#listen the christmas specials are funny but c'mon now

[erased443]

*gut wrenching angst. something absolutely vile and horrendous. something so emotional and thought-provoking the reader starts sobbing* Jack in the next chapter:

[parkers-gal]

warmth from the love T.H.

summary : baby holland's first christmas (requested)

word count : 1700

—

"Love, c'mon! She'd look so cute wearing this, though!" Tom said, giggling.

"Tommy, we're gonna look like nerds!"

"It won't matter, everyone knows I'm Spiderman!" He said, grinning cheekily.

You rolled your eyes playfully before adding the onesie to the collection of toys and clothes you were buying for your baby. It was Scarlet's first Christmas, and she was only six months old. Of course, Tom was outrageously excited, buying gift after gift for her. You loved it, loved seeing him like this. Having a kid, settling down, it changed Tom. Not enough for everyone to notice, but you saw, and you knew. He was happier, and more in love with you.

"Tommy, calm down," you said, giggling at his little squeal.

"I can't! We just bought all these things! For our babygirl! I'm so excited!"

"She's such a daddy's girl," you said.

It was funny: how proudly Tom talked about his daughter, and how easily he became flushed and smitten at someone else talking about her, even you. He was like that now, blushing profusely and hands growing clammy the second you mentioned Scarlet.

"I really love you," you whispered.

"Yeah?" He said, hands going to your waist to pull you flush against him.

"Mhmm," you hummed, nodding with a sheepish smile.

"I really love you," Tom said, giving you an Eskimo kiss, his nose warm against your cold one.

You were wearing a really fluffy coat, and underneath that you had one of Tom's sweatshirts. It was bitterly cold, but the heat from Tom and the warmth from his heart was enough to keep you from shivering.

***

You had set your purse down, putting your coat on the hanger as Tom went to hide all the presents in his closet somewhere. You were headed for Scarlet, following the sound of her sweet laughs.

Walking in, you saw Harrison holding her, bouncing her on his knee while they both giggled at each other.

"Well well well," You said, drawing his attention to you.

"Hi, Y/N," Harrison said, before looking back to the babygirl and cooing at her.

"I hope she wasn't too much trouble," You said, reaching for her.

"Not at all," Harrison said, getting up and handing her to you. "We had fun, didn't we Scarlet?" He said in a baby voice. She had only giggled in response, a laugh that Tom heard as he rushed his way in.

He gasped, a bashful smile on his face. "My babygirl," he pouted, waving to her.

Tom silently asked for her, and you immediately took the hint, handing Scarlet over as Tom sat down, bouncing her on his knee just as Harrison had done.

"He's really happy," Harrison said. The two of you were leaning on the kitchen island, leaned in to talk quietly in hopes that Tom wouldn't hear too much. It wouldn't matter, he was too caught up in his baby to listen in on the gossip you two would share.

"Yeah," you breathed out.

"And he's so in love with you."

"Yeah?" You said, turning to look at him. "How do you know?"

Harrison had tilted his head, as if it was the most obvious answer. "I can tell from the way he looks at you," He confessed. "He's never looked at anyone this way; nobody's ever made him feel this way, before."

"Feel what?" You asked, generally curious. You knew Harrison was right, you saw it too, you felt it too.

"I don't know if there's a word for it," he admitted. "It's so much stronger than love, though."

The sound Scarlet crying was what took you out of your chance. You knew she was probably hungry, but her cries were quieted as Tom comforted her, doing more than someone else could manage. He hurriedly got up from his spot, carefully handing you Scarlet as you got ready to feed her.

Tom had taken your place next to Harrison, and you had decided to sit on the counter across from them.

Tom was in and out of the conversation, too entranced by you and the baby to give Harrison his full attention.

Harrison couldn't be annoyed though, not when he saw how Tom felt, how happy he was. It made him want to cry, because Tom deserved all that love and joy, and he was grateful he had found someone to give it to his best mate.

"Tommy?" You said, catching his stare.

"Hmm?" he said absentmindedly.

"You alright?" You giggled.

He nodded slowly, before quickly shaking his head to get him out of his state. "Yeah, I'm great."

***

It was Christmas Eve, and you had been running around the house all day: wrapping presents, cooking dishes, and prepping the house for the guests that were coming.

"Love?" Tom said.

You were in the kitchen again, finding silverware to match the plates. Upon hearing Tom's call, you looked up and saw him holding out his arms, an offer you couldn't resist.

"Just want a hug," He said. And that's what he got: your face in the crook of his neck as you both swayed lightly. You were fiddling with the curls at the nape of his neck, and his hands were gentle on your waist.

And then, the doorbell rang. Tom went to get it as you took of your apron, heading to Scarlet's room to bring her as well.

You found Tom and his family sitting in the living room. Nikki saw you with the baby and immediately called you over, snatching her granddaughter in delight as you giggled at her.

You said 'hi' to everyone before sitting in Tom's lap to join the conversation.

After ten minutes, Scarlet started the whine, which eventually lead to cries and wales.

"I think someone wants her mummy," Nikki said with a small smile, handing her over to you.

"Well, I think she wants her daddy," You said, getting up. You handed her to Tom before telling everyone you'd be setting up the dining table.

They were watching Tom; watching the way he held Scarlet, and the way he gave her sweet little pecks on her cheeks and nose and head. They watched the way she calmed down the minute she was back in his arms. His family saw the way she used her tiny hands to weakly grab onto his hair, his shirt, and his entire finger, and they knew Tom had finally made it, had finally gotten his happily ever after.

*** Waking up on Christmas morning, Tom had given you a deep kiss, one that he said he would resume when the time was right. The two of you had gotten up and made your way downstairs, finding Nikki and Dominic in the kitchen making breakfast.

The Hollands had spent the night, with the inclusion of Tessa and Sam's girlfriend. The boys had bunked in the spare bedroom, as well as Scarlet's nursery.

When Tom went to get her, he found her asleep in Harry's arms, Tessa laying down by him. Tom smiled timidly, and Harry had looked up and smiled back. He'd gotten up, handing Scarlet over to her father before he and Tessa had made their ways downstairs, Tom following suit.

"Morning," Harrison had rasped out, his voice rough and evidently filled with sleep. You suspected all of the boys would be like that, and you were right. The thought made you giggle, which Tom was quick to question.

