#literally everything about every pokemon in every gen from the top of my head like it's nothing and you also don't need to know that I'M a-

[siryyeet]

My favourite thing about smants videos is that he always talks about himself like he's just some guy that is placed into this totally unfair competition against all these masterminds and then you watch him be the mastermind everyone else should be afraid of

[1863-project]

Emmet from Pokemon Gen V is Autistic, Fight Me

I wrote this as a thread on Twitter the other day, but I keep thinking about it and I feel the need to put it here, too.

So when you’re on the Battle Subway in Unova, you’ll eventually run into the weird Muppet twins who run the MTA if your win streak is long enough. If you’re doing double battles, you’ll fight the younger twin, Emmet. When you meet him, he’s clearly scripting, but he also infodumps about himself:

If he’s doing a multi battle with his brother Ingo, he’ll actually go through the safety rules for the MTA, just stopping short of that characteristic “Please stand behind the yellow line” and “Stand clear of the closing doors, please!” that every New Yorker knows by heart:

“Follow the rules. Safe driving! Follow the schedule. Everybody smile! Check safety. Everything’s ready! Aim for victory! All aboard!”

Like, if I asked him he’d likely be able to recite all the MTA rules off the top of his head verbatim. (P.S. You’re not allowed to cook on the PATH train. There’s literally a rule about it.)

Emmet’s dialogue is very characteristic of scripting, which is a common strategy for autistic people when we’re interacting with people we don’t know - we’ll plan out a script and use it whenever we’re in that situation. (My common example is when I’m in a store: I’ll blurt out “JUST LOOKING, THANKS!” awkwardly as soon as a store employee asks me anything.) That said, you can also tell he’s barely containing his excitement underneath that script. Autistic folks are notably enthusiastic about the things we love to the point that it seems to overwhelm non-autistic people, and we have trouble keeping that enthusiasm dialed down a lot of the time.

It’s more obvious in the manga: he’s so over the top excited about battling that he actually weirds White out with it multiple times and has to be dragged away by Ingo, and then he does this:

This is not something a neurotypical person does, I’m sorry. Plus he’s doing that big arm-swinging walk, which is actually something I do a lot! It actually feels nice and stimmy, and it’s also just a lot of fun to do if you’re wearing a giant coat anyway.

Here he is weirding someone out with it and being restrained by his brother:

But he’s completely blissfully unaware that people think he’s weird. He doesn’t seem to care. He just keeps going about like this and he’s fine with it.

So, to recap: he infodumps, scripts, clearly lacks social graces and has no filter, is extremely excited about the things he’s passionate about to the point that it scares people...yeah, Emmet’s one of us. Fight me.

(Also, as an autistic person myself I can make the obvious point here: he works with trains. That’s kind of our stereotypical thing, and there’s a lot of reasons why so many of us do like them, but that’s its own discussion and a lot of other autistic people have blogged about it so I won’t go into it here.)

[aitarose]

HAIKYUU PLAYING POKEMON

tetsuro kuroo, nishinoya yuu, miya atsumu, tsukishima kei, kozume kenma

notes: lina made me do it. that’s all. my knowledge of this game is too strong, TOO STRONG. i have an addiction, pls send help. i literally gave all of them teams and everything THIS IS TOO MUCH—I LITERALLY ONLY MADE THIS BC I DON’T FEEL LIKE WRITING

TETSURO KUROO would be the type of player to exclusively use one type. this man would be obsessed obsessed with fire types. he’d see the color red and think ‘oh look, it’s red! that means it must be the best!’—sweetie no, it’s just fucking red. he’d be one of those charizard fanatics, if you ever EVER insult charizard in front of him, well he’s ready to fight. exp-share would 100% be turned off during his gameplays, he’d think he could train them all by himself and win the game, when in reality that handicap was made for players exactly like him. and groudon? he’d be like ‘RED’ and then fail to realize that it is not in fact a fire type, but a ground type...que triste. 

↳ his completely unbalanced and awful team

NISHINOYA YUU would have more of the correct idea on how to play the game, but would be a sucker for the small but deadly kind of pokemon. i just have this feeling that he’d be a sucker for electric types, probably because he’d be an electric type in game. there’s something about the rat looking ones that just make me think ‘noya’, and i can’t get over it. despite the weird ass look of his team, he’d still manage to bag lugia and rain hell fire at the end of a battle, just whipping out his legendary and beating everyones asses in the very last minute. all in all, noya would be a slightly above average player with major overconfidence that would ultimately be his demise.

↳ his fairly good team, not totally balanced but all around fine

MIYA ATSUMU would be the guy that’d go straight for power and flashiness over actual strategy, yet somehow still end up with a baller team that’d win him the league. this man gives off such blaziken energy it’s painful, and you just KNOW that he’d make sure he had the mega evolution. fighting types would be his weakness because he thinks their the manliest type (even though they literally suck), and would love the edgy looking ones—plus pancham since he can’t resist that little face. zapdos is the only legendary suitable for this man, the speed, the design, the bright yellow hair color (pls they both need toner), perfection. in the end, a fairly good player (by luck).

↳ his 'baller’ team that the ‘boys’ can’t relate to

TSUKISHIMA KEI would be a dragon type bitch. he’d immediately go for the pokemon that look like dinosaurs and absolutely no one can deny that, because we all know it’s true. right off the bat, he’d choose sceptile as a starter and move on from there, catching each and every pokemon that looks prehistoric—and in the end, he’d have an extremely well balanced team (i mean he’s tsukishima kei, did you expect him to have anything other than perfection?). plus, he’d be that asshole that’d know every type weakness at the top of his head and use it to his advantage through memory cards in silvally. like i’d hate this man with all my guts, he’d be so annoying.

↳ his actually insane team that’d completely wipe out newbies

KOZUME KENMA would completely wreck all of these guys. he would end their hopes and dreams of becoming the best pokemon trainer there ever was, and wouldn’t even feel bad about it. he’d be the type of player to completely abandon their starter at the beginning of the game, and stick with some sort of eeveelution and dominate with it. he’d also be that dude that’d only use gen one pokemon since they’re ‘statistically the best’, shut up no they’re not. he’d prefer the classics over the flashy new ones, and become so familiar with their moves and weaknesses that he’d just be op. literally one of the best players ever—no ands, ifs, or buts.

↳ his genuinely well balanced and thought out team, i’d cry if i was against him

© aitarose.tumblr 2021. do not copy or claim my writing, works, themes, or headers as your own

[apharine]

Evolution Day

Pairing:  None - Gen Urshifu & Reader

Fandom: Pokemon

Rating:  T

Read on AO3

My writing commission info

Summary:   You've taken on one of the Towers of Two Fists, defeated Master Mustard, and evolved your Kubfu at the Scroll. But going from being a two foot tall teddy bear to a big Urshifu in a matter of moments is quite the adjustment, and Urshifu finds himself struggling with his new size and strength. It's up to you as his Trainer to help him adjust - and to reassure him that everything is going to be okay.

Notes:   Welp I bought the DLC not really 100% sold on Kubfu at first but man, let me tell you, after beating the Dojo story line that little teddy bear and Urshifu are now literally my favorite Pokemon! Move over, Mareep, a tiny bear has stolen my heart.  I'm supposed to be writing a whole lot of other things, but why be responsible when you can write fluff about your favorite Pokemon, right? Anyway I love the fact that we can let our Pokemon out of their balls on the Isle of Armor but after seeing my Urshifu stand by me, and thinking about how tiny Kubfu had been, I knew I had to write something about it. So here we are!

                                           _____________________

You had expected Kubfu to get bigger when he evolved - most Pokemon do, after all. But you hadn’t imagined that he would go from a two foot tall teddy to a six or seven foot tall beast of a bear.

“Urshifu?” He asks, glancing down at his own big paws, then his large body. As if bewildered, he then looks over to you and Mustard, and starts when he realizes he’s towering over you.

“Look at you, buddy!” You grin, moving towards your newly-evolved Pokemon. When he sees your enthusiasm, his expression changes from tentative to excited, too. “You got big and strong!” You pull him into a hug, and can’t help but feel a little surprised yourself when you find your head only comes up to his chest.

“Urshi!” He exclaims back, embracing you in return. He hugs you with as much enthusiasm as he can muster, the same way he used to when he was a Kubfu - except now, he’s got muscles as big as your head, and you can’t breathe. In fact, you think he might just crack your ribs, he’s squeezing you so tightly.

“Oh - Urshifu - too tight,” you manage to gasp, trying to squirm out of his grasp. He realizes what’s happening and lets go of you suddenly, making a concerned rumble as he holds his paws together nervously. “I’m okay, buddy. I just couldn’t breathe,” you laugh. But Urshifu drops his head sadly, sitting back on his haunches, making a sorry cooing sound. “Hey, c’mon now,” you say, approaching the big bear, who is increasingly huddling in on himself. He’s always been sensitive and shy - you’d learned that about him the first time Dojo Master Mustard had introduced you to him, and it’s honestly one of the things you’ve grown to love most about your newest partner Pokemon. “Hey, buddy, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” you coo at him gently. “You’re not used to your new strength yet, is all. I’m okay.” You set your hand on Urshifu’s big shoulder, and he looks up at you, making a tentative sound. You smile at him; you know the last thing he’d ever want is to hurt you. “I’d love another hug, you know. Just…a little gentler.”

