#literally every single issue i love lucia more

[sockich]

You made us them. You played into the stories they tell about the movement. You involved innocent people, and you made them right. No... we finally made them stop.

Aquaman: The Becoming #4 by Brandon Thomas, art by Scott Koblish

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter 22: Proposition

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Twenty-Two: Proposition

Note: This entire chapter feels like a shitpost, and I love it. Also, dear god have I been busy working on things for a physical release of the fic! You’ll hear more about that next week on Wednesday, but if you are interested in beta reading, I have left a form below. Doing it myself is tricky, and there is a free copy in it for you bound in your choice of type (hardback, paperback, hardback with a paper cover, etc) and you will receive credit because I’m not a monster XD. 

I think I want to do it as a charity thing, so suggest charities the proceeds should be donated to in the form below even if you’re not interested in being a beta reader! The size of the charity is irrelevant. They just have to be credible (IE not a nightmare like Autism Speaks or the Salvation Army, or PETA, not to get judgy or upset anyone. They just have a very bad rep.) Anyway, enough of that! Back to the story!

(-~-)

By all accounts, the initial plan had been simple enough. They were going to eat dinner and then see where the evening took them. The only issue was that not a single one of them had really thought the plan through. That was typical enough, all things considered, but none of them really considered the fact that accomplishing that goal might be a little bit harder than they had originally expected it to be. Namely because of one major problem.

While Sirrus’s intentions had been pure enough when he had offered to cook, and V’s had been equally so when he had agreed to allow him to do so, the execution of those plans had left much to be desired. Making plans without knowing the full extent of their impact seemed to be something that ran in the Sparda family, regardless of the context of the plan, and while this was a minor occurrence in a sea of what had otherwise been huge high stakes situations, that didn’t change the fact that it was literally impossible to cook without food. And if it wasn’t, no one present wanted to know how that was done.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that you might be a little short on… everything at the moment.” Sirrus said as politely as he could, clearly amused by the utter emptiness that he was presented with when he opened the cabinet door. “Am I getting my hopes up by assuming that you have something in the refrigerator, or are we just going to have to make a run to the store? I mean, we’re probably going to have to for what I had in mind, but still.”

V felt himself die a little inside at his companion’s polite yet ruthless assessment of his current living situation. Sirrus was entirely correct, it was too much to hope for. He hadn’t really been home much recently, if at all since he had acquired the place, and as such, grocery shopping had been very low on his list of priorities. It had been easier to just grab something and call it a day in the two days that he had actually been in the house so far. He only wished that he had thought of that before he’d offered to allow Sirrus to cook! He could have saved himself a lot of unneeded embarrassment.

Was this what it felt like to be Dante? Because if it was, that was a tragedy. The only upside to his current situation was that Lucia, Nico, and Nero were in the next room talking, so they were not able to experience his deep loathing and shame first hand, not to mention the verbal beatdown that he had just suffered at Sirrus’s hands. Or should he say vocal cords? Either way, the point still stood that he did indeed need to procure food because the only thing available to consume in the house was peeling wallpaper, dried-out paint, and dust. And knowing V’s luck, Shadow had probably already consumed those already when he wasn’t looking. That was absolutely something she would do.

“I would say the latter is the most true, given the options at hand. That is not to say that the second option is not correct, as it absolutely is… but that’s not the type of narrative I’d like to weave at this juncture.” V “But the thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest, so it is probably best that I simply accompany you to the store so I can see to it that my cabinets are not as bare as Dante’s office is dark.”

Sirrus nodded as he closed a stary cabinet door, turning to fully face the slightly frazzled young man. “That seems agreeable enough. Hopefully my matter of fact, no-nonsense way of stating the obvious wasn’t as abrasive as it seems now that I am able to look back on it. Hindsight is 2020, as they say.” He straightened out his long shirt, adjusting his shoulders as he allowed his head to pull from side to side. He was slightly uncomfortable as, for the first time, he stepped close enough to V to notice that they were largely the same size and stature. What an eye-opening realization. “I’m sarcastic, some would even sardonic, but I like to think I’m not unfeeling. I’ve yet to lose my grip on the reality of the world around me and start to view the rest of the world with a sort of cold dissonance like so many around me have. What do people call that now? Being edgy? Somehow I am under the impression that that might not be the proper use of that term.”

V brushed him off, taking a step to the side instead of taking a step back. He wasn’t intimidated by the tall redhead despite the fact that he was sure that he probably had ample reason to be. There was a certain mysterious quality to him that was carefully outlined with a certain measure of involuntary menace that he couldn’t quite place, and his prior comments didn’t help in that regard. There was just something… feral about him, some sort of wild strength that he knew that his guest could reach into if he wished to do so and bring to bear against those he considered deserving of it. It was something that he could just feel in the pit of his stomach, a sort of primordial sense of strength and power that reminded him of his own family, but it was notably different in a way that was hard to describe. Was it darker somehow? Was that the right way to put it? 

But that wondering was enough to keep him grounded in a situation like this. He seemed trustworthy, but he would still keep his guard up until he was absolutely sure, even if he wasn’t actively trying to do so. It was simply instinct, and going with his gut had kept him alive this long, so he was going to continue doing so. If it wasn’t broken, then he wasn’t going to fix it. “Think nothing of it. I take no offense to you stating the obvious. I don’t think that there has been food in this house in at least a decade.”

“Probably longer than that, if I remember correctly. This place has been empty for about fifteen years. After the will was read, Magnolia’s side of the family cleaned the place out as quickly as they could before they went their separate ways. Quite a lot of bad blood between them, from what I could tell. It was a shame how that all played out, but grief brings out the worst in people, especially when the root cause of that grief is so… unexpected.” The man with the long red hair peered out of the back door for a moment as though he were expecting something or perhaps had heard a commotion of some sort. He seemed to study the bushes against the back wall for a long moment before continuing. “As per your request… that is more than fine by me. I won’t, then. I shall pretend that we never mentioned the food in the first place.”

“You say that as though you were personally there to see it. You seem too young to have witnessed something of that nature, but you have first-hand knowledge of it from a viewpoint that would suggest that you were a neutral party witnessing it from within the inner circle of what was going on.” V was admittedly curious as to how Sirrus would explain something like that in a way that made sense. Or would it make sense at all? Who was to say. He would simply have to wait and find out. “I had assumed that we were quite close in age. But then again, everyone knows what they say about assuming things. I should have known better than to think that I know everything about someone that I barely know. My mistake.”

