#literally a character kept telling me how much he loved me and how bright i was and that hes sorry he wont be around longer and just-

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “i just wanna be your favorite…” ⭐️🎀💍

• which fictional characters is your person most like?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i also just wanna say thank y'all from the bottom of my heart for the support <3 it means so much to me. enjoy!

pile 1 💸 —

"i can't wait 'til i get you on the floor, good-looking. hey, going hot, so hot, just like an oven. and ow! burned myself, i just had to touch it. but it's so fire, and it's all mine."

hiii pile 1! let me start off by saying your person is one fineeee m'fer! they look straight out of an old hollywood movie. suit & tie by justin timberlake ft. jay z won't stop playing in my head lol, their vibe is literally that song. they're gonna love taking you out to fun events and showing you off to people hehe i heard "trophy wife." this isn't in a superficial way by any means, they just really love how you look and how bright your personality shines. you have a mesmerizing appearance and an extraordinary personality to match. i feel like your eyes or their eyes is another main focus that will garner lots of compliments. ok, wow. back to the topic at hand! the characters i channeled were jay gatsby from ‘the great gatsby’, lon hammond from ‘the notebook’, and napoleon solo from ‘the man from U.N.C.L.E.’ now of course your person may not exactly look like these characters but the ✨vibes✨ are very much there. you're gonna have the time of your life with this person lol they are so damn fun and charismatic. i can hear them teasing you and and saying "don't be a brat, baby." with a sly smirk on their face LOL they're gonna make you feel so tingly and giddy inside ahhh. i feel like it was hard for them to settle down before you came into their life pile 1. they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. i mean this person could honestly have whatever they want, but you actually make them work for this relationship and they're not used to that. people (romantically and platonically) just fall for them at the drop of a dime because they are just so damn sexy, and it doesn't help that they're good with their words and actions. i just heard smooth operator by sade and ego by beyoncé at the same time lol this person is seriously a charmer! they can't help it though, they just love to socialize and have a good time. on the flip side, this sometimes weighs them down. the constant attention and socializing can make them feel overwhelmed at times. i'm thinking of ‘the great gatsby’ when jay kept throwing elaborate parties and inviting thousands of people to attend them, so that he could eventually catch daisy's attention. i'm hearing "when you're happy, they're happy!" random thought, but for some of you…your person could be from the UK/have a thick british accent. i also feel like your person is funny af, they've got jokes for dayssssss. they honestly take nothing serious…like if either of you had a bad day at work or just in general, TRUST that they will find a way to turn it around. like it'll actually amaze you how they just go through life vibing and you'll just be like how??? and i can hear them saying "i don't know, babe. i just got it like that." lol they're so cocky (but in an annoyingly hot way) you will never be able to stay mad at them. like if you were being petty and giving them the silent treatment for whatever reason…i can see you getting ready and they'd come up all close behind you, arms around your waist, kissing your neck and they'd be like "you still mad at me, baby?" and your brain would literally malfunction like €|>~€\€,\!|!]€]€YESNOYESNO.!:!,&:’ i'm crying this is hilarious. never a dull moment with them, pile 1. i'm telling ya!

other channeled messages:

theme from new york, new york by frank sinatra, gene kelly, tuxedo, her way by partynextdoor, sophisticated, expensive cologne, j'adore dior, pearly white teeth, cartier watch, swarovski crystals, meet me on the dance floor, babydoll by mariah carey, british, sprinter by dave & central cee, love island, damson idris, i'll make it happen, ballin’ by partynextdoor, diamonds are a girl's best friend

pile 2 💣 —

“who wants that perfect love story anyway, anyway. cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché. who wants that hero love that saves the day, anyway cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché.”

okayyyy pile 2, i see y'all with the bonnie and clyde vibes! let's buckle down and get serious though. i already feel like your person is very misunderstood. they might've had a rough childhood growing up or possibly struggled with connecting to their family. they feel like they fuck things up? they kinda think to themselves "why should i even try to be in a relationship, i'm a mess. i mess things up." it's actually sad because i feel like they're a great person (very soft and gentle) and when things go left/don't work out they immediately blame themselves because the blame was always put on them as a child. i'm hearing it's a "trauma response" :( aw pile 2 i feel like crying…your person really takes it on the chin and keeps it pushing. i can see them sitting on porch steps, gazing at the skyline and kinda just shrugging saying "that's just life i guess." they tend to self-sabotage before things even go into motion but before you two meet, they'll be pushed to confront their problems/fears. they have this cool, in-control, idgaf type of vibe on the outside but internally it's the opposite. i'm hearing pretty little fears by 6lack ft. j cole wow pile 2 they'll really have a soft spot for you. the characters i channeled were damon salvatore from ‘the vampire diaries’, luke glanton from ‘the place beyond the pines’ and tyler durden from ‘fight club’ which are some pretty complex personalities whew. your person is a loner by default, they feel like they really can't depend on many people. they've been left out in the cold so many times it's like they had no other choice but to become independent fast. when they meet you, pile 2…you're going to awaken them. i'm hearing j cole's verse in pretty little fears, “i'm loving your light, vulnerable. letting your guard down is honorable. 'specially when the past ain't been that friendly to you, but…there's magic in that.” it's gonna be insane to them how someone like you could display so much love, care and devotion towards them. i can see them keeping a really cute picture of you (or you two together) in their wallet/bag and just staring at it with a small smile on their face. you give them so much hope pile 2. they never knew they were capable of such strong emotions; love, happiness, joy. i can see you two laughing about something…you have this big grin on your face and when you turn your head to look at them, you just see them with a dopey smile on their face and a glint in their eyes just staring at you in awe. and you're just like "what?" but you don't even know how much you really mean to them in that moment. I'M ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS PLS I CAN'T. they're not used to anything stable, but you give them hope and anticipation for their future…with you. y'all are going to have to have so many enlightening, deep and forward-thinking conversations. i see them holding your hand and kissing your knuckles, taking random drives at night together while blasting music and going to the movies and talking/debating afterwards about what you hated and what you loved. k i'm crying, bye!

other channeled messages:

west coast by lana del rey, west side, successful relationship, turning tables by adele, cigarettes out the window by tv girl, well my boyfriend's in a band, ultraviolence album, someone like u (interlude) by ariana grande, toxic upbringing, scorpio moon, aries, smoking weed, american psycho, it's a forever thing

pile 3 🐚 —

“every little thing you do got me feeling some type of way. when you gimme that thunder you make my summer rain.”

welcome to your reading pile 3! idk why i wanted to say pile 333 hehe let's take that as a sign that you're about to meet your person soon. your person is so easy-going…like their energy feels so carefree and warm; like a nice summer breeze (i feel like some of you that chose this pile watch/really love the summer i turned pretty) i can see your person adjusting their sunglasses and saying "i'm just happy to be here." they're such a vibe lol. ok and why did i just randomly hear "no you're cute jeans." their sense of humor is so sjhfjdjcjdsn y'all are gonna have a lot of inside jokes together; internet memes especially. that "i'm sorry, i'm just in a silly goofy mood" shemar moore video just popped up in my head LMFAOOOO your person is hilarious pile 3. i channeled johnny storm from ‘fantastic four’, chad meeks-martin from ‘scream vi’, stefan salvatore from ‘the vampire diaries’ and conrad fisher from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ which are all pretty different but i see the vision pile 3…i see the vision. i feel like your person has just gotten back to themselves, because for awhile they weren't this upbeat and silly. i feel like this has to do with a past hurt/betrayal from either a friend or an ex-lover…that person took them for granted and made them feel small. i just randomly heard "katherine pierce" so maybe that person was very sneaky and never had good intentions in the first place. when they're with you though, they feel like a moth drawn to a flame. best friend by 50 cent just came to mind, "if i was your best friend, i want you 'round all the time. (i want you 'round me all the time) girl, i'll be your best friend if you promise you'll be mine (girl, promise you'll be mine)." i see you both posting funny photo dumps of you two together on instagram/instagram stories. i feel like y'all will be a PDA couple, and even if you aren't one of those type of people that likes all that…they're definitely gonna make you so happy that people visibly see the love between the two of you. i can see them kissing the side of your head, you slightly leaning into them…them giving you their hoodie/jacket to wear when you're cold. it's subtle things like that 🥹 so so so cute. you two have a very sacred, beautiful and divinely protected relationship. your person will be very generous with their time, money and love when it comes to you pile 3.

other channeled messages:

there goes my baby by usher, one in a million by ne-yo, connie baby, it's your world i'm just living in it, positions by ariana grande, unlock it by charlie xcx ft. kim petras & jay park, right my side by nicki minaj ft. chris brown, long walks on the beach, forever boy, vintage camera/digital camera, breakin’ my heart (pretty brown eyes) by mint condition, taylor swift, peter parker

pile 4 🌹—

“moment of honesty. someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be? i'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me. if you have something to say, you should say it right now.”

heyyy pile 4. i'm kinda stunned rn cause your person is sooooooooo captivated by you. like they wanted to skip all the bullshit and get right into it, and honestly…i #respect it. they think you're an absolute badass, you handle tough situations with so much grace. i'm hearing "you're better than me." lol they play no games pile 4, especially when it comes to you! i'm hearing that you've been through a lot, and it hasn't been easy for you to get to the point in your life that you're at now. they just wanna kiss you and make everything better. kiss it better by rihanna just started playing, "kiss it, kiss it, better baby." yeah your person is sensual af pile 4, it's givingggg taurus vibes. this is random af but i feel like they really love your back? if you wear a backless top or a backless dress, they will go absolutely FERAL. like fingers ghosting down your spine, their lips kissing down your neck…and don't get me started on the eye contact. their gaze is INTENSE. i’m hearing lyrics from nobody by selena gomez, "no kiss, no lips, no feel, no rush can keep me high, i swear no one…can love me like you do. can love me like you do, no." the characters i channeled were tobias eaton from ‘divergent’ and anakin skywalker from ‘star wars prequel trilogy’ which is so on brand. those 2 did not play about tris and padmé, ok?! you are their whole world pile 4. if it's not you, they don't want it. they feel so relaxed around you…like they can finally breathe. i can see them standing in a serious stance (obviously tense af) pondering about something and you just come behind them and wrap them in a big bear hug and they just…melt. they finally take that deep breath that they didn't even realize they were holding in for so long. they usually keep their feelings to themselves, but you create such a great safe space for them to be so open, honest and vulnerable; and vice versa. i'm also hearing that they are a very hands-on type of person, so whatever you need done/fixed, they sure as hell will find a way to do it for you. i can also see you two chilling/relaxing together a lot. don't get me wrong this person will always find something for you two to do, but there's something about that downtime (watching a movie while cuddled up with you on the couch, spending time with you and your loved ones/friends or taking a late night drive with you) that makes them think to themselves, "damn i really love life." 😮‍💨 you've got them locked in pile 4. it's so sweet & amazing.

other channeled messages:

1 of 1, peppers by lana del rey ft. tommy genesis, skywalker by miguel ft. travis scott, adore by cashmere cat ft. ariana grande, it's us against the world baby, 90210, pisces, dream guy, sauvage cologne, miss dior, sagittarius rising, virgo's groove by beyoncé, 1:11, best i ever had (remix) by drake & nicki minaj, all i want is you by miguel ft. j cole, bouquet of flowers, tennis bracelet, wild thoughts by dj khaled ft. rihanna & bryson tiller, cpr by summer walker

[portraitofadyke]

what's been bugging me is how some people, especially steddyhands shippers, seem to ignore Stede's complete blind spot that is Ed. I've been rereading some post s1 fix-its, and it's amazing how almost every one of their reunions had Stede blaming Ed for marooning the crew and attempting to kill Lucius (same with ppl's expectation that there would be some sort of physical fight). And then he just. Doesn't.

Stede obviously cares for the crew. A lot. But the moment Ed's well being is in the picture, he becomes hyperfocused on Ed and Ed only. Obviously the crew told him about being marooned, but we don't see him mention that once in his letters. They reunite with Lucius, and yet all Stede talks about is Ed (and his poor portrayal on his wanted posters)- Lucius confesses about Ed throwing him overboard, and all Stede does is question 'why?', because he knows Ed wouldn't just randomly attempt to murder Lucius. The moment Lucius tells him Stede broke Ed, Stede is back to blaming himself, never Ed. He clearly cares about Lucius, because later in the ep, he tries to reconcile with him by giving him 'dating advice' and trying to save him from what happened to him and Ed, but Ed comes first.

We actually see it in s1 too, if only briefly, in s7 when Stede desperately tries to keep Ed abroad and becomes oblivious to the crew's concerns and problems and we get the iconic line "Eat and apple, for God's sake!" Stede cares, but Ed is at the front of his mind and it's hard for him to understand what could be more important.

In s02e03, he gets his ship and the rest of his crew back, but Ed is nowhere. Izzy is literally missing a leg and Stede just tells him to piss off.

And I've seen people questioning why Stede never questioned that, why he never bothered to ask about Izzy's missing toe or back scars or why he didn't care about the leg more. Izzy clearly lies again and tells Stede Ed shot it off because he told Ed he loves him, and yet stede just. Doesn't care.