Urshifu unfolds himself from the ball he’s huddled into, standing up most of the way, though he stoops down to meet you this time. When you embrace him, you’re able to put your chin on his shoulder, and he folds his arms around you carefully.

“Fu?” He asks nervously.

“That’s much better,” you affirm, reaching up and ruffling the fur on the top of his head as you pull away, just as you had when he was a Kubfu. He squeals a little and, like always, smooths down the mussed fur with his paws, so much bigger now than they had been. You smile playfully up at him; so much about him has changed, you think, yet so much has stayed the same.

“C’mon, buddy,” you say, reaching your hand up to him. When he had been a Kubfu, you’d had to stoop a little to walk hand in paw with him - but it’s apparent that that won’t be a problem anymore. “Let’s get back to the dojo, okay?”

“Urshifu!” He agrees with a nod, folding his big paw carefully around your hand.

                                          _____________________

To say that your fellow students at the dojo were impressed would be an understatement.

“Wow! He’s evolved into an Urshifu!”

“He looks really tough now!”

“He’s so much bigger!”

He’s bigger, yes, but he’s still your shy little teddy bear in a lot of ways, you think to yourself as you set a hand on one of his paws. He’s holding onto your shoulders tightly from behind, stooping to hide behind you - all the attention really isn’t his thing.

It never has been.

“It’s okay, buddy, they’re just all excited for you,” you tell him, giving one of his paws a squeeze. He makes an uncomfortable grumbling sound, and you know that even though your dojo family has the best of intentions, he’s not going to relax until the hubbub dies down.

And then you get an idea. There is one thing that will help him feel more comfortable around everyone, and satisfy the dojo family’s curiosity about your newly-evolved partner.

“I’m really proud of Urshifu,” you tell your dojo family, still squeezing his paw reassuringly. “He’s trained really hard to get to where he is today. I can’t wait to see some of his new moves!” You smile at him over your shoulder, and Urshifu’s ears flick forward, suddenly interested.

If there’s one thing he’d never been able to resist, it had been fighting and training and showing off his moves. It’s all in his blood, after all.

“Yeah, I bet his moves are amazing!” Someone calls.

“I can’t wait to see them, either!” Another student adds.

“What do you think, little bear?” You ask him, still smiling fondly over your shoulder. You’d called him little bear when he had been a Kubfu - and though you’re tempted now to change it to big bear, which would be more accurate, in most ways, he’s still proving to be the same little bear you knew. “You think you can show us some of your moves?”

Urshifu draws himself up to his full height finally and nods. A cheer goes up around the dojo as Urshifu walks into the middle of the floor. He stretches his arms across his body, then touches his toes quickly to limber up, and finally begins to move. The first time you’d met him as a Kubfu, he had hopped out of Mustard’s Pokeball, showing off with some dazzling strikes, rapid punches, and a tremendous kick onto one of the padded posts in the dojo. This time, he’s a little more refined. You both had spent hours of every day learning and practicing various wushu forms over the past few months, and he begins executing one of his favorites now, his movements confident, graceful yet powerful, quick yet strong.

He’d been pretty tough as a Kubfu, but now, standing close to one of his punches, you realize that he’s downright formidable now. His big fist flies past you, and you feel the swoosh of air from the strike. He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, pausing for just a moment, and you smile and nod encouragingly up at him. His lips twitch upwards just a little, and he turns to continue the form, moving away from you this time.

Then, just as abruptly, he reverses direction yet again, executing the part of the form that requires a flying kick. The floorboards shudder a little under the force of his steps as he prepares to launch himself - and then, as is customary in the dojo, he leaps into the air and lands the flying kick on one of the big padded posts.

But when Urshifu’s big paw makes contact with the post, it splits in two with a tremendous crack.

Urshifu lands near the post, the floorboards again shuddering under his weight, and his paws fly to his face, covering his eyes as he backs away.

“Urshifu!” You cry, rushing forward to him, your only thought that you had to keep him safe in case anything - the ceiling, the stories above - caved in. He’s peering out of his fingers as he looks for you, and you grab him by one thick-furred forearm, intent on dragging him away from the broken post.

There’s a general cacophony of confusion and alarm among the students, which isn’t doing much to help Urshifu’s anxiety - he almost seems rooted to the spot.

“C’mon, buddy,” you insist, tugging on him harder. This seems to get him moving, and he finally runs away, joining the other students by the entrance of the dojo, everyone pushing to get out.

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Mustard’s voice is calling from inside. He lets out a hearty laugh, and everyone finally turns around. “The padded posts aren’t loadbearing. If you all think Urshifu is the first one to have broken a post like that, you didn’t see me in my younger years!” He laughs again, and a collective sigh emanates from the group. Urshifu finally relaxes, dropping his other hand, though he hangs his head in shame.

“Hey, little bear,” you coo to him, running one hand up to his shoulder. The students all move away from the entrance, instead congregating around the split post and taking pictures of it. You’re sure your Pokegram feed will be filled with various images of the thick split wood tonight.

Urshifu makes a grumbling noise of dissent at the nickname, and you laugh, standing on your tiptoes and looping both your arms around his neck instead.

“I know you’re not really a little bear anymore,” you murmur to him in response, stroking the fur under your hands. “But you’re always gonna be my little bear, no matter how big or strong you are.”

Urshifu is silent for a moment, then lets out a deep breath and wraps his arms very gently around you.

“Thank you for being careful with me,” you tell him.

“Fu,” he mumbles in response.

“You’re getting the hang of things. And that kick was brilliant, by the way. You just didn’t have any way to know how strong you really are. But…we better go apologize to Master Mustard,” you add, drawing away from Urshifu. He nods and approaches Mustard first, sinking to his knees and kowtowing, grumbling his apologies. You kowtow by Urshifu’s side, and add your two cents.

“He’d never do something like that on purpose, Master Mustard,” you explain. “He’s such a good bear. He just has no idea of his strength yet. You know how it can be when a Pokemon evolves.”

“I do know,” Mustard laughs. “And I accept your apology, Urshifu. It’s a good thing you’re big and strong, now, though! With all your strength, you’ll be the perfect choice to help me replace that post with a new one sometime,” he says, and when you sit up from your kowtow, there’s a sparkle in his eye. Urshifu sits up, too, and nods his willingness to help. “In the meanwhile, we better sweep up some of this mess. Urshifu, why don’t you take your Trainer outside and practice sparring? It’ll be good for you to get a little more energy out, and in the meanwhile, I’d like to talk to the rest of the students about the meaning of strength - including hidden strength.”

Urshifu nods again, then stands and bows, one hand over his fist. You do the same, and Master Mustard bows back before trailing off to the students, who are now posing with the post.

“Urshi?” He asks, reaching one big, yellow paw out to you.

“If Master Mustard thinks it’s a good idea, let’s go,” you affirm, taking his paw and allowing him to guide you through the back doors of the dojo.

                                          _____________________

If you said you weren’t a little nervous to be squaring off against Urshifu, you’d be lying. But you’d fought him countless times as a Kubfu - always holding back, neither of you ever hitting at full force, just practicing the movements and how it felt to react and block and duck or strike in real time. You know how valuable the art of sparring is to improving one’s training - and you have to trust Urshifu sooner or later in order to continue to advance your training together. It might as well be sooner, you figure.

“Ready?” You ask Urshifu. He nods and grunts. “Okay. Take it easy on me,” you remind him with a playful smile. Urshifu nods again.

“Fuu,” he adds. It’s clear to you what he means - of course.

You start off slow, moving in for Urshifu with a very straightforward open-palm strike. He parries it at half speed, his forearm thick and solid against yours. It feels weird to be fighting him on your own two feet - when he had been only two feet tall, you’d had to fight him on your knees to make it manageable for him.

Urshifu moves in with the next strike, again moving slowly and carefully, and you duck out of the way and change your position, gearing up for a kick.

The two of you fall into a slow but steady rhythm of strikes, parries, dodges, and kicks, moving a little more quickly as you each adapt to the other. When you finally sneak through Urshifu’s defenses enough to land a punch on his chin, you hold back, only making the lightest of contact and freezing. He freezes, too, aware that the sparring match was over - you’d landed the first head strike.

“Nice work,” you tell him fondly, opening your hand and instead giving him a gentle chin rub. He was always ticklish there as a Kubfu, and you’re happy to see he still is, his chin tucking down and his shoulders coming up as he lets out a deep rumbling noise akin to laughter.

“Urshi, urshi,” he insists, stepping back out of reach of you.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” you relent, laughing almost as much as he is. You make the hand over fist pose and bow to him to conclude the match, and he does the same back to you. “That was a good match. Do you want to try again, just a little faster this time?”

Urshifu nods eagerly, settling into a deeper stance and raising his hands.

“Okay, little bear, let’s do this!” You grin, and move in again with the first strike. This time, you allow your movements to be a bit quicker - but still not at full force or speed. Again, you find it easy to fall into a steady pace with Urshifu, the rhythm of your movements almost soothing to follow. Urshifu’s growing increasingly comfortable with himself, striking just a little faster and a little stronger each time.