“Looks can be deceiving, as I’m sure you know first hand. Your family is quite literally living proof of that concept. I assure you however that I was present. I just seem younger than…” He stopped, catching himself as though he were about to say something that he didn’t mean to, waiving off both his near mistake and V’s apology casually. V was clever, something that he had pegged about him from the very first moment that they had made eye contact. It was something intrinsic in the way that he held himself, and every time that he had opened his mouth since then had only served to strengthen that notion. But now his keen intellect was becoming troublesome, not that it changed anything in the end either way. ”That quote from before about the harvest… William Blake, if I remember correctly? I’m quite fond of his works, especially the illustrations. Quite the brilliant man.” He stopped for a moment, seemingly considering something before looking over at the doorway. He then nodded quietly to himself before redirecting his attention towards V once more, finding his companion’s silence interesting. He seemed to be waiting for him to continue. “Personally, Mary Shelly is my all-time favorite. Frankenstein and all that. I have a more contemporary favorite as of late, but telling you that might say more about me than I mean for it to, so I’ll keep it to myself for now.

Now V had more questions than answers. Sirrus was a walking mystery, and the more that he spoke, the more V questioned his own perception and his impression of him changed. It was as fascinating as it was confounding, but he couldn’t say that he disliked it. There was just something captivating about not being able to read him, regardless of how hard he tried. A part of him wondered if anyone else in his family had this issue. He would ask them when presented with the chance to do so. Well then, back to what we were discussing before.”

“We were discussing something before? I can’t say that I remember anything. But I do recall you saying to “think nothing of it.” The playfully smug, all-knowing tone of voice that he spoke in was enough to make V shake his head and roll his eyes, but he resisted. It was a welcome juxtaposition to the conversation that they had just indulged in, and they were both somehow simultaneously relieved that they didn’t have to indulge in it any longer.

He couldn’t help but snicker somewhat at that response. Sirrus was endearingly hatstand, wasn’t he? Despite the unintentionally tense conversation that they had just indulged in, the white-haired summoner couldn’t help but be amused. It was complicated, and yet so very simple. “Let’s go to the store, Sirrus. I’ll tell the others that we will return shortly. You may accompany me if you’d like.”

Sirrus nodded politely, using both hands to signal to him that he was to walk first as he bowed lower than what was needed and stepped back out of his companion’s way. V scoffed in amusement but went along with his slightly antiquated gesture, admittedly entertained by it. Yes, this had to be what other people felt like when they met him for the first time. He understood why they looked at him like that now. Slowly but surely, it was all coming together.

(-~-)

From what they could tell, the store was mostly empty. It was nearly 9 o’clock at night, and it seemed that everyone who wanted to buy groceries had done so by then. While it was understandable that most people in the city wouldn’t want to start cooking this late, it was still a little bit surreal to see just how few people were willing to make a midnight dash to the supermarket to stock up on general goods and necessities. One could only imagine that recent events in the region had made people more than a little bit jumpy, but this was an entirely new level of silent unrest that made an already somewhat eerie environment that much more uncomfortable.

As the absentmindedly browsed the shelves in relative silence, V shifted in discomfort. He couldn’t shake the persistent feeling that something simply wasn’t right, and that he should go with his gut and leave this place before something happened. Although it was basically impossible to predict something like that, V was convinced that the persistent feeling of unrecognizable dread that he felt brewing in the very pit of his stomach was something more substantial than he was allowing himself to believe. And under the guise of trying not to seem silently panicked, he couldn’t help but feel a nameless terror overtake him. This feeling that he felt was familiar in the worst way possible. It reminded him of the train ride back in Lucia’s homeland, the strange subconscious sensation that he was no longer in the driver’s seat in regards to his own cognitive feedback. And the idea that his enemy might be trying to do something, anything at all, was not good. He needed to do something fast.

“I apologize if my being around you alone is subconsciously offputting. I get the impression that you are disturbed, and you probably aren’t sure what that is just yet. Let me assure you that it is in fact, me, and that I am not doing so intentionally.” Sirrus casually reached up and took a can down from a shelf, turning it over in his hands absentmindedly as he studied it to see if it was something that he could use. “But the disturbance that you feel is most certainly tangible. I recognized your specific gifts and aptitudes a while back. You have a heightened sensitivity to certain things. Very useful if utilized correctly.” 

He paused for a moment to look at V, seemingly waiting for him to respond in some way. As he realized that his companion wasn’t speaking, he sighed with bated breath, looking slowly from side to side as he checked to make sure that no one was around them. Not that he needed his eyes to do that. It was more for V’s benefit than his own, in any case. “To someone with a trained eye, abilities like that stick out like a sore thumb, especially when the person in possession of them doesn’t yet know how to control them. But that is not to say that you don’t have amazing potential if only someone were to educate you as to how to do deliberately what already comes to you so naturally.”

“Gifts? What are you…” V paused as he considered what he wanted to say next. Sirrus could see something about him that the rest of the people he knew couldn’t? That was alarming to him for reasons that he couldn’t quite place at the moment. Was he that obvious? What else had he been doing that he just hadn’t noticed was a dead giveaway in regards to his true nature? Could anyone else tell, or was that something specific to Sirrus?

“Your grandfather is the Dark Knight Sparda, yes? I couldn’t help but notice your surname. He was a good man. And he was very powerful. I see things in both you and your brother that I do not see in your older relatives.” He seemed to be speaking carefully as he headed to the center aisle in his search for… whatever it was that he was looking for to cook dinner with. He seemed to notice V’s quiet, well-concealed panic, but the atmosphere had changed notably in the air around them. There was a certain latent hostility to V’s demeanor that hadn’t been there before, and for the first time since he’d arrived in town to carry out his mission, he felt genuinely threatened by someone. While he had indeed encountered resistance, nothing so far had felt so pure, so dynamic in its ability to utterly destroy him, and he got the impression that neither V nor himself truly knew what the young man with the white hair was capable of at that moment. And as exhilarating as that might be under most circumstances, this was far from the case at this moment in time. 

It was time to start explaining himself.

“... Sometimes things skip a generation, carried in latent genes by your forebears. This may be one of those cases. That’s what makes me as powerful as I am in some regards. And it is why we have what I like to call Dry Generations; instances in which nothing particularly interesting happens.” The hostility level didn’t decrease much, and Sirrus took a mental note of that, preparing himself should the worst happen. And he hoped with every fiber of his being that it wouldn’t. Something told him that if he had to resort to that, Vergil wouldn’t appreciate him having to explain it after the fact, and the last thing he wanted to have to do was pry Yamato out of his own chest. Vergil had quite the throwing arm. And as fast as he was, he wasn’t sure he was quite that fast. “But when more interesting individuals are born, well, they are most certainly more… intriguing. You and Nero seem to fit that bill nicely.”