"What're you laughing about?" he said, a playful smile on his face

"Nothin'" you said, still giggling.

"You sure?" he said, breathing out a laughing.

"'M positive," you assured him.

"C'mon! Presents!" Paddy said, leading the way into the living room. The fireplace was lit, as well as a few stray candles. The stockings were filled, and the sparkles shined in the light of the dancing fire. The tree was beautiful, absolutely utterly magical. There were dozens upon dozens of presents stacked underneath, and the scent of cinnamon wafted through the air.

Tom's parents had taken the couch, Harry sitting next to them. Sam and Elysia had taken the arm chair, Elysia sitting on his lap. Tessa and Paddy and Harrison had respectively taken spots on the ground near the tree, and you and Tom and the baby had taken the loveseat.

You were leaning your head on Tom's shoulder, Scarlet quietly resting in his arms. Presents were being passed around, names neatly written on the shiny wrapping. Tom had randomly kissed your forehead before putting Scarlet in a bassinet beside him.

"Tom! This one's for you!" Paddy said, attempting to give it to him. "It's really heavy," he breathed out.

Tom laughed, taking the hint and standing up to grab it. All eyes were on him as he unwrapped it, gasping and looked to you in disbelief. "Love, you didn't."

You giggled, patting his arm. "Oh, I think I did."

Finally, Tom had unwrapped the entire thing, revealing a brand new guitar. It was one Tom had, had his eye on for months, but it was rare and hard to get.

"It's so pretty," Tom said, before quickly adding. "Not as pretty as you, though."

Harry had playfully gagged from beside them, and you could only laugh. And then, Tom had leaned in for a kiss, and you graciously did the same.

After opening some for you, Tom had said it was time to open the ones for Scarlet.

"Tom, you bought so many!" you said. "We'll be here all day!"

"Yeah but it's her first Christmas!" Tom playfully pouted. "She's gonna be so excited!"

Carefully he picked her up, seating her on one of his legs as his family opened her presents. Her eyes were wide with curiosity and confusion, and Tom's heard swelled with love. He was always first to speak with excitement, making comments like "you see that, baby? It's so cool!" or "Look at that!" before tickling her.

You didn't realize until now, but Scarlet's first Christmas was a big deal to Tom. Christmas & the holidays was his favorite time of year, and he only wanted to make it a special time for his babygirl too. Though the season was cold, you couldn't help but once again, feel warmth from the love.

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather Chapter 78: Who Am I Talking To?

Wednesday, December 20th, 1989 Pittsburgh Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

"Thank you Pittsburgh, we love you!" Vince shouts at the wild crowd chanting Crue.

We run backstage sweating and panting. This was our last show of 89. We are heading home for the holidays.

"Shit I'm so fucking tired." Tommy breathed out while using a cloth to wipe his face.

"Same fuck." Vince huff's as he drops himself on the couch in the change room.

"Here." Mick walks over to us handing each of us a water bottle.

"Hey boys you excited." Doug smiles walking into the room with Fred walking in behind him.

"Excited for what?" Tommy asks.

"For the Christmas break." Fred says with excitment. "I finally get to get away from you fuckers."

"Haha very funny Fred." Vince chuckles sarcastically.

"Man I can't wait to see my family. This tour is exhausting." Doug groans.

"You're exhausted?" I question looking at Doug. "We're the ones playing every night."

"Yeah well still, keeping you guys in check is extremely difficult." Doug says as he walks and sits by Vince. "So what are you guys doing for the holidays?"

"Ugh, I have to spend Christmas with Heather's family." Tommy says dryly.

"Is that a bad thing?" Vince chuckles.

"Well kind of, they can be annoying some times. Especially her mom, her and Heather are always nagging me."

"What about your family?" I ask.

"Her family and my family are coming to our house. Heather wants me to clean up and help her cook. As if I know how to cook." Tommy shrugs.

"I don't know why she would trust you in the kitchen, drummer. I wouldn't eat anything you cooked, I'd rather starve to death." Mick speaks up.

All of us start laughing. Tommy throws his cloth at Mick and he grins and swats it away.

"What about you Vince?" Doug leans back on the couch looking at Vince.

"Me." Vince grunts and leans back on the couch as well. "I'm going to spend Christmas with Sharise's family."

"What about your kids?" Fred asks.

"I'm going to see Neil, but I can't see Beth. Elizabeth won't allow me to see her. She's keeping her away from me. I'm hoping that me and Sharise can have a child togther soon."

Doug patted Vince on the shoulder. I felt bad for Vince. He was always complaining that Beth would on purposely tell Vince to come see Elizabeth on the days that he was out on tour just so he wouldn't be able to see her. She wanted his money but didn't want him around. I hope he gets to have a child with Sharise.

"Well at least Sharise wants kids with you. Heather won't even talk about children with me." Tommy frowns.

"Give her time Tommy she'll come around." Doug says.

"She's had three years now. It's going to be four when we reach May of next year." I point out.

"Exactly." Tommy sighs.

"Well, since we're talking about families. I'm meeting Emi's family for the first time." Mick speaks.

"Good for you Mick." Fred nods. "I'm spending time with Jess's family for the first time."

"Ouuu Fred you and Jess getting serious?" Tommy chuckles.

"He's got googley eyes for her." Vince laughed.

"Yeah, I do." Fred smirks. "It's about time I settle down instead of fucking around like you clowns."

I listened to the guys talk and laugh about spending time with families and loved ones. I felt bad that I didn't have a family to talk about. I was hoping that no one would ask me any questions. It would make me feel worse.

"So what about you Sixx?" Doug looks at me.

"He's obviously going to be with Mani." Vince chuckles.

"Bitch." Tommy sneers under his breath thinking that I didn't hear him.

After he says that, the room goes silent. All the guys look at me with wide eyes and shock.

"Tommy!" Fred growls. "That's not cool."

"Don't speak about her like that." I move from the table and walk towards him. "Seriously Tommy leave it alone."

"What? I'll never forgive or like her for what she did."

"That's fine if you don't wanna forgive her or like her. But fucking respect her Tommy. She's my girl!" I raise my voice.

