie, I’m on the way it'll only be a few minutes. Do you want me to stay on the line?”

“Yes please.”

He sounded so small and afraid. It broke Minho’s heart “Okay baby, you wouldn't believe what happened at work today? Wanna hear about that?”

Minho heard something like an affirmative hum from the other side of the line. He kept the one-sided conversation steady so there was never silence. Talking about how Suengmin had somehow been stuck on server duty, and all of his unfortunate run-ins that come from a morning brunch shift. It was easy to keep the conversation light and the focus away from the stress or fear Jisung might be feeling. Minho keeps talking even as he is walking into the convenience store a few blocks from his apartment. 

He finds a startled Jisung practically crouching in on himself in the chip aisle. When Jisung’s eyes finally find him they are wide and stared with the beginnings of tears. Hanging up he holds out his arm, welcoming the other to come closer to him. 

“Hey there stranger, you can come to mine for tonight. That sound okay?” Jisung nods gladly and accepts the jacket Minho handed him, allowing for his obnoxiously orange shirt to be covered into something more inconspicuous. Huddling the sweet boy into his arms, Minho collects their favorite snacks from the shelves and a few ramen packs, and leads them out onto the street, and back to his apartment. The sun setting on the city and the night life awakening, they easily got lost in the crowd.

---

By the time Minho had allowed the worry to die down in his chest, Jisung was curled up in his small bed engulfed in a comforter. Minho had texted an extremely worried Chan about Jisung’s run in with the paparazzi. Jisung had spent a majority of the night not letting go of Minho’s arm, hand, side for even a moment. He remained relatively quiet the rest of the night but Minho was able to pull a few giggles out of the younger. 

Initially Minho was apprehensive about allowing Jisung into their tiny home, but as soon as the boy was in need, Minho’s reservations disappeared. As soon as they walk through the door, Jisungs shoulders relax. 

---

Jisung looked around at the small living room taking in the small bed in the corner and couch, the TV had been left on some mindless program when Minho had rushed to retrieve Jisung. The warm orange light from the setting sun filled the room, adn despite the cramped space and the boys’ overabundance of belongings, Jisung felt warm and at ease. The homey feeling of the apartment was something that he hadn't realized was foreign to him. Sure Jisung felt he had a rather close relationship with his bed back at the loft, but the environment of their place didn't quite compare to the very lived-in apartment he found himself in. 3RACHA had done thier fair share of moving around much to the will of Changbin or his parents, Jisung never minded it though, he was too thankful for their generosity. 

“I like your place Minho-hyung” It was the first time he had spoken since they arrived. Minho flashed him a relieved smile.

“My home is your home now then. Well mine and the other two mongrels' home is yours now too, but they're working late tonight so you're stuck with just me '' Jisung smiled. Minho couldn't help his heart from tugging. 

---

They had spent the night with instant ramen and an over abundance of snacks as they watched videos in Minho’s bed. Jisung fell asleep early, exhausted from his earlier tears and general low energy from the busy week’s drain. Minho moved to make sure Jisung was comfortable, before moving to get washed up for the night. He felt a small fist grab his shirt as he got up. 

“Where are you going?” Jisung had his wide puppy eyes on full display, apparently not asleep at all. 

“Just to wash up Sungie.”

“Will you come back to sleep with me after?” In any other situation the words may have seemed provocative, but with Jisungs sleepy gaze it was only endearing to Minho. Not like Minho would deny him a night in his arms anyway. 

“Of course baby, i'll be right back okay” Jisung let go of his shirt accepting his answer. Minho wasn’t a fool and could feel his heartbeat quicken with being so near to Jisung, but more than anything all he wanted to do was allow the younger to sleep in his arms as comfortably as possible. As soon as Minho rejoined the bed, Jisung had already moved to burrow his head into Minho's chest. If Minho could be even more endeared at the cuddly nature of Jisung, he was fully at the will of him now. 

He was a goner, but that wasn’t news to Minho when it came to his affection for the boy in his arms. Wrapping his arms around the younger's tiny waist he pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of his head. 

“Goodnight Jisung” 

I’ll always protect you.

---

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[stuckasmain]

I still don’t think your ready for it, but here’s my Batb Cruise show review:

Yes you read the title completely right, I was made aware of this a day or two ago but apparently one of the Disney Cruises is doing/did beauty and the beast the musical but based upon the live action movie. So naturally a massive fan of the live action I was both shocked and wildly confused, lucky for me I found a video on the entire performance(likely taken from a cruise tv.) from what I skimmed over it looks like instead of full body suits to look like they are it’s going to be regular (human outfits.) and then puppets, so I am Really really interested to see how this goes.

The timing is a little off we skip the prologue (Aria etc.) and start straight in How does a moment last forever... are they placing Belle after it? It was before in the movie. Wait oh my god he’s also narrator- it is the prologue! Pulled a sneaky one on ya.

•Adams dramatic sassy hand movements are my entire life (no dance just this art right here.)

•The enchantress looks straight outa Atlantis but I LOVE the effects used omllll

• MARIE THE BAGUETTES.

•who needs her when you’ve got us (LE DUO OMG- it’s the thing.)

•from what I’m seeing it’s a combination of both the animated and live action, as some lyrics/moments are the animated , like Lefou reverted back to his original sorta idiot phase.

•met HER saw HER *kick* we stan.

•Lefou just waving his bag in the girls face. Legend lmao.

•a LOT more comedy then the movie. When Gaston drops the Boquet Lefou picks it up and smells it and just melts all cute like. My heart?

•”keep moving old legs.”

•Gaston is also a lot more like the animated, more dumbed down for comedic effect.

•so there’s no Philippe so some dudes took her dads wagon. That’s how jumanji started you know smh.

•PUPPETS IM SCREAMING.

Lumire looks like he’s absolutely losing his mind I’m deadddd. Also Cogsworth’s wig is my entire life.

• ok so the beasts voice- he sounds like a Pirate I’m crying “ee stole me rose matey.”

•belle straight up using the stick like a musket

•OML SO I NOW SEE THE EYES ON THE PUPPET AND IM LOSING MY DAMN MIND.

•storage space! Storage space! For all of Lumiere’s shoes! His shoes yes he had a feel large collection of shoes- he rather likes Heels-

Cogsworth.

What?

Stop talking.

•while my love massages my tight caves.

I’ll massage your caves Gaston!

Who has no one snatched you up yet? (He didn’t say girl :0)

•everyones awed and inspired by au

Gaston placing a hand to his chest.

•Gaston kissing his own portait, no bimbettes Lefou sings their line, no Tom , Dick or stanley that I can see either

•they all start russian dancing instead of the stopping/sword fight. Weird flex but ok.

Now the girls are... is that the cancan?

•Fun cult activity’s with friends

•lefou dreamily gasping over gaston along with the women.

•WHERED THE UKALELE COME FROM?!

• they kept my favorite line :)

•So Gaston has the French flag now? Also Maurice runs in automatically? Damn there goes pacing i guess- like aren’t they supposed to be together for at least awhile before going after her jeez

•why’s every single woman in this show use a super high pitched cutesy voice “YeAaA!” Is the audience one year olds and dogs???

•Gaston was a captain :0 Damn high rank.

•or a Budae *laughing* *distant roar* *s c r e a m *

•Madame de Garderobe has me screaming lmaoooo

•Mrs.Potts was a governess? Wack.

•ok so I cant describe the noise i made

L: OH YES! Darling

P: high pitched giggling.

The stage is still black and I can’t breathe-

They were definitely- whatever the equivalent would be of making out

•This plan is uh Dangerous~

I’m-I’m gay for the featherduster. This is not allowed. THEY ARE SO CUTE I CANNOT FUNCTION.

*more adorable couple giggling*

Cogsworth coughing

•food fashion show.. I cannot... I can’t function.

•Lumiere being dramatic:

Coggsworth: if i had hands, I’d slap you.

•*Whispers*Skin.

That’s- that’s not creepy at all lmao.

C’Est LA SALADE I CANT BREATHE WHATS HAPPENING.

•you lost me 2 verses ago now there’s cheese

•no one:

Plumette giggling and calling out everything:

•HOW IS MADAME DOWNSTAIRS IM SO CONFUSED

•OWWWWWWWWEWWWWWWWWWWW.

That hurts.

•ok so Mrs. Potts being a governess in this version now makes sense as she’s the one to start days in the sun instead of the queen/little Adam

•So Candenza is completely gone from this version????? So Lumierè and Plumette get both love lines from the song. Their still busy being cute as hell tho. (Does this imply their also singers? Pretty sure their still just footman/maid.)

•cogsworth now has Mrs.Potts lines but his voice is great.

•instead of soup it’s tea he I N H A L E and belle looks SO done lmao. Also no library?

•oh jeez yea no library just straight into something there.

•oh so the library is now IN something there, alright.

•Adam just DECKS Lumiere. Idk what that was about lmao - showing he’s nice now by uppercutting a candlestick across the room.

