#literally I’m gonna think about this for the rest of the day I’m not joking
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kedsandtubesocks · 8 months ago
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TAYLOR!! TAYLOR
Oh my god…I think I died reading this???? Like my soul astral projected out of my body and I’m typing this to you from another realm of existence because holy shit was that SUBLIMINAL!!!! 🥹😭
Okay but first off this idea is absolutely incredible and the way you made this work so seamlessly, we love a legend and icon!
Then the work you put into unfolding the story for us - giving us so much yet not enough as both reader and the audience was phenomenal truly, like you let us explore the world without dragging it out & instead let it slowly seep out like a fog we had to sort through was just!!! GAH! And the way that all mirrors Dieter’s abilities??? And that haziness??? It’s haunting in the most profound ways
And okay…but the moth imagery and metaphor my beloved HELLO!!
You think of those electric lamps under your grandfather’s porch that drew in moths with dust brown wings. Moths that ended up dead on the wooden floor.
But he laughs. Laughs and your moth wings get caught in the light of the white gleam of his fangs.
I want to live in these lines and in that imagery and metaphor, I can’t get over it seriously. It’s beautiful and brilliant and i want to write full on close reading passages on it and how stunning it is and just gush and ramble about your talent!!!
Also this imagery here:
A warm tongue saturates the skin of your neck and you realize there are devil faces in the wood carving of the ceiling, your head tipped back and arms wrapped around his shoulders.
Oh my god what utter horror and beauty?
And the way this all reflects into Dieter himself? The demon hidden away like the demons in the ceiling and the moth that’s both horror and brilliance and the way you not only portrayed that but didn’t once stray away from Dieter’s core of being charming and smug and almost a bit…dangerous??
Yeah I really am obsessed with all of this babe I can’t even stop myself from rambling about this but I gotta cause I’m making a fool of myself LMAOOO
Thank you so much for sharing this magic with us and for all the love and care I can feel radiating off of this amazing piece!!! 🌹🥀🖤💕✨
Hey I love you and I’m having thots about vampire!Dieter and his hedonistic lifestyle and his lavish parties at his estate and how he invites you up to show you his private rooms and he-
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Oh, you mean like when he asks you about your--
Pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader
Warnings: flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter, unbeta-ed because i needed to write something or someone was going to die
A/N: look at what you've done @sp00kymulderr you've gone and given a perfectly good fic LORE
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“Theories.”
“What?” 
Dieter’s smirk pulls his mouth and his head towards the floor-to-ceiling windows. He rubs his fingers together, his wrist dangling over the edge of the deep-backed leather chair. The clean lines of his Armani pants and wing-tipped shoes give him the impression of leaning forward, as if he intended to tumble right through those windows and out into the party below. The music is muted, smothered, but the lights illuminate the sky like the sun beneath the waves. 
“Your theories. About all of this. About my dad, granddad. Everyone who’s ever walked in here – press or not –,” he lazily drags his gaze up from your ass to your tits for the third time that night, “– has had some wild theories that I just love to listen to. Little bedtime stories to put me to sleep. So let’s hear ‘em.”
You had doubts about this dress when you left your apartment but you have to dig your nails into your palms to keep from tugging it back down over your thighs because you know you have something every time Dieter looks at you. Maybe not for long, but you might be the first person in fifty years to walk out of here with something to say.
Your heart suddenly fluttering higher in your throat, you turn away towards the movie memorabilia lining the walls in glass shelves to give him the angle he’s been inching towards all night. Over your shoulder, you see his eyes drop – predictably. You let the line out a bit more and bend at the waist to examine the original glove from The Natural. 
“I’m sure you’ve heard them all, Mr. Bravo. The mystery around your family is nearly as old as Hollywood itself so I’m sure there’s nothing I can say that you haven’t heard before. Which reminds me . . .” You straighten up and, by some miracle, he meets your eyes, gaze no longer wandering. “Why me?” 
His mouth curls, but it’s the glint in his eyes that shows razor-sharp teeth. 
“I’ve always admired the brevity of wit, but you’re going to have to be more specific.”
Your jacket creaks when you cross your arms, eyebrow arched. “I’ve been with The Mezzanine for five years with half-a-dozen bylines under my belt. There’s a list of more experienced reporters a mile long. Why, after ignoring every press inquiry for the past twenty years, did you ask me to interview you? Oh, and consider this my first official question.” 
With an expansive inhale, Dieter draws himself to his feet. He takes a few steps towards the windows, just before the light catches the shine of his shoes. 
“Give me a theory and I’ll answer your question.”
You frown at his broad shoulders. Streaks of fuschia and green and gold tangle in his curls, setting the ends on fire. You think of those electric lamps under your grandfather’s porch that drew in moths with dust brown wings. Moths that ended up dead on the wooden floor. 
You find yourself inches from his left shoulder. 
“That’s not how these things usually go, Mr. Bravo.” 
“Humor the old hermit.” He grins and the smell of spice and smoke and lineage blooms in your nose. You school your face, swallowing down your beating heart. 
“The mob. So why me?”
Dieter chuckles. “The mob?”
“Happened to Frank Sinatra, didn’t it?”
“I don’t appreciate the comparison,” Dieter sneers. “Blue Eyes was an asshole and an idiot.”
You turn towards him, your turn to grin. “Speaking from personal experience?”
“Yes, actually.” 
“Unbelievable.” You roll your eyes and wander back towards the cabinet. It’s now you notice the odd placement of the couch and chairs in front of the memorabilia. As if hours were spent staring at them. “Do you have anything to drink?”
Dieter blinks at you. “Uh. No. Do you want me to call up for one?”
“No, Mr. Bravo, I want you to answer my question: why me?”
“Because you care.”
Dieter turns away from the lights, the music, the night and stares at you. The teasing sparkle, the sardonic grin – they’re gone. A different man stands before you – one with the same beautiful set of curls, with the same soft eyes. But you see something on his face you didn’t think was possible: yearning. 
“Everyone who ever came here only wanted a piece of me. Of this. Of my legacy. In fifty years, no one has ever wanted to know the magic in the movies. The magic of . . .” Dieter laughs quietly, joylessly. He looks around and runs his tongue against his upper teeth. “The mob? C’mon, you can do better than the mob.”
You take a step forward. Electric lamps be damned.
“I’m doing a terrible job of interviewing you.”
“Hardly.” His lips pout before pulling back into a grin. “We’re getting to know each other.”
Another step. 
“One for one?”
“Of course.”
“Then in debt to the US government for World War II propaganda. Why did your grandfather step out of the spotlight at the peak of his career?”
“Ford was as much a nazi as any of them and no Bravo would ever stoop so low, so no. And Grandpappy Bravo had health issues.”
“He was forty-five.”
“Forty-two, actually. The same age I am now.” He grins down at you and you find yourself staring up at him. Had his eyes always had that golden circle in the center?
“Give me another theory.”
“Drugs – boring but reliable. Why was your father so secretive about his role as a financial backer during the 60s movie revival?”
“He hated the attention, as much as a Bravo can. You’re getting closer.”
“It was drugs?” You tear your gaze that had somehow slipped to his lips back up to his eyes, but Dieter shakes his head.
“A drug of some kind, but not the kind you’re thinking of. A powerful drug. The most powerful.”
“Yeah? And what would that be?”
“Life itself.” Again, you see his teeth and without your control, your heart leaps into your throat. You narrow your eyes against the brilliant light of his mouth.
“Why do you care so much about my theories?”
“Because you’re not asking the right questions. You’re close, but not quite.” 
His hand floats against your jaw, fingertips crackling in the millimeter above your skin, and that spicy scent floods your brain in a sudden avalanche that makes your knees wobble. You huff, dizzy, a fog settling across your mind, and you put a hand against his chest to keep you from stumbling. His thumb drags against your bottom lip and that bright sensation becomes a focus point by which the entire universe revolves around. 
His eyes are entirely golden now.
“Ask the question you’ve been begging to, darling.”
You swallow through the haze, through the pounding of your heart, through the heaviness of your knees, and the wetness in your underwear. 
“No,” you mumble, “I . . . Dieter, you’ll laugh.”
“Try me, sweetheart.” His other hand joins his first, cradling your jaw, dragging you closer. “I want to hear it.”
“I think you’re a vampire.” The words dribble off your numb lips but even through the lag, you know you’ve screwed up. Something has gummed up the crevices of your brain, but that’s not the thing to say to the highly-eccentric social recluse you’ve put your career at risk to interview. 
“Dieter, I’m sorry – I-I-I didn’t mean–,”
But he laughs. Laughs and your moth wings get caught in the light of the white gleam of his fangs. His hand slips to your waist as his thumb brushes your cheek, golden eyes anything but angry.
“I knew you were clever.” 
Your nails dig into his jacket where you don’t feel a heartbeat. Your knees want you to fall forward into him, but your elbows struggle as the last shreds of a survival instinct. 
“Dieter–,”
“Shh, darling, you are smart. Too smart for your own good. You knew the truth the second you walked in here and you did it anyway. But that big brain won’t let you believe it until you see it, so breathe, darling. Breath and it will be over in a minute.”
He lowers his face, his cold breath against your neck cracking through the haze, icing your heart. You whimper, afraid –
Afraid he’s going to kill you.
Afraid that you’ll let him.
A warm tongue saturates the skin of your neck and you realize there are devil faces in the wood carving of the ceiling, your head tipped back and arms wrapped around his shoulders. 
“No crying. I will make this very good for you.” 
You blink and the ice in your heart melts out the corner of your eyes, tears running off your cheeks.
“Will I die?”
Dieter lets out a noise that’s a whine and a groan all at once. “No. We’re not nearly done having fun.”
And he bites you.
Euphoria erupts across your skin, an electric pulse waking up every sense still left in your control. You shudder, then draw him closer. He groans, not a single drop of blood escaping to the carpet or your shirt or his jacket. He eats well and clean and there’s a part of you that entertains the idea of him losing control. 
But as quickly as it comes on, everything fades. Blackness comes on, thick and fast, and you hear him pull off your neck more than you feel it and his tongue is the last sensation you feel. 
“No, darling, by the end of this, you’ll be begging me for more.”
His promise is the last thing you hear before the darkness closes in on you completely. 
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samaraxmorgan · 3 months ago
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Your Roommate Sukuna
“That Time He Got Jealous Of His Twin Brother”
Modern no curse AU, Sukuna X Reader
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Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna! This is part of a series of drabbles and oneshots showing glimpses into you and Sukuna’s living situation!!
Contains: brothers au, pure fluff, slight Yuuji x Reader but we all know who you’re really here for, Sukuna is down bad, narration is mostly from Sukuna’s POV
Word Count: 1.80k
Series Masterlist - My Full Masterlist
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Sukuna is a fucking geinus.
His plan is full proof. His brothers put him in charge of buying the tickets for some stupid ass movie Yuuji wants to go see, and you always write your work schedule down on the calendar taped to the fridge. Sure, yeah, maybe he had to call out sick for today because this was the only day that Choso had work and you didn’t, but now he knows that his plan will fall perfectly into place. Yuuji is already at the apartment, you’ll come downstairs eventually, and Yuuji will invite you to come to the movie in Choso’s place, making it look like a total coincidence and definitely not something he’s been meticulously planning all week.
Could he have just, I don’t know, asked you to go on a date with him? Of course not, that’s fucking ridiculous. This makes so much more sense.
I mean, you absolutely loved The Human Centipede, definitely weren’t covering your eyes in terror and disgust when he showed it to you, so it’s a no brainer that you’ll just adore Human Earthworm. Hah! What a fuckin’ joke, you’ll be dragging Sukuna out of the theatre within five minutes and begging him to take you out somewhere else without his annoying twin brother.
It’s perfect.
Him and Yuuji are lounging on opposite ends of the couch while Yuuji is going on and on about an Elden Ring boss he can’t beat. Sukuna has his boots propped up on the coffee table and his arms resting behind his head as he half listens to his brother, and more so keeps an ear out for your footsteps upstairs.
“I was gonna try and beat her without summons but she’s kicking my ass, how many tries did it take you?”
“One.”
“Ugh!” Yuuji flops backwards on the couch, grabbing a throw pillow and shoving it over his face, his defeated whines muffled through the plush cotton, “She’s so impossible!”
Footsteps, finally. As you walk into the living room Yuuji uncovers his face, and you stop dead in your tracks, pointing at him, and then his brother, back and forth a few times before rubbing your eyes.
“Holy shit, there’s two of you?”
Oh yeah, I never mentioned my family huh?
Sukuna just gives you a smug smirk, “Three, but the emo one couldn’t make it.”
Yuuji perks up, jolting upright on the couch and giving you a bright smile, “Hi! I’m the normal one!”
You pull a chair out from the kitchen table, plopping yourself down into the wooden seat, “I think I’m gonna faint.”
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
Sukuna is… a fucking idiot.
He knew his brother had a bubbly personality and could get along with literally anyone, but how was he supposed to know that you two would hit it off so well? Yuuji is pulling out all the stops, holding the door open for you, offering to pay for your popcorn, god it’s like he’s trying to get on Sukuna’s nerves.
Granted, it’s not like Sukuna told him that he likes you, but I mean for fucks sake that’s his twin brother! Shouldn’t he have some sort of sixth sense for this kind of thing?
That pink haired fucker has you wrapped around his little finger, you’re looking at him with googly eyes and cheesing like it’s fucking picture day. Ridiculous. Why don’t you ever smile like that for him? He’s funny!
I’m never letting him in the apartment again.
The three of you walk up to the top row of the nearly empty theater, Sukuna making sure to sit right between you and Yuuji. Previews are rolling on the screen as Sukuna is trying his damndest to hide the scowl on his face, his large arms crossed over his broad chest as he watches the way the large screen reflects different colors into your eyes. He didn’t really think this far ahead, he’s got you next to him at the movies but… what now? He’s mentally kicking himself enough as it is for not considering his overly charismatic brother, and now he’s realizing that he doesn’t even know what his own intentions are.
Did he just want to take you somewhere? Is he trying to sleep with you? Does he want to be… romantic with you?
God, what has he become? He’s supposed to be the tough fucking scary guy and he’s not only getting shown up by his nerdy brother, but also getting nervous at the thought of making a move on you.
Yuuji flings popcorn in your direction, making you squeal out a giggle as it gently lands in your hair. Sukuna groans, hardly paying attention as he’s deep in thought, running his finger through your hair and flicking the popcorn away. He’s so consumed in his own head that he completely misses the blush that tints your cheeks at his tender touch.
Should I have even bothered with this? I feel like staying at the house would’ve been better at this point.
A piece of popcorn flies into his eye.
“Ugh,” This is so stupid, Sukuna rubs his eyelid with his thumb, “Watch it, brat.”
Yuuji tosses his hands up defensively and you giggle again, leaning over the armrest and placing your pointer finger on Sukuna’s cheek, tilting his face to turn towards you. Have your eyes always been that bright?
“Ooh, bullseye.” He can feel your breath fanning on his face, you’re so close, but just as abruptly as you leaned in, you lean back into your seat. God, he wants more than anything to tell you to come back, but the words wouldn’t be able to escape his lips if he tried. Unfortunately, all he manages to do is glare down at you and make you shift awkwardly under his gaze, mumbling out a quick apology.
Fuck. I think I scared them.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
From what you’ve been able to gather, this movie is weird. Is it horror or romance? You’ve been having trouble paying attention, far too distracted by Yuuji leaning over the very annoyed looking Sukuna to excitedly whisper tidbits about the movie to you. But every time you look over to Yuuji your eyes can’t help but wander to Sukuna’s profile, the flashing lights of the large screen illuminating his tattooed skin, his bottom lip tutting out to blow the loose strand of his pink hair resting on his brow out of his eyes-
Ah dammit, I’m doing it again.
You’re so confused. Sukuna has been giving you mixed signals all night, sweetly running his fingers through your hair one moment, then glowering at you like he wants you dead the next. He’s so unpredictable, and you’ve been so distracted by him all evening that you’ve hardly been able to pay any attention to poor Yuuji, giving him bright smiles and fake laughs while your mind is completely consumed with Sukuna.
He’s been so grumpy the entire evening, you’ve been feeling like he’s… disappointed? Is he mad his other brother couldn’t come? Is he mad that you took the emo one’s place? Would he rather somebody else have gone to the movie with him? It was Yuuji’s idea for you to tag along, so it’s safe to assume that if Sukuna wanted you here he would have just invited you, right?
But then every now and again his eyes flicker to you, watching. Why is he looking at you like that? With his gaze so uncharacteristically soft, scanning your face like he’s searching for something, from the corner of your eye you can catch him looking at your lips.
Is there something on my face?
You’re ripped from your thoughts as a blood curdling scream erupts from the speakers, making you jump in your seat. You catch the tiniest glimpse of a smirk creeping on the corner of Sukuna’s lips as he sits like a rock, completely unbothered as per usual. You gently kick his foot under the seat, and he presses his large boot onto the top of your sneaker, pinning your shoe under his and keeping your foot locked in place under the sole of his steel toe boot.
You cross your arms over your chest, letting out a frustrated huff at him that only makes his grin grow wider, his face still pointed towards the large screen as he flashes his canines at you. He props his elbow on the armrest between you, resting his chin on the ball of his palm as he peers down at you with a smug grin.
“You ready to get out of here yet?”
Cocky fucker, I swear he gets off on making me mad.
“No.” You snap back defensively.
Unbeknownst to you, his question was not rhetorical. But you’re in it now, determined to sit through this entire movie even if it kills you. You’re bothering him enough just by being here, the last thing you want to do is make him feel like he needs to leave.
His smirk shifts into a grimace as he taps his boot on top of your shoe. You slide your sneaker away but he loops his calf around yours and pulls your leg towards him, gently kicking your foot. If you didn’t know better you’d almost think he was… trying to play footsies with you? You’re not really sure what he’s trying to do, all you know is that he’s still leaning on the armrest between you and probably unintentionally pulling you closer by your leg.
Your arm brushes against his as you try to maneuver your elbow onto the armrest, quietly muttering to him “You’re hogging up all the space.”
He leans down slightly to whisper in your ear, “Tragic. Use the other one.”
You nudge his forearm with your elbow, “Just move your arm.”
He lets out a quiet “Tch” and raises his arm to rest over the back of your seat instead, “This better, brat?”
