#literally got on campus and couldn’t write shit anymore lmao

[kuiinncedes]

c:

[hyunverse]

you’re so right hyunjin would 100% write you literally anything you like or would just come up w smth new whenever he felt like it. also would def just give you artwork he made for you 🥲. imagine him giving you little pieces of your fave animal or his fave pic of you guys together </////3 god id be in shambles. also i did not realize malaysia was that hot ?? i couldn’t do it i hateeeeee the heat. but then i also hate the cold. like i’ll literally be going to school in -20C weather where i live😭😭 it’s so awful. so spring and fall are 100% my times of the year like i’m always happiest at those times bc the weather is just normal

so true men are just men. i think we got lucky w our skz’s zodiacs. bc changbin is the only leo man that can exist okay 🙅🏻‍♀️ he is nothing like these average ass horrible leo men. he’s bias wrecking me so hard lately like he’s literally fighting w hyunjin rn for the spot. i can hear them bickering in the back of my head 😒😒

ALSO RIGHT i can’t help but baby him 💔💔 same w seungmin i just want to squish his cheeks 💔💔💔 manifesting seungmo forehead rn 🙏🏼. SO IMPRESSED W THE BOWLING BTW THATS AWESOMEEEE. i hope you had sm fun 😋 i’ll have to try it again soon and lyk. most likely i’ll be shit but it’s worth a try. my day was not the besttttt i’m rly stressed out and have a ton of crap going on but seeing ur response made my day ^_^. i saw it and blushed and squealed not even kidding. ur the sweetest you always put a smile on my face. i hope your day is good today :)) i think it’s like 6 am there rn which is so funny bc i’m about to eat dinner. like it’s cool to think we’re doing our opposite routines at the same time. does that even make sense ?? 😭 this is what i mean w the rambling i’m just 💔 LOL

alsoooooo i’m gonna reply to your other post here too and say i’m so glad you moved on from those pos’s. relationships suck and that’s why i read fanfics like yours to fill the void 🙏🏼. i’m jk i’ve also moved on but im a lover girl at heart so not being in a relationship is legit torture. like i just want to talk to someone and be loved and like go on dates 🙄 KISSES AND HUGS FOR U THO you deserve all of them bae <33

- 🐈‍⬛ (spammed again omg what is my PROBLEM ?? you bring out the talk in me and most ppl can’t do that <33 i can’t help it ur too kind)

hyun <3 painting u <3 with a fond smile in his face <3 they don’t make men like him anymore!

malaysia IS hot bae. . . it’s located at the equator </3 spring and fall seems so pretty, especially fall!! like dawggg i wanna be jumping on piles of fallen leaves too mane 😔🙏 dress up cute ‘n stuff. i will be showing up everywhere lookin like rory gilmore 💯 everytime i see an autumn grwm i gotta stop myself from kicking and throwing a tantrum cs i don’t live somewhere with the four seasons 🤸‍♀ -20°C weather is insane i would literally drown myself in boiling water 🧘‍♀

the thought of changjin bickering IS SO FUNNY like those two istg. . . love how hyunjin rejects every single one of changbin’s affections LMAO i always laugh at them. binnie in the samsung ad got the girlies going CRAZY LIKEEEEE. . .

i get the desire to be loved tbh. likeeee feeling loved is so nice but at the same time i feel like i have no mental span for a relationship anymore 💀 i am so busy during the times i am in campus so having a bf wud probably be disastrous for me.

u need to come bowling with me i Will defeat u 💯 LMFAOOO. or maybe you, too, will find out that ure actually a hidden bowling prodigy. u never know ykyk. also yeah timezones are so odd but it is somewhat painfully endearing. . . ? just two people doing opposite routines but still being able to be friends at the same. isnt that so cute omg. i’m sorry your day was crap my love, here i giv u minho pics to hopefully make ur day today better than yesterday’s!!

mwahmwah sending u my love sweetheart <3

[uzuitengensfourthwife]

Roommate (Suguru Daishou x fem!Reader) College AU

Warnings: some teasing, my bad writing but other than that none

Word count: 2371

Authors note: and this too was written back in October LKADNHDJF Im so sorry but this just had to be posted here at some point, so why not now? *proceeds to lip bite* Anyways lmao skdnnf I think suguru is so damn underrated and he isnt even as bad as people might think he is so yeah, here is my oh so badly written suguru fanfic. Enjoy!!

(2 months ago)

It was Friday evening, a day you and your roommate usually binge-watched movies and series, but not today. The sudden change in plans was a change you didn't want. After all, the change of plans meant helping your roommate to pack his stuff and help him bring it into his new Unit. A Unit that was far away from his previous one and it made you feel dejected. You wouldn't be able to see him that often anymore and for once you grew close to someone outside of Japan.

, Ow c'mon Y/N. Don't be sad. I bet your new roommate will be nice as well.'' You let out a grown as you let yourself fall down on your bed. , Yeah but he's not you and you're like my only friend here in the Unit.'' Christian let out a chuckle and then suddenly got up from his kneeling position, getting his backpack and suitcase. , Well, you'll be alright, '' he threw some of his last stuff in his backpack. ,,After all my new Unit isn't even that far away.'' - ,,Christian, what is 'not far away' about 30 fucking minutes?'' you huffed in annoyance, sitting up again death glaring your 'ex' roommate. His laugh filled up the room as he threw his backpack over his shoulder, it was time for him to go, and then again you felt miserable. You wanted him to stay, but it was his decision after all. After two full years with Christian you knew you weren't the reason why he left, he left for other plausible reasons.

