#literally being the number one hater of chaos

[mad-hunts]

alright, i have come here to discuss something tonight and that topic is: barton still killing every single police officer that bothers him at the docks (except for jim, but i swear that's just for plot purposes. okay... nah 🫠 it's not lmao BUT moving on) and hating law enforcement in general + vigilantes, BUT with the new added context that he has a partner who he found out is a vigilante? well... i'm just here to say that it makes me think that doing mental gymnastics is just a daily practice for barton at this point LOL

but that's okay, because his vigilante partner is genuinely slay in his eyes + worth it. and thus, anyone who dares try to call him a hypocrite for being with her will be smacked halfway to tuesday so ❤️ (the heart essentially means don't do it JSJSJ ☠️ not to say that i would expect that anyone here would do it OFC though y'all know what i mean (,,: and oh, the mun who portrays the vigilante character that i'm talking about knows who they are tehe MUAH ilyyy)

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator

0 notes

💠 extremegayr Follow

got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward

15 notes

🎛 420zone Follow

ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho

🌫 wispgender Follow

he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr

🎛 420zone Follow

📰 its-no-use Follow

@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk

🌫 wispgender Follow

NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????

🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow

that you know of

🌫 wispgender Follow

what

10,672 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

43,834 notes

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado

🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow

ok and??? you're not special

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY

173 notes

🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo

sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here

568 notes

☸️ r0u3e Follow

being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"

🥭 chao-official

being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

you said it my mans

579,056 notes

🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow

hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus

🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow

dont question him

85,628 notes

☣️ sparkygoboom Follow

hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic

💠 extremegayr Follow

op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history

🎢 marxiobros Follow

someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

what the fuck is a public school

⏭️ drowningmusic Follow

⚄ paradoxprism Follow

are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish

💠 extremegayr Follow

OP'S WHAT NOW

🏞 mobiancrossing Follow

ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea

☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow

bitch that's what the internet is for

🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell

yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds

❇️ freesurge Follow

"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby

🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow

everybody on this site has brain damage

❇️ freesurge Follow

yeah. from the radiation

603,573 notes

🐸 froggysfriend

caught this today

🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers

if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment

950,420 notes

🐊 teamchaotixofficial

Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3

6 notes

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived

❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow

shadow fixed it it's fine

🎮 n0cturnity

yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad

856,301 notes

🗑️ berrybarry

starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006

🗑️ berrybarry

why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this

8 notes

🤡 clownfinite Follow

tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere

587 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

34,452 notes

🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x

so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me

0 notes

🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow

the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"

💟 presidentyaoi Follow

BACK????

69,849 notes

⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow

ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3

2 notes

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!

I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--

🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow

do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

he

WHAT

🍭 milfwisp Follow

didn't eggman invent this site???

🪫 veganswatbot

THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!

Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

YOU

WHAT

🌭 sonicsays

what's not clicking

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : Oki, quick reminder! This is all fiction!! nothing in this ever happened in real life, so don’t hate on the people referenced please!

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 17 | Next >

landonorris

liked by ln4, mclaren, f1, and others

landonorris And thats how you do it 😏. Pole for tomorrow’s race baby!

mclaren back at it again!! thats our driver 💪

ln4 How many poles was this again? 🤔

user1 Ok sir cook!

user2 Get em Lan! close the gap from Max

user3 Yes! this year’s battle is so tight 😮‍💨

user4 I’m so glad Lando is Mclaren’s no. 1 driver

user5 yeah for now

user4 @user5 what do you mean, for now??

user5 Give oscar time, you’ll see

user4 Piastri is literally in P17 while Lando got pole 🤡

user5 you didnt watch the practice sessions did you 🤡

user3 Get the p1 tomorrow Lando!

user4 Y/N fumbled letting Lando go for Oscar…. couldnt be me 🤢

user5 why would you even drag Y/N here? let’s not forget who cheated on who

user6 McLaren worked extra hard to cover that issue…. and we should not make it any easier. Cheaters remain cheating

user4 yeah yeah whatever! Lando stays on top

user6 That smirk was not necessary sir… you literally got the fastest car??

user7 and his teammate got what place in the fastest car? right 17

user8 Lando’s got that team favoritism buff tho

user7 what favoristism?

user6 @/user7 are you blind or stupid? its pretty obvious that Mclaren favors Lando over Oscar

user9 Don’t listen to the haters Lando!!

user10 Ngl I like Lando over Oscar anyday. McLaren should just fire the Australian like they did with Danny ric. Bro is not going anywhere in this team.

Notification: My Osc🧡 replied to your message*

*Incoming call from Manager Kim

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

-Hi, Kim. What’s up?-

-Y/N, your new ep has still charting at number 1 an opportunity opened up and it is HUGE!-

-Like how huge are we talking Kim?-

-HUGE huge, Y/N!!-

-Really? whats the gig and when is it? -

- I need you to fly out here to the states like right now!-

-Woah what? I can’t right now Kim. Oscar crashed and I need to be with him in the race. Everything is in chaos here and I — can’t it just be over the phone? -

- What? are you being serious right now? Y/N this is your career. Are you really choosing a boy over it?! Y/N listen to me. This opportunity comes by once in a life time, don’t waste it -

- Kim… can’t you reschedule the meeting? or something? please? -

- No, Y/N. They want to personally meet you here by tomorrow evening. I swear this is your Lando situation all over again! -

- Excuse me?? what does that even mean? -

- Y/N , you’re reliving your relationship with Lando through Oscar! -

-That’s not fucking true Kim!-

-Really, Y/N?? You’re even starting to give up opportunities for Oscar!! Does that ring any bells for you?? huh?? Remember you gave up that collab with Justin Bieber because your shit of an Ex was insecure and jealous?!! How is this not the same?? You’re doing all of this for what? so that your new boy toy can cheat on you?? Your being delusional again, Y/N. Get it together -

-KIM! You’re being out of line! You have no right to dictate what happens in my personal life. This is my decision to make not yours, and I’ll stand by what ever consequence i’ll face for it-

- Yeah, you’re not the one cleaning shit up, if you aren’t here by tomorrow. I swear Y/N… I’m done with you and your team.-

*beep* *beep* *beep*

-Oscar’s POV-

Notification : Mark sent a message*

Notification: Logan has sent a message to Timtams and Ranch*

Calling: My Dearest 🤍

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

*The number you are calling cannot be reached, please try again later*

Calling: My Dearest 🤍

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

*The number you are calling cannot be reached, please try again later*

Calling: My Dearest🤍

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

*The number you are calling cannot be reached, please try again later*

Calling : My Dearest🤍

*Ring*

-Hello?-

-You had me worried there, dear. Are you busy?-

-Oh, uhm no. No I guess-

-Are you ok, Baby? Is everything alright?-

-Yeah, No. Im ok, just some things to think about for work-

-Ok… if you say so. I’m heading back to our room okay?-

-Yeah. see you later. Bye Osc-

-Thank you for being here and supporting me in everything Y/N… I know it’s not easy for you. I love you-

-I… I love you too Oscar-

f1news

liked by user 1 and user2

f1news after yesterday’s chaotic qualifying. The teams and the grid are only starting to heat up, with McLaren starting the fire. Oscar joining papaya isn’t as heaven sent as everyone thought.

While inside drama is brewing inside McLaren, are other drivers starting to pick sides? Yes they are! While some are neutral, it is obvious who are leaning towards supporting Oscar. The drivers had taken to instagram stories to show just on whose part of the McLaren garage they support.

user1 Chaotic is a way to put it. It was an absolute shitshow.

user2 I guess Mclaren couldn’t handle 2 talented drives at the same time. It’s actually so saddening, especially for Oscar. His team always puts Lando first at EVERYTHING.

user3 I find it hilarious how most of the grid are either on Oscar’s side or just doesn’t care.

user4 Only Carlos is actively still supporting Lando

user5 The dude has beef with Piastri, even before in Osc’s rookie year

user6 Carlos is very protective of Lando I guess

user7 Protective of Lando?? Dude the man is a grown adult! Carlos has beef with Oscar for a whole different thing I’m sure

user8 Everyone let us thank McLaren for the drama in and off track! you’ve made our lives more fun

user9 Ikr? might be torture for the people involved but its so entertaining for us. Lmao sorry Oscar.

user10 Max switching sides from Lando to Oscar is so freaking funny. Max is full out ignoring Lando

user11 Oh what i would give to know the tea behind that

user12 you know what would be iconic? Oscar throws another party

user13 Throw a party and invite all Mclaren then dip before it would even start

user14 ngl that screams Oscar fr

user15 I can’t wait for the race later! it would be carnage on track!!

user16 I’m watching Oscar for sure. Boy looks absolute mad during the qualifying.

skysports live

*paddock , track side*

-Oscar, just do your job and please keep your mouth shut. You’re under probation and comments against the team won’t make it any better-

-Yeah, yeah… why not fire me while you’re at it-

-Hi, Peter! I’ll take it from here… Well hello to you Oscar. How’s it at the back of the grid?-

-Great to see you too Lando. Yeah, it’s alright. It keeps me humble, not that you would know what that means-

-Oh, You’ll be more humble when I win today-

-Sure… not till you bottle turn 1 and lose the lead. Y’know like you always do-

-Lando, Oscar! What are you two doing back here? Oh yes, Oscar is in P17… can’t believe they’re considering you and not me. Tsk waste of a seat-

- Haha funny. Carlos, mate what are you even talking about?-

-That Red Bull seat shouldn’t be offered to you. Ferrari’s 2nd option shouldn’t be you!-

-What Carlos is saying is that you shouldn’t be offered seats or be driving at all, Mate. Honestly your better off back at Alpine. Good fucking riddance for us-

-Yeah, oh please fire me! and I’m not the one being replaced by Hamilton next year.

-Hijo de puta! You have the nerve?! -

-Whoa. Ok let’s all calm down. Oscar come with me-

-Oi! Charles were not done here. Oi!-

-Mate, what the hell??-

-Charles?? where are we going-

-Just keep walking. You cant stay out of trouble can you?-

-They came at me! I was seriously about to go my car. I swear, your teammate hates me. I didn’t do even anything to him-

-He’s loosing his seat, of course he’s pissed-

-Why at me?? Aren’t he supposed to be mad at you or even Lewis?-

-Ok, fine… you didn’t hear this from me. But Lewis’ contract isnt final with Ferrari and you are the next driver option-

-WHAT-

-So RedBull and Ferrari wants you… and Carlos wasnt even in the choices. So yes he’s livid and no he doesn’t like you-

-Oh…-

-Yeah, Oh. So get your act right and drive your ass off today. And maybe I or Max might have a new teammate next year-

*End of Oscar’s POV

Y/N.

liked by y/b/f , alexandrasaintmleux, markwebber, and others

Y/N. Here with you, no matter the goal. Always

tagged @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri No matter the destination. Always

liked by author

mclaren Drop by the garage @y/n. we miss you!

redbullracing she’s with us today 😏

scuderiaferrari We have next dibs! 🤪

user1 why is redbull and ferrari in y/n’s comments??

user1 get married already!

user2 Y/N and Oscar support each other so much 🥺

user3 Wouldn’t be surprised if the two of them would elope or already be married.

user4 Oscar needs all the support right now.

user3 yeah thats sweet and all. But when are we getting the album tho??

user4 let Y/N have fun and take her time.

user5 I’m expecting a breakup and a love album at this point from you ms @y/n.

user6 Mom… Y/N and Oscar are being mysterious again. I’m scared

user7 I’m scared too 🥹

user8 like what goal are they talking about??? gettingg married?? starting a family?? change in careers??

user9 I need answers 🙂‍↕️

Notification: You missed a call from Manager Kim*

Notification: Manager Kim sent you a voice message*

-I see, you’ve made your choice. Don’t regret it. I’m done working with you-

Would you like to call Manager Kim back?