And then his big fist clocks you unexpectedly in the chin, whipping your head sideways. You don’t know how you didn’t block it, but you didn’t, and the force is actually enough to send you twisting and reeling to the floor. You land on your hands and knees, a throbbing pain shooting through your jaw and neck and the scraped skin in contact with the ground. For a moment, the world goes fuzzy and dark, and you wonder if you’ve been struck so hard, you’re going to pass out. Tears jump to your eyes, and the world swims for a moment, but you manage not to faint.

You’re vaguely aware of some low, moaning wails behind you, and the sensation of a gentle touch at your back. The world begins to come into focus again, and as it does, the pain in your jaw sears back again more fiercely than ever. As much as you don’t want to, you let out a quiet sob, immediately settling back on your heels and freeing your hands to wipe away your tears.

“Uuuurrrr,” Urshifu wails, his paws cradling your shoulders gently.

“I’m okay,” you sniffle, but Urshifu can see very clearly that you aren’t, and he wails again, distraught. He’d never hurt you before, and you know how much he loves you… “I’m okay, little bear,” you insist, wiping your tears away again and then turning to face him. You wrap your arms around his neck and he immediately gathers you up in his arms, pulling you close to his large body.

Urshifu wails again - he’s crying, too, you realize, as some of his hot tears roll onto your skin. Ironically, this only makes you cry all the harder, and your tears roll down your face, falling into his thick black fur.

He stands with you in his arms, holding you carefully, like you’re made of glass, and begins to lumber his way into the dojo. He lets out another wail as he slides the shoji doors open and steps into the building. Though you can’t see because of how you’re positioned, you’re sure he’s attracted quite a lot of attention based on the noises he’s making alone.

“Oh, dear, oh, dear,” a soft female voice is saying - Honey, you realize. “Give her here, give here here, that’s a good Pokemon,” she croons as Urshifu passes you off to her. Her arms are surprisingly strong as she balances you in her lap. “What happened?”

She asks Urshifu. He grunts and groans through his sobs, sitting down beside you, cross-legged as he explains.

“I’m really okay,” you assure Honey, wishing your voice sounded a little more steady. “It was a good hit, but it just took me by surprise more than anything.”

“Well, at least she’s making sense when she talks,” Honey says, smiling at you and Urshifu. “I’ve seen some students take hits that left them fuzzy for a couple hours!” Your eyes widen at this; you’re sure that can’t be good. You wipe away the last of your tears, realizing that many heads are turned to you, though Mustard is continuing to talk with his students as if nothing has happened, likely intent on keeping them from adding to the spectacle. “Urshifu, could you go get her some ice from the kitchen? That’s a dear,” she encourages him as he stands and rushes off.

“I feel so bad for him,” you sigh, rubbing the spot on your jaw where his big fist had made contact. “He’s having an awful day, and it’s the day he evolved. It should be a great day for him.”

“Evolving is so often such a difficult thing,” Honey sighs. “It’s a whole new phase of training, with new challenges and difficulties. But as long as he has you, I’m sure he’ll get through this and figure out how to control his strength in the future.”

“He will,” you agree. It’s just a matter of time. “He’s going to be amazing in battles when he can really go full blast, though.”

Urshifu returns, making a small grunt as he tries to hand Honey the ice. But she shakes her head, shifting you off her lap and back to him.

“Oh, no, no,” she tuts. “I’ll need you to take her back. I have to go get dinner started for everyone, and she’ll appreciate you taking care of her more than anything.”

Urshifu makes a whining sound, and you smile at him, reaching back out to him.

“Don’t be silly, of course I will,” you insist. He takes a steadying breath, but finally gives you a tiny nod and sits down, pulling you into his lap. His thigh is thick and well-muscled beneath you, his body warm and soft as he maneuvers you tenderly to rest against his chest. He holds the ice against your jaw carefully, and you smile, pressing your hand over his paw.

“I can hold that there, if you’d like,” you offer. Urshifu shakes his head, though, grumbling something very quietly.

As well as you know him, you’re not entirely sure what he’s saying - though you think it’s something along the lines of I did this to you, so please let me take care of you. But you’re not certain, so instead you relax against him, letting him continue to help you as best as he can.

“Here, this will help,” Honey says, suddenly reappearing. She hands Urshifu what looks like some sort of potion cream, uncapping it for him and spreading some on one of his outstretched fingers. “Just put that over the sore spot, and she’ll feel better quickly. We use this stuff all the time when there’s contact injuries in the dojo.” She moves back to the kitchen, and Urshifu pulls the ice away, gently spreading the cream over the side of your jaw where the ice had been and breathing the quietest little sigh as he goes.

“It’s really okay, my little bear,” you insist. He holds you just a little tighter, and the pain in your jaw begins to quickly fade away. “I’m feeling better already,” you tell him, but he looks at you with such sad eyes, you almost want to cry again.

                                          _____________________

“Dinner’s ready!” Honey calls, and with that, you and Urshifu stand, joining the crowd of students filing into the dining area. Urshifu puts the ice away in the freezer as he moves past it, and you wait for him, the pain in your jaw entirely gone at this point. The potion cream really had worked wonders.

You move to go take a seat at your usual spot at the table, and Urshifu walks up beside you, one of his hands setting down onto your lap.

When he had been a Kubfu, he’d always climbed into your lap and had dinner there. Muscle memory must have taken over, and he’d put his big paw on your thighs as if he was going to scoot onto you like old times.

But it’s clear that he’s much too big for that now.

“Ur,” he says, snatching his paw away.

“Here,” you say, standing and grabbing the chair next to you, which is still, mercifully, empty right now. You pull it a little closer to you. “I think it’s safe to say that you get your own seat now, Urshifu.” He nods as he sits, his sheer breadth somehow making the chair look really rather small underneath him, although it’s the same size as yours.

You wolf down your food, as does everyone else - with Urshifu being no exception as he chows down. But the food goes fast, and he hasn’t even had the chance to get a second bowl before all the servings of the main meal are gone entirely.

A single bowl would have more than filled him up when he was little. But now he must still be starving.

Urshifu’s ears flatten against his head, and his shoulders slump just the slightest bit, though he doesn’t complain, just helps gather his and your empty bowls together to be washed.

“Hey,” you murmur, touching your hand to his forearm. “You must still be hungry.”

He shrugs, not meeting your gaze.

“Ordinarily I’d say let’s stay and help everyone wash up, but there’s more than enough hands taking care of that,” you tell him, casting your gaze over to the sink. “Why don’t we grab our camping gear and get out of here? Just you and me. We can cook up some more curry over a campfire. What do you say?”

Urshifu’s ears slowly drift forward, and he turns to look at you tentatively. Then he nods.

If there’s one thing that should feel safe - that you think will bring back a sense of normalcy to Urshifu’s day - it’s camping. You two had camped out together most days of the week for the past few months, after all.

“Great,” you grin, standing up and pushing your chair back. “Last one to grab the camping stuff is a rotten egg!”

Urshifu stands, too, making a playful noise and chasing after you.

                                          _____________________

One unexpected benefit of Urshifu’s size is that he’s more than happy to carry your camping pack.

“You’re sure you don’t mind?” You ask him. But he shakes his head, making a happy grunt. “Well, thank you, then,” you smile. You’re sure that after everything that’s happened since evolving today, he’s glad to be able to put his newfound size to good use for a change. “In that case, I think we have everything. Let’s go!” You exclaim, punching the air just like he so often did as a Kubfu.

“Rrrr,” he trills, mimicking you and punching the air, too. Except he doesn’t just hit the air - he’s so tall, his reach so high, that he actually hits the eaves of the dojo, his fist cracking a piece of wood. “Urk,” he grunts, pulling his hand down and looking up at the slight damage he’d caused.

“Uh,” you stammer for a moment, then grab one of his paws. “We just won’t tell Master Mustard about that. C’mon,” you laugh, tugging Urshifu along.

The two of you set off at a comfortable pace, though you notice Urshifu is taking smaller steps, controlling his movement. Where you used to have to slow your pace for your little Kubfu, now it’s Urshifu obviously slowing his pace for you.

“Okay,” you say as you jog, thinking out loud. “How about the plan is to start off by checking in at Brawlers’ Cave to see if more of those Max Mushrooms have grown back? And then, let’s make our way over to Challenge Beach. I’d like to camp by the ocean, if that’s okay.”

“Ururu,” Urshifu says agreeably.

“Great,” you grin back at him.

                                          _____________________

Brawler’s Cave is, unfortunately, devoid of all Max Mushrooms.

“These things are turning out to be impossible to find,” you whine, wiping some sweat off your brow. “I need two more of those big clusters? We’ll be looking all week!”

“Fufu, urshi,” Urshifu grumbles.

“Hang on, Urshifu, I can’t look yet,” you answer him. “I’m trying to check behind this boulder - was it this one, or the other one? Do you remember?”

“Urshishi,” Urshifu repeats himself, sounding more stressed.

“Wait - it’s - nope, not it,” you sigh.

“Urshifu!” He demands, grabbing your sleeve and pulling you away from the cranny you were reaching into. He spins you around, and what you see makes your heart stop.

There’s probably nine or ten Golduck, all crawling out of the water on all fours, approaching you slowly, muttering and hissing.

“Oh, shit,” you curse, grabbing for your belt for a backup Pokemon to help you out.