You nod your head as a blush creeps onto your cheeks, luckily hidden by the darkness in the room. When you relax back into your chair you can feel his arm pressing into the back of your neck and his fingers lightly graze against your shoulder. It feels… kinda comforting, you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to lean into his touch and your heart starts to pound at the thought.
You don’t dare to look at Sukuna, deciding to quietly enjoy the moment. Which is a real shame, because if you did look at him there’s a chance you’d catch the way he’s gnawing on his bottom lip with a face that looks almost as flustered as your own.
He might be enjoying this more than you are, and he might even be thinking that having to sit through this movie might not be so bad after all.
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A/N: POV you and Sukuna are two idiots who are into each other but neither of you have the balls to do something about it. Also writing Sukuna’s POV for the narration was SO FUN!!! We love our delusional king who sees you god forbid smile at another person and immediately assumes you’re in love with them Dividers by @adornedwithlight
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!
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luvlystarr · 6 months ago
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.・。.・゜❃・.・❃・゜・。.
Prompt: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley and the sweetheart next door
Content: Pure fluff
I just want to say thank you so much for the support on my Ghost Grumpy x Sunshine fanfic!! I didn’t expect it to reach 1k notes and I’m so grateful that you guys enjoyed it!🤍
.・。.・゜・゜
Simon kept shuffling around his bed over and over again, unable to sleep.
It was 12 PM and he had just came back from deployment. For three week straight his body was surviving off of coffee and adrenaline. He desperately wanted to sleep but unfortunately his new neighbor was moving in.
Through the thin walls he could hear the constant movement of their feet and the dropping of multiple boxes. Simon groaned into his pillow before finally trudging towards the noises. His neighbor hasn't even fully moved in and he's fed up already. He swung his door open, glaring at the door across his, but he instantly felt regret when he saw your helpless figure trying to hold multiple boxes all at once. Beads of sweat formed on your face and your chest was heaving rapidly, it looked like you were gonna faint any minute.
You saw Simon from the corner of your eyes and gave him an apologetic smile.
“Good afternoon! I hope I’m not disturbing you or anything,” you chuckled embarrassingly.
Simon couldn’t help but adore your pretty smile and your sweet voice. All of the negative thoughts in his head flew out the window in an instant.
“It’s alright, just keep it down, yeah?”
Before you could respond, one of the boxes slipped past your hands and dropped to the floor.
A small curse left your lips as you tried picking it up and, without even thinking, Simon rushed to grab it for you.
“Oh, thank you!” You beamed at his kind gesture.
Simon felt his heart melt at the sight of your pure joy.
“No problem, I could help you with the rest if you want.”
You tried insisting that he shouldn’t bother and you got everything in control. But Simon wouldn’t let you exhaust yourself. Besides, he would do anything to see that beautiful smile of yours once more.
After half an hour all the boxes were finally inside the empty apartment. It would’ve originally taken you another hour without Simon’s help. Now all you had to do was unpack, which was less work.
You were glad that your work for the day was done but Simon wasn’t. It meant that he would have to go back and say goodbye.
“I’ll see you around, Simon!” You say before you shut the door.
Your voice echoed throughout Simon’s mind, over and over again. He stood there for a moment, almost like he was in a trance.
He snapped back to reality. His hand wiped across his face at the unusual thoughts he was having. Who would’ve thought you would have such an effect on him?
The following day Simon was greeted by a knock on the door.
He opened it and there you were, the same gorgeous smile on your face while you held a container.
“Good morning! I just wanted to give you something before I leave for work.”
You open the container and reveal a dozen heart shaped cookies.
“I made you some cookies as a thank you gift!” You beamed.
At that point Simon’s heart was completely melted because of you. He couldn’t stop the stupid grin that crept across his face.
“Thanks,” he says as he takes the container.
After he took it, you stood there for a minute, fiddling with your fingers. You looked nervous about something.
“So, um.. I was thinking if you’d like to have dinner with me tonight. I don’t have friends in the city and I really want to treat you for helping me out— as long as you’re free and okay with it of course!” You stammered. Your cheeks were a rosy hue.
Simon’s mind went completely blank.
“Yeah, I don’t mind,” he quickly replied.
Hearing his words made your smile grow even wider. Your eyes were quite literally glittering with happiness.
“It’s a date then!” You giggle in a joking manner.
If only you knew how much your words caused heart rate to spike up the roof.
・゜・。. .・。.・゜・゜・。.
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cllightning81 · 8 months ago
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The Drivers - Part 1
Series Title : Younger Sister (TBC)
Summary: Being Lando Norris' sister made it surprising that it was one of your only visits to the paddock. Ollie made sure to introduce you to all the drivers and show you about.
Pairing/s: Oliver Bearman x Norris!Reader, Lando Norris x Sister!reader , Grid x Norris!Reader
Word Count : 1.2k
Masterlist
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Lando Norris Masterlist
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It wasn’t exactly hard being Lando’s sister, especially when you hardly went to races. Silverstone just never matched up with when you could take holidays from your part time job and the break from school but now you were close to finishing high school and had left your part time job to travel with Lando -with him paying for literally everything because what else should brother’s do?- 
The last couple of days of school and you finally decided it was time for you to change your phone wallpaper back to your favourite picture of yourself and Lando. When Lando got moved into F1, you changed your phone wallpaper back to a less obvious picture of yourself and Lando, so you didn’t get people wanting to be your friend just because of Lando. 
Now you were at the first race you had been to in a long while -Silverstone- sat in the Mclaren garage just wanting to annoy Lando as a little sister should do but he was interviewing and you didn’t want to be in front of the camera. That’s when you saw Max walk past the garage alone. Max was basically a brother he’d been about since as long as you could remember. 
“Max” you called before jumping on his back 
“Missing LN, are we?” He asked, and you nodded 
“Lan left me in the garage alone” you pouted, and he chuckled 
“What are you going to do when you’re the only one with him?” He asked, starting to walk again. 
“Where are you going?” You asked him, resting your head on his shoulder 
“Going to find your brother to return his property” He joked, and you slapped his arm. Max laughed as he walked to the media pen, stopping next to Lando and dropping you onto the floor 
“Your property, I believe” Max tapped your head before walking away
“Lan I’m bored” You whine, and his PR manager laughed 
“You didn’t bring anything to keep her entertained?” His PR manager asked 
“I thought she’d find some random F2 driver’s girlfriend to talk to, but obviously not” I pouted, shoving him away 
“I don’t know if they’re just random people or girlfriends and family” You shrugged, and he nodded 
“Fair point, I guess. Come on I’ll introduce you to Ollie he’s over there” You nodded, following behind him as he walked away, gripping onto his wrist 
“Y/N no one’s gonna kidnap you” He laughed, and you gripped his wrist tighter
“But it’s so busy, and I don’t know where I’m going” You whine as he comes to a sudden stop, causing you to bump into his back. 
“Ollie” the older sibling smiled at the younger boy, who was just happily sipping on his drink
“Oh hey Lando. Y/N” He smiled, looking up 
“Hey” You smiled back at him
“You already know Ollie?” Lando questioned, and you nodded
“I’ve not been avoiding Formula racing all together or living under a rock” You shrugged
“And he knows you?” Lando looked between the two of you.
“Ollie follows me on instagram. I became quite the popular girl at school” You giggle thinking back to prom when you were being questioned on how you were now followed by not only Lando but Oliver Bearman. What Lando didn’t need to know is that you two were secretly texting and had plans to go for ice cream after his sprint race while Lando was doing whatever practice. 
“Okay well bye. I’ll see you in an hour” Lando walked away, and that’s when it became awkward 
“You’ve definitely not been to a race in a while” Ollie chuckled, taking your smaller hand in his larger hand and moving you out of the media pen.
“They’re scary. There’s always so many people here, and I never know who I’m allowed to be talking to” you pouted 
“Come on I’ll introduce you to the drivers, some of them anyway” Ollie led you back into the paddock and in between all the different motorhomes starting with Ferrari as he was meant to be in there anyway.
“We’ll start with Ferrari because at least if you get lost, you can’t miss the bright red” He grinned, leading you inside and over to a couple of people talking. Charles and Carlos. You obviously knew who the drivers were. They just didn’t know who you were. 
“Done with your interviews?” Charles asked, and Ollie nodded
“Yeah, I finished those. Now I’m showing Y/N about the place” He smiled as both the Ferrari drivers looked at you. 
“Girlfriend?” Carlos asked, and Ollie shook his head as you laughed 
“Lando’s sister. I don’t know how I ended up with her” Ollie replied, and you looked up at him slightly offended
“Lando’s sister?” Charles repeated, and you nodded 
“Lando has another sister?” Carlos asked. 
“We didn’t meet while you were teammates. I was still quite busy with school. It’s been my first race for a while. I don’t know many people here” you replied as he nodded slowly 
“You look like Lando, to be honest” Charles tilted his head 
“It’s the curls” You shrugged as Ollie took your hand again 
“Next garage” He cheered, pulling you out. You gave a polite wave to the Ferrari drivers as Ollie pulled you to the Red Bull garage. You knew Max. When you stayed with Lando during holidays or lockdown, he would stream with Max. 
“Hey Y/N” Max smiled, wrapping you in a hug
“Finally! A familiar face” You hummed hugging him back 
“What happened to me introducing you to everyone?” Ollie asked, and you smiled, turning to look at him as you pulled back from the hug 
“Max and Lando are like best friends. Lando has a thing about people called Max” You joked as Max Fewtrell walked up behind you
“What about us Max’s?” He asked, causing you to jump and let out a scream 
“Bog off Max” you replied 
“Ohh not the Tracy Beaker line” He joked, and you rolled your eyes. Both Lando and Max still had a thing about you swearing, not like you were legally an adult, so you resorted to saying ‘Bog off’
“Are you lost? Do I need to carry you back to Lando”? He asked, and you shook your head
“Ollie is showing me about and introducing me to different people” You smiled, and he nodded, ruffling your hair 
“Well P is lost, so I’m gonna go find her. Be safe” Max walked off as Checo joined 
“Ah Checo this is Lando’s youngest sister Y/N” The Dutch man introduced you, and you smiled at Checo 
“Nice to meet you” you hummed, looking at Ollie for help. Checo and Lando weren’t exactly the best of friends. 
Ollie continued to introduce you to different drivers until it was time for him to return you to Lando - that was Lando’s words - so now you were following Ollie back to the Mclaren garage. He stopped outside, and you smiled at him 
“Thank you for showing me about” You thanked him, and he nodded
“Are we still up for ice cream tomorrow?” He asked, and you nodded 
“We are. But you’re coming to me. I still don’t know where I’m going” you replied 
“Then I’ll meet you outside here?” You smiled with a nod as Lando walked out the garage 
“Home time” He cheered, and you laughed, waving bye to Ollie as Lando walked you out of the paddock as he talked to Oscar. 
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Next Part
Tag List
@bearryyy
@molten-m122
@thewannabewriter
@lozzamen3
@barcelonaloverf1life
@hiireadstuff
@mxdi0
@f1kenzzz
@seasonswinter
@ellen3101
@via-ferns
@taygrls
@urfavsgf
@hwalllllllelujah
@vicurious28
@ririyulife
@taronyuhunter
@llando4norris
@sbrn0905
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osamucide · 17 days ago
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SAW THAT OBELISCO, I SAID “QUE LINDA” ⊹
. . . BSD dick headcanons . . . incl. select ADA, PM, + DOA
wc: 1.6k total, ~120 each
cw: detailed descriptions of cocks, balls, cum, bush, etc. big dick men, small dick men, average dick men, and all of them are very gorgeous to me
reid: dick headcanons. title from one of sabrina’s nonsense outros which i think about constantly
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—ADA!
okay, maybe I’m biased but I think DAZAI’S strapped. he’s right on the verge of eight inches hard. tiny, tiny upward curve, and sticks straight up against his stomach; has only a few little veins, a pale shaft, and a blushy pink tip that is just so kissable. uniform thickness; a little thinner than average. he doesn’t go out of his way to groom himself—his bush is usually pretty wild, but he’ll gladly adhere to his partner’s preference. you will not catch this man shaving his balls but it's fine because they're gorgeous (maybe a little smaller than average). frenulum is so sensitive to pressure; I think he’s a big fan of fucking his partner with just the first few inches. he cums an absurd amount, too; pretty, almost-transluscent loads that twitch out in one short spurt after another. ⊹
KUNIKIDA is packing too, sorry. a little thick for his length; probably almost six inches but boy it’s gonna be a stretch. no taper, but has a fat head that literally nails all the right spots perfectly. I think he has a a few freckles on his dick. some not-so-prominent veins aside from one running up the underside, warm pink all the way to the base where it fades into his skin tone, and his balls are so distinct—both clearly defined, and they twitch so much when he's receiving pleasure (please play with them). grooms himself almost completely, but leaves a patch at the base of his pelvis—it's a light sandy brown—only a little darker than the rest of the hair on his body—and his cum is thick, opaque, and dribbles out in globs. ⊹
ATSUSHI has more than he knows what to do with. he’s on the upward side of average; just under six inches, and it is so fucking pretty. has a single prominent vein running down the top and it is sensitive. pale like the rest of him until just beneath the head, where he's a cool pink; slight taper in thickness—a little thinner at the top, just beneath his head, which is round and weepy. he leaks so much precum. he's not great at maintenance, but his bush is probably a little on the thinner side anyway; like Kunikida's it's only a couple shades darker than the rest of his light hair. pearly, picturesque cum that's on the thicker side. breeder balls. ⊹
it’s kind of a cruel fucking joke how huge RANPO is. just a bit bigger than Dazai, but admittedly thicker, and he has veins for days. I can hardly see him grooming—too much of a hassle for something that makes no difference pleasure-wise—but he'll trim if his partner expresses any complaint about his unruliness (his bush is probably decently thick). pale, a little tanner toward the tip, and curves a bit to the side; I think he loves experimenting with different angles and positions while he's fucking his partner. another one with thick, opaque cum; his balls are pretty proportional to him (read: huge), and the underside of his shaft is so sensitive. loves being clenched down on over and over. ⊹
FUKUZAWA is just… so much man. a little on the slender side, but long. almost seven inches. veiny as hell; his cock is chiseled like a god's. tan near the base, paler near the tip, and all of him gets so blushy when he's hard; vigilant about routine trimming as a general rule, but he's extra responsive to how his partner prefers him to be groomed (or not). has a pair of balls that belong on a Florentine statue. he's another one that cums an obscene amount; milky and creamy like hot donut glaze, I'm not even kidding. probably tastes like it too. super sensitive on the large vein that runs up the underside of him, and all over the bundles of nerves packed into his tip—loves kitten licks before getting deepthroated. ⊹
TANIZAKI’S not packing anything huge, but god it’s got a perfect upward curve and prominent head that would catch against anyone’s insides so perfectly. four inches exactly, proportional thickness, and a prominent head that's absolutely the most sensitive part of him. has no particular grooming routine; he lets himself go usually, but is another that will adhere if his partner has a preference. moderately veiny, slightly darker than the rest of him, pink tip, and tight balls that hold more cum than they look like they're capable of; he gushes milky globs, and twitches wildly when he does. ⊹
—PM!
where do I start with CHUUYA… thick. absurdly thick. thee pussy destroyer. not lacking in length either; about six and half inches. only a tinge tanner than the rest of him, with a tip that goes red when he's worked up. has the prettiest bush known to man, which he keeps neat but doesn't ever get rid of completely. has thick, pretty balls that hang low and slap lewdly against his parter's hole(s)/chin/taint when he fucks them. doesn't cum an insane amount but it's gooey, sticky, viscous, and it drips down him so beautifully; small veins scattered all over and one large, prominent one that reaches from base to tip on his underside, and a few freckles. ⊹
AKUTAGAWA is another one that’s just ridiculous, because, like, no way the most stoic, don’t-touch-me ass man in the series is slanging this much dick. he probably doesn’t even realize it. almost seven inches, and he’s girthy too. so many veins; two prominent ones on the underside, and he curves a little to the side and then a little upward. anyway, he’s meticulous about grooming for comfort purposes. not a hair on him; I think he prefers at least a little on his partner, though. sensitive all over, but especially at the tip—which gets so red and cute when you tease him with your fingers or tongue. daintier balls full of thin, silky cum—probably tastes the sweetest on the whole list. ⊹
TACHIHARA’S on the lower end of the average spectrum, but fuck he knows what to do with it. a little under five inches, no curve in sight, average uniform thickness—he sticks straight out, tanner near the base, gradually pinker-to-redder toward the tip and he is so fucking leaky. practically drools precum when he’s turned on. satisfying girth without demanding a painful stretch; balls also on the smaller side but full of runny, opaque cum and he makes a mess every single time whether he intends to or not. grooms pretty vigilantly; usually almost bare if he's with a partner. his tip and the area just beneath it is so incredibly sensitive—slurp this man up. ⊹
ANGO is pretty and pale and slender and curves a teeny bit to the side and oh my god, he’s so sensitive. all over. from tip to base, being touched or clamped down on just immediately sends him skyward. I think he’s probably working with a hair under five inches, with a few select veins that twitch when he cums. he keeps a pretty patch of hair that connects to the sexiest happy trail—otherwise, I think he's pretty vigilant about grooming. suck on his balls, please—he'll get them so right for you to lick, stroke, play with. creamy cum, only a little on the watery side, and it almost looks artful when it spurts from him. ⊹
ODA’S probably got the closest thing to a monster cock, and the only one pulling ahead of Ranpo length-wise. nothing about him’s small. pushing nine inches hard. wider at the base than the tip, and l’m talking wide. fuck two hands, you’ll need four. doesn’t groom, but trims. tan and veiny, gets red and twitchy when he's aroused. this whole man was probably hand-made by god with the intent of breeding in mind, but to sum it up in two words: breeder balls. and they have so much stark, opaque cum in them—perfect consistency, and it shoots out in long, milky ropes. most sensitive around his base, so you better take all of him, okay? ⊹
—DOA!
don’t crucify me for this one (pun not intended) but FYODOR’S working with about four inches. I just can’t see him having a huge cock. but, his girth is incredibly satisfying. not an insane stretch, but enough for a pleasant fullness; he’s not veiny either, put his tip is so prominent and definitely drags wonderfully against any sensitive spots inside his partner. thin layer of hair he keeps neatly groomed; his tip is definitely the most sensitive part of him, but I think his balls are a close second. loves having his balls played with while he gets his cock sucked; will likely spurt double the amount of his thick, sticky cum if you do it. ⊹
SIGMA’S upward curve should be studied, truly. it’s probably some sort of divine geometry. uniformly pale from base to tip, blushes the smallest hint of pink when he's aroused. on the smaller side, probably pushing a little over four inches, and not particularly thick either but that curve—that curve fucking gets it done. very few visible veins other than one trailing up his underside, and the hair in this area is already sparse on him, so he doesn't groom much; maybe trims every so often. the seam running between his pretty balls is definitely the most sensitive, other than his tip. cum is watery, and probably also on the sweeter side. ⊹
NIKOLAI’S huge. send tweet. I can’t see him being any more or less than seven and a half inches. veiny motherfucker with a prominent head that pounds it good and the slightest, ittiest bittiest curve downward that feels so right when he hits it from the back. pale all the way up and down, except for his ultra-sensitive tip, which leans tanner than the rest of him; another one with balls that hang low and smack hard against whoever he's fucking (he loves the feeling of this). extremely twitchy when he cums; spurts out watery streams of pearly white, although he doesn't cum a lot. likes to watch it leak, drip, and gush out of/onto his partner. ⊹
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kairoot · 1 year ago
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OMGG the hickey prank hcs were so funny bge 😭😭😭 adding onto that anon,,,, u should do another tiktok prank thing with enha :0 like maybe the “hide my bfs here” or like a breakup prank, it’s up to u!!!!