• BELLE:D this dork-

•Hes making jokes now.

•SWORDS. FIGHTING.

•”we love you.” But... everyone is still all-

Ok so either Mrs.Potts is a massive liar or they don’t count

•the dress is low key just as underwhelming as in the film

• Adam is trying *SHOVES CHAMPAGNE IN FACE*

•Plumette keeps running on and off stage idk what that’s about.

•the danceeeee

•Adam keeps talking about his mom

•no evermore ;-; my favorite song and it’s gone for a 5 second day’s in the sun reprise.

I’m wounded.

•belle casually taking a dudes knife to cut them free

•I feel like the mob song is cute down a lot, also Lumiere comes in sliding on his knees. Respect.

•”Gaston help.” Is kinda like nothing now as they have been so comedic. I feel nothing.

•i like the way they executed the final fight (beast/Gaston as servents vs the villages was literally nothing.)

•Lumiere sliding in on his knees again *French accent*YAAAAAAS

•ok so the death scene still hurts me like a truck.

Lumire: guys we did it :)

*literally watches the love of his life, his best friend and other friends die(yes it’s technically death.)*

Everyone steps away from the puppet and turns around, the lighting goes dark I’m - ;-;

•the prince is low key better in the suit the guy playing him is uhhhhhhhh I know the whole point is to look past Appearance but who’s dad is this?

•I’m absolutely SCREAMING. Instead of the dramatic one by one they all pop up together and collectively go :00000 what?! Whoa!

•Lumiere and Plumette low key not even a “hi.” Just kiss and start dancing. Mood.

•Ballet attack part 2 and middle aged prince returns.

•No chip or Madame at the end either! :0

•oh wait here’s chip!

Cogsworth melting in the background is me

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬/𝐏𝗼𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐬

so as I’ve said it’s like a mash up of the original and the remake with some of the choices it makes, I think it really makes or breaks some of the characters.

Lefou/Gaston-

Both of them fell back more into their Cartoon counterparts of : here to be the bad guy, here to be funny. Both of them become so overly comedic that you wouldn’t be able to tell who’s line was whos if you were shown them without being told. I think , funny as they were it negatively effected their character’s. Same case with the beast he definitely became more comedic if anything at all.

Lumierè/Cogsworth/Plumette-

These guys I think are the opposite. I think having a slight bit more of the animated made both banter and flirting hike it’s way up. Cogsworth and Lumierè were more showy in their banter , while Lumierè and Plumette were much more loud and showy with banter. Also the accents are art. Mrs. Potts was there to be the mother like figure and not given much of herself

Rip to chip who had like 4 lines and didn’t even show up to seconds before curtain. Also Madame de Garderobe who was there to be a good singer and nothing more as she lost her whole arc.Rip to Cadenza, Frou frou , Chapu and Philippe for being written out all together.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬/𝐭𝐡𝗼𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

As I’ve said the changes either make or break some moments, like adding a overwhelming amount of comedy like the og movie. As funny as it was it did not have that same weight/gravity the remake did in its more serious/emotional scenes like the death/human again scenes I felt little here and Gaston betraying Lefou. As well as having the more serious/soft songs as the remake really backfired with so much comedy, and not even the more Witty subtle humor of the movie. Funny, but odd as character choice

So I know you had to cut it down a lot in order to fit it on stage however, nessisary parts or songs (evermore ;-;) were completely excluded likely do to the slightly unessisary over extension of dance numbers in Gaston(that didn’t need it) and Be our guest. Which could have been time better spent.

The servants are the absolute saving grace of this musical. The costumes! Oh!(again cogsworths wig is my life.) the humor! The acting, the singing, the relationships- all of it- all of it. They carry the entire thing, and if I’m honest it’s mainly Lumierè, Cogsworth and Plumette, occasionally Mrs. Potts if you stretch.

[seblos]

is this home?

word count: 2,278

read on ao3!

Backstage was silent except for the voices of the actors on stage, a stark contrast from the jittery energy right before the curtain had risen. The show was going well so far, much smoother than High School Musical, and they were nearing Seb’s entrance once again right before ‘Home’. 

Carlos smiles, thinking about how proud he was that Seb had the courage to not only audition for Belle but actually go through with it when they had gotten the role. It was one thing to play one of the side lead females, and another to actually play the female lead itself. 

He remembers when Seb had first expressed their dream to play Belle. The two of them were hanging out watching Beauty and the Beast to prepare for Seb’s audition.

Originally, Carlos had been expecting them to want to audition for Gaston or even the Beast, but ever since they had come out as nonbinary, they had shied away from some of the more hypermasculine roles. It’s not that they couldn’t play such a role (Seb could play any role in the show and still be the biggest star to Carlos); they just preferred not to. 

Instead, Seb had expressed interest in playing Lumiere. So, the two had been watching ‘Be Our Guest’ when they had turned to Carlos out of the blue.

“Who do you think is going to play Belle?” Seb had asked.

It was abrupt, sure, but Carlos hadn’t thought anything weird of it. He had already been debating how the cast list might end up all week himself.

“I don’t know, honestly” Carlos admitted. “I know Nini and Gina are both auditioning again. Ashlyn was thinking about it, but I think she was leaning more towards one of the magical objects. Although she and EJ had been discussing playing Gaston and Lefou together if EJ isn’t the Beast.”

(He could see Seb growing more fidgety with the more people he lists, but he had assumed it was probably just regular pre-audition week nerves.)

“I think Kourtney is auditioning for Mrs. Potts,” he continued. “We tried to convince her to audition for Belle even though it’s her first show, but she said she’s not ready to play the lead yet.”

“So there’s a lot of competition?” Seb had asked, tapping one of their fingernails against the other. It’s one of their nervous habits, and it was ruining the light blue polish that Carlos had just applied on their nails.

He was about to reach for the nail polish again to touch it up when it had actually hit him. 

Was Seb nervous?

“Don’t be nervous,” Carlos had said instead of asking, already being able to identify the signs at this point in their friendship. He had proceeded to take Seb’s hands, which effectively stopped the tapping.

(They weren’t together, officially. Still aren’t. It’s been months of dancing around each other— literally and metaphorically— since that night at homecoming. Both were still too nervous to say anything about the situation. Small, affectionate touches like these, though, they could do.)

“Whatever role you do get, you’re gonna kill,” Carlos continued, and he remembers giving them what was hopefully a relieving smile. “Heck, maybe you should be the one to play Belle.”

“You think?” Seb had said, acting casual. Carlos had felt them tense slightly in his hands, though, and he could hear the same nervous-excitement in their voice after they first told him they wanted to play Sharpay. 

And suddenly, it had clicked.

“Do you want to play Belle?” Carlos asked carefully, and Seb’s face had dropped slightly. 

“Is that dumb?” they asked, and Carlos remembers the words making his heart tug at his chest. As if anything Seb did could ever be dumb.

“I know I don’t have to only play traditionally female roles,” they continued. “Which is why I thought I should play Lumiere, y’know? Since I played a female role last time, and Lumiere is pretty androgynous. And I still would love to play him, it’s just….” they had trailed off, and Carlos had squeezed their hand, urging them to continue.

They had finally turned to face Carlos, taking a deep breath before continuing. “It’s always kind of been a dream of mine,” they admitted. “Going onstage as Belle, under that single spotlight, and just belting out ‘Home’ to an audience made up people, and not of my stuffed animals.”

The last part made Carlos giggle, but everything else they had told him made his heart leap into his throat.

“So, why don’t you audition?” Carlos suggested because, at that moment, he knew Seb needed to. Whether or not they actually get the role, they needed to at least know that they have the ability to go for it.

Meanwhile, Seb was hesitant, like they were searching for an excuse to say no.

“Do you really think I should?” they had said finally.

“I really, really do,” Carlos said, squeezing their hand again.

“What will the others say, though? If I get it? Won’t they think that it would be out of bias because I’m telling you, and you work with Miss Jenn?”

“If I had any say in the cast list, then Ricky Bowen wouldn’t have played Troy Bolton,” Carlos assured them, which had made Seb laugh.

 “But, if I do get a say this time, I promise to do what;’s best for the cast,” he had said. “Let them think what they want, but at the end of the day, we all know that.”

“Okay,” Seb agreed, and that was that. The two had continued to study the movie that night, although this time with a little more attention to Belle’s role.

And while the rest of the cast was extremely talented, Carlos had known Seb was going to play Belle the moment they auditioned, the same way he knew they were going to play Sharpay before the cast list was even posted.

Months later, and Seb was finally on stage for opening night. There had been moments of hesitancy after receiving offhand comments to full-on backlash from ignorant students at the school, as well as some members of the greater Salt Lake region once word got out that Belle wasn’t being played by a girl.

The cast had been nothing but supportive to Seb, though. At the end of the day, it’s what pushed them to work even harder.