"Oh I'm sorry Sixx." Tommy touches his heart turning to me. "I didn't mean to disrespect your girl who can't even tell anyone about you guys relationship." He snarled.

"Tommy enough." Mick speaks up.

"Enough of what?" Tommy questions. "We all know that their relationship is in the closet. I feel sorry for you man." Tommy smirked and shook his head. "Can't kiss, hug, or hold hands in public."

"And you can't have children with Heather." I spat. "Cause she probably knows that you're still sticking your dick in different holes."

"Fuck you Nikki!" Tommy yells.

"Alright boys enough!" Fred yelled. "Change and let's get the hell outta here! I'm tired of your shit!"

I back away from Tommy. I walk to the side and grab my bag and walk out the door.

On the jet..

I sat in a seat alone writing in my notebook. I've been writing a lot of poetry and stories since I left rehab. It's been keeping my mind busy, especially from drinking.

"H..hey dude."

I looked up to see Tommy standing by me rubbing his hair. I scoffed and went back to writing completely ignoring him.

"Can I please sit?" He pleads.

I shrug but continue to write, I'm not sure what he wants to talk about. I'm pissed at him after what he said about me and Mani. It's clear that he doesn't support my relationship.

"So uh, what are you writing?" He asks hesitantly.

No response.

"You uh, writing new lyrics." Tommy says nervously as he starts using his fingers to drum on his thigh.

No response.

"Sixx c'mon, please can we talk?" He pleaded.

I sighed and looked up at him then closed my book.

"Talk."

"Ok, well I'm angry at Mani because she shit on something that was special to Heather. And on top of that she nearly killed you Nikki. That was uncalled for."

"Tommy." I leaned forward so I could be face to face with with him. "I am sorry about Heather, ok. I apologized before and I'm still apologizing now. I know Mani feels bad about it too. But you need to let it go."

"It's hard for me to let it go." Tommy huff's leaning back on the couch.

"When you first brought Heather around us. She looked at me like I was shit, and she would always make snide remarks about me and the band. I tolerated it because you loved her."

"Yeah, you did." Tommy frowns.

"Look, I was mad at first when Mani did that to me. But in a way I deserved it. And if I'm being honest, I'm glad it happened. Because it brought us back together and helped us to talk about the things in our past that we never resolved."

He nodded his head and turned away from me.

"Tommy I love her, and I'm trying to stay on this positive path. I'm balancing staying sober, being in a secret relationship with Mani, these new emotions, touring, fighting with Brandi for a divorce, and you."

"Sixx-"

"Listen, if you can't let it go and forgive her than we can't be friends. Because I can't allow you to speak about her like that. She means a lot to me."

"So what are you saying?" Tommy mumbles and looks at me.

"I'm saying...that I'm choosing her."

It went silent for a long time. I could see it in Tommy's eyes that he was a bit upset. I hate to do this to him because we have been best friends since 81 and he is my terror twin. But this relationship with Mani means a lot to me. She trusts me, she loves me, and makes me feel good about myself. I want things to go further with us and I... actually.. we can only do that by keeping the negative people away.

"You really love her huh?" Tommy looks up at me with a sad face.

"I do Tommy, she means the world to me. She forgave me after everything I put her through, so that has to mean something worth fighting for. I don't want to lose any chance of happiness."

Tommy nodded his head slowly and rubbed his neck.

"Sixx, you're going to get mad at me. But I have to tell you something." Tommy says with a nervous look on his face.

"Please don't tell me you did something stupid." I let out and amused groan.

"Well...it could be considered funny." He shrugged chuckling.

"What is it?"

"I uh..I sent Mani a coke bomb on her birthday when she was in paris." He mumbled lowly.

"Tommy." I groan and slide down in my seat.

"Sorry I was still pissed off." He waved his hands. "But I'm not anymore, I see how happy she makes you and I feel bad for saying rude things about her infront of you."

"It's fine." I sigh and sit back up. "Just from now on I need you to be nice to her. Considering how much I hurt her I want her to feel safe and accepted with all of us."

"Yeah I hear you. We good?" Tommy raises his brows.

"Of course T-bone."

He got up to leave but stopped and turned around.

"Also, another thing Sixx." Tommy's face turns serious. "Remember how you said it wasn't Mani that drugged you. What did you mean by that?"

"I meant that it was her manager. She's not a good person. She tells Mani to do fucked up shit and she's always in her ear whispering bad things to her."

"So Mani always does what her manager tells her to do and say?" Tommy asks with concern.

"Did Mani say something to you?" I furrow my brows.

"N..no..I just wanna know." He chuckled nervously.

I sigh and scratch my head ready to tell him.

"Look Tommy, I use to manipulate Mani when she was younger because she couldn't think for herself. I would tell her what she wanted to hear or call her to make her pity me and feel sorry for me so I could get her to come to me. Then, I would make her do things that she wouldn't normally do. Like running away on tour with me. It was so easy because she was young and raised in a strict house hold and very sheltered. She knew nothing about the real world. She grew up never being able to make decisions for herself. Other people always made descions for her, including me. But I realized how dangerous it is to manipulate someone who can't think for themselves. It means that when someone tells Mani something, it's hard for her not to listen. Especially if that person has been in her life for a long time. Like her manager."

"Shit." Tommy mumbled and rubbed his head. He started biting his fingers tips and looked down at the ground.

"Yeah." I breath out. "Now that I'm sober and able to think properly I try my hardest to sit down and talk to her instead of putting thoughts and words in her ear. Mani's a sweet girl. I want her to make her own decisions. I want her to stand up to Tamara rather than say yes to everything Tamara tells her to do."

"Does she know you use to manipulate her?"

"No." I shake my head. "But I am gonna tell her when the time is right. It's something that she needs to know."

"Fuck." Tommy breathed out.

"Tommy." I called to him. "If she said something to you, you know you can tell me. Right?" I ask with seriousness.

"Oh..uh..no she didn't say anything to me." He studdred. "When I see Mani again I'm going to apologize for how I've been treating her. I want you and her to be happy."

"Thanks T-bone."