Yes or No

No

*RedBull Racing Motorhome: Lobby

-Hey, Y/N. You ready to go to Max’s garage? -

-Hi, Kel and hello P! yeah lets go-

-You ok, Y/N? is everything alright?-

-Hmm? yeah, yup. I’m ok. Just a lil weird not being in Oscar’s garage. Let’s go to the track! -

-Okay~ If you say so. P, can you hold auntie Y/N’s hand for me please? Mommy has alot to carry -

-Thanks, P! and thank you Kel-

-Yeah, I’m not stupid Y/N. Something is up I know it. But I won’t push you… i’m here if you need me, yeah?-

-Thanks Kel… -

F1

Liked by user1, user2, and user3

F1 And we have our podium drivers!! What a race indeed. 🏆

tagged @maxverstappen1, @charles_leclerc, and @oscarpiastri

user1 HOW IS OSCAR HERE??? P2? WHAT A DRIVE!!

user2 Man drove like a beast! His driving today was insane 🔥

user3 Oscar took yesterday’s qualifying personally 💀

user2 Lando being pole to p6 is just 🤡

user3 and his teammate started at P17 … is P2

user4 I can’t defend the man anymore

user5 Max and Charles really gave Lando a hard time during the first few laps huh

user6 Lando was so agitated in the team radio 😮‍💨

user7 I dont if i want to laugh or cry at Lando’s luck

user8 Charles defending P2 from Oscar was amazing driving, but Oscar was on smth else today!!

user9 Lando bottled the start. Gasp! … anyways.

user10 why aren’t we surprised 💀

user11 Isn’t anyone gonna comment about McLaren ordering Oscar to stand down?? Hello??? what was that?

user12 Not them ordering Oscar not to overtake Lando 🤢

user13 I’m so happy Oscar ignored team orders!

user14 Oscar deserves that driver of the day for sure!! Masterclass driving. He is a future WDC, i’m betting my house!!

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[quidfree]

hear me out…. todobaku as villains???

im going to disappoint you anon bc i am not a like... dark & twisted fantasy villain au person. as per quidfree canon what keeps me going is good characterisation and so you will find no undercut tattoo-laden bad boys here.

if you want my two cents on what todobaku villain au would most likely look like though it's under the cut

todoroki:

this one is easy right? touya exists. shouto already has his villain backstory: his dad is a bigshot hero uplifted by society and also an abusive bastard in private. his motivations in hero-oriented society are obvious.

i think shouto probably distinguishes himself from touya in a number of ways, one of which being style of villainy. touya was a lot more unstable emotionally (?tied to his quirk self-harm stuff) and undiscerning in his resentment (see: woman hater) even before he ran away. i think shouto would be a more classic anti-hero type villain, less quick to cause chaos and death to unrelated civilians or high schoolers. they would have an uneasy relationship if and when shouto figured out who dabi was- i think he would retain his empathy for his siblings and mother, but he would disagree with touya’s choices.

i see him as a loner villain, not likely to join the league. early UA shouto appeared to have literally never spoken to another person in ten years, so if he around that age veered off the expected path and went MIA, i think the whole ice prince thing would solidify pretty definitely. and that’s the kind of personality he’d have too- icy, controlled superiority over a core of red-hot rage. no quips here. though some dramatics. he hides it but shouto always has flair.

shouto is a practical guy first and foremost. i think he’d just wear something similar to his plumber fit. maybe something akin to a balaklava to mask his identity, but maybe not, if he wants to make his father aware of his actions. i do think touya-style he might go for a hairdye, but in his case it’d probably be bleach, as a sort of obvious reclaiming of rei’s heritage and rejection of enji’s.

overall as villains go if we are keeping to a world close to canon shouto is probably one of the more morally upright people you will encounter. very scary motherfucker but pretty targeted enemies, so unless you’re involved in maintaining the hero justice system at some pivotal level you’re probably safe. if you are though? rip i guess. prepare to have your home frozen, your limbs stuck to the ground, and an icepick summarily driven through your skull by a teenager.

bakugou

katsuki is tough because for him it very much depends on setting, and at a basic level when you’re looking at. katsuki fundamentally is not a fuck the system guy- he’s a guy the system loves, and he’s interested in winning it, not destroying it, at least until character development kicks his ass. so really if you want to go early canon for both of them, villain bakugou is just hero bakugou. a katsuki from the start of bnha left to continue on his presumed arc uninterrupted, no deku or kidnapping or war to force him to question himself. arrogant and cruel and uncaring of what heroism is meant to be about. saving big numbers, sure, or at least defeating big ones, but when your defeats involve death or as good as, hard to draw the line.

similarly, in a universe where for some reason heroes have lost their relevance and villains reign, teen katsuki would have very easily risen in that direction, with similar traits.

who would his targets be? whoever’s in his way, pretty much. even in a more anti-hero slant, villain’s goons would not be safe. and anyone who tried to recruit / hire / ally him would inevitably face some kind of betrayal bc katsuki simply got sick of orders and believes he can handle the fall-out.

in terms of looks, katsuki is more style conscious than shouto is, but as lord explosion murder doesn’t necessarily look very heroic i think he wouldn’t look that different. maybe more of the black and winter-suit vibes.

for as insufferable as he would be, he would also be horrifying, yes. i mean, the guy is a starter kit terrorist. even if he was in tantrum ego mode he could level a street. collateral would be nasty if katsuki didn’t care to contain himself.

todobaku villain interaction ???

if we’re going with the above sort of setting? would not stand each other. for bakugou it’s obvious stuff (think sports fest and general canon), but todoroki genuinely would not tolerate villain bakugou at all, given the obvious alarm bells of similarity to endeavor. it’s not his focus but if bakugou died he would not be displeased.

as in any universe they could be begrudgingly forced into cooperation and then be privately disgusted by how well they worked together after the initial predictable faux pas. all of their other villain colleagues are like “can’t we just call that guy in for an assist again” and theyre like *breathing exercises* no.

they are both despite appearances and villainy-amplified dramatics fairly pragmatic so theyd probably not actively seek to cross each other unless they seemed to be getting in the way of their respective goals. they can recognise that this would be getting into it w an unnecessarily big distraction/threat. but i can imagine the “keep out of this” warnings would be fairly inventive. todoroki negligently thwarts one of bakugou’s plots and bakugou turns his entire hideout to rubble. a bunch of todoroki’s contacts are collateral during one of bakugou’s attacks and bakugou wakes up to find all of his security died of hypothermia overnight. lest we forget they both have petty streaks.

hero x villain interaction would be. very funny and very bad. hero todoroki would be So Tired of villain bakugou bc of how frustrating it is that hes actually hard to stop and villain bakugou in turn would resent him immensely. hero bakugou dealing w villain todoroki? that would be (psychologically bizarre) fun. i think for some reason that would be the closest we get to a bakugou w ‘doodling hearts against their own volition’ crush energy. but theyd get along a lot better than the reverse, mainly bc hero bakugou is like a decent person and villain todoroki respects moral integrity. in both duos in a lighter setting the villain of the two might start getting a mild kick out of messing w the hero despite their focus on other things just bc 1) it gives villain todoroki the mildest of entertainment to look forward to every blue moon given he doesn’t necessarily wish bakugou any active harm 2) villain bakugou feels he’s owed some todoroki suffering considering how annoying he personally finds him.

that’s my two cents on it anyways. idk what everyone else has in mind!

[watchtheblog]

all hands on d*ck

as always, hello to my 9 true real life friends, some of my 22 (instagram) “close friends”, my 40 internet besties, the handful of you i was able to lure over here with a LiNk iN BiO, the growing number of [redacted] who are unnervingly conspicuous with their surveillance, maybe some other weirdos and haters!, at least 2 of my exes, my therapist if i ask her to read this to understand me better, my daughter in 14-18 years, and anyone else who is here and can read this!!

as a preface to a list of extravagant treasures i wish to receive this holiday season, i am going to tell you a little story. if you don’t care and just want to buy me a gift or just want to use this to curate yours, scroll to the bottom. there are words and jokes down there too if you’re here for all of it!!! (if you need inspiration from years past, i’ve been making this list for 10 years.)

the only times i feel safe are when i am at home, or when i am 5000 miles away from it. anything in between causes absolute chaos within my emotional microbiome.

in america, i am a sentient eggshell and all external stimuli are hammers. outside of america, i am an invincible-cartoon-fireball capable of any and all things through the EU.

once a week i volunteer, and once a month i drive 40-90 miles in one of the four directions to buy a lotto ticket at a random authorized lotto retailer (surprisingly not sponsored), and that’s it.

when i’m home, i do the same thing every day -  i wake up, i go to cult (this is what i call meditation because i’ve been doing it consistently for a year and i have no idea why), i write down everything i’m grateful for*, and i read (a literal book) for 20 minutes before performing my morning ablutions and walking downstairs to drink poison (espresso) and sit in my office tip tapping my ipad for 6-8 hours. then i watch some of the worst television you can ever imagine until it’s time to go to sleep, at which point i do a cult bonus track - it’s called “three good things”, and it’s exactly as the name implies - eat two peppermint patties v slowly, and go to sleep with my television blasting and every light on.

~ (*ok sorry for being sincere for a moment but i need to genuinely recommend the gratitude journal practice because it changed my life. thank you for only engaging with this if it aligns positively with you and excluding it from your personal dossier of me if it doesn’t. anyway, i also love cult because it allows me 30 minutes of controlled focus on every thought i have ever had in my entire life without even a single moment of peace. my inner monologue is a thought-orgy and i am merely a captive and reluctant eavesdropper.) ~

when i’m on vacation, i am a different character from white lotus every day.

this year for my birthday, i chartered a yacht off the amalfi coast (cameron) and sat on it alone for 3 days (ethan). on the 4th day, danielle arrived and we confused the crew by being on vacation together in italy but not fucking. (daphne/harper)

on the 5th day, danielle found out i don’t like music (you’ll need this information later), and on the 6th day, God created man, and one of them asked us if we’d like a massage.

being of sound mind, my first thought was to question this person (employed as a deckhand) on his ability to massage.

he assured us both that he and his fellow deckhand could “of course” massage!

having seen every episode of every franchise of below deck i was wary but i trust men intrinsically (tanya) and i love nothing more than to be consensually touched (dominic) so i said great, we’ll take two! and we settled on “in ten minutes” for the time.

he returned moments later to lead us in a troubling talk on massage logistics - namely, where the massages would take place and on what apparatus.

you, like we, may be thinking: what about a massage table on the sun deck? and that’s a great thought. however, there were no massage tables, so our two deckhand-cum-massage therapists decided they’d conduct the massages they assured us they were equipped to conduct on twin beds in one of the downstairs bedrooms.