Now, they were approaching the moment Carlos had been waiting all night. Ever since Seb had mentioned wanting to perform ‘Home’, one of Belle’s biggest solos in the show, he had been attached to the performance. And after months of Seb perfecting it, he was the most excited for it.

Now was their time.

They had a few scenes on stage that lead up to the actual song itself, but that didn’t bother Carlos. Whenever Seb was on stage, he was captivated watching them in action. It was beyond memorizing to see them become a whole new person, even for a few minutes. If Sharpay hadn’t been enough, seeing them play the lead was damn near magical.

As soon as Ricky left the stage, (he had somehow managed to snag the lead, again) the opening bars began to play. Carlos feels himself take a breath, fixating on Seb as they begin to sing.

Yes, I made the choice.

For Papa, I will stay.

But I don't deserve to lose my freedom in this way,

You monster!

Carlos had already heard them rehearse it maybe 100 times, every time just as flawless. But this time, seeing them on stage with the costume, and makeup, and an audience, and that single spotlight.

It’s real.

More than that. Surreal. Like some sort of real-time fantasy.

As the ballad builds, it becomes more than a song. Maybe not to the audience, but to Carlos, and definitely to Seb.

He can’t imagine earlier in the year when they were doing High School Musical that they ever thought they would ever get to this point, and now here they were, living out their dream. It represents every obstacle they had to overcome to get to this point.

It was beyond inspiring, and Carlos feels so lucky to be able to experience it.

The longer the song goes on, the more vulnerable Seb becomes, and Carlos can see at least half the cast— including himself—on the verge of tears. (He feels bad for the girl playing Madame de la Grande Bouche, who has to make an entrance the moment the song ends.)

Is this home?

Am I here for a day or forever?

Shut away from the world until who knows when?

Watching someone play their dream role is always magical. Even more so now, watching Seb.

Build higher walls around me.

Change every lock and key.

Nothing lasts,

Nothing holds all of me.

The song ends with a surge of applause so loud that for a moment Carlos can’t hear anything, and so long that Kourtney has to pause before entering as Mrs. Potts for it to die down. (He’s pretty sure that it’s their family who is whooping and hollering so loudly.) Seb doesn’t break character of course, but Carlos can see their lips twitching slightly, the sign that they’re forcing away the urge to break out in a smile. 

Eventually, the scene does continue. It’s a short one though, and Seb exits onto Carlos’s side of the stage. Immediately, he envelopes them in the biggest, tightest hug he can give. (Which is a rarity for him; Seb is more of the hugger in their friendship.) It might not have been him on stage, or him playing his dream role, but Carlos’s chest is bursting with so many positive emotions that he can’t even name as he hugs them close. 

He loosens his arms around Seb after a moment, leaning back so he can see their face.

“You did it!” Carlos whispers, quiet enough so their mic won’t pick it up. 

They nod, not being able to say anything, but Carlos can see them almost on the verge of tears. He can practically hear them telling him “I did, didn’t I?”

They stand in silence, arms still wrapped around each other, and Carlos realizes after a moment how close their faces are. If Seb’s mic wasn’t on, and they weren’t wearing makeup, and backstage in the middle of a show, nothing would be stopping him from closing the distance between them right then and there. 

He does have to let them go eventually to prepare for their next entrance, but the thought stays in his mind all the way until intermission. 

As soon as the curtains close, Carlos immediately starts to search for Seb. There’s nothing more that he wants in the world than to sit down with them and talk about that song for hours. Unfortunately, they’re on a time limit, and if Carlos wants to see them at all, he has to hurry.

Carlos finds him after a few minutes in one of the dressing rooms across from the bomb shelter. The room is empty except for the mirror where they’re reapplying hairspray.

The moment Seb spots Carlos, though, they’re back in his arms. This time not as rushed as it was backstage, but the same amount of excitement and sweetness and comfort that makes Carlos want to stay in this position forever.

And before he can get a word out, Seb kisses him. It’s quick, and he can feel the makeup rubbing off onto his face, but his hands immediately go up to cup Seb’s face

Seb pulls away (Carlos wishes they didn’t.) “Hi,” they whisper, smiling.

“Hey,” he says back, still cupping their face.

“That was for you,” they tell him, and Carlos can still feel waves of nerves and excitement coming off of them.

“The song or the kiss?”

“Both,” they say breathlessly. “Everything that I’ve done tonight was because of you.”

Carlos smiles, shaking his head. “That was all you, baby,” he tells them, and Seb blushes slightly from the pet name. 

Then, he leans back in kissing Seb even longer and deeper than before. He can hear chattering from the cast and the tech kids calling out warnings for intermission ending soon, but they’ll deal with that in a second. At this moment it’s just the two of them, both having lived their dreams tonight.

This time it’s Carlos that pulls away. “And that was for you. For your amazing performance, and everything else tonight.”

“Just tonight?” Seb asks slyly.

“For you. Always,” he corrects, and he knows they’re both blushing but it doesn’t matter. 

“You have lipstick on your face,” they giggle, reaching up to wipe it away.

“So do you,” Carlos says, mirroring the action. “You might want to touch up your makeup a bit before you have to get back out there.”

“Okay,” Seb says, but they don’t make a move towards their makeup kit. Instead, they lean in and kiss Carlos again.

“Okay,” they say again, this time actually letting go.

As much as he doesn’t want to, Carlos waves them goodbye. As much as he wants to stay in that room with Seb, they’ve been working on this show for months, and arguably is more important. He needs to check in with Miss Jenn before intermission is over, and he’ll see them backstage. They’ll talk more when the show is over at Denny’s, maybe skip the cast party to hang out together, who knows. 

(And no, he still has no idea what they are or what this means. That doesn’t really matter either though. He’s found a home with Seb, and that’s enough.)

[merinathropp]

Merina Rambles About Beauty & the Beast (2017)

(This post is literally 4 years old, I discovered it in my drafts and frankly it was fascinating to read my review all these years later lol so I’m posting it for *nostalgic reasons* and also so I have it archived properly...)

THE GOOD

Luke Evans is a gift bestowed upon us, we are unworthy to receive his magnificence. The voice, the swagger, the expressions, the way he delivered every line - no matter how dumb - with total conviction. And the whole politics of the way he manipulates the townspeople, SO GOOD.

There were a couple of sequences/scenes that I adored: the opening scene is creepy and eerie and beautiful, the 'Gaston' number is sheer joy, Mob Song was full of great terrifying energy.

The sets. were. exquisite. So beautiful, so detailed, so lovingly wrought. This gorgeous crumbling half-ruined castle, terrifying and beautiful all at the same time. FLAWLESS. And even the taverns and streets were like something out of a painting.

Costumes (with ONE GLARING EXCEPTION) were also stunning, and I love how everything felt like it was locked in a slightly surreal version of 1700s France? Lots of intricate lace and skirts and bright colours and curly wigs, that kind of thing. 

When the Beast spares Gaston's life at the end, Gaston begs him "please beast please let me go!" and he gently lowers him the ground and whispers "I am not a Beast" and I swear I had chills it was such a powerful moment and Dan Stevens put so much into those simple four words.

THE BAD

Emma Watson. Oh help. I expected her singing to be autotuned to death - I did *not* expect her performance to be so lifeless. She just...drifts through the film, and she's so vague and expressionless with the Beast in the second half, I just don’t understand.

The dress is worse than I could have imagined. It moves like a cheap prom dress, it doesn't swish or swoosh, it has no volume, and all the little stringy bits at the back keep getting bunched up????

The rest was...lifeless shlock, baffling writing choices, comedy that didn't land, and the single most soulless, bland performance I've ever seen from Emma Watson.

Some of the writing choices truly baffled me, some really trite dialogue and absurd added plot points that came out of nowhere.The comedy had some majorly awkward moments, Belle has this joke during the wedding where she giggles (again) and is like "Would you mind growing a beard? :D" You could hEAR the audience groaning, I swear. It was so weird and baffling and uncomfortable. 

And then the Beast suddenly pulls out a (deep breath) magical teleportation book and takes Belle to Paris so she can learn the truth about her deceased mother (?!) bang slap in the middle of Act 2. What?!?!?!?!

My other pet peeve - Mrs. Potts explaining away the beasts's selfishness by saying "he had a terrible cruel father who tortured his boy and made sure he was JUST LIKE HIM!" and Belle being all "poor beast :((((" about it. Absolutely insulting, both to the original story and the moral of the piece and the Beast's character.

The flat-as-a-pancake female lead who looks pretty but has the personality of a dishcloth. And she invents this washing machine, which is stolen by the villagers and destroyed because IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR A WOMAN TO READ and that's...the entire explanation we get. We never hear about Belle's inventions or desire to be an inventor or anything for the rest of the film. It comes across as cheap knock-off feminism, but it could have been so much more.

[spaceorphan18]

The Pam Beesly Files: Pilot (1x01)

Welcome to the Pam Beesly Files! 

