#listen. i felt inspired by the fics going around abt the sexyman polls
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"So," Red says while leaning back in his seat, "How's makin' it to round two?"
"Ehhhh," Subz says as he fumbles into the room sparsely decorated with a "Losers' Bracket" sign, "I was put up against God. Not much I could do about it."
Red hums, "Seems about right. At least you weren't like Ash."
"I still won!" Ash yells out from the other room, despite trailing into the room the previous day, covered with blood after being mercilessly pummeled. At least Subz and Clown don't look as bad as the rest of them, even if both of them have seen better days.
Clown lets out a snort, "I mean, at least I beat out Tubbo the first round. I think that counts for something."
"You barely did," Red says as he recalls Clown barely surviving the previous night, "At least you didn't get swept first round...unlike me."
Subz lets out an amused snort before walking out the door again, "Yeah, sorry," He looks at a message on his communicator, "Uh. I gotta go, Joe invited me for tea. For 'Good Sportsmanship' or something like that. Cya."
All of them say goodbye as Subz shuts the door behind him.
Branzy huffs, "Man, why don't I get invited to anything like that?! I got freaking sacrificed for goodness sakes!"
"Listen, it was a little bit funny."
"Maybe to you, Red! But not for me!" Branzy says as he medical supplies for Ash, his campaign was the one with the most losses, after all.
Red lets out a snort, "At least your campaigners didn't lose too badly, unlike As-"
"I can still hear you!"
"You weren't supposed to hear that!" Red yells back.
It's hard to hear through the muffled wall, but they're pretty sure Ash said something about "kicking their asses if he wasn't recovering in bed."
Clown shakes his head, "On the bright side Branzy, your sacrifice helped me out in round 2!"
"Oh, shut up you two!" Branzy protests back, "I even lost in the redemption poll..."
"You and me both, Branzy," Red says.
Branzy takes a deep breath.
"You and me both."
#mcyt#reddoons#branzy#clownpierce#ashswag#itzsubz#lifesteal smp#mcyt sexyman#tw violence#tw injury#<- just in case#sighs. one of the more! stranger fics ive written#this is NOT going on main btw half of this was literally written on discord message and the other half on tumblr drafts#listen. i felt inspired by the fics going around abt the sexyman polls#and i was like 'yk? a lifesteal one might be fun!'#and then a demon possessed me and i wrote this. awesome!#also this serves as a time capsule. i guess. a messed up one but yk you get the gist#also broke heart emoji my first time writing subz....i have 0 clue how to write him so hopefully he isn't too ooc?#<- says this as a ash and red main for writing#anyways. sighs. im gonna post this on ao3 too for the lolzies#because mcytblr sexyman polls being canonized on ao3 is VERY funny#it only takes 3 users to canonize a tag or whatever. doing my part#anyways longest ramble of my life. red and branzy voted least sexy sexyman (both lose in round 1 and the redemption polls. skull emoji)
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