“Are you threatening me?” V asked point-blank, his posture slightly more straight than it had been a moment before. Perhaps without thinking it, V had shifted into a readied stance, unwilling to be taken off guard by any kind of sudden attack. Resorting to this kind of public display of power had to be against some code of ethics or something, but he wasn’t going to stand there and take something like that laying down if it came to it. He needed to make that clear, even if Magnolia probably wouldn’t appreciate him bringing Sirrus to her in the middle of the night filled with puncture wounds from Shadow and several broken bones from a trip off of a local roof, courtesy of Griffon. He just hoped that he wouldn’t need to do that. And although he was somewhat sure that he wouldn’t need to, that didn’t change the fact that he might still need to defend himself.

In a moment of self-awareness, Sirrus shook his head, stepping back slightly as he allowed his head to rest on the edge of the center bin that he stood next to. There was some kind of meat inside of it with a sale sign next to it, but that would only become relevant if they made it out of this encounter in one piece. What a fascinating reaction. I would have never thought that he was capable of actually being overtly aggressive considering his physical state and general disposition. He normally has such a mild mentality.” He thought to himself as he let his arms fall to his sides, wanting to demonstrate as clearly as possible that he was not trying to intimidate V or cause him any harm. One could only imagine what he had been through in his young life, and he wasn’t going to add to that pain and suffering if he could help it. 

Maybe it was simply the demon side of him showing itself a little in that moment as a natural defense mechanism? He knew that they were not entirely human, after all, and he had no idea how much demonic blood ran through his veins. It mattered very little if he was being truthful with himself. His pedigree alone ensured that he was powerful, And that was something he could deeply sympathize with on an extremely personal level. He too carried his own darkness locked away deep within himself, even if it was a different form of it. He couldn’t judge him for the one time he slipped up. Hell, he’d give him a hug if he wasn’t so sure it would get him stabbed through the gut with V’s cane.

“Oh, perish the thought. Not even slightly. I wouldn’t dare. Though I do admit that it probably seems that way.” He watched V relax slightly, at least physically, sliding back into the comfortable leaning position that he was accustomed to associating with him. It made him wonder what the young summoner had been through that had made him this way, or if perhaps it was a one-off fluke reaction to this exact situation. Maybe he could ask him another time when he calmed all the way down. It seemed that he had at least a little bit of his father in him after all. “Quite the opposite though. I am extending an invitation. I would like to help you with that. Now, were you thinking fin or fang in regards to protein for this meal? It seems we have simpler choices to make this time around. But something tells me it won’t always be that way. Darkness looms on the horizon, and I have the feeling that something sinister might be readying itself just out of view.”

V gave him an apprehensive look, unsure as to what to really say to that. This entire conversation had certainly changed his outlook on a few things, to say nothing of how it had nearly taken a turn for the worst. He needed ample time to think things through. He was used to being the logical, level-headed one in situations like this. Something about that conversation had severely taken him out of his element, But at least a few of his questions had been answered, even if more now lingered in the back of his mind. And more importantly, there hadn’t been a public display of supernatural violence that could have destroyed both of them and the building along with them. 

Sighing gently as if to physically rid himself of the toxic experience he had just suffered through, V looked at Sirrus, the both of them somehow knowing that the other regretted what had almost just happened even without saying it. It was best to leave things alone for now and just leave this store. Maybe the building itself was driving them both insane. “Fang.”

(-~-)

Gosh, writing this chapter makes me want to work on the story that I’ve been wanting to write for so long now. But not yet! I don’t pick projects up easily after I walk away from them, so for now, I will wait. There is still much to be done with this AU, but gosh writing Sirrus gets me in the mood for that. Let’s just say he doesn’t originate from this AU universe.

Here is the link to the form! It’s only 4 questions and should take about two minutes to answer. Thank you! You’re a big help to me. I want it to be clear that I’m not making anything from this fic, I just want to do something neat for charity and give you something cool in return.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1jD0AKYiX3EfLjt-M_Rk8CapJ0GdzVqB-9oDMhV3SG2A/edit?usp=sharing

Sorry for my rambling this week! I’m just excited, I guess! Also, a special thank you to the like 2 people on Tumblr that like my chapters every week. I like your energy =^~^=

[eeveemasters]

hey, all you lovely people!  full disclosure i talk a lot and i have thought about this character thoroughly when you look under that read more... oh boy... just a heads up. anywho... guess i’m the last here i see, well, that’s typical. I’m late to literally everything, although this time I do have a good excuse. i’d tell you what it is but you don’t really wanna read about me gettin’ it in all weekend and drew is my bro -like literally. we share blood. we came outta the same womb. 26 hours of labor. 19 minutes apart. our poor mother-  so he def doesn’t wanna read about it and that is a swill of information about me before ya even know my name which says a lot, doesn’t it? inst-y-ways, I’m maddie and I’m Jewish, you’ll figure out why i’m putting that out there now. also hello again. i hope y’all are ready to get this party started, cause this is where it’s at! look below & hit that read more and I will tell you all about my baby girl, Eevee.

TW: DEATH, DEPRESSION, STALKER, MURDER, KIDNAPPING

★ ━  ( candice patton,   cis-female,   she/her )  ━ ★   just to be clear, ya didn’t get this information from me.   The person you’re lookin’ for is     EVELYN LUCIA MASTERS.   also known as     EEVEE.    Last I heard she was born on   APRIL 7TH, 1988    in    SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS,   but she’s been livin’ in   RICHMOND,    for about    EIGHT MONTHS.    Word around the districts is, this doll,    EEVEE  can be    VENGEFUL,   SELF-RIGHTEOUS,   &    A KNOW-IT-ALL,   but i gotta tell, ya, alls I seen is good things, like the fact that she’s   RESILIENT,   CHARISMATIC,    &     ENERGETIC.   I guess that depends on how well ya know ‘em, though.   the last thing ya need to know is that she works as an   A-LIST ACTRESS  &  CO-OWNER OF EXCALIBUR COMICS.  I don’t know much about what that’s all about but I do know that’s all I can tell ya the rest you gotta find out on ya, own.  ━     ( ooc:  maddie,   pst,   28,   she/her ) 

Evelyn Lucia Masters.

the irony of her name is that it means “wished for child”

she was definitely not.

hence why she goes by... 

Eevee. 

Yes, like the Pokemon.

No, it’s not a stage name or a gimmick.