But then you remember - you had no backup Pokemon. The whole point of the Tower challenge had been to go in with just Urshifu. And you had been so focused on Urshifu all day, you hadn’t added your usual Pokemon back to your party afterwards. They were probably all still in Postwick, chilling with Hop and eating his mom’s barbecue.

“It’s just us, Urshifu,” you admit. He makes a whimpering sound, grabbing onto your arm - at the same time that you turn to grab onto him, burying your face in his chest. You just need a moment without the hideous sight of those encroaching Pokemon to think - you can figure out a way out of this, you’re sure of it - even though they’re between you and the exit -

And then Urshifu’s arm winds around you, giving you a gentle squeeze. Carefully, but still firmly, he pries you away from him. When you open your eyes, you’re surprised to see him stepping in front of you, all his fur on end. It makes him look even more enormous than he really is, and he takes two big steps into a wide squat, moving so heavily the rocks on the floor tremble.

His arms stretch out wide, his sharp claws exposed, and he throws back his head as he lets out the most tremendous roar you’ve ever heard. It’s so loud, you actually have to cover your ears, and it reverberates throughout the cave, shaking the stalactites on the ceiling.

Most of the Golduck freeze, suddenly having second thoughts, but one - the one nearest to you - apparently isn’t yet dissuaded, as it rushes Urshifu, its own claws extended. You cower behind your Pokemon, waiting for the rest of them to rush in, too - but the moment never comes. Urshifu grabs the Golduck by its throat as soon as it’s close enough, raising it in the air and letting loose another tremendous roar, somehow even louder than the first. He throws it back in the water, hard, and the Pokemon strikes the surface, where it floats, stunned for a moment, before silently retreating into the depths.

The other Golduck watch the spot where their apparent leader had disappeared, then turn back to Urshifu, who beats his chest and bellows again, this time more gutturally than before. The Golduck look at each other, than back to Urshifu - and then turn and disappear into the water, too.

“Oh, Arceus,” you breathe, touching your hand to Urshifu’s back. “That was beyond creepy. Let’s get out of here.”

Your heart doesn’t start to slow down until you’re out of the cave.

“Urshifu,” you breathe, sinking down onto a nearby rock. He makes a small coo of worry, kneeling down next to you and putting his paw on your shoulder protectively. “I’m okay,” you smile, though it’s shaky. “Thanks to you. What you did back there - it was incredible.” You reach out to your Pokemon, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he pulls you into his embrace with a happy hum. “Thank goodness you were able to look and sound so big and scary! If you were still little, we would have really been in for it,” you breathe into his fur. Urshifu makes a noise of consideration, then stands up, still holding onto you. Your feet are lifted clear of the ground, and he shifts you in his arms so that you’re being carried princess-style. “Urshifu!” You squeal. “What are you doing?”

“Urshi,” he answers noncommittally as he begins to walk towards Challenge Beach.

You’d carried him so many times when he was a Kubfu. To have him carry you now, to be just a little protective of you after defending you so impressively -

You don’t really mind it at all.

                                          _____________________

By the time you’ve got the tent pitched, a campfire going, and more than enough curry for dinner and breakfast tomorrow made, the sun is starting to go down. It’s a beautiful sight on Challenger Beach, painting the ocean in gorgeous pinks and purples.

“Curry didn’t come out bad,” you hum, taking a bite.

“Urrr,” Urshifu sighs contentedly. You laugh a little at his response.

“Guess that’s better than not bad,” you beam. “Take as much as you need. Seconds, thirds, whatever. We have more than enough for today and tomorrow, and I want to make sure that that big belly of yours gets full.”

Urshifu hums, and takes another bowlful at your encouragement.

After you put away the camping cookware, you and Urshifu wander the short distance down to the shoreline. You kick off your shoes and step into the ocean, letting the waves lap at your ankles. Urshifu follows you in, standing in just slightly deeper water than you. You give him a soft smile and reach your hand out for his paw.

“Fu,” he breathes, closing his big fingers around your hand carefully. He’s warm compared to the cool evening air, you notice, as you two start to walk down the shoreline together.

“What a day it’s been,” you muse out loud. “I hope you know, I am really proud of you for taking on the entire Tower and winning against Master Mustard. You fought brilliantly - it’s something I’ll remember forever.”

Urshifu mumbles something shyly.

“I really will, though,” you laugh, then grow serious again. “At the same time, I know today has been really difficult for you. Adapting to an entirely new form is hard enough for any Pokemon, but it’s always really hard for the ones who get so big so quickly, like you. I hope you know, I think you’ve actually done a really good job adjusting.”

Urshifu grumbles his dissent, mimicking the punch that had knocked you nearly senseless, then shaking his head.

“That was a one time thing. I know you’re not going to let that happen again, and neither am I,” you protest, giving what little of his paw your hand can wrap around a squeeze. “And besides, you were so kind to me afterwards, and took such good care of me. I could tell you were really upset, too.”

He nods, turning to you, a deep sadness reflected in his eyes.

“Listen,” you say, squeezing his paw again. “I know you might feel like being big has been more of a curse than anything today, but I think it’s been a good thing overall. You were able to carry me into the dojo and get me treated, for one. You held me and supported me when I needed your care. You can carry the camping pack now, which was really heavy for me, and you scared off that entire horde of Golduck like it was nothing. You looked so huge and in charge when you did that - you made me feel really safe and protected. And I know you’re gonna keep protecting me, big bear.”

He starts a little at the new nickname, his expression surprised.

“You’ll always be my little bear,” you tell him fondly. “But you’re my big bear, now, too, and that’s a great thing in its own way, you know.”

“Shii,” he says, sounding pensive but agreeable.

“Plus, you know, now that you’re so big, you give the most amazing, warm hugs,” you add, grinning up at your Pokemon. His ears flick forward, and he pauses in his tracks, the waves lapping at his ankles. You stop just a moment after him and turn back to face him.

“Urshifu?” He asks, dropping your hand and opening his arms to you.

“Yes, I definitely want one now,” you laugh, running to the big bear and letting him sweep you up in his arms. He lifts you off the ground again, holding you gently yet firmly, and spins around with you a couple times. You laugh in delight and hold tight to him. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that this big sweep-me-off-my-feet hug was something you always wanted to do with me,” you say playfully into his fur.

“Shi shi,” he says, and there’s no mistaking what he means when he says it.

It is.

                                          _____________________

After a couple hours stargazing and chatting, you decide to turn in for the night, unzipping your tent. You settle into your sleeping bag without thinking, and Urshifu lingers by the entrance, cocking his head in confusion.

He usually slept on your chest, huddled up under your chin. You’d typically fall asleep on your back with him, but at some point during the night you’d inevitably turn onto your side. He had always gone along with you, still snuggled up against you on his side, too.

But snuggling up on your chest isn’t really an option for him anymore.

“Here, I can move,” you say, scooting to one side to make room for Urshifu’s larger frame. He enters carefully, zipping the tent shut after himself, but to your surprise, he doesn’t lay down next to you. Instead, he gathers you up in his arms, lifting you off the ground. He lays down on his back and places you gently on his chest, tucking you under his chin.

It’s surprisingly comfortable. He’s much softer and warmer than the ground, and his arms encircle you protectively.

“Is this comfortable for you?” You ask quietly. He nods.

“Fu?” He asks in return.

“I’m very comfortable. If I start to feel heavy at any point, though -”

He shakes his head with a rumble of dissent, and you smile up at him.

“Well…thank you.” His breathing is deep and steady and slow, and as you set your head back down on his chest, it immediately begins to soothe you to sleep. It’s been a long day, and you’re tired. But before you go to sleep, one last thought strikes you.

“Urshifu?” You ask him.

“Hm?” He rumbles.

“You know that no matter what shape or size you come in, no matter what difficulties you face, and no matter what we have to learn together in our training, I’ll always love you, right?”

Urshifu’s arms squeeze tightly around you, and he sits up a little, burying his muzzle in your hair. He stays there for a long moment, and you hold him tightly, noticing that his breathing is becoming a little deeper and more erratic. For a moment, you wonder what’s wrong - and then a teardrop lands in your hair, and you realize he’s crying quietly.

It must feel like a lot for a Pokemon, to have their body completely change into something entirely different in a matter of moments during evolution - especially when they suddenly became many times their original size. If anything like that happened to you, you’re sure it would be an enormous challenge to your self-identity, possibly even your self-worth. And, of course, you’d heard horror stories of Trainers who discarded their Pokemon entirely after evolving, often for no longer being small or cute or easy to manage. You’re sure Urshifu has heard these stories at some point, too - as upsetting as they are, they’re not terribly uncommon - and he must have been so afraid of losing your love, especially after hurting you.

But you can’t imagine ever not loving any of your Partner Pokemon, Urshifu included.

“I mean it, Urshifu,” you murmur to him. “I’ll always be proud of you, and I’ll always love you.”

Urshifu mumbles a few noises through his tears, holding you just a little more firmly. Even as muffled as it is, you know what he’s saying, and you know his words are something you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

After all, with everything you’ve been through - from a nervous introduction and months of vigorous training to tackling the Tower and managing the changes evolution has brought - you’re unable to put into words how happy it makes you to hear Urshifu say he’ll always love you, too.