10 minutes later we arrived to a room large enough to accommodate two adults lying down, or a small child standing up but being v still:

danielle and i pretended this was not weird (mia/lucia), and as soon as our four adult bodies were within the same energy field we all signed a spiritual contract to never speak about this again! unfortunately danielle and i signed in watercolor and have spoken about it ad nauseam every day since.

one of the guys asked what music he should put on, but before he finished the question, danielle had interrupted him in an octave i’ve never heard her voice go to utter the words “MERCEDES DOESN’T LIKE MUSIC.” … effectively solidifying our fate to have the weirdest experience of our lives in deafening silence!

without leaving the room, they told us to lie down - which we did - and they each returned to our respective sides to *SIT ON THE BED* and massage us with this australian jerk off oil while our faces were mushed sideways into a twin bed for a staggering and completely arbitrary 101 minutes.

the only time ive ever had a massage this unmethodical is every time my boyfriend wants to have sex, and the only reason this one ended was because someone came in to chastise them for being *below deck* for so long… at which point they both got up and left without saying a word!!

anyway ~ that’s how i met your mother ~ (sorry i’ve taken this out and put it back in 8 times. it stays!)

danielle and i are two asexual freaks so this (our villain origin story) never registered to us as a potentially sexual thing, but it has to a lot of people we’ve told! … and to those people i say: interesting. please consider my trauma when selecting a gift from the below list to send to me 😈 thank you!

THE LIST (disclaimer: all i want for my birthday is for everyone i love to be healthy, happy, rich and divinely protected (so far so good tbh!!!!), and for you to donate to the boys and girls club if you have the means. this is merely a list of things i think would be funny or nice or silly to receive:)

the intangible: to pass a law abolishing all waters i don’t like - there are too many to name, but at the very least let’s start with dasani, aquafina, and nestle purelife, for someone to defund Revolve and redirect the money to fund research to corroborate my theory that people who wear clothes that say “spiritual gangster” lack a functioning frontal lobe and should not have rights, for everyone who doesn’t like me to continue doing that because that must be very taxing, for prison reform that allows “love after lockup” to expand it’s filming schedule, for mary kate and olivier to reconcile (please click that link if you’re new here), for jeff bezos to give me a little something in his will, to be paid for all the vacations i’m going to go on in the future and that they never involve a massage on a twin bed.

the ones you can buy: * these gorgeous little poison cups to elevate morning beverages content. also gorgeous!! these are interesting! * i’m looking to redo my whole personality in the vein of someone’s really religious auntie. it starts in the dining room, here. for more in the collection, may i direct you here. *a stunning throw: in pink!!! or this cheaper (v reasonably priced, tbh!) one, the blush pink not that crazy pink in the larger size! * this thing for my desk. i would accept this but don’t really like the branding. * a 5 night stay at this hotel (a suite or above)

* a black birkin with gold hardware in 25 or 35. no links, iykyk * this coat in grey or camel. xs! * buy danielle’s book. (this story is not in it, but better ones are) * this tray to eat chips and peppatties in bed. this will likely be sold out but here. * i don’t want these but definitely want to make you aware gucci are selling incense for one hundred dollars, and perhaps we should collectively look into deplatforming them.

* a pair of solid gold 3 inch hoops. i have no links :( * i’d like to speak to the medium who has a show on bravo, please. this is him. i do not want to be “read” on the tv show. i do not want tickets to see his live show. i want to speak to a dead person through this man. one on one. (you can come if you organize it.) * these slippers. size 8. * this bracelet and bonus if you have a platinum amex, you get $50 back or something for shopping at saks! love to pay it forward!! * this jug of perfume for a room! * this jug for water at varying temperatures. matte black.

* this art, this art, this art, this art, or this art. i’m going to buy this for myself but i love this artist, so i’m sharing. * this alluring bookend that is on sale (x2)! * i don’t need this but i like the way it looks and so i’m passing it on. it’s a weight but who exercises at home… so it’s a hat for your floor. * trying this again: for someone to create a “the floor is lava” set for my birthday where i can do “the floor is lava” SEPARATELY with each of my 9 friends - none of whom know each other, which is intentional and by design. * these shoes. size 8 * these earrings. i tried to buy these on black friday but then i forgot. i may just buy them myself. who knows!

* a real two hour massage * caviar * i like her bc i think we have the same body * these french almond praline sugar things from provence that i bought at duty free and i’ll never find again. and i went on this website and tried to email them to ask them to send them to me (it appears they cannot do that) and i really don’t want to get into it but i spent hours trying to secure them bc they’re that good so i guess this is not an item it’s just a pass on should you ever be in provence or at an airport in france. * a $24,000 tribute to the mascot for Word.

some passing it forward gifts (things i don’t need (because i own them most likely) but they are nice!!) * these cute, non threatening pajamas * my favorite luxe, somewhat threatening pajamas * the only sheets i allow on my bed and body are pratesi but danielle bought me monogrammed pillowcases (super, binx) from here and !!!! * i think i always recommend diptyque candles but we are also a cade (you have to ask for this, they don’t keep them out 😗) household now and newly a boysmells household. * skincare is kind of a lame gift bc everyone’s skin is so different but i have the most reactive skin in the world so i’d like to pass along three of the only things that don’t ruin my life: this (i’ve been using for 3 weeks) is soooo nice, as is this which i’ve been using on and off for a month but the price point was set by the us national debt clock or something. (their instagram clickbait lip balm thing is a waste of money and yes i wasted my money!) also i love this and have used since it launched :)

ok ty for reading come again bye!

[fandomracket]

SPOILERS Tales from the SMP | The Wild West

Warning: Cursing

Very few deaths this one. The blood lust have eased up a bit. Also, the accents/voices in this one. Oooooh boi. This is the same time as the Masquerade. So it's in the past of the Dream SMP.

Ok. Characters. Are:

Of course, our Karl. Twitch.tv/karljacobs is his full name. We got a shitton to talk about this man's character and such. I will save it for maybe the end bit.

TOWNSPEOPLE

John John (Ranboo) is a bartender. Has fingers?. Suspiciously looks like a minor that just works at a saloon and only sells beere. Hands a lot of drinks. He dies by the hands of Mason. I don't know the reason why but he did. The only one to die in the "right side." He believes the devil are usually the reason of "strange" occurrences. Held a stack of milk, pretty sure.

There's a priest Reveren? I think was the name that died and was supposed to come back in 3 days.

Percy (Tubbo) is a banker. If he had a last name, I didn't get it. Has a G R E A T S H O T. Also, had a banking bee that died because of Michael's fireworks. Plays go fish while in the middle of a blackjack match. Likes snap and to match the pictures. John owes him a lot. (They gave that skin to someone that is likely the youngest in that group)

Sheriff Sherman Thompson (Technoblade) is a Sheriff that has about a week before retirement. He is the sheriff and he saw it. Has a G R E A T S H O T. Forgets the number five. The only one who initially owns a gun. Has one Horse power.

Crops (Corpse Husband) is a cannibal prisoner. Ate the priest and the orphan. Ate the doctor last week. Deep voice. Didn't understand the terms of the duel. He was just hungry.

Ron Ronson, son of Ron, obviously son of his dad, Ron Ronson, who yet again is the son of Ron Ronson. But he is just called Michael. (Fundy ffs) Mails people things of people. Either he stutters a lot or he is some robot or both or there was a weird transition in the middle (maybe due to the injury or a nervousness thing). Eats Japanese lanterns and has a frozen (not the cold type) chicken wife. He killed it.

William Williamson (BadBoyHalo) offers muffins. Has nice pants. Has a G R E A T S H O T when drunk. You touch anything you buy it. Drinks a lot.

THE bullies BANDITS. (I love this) Democrat haters. They were never at all jailed despite their crimes and only Crops was and that's because he is a cannibal. Although the group also seem to be cannibals.

Jack Kanoff (Quackity) is the leader? of the bandits. Weak to Thorns. A "good guy" Cannibal. Killed by the hand of Crops.

Mason (Sapnap) is Jack's right hand man/best friend. Muted. Killed by Karl. He didn't have much info.

Just Connor/Flint Michigan (Connoreatspants) Fastest Thief alive. Why is he wearing a onesie in a west side town under what seems to be an extremely hot climate. Disappears. Killed by Sheriff Sherman.

--------

Other comments:

CHURCH OF PRIME

The map looked so awesome. They never visited the inn tho.

Also that song from and the beginning was so catchy and I literally listened to it earlier just before the stream started. It's by derivakat on youtube and the songs she made are so catchy.

Billiam used to be from this this town. He took most of the town's money.

G R E A T S H O T

Who let the cows out? Who who who who who?

Percy volunteered but was not really chosen for the duel. So did, Michael but Michael is... ehhh. I mean we already know whyy he wasn't fit for that.

Why John tho? That was just unclear to me. Is it so Karl can do his revenge thing? The man was shaking when they chose him.

I think Michael would've been hilarious choice to send in to the duel. But I chose Percy because he already volunteered.

O H N O

IT'S HIGH NOON.

Bandit Language includes LMAO, LOL, LMFAO, XD, :P, :3, OwO, and UwU

Congrats for Qucakity not dying first. He died second. New record

Jack, Crops, and Karl love triangle?

Milk drinking contest.. Also just because of the milk thing and how they both have similar jobs and actor, I think Butler and John John could be related. Billiam could have took Butler from John or smth like that.

Karl declares he's the new sheriff in town then suddenly walks away saying he wasn't even from there. I mean Yeh. But the confusion of the townspeople... it was funny to say the least. They just got dragged into a weird fight by someone they do not even know. That gives me an idea.

John was the first to meet Karl and defended him from the Sheriff due to being indebted to Karl saving him from the bandits early on. But Karl chooses John to fight the last bandit despite being "incapable" and was led to his death. I feel like there is some type of manipulation here tbh or I might just be trying to over analyze it.

Ok now about the Inbetween. It is really beautiful. And the multiple Karls. It makes sense! Since it is his safe haven on time travels and apparently he will time travel a lot more. The Inbetween has no time or dimension and I can see why there were many Karls.

Also Don't Stray Off the Path ? That has 87 pages. What's that about?

Good enough ending, lets go! I mean John John died but Lets Go!

I really love how it is a plot-following chaos. Yeh there might be an outline of what should happen but other than that it's chaos compared to the main lore where it would be a more "organized chaos."