She legally changed her name.

It’s on her credit card. ( so are kittens! )  

Born in San Antonio Texas.

Jewish, Bisexual & Very Proud.

Collette Rivers

Her mother.

One of the first and few Black, Soap Opera stars.

Had a wildly popular sitcom for a hot minute.

Career was on fire in the 80′s & 90′s.

Transitioned to clothing designer and eventually a reality tv real housewife when she couldn’t get jobs anymore.

Joseph Masters.

Her Father.

a former actor

was very well known for CSI.

was on broadway.

became a sought after director.

it’s a whole family in the biz, so of course...

@ two years of age, Eevee became an Actress™

baby diaper commercials with her mom.

then singing lessons.

then dance lessons.

then pageants.

more commercials.

a bit of child modeling.

more commercials.

reoccurring kid on sesame street.

then a reoccurring (but not staring) role on Gullah Gullah Island.

1998. She’s 10.

lands a role on Broadway opposite Leon Thomas III as Nala in The Lion King. 

this is the jumping-off point of her career. where it really shot off

but ignoring that for a minute...

Eevee has 5 other siblings.

4 of them are alive.

when Eevee was 15 she’d just gotten season 1st ( and eventually only ) season of her Disney show renewed and she had a stalker. on her 16th birthday, the stalker snuck into her sweet 16, cornered her when she and her older, brother Elias were alone, stabbed Elias, and kidnapped Eevee. Elias was rushed to the hospital when they found him but died shortly after.  They found Eevee, recovered her from the stalker unharmed, but when she asked about Elias... shortly after Eevee sunk deeper into her depression, and also suffered from survivors’ guilt and eventually had to stay in a mental hospital and was released a year later, a few days after her 17th birthday. being in the real world was hard for her and in a few weeks time, became legally emancipated from her parents because her father had taken control of monitoring her finances, her decisions, and became too controlling of her schedule and time out of his concern for her and her mother acted like none of it happened and expected Eevee to pick up where she left off and to get more jobs and keep working. It was an environment detrimental to her health and sanity so she had to get out of that and got her own place and moved away from her parents and unfortunately, her twin sister and younger brother.

Took a break from acting to finish high school.

had to have private tutors

excelled at the school aspect of her life.

had very few friends but she did have a girlfriend.

eventually, Eevee broke up with her

to seize her 5 minutes of fame she outted Eevee as a lesbian to TMZ.

It didn’t take long for Eevee to speak out.

At 17, in 2005, Eevee came out publically as Bisexual.

as a Black 17-year-old girl she was proud of herself.

but it did not go well for her in the media or in magazines.

didn’t help what little career she had left.

but she also kinda didn’t care

Became known for outspoken activism for LGBTQ+ youth.

Started her own charity and outreach program to finance and help struggling youth in the LGBTQ+ community by providing them with shelter, food, and treatment for health issues both mental and physical.  

went to college...

Northwestern State University.

joined the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority

double-majored in theater and business

got married to one of her best friends at one point to help him out with his financial situation.

graduated with degrees. 

and real friends in and out of her sorority.

WORKED HER ASS OFF TO GET HER CAREER BACK ON TRACK.

it took a lot of hard work.

a lot of mediocre jobs.

a lot of auditions. 

a lot of shmoozing & playing the long game.

she pulled every single string

cashed every single favor

ate a lot of shit.

including going to her mother whom she hadn’t spoken to in six years.

EVENTUALLY ROSE BACK TO THE A-LIST WITH A VENGENCE.

Several Independent Films.

Supporting roles in TV shows.

Supporting roles in a few movies.

Starring roles in a number of pilots that never got greenlit.

Starring roles in 2 tv shows. 

one was canceled the first season.

the other had THREE SEASONS.

won an Emmy

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

landed a few ad campaigns

Eevee went back to Broadway a few times over the years.

Bring It On: The Musical

played Danielle

won a tony

Best Featured Actress in a Musical.

Newsies: The Musical

played Katherine.

dream come true.

Hadestown

played Eurydice.

nominated for a Tony.

The Lion King

played adult Nala.

life coming full circle.

Currently stars in her own Netflix show. 

season 2 just finished filming which is why she has moved to Portland.

PERSONALITY:

very much a complete dork. loves video games, loves comic books, has a lot of memorabilia all through her house, it’s practically a dork museum, always telling puns. always joking. always been an adorable ray of sunshine. she really likes to be a light and enforce positivity for her friends and others.

talks far too much for her own good especially when she’s nervous.

very kind, generous, and loving, always willing to help a friend.

always willing to cook for someone as a way to comfort them. She’s a well-versed home chef and an excellent baker.

she’s in-between the vodka aunt and the mom friend. she’s the first to suggest doing shots and getting fucked up, but she’ll also make sure everyone’s okay and be responsible.

She’s that friend who if you fuck with one of her friends in any way she will go into protective mamma bear mode and straight-up end that person for you. if you need someone to back you up in a fight, literally, and have your back she is your girl.

she isn’t great at flirting or really being around anyone she finds attractive, she turns into a rambling, nonstop talking, pile of adorable.

up until the end of December last year, she was a virgin. She’s only ever slept with one person so she’s not really the sleep around kind of girl but respects those who do, you do you boo, but also please don’t mistake her for a relationship type girl either. she’s neither. she’s great at fooling around and hookups that usually stop before they get to the sex part. she’s actually just very awkward when it comes to intimacy and feelings and getting close to people in that way. It fucks with her anxiety so she just needs someone who can get her out of her head and that is very hard to find for her.

She’s a feminist and believes women should be there to support each other, but also is aware that feminism isn’t always equal and some women don’t include her as a woman to support because she is a woman of color and because she’s Black and will call someone out on their white feminist or anti-black bullshit.

she’s kind but is in no way a pushover. she’s very opinionated and steadfast and isn’t afraid to reason with someone and argue with them and stand up for herself.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS:

Friends: people who can put up with her non-stop chatter and find it endearing.

Fake Friends: people who are using her for fame, recognition and what her name can do for them.

Crushes: could be one-sided, could be both-sided, let’s talk about it.

Boxing Friendship: sparing partners, or someone who sees her at the boxing gym in her workout outfits that include but is not limited to color-coordinated custom gloves, that match both her outfit, her shoes, her gym bag and the giant cheerleading bow on the top of her high ponytail,  but has never actually stuck around to see her box so don’t believe she can throw an actual punch because they can’t take that seriously, because she’s just a pretty little celebrity what can she actually do, but then one day end up in an argument with her and challenge her to a sparring match and to their surprise kicks their ass and they become sparring partners. I don’t know, clearly I haven’t given that plot much thought.