“I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am to hear that. Now, shhh, big bear,” you soothe him, wiping his tears away and kissing his cheek. You press against his chest, pushing him back down onto your pillow gently, then reach up and wipe away the new pools of tears in his eyes that threaten to spill over. “Let’s get some rest, okay?” You murmur to him, giving him a gentle smile. “It’s been a big day, but there’s no need to cry. We’ll always have each other, okay? Go to sleep, big bear,” you murmur, and he hums quietly, closing his eyes.

“Tomorrow will be a new day,” you tell him, closing your eyes, too. “And we’ll have new adventures then.”

Urshifu lets out a content hum.

“And we’ll have new adventures every day we’re together after tomorrow, too, for as long as we’re both alive,” you promise him, drifting off to sleep, safe and protected and warm.

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Toxel and Toxtricity

848: Toxel

Mmmmmm. I don't remember if I've ever said it in this review series, but I have a really bad repulsion to babies. Toxel isn't exactly being an exception here. Combination of the baby fat in the cheeks and lips and dumb little oversized head and its tongue and its bald-looking lightly misshapen head and AUGH. No sirree, Toxel had a snowball's chance in hell for falling into my good graces just from being so heavily baby-based alone.

It doesn't help that it has a diaper and... oh no... is that why it's Poison type? Please don't tell me that's why it's Poison type. Oh god I dreaded what this thing might turn into when it evolved, and I probably only would've evolved it because my own sister was insistent I keep this horrible little slime goblin around to see what it turns into.

Maybe, just MAYBE I'm being a little too harsh on Toxel, maybe not any of its features are inherently bad but that's just too bad for me I guess. I just had to be a kid in the 90s when a cartoon that was big at the time just happened to air an episode that highlighted all the gross things about babies all at once in a nightmarish context that gave me a goddang phobia of the friggin things as a child. While I don’t really have a crippling fear of them anymore I sure as hell don’t wanna go near one if I can help it. Maybe I'd be writing a very different review right now if a show like that didn't ruin babies forever for me but I guess we'll just never know. And I can’t say I’d ever be very affectionate to a Pokemon that instantly made me think of a scene that scared the ever-loving shit out of me as a kid thank you very much.

...Other than... ALL that... Toxel doesn't have anything going for it anyways. Poison/Electric is a neat typing that was feeling like it was going to waste because it's just some purple thing with a spark of electricity glued to its forehead I guess because they didn't think it looked “Electric” enough. I don't even like the grumpy face cause it's still very babyish. At least in this context... plant these grumpy eyes on literally anything else and I'd probably be all for it but euch. EUCH. The only advantage it really has going is that it’s fairly non-descript as an animal so it looks fairly solidly just-a-monster in a Gen 1 sorta way. But other than that...

Personal Score: 2/10

849: Toxtricity

...How the hell did one of my new least favorite Pokemon of all time suddenly become my top favorite in all of Galar???? Well, whatever. Be careful who you call ugly in preschool, I guess.

Gamefreak must've known they had a hit on their hands with this one, I'm surprised it was a Pokemon they kept secret until the game came out given how much it's skyrocketed into popularity (Striking number 2 in Gen 8 in the Pokemon of the Year polls, only just behind Galar's pseudo legendary). It's definitely at least pushed like one of the flagship Pokemon of Galar, with statues dedicated to it and its own G-Max form that they felt the need to keep further under wraps until very recently, only teasing its appearance as a hill figure. You're even handed a free Toxel at the Daycare. Frankly I'm alarmed no major character even has one on their team!

But this design in general totally is one of the stars of the show in Gen 8. While it definitely lifts aspects of salamanders and other amphibians into its design, it feels a lot like the classic “just a monster” type design from Pokemon's early days. The way they anthropomorphize it is neat too. It has an overall comical body structure with a long neck, lanky long arms and amusingly tiny legs.

Its face is also great. The tired, dreary eyes are cool and it thankfully turned that badly implemented bolt feature from Toxel into a full on electric mohawk! The head spikes are also neat, especially at the angle it holds its head back in its default pose ingame, it sorta evokes the look of the head of an electric guitar.

And that right there's the whole aesthetic of Toxtricity, of course! They're punk rockers! All covered in spikes and everything, even right down to having spiked belt. The little wart-like bulges on its chest are also doubling as guitar strings! There's plenty animations where it strums them to rock out, mohawk lighting up and everything. It strums these warts to generate electricity and make a ton of noise while it does so. That's such a cool way to incorporate an object into a naturalistic element on an animal. I like my objectmon and monsters with on the nose object motifs quite a bit myself, but it's cool that Toxtricity managed to fit an element as specific as an electric guitar's strings into an animal that would normally have no business having such an element but it just works.

And I can understand not everybody digs that color scheme; fairly bright purple and yellow is brave, to say the least, but I'd say it works! Even if I'm oddly enough, kind of a fan of color schemes other people might consider garish, you could say it just works because Toxtricity as a punk rocker is all about tearing down the norms, man. It also helps to make it look far more lively than its more mellowed out cousin.

Which, by the way, Toxtricity has a form gimmick too. A pretty unique one at that, and now that they've had it happen I'm surprised it's only happened just now, but what form your Toxel becomes depends on what Nature it is. The more excitable, energetic sounding natures will become the Amped form above, while the more chill or relaxed sounding natures will become the “Low Key” form.

At first, you'd wonder what that has to do with punk rock and why Toxtricity out of all the band-themed Pokemon we've already had up to this point, but a closer inspection highlights that Low Key is more of a bass as opposed to Amped as a guitar. They even have bumps mirroring their respective instruments! Amped has six just like an electric guitar has six strings, while Low Key has four, just like an electric bass has four strings! Low Key even seems to have a slightly longer neck than Amped form does, again, just like how basses have longer necks compared to guitars! It really is so much fun how much mileage they're getting out of the visual theming here. It’s really cool how we got a Pokemon that imitates an inanimate object in a way that’s totally organic and natural-looking way.

To tie all the theming up in a nice bow, they have a unique ability called Punk Rock, which increases the damage their sound-based moves do while halving the damage they take from the same kind of moves. Given that there's some Pokemon that are outright deaf with the ability Soundproof, it's easy to assume that Toxtricity unfortunately suffers from hearing loss. They can still hear, just not as well. Indeed, right under natural aging, the number 2 cause of hearing loss is listening to music too loudly. Much like punks are one to do. Turn down your music, kids!

That said, if I had to pick just one, I'd easily pick Amped just because it generally looks cooler and has a bolder color scheme. The only thing I'm less than sure on for these two is their “tails”... which rather than being tails are now just stiff extra-large spikes jutting out of their butt. And since I used a Toxtricity on my team, thus was looking at the backside of one for most of the game, yeah, hard to not notice. I would've much preferred a more normal tail that could've also had some spikes around the tip of it if you must carry the punk theming that far.

Also I'm not a fan of their name. “Toxtricity” is just toxic and electricity clumsily mashed together and it doesn't really roll off the tongue. Like, was that really the best localization could come up with?? If I had to take a crack at naming it, I would've called it Punkture or something similar.

Personal Score: 10/10

G-Max Toxtricity:

The two Toxtricities share a G-Max form that incorporates elements from them both. And hmm... I'm not as much of a fan of this G-Max, sadly. It's still cool, don't get me wrong, but the tesla coil look to the tail feels out of place and a bit more “generic electric type” imagery to me compared to all the electric guitar/bass theming the previous two had.

It's also huddled down on all fours. I'm sure some are happy about that much, and it helps differentiate it from its normal-sized self, but I felt like being anthro was a little vital to the line's theming, given it needed some free hands to strum its bumps. The spark eyes are also neat but the tired look just looks more amusing to me. Eh. Just every feature here feels “It's neat and all but the basic forms did it better.”

Oh, wait, there is ONE thing!

Its attack animations sees it pulling a literal electric guitar out and smashing its opponents with it. Now THAT is wicked cool!!

Personal Score: 9.5/10

[Archive]

[moved99999999999]

U guys wanna know what I think about that hell hotel show

I feel like twitter’s very tired of seeing ppl talk about Hazbin Hotel, so I putting my opinions on tumblr where they belong. I’m not a “professional critic” by any means, but I’ll try my best given what I know. And don’t worry, I’ll be incredibly nit-picky to suit the internet’s needs.

I’m gonna mainly focus on HH itself instead of Vivzie’s accusations because that's a WHOLE other can of worms to open.

During the time of me writing this, I haven’t watched any YT reviews, but I’ve read a few threads criticising the show, so take that as my social influence bias.

My ted talk is allllll below the cut. Enjoy~

Context: 

My first exposure of Vivzie’s work was her “Die Young” animation that I came across around 2016. Instantly I fell in love with how “smooth” and lively her animation was, and especially the fact that it was hand drawn. Animation like that was extremely rare to come by (and still is) and seeing her execute it so well with such complexed characters was amazing to my fetus self. 

A few years later and I see the first trailer for HH. I instantly went OH I RECOGNISE THAT STYLE AND THOSE CHARACTER TYPE DESIGNS and was looking forward to what it had to offer. 

On “opening day” I watched the pilot ASAP to avoid my opinions from getting warped by all of the key-mash memes and post call-out bitching (literally the extremes of the HH opinion spectrum), and overall.....

I thought it was good. 

Not ground breakingly amazing, not horrifically terrible, but charmingly good.