Tagging @ckerouac in every single one of these cause she convinced me to start doing this! :D 

I’ll be digging in and exploring one of my favorite fictional characters of all time - Pam Beesly(-Halpert).  Something I really enjoy about Pam is that, unlike a lot of sitcom characters, Pam grows and changes over the years.  She starts off meek and quiet - a bit of a pushover, but grows up and gains confidence and really blossoms into her own person, which is really quite cool.  

Kicking it off with the Pilot.  I don’t think it’s the strongest pilot -- the show, in trying to play it safe, nearly copied the British version of the episode, but in doing so lost a little in translation.  Despite the fact that the show takes a while to really get on its feet, there’s a lot to dig in her, so let’s get started! 

Introducing Dunder-Mifflin

When we first meet Pam, she’s sitting in her usual spot at reception, having to endure an overly out of control (because of the documentary crew) Michael.  (As an aside - I’m curious as to why this documentary wants to film a failing, mid-western paper company, but maybe it’s a life piece or something.)  Pam, as we’ll learn as we get to know her, is not an outgoing person.  In fact, here at the beginning, she’s down-right timid, constantly drawing in on herself.  I love Jenna Fischer’s acting choices here -- she physically closes in on herself to seem even more meek and withdrawn.  

This whole documentary crew is a rather disruptive thing, and I get the sense that Pam doesn’t really want or need to be filmed -- the opposite of Michael Scott, who is going overboard in his performance for the cameras.  Was Michael a good boss before putting on a show for the documentary? No, not at all, but he’s even worse when he has an audience.  

Pam mostly just endures Michael as he plays it up for the camera, just as she probably endures him every time he comes up to reception, which is probably more often than a normal amount.  If I had to guess - based on future interactions, any time Michael needs attention, she might be the first place he stops, though he gets frustrated with her, cause she’s not a good audience member.  Later - her relationship with Michael will change, but for now, she just waits in mostly awed silence until he’s gone.  

Since this is an introduction, we do learn a little about Pam’s life at Dunder-Mifflin.  She’s been with the company for a while (my headcanon is three-ish years putting her in her mid-ish twenties).  And that Michael used to think she was hot. 

About that second thought, when we meet Pam, she’s got somewhat of a frumpy look (and that’s intentional!).  The cardigans, button down shirts, and pencil skirts are business attire, but not anything more or less.  I have to wonder that when Pam first started working there (as someone who was freshly in her twenties) she did dress nicer -- but then after a lot of unwanted comments, purposely downplayed her looks.  But there’s more to that, too.  She’s settled in a relationship that she’s content but not necessarily happy in, and therefore it spills outward into her appearance as well.  

After the introduction - Pam attempts actual work, and Michael just kind of throws an important fax back into her face.  She’s bewildered and frustrated that he continues to act like a child and not an actual boss -- but the fascinating thing is how she keeps everything buried.  She is livid with Michael -- for laughing at her, for not taking anything seriously, for literally throwing actual work back at her face, but she contains it, and it doesn’t quite get to surface level but it’s most definitely there.  

One scene in - and we can already see how much Pam is restrained in her interactions -- there’s a lot waiting to leap out, but it’ll be awhile before anything can really be pulled out of her.  

Corporate Meeting 

Jan comes to the office to warn Michael about possible downsizing.  Pam’s in attendance at the meeting -- mostly because Michael probably enjoys the idea that she’ll be his assistant in such things.  She doesn’t have a whole lot to do here - except position herself out of the excruciatingly awkward conversation Jan and Michael are having.  She has a mild, horrific look on her face the entire way through -- knowing that everything Michael is saying is bad, but not feeling it her place to say anything at all.  

The only time she speaks is when Jan asks about the agenda, which Michael had thrown away earlier.  Interestingly, Pam is honest about what happened to it -- that Michael tossed it into the trash, and uses his own wording against him.  Pam won’t currently speak out against Michael, she’s too scared to rock the boat, but she can push back with actual honesty if nothing else.  

Downsizing

Our next Pam scene is our first Jim and Pam scene!! And we can already see there’s a stark difference between a Pam who is on camera having to deal with Michael, and Pam who doesn’t know the camera is on her, speaking to her bff.  

But first - I want to mention that before this, everyone else is discussing the possibility of downsizing.  Everyone else in the office is worried about their livelihood, and what steps they should be making for job security.  Pam (and Jim) don’t have such concerns.  Not only are both of them younger - and still of mind that they have time to ‘get out’ of such a meaningless life, but Pam (as we’ll later learn) doesn’t think downsizing is the worst thing that can happen to her. 

Instead - Pam asks Jim about going to Angela’s cat party, and the two both share a giggle over it.  It’s the first time we see Pam not only smile in the series, but also look like she’s got one genuine thing in her job that she cares about -- her friendship (relationship) with Jim.  

As an aside, I’d also like to note that Pam’s a touch sassy about the whole cat party thing.  The two of them are slightly judgy of the others, thinking they’re above the settled (and ridiculous) lives of the rest of the office.  

Talking Head

In her first talking head, Pam admits that she’s fine being let go.  In fact - you get the impression that she probably dreams about being let go or how she’d storm out if she just up and quit - but beyond the fantasy of that, she hasn’t thought about her future much.  She states that it’s not many little girls’ dream to be a receptionist, and that’s probably true.  But it also seems like she hasn’t put a lot of thought into what her own ambitions are.  What did Pam want to be when she grew up? Well, not a receptionist, but that’s as far as she’s gotten. 

She does have a hobby, however, as she says she likes doing illustrations and watercolors.  (It’s a nice touch by the filmmakers to include her carefully whiting something out during the monologue.)  She may or may not have other interests or hobbies but this is the one she holds onto.  She also feels the need to bring up that Jim thinks they’re worth something.  Because not only is Jim’s opinion incredibly important of her - his finding value in her creative side seems to validate her as well.  Pam doesn’t have much self-esteem, but Jim finding worth in her is something that she clings onto.  (Now she’s just got to discover it for herself! Because we’ll learn -- Jim can’t be her only source of positivity in her life.)  

I’d also like to mention that she not only doesn’t bring up Roy here, but his opinion doesn’t seem to matter much on the subject either.  Not to mention, he probably doesn’t give her much encouragement when it comes to such things. 

Six-Million Dollar Man

Michael’s still being obnoxious - doing impressions for the camera.  Pam really just wants him to go away and stop bothering her.  After doing the Six-Million Dollar Man, Michael claims that that’d be a good salary for him and suggests he get a raise.  Pam mutters that they all deserve a raise -- to which Michael grows serious and annoyed with her.  Pam isn’t one to push back very often, and having been pressed too often, I’m sure things like this spill out, which seem to spoil Michael’s mood, but are very truthful.  Pam’s a little stunned with herself for expressing an honest emotion, as well as Michael’s petulance, by the end of the scene.  

Conference Room Meeting

In an attempt to calm people’s fears, Michael calls a conference room meeting to talk about the possibility of downsizing (though he really just wants an audience for his supposedly good management skills).  A point of notice - as we go on in the series, Jim and Pam will usually be seated together for these things, but I believe this is just about logistics more so than anything related to the story -- Jenna Fischer had lines, John Krasinski did not, hence they were not seated together. 

Anyway -- Michael tries to lie about the possibility of downsizing.  In her most passive-aggressive move yet, Pam (still very meekly though) tells the rest of the office that since she was in the meeting, she can tell them what Corporate said, and thus undermine everything Michael is talking about.  It totally throws Michael under a bus, and she knows it, but once again, she’s hiding behind the guise of brutal honesty.  It’s the little things she can get away with that she’ll do.  She won’t outright confront him on his shenanigans, but there are still simple things she can do to get back at him. 

Also, another point of mention is that during this scene, she’s biting her nails.  Now, this really isn’t going to be a thing I see with her going forward -- apparently it’s a tick for this episode that Fischer (or the director) added just for this episode -- but it’s another physical reminder of how inward and insecure Pam is at the beginning of the show. 

Mixed-Berries and Jell-O

We get a talking head with Jim where he states that one of the useless things he knows is Pam’s favorite flavor of yogurt (which is Mixed-Berry btw) and when the doc crew asks Pam about it, she gets all happy flustered and giggly.  Why? Because it’s another sign that Jim notices her.  And really - no one else in her life, personal or professional, really notice her.  It’s one reason she’s drawn to Jim -- he seems to really (like actually really) care about her, what her interests are, what hobbies she has, etc, etc, and has used that to form a connection and a bond with her.  She doesn’t really have any other (seemingly) friendship or relationship with anyone else.  But (for reasons we’ll get to in a moment) she really tries to pretend it’s just a silly thing between the two of them, and not the emotional affair that it really is at this point. 

Meanwhile, we get a jump on Jim-pranks, a staple (ha pun intended) of the show, when it’s revealed that Jim put Dwight’s stapler in Jell-O (again).  Yes, Jim’s first and foremost reason for doing it is that he’s bored and Dwight bugs him and he gets a kick out of it.  But a nice side effect is that it entertains Pam.  She is the only one giggling as the whole thing unravels (the rest of the office really would just like to work without the shenanigans) but it’s another way Pam and Jim have bonded -- they share the same sense of humor. 