,, Alright let me help you then.'' You announced, grabbing one of his bags opening the door for him. A smile was plastered across his face as he walked past you with all his belongings. Letting out a last sigh you followed him, hoping your future roommate would be as subtle as Christian...

//

After helping Christian carrying and unpacking his stuff in his new Unit, you just made it back to your Unit. You were tired and felt like a piece of shit. Christian was one of the only people you interacted with on campus and the only one in your unit. The rest of your friends attended Universities in Japan, mostly in Tokyo or Osaka, just the minimum was somewhere outside of Japan, including you. Moreover, it was hard for you to find friends since you lacked in social skills. And having a new roommate would totally throw you off, you didn't even know how you wanted to welcome him, you were just too socially awkward for this.

So when you finally opened the door to your little 'apartment' and discovered a new pair of shoes next to all of your shoes, you freaked out. He was already here and you literally had nothing to offer him. Not even goddamn chewing gum. This would most definitely turn into some second hand embarrasment, you were sure about it. You closed the door when you suddenly heard footsteps slowly coming your way. ,,I'm really sorry that I just barged in but you weren't here so I let myself in.'' There he was, standing in front of you. You recognised him right away. Suguru Daisho, the high school rival of a friend of yours. ,,Well well, if that isn't our Miss Nekoma Manager, Y/N it is, right?'' he leaned onto to wall, giving you one of his smug smirks.

,,Of all people, it really just had to be you, huh?'' you spat out ironically, slipping out of your shoes as you walked up to him. ,,Ouch Y/N, you hurt my heart.'' Letting out a fake sob, he touched his chest and tried to look as hurt as possible which made you sigh out in annoyance, so you walk past him showing no reaction. ,,Jesus, you're no fun.'' - ,, Never intended to be fun, especially when it comes to you.'' As you replied to his complaint, you just plopped down on the little couch, already missing Christian. You really were so close to just change units as well. It hadn't even been 5 minutes yet, but here you are already considering to move out. What an awful day you had. And your next years in Uni would get even worse with him as your roommate.

But things turned out quite differently.

You imagined living with Suguru must be the most annoying thing ever, but you were so wrong. First, you really thought he was just trying to get on your sweet side and then act like an asshole again, but you started to reconsider when he brought home some chocolates for you. It wasn't just that, no he did so much more for you, and all of that in just two months.

He cooked for you, whenever he had time. When you woke up every morning, there was breakfast on the table. He helped you with studying and kept his distance whenever he knew you needed some time for yourself. And most importantly, he never invited friends over, since it didn't take him long to find out you just couldn't interact with people. Of course his teasing side would come out sometimes, leaving some comments here and there, but he changed and not only by a bit no, he changed a lot and even for the better.

Living with him was easier than you thought.

And yet, yet the old things would obviously come back because today you wanted to tell Kuroo, who was and still is one of your best friends from high school, that Suguru was your roommate. God, you were nervous. You knew Kuroo has always hated him and he will most definitely not stop hating him, even despite the fact that you grew quite close to him.

So when you pressed the 'call' button on your laptop, you really just didn't want to tell him, but you had to. Even if you wouldn't tell him now, he would find out somehow. You really wanted to tell him in person, rather than him finding out and then getting mad at you as well.

Once his faced showed up on your screen you smiled and waved, shoving away the nervousness you just had. ,,Hey Hey Tets!'' - ,,Hey! How're you doing over there?'' he smiled, taking a sip from the cup wich was located right next to him. ,,Well Im doing pretty good! How're you and the boys doing?'' Kuroo's face turned dark, making you worry, but once you've heard his answers you couldn't have expected less from such an idiot as him. ,,Well we're all doing pretty good.... and yet I feel broken, Kenma's ignoring me once again.'' He sobbed ironically, making you smile in an instant. You had to admit it, you missed the old times. The time you guys were still in Highschool, enjoying life and just having fun. But over all you just missed your friends, you always see them hanging out with each other, going on trips together while you were stuck with boredom and nothing but schoolwork. Of course your friends were part of the University life as well, however it seemed like they had much more time than you. Less worries than you.

,,You know Tets... I miss you guys a lot.'' You whispered as you nervously played with a stuffed animal, that was standing right next to your laptop. Showing affection wasn't really your thing, yet you missed your group of friends way too much to just ignore it like that. ,,Awe Y/N, we miss you too! Once you're back we're definitely going out somewhere! Oh and you should bring Christian as well!! Come to think of it.... where is Christian?''

You chocked on your saliva. ,,Oh god are you okay?'' Kuroo worriedly stated as you coughed. Why now, you had nearly forgotten about it, and yet all of the good had to come to an end. So when you finally stopped coughing you assured your friend that you were okay, but you most definitely weren't okay, you didn't even know where to start. You couldn't possibly just go ,,Ah yeah forgot to tell you, but Christian changed units. Suguru and I are now roommates.'.There was no way you could tell him. Literally no way.

But while you were overthinking this whole situation, suddenly Suguru made his entry.