[zukkaoru]

stupid thing:

can you please rank the college au kiddos based on levels of hatred for geese<3

literally saw you reblog the ask thing and went ‘gotta send her something stupid’ and stared at the pablo tumblr post on my wall for five minutes until I thought about geese because they’re stupid

slkdhfjdgkf okay let's go, ordered by least hatred to most hatred i'm also definitely taking inspiration from the you happened verse for this list skjdfkdjsf

this got longer than expected so i'm putting it under the cut (also tw for hypothetical violence against animals i guess?)

hahn - i'm saying geese are his favorite animal bc they're annoying just like him <3

aang & jin - listen. aang and jin are both too sweet to hate geese. they won't deny that they can be annoying (it's the honking. why are they so loud?) but they're definitely hold the least amount of hatred towards geese and would pick "talk to it (affectionate)" on your quiz

yue - yue likes all animals, but she does hold a little contempt for geese after they attacked her girlfriend so.....

zuko - we know zuko likes birds, and unfortunately geese fall into that category. but also sokka is a bad influence on zuko and has ranted about geese enough that zuko has started to not like them as much anymore

ty lee - would chi block a goose, but solely for the fact that they annoy her girlfriend

toph - toph is annoyed by geese, but she also revels in the chaos they cause in her friend group because of how much hatred some of her friends hold towards them. she will tell geese to keep honking and being loud solely because sokka and suki get mad at her when she does it

haru & mai - they're both pretty passive in their hatred towards geese (it's more annoyance than hatred, really), but that does not stop them from flipping geese off when they're being loud. or when they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk for no reason at all, don't you have somewhere else you can be???

katara - okay you'd think katara would be a little more chill with geese considering who her boyfriend is but she's spent so much time around suki and sokka that every honk now fills her with rage. she's definitely too smart to ever get in a fight with a goose, though. she's not trying to get bit

azula - she would kill a goose with her bare hands, but once again, she's too smart to get in a fight with a goose (most of the time). she desperately wants to, though, and one day she will break and that goose will be very unlucky

jet - he is only above azula because he has definitely stepped in goose poop on more than one occasion and every time, it levels up his rage

sokka - has gotten in a fight with a goose because it was looking at him wrong. has shouted at geese because they were being too loud. has had to be physically restrained from attacking a goose because it was looking at zuko wrong. katara constantly tells him he needs to stop picking fights with geese bc he keeps losing, but she also thinks it's absolutely hilarious and is living vicariously through sokka

suki - suki is the number one goose hater and we all know it. it's a wonder she and yue get along so well. suki just,,, is not liked by animals at all, and in turn, she does not like them. she's gotten into a fight with a goose, but unlike sokka, she definitely won the fight. that did nothing to deter her hatred, though, and she will seethe every time she sees a goose until the day she dies

[fastlikealambo]

ok mer fam, let’s talk siren:

SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW SAY SIKE RIGHT FUCKING NOW IS MY MAIN POINT THROUGH THIS AN ENTIRE EPISODE.

honestly replace this scene with sex scene with the eyes on fire song and i’m just watching a repeat of vampire diaries. I’m fucking a chaos bi cryptid and I felt absolutely nothing looking at ben and ryn sushi each other

I could care less about chris and what’s wrong with him, they only bring him back for filler most of the time and how did  he go from not remembering who calvin was to doing a choreographed dance with him, the donna being free explanation was flakey.

xander fucking leveled up this season, literally one of the only things this season did right was giving him a moral compass.

so is maddie just like a work colleague  now because they barely included her in this cannon rescue scene only to end with her to  more or less  be the bad guy to ben and ryn. she was spitting straight facts but the way she talked to ryn was just not MADDIE. Even when she is upset with ryn, there’s always been a gentleness in her tone and it’s just...gone.

I’m going to say it:ben straight up manipulated ryn during the cells scene.  I don’t believe that was the last of the cells, he manipulated ryn to try and get her to keep them.even though they threw them out, I was disgusted with ben. 

this scene with tia and dead guy was boring and predictable. she’s so mean to her own kind what’s she gonna do if she wins this war?  it never works out in the end for dictators of any species.

SO NO ONE TOLD RYN YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING. WE JUST GONNA SPEED PAST THAT ONE HUH

I know the point of these flashbacks were to show how ryn “didn’t belong” (which is bullshit btw, she was becoming her own person in bristol cove) but for me, it  kinda  looked like ryn was piecing together ben’s addiction to the song and how it was making him act in the present.

this wedding is hollow as fuck, they couldn’t be bothered to even get a scene of janine and calvin’s wedding vows to give them some sort of characterization?

what really pisses me off is that they took a maddie and ryn moment from earlier in the season where maddie explained to ryn the symbolism of wedding rings and gave that to bryn. ryn knows exactly what a wedding ring means,she proposed and he didn’t try to stop her or correct it. this is no longer the polymarine I know. 

i hope xander’s  going to survive. ALTHOUGH I’M SORRY WHAT MILLENNIAL ANSWERS A PHONE CALL FROM AN UNKNOWN NUMBER IN THE YEAR 2020. TIA BETTER LEARN HOW TO PUT HER SONG IN A TEXT SHE AIN’T GETTIN ME LIKE THAT

and this is where I attempt to talk through my anger:this show set up a healthy polyamorous relationship, one where problems were talked through,where careful loving affection between three people wasn’t portrayed as crude or morally deviant. there wasn’t a big coming out reveal, they were just together. 

all couples go through trials and tribulations but this was a chance to normalize a poorly underrepresented pairing and in the span of eight episodes they have absolutely ruined it MADDIE WASN’T EVEN SITTING NEXT TO THEM AT THE WEDDING. what does they say about real life  queer poly couples? ”sorry but only two of you are really in love, the rest are just clinging on until something else deigns to look at you?”  

I’m usually okay ship whatever you want but there have multiple articles,interviews saying that this was a canon couple,a canon couple to be treated with respect. if this season ends the way I think it will,all that will be left is disrespect and a bland romance that this show wasn’t built on which made me tune in the first place.

and the fact that yet another woc lead has been pushed to the side for white leads is bringing me to tears a little bit, I’m not going to lie. I know it’s just a tv show but as a black woman it stings just a little bit harder to see a vibrant lead of color barely present. like let’s be real as we begin to wrap up the season:aside from her subplot romance with robb, what are the other season defining moments has maddie had? because I can name a least five moments for ryn and ben. maddie bishop is a hero in her own right and deserves to be in every major moment, and that’s final. and the fact that the writers have seemingly began to listen to the racism in the siren fandom ( not really here but mostly twitter and facebook) and removed her from most of the action is really disturbing to me. to be blunt,I was positive towards the end of the episode that it was going to be maddie bleeding out on the floor for white pain. 

I fucking love Siren, it has some of the best lore on tv, I don’t feel like a creepy adult watching a teen drama, and I’ve been a fan of this show since the trailer aired.  I’m just so spent. where do we go from here? if this show gets renewed (which I want more than anything), how will it continue? only time will tell.

like i’m not trying to be a hater but like where do we go from here? anyway, I hope anything I wrote made some sense, it’s been a long day and maybe I’m way off base but this is how I feel in the moment. 

[nodick-energy]

My (Probably Very Unpopular) Ranking of Black Friday Songs

1. Take Me Back: my poor shipper heart omg. The song itself is great but there's a rlly deep meaning behind every line and Kim and Dylan killed it. This is literally my favourite StarKid song period. I just love it. And the bit with the SCIGTHS characters is just a perfect buildup. Ughhhh I just love them so much.

2. Feast Or Famine: it's chaotic and powerful and everything you want in a group number. Also Jeff yelling Chaos Reigns is 👌👌👌.

3. What If Tomorrow Comes: Ngl I didn't love it until we got the studio recording but THE MUSIC. AND KENDALL. APPRECIATE KENDALL SHE'S SO TALENTED.

4. Black Friday: ugh so emotional and rawwww. Angela fucking kills it and just hhhhnnnngggg.

5. Do You Want To Play: short, creepy, Kim and Dylan duet, murder. Need I say much more?

6. Monsters And Men (Reprise): I get that it's short but that doesn't mean I don't worship it and listen to it on repeat. Jeff Blim *chef's kiss*.

7. Made In America: It feels like it's a mashup of like 6 different songs in one and it works s o w e l l. Also Kim slaying that soprano part omg.

8. If I Fail You: Three things: sad boi hours, male belting, and Dylan Saunders. See also: Sliiiyyhhuuumm.

9. Monsters And Men: ughhhh I love Jeff's voice. And the music in this is s o g o o d. Personally my favourite version of this song was the alternate ticket, not because I'm a Jeff Blim falsetto hater (I love his falsetto), I just find his chest voice v sexy and it just generally pleases my soft gay heart. Also Curt Mega is a God.

10. Deck The Halls (Of Northville High): I love this song it's so uplifting and colourful and just generally really fucking dumb in a good way (and also the choreography is amazing). The only thing that I don't like is the massive amount of dialogue in the middle, although I totally get why it's there.

11. What Tim Wants: I am a Dylan stan first and a person second. Again no particular reason why this is ranked where it is (besides me being v biased towards Dylan oops), I just like it more than the ones below and less than the ones above.

12. Tickle Me Wiggly Jingle: Same as WDYS. Also not a song I can listen to on repeat, the uwu talk does sadly get slightly annoying after a few straight listens.

13. What Do You Say: I love this song. It's so chaotic. I do however think quite a bit of the song is lost when you take away the visuals (y'know, other than initially not having the visuals).

14. CaliforMIA: This song is just so me. I think the reason it's so low is I've listened to it so much it's just become less exciting in my head. But I still love it.

15. Wiggle: This gets stuck in my head more often than you can possibly imagine. The only reason this so low is because I just plainly like the other songs better.

16. Adore Me: Again, love Lauren's voice, I just don't love the song. Not my style again.

17. Our Doors Are Open: Okay here's the thing. I adore Corey's voice. I think it's great and smooth and he's got a great range. I just honestly don't like the song. It's just not my style at all. I don't hate it, I'm not bashing Corey or Jeff, I just wouldn't listen to it by choice because it's not the kind of thing I'm into.

[kinglarrykoopadx]

My top 10 all time favorite characters

10. Captain Basilisx (SMBZ)

One of the few redeeming factors of SMBZ, Captain Basilisx is one of Bowser’s more threatening forces. An incredible badass who’s better than Shadow the Hedgefart (fight me) that has Medusa’s gaze and is the only one out of Bowser’s army who canonically kills Mario in the og series (the Reboot does not count, it does not exist to me). And his theme song, like god damn, that remix of Show No Tears from DMC3 is a banger. The only reason he’s this low is cause Basilisx is a one time character. His debut episode, The Great Doomship Offensive, was his final episode because Carl Marx Haynes refused to put him in the reboot, so thanks a lot, Alvinlaskan Bullworm.

9. Rosalina (Mario series)

Is anyone surprised she made it to this list somehow? Rosalina first appeared in the masterpiece of a game, Mario Galaxy. She watches the Comet Observatory and was accompanied by thousands, scratch it, millions of Lumas. They did her dirty in Mario Galaxy 2 by reducing her appearance to a cameo in the base game, and 3D World made her a straight up playable character to wash off the disrespect. She’s pretty much the only Mario princess that I adore. Pauline’s not my type, I despise the hell outta Peach, and Daisy is too sassy for my liking. Why she is at number 9 is that I don’t like her as much as I used to. Don’t get me wrong, I still liked her, I just don’t like her as much. Still a decent Mario character though.

8. King K. Rool (DK series)

Another case of Basilisx, he’s basically if Goofy from Disney tried to be Bowser. He’s many things. A boxer, a king, a scientist, hell even a pirate captain. His goal varies throughout his appearances. In the first DKC game, he wants to hoard all the Kongs’ bananas. In the 2nd and 3rd, he plotted revenge against the Kongs. In 64 is where he’s most serious, cause he wants to BLOW UP DK ISLAND with his Blast-O-Matic. he’s a wacky one, but that’s what we all adore from him. The reason he’s this low is that he’s another case of Basilisx. He’s underused as hell, he and the Kongs haven’t batted eyes in years. And truth to be told, I really wish he’d stick around. The villains we got in the recent DKC games are just generic as hell. Tiki Tong is Knucklotec but before Odyssey happened, and of course the Walrus is the main villain of Tropical Freeze. How anti climactic.