Step-family member: Eevee doesn’t have a relationship with her mom, but she is aware the woman got married to another woman who has kids when Eevee was 19 or so. She’s never met any of them. Never spoken to any of them. Never been invited to family functions. Knows full well they exist and they know full well she exists and they have actually hung out with other members of her family, just not her. So that sounds like awkward and traumatic fun for all involved right?? Bring the angst.

Fellow Actors: They could be real friends, could be fake friends, could have worked together, could just know of each other, could be a publicity friendship, dude, I don’t know.

Fans / Haters: like her work or don’t like her work???????????? I don’t know I’m just throwing stuff out there at this point.

I don’t know we’ll figure something out, I AM PUMPED AND EXCITED!!

[thebadeepieflock-blog]

Things most pet shops don’t tell you about parrots.

Parrots make wonderful pets, that is very true. Treated right, they can be loving, sweet, affectionate little babies who never fully grow up it seems. They'll always be happy to see you come home, excitedly wait for your time together and provide you with a loving, long term companion for 30+ years with some species. HOWEVER, there is a lot more to all the wonderful feathered love than just the positive. I have 6 wonderful parrots myself. Lucia, my soon to be 8 year old sun conure, Yamato, my 9 year old quaker parrot, Nero, my 1 1/2 year old yellow sided green cheek conure, Virginia, my year old love bird, Cassandra, my 1 1/2 year old cockatiel then there's Mango, my fiance's 2 1/2 year old lovebird. Though they vary in age, have been cared for the same way yet they have VERY different personalities, quirks and troubles. In this post I will share with you some of the things you may face that pet shops don't warn you about and only experience can really teach, but hey, knowing about these things ahead of time never hurts when it comes to preparing yourself. Keep in mind, there is no way I can cover everything but I can at least cover some things. Also, you'll only see Lucia and Yamato mentioned in this post as I only had those two at the time I originally typed this. --Poop issues: We all know birds poop just like any animal but what you may not know is that some parrots don't just stand on a perch and do their business, oh no, some have some very particular habits attached to this common bodily function. Things I have noticed are varied and each bird's habits can be very different. Lucia has a habit of holding it in when she sleeps or if she's perched on my shoulder. I never taught her this, I was more than willing to accept the fact that poop happens when you have a bird and, sometimes, it happens on you. Well, this little conure  will hold in her dumps for a while and then, when she can't hold it anymore, out comes this massive, two tablespoons sized dropping, or what I call her megaton sh**. When she's on me I'll bring her to her cage once in a while so she can poop without holding it however, it's when she first wakes up in the morning that it can be an issue. If you take her out before she's taken that morning poop, well, she's going to try to get it out before she gets on your shoulder. The unfortunate side effect of this habit of hers, however, is that the massive morning poo sometimes ends up splattered on the floor, and trust me, that thing splatters, or, as my fiance' was unlucky enough to find out, on your foot. Lucia has had this habit for a long while, she first started doing it at about 4 months and never stopped so, for me, it's no longer a surprise, for others however, well, the poop meets foot occurrence says it all. My answer to this problem? She doesn't come right out of her cage in the morning, I give her ten minutes to do what she has to do THEN I take her out. Then there's Yamato. You've heard of parrots tossing seeds out their cage? Well Yama (Short name for him) poops out his cage. I've tried to stop him from doing it but now he'll just wait until my back is turned and do it anyways. He will literally cling to the side of his cage, push his butt against it and poop right out the side of his cage. Only way to take care of that is by cleaning around his cage with a wet mop, thankfully the one we have cuts through his poo pretty well. These are the two quirks Ive encountered personally but I've heard of parrots using a single toy as a toilet, pooping in their water or food dish all the time (That isn't common, most parrots like their food dish clean, water dish, it's hit and miss) and even parrots who try to eat or play with their poop (Normally a sign of a health issue, if your parrot does that get them to the vet). So yea, poop habits can be an issue depending on the parrot. --Seed and veggies everywhere! The old throwing food all over habit. In my household, thankfully, only one of my feathered babies causes that huge food mess. Yamato keeps his food pretty contained, a shell will fly out the cage from time to time but overall he's neat with his digging through his food dish. However, the big culprit of the food mess all over is Lucia. She will rummage through her dish violently and throw food all over the place, push it through the bars of her cage and purposely drop it on the floor and even fling it at people just because it amuses her. Your best bet to take care of this issue is a good vacuum (I suggest a shop/wet vac) with a hose. You can try those cage skirts to keep the food in the cage, you can try deep food dishes but if a parrot wants that food to go on the floor, it's going on that floor one way or another. You can try to train them out of it but, depending on the parrot, they'll just wait until you're not looking then fling a seed at the back of your head like Lucia's done to me after trying to teach her to not make the food mess. Gotta know how to pick your battles. --Om Nom EVERYTHING! Here it's Yamato who's the little saint bird. Lucia, however, will chew ANYTHING! Can her beak grasp it? It's getting chewed. Is it shiny? It's getting chewed. Is it near her? It's getting chewed. Let me tell you, when a parrot chews something, they can totally destroy it. Due to it she has a large number of chewing toys in her cage, which don't last long, so she can get it out her system before she gets a hold of things outside the cage. It doesn't always work. Only way to deal with this issue is to watch any parrot outside of the cage and, if they start to chew on something, stop them and tell them no. Over time they will associate the word no with you stopping them from chewing on something. The way I've found to stop Lucia when she chews on something is to get my hand between her and what she's chewing and push her away from it. She doesn't like that but it doesn't hurt her so she associates the discomfort of being pushed back with being told no and will stop chewing on something when I tell her no to avoid that uncomfortable push back. . .most of the time. She does have her own will and sometimes she really wants at something just a no won't stop her so I have to push her back again. --Biting and beaking Every bird bites, no matter how tame, how sweet and how gentle, every bird is, sooner or later going to give someone a bite. However, there are warning bites and bites that mean business. Most gentle birds never get beyond a warning bite, an uncomfortable, skin denting message that can cause some blood to be drawn but is never anything serious. When a bird does this they are giving you a very clear warning, either they are scared, you did something they didn't like, you hurt them a bit but not too serious, you're in their territory and they want you out of it or they're just in a cranky mood. You can minimize the occurrence of this kind of bite but you can never truly train any bird out of it. Most of the bites that come from parrots are this kind of bite, trust me, that beak can do a lot more damage than what the parrot has chosen to inflict. Then there's the serious bites. You WILL know if a parrot delivers one of these because you will have to go get stitched up by a doctor, they can and often do go to the bone with these major bites and some parrots have been known to right out break smaller bones. I have only ever experienced one serious bite in my 17 years of keeping birds of many different types and that bite came not from one of my birds but from one I was fostering. The one that gave me that bad bite was a sulfur crested cockatoo and, apparently, dyeing my hair made me look like someone who had abused her. She was fine with me then I dyed my hair a different color and got a serious bite that went right to the bone. I avoided stitches because she only got me with the tip of the beak and not a side which would have caused a longer puncture so I just had to keep my thumb well bandaged for about two weeks while it healed. These serious bites are very rare with what most call tamed birds, the ones you can handle but, like what happened with that foster, they can occur, doesn't mean they ever will but it is a risk you must accept. With Lucia and Yamato, surprisingly, Lucia is the only one who has given someone a serious bite. She didn't truly bite me but she has really bitten two others. It's