Los Angeles's

When the jet landed we all got out and gave each other a hug goodbye. We weren't going to see each other until next year. I got into my limo and reached home. I sigh as I looked around the big empty house. I didn't bother to put my stuff away properly. I sat down on the couch wondering what I would be doing for the break. Before Mani left she said she would call me and we can talk often. She's spending time with her family in Canada for the holidays. Every one has someone except for me. My holidays are going to be very lonely. I guess shit just doesn't change for me. I was lonely in the past, I'm lonely in the present, and chances are I'll be lonely in the future.

After taking a quick nap. I've been speaking to Mani a lot on the phone. I had to pretend like I was ok here. I told her that I was going to be hanging around with my friends for the Christmas break. But I have no friends. The ones that I do are still on drugs or drinking. Robbin called me as well but he was so out of it that I had no clue what he was saying. Tom also called and I spoke to some of my aunts and uncles. I wish I could go to Idaho, but there's not enough time. Plus I don't want to go to Idaho by myself. I got up then headed downstairs with my new base that Mani got for me. I sat there and started strumming but nothing was coming to me. I just felt bored and unmotivated.

Ring Ring Ring

I put my base down and walked to the phone.

"Hey."

"Hi babe."

"Hi princess how are you?" I asked as I walked back to the couch and sat down.

"I'm alright, just checking in on you. I hope you're ok?"

"Babe I'm fine, I keep telling you that. What's that noise in the backround?"

"Oh." She laughs. "It's my mom's church music. She plays it every Christmas. I can't believe you can actually hear it. I'm in my sisters room and the music is downstairs."

"Yeah I can hear it." I chuckled. "So is it just you and your family having a Christmas dinner or are other people going to be at your place?"

"Well we're actually going over to my uncle's house. Him and his wife just had a baby. So the whole family is going to spend Christmas there."

"That's...that's great." I mumble.

I stayed silent for a bit. Family. Something that I have never had. Going over to my girlfriend's house for a Christmas dinner to meet her family is something I wish I could experience. People always groan and complain about not wanting to see their in laws. But that's something I would kill to have.

"Nikki are you still there?"

"Oh ..uh sorry I kind of tuned out a bit. What were you saying?"

"I said so what are you doing today?"

I sighed. I wanted to tell her that I have no plans today or any other day but I didn't want her to pity me. I don't want anyone's pity. And I don't want her to travel all the way down here to come and be with me. I want her to be with her family. She deserves to have happiness. She deserves to smile.

"Oh, I'm going to be hanging with friends." I said with fake excitement. "We're going to go out and eat. You know, do guy stuff."

"Guy stuff?" She questions.

"No strip clubs I promise." I chuckled.

"Are they clean?" She asks with concern.

"Yeah babe they're clean." I assure.

"Nikki I can come after Christmas to see you-"

"Mani I'm fine." I assure. "You came out for my birthday so please spend time with your family as long as you need to."

"Ok." She says casually. "I'll call you later."

"Alright babe."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

We both hang up the phone. I think maybe I'll go out shopping for myself. And buy some Christmas presents for people. I probably won't give them the presents till after Christmas cause everyone will be with their families.

I tied my hair back and put on a baseball cap and sunglasses for my disguise. I grabbed my car keys then locked up and got into my car. It was busy out on the roads. People wanted to do some last minute shopping before Christmas.

I stopped and parked my car and got out then headed into the mall. I grabbed a shopping cart then walked around looking for things to buy. I picked up a couple of things that I thought Mani would like, I also got something for Fred, Jess, Tommy, Vince, and Mick. I got something for Tom as well, I'll have to ship it down to Idaho.

"Nikki?"

I tensed up hearing that familiar voice.

"Hi Brie." I smiled nervously.

"Hi." She smiled and gave me a hug. "Nice disguise." She chuckled.

"Well it keeps the fans from recognizing me." I shrug. "Uh..well it's nice to see you I have-"

"Nikki you don't have to keep avoiding me." She frowned. "I know you and Brandi are going through some trouble but it doesn't mean that when you see me you have to run away."

"I know." I rub my hair feeling a bit awkward. "It's just Brandi's your daughter and I don't want trouble."

"I understand." She nods. "But also I feel like you should try and work things out with her. I don't feel like you two really tried. You know she really misses you and wants you two to work things out. And well, so do I." She speaks softly.

And you wonder why I avoid you.

"Brie." I sigh. "I don't know if Brandi told you but I'm in a relationship with someone else."

I saw the hurt on Brie's face. I felt really bad for having to tell her this. Ever since me and Brandi have been having problems I haven't spoken to Brie. Last I saw her was when she came over to get Brandi at our Dr. Feelgood release party. Since then I've been avoiding her like the plague.

"So, you marry my daughter and tell her you want to have a family with her. But the moment you two start arguing you want to call it quits and move onto a different woman right away." She said bitterly.

"Brie it's not that." I groaned.

"So what is it?" She furrows her brows and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Brie I'm sober now." I sigh. "I'm not doing drugs, I'm not drinking, I'm not smoking. I'm clean and Brandi's not. So it's a problem for me."

She nods her and looks passed me like she's thinking. "Well problems have solutions. Why don't you come over on Christmas eve to my place and we can sit down all together and talk about all of this. Brandi will be really happy to see you." She pleads. "And honestly I miss you too. I'm sure you don't want to be alone for Christmas. I know you don't have any family here. And Brandi is still your wife."

"Ok I'll think about it." I nod. "I..uh..I gotta go."

I push my cart passed her and speed walked over to the line. I paid and ran out of the store. I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed for some reason. I threw my stuff in the trunk, climbed into my car, and sat there for a bit. Maybe spending time with Brie and Brandi wouldn't be so bad. They both miss me and I do need company. Plus I'm still married to her so it's normal for married people to spend time with each other.

"Fuck Nikki no, you can't." I grumbled to myself. "Fuck."

I drove out of the shopping mall parking lot and found myself down by the sunset strip. I watched all the teens hanging out by the clubs drinking and smoking. The place has calmed down since the early eighties. I looked down at my leg and realized it was bouncing up and down. Why am I feeling anxious and stressed out? I feel like I need a drink.

"Fuck." I groaned.

My problem is loneliness, it always has been. I turn and drive down to the cathouse. I park my car in the lot and climb out. I pull my hat down just a bit more to cover my face as I head into the cathouse. All these guys that never made it as rockstars are still here drugged out and drinking. This was a bad idea, I need to get out of here before I...