“hide my bfs here” w. enha ₊˚★﹟
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genre: fluff, crack
warnings: none really, jokes
requested: yes!
pairing: enha x gn!reader
author’s note: i will be doing both pranks (hide my bfs here & breakup prank) because i think they’re both so funny. the break up prank will be a separate post so be on the look out! also, once again, thank u guys so much for the feedback im glad my writing doesn’t suck as much as i thought it did and ppl actually enjoy it 😭🤍
ss ➜ “hide my bfs here” prank on enhypen
heeseung ˚⋆ ✦
probably ponders on it
like wait what..
no like he’ll sit there for a good minute 😭
and then be like “wait im your..”
poor baby, give him a few moments
you and heeseung sat in your shared bedroom while he gamed. you were on the bed, waiting to catch him off guard.
he would talk to you whenever his friends would step away from their mic for a bit and then get back to talking with them so his attention on you was like 50-50. he was paying attention, but not enough to know the prank you were about to pull on him.
“hee,” you called his name, loud enough for him to hear.
he finished what he was saying to one of his friends and glanced back at you, “yeah, baby? what’s up?”
“you gotta hide, my bfs here.” you said in an urgent voice, causing him to halt his actions on his game. he sat in his chair, taking in what you said.
“but i’m your..-“ his thinking was cut short by your laughter. he realized what you were doing and only smiled before resuming his game.
“that’s embarrassing.”
jay ˚⋆ ✦
just might tell you to stfu 💀
nah but he’ll definitely look at you like “literally what are you talking about”
can only ignore you at that point
does not think you’re funny 🗣️‼️
you stood in the kitchen, talking with jay while he made dinner. he was talking about his day until you turned your camera in and interrupted him.
jumping off of the countertop, you hurriedly grab jay’s arm. “jay, hide! my boyfriends’ here!”
he dropped the knife he was using to cut tomatoes and turned to look at you.
“y/n, are you sick?”
he stood there, eyeing you like you were crazy, “seriously, what is wrong with you..”
you were definitely gonna post his reaction 💀
jake ˚⋆ ✦
falls for it 100%
is scared for his life until he realizes
then he thinks it’s kind of funny
except for the heart attack you almost gave him
probably thinks about it for the rest of the day
jake was helping you get ready so you two could go out for the day. he sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling on his phone while he waited for you to show him the next outfit option.
“okay, how about this one?” you asked him, turning in the mirror to give him a view of what you had on.
he placed a hand on your waist, turning you the other way, “yeah, i love this on you.”
you thanked him, giving him a quick kiss before pulling away hurriedly with a worried expression.
“what? what’s wrong?” his expression mirroring yours.
“you have to hide, my boyfriend just got here!” you pushed him towards the closet.
he scrambled into the closet, closing the door behind him. you could hear his panicking from outside the door as he panted.
“oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh..” he mumbled. there was silence until you stood outside of the door, giggling.
“jake, oh my g- jake, you’re my boyfriend!” you crouched on the ground, holding your stomach.
the door to the closet slowly opened as a still-frightened jake poked his head out.
“oh yeah..” he murmured to himself. stepping out, he joined in on your laughter, feeling embarrassed.
“i got so scared, oh man!”
(we know jake 😞)
sunghoon ˚⋆ ✦
is just like jay
except he pays no attention to it
just stands there like🧍🏽‍♀️what
moral of the story is your pranks never work on him
you were cuddled up with hoon, the horror film playing on the screen in front of you. he wanted to watch it since it was so close to halloween.
his arm wrapped tightly around you since he knew you’d probably be easily terrified of the jumpscares.
while the movie continued to play and there were no scary parts, you decided to play a prank on hoon just to see if he would fall for it.
“sunghoon,” you leaned away from his chest, causing him to hum in response.
“you have to hide, my boyfriends’ coming.” you gently pushed his shoulder, trying to get him off the couch.
he turned his head to you, eyebrows furrowed, “y/n, if you’re bored or you don’t wanna watch the movie, the you don’t have to.” he ignored your “prank” and continued to watch the movie.
(welp🧍🏽‍♀️)
sunoo ˚⋆ ✦
is not falling for it
jay pt3
just stared at you tbh
will probably just walk away
you were sitting next to sunoo on the couch, pretending to be on the phone while watching tv. he scrolled on his as you ended the “conversation”.
“nunu, you have to hide. my boyfriends here.” you placed your phone on the couch, looking at him worriedly.
he brought his hand down, placing his phone in his lap. he looked over at you, furrowing his eyebrows.
“y/n, sometimes I wonder why I agreed to dating you..”
jungwon ˚⋆ ✦
freezes for a moment
and then he’s like
why are you like this
is deeply confused for a second
“jungwon, why are you in the kitchen?” you pace up to where he was leaving the pantry.
“uh.. snacks?” he quirked an eyebrow.
“you need to hide, my boyfriend is literally here.” it took jungwon a moment to realize what you said. his brows furrowed in confusion as he tilted his head at you.
“babe, what are you talking about?”
ni-ki ˚⋆ ✦
is annoyed
cause what are you even talking abt
he’s definitely gonna get you back
definitely doesn’t fall for it
your camera was on, capturing the moment you pushed ni-ki off the side of his bed.
“y/n, what the heck are you doing?!”
“ki, you have to hide, my boyfriends here!” you pointed the camera in his face, showing his pained expression.
“yeah, and he’s right here!” he groaned, pushing the phone away from him.
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author’s note: apologies for this being so short esp the last 3, im not feeling well :)
taglist: @haechansbbg (message or comment to be added)
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peterparkersnose · 2 years ago
Text
Lovers and Love.
pairing: Joel Miller x reader
word count: 2.4k
warnings: pregnancy (if you don't like don't read), descriptions of morning sickness, anxiety, angst, illusions to sex
a/n back to your regularly scheduled program i dont wanna hear it i don’t write pregnancy stories often (i say this with a modern day au pregnancy joel fic in my drafts). literally my third in a year (back during my wattpad days I would solely write pregnancy stories. ew). i really like how this turned out though, the length is good
summary Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out
masterlist
join the tag list
read time: 8 mins 47 seconds
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“What’s filling that pretty head of yours lately?” Joel asked between each chop of the wood.
“Oh, nothing.” you lied.
“You looked mighty focused on that rock just a minute ago.”
“Better than looking at you chopping wood,” you scoffed sarcastically, getting Joel’s scent off your trail.
What you were really thinking about? The last time you got your period.
Each swing of the axe made you cringe. You begged to think of something different, but the thought had filled your mind for the past few days when your expected period didn’t arrive.
You and Ellie had swept out an old convenience store about a month ago. Ellie found some period products and gave some to you and it made you think.
When was the last time you got your period?
Ever since you were a child you dreamed of being a mother. Raising a family with someone you loved. But when the world fell to cordyceps, that idea was quickly left in the past with every other hope and dream you ever had.
This was no environment for an adult, let alone a child. A baby was an absolute no. The constant crying would attract any creature in a mile radius. It wouldn’t get the proper nutrition babies needed to grow. And giving birth in this world was a borderline death sentence.
And your baby’s daddy? The man you had been hooking up with on the low.
He was meant to move the cargo. You assisted the cargo and made sure it behaved.
It wasn’t your fault when Ellie was captured by David and you and Joel had to hide out in a shed one night alone.
Or maybe that time Ellie went out hunting.
Or the time Joel had to cover your mouth and tell you to shut up because she was asleep in the next room.
You knew Ellie wasn’t a dumb kid, but you were just praying she wasn’t that smart.
But pregnancy tests were nonexistent. Most of them you assumed would be expired. Can pregnancy tests even expire? And condoms, come on. It would honestly be funny if Joel pulled one out as a joke. There was no way any of those were still in use at least five years after the breakout.
“Y/N!” Joel yelled, catching your attention. The volume of his voice caught you off guard. “What’s wrong with you, seriously?” he scoffed, flipping his axe in his hand.
Brushing him off, you helped him carry wood into the small abandoned cabin you had found for the night.
Ellie was sitting on the matted couch with her leg resting on top of the coffee table in what was left of the living room. If you squinted, it looked almost normal. No clickers, no cannibals, just a normal world, a normal Ellie sitting in a normal house.
You needed to quickly get the idea of a normal world out of your head. It wasn’t here anymore. You couldn’t hope and dream like you used to. It wasn’t the time for fantasy land anymore. This was serious shit.
“Thank god, I am fucking freezing!” Ellie announced, rubbing her hands together.
Joel dropped his few planks of wood on the ground. “I’m gonna go look for some blankets and supplies upstairs. Ellie, help Y/N with the fire.”
Ellie groaned and slammed her feet on the floor one by one from the coffee table dramatically. You could already imagine the eye roll she had just given him.
You began arranging the logs into a nice stack. Joel had cut enough to easily last you through the night and maybe into the morning.
“You doin’ okay?” Ellie asked, searching through her backpack for the matches. “Mhm,” you lied, watching her scratch the match and throw it in the dry fireplace.
“Joel said something about-” “It doesn’t matter what Joel said.” you cut her off. Ellie rested back on her legs. She was very obviously disappointed you wouldn’t tell her what was wrong.
Was it really that obvious?
“What did I say now?” Joel asked from the banister. He was carrying blankets in his hands he found in the bedrooms. He had a big smile plastered on his face that only widened when your eyes met his.
Just imagine how he would be. Carrying down blankets for you and your child to make a fort together. Making popcorn and watching a movie as the sky became dark. The child would fall asleep in your arms and the two of you would stare at each other and appreciate the world, the life you made together.
You broke eye contact with him and shook your head.
How could you let yourself think like that?
“That I was the best clicker killer in the group.” Ellie made up, lightening the mood. “Oh really now?” Joel chuckled, throwing all of the sheets down on Ellie.
“Oh thank god, warmth.” she sighed, wrapping herself in as many blankets as she could hold.
You snatched a blanket from Ellie with a smirk and moved in front of the fire. You saw the sun setting from one of the still intact windows. Joel made the bold move of laying directly next to you. Normally you would have been so touched by this little bit of public affection (even though the definition of public, for now, was just Ellie), but you were so exhausted by your mind games from the day that you couldn’t care less.
Ellie curled up next to you. She moved into your chest, wrapping her arms around one of yours. Poor Joel, Ellie got all your affection tonight after all.
After a few minutes, she was asleep.
“You wanna meet upstairs in a bit? Tell her your takin’ a piss or something.” Joel whispered in your ear. His wide hand touched your back, making you tense. He was craving your touch you could tell. It had been a few weeks since your last hookup. “No. Not tonight,” you whispered back, pulling Ellie closer.
“Hey,” he said in a low tone. You turned your head to look at him. “What’s really goin’ on?”
“Nothing,” you lied. “I know when your lying.” he sighed. “Joel, drop it.” you hissed.
Ellie’s head looked up at yours. You felt the movement and immediately reacted.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. Go back to sleep now,” you said sweetly to her, brushing her hair to the side of her face. You could tell Joel noticed how you called her baby girl. That’s what he called her.
“What’s happening?” she asked groggily. “Nothing important. Now back to sleep. We need our energy for tomorrow.” You gave her a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.
Ellie nodded and resumed back to her sleeping spot in your arms.
Joel now sat against the couch, watching the two of you interact.
After a moment of silence to make sure Ellie was asleep again, he spoke.
“You would make a great mother one day.”
Your head whipped around and the look on your face said it all.
“With Ellie ‘n stuff. Sorry,” Joel muttered, rubbing his hands down the front of his jeans nervously. The man never usually let his guard down and say vulnerable things like that and you could tell he was disappointed by your reaction.
“Good night Joel,” you said sincerely. He was right. Ellie was like a little sister to you.
On the brink of sleep, you heard him throw another log on the fire. Blankets shuffled and there was a defining silence. Then the thought hit you.
There was no way he knew, right?
-
The faces matched so perfectly but yet were so different. Joel stood in a kitchen, the kitchen in the house you grew up in. You followed the scent of some sort of food and wandered into the kitchen. Your balance seemed off to you. Looking down, you were met by a large bump. No toes could be seen.
“Mama!” you heard. Your head whipped around to the kitchen table. It was the same oak as you remembered it. A baby sat in a high chair. It had curly (your color hair) and Joel’s eyes. It scared you how fast you recognized his features. Unremarkably, they were copied onto the baby's face. “Come on now, eat your breakfast,” Ellie said, encouraging the child. She appeared next to them with a spoon in her hand, making airplane noises as the child laughed.
“Ellie! Did you finish your homework?” Joel asked her. The oh-so-familiar groan escaped from her lips.
“Yes… maybe…” she began to say as the dream began to fade.
You shot upright, breathing heavily. Then the feeling arose from your stomach.
“Y/N?” Joel asked, shielding his face from the sun rays displaying over his eyes. He watched you run to the kitchen that was left of the living room.
The kitchen sink was the victim of your vomit.
Joel quickly stood up and went to your side. His hand returned to its spot from the previous night.
“It’s okay,” he said. You could tell he was trying to calm you, but it also sounded like he was trying to calm himself.
Tears began to roll down your cheeks as the vomiting came to an end.
“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, wiping your mouth on your sleeve. “No, no. Stop, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Joel… please,” you stuttered. You embraced him. His surprisingly warm figure held yours tightly. “It’s okay,” he said again.
“You want to try to go back to sleep?” he asked you. Hesitantly, you shook your head yes.
Thank god Ellie was a deep sleeper when she had been asleep for a while. You could just imagine her putting the puzzle pieces together and announcing it without a second thought. She is a smart girl.
Joel held you on the wood floor. The two of you didn’t care if Ellie woke up to find your embrace. Sleep didn’t return to you, but a sense of peace did. You forgot about the world, the pregnancy, the cold, and the anger for just a moment. It was just you and Joel. The way it should be.
-
“Good morning Mom and Dad,” Ellie said, poking her foot into your shoulder.
Your eyes fluttered open from their relaxed state. “Go find some breakfast and shut it.” you hissed at her. Joel adjusted his hold on you, sighing in your ear.
“Some kid, huh?” he whispered.
“Tell me about-”
“Eugh! What the hell happened here?” Ellie yelled from the kitchen.
“I got food poisoning. Leave it,” you yelled to the kitchen, coming up with your best lie.
“Before we leave you should look upstairs. I thought I saw some clothes you might like. Warmer for the winter too,” Joel grunted, sitting up straight and stretching his arms behind his back.
Using the coffee table to help you up, you trotted across the cold floor and made your way upstairs.
The first bedroom was empty. The second had a few long sleeve tee shirts and a pair of jeans that would fit you. At least for now. You picked up a sweatshirt for Ellie and a book she might like.
The third bedroom seemed to be a children’s room. You were going to look for something smaller for Ellie, but when you opened the first drawer you were met with rows of baby clothes.
Your hands ran over the patterns on the onesies. A baby girl had lived here. Your heart ached as you tried not to think about what her fate had possibly been.
You opened another drawer and it was filled with baby shoes. The memories of swooning over the baby shoes at the store when you were younger filled your mind. The memory of little Y/N mentally picking out which shoes her baby would wear one day warmed your heart.
Opening the top drawer again, you looked through the clothes. You let yourself choose four, one for each season. Easy enough to keep hidden in your backpack. You were too busy looking at the clothes to notice Joel leaning against the doorframe.
You only noticed him when you turned to put the clothes into your backpack.
Audibly gasping, you dropped your bag on the ground along with the onesies.
“I… I-”
“Don’t,” Joel sighed. He bent down and grabbed your bag along with the baby clothes.
“You really thought I didn’t know?” he chuckled, slowly opening the zipper to your backpack.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, face burning red. It’s all you could manage to say. Your brain felt numb.
“No, Y/N. It takes two, remember?” he smiled, holding up a onesie in front of him.
“Been a while since I’ve done this,” he chuckled, beginning to fold the clothes. You stared at him astonished.
He was taking this news surprisingly well. You expected him to leave you somewhere, or even worse. The fact that he was smiling and folding clothes for a baby in this world was shocking.
“How did you know?” you asked him. He gave you the side eye and smirked. “I know your body like the back of my hand. I just have to close my eyes and…”
Joel closed his eyes and the stupidest grin grew on his face.
“Stop it!” you blushed, giving him a playful slap on the arm. “I notice things, darling,” he said, assuring you everything was right.
“How long have you known?” you asked him. You nervously dragged your finger across the dresser’s carved pattern. “Week maybe. Figured it was either that or you were hidin’ a bite. I prayed you were pregnant instead of bitten.”
“You also were avoiding me as much as you could,”
You looked at your shoes. “I really just didn’t want to think about… you. This.” you admitted.
“I’m not mad, sweetheart. Pick a few more, I have room in my bag.”
You opened the drawer again and went for your second pics.
“Your not mad?” you asked him. “I’m not thrilled. When I figured it out it wasn’t fun. But now…”
“What about now?” you asked him. Joel sighed.
“If I heard right…” he began.
“My shithead little brother has started a settlement up in Jackson.”
“Tommy?” you asked, folding a pair of baby shorts. “Get ‘sum them shoes too,” Joel muttered, pulling at the handle of the drawer.