And i mean, that question is valid. Because people see Stede as someone who's much more caring, more hero-coded. But Stede is far more a romantic hero to Ed than he is your general hero to the rest of the characters. Stede is selfish. Stede is blind-sided. Stede is willing to abandon his morals when it comes to Ed.

I think there are two reasons Stede doesn't question Izzy's Ed-inflicted-injuries, or any other, for that matter. First one is, Stede's blind spot for Ed. Yeah, Izzy got his leg shot off by Ed (not entirely true, but I digress), but there must have been a reason why. Yeah, Izzy got his toes cut off and hand-fed, but Ed had a reason. Stede knows Ed is not violent by default, so he knows something must have prompted him to do that. Is it completely justified? That's a differenr convo about people trying to portray Izzy as a victim rather than someone who kept pushing Ed over the edge until they were both too far.

The second is... Yeah, Stede just doesn't care. Especially about Izzy. Lie it's been pointed out, Stede just thinks izzy is a dick. He misnames him. He's rightuflly mad at him for selling them out to the english. He literally dreams about killing Izzy for that. Stede blames himself for abandoning Ed and everything that happened after (and yes, Ed's actions are Ed's actions, but that's how Stede sees it), but he clearly also blames Izzy for setting them up.

So, Stede sees Izzy's missing leg? Probably deserved that. Back scars, missing toe? Eh, probably deserved that, too, Ed would look absolutely lovely in a braid. Is that morally correct? No, but Stede isn't written to be a moral character. That's what makes him so real, and that's why so many other actors than Rhys would struggle making Stede sympathetic and likeable to the audiences.

That's not to say Stede doesn't see Ed's wrongs. He absolutely does. He just. Doesn't care that much in the end, because his love for all of Ed is that bright, to the point of being absolutely, utterly selfish. DJenkins said it from the beginning; this show is about Ed and Stede's relationship. Stede doesn't question Izzy's injuries bc in the end, it just doesn't matter to him when Ed is in the picture

[somewhereincairparavel]

General Jason Grace headcanons ⚡

⚡ I feel like he's kinda sensitive. He isn't the crier type of sensitive tho but since he's super emotionally attuned to body language reading and stuff, he gets a little hurt easily, sometimes misinterpreting someone's behaviour to him, so maybe if one of his friend's start getting snappy with him because they're having a bad day, he'd actually be pretty damn upset about it, but would hide it.

⚡ Also also, this man HATES being yelled at. Sure, he's been trained harshly and stuff but he's very hard on himself too so I feel like if someone yells at him (like in an argument or something) the poor boy's whole day would be ruined.

⚡ This is also why I feel like he NEVER raises his voice harshly at anyone even if he's super super angry because he knows how much damage yelling can do.

⚡ But. He can still manage to be terrifying if he's mad. He'd have that intense icy stare directed at the person (I'm pretty sure this is canon and is pointed out by multiple characters in the books). And his voice would be steady but VERY firm and strong. Kinda like a strict dad.

⚡ Also, his eyes would get a slight shade lighter if he's super angry. Like he usually has bright electric blue eyes right? It would just turn into ice colured ones.

⚡ Okay I feel like before they all go to bed, he'd go check on everyone in the Argo ii to see if they're comfortable or if they need anything, etc. definitely an overbearing mother friend tbh. He gets this habit from camp Jupiter where he was kinda in charge for cabin rounds since he was centurion.

⚡ I hc him to have like lemony yellow hair, instead of platinum or golden blonde. It's not too light but it isn't dark either.

⚡ Why do I feel like sun tan literally never affects this guy? Like for instance, I totally hc that percy gets tanned pretty quickly, but this man's skin just wouldn't budge. Instead of his body getting tanned I feel like his hair would get a few yellow shades darker instead lol

⚡ I felt like he'd be sunburnt instead tho. There would be blotchy pink patches on his face and arms after he comes back from the beach.

⚡ He definitely LOVES his roman baths, could spend hours in that bath (honestly if u guys have seen traditional Roman baths, you'd know that they look like a spa day DREAM omg) so he would feel super disoriented when he has regular baths in chb instead and would miss Roman baths SO badly.

⚡ Like the Roman baths literally ease his muscle tension after a long day. It would be like the only part of the day in camp Jupiter that would actually feel relaxing for him.

⚡ He's such a foodie okay. Remember how he kept munching on his brownies religiously when the crew were in such a dangerous situation? ("Pass me the brownies bro") or when he loved the sweet stuff the snake people had made for them? Like food just makes him forget his duties and be a kid for once.

⚡ Which leads us to our next hc, he has such a sweet tooth! (Tho I feel like this was aluded many times in the books aswell). Like he's every dentist's nightmare tbh. He has like teeth stains which he'd deliberately try to get rid of by aggressively brushing his teeth (it does come off lol)

⚡ As opposed to what people usually assume about him. Jason is secretly such a hopeless romantic tbh. Nothing like his dad in that category. Remember how he snuck Piper out the window, led her into his secret rooftop passage simply to recreate their first kiss under the stars, since Piper was super upset about it being fake? Yeah, he hates upsetting his s/o. he's like super thoughtful and plans stuff like these days ahead so he doesn't forget :(

⚡ He's such a people pleaser even with people he barely knows, and the effect only doubles when he has a partner tbh. Like if his partner doesn't like a particular place? He won't like it either. So he needs someone to encourage him and tell him it's okay to like something the others dislike.

⚡ Which is also why I think that he'd be easier to emotionally guilt trip and manipulate. :(( somone wrap him up in a fluffy blanky pls

⚡ As opposed to canon, I feel like Jason only dislikes Camp Jupiter, not New Rome itself. He ADORES that place to shreds. I feel like instead of settling in a mortal area or something, he'd definitely stay in New Rome for long-term living (bc screw canon, him wanting to leave new Rome all together seems SO ooc to me idk) some parts of his roman self would ALWAYS be there tbh. That place was practically his home. Also, he only wants a peaceful, monster free life right? New Rome would obviously provide with all that, yk since they have a strong barrier for the city to prevent invasion.

⚡ He would have an aptitude for sculpting statues and stuff. He'd love to do it as a hobby, not like an architect or something like annabeth tho. He made such cool dioramas for his shrine ideas, so I feel like he just pours his heart and soul into making cool sculptures.

⚡ He would totally study in law school. His dad's legit the god of justice, he's a great speaker, can hold debates calmly, can canonically hear both sides of an argument before coming to a decision, seems very lawyer coded.

⚡ But he'd also be a good history professor. Have yall heard his yapping? Leo called him professor Grace for how much dedication he goes into explaining roman history. And he genuinely LOVES it. A very passionate teacher material to me.

⚡ Also, all he wants is for his partner to listen to him talk :( he has SO much to say but he feels like no one listens, so hed literally cry if someone takes interest in his long explanations (kind of like annabeth in this tbh)

⚡ Also, Octavian can NEVER argue with Jason because that man is just THAT good at smart and witty answers that even octavian saw him as a threat.

[hollowwrites]

Meet the MCs

I’ve been suffering from the worst Art block since I’ve been playing Hogwarts Legacy but I’m such a visual person I NEED to see my characters to imagine them doing stuff. So here’s AI Art of my MCs and a little info on them all, accompanied by poorly drawn Wands and their partners wands (I tried to get them to match I hope that’s obvious (Other than Evelyns but that’s just cause I thought it was pretty)

(Also just as a blanket HC for all characters because I live blissfully in denial of the actual ending of the game, Anne’s curse is semi cured after Rookwood dies so each MC has a way of prolonging the Catacomb mission until this happens.)

Evelyn Hollow

Slytherin, Muggleborn, x Ominis Gaunt

“Aaaaand wouldn’t you like to show Sebastian just how much he’s annoyed you these past few years. It’s a great stress relief pummelling him into the ground”

Is a Slytherin because: Pride. Otherwise a total Hufflepuff. Exceptionally prideful to a fault. Won’t ask for help for anything from anyone.

Mother passed away before coming to Hogwarts in Fifth Year, Never knew her father

Cares for Anne after the events of HL

Her wand is a bird skull. She assumes it’s because her mother used to call her ‘Dove’ when she was little because her hair was bright white.

Became close with Ominis after: The Common Room. Love at first sight obviously. He offered to help her whilst she was at her most overwhelmed. After the events of the Scriptorium, they only became closer and it enabled them to slap some sense into Sebastian.

Her and Ominis confronted Sebastian to get the book and Relic from him. I’ve wrote about it like 80 times I’m very passionate about saving Seb!!

See: All of my Ominis content is with Evelyn. She my main baybee

Maeve Bramford

Hufflepuff, Half-blood, x Garreth Weasley

“Chompers? You named it? It’s a cabbage” Garreth asked, a confused knot forming over his brow.

“It’s a very good cabbage”

Is a Hufflepuff because: Patience. She has to, to be with Garreth.

Completely clueless about magic despite having a wizarding Father. They kept magic from her from fear of her feeling inadequate and due to her fathers family disowning him for being with a muggle.

Avid Herbologist

Became close with Garreth after: some point after her first Herbology and Potions lesson. My HC for her is that she met Garreth going to Hogsmeade and so when she got introduced to the Room of Requirement and started growing her own plants she immediately started dealing providing ingredients to Garreth leading to lots of late night experimental sessions and lots of trips to the Hospital Wing.

Prevented Sebastian from going insane by telling Garreth everything that happened. Him and Sebastian are good friends (don’t fight me on this) so having Maeve, Garreth, Ominis and Anne overwhelm him caused him to breakdown and stop using Salazars Spellbook.

See: The Gardener and The Alchemist

~

Victoria Grey

Gryffindor, Pureblood, x Sebastian Sallow

Is a Gryffindor because: Determination.

Very popular immediately in Hogwarts. Literally the worst person for Sebastian to be with, with his Jealousy but…hey ho…who doesn’t love a little drama.

Sketches constantly. Spent a lot of time with him in the Undercroft drawing and studying.

Talked Sebastian out of his Dark Magic BS immediately. She sat sketching with him whilst he studied in the Undercroft and whilst he mumbled to himself about dark sacrifices and inferi relics she just argued with him until he saw reason. She probably agreed with a lot of what he was doing so when she said ‘No’ to him it was a gut punch. They stopped speaking for a few days (not very long but if they’re together everyday?) until Sebastian broke into the Gryffindor Common Room to see her and apologise and told her he wanted to get rid of the book.

Becomes close with Sebastian after: becoming Crossed Wand Champion. Sebastian argues with Lucan that she shouldn’t be considered champion until they duelled each other. Immediate regret. Gets annihilated…again. Worse after she has her own wand.

See: I DONT HAVE ANYTHING WITH HER IN!!! I’m very new to being a Seb girly so hopefully soon. I have a request that could be her…

Masterlist

[poisonpercy]

Watching episode 1, here are my thoughts

Baby Percy is adorable. They did amazing casting for younger Percy because how are you going to tell me that’s not Walker Scobell

Percy is low key a good artist. His drawings of the monsters he’s seeing are way better than I expected

Grover and Percy, my cuties 🥹🥹

Percy looking at the Perseus statue has me bawling my eyes out

That quote about how everyone who looks like a hero isn’t a hero and how everyone who looks like a monster isn’t a monster is very good. That very much is the core of pjo

Nancy Bobofit is perfect lmao

I don’t like Chiron giving Percy Riptide when he did. I like how it’s done in the books better

Percy and Grover switching items of their sandwiches is so cute. Besties

The fountain scene is funny ngl. It looked so fake 💀

The Mrs. Dodds fight scene was lame

“Is he dead?” Lol

Chiron and Grover and their gaslight gatekeep girlboss moment. Poor Percy

Grover how dare you betray Percy in the principal’s office 😭😭 I would never forgive him for that if I was Percy

“At least I know you think you didn’t.” I’M GOING TO BITE CHIRON’S HEAD OFF

No Greyhound bus scene? No Percy seeing the fates cut the string? No Grover saying that it’s always 6th grade? Those scenes shouldn’t have been cut wtf

Eddie is nice??

Why is Gabe funny? He’s supposed to be an asshole, he’s not supposed to be funny

Sally listening to Olivia Rodrigo while sitting in the rain is stupid. THEY CUT THE WHOLE GREYHOUND BUS SCENE BUT ADD THIS??? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

Blue jellybeans 🥺🥺

Why are Sally and Gabe low key friends?? How is his murder via Medusa’s head justified with this behavior? Gabe better get worse

The show is too dark. I have my laptop at full brightness and it’s still hard to see

Why is Sally telling Percy about his dad being a god while at Montauk? I like how it happens in the book better

“You feel in love with God? Like Jesus?” Lol

No because why is Percy being told everything before even leaving Montauk? He should be in the dark and have his life flipped upside while he’s grieving Sally at camp

“Why are you telling me this?” <- I would also like the answer to that question

“Grover, why is there half a goat in your pants?” Idk but something about how that line is phrased is hilarious

The car scene is literally so dark. I can’t see anything that is happening

“I’m actually 24.” Grover, now is not the time to explain the weird aging of satyrs

Why is Sally putting so much pressure on Grover. That’s not Sally 🤨 I like Sally’s actress but I don’t think the people in the writer’s room get her character

This pacing is wack. Literally why is everything moving so fast??