7. Blaze (Sonic series)

While I stated before that my faith on Sonic sinks as deep as the Mariana Trench, she’s one of the better Sonic characters. She’s the anti Sonic where while Sonic is social, caring and all about action, Blaze is an introvert, has no friends, and plans ahead. Kinda like everyone in 2020 when you put it in perspective. She has incredible fire powers and is the guardian of the Sol Emeralds, the Sol Dimension’s Chaos Emeralds, which looked like the Royal Rubies/Savvy Sapphires/Equable Emeralds from Dragon Quest. At first, she was hostile towards everyone except Cream, but in the end of Sonic Rush, she had character development and grew fond of everyone. She’s one of the best Sonic characters, and Sega did her dirty by pulling a Basilisx. Seriously, Generations was her last appearance, not counting spinoffs.

6. Metal Sonic (Sonic series)

In the Sonic series, Metal Sonic was the chad to Sonic’s virgin. He was first introduced in Sonic CD, as Sonic’s faker, who strived to be better than Sonic. And can I just say that Metal Sonic is 99.9% better than regular Sonic, despite Sonic kicking his ass multiple times? Safe to say that the scrap brain has acheived his life’s purpose (hohoho-) . He has speed that outmatches Sonic, can overheat his circuitry to catch up with Sonic when he’s far behind, but the biggest highlight was when he turned to flying metal godzilla. And his theme songs never cease to disappoint. Stardust Speedway is a banger and What I’m Made Of. Dear god, WHAT. I’M. MADE. OF. If you never smiled hearing this, don’t even speak a single word, cause you’re an alien and I’m calling the FBI. The only problem with him is he’s another Blaze/Basilisx. His last official appearance was in Generations, not counting Forces cause he was a hallucination at the time, and Mania was made by Whitehead and not Sega so it doesn’t count. The only reason he’s higher than Blaze is because I prefer him over her.

5. Vivian (TTYD)

In this tumblr, I normally trash talk TTYD, but now, let’s talk a positive from the game. Someone get me the bucket, cause after this section, I’m gonna barf. Anyways, Vivian from TTYD is by far the most developed out of the TTYD roster. We get glimpses of her being abused by Beldam and eventually in Chapter 4, she has a change of heart and joins your party, practically defying her purpose in life. She also has a wide array of useful attacks. Shadow Fist being her neutral special, Veil which is basically Bow’s Outta Sight, Fiery Jinx which inflicts Burn, and Infatuate which confuses enemies with a kiss (might as well call this The Thousand Kisses Door). The reason she’s this low is cause she’s not exactly my favorite female character in paper Mario, she’s rather the 2nd best.

4. Koopalings (Mario series)

Maybe I watched too much Bowser’s Koopalings for this one, but shut up, this is my list.

3. Bowser Jr (Mario series)

Bowser’s spoiled son here takes the 3rd place for multiple reasons. One, look at him. He’s adorable. How could you hate him you soulless pricks. Two, he’s smart as hell. I mean it’s evident since his debut, he literally framed Mario and got away with it. And mind you, framing someone for a felony is not easy. Takes years of planning, lawyers, hiding of evidence, and did I mention lawyers? And it doesn’t stop there. Unlike Bowser who normally uses brute force, Jr here uses all sorts of tech to keep Mario at bay. Megahammer, Mecha Jr, Boomsday Machine, you get the idea. Third, his father son relationship with Bowser is adorable as hell, seriously, HOW DO YOU HATE THIS GUY.

2. Olivia/Bobby (Origami King)

It was hard ranking these two individually but then I decided to put them both in the same tier. First up, my favorite Paper Mario character, Olivia.  She’s basically a precious sunshine baby and if you dare lay a single scratch on her, I WILL BE FORCED TO TRAVEL THE WORLD AND BACK TO FIND YOU AND WHEN I DO, THEY HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER COFFIN FOR YOUR FUNERAL. Yeah, her hints usually don’t help and I can see why there are people who hate her, but that’s what kids do, and I don’t even wanna see how an Olivia hater parents his kids. I just assume they donate them to an orphanage or something. I was kinda sad to see her go honestly, she was the only one travel companion out of the modern trilogy that I feel actually matters. And now, we have Bobby. He’s basically a Bob Omb who was a passenger of the Princess Peach (the narcissism, I know) until Olly took over and he eventually lost his fuse and memory. He doesn’t do much in battle, but his story arc is his spotlight. Eventually, he got his memories and the fuse he kept as a memory for his fallen bestie, which means it’s time to say goodbye. I know some TTYD fanbitch is gonna question his death because “aLl bOb oMbS sUrvIvE aN explOsiOn” but listen. Bobby isn’t a special case like say, Bombette or Bobbery. He’s just a regular factory made Bob Omb, which means he’s gonna die should he explode. And not gonna lie, that was one of the saddest videogame moments I experienced in my life. I almost cried, true story, and it takes a lot to make me cry. Olivia’s despair doesn’t help either. He was a valiant hero, a chad, and most importantly, he was a FRIEND. The reason they’re not on the top is because there’s one surpassing the two of them, and all who know me know who he freaking is.

1. Bowser (Mario series)

I mean, c’mon, who else would it be? He’s basically the supreme chad to Mario’s virgin. He’s one of gaming’s most iconic villains and he deserves that fucking role. He’s incredibly badass, like look at Giga Bowser and Fury Bowser and tell me he’s not the icon of awesome. If he’s not, don’t speak to me. Hell, even Pyrrhon from Kid Icarus Uprising acknowledges his badassery, if you’ve seen Hades’ Misguidance Season 2. He’s also crazy powerful, being able to conquer entire galaxies and punch out castles, TWICE. He even punched an entity of darkness to oblivion once. And did I mention he’s an incredible parent? He’s one of the most complex Mario characters, and that’s why we love him, is it not? For me, this is rather the case of rooting the villain more than the hero. And if I get judged for it, then so be it. I wish one day for a standalone Bowser game (Inside Story does not count) where Bowser beats the shit outta Mario. I salute you, King Koopa, you don’t need a crown to be my ruler, my throne’s already yours.

[imagineyoungjustice]

1.5k Followers Milestone Drabbles 3/10

I need to cringe! I'd like to request a drabble where Bart decides to only speak in slang and dead memes for a week. He'd probably drive the team insane -Anonymous

Set in between season’s 2 and 3 but probably closer to the end of season 2! Also thank you guys once again for sending in your meme and slang suggestions I’ve never cringed harder when writing a drabble! -Terra

Tags: @ljblve​ @loverbug1123​ @aworldwideapart​ @wallywestie

Want to be added to our tag list? Send us and ask!

Also the easiest way for me to write this was to do a small collection of “mini scenes” in which Bart would use his memes instead of spending hours I didn’t have this week with all my assignments to make it one long story so I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted but this was the way I could push it out faster! Enjoy!

Monday:

           When Tim walked into the Watchtower that morning the last thing he expected was to see Bart, dressed in his Kid Flash uniform lying across a gap between two of the branches in the Watchtowers courtyard. He paused mid-step as he looked at the speedster’s placement, a faint flicker of familiarity pricking at the back of his mind at the rigid posture to Bart’s body. Then it finally dawned on him.

           “Bart… are you… planking?”

           “Fo’ shizzle Tim Drizzle.” Scratch that maybe that was the last thing he expected today.

           “Excuse me?”

           “You’re really harshing my mellow with all those questions, not very radical behavior of you man.”

           He’s sure his eyes were as wide as saucers by now as his mind scrambled to make sense of what he was hearing. He even pinched his arms a few times to make sure he was actually experiencing this right now and it wasn’t just some weird concussion dream.

           “Flash said he spent the whole weekend reading up on slang and memes, he hasn’t stopped speaking and acting like this ever since.” Jaime mumbled, his head resting on his palm from where he sat under a different tree. “I already tried explaining dead memes and dead slang to him, but I don’t think he’s quite grasped it yet.”

           Tim already knew this was going to be a long week.

Tuesday:

           Tim crouched among the underbrush of the jungle, using the thick foliage and natural shadows to conceal himself. The rain was light, but enough to make their stealth mission somewhat miserable with the wet seeping through the seems of their costumes and mud cling to their boots. They had been trudging through this for hours now, and now the end was in sight. There just ahead of them was the plant that had been pushing out a Reach-like drug under a new name. Kaldur had placed Tim in charge, giving him Bart, Jaime, and Vrigil to take it down.

           “Okay.” He whispered, looking over to his gathered team. “We need to do this carefully. Jaime, you and your scarab need to crunch the numbers, what are we looking at in terms of numbers and success percentage if we proceed with plan A?”

           Jaime paused, looking out over the small compound while the scarab did what it needed to do with its sensors. “Scarab says we’re looking at a thirty-two-point three repeating percent chance of success if we just barge through the front door in a full assault.”

           “Okay let’s not do that then. Static you’ll be on point.” Tim started dishing out orders for their plan B strategy when Bart stood up, pulling his red visor down in front of his eyes.

           “This is taking too long, time’s up let’s do this! LEEEEEEROOOYYYYY JENKINSSSSSSS.” Bart had sped off into the plant before any of them could stop him. The sounds of gunfire and shouting erupted from inside.

           “Oh my god we need to go in after him! Move let’s go!” Tim shouted vaulting over his hiding spot and rushing in through the front doors. Jaime and Virgil were thankfully right behind him. Inside they were met with complete chaos, enemies were scattered everywhere spraying gunfire in every which direction they though Bart was. Tim could only grumble as he threw himself into the fight, dodging what he could and taking the guards out one by one.

           Just when they thought they were in the clear, the last of the guards tied up and down for the count, Sportsmaster appeared on the catwalks above them. “I thought I heard the sound of you brats in here. Where’s the rest of your little team? Don’t tell me you’re all that came to shut this place down?” He laughed and jumped over the rails, landing on the concrete in front of them. Tim threw down some smoke pellets and circled around. Jaime and Virgil did their best to keep hitting him from range while Tim did his best to get up close and get a few hits in at crucial points. So far, it wasn’t working out well for them. He didn’t know where Bart was, but they were losing the fight badly, and they really needed his speed.

           With a few lucky hits, Virgil and Jaime were down and out. The small distraction from glancing at his teammates let Sportsmaster land a hit to him that sent him flying back and gasping for the air that had been knocked out of his lungs. From the corner of his eye he caught sight of yellow and red at the crate crane control panel, and one of the cranes lifting up.

           The crate came back around and smacked into Sportsmaster before he could advance on Tim, slapping him into the adjacent wall hard enough to knock him out. Over his shoulder he could hear Bart in the near distance.

           “HE NEEDS SOME MILK.”

           He would deny ever laughing as hard as he did later when he was giving his report on what happened.

Wednesday:

           Tim was speeding after Brick on his cycle, Cassie and Jaime right behind him. It wasn’t often the team ended up in high-speed chases but if Tim were being honest, he liked the change from the usual stealth missions where they had to watch each and every step. Bart had sped off ahead to try and cut off Brick and his thugs’ convoy. They had stolen important weapons tech, and they couldn’t afford to let him escape.

           “KF we’re losing ground where are you!?” Tim shouted into his comm. His motorcycle was fast but not fast enough apparently, especially with the way Brick and his gang were currently swerving through traffic. As much as he liked the change of pace, he did hate it when it was through the middle of a densely populated city.

           “I’m practically right there, just hang on tight for a moment everything will be totally tubular just wait!”

