#literally get so frustrated lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wally-two-shoes · 3 months ago

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I love wasp rick with all my heart but he’s so hard to draw. when i even attempt to draw him i feel like breaking down and crying. /hj

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #wasp rick #literally get so frustrated lol

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wonder-worker · 6 months ago

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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville #my post #Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power #It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not #I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard #There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions #And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it #Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century #You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not #Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist #(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess #She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual #contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios #and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE #despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England #This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments #of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York #(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT #that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless #I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent #ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me #just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...

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horsemeatluvr23 · 9 months ago

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i can't be bothered to edit this properly so here is a bad photo of my sketchbook <3 i didn't wanna draw a person today to give myself a 'break' so instead i spent an obscene amount of time drawing wels castle (ft hypno's fireworks hehe)

#hermitaday #i guess they're technically cub's fireworks just commissioned by hypno?#idk how i managed to spend like 4 hours on this... tbf a lot of that was not drawing it was staring off into the distance but #ngl i'm STRESSED about etho tomorrow because i know i will want it to be perfect but i am not a perfect man....#i'm getting frustrated at my own (lack of) skill for drawing people even tho i literally started learning this month lol #i need to focus on having fun w the process instead of putting pressure on myself to create something perfect #anyways...... why do i always chat so much shit in the tags #welsknight #welsknight fanart #traditional art #horsemeatluvr does hermitaday #horsemeat gallery #hermitcraft #i spent 8 hours in the library today i'm so. so eepy

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waltzing-rats · 3 months ago

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Man so i was outta town and yet the grind never stopped!! (Click for better quality)

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itspileofgoodthings · 2 months ago

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my seniors have been so quiet all year and it’s been fine cause we’ve had a lot of writing/research to do but I need them to talk to me now so i was hit by a bolt of inspiration two days ago and I made them all tell me their comfort level with sharing aloud, rating themselves on a scale of 1-10. I then averaged the class score and they’re a 4.5. I then told them yesterday we needed to raise the score the tiniest bit. And the 1’s and 2’s didn’t need to be 10’s just maybe 3’s and 4’s. And they tried! They talked more 😭

#it’s sooooo hard because when a class is quiet my default is to assume you hate me #which is so hard because I need a response. which is why I actually can handle a loud raucous class pretty well because it’s just about #holding their attention and redirecting #but when they’re quiet it’s so hard. but i’ve really forced myself to be like ‘they don’t hate you they’re just quiet’#and they ARE #and actually they are reading (not all of them lol) and a lot of them want to learn #it was really helpful going to try to capitalize on this today #I had a moment a few weeks ago where I taught them a poem and it was crickets and I was like sigh they hate it and me #but then I said wanna learn another one? and like—seven of them nodded at me with big eyes and quiet enthusiasm #and I was like okayyyyy there is something going on #it feels so different teaching them than any other class it’s been a real learning experience for me #also yesterday we were talking about Jane Fairfax and Emma hating her lolololol #and Emma being frustrated with Jane’s reserve and I teased them a little bit #I said you’re not cold but you ARE reserved and I am Emma trying to get you to tell me about Frank Churchill at Weymouth #literally lol #ALSO it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that this is the class where I need to tell them WHY I make them tell me all the plot details #and we go over it together #and the actual concrete purpose of it. cause it isn’t just book-clubbing it!#it has to do with guiding them through a novel but also teaching them how to do it themselves #I get so prickly when people think it’s just book club behavior #if I was in a book club i would be a tyrant which is why I belong in a classroom #ANYWAY I AM WASTING THE DAY AWAY #but i have woken up with great excitement because I’ve been mulling on the seniors all year #and I feel like I’m getting somewhere #teaching tag

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fromtheseventhhell · 1 year ago

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Do you ever think about how Arya being left-handed most likely had an impact on her needlework and other tasks? And how she needed special attention not only because she wasn't as naturally gifted as her sister but because the way she was being taught fundamentally didn't work for her? And how instead of being given the attention she needed she was instead held to an unfair standard by her teacher and used as a measure for bad behavior? And how this all impacted her self-esteem and her views on being a Lady?