“Jackson’s about a few day ride from here. I can't guarantee he’ll be happy to see me but it’s our best hope.” he assured you, placing his hand back on your back. This time you accepted his touch and pushed back on it.
You both agreed that would be the next step in your journey.
“Any name suggestions?” he asked you, handing you back your backpack.
“Jesus Joel, I haven’t even thought about that.” you said, swinging it on your back.
“What about Ellie Junior?” you heard her ask from the hall.
You and Joel made quick eye contact and then looked back at Ellie. Your mouth fell slightly open. The fear expressed over your face, you were basically a deer in headlights.
She walked into the bedroom with a shameful look on her face. “I wasn’t trying to listen I promise. This house seems to echo.”
The t
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mythicmanuscripts · 3 months ago
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And here I thought Aegon makes his wive sit on the throne so he can sit on her lap :D
Okay so I know this ask was just meant to be a joke but it kinda send me on a spiral and now I have too many thoughts about all the different ways the characters would a share thrown with you/hold court with you. And since this anon caused this, I’m gonna use them to share my thoughts because if I have to deal with it then so do you lads.
AEGON:
So as I mentioned in the ask that sparked all of this, I think Aegon would enjoy sitting on the stairs below the thrown and letting you sit on the thrown. He especially loves it because he can look up at you. This tends to be what he chooses when he wants you to do the heavy lifting? If he’s is not feeling up to it or if he knows there’s a matter he doesn’t quite understand enough he’ll sit on the sit on the stairs and then defer to you when he gets stuck.
Also he’s absolutely a fan of sitting on your lap. This is the one he goes for when he’s feeling perfectly fine and just wants to be close to you. He’ll especially choose this when you’ve been away for a while? He’s extremely clingy if he has to go more than a few hours without you and so when you return he will be attached to your side for the next few days.
AEMOND:
Aemond is another who will absolutely refuse to let you sit on a smaller thrown or chair next to the thrown. He sees that as extremely disrespectful to you. You are his wife!!!
(Along the same line, he gets rid of the consort title. He will not allow you to just be for show and have no actual recognised power. You are equal, and he’s not afraid to cut someone down for calling you queen consort and not just queen)
I think Aemond’s absolute favourite might be you sitting on his lap? Doesn’t matter how heavy you are, he will not allow you to try and hover or keep your weight of him, absolutely not. He’ll literally just grab you by the waist and pull you back. He loves that position so so much, with you either perched on his knee or laying across his lap. He always keeps a hand around your waist and whenever he wants your opinion on someone he’ll rest his head on your shoulder or nuzzle his cheek against yours.
Because of him getting rid of the consort title, you will sometimes hold court without him? He’s beyond happy with this, because he trusts your judgement implicitly and honestly if he has to listen to commoners and lords asks things of him for hours every day he might just burn down the entire fucking kingdom.
Anyway, so quite down you’ll end up in a situation where you’re holding court and Aemond joins halfway through?? He’ll just causally walk through the doors and across the thrown room to where you sit. He doesn’t even allow the guards to announce his arrival. He doesn’t want all that attention, his wife is the one holding court not him.
He’ll walk across the room and up the stairs to the thrown, and then instead of asking you to stand up he’ll just sit on the arm of the thrown? He rests his arm over the back of the thrown and you wrap an arm around his waist to steady him. He just sits there, doesn’t make any comment unless you ask him directly. If someone tries to address him he just goes, "Speak to my queen, I'm not here to answer today"
JACE:
So I definitely think Jace's initial plan would be to get a second thrown of some kind built. Obviously it can't be a replica of the actual iron thrown, but he'd want you to have your own space.
While plans are beginning to be formed around getting a new thrown to put next to the iron throne, Jace obviously continues to rule and he refuses to have you stand in the corner or with the ladies of the court.
He calls you over and you stand next to the thrown. You end up standing at his side, and Jace finds that he really likes you standing over him? At some point you sit on the arm of the iron thrown and Jace immediately wraps his arm around your waist to ensure you stay balanced. That ends up being the way you most often sit, and Jace loves it.
I think Jace especially loves it because of how easily he can have a whispered conversation with you? He just tilts his head up and you look down and then you're close enough to speak very very softly. In fact sometimes Jace will even put his hand up in front of your faces to that the others in the court can't even see his lips move.
POLY!DAEMON AND RHAENYRA:
(This idea is absolutely perfect for this poly ship and I really want to write more about them so I'm gonna do that here)
Things are obviously even more complicated here with there being three of you. At first you don't even consider being anywhere near the iron thrown. Daemon and Rhaenyra are married, they are the actual rulers of the kingdom. Sure you warm their bed but you don't even consider that this position could give you some power. You're happy for it to be a secret, or at the very least for it to not be advertised.
Meanwhile, neither Daemon nor Rhaenyra consider the option that you won't have some sort of special place in the thrown room. So I think it would work like this: it takes YEARS for the relationship between the three of you to form, with Daemon and Rhaenyra spending many nights talking about you and sharing frustrations over how badly they wish they could just straight up ask to court or marry you, and by the time the relationship actually forms Rhaenyra has already been crowned queen. There's a few weeks of the three of you sleeping together and hiding the relationship. Eventually the three of you admit that you all want it to always be the three of you, and you officially join the relationship.
After this happens, they announce it to everyone and while of course people are sceptic, they know better than to talk bad about you when both of your partners have dragons.
The first time Rhaenyra holds court after you make it official, you enter the thrown room with Daemon, the two of you walking behind Rhaenyra. Daemon walks up the thrown with Rhaenyra and sitting down on his chair next to the thrown. Both him and Rhaenyra immediately look around to see where you have gone. Rhaenyra spots you first, and frowns when she sees you're standing with the ladies of the court.
"What are you doing there?" she asks, confused. Before you can respond, Daemon is already up and walking to you. He takes your hand and brings you up the stairs. You try to say it's not necessary, but neither of them will hear it.
At first you end up sitting on the chair Daemon usually used and while he sat perched on the arm of Rhaenyra's thrown. This works well, until someone asks something that Rhaenyra wants your thoughts on. When daemon realises this, he jumps up and tells you to swop places with him.
Eventually three of you reach a pretty good arrangement of you and Daemon sitting on the arms of the iron thrown and Rhaenyra sitting on the actual thrown. Occasionally one of you will sit on the stairs below Rhaenyra but mostly it's both of you on the arms.
It's worth noting that Rhaenyre is absolutely DELIGHTED with this arrangement and regularly pulls one of you down by your chin for a kiss.
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fictionismyreality3 · 8 months ago
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How Price Flirts
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Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it
Notes: I am a pure and holy person (I would wear his bucket hat while we fu-)
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the cheekiness of this man is only rivalled by god 😤
he will tease you and he WON’T stop until your a blushing mess
little quips about how you’re wearing your hair differently, how your uniform looks, what you’re reading on your breaks
once he’s okay with the fact that he likes you, he doesn’t give a fuck about anything but making you his
if your younger than him, expect comments about your age
“Come ‘ere, little one.” “I’m literally an adult, John.” “You’re still little to me, sweetheart.”
he won’t admit it, but he has a massive age gap kink 🤤 and it WILL influence how he interacts with you
in his eyes, you’re the most precious thing ever
every little thing you do is just so cute and he would gladly show tell you
if you make a mistake during training, he’ll be on your ass for the rest of the day
not in an annoying way tho, he’ll just endlessly joke about how “you seem distracted, luv’”
if you’re shorter than him he’s gonna use you as an arm rest 🤭
he WILL come to stand beside you only to rest his arm on top of your head and WILL keep a totally straight face the whole time, not missing a beat if he’s talking
but he’s not just a cheeky bastard
he’s insanely protective 😭 like to the point where it’s probably unhealthy
when you and the team go out, he’s always either within 10 feet of you, or sitting with the squad and glaring at anyone who comes near you
the man will use all 6’ feet of himself to stand between you and anyone who he thinks doesn’t deserve to look at you have good intentions
he’s big and he knows it
if you’re sitting across from him and he catches your gaze straying he will spread his legs to make you stare at his cock slip up
once he’s attached to you he’s not letting go easily
when you’re around other people who aren’t in the 141, he’ll take off his bucket hat and put on you 🥺 and won’t let you take it off
you wouldn’t realize but everyone else with half a brain knows it’s his subtle way of marking his territory
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springgirlshowers · 4 months ago
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could you do joost x gn reader, but it’s literally just them cuddling in bed during a thunderstorm??
Monsoon Season
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Pairing: Joost x GN!Reader (no pronouns used)
CW: none!
WC: 726
AN: such a cutey cute lil concept!! fun fact: i wrote this as it was storming hard as hell outside lmao
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Just as you were about to send Joost a text, asking how far away he was, you heard the front door open behind.
As you sat up from your spot on the couch, you were met with Joost standing with grocery bags in his hands, absolutely drenched from the rain.
It had started storming about ten minutes ago and Joost must’ve got caught in the middle of the rain on the way back from a recording session.
“I got the stuff you said we needed for dinner.” Joost gave you an amused smile as he held up the bag.
You immediately got up and went over to him, as much as you tried not to, you giggled at a bit at his soaked state.
“Thank you.” You smiled, giving him a small kiss, “Now, I’ll put these away, you go change.” You said as you took the bags from his hands, he just nodded and kicked off his shoes, walking down the hallway into your shared bedroom to change into drier clothes.
You put the groceries into the fridge and kitchen cabinets while waiting for Joost to get finished changing.
You were already done putting everything away by the time he returned, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a green hoodie, camouflage patterns on the hood. His hair had dried a bit more, now messier.
Joost walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Better?” You asked, putting your hands on top of his.
“Mhm, much.” He let out a happy breath. It felt so peaceful in the apartment, the hard rain from outside with the warm light from the lamp in the living room made the perfect cozy atmosphere.
Until a flash of lightning and loud rumble of thunder struck outside, scaring and making both of you jump of you a tiny bit.
“The weather app said it’s gonna be like this for the next few days.” You sighed, turning around in his grasp.
“I guess we’ll be stuck inside for the next few days then.” He moved his hands from your waist to the sides of your face, you nearly shuddered when felt how cold his palms were.
“You’re really cold. You’re sure you feel better?”
“I could use some warming up.” He shrugged, a knowing smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes playfully, letting him take your hands and drag you into the bedroom.
You got into bed first, shuffling under the sheets while Joost followed, laying on top of you.
“I’m so tired. Today was so exhausting.” He mumbled against your chest. Joost enjoyed making music, but this feeling wasn’t uncommon for him after being at the studio for hours on end.
“How’s the album going?” You hummed, pulling the blankets up over the both of you.
“Its frustrating. Nothing is turning out the way I want it to.” He let out an annoyed sigh at the thought of it. “I’m honestly just thinking about scrapping most of the songs because of it.”
“Oh come on, you’ll get them how you want them eventually.” You frowned. “You always do.” You added, hoping it would bring some relief.
“You really think so?”
“I know so.” You ran your hands through his hair, he let out a pleased breath and wrapped his arms a little bit tighter around you in response.
Even though you didn’t have a good look at his face, you could feel his smile against your skin.
The sound of the rain hitting the window and soft thunder in the distance with the warmth of your body against his and you raking your hands through his hair made him feel the most relaxed he’s been in weeks.
It didn’t take long after for his eyelids to become droopy, eventually shutting his eyes in complete bliss.
“I was thinking dinner tomorrow could be pasta. But you might have to go back into the rain again to get the noodles.” You joked, there was no response from Joost.
“Joost?” You said softly, no response again.
Craning your neck a bit to get a better look at his face, you could see he was absolutely knocked out.
His eyes shut, lips slightly parted, face completely relaxed. You smiled to yourself, deciding maybe you could let him sleep for a little bit before you got up.
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minarinnn · 1 year ago
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AHHH THIS JUST INVADED MY MIND AND I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT IT
ok so imagine rin itoshi; fast learner, really good grades, top of his class, just a perfect student overall
and then there’s you; slow learner, average grades, late to class, forgets to do homework, and barely passing your classes
so what happens when rin itoshi somehow develops a crush on you?
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academic! rin who whispers the answers to you in class
it was another normal day in class. you found yourself with your head laying on the desk farthest from the front, slowly dozing off and cancelling whatever it was your teacher was talking about
“miss l/n… miss l/n!” you heard your teacher yell at you from the front of the class. you lift your head up in slight panic, noticing your teachers furrowed brows and angry pout. “what’s the answer to question number 7?” she inquired, raising her brows and crossing her arms. waiting for you to get it wrong so she can, once again, scold you for dozing off in her class
your eyes roamed the board as they found question number 7. you didn’t want your teacher to scold you again, but was there really another outcome? you didn’t know the answer and you were put on the spot with little to no time to think
“uhh” you spoke, swallowing and taking a shaky breath as your eyes roamed the classroom. “it’s D” rin whispered from next to you. you give him a quick side glance. his teal eyes were focused on his notebook but he was the smartest in the class so you had no choice but to trust him
“it- its D!” you call out. your teachers eyes widen in disbelief as she looks back to the board once more. “c-correct..?” she muttered, still in shock over you getting it correct. she continued to give her class. “thank you” you whisper to rin, his eyes shooting you a quick glance. “don’t worry about it” he muttered, a slight heat rushing to his cheeks
academic! rin who allows only you to copy his homework when you, yet again, forgot to do it
“fuckk” you groan, banging your forehead on the table. “what’s up with you?” rin questioned from his seat. you both sat in the library because you had a free period. “i forgot to do the math homework” you spoke, worry and frustration visible in your tone and face “and i won’t be able to do it in time”
rin said nothing. he simply rummaged through his backpack, looking for his math notebook and upon finding it, pulling it out. he roamed the pages, landing on a specific one and sliding it your way. your brows furrow in confusion, looking up at him for answers. he’s looking away, almost as if he was embarrassed of something. “you can copy off mine” he says, his tone soft in contrast of his normal stoic tone.
“really?!” you gasp im excitement. he nodded his head, finally landing his gaze on your smiling face. “i could literally kiss you right now” you joked, pulling your notebook out and beginning to copy his homework. he rested his cheek in his palm, looking at you with the most loving eyes. “i wish you would” he muttered into his palm.
your ears perked up, not quite catching what he said. “what was that?” “i said i wish you wouldn’t” he lied through his teeth. you rolled your eyes playfully, dismissing his mean persona with a breathy laugh
academic! rin who volunteers to be your tutor as an excuse to spend more time with you
“you seriously still stuck on that question?” rin asked, his face scrunched up in disbelief. you glare at him, letting out a huff before speaking “not everyone has a big brain like you”. he rolled his eyes, secretly liking your compliment disguised in an insult
“i seriously don’t know what i’m gonna do for the test on friday” you sigh “i can’t seem to remember anything”. a light bulb lit up in rins mind. “i can tutor you if you want” he suggested
“you’d do that?” you questioned while he just shrugged, nodding his head a little. “wont i just stress you out?” you question again, not quite sure why he’s doing this
he let out a chuckle, scoffing a bit before speaking “you’d stress me out even more with all your babbling id you fail”. you open your mouth in shock but quickly close it again, knowing that was he spoke was nothing but the truth
“fine. i guess you can tutor me” you rolled your eyes playfully. rin fought every fiber in his body to not smile. spoiler alert: he failed
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© MINARINNN 2023 - please do not plagiarize or upload my content on any social media platform.
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certainlynotasimp · 1 year ago
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okayy but miguel with a black cat! reader….she js likes pushing his buttons and flirting with with him and literally does anything and everything to get a reaction out of him…aaannd if it was anyone else who tried joking around with miguel he would claw their face off 0_0
A/N: Oooh that would be interesting~. I’m gonna just write a Headcanon for now, but I will definitely write a one shot later on. I also didn’t know if you meant in personality only or if she’s his dimensions Black Cat (the antihero/villain) so I just wrote her as a Spiderperson with a black cat personality.
Miguel with a Black Cat Reader🐈‍⬛
So I’m gonna head canon that Miguel’s own personality is more of a mixture of a black cat and protective Doberman.
When he isn’t stressed out about keeping the spider-verse together and not on the very of a aneurism, he can actually be a flirting bastard as well, so don’t expect to flirt with him and get nothing in return.
But that side of him comes out like 20% or the time since…ya know, ya boy is stressed.
So when they are in front of other people, Miguel would be annoyed with the snide remarks you would make to try and ruffle his feathers, but he wouldn’t yell at you unless it’s a particularly in appropriate time to make him riled up.
The flirting would probably fair a little better as Miguel will try to act annoyed with your lingering caresses and the way your voice seem to purr at him. But, depending on your relationship, he would react in different ways.
If you were just a colleague, he would brush you off and snap at you for being so dishonorable for a spider-person.
If you were his friend, he would roll his eyes and probably throw a snide remark about you needed to get back to work. He’ll secretly find it amusing and might throw a remark back on good days.
If you are his crush or s/o, he would act the same way in public, his eyes constantly rolling as he acts annoyed with you. But a little tinge of a blush will appear if you purr out particular nicknames or remind him of certain private moments between you too.
Sometimes he’ll surprise you on particularly good days and tease you back. He knows he’s good looking and uses it as a weapon to get you flustered.
“What’s a matter, bonito gato?” He whispers as his mischievous eyes shine down at you. Your back shivers as his large forearm rest inches above your head, his burgundy eyes shining red from the monitors next to you as he traps you in. His chest acting as a barrier from your escape as his hand cups your jaw. “Keep your eyes on me when I’m talking to you, Cariño.”
If he catches you giving this treatment to some of the other spidermen, expect one of two reactions.
1) He’s gonna give you the silent treatment for the rest of the day and finally snap at you when he feels particularly annoyed by it. It’s not that he wants to yell, but the memory of someone else touching and flirting with his little spider causes him to think he’s losing the only person he has.
After an argument, he’ll calm down and apologize. Depending on how long y’all have been together, he will open up about some of his insecurities and fears of losing you.
2) He’s gonna give you the silent treatment the rest of the day until you two can get somewhere more private. He’s gonna remind you why he’s YOUR spiderman~ 😘
If anyone else tried to flirt with him or ruffle his feathers like you do, may God help their souls because Miguel ain’t having it.
He’s fiercely loyal, so if you guys are in a relationship and this happens, he’s gonna get mad and snap at them for being a disrespectful friend to you (because let’s be real, 90% of the Spider Society are friends because majority of them are Peter Parker Variants) and will probably threaten them with either losing their spot in the society. Or if they being particularly pushy, he’ll let his talons do the threatening.