           “Ay mi dios.” Jaime mumbled from above. “You’d think with as fast as he goes, he would have at least caught up to current slang by now.”

           “Tell me about it.” Cassie replied, “I never thought I’d miss him saying ‘crash’ and ‘mode’ as much as I do right now.”

           “Let’s focus guys, please?” Tim called. “Blue can you get a shot at any of their tires yet?”

           Before Jaime could respond, they saw a familiar yellow and red blur cut into the street just ahead of Brick.

           “Damn Daniel, back at it again with the white vans!”

           Clever use, Tim just gave snort as Brick and the rest of his gang, very much driving white vans, had no choice but to suddenly swerve and crash into each other in order to avoid hitting Bart.

Thursday:

           Tim knew Bart was up to something as soon as he saw the shit-eating grin on the young hero’s face. The shaving cream in his hand was also a pretty good clue. With a small glance in the direction Bart was looking he confirmed exactly what was about to happen.

           “Bart if you value your life you will definitely abort exactly what you have planned.” His grin only grew wider.

           “Bart I promise you, as someone who lives with the guy. Don’t.”

           “SMACK CAM” Bart screeched as he used his speed to race forward, outstretching his hand at the last moment and slapping Batman right across the right cheek with the hand that was full of shaving cream.

           “Oh my god that poor dead bastard.” Tim whispered.

           It was dead silent in the Watchtower as everyone held their breath for the Dark Knight’s reaction. For his part he stayed silent as he wiped the shaving cream off his face, completely stoic before he turned to Barry.

           “Say goodbye to your grandson until he’s born Allen.”

           A muffled “YOLO” was the only thing Tim could hear as Bart sped away with Batman hot on his heels.

Friday:

           By now it was safe to say the entire team was sick of Bart’s new slang and meme knowledge. Sure every now and again Bart would have a clever use that would earn a small laugh or two, but for the most part they largely missed their mark prompting a lot of groans and sighs.

           Jaime had even tried bribing Bart with thirty bags of Chicken Wizee’s in order to get him to stop. It hadn’t worked so far. Nothing had, they were stuck in dead meme and dead slang hell until whatever this was had run its course with him.

           That’s why they all cringed as Bart walked up to the group. “What’s up my homeboys and homegirls?”

           “Bart we are literally begging you to stop.” Tim said.

           “No can do, haters gonna hate!”

           “Bart I will literally give you free Chicken Wizee’s for life if you stop.”

           “Lit, but as swag as that sounds, I’ll have to pass. Catch you guys on the flip side!” He called as he walked out of the room.

Saturday:

           “Hey Robin!” Tim just cringed and tried to ignore him, hoping that Bart would leave if he didn’t say anything. From the sympathetic look Cassie gave him, that wasn’t going to be the case. “Robin! Yo Rob! Robster! Robmiester!”

           He just sighed, “Yes Bart?”

           “Something came for you in the mail!”

           In a momentary lapse of judgement, Tim made a fatal error in his next choice of words. “Oh? What came?”

           “DEEZ NUTS.” Bart’s cackles could be heard all over the Watchtower. Tim was going to murder him.

Sunday:

           Once again Tim found himself in the middle of a fight with Cassie, Jaime, Virgil and Bart. This time however, the team had been called to assist the League with another bust this time being a large-scale reproduction of the Reach drink under a new name. Zatanna had been stationed with Tim’s squad for their particular section. Their job was to fight their way and disable of the brewery rooms.

           “Hey Zatanna!”

           “No Bart.”

           “I didn’t even say anything yet!”

           “I know what you want me to do and my answer is still no.”

           He stopped right in front of her, fixing her with his best puppy dog look. “Pleaseeee?”

           She just sighed and turned towards the rest of the team. “Everyone get up off the ground now!” Confused they did as they were told except for Bart who looked like a kid in a candy store being told he could get whatever he wanted. “eht roolf si aval!”

           Oh, that’s what he had wanted. The floor morphed from simple concrete to burning lava right before the team’s very eyes, taking out the robotic guards they had been pinned down by in mere moments. As soon as Zatanna called off the spell, Tim was quick to get his birdarangs ready before the next wave could barge in.

           “Hey Bart.” Tim handed the speedster the birdarangs primed for detonation upon impact. “These bitches empty.”

           Bart looked at him with big hopeful eyes as if he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing. With a nod from Tim, he gently took them from his hand, turning towards the vats. “YEET.” Bart put his whole body into the throw, each of the birdarangs hitting their target and detonating the vats in an impressive show.

           “You’re encouraging him now?” Cassie called as they watched the compound explode in the distance.

           “Hey at least this one was current.”

[pinch-and-poke]

Hallyu Analysis: Sasori Edition.

Sasori has no idea I’m doing this, but I thought it would be a fun way to kick things off. 

Position

Lead rapper

Underground turned idol

everyone is shocked she went mainstream

the anti-aegyo member

Group Dynamics

one of the quieter members

except for when she’s being an absolute savage

passive aggressively shades her members when they’re being bratty

aggressively shades the haters in the media

every time she opens her mouth in an interview her manager grows another grey hair because she does not pull her punches when someone makes her mad

the one that accidentally swears on live TV

not “the mom” of the group but still lowkey takes care of her members

takes absolutely 0 shit (except from maybe like her favorite member)

lowkey knows everyone’s darkest secrets but keeps it to herself

hates cute concepts

Management: well that’s too bad this song has a cute concept

Sasori: fine but I’m only wearing black

refuses to do aegyo unless asked by someone particularly attractive, even then still wants to die inside

the cryptid member, never seen outside of official schedules

no one is even sure she’s real

may be a hologram

interacts more with her members and other idols on their instagrams than she does in real life (because that requires leaving the house)

collabs with other groups/idols frequently, even outside the company

Don't tell anyone but despite the tough exterior she's actually big softie who loves kitties

Idol Dating

has never eaten an Inkigayo sandwich, let alone a phone number

has either low key pocketed the number without anyone noticing, if she was actually interested

or stares them directly in the eye as she throws the whole sandwich away

relationships last years or they never get past a second date

good luck with rumors, Dispatch can never find her

but it’s the media and there’s gonna be rumors

(hear me out on this one Sasori) rumors start circulating that she’s dating a *gasp* younger Idol, omg she’s dating Woojin from BNB

people think they make a great hard working lowkey savage couple

until Sasori is doing a radio interview

“Woojin? How did that rumor even start? He’s a nice kid but I’m dating Chanyeol, wtf?”

media blows up when they find out she’s dating a beagle line boy

manager grows more grey hairs when she admits she’s dating another idol AND swears on air

fandom chaos ensues, no one saw it coming because their personalities seem so different

but it’s actually a p good pairing and they last for quite some time

They're literally this meme

-Admin Peachy

[skamremakesfromhell]

I will never understand how skam italia got so popular that it somehow developed its own breed of stans outside of regular skam/Rm skam stans? Like i literally see other rm stan accounts othe twitter and tumblr complain about how obnoxious skam it stans are

so idk if you were really asking for a breakdown but i’ve been thinking about this a lot recently so im gonna ramble about it for a bit whoops

so it was always inevitable that the remakes would cause divisions within the skam fandom and i think that’s important to kept in mind. there were divisions when there was only the 1 show! the chaos of 8 was a given lol. so not only would there be people that preferred one remake over another but there was also the immediate division between fans of og who didn’t even wanna touch a remake with a 10 foot pole and og fans that were watching the remakes

so the first rounds of remakes start (skamfr, skamit, druck, and skamus) and there was a lot of excitement and disappointment happening because we were all excited for new content but simultaneously disappointed that the content wasn’t new enough. that s1 was the same exact story across them all. skam france came first and it really set the bar real low. it felt to many like a cheap copycat. it had some fun stuff here and there and the cast was doing a decent job but overall with the constant promise of “change” from the production/cast that never followed through a lot of people quickly got tired of it. by the time s1 was almost over druck and skam italia began to air and a little bit later skam austin starts. right here i think it’s important that s2 of skam france was airing for a majority of the time these others were on since s2 is the season that’s the most “either you love it or you hate it”

a number of people gave up on skamfr either not feeling it/refusing to watch s2/whatever and moved on to the other remakes. i think it’s really important to note that at this time skamit was the only version that was changing “william” in any substantial way. druck only changes at the very end and it’s only the fact that he apologized to kiki on his own but edoardo had been introducing small deliberate changes to his character throughout the season. this gained interest from both noorhelm fan and anti noorhelm people because it was new! and different! compared to the other version not changing much for this storyline and skamfr airing a basic copy of s2 this was an exciting development! it was something that intrigued more og fans

of course you have to remember that everyone thought all the remakes were gonna be terrible. they were all a lost cause from the very beginning. people that were enjoying the remakes were already having to be defensive against og fans who hated the remakes just for enjoying them. skamfr was already kinda a dud, skamus had too much hype and pressure on it since it was the one julie was working on to really live up to that, and druck was falling to the wayside from poor production decisions (going on break for a week within the first month without telling anyone ?!?? really ?!?) skamit s1 did seem to be the best produced, with some interesting character changes, and a nice aesthetic. it quickly became the one most people recommended to others. new person asks “which remake should i watch?” and the first answer would almost always be skamit. italians were all pleasantly surprised by the show which made them want to spread it even more. like “look finally some good italian television!” the actors are good and not super overdramatic! the shots are nice and pretty! everyone on the cast is so pretty! rome is so pretty!

but what made this turn into the skamit fans being their own “separate” fandom? well if you go back through all the #discourse you can see all the number of time skamit fans have had to defend the fact that they liked skamit and that in itself will limit you down to the kind of people are always on the defense. who feel like they have to talk about all the great amazing things to feel validated in liking what they like because people are out there criticizing it. who either don’t care about issues people raise or don’t want to think about it. “why can’t everyone leave us alone” “if you don’t like don’t watch” “this is how italy is and you’re the problem for not understanding that”. the casting of sana caused a lot of people to call out skamit and condemn it as “problematic” and/or refuse to watch it before it even aired. now i believe those people are well within their right to do that. if something like this about a show upsets you you don’t owe it to anybody to watch it. but what this caused was people that wanted to watch skamit/enjoyed it felt the need to dismiss the issues raised by other people in the fandom. this is because 1) people were attacking them for liking skamit and 2) it’s become the culture of fandoms to demand you only enjoy things that meet an incredibly high moral ground and you have to constantly prove that the media you enjoy does that. which is such a disservice to being media literate honestly. and this kept happening. the racist, fatphobic comments, the excuse from the production about sana’s casting, the lack of any minority actors, the excluding of mahdi’s characters, the n-word being used and the mess that was the response from the cast and crew

it was one after another of things that made a number of people decided to not be a fan of skamit anymore and once they’d decided that any new thing that came out just proved to them that they were right! that skamit was racist and they were right for dropping it! but that doesn’t just end there because then it becomes anyone that supports skamit is racist and doesn’t deserve respect. and while all this is happening as every new thing happens and we all argue again about who is the most “morally superior” the fans of skamit are stepping on the toes of anyone that dares to criticize the show. they are defensive because they feel like their character is being attacked. because they feel like they have to be. and so ideologies are clashing all over the place over what is and isn’t racist, what’s good representation, what’s the importance of representation over “realism”, how realistic is skam really, you have muslims saying sana’s casting is disgraceful and muslims saying they don’t mind it, people of color saying it’s bad that there are no pocs and that sana is whitewashed and other people of color saying this isn’t a big deal because it’s realistic for italy, europeans claiming all the hate is coming from americans who live in a “us centric world” and don’t understand european views on race and europeans saying uh no i also think this is racist, italians saying this is just how italy is and italians calling all the racist stuff out. it’s just a ton of arguments that are difficult things to get people to see eye to eye on especially when it’s all over social media text and everyone feels like they have something to prove! prove the show they like is morally sound! prove they’re actually the most “woke”! prove and blame and defend and dog pile on everything! and no one is actually listening to each other because defending or shitting on a show is more important than remembering the humanity behind these arguments. remembering that there’s a person who you’re upsetting! who you are hurting because we’ve all invested too much of ourself in this!