,,Eyo Y/N can you-'' - ,, What is he doing here?'' Kuroo frantically yelled as he regocnised Suguru, pointing at him through your screen. Great, you thought. This could've gone better if you had the guts to bring it up earlier, but of course your friend had to find out like this. Luck was definetily not on your side today. ,,Oi roosterhead, still lying about your height huh?'' Suguru smirked as he placed himself right behind you, moving closer to the laptop. ,,Get lost.''Kuroo scoffed and now looked at you while still pointing at Suguru. ,,Why's he here?'' he repeated himself, not leaving you out of his sight once. Yet you looked away, trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible, you would even prefer hiding behind Suguru than sitting here. ,,He's my new roommate... Christian changed units.'' You whispered slowly looking back to see if he was still watching you.

Suguru took his chance and moved closer to you as he purred. ,,Wait, you didn't tell him babe?'' Oh god you forgot the petnames he had for you and you hated him for using them on you now. After he moved in and you finally got along pretty well, he started with all these ridiculous pet names, just like honey. And oh god...this was definitely not going to end well.

,,Can you tell him to fucking leave?'' Kuroo asked, seemingly annoyed of your roommates presence. ,,Alright alright I'll leave, just don't forget our business later.'' and with that he left your room.

The sudden awkward silence that was between you and your best friend was more than just uncomfortable for you. In fact, you hated it, you just wanted to disappear. ,,How long?'' He was the first one to finally break the silence and you knew he was upset, after all Suguru just walked in and you didn't tell him at all. ,,Two months..'' you whispered, full of regret. Kuroo then sighed, hand on his forehead as he leaned back to process what he has just heard. ,,Two months? God.... why didn't you tell me?'' - ,, Listen I was scared.... I know you don't like him but we got along so well..'' you stuttered, trying to avoid his gaze again. Honestly you were scared. All this time you were scared that you might lose your friend, although this might be a stupid reason to end a friendship, you were still terrified.

,,Hey that's fine Y/N, liking each other and having a relationship is fine! Im not even mad I promise!'' You looked at him as he smiled, to let you know that it was fine. All you could do was smile back and be thankful that he wasn't mad at you. ,,Oh and we're not really in a relationship..'' You stated and let out a nervous giggle. Kuroo on the other hand leaned in closer and then whispered. ,,Yeah right hon.'' - ,,Kuroo.'' You warned, holding up your finger just as you were about to scold him. ,,Anyways, seems like you have some unfinished business with the snake, so go for it.'' You huffed, ready to protest that there was no business to finish, but before you could tell him otherwise he disappeared from you screen.

Sighing out in annoyance, you got up from your chair to go scold your roommate for his bold words he has spoken during your videocall. So when you saw him doing some schoolwork you seated yourself in front of him, death glaring him. ,,Just what exactly were you thinking?''you hissed in such a sharp tone, that even suguru backed off for a second. But he quickly collected himself and leaned in closer just to smirk at you. ,,What do you mean babe?" he asked, his voice soft and unbothered. You groaned again, leaning in closer as well. ,,He thinks we have a thing." - ,,So?" his reply was bold, just like as if he didn't care about your current situation at all, which was weird to you since he usually never acted or talked to you this way.

You answered him, voice quiet. ,,So you're just going to leave it there?''

The confusion was plastered all over his face. You didn't really know what left him so confused, but you needed answers and as for that you waited for an answer. ,,Wait wait wait.'' he said, holding up both his hands. ,,Is that disappointment I hear?'' - ,,Never.'' You leaned back, looking away and thinking how to continue this conversation, which obviously seemed pointless to your roommate. But it wasn't pointless to you, your friend literally just hung up on you just because of this stupid statement the guy in front of you had made. ,,Why did you say these things? What did you even mean by unfinished business? That's not appropri-'' you got cut off midsentence. ,,We still haven't decided what we wanted to cook this weekend. That's what I meant babe.'' he stated, as he held up a paper with an amused expression.

,Oh' you mouthed, sitting there in embarrassment as you tried to avoid his gaze. The embarrassment just grew bigger as you realised what you were actually thinking about.

,,Well well, it's okay to have these thoughts about me. But next time you might as well share them with me.'' His grin grew bigger, putting down the paper he just lifted up a second ago. That's it, you thought, he has crossed the line. You then suddenly stood up, cheeks flushing red as you huffed out in annoyance once again. ,,You're the worst.'' you muttered, stomping away to your room in an instant, shutting your door. But something was odd. No, you... you felt something odd happening to you.

You then realised your fastened heartbeat, your hot cheeks, still flushed in a light pink shade,you...you were confused.

Just.... what... what was this feeling?

[sunshinejins]

if i was dying on my knees (you’d be the one to rescue me)

(title from brother by kodaline)

so, hi!  jatp has reignited my desire to write again and this time i think i might actually finish a whole fic.  so uh, here it is :) please let me know if you like it, I’ll hopefully update asap, but i’m in uni so asap may be in like two weeks.  unless people really like it.  then, probably sooner lmao.

pairing: julie molina x luke patterson

fandom: julie and the phantoms

warnings: death bc rose, and i swear once but other than that i think nothing else?

Julie didn’t want to be frustrated, she really didn’t.  In fact, she wanted to be sad, mourning, depressed, or literally anything other than slightly pissed off all the time.  It’s incredibly exhausting to be angry all the time, and she felt like being sad would at least give her blood a break from simmering.

But her mom died.  And apparently her body only knows how to process grief by developing a rather annoying tendency to be irritated constantly.