Roy

So, we have another spy shot of Jim and Pam up at reception. A little detail I love is that their hands are close to each other, not touching, but if you looked quickly, you’d think they were holding hands.  Anyway, Jim’s asking Pam to come with him for a drink with the rest of the office -- and Pam’s pretty cool with the thought at joining.   They’re super flirty and giggly with each other just as the scene opens, and you’re supposed to get the idea that they’re probably already some sort of couple until we get the twist of the scene in a moment.  

Here we get the introduction to Roy -- Pam’s fiance who works in the warehouse.  Fascinatingly, the moment Roy comes in, Jim jolts away from the desk, putting a lot more space in between them.  Pam is pretty oblivious to what her actions mean, but Jim is well aware that he’s treading on dangerous ground, to the point of possibly crossing the line by asking Pam out for a drink (though he probably already has in other ways).  

Roy, we learn, is kind of a brute, and uncompromising when it comes to putting his own feelings above Pam’s.  Pam would like to go out for a drink - does Roy want to go? Nope, okay then, and Pam is shut down.  Why? Well, for one - Roy is kind of /that/ asshole is blind to his own selfishness that he doesn’t realize he’s suppressing Pam.  (There’s also some hold over class stuff from the British version here that doesn’t necessarily translate as well with Roy being a blue-collar worker vs Jim being a white-collar worker.)  

Mostly though, Pam just isn’t her own person right now.  She let’s Roy kind of dictate her life because it’s easier than always fighting with him (and is slightly self-sabotage because if she pushed back she would have to wake up to the actual state of her life).   But also - she’s letting Jim dictate her happier emotions - letting his feelings for her dictate her own self-esteem.  Eventually, she’s going to learn to be her own person, but that’ll be awhile.  

Anyway - Pam gets a talking head where she explains a bit about Roy -- they’ve been engaged for three years, with no wedding date insight.  She’s happy to talk about Roy at first, until the camera lingers on her a little too long, and her face falls.  She’s trying to present that she’s happy in her life when, in fact, she’s really not.   I’d also like to point out that she does not light up when talking about Roy the way she does with Jim.  She likes Jim and has fun with Jim -- Roy is just another obligation in her life.  But she’s made a commitment, and she doesn’t take that lightly. 

I have some personal headcanon for the whole Pam and Roy thing -- in that they knew each other in high school, and Roy, probably a popular jock, took notice of her.  As I said earlier - people don’t notice Pam, and she somewhat clings on to those who do.  So, being young, they probably dated a little - and since he was popular and she wasn’t, she probably thought his coolness rubbed off on her.  And then they went through their college years (though I don’t think either of them went to college) and after nagging him about their future, he finally proposed and it’s been in this unmoved, content state since then.  

(As a personal aside - there’s a joke in there that if Pam had married Roy, she’d be Pam Anderson.  And I’m epicly rolling my eyes.  I kind of hate that, like, the only famous Pam anyone knows is Pam Anderson, so this joke seems to keep being made.)  

Prank

So, Michael, in an attempt to show off to Ryan the temp, decides to pull a Punk’d-esque prank on Pam and fake fire her.  It’s deeply uncomfortable -- especially since Pam has a breakdown right in Michael's office.  And we can learn a few things here!  For one, Pam’s a pretty decent worker.  Despite being bored all the time, she does take her job seriously, and does a pretty decent job of it.  And, she hasn’t so much as stolen a paperclip.  

On top of that, her job and life are in a very stable state right now.  Pam doesn’t do well with upheaval - it’s one reason why she hasn’t broken it off with Roy yet.  And Michael throwing her a curveball upsets the nice, little life she’s crafted for herself.  Remember earlier when she said she’d be fine if she was let go?  Well -- turns out that’s not so much the case.  What is her life without her job? Not a whole lot…  

But also, she’s endured Michael’s shit for years at this point, I’d be close to breaking down, too.  Interestingly, though, when she finds it’s a prank, she storms out and calls him a jerk.  It’s rather tame by comparison to what she could do -- such as be very cruel and/or angry, or be assertive and go to HR about Michael.  She doesn’t do either, she just leaves.  Michael is a terrible person to her - she has every right to complain and get angry, but eventually, like everything else that happens to her at the moment, she’ll let it slide off.  Just another day in the office. 

Heading Home

Jim was supposed to be going out with the rest of the employees out for drinks, but instead, he’s waited to walk out with Pam (which I assume they do nearly every night).  Pam’s happy to see him -- especially since she’s had her break down of Michael firing her.  It’s a relief to have a friend in such an awful working environment.  They’re both aware of the camera, however, so they’re both playing things a little cool.  Jim’s obviously concerned that Pam’s been crying, and Pam is grateful that someone, again, notices her -- but neither are going to present to a camera what they’re trying to hide from themselves.  

Jim offers to walk her downstairs, but Roy’s already down there, noisy honking his horn for her to hurry up.  Such a classy guy, that Roy.  And Pam takes off -- just another day at Dunder-Mifflin. 

Overall Thoughts

The first season, in general, I think is a little rough.  And the pilot is a direct copy of the British version -- which is grittier and more pathetic in a lot of ways.  I don’t think that much of this particular episode because I think it’s a softball of what the British version is.  (And, I’m not even a fan of the British version -- oops.)  That said, I think one thing it does have going for it is that it has some fully fleshed out, three-dimensional characters, which is a nice change from the zany sitcom character we often get on American television up to this point.  The Office will eventually fall to sitcom cliches, etc, etc, but one of the few things this first season has is that it does hold a lot of realism about it. 

Deleted Scenes and Extras

-There’s an alternate joke when Michael is introducing Pam where he states that every guy in the office has sprayed on Pam. 

-There’s a whole bit where Michael comes up to Pam, who’s sitting and eating her lunch, and discusses the health of his balls.  It’s gross on multiple levels. 

-There are two commentaries on the DVDs for this episode - and both are enjoyable to listen to, I recommend checking them out! 

-I’ll probably blug this once a season, but Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey started a podcast called The Office Ladies, which they discuss the episodes week after week.  It is an utter delight, and if you’re at all a fan of the show, an interested in a bunch of fun BTS stuff, it’s totally worth it! 

[kachinnate]

DEH on tour! 9/17/19

HI so i said i was gonna make a post describing my experience watching DEH last night so B^) if that’s a thing u sorta care abt i dropped it under the cut 

would like to start off that i had no idea that they were introducing a new touring evan and?? he’s fucking FANTASTIC ???? aH ,, but at first glance at the cast list, the only names i recognized were maggie and marrick’s.. and even then i only knew their names, i had no idea what they sounded like or even looked like tbh. if ur curious; 

evan: stephen christopher anthony jared: jared goldsmith larry: john hemphill alana: phoebe koyabe zoe: maggie mckenna cynthia: christiane noll heidi: jane pfitsch connor: marrick smith 

honestly........ i wasn’t displeased w/ a single one of these actors, holy FUCK they were so good?? i love obc w/ my entire heart, and i never thought i’d ever say this, but this cast is a CLOSE fuckin second dude. aahH. and not even because they sounded like the obc, like they all sounded completely different and brought a pretty different take to their characters and it was so..... good??? 

one specific thing that i noticed that happened in this performance compared to all the ones i’d seen before (broadway, two or three boots, two audios for arena stage) throughout was that there was a lot more.... crying? and like, just hearing that you’re probably like,, ‘oh, that’s annoying they probably made it a lot more extra :///’ but!! really i just think there was a different sort of depth that these actors took on in certain moments that made them like.... justifiable for crying when you’ve seen these scenes before and the mood was different and there weren’t tears... 

like, example: the beginning of the computer lab scene, when evan is writing his letter to himself, every evan that i’ve seen before this one read the letter out as he typed it in an almost defeated manner. like, he’s sad, obviously, how can u not be sad writing ‘maybe no one would notice if i disappeared’, but it sounds like he had long resigned to the fact that this was how things were. although it wasn’t super over the top or anything, stephen’s evan .. cried a little, like fully had some tears running down his face and was choked up as he got to the end of the letter, and i was like “!?!?!” cause it immediately gave off the sense that.. fuck, shit, evan really, really wanted his mom to be right, he genuinely had hope that today was going to be good, but.. it really wasn’t, and that kinda fuckin hurts?? like i think especially w/ us fans who know the show so well, we forget how legitimately dismal this letter is that he’s writing dsjkaefg like the murphy’s thought it was a suicide note bc it sounded like that and this might’ve been the first time i like.. didn’t question the confusion they had over it for a second, like of course you thought it was a suicide note , w/ the way evan wrote it it might as well have been 

another specifically notable moment was that alana cried throughout that scene following good for you?? like holy shit was i not prepared for that?? but she played it in a way that made so much sense, like she was so hurt that evan hadn’t cared about the project and maybe the stress of it’s weighed on her a lot because she’s just trying to do this good thing but like always everyone’s just left her to it and maybe she thought it’d be different w/ evan..... like there was a lot of pent up frustration and hurt in every word she said when i’m so used to hearing that scene delivered in a monotone, deadset, cold hurt sort of way. “i’ve moved on. obviously you don’t care.”, not “you know what?! i DON’T have time for this, I have to raise SEVENTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!” while choking up on tears like holy fuck alana did u really have to come for all of us like that 