it really bred this perfect space for back and forth arguments that went nowhere because people felt the need to tighten their hold on their own ideologies and to defend their position over any random comments they see. i’m guilty of doing this a number of times. i’ve seen a post in the skam tag and made my own post against it. i’ve seen comments on my post or people sub-blogging me and called them out to address it. this thing this show and all it’s versions are something we as fans all feel very strongly about. and this is really the only space we have to talk about it. to hash everything out. to post whatever thought we have. emotion run high! and with the anonymity of social media these arguments escalate so quickly!

i think it’s accurate to say that skamit fans are defensive. they feel like they have to be because they feel like the reasons they and the show they love are attacked are arbitrary reasons. they’ll dealt with so much criticism that any remark against skamit feels like another attack they need to defend themselves against. which has now created a culture where people are scared to say anything critical of skamit. that they’ll be deemed a hater and told “if you don’t like don’t watch”. but people don’t have to defend against every argument they see! they dont need to sit themselves on a high horse! anti skamit people are told to just leave and not bother with skamit but this goes both ways! skamit fans don’t have to address every criticism!

because of this back and forth that went no where we’ve created a culture where we can’t seem to even have discussions about the show anymore. about what we like/don’t like. what’s working and what’s not. that if you say “i don’t like this” you’ll get someone in your ask box basically saying “fuck you” because we attacked the people that wanted to enjoy the show it’s made them feel that everything is an attack. and this is a phenomenon you see across many fandoms! this morally superior hate-filled childish attacks. and at this point i don’t know if we can undo the damage that’s been done, both to how the fans of skamit view criticizers and how the people that aren’t fans view the fans. and that’s honestly really unfortunate

[sorrymomandcat]

Wed. November 6 2019

12:21AM I need a new lighters 

8:09AM 

I woke up with that feeling. 

Surprisingly not tired. 

I might be after I cry. 

Goodbye past.

4:33PM I'm starting this in my car on my anxious pressured 'break' at the ever busy Budapest. I'm gonna not. Brb.

4:55PM Okkkk, I’m going to be real with you.

I had a lot of clever ways to open this conversation but I have forgotten them since sitting in my Ferrari having not 1, but 2 smokes. You ever feel like you’re chewing on your own teeth? No? Good, that means you haven’t smoked meth for the past 255 days. To be clear- Cobain, Lampwick & The Joke are all synonyms for a former co-worker. Although the same person, they’re sort of not #mentalhealthawareness. TLDR; the more evolved part of me really hopes this guy is just a mean, jaded fucking asshole because the alternative is that they’re deeply psychotic and likely the permanent kind. Both leave little hope for improvement but the former at least KNOWS that. KNOWS I know. I could do a whole bullet-point slideshow fucking presentation on the red flags I had been seductively blindfolded to through exploitation of deepest nature and a stubborn unwillingness to accept pain and anger & I just might. I might. I might need to! I processed most of it as it was happening, denial was a bitch though. If you come from a place of; neglect, abuse and chaos but decided to assess your damages rather than project them on to innocent and typically pretty wonderful people.. then you need to equip yourself. Even if you took the more outward approach, leaving everyone in your path as empty useless collateral damage.. you could benefit as well. Tell yourself 'I’m only self-improving to gain further access and a tighter hold of my victims’ It doesn’t matter. Educate yourself on the impact of trauma/abuse/upbringing. See what happens to you. @ me. 

5:53PM There’s a lot of Construction Boyz here tonight. They hit on me and I’m all like ‘omg I smoke crystal meth and I’m in an over-sized hoodie at work with obviously contrasting roots growing in.. you have no idea how much I needed this’ hahah. Still, it’s nothing quite like the validation I get from making humble jokes to myself in my neurotic head! Where was I? Oh yeah. The Joke; Lampdick. This motherfucker fucking pulls out a REAL LIFE meth pipe, Chief Leaf right there. Of course CL is through-n-through up to date and real time a best friend without judgement, so it doesn’t reflect on me, but I’ve been fighting tooth (lol) and nail against obvious (but not blatant) disapproval toward this endeavor with Joke.. (of course gaslit with remarks like ‘fuck the haters’ ‘you’re really going to care what they say’ ‘it isn’t their relationship’ .. you’re the hater.. they treat me with consistent respect so duh.. you’re absolutely fucking right-it’s ours-and it fucking sucks because you’re an abusive psychopath.. shove that isolation groundwork technique up your) ? No respect. To pull out a fucking meth pipe after:

Day 1 appreciating we had a different DOC (drug of choice) and agreeing that use needs to be controlled in the best harm reduction sense possible & I firmly disclosed that I am 100% in no fucking way ever going to be okay with anyone-ever smoking meth near/with me. I still barely forgive the fuckers that ever let me do it - and I know full God damn well it was my choice/fault/willing action. I barely forgave myself! For letting them let me! Or that I even let me let them do it! So. No. It was immediately made clear. Day 1.  

Throughout this treachery The Joke made here-and-there comments about like “pass it this way” and “why don’t you save me any” and other repulsively ignorant and juvenile comments and my stance toward the matter remained firm. Which he always met with “yeah I know! I’m obviously joking! I agree! I would never do that to you” Like I was crazy for hardening my responses. Fucker, fucking fucker.

Seeing/hearing what I have vulnerably shared and experienced since the first day I made this choice (and I know not everyone who has/will make that choice is going to have MY experience. I’m not claiming that. I’m claiming ‘I don’t give a fuck what another person’s experience may be - I am not fucking here for it’ - ‘it’s a no from me dawg’ 

Knowing how desperately I am trying AND want AND try to want (some days it really do be like that) to stop smoking crystal. To end-all repair the damage it has done to myself, my relationships and my life. To prevent the inevitable damage that waits if I don’t. 

Not to mention all the attempts at ‘crazy making’ by exploiting my guilt and fear of potential harm: caused by crystal meth. ie; “you’re definitely sleep-stealing my keys and/or moving things because YOU’RE smoking crystal meth, and that shit is BAD bad + your traumatic childhood,’ (that he doesn’t give a fuck about unless using it against me in similar scenarios) ‘so come on. You can’t deny engaging in these behaviors, that I refuse tell you about. You meth-trauma black events out.. you’re not conscious of it because of YOUR big bad drug.” (which it is and I don’t intend to downplay it)

Seriously. These are real events & that’s just scratching the fucking surface. Note: this blog intentionally has NO followers and is ran anonymously. My intention is only to self-vindicate the man made madness I've enabled. Yet STILL it manages to drag into a month and a half of my God damn precious and OBVIOUSLY seriously fucking sensitive time. I feel NO shame for that; for struggling right now. For falling the fuck on my ass/face/faceassfuckhands onto a SERIOUSLY cemented floor! that manages to also be falling upwards into my fucking face! So instead of ceasing upon impact; continuously bashing my fucking FACE in. It fucking happens man. I fucking know that and I fucking own it as shamelessly as is safe to. Not as a way to justify where I am right now - but to foster a belief that I am worth the insidiously meticulous effort that's required to be better. In a better position to improve the quality of how I serve myself and thus actually beginning to serve those around me. Jesus shit what a Joke. I can’t believe I let myself: be treated this way, be ignorant to it, be willing to entertain the idea that maybe it was OK (even warranted).. but between you and me: I find it even harder to believe that another human being - one who has clearly been deeply wounded as well - can see the genuine sincerity of another human being’s soul and heart.. compulsively bleeding from a profundity raw enough to captivate a nihilist.. and humbly exposes it.. with nothing but purity in the regard of inherit human good.. and could intentionally stick their dirty fucking arms vigorously inside and tear at the exposed gauge made faithfully available. I’m not innocent here. But there’s no blood on my hands. I won’t point my fingers but my eyes are staring right at you. I know what you did to me. I did not agree to it. I agreed to taking the risk. Do you know what you did to me? Educate yourself. Wash your fucking hands. 

I didn’t bring any crystal to Budapest today. I didn’t know I was going to begin opening this, or I would have.

= I’ve got to go for a smokes. 

That’s enough for now. 

7:55PM I don’t know wtf but Doug offered me to get stoned and so I did outside but the guys who needed to switch rooms came back and then outside too because they insisted on my break.. Golf was looking for tape and offered me a Tim Horton’s, I said hot chocolate. Then Striped Vest guy also forever chatted and offered me a Tim Horton’s; I said hot chocolate. Still no tape and I tell him about Striped Vest and hot chocolate. He says ok. Meanwhile, Doug and his friend Chevy Lover are shooting the shit too and Doug asked for my number. Well first he asked if I was single. He asked if I was dating anybody LOL first of all I’m stoned and second of all the literal words out of my mouth were ‘everybody’ sincerely believing it as a reflection of my innocent love for life and immediately realizing that was a stupid answer so on reflex I said “no, myself. ha ha no. nobody. nope. that’s a. this guy who was my boyfriend died once. like a long time ago. no. weird. yeah it was wicked. wait what? why? but no. I don’t. not.” and I’ll never forget that or this hot chocolate. 

8:03PM Golf asked me to put his poppy on (dude you’re 51, you’ve definitely done this more than me and I HATE war) so I asked him like, when the war was and what it was called - “Oh no, I don’t know a lot about history” meanwhile a second ago he was like “I guess I should put one on because my Grandpa fought in the war” no that was you. anyways so I’m learning about WW1. You say you remember so much, name 5 of our veterans? #therealneverforget 

Disclaimer: I still haven’t read anything about it, I’m sorry to all relatives of dead soldiers I deeply condolence and RIP. No disrespect. We out here.

8:07PM Damn I really wish I had another hot chocolate.

8:39PM How is it not midnight?

[beautifulmessesofchaos]

Introduction to CHAOS: Just Right Era

(I am 110% Dae came up with the title for this mini album when she saw her new bandmembers, don’t fight me on this, I will win)

Hello Messes! It’s me, the number #1 CHAOS fan (jk we all are the #1 who am I kidding.) A quick pause between the introduction of the members, I will start a new series for each CHAOS Era thus far for both entertainment. For old Messes: let’s read this and think of all the good time when we first met CHAOS and for the new Messes: I hope this helps you understand the fam a little better.

Let’s go!

So, CHAOS debuted on the 7th of July 2020 (just two months after BTS can you imagine the stress we all had.) On that day they also released they’re first (mini) album, Pretty Woman. The album had 7 songs, three music videos and also 7 dance practices (they are called queens of fanservice for a reason.) It’s their first of three mini albums before their first big album and world tour.