She tries to forget it though.  Instead of wallowing in the negative feelings that cloud her family in the months following Rose Molina’s death, she throws herself into distractions.  She gets a job at a coffee shop near the USC campus and puts almost all her effort into becoming a top employee.  Her grades don’t drop because thankfully her professors seemed to all inherently understand that she just couldn’t sing anymore.  Like at all.

The world kept spinning.  Julie could only hope to hold on.

That’s how she ended up, six months later, complaining over a milk frother about her very well-intentioned best friend to the only person she knew would listen.

“Flynn just doesn’t understand,” Julie moans, shutting off the machine and dumping the contents unceremoniously into a to-go cup.  Her coworker, Allison, raises an eyebrow and swipes a rag at the milk spill that pools under the cup.

“Did she try to get you to sing again?”

“Surprise karaoke night with her girlfriend and a couple kids from class.  Her intentions were pure though so I don’t even know why I’m upset.” Julie shoves a lid onto the cup and slides it across the counter to a pre-occupied businessman who doesn’t notice the extra milk soaked into the bottom.  Allison nods thoughtfully and starts dumping coffee beans into the espresso machine.  Julie watches her with slight awe.  Allison was one of those people that terrified Julie when she met her; everything about her felt polished and put together down to the blunt cut of her pale blonde hair and the curve of her smirk when she smiled.  Soon enough, Julie discovered that she was as warm as any of her other friends, but it had taken a lot of closing shifts and smoothie runs to come to that conclusion.

Allison sets down the bag of coffee beans and gives Julie one of her solemn looks; it’s the sort of look where Julie thinks Allison could probably read her mind if she tried hard enough.

“Maybe they’re going about it wrong.  You haven’t been around music properly in what?  A year?  What if you just need to sit and listen to music again to just get you used to the environment?” Julie thinks for a moment.  Allison raises a fair point, and it’s the complete opposite tactic that everyone else has been trying, which has been to shove music in front of her to sing and give her expectant and hopeful looks. It’s a trial run.  Something casual.

“Where would I go?” Allison smiles a bit and passes Julie a container of oat milk to put away.

“There’s a bar off Sunset that’s hosting an open mic tonight.  Very relaxed and casual vibes.  I could pick you up from your apartment and take you.  We haven’t hung out since that movie night a while ago.”  Julie hesitates.  It’s not that she’s opposed to spending a night with Allison, but a small part of her feels like she’s cheating on her current circle of emotional support humans by agreeing to go. Not that her dad or Carlos or Tia would mind, but Flynn would possibly take offence and that alone stalled Julie for longer than she realized. Allison clocks the look on her face and amends the statement.

“Flynn is obviously welcome too.”

A mind reader, Julie swears. 

“Hell yeah. Let’s do this.”

***

Julie’s feeling significantly less optimistic when Allison’s car has been driven away by the valet and herself, Flynn, and Allison are all standing in line outside the club. Julie can feel the bass of the songs playing more than she can hear them, but the proximity of music is enough to make her palms sweat. Other than the music the coffee shop plays and the strains of country she hears through Carlos’ wall, Julie hasn’t heard proper music since Tia Victoria sang “Amazing Grace” for her mother’s funeral. Flynn notices her nervous look. 

“Chill, Jules. It’s all very chill. We’re just gonna listen to a couple bands.” 

“Flynn’s right. And if at any point you want to bail, we can go get soft pretzels.” 

“But we should try and stay for the whole thing!”

“However, we’re also going to respect you if you can’t do that,” Allison punctuates this sentence with a meaningful eyebrow raise and Flynn nods vigorously. Julie swallows and tries to mimic the courage she had a few hours ago.  The bartender scrutinizes their IDs for a moment before allowing them to sweep into the bar and Julie’s jaw nearly drops at the volume of people contained inside.  Nearly every seat is filled, and the standing areas are packed with people all jamming to the band onstage that’s currently playing what Julie has to admit is a pretty kick ass cover of “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers.  

Allison somehow discovers a table near the edge of the bar, and disappears off to get them drinks.  Flynn’s rocking out already, and Julie feels a few of the nerves in her stomach even out as the realization that she doesn’t have to sing sinks into her bones.  Allison was right, unsurprisingly.  If she focuses hard enough, she can even push out the memories of coming to these sorts of open nights with her mom.  Flynn shoots her a large and grateful grin and Julie lets herself smile back.  She’s taking a step.  She’s doing it.

Allison returns as the band switches and a new band begins to play a hyped up cover of “Africa” by Toto.  The three girls lapse into quiet appreciation of the music, with Flynn singing along to every song played, Allison bobbing her head to herself and occasionally letting out a few notes in her vocal range, and Julie just quietly appreciating the fact that she doesn’t feel like throwing up.

It’s all very casual, just like her friends said.

Until it’s not.

As the third band of the night begins their last song, Julie retreats to find the bathroom.  It’s hidden nearly backstage, and she’s just about to make it to the door when she hears the panicked shouts of someone from near the curtain which separates the small backstage from the actual performing area.

“Dude, I cannot believe he bailed on us.”

“Are you really surprised?  Bobby was a piece of shit.”

“Hey, he didn’t use to be!”

“Calm down, Reg.  You know he’s been treating us like garbage ever since that record label thought he had a ‘marketable voice’ or whatever they said.”

“Guys he bailed on us, what are we supposed to do?”