rare for her to seriously bite anyone, most people she likes but those two shared a personality trait she didn't like: They were higher energy and somewhat louder than average young males. Just a type of person she doesn't like it seems. She's also a lot fonder of women than she is of men with me being the only exception, any other guy that comes near her I warn because they are at a much higher risk of getting a bad bite. Yamato has never given anyone a serious bite but he gives warning bites to anyone and everyone for any reason under the sun, even just because he wants to before laughing at their reaction to the pinch. So yea, bites will happen, they may be common or they may be rare but if you have a parrot, sooner or later you're going to get some kind of bite. Thankfully most parrot lovers never experience anything worse than a warning bite from their feathered family member but that doesn't mean it can't happen. Then there's what's called beaking. This is when a parrot will right out grab your finger, beak around it with a little pressure and use it to keep themselves stable as they step onto your hand. So many people mistake beaking for a bite because it isn't the most comfortable thing and can hurt a little but it doesn't really cause any blood unless the beak is way, WAY too sharp. This is just how a parrot keeps themselves stable on a moving, unstable surface like your hand. Some parrots also beak you when they're playing, Lucia does this to me all the time because she likes to "wrestle" with my hand where she grabs my fingers, rolls onto her back and tries to keep my fingers in her grasp as I try to squirm them free. It's a fun game for her but leaves my fingers a bit sore. But it's worth it to play with her. Any parrot owner must get use to beaking and learn to tell it apart from warning bites because beaking will happen and it will happen commonly. Too many good parrots get the label of "Biter" because the humans don't know the difference between the two. --Scream and Screech Most people have heard it before but I will say it again: Parrots can be very, very loud. Every parrot and most birds in general will get especially loud during certain times of the day called "flock call times". This is when they call out to the other members of their flock, human or otherwise, and listen for a reply to make sure all members of their flock are alright. If they don't get a reply many of them will get even louder. I have made it a habit to go into the room when they start to flock call so they know I'm alright and I'm showing them I'm checking to be sure they are alright. You can't avoid the noise, you can teach a parrot not to scream so much but it is still going to happen. Just get use to it, it's natural for them and it's how they talk. Also, don't yell back at them, yelling makes them scream louder and get into contests to show you who can be the loudest, not something that's going to help you get back comfortable noise levels in your house. Also, don't cater to their screaming. It'll teach them that screaming lets them get what they want and that is not a habit you want them to get into. Flock call time is one thing in the morning and evening, that's going to happen anyways but other times the best thing you can do is either not respond to the screaming or calmly talk to them. Parrots will scream to alert you to a danger or problem so checking on them isn't a bad idea just make sure not to treat them in any way for that screaming. --Parrots are very sensitive I'm not talking emotionally here, though some are emotionally sensitive too. I'm talking about sensitivity to their environment. Fumes, high levels of smoke, nail products, hair products, air fresheners, non-stick cook ware, scented candles, cleaning products, body spray, anything that puts particles into the air is a risk for feathered family members. I am a former smoker myself and I always tried to keep my smoke away from my baby birds back when I smoked. I would not smoke when they are on me, I would not smoke in the room that I keep them in at the time (the living room) all that. We use natural cleaning products for the safety of the birds, body spray is used in a different room well away from them that gets aired out somewhat commonly, we are careful with our cookware and air out the kitchen when we use it. We do many small things like that which help keep the baby birds safe. Then there's natural factors, like temperature and drafts. You do not want to put a parrot near a drafty window or door because they will get sick very easily. The reason for this is due to a need for pretty stable temperatures. Rapidly fluctuating temperatures will weaken a parrot's immune system dangerously and very quickly. Try your best to keep the temperature as steady as you can in the home, they are comfy in the same temperature range as you are. If it is too warm or cold for you then it is too warm or cold for them but unlike you who will likely be alright with a little chill or sweating your parrot could easily get sick from it. --MINE! Parrots can be possessive. Some get aggressive when someone comes near their favorite thing or person, others are just watchful to make sure said thing or person isn't hurt or taken from them. It varies by parrot personality. Those that get aggressively possessive normally do require some attitude adjustment and the only way to do that is to be willing to chance a few bites to show them that, no, you AREN'T going to stay away from something or someone just because they claimed it. I had this issue with Yamato and his cage. Oh he use to hate me putting my hand in his cage no matter if he was in it or not and he would lunge at me to the point of flying over to make his point clear with that beak. What did I do when he did this? I would put my hand right in his cage anyways, setting it right on his perch and just dare him to bite me. Trust me, I got a few nips from him doing this and he got scorned for each and every warning bite but eventually he realized he wasn't going to win that battle. Now I can reach right into his cage and pet him while he's in there without too much trouble unless he's in a bad mood but with Yamato, bad moods happen. The key to breaking those aggressive habit of possession is to go near and touch what or who they're possessive of anyways. The reason why is because parrots will try to show some dominance, especially parrots with flock leader personalities like Yamato has. If you let into these habits they will think that they have more power in the flock than you do (And trust me, they DO see you as a flock member) and they will keep doing things like that and not listen to you. You have to show them that you are the flock leader, not them. This is done by pretty much right out defying any attempt at authority that the parrot shows to you. They will nip and sometimes right out bite you in a last attempt to make you do what they want but when you still defy them, most of the time they will back down. That brings me to my next point. --It's still a flock to them You may not have flight or feathers but, to any parrot you live with, you are a flock member. Even if they don't like you, you are still a flock member and, for a parrot, that's family. Most people don't realize that the chain of command for a flock does exist but it is different for different types of birds. I've had two sun conures and known others with them, sun conures tend to have a very lax chain of command in the flock where they all have pretty much equal say. Because of this you don't often find a sun conure with a huge flock leader ego though it can happen it really isn't common. I've also dealt with a few other types of parrots, cockatiels, who have a slightly stricter but not too strict flock chain of command, black capped conures who, like the sun conure, have a very lax chain of command, etc. However I did not know that quaker parrots have a rather strict chain of command when I got Yamato. More so, I had no idea Yamato was going to grow up to have a flock leader personality meaning he is constantly challenging me for the place of head honcho in the house. He's already made the lady of the house back down from him so needless to say he sees himself as higher on the chain of command than she is and that won't change until she stops being scared of this little three and a half ounce bird. Sure she is fine when he's in his cage and can't get her but the moment he is out that cage and looks like he may bite she gets jumpy. I am constantly getting nipped and lunged at by Yamato for any and every reason because he thinks he'll finally make me back down, then he finds out it just makes me grasp his beak so he can't bite at all and he gets a stern talking to. Much of his aggression comes from him having that flock leader ego problem, once he's reminded of his place in the flock though he settles down and starts acting sweet again, at least for a month or so. Most flock leader personality parrots end up being rehomed many times, they tend to be the parrots that you just can't get to stop biting no matter what you try. If you end up getting a flock leader you have to approach them differently. They can be sweet, loving parrots, they just have a bit of an ego issue and need to be