I don’t like that Percy has Riptide during the fight with the Minotaur. Actually, I don’t like the fight scene at all. It’s so boring and I can hardly see what’s happening

Overall, it’s cute. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it. I’m going to be honest, I don’t care about the characters or story so far because I feel like I’m being told I should care, but not shown why I should care. The pacing is horrible so far. Everything is moving too fast. The show also suffers from having horrible lighting. It’s hard to care about what’s happening when you can’t see what’s happening on the screen. It’s all very boring right now. Where’s the chaos that kept me hooked the first time?? Actors are great, I’ll give them that. But the show is so far not doing it for me

[mihai-florescu]

Taking this as opportunity to ask what in the world mhyk is about all I know is there is a guy and he is ourple and you like him please enlighten me (when you have the energy to) so I will in the future know what you are talking about in more comprehensive ways

Yayayay ok so mahoyaku is actually an isekai game where mc, named akira (you can choose whether you want them to be a guy or a girl), gets summoned as a sage to another world. The sage is in charge of and helps 20 wizards tasked to protect the world by fighting the moon, which attacks every year. The world is made up of 5 countries, each with distinct characteristics, and the wizards hailing from those countries resemble their country personality wise. The recent moon attack is worse than usual, killing half of the prior wizards, injuring the rest and setting the world out of order (which the chosen wizards then travel to help fix and build positive reputations in the people's eyes).

Mahoyaku to me so far is an amalgamation of fairytales and stories, which you can tell from the characters' names themselves in the first place. Further smarter posts and analysis will come after i read every main story and anniversary story, for now i just have certain feelings and impressions... Murr definitely knew more about the nature of their world im so sure of it. And i suspect the moon is very much sentient... but thats just a theory. A game theory.

Anyway. Murr! I think you'd adore him too... he got his soul shattered by the moon^_^ he's also in love with the moon, the one that attacks the world every year. He is, was, is a genius, always seeking fascinating things. A lot of various plot points and events go back to his meddling, i think you'd like him in the same way you like eichi for his indispensable role to the story's existence. At least that's part of why i like him. The other part is that he's an annoying kitty cat. Annoying to others, not to me. He could never be annoying to me...

Let's seee i think you'd find murr and shylock's relationship just as fascinating as i do. The love & hate, the power dynamics, shylock's devotion to building murr back up to his former self by piecing together his soul again, complete with reraising him back into a person, his own desires and ways becoming part of this new murr... nature vs nurture babyy. At once missing the old murr, loathing him, wanting him back, living with the new one who professes his love for shylock when asked, "what i hate the most about him is that he knows i love him"... it's a lot and i think you'd have a field day with these 2:)

As for other characters... i think you'd like revgumi too. Faust, figaro, lennox. I do suspect you'd like figaro the most... maybe. Im a faust girlie, but this won't mean anything to you. The tldr of the revolution is that faust and alec were childhood friends, believed in wizards and humans working together, and fought to establish the central country. Figaro became faust's magic mentor, and lennox became faust's personal attendant in that period. But alec starts doubting wizards eventually, and sentences his old friend to be burned at the stake. Faust never believed he'd go through with it so he didnt try to escape, not even when lennox wanted to help him... and all of this is kept hidden from the history books... figaro, who had envisioned a bright future with faust as his apprentice leaves seeing that faust will always choose alec first even when alec is literally killing him, faust disappears, becoming a hermit curseworker, and lennox seeks to find faust again for centuries, eventually becoming a sheppard in the south. His magical item is still that key to faust's prison cell... and through fate they all meet again as sage's wizards. Well, lennox and faust actually had quite a peaceful life in the south for a while before they get summoned, it makes me think of how bittersweet it mustve been at first that both people who wouldve liked for faust to be there with them were reunited, without faust...

Okayy i think i yapped enough. Im having a lot of fun exploring this world and its characters, there are plenty of interesting locations and npcs to make it rich and vibrant. Id say overall if there was one thing that stands out to me in all these stories is that love and grief are 2 sides of the same coin. And something something the fear of being loved, the uncertainty and mortifying ordeal of baring your soul and tying yourself to another, in this world where you're immortal and have seen countless people come and go. Here, a wizard's promise is a very big commitment, failing to fulfill it leads to losing one's magic. There's such a scenario waiting to happen to mithra, who promised tiletta to protect her kids, all while the youngest is fated to kill every southern wizard, which would include his brother. It's a losing game for mithra whether the prophecy comes true or he is killed before... Fate is also quite a big theme. I hope i managed to make you curious but also explain enough :)

[starythewriter]

KINKMAS 15 thor x you thor falls for a goddess.

TW:MINORS DNI

A/N: YALL BEFORE YOU READ, I AM HOLDING A VOTE ON 6 NEW CHARACTERS THAT I SHOULD WRITE FOR IF YOU WANNA VOTE, INBOX ME WITH THE CHARACTER OR PERSON YOU WANT ME TO WRITE FOR, IT CAN BE ANYONE, BRYCE PARKER, JACOB DAY, OR ROMAN REIGNS. ANYBODY!

you got up, feeling amazing, but somewhat nervous as you had a date with the god of thunder and storms. you had some nice pink classy heels. preparing for this date was nerve wrecking usually you didn't care or give much importance however, this was the god of thunder, he was handsome and so hot.

THOR's pov: I got ready to see the beautiful Y/N, I was excited but a little nervous the goddess was hot and known for seduction, tricks and leaving men in love with her for years.

your POV: you were anxious "I need to make a good impression" your friend alex came bursting in. "I already know how you are. everything will be ok…" you gave a nervous chuckle "how do you know?" "because, you've literally done this hundreds of times you do not need to worry what's so special about him anyways?"

"because alex… hes the god of thunder, and war. he's mighty hes not just a normal everyday person" you said as you put on some eyelinear. you stared at alex through the mirror. she smiled "really? you will be fine." if anything goes wrong I will be there" you were ready, you went to asgard, seeing thor.

"hey Y/N. how are you?" "im good how are you?" "im great here lets order some drinks" alex stayed back watching, she saw an amazing garden and went to check it out. you saw as thor snapped his fingers ordering a sex on the beach his buttoned up shirt tighted around his large biceps and his veiny wrists. you smiled ordering a martini. "you rule all of asgard?" "yes of course darling…" he gave you a bright smile that made your heart light up. he set his drink down explaining how much he loved his place. as he set his drink down you noticed his biceps, your eyes fluttered as he stared into your soul.

"I know you are well versed in glamour and seduction…" he said with curiosity. his eyes were searching deeply for a response. "yes I am, I dont rule much but Ive been known to seduce any man ive come into contact with. sometimes it depends, some men easily get sucked in, but some need some risk, like showing off my potions of posion."

"I see… I can see the intrigue… I wouldnt say thats totally fair tho as you are a ruler of all men in a way." he said finishing up his drink, giving you a glint within his eyes, you finished up your drink.

you both ordered a 2nd round. you were beyond attracted to thor… his blond hair, his perfect biceps the way that he dressed all of it. "tell me how has the progress with asgard been ever since its destruction" you saw a lump build in his throat. "pretty good…" he said stumbling on his words. "its been rough with architecture but the progress has been fast" he said a little shocked at the question. you saw alex, she had found some pumpkins and she kept looking at how beautiful things were. but they were also far apart, this place was far beyond what you imagined.

alex walked in, you didnt notice "hey, hey thor I am alex nice to meet you" alex said having a smile on her face being as welcoming as possible. "nice to meet you alex tell me a bit about yourself" "I am a archer, best one of my town along with a spice of witchyness."

"ha nice, heres a ticket to an archer event being hosted in asgard the both of you are invited" "oh thank you thor." "Y/N ill be over here with an old friend wave if you need me" "alright love ya" "love ya Y/N" thor asked "so.. are you gonna take me up on that offer" he said with a stern smirk, you noticed his jaw, it was perfect and beyond smooth" you licked your tongue thinking about how handsome he was. "I dont think so I would love to get a tour of your place."

"someones egar to see my palace huh?" he said with a grin "lets go" you said slapping his bicep, you got an eletric touch from skin to skin contact is felt amazing. you also noticied him shiver. you arrived to the palace it was big, just like him… you got your mind out of the gutter as he showed you all of the rooms. bathrooms everything was carefully placed.'their was no speck of dust. everything was protected, you noticed a large bubble around the palace. protecting it from any danger. to be fair this was your first date in awhile, not your first date ever but, the first one in a long time.

"wow this place is pretty thor.." "just like you my darling" he said with a grin. fuck you said to yourself you he was so hot, you noticed the way he was standing and how he would stare at you. he scratched his back nervously. he showed you his room, you found a gold necklace "whos is this?" "its a magic necklace… used for the seductress I have others one for poseidon, one for eros." "wow its so pretty" he got face to face. you saw his hot nose, his soft and sharp jawline, you squirmed, feeling a shock of bliss. you gave him a kiss. the first one in months. he shivered it was almost as the both of you had a shockwave of bliss sent through one anothers bodies.

"you are beyond beautiful." said thor. your stomach has butterflies as he kissed your stomach, you took his shirt off and then his pants "careful darling" "love you in the color blue looking so sexy…"

"you know your biceps are amazing" you both had smirks but you were flushed beyond your comprehension. you were entranced by him. but thor was so handsome. you rubbed your hand across his biceps, he groaned as almost if he had gotten a massage. "what about you… I wanna see that beauty underneath the blue" your cheeks flushed.

"just relax handsome" he had a strong gaze you kissed his abs. slowly taking off your dress. you took off his boxers. you kissed him "are you comfortable darling" "yes thor, I just need you to fuck me up" you wished you didnt say that but your doubt quickly went away and you gripped onto his arms, you switched your position you were no longer ontop of him you were now laying on the bed. he kissed you as he slowly entered.

the feeling was crazy like never before, somehow you knew you were at the right place and at the right time you had never felt this. tingling sensation in your cunt but also all over his body. he let out moans groans "fuck darling… you… send… tingling through my entire body." his words flew out with a arrow of bliss you hand was gonna slip off the bed but thor didn't let that happening keeping you in a comfy position.

"fuck" you moaned, "someone's needy" you moaned as he went faster. "dont hold back thor" he went faster. now your legs were a puddle of wetness while thor was turning into a fireball.

"I guess a god like you has good taste" "of course I do especially with a respectful person like you Y/N" as he said that he kissed your cunt slowly licking it as if you were ice cream. you moaned titling your head back. almost as if his tongue gave you an orgasm. he went back to fucking you deeply. you both did not stop moaning as every movement was like an orgasm.

"fuck darling… I see why your the rightful ruler of men" that alone sent you off you both moaned loudly as you reached your peak. a burst of energy was sent out not only from you but from him as a storm and rain set in stronger then any other you've seen.

"I love you" you both hugged eachother tightly. planning to set off together into asgard as it rained. still feeling a tingling senstation of bliss.

THE END!

[tim-lucy]

What do you despise about it?

Well, when it comes to The Rookie and how much I love both Tim and Lucy as characters, I really like to approach the situation from both of their points of view. It's fun for me to see if I can figure out the intent behind their actions as opposed to just feeling things and jumping to conclusions based on those feelings. I do that with many of my other shows hehehe because it's fun to just watch and scream and, at the end of the day, so much is just interpretation.

Buuuut as someone who likes to see both sides of things, I just, personally, find it hard when it comes to Lucy’s point of view here. To me, the angst only works when I can see good intentions on both sides. I don't think Lucy has bad intentions ever, but it’s hard to find the silver lining. She’s just so confident she can make this work because she’s such a bright and positive human being, and it seems as if it’s giving her a bit of tunnel vision.

I think she gets a buzz from undercover work, which I would imagine that many uc officers do. She's great at it, people tell her she's great at it, and she's felt the rush of a job well done. The excitement in her voice (kudos to Melissa's acting!!) when Tim asked if she needed to pull out and she was saying she was going to take the whole thing down from within...it just clearly gives her a thrill. When she said she would stop before it ever got to an unmanageable point I found that to be a bit questionable.

I was once doing something that was bound to get out of hand quickly, but I kept telling myself I'd stop before I ever let it get bad. I never recognized when I reached that point and then a very scary thing happened while I still thought I had everything under control. PLOT TWIST I did not LOL. Obviously, this is me self-inserting, but that's part of the reason why I'm personally so wary. If she's not willing to listen to Tim when he points out red flags, she's already in the thick of it.

On the other hand, I feel like it's unfair to Tim. If Lucy wants to do undercover then that's up to her. But I think she shouldn't be with Tim if that's the case. It's an extremely hard thing to put your partner through, not just in terms of worrying about you, but in terms of their own life. They always talk about their future kids, and by becoming a uc officer, she's essentially leaving him to be a single dad for six months to a year on and off. On top of that, what would that mean for his career? And the safety of their family, as they would all be obvious targets? It's literally the reason Harper had to leave her husband and daughter.