"Hey Sixx!"

I turn to the right to see who's calling me.

"King!"

I ran over to Robbin with open arms. He picked me up and gave me a big bear hug. Wow he looks like complete shit.

"Shit man where have you been?" He slurred.

"I've been on tour bro." I patted his arm. "You uh..you look..good." I lied.

"Thanks dude." He smiled. "Hey come sit." He grabbed my arm and walked me over to the booth he was sitting at.

"Hey Sixx what's up?" Riki walked over to greet me.

"Hey Riki."

He's another one that I tried avoiding. Especially because he introduced me to Brandi.

"I thought you were sober? What brings you here?" Riki asked.

"I was just driving by." I shrug. "It looks like King is doing his afternoon drinking." I point at Robbin.

"He's been here since morning." Riki chuckled.

"Well I have nothing better to do. Steven's pissing me off. He has lead singer syndrome. Thinks he's the shit, he's trying to kick me out of the band."

"He can't do that." I snap.

"Shit that sucks." Riki speaks up. "Hey you and Brandi still together or what?" He looks at me.

"We're married but separated." I say with nervousness.

"She really loves you Sixx, she told me herself."

I breath out and rub my face.

"Hey Riki you're stressing him out. Go get us some whiskey, Sixx needs a drink."

"Alright." Riki walks away.

"Uh no Robbin I can't stay, I'm trying to stay sober." I object.

"Sixx it's one fucking drink, it's not going to kill you like heroin nearly did. Come on bro for old times sake." He laughed and patted my arm.

"Robbin I can't, I promised Mani I would stay sober."

"Mani, Mani, Mani. Come on man, she's not here."

"Robbin-" I groaned.

"Ok, one drink. Just one drink."

"Alright here you go boys." Riki says as he puts the tray of shot glasses down. "I'll do one with you."

I look at the whiskey in the shot glass. My leg starts to shake underneath the table.

Would Iman find out if I had just one drink?

Will I be ok just having one drink?

"Sixx?" Robbin raises a brow.

It's only one drink. It can't lead to anything else.

"Alright, one drink." I smiled.

We pick up our shot glasses and down them. I clear my throat as the delicious taste of alcohol goes down my throat. I've missed this. I miss feeling alive, I miss hanging out with King and being at the cathouse, I miss partying.

"How about another?" Robbin slures.

"Sixx?" Riki looks at me.

"Yeah, I could use one more." I think one more will be fine. It's not like I'm over doing it. I rub my face and breath out.

"Atta boy!" Robbin yells. "Mani's been keeping you on a leash! It's time to free your self! Get the whole bottle Riki!" Robbin cheers.

"Alright, settle down Robbin." Riki chuckles.

Riki came back with two bottles instead of one. We opened them up and finished the whole thing. _____

Thursday, December 21st, 1989

Morning...

"Oh fuck." I grumbled.

I stird and looked around realizing that I wasn't at home. This looks like Kings house.

"King!" I called out.

My head was fucking throbbing. I rolled out of the bed and stumbled a bit using the dresser to steady myself. Something felt like it was coming up my stomatch. I looked around for the bathroom but couldn't find it. So I had to puke on the rug.

"Uh..shit." I groaned as I finished puking. I wiped my mouth and opened the door to leave the room. "Robbin?"

"He's still sleeping Nikki." Theresa said from downstairs. "Come downstairs and have some breakfast."

I walk downstairs and rub my face. I sat at the table feeling like complete shit for what I did last night. I broke my sobriety.

"Did we drive?"

"No, Riki called you guys a taxi and Robbin brought you here. Your car is still at the cathouse."

"Fuck!" I raised my voice. "Fuck!" I yelled slamming my hand down on the table.

"So." Theresa walks over with cornflakes and milk. "How much did you drink?"

She placed them down on the table then turned around to grab me a bowl.

"Two maybe three bottles." I say with disappointment in my tone. "Thanks." I say as I grab the bowl from her.

"And how does Iman feel?"

Ugh Mani will fucking hate me.

"She doesn't know, Theresa." I get frustrated and grab the cereal box pouring it aggressively into the bowl. "I'm not going to drink again."

"I said I was going to stop injecting heroin two years ago. So I went to rehab, but when I got out and came back home to Robbin. He had it all around the house and was doing it infront of me. So I relapsed." She says sadly.

I watch her as she picks up a cigarette and lights it up. Theresa used to be a beauty. Full figure, long black hair, tanned skin, with white teeth. Now she looks like me when I was on heroin. It's scary to see her like this.

"Have you spoken to Mani since Tamara fired you?"

"No I haven't." She shakes her head. "I don't want her to see me like this. I wanna be clean before I talk to her." She says blowing smoke out.

"She cares about you."

She nods her head and sniffles. "I always cared about her..I just..you and Robbin got me into this shit." She grumbles and points at me. "Now I depend on him for everything." She sniffles again. "My family won't even talk to me cause I married him. I have to spend my Christmas here with Robbin doing drugs." She sobbed.

I sigh and put my spoon down. "Theresa I can hook you up with a specialist. He helped me get sober. I can give you his number."

She snickers and shakes her head then puts the cigarette out in the ash tray. "He must be shit." She chuckles.

"Why do you say that?" I furrow my brows taken aback at what she said.

She gets up and leans close to my face placing her hands on the table for balance. "Cause you- are not-sober." She grins smugly and leans back. "Finish your cereal and get fuck out." She sneered and walked away.

I rubbed my face knowing that she got to this point because of me and Robbin. I introduced her to drugs the same why I introduced Mani to my life of decadence. The only difference between Iman and Theresa, is that Iman had her morals and was strong willed to never touch drugs where as Theresa gave in. I'll just finish my cereal and..

"Nikki!" Theresa shouted from upstairs. "You pouta! You puked on my carpet!"

I think I'll just leave now.

Nikki's house..

I picked up my car from the cathouse but before coming home I stopped to buy two bottles of jack. I might need them for later, you never know who's going to come over for a visit. I showered then brushed and laid down in bed. My head was hurting and I still felt like shit. I felt angry at my self for drinking. I swore to Mani that I wouldn't drink, but I did. And I had more than one bottle. The phone started ringing and I didn't feel like talking to anyone, including Mani. I was so angry at myself that I drank. But then again I can't ignore her, I love her too much.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby boy." Mani said in a seductive voice.