He can also just open a portal and send them out of there is he finds them annoying.
He only really lets Jessica and Peter B mess with him because it’s more like they are messing with him about his reactions to you. Peter B definitely caught Miguel’s blushing face in a couple of pics of Mayday with you over his shoulder whispering in his ear.
I believe the nickname you would have would be either “Kitty” or “Bonito Gato” because your skill set maybe more reminiscent of Black Cat (the villain) and because Miguel says you are just as annoying as a cat. He still loves you though.💕
A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I always love when you guys message me and please feel free to send more! 🤍💕
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husbandhoshi · 10 months ago
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TO GROW LOVE (AND EAT IT TO THE CORE)
pairing: mingyu x gn!reader wc: 8.1k summary: your whole life, you've only wanted one thing. then you meet mingyu. suddenly you want too much, and you wish the summer never ended. notes: farmer!au, established relationship, angst/hurt/a little comfort
this is a birthday fic for my one and only cat @wuahae ! yes this is about half a year late but what can i say. all good things come with time. thank you for being so kind, funny, and thoughtful (and patient)! not a day goes by where i’m not thankful for our friendship :)
and a million thanks to hana @wqnwoos and jackie @97-liners for helping me with edits. literally you guys are insane writers and i will never stop looking up to you.
i. strawberries (the summer we were young)
When a strawberry is ripe, the seeds push out from the heart of the fruit, as if it's bursting from the inside out.
This is one of the few and only things you've learned by living in Seogwipo, where strawberry season comes like a supernova. The May sun, full and heavy, peels into summer, and the roadside farms open their doors, trying to catch stray vacationers from Jeju City on the other side of the island.
That being said, there are approximately two things to do here. One of them is farm. The other is pretend like you have a life, which is your childhood friend Yizhuo's favorite thing to do when she's back from university on summer break.
Today, this involved convincing her ritzy, too-good Seoul friends that they're missing out on this side of Jeju. (Missing out on what? You're not sure. Perhaps the chipped paint of the mural walls, or the endless flat-topped stretches of seagrass. Yizhuo isn't fooling anyone, but you've always liked stretching your legs out in the bed of her pick-up, even on the long drive to nowhere.)
Unsurprisingly, her friends quickly came to the same conclusion. Just one look at your local strawberry patch, with none of the glamour of the bloated tourist traps in the city, and they decided they'd rather spend the afternoon at the beach.
It was then, between the fragaria blooms, when you met Mingyu. He asked for your name, and the rest was history. Yizhuo and co. scattered like the grasping hands of an overripe dandelion and you learned that he was, one, the newly-graduated son of a pair of local farmers, and two, very, very attractive. Almost too much so, especially for a place like this.
Now he holds up a berry, a bright red murder between his fingers, and tells you to try it.
"You must be delusional if you think i'm taking food from a stranger," you laugh, perched on the fence bordering the field. It sprawls before you, melon stripes on the sunbaked ground.
"No, my name is Mingyu," he replies. "No idea who delusional is." His smile, all bright lip and snaggletooth, tears into the scarlet belly of a newly picked strawberry.
"We all know what happened to Persephone."
"Well, if the underworld was a strawberry patch, I wouldn't mind being stuck there for all of eternity."
"What're you picking all these for, anyway?" you ask, watching Mingyu struggle with his too-big straw hat between the vines. His woven basket bleeds over with little berries.
"Jam. I make it on the very first day of every summer."
"Why?"
"You ask a lot of questions for someone who trespassed on my farm. You're cute, but I won't let you off easy."
He laughs at how you balk, clearly red-handed. You're not sure how to tell him you don't think you were supposed to be here either. You don't do things like sit in the back of trucks, trespass, or talk to pretty farmer boys who take a fancy to you, but it's the summer before you graduate and you're not even sure how long you'll have to continue making bad decisions.
"Are you gonna take my first-born now?" you joke instead. The daylight runs down the rim of Mingyu's hat, trickles down his brow, and you wish you could pour the image of him into a jar and keep it forever.
"No, but I will invite you in for some fresh jam on toast. I baked a loaf this morning." and when you say nothing, he continues. "The strawberries are only good once a year. It's the best you'll ever have. Promise."
It's a whine and a half, and somehow you convince yourself this will be the last bad decision you'll make. You've been here long enough to know that good things don't come twice in Seogwipo, and he is unlikely to be an exception.
Yizhuo blows up your phone, you tie the gingham apron around Mingyu's tiny waist, and the basket turns to blood in the saucepan.
Mingyu is right. Love comes to you in that kitchen, high and red like the sun, and the jam never tastes as good as it does that summer.
ii. watermelon (hollowed out, like a magic trick)
"A good watermelon sounds like a heartbeat."
You watch Mingyu heave the fruit, small and striped, out of his grocery bag. It joins the array of egg sandwiches and banana milks you picked up from the store together earlier. (There should have been chocolate Pepero too, but you split the box on the walk).
You're on a picnic, sprawled out on the outcropping overlooking the water. The path up is basically right behind your house, but you had never cared to visit. It had always been the local makeout spot, a schlocky teen crawl for those with nothing better to do, and yet, with Mingyu stretched out beside you, it seems newer. More exciting.
You're still just friends, or at least that's what you told Yizhuo. But ever since you sat on Mingyu's kitchen counter and ate from his jam-covered spatula, you don't think you've gone a week without seeing him. It's been almost two months, which seems so long and yet not long enough—he makes it easy to be greedy.
"See?" He thumps the watermelon with the heel of his palm. "Try it."
You already went through this entire charade at the grocery store, right in front of all the local aunties, but you indulge him. There's little point to triple checking if it's still ripe, but you think he just likes hitting it.
"It sounds good," you say. "But how are we even gonna eat it? We don't have a knife."
"Watch this." Mingyu procures a coin from his pocket. "You didn't learn this in elementary school? I feel like everyone was doing it."
"Here?" you ask, incredulous.
"Yeah, here. I grew up here too, you know."
He holds the edge of the coin to the skin and slams his palm into it once more, so that it lodges itself into the rind, and begins dragging it around the fruit. You start to wonder if he bought the watermelon just to show you a party trick—not that you mind, though. The strain of his biceps peeks through his rolled up white tee, and you remember why he was able to stop you with just one look back when you first met.
"No way." The watermelon is so ripe, it bleeds around the incision. "I feel like I know everyone here. And I definitely would have remembered you."
"I was probably, like, two grades above you," he replies. "And my parents shipped me off to live with my cousins after elementary school. They said I should get out of Seogwipo and experience the real world."
"Good call. There's nothing here." You watch Mingyu spin the melon over to cut through the other side. The coin catches the sunlight, and it looks like gold. "I wish I left for university. The one here is so small."
"Really?" He pauses to show you his handiwork. The two melon halves roll over on their backs, their cut edge cruel and jagged. "Cool, huh?"
"Impressive," you say. "Honestly. I really didn't think that would work."
"I didn't either when I first saw someone do it. But I’ll try anything once," he replies, ripping open the packaging of the plastic spoon from the bag. "I can't believe you don't like it here."
"You do?"
"Yeah. A lot." He shoves the spoon in his mouth, and you watch the watermelon juice pool around his lips. "I missed home. The trees and the tall grass and the ocean. All the fruits. Everything. I learned to ride a bike, right down there by the water."
"Hm." He passes you the spoon. You don't want to hog it, so you carve out a piece bigger than you need. "Are you gonna work at the farm?"
"Maybe. Haven't decided yet," he says. "I think I want to be here, though. Maybe do something with food, but I want to be home."
"That's funny, because I think I’ve always wanted to live a different life. Or at least one somewhere else."
"You want to go to law school, right?"
"Yeah." Mingyu is right. The watermelon is all sugar, and you would almost feel guilty for eating it if it wasn't technically good for you. "I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. It's something about the people watching, I think."
"That’s really cool," Mingyu says, mouth full but no less sincere. It's then that you notice your shoulders are almost touching, and your heart crawls back up to your mouth. "You know what you want. I admire that."
He makes it sound like a compliment, but you're sure it's a curse.
You think of your parents. There's a permanent wrinkle ironed into their foreheads, the paper crease of expectations and high standards. It's not that they didn't care, but their kind of care was a humbled sort, made heavy by a hard life. It didn't help that your big sister Seohyun went straight from Yonsei to work a big tech job in San Francisco and never once looked back.
But you can't blame any of them—wanting has always been a hereditary failing. Sometimes Yizhuo will catch you frowning at nothing, and then you remember that life isn't a performance and every day ends at the same time no matter how hard you work. But you don't know how to tell her that the only thing you can do sometimes is want, because otherwise you wouldn't really have much at all.
It seems like the exact opposite of how Mingyu lives—everything about him seems to pass like the seasons. Maybe that's why you can't seem to get enough of each other.
"Thank you. Really." You dig the spoon into your half of the melon. There isn't much left. "You're way too nice to me."
"It’s not hard to be," he laughs. "Maybe you're just too hard on yourself."
You're losing track of the distance between the two of you. You can almost feel the heat playing off his skin.
"Maybe."
It's then, under the veil of summer, where you meet Mingyu's gaze and, finally, things seem close to simple.
All you know are his eyes, heavy with sun, and then the slow, slow move of his lips against yours. He tastes like August, long and sweet, and for once you know what it's like to not only want, but to have, and to have again.
The ocean sings on the horizon, and the watermelon bellies weep.
iii. adzuki beans (or, the blood of a headless taiyaki)
Mingyu eats taiyaki headfirst because he says it hurts less.
"That makes no sense," you tell him, your pinkies linked. You never really liked holding hands, but yours fits so perfectly in Mingyu's and there's some girlish, childlike shine to it when you watch his finger search for yours after just a moment separated.
"What do you mean."
He breaks your gaze to eye a red bean taiyaki, like an unwilling predator sizing up their prey. It's the lamest, most embarrassing iteration of National Geographic you've ever seen, and yet you cannot find any fiber within yourself not deeply in love with the lion.
Fall is a forgiving place for your relationship to settle. You're now a senior at university and he's started his gap year. Gap implies he's in the middle of something, but in true Mingyu fashion, he leaves it up to fate, or chance, or something not nearly as kind (whim).
"Taiyaki isn't alive. And why would you want to pretend it is? Eating gummy bears would become an extinction event."
"It kind of is." He holds out the tail end of the taiyaki, the pastry almost explicitly flayed open, in front of you to eat. "Why does the Haribo bear have a face? Why do the gummy bears live in a gummy forest?"
"Great, so now I can’t even enjoy gummy bears without feeling like a serial killer?"
You dig your pointer into his shoulders, broad from all the time he spends on the farm. To think that his hands, big and weathered, were made to pick berries (and now wrap around your pinky finger) is bruising, if not ridiculously funny.
"It's a crime of passion. Gummy passion. Prosecute that."
He kisses your cheek and your heart almost squeezes into two.
The terrible thing about being with Mingyu is how seemingly endless his affection is. Now he's feeding you in public and buying the two of you matching socks (cat and dog, to be exact), although you'll admit it's a little charming, even if the neighbors do gossip.
He's sweet, too sweet, and his kisses stick to the back of your throat.
But you can't be fooled. There's an unsaid violence to the way Mingyu loves. (The meticulous spiral of the peel he carves when you ask for him to cut you an apple. The grind, decisive and cruel, of a knife against a cutting board. A pair of canines against your neck, your jaw.)
Even now, he bites the head off another unwitting taiyaki before stuffing it back in the bag.
"We're still splitsing, right?" he says, with perhaps 1% of his mouth available for speaking and the other 99% murder machine.
Splits, he always says before you share food. You never had the heart to tell him that it's in the same family as mines or sharesies or takebacks—silly childhood relics, ones that no one uses anymore because they don't mean anything.
This time, you don't hear him because you're thinking about the law school fair you went to before Mingyu picked you up. The future is so close, it scares you. A year from now, what ground would you be standing on? Would it smell like this—the peat, the thread-spool fields, the balm of the ocean? Would you still have Mingyu's finger wrapped round yours?
"Have you decided if you're staying at the farm?" you ask.
"Not really." He uses the back of his hand to wipe off his chin. "If my sister decides to take over, I’m actually kinda thinking of going to pastry school instead of getting a masters."
Mingyu had been toying with the idea for some time after you had talked about it on the outlook. It started off as a joke (September; a galette), then a what if (October; green tea mochi), and now it sits at a kinda.
"Kinda?"
The word gathers speed in the pachinko machine of your mind. You never liked being a kinda person. For Mingyu, it seems like a luxury of a word, but for you, it's really just another thing to hide behind. Kinda talented, kinda ambitious, kinda just there. You're always one foot in, one foot out of something better.
"Yeah, kinda. Why?"
"I dunno. What if we both end up leaving?"
"Maybe. You still want to, right?"
You would be lying if you said you didn't—it's what you always wanted. Seogwipo has been a sun-rot, too-small crutch for you, but you would also be lying if you said you weren't terrified that you'd eventually come back, limping like some doomed Icarus, unable to truly make it in the real world.
Then you think of the pockmarked farmland beside your home, lacy with the fall harvest. Even now, you can trace the endless blue of the coastline all the way there, cut through all the maybes and just let the sound of the ocean fold you into sleep like you were a child again. You wonder if Seohyun, all the way on the other side of the world, ever misses it.
"I’m not sure," you say, because, as much as you don't like it, it's the only answer you have.
"It's ok. You'll figure it out. You always do." He squeezes your cheeks together between his thumb and index, laughing at how they pillow out underneath his fingers. "Screw pastry school. I could come with you. Who else would keep you fed?"
Mingyu's complete and unfounded belief in you makes you feel something close to betrayal. How could he say any of that? With what proof? Only someone like Mingyu would be able to hold the wrinkled fruit of your unremarkable life between his palms and see something better than that. Maybe it's because he grew up on a farm. Either that, or he already cares for you too much, too painfully.
Secrets are easy to keep when they look like yours. At least here, in the pit of your stomach, you can keep count, take attendance of them, all your tittering, small anxieties. Some days it feels like your ribs are pressing out, but it's better than cutting everything loose to spill out over what little you do have control over.
You can handle a little pressure. You have to.
What concerns you is the hand Mingyu's got across your chest. With one look, he just might gut you. A twist of the heart-knife, and all those carefully wound insides carved out in an instant—maybe he'd pity you, but worse than that, he'd likely be disappointed.
For you, expectation has always stood taller than shame, and the idea that he sees something past you makes you want to run away.
"I could be a house husband," he says as easily as ever. "You'll be off saving the world, arguing with whoever, and I'll be there to run you a bath afterwards."
"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves," you reply, binding up the strange, hollow feeling in your stomach with a laugh.
There's a scared little girl hiding inside you, and whether Mingyu sees her or not hurts the same. A spade is a spade. You can only pretend so long.
You look at the taiyaki floating in their wax paper bag, blinded and wrought open by the same grin that now peels you down, and you're not hungry anymore.
iv. winter pears (rotten, outside your parents' house)
Mingyu's family loves Christmas.
You think it's because of the pear trees they have in the front yard. They stand bravely before the house, all emerald ash and wisdom in the December freeze. Run your palms over the knobs and it's like you can see into a sleepy visage of simpler days past. (Below its heart, carved: 1982, the year the farm was bought. Along the tangle of the roots: gyu waz here, in an unsure, childish scrawl.)  
Winter comes to the countryside crawling on its hands and knees. On days it doesn't snow, there's a mist, boggy and clingy. You've come to realize the cold is more of a threat than a promise, and so the pear trees still bear fruit; the silvery branches hang heavy, faithful.
The first day of December, Mingyu's parents had tasked the two of you with decorating the farmhouse, a duty you took very seriously. You wrapped Mingyu up in string lights and watched him blink in and out like your own personal firefly.
It wasn't until you watched the rafters, the barn doors, the joyous vault of the ceiling all glow, like a spectacular firework, that you finally started to understand why Mingyu was so into the holidays.
It was in the yellow blush of the string lights that you had your first pear from the tree, which Mingyu insisted was a holiday tradition. We make poached pears, he said, mid-bite. You simmer the pear in syrup until it gets so soft, you can cut into it with a fork. Just like butter.
That same night, he kissed you, mouth hot and trembling and tasting of honey, and pressed you against the bark so hard, you could feel the grit of its veins against your skin.
You think December became your favorite month, and pears your favorite fruit.
So much so, that for the entire month, you try to put away your worries about law school applications to celebrate with Mingyu and his family.
You learn his mom makes the best hot chocolate (a cinnamon stick and a dogged devotion to the whisk), and that Mingyu has no clue on God's green earth how to ice skate. (He careens right into your chest the first time. You spend the next hour with him attached to you like a backpack—he manages to find the most impractical ways to do anything, which you somehow admire the most). On Sundays, Yizhuo ditches her Seoul friends and instead accompanies you to the mall two towns over, where she watches you compare different ties and watches and collagen creams as you decide on gifts for his family. (Lilac is so last year, she'd say, stirring the straw of a watered-down milk tea.)
It's not until the weekend before Christmas when you realize just how serious things have gotten. Your feet understand the meander of the dirt path to the farmhouse, your bones the scent of the yellow-skinned apple, the faded wildflowers. Your palms crave the plush of the rug they have in front of the fireplace. Hell, you can't even eat soondubu without thinking of the kind Mingyu's dad makes, with extra anchovies and green onion.
You don't think about what this means. There are ten days left in December and love poured from a full cup never seems to run out.
"Please let me carry some of those," Mingyu wheedles. "Oh my god. I'm like the worst boyfriend in the world."
"No, you are not." you make your way up to his doorstep, taking care to one-two step over the stray roots of one of the pear trees. It's second nature to you by now. "The moment I hand you a box, you are gonna start trying to figure out what it is."
He harumphs and plucks the big one off the top anyway, the one he knows you can't reach. "I didn't even know you were getting us gifts. You didn't have to."
"It's the least I could do. Who shows up to a holiday dinner emptyhanded?" You stop at the front door. "And stop shaking it," you laugh, using the tip of your boot to nudge his shin.
"Okay. Okay," he says, saccharine, adoring, before grabbing the doorknob. "Ready? Are you nervous? You shouldn't be nervous, right? It's not fancy or anything, if you were worried about that."
And that's the thing that wedges itself between your ribs. Mingyu and his whole family are like this. They love and worry and love again; it presses deep into you, fills you, and overflows.