reminded that they aren't the head of your roost from time to time. Yamato loves to clean me and get kisses and rubbed behind the head when he's not trying to challenge me for leadership and, if I'm sick, he instantly gets protective of me and more attentive because I'm still a member of his flock so yes, the flock leader ego birds can be great feathered babies, you just have to learn how to handle them. Due to parrots having this flock mentality you don't just have to worry about the rare flock leader ego bird, if something happens to you they will worry and if they lose you they will be crushed. Naturally their flocks are larger normally but in a home setting those flocks tend to be much smaller so they get much, MUCH more attached to their flock members. You can't ignore them, they need your attention so they don't get lonely and they need to know you're alright or else they will get worried and a worried parrot can stop eating and, if it goes on too long, start plucking themselves. A lot of people think just getting them a companion, another parrot, will help with that but that isn't always the case. Another feathered friend can help their loneliness even if in different cages but it won't stop them from worrying about you. All the more reason to take care of yourself for your flock's sake. --Those wings aren't just for decoration Do not keep your parrot in the cage all the time, it is not healthy for them mentally or physically. Those wings need to be used even if they are clipped (I personally am against wing clipping but I can understand the need in some situations) because it gets the blood pumping and keeps your parrot in shape. Flying is good for their health, strengthens their heart and respiratory system, stops them from getting overweight and is really good for their mood. Even if their wings are clipped just having the space to flap them is good for every parrot. Yamato loves to fly and I'll tell you, when he takes off he's like a little green bullet. I actually can't keep visual track of him when he's flying around the house due to my extremely low vision but I can hear him and hear how fast he's moving. One moment he'll be close enough to see just a green blur of next moment I see nothing but hear those wings all the way across the room. Birds love to fly most of the time, it's just in their nature. Also, those worried about my ability to keep track of Yamato when he's flying due to my vision, don't be concerned, I always have someone who's fully sighted in the room with us when Yamato is out of his cage so they can keep visual track of him while I listen for where he is so he's well watched after. Lucia, however, flies with all the grace of a drunken paper airplane. She's a very awkward flier which is odd for a sun conure. The reason why, however, is because her breeder was a dumbass who clipped her wings too short and damaged the cuticle where her flight feathers grow from. Her breeder also did a number of other stupid things including force weaning, machine feeding too hot of a food which caused Lucia to have crop burn and selling them too young. That breeder has since been shut down, I saw to that when I found out how bad of shape Lucia was in when I got her and got in contact with every organization and animal protection branch I could to get the guy investigated so there's one less horrid breeder out there. Due to her wings having been clipped wrong as a chick, however, Lucia's flight feathers will never grow in right even though she has still learned how to fly despite this. She may be a slow flier and prefer to walk and be carried because of it but we do encourage her to fly for the physical benefits. We just have to be careful with her because she is a special needs parrot due to what happened when she was a chick. (Footnote: Those wondering why I'm against wing clipping, it's because flight is a parrot's natural defense. Taking that from them can raise their anxiety levels unhealthily and can make a parrot very, very jumpy knowing that, if something happens they can't escape under their own power. Also, improper clipping can cause many issues such as cuticle damage, which happened to Lucia, and cutting the flight feathers too short making any fall a dangerous one. Even though I have a parrot (Yamato) who is a flight risk I won't clip their wings, instead I take greater responsibility and make sure they can't escape through a door or window or anything like that by being sure those exits are not opened while they are out. A little extra personal responsibility can go a long way to keep even a flight risk parrot safe. That said, I can understand for those who have kids which can open the door without warning why clipping wings can be a logical option for you but make sure it's done right and the parrot can still lighten their fall just in case. Also, if you do clip wings make sure any other pets are not able to get near your parrot when they are out, as I said, clipping the wings takes away their greatest defense and I HAVE heard of people who's sweet dog that had never shown aggression to their parrot or any other animal or person before decided to just take their beloved bird out with one bite and no warning.) --Bird Brain isn't as much of an insult as you may have thought Parrots can be extremely clever and can have a huge personality in those little bodies. Some birds take sport in trying to outsmart their human flock members, my little Yamato is one of them. This tends to be more of an amusing quirk than a bothersome one most of the time but there are some times when it can spell trouble, especially if your parrot's version of the game is to be a little escape artist. We had this issue with Yamato for a little while. No matter the type of lock or how we secured it this little green bird would find a way out and come right to us all proud of himself for it. It was cute but we knew it was also dangerous. Our answer to this issue was a spring loaded latch style cage, one that takes us some effort to open this way, even though Yamato knows how the latch works he just doesn't have the strength in that little three and a half ounce body to work the darned thing, doesn't mean he doesn't still try from time to time but we know he can't open it if it takes us some strength to lift that latch. You can get the most complex latch possible which may just be more fun for them to undo but it normally takes something they just can't physically operate to stop the escape artist in their tracks. They will also use those clever little brains to figure out how to get what they want, be it by manipulating you or by distracting you so they can just grab it. Yamato once teamed up with another pet to get my ex-boyfriend, and still good friend's, hot dog bun and succeeded. Lucia has been known to wait patiently until you turn your head to steal something from your plate or hand even though she showed no interest in it before thus giving you no reason to feel like you had to guard it. They also wise up to tricks you use to get them to do what you want. Sometimes they will start training YOU and it is your job to recognize this when it happens. Sometimes it's really harmless and amusing antics but once in a while it can become a bit of a problem. As the human and, hopefully, flock leader, it's your job to recognize when it is a problem and address it. Then again sometimes their cleverness, like dismantling a toy and begging you to put it back together, can be pretty endearing. That little game is akin to to when you give them a problem, like a hard shelled nut or foraging toy, and they have to figure out the solution. You putting the toy back together is the same thing. --Watch what they eat I won't post a full list in this post but there are some things parrots really shouldn't have. Avocados are the big one, they are very toxic to parrots and even tiny amounts can kill! A bite of avocado to a parrot is like a swig of pure arsenic to a human so keep them away from avocados at all costs. I personally love avocados but I never, NEVER have my babies out when I eat it, I store it in a bag in a separate area of the fridge from their veggies and I clean my lips, rinse out my mouth and clean my hands to the point they get a bit red after eating any avocado just to keep them safe. They should also be kept away from chocolate, dairy (Some parrots have a tiny bit of cheese from time to time but it has to be a very small amount and very rarely) non-fruit sugars, seasonings and a number of other things. I just wanted to make sure to warn about avocados because that is perhaps one of the biggest food danger to any parrot. ----------- These are just some of the little things pet shops don't warn you about when you take home a parrot but hopefully these little tips and warnings will help you decide if a parrot is a good match for you and, if you already have a parrot and are at a loss maybe it'll help you to know you are not alone in both the good and the bad. These little feathered babies are great, loving pets if treated right. Got questions? Even if silly or you think it's stupid, ask away. You would be surprised how many seemingly unimportant things can actually be pretty significant in the end. Even if the question is just out of pure curiosity.        