"Hey princess." I chuckled. "Better not let your mom hear you talking like that." I joked.

"She's not home, and uh, neither are my sisters."

I sat up on my bed and leaned back on the head board. "Mmm so what does that mean?" I breathed out smiling to myself.

"It means your hand needs to be inside your pants and my finger is going to be underneath my skirt." She chuckled.

I stopped smiling and sighed and stayed quiet.

"Nikki? Nikki, you there?"

"Is it..is it always going to be like this?" I ask sadly.

She sighs. "No it won't, and I'm so sorry for making you feel like this."

"It's ok babe, I put us in this situation. I know if anyone finds out about us it will be a problem for you."

"I'm sorry Nik."

"I just...it's frustrating sometimes when I see couples out walking together hand and hand or kissing and touching. And I can't do that." I say with agitation.

It goes silent on her end. I don't mean to bring up all these things before Christmas because I don't want her feeling bad for leaving. But all these emotions are just coming in and I feel like I'm about to drown in them.

"Do you want me to come back?" She mumbles.

Yes baby I do, I really need you here with me cause I feel lonely. Is what I want to say.

"No babe, I want you with your family." I lie.

"I love you baby boy." She whispers.

Nikki you have to tell her you drank.

"Mani." I said with nervousness.

"Yeah."

"I.."

"Youuuuu..."

"I um.."

"Nik, you sure you're ok?"

I can't do it.

"I love you too princess." I whisper back feeling very guilty.

"Aww baby." She chirped. "So how about that hand?" She asks seductively.

Afternoon..

I woke up after a nap. I really fucking needed it. I huffed when I heard my phone ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sixx it's Robbin, what's up dude?"

"Hey King, I'm good." I say

"Hey listen sorry about Theresa this morning. She's been in a bad mood since yesterday. That's why I went out to drink. Had to get away from her." He laughed.

"Nah, it was my fault." I chuckle. "I puked on your carpet."

"So, any plans today?"

"Mm, no not really. I'm going to be here alone." I respond trying not to feel sad.

"Where's Mani? I thought she was with you, that's why I brought you back to my place."

"She's with her family in Canada spending the break with them."

"Wow, so Christmas came early for you huh." He chuckled humorously.

"Yeah...I guess." I frown a bit.

"So, can I come over? We can chill like old times. We haven't really hung out in a while."

A part of me wanted to say no because Robbin is still snorting, drinking, and injecting. And I am trying to stay sober. But a big part of me wants to say yes because I don't have anyone to hang out with. Last night we had a lot of fun hanging out. It was like old times.

"Uh..no I'm waiting on Mani's call and we're going to have phone sex. So I don't want you to hear that." I lie.

"Alright Sixx, well I'll let you go then. Call me if you change your mind."

"Yeah sure no problem."

I hung up the phone and rubbed my face. I got up and walked around my mansion. What's the point of having a big mansion with six bedrooms, four bathrooms, three living rooms, a huge backyard with a pool if I don't have a fucking family. Does that make sense?

I walked outside and walked around my pool. I then came back in and looked in my fridge for something to eat but I didn't feel like eating. I then sat back down on the couch and turned the TV on. I watched MTV but I felt a little bored after watching it for some time.

I went upstairs to my office to see if I could find a book to read or find something to do so I could pass the time, but there was nothing. I walked into my bedroom and looked at the two bottles of Jack Daniels sitting on the drawer. There an was ich that was starting to form in my body. I bit my fingertips and started twitching my toes.

"Fuck Nikki no." I growled turning around and walking out of the room. I stopped infront of the stairs and started pacing. "Fuck." I rubbed my face over and over again.

The feeling wasn't going away. I needed something to do to get the feeling to just leave me. Maybe one drink can help get rid of the loneliness. Yeah one drink will be fine. This time I'm not around Robbin or Riki so I can control how much I drink. Maybe I can call Tommy and see what he's up to. We're both in the same boat staying sober, we can both look out for each other so that we drink only a little. I walked back into my room and dialed Tommy's number. My leg was still bouncing up and down. I hope he answers.

This is a two part chapter. Couldn't fit everything in one.

[marshmallow-fireside-keith]

Kissing Booth AU

Someone made a post about wanting more Kissing Booth AUs, so I figured why not? I’m severely heat intolerant and it’s already 13°C/ 60°F here. People can pry winter and Christmas from my cold, dead hands, as far as I’m concerned.

The next morning Nico would join the Apollo kids in their daily jog, and they would, eventually, be able to convince him that the camp needed this party and it may help him make some more friends if he went through with it. Nico would not admit it outloud but, he really did want others to stop fearing him, and to see him as a normal teenager, just like them. As uncomfortable as this made him, it actually was a chance to interact with people outside of the Apollo cabin. And the smile Will sent his way helped. A lot.

The day of the event had everyone running about. Some of the Hermes kids and a Hecate kid were placing up mistletoe, for what Nico could be sure was something more devious than kissing. Whatever sort of magic waited for the two unlucky enough to walk under it, Nico was not willing to test it out. The Aphrodite kids were setting Ugly Sweater Selfie booths, which, was exactly what it sounded like. The Athena cabin was intermingled with everyone, jotting down notes in their notebooks, as they made last minute coordinations for the event. The Hepaestus kids milled about with various ornaments and trinkets. Demter kids were tending to the Christmas trees. Nico, who decided the Hades cabin itself would not individually contribute, was hanging up special lights and decorations with the Apollo cabin.

Much to his chargrin, he was the only needing to bring the ladder to put things up. Reaching so far above his head also made the sleeves of his sweater slide down and bunch around his forearm. He was so painfully short. The sweater was a cheerful yellow one that he had needed to borrow from Will, as the Hades cabin (he really liked to call it that, because it made him feel like he had a whole group of brothers and sisters at camp, and less like he was the only child of the highly stigmatized god) had not been made holiday sweaters yet. He had begged to borrow one that was more his size, he knew he already would look ridiculous wearing yellow, but Will gave everyone else a stink eye and so he had no choice but to wear the one made for Will. Nico grumbled about stupid, tall blondes and damn Northern Europeans and their freakish height.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur.