I also wasn't a huge fan of the way she seemed put off about his concerns at the end of the episode and acted like he simply couldn't separate her from Isabel. The lifestyle of a uc officer is the problem here, and she's a little bit too confident about her ability to avoid literally every negative thing that comes with being a uc.

I really don’t want to be unfair to Lucy because it’s clearly due to her limited experience. She needs to witness it for herself. That’s human nature.

But she waaaas worried about Tim's feelings up until he actually admitted, "Yes, I am scared of losing you." Then there seemed to be a bit of a shift of attitude. I expected her to react with compassion, but that's not at all the feelings I was getting. Perhaps that's just my interpretation 🤷‍♀️

Again, I really don't think she has bad intentions! However, I do think, on some level, Lucy is (unintentionally) taking advantage of the fact that Tim would never ask her to sacrifice something she loves. But healthy relationships are about sacrifice and finding a middle ground. Tim gave up positions he loved for Lucy twice without blinking. He even took a desk job just to be with her. Given the level of valid distress he's in (I really don't believe his past with Isabel is the problem, as more as it's made him aware that there will be a problem) it is painful that she’s not willing to do the same. At least, not yet. I’m sure she will once she has the experience everyone keeps warning her about.

If she does love this career so much that would choose it over being with Tim, then she needs to make that clear. My issue is with her trying to have both. Lucy is just such a compassionate person especially when it comes to Tim and his feelings, so it's difficult to watch 😞

ANYWAY!! There's my essay on why I personally don't love this plot line and the way the writers have chosen to go about it. Just my thoughts!! I will step off my soap box now and continue to make moving pictures in this era of canon chenford!! 🏃‍♀️