Julie, despite all the “stranger danger” lessons running through her brain, backed up far enough to see into the backstage area.  Three guys stood there, two with a guitar and a bass each and one with drumsticks he was nervously twirling.  The one with the guitar had his face buried in his hands and kept swearing heavily under his breath.  The other two seemed frozen in their own panic as well.  Guitar Player removed his hands from his face and Julie caught a glimpse of worried hazel eyes and dark curls.  Bass Player opened his arms and Guitar Player tumbled into them for a hug while Drum Player rubbed his back.  The three guys looked absolutely wrecked.

Here’s the thing: Julie had an uncontrollable urge to help people.  It’s how she got roped into half of Flynn���s schemes, how she ended up teaching Carlos all of his second grade science curriculum herself, and how she somehow became the unofficial backbone of her family after her mom died.  Seeing three guys utterly wrecked because, presumably, their fourth bandmate had bailed on them?  It activated that uncontrollable urge deep in her stomach.

Here’s another thing: Julie hasn’t played music or sang in six months.  She’s had no desire to, and every time she’s tried, the distinct urge to throw up overtook her.  Tonight was supposed to be the baby step that showed her whether or not music was something she could seriously consider again; whether or not she could feel that itch to perform anymore.

“Hey, do you guys need a fourth?”

She felt the itch.  

The three guys looked up in varying levels of shock.  Drum Player recovered first, and stepped towards her hesitantly, wringing his pink hoodie as he did.

“Um, what?”

“It sounded like someone bailed on you.  I can play.  If you need it.”  Guitar Player recovers next and nearly bounds over to her in barely contained excitement.

“You can play rhythm guitar?”

“No,” the three boys deflate, “I can play piano though.”  Guitar Player tilts his head to the side as though playing a melody through in his head.  He turns back to the other two.

“Bright could fit piano.”

“We never wrote the music for a piano component,” Drum Player wrinkles his nose.

“I did,” Guitar Player admits.  The other two don’t look phased, though Bass Player does raise an eyebrow.  “I was bored!”

“Okay, but we don’t want to put you out,” Drum Player turns back to Julie and she swallows.  

“No, I offered.  Let me see the music.”

“Okay, but you have like ten minutes!” Bass Player finally chips in with a surprisingly cheerful tone.  Guitar Player hands Julie what looks like a piece of notebook paper and her eyes skim the words and notes.  It’s feasible for sure, but she can feel the nerves prickling at her stomach.  Guitar Player leans into her space and she clocks how ridiculously attractive he is up close.  He gives her a smile.

“We alternative verses like this, see?  And I don’t know your range, but we can figure that out on the go.”  Julie gives him a small smile.

“Somewhere between mezzo-soprano and soprano.”

“We can work with that.” Guitar Player seems to vibrate with energy.  “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“No pressure,” Bass Player adds.

“Like seriously, none.  We can just go home and cry,” Drum Player says.  Julie isn’t sure.  She really isn’t.  In fact, she’s pretty sure she should just run away and hope she never sees these guys again.

“I’m sure.”

Well, that’s that.

Guitar Player sends her a smile that looks genuinely like someone has funnelled sunlight into his body and Julie feels the nerves lift for half a second.  Then, they’re called to the stage and all of a sudden she feels like she could puke all over again.  Guitar Player grabs her hand and squeezes it.

“You got this.”

Julie files out with the rest of the band and she’s extremely grateful her friends aren’t sitting in her direct line of sight.  The piano is definitely worn out from use, but her fingers settle naturally on the keys and Julie tries to focus on the budding itch to perform in her stomach rather than the urge to throw up.  She’s supposed to start this song.  This song that she became aware of ten minutes earlier.  She catches Guitar Player’s eye and he nods encouragingly.

She presses down on the keys and opens her mouth. 

Sometimes I think I'm falling down

I wanna cry, I'm calling out

For one more try to feel alive

And when I feel lost and alone

I know that I can make it home

Fight through the dark and find the spark

[elichorph]

ok hi i’m back with a second character ...

the member of the yale's elite, they're twenty three and a grad student majoring in film & media studies. they are as amicable as they are histrionic.

stats:

full name: gordon minjun teller nicknames: goose. gordon is for business only age: twenty three  birthday: june 13, 1997 chart: gemini sun / cancer moon / leo rising gender: cis male pronouns: he / him sexuality: bisexual & biromantic height: 6′1 hair color: blue (now blonde) tattoos: none piercings: nose stud (right side), earlobes (always have silver hoops in them)

PINTEREST BOARD 

blackmail:

while the public believes that goose’s family retired and moved to another country, this was actually released as a coverup because they went missing. goose withheld information from the court about their last whereabouts which could have prevented it from becoming a cold case.

he was expelled from high school after vandalizing a statue on campus and his uncle paid the school to go back on their decision.

he lost a third of his inheritance money to a cult he briefly followed in his sophomore year of college while looking for guidance.

backstory:

tw: implied death

right at birth, goose was adopted into the teller family who were pretty well known. his father was a young ceo of an oil company in texas. goose’s family eventually became public figures and tabloid favorites after a long riveting love story between his father and mother, who belonged to opposing business families. it really was a quick rise and fall to fame, starting when it was revealed goose’s adoptive mom, grace, couldn’t have kids, he was in her arms not even a month after and right out of them thirteen years later when she disappeared and the family really was never to be heard of again. 