Kissing the girls wasn’t as bad Nico thought it would be. Having no attraction to them whatsoever helped to take the pressure off.

Just when the line had dwindled down to nothing, and his booth had been vacated for the other festivities, Nico noticed Will jogging up to him with a token held up in his raised fist. He had a large grin on his face.

“Will, you dumbass, did you get lost? Wrong line, stupid.” Nico was glad for the artifical lighting that cast shadows which made his expression had to decern. He’d been kissing girls all night, no problem. Some would giggle at him, no, at the situation he was in; the Hades kid, moodiest camper around, stuck behind a booth kissing girls, it was funny. Some girls may have actually found him attractive, judging by their nervousness. All of the girls in camp had already been through and were out visiting other cabin’s booths. Clearly Will was just taking advtange of the situation. Nico felt both butterflies in his stomach and bitterness at the prospect of getting kiss Will; it was a funny joke, one that he didn’t find funny.

“Take the token, loser. There’s no rule saying which line I have to go to.” Nico rolled his eyes and took the token from Will’s outstreched hand. He placed it on his table and carefully surveyed his surroundings. The immediate vacinity, tha nfully, was empty. Will stepped closer and Nico’s fingers began to tremble.

“Aww, c'mon Neeks, it’s just my lips, gods. If I say no homo will you get over it?”

Nico snorted.

“Solace, you’re dumb.”

Will placed a hand over his chest and dramatically tossed his head. “Oh Nico, you hurt me when you question my intelligence. My self worth is crumbling right now. I just came here to have a good time, and, honestly, I’m feeling so attacked right now.”

“OH MY GODS SOLACE! Just get your dumb face over here and get this over with. I’m tired and I want to go to be-”

Well, the good news was he listened. The bad news was he listened. Nico’s shirt had been fisted in Will’s hand, and he used it to yank Nico forward. He stumbled but Will used his free hand to steady him by placing it at the small of his back. Nico scrunched the fabric on Will’s shoulders to keep his balance. Nico could feel his heart beat wildly from the sudden movement, which made it all the more difficult to slow his breathing as Will paused very close to his face.

The lighting couldn’t shield his face from this close up. Nico didn’t mean to but his eyelashes had automatically lowered over half his vision. At least he could blame his flushed face on the adrenaline from almost falling. And damnit his head had turned on its own and his mouth had opened, and now his lips were shaping themselves to accept Will’s. But Will, damnit, was taking his time. His eyes drawing to every part of Nico’s face. When they landed on his lips, the courner of his own drew up. Nico’s breath was visible in the cold, which meant Will could see it was coming out in short and quick puffs. Here Nico was, pretty much melting around him, and Will retained his calm, lazy expression.

Wills hand worked its way under Nico’s shirt, and he gasped at how warm and strong it felt against his back.

“Oops.” He said with a smirk, not bothering to pretend it was a slip of his hand.

Nico’s breath shuddered and he kept leaning more and more forward, until their chest were against each other. His licked his lips and closed his eyes, his brows furrowing, knotting on his forehead, to vulernable to continue watching Will make a mess of him.

Then he felt it.

Did Will have lightning powers too? Was that only a Zeus kid thing? Because he felt tingling all through his body as the pair of warm lips settled in between his. He let out another sharp gasp. The lips kept mostly where they were, save for gently, almost imperceptively, kneading around his. Fucking damnit, Nico moaned. Will pulled back and chuckled breathlessly, before reclaiming Nico’s lips with fervor.

A floodgate had opened inside Nico and then their kisses became heavy and needy. This time Will moaned.

Before he knew how it happened, or even when, a tongue that was not his own was in his mouth. “Mmmm, fuck, Will…” He groaned when they parted for air.

The sound of a throat clearing made the two jump away from each other like magnets that were repelling.

“Uh, ok. First, wow. Second, wow. Third? Uh. Probably also wow. Fourth, I’m fairly certain that is not the type of kissing that was kosher.” Lou Ellen was looking anywhere but them. “So, uh. Uh. Uh… I came over to help you take down your table, I noticed everyone else has gone down to the campfire. They’re making cocoa and roasting marshmallows.”

“Thanks, Lou. Meetcha down there.” Will chuckled heartily. Bless.

“Uh…,” Lou’s vocabulary was catchy. “Will, that. That wasn’t, was it? I mean, you know. I. Well…”

“That wasn’t a joke, Neeks. I would never play a trick on you like that.” Will looked sad.

“Oh, oh. Ok. That’s good. Yeah. Nice. Good.” Nico bobbed his head in repetitive nods.

“That was… amazing, Neeks. I-i think you enjoyed it too? So. Can I ask you something?” Proud, confident Will was nervous? Nico affirmed.

“Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

“Idiot.” Nico punched his shoulder and then gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“But I’m your idiot.”

“Damn straight!”

———— Sorry for not editing. I’m swamped with college work and life, and I wanted to mark this off my to-do list.

[scruffyplayssonic]

My favourite movies of all the years I’ve been alive.

Back in August 2015, I watched a Youtube video by Jeremy of @cinema-sins, where he was answering fan questions. One question that he addressed was, “What is the best movie of every year that you’ve been alive?” While Jeremy thought this was a great question, he didn’t think one video would be long enough to explore it fully, and he wanted to find another way to answer it. This eventually was done through the Cinema Sins podcast, SinCast. Each week, the cast would discuss the movies of a certain year and then vote on which one they thought was the best, starting with 1975 in episode 14, and then working their way through another year each episode right up until episode 54, where they voted on the best movie for 2015. They then took a break for a few weeks to get caught up on some of last year’s movies that they hadn’t seen yet before finally tackling 2016 in this week’s podcast, episode 58. 

I did my own picks for my favourite movie of each year back in August 2015, when I first saw Jeremy’s Q and A video. I really liked that question and was inspired to try and name my own favourites from each year. So to celebrate the SinCast crew finally completing this task, I thought that I’d re-post my list, which is now updated to include 2015 and 2016. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to comment and/or argue about my choices. And thanks again to @cinema-sins, for providing me with laughs every week in the podcasts and videos they release. :)

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1982: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial This might be a bit of a cheat, since the film came out in June and I wasn’t born until October, but oh well. It’s still the same year.