So here you are, standing in your nicest dress and balancing a stack of gifts you hope will amount to something, never enough but something, to repay the people who you feel have loved you more than you deserve. It's all you really have. You do your best, and yet you know when that door opens, it'll all be washed away in a high-tide flurry of hugs and laughter and the familiar press of Bobpul's wet nose against your leg. They're just those kinds of people—they would be just as happy if you didn't bring anything at all, and somehow that makes you feel even more guilty.
"No, no," you wave him off. "I’m fine. Excited."
When Mingyu opens the door, everything goes just as you expected. His sister takes your coat, your gifts are whisked away to the tree (Aji has already figured out which one is his), and his parents descend upon you in a choking swell of warmth and charity.
We baked some fresh bread for your parents (—Thank you so much, but you really shouldn't have.). You look so beautiful in that color (—No, no, you flatter me too much.). Mingyu better be taking good care of you (—He is. He really, really is.).
The kitchen is gauzy with cinnamon, anise. They must be making their famous poached pears, which Mingyu remarks on, just like clockwork.
Dinner passes the same way. It bubbles over with affection, and you feel swallowed by an impossible yearning. This—a full table and a hand to hold underneath it—did you deserve this? And could you keep it?
For an instant, you picture yourself, years later, at this same seat. Mingyu would be fussing over the rice cakes, his apron still gingham because it reminds him of the day you two met. His parents, grayer but no less happy, bickering over the shade of tinsel on the tree. And the dogs, coiled at your feet like they are now. The vision laps at your bones like you're a raft in a storm.
You're pulled back into the moment when Mingyu squeezes your hand, grounding and insistent. "Mom asked how school was going. I told her I think you're basically the smartest person I know, and I’m pretty sure you're getting into whatever law school you want."
Mingyu's parents laugh, and they cut through their pears.
"Oh, sorry," you say. "Um."
Clink. Knife meets flesh, meets porcelain. Your cheeks are hot. You wanted to talk about anything other than yourself tonight. Clink.
"The top programs are a reach, but it'd be nice." clink. "I just want to get in somewhere."
"They’re all so far away," Mingyu's mom remarks. "So grown up. Any school will be lucky to have you. You'll get into all of them."
Clink.
"Or maybe you can stay here." You watch the prongs of Mingyu's father's fork disappear into the pear. "Keep us old folk company."
"No, no, I think Mingyu should take notes and get off his lazy ass," his sister says, teasing. "Going back to the city will be good for him."
"So you can, what, burn down the kitchen again?" Mingyu grumbles, and the whole table seems to boil over with laughter.
"We’re kidding," his mom tells you. "No matter where you go, I’m sure you'll do great. We can even throw you a party at the end of the year. For graduating."
Clink. Clink.
There's a horrible uneasiness writhing around in your stomach. It's pear and syrup and clove and a blackness, an anxious, selfish one that sucks up all the generosity of the evening and turns it into shame.
Mingyu's mom is talking about throwing you a graduation party, something you didn't even think to do for yourself, and here you are, thinking about the shaking moment you open your rejection letters and the lonely path you'll draw on your way back home.
It's ok. They missed out, Mingyu would say, pouring you a consolation drink, and then it would be over. You'd go home and sit on your bed and the trifold piece of paper would go round and round your head like it was in a washing machine.
Your heart, an inventory of tasks and goals and tally marks. Things you've taken and things you've owed. It's a soft, boneless excuse. Be grateful. Give them that, at least.
Clink.
Dessert ends before you can tell his family not to get their hopes up. Mingyu's mom sends you off with your loaf of bread and a kiss on the cheek, and the moment is gone.
"Gyu," you call out on the steps in front of the house.
There are words at the seam of your lips. You want to tell him you're sorry for worrying so much. For making the whole dinner about you and then very possibly having nothing to show for it when it matters. For the heaviness in your chest. Your cowardice. But none of it comes out.
Instead you watch Mingyu pull at the leaves of a pear tree, watching the frost-filigree they get at the end of the season. He looks over his shoulder and smiles at you, as if he's on the hazy cover of a magazine. His eyes bend so wonderfully at the corners when he looks at you, and it breaks your heart.
"You had fun, right?" he asks. "My parents like you a lot, you know. I think they really do."
But that's the problem, you want to say. You all do, and I have no idea why.
Some of the pears are beginning to rot now. You watch one drop off the vine, and it caves to the pavement like it was made of nothing at all.
v. wild barley (grows like weeds)
In March, you play house.
Your parents leave on a two week trip to see relatives, and Mingyu takes it upon himself to make sure you survive.
It's a kind, blinding charade.
(7 am, breakfast. You usually don't even eat breakfast, but you wake up to doenjang and a smile, one that presses itself to yours until you're wearing it on the long walk to school.)
(4 pm, the stretch between lunch and dinner. You're muddling through another useless club meeting when Mingyu sends you a picture of him in your mom's apron, making kimchi. Kiss the chef, he texts you. You promise to, over and over and over.)
It's good until it isn't.
That isn't to say that it's Mingyu's fault. In fact, it's never really Mingyu's fault, and that's the worst thing about your relationship. Sometimes you wish he was worse just so there was someone else to blame.
(1 am, a fridge-cold glass of water and a hand on the column of your spine. Can't sleep? He asks. Just had a weird dream, you say.
It's a lie. You're a liar.
You miss your parents and the first wave of acceptance letters comes out in two days. You're not like him. Sleep has never been a cure for the exhaustion you're feeling, and you have no way of telling him that however warm the bed is won't fix that.)
It's on a Thursday afternoon when you open your mailbox and see the tiny, thin envelope that you've been expecting for the past week. You don't need to open it to know what it says, and yet you do it anyway.
The sun is white, a ghost in the spring sky. The ocean bleeds into the overcast, the curly barley stands tall around your feet, and you let the worst letter you've gotten in your life fall upon your shoulders, word by terrible word.
Then you close it, pinching the seam shut, and draw up your brave face. Nothing left to do but be brave. You're convinced you've used up all the sadness in your relationship—spend in pennies and the well still runs dry. Mingyu will cup your cheek and call you darling, pouring into your emptying basin, holey and broken.
You see him now through the kitchen window, Venus in his clamshell of a kitchen. Galbijjim day, he had said this morning. Now, he waves at you, glittery with recognition.
Your throat feels like crumpled paper.
Mingyu smiles at you, hazy through the glass. Your cheeks hurt and your mouth is paper mache, but you smile back anyway.
///
The letters come one after another.
You know what the envelopes hold and yet you keep opening them. The little folder you keep stashed in your bottom drawer gets fatter every passing day because you can't help but revisit your misery, almost as if you need to remind yourself it exists.
Mingyu is none the wiser. Today he decides he'll put off pastry school for one more year. "It doesn't feel like the right time," he says, rolling a log of burdock kimbap up. "You know what I mean?"
No, you don't. You never really do.
You do know, however, that it would feel really fucking bad that, come the end of the year, to have nothing. All your friends would be going somewhere—even Yizhuo opened her acceptance to an MFA program in Shanghai yesterday—and you would be here, still, feet firmly planted in the muddy Jeju dirt like they always had been.
"Hey, don't look so disappointed." he jokes. "Don't tell me you're already trying to get rid of me."
You're not, you really aren't. But part of you wonders if it's just a race to the bottom. If you got rid of him before he decided he wanted to get rid of you, maybe it would hurt a lot less. One less letter for the folder.
"Never. But imagine if you picked up a French accent at pastry school. Then I’d consider it. Maybe."
You watch his knife rock back and forth on the cutting board as he cuts the kimbap.
"Some for you. And more for me," he says, in what you can only describe as someone attempting to speak French when they've never heard it before. "Unless you want more, mon cherie."
He brings the plates to the table, his grin nothing short of dizzying.
"I’m irresistible, huh? Still wanna leave me now?"
"You're gonna have to try a little harder than that, I think."
The words roll off your tongue, easily, traitorously.
You watch the kimbap disappear off of Mingyu's plate.
Going, going, gone.
///
Seogwipo is always dark at night, only kept alive by the glow of the moonlit sea.
You can't sleep. Again. And so you sit out on the steps in front of your house, letting the twilight wrap around you like a blanket.
You got your last letter back earlier today. You held your breath and tore it open like you would a birthday card with money in it.
Waitlisted.
It was surely better than a rejection, but some naive, child-eyed part of you thought that if you had just closed your eyes and hoped hard enough, things would work out the way you had planned. Tragically, it wasn't enough this time. You wanted and wanted and you thought maybe that would mean you'd come close to deserving it.
Your parents called today. After managing to sideline the issue of basically the rest of your entire life, they had finally cut through your sad little charade. No good news yet, huh?
No, but—
It was always like that with you. No, but it's not as bad as you think. No, but give me a chance. No, but I’m trying. I've been trying.
You wish things didn't come out of you so complicated. That you could be like Seohyun, who could go through school with her eyes closed and still graduate at the top of her class. Instead, you parade around your little failures, trying to convince people it all could mean something only if they squinted. See? It isn't so bad.
You think you're past the point of crying about it. Your stomach hurts, you're cold, and most of all, you just want to go back to bed. Plus, although Mingyu sleeps like a log, you think he's developed a sixth sense for whenever you get up too early.
Time to be brave, you've been telling yourself, although you don't know who you're pretending for anymore.
So you nudge the front door open—it's so old, it wails if you come at it with any more force—and, to your surprise, see the light above the kitchen sink turned on.
It's not very bright, but it's enough to make out Mingyu's broad silhouette, back turned to you as he makes a cup of tea. He's humming one of his made-up songs.
"Mingyu?"
"There you are," he says, turning around. "Just came out to check on you. And make you some tea."
The kettle whizzes. Your gut twists.
You still haven't said anything to Mingyu. To manage your own disappointment was one thing—you don't think you could handle another person's. And yet when he stands there, Pororo mug between his huge hands, you feel as if you are holding a knife, big and guilty and bloody.
"I-I'm fine, Gyu. Honest." you watch his expression flicker, unreadable in the persimmon lamplight. "Sorry you had to come out. It's chilly out here."
"You know, you can tell me what's going on. I won't judge."
No, no, no. This is the last conversation you wanted to have, with the last person you wanted to have it with.
You feel feverish. You think your hands are shaking.
"Mingyu, I swear—"
"Whatever it is, we can fix it. I know we can."
That almost makes you want to laugh if you didn't want to cry so bad. Of fucking course he would say that. Mingyu, who treats life like it's the watermelon trick he showed you on the outlook, wants to put a bandaid on this whole thing, as if that could come close to fixing it.
He'd tell you to curl up on the couch with a bad movie while he orders takeout. Kiss you on the top of the head. It's ok, baby. Just another bad day for the person who has the worst luck in the world. Another lump of problems for him to try and make better. If he isn't sick of you now, he sure would be soon enough.
"It’s okay," you say, steeling your voice. "It really isn't a big deal. Let's just go back to sleep."
You try to walk away, but the hardness in Mingyu's eyes roots you down to the tile.
"Stop doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Pushing me away," he swallows. "Like you always do. I know something's going on."
"I’m not, i just—"
"You just what? You can't help it?"
"No, I—"
"Because you like to know that you can? That you can say whatever and then watch me come back?" A fragmented, heavy silence thrums between you. He's looking at you like he's daring you to say something, anything. His gaze is black. "What am I good for if you can't tell me anything?"
There's that familiar, stinging pressure behind your eyes. You think you're crying, but you're not sure. Maybe you've been crying this whole time.
"Fine," you bite. Your blood feels like hot metal. "You really wanna know? I didn't get into law school. There. Happy now?"
Mingyu looks stung.
"W-why didn't you tell me?"
Because I thought you would stop loving me. I thought you would have finally had enough.
"Because it's not all about you, Mingyu."
The words, selfish and damning, burn your tongue. Mingyu is right. This is what you always do. You fuck up and then make everyone else hurt for it.
"I'm sorry," Mingyu says. His voice doesn't sound like his. Instead, the words seem to hang in the air, trembling and holding their breath, waiting for an apology you can't give yet. "I shouldn't have—"
"It's ok." You swallow hard, and it hurts. "Let's just go back to bed."
It's getting colder and colder. You think there's a little hole in your sock, right above the cat's whiskers.
Mingyu doesn't reach for you as he passes to get to the hallway. Maybe he doesn't know how to anymore.
The Pororo cup is left abandoned on the counter. You walk over and read the label on the tea bag—barley, because you have class tomorrow morning.
You pick it up, let the ceramic buzz between your hands with whatever warmth it has left, and hold it to your lips.
It's cold now, but all you can think to do is drink it. Erase all the evidence that tonight ever happened, and maybe it'll be nothing more than a bad dream in the morning.
There's honey at the bottom of the cup. It sears the back of your throat, but you drink until there's nothing left.
vi. the peach blossoms (without fail, bloom every August. I miss you.)
You broke up the next day.
Even now, you remember what happened. You had woken up early that morning to make your own breakfast because you couldn't allow Mingyu to give you any more of himself. Your hands could only hold, shatter, so much.
"Mingyu, I think we should...." You looked at the zigzags of jam on your toast, angry and uneven. "I think we should stop seeing each other. For now," you had added, as if that made anything better at all.
Somehow that seemed more merciful at the time. Really, you think it just showed your cowardice. If you were going to break his heart, you might as well have gone all the way the first time.
Maybe it was a good thing that Mingyu saw right through you. He always did.
"So that's it, huh? You're just gonna give up on us?"
"No, I just...need some time."
"How long?" he asked. "Be honest with me. Because you know I’ll wait."
"I don't know." You couldn't meet his gaze. His eyes reached and reached over that kitchen table and you denied him even that.
"Don't you always know?" he asked, pitifully, desperately. "Don't you want this to work?"
And you did. In fact, you don't think you had ever wanted anything more, and it was that that scared you. You had already lost law school—you couldn't let the only other thing in your life let you go. So you pulled the trigger first.
"We should just end things. I'm sorry. I can't give you what you need."
He packed his bag within the hour, and you think everything, from then on, froze inside you. You didn't move from your seat until your parents came home from the airport later that day and asked why there were two plates of toast still on the table.
You think you knew, someplace, inevitably, this would happen. You, who only knew hunger, had reached deep inside Mingyu and rooted out a love you didn't think you were worthy of having. And yet you still ate from the vine, bite after guilty bite, until you couldn't take any more. The only time he asked you for anything at all, you couldn't give it to him—such was the irony of your relationship.
Maybe you were doomed the moment the first strawberry hit your tongue, just like you had said, all that time ago.
About a month later, you got another letter in the mail. Chungnam National University Law School, it read. This one was fat, in one of those brown envelopes lined with bubble wrap. Somehow, miraculously, that position on the waitlist had turned into an acceptance. You held the package to your chest and cried, loud and with abandon, as if taking a deep breath after almost drowning.
Ironically, the first person you wanted to tell was Mingyu. But the good news you needed to save your relationship came too little, too late. Perhaps that meant it had no legs to stand on in the first place, but that didn't stop you from missing it. Instead, you told Yizhuo, and she drove you to Jeju City and treated you to dinner. "You should just call him," she had said. "Hey, don't look at me like that. He'd probably pick up on the first ring."
The city is swathed in August's crimson summer—peach season. The narrow streets are lined with peach trees, the fruits glowing like fat drops of sunlight. All you do these days is plan for your eventual move to Daejeon and the start of a life that seems newer and shinier than your own. But surrounded by the cicada song, the velvet treeline, the rain-soaked asphalt, somehow you think you're going to miss Seogwipo more than you think.
(Fickle, fickle heart. You always needed things to be taken away to really be able to appreciate them. Somehow, all that wanting had boiled down to something more satisfying, more filling.)
You wonder how Mingyu is. Now that you think about it, he seems just as much a part of Seogwipo as the farm he lives on. It was only last summer when you had first met him in the field, set on fire by the strawberry harvest. You think about him now, peddling around that ridiculous wicker basket to make jam. Maybe talking to another pretty girl, someone as naive, cruel as you had been.
Not long ago, you considered calling him to apologize, but that'd just be another thing to be selfish about. A little time and some warm weather, and I’m calling to finally wash my hands of you. That's what it would sound like, no matter what you said. Still, it didn't stop you from thinking of him, every flower, every season.
"You know, I always wanted to grow peach trees. But I think we've always been a pear kind of family."
Mingyu. If a voice could cut through air, it'd be his.
You whip around, half-believing you're hearing things. Certainly that would be easier, but you're learning that there are some things you can't run from.
And like a picture, Mingyu stands tall, golden, framed by the peach blossoms. Not a thing about him has changed. Not even the way he looks at you.
"Mingyu," you breathe. Unfortunately, none of the times you replayed your last conversation with him help you come up with something to say, because in none of them did you anticipate him coming back. "W-what are you doing here?"
"I live here, silly."
"No way," you reply, scrambling. "Crazy, because I live here too."
You both laugh nervously, a silly, bubbly thing, but you feel like you're going to throw up. It's only now that you realize you're kind of on the walk to his place. Seogwipo has never had places to hide.
"I...um." You try and disentangle the guilt from the nostalgia from the scent of the peaches and the warmth on his face. They all look the same. You missed him. "I got into law school. In Daejeon."
"I heard," he says. "Not surprised at all. I always knew you would."
"Thank you. I mean it." The cicadas buzz around you, as if they know they have an important silence to fill. "You're staying in town, right?"
"Actually, I decided to apply to culinary school. It finally felt right, you know? I'm leaving at the end of the summer, but it's just in Jeju City. I couldn't leave the island."
"Thank goodness. I don't know if you could tell, but I kind of always hoped you would. I don't think I’ve ever eaten better food." Your voice wobbles, but it gets there. "You'll do amazing."
Then time stretches and forces you to recognize, reckon with, the moment you're in. You wonder if he feels the same way you do—bruised, overripe. If there's still a space in his heart for you.
Deep breath. Life only gives you so many chances.
"Mingyu, I’m sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't make us work. You deserved better." Saying it feels like peeling the skin of your heart back. There's still a palpable distance between the two of you—you think that had always been there—but it feels more comfortable in a way it never did before.
"Don’t apologize," he says, easily, as he always does. Everything seems to flow off him like water, and you think that's the part of him you loved the most because it was the one thing you couldn't touch. "We loved each other. I think that much was true."