(honestly in general phoebe played the best alana i’ve ever seen, hands down, period point blank, i fucking loved what she did w/ her character.... i’m not sure if she’s been alana for a while or if she’s new too, but oh my god????)

other notable cry things:

- connor was VERY audibly on the verge of tears on his “what are you laughing at?” line - when heidi and alana were singing at evan in good for you, jared was standing off to the side and was glaring daggers @ evan but was also.. crying a little and that fucking hurt  - ev was still croaky and teary from so big/so small into the scene before the finale, and zoe’s voice started catching a little halfway into their conversation and she had to stop a couple times to compose herself  - and then of course tears in the spots that usually have tears like words fail and so big so small and w/e but like. it hurt more i can’t describe it these actors personally Hurt My Feelings

all in all a lot more tears from both the characters and myself 

and just from all of THAT it goes without saying that there was a different, like... sort of depth that these characters brought to the table. stephen’s evan screamed desperate for a friend. i empathized with him immensely because literally every time he talked about fake!connor he sang so longingly and it was obvious that he needed needed needed this lie for himself too, like he wasn’t just telling it to the murphy’s to comfort them, he wanted so badly for this to be the truth for himself. the pull of the murphy’s caring about him and zoe was obviously there, but i truly didn’t think that was even a factor of this whole thing until into act 2. and even then... while it’s obvious that he’s in the wrong and his intentions get a bit more clouded, to me it feels like the general feel was “this has all gotten to out of hand, i can’t back out now, so i might as well just go along with all of this” instead of “oh hey this started as me trying to help the murphy’s but now my life is better? cool” 

his Evan Hansen Nervous Tick (tm) was wiping compulsively at his eyes (which, given how often they all cried is very valid but also kinda funny dsjgn) and his presence in general was very........... good. like, if you mix ben platt and taylor trensch’s energies, i think you’d get stephen’s evan’s stage presence, and really that’s the only way i can describe it djslgnsdg.. like he wasn’t Stoic and Awkward like ben was but he wasn’t as bouncy and quirky as taylor was, he was placed almost in the middle of those two and it... worked, i liked it a lot. it looked like he sort of hated being in his skin and sort of wanted to run away but he Won’t because he knows he needs to Try if he wants to be seen and that’s *chef’s kiss* a good energy that i can appreciate 

 jared goldsmith played his jared similarly to the way that will roland played his jared, but instead of being Blant about his love for evan he gave off a little bit more of a “haah yeh bro >B^)” energy... but still obviously gay because he’s jared, i don’t think u are legally allowed to play ur jared as a straight boy (source: will roland himself, and also the author of the deh book). something i REALLY loved specifically about his singing was that whenever they sing in a harmony, jared gets the top note, and ..... omg there was something about his voice that made the chord sound so fucking PRETTY like there’s no reason for me to be star eyed @ that ending note in sincerely, me, but here i am!!! also, jared was. tiny. SO small. how can so much chaos fit into such a small lad. 

 also i can’t remember when but there was a point where he said a line that was funny and he laughed at himself, and then the audience laughed, and then he continued to giggle and waited a few extra seconds to say his next line and it was the cutest thing i’ve ever seen 

extremely bitter at “look at you, helping the murphy’s”, he cried during good for you, and at the finale he is BEAMING at evan, like he is smiling SO BIG AT HIM, LIKE JARED GOLDSMITH PERSONALLY DECIDED “you know what, in my heart evan and jared did reconcile before the events of this moment and i’m going to make sure the audience knows because i’m going to look at him with an immeasurable amount of love in my eyes” and that was so fucking brave of him

maggie mckenna... maggie mckenna!! she was a wonderful zoe, i think she’s like my favorite zoe high key because oh my GOD? requiem fucking destroyed me... and like, i’m the odd one out because although that song is gorgeous, minus the first time i ever listened to it i never really was deeply deeply moved by it, like i understand the meaning of it and i know why it’s an extremely important song and i appreciate the amount of emotion that is portrayed within it, but to me it’s not really the Highlight of the show....... maggie’s voice was so beautiful, like soft and pretty during the beginning and powerful as FUCK on the bridge and!!!!! i wept for the first time during that song ever and i’m still shook abt it 

in general, maggie’s zoe was really balanced and well played and, like... real?? like, she was adorably hanging onto every word evan said as he stammered through their first interaction, albeit a little confused, when he’s over for dinner to talk about connor she’s indifferent and sort of aloof but it’s obvious that it’s from a place of like.. misplaced Hurt, even without knowing the plot already like it’s sort of obvious.... like maggie made it clear to the audience that zoe wasn’t supposed to be coldhearted or bitchy, she was a kid who’s been hurt by her brother and has every reason to not forgive him for it just because he’s gone and is now rightfully confused because now she has to try and cope with the fact that he might’ve been a good person even though every thing he’s ever done prior went against it, and.... ughsGDJ she was just!!! so good!!!!!! also, her chemistry that she had with evan was really real too and like.. i could believe that she actually fell for him, i could believe that she genuinely did like him for more reasons than a plot device, which is really refreshing bc i can’t rlly say that i saw that same level of like.. genuine chemistry between the evan and zoe i saw when we saw deh on broadway (it was still good, don’t get me wrong, but there was just something missing that i really only noticed by watching this performance). she’s kind of quirky and weird at some points too, which again is another thing that made her feel more real to me??? when evan was like “thank you” and touched her arms after she told him that she wasn’t breaking up with him, she fully reached out to touch his arms and fully bent her entire body in half, like her face was facing the ground and i audibly choked,, also she super gently like smacked his face at one point during only us and i heard it in his mic and he inhaled a lil sharply bc he was trying not to giggle and i. cri 

ngl, i’ve really only seen alana being played in one way up until now.... like, obviously every actor is going to play their character differently, and even from performance to performance there might be some change, but at least for the MOST part every alana i’ve seen has been straightforward: i’m chatty, i’m bright, i’m kind of lonely but i mean well and i REALLY care about this thing that we’re doing. there isn’t a lot of room for her to emote until, like... the whole good for you fiasco happens, the scene before it and after it, when she’s upset with evan for not helping, but even then there’s usually a trend with how she’s played. phoebe played her with SO much emotion and made her SO much more than what i expected to see??? like she cared... so much, but it was obvious that she was maybe not going about it in the right way. she seemed more like an awkward kid just like the rest of them, it was a bit more obvious that she didn’t think of herself as perfect, and it seemed a lot more clear that her intentions for helping out with the connor project were never about herself or making herself look good - it was because it genuinely meant something to her. yes, she was still a lot at times, but when evan accuses her of only being in it to help herself, it’s so like... evidently not true. like u don’t even have to see alana’s expression at all or hear how she responds, ur just immediately like “oh, so evan’s gonna be a dick now” because it’s just so obvious that it’s not like that at all, y’know?? alana had... big feelings, and she was more than the smart girl that drove the plot forward at points and gets screwed over by evan. also, her voice was extremely pretty as well *heart eyes emoji* 

both of the moms brought something similar to this show: it was obvious that while they started their characterization with what obc brought, they made it their own. they brought new mannerisms and choices up and they were both so??? fucking cute????? like they had extreme mom energy, at points it felt so real, like something about the whole scene with them talking together in the murphy house b4 good for you felt..... so so so real and it was disorienting. they both made me cry so like they definitely did their job 

ALSO the fucking way that heidi was looking at evan in the finale like. was one of the things that made me weep the hardest, like holy shit. she loves her son so much!!!!!! and i am CRYING !!!!!!!!! but anyway

*CLAPPING HANDS EMOJI* LARRY. FUCKING. MURPHY. oh my GOD he was an amazing larry !!!!!! like i know the fandom likes to demonize larry murphy but watching this man, i couldn’t think for a single second that this man was a bad father. he was trying so hard and just went about it in the wrong ways, and ... ghh... to break in a glove isn’t supposed to make you tear up but guess what (also this might be a personal problem but seeing him interact w/ evan gave me surges of feelings that reminded me that i have daddy issues ajdnGS like he was so. sweet. all the time, i want to throw a baseball around with this man and have him explain football to me even though i know i won’t understand it). his singing was rlly good too... like hearing it, i was like “ah. i can hear it in ur voice that when u were younger u were a bright tenor lad, but a bright tenor lad in the way that was good and not terribly nasally”  

marrick was really good, but i’m like 85% sure that he was sick :’( his voice caught and he had to clear his throat a few times during sincerely, me, and he had a break on a certain note and couldn’t go higher than that, which.... is rough because although connor isn’t super tenor-y all the time he definitely ... doesn’t sing just low (but when he did sing low? *chefs kiss*) but other than that? v good acting, like evan this connor just... rlly wanted a friend. he almost cried when evan started laughing at him, and he sounded extremely devastated when he read the note... as evan’s OC, he played it very Defeated(tm) instead of confrontational, which obvs Hurt bc evan was fully like “no!!!! i fell!!” while connor was just “ did u. or did u let go.” u don’t gotta be confrontational when u are the inner demons of a boy and aren’t actually a person yaknow >B’’’’^) nevertheless i am crying xoxo!!!!!!!

all in all?? fucking incredible, i can’t believe i had the opportunity to see this cast and i’m going to hold them in a v special place in my heart :’) 

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Raising Hell

So, uh, basically I have no idea why anything in this episode happens or what its point is supposed to be. Having looked up who wrote it somewhere in the middle, I am completely lacking in surprise.