but as the only adopted child into a family who had to keep their public image up, goose’s dreams of being a fun loving kid were crushed. really, it was strictly gordon - gordon on the tabloids, you’d see his baby face like aw thank god grace got to have a kid of her own <3 he was posted up at galas, listening to his dad speak about oil and shit every weekend and going back to his small private school every monday and it was just the same routine conditioning to keep the image of the teller family spotless and to hopefully get gOrDoN to become the next ceo.

that all kind of went to shit though when goose turned 14. his parents miraculously went missing (don’t ask me what happened i don’t even know) one night when he was tucked into bed. seriously, he woke up one morning and they were gone and suddenly there were police storming the house and he was being questioned and things weren’t routine or safe anymore. in order to still save face for the family though, news was quickly put out that the family went on a private vacation while the investigation went on privately. it was taken to court, people signed nda’s, and all little goose knew was that he his parents were going to a party that night and hadn’t told anybody else and he was too scared to tell anyone. at one point goose became the main suspect and he had to put his freshman year of high school on pause, but he was dismissed months after even though he hadn’t shared the detail that they went to a party. if he had shared it, they literally would’ve been found. eventually, there were no new leads, the case was declared cold, and an official statement was put out that the teller parents “retired” and “moved” to a different country that wouldn’t be disclosed and gOrDoN would be under the care of his uncle.

gordon was like mad though haha. even though he’d gotten his family’s entire inheritance as a fifteen year old and should’ve been happy that he was basically a millionaire, he wasn’t used to things not being in the same routine and actually having to make decisions for himself. newsflash, but goose can’t handle emotions really well and he got angry and well i don’t know if you’ve seen donnie darko where donnie literally put an axe through the statue’s head and spray painted “they made me do it” below the statue? but yeah, that. goose wasn’t slick though, got caught by security, and his uncle paid the school to let it slide and then sent goose to a boarding school in maruland.

he spent the last couple years of high school trying to figure out who he actually was outside of the tabloids and the teller name and image, and eventually got the hang of it by the time he enrolled at yale. he started going by goose instead of gordon, went into film instead of business like his family wanted him to and slowly started to blossom into the weirdo he is today <3 his dad was in the elites so he was able to secure a legacy spot and reluctantly said yes to joining. he was kinda quiet the first year, but now he’s all gungho to do charity events and make people happy and shit like that. 

his sophomore year though he kinda doubted the path he was on and his naive ass got roped up into a cult. anyways, he ended up trusting them a lot and donated 1/3 of his family’s inheritance to the cult and kinda blew it. goose was acting hella weird around this time though, i imagine people around him could kinda sense he wasn’t like alright for a few months. anyways someone ended up giving him an intervention about acting kinda whack and he realized and thankfully was able to leave the cult pretty unscathed. but he is deeply, deeply ashamed about his time in the cult though.

personality:

he is one gigantic deranged baby. like he is baby, but he’s also kind of crazy. if goose feels any normal emotion, it instantly bass boosts and he feels it in full. goose genuinely is so sensitive, he’ll physically flinch if you say something merely mean to him because he was used to growing up so perfect that he really can’t take criticism. however, he’ll do his best to patch things up by saying some incomprehensible joke right there and then. the only exception to this is the tabloids. goose has become so immune to them that he will straight up troll them back on twitter because he just doesn’t give two shits.

he’s incredibly kind. so so so kind (not really gentle though). the type to remember your favorite candy bar and hand one to you on a random tuesday. he’ll remember your name even if you’ve only met once and even if you didn’t give him your name, he’ll look it up somehow just so he knows next time. he loves to make jokes all the time. none of them ever make sense, but they’re funny to him and he won’t apologize for it. and he’s LOUD. you probably can hear his cackles and snorts and dramatic screams even when you’re on the other side of campus. he’s just a kid in a candy store excited to finally enjoy life, especially now that things have seemed to settle down. even though he’ll probably have a whole breakdown and a half the first time the blackmailer mentions his name.

yes, he actually believes he’s being haunted by jfk. goose had a string of dreams about him and witnessed some doors opening and closing on their own around the same time, and he quickly jumped to the conclusion and never thought twice about it. another strange belief that goose has? that he’s friends with a ton of a-listers. even though it’s mainly jessica alba, he won’t hesitate to tweet at extremely famous actors and thank them for getting lunch with him even if they’ve never spoke. multiple management companies have his twitter handle blacklisted. while he currently has blue hair, it’s always quick to change. for how much he dyes it, it’s surprising that it doesn’t feel like hay.  if goose feels a mental breakdown coming or simply is bored or needs attention, his hair color will do a straight 180. he hasn’t had a natural hair color since he enrolled at yale.

things that are very goose: beat up yellow high top converse, getting to know every person in existence, having memes plastered over his wall to make him smile after a long day, wearing fancy cologne to the grocery store because one cashier said he smelled good and he thinks it makes them happy to wear that, throwing a shoe across a crowd at a party, going to sulk in the bathroom or leave the party early when a song plays that brings up bad memories, keeping every movie stub, restaurant punch card, and lost button in a little scrapbook just because he wants to remember the good things in life, thinking the karate kid is the best movie to ever exist despite being five years into a film major.