#arya stark #septa mordane #catelyn stark #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #I think about this all the normal amount I'm definitely not obsessed with Arya and her internal conflict on being a lady #I'm not saying her being left-handed is the sole reason she was bad at those tasks but I do think it had an impact #that's why it gets pointed out by Syrio and how it will impact her swordplay...it has an impact on the way she does things #Arya not being able to fit in kills me because she genuinely tried to be the Lady that her family wanted #she was literally trying her best to do tasks that didn't come naturally and she was constantly told she wasn't good enough #if her family hadn't forced the issue and been so hard on her it would've been so much easier for her to do what was expected of her #it's just so fascinating and one of my favorite internal conflicts...I can't wait to see the resolution #so many people try and make Arya the problem but she was literally 9 years old #and her behavior in canon isn't the disruptive wild child people portray her to be she was doing her best that just wasn't enough for some #she was frustrated because her work wasn't as good as her sisters and her teacher mother and sister made sure she knew it #of course that's going to impact her views self-esteem and behavior #like no she was not a burden that her /poor/ mother and teacher suffered through lol

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megueggu · 10 months ago

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design piece of Jasper for Youso ✨

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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rebelrevolutionary · 2 years ago

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Are you the person who made antifa/anarchist modern AU Anders art like 5 years ago? Something about the way you used to draw noses seems familiar. If you are I just want you to know that those were my favorite pieces of Anders art. It was just so self indulgent for me and I'd kill to see them again :D

FGHNGFHHJFHFGHD YEAH IT WAS ME. i posted them on my main cause i didnt have this sideblog yet, but p soon afterwards i created this blog so thats why theyre not on here fghfhgfhg i was just a little baby DA fan back then 😭

you know what? ill just add them all here in this post for you, my fellow self-indulgent anarchist anders enjoyer

#dragon age #da2 #anders #my art #i still love this AU soooo much i need to draw more of it Right Now #it came from me having gotten into DA and specifically DA2 right when i was getting more politically aware #i was reading karl marx and angela davis. making/reading zines and going to protests #when anders blew up that church yall know i fell in Luv like... hes literally my fantasy self and also my fantasy bf all in one #politics are SO frustrating bc youre just educating yourself and trying to do something but instead ur watching the world go to shit #but then anders decides to make a statement and blows up a building and it Actually Fixes Stuff 😭😭😭😭😭#my biggest power fantasy forreal. also i gave anders the same exact rainbow patch i have on my jacket lol

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bandsandwristbands · 3 months ago

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Vent post

#ignore me lol #vent post #I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated #like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it #“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters #idk I want to give up #the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away #I hate living #I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore #im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time #except for like five very specific moots on here #but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh #idk i'm tired #I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate #and then I get fuckall in return #post election blues ig #here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge #I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent #selfish #wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine #it doesn't help or mean anything #things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around #I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things #im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return

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hadrianblackwaters · 3 months ago

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!! DRUMINDOR SPOILERS IN TEXT AND TAGS !!

Listening to Drumnidor as a Hadrian girlie is not easy. My god they're assassinating his entire character and taking away his life purpose right in front of us! They're reducing him to a stupid comic relief character with no depth and no real influence on the people around him (to a greater degree than they ever did before) and they're taking away all his greatest achievements and attributing them to someone else to fit the plot! His main character status has been revoked and he's now apparently merely a supporting character in someone else's story. Please, everyone, a moment of silence for my blorbo 😔🙏 Rest in peace mr. Blackwater. At least they let you pull some impressive-arse sword moves, you looked really cool... but I am so sorry they did not let you be a practising hoe in this one 🥀

#riyria #drumindor spoilers #sorry everyone i am about five and a half hours into the audiobook and i just reached a conversation between hadrian and arcadius #and i want to fucking jump out a window #why is mjs doing hadrian like this???? what's even his fucking point in the story if it's gonna be like this????#literally and what is hadrian? chopped liver etc etc!!!!!#someone who is also reading the book please talk to me or help me see how i am misinterpreting this #i just want hadrian to be taken seriously and be valued and i want him to actually achieve something that is not just helping royce on his #journey to becoming a better person but yeah i guess he can't even have that - the one thing they kind of let him have in the other books #i am literally becoming a worse person as i listen lol #And listening to Drumindor as a Hadrian/Royce shipper is even harder!#lol #I'm sorry everyone #I can't even make any jokes about this point you'll just have to read the book yourself and find out.#i want to adopt hadrian out of that story my god i swear there is someone who cares about you and values you #crossing my fingers that the remaining 14 hours of this book is different 🤪🤡#(at least gwen is nice to hadrian and i love that we get to see them bond/see more of their friendship #it's so jarring though bc she actually treats him as an adult #and not as an idiot)#like am i losing my mind???#was it always like this????#was it different because there were other characters around to interact with???#i want to cry because i am so frustrated lol #as i reread my tags i must say it could also be that i am projecting my struggles onto him LOL #because my life is really bad rn in a suspiciously similar manner ...#either i'm a hadrian fan bc he's just like me fr or oh god i'm literally just misinterpreting everything and its not that deep #but i want him to also get the opportunity to be that deep :( ok enough tags now sorry everyone so sorry everyone #fellow hadrian fans what do we think #enter the hivemind (the replies to this post or my inbox/messages) and let me know #and royce fans what do you think about royce in this book?