(Ok now it’s actual review time)

Animation Quality:

As a hand drawn animation that has the freedom to get creative with its shots, a lot of effort was clearly put into how everything moves (it definitely didn’t take any lazy flash puppet shortcuts for the main sections of the show) and I can appreciate that. However it tends to be... rather inconsistent, most likely due to the varying skill level of the animators on the project. It’ll be nice and smooth one minute, and then awkward and choppy the next which can make the viewing pretty confusing at times. I’ll be honest I found myself overlooking these inconsistencies due to the characters and backgrounds themselves being very visually engaging, especially considering how over designed some of them can be (which I applaud the team for handling cuz wow that must have been painful). However, the needle thin and exaggerated art style makes some things incredibly hard to look at. While it helps with adding fancy details, it hurts in catching peoples eyes in the right place.

It’s also chalk full of little details, visual gags, and references that are hilarious to look at if you have the luxury of pausing every two seconds (the news segment and Sir Pentious turf war w/ Angel and Cherri are good places to look). But I feel like these lil details were put in at the cost of some some continuity errors (Charlie not wearing her coat in one shot, and having it back on in the next, papers being blank, etc.) and lip-syncing issues which really shouldn’t be happening considering all of the detail they were able to put in. There are also some shots that have just SO MUCH detail put into them, only to be shown for less than a second. I get that’s the cost of animation sometimes, but save the detail for the shots that need it, because at that point you’re just causing the animators to waste their efforts.

However, I was surprised at how professional the soundtrack and editing was. Not one but THREE songs in this single episode was really surprising, and the variation and quality of each was great (as cringy as Charlie’s song is)

But overall, the production quality is surprisingly good for a project like this, the editing, sound effects, and sound track act like a cherry on top. Of course there are some noticeable drops in quality, but given time and a budget, it has enough chops to look like an actual show.

Writing: 

As far as overarching plot goes, it seems like it’s going to be one of those procedural shows that tries to be serialised, but it’s a creative twist on hell and has an interesting premise to begin with. You can get really creative with seeing how you’d dive into getting redemption out of all of these seemingly lost causes, and I’m sure there are many people willing to know the backstories our main cast. As a pilot, it did it’s job of launching the plot very well, setting up the premise of the hotel and introducing characters in a very engaging way. I was legit really interested in each segment with who in introduced, and it didn’t feel like I was being overloaded with names to remember (which can be a problem for many medias and introductions). The cohesion between each scene is VERY smooth, and I genuinely enjoyed some of the cliché cuts/gags. 

Unfortunately I can’t extend this interest to our main character. Charlie is one of the most generic tropes we’ve ever seen. She’s a boring Disney princess who has a “cute happy positive goal to change her world” and the only thing that would make her more generic is if she wore a dress and cried “I’m tired of being so privileged”. 

(Although it’s impossible to tell, I honestly think Viv is just projecting through her, especially considering how horrifically accurate the hotel’s opening mirrors the internet’s reaction to the pilot itself)

I would be more forgiving if she was a supporting character or someone less important, but she’s the freaking protagonist, arguably the character that has to be the most interesting. Angel’s personality seems to be “flirty porn star”, and while that’s just as bad as being a boring Disney princess, at least he gets a few jokes and has a profession more interesting than Charlie’s. Around the end of the pilot he just seems like he’s getting involved because Viv likes giving him attention. If he’s supposed to be leeching off of the hotel, wouldn’t not care if it survives or not?

(There’s that whole stereotype issue that everyone keeps bringing up, but I genuinely think that’s BS because people are blatantly ignoring the fact that Angel is a porn star, Vaggie is portrayed as helpful, and that the show takes place in H E double hokey sticks.)

The transitions may be smooth, but the dialogue pacing can get really awkward at times. This paired with the animation sometimes having awkward quality drops makes some movements incredibly jagged, and has some detailed shots show for incredibly unbalanced screen time as mentioned before. 

I don’t have enough to give voice acting it’s own section so I’m just popping it down here:

The voice acting is legitimately better than several big name projects I know. It’s consistent, great at expressing the character’s mood properly, and each voice fits each character perfectly. My only gripes are that Alastor and Sir Pentious tend to grain on you after awhile due to them keeping a single tone for too long. 

Character Design: AKA the only thing I have legitimate experience with.

First thing’s first. The characters are WAY too over designed. There are so many markings and accessories that are incredibly unnecessary. I think the mindset for these characters was “the more complicated and attractive the better”, which makes them look like they’re designed by an edgy tumblr artist (heck I fall for this too some times).

Especially if a character is going to be animated, you have to keep in mind the value of simplicity. You absolutely don’t have to fill in your character with markings and trinkets to make them look unique, I mean just look at the gen 1 pokemon starters. Thanks to the limitations of the game, the sprites were forced to be simple, and it was that simplicity that made them such unique and varied creatures. You can tell Blastoise is a bulky water blasting turtle just with a quick glance. 

Many of the characters suffer from over complication, but I’ll look at Husk for example. He has these stripes all over him that do not contribute to who he’s supposed to be at all, and only look like they’re added to make him more unique. The markings that DO help are the little card suite marks on his wings, because those at least infer he’s linked to a casino/gambling type of theme. I would say his outfit helps as well, but formal wear and bowties are worn way to often by the main characters, which brings me to another problem.

They may look different, but they feel way too similar. From the same skinny body type, to generic head shapes, to outfits, the focus characters just don’t stand out amongst each other. Even the ones with interesting features still suffer from feeling generic. I’d say Sir Pentious is a good example of this. He has a serpentine/naga body and clever hair style that make his concept really creative, but his skinny body type, complicated eyes all over his tail, and generic “young but supposed to be at least middle aged” face just push him back into obscurity. He’s even wearing the SAME outfit as Alastor (who's an even worse offender of that generic face problem), and unless Viv has some plan to link the two, I’d say the characters need to stop using a dress code.

A successful character design can to tell you who the character is just by looking at them. You should be able to tell if a character’s personality, function, age, the universe they belong in, and if they’re important or not, and that’s a big problem when it comes to the background characters. If you pause on one of the extras for a minute you can see all of the effort put into designing them, and that takes away so much attention from the main cast. Not only that, but they have actual variations in their body types and outfits, which makes them more intriguing than who we’re supposed to be interested in.

Regardless, this pilot has potential, and if they can get someone to comb out the flaws, you can end up with something good. No one can deny a legitimate animation was made here, and the team successfully executed the start of a story, and that’s something anyone can look up to.

TLDR: The pilot is good. It has some major flaws, but it has potential to be a good show.

If you actually read this far epstein didn’t kill himself.

[crystalelemental]

I've gone on record stating that Gen 3 is not my favorite, and I stand by that.  I think Team Aqua/Magma had a lot to do with that, being far less interesting than they should have been.  As much as we mock IGN for it, the fact that the latter third of the game is a bunch of surf routes with the same Pokemon over and over is also frustrating.   Also, since I'm in the middle of playing the remakes of ORAS, I find it really frustrating the things that they changed, with my biggest gripe being that I wish my rival would go away forever.  That said, the Pokedex itself has always been something I appreciated.  A lot of my favorites came from Gen 3, so I tended to remember the Pokemon in the region fondly, even if the region wasn't my favorite.

TOP 15: 15) Mightyena line - There was so much competition for this slot, it's ridiculous. Ultimately though, I have to give it to Mightyena and its pre-evolution, Poochyena.  Both have great designs, but the thing that stood out to me most was that, in the early game, we were given a Dark type.  That's really atypical! Usually you go through the normal types, the Flying types, and the bugs, until after the first gym.  But Gen 3? You got things like Mightyena right away; it wasn't even rare!   Combined with things like Seedot/Lotad and Ralts, you had some interesting types going into the first gym.  Mightyena is a great starting point for introducing how unique Gen 3 and its Pokedex are, and I think it stands out a lot because of it.

14) Nosepass - Imagine being a kid who had faced Brock back in gen 1.   Imagine again that you started with Red and Blue, and didn't pick Charmander. Odds are, you blasted through him without a second thought.  Literally no issue. Now, imagine going to Roxanne, blasting through her Geodude like they're nothing, and then encountering Nosepass, who can tank those Grass and Water hits just fine, and hits pretty hard for early game.  Nosepass is awesome.  It's a fantastic tank, who can take all sorts of hits in that early game.  While it doesn't hit particularly hard later on, its main draw is as a wall among walls, with great support options.  The concept of basically being a walking easter island head statue is also comical.  It looks funny, but it's adorable too, making for a fantastic overall Pokemon.

13) Absol - This is a Pokemon that gets a lot of favoritism based on aesthetics. It's a sleek and pretty Pokemon, but also has a great role.  It tells of impending disasters, and is a fun but short-lived character in Red Rescue Team as well.  I really like Absol, and just wish it could be a bit faster so it could have a solid competitive niche.

12) Aggron line - We've had big bipedal rock monsters before, like Rhydon and Tyranitar.  But Aggron is just a different kind of cool.  Its sleek metal plating and terrifying design are fantastic.  The fact that it starts out as the cute little Aron only helps add to its charms.  Best of all, you get it super early game.  Rhydon was surprisingly late-game, and Tyranitar was literally only attainable when you had nothing left to do.  But Aggron? You can run one the whole game.  I love the ability to do that.