I mean, the first bit pretty much sets the tone.  Chatty Corpsy spouts exposition a mile a minute, then gets killed, and the ghost stands over her and spells disembowel.  Is that actually supposed to be scary?  Funny?  Anything but an absolutely bizarre waste of my time?

A bunch of dudes with basically nothing but FBI jackets and a bullshit story to back themselves up with convince an entire town to camp out in the local high school for two days without anybody figuring out they're full of shit.  You know, what with smartphones existing and all.  Plausible!

Furthermore, I have become convinced that everyone in this writer's room genuinely believes there is nothing scarier than a bunch of random antagonists standing around in a room pontificating at each other.  It's all demons do anymore. It's all angels do anymore.  Oh, fucking look, here's a bunch of goddamn ghosts doing it, too!  A fucking thrill a minute, I tell you.

Also, you know how the episode with H.H. Holmes was actually scary?  Whether or not you think it's in questionable taste for them to use real life serial killers at all, the reason they included him was because the whole murder castle deal and semi-mythical legends about him made for a scary premise they actually used in the episode.  I ignored the thing with it being Gacy before in Lebanon because there was more important stuff going on, but contrast the current writers' choices with him and this Jack the Ripper guy with the use of Holmes.  Here they're just throwing out the names of real life murderers to try and make their villains scary in the cheapest, fastest way possible.  Just like bringing back “Bloody Mary” that just kills whoever, this loudmouthed windbag has nothing to do with the name they're stealing to try and make him scary.

Also, the spell demon guy did is keeping the ghosts in, right?  Sure, it's going to fail, but at the moment, it's supposed to be an impassible barrier, yes?  So why, exactly, is it necessary for Sam to call in his goon squad to join the four of them in wandering into the danger zone to shoot at 'em? Seriously, why?  Shooting them dissipates them for a few seconds, maybe minutes.  They’re not laying out additional salt or iron lines or doing anything that might genuinely help contain the ghosts, they’re just putting themselves in danger because ...?  The mooks could also be better spent guarding the major entrance points to the town and/or the townies and/or doing research back at the bunker into what they're going to try next after the barrier fails.  But those things would actually make sense and prevent the shambling zombie that is the writers’ pathetic attempt at a plot in this episode being pushed into something vaguely resembling action. 

I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Rowena is now suddenly unable to do something with her powers that she did before.  Hey, remember when she stole that page out of the damned book to make herself more powerful to unseal her full powers (even though they touted her as the most powerful witch ever to begin with) and that was in season 13, well after the ghost-crystal-bomb thing?  But LOL, now she's even weaker?  This is exactly why nothing matters anymore.  Things that worked previously (angel powers, witch powers, the Colt, whatever) suddenly and randomly don't work to do the exact same jobs for … reasons.  The thing that makes it even dumber is they could have said that the ghost containing spell and crystal ghost sucking spell interfered with each other somehow.  Still at a bullshit level of convenience, but it doesn't involve making everyone and everything's powers completely arbitrary just because fuck continuity, that’s why!

Then Ketch shows up to save the Winchesters from their sudden attack of brain damage.  The show has provided an entire. fucking. town. full of angry ghosts straight from hell.  But actually bother to write a scene of Sam and Dean legit getting over their heads in a believable way?  Why fucking bother when you can just make them astoundingly incompetent.  It is literally unbelievable that Sam and Dean would not recognize those people as possessed fucking immediately.  Yet they stand there with rock salt filled shotguns doing sweet fuckall confronted by three fucking ghosts so Ketch can make a big entrance.  Is there a rule on a board somewhere in the writer's room that Sam and Dean have to be made to look incompetent at least once an episode?  Is this some kind of revenge for having to still write the main characters they're so clearly bored with?  Are these idiots just so fucking stupid they don't realize how insulting this is?  Did they run out of money for extras and the stunt coordinator?  

Also, someone explain to me how tiny flakes of metal are going to be less harmful to a human body than rock salt.  I'll wait.  They just really really wanted Ketch as one of the BMoL guys to have some kind of specialized gadget but couldn’t give him something actually potentially useful for the situation at hand.

Again, these writers really want to be writing a bad soap opera with occasional supernatural elements.  So despite that it's the final fucking season, we have time for Rowena and Ketch flirting.  Not to mention that they also give the only major female character even more relationship drama with the Jack the Ripper guy later.  If it's not questionably skeevy, it's not Bucklemming! 

Also, Castiel is not good at inspirational speeches, just like he’s frustratingly almost never good at anything else these days (those healing powers that were working last week? ha! forget it!).  Anyway, why do they keep having him make them?  Are we as the audience supposed to find them convincing though they never work on the target?  Are we supposed to feel bad for all the ~*feelings*~ Castiel supposedly has despite being an angel who isn’t supposed to have emotions the same way humans do?  I guess this particular one is to further show that Dean’s still mad (which I am absolutely 100% behind) but eh, whatever.  Though I guess that still ranks it above most of the episode sitting at a solid WTF, no really, WTF?!

Now we get to the part where they bring Kevin back for no fucking reason beyond that he's a “fan favorite”.  None of it makes a single tiny speck of sense.  Let's skip right past the fundamental absurdity of how Chuck apparently did this for literally no reason just to be a dick when he was actively trying to pretend not to be a dick.  Kevin has a “bad boy” reputation (come the fuck on) because God Himself cast him down - so him being in hell would have to be fairly common knowledge, for it to result in him having a reputation.  Except literally no demon Sam & Dean ran into between 11.21 and now taunted them with it?  Crowley, who was still alive and fucking King of Hell through season 12 never noticed and either told the Winchesters or tried to trade on it?  BULL and SHIT.  This is pretty close to the same scale of insult to continuity and the audience’s intelligence as these two fuckwits suddenly writing Lucifer as the older brother. 

Then in typical fashion, Sam & Dean discuss their plans to totes send Kevin to heaven in front of demon guy just so they can be told OH NOES!  He totally can't go to heaven!  So sad!  The poor widdle woobie!  Fuck off with this shit, show.  Not even to mention that they take the word of a demon as gospel truth when there is no time crunch or clear lack of better options.  It's all those many many hits to the head, I guess.  That I do actually find quite sad.  I mean, I don't actually want Kevin hanging around like a bad smell while they divert from actually important shit to try and get him to heaven where it makes no sense for him not to already be.  But at the end they don't even arrange some way to keep in touch just in case the fucking demon might be (gasp) lying?

Hey, I did actually like the exchange between Dean and Sam over Chuck poking his corresponding wound.  Oh, look, it's Sam's “I'm totally lying” face, followed by Dean's “I totally know you're lying but I'll let it go for now, Sam” face.  It was a great moment that required very little dialogue to work quite well.  It's such a shame nobody's making a show about these two characters!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The absurdity keeps on coming, too.  In the whole two days they've been wasting time in Sunshine Daylightville they never discussed how long the spell would last?  Oh, right, they were too busy wandering into the ghost zone to shoot at 'em for shits and giggles to care about that, I guess.  Not to mention the whole “just cast it again!” is remarkably blasé about it requiring a 'fresher the better!' human heart.

More ghosts blathering at each other.  Yay.  This supposed Jack the Ripper guy is just always in the right place at the right time to hear all the gossip, knows every random thing he could possibly need to, and already has the power to intimidate and attack other ghosts. He's basically ghost!Asmodeus, who also steals AU!Michael's original idea of how to get through the barrier, because we really needed time spent discussing the world's most obvious plan.  Also, we've seen ghosts able to attack and absorb the power of other ghosts, but it was because they had already been doing it for a while.  This guy is just as fresh out of hell as everybody else, but he's more powerful and knowledgeable and totes threatening!!!  Well, I'm convinced and not on the verge of napping from boredom.