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thebigqueer · 3 months ago

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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)

#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired #second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me #cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels #third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night #so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends #at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there #so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant #this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears #and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved #you' and oh my god it ruined my morning #i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed #and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me #which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out #so thats probably why that hapepned #and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course #the day i least want to see her shes right there #i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling #i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee #the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3 #also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol #sunny rambles

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lilworms · 3 months ago

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so

#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like #in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive #and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful #but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t #do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues #bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like #do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s #challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I #genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having #to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like #I’m spent before I even get there #friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life #I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night #I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me #idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed #I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap #but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh #idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that #I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol

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blujayonthewing · 4 months ago

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being perceived as stupid by people who are as smart or smarter than me sucks because it genuinely sucks to feel stupid, but being perceived as stupid by people who are, at least in some ways, dumber than me makes me insane

#bonus venn diagram overlap: my ex who was As Smart As Or Smarter Than me depending on the topic--#but 100% of the times he clearly thought I was stupid HE was completely objectively incorrect and being stupid about it #MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T THINK I'M AN IDIOT YOU'D LISTEN TO ME SOMETIMES AND WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT.#he also was really good at that thing that happens sometimes where you say something the other person Doesn't Get #and the specific way they don't get it is that they think YOU clearly just said something dumb #you see this one a lot on tumblr #.... I wasn't even thinking about my ex At All when I started this post lmao #but it's also a little easier to complain about this behavior in 'literally has a phd in natural science now' ex bf without feeling mean #than it is to get too specific about the kinds of people who treat me like a big cute dumb potato. lol.#it's a little frustrating having conversations with you sometimes anyway because you miss the point and lose the thread so much #and then YOU infantalize ME??? agsjfkdjsks #about me

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pepperpixel · 5 months ago

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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao

#pepper words #it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge #until it starts to die #I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly #it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines #and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out #u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get #I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork #into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird #i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose #conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines #and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch #and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess #forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg #sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em #but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno #all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol

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dallonwrites · 1 year ago

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actually making my tags from my last post into their own post. writers who struggle with grammar, spelling, typos, errors etc i love you. writers who struggle with rereading their stuff thoroughly no matter how much they try, who don't always have access to other people to help them read i love you. whilst reading through and checking for these things is good practice i really believe that the weight of it should not be put wholly on the writer's shoulders. especially writers who are neurodivergent, disabled, have any condition that can impede their reading + comprehension, are overworked and overtired, are not writing in their native language, list goes on....because grammar mistakes/language mistakes/typos have nothing to do with your abilities as a creative. this is where editors should be uplifting writers, helping them, not scrutinising them for something they cannot always control

#and in case anyone is going to say it...like i said in my tags i get that it can be frustrating #if it feels like a piece has NOT been reread or checked for these things at all #but even then its like...do you know the writers context? their background?#does the story itself still hold up strong creatively?#im just saying some leniency and grace goes far and esp in the short story/litmag scene i think #an editor who is considerate and inclusive should not use those things against a piece's worth #for me its like....1) the word spelling and grammar check is really confusing to work with sometimes #and also just. straight up does not work sometimes #and 2) no matter how much i reread and check for spelling and grammar i will forget a word. i will misuse a word. i will forget things #a bitch is forgetful! a bitch struggles with rereading their pieces and i do what i can to help that #but i need help and grace from the editors who wish to work with me!#i remember one time i wrote vacancy as vanacy in an excerpt in a writing update #literally passed me by and i was so humiliated?? nobody even pointed it out #but i assumed people were going to think of me less that i would make a simple mistake #its just...v hard and daunting being open with your writing sometimes lol lets all be kind to each other

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