11) Metagross - YEAH!  Metagross is a beast, and a strong contender for my favorite pseudo-legend.  It's literally a walking tank, with the glorious Steel/Psychic typing.  It had one of the few Steel moves in the game that was actually useful, and back before the nerf, Steel covered all of Psychic type's weaknesses, making it a defensive and offensive nightmare.  I love the entire concept behind this behemoth, too.  It's a walking robot monster, whose evolution is basically just it gaining more legs until it becomes Omega Weapon. 

10) Breloom - I'll get to a similar case later, but Breloom is a favorite based on typing.  Grass/Fighting was unreal at the time, and it did super well for itself. Plus it's just cute.  A tiny little punching mushroom child, with stubby little arms that apparently shoot out to hit really hard.  It's a quirky concept with a fun design, and I adore it. Plus, Spore with the abilities it would later get made it a surprisingly brutal enemy to face.

9) Roselia - IT'S SO PRETTY!  Such a gorgeous Pokemon.  Grass/Poison was pretty overdone, even at this point, but I just loved the appearance of it.

8) Swampert line - Dual-type starters, at this point, were still relatively rare. Venusaur had Grass/Poison, but so did every Grass type in gen 1 barring Tangela.  Charizard had Fire/Flying, but the fact it wasn't Dragon is stupid.  Gen 3 introduced new dual-types for starters, and one great one is Water/Ground with Swampert.  While the combination had been done before with Quagsire, Swampert offered far better overall bulk and damage output, on top of its excellent typing.  It's also goofy-looking, but in a really charming way.  It's just so loveable, and every evolution retains that cute look.

7) Flygon - Flygon is just cute to me.  It looks like such a friend.   Being a Pokemon that exists in the sandstorm-focused desert area was also cool.  I really liked that there was an entire region dedicated just to the new weather effect.  Shame that Sandstorm was such a pain in the ass, but it's a really cool area!

6) Altaria - Altaria is so pretty.  Just a fluffy cotton ball bird...dragon.  It's apparently more of a songbird, too, which is just heavenly.  It also got a great mega evolution, receiving Dragon/Fairy typing, which is hilarious and excellent.

5) Latias - I'm guessing this run of Dragons is proving I really like the soft, friendly dragons over the big intimidating ones that actually do well, huh? Dragon/Psychic was, at this point, the coolest typing I had ever heard of.  But what's cooler than that?  How about a super adorable Dragon/Psychic type.  Oh, what's this?  It gets a hold item that boosts special attack and special defense 50%?  That's ridiculous, I love it. Latias is the more defensive option of the two, which I always felt was better if you factor in hold item.  The added defensive bulk is going to matter more than slightly more physical offense from their perspective.  Of course, Latios having much better special attack is ultimately better in competitive, but Latias still has her use, and is super cute.

4) Blaziken line - Remember when Fire/Fighting was a novel type?  Remember when its introduction was a kick-boxing chicken creature?  Those were the days. Torchic is one of the cutest starters, and its final evolution is surprisingly still an elegant design.  It was such a cool idea, and I love that Hidden Abilities brought it back to the top.

3) Mawile - It's such a cute little creature.  Cute and terrifying, and excellent combination for sure.  It's a shame that Mawile ultimately was a forgettable Steel type in terms of competitive use, but the acquisition of Fairy type and the best mega really helped it out on that front, too.  So I guess it's basically perfect? Sounds about right.

2) Milotic - I never caught one in gen 3.  Not fairly, anyway.  I could never figure out how to get Feebas to show up.  In fact, I don't think I've ever captured a Feebas.  I've always traded for it.  It's just so hard to find.  But man, is the final form ever beautiful.  It's such a gorgeous Pokemon, and an excellent tank to boot.  Everything about Milotic is wonderful.

1) Gardevoir line - Don't you judge me.  We all knew this would happen.  If you read anything in this post or the ones before it, you know elegant and cute are the biggest draws for me.  Gardevoir is both. It's also a Psychic type, so bonus points there.  Also, as mentioned in the Mightyena entry, it's super early-game. Rare, sure, but you can have a Psychic type from nearly the very start of the game.  I love Gardevoir so much, it's definitely an all-time favorite, and it should come as no surprise that it winds up being the favorite from this generation.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Pelipper - I like Pelipper.  Its reason for being here is that so many Gen 3 Pokemon are great, it just doesn't stand out as much as the others.  I have literally no complaints, I just locked myself into "it has to be 10" and here we are.

9) Huntail - Same as above, it just doesn't hold as much aesthetic appeal.

8) Seviper - If there's anything I actually dislike here, it's just that it's pure-Poison type.  We had a Poison snake already.  I would've liked to see a different typing added in.  Poison/Dark at this phase of the game would've been amazing.

7) Zangoose - Still good, but it loses points based on my frustrations with Pokemon Coliseum.

6) Glalie - Getting closer to legitimate frustrations, Glalie is here because its design doesn't captivate.  Snorunt is cute, but it evolves into an angry face in a block of ice.  Not exactly all that interesting.

5) Volbeat - Did nothing legitimately wrong, but I am upset that Volbeat gets a lot of nice and unique tools that Illumise does not.  I like Illumise.  I think its color scheme is a lot better.  But Volbeat gets the nice tools, so whatever I guess.

4) Ninjask - Please stop speed boosting, I am begging you.  You do nothing else but Swords Dance, Speed Boost and Baton Pass, please do something else.

3) Slaking - Okay, actual legitimate complaints.  Slaking's problem is it goes backwards.  Vigoroth was a nightmare to face, and I have a friend who stated that facing Norman's was the reason he started to respect Normal types as something other than early-game fodder.  But Slaking?   It re-acquires Truant, which is an awful ability by any standard, and requires very specific team support, on Doubles only, to mitigate.   Anyone who sees Slaking knows exactly what will happen, and is probably more than prepared to shut it down.  It's a nice design, and a nice concept, but it's been so ruined by the ability it is burdened with that it's virtually unusable.

2) Plusle/Minun - Possibly less legitimate complaint, but I feel more strongly about it. Plusle and Minun are cute and have solid designs, but their great sin is being Pikachu clones for the new area, kicking off the trend of needing an electric rodent in every area.  Worse, they do not evolve, offer little in the way of any competitive value, and existed to show off the introduction to Double Battles with their unique abilities and access to Helping Hand.  Beyond this, they offer very little, and are the reason we have to always have a new electric rodent that ultimately winds up having no competitive niche.

1) Grumpig - Literally the only one on this list I dislike.  Spoink is cute, and Grumpig is...not.  It just looks irritable and not all that friendly by comparison.  It's also nothing too impressive competitively, and offers little in the way of uniqueness, losing the quirk of constantly bouncing around like Spoink did to...just be grumpy.  It's a Pokemon I might like more on its own, but as an evolution of Spoink it doesn't seem as interesting.

[oswednesday]

redoing rose’s team before the last of the gym leaders is def a dessert before dinner sort of thing

(ability: heavy metal, moves: heavy slam, flying drop, gravity, fissure)

(so there’s only one battle for him, as far as i want to do rn? ill come up with some kind of Post Game plot but idk yet, i reaaaally loved the setting and the music of this battle what if i spent this whole post just gushing about it?)

(this pkmn design Hard Core reminds me of the game i cant remember, i almost want to use the shiny form cause it fits a pkmn setting better? imo, ill end up tweaking it a bit, i Know turner has played that game whose name i cant recall)

(but big GOD when rose is like ill show you a move thatll (something gloating but not too over top) i cant remember the exact line, it was like, the same way youd show someone a cool pic of your dog only you have a god complex it obliterated my brain cells to make way for horny cells and then hits you with that gmax like ughhhhhhh wish tht was me,)

(they didnt really do anything interesting with this pkmn outside  of the gmax and the heavy slam heavy metal, a lot of the attack dexs feel the samey in this gen cause they axed sooo many moves???)

(oh he gigbigs this bad boy up and uses that move, you know whats up)

(ability: stance change, moves: king’s shield, scared sword, aerial ace, shadow sneak)

(i know ive said this A Bunch but out of any battle this was the one that felt the most like, pain from being stuck in a 20 year old battle simulator, the moves, the banter, the setting, the so so excellent villain song uuugh)

(i like the idea of like even if you missed every clue and were just she/him/thembo on main about the plot youd be like OH THE FINAL FORM OF THOSE SWORD DUDE) 

(i wonder why they never give plot characters shinies even when it makes like, sense? this is literally rose’s sexy sexy palette)

(type: grass/fighting)

(ability: queenly majesty, moves: trop kick, high jump kick, mega kick, endeavor)

(they gave him like random uggos that were just steel like you think a man that Fine is using a ferrothorn??????????????????????? give him shiny ferrothorn at least, its also his palette a bit)

(also sorta wild this thing didnt get turned into grass/fighting? i might turn it into one in the emulator)

(ability: huge power, moves: iron head, vise grip, crunch, poison fang)

(i wasnt sure about this one? but its like elegant, plant looking The Deceiver and steel type so at the same time it seems really obvious? so idk why im like hmm about it)

(ability: light weight, moves: steel beam, flash canon, breaking swipe, metal burst)

(i CANNOT BELIEVE!! they gave one of the gym leaders this and not had this be rose’s like big signature hitter like kidoking or sm shit lik!!!!e!!!!!! man of steel! literal tower! rose tower! sky scrappers!! the FUTURE ughhhhh!!!)