Naturally for reasons, Rowena goes into town entirely by herself without protection with their only real hope of containing the ghosts before the barrier breaks down instead of anybody insisting on her going with backup.  That's what anybody with a brain would do!  

Of course no one asks where Ketch has been the whole time.  Or even thinks of trying to test him after he was last seen literally knocked unconscious in the middle of ghost central where we know there are plenty of ghosts angry enough to be capable of possession.  Nope, why would anyone even think to do that?  Everything in this “plot” that happens requires all of the characters to be completely fucking stupid.

I'm going to assume by “you” Ketch meant “you Winchesters” because Mary wasn't there.  It probably didn't, because Bucklemming, but fuck it.  It's the least egregious stupidity in this episode that's a cornucopia of choices for the worst.

I … actually like the scenes with Chuck and Amara?  So, you know, that's something!  

Then the episode ends with the guys looking at all the ghosties still shooting up from hell and wring their hands about what they're going to do and maybe they should get on that!  Again, if Sam's flunkies aren't all dead, why aren't their worthless asses already researching this shit over the past two days?  It's not like it's new news that there was a big open hole to hell at the center of the problem and there was honestly nothing but wrangling some cranky civilians to interfere with trying to think ahead to that.

In summary, this episode is a constant showcase of the problems that result when you set incompetent morons who don't recognize their own inadequacy to write characters who are actually supposed to be intelligent experts at their work.  It's a joke – except not at all funny.

[pinkletterday]

Okay so the Flash tag was very misleading. This wasn't the best 100th episode they could have done but it was the sweetest.

Don't get me wrong, none of that painfully contrived plot made a lick of sense, starting with being so blasé about going back in time when its pretty much the golden rule for them to not do that anymore (and er. Did Hunter Solomon just get Time Wraithed five episodes too early? What?) Nora not knowing Eobard killed her grandmother what in fuck and the whole thing about popping up the same day S2 Barry did (I know it was supposed to be all tense and menacing but I was giggling so hard. Someone should write a fic about various Barry Allens interrupting Thawne's work day to heckle him into fixing more and more shit. "Hi. My name is Barry Allen. You killed my mother. How do I fix the plumbing in STAR Labs? Bitch.")

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE WHY DID THEY KEEP VOLUNTEERING THAWNE INFORMATION.

After all that, the plan didn't even work.

BUT OH MY GOD I LOVED KILLER FROST. She is the most badass bitch and I can tell DP has a blast playing her. Train her up and send her against Cicada for real, cause that fight I would watch.

I loved seeing Eowells with Cisco and Caitlin, I loved revisiting all those milestone moments through Nora's eyes, and my God this episode was 75 % the tour de force that is Tom Cavanaugh. He nailled every scene - the suave menace of pre-series Eowells, the barely contained malice of S1 Eowells, the frenetic single-minded, almost callous version of Harry we first met and (sigh) Sherloque. Who somehow managed to be so distinct from the other personas that I didn't even think to compare his absurdity to the groundedness of Harry and Eowells. Cavanaugh's direction was also beautiful and seamless, even with all the recycled shots.

I didn't even mind missing Iris as much as I would have - she was always there somehow, maybe because of Nora. Mama Flash trying her hardest not to be the closed off woman who holds her daughter back, encouraging her husband to do the same. And then stepping back and letting them do their thing, trusting them to come back home to her.

Seeing her shooting Savitar to save Barry, seeing her be the one to hold and comfort him before they were ever together and then watching them so young and innocent waiting in the crowd during the pilot really encapsulated their journey together (thank god Eddie wasn't in this. Nothing against the character, I just hate that he existed at all). Iris has always been Barry's secret hope through his whole life. During the Zoom episode they were still tentatively trying to find a new footing between feelings that could not yet be spoken and the entirety of S3 was spent in terror that fate would still rip her away. Now they're rock solid and their daughter is right there next to Barry, the promise and realization of everything he had ever hoped for him and Iris.

I love Iris and Westallen, but The Flash has always been Barry Allen's story first. Taking his daughter through the journey of all his mistakes and defeats instead of his victories was such an aching, vulnerable choice. I'm not perfect, I've never been the man you think I was, I have made so many mistakes and been hurt so badly and all I have learned from it is how much I cannot change, no matter how powerful I become, no matter how much I love. It was the moment when he went from "father" to "Barry Allen" in Nora's eyes; when she started to see him as a person first. I understand and I still want to know you. Still love you. It was the most heartaching moment. And such a shock for Nora to realize that they both know the trauma of losing a parent, such a terrible connection to share.

Nora visiting her grandparents killed me. The Allens so young and happy and whole, not knowing their lives are about to be ripped apart in moments. Barry simply turning up at her side, almost casually, guessing she'd go there because he does the same thing. The quiet, sad resignation in his eyes when he says "every day." He has had to experience and accept Nora's own nightmare, that nothing she does will change her family's fate. How many times has he time travelled just to see his parents like this, knowing he could change it but also knowing the price of doing so is too great? His family in front of him, flesh and blood and alive, but still only ghosts he can never touch nor save?

But then Nora's there, again the living reminder of all that he stands to gain, all that of himself and his loves that will continue. Nora carries Barry's mother and father in her blood, Iris and Joe, and the legacy of his own life. And she's there, smiling at him, pulling him out of the past into the future.

Barry is still young, but he's aged beyond his years. The non-linear confusion of his life doesn't help him advance in stages. He's twenty-five and shaped by a vendetta ten years into the future, he's twenty seven and faced with himself a thousand years old and warped, he's watched every timeline unfold in the Speed Force till his mind broke apart, and now he's the father of a young woman he's never yet held as a baby and still loves with all his heart because she is his. It's such a surreal dissonance of age and identity when Nora calls him "old man". For a moment, he remembers that he's still young, and young enough to be hilariously offended by it.

I'm not going to touch on the Nora-working-with-Thawne "reveal" because we've seen that coming from the first. Instead I want to gush about Jessica Parker Kennedy. You guys, this woman is incredible. She was the sweetest, most precious thing this episode, the perfect audience surrogate. She has killed every scene she's in so far this season, so much so that her calling Barry and Iris "Mom and Dad" has never seemed weird, her love and connection to them has never seemed untrue, keeping her character so emotionally balanced right where she needs to sell it that we don't think overmuch about her bizarre age situation (2049? Really?). I don't know why this fandom doesn't appreciate her more, especially the Westallen fandom. Nora is literally the legacy of the show and of Barry and Iris's love. I cannot imagine anyone other than Jessica doing it so much justice.

Special notes:

- I wish we had more Golden Trio moments. Barry, Cait and Cisco's friendship was the lynchpin of the first two seasons and its disintegration in the third season is something that still hasn't been healed. SHOW ME BARRY'S CARE AND LOVE FOR CAITLIN SNOW. SHOW ME BARRY'S LOVE FOR CISCO.

- I am always torn between appreciating what this show wants to tell me and frustration of how badly it's usually told. Nora seeing Iris being Barry's comfort and support during one of his worst moments before they were ever together should have been heartwarming. But instead of showing a sweet, silent moment where Barry is allowed to curl up in her lap while she holds him in the aftermath of a traumatic experience, we see her pushing him to get up again before he even changes out of his suit. It made the scene seem so forced and contrived. Sometimes it's like the writers only know the theory of how humans work.

- It stood out to me again how embedded Cisco is in the emotional narrative of this show. It's Barry's story but Cisco's universe, his presence is vital, ubiquitous, pervasive. Seeing him innocent and sweet and vulnerable with Eowells, craving his approval, and then seeing him face down Cicada as a confident full-fledged superhero (are my baby's hands healed now?) was so satisfying. His character arc has been so amazing and consistent through four seasons of shoddy and uneven writing. He is literally the Samwise to Barry's Frodo and the fact that we havent heard stories of Uncle Cisco from Nora is a farce.

- I know fandom jumped on "at least you still have one" as a reference to Donovan's existence but I'm wondering if it's a reference to Thawne's own daughter Melonie. Did she still marry Don in his future or was she erased?

- I like that Eowells touched on the fact that Savitar was actually Barry. It gets persistently glossed over, that while Barry can't be held responsible for his future self, it was very much still him. I hate that Savitar was our Barry because the fact that any version of him could ever kill Iris is such a fundamental betrayal of his character, but jeez, if you're going to put it out there at least explore the ramfications of that concept in full.

- I missed Jesse L. Martin so much. I had really hoped we could have at least gotten five minutes of recycled footage of him.

- Also missed my cinnabun Cecile, and I want to see Iris interacting with her new sister! I need her to hold Jenna trying to imagine what Nora will feel like in her arms. I want Wally to be delighted at having a sibling he can watch grow up. GIVE ME MY WEST FAMILY DAMN IT.

- I still want my vow renewal (will literally kill someone for it at this point, preferably Guggy. No one will miss him) but that last iconic porch scene with the Allens is a compromise I can live with.

All in all, not the best 100th episode we could have gotten but very far from the worst.