Their song As If It’s Your Last got promoted as its lead single and was the first mv and performance CHAOS ever did. The tracks “Rookie” and “Just Right” were also promoted. Let me just say what a risk the band and BigHit took with having three promoted singles but boy did it work. Tbh I really think it helped become CHAOS so popular in such a short time.

However. They also made some... regrettable decisions in their first work on which we will get back soon enough. It’s not as bad as BTS’ first stuff, I don’t think Chae and Ryung would have let that happen, but still a great source for great memes.

Leading up to their debut BigHit the band posted a lot of videos and messages on their twitter and website, as well as that of BigHit itself. They are very cute and I highly recommend you watch them bc especially the maknaes were so tiny. 

Also they released a countdown clock that started on May 22nd and in between that and the actual debut, also a (teaser) trailer for the album. 

In the videos I mentioned before we see the group prepare for their debut and also introducing themselves to us. It is here that we meet the final members of the group and discover they are a 7, not 5, member group, as Pureum and Areum (the two maknaes) were added at the last second. Literally still one of the best decisions ever bc really how is CHAOS without LM and A-. I mean how. Kudos for Papa Bang.

Around that time also the concept photos were released and the track list for the album too. 

With that all said and done, let us now turn to the three music videos which represent actual CHAOS. Let me tell you at first their concept. They were going, and later it turned out this was not CHAOS’ decision but that of BigHit, for a very traditional kpop girl cute concept. 

They had three themes inside this concept and has photoshoots for them. These photoshoots are actually iconic and to this day one of the greatest thing that exist. The themes were classy cute, quirky cute and cuddly cute and just ugh, my babies.

So the As If It’s Your Last music video doesn’t really have that much of a storyline, as does their mv for Rookie. It’s mostly the band being themselves but dressed up and made-up faces in pretty, aesthetically pleasing places. But even though the mv is decent but not all that spectacular, let me just say that these girls did such an amazing job at their debut show bc damn, I think that’s where they hooked and took most of the fans they still have today. Bless them.

Rookie was just an overall gem but I don’t think anybody knew what the heck was going on there. But the mv as much as some of the band members reactions are the best and most memeful thing that happened. Especially Dae and Ryung, or DYU and RY, had a lot of problems with Rookie. Unlike their other songs, this was the only one completely written for them and I think they felt really uncomfortable with the overall very stereotypically girly feel of it. Tbh I think only Pureum and Myung really liked this song, and Dae a little later when she was told they would be flying in space aircrafts. That girl was not meant to be human, who stole this alien. But also Ryungs salt over that entire song is the only thing that keeps me alive sometimes, bless my salty child. 

The mv for Just Right, which is now also the name for that era and also was chosen as fan favourite song of the album, was released about two weeks after Rookie and about a month after their debut. 

And now let us please discuss what the hell these children are doing in that clip because honestly, I don’t even think they know. First of all, Areum in that drawer. If you stop the video as she is wiggling her legs, you can put her in the Titanic scene of “draw me like one of your French girls” and no one would notice. This child honestly. This music fit in very well with their cuddly photoshoots and chestnut haired Areum is one of the best Areums don’t argue with me. It makes her skin even paler and I think I might have a thing for people who look like corpses (looks at Min Yoongi and Park Pureum.) Plus that scene where Areum licks that yoghurt and then does that dance move is just so her: inappropriate and random. 

I am also one hundred percent convinced that Bae Ryung is the only one who can still be cool whilst sitting on a clock rapping. Like the only one. This is science, a simple fact. Even in this cute concept I think we were all quick to notice that Ryung is the only one in that entire group who is actually, none-ironically cool. 

Myung is just goals. I wish I had her as sister or as mother because I think she would be so good at it. Also her vocals are just amazing and she pulls it off to be in such a weird video without it being weird. If a tiny Myung were to walk across my desk I wouldn’t question it. 

And then we have Chae. Chae-ha who is so pretty I don’t know if I want to be her or be with her because literally I’m so confused. BigHit was very, very, very right to make her visual. I know all the girls are really, exceptionally good looking, but tbh Chae is just otherworldly. Also I just love how they gave mother Chae who, sorry Ha-ha, wasn’t that good a dancer back then, the main dancing part. 

I also think the entirety of Dae’s personality can be summed up in this one video. She lays in food, likes weird dances way too much, smiles so brightly her cheeks become too little suns and makes a mess of her sisters room. OMG I FORGOT TO SAY

THE GIRL IN THE JUST RIGHT MV IS DAE’S YOUNGER SISTER, NAYA. THE BEHIND THE SCENES OF THIS MV ARE JUST THE BEST BECAUSE THE BAE SISTERS ARE ICONIC BUT THE YU SISTERS ARE JUST AMAZING. 

Also Naya, who is still a trainee, thanking her sister and the band for letting her in the mv is the cutest thing ever I love this child she did not deserve that band she was put in and tbh I love her even more as solo artist.

But also I love Dae in this mv bc her associations with food but mainly because her of facial expressions during both dance practice and music video because I swear there is something so wrong with her face that is so right.

MOVING ON. I HAVE NOW MADE IT A LIFE GOAL TO GET MY NOSE BOPPED BY PARK PUREUM AS SHE SITS ON A HORSE. Speaking off personalities summed up, that dance she does in the car behind Chae (who looks wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too good riding that Barbie car) is so her I have been laughing for about 4 years now. 

Little Lea is so cute in this with all her oversized clothes in makes her even tinier. Also the fact she takes away that Barbie doll all sneaky is gay activity and I’m like 500% sure she did to make Dae laugh. This band is so gay Korea wasn’t ready.

But now, the first category. Style.

They kept it very very simple in this and wore a lot of blouses and sweaters (except for the two sleeveless tops Lyung and Dae wore, who do I thank?) They also kept their make-up and accessories to a very minimal. I personally think Myung and Chae played a very big part in this because they had already been idolized once before in this other girl group called “Rookie” (coincidence, I think not) and they knew how to make decisions they didn’t regret. 

Most of the members didn’t even have radical hair colours or even changed their hair colour during the duration of this album and promotion. Only Lyung, Ryung and Dae had hair changes. Lyung already had it short before debut (as had Dae) and had the same colours in As If It’s Your Last and Just Right, but had it a little darker brown in Rookie. Ryung went from silver to a light orange to a pure white between all the mvs and shows. Idk, I just think they felt like changing her hair a lot. Tbh I think the orange looked the best on her. And Dae went from a chestnut brown, to a silvery brown to a very dark brown. The styles of their hair didn’t change much either. 

Only Lyung and Dea kept it shorter and the latter was immediately exposed as having curly hair which was just very cute especially bc she was so young at that time. 

Then the second category: their personalities

This was their first era so we first got to meet CHAOS here and let me just say what babies they still were here. 

Let’s start off with our main unnie Chae-ha.Chae was quite serious in this era, always pushing the girls to do more, do better. But she also showed her insecure side sometimes because she wasn’t a very good dancer back then, but had received a couple of main dancing parts which I think really stressed her out. Also I think she took care of the band in her own very special way by protecting them from potential haters and annoying people. 

There are a couple of videos that really show her protective side and just ugh… can she be my mum. But tbh I really think Chae was under a lot of pressure to take care of this chaos of girls as the oldest and because she had some real kpop experience. 

Myung was very quiet in this era but I think it suited her very well too. Her concept is very cute so she owned in a very natural way. She was also such a responsible sister in this era, helping Chae out so much by getting these girls ready. This is also the era where we see her bond with Ryung very much, who was having a lot of trouble getting adjusted to the attention and lifestyle and I swear their relationship is just goals. 

But Myung is such a sweetie and I honeslty can’t imagine anybody ever being mad or upset at her. She also told the fans that she was so happy to be in a group with people she could finally call friends and feel safe around because I think she felt very out of place during her “Rookie” days. Overall just such a sweet person I can’t. 

Lyung and Dae were the first members of the sunshine squad and really they resemble over excited puppies ever since, because that really hasn’t changed. It is clear immediately that Lyung, stagename: Lea, is a very down to earth person, very different than her sister, and a very supportive person. She is actually also very vocal of how hard the trainee time is and how lucky she is to share it with her sister. 

Also her doing some her old songs with Dae from their “Hyped” days can literally resurrect people. But she is also one of the sole reasons the band worked from the beginning because she had rules and schedules from day one bc tbh I think the band might have fallen apart without her, I mean they are a literal chaos. 

Her sister Ryung is the opposite and also nicknamed the Salt of the group. A lot of people dislike her for being quite negative over the group and the other members and their work but tbh I really just think she wanted to prove to everyone she could be successful and was very hard on herself because she wanted to succeed to desperately. 

In like behind the scenes you might get the wrong impression of her but I assure you that when you watch some of their vlogs and videos of the CHAOS household it will change your mind. She is such a cuddly and soft person really she just has trouble showing it. 

As much as I love BigHit and Mr. Bang for all they have done for both CHAOS and BTS, I really just want to know who the hell came up with the plan to make Dae the leader of the group as she is one of the maknaes. But tbh I think Dae was very brave these first few months because she immediately came out and took all the hate like a pro and also kudos for the other members for supporting her so much. 

But really I just like her humour and especially her cheeks because they are so round and full and she’s just such an overall squishy person. Let me also add that now I am so glad Dae is the leader because she’s doing such a good job at it.

Areum is the oldest of the maknae and can, still, go from being very very deep and mysterious to very very dirty. She’s such a meme honestly and I love her both during the late night videos of her questioning everything and everyone but also as the one who makes so many jokes with Dae about their lengths or about the lengths of the other, shorter, members. 

She is very much a member that if I think Lyung and Chae wouldn’t have been around, she wouldn’t have made it because she really needs structure and clarity and I’m just glad she had five amazing unnies to guide her because I love her so much in this band. 

Baby Pureum, or Little Monster as she is also called, is really the baby of the group. On camera she is a very good dancer, like amazing is an understatement, and makes inappropriate jokes and tries to really fit in with the older unnies, off camera and especially without the other members, she was a very shy and insecure person who really was the youngest member. 

She was our bias is so many things in the beginning I think it was a lot for her to handle, but she did and I’m so proud of her. Also let me just say that if Ryung and Myung were the first ship to sail in this fandom, they are closely, closely, followed by the Pureum and Dae ship because honestly these two are so shippable there were so many rumours they were dating it was unreal.

Category three, memorable moments

- The CHAOS household where there was one golden rule: WHEN IT COMES TO HOUSEHOLDING, YOU LISTEN TO BAE LYUNG.

- Pureum and Dae sharing a bed and the first time Lyung found them in the same bed

- “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY DID IN THAT BED!”

- Chae cooking for her children

- Myung baking cookies for her children

- Those times where Myung and Dae were stuck in the studio writing and the others waited for them with re-heated dinner in their pyjama’s

- Ryung always near Myung

- Areum and Dae always having a shorter member lean on them when doing anything tbh

- Baby pureum commanding the others to drink and eat enough, literally splashing water in their face when they don’t do it with a plant spray

- “I have thirsty” when she finally needs a sip of water herself

- Dae’s coming out + all the supportive things the members said

- “Is she gay? I mean, maybe you’re gay? Huh, maybe you’re gay and you don’t want anyone to know so you’re asking Dae but we’ve figuring you out. Check and mate.”

- The birth of ryung’s eyerolls

- Chae’s panic face whenever dealing with the girls

And that was that for this era. See you in the next!