[nicolebrewerwrites]

JANUARY READING: BOOKS AND THE SHORT STORY PROJECT

They say it takes three weeks to make a habit, so if good for literally nothing else, 2017 has so far helped me create a habit of reading more during the day. I read 31 stories, pretty consistently one per day with a couple of days where I needed to catch up and read two or three. I also read The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell and The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, and started Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates and also The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner.

I also rediscovered the library, to my absolute wonder and delight. I have discovered the joy of borrowing ebooks. (Which is how I’m finally reading Coates’s book, as well as A Manual for Cleaning Women, which seems to be sold out everywhere.)

ALSO I started a Goodreads account. If you don’t have one, do it. Almost literally the best bookish thing, except that it’s owned by Amazon, but, you know. It happens, I guess.

For nobody’s benefit other than my own, this month I’ve nailed down my own personal five-star rating system for both stories and books. I figured if I’m reading 365 short stories this year I should probably rate them as I go so I can recommend or go back to my favourites. In a few paragraphs I’ll get into a summary of January’s 4- and 5-star highlights. 5 stars means it’s excellent writing, an original concept or a concept presented originally, and also just appeals to my personal tastes. 4 stars means it appeals less to my personal tastes but is still subjectively and objectively and excellent story or book. There are a lot of three-starred stories so far, because basically everything from “I liked it, sure” to “I didn’t like that at all, but the writing was solid and I can see why someone else might like it.” 2- and 1-star ratings mean I felt there was something missing in the craft of the writing, or I felt there was something aggressively bad about the content or characters.

The Bone Clocks was fucking fantastic. I’ll probably never get the chance to recommend it, just like I never get to recommend Cloud Atlas, but it was a thrill to read from start to finish and the best book with which to begin my 2017 reading quest.

THE STORIES (4- and 5-star January highlights)

I was reading stories this month from a mix of recommendations and back issues of magazines I’ve purchased and never read. Some publications that appeared multiple times with great stories were Taddle Creek issue 31, Little Brother issue 4, TOK 5 from Disapora Dialogues, and Lucia Berlin’s collection of short stories A Manual for Cleaning Women, which dominated the end of the month and will continue to dominate early February.

“Seal” by Kathryn Kuitenbrouwer: flawless magic realism with the most serious, sombre storytelling for an eerie, fully submersive reading experience.

“In Dreams Begin Responsibilities” by Delmore Schwartz: a sort of hasty storytelling that strings you along while you never fully nail down what’s going on; feels like a bit of a reading adventure.

“Japanese Quartz” by Lauren Kirshner: the first 5-star story of the month for its quirky, direct storytelling, and its strange, unemotional emotional quality. (White Wall Review 38)

“Apoptosis” by Becky Blake: more flawless magic realism, but more delightful--delightfully serious, I guess, at once so light, so airy, with slashes of depth and solemnity.

“Tableau Vivant” by Emma Donoghue: one of those stories where the crystal clarity of the writing is not remarkable in and of itself, but creates an impeccably crafted story wherein you hardly notice the craft.

“A Change of Seasons” by Karishma Krupalani: girl power despite being relatively powerless; fucking delightful.

“Sometimes You Break Their Hearts, Sometimes They Break Yours” by Marie Helene Bertino: alien reports back to its planet on the human condition, but better than I could ever have imagined, in every single way. The second five-star story of the month.

“Ark” by Sofi Papamarko: an aching subtlety to this story, which seems like something else entirely as it gets going, until it closes in like a fist around your chest in its final paragraphs. Five stars.

“Shrinkage” by Millie Ho: the straightforwardness of the story, directly opposed by its complete omission of details regarding the main events, made this a story I enjoyed reading for solidarity, if not necessarily pleasure.

“The Floe” by Jessica Bebenek: just one of those stories that nails a voice so perfectly, a voice you know but haven’t heard before, in an impossible situation you couldn’t possible understand but you do, here, in this story, you do, in your bones, and it hurts. Five stars, and very sad I can’t find it online for you. (Little Brother 4)

“Alternative Scenarios for Lovers” by Szilvia Molnar: delightful format, quirky, quintessentially hip; I am its target audience, and I enjoyed it exactly as you might predict I would. (Little Brother 4)

“Angel’s Laundromat,” “Dr A H Moynihan,” “Stars and Saints,” “A Manual for Cleaning Women,” “El Tim,” “My Jockey,” “Point of View” by Lucia Berlin, from A Manual for Cleaning Women: oh my god just go get this collection and read it immediately. Her writing is so crisp and so unlike anyone, I love her first person narrators, I love how she doesn’t give a shit about you, I love her, I love her, I love her. “Dr. A H Moynihan” is my favourite so far, and I wish I could find it online for you, but they all have either 4 or 5 stars (mostly 5).