A jasmine breeze curls through the trees, sending the blossoms fluttering around you like ink in water. The very first time you met Mingyu, you thought the image of him, haloed with the sunset, was the one you wanted to keep forever. And yet, somehow, you don't think you'll ever forget the way he looks right now.
"Will you ever come back to Seogwipo?" you ask.
"I was gonna ask you the same thing—you were always the one who wanted to get out of here." He grins, ear to ear. "Of course I'm coming back. There's nowhere I'd rather be."
"Yeah. I think I know what you mean."
The sea, the clay dirt, Mingyu. Even yourself, clumsy and care-worn. You think, somewhere along the line, you forgot how to love. But you're learning—one step at a time.
"Friends," you say. "Let's be friends. If you'll let me."
"Thought you would never ask. Gladly. Always." The space between you seizes, like it's holding in a breath. Maybe one day, you'll think of closing it once more, but you like where you stand now. You can admire him better from a distance, without your fingerprints all over him. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, something he does before he gets ready to leave. But before he does—"I'll see you soon, okay? You better come back. Promise me."
For the first time, you see the honesty in his eyes and you really, truly believe him.
"Promise."
The Seogwipo sun is high and red in the sky when you wave Mingyu goodbye. It feels like you're coming to an end of a long summer, but you're not afraid. You watch the wind dance through the peach blossoms, their branches never searching, never wanting, and you finally feel as if you've arrived home.
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house-of-lovin · 2 years ago
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safety net
Tara Carpenter x F!Reader
masterlist | over (1) | love language (2)
Summary: Tara Carpenter loved playing games with you. (inspired by safety net by ariana grande ft. ty dolla sign)
Warnings/Tags: toxic!tara, clueless!tara, mature language, implied sexual themes, mentions of violence and trauma.
Note: as promised THE LAST PART (woohoo😮‍💨) this was seriously a lot of fun and became a bit of a writing exercise using songs as prompts and trying to piece them together into a storyline. Thanks for all the comments, reblogs and feedback. They are so appreciated! Let me know what you guys think! <3
Word Count: 3.4k+
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“You’re staring, again.”
Tara snaps her gaze back to the book on the table, ignoring her friends’ smug smiles. “Why don’t you just go up to her and apologize?”
“She doesn’t want to talk to me, trust me, I’ve tried.” Tara rolls her eyes. 
It’s been two weeks since that night at the party and you have been ignoring Tara. You spent the rest of spring break working at your uncle’s shop, avoiding the friend group, sans Mindy because you couldn’t exactly avoid someone you lived with. Tara attempted to give you space the following days and then reached out to you in hopes that you could talk and sort out the situation. Tara doesn’t want to lose you as a friend. 
“I’m not gonna apologize for something that wasn’t my fault, Mindy. Just because she caught feelings doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. But now she’s ignoring me?” Tara scoffs, “Well, some friend she is.” 
“God Chad’s right. You two are clueless.” Mindy’s nose wrinkled.
“She knows where to find me when she’s done being stubborn.” Crossing her arms, she glances back at you. You were sitting across the quad, on a bench surrounded by your other friends; laughing and talking, unfazed by Tara’s brazen staring. 
How were you not seeing her shameless looks?
She swallowed the pitiful lump in her throat as she continues to observe your carefree nature. 
“Weren’t you begging me to tell her to call you back like a week ago?” Mindy objected causing Anika and Quinn to snicker as they listen in, not bothering to pretend like they weren’t eavesdropping.
“Begging is a stretch,” She mutters weakly, picking at the corner of her book.
“Tara, why can’t you just admit that you want to be with her?” Quinn ponders, genuinely confused as to why you two are playing hopscotch around one another. Everyone could see how madly in love you two are.
It genuinely puzzled the friend group as to why it’s taking this long to get you guys to stop playing games.
They just wanted to see their friends together and happy, definitely not because of the growing bet pool. And not because it was getting increasingly expensive to wager in the bet the longer it ran because you two refused to acknowledge the clear feelings you have for each other. (It was starting to burn a sizeable hole in their wallets)
The brunette shakes her head defiantly, “We’re just hooking up.”
“You’re not acting like you guys are just hooking up.” Anika counters, “actually, you guys act more like a couple than me and Mindy sometimes.”
“No. We don’t,” She frowns.
“Yes you do and it’s gross,” The aforementioned girl interjects. “No one should be cuter than me and my girl.” She wraps an arm around Anika, leaning in to lovingly peck the girl’s cheek. 
“Y/N’s always bringing you coffee when you study with us at the library, even though her class is on the other side of campus.” Anika comments.
“She always loses on purpose when we play card games just so you can win,” Quinn adds.
“She laughs at all your lame jokes and obscure movie references – there’s no way you enjoy Suspiria as much as you say you do,” Mindy stated.
“Hey!” 
“Dude, she has a Spotify playlist titled with your name and heart beside it.” Mindy throws her hands up, feeling a bit fed up.
“Doesn’t mean anything, we share music all the time!”
“Tara, Y/N literally takes care of your plants when you complain about forgetting,” Quinn objects.
Tara’s still feeling persistent. “That’s not true.” 
Her dying plants have been on the mend these last few weeks and it’s definitely because she’s been paying more attention to them; placing the potted plants in a better area for sunlight and watering them more.
Quinn shoots her roommate a pointed look, “You were over-watering them, Tara. Y/N had to come over and change the soil. Did you even notice?”
No, Tara didn’t even notice. She was shocked at how much went over her head as her friends continue to list all the little things you do that, apparently, she’s been too blind to see. She glances back at you as you’re talking to a girl; smiling, unbothered. She recognizes her from her creative writing class – Tara didn’t know you two were close. Close enough for the girl to wrap a hand around your arm and lean into your ear something that the Carpenter can’t make out from the vast distance.
Tara’s eyes slither into tight fissures as she watches the random girl continue to make herself comfortable on you. Eventually, whatever she felt she had to whisper so close was over, but not before the girl planted a kiss on your cheek unsuspectingly. The Carpenter watches as you slightly jump from the contact, then eventually grant her a shy smile – the same smile you reserved for her. 
Tara feels an unpleasant drop in her chest because, for the first time since moving to New York, she allowed herself to finally feel everything she’s been burying.
It was suffocating, making her want to claw at her throat to get rid of the nasty sensation. Regardless of how much she swallowed in an attempt to get rid of the feeling, it only grew larger as it ached; begging to be acknowledged. Hastily, Tara stands up, gathering her things.
“Where are you going?” Her friends' questions were left unacknowledged as she footed it, not really sure where she was going; all Tara knows is that she had to get away before her friends see her break down. 
In her haste, Tara misses your concerned eyes tracking her disappearing figure.
●●●
Tara is choosing to ignore the world and her problems.
After that conversation with her friends, she ran home, plopped into her bed and hid under the covers for the remainder of the afternoon. She put on her favourite horror movies, hoping it would distract her from her thoughts of you. But her efforts proved to be fruitless. You tormented her thoughts regardless of how desperately she tried to drown them out. 
So, she sat there until bright blue skies turned navy and drove herself mad thinking about you.
Trust came sparsely for someone who was violently attacked by a deranged murderer. As much as Tara tried to push through the past and live as if nothing happened, it plagued her in her daily life. It revealed itself when a phone rang too loudly, near kitchen knives, or in dark areas – there were just certain experiences that were tainted by the memory of Ghostface. 
But then you showed up. She remembers opening the door to her apartment and there you were, standing behind Mindy with a $15 bottle of champagne and a poorly-wrapped throw blanket for the old couch to celebrate the Carpenter’s housewarming party (an attempt at some normalcy) with a shy smile and Tara was hooked. 
No matter how much she tried to distance herself, echoing sentiments that it’s a bad idea to get involved with someone so soon.
You lured her in, anyway.
It was in your tenderness that you had Tara wrapped around your finger.
Normally, the Carpenter would be annoyed with someone treating her like she was made of glass, but when it came to you; she knew it wasn’t out of pity. Your gentleness was welcomed with open arms because for once in her life, Tara finally felt like she didn’t have to be so brave all the time, at least, not when she was around you. 
She didn’t have to pretend her life was as put-together as she made it out to be. 
Because for once, someone had finally made her feel like she is worthy enough to stay for, to care for, and maybe to love. And that was terrifying because all anyone in her life had ever done is let her down and leave – Sam, her mom, her dad, Amber. So she kept you on a tight leash; taking control and leading. Never letting you close enough to see how she really feels about you. But there are cracks in the unsturdy walls she tries to put up, she’s not perfect. How can she resist you when you still willingly chased after her regardless of what she’s put you through – and how even through her harshness, you never lose your gentleness with her.
You create real balance and peace within her (not the fake one, she’s desperately fronting) and to someone who’s only known chaos and instability – that’s terrifying. So sue her, for being a little scared.
So, yes. 
Right now, Tara is ignoring everything around her because that realization is too big a burden to deal with.
She has her legs pulled up to her chest, the fuzzy blanket you gifted months ago, wrapped around her shoulders as she watches the TV from the couch; not really paying attention to the film. Her eyes begin to burn the longer she stares at the blue-lit screen causing a painful sting to her pupils. 
A terse knock on the front door startles her making her blink at the sound. 
Everyone was out for the night; Sam at therapy, Quinn at a hookup’s house and her other friends, all off doing their own thing. She wasn’t sure who could be at the door at this time. Cautiously, she stands to silently walk to the door – the pads of her naked feet connecting to the wooden floor litter goosebumps on her skin. Standing on the tips of her toes, Tara looks through the peephole.
She sees you shifting on your feet, glancing over your shoulder – looking unsure if you should even be there. 
Tara feels a pit forming in her stomach, but moves swiftly to unlock the door, opening it. 
“Hey.” She says softly, palm wrapped tight on the doorknob in an attempt to ground herself.
“Hi.” You rub a hand on the back of your neck.
“What–what are you doing here?” Tara sees you flinch, mistaking her tone for malice but you’re answering before she can correct herself.
“Mindy said you needed my help.” You drawl as if confused. 
Tara shares your confusion, brows drawing together. “I… don’t need help?”
You shake your head, clenching your jaw tight, “God dammit… I think she set us up.” 
“Oh.”
Rolling your eyes, “Yeah, oh. Look, that’s my bad, I’ll deal with her. You can go back to… doing whatever you were doing.” 
Tara sees you eye her attire glumly; an oversized shirt that covered her bare legs; assuming the worst. Her eyes immediately widened like saucers, grabbing your arm before you could leave. 
“No! That–that’s not–I’m home. Alone.” She clarifies. The word ‘alone’ taking a special raised and rushed tone. 
You scoff, pulling away from her, “good for you.”
“Can we talk?” Tara calls out, she can’t let you leave yet – despite her previous decision to ignore you and ignore her feelings. The longer you stood across from her, the more she realized just how much she’s missed you these last few weeks.
“No.” You continue to walk down the hall.
Tara grows desperate, running after you and grabbing your arm again to stop you from leaving. The concrete floors were rough on the soles of her feet. “Y/N, please.”
You turn, ready to yank your arm away from her grip but her watery eyes halt you; sympathy bubbling lowly in your chest and you curse inwardly at how easy it was for her to lure you back in. 
“Can y’all shut the fuck up? Some people are trying to get some sleep!” A voice interrupted, it was her neighbour, peeking his head a couple of doors down to yell at you two. He pops his whole body out when he sees Tara’s revealing figure, shooting her a lewd smile through his cigarette-tainted teeth,  “Oh hey, there.”
Tara feels you turn in her hold as your face drops – jaw clenching as you glare at her sleazy neighbour (who was at least in his late 40s judging by his greying hair) “Go back inside unless you wanna get fucked up and stop looking at her.” 
He stares back for a few seconds, debating if the challenge was worth his time. You move her behind you with a tug of an arm; blocking his view of her. Tara knows it's the wrong time but she couldn’t help but move closer; inhaling your familiar perfume. “Man, you’re not even worth my time.”
You wait until he shuts the door before facing her again, muttering under your breath. “Creepy motherfucker.” 
“Go back inside before anyone else comes out here begging for a show.” You tell her, lightly pushing her back to her door. But her hold on your arm tightens, “Not until you come inside and talk to me.”
You sigh, looking around the hallway in an attempt to buy yourself some time before you eventually gave in – tugging her inside the apartment.
Only once you were both inside did you pull away from her grip; Tara’s arm falling limply by her side. You look at her expectantly, “Well?”
Tara remains unmoving and silent, She curls into herself, leaning against the back of the couch just staring at you
You grow annoyed at her silence, running a hand on your face, “Tara you begged me to talk…” 
Still nothing from the Carpenter; she isn’t sure why she can’t say anything now that you’re standing in front of her. Maybe it was because she wasn’t ready to confront you and her feelings but as you stood there, about to leave, she knew she couldn’t let that happen. She wasn’t sure when she would see you again, this was the closest you’d been around her in the last few weeks. 
At this point, she was acting on pure impulse and heightened emotions.
“Unbelievable…” You mutter, grabbing the doorknob. She can feel practically feel the sharp snap in your patience as you try to leave, again.
“I don’t get you.” 
That stops you in your tracks, making you turn looking confused. 
“What?”
Tara begins to shake her head.
“I mean, I don’t get you… Like, why are you still here? Jesus, Y/N, you’ve been ignoring me but you still came here cause you thought I needed help. Even after all the petty shit I’ve been doing with those guys to fuck with you and after the party” She grabs at her hair; roughly tugging on it. “And even after all that, you still chase after me. Why!”
“Because I love you.” 
Tara inhales a sharp breath at your admission and how carelessly easily you said those words. Your brows furrowed like you looked genuinely confused by her question, it has Tara scoffing in disbelief. Unsure how you can still give her genuineness even after everything she’s done, she doesn’t deserve it.
“No, you don’t, you can’t. We’re just hooking up, it was just sex.” She denies, but a fog of tears is beginning to cloud her eyes. Even through the haze, she can see you approaching closer, holding a cautious hand out. 
“Maybe I am just a hook-up to you… but I didn’t just catch feelings for you. I’m not just falling in love with you, I already fell Tara. More like, I dove head-first without a life jacket,” You take the moment to chuckle dryly.
“And yeah, that wasn’t part of the plan but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself I didn’t tell you that there’s someone that wants to wake up and fall asleep beside you every day. Someone that wants to show you that maybe this time you don’t have to be so afraid to let someone in.” You shake your head, looking down for a brief moment of insecurity but you regain the passion in your eyes as you connect gazes.
“So, look me in the eyes and tell me that I’m just a hookup, and if you do. I’ll leave you alone – for good.” She desperately blinked away the tears as she attempts to meet your eyes to tell you that you are just a hookup, it is just sex, she doesn’t love you too. But when she meets your eyes, she sees tenderness again and suddenly her knees are buckling under her.
Her body doesn’t meet the ground like she expects it to. Instead, you grabbed her, wrapping a firm arm around her waist as you held her weight up. She can hear distant mutterings of comfort being whispered in her ear but nothing registers as she realizes that she’s starting to sob uncontrollably. 
“Baby…need you to breathe… ‘gonna make yourself sick.” 
She couldn't hear anything around her until her face is being pressed into soft fabric; clawing at it, in a desperate attempt to self-soothe. She’s having a panic attack. 
“Tara… Please, baby, you have to breathe–” You beg but Tara can’t hear you properly.
Nothing works until she feels you wrap her in a firm hug, still leaving her enough space so as to not feel suffocated. One arm around her waist, the other hand wrapped around her neck, as you rub soothing lines on her clammy skin. 
A few moments of silence pass until Tara feel the pressure in her chest ease as the ringing in her ears subsides. She gasps for air against your chest, coughing as a burning ache in her throat develops. The rubbing of lines on her neck turns into firm pats on the back as Tara continues to cough through her tears.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You shush her. Eventually, her coughs turn into occasional sniffles and deep breaths as you run fingers back up her hair comfortingly; giving her all patience she required.
“I’m sorry,” Tara says once she pulls her head off your chest, keeping a tight grip on your clothes.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” Your eyes softened as you ran the pads of your thumbs to wipe away at her tear-stained cheeks.
She shakes her head in your grip, “Yes, I do. Even now, you’re still treating me so well. I don’t deserve it.” Her voice turns into a broken whisper as she finally allows herself to be vulnerable.
“Oh Tara,” You said so tenderly, “You deserve the world, baby. You’re amazing.”
“No, I’m not,” She shakes her head, beginning to pull away from you, not wanting to hear your words and how genuinely you believed it. 
You tightened your grip around her waist, preventing her from moving. “Yes, you are, if only you can see yourself the way I see you. Oh, Tara, you don’t even realize it. You amaze me, you make me want to be a better person, that’s what you do to me, that’s what you make me feel. Not the other stuff you’re saying.”
Shaking your head, passion raging in your eyes; eye contact with the smaller girl unwavering, “The way you care for everyone around you, and how you carry yourself despite everything you’ve gone through… Baby, it’s amazing to watch you be yourself. I know, I know… After Amber, it’s hard–” That makes Tara’s eyes widen, unaware you knew about her and her late friend. 
“–to trust people but, if you just gave me a chance and spared me an ounce of trust to let yourself fall… I promise I’ll be under there waiting with a safety net.” 
Tara examines your eyes, there was no ounce of dishonesty in them. But that’s to be expected, you’ve always been genuine with her, always up-front, and calling her out on her shit – with love. It was one of the things that made her fall for you. Where everyone around her treats her like she’s a porcelain doll, letting her get away with whatever she wanted – you stopped her, but always in a way that was more so loving and protective rather than overbearing and smothering.
The thudding in her chest begs for reprieve as her heart craves to be moulded with yours. Her heart wants to know what it was like to beat in tandem with you, to finally allow herself to be caught instead of trying (and failing) to hold herself up all the time. 
As Tara’s body caves in on herself, she pulls you down by the neck, unable to hide the content sigh that leaves her lips when your mouths meet in the middle. The kiss was sweet, passionate and firm; it poured out all love that words could never capture; where the tool of language proved to be invaluable in expressing her feelings. 
“I trust you…” Tara whispers when she pulls away, unable to school the smile breaking across her lips. You giggle, making her smile wider. For once the heaviness in Tara's chest feels bearable with you in her arms. 
No other words were exchanged as you two attempted to meet again for a kiss only to bump noses and miss because you two were beaming so wide.
●●●
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happy reading!