wanted connections

since he doesn’t have any pre-established connections, here are some ones that could kinda be fun

someone who protects his naive ass <3

an ex or old one sided crush who hurt him so bad lmao. they really wouldn’t have to a lot to do that, but it would be juicy if they did

roommate? maybe? he lived in a really shitty apartment his first few years, maybe they convinced him to move out or moved in

or neighbors? like he will knock on their door 3 times a week with half burnt brownies to offer or because he doesn’t know where his tv remote is and needs help

someone who gave him the intervention about like “you’re acting weird are you okay” that indirectly got him to leave the cult and he feels like he’s forever indebted to them

someone who just despises goose and he doesn’t understand why and tries to make things better even though it just makes things worse

family friends? maybe? when he was in ct and his uncle didn’t let him come home with him during the holidays he would go to their house or something like that

gentle romance <3 maybe. Please

he’s their secret admirer and sends them gifts and flowers and writes them bad poems and recommends them shitty romance films

someone who takes advantage of how naive he is

anything <3 come 2 me or i will dm you or venmo you and force u to plot with me

[klassickdei]

pointless life updates #01 - far from home

hello.

welcome to the first episode of my pointless life updates.

I hope y'all doing okay just checking in on you... if you've been struggling this past few weeks, same with me bestie. me too. just hoping going to get better. it’s 11:39 am and I’ve spent most of today not really doing anything much so I decided to get my shit together and sit down to write an essay. I had my regular water ㅋㅋㅋ and also a home-made potato+소세지+sambel (just a random combination of things) for breakfast.

it’s been a month since I left my hometown, and started living in south sumatera. I remember for the past 2 years, I was sitting on a lot of “what will I do with my life once the pandemic is over?” thoughts. then early this year it comes the pandemic is almost over (hopefully) and the world is getting better. I was looking at the sky and thinking about I needed to be doing something. I can’t get stuck anymore. and trying to do something extremely new. everybody loves to tell me, that I was born an old soul... but there's so much that I don't know... better keep my eyes wide open. not every decision you make is going to put you over the top. and I think my decision to take this opportunity and come to palembang-indralaya, it’s going as great as it can be. there is still this feeling of being lost. I don’t know where I’m going to end up. I don't even know what's going on for dinner lmao. it does get lonely sometimes. but I got used to it. meeting new people and move on to different directions and then gotta meet people again. and then move on and gotta do it again. definitely, my introverted characteristic is feeling anger lol. I speak with my facial expressions more than I do with my words.

the past month has been rough. there was a bunch of stuff that I had to do but I couldn’t do it because I was sick. and there were people relying on me to get some stuff done that I couldn’t keep up with because I was feeling so overwhelmed. plus+ something bad happened in my home in my hometown. huh, I had a war, with my own self, my own mind. :(

BUT I had some memorable experiences...

aug 7, decided to go out, bought some furniture, and tried my first ever "ayam geprek" here. but turns out it's not the "ayam geprek" that I am familiar with. the chicken is ordinary fried chicken............ yea you know what I MEAN... and the most interesting thing is that they eat it with soup/? idk you name it... yea yea weird... :( but as long as there is a sambel.. 100% have no problem with it. I can eat it forever.

aug 9, started reading a new book! I have so many reading lists, but I have no time:( currently, I read a book by Japanese authors, Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, The Courage to be Happy: True Contentment Is Within Your Power (English edition), also, resume reading a manhwa named 이번 생도 잘 부탁해 by 이혜 (Lee Hey) 작가님.

aug 11, first-time faculty TOUR! my faculty color is kinda interesting, it's PURPLE! heheh. I found it cool because the building is literally in LIGHT purple. yea, not an ordinary purple. the tour is NOT fun. feeling exhausted and I am literally sweating A LOT. my bad for saying that the campus is BIG. no! the faculty itself is SO BIGGGGGG!

aug 13, went to some places with my faculty (of engineering) from my host university in Palembang (such as Jakabaring Sport City [venue of the 18th Asian Games Jakarta-Palembang 2018]; the uni Palembang campus; Ampera Bridge; LRT Station; and last but not least OPI Mall). saved my precious money because I had free lunch lol.

aug 17, the independence day of Indonesia, yeaa I had to wake up at 6 am. and get ready for the ceremony. but, not the formal one.

aug 18, I WANT "SATE AYAM". but end up didn't get one. :( + started watching a new Korean drama called "Adamas".

aug 24, submitted my first ever deadline of the semester, that the lecturer gave the assignment just right before the day! and bcs of my health, I decided to begin work on it d-day at 3 am. and I have extra feeling proud of the outcome.

aug 25, me and my friends tried to go to the mall in Palembang by ourselves. it's an uneasy and excruciating experience, but we tried to enjoy the process lol. and we decided to go to PI. we ate some japanese meals, bought groceries, etc. we go out at 9 am, it takes one and a half to reach Palembang, from our place(main campus), then we back at 2.30 pm, and set foot on our place at 4.15 pm. ofc feeling exhausted.

aug 28, originally I should attend a "lomba 17an" , but it was my 1st day of (a girl) period. sad. so I stayed in my room.

aug 31, submitted my second+third assignment of the semester (a different subject as before). actually, the lesson is a little bit the same as back in my freshman year, but because of that I NEEDED TO FIGURED IT OUT! lol.

sept 4, nothing much different, still struggling... with this and that.