[acourtofthought]

~~~~~ SUNSHINE ~~~~~

"She had been always so full of light. Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been."

This line really stands out to me. Feyre had been in Spring for 2(ish) or more months and when she returned to the Night Court, she visits Elain only to find her inner light completely extinguished and Elain seemingly trying to replace it with sunshine. Nesta confirms this has been Elain's normal state, not eating or drinking, not sleeping, not leaving her room. Elain is devoid of all life....until the arrival of Lucien.

Within 2 days of his arrival, she begins to show signs of coming back into herself. She leaves her room, her eyes begin to focus, and shortly after that she starts eating, drinking, and sleeping.

I find it impossible to deny that the presence of her mate (the heir to Day), was the thing that began to fill the void within Elain. It's like Elain had been subconsciously trying to fill that void with as much sunshine as possible as a substitute for her absent mate, who literally has the power of the sun within him and who's absence, I do believe, was difficult for Elain to endure. Would Elain have ever acknowledged she might have been craving Lucien? Definitely not and I know she was truly depressed over Graysen and being made. But we know the mating bond snapping into place is an overwhelming thing and I don't doubt that we'll come to find Elain was also feeling angst over being separated from Lucien as abruptly as she was. Having a bond snap into place, being given a connection to someone who is your equal and match then having it ripped away from you (even if you don't understand it and didn't ask for it) would leave you feeling bereft.

There has been an obvious need to keep Elucien at odds, it wouldn't make sense for them to get together or get along before their book since we know SJM likes to start off her endgame couples with tension in their POV.

But we have been given so many examples of how Elucien is destined to be the aunshine couple. Everything about them is light, bright, and golden (the author even told us they're happiest in nature) and I love how they easily fit together without having to sacrifice who they are. I love that Lucien is not only so similar to Elain already, but that he can literally provide her with the thing she craves the most.

“We keep all your powers but the ones I gave you hidden. As my High Lady, you will have been expected to have received some.”

“What can I get you, Elain?”. But Elain shook her head once more. “Sunshine.”

Warm and white light, like the sun—like a star. / Shining—I was shining bright and pure as a star. <- Day Court powers

Of course other characters have eyes that shine bright or have the sun shining in their hair but no other couple captures the aesthetic quite like Elucien. SJM makes it known time and again through not only Lucien and Elain but with what she tells us about Helion (as Lucien will have inherited the gifts that he has). Elain wants Sunshine and everything about Lucien is synonymous with that.

the southernmost one a softer, redder palate, the Dawn Court; above, in bright gold and yellow and blue, the Day Court.

One was russet and shone as brightly as his red hair. The other was—metal.

Then the High Lord of the Day Court, clad in white and gold, his dark skin gleaming with an inner light.

I marveled at it, actually—that those years of poverty hadn’t stripped away that light from Elain

Faintly, as if some inner light shone beneath my skin, leaking out into the world. Warm and white light, like the sun—like a star.

Shining—I was shining bright and pure as a star.

But there, deep within Day’s light...

Beautiful—she’d always been the most beautiful of us. Soft and lovely, like a summer dawn.

the Fae themselves debated whether it had emerged from the Winter Court or Day Court. Both now claimed it as their holiest holiday. All I really knew was that I’d had to endure two ceremonies: one at sunset to begin that endless night of presents and dancing and drinking in honor of the old sun’s death; and one at the following dawn, bleary-eyed and feet aching, to welcome the sun’s rebirth.

Lucien’s red hair gleamed

his unbound hair glimmering as the midday sun overhead set the blood and wine hues aglow

Every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. As if any bit of darkness was abhorrent. As if to chase it away. And seated in a small chair before the sunniest of the windows, her back to us, was Elain.

She had been always so full of light. Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been.

But sunlight on gold caught his eye—and Elain slowly turned from her vigil at the window.

“What can I get you, Elain?” Only with Elain did she use that voice. But Elain shook her head once more. “Sunshine.”

More steps—no doubt closer to where Elain stood at the window.

“You ever get sick of all that sunshine, you can come play with us in Velaris.” (not quite an Elucien example but an example of how the Night Court is not known for "sunshine" and why it's not symbolic of what Elain wants)

If Elain was a blooming flower in this army camp, then Nesta …

She had no mental shields, no barriers. The gates to her mind … Solid iron, covered in vines of flowers—or it would have been. The blossoms were all sealed, sleeping buds tucked into tangles of leaves and thorns.

If Elain’s mental gates were those of a sleeping garden, Nesta’s …

Helion’s flame was a pure, blinding white.

“Easy,” Lucien repeated, and flame sizzled in his russet eye.

There was a flare of light, and a scrape, and then Lucien was stalking toward Elain, freed of his restraints.

Elain politely refused, taking up a spot in one of the wooden chairs set in the bay of windows. Also typical.

A golden cuff of an upright serpent encircled one powerful bicep, offsetting his near-glowing dark skin, and a radiant crown of golden spikes—the rays of the sun, I realized—glistened atop his onyx hair. The sun personified.

Her skin had gained color these months—at least, before the cold weather had set in.

Her sister’s delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring,

Her sister turned toward her, glowing with health

Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health

[heyitssmiller]

As Good a Start as Any

Wrote another part of Rendezvous with Destiny if y’all wanna check it out!! Characters of course belong to @lumosinlove and thank you to Eve and Lauren for being my beta readers!!!

ao3 link

Finn was fine.

Really.

It felt like it had been decades ago, but Finn had once written a letter, his shaking hand transcribing thoughts into trembling lines of ink, promising to take Leo dancing when (if) he made it to New York. Tonight he was keeping that promise. And now, against all odds, Logan was there with them, too - a wonderful, thrilling breath of fresh air. Getting to really know him outside of dire circumstances and too brief interactions, while new and exciting, was also gentle and familiar - like he was someone they’d always known, always had a place for without ever recognizing it. It was smelling an old but well-loved recipe in the oven, it was picking up a book he’d read years and years ago and diving right back into the story. It was homecoming.

Logan was walking between Leo and Finn, eyes bright as Leo told the story of Finn teaching him how to dance and, naturally, over-embellishing the fuck out of it.

“Then he swoops in, my knight in shining armor-”

Finn sighed and bit back a smile. “Leo-”

“And he sweeps me off my feet - not literally, I weigh too much, but - you know,” he waved his hand dramatically, “Metaphorically.”

Logan smiled and, man, Finn didn't think he was being overdramatic when he said he’d do anything to see that smile.

“Leo here’s a klutz. I couldn’t have swept him off his feet even if I tried,” Finn teased, reaching over to playfully shove him. Leo shot him a highly-offended glare.

“For the record, I was tripping all over myself because this very handsome, sweet, funny soldier had his hands all over me and I had no clue what to do with myself,” Leo said with a shrug, completely candid and causing Finn to smile over at him warmly.

“Aww, you sap.”

Leo hummed in agreement. “One look at those big, brown eyes and I was done for.” He looked to Logan, then, and his smile widened. “And then you come along…”

“With your accent,” Finn butted in. Logan ducked his head, a little bashfully.

“And your smile,” Leo continued.

“And your big… heart.”

Leo laughed gleefully and ducked down to kiss Logan on the cheek. “I didn’t know you could blush like that.”

Finn bit back a smug smile. “Oh, I did,” he said, and relished the look on Leo’s face. Priceless. “I think you were at the grocer’s. I would say sorry, but I’m really not.”

He could all but see the gears in Leo’s head start to turn.

Logan watched him, too, clearly not opposed to his train of thought. “Take me dancing first, then you can make me turn red later.”

“Promise?” Leo asked, laughing when Logan shoved his face away and kept walking. He gave Finn a look, one that said I really love him.

Finn gave him one back that said, me too.

They ducked into the club, immediately getting blasted by the seventeen-piece band on stage. It was crowded, people crammed together at the edges of the dance floor and plenty more dancing away in a blur of limbs and flying hair. The bar off to the left was just as busy, with glasses sliding across the wet, sticky countertop and patrons vying for the bartenders’ attention. It was havoc, and Finn wasn’t quite sure if he liked it or not.

“Come on!” Leo shouted to be heard, grabbing Logan by the hand and dragging him off to the dancefloor. Finn lingered, wanting to get used to their environment before getting out there, but he watched as Leo swung Logan into a surprisingly good Lindy Hop. Apparently he’d been telling the truth about Finn making him flustered all those years ago in the barracks.

Finn was smug about it, sue him.

The band picked up the pace, and the dancers followed suit. It was loud. It was crowded. It was chaos. Finn could hear the shouts of couples spinning each other out on the dance floor, the rhythmic boom of the bass drum, mortars shrieking overhead, the canvas of their glider ripping while the metal hull groaned, the smiles around him morphing into grimaces and screams, reaching for Leo, always reaching for Leo, but he was never close enough, watching Logan climb into the back of a truck and disappear -

A hand grabbed his. “Finn. Hey-”

Leo. He grabbed that hand like a lifeline, like he hadn’t been able to in the back of that glider, and held on for dear life.

“Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe, breathe-”

Finn sucked in a stuttering, noisy breath and his fingers clumsily moved up to the pulsepoint in Leo’s wrist, letting muscle memory take over. The thrum of his heartbeat was nothing compared to the boom of the bass drum, though, so he pressed down harder, wanting- needing it to be stronger, louder.

“Outside,” another voice said - Logan. Finn twisted his head to look for him, then stayed locked onto green, green eyes as he was led to the back alley. It didn’t smell great, it was still stuffy and confining, but as the door to the club closed the sounds from inside got muffled and Finn could focus on what he wanted to focus on: a strong, steady pulse, soothing jade eyes, three sets of lungs breathing in and out, in and out. He didn’t really want to be touched, and they knew that, but he didn’t want to be alone either. So they stayed just close enough and let Finn dictate what he needed. He followed their breathing and repeated their mantra in his head, three times, once for each of them:

We’re ok. We’re ok. We’re ok.

“Sorry,” Finn croaked out when he was able to, pulling Logan close and then sandwiching him between Leo and himself. “We didn’t even get to finish the first song.”

Leo let out a quiet hum of dissent and pushed a stray piece of hair back out of Finn’s face, gentle and kind - so, so unlike the men they’d had to become. Finn soaked it in, let the stark sweetness in that simple motion ground him more than anything. “None of that, now. We can take it slow, we’ve got time.”

“It was a bit loud,” Logan agreed, voice muffled by the slightly starched fabric of Finn’s button down. “I like the quiet much better.”

Finn didn’t like the quiet, either - that was the thing. Too quiet set him on edge, too loud sent him into a panic. Leo actually loved the noise, the reminder that he wasn’t alone and forgotten in some abandoned, snowy foxhole.

They all needed such different things, and Finn knew that was normal, but sometimes he worried that the gaps between them would be too far to bridge. But he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to let them go, either.

Maybe that was just the way love worked - stubborn, fierce unwillingness to let your loved ones go, no matter the circumstances. To keep holding on, come hell or high water. They’d all been through worse, after all. They could get through this.

Logan pushed away just enough to see Finn’s face. His eyes gleamed in the scant light of the alley. “You wanna show me what you’ve got? Someone told me you can jive with the best of them.”

Finn laughed brightly and took Logan’s hand. “I’m a bit rusty.”

Logan just smiled that smile of his. “I don’t care.”

And so they danced, all three of them, in a frankly terrible cluster of tangled feet and stray elbows and “how do we spin each other like this?” . The trashcan farther back in the alleyway reeked, and there wasn't enough room to really dance, but they didn’t care.

It was one of those moments where Finn knew he’d remember and cherish this memory for the rest of his life (why did they seem to happen so frequently in alleys, though?). He burned every last detail he could into his memory - the song that was playing (Only Forever), the way the flickering lightbulb in the alley danced along with them, the grimace that turned into a laugh when Logan stepped on Leo’s foot, the way his heart crescendoed with love for the two in his arms.

Months, years, decades down the road, those were the things he’d remember - not what came before, just a muted melody and quickly-amassing bruises and smiles in streetlights.

.

Finn had been knitting up a storm the past few days. Wherever he went, his yarn and needles went with him - the desk of his bookstore, the living room couch, their bed, one memorable instance of the dinner table (that had quickly been vetoed by Leo). Logan knew he could knit, but he hadn’t busted out the yarn and needles for months and all of a sudden he was an unstoppable knitting machine. Hats, mittens, scarves, socks, one miserable attempt at a sweater (there had been many tears shed and several utterances of “make it make sense” before Finn called it quits). It wasn't all that cold out, and it was still a little early to start making holiday presents, Logan thought as he scratched Hershey behind his shoulder blades and watched Finn’s scrunched up concentration face - crinkled brow, chewed-on lower lip, glasses slipping down his nose. It was endearingly cute.

“What are you making?” he finally asked after the most recent string of curses and a slipped stitch.

Finn looked up, his glare easing. “It’s going to be a sock… I think.” He must’ve recognized the question in Logan’s eyes, because he continued, “They’re for Leo. It gets cold here in the winter and…” He gave a little sigh and shrugged. He didn’t have to say any more; Logan understood. He scooted a little closer to Finn on the couch until their thighs brushed. Hershey jumped down onto the floor, peeved at being jostled, and stalked away.

“Has he ever talked to you about it?” Logan asked quietly, although he was pretty sure of the answer.

Finn shook his head. “Nah. All I know is that it was cold and it was bad. Other than that, he hasn’t said a word about it. Not to me, at least. Not sure I'd be able to help, anyways.”

Logan heard the unspoken.

He covered Finn’s hands with his own and waited until he finally looked up. “You help.” He laced his words with every ounce of conviction in him, and watched them sink in. Finn’s shoulders relaxed, his eyes softened, the lines between his brows eased. Logan wondered just how long he’d been carrying that extra weight. He’d spent so much time here, alone, feeling helpless and scared and discarded, like a damaged tool that no longer had a use.

Logan ached for that man, and the one who sat beside him.

He leaned over to kiss Finn’s cheek. “You help,” he repeated, then kissed his temple. “You matter.” One final, sound kiss was pressed to Finn’s lips. “You are loved.”

When he pulled away slightly, Finn’s eyes were water-rimmed, his cheeks tear-stained. He didn't say anything, he didn’t have to - those big brown eyes did all the talking for him. He leaned forward to press his forehead to Logan’s and stayed there for a while, even though his glasses were pinching uncomfortably. “Love you,” he murmured quietly, hands smoothing up and down Logan’s thighs in a slow, loving manner. Logan kissed him again until he couldn’t breathe and all his senses were overpowered until just Finn remained. When they finally broke apart they didn’t get far, content to just linger for a while, to soak each other in, to see and be seen. Sunlight streaked through copper hair, turning it to gold and all but forcing Logan to play with the strands, twisting them this way and that to watch them shimmer. Finn simply let him, his loving eyes never drifting from Logan’s face. Logan loved it when Finn looked at him like that - like he was everything.

“Now,” Logan finally said, sitting back and tucking his feet under Finn’s thigh. “Teach me.”

Finn blinked. “Huh?”

“Teach me to knit. I want to make Leo a scarf.”

Finn smiled, sweet like honey, and fished another set of knitting needles and some yarn out of his bag.

And later that evening, when Leo came home a little pale and vacant-eyed, Finn and Logan were there to pile on the warmth and chase away the ghosts.

.

Logan woke up to the roar of thunder like tank treads against Parisian streets, the flashes of lightning like antiaircraft, the wind howling like bombs racing for their targets - all of it too loud, too real, too similar to before. He flinched and hid his face in Leo’s neck, trembling a bit. He hated this. He hated how his fears and his memories clashed into one big, waking nightmare - one he couldn’t escape from.

Leo shifted slightly underneath him, a deep inhale making his chest rise, lifting Logan with him. “Hey, lover,” his honey voice murmured on the gentle breath of an exhale. Logan squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to burn that moment into his memory - maybe the bright warmth could outshine the dark shadows or terror and helplessness, like the sun shining bright and blinding to chase away the storm clouds. It wasn’t that simple - it would never be that simple. But Logan could hope. He could dream.

And in that moment, it was enough.

Thunder rolled again; that was all it took for Leo to understand. Two strong arms snaked around Logan’s waist, cold hands quickly warming up against his skin. “I’m here, I’ve got you,” were the only words Leo uttered, gentle but firm as his lips brushed against the shell of Logan’s ear. No empty words or impossible promises, just the unalterable fact that Leo was there, Leo had him.