:)
1K notes · View notes
luciopioid · 6 months ago
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No Looking Back
minnie x f!reader . 2,572K words
tags: older minnie/age gap. alcohol. use of “girl” and other feminine terms. vaginal fingering.
synopsis: minnie is a regular at your cafe job. after one particularly hard day, she runs into you and helps you out in more ways than one.
Minnie hands you a glass of wine before she sits down beside you on her couch– albeit probably too close, but the smell of her perfume and her radiating body heat next to you makes any doubt disappear immediately.
“So how long have you been there?” She asks, ruffling a hand through her hair. You shoot her a look. “The cafe, I mean.” She chuckles.
“Oh! About a year now. My last job wasn’t getting me by, but the pay here is a little better and the tips are good. I’m thinking about quitting though because last we–” You catch yourself.
“Sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous. But a year. I’ve been there a year.” You chuckle awkwardly, catching minnie’s gaze as she looks at you with a warm smile.
“Why are you nervous, baby?”
You feel your face go hot and it takes every fiber within you not to start giggling like an idiot.
You don’t really remember how you got here exactly, but you do remember crying profusely and running into one of your regulars at your job.
_
It was raining and you had just worked a shift from hell. Customers yelling in your face, whipped cream and green tea spilled over your pants and shoes– the whole nine yards. You practically run out of the cafe on your way to your car. You huddle to yourself, as if it will make the rain avoid you specifically given you forgot your umbrella. You sit down in your passenger seat momentarily, and for the first time in six hours, you breathe. Ready to go home and shower and probably cry, you start your car. Or try to at least. You turn the key again. And again. And again, but to no avail it doesn’t start. At all.
You feel tears stinging at your eyes, but you blink them away and decide to get out and pop the hood. You don’t know what you’re looking at. You just want to go home. Your hair is wet and your clothes are cold and damp.
At some point in between clocking out and having a breakdown in the rain, you ran into Minnie, a regular customer at your job that comes in every other day.
Shit.
You didn’t know what bothered you more: being in this vulnerable position for anyone to walk by and wonder if you were crazy or really down on your luck or having the woman you’ve had a crush on for literal months walking by and wonder if you were crazy or just really down on your luck. You prayed it was the ladder.
“Are you okay?” She asks after she gets out of her car, jogging towards you. “Do you need a jump?”
She’s in high waisted jeans and a blouse. Unlike yours, her hair and clothes dry. “Here,” Minnie says, passing you her umbrella as she goes to open your hood. It’s useless now, but a kind gesture nonetheless.
“I don’t know if it’ll work,” You whisper, “With the rain and all.”
“Are you locked out your car?” She asks, concerningly.
“No.” You say calmly.
“So why didn’t yo–” She pauses and laughs softly, understanding you’re in a particularly vulnerable state.
“Look,” Minnie pauses. “I live right there. Why don’t I take you to my place really quick so you can dry off and when the rain stops, I’ll come give you a jump, hmm?” She says with that same familiar smile that made you weak in the knees when you see it.
As charming as she is, you didn’t want to be pitied, even if you were quite literally having a breakdown outside of your job.
“I don’t know, It’s–”
“Come on!” She says pulling you to her car by your arm. Not letting you finish your potential objection.
-
“Thinking about what’s gonna happen to my car if it’s broken. Thinking about how I’m in a stranger’s huge fucking apartment as I wear her clothes. You know… the usual.” You joke and Minnie gives you that same warm smile as she chuckles. You finish the rest of your wine in one sip. Minnie gives you a concerning look before doing the same just for the hell of it.
“I feel like I only had a shitty shift because I didn’t see you today.” You say, entirely too late to take back.
Before you can try to awkwardly change the subject, “I can’t tell if you’re blaming me for your shitty day or if you missed me.” She says jokingly and you immediately feel a relief fall over you.
“What? Of course not!”
“Of course you didn’t miss me? Wow… Here I thought I was a favorite of yours.” Minnie says fake dramatically and for the first time all day, you feel a real genuine smile creep on your face.
“I’ve always wanted to ask, is Minnie short for something?” You inquire, your nerves slowly zipping away from the glass of wine.
Her eyes light, “No, actually.” She says matter of fact-ly. “It’s just a nickname. My real names Nicha.”
“Nicha,” you repeat to yourself, “That’s pretty. It’s fitting.”
You regret meeting her eyes because the look she’s giving you makes you want to dart your eyes in the opposite direction, but in fear of looking like a pussy in front of the most attractive woman you’ve ever seen, you hold it.
Minnie is looking at you, eyes low and smiling. “You’re so pretty, you know that? Not used to seeing you outside of your work.”
You feel your stomach tingle and your face heat up again. “Yeah?” You say, deciding to play this little game with her back.
“Yeah. You look even better in my clothes too.” She adds.
In the back of your mind, you knew this was crazy. Going to the home of a woman you barely know, letting her wash your clothes and putting you in her’s. Letting her offer you alchohol—at worse— drinking it.
“Was this your plan?” You ask, voice low and sultry. “Get some drinks in me. Try to jump my bones?”
Minnie scoots closer to you, “What? Of course not!” She says, mocking you from a few moments ago. “And don’t say it like that. Making me sound like a creep.” She jokes and shows you that smile you can’t seem to get enough of right now.
Minnie gently takes your hand and opens it. “D’you want me to stop, baby?”
Fuck.
“No.”
“Good.” She brings your hand to her mouth and presses a light kiss to your palm. You look at her with desperate eyes.
“You’ve had such a hard day,” Minnie coos, face inching towards you. “Can I make you feel better?” She whispers into your ear, as if there was anyone else around. You nod, saying yes to whatever that entails.
She kisses the sensitive skin where your ear meets your neck and you let out a soft gasp. You couldn’t believe this. You gently move her face in front of yours, holding her by her chin with your fingers. She bites her bottom lip mindlessly as she looks at yours. Minnie’s eyes flicker up to yours. “Can I kiss you?” She whispers, and you waste no time closing the gap between the two of you. Her lips press against yours firmly before she opens her mouth to take in your lower lip. She sucks at your lips slowly as you moan in between kisses. She tastes sweet like expensive wine and her lips are just as soft as you imagined.
Minnie’s hands find your hips and she grips them, tugging you closer. She pops her mouth off of yours and latches onto your neck. She gathers a part of skin between her teeth before biting down, you gasp unexpectedly before she soothes it with her velvet wet tongue and plump lips.
You’re dizzy. This is all too much. It’s too much, but you can’t help but want more.
She nips and sucks at various spots of your neck, ones that you are sure will leave marks, but you can’t find it in you to care. She comes off of your neck to meet your eyes, her nose touching yours. Minnie tugs at the bottom of the shirt of hers that you had on. She looks at you for permission and as soon as you give her a nod, she begins to bunch up the shirt at your collarbone, leaving your chest bare and exposed. Minnie places her hand on the small of your back before laying you down on her couch as she settles between your legs.
Mindlessly, your hands go to cover your breasts. That is until Minnie goes to lean down towards your ear. “Don’t hide from me. You’re so beautiful.” She says kissing at your neck again. “Wanna see you,” Her hands gently cover yours and move them away, “All of you.” Still holding your hands at your sides, she wraps her mouth around your nipple and you involuntarily whimper at the warm, slick contact. She twirls her tongue around it repeatedly, each time trying to earn another one of the beautiful sounds you make. She lets go of one of your hands, but you keep it there. In obedience. She uses her now free hand to pinch at your unoccupied bud, making you yelp and clench your fist. She switches to the newly pinched nipple and sucks as she kneads your opposite boob with her other hand, now leaving you with two free hands.
You use this as an opportunity to cup the back of her head with your hands as she sucks on your breasts repeatedly. Your hips buck into her involuntarily, wanting more of whatever was going on. You moan out into the open space again before asking, “More.”
It was all you could manage to say right now. Minnie pops off of your nipple and looks up from you at this position, “More what, pretty girl?” You groan at her and move your hips against her body, desperate for any sort of friction.
“I want you.” You say, low, for her ears only.
“Yeah?” She teases you as she creeps one hand up from your chest to your lips. She cups your face, her thumb grazing over your bottom lip. Without her even asking, you open your mouth, allowing her to slip her thumb in with ease. You wrapped your tongue around the lone digit, watching her eye your mouth in adoration.
She slips her thumb from your lips and slowly replaces them with her middle fingers and like before, you obey and suck. You allow her to push them back into your mouth, you coat her long digits in your saliva as you moan around them. “Look at you. Such a good girl.” Minnie muttered. “A good girl just for me.” She grins. Her praise was making your head spin.
Minnie pulls her fingers out of your mouth and lays against you,holding herself up on the forearm surrounding your head. She slips a hand into the front of the shorts she gave you. Your underwear was in the wash along with the rest of your clothes, you’ve never been more grateful, for the sole fact that her slick wet fingers immediately met your clit, making you gasp softly.
“Please.” You beg. Now feeling extremely desperate to feel her inside of you. She kisses your cheek and shushes you. “Shhh. Patience, love.” She whispers. Her fingers circle your clit once more before teasing at your entrance. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” She teases.
Her mouth finds yours as she kisses you, slow and languid. It’s at this point too that she decides to push her fingers into you, making you groan into her mouth at the feeling. Minnie starts off slow, her fingers pumping in and out of you at an excruciating pace for you. You whined at the sensation. “Please— Go faster.” You whimpered against her mouth.
“I’ve always wanted to have you like this. Always wanted to fuck you.” She says, almost as a confession. If you weren’t physically at a loss for words, you’d tell her the same. You’d tell her about how you always eyed her long fingers and strong hands as you took her order. About how good you thought her plump lips and nose would look under you as you rode her face. If only she knew.
She fucks her fingers into you more firmly now, at a new pace that makes you moan with every pump. A pace that makes you grip at her arm, your nails digging into her flesh. “F-fuck Minnie. Please.” She bites at your neck once more. The multiple stimulations making you mewl like a fucking kitten.
She comes up from the crook of your neck to admire your face. Your face flushed with a glowy sheen— she’d swear she’s never seen a more beautiful sight. You continue to babble nonsense and whine as she fucks into you, you feel a knot forming in your stomach as you’re being inched closer to release.
“Say my name.” She says softly, almost sounding desperate, but still demanding.
You moan and attempt to do as she says, “Mi—.”
“Nu uh,” She interrupts you, grinning, “My real name.”
As soon as she said that, she began to speed up, her fingers hitting a spot that you felt were sure to make you cum around them soon. Barely able to speak, “N-Nicha…” You whimpered. You feel her smile against your bare skin. Your hips begin to buck against her hand. She sucks on your neck, her face finding that same spot that earns the familiar noises from you. “Close, Nicha…close.” You mutter out between moans. You knew you weren’t going to be able to last long.
The movements of Minnie’s fingers in your pussy we’re becoming sloppier as you clenched around her. “There you go,” she coos, “Come for me, pretty girl.” And with one last praise, your walls tighten around her fingers and your hips grind against her, hard and desperate. You let out a string of curses and whimpers followed by her name as she kissed you all over. “Want you to cum all over my fingers.” She says, sending you over the edge with one last whine before entirely riding out your climax.
Your heavy pants fill the entire room. Minnie’s forehead touches yours while she hovers over you. You decide to break the gap again and meet her in a long, slick fluid kiss. You could feel her fingers still inside of you before she slowly pulls them out of you. Her face still centimeters away from yours, she puts her fingers into her mouth, allowing herself to taste you before turning her head to pull you into a deep kiss once more. You moan into the kiss, tasting yourself on her lips— you swear you’ve never been more turned on. You stay like that for a few mere moments before the beeping of her dryer snaps the two of you out of it.
“Do you feel better, baby?” She asks, coming off of you and sitting up. She fixes her hair and adjusts her shirt.
“Much better.” You say, offering her that same shit eating grin in return.
Minnie cups your face with her free hand, giving you a gentle kiss on the cheek before standing up from the couch.
“I’ll go get your clothes…”
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spenceragnewfics · 5 months ago
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spencer and reader fake wedding on tntl
I hope you enjoy! This also helped me write something I wanted to featuring Court's birthday TNTL!
WEDDING BELLS?! | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader
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TW: Cuteness is all I can think of.
Word Count: 1.3k
Description: Filming a birthday TNTL is always special, especially when Y/N and Spencer can do a joke poking at their best friends. 
Try Not To Laugh is one of Smosh’s biggest series that the channel does. It’s one of Y/N’s favorites to film because it’s never the same, every episode is different and fun to film. As one of the newest cast members, Y/N was still nervous to film the show but today was going to be different because her boyfriend Spencer was filming the episode as well. It was a very special one because it’s for Courtney’s birthday.
Sitting on one of the stools, she’s scrolling through her phone when she feels arms wrap around her from behind. Her face lights up when she sees the familiar tattoos and smells the ever familiar cologne, “Hey, Spence. Whatcha doin?” She asks, leaning her head back onto his shoulder.
“Just seeing what my beautiful girlfriend is doing.” He says, rubbing her arms as she smiles at him. “Well, I’m just waiting for my amazing boyfriend but I can’t see to find him. Have you seen him?” He rolls his eyes as she laughs, he playfully frowns before walking away with his head down. “No, no, babe. I’m sorry. Come back.” She gets off the stool and follows him. She hugs him from behind when he stops, resting her head on his shoulder, “You’re so mean to me.” He says, faking to be sad but she doesn’t know that.
“I’m sorry baby, I was just joking.” He turns around with a big smile on his face, “I know, I was messing with you.” She huffs as he pulls her into his arms. “Okay, you two are sickeningly cute. We get it.” Angela says as she walks on set. “Awe, Ang, I can help you find someone.” Y/N suggests, “Nah, I’m okay. This is plenty for me for now.” The two women smile at each other before more people start to come in.
It’s not much longer until everyone is on set that needs to be there so they can start shooting. Y/N stands between Courtney and Spencer to do the intro, “Woohoo. It’s Courtney’s birthday!” Ian says as the entire cast and crew cheer for them.
“So we, we have a very special try not to laugh today. We have so many people, including maybe some surprises.” Ian continues, making a silly voice towards the end. Courtney laughs then mocks him before he continues, “It’s gonna be a big one. Courtney, how are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling extremely nervous, I haven’t seen any of you all day until literally two minutes ago. So it’s, we’re doing like shock therapy. Here we go! We’re going in, we’re diving in!.” They say, their nerves slightly showing. “All right, let’s dive in guys, let’s go!” Ian says as everyone cheers then moves around. 
The first four on the stools are Shayne, Courtney, Y/N, and Spencer. Amanda starts it off, doing a very good security guard impression and everyone is able to hold their water in until someone dressed as Freddy Fazbear pops out. Y/N screams when she sees it, spitting out her water while Courtney spits out theirs from laughing. Shayne and Spencer spit their water out a second later.
It turns out that Trevor is in the Freddy suit which makes Y/N surprised. “I would’ve never guessed it was Trev. Honestly.” She says, laughing as Trevor talks about how he can’t see anything.
Ian goes next, using a speaker to play some sound effects. Courtney, Y/N and Spencer laughed and then suddenly it’s Ian reading straight from Twilight. Y/N grips Spencer’s arm as she starts laughing even more, “I can’t, I can’t” She says breathless as she holds onto him for support.
Next is Olivia, who makes everyone laugh with her gagging and farting before she comes out as Boneless. She gives Courtney two paintings she did before leaving.
Erin D walks out dressed as Gerald Cakes and does a little and turns before saying “I’m on my way.” Making all four spit out their water as she twerks. 
Damien is next and Tommy walks out first. The four wait until Damien walks out dressed like Baron Harkonnen, he doesn’t even get to do anything as Y/N already spits out her water from laughing. The bit gets better as it goes on, everyone spits out their water before it’s over.
Vida comes out next with a ukulele. “There’s nowhere to- actually. There’s a lot of places to masterbate when you’re at Smosh.” She sings, making everyone shocked. Courtney covers their mouth while Shayne turns away. Y/N and Spencer look at the crew shocked while she grabs his hand.
“Just don’t tell my boss.” Vida sings, Shyne spits out his water almost immediately. “And as my gift for you, I’ll share a few.” Y/N squeezes Spencer’s hand, getting ready for whatever is about to happen.
“So the crying bathroom’s obvious and the voice over booth.” Courtney spits out her water at the one. “You can use Ian’s office, just make sure Ian’s through.” Spencer lets the water out of his mouth, shocked that this is going on. Y/N remains the only one with water in her mouth.
“On the games stage, you can master your moose.” Y/N spits out her water at that as Spencer quickly shakes his head. “Dear god, please no!” She begs looking at the camera. Vida soon ends her song to applause as everyone laughs, shocked at the whole thing.
Brett Miller, comes out and sings Court happy birthday as Marylin Monroe. The final one before they switch out is Bailey. Emily gives the all clear and the four wait, she doesn’t walk out from behind the divider.
“So, guys, do you have any plans after this?” Bailey’s voice asks from behind and they look to see her dressed as Bystander. They all spit out their water as Y/N and Courtney scream.
Angela runs out screaming, “He won’t leave me alone.” The two do the bystander bit and after it’s time to switch out.
Y/N, Shayne, and Spencer walk behind the divider as Ian and Olivia sit with Court. “So, Spence, I think we should do our bit together.” She suggests, looking at her boyfriend excited. “What do you have in mind? You look very mischievous.” He asks, a little nervous.
She whispers the plan in his ear, making him smirk as the plan is genius. “Ooo, Tommy! Come here!” Y/N says, pulling the man in and she fills him in on the plan.
A few minutes later it’s Spencer and Y/N’s turn. Tommy walks out first, a bow tie around his neck and book in hand. Courtney looks at him confused until Y/N walks out in a white outfit with a veil on her head. Spencer then walks out with a tie around his neck, the crew screams in excitement as they try to see if what’s about to happen, happens.
“Dearly beloved cast and crew, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the Courtney wannabe and Shayne wannabe.” Courtney spits out their water as they laugh. “Do you take each other to be wedded husband and wife?” Tommy asks, “I do.” Spencer and Y/N say in unison.
“By the power vested in me and the state of Smosh. You are officially copycats!” He declares as Spencer dips Y/N and kisses her. The cast and crew cheer as they stand up straight. “We really aren't’ going to beat the rumors now huh?” Y/N jokes and Spencer shrugs before they walk back behind the divider.
Once the two are behind it, they start laughing as he pulls her into his arms. “Maybe that’ll be real one day.” She looks at him with a raised brow, “Maybe? I was hoping for definitely.” He chuckles before kissing her cheek.
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