I'll wrap it out with a quote from the book I currently reading "because the reality right in front of us never waits—it's moving constantly from moment to moment. you can't just sit back and do nothing!" –youth, preamble xiv

last but not least, I wanna recommend songs.. it’s... "call me a quitter" by New Hope Club, and (forever!!!) my favorite of all time "the call" by Regina Spektor.

that’s all for today. thanks for tuning in and don’t forget to drink your water.

until next time. 09.2022 from ra.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

Hi. This is sort of random and I don’t know if you do these kind of asks but I’m in the final year of my Bachelor’s degree and am thinking of applying for a Masters next year. I’m feeling a bit nervous and stressed out about it. I don’t know if I could handle the workload, I’m worried I won’t get accepted or if I do get accepted, I’m worried I might not be able to finish it. It’s a bit mysterious and honestly I don’t even know what it would be like. Could you tell me a bit more about your experience doing your Masters? We’re studying different things in different countries (I think, I’m in the UK), but I would like to know what the main differences are between doing a Bachelors and Masters, if it was hard to get used to or catch up with the teaching, whether professors treat you differently, what it was like writing your dissertation/research project (if you did that), etc. Does it take up all your time and leave you with no social life? I have depression, and some days it’s hard to even get out of bed. I barely scraped through my second year; my grades slipped with the lockdown worsening my mental health (I didn’t fail but you can see the dip in some of the modules) and I don’t know if I could cope with all the work next year (that is if I do get accepted). If you could answer some of these questions I would really appreciate it. Thank you 🥺🙏😭

The thing is that Master's programs vary a lot based on what the degree is actually in, and the university where it's being offered. My experience might not translate to yours, so keep that in mind. That said, I'll answer everything. I'm putting this under a cut because it got long:

So, I was in an accelerated program, meaning that I began to take graduate classes while I was in the spring semester of third year of my Bachelor's. I wasn't significantly more stressed once I took on those classes because I'd already taken the bulk of the requirements for my undergrad. I took one grad class per semester for two semesters in my Bachelor's, before I took two during my final semester of undergrad. Once I was fully in my grad program, I took 3 classes per semester. Honestly, I thought undergrad was more aggravating and stressful. I found that only three classes per semester were a lot easier to keep up with, despite the work being a little more intense, because I thought it was easier to stay on top of 3 syllabi as opposed to the ~5 I'd have during a typical undergrad semester. Besides, grad school couldn't compare to the trauma of my undergrad Japanese language class lmao. Those 4 semesters were brutal and everything seemed easy in comparison. My professors were pretty nice and a lot more chill than my Japanese professor lol, so they didn't really bother me. I was quiet in college, so my professors never had a problem with me. Since I went to the same place for my Master's as I did my Bachelor's, I didn't notice a significant change in my lifestyle as a student.

I do think there's more independent reading required in grad school, so you have to prepare for that. If you have a problem with deadlines, grad school will be tough; I'm just someone who never turned in anything late. Literally, I think I turned in fewer than 3 assignments late in my whole life because that's just how my brain is wired. If you're someone who can consistently turn in assignments on time, that's half the battle. If not, you'll struggle. But I found that there was less bullshit in grad school compared to undergrad. With my Bachelor's I had to take so many stupid electives I didn't give a shit about just because my university required like 30 non-major credits, and I was frustrated because I felt like my time was being wasted and I was stressing over syllabi for no real reason. In grad school, it's a lot more focused.

I didn't have a dissertation or thesis; I had a comprehensive exam at the end of my program. That sucked lol. It was a 10-question essay exam over the course of 5 hours. I was given access to the questions from previous exams and study guides from previous students, which were tremendously helpful, and I studied and answered practice questions almost every night for a month and a half straight. That was really tough. That was my only class/requirement, however, so I was able to dedicate all of my time to the exam. I passed, but if I'd put off studying, I definitely wouldn't have just because of how my specific exam was designed.

Now onto mental health stuff. I'll be real with you: I'm one of those people who benefited from the lockdown. I've always enjoyed working alone, so I didn't really miss classroom discussions and actually loved not having to commute to and from campus every day anymore. All of my classes were asynchronous and I felt my mental health improve because I was able to pace myself, my schedule, and have a lot more time for my hobbies. College was far worse for me in undergrad, and it honestly had some of the worst years of my life lol. I didn't make a single friend on campus until the end of year two, and I found being on campus with no friends incredibly depressing and isolating. Going into lockdown took that away, you know what I mean? You can't feel lonely if everyone is alone :'D Plus, since I'm such an independent worker, I wasn't hurt by everything going online since I was able to keep up with all of the material and deadlines pretty well. So, if your grades and mental health suffered during the pandemic, I completely understand, but that wasn't my situation. I enjoyed staying home. Since most of grad school was online during the pandemic, too, I can't say it took up all of my social life since I couldn't have a social life lmao. I was/am very strict with lockdown and social distancing, so it's not like grad school kept me from seeing my friends. But since there are typically fewer classes in grad school, anyway, you might find more time for your personal life. It really depends on the program and requirements.

tl;dr: you do need perseverance and the ability to meet deadlines in grad school. There's typically less margin for error (I think I couldn't get more than a couple B- in my program?), but it doesn't have to be terrifying. It's difficult to advise you since these things can vary so much, as I've said. But this is what college was like for me 🤷 I hope this helps in any way. If your depression is that debilitating, I do recommend going to whatever disability resource center is available at the university to get appropriate accommodations, if that's a thing over there. That can help a lot and there's no shame in it. My mom is a professor and receives letters informing her that students need accommodations on assignments and deadlines all the time.