(looking at its g max move it feels like it really was designed for rose, omg what happened?)

(anyway he Also dyamax’s this thing, cause every, like miss o, this blows the remainder of the power so the power plant is on back up generators for the rest of the time? or something? probably something dangerous like a core reactor thing? ill have to look up power plant stuff, wow,,,doing this for you,,,rose)

(type: grass/steel)

(ability: technician, moves: bullet seed, bullet punch, seed bomb, magnet bomb)

(another i cant believe he didnt have it, also,,,,a  type update, like his extra fancy hotel has roselia in designs all over the place! budew sitting on counters! and he wouldnt be rocking one? shame shame SHAME on whoever picked his team out!!)

(ill probs keep the purple rose red tho)

(this team is so flammable but i think cause rose isnt a competitive battler par say that its less like, immersion breaking,  also people probs just lose to him like on purpose all the time, i think he can tell but he never points it out, making battle where you go all out on him something that really moves him)

(making the air be like high altitude so fire attacks do 30% less damage and might just not work, treated more like a miss than say attract so stuff that never misses will land)

-----

battle 2

(dragon/????)

(ability: darkest night: as long as eternatus remains in eteramax form, no pokemon on the field can alter their form through dymax, mega stones or abilities, as long as eternatus enteramax is on the field sunny day and moves that induce harsh sunlight will not take effect; the air becomes noxious air and increases poison damage every turn eternatus remains on the field)

(WILD that they didnt gameifiy how this pkmn behaves and just threw pressure on it sdfgh???)

(also sorry for writing that like a yugioh card, idk how any emulator will deal with that and i might have to rpg the results go with whatever is most narratively interesting, or just set stuff manually and increase as i go? idk!)

(it major feels that somewhere Way early on in the development they stopped designing it as a game and started to do like, a pkmn movie you can slightly interact with, like because nothing is recreateable unlike say darkrai who does have bad dreams ability, this was majorly thinking about how it look in a 3d setting and less how it would function as a monster in a game settin which!!!!

its bonkers cause we LITERALLY just had ultra beasts!!!!!)

(like this is such a step back in game design But i totally get and love what they were trying to do, so going with that, lets give this thot some moves)

(moves: acid rain-??? effect: causes multiple weather effects at once [ link ]

super glitch-???  Defying natural law, this attack increases the users hp beyond all limitations, as punishment this user is frozen, burn and poisoned [ link ]

symbiosis eject button-??? forces the target’s held item to take effect twice, if no item is held the first or second time or if the effect cannot take effect, the target faints if hit [ link ]

zzazz-??? the user explodes damaging everything around it including themselves, if the user faints while using this move, its hp is replenished [ link ] )

[shayne-or-something-blog]

Episodes 11-13

Brock confuses a piece of grass for a bug just to make Misty freak out.

Ah shit, Charmander, not this episode. The feels are coming back already.

Why does Misty keep trying to catch non-water Pokemon? These people and their elemental ethics.

The entirety of Pikachu trying to explain what Charmander said pisses me off. Every bit of it. How does Ash speak Pikachu but not Charmander, and why does he have to have the last bit of everything Pikachu relays to him be done in charades? How was Charmander caught at all if he belonged to another trainer? Don't Pokeballs just bounce off Pokemon owned by others?

Fucking Charmander in the rain with the leaf over it's flame, come on heart, we can survive another break.

How does this shitty english accented Damien have so many Pokemon with him? I wish I could have more than 6 at a time. He has like 16.

Damien is such a dick to Pokemon, how did Charmanader ever like him in the first place?

Is there Pokemon abuse laws in this universe? There should be if not.

Pokemon aren't supposed to be used in personal fights, ruining all of my rival battles in every video game so far. Sorry about that Dickbutt (my rival of course).

Misty in the span of one sentence says that this is dangerous and they shouldn't be doing it and then follows that up with a wink and "Gotta help a Pokemon in need." Everyone is so fucking wishywashy in this show.

Spearow are just real dicks.

Damien and his gang leave the Pokecenter in the middle of the night during a pretty bad storm cementing my speculations on his intelligence.

Ash without a hat ruins my headcanon.

Charmander was in a glass rehibilation thing last we saw him, but somehow opened a window and bailed during the night.

Brock gives more of a shit about Charmander than Ash, but he ends up with that shitty Zubat. I hate that thing.

Jesse and James syncing for their motto was a little off and it bothered me much more than I anticipated it would.

More pitfalls.

The giant drill machine has legs and hides behind a thin tree. This works.

Team Rocket calls themselves geniuses for digging a hole. For the second time.

This balloon bazooka thing just weirds me out. It somehow followed Pikachu, moved super slow but caught it still, and somehow the balloon absorbed Pikachu and then shrank to a fourth it's normal size.

Charmander keeps doing the gimme hands and it's adorable.

Charmander flamethrowers the group but doesn't melt the rubber balloon to Pikachu's flesh, disfiguring it for life.

Damien left in the middle of the night but ends up where Ash and co. are at the most coincidental time.

Damien is still Charmander's trainer, can Pokemon just choose to release themselves if they dislike their trainers too much? Did Ash steal Charmander?

Not gonna lie, Charmander is the most hype part of the series so far for nostalgia reasons. That dude is a hero.

That makes pitfall number 3 for the series.

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE, SQUIRTLE SQUAD

Brock asks a bunch of Squirtle who they are like they're gonna answer him in something other than "Squirtle"

Second to the right Squirtle gave his life for the horde.

Old Western shootout theme is dope, no lie.

Can Jenny stop her bike in anyway other than a sliding drift?

Jenny and Joy are the laziest shits animators could do, but I love it.

"They're not troublemakers they're just misguided" excuse for the Squirtle Squad.

Jesse's rant about world domination being greater than lunch is ended with her stomach proving her wrong.

None of these sunglasses should be able to stay on the Squirtle's faces.

Pitfall number 4.

Terrible translation about jelly doughnuts meme.

So like, Meowth can speak to Pokemon in human speech and they understand him just fine? This does nothing to help my understanding of interspecies conversations that take place in this show.

Pikachu Thundershocks everything but it's target.

Rapid Spin, not a Gen 1 move, Squirtle is cheating.

Oh God, another Goldeen.

This Goldeen is pissed.

Just fucks Pikachu up out of the blue.

Where did the Squirtle Squad get all this rope?

Pikachu requires specifically Super Potion to heal from the Goldeen attack. Nothing else will suffice.

Where did the Squirtle Squad get purple hair dye, and WHY do they have purple hair dye?

You can tell someone is doing something important by the way they fall when doing normal activities in this show.

Ash's upper body strength is really impressive for a 10 year old.

ANOTHER GOLDEEN

Gary mothafuckin Oak, ladies and gentlemen.

Jesse pulls a bazooka on the people in the shop. A bazooka.

The bazooka fire cherry blossom petals?

So many guns in this episode but didn't they ban a later episode for having guns in it? What makes these guns okay? Is it the cherry blossom bazooka?

Jenny knows a secret passageway to the hidden cave where the Squirtle Squad stays?

Charmander's voice is the best.

The end of the secret passageway was blocked by a rock so how did Jenny even know about this passageway to begin with or that it would lead there? I'm so confused.

Purple hair dye was just a prank bro.

Squirtle fell over and it can't get up.

Ash had two literal bombs thrown on him and just gets his clothes dirty.

Squirtle going ham and picking Ash up over it's head while crying made me legitimately laugh.

Even Team Rocket doesn't understand how Ash and Squirtle got from the cave entrance to the top of the cliffs.

Smokey was wrong, only the Squirtle Squad could put out forest fires.

Ash has gotten so many freebies in his journey so far. 4 of his 6 Pokemon just kind of rolled with him, 1 of the other 2 was Caterpie so who counts that. Two free badges on top of that?

I fear I'll memorize the PokeRap by the end of this.

The very next episode actually just rails Ash for all the freebies he's gotten. Dope.

Krabby just foaming at the mouth always cracks me up.

Ash tries to swordfight Krabby with a stick to weaken it instead using any Pokemon.

It works.

Why did Damien's excess Pokemon not phase away like Krabby did?

Why in the world was there a random cut to Oak making ramen thrown in lol

Brock gets them into the lighthouse by offering to make bacon cheeseburgers for the guy running it.

Bellsprout phone makes me jealous I don't have a Bellsprout phone.

So much random ass tofu in this episode.

Of course Gary caught a Krabby too that's three times bigger than Ash's.

More mouth foaming, love it.

OH SHIT, THIS IS BILL'S LIGHTHOUSE? HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER?

Bill just chills in the best Kabuto cosplay of all time.

I want to see Jesse and James do their random motto and movements from someone else's point of view.

The acoustics in this lighthouse are stunning.

So Dragonite is the Pokemon Bill was referring to being the last of it's kind but that is prove to be untrue. Is this a diffent kind of Dragonite or Pokemon?

This is also legitimately one of the most vivid memories I have of the original series, watching Godzillanite come out of the water.

Second size matters joke made in this children's show.

Godzillanite knows Bill isn't the one who fucked with him but leaves anway, leaving it all alone again.

Dragonite cloud doesn't help not make me mad that they never come back to Godzillanite in a future episode.