Finn climbed out of bed and stretched his arms over his head. Logan hadn't even realized he was awake. He turned back towards the bed to lean down and give Logan a quick kiss to the temple before he started what he liked to call “The Rainy Day Strategy”. The radio was turned on, the curtains closed as tightly as possible, and then Finn left the bedroom to go and make tea for the three of them - two chamomile and one peppermint. He left the bedroom door open, just like always; Logan was never sure whose peace of mind it was for - hell, it was probably for all three of them.

Leo stayed steady beneath him, fingers tracing an invisible pattern onto his back and humming along to the song on the radio. Resting his chin on Leo’s chest, Logan looked up at him - messy bedroom curls, sleepy blue eyes, an imprint of his pillowcase on one cheek. He’d wanted this all the way back in that tiny hotel room in Paris, wishing for so much more than one night and a lonely morning. Now he was here, in that same boy’s arms, having gotten everything he’d wished for and then some.

The thought calmed him a bit. Storms always passed, after all.

Leo caught him staring, the song getting stuck in his throat. “Hey,” he spoke softly, one side of his mouth quirking up into a smile (the side opposite the scars, where there wasn’t any scar tissue to impede movement). Logan gave a weak smile and a “hi” back before pressing a quick kiss over another scar on Leo’s shoulder, noting that the glinting silver of it seemed to fade more and more with each passing day.

Storms always passed, after all.

Finn bustled back into the bedroom, smiling softly at them as they both sat up and got comfortable. His climb back into bed was a bit slower - stiffer and more calculated to accommodate his bad hip - but he finally settled back against the pillows and grabbed the tray of mugs from where he’d placed it on the bedside table as the discomfort vanished from his face.

Storms always passed, after all.

Their mugs of tea were passed out, blankets tucked up as far as they could go, and their burgeoning conversation began to drown out the weather that was quietly raging on outside. Sometimes it was overwhelming, how daunting and uncertain the future was, and how much they still needed to overcome in terms of their past. Years stacked upon years of horror and fear and trauma wouldn’t just go away. It would take work, and patience, and determination to make things better.

The beginnings were always the hardest part.

But at that moment, Finn was at ease. Leo was warm. Logan was calm.

And that was as good a start as any.

[cto10121]

R&J Clown Takes Special Edition—TV Tropes Still Exists

Popped into that old swamp for an idle Inuyasha check-up and suddenly got the bright idea to check its R&J page and see whether it still kept up its clownery. A lot of the worst offenses has been mercifully cleaned-up, but there is still some really tasty clownery, meet for this blog. So hie ho, let’s go

~Obvious Aesop!!!!

Already this one paragraph contains so much clownery. Such fresh and succulent meat cannot be good for you, alas. But I shall bear it for ye, my readers.

1. High school teachers teach love story so wrong!!! So I can’t speak for every high school English teacher out there, but as I was in training for the shit, let me tell you: The schools do 90% gun hard for the “cautionary tale/R&J’s tragic flaw was their impulsivity” element, with an added “Who is really responsible/the true villain for R&J’s deaths!!!” Very juvenile, but schools have to school, which means coming up with an Aesop, no matter how ill-fitting.

2. Elizabethan audiences would have seen—!!! Now this is just plain bullshitting. What evidence we have the Elizabethan reception of R&J has been consistently that of a very popular tragedy—the Second Quarto was titled “The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy.” In an elegy to the late Richard Burbage, who played Romeo and countless other Shakespearean lead roles, the author wrote this:

Poor Romeo never more shall tears beget

For Juliet’s love and cruel Capulet.

This is a very positive portrayal of Romeo, Juliet, and the play itself, with an added slight at the feuding families. It also suggests that Capulet’s forcing Juliet to marry Paris left a very big impression on the Elizabethans. Romeo was definitely not seen as a Lothario but as a tragic hero.

3. Most 17th/18th century playgoers universally disliked it!!! Samuel Pepys is the only one that comes to mind, but even then he said only that the play was “the worst that ever I heard in my life, and the worst acted that ever I saw these people do.” Not that the play itself was coarse and brutal.

I’m not sure of the others, but considering they were writing in the neo-classism-loving milieu of the 17th century, Shakespeare’s dramatic realism would have been abhorrent to their sensibilities. That does not mean that the play itself is coarse. Just the 17th century being 17th century.

For the last time, there was no such thing as romance as a genre in Shakespeare’s day. The main genres were comedies, tragedies, pastoral, histories. Shakespeare’s later plays were experiments in tragicomedy. The romance plays are more kin to fantasy/sci-fi. Rom-com style plots (commedia dell’arte) were very much a thing, but they didn’t constitute their own genre—they were all under the comedy umbrella.

R&J establishes itself as a tragedy from the word go and literally every scene would have been full of red flags to the Elizabethans—Juliet at 13 urged to consider marriage, the Prince’s doom, Tybalt’s rage, and even the Nurse’s comedy about toddler!Juliet inadvertently making a double entendre. They would not have been at all surprised, because the tragic outcome was both explicitly stated in the Chorus and was well-foreshadowed by Shakespeare.

“Characters mock the main characters—” As said before, there are none. Mercutio mocks Romeo’s infatuation with Rosaline; he does not know about Juliet. The Friar is frustrated, bewildered, and even angry, but he does not mock Romeo; he takes him seriously. Benvolio is genuinely concerned.

Chopped Logic

TV Tropes literally had the perfect answer in Rule of Symbolism, but alas, it just had to keep going.

No, Romeo’s choice of poison over a dagger doesn’t imply unmanliness in this context. Considering that he almost killed himself with his own dagger when he thought Juliet had rejected him and he killed Tybalt and Paris with swords, it can be argued that Romeo, ironically, is the most tied to the weapon save Tybalt. He is the one male character who wields it the most effectively, anyway, and the one character with the most kills in the play.

Occam’s Razor here, but for my part? It’s the erotic symbolism. Again, Shakespeare’s framing of the lovers’ suicide as romantic-erotic is part-and-parcel with the thematic concerns of the play overall.

I have a whole-ass tag dedicated to analyzing the play and why the play as a whole is not critical of Romeo and Juliet’s relationship. On the contrary, it develops and exploits their love connection shamelessly, even giving them the best and most powerful lines and a full arc from obedient teens to courageous if vulnerable tragic heroes.

Their tragic end doesn’t even come at any of their actions, but the most dangerous and significant force of them all: The literal plague. It wasn’t a case of a faulty mailing system. Shakespeare literally used THE PLAGUE, which had ravished London for the better part of two years, as a plot point to doom the lovers. Shakespeare was not fucking around. He went so damn hard we’re still talking about it 400 years later.

As for the relationship moving absurdly fast, we literally have 2/3rds of all Shakespearean couples marrying at the end of their plays. Plays are not novels; all events must be condensed into the two and a half hours of their story. Hence the popularity of instalove as a trope and quick courtships.

Ooh, about time these antis weaponized the Pyramus and Thisbe show in AMND against R&J. Unfortunately for them, I’ve been expecting this.

So the Pyramus and Thisbe show in Midsummer is brilliant in that the bulk of the comedy lies not in making fun of the story, but in making fun of amateur writing and acting—as in, the execution. It is riddled with all the hallmarks of bad writing and acting at all levels:

The players getting worried that the ladies would take the Lion as a real one and be frightened, so they write a fourth wall breaking speech for the actor

Creating whole-ass characters for The Wall and Moonshine to denote the literal wall and moon…when they could literally just say, “There’s a wall” or “It is night.”

The actors constantly forgetting their lines and not obeying punctuation and proper line reading

Just bad writing overall (“I see a voice!”)

Of course, Shakespeare was also flexing his skills at turning a tragedy into a comedy and (eventually) vice versa. But given that he would go on to write similar couples who fall in love immediately or very quickly (the love quartet in Love’s Labor’s Lost, Rosalind and Orlando, Fernando and Miranda, etc.) without satire, he most likely didn’t think the trope was inherently comic…or that his own carefully considered and very popular play of the same theme was crappy.

Also, consider Midsummer was written around the same time as R&J, to the point where academics like to call them sister plays.

R&J just never got a chance to fall in love properly, guys. 😔 Their love was doomed only to remain stagnant at the shallow teen lust level 🥺 So tragic, so sad.

So falling in love /= courtship/dating. R&J never had a fulsome courtship for obvious reasons and are denied a chance to, but it’s undeniable that in the narrative they did fall in love. After the initial attraction of the Courtship Sonnet, they even managed to woo at the balcony scene. Their love is well established, so much so that more courtship would honestly been superfluous.

Shakespeare could have followed his source, Brooke’s poem, and the longer courtship there (three months, I think). But there Romeus and Juliet’s relationship is even less convincing than R&J’s. Dudes just fucked around for three months doing da sexy times!!! It reads, pretty much, that Romeus and Juliet only got married for the sex, which is not too far off given Brooke’s explicit agenda.

Meanwhile Shakespeare!R&J talk, woo, and decide to get married and…actually do it. And then consummate their marriage properly. Huh. Almost as if…they really are serious about each other and don’t just want fun sexy times.

Here Come Our Philosophers

*studio audience groan* Not this shit again. This is one of those quotes that sounds profound but are really just absurd.

Suffice to say that R&J has a…very ambivalent reception among modern teens. In fact, I’d wager that most teenagers dislike/don’t care for R&J more than they do. I can assure you that it’s a particularly hard sell in YA unless changed to fit the tropes. Modern teens and even older ones, it turns out, don’t like unhappy endings to their ships.

Because while the play is sympathetic to the youths and their perspective…it’s a very adult kind of sympathy. And, in the end, understanding. Had it really taken a youthful perspective, R&J would just be another boring, trite power fantasy of super special teens who beat the odds—only instead of Chosen One shenanigans it’s you and your lover triumphing over your lameass parents and living happily ever after.

No teen (and adults too—it’s a human quality) truly believes their relationship will not last. Logically, they may acknowledge the possibility, but in the heat of it all, no. Shakespeare, though, does not indulge either teen or adult fantasies. He, frankly, didn’t give a fuck. He is a poet of nature—he writes how humans actually act, not how we think we should act.

I have already addressed why I don’t think this particular legend is true, but I’ll deal with it here too.

Suffice to say, Mercutio was a character in Brooke’s poem, though a courtier and suitor to Juliet. Shakespeare changed him into Romeo’s friend and foil, which means that he almost certainly planned to kill him off.

Shakespeare’s Tybalt is a belligerent character, but one who takes honor and dueling seriously, so he would have never attacked Romeo when the latter refused him as Brooke’s Tybalt did in the poem. Thus, a sacrifice needed to be made, some very good reason as to why Romeo would consent to fight Tybalt. And since Benvolio is as close to a pacifist as this play gets, that role falls to Mercutio. This legend is definitely 17th century fanon.

Only Sane Man I get, but…Deadpan Snarker? What? The only thing close to snark that Benvolio gets (in my memory, anyway) is “She will indite him to some supper,” mocking the Nurse’s malapropisms. Definitely not deadpan. Romeo trolls more (“One that God hath made, himself to mar”; A gentleman who speaks more in a minute than he would stand to in a month”) than Benvolio, especially with regards to Mercutio. Weird.

[studioahead]

Artist Spotlight: Leslie Williamson

Leslie Williamson is a photographer of interiors. We mean this literally – in books like Still Lives and Modern Originals she photographed the studios and homes of iconic artists, including some of our Northern California favorites – but also figuratively, because what is remarkable about Williamson is her ability to touch upon the life of a space, or as she calls it, the soul – the part that offers a glimpse of a person's inner world, even when that person is no longer part of this one. In speaking with her, and looking at the mysterious, quiet, strangely emotional places she has photographed, I kept thinking of Gaston Bachelard's maxim in The Poetics of Space: "all really inhabited space bears the essence of the notion of home." Flip through any one of her books, and you will see how such notions take shape.

Studio AHEAD: Let's start with your essay "Doc's Lab," published a few weeks ago in a recent WildSam guide, Big Sur & HW 1. Tell us about it and what draws you to this particular landmark in Monterey.

Leslie Williamson: It’s funny how that came about. I became a little enthralled with Ed Ricketts and his Pacific Biological Laboratories when I moved to Monterey in April 2020 (yes, a pandemic move…). I am sure it won’t surprise you to learn that when I am in a new place, I research “house museum” to find what is around me, and when I did this in Monterey, Pacific Biological Laboratories came up. I have never read any Steinbeck so I wasn’t familiar with Ricketts and his story, but with the quiet of the pandemic I soon became a fan. Ricketts is such an inspiring character! It’s no wonder he was Steinbeck’s best friend and muse.

Anyhow, I tried and tried to visit Pacific Biological Laboratories throughout the pandemic but it was always closed. Finally one day, as I was on a walk, the door was open and the nice docent let me in even though I didn’t have a reservation. Oh my goodness that space, it gave me goosebumps!!! It is just so special – steeped in history on a few different levels: early 20th-century Cannery Row and the PBL/Doc Ricketts era and through to the birthplace of the Monterey Jazz Festival and the men’s club that left it to the city of Monterey. Of course I photographed the space and my plan was to write an essay to accompany it that would go on the Still Lives Portal on my website. I have begun sharing my stories in real time there. Happily the WildSam project seamlessly dovetailed in unexpectedly. I am thrilled they wanted to publish my essay in their 50th WildSam guide. I hope people will read the essay while looking at the images. It will really bring it to life.

SA: While we're talking about places, I want to mention a photograph you took that I find so compelling: of JB Blunk's Moongate sculpture that leads to JB Blunk's house. We've been to the estate, and to get there you have to go deep into the woods of Inverness, along a windy road up a steep mountain far from everything, and there is a sense of the space caught unawares, as if no one is supposed to see it. I'm not really sure this is a question! But maybe you can speak about this feeling; it's very powerful.

LW: Thank you! It is a special place for sure. I experienced that same feeling on my first visit. Somehow my emotions come through in my images a lot of the time. I’m not sure I can say more than that. It has always been that way. 

SA: I love the home libraries of various Californian luminaries that you shot in Interior Portraits – partly because whenever I'm in someone's house for the first time I head straight to their bookshelf, and partly because they're incredible spaces. Ray Kappe's library, with its bright blue cushions and the bamboo forest outside, shows his relation to reading. What sort of objects "speak" to you as the kind that tell a story, and how do you photograph that object in way that helps it best tell its story?

LW: First off, can I just say I love libraries too…so much. There was a time when our bookshelves were a window to our mind, heart and soul. I just added a Bibliophilia section on my SL Portal that shares people's bookshelves. I always photograph them and they never make them into my books so I decided they needed a venue of their own.

As for other objects that speak to me, I never know what they are going to be. It is different for every person/space I am in. I generally just trust my gut. From Una Jeffer’s narwhal tusk, to Georgia O’Keeffe’s record collection, I seem to be able to sense where there are meaningful stories.

SA: What role does writing play in your photography, and vice versa?

LW: My writing is still a surprise to me. I see it as in service to my photography; but having said that, the "Doc’s Lab" story ran in WildSam with none of my photographs, so maybe that is evolving? When I wrote Handcrafted Modern, it was a bit of an unexpected turn of events that led me to writing the book, as well. But in hindsight, it was the magic combination of expression I didn’t know I was looking for. The photography always comes first and I let my curiosity run rampant as I shoot. Then, after I have edited the images, I hone in on the stories I want to share in the writing. That is the general scenario my process takes.

SA: Speaking of which, you've now published four books. Tell us a little bit about this process – whether you've a vague idea for each project... or how you build a narrative between each space photographed ... maybe a hint as to the next project you're working on…..

LW: The process of creating my books has evolved quite a bit since Handcrafted Modern. I began just because I wanted to see the spaces of my favorite architects and designers and this evolved into a plan to create a library of how creative people live in the 20th/21st centuries. And that is still happening, but I realized pretty quickly that the discernment of my choice of spaces to photograph is very specific. I am looking for what I call “soul spaces”: spaces that are still imbued with their inhabitant’s soul if they are no longer with us and an innate expression of the owner if they are still living there. There is always a certain je ne sais quoi that I am looking for. I know it when I see/feel it. But I am not sure there are words to describe it.

As for what’s next, I am looking to more shows in art galleries and museums. There is a particular project I am just diving into that will be in a major museum in a few years. I can’t say more. And of course there will be an accompanying book. Creating books is in my DNA.

SA: Finally, pretend you are not Leslie Williamson and that Leslie Williamson comes to one of the homes you've lived in – any of them from your whole life – to photograph it for Still Lives: The Sequel. What room would you want her to capture? What is in it?

LW: Oh wow…what a question! I am not sure any of my former or current homes would warrant being included in one of my books. But I do wish I could time travel back and photograph all of my former living spaces starting with my childhood home, where my father still lives, before we remodeled it in 1976. I can’t really remember it before that and am curious what it was like in its original state and how my parents had it set up, what objects they had, etc. I also wonder if there is an evolutionary through line of my own that would be evident in my own bedroom/homes throughout my life starting from my first bedroom. Like artists who make a portrait of themselves once a year, I wish I had a portrait of my living spaces for every year. I would be fascinated to see that, just for my own curiosity and self learning.

Photos by Leslie Williamson

Leslie Williamson’s home in Monterrey, CA.

“The Party Room” at Doc’s Lab on Cannery Row in Monterey. Originally the home of noted marine biologist and Steinbeck muse Ed Ricketts.

Detail in Ed Rickett's former home and business, Pacific Biological Laboratories, on Cannery Row. Monterey, CA.

JB Blunk’s ‘Moongate’ sculpture and his home in Inverness, CA. 

Detail of the living and loft area in JB Blunk’s home.

Artist and AIDS activist Derek Jarman’s library at Prospect Cottage, his home in Dungeness, UK.

The kitchen/greenhouse and a longe area in the home of artists Evan Shively and Madeleine Fitzpatrick. Marshall, CA.

Artist David Ireland’s sitting room in his home and masterwork, 500 Capp Street. San Francisco, CA.

Stair detail in artist Jesse Schlesinger’s home. Sausalito, CA.

[solaarbeeam]

I posted 494 times in 2022

That's 494 more posts than 2021!

262 posts created (53%)

232 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@avid-idiot

@httpghostface

@shoverse

@https-true-egoist

@sulkylious

I tagged 290 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#— [ asks and replies ✉️ ] - 18 posts

#my wifey : nessa - 16 posts

#my gamer bf : rez - 13 posts

#jordans screaming tag - 7 posts

#jordans reblong tag - 7 posts

#— [ melli's the sweetest 🍬] - 6 posts

#the tallest mf i've met : aspen - 6 posts

#my wife : nessa - 4 posts

#maya's yelling - 4 posts

#gay. just simply gay : atlas - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#so when my other friend anthony tried to confront her she cursed him out in front of him and started talkin abt his family and stuff

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

okay but like fuck the MBTI’s and whatever whatever here’s the real question

are you an ass, thighs, tits, or hugs and kisses guy

19 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#4

y’all cant tell me osamu isnt the most wack person ever

AND THIS IS WHY

he’s even more wack than atsumu. osamu literally knows how to do parkour and gymnastics and stuff but he uses it in the most obscene situations

this man will put extra salt in your food if you pissed him off that day and giggle as you gag and everyone thinks its suna but its really him

he’s also a certified omnisexual and a demi-boy. argue with the wall

but back to what i was saying

he’ll do the most craziest and random things to get back at you. You called out in class while he was raising his hand and you weren’t. oops! guess who cant find their shoes. he will steal them, OUT OF THE BLUE RANDOM.

he always blames them on suna bc kita loves him like he’s his child but in reality he’s more of a menace than atsumu

i love him

25 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#3

MAKE IT NATURAL

SUGAWARA KOUSHI -> WEEK ONE, DAY ONE

The fresh summer afternoon was pretty, with the sun high in the sky coming through the windows. It was about a solid 11:30 AM, and the sun was shining as bright as it liked to.

However, it wasn't for you as you were struggling in the bathroom of your huge house, since Sugawara works at a private K-12 School, trying to comb and pick out your hair while it was not listening.

Sugawara was downstairs, with the TV, watching Rupauls Drag Race, until he heard your frustrated screams of annoyance from the bathroom upstairs.

With a ragged sigh, he took himself up the stairs to find you literally dragging your comb through your hair, trying to comb it out before washing it.

He sighed to himself once again, and gave you a hug. He took the comb from you, and proceeded to do it himself.

To your surprise, your hair actually was tame for once in your life. As Sugawara combed through the tangled hair, you were still sort of mad, but only because somehow your hair didn’t wanna behave when you did it.

However, you sucked it up. Because your hair was never gonna be this tame again.

32 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#2

SPOTIFY’S DOWN NOOOO

37 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

# sakusa, komori, and hinata ! i feel like they have undiagnosed ODD (like me) and had struggled with it growing up, and their families had already been very taxing on them. Hinata’s dad kept causing problems which resulted in him walking out on Shoyo, Natsu, and their mom. Sakusa and Komori had naturally taxing families

this led to a lot of fights and arguments, which ended up with sakusa and komori becoming more aggressive than the normal person.

so when you come along, its way different.

they’re hostile towards you, they’re more aggressive when it comes to certain things, and they love to try and start fights with you just to push you away.

but you still stayed.

and that’s exactly why, as soon as they had asked you why, they might’ve been afraid of you leaving.

but not as much as they would be, because you always stayed.

70 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vermanaward]

dawntrail msq, 92-95

earthenshire

i'm just getting this out ahead of time. if this ends in another cheese debacle im. pls don't

apparently 'use your words to ask for things' is a concept that moblins are allergic to. god dammit

koana is that guy who studied abroad for a semester and came home all 'they do it Like This in Sharlayan We Should Too'

dont love that he's internalised so much that the foreign way is besterest, or that the writing keeps half supporting his assertions

[while standing right next to an aethyryte] whyyyyy do we have to taaaake a booooooooat

wait this is why we had that aside with the melodramatic elf wasn't it. sigh

so as well as speedrunning his character arc he's speedrun his citizenship arc. good for him i guess?

cool, role quests unlocked. time to ignore those until level 98

okay the gulool jaja fight was p fun

also i like that this whole hting isn't just. heeheehoohoo trial by combat goes brrr. he's like if izaro actually rubbed his braincells together and didn't set the empire up to fail

[koana voice] everyone will think twice about fighting us once we have advanced technology

yes that's definitely how this works. also absolutely the reason garlemald left sharlayan alone. not because sharlayan kept running away like the cowardly fucks they are.

wow. gee. lamat got herself catnapped this definitely wasn't incredibly predictable

doing the stealth section while it's pissing it down with rain so my girl has her bright white umbrella out = top tier

well. koana's not having kids the old fashioned way

and once again we all just. stand there like muppets while the bad guy retreats.

then again literally all of this could have been avoided if someone had. escorted the catgirl when she was lured into the Very Obvious Trap. sigh

either way this is going to end with one of the cats on the throne and the other in an advisory capacity. and i hate it

i had to xp grind here bc of Miscalculations. how embarassing -_-

worlar's echo

finally realising that the urqopacha day theme has the same opening as the sohm al theme. concerned about what further parallels are going to be drawn. is valigarmanda nidhogg's ex? is estinien going to get posessed again? pls say no

at least there's not a blue hair elf pld for them to kill off this time

okay so i was wrong about valigarmanda. i still expect that the seal in the city will house a boss fight, though.

new prediction: the feat of ice will start with 'strengthen valigarmanda's prison', and end up being 'actually just fucking kill it'

pretty purple bird. it's the next dungeon boss isnt it

dungeon 2 - worqor zamor

alisae green dps LMAO

how i feel during prog sometimes. tbh

krile uses aoe spells?? in dungeon??? what is this MADNESS

hot Damn i like boss 1 a lot. it's cute but also its mechanics are kinda fun

i also like that trusts don't just run to the safe spot straight away any more. little details in programming them that makes them seem more human

boss 3's no slouch either. honestly a good dungeon alround tbh

the gear is unique too. dyes too

aaay got the orc roll too

valigarmanda

...and we didn't use erenville's magic macguffin when lamat was missing because....?

WHY COULDNT WE FEED IT THE INFORMATION IN THE FIRST PLACE. christ this is so needlessly padded

the normal was pretty fun. ex hopefully will be interesting. the persistent dot on everyone after the add phase was an interesting touch. music slaps too

it occured to me about half way through that if valigarmanda is/was an auspice, it probably lost itself to aramitama at some point, which is. sad, honestly. give your local long lived sentient animal a hug before they go mad and blow the world up

also i noticed krile casting aero ii at vali and. i guess her ai script just loops aoe spells in part of it, instead of being smart enough to tell between single target and multiple targets. at least she aoes i guess.

oh. the "golden city" was amarout wasn't it. 🙃🔫

iq br'aax

so instead of using our words and just. asking someone what this recipe is, we're going to watch people and divine a particular recipe from the aether. why is this storyline so allergic to people talking to each other like adults

what am i saying this is xiv nobody talks to each other like adults. urianger least of all.

[consults crafting log] well either it's higher than level 95, requires a master crafting book, or doesn't exist. there i solved the trial can we- [dragged off stage out back]

...why the fuck is french toast a level 93 recipe

oh okay i used my words and asked someone and we were forbidden from being told this information so i guess we're just following quest markers until we stumble upon it by happenstance and exposition

oh my god alphinaud shut up about the fuckin firewood

brokering peace by appealing to a greater xenophobia is. it sure is a tactic i guess

not that he's wrong per se but like.

if there's been peace for eighty years tho, and barring the use of something like black rose, you'd have thought the cinderfields would have grown back by now. ash is a wonderful fertiliser, after all. but what do i know

(even then the east end still has more regrowth that. an old battlefield in the middle of a rainforest? okay.)

pls krile i powerleveled cul so i could afk macro my own consumables. i do not cook

i keep periodically remembering the person responsible for overseeing this expac and i'm just. yeah. the heavy handedness. yeah.

Oh Boy Parenthood Drama man

Wuk Lamat Has Two Dads (but no mom. xiv pls)

"several cutscenes" says the prompt, while there's the telltale solo instance marker around an npc. sure, jan

apparently squex did not in fact get the memo that people hate rp battles

wol: [popcorn intensifies]

mamook

we are actually visiting. an entire map during a single arc of the story. this is unprecedented. at least outide of final zones, anyway. which i know this isn't bc my shared fate and aether current trackers are half empty

you know i. i'm extremely not a fan of how it's the lizards of all the groups here that are the supremacists who are not above lying/cheating/stealing/etc. just saying

SILVERSCALES MENTIONED

actually i've been sorta wishing i could bring it up. 'yeah i beat several shades out of him for bullying harmless tonberries. who then finished him off with their knives, yes, but fucker had it coming'

why are there alkonosts here 👀 not that it really matters but. pretty birb-not-birb

man we're gearing up to Power Of Friendship the racist supremacists again aren't we

whatever. lower yak'tel is so pretty, i can't wait to fish here :3

i like how everyone assumes that we're on the level and didn't murder bakool for his blessed scales like he kinda deserved

GLOW IN THE DARK BANANAS

actually i just saw a glow in the dark skeletal alkonost and now im wondering if the glow in the dark isn't like. radiation or someshit

i guess it tracks that the one thing wuk lamat would learn from the wol would be the ability to look at an enemy who despises everything that they are and go. "FRIEND SHAPED. :D"

oh okay we're Power Of Science (And Also Friendship)-ing our way out of this

which is great and all but man. sometimes people are just power hungry dicks, you know? this is the same shit we went through in garlemald. 'waugh they were only xenophobic warmongers because they had to live in a shitty country and people were shitty to them'. which, again. werlyt author -_-

...the catboy's going to quit, isn't he

ilevel for this battle is 666. lmao

"everyone ready?" erenville: [flees]

i didnt realise roegadyn were from yorkshire

i'm going to go out on a limb here and assume the fact that kettie is still alive is connected to something in not!amaurot

im also going to crash here bc its 2am and ive been awak since [looks at clock] too early. TMORROW: WE CONTINUE

[citricacidprince]

I don't usually do game recs but since this game has made me cry more than any other game ever I'm just gonna go ahead and do it

Like yeah I cry a lot, especially watching movies/reading books/playing games, but this game.... Holy shit I've cried about 10 separate times it ain't even funny anymore

Spiritfarer is an amazing game and for the love of all that is holy PLEASE play it

I got it cause I saw a trailer for the game and the 2D animation really stole my heart, it just looks so pretty!!!! Then I found out the game was about you helping ghosts pass on into the afterlife and then I REALLY wanted the game.

I am kinda, sensitive, about death in particular, mostly cause the concept of death terrifies me and I'm afraid I'm going to die one day without making a memberable mark on the world so you can say this game hit a really emotional mark in me. Everytime I had to say goodbye to a character, even if they weren't my favorite, it just hurt because each goodbye meant something entirely different to me.

One character, the entire time he says goodbye, just tells the PC how much he loves them, how they should never forget it, and they will always be by their side. This man wasn't even that good of a person, but despite all that I could just tell that every word he said he meant it. And it just made me cry really hard. One character says how the fear death, another says how tired they are, one doesn't even really realize what's happening, and one tells how he couldn't live without someone he lost.

Every single one of these made me cry, or at least tear up, and I just love it. Sure my face hurts and I'm constantly snotty, but it's worth it for such a gorgeous game with breathtaking writing

Sorry if that was a bit incomprehensible, I just cried real hard before writing this and just had to tell the world about how good this game is

Just,,, y'all play Spiritfarer it's really really good-

Update: while this was queued I finished the game and what the actual fuck, I think I'm just too stupidly emotional cause I didn't see that ending coming and the ending credits song made my already soft crying turn into full on bawling

It is 4/nearly 5 AM for me and this game has me cry harder and more often than any other game in my whole life

My face is red and hurts from me rubbing it, my eyes hurt, I have a headache from tears and I wanna nap

Please play Spiritfarer it's really good

[tetsvhoe]

Hi!! I know you've already expanded on the toxic exes drabble, but I would love if you included Bokuto, Atsumu, & Sakusa too!! I really like your writing and characterizations and I'm looking forward to what else you come up with in the future!!

SEEING YOUR TOXIC EX [3]

kuroo's part

tsukishima and suna's part

iwaizumi, oikawa, and kageyama's part

hinata, matsukawa, and osamu’s part

character/s: bokuto koutaro x f reader, miya atsumu x f reader, sakusa kiyoomi x f reader

genre/s: fluff

warning/s: toxic exes, jabs on reader’s weight and hinted physical abuse on bokuto’s part, suggestive on atsumu’s part bc he’s a smug little shit

gwen's notes 🤍: damb u hit the spot these three are literally my faves. ngl writing for the same prompt is kinda difficult because i feel like i’m being repetitive, sorry if that’s the case. i end up forgetting what i wrote right after lmao.

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

bokuto koutaro

you loved coming to bokuto's games to cheer him up, this time was no different. he'd wear an entirely different smile and put on a grander show whenever he spot you among the crowd.

you waited by the entrance after the game concluded. spectators passed you by as they take their leave, talking about the plays and highlights of the game.

you kept yourself busy on your phone as you waited for your boyfriend to finish getting dressed in their locker rooms, excited to run up to his arms and tell him he did so well.

there was a tap on your shoulder. you turned around, the grin on your lips faltering when you realized it wasn't your boyfriend but someone you hoped you'd never see.

he scoffed at your reaction before leaning his face level with yours. "watched the game with your new boyfriend? didn't peg you as someone interested in sports, not when we were together at least," he snorted.

yes and no. yes, you watched the game not with but of your boyfriend. no, you were never athletic or that interested in sports but it's different when your boyfriend played the sport himself–with so much joy and passion at that. how could you not indulge him when he excitedly explains the game to you and entertains all your questions eagerly despite having to repeat himself a few times. when he turns to you with bright eyes whenever he scores a point as if he's just as impressed and surprised as you are. when he runs to hug you after, "did you see that, did you see what i did?" as he bounced on his feet like a little kid. similarly, he listens intently as you rant about the shows your watching and chimes in his own theories and opinions. he adoringly watches you doing your own hobbies and is utterly amazed. he supports your dreams and ambitions and wholeheartedly believes in you. a stark contrast to the person in front of you who always made you feel... invalid. in all aspects.

bile rose up your throat, but you managed to put on a fake smile, scrunching your nose. "hm i'm actually waiting for him, so if you excuse me." you swiftly turned on your heel but he caught your wrist and pulled you back, causing your heart to stop.

"hey where do you think you're going," he cooed, his tone more menacing and dark than before. "we could wait for your boyfriend right here, while we catch up."

you dropped the facade and straight up glared at him, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. he didn't get the chance to hit you before when you were together, but he was always aggressive–slamming doors, throwing stuff across the room, punching walls, death grip on your shoulders and wrists. if you hadn't left him sooner, he would have eventually gotten a lot more physical with you. that thought alone scared you even when you weren't together anymore. he still acted as if he had every right.

"i have nothing to say to you. quite frankly i don't give a shit about you or what's going on in your life."

he let out a bitter chuckle, refusing to let go of you. "shame, it's just because i think you've put on a bit of weight. you seemed to have let go of yourself hm?"

taken aback, your mouth hung open. you tried to find the words to bark back at him but your mind went blank. you scolded yourself for allowing him to have such an effect but most of all you couldn't fathom how highly he must have thought of himself to talk and act like that.

satisfied with the way you stopped struggling as he hit a nerve, he continued provoking you. "how do you expect anyone to love you-no at least just like you when you look like that, come on," he clicked his tongue.

tears welled up in your eyes out of pure anger and hatred, but you weren't going to let him see that. you swallowed thickly at the lump in your throat. your voice was shaky but you managed to tell him off with finality. "that's fucking rich coming from you and your inexistent hygiene. you have no right to treat me like shit again, not when we were together and most certainly not when we are not."

you could tell he was always so used to having his way and having the final say on things as you saw his jaw clench and eyes twitch. he was fuming and his grip impossibly becoming tighter.

a breath of relief huffed out of your mouth as you heard a group of people approaching, that must be bokuto and the team. your heart swelled as you spot him in the crowd, tall and brooding as usual.

"you guys go on ahead," he called after his teammates as he jogged over to you. his smile was quickly wiped off when his eyes trailed to where your ex had his unwelcome grip on you. you took the opportunity to finally yank your hand away and rub the spot he had grasped.

"hey, babe what's going on?" he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you flush against his side out of instinct. he stared the man down with a scowl you were pretty sure you'd never seen before.

"nothing," your ex was all too quick to answer, teeth clenched in annoyance. you felt like you narrowly missed him getting physical with you again and you shuddered at the thought. "i was just leaving anyway."

it was bokuto's turn to put a death grip on him and you noticed how your ex winced in the slightest. you kept your grin to yourself. your boyfriend turned to look at you, eyes gentle and voice soft. "is everything alright, princess? did he do something?"

your heart fluttered at that. you glanced up at your ex, he had a look of panic in his eyes yet he tried to mask it with annoyance. as satisfying as it was to watch him be put in his place, you didn't want to give him the luxury of your care. you would have paid good money to watch him get smacked in the face, by your beefcake of a boyfriend no less, but you deemed him unworthy of you and bokuto's time and energy.

you wrapped your arms around bokuto's waist, snuggling to his chest as you provokingly smile up at your ex. "forget about it, kou. we have so many better things to do. let's not waste our time with him." bokuto melted into your touch, hesitantly freeing him.

he placed a kiss on your temple as you skipped your way to his car. you could feel he was still uneasy about the encounter but you didn't wanna ruin both of your moods over something as useless as that.

"what was that even about, what did he tell you?"

you playfully pouted at him. "hm a lot of nasty things i would not care to repeat. anyway do you think i gained weight?" you let go of his hand to raise your arms on either side and do a little spin for bokuto. as nonchalant and playful as you tried to put it, you can't help but feel bothered.

he stopped in his tracks, the expression on his face was unreadable. he didn't answer but grabbed your hand instead and led you to his car.

hand on the steering wheel and eyes trailed forward, he finally spoke. "first of all i don't know what he said exactly. in hindsight i might have done something pretty bad if i found out."

you offered a tight lipped cheeky smile as he turned to you.

"second of all you should have at least let me hit him one time."

"hm no, jerks who use a singular bar of soap for the entirety of their hygiene do not deserve rights. you're too good to give him the time of day."

you both broke out to a hearty chuckle, touching his arm and leaning your head against his shoulder. you opened your mouth to speak but bokuto beat you to it.

"and yes i think you did gain weight."

you stared at him confused, eyebrows raised and mouth agape.

"because i take good care of you. you look so much happier and healthier as opposed to when you lost weight because you were always stressed and miserable because of him." you searched his eyes for a hint of insincerity, but they were almost sparkling with adoration and love. "i think you look perfect. i love you, every part of you."

he reached over to hold your cheek, your face heating up at the gesture. you leaned against his touch, eyes glossed over.

"i love you, kou. literally how did i get so lucky."

he placed a quick peck on the tip of your nose, starting the engine to distract you from the blush appearing on his face.

miya atsumu

dating the miya atsumu has been everything but boring. you knew he had a lot of dedicated fan girls, so to speak. though rest assured atsumu only had eyes for you, you still loved to look your best whenever you went out together.

especially since this was your first fancy dinner date and night out with him in a while, you went all out—the dress, the hair, the makeup, the shoes and accessories. atsumu couldn’t help but feel as though he won the lottery.

he couldn’t keep his hands to himself all night, always an arm around your waist or a hand resting on your thigh. he kept checking you out, too like he was trying to gather the courage to shoot his shot with you. he was being an adorable little dork and your biggest hypeman.

you both weren’t sure where to go after you’ve indulged in a fancy dinner at some high end restaurant and your boyfriend was dead set on showing you off. he argued that you spent so much time and effort to look this good and he didn’t want to waste that. luckily though his teammates were out drinking on this lovely saturday evening and you both decided to crash in.

the loud music buzzed through the walls and floor, the lights were dim and colorful and just as intoxicating, bodies clashed and melted into each other on the dance floor.

you were left alone in your booth as atsumu went to get more drinks, the rest of the guys were just scattered around the club and making the most out of their well deserved break.

“if it isn’t y/n,” a voice you immediately recognized, despite being tipsy from the alcohol, half-shouted from behind you.

you spared him an uninterested eyes, bringing your glass to your lips as you rolled your eyes. “what the hell do you want from me?”

he claimed a seat across from you, propping his elbows up. “have you no shame?” he clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “dressed like a slut surrounded by all those men what would your new little boyfriend think of this behavior?”

you put your glass down with a bit more force than intended, spilling some of the drink on the table. “that’s none of your business. get lost.”

“it is if you’re acting like a whore right after we broke up, don’t you have a little bit of respect left for me or yourself?” he continued to taunt, leaning back on his seat.

you narrowed your eyes, rage bubbling up from the utter bullshit he was spewing. “you have always acted like a whore when we were together. i say this again, whatever i choose to do with my life is none of your fucking business. leave,” you gritted through your teeth.

a laugh resounded from behind you followed by a chaste kiss on the crook of your neck. atsumu claimed his seat beside you as he set your drinks down. you and your ex both looked at him surprised and confused. he draped an arm over your thighs and crossed his leg over the other obnoxiously. “oh by the way i think she looks fucking hot.”

you blinked back at him, confused.

“you were wondering what would your new little boyfriend think of this behavior,” he mocked in a whiny voice, making you snicker. “i think she looks hot and i’m glad she’s having fun.” he glared at him through his lashes as he took a long sip from his drink.

after a beat of awkward silence in your booth, your ex finally scoffed. “you should keep your girlfriend on a short leash. she’s known to mess around with other guys when we were still together.”

you rolled your eyes but before you could open your mouth to deny his entirely wrong claim, atsumu leaned over, setting his glass down. he looked almost amused with his bored eyes and slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “is she known for that really or did you just spread those rumors when your ego couldn’t handle being dumped, rightly so i might add.”

annoyed and humiliated, your ex struggled to find a response but refused to back down. he looked at you instead, sneering. “oh i see, i get it now. you just really love the attention don’t you? you love having men gawk at you and your boyfriend thinks you’re all that.”

“oh get over yourself,” you scoffed folding your arms over your chest. “your head must be so far up your ass to think i look like this for you or anyone else for that matter.”

atsumu chuckled, shaking his head. “mhm, trust me you’re the farthest thing on her mind especially when i get to fuck her senseless when we get home.”

you snapped your head at your boyfriend, eyes wide and cheeks burning with embarrassment. “tsumu!” you half-whispered half-shouted, pinching his side.

“oops sorry, guess i wasn’t supposed to say that,” he laughed as he gathered your things in his hands. “just thought you should know, since you act like your opinion still matters.”

you were silent the whole way home, unsure of how to feel. you were furious that your ex had the nerve to say such degrading words at you to the point where you wondered if he was right. although atsumu defended you, being the cocky bastard he was, you wondered how he felt about other people checking you out.

your ex used to scold you for dressing up, accusing you of seeing someone else behind his back. he used to be annoyed at you whenever you got catcalled or checked out in public, saying it could have been avoided if you dressed modestly.

“tsum, do you think…” you couldn’t bring yourself to finish the words, suddenly being conflicted and hating yourself. an involuntary sob escaped your lips as atsumu pulled up to the driveway.

he pulled you into his chest wordlessly and stroked your hair. “what we’re not going to do is let that idiot’s words get to you, okay? i’m sorry he ruined your night, angel. i’m here, it’s okay.”

“but i- it’s my fault. i shouldn’t have-“

“i don’t care,” he announced, making you stare up at him with teary eyes. “dress however you want, i can fight,” he grinned, flexing his arms in an attempt to make you smile.

it worked.

he placed a kiss on your forehead before thumbing your tears away. “we both know he was just trying to get in your head. i won’t let him fuck with your mind like that anymore okay? i love you, angel.”

you sniffled a small “i love you too”, making him smile to himself.

“let’s go inside, i’ll make sure we end this night on a nice note,” he whispered, giving you a playful wink. you chuckled but felt your face heat up once more, recalling he was going to fulfill the promise he made back at the club.

sakusa kiyoomi

you and sakusa were quite the opposites but that’s exactly why you worked—you balanced each other out nicely. he was quiet and reserved, you were chatty and cheerful. you rambled about the million different things going on in your pretty little head, and he listened intently.

likewise, sakusa was often busy with training. days like these, when you got to go out with him doing all sorts of fun stuff, didn’t come often so you wanted to make the most out of it. your boyfriend was surprisingly willing to indulge you in a full day of going around town, sightseeing and shopping, trying out different food you saw along the way.

you were both pretty spent by sunset. your last stop happened to be a quaint cafe with homey and aesthetic interior. you thought nothing could possibly ruin the wonderful day you had just spent with your boyfriend.

as always, you were doing most of the talking while sakusa gave you curt replies, simple head nods and shakes. it didn’t mean he was any less interested or happy though. he felt at ease despite having been around people all day because you were around. you held his hand, gave him reassuring smiles, and made sure he was alright. whenever he felt uncomfortable, you would always put him first and his heart swelled every time because he always felt how much you cared about him.

though you felt you were talking his ears off, he made sure you knew he was enjoying your company through little gestures. he would give your hand a gentle squeeze, recall the story you were telling to see if he got the details of the gossip right, he would occasionally give his opinions on the things you thought of buying, and pose shyly for your spontaneous picture taking.

“omi you look like a pinterest boy,” you squealed, fishing your phone out of your pocket to snap a quick photo. you could barely tell, but he was smiling under his mask.

“is that supposed to be a compliment,” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

you bite back a grin, reaching over to brush his curls away from his face. “a huge one.” he was startled at first, but a blush quickly crept up his face to where his mask couldn’t hide it. you giggled, making him playfully swat your hand away.

you excused yourself to order for the both of you.

“still overbearing as ever i see,” a voice whispered from behind you.

you quickly turned around to see your ex sneering down at you. “excuse me?” you huffed, taking a cautious step back. the cafe was slightly crowded but he was the last person you ever expected to see, especially after the lovely day you just had.

“it’s just that you haven’t changed at all. you are still so unbearably annoying,” he enunciated with spite as he motioned to where sakusa was sat, busy scrolling through his phone.

“you have no idea what you’re talking about. i just wanna get coffee, so excuse me,” you dismissed him quickly, not wanting him to notice how your heart clenched at his words.

you recalled the absolute torture you went through with him when he would push and pull you away whenever he pleased, until eventually dumping you because you were “too much”—too clingy, affectionate, talkative, that you didn’t leave him space to breathe because you were always hovering over him.

he clicked his tongue, stopping you mid step. you should have just went to the counter, you took note. “can’t believe you never learned your lesson. i feel so bad for your new guy, he looks so fed up with you already.”

there was a satisfied smirk on his face when you turned to look at him. what were you even supposed to say to him? you knew he was purposely riling you up, and it worked.

“i’m not sure what you want me to say to that,” you spat glaring at him, balling your fists.

“exactly, nothing because you know i’m right. i was right all along that you wouldn’t find anybody who would want to put up with your bullshit,” he snickered humorlessly.

“speak for yourself,” sakusa’s cold tone cut through the conversation abruptly. he towered above your ex as he stood his full height and looked down at him, almost in disgust.

“what’s taking so long?” he jerked his head towards you.

you stammered for an answer, so your boyfriend grabbed your hand instead and pulled you to his side. he was never big on pda and so were you, but your heart danced around in your chest giddily nonetheless.

“you must be so awfully miserable with your life that you feel the need to drill those thoughts into her head,” he retorted, eyes narrowing at your stunned ex. “quite frankly you’re the intolerable one so you have to gaslight and manipulate the shit out of someone into staying with you,” he snickered, pulling his mask down to flaunt his vicious grin.

he turned to you with a soft smile, kissing your temple before hauling you away. “let’s go, love. this place suddenly became filthy and disgusting for some reason. it reeks.”

“i don’t find you annoying or anything,” sakusa awkwardly blurted out as you quietly sipped your iced coffee in an entirely different cafe, one with an open rooftop and a breathtaking view. “i’m not very good with words… or actions for that matter but i really love you and your clinginess and affection.”

you stared at him with the drink still your hand as you struggled to find the words to say. he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck shyly, which only made you want to smother him more. you hopped off your seat and nuzzled to his side. he was glad you were too busy teasing him to notice how much he was blushing.

“awww omi i love you too,” you cooed. “i knew you loved my teasing all along!” you repeatedly poked his sides, making him jerk away.

when he seized your hand and looked you in the eyes, bringing his face a few inches from yours, you faltered. “you’re trying to brush it off, but i know he messed you up badly. just because i suck at showing it, doesn’t mean i love you any less.”

the sudden vulnerabilty, in a public place no less, tugged at your emotions. the tears rolled down your cheeks on their own.

chuckling, sakusa ruffled your hair and pulled you into a quick hug. “finish that already, i can’t wait to go home and shower,” he muttered, changing the subject.

you snuck a quick kiss over his mask, grinning. “i love you, omi.” you giggled at how he blinked a few times before stuttering out an awkward “i love you too, idiot.”