1983: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi The first Star Wars movie I was around to see the cinematic release of, although I wouldn’t see it in cinemas (or at all, shamefully) for another 14 years.

1984: The Terminator The original was pretty chilling. This still gets me every time. “Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with! It can’t be reasoned with! It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!”

1985: Back to the Future The beginning of what I still believe is the greatest movie trilogy of all time.

1986: Aliens More awesome from James Cameron.

1987: Spaceballs Well, it’s pretty funny. Plus I haven’t seen much else from this year, other than Lethal Weapon.

1988: Die Hard The original and quite possibly the best. More on that later.

1989: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade This was a tough one to pick, as Michael Keaton’s first Batman film, Licence to Kill, AND Back to the Future: Part II all came out this year. But it really has to be the onscreen chemistry of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery!

1990: Back to the Future: Part III At the time, I probably would have picked DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp. Ahhh, nostalgia.

1991: Terminator 2: Judgement Day I’m sure most of you who know me saw this one coming. To this day it’s still my favourite movie of all time. Silence of the Lambs would probably get second place for this year.

1992: Batman Returns It was a hard choice between this and Aladdin, which was my favourite Disney cartoon for a very long time. But since it’s not in my dvd collection and Batman is… Honourable mention goes to A Muppet Christmas Carol, my favourite of the Muppet movies.

1993: The Fugitive Another tough choice, considering that Jurassic Park also came out in 1993. But I just love the battle of wits between Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones.

1994: The Lion King Another of Disney’s finest. No contest, although True Lies, Speed, and The Mask were all excellent films too.

1995: Goldeneye (007) This was another tough choice, and Die Hard with a Vengeance came very, VERY close. It’s hard to live up to the awesomeness of that first film, but the partnership with Samuel L. Jackson definitely pays off here. But Goldeneye was the first Bond film I saw in the cinema, and I remember that experience vividly. Pierce Brosnan remains my favourite Bond, even though the next three films he starred in didn’t quite live up to this one.

1996: Scream The Rock and Independence Day were my other main picks from this year, but Wes Craven made an instant classic with Scream, which inspired so many other movies and spoofs. If only they’d stopped after the first Scary Movie…

1997: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (Special Edition) It’s a bit of a cheat, but technically the original Star Wars trilogy was re-released in cinemas that year with new “special edition” footage, which is when I first fell in love with the series. From original movies that came out in ‘97, it’s a toss up between Men in Black, Air Force One, and The Fifth Element.

1998: Rush Hour Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker were hilarious in this one. The Mask of Zorro was another great movie, and Deep Impact, which was waaaaaay better than Armageddon. Of course, a Michael Bay film will be obsessed with making things go ka-boom. :P Yes, yes, I know The Rock was a Bay film too. So sue me.

1999: The Matrix Another of my very favourite movies. The effects, the plot, the action… it was just sensational. The Sixth Sense was another very clever movie, and Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me was hilarious! But… c'mon, The Matrix, man!

2000: The Whole Nine Yards I was still a big Friends fan at the time, so I loved Matthew Perry starring alongside Bruce Willis. There was also Gone in 60 Seconds, which is one of my favourite Nick Cage films, The Emperor’s New Groove, and of course, X-Men. And then there’s Mission: Impossible 2… hey, be nice. I watched this a lot when I was in Virginia and homesick for Australia :P

2001: Ocean’s Eleven Such a clever film with a great cast!

2002: The Bourne Identity Spider-Man came pretty close, but Matt Damon was amazing as Jason Bourne. ...well, that most recent movie was kind of hit or miss...

2003: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl Who would have ever guessed that a movie based on a Disneyland ride could be so good?

2004: The Incredibles It was a good year for animation - there was this one, Shrek 2, and Team America: World Police. National Treasure came out too, which I quite like.

2005: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire There was also The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (a huge improvement on the previous two movies), Batman Begins, and of course, Serenity; the movie that had Firefly fans screaming, “NOOOOOOOOO!!!” near the climax. :P

2006: V for Vendetta I just LOVE this film. Top performances from Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman and John Hurt. The Da Vinci Code was my second choice. Controversial it may be, and people tend to poo-poo Dan Brown a lot, but I loved this movie too. Tom Hanks was the perfect choice for Robert Langdon, and Ian McKellan was brilliant as always. Casino Royale also came out this year, which brought the 007 franchise back from oblivion.

2007: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix I had to find a cinema playing this in English in Nanjing - no easy feat! But at least they didn’t butcher it like they did with Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (my second pick, after I saw the uncut movie on DVD). Ocean’s Thirteen was pretty good too, if not as good as the original. And of course, The Bourne Ultimatum. I was on the edge of my seat for that one.

2008: The Dark Knight A no-brainer. One of the best films of the decade, let alone the year. Iron Man was a surprise hit too. Taken was great. Oh, and I quite liked Steve Carrell’s take on Get Smart, even if he didn’t quite capture the original magic of Don Adams.

2009: Up My favourite of all the Pixars. Angels & Demons was pretty good too, although not as good as the first movie. Plus Tom Hanks cut his hair - I thought his shaggy do in the first movie suited Robert Langdon better. :P Strange that I liked Angels & Demons better of the books but The Da Vinci Code better of the movies. Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes was great too.

2010: Kick-Ass This one was a surprise, but I loved the deconstruction of the traditional superhero movie they did here. And when I read the original comic, I loved the film even more for the improvements they made. Nicolas Cage was hilariously hammy, but the major star of this one was undoubtedly Chloe Grace Moretz as the tiny killing machine, Hit-Girl. After that, there was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, and Toy Story 3.

2011: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 A fantastic end to a fantastic series. There was also Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which really surprised me. Excellent stuff there. The Adventures of Tintin - an amazing film that tricked me into forgetting it was animated and not live-action several times. Finally, The Muppets, which was such a fantastic return for some of my favourite childhood icons.

2012: The Avengers No surprise there. Honourable mentions go to The Cabin in the Woods, which is a delightfully insane deconstruction of horror movies, Looper, a film I still occasionally stay up late at night scratching my head in confusion over, and Skyfall, which is possibly Daniel Craig’s best Bond film so far. I also loved Wreck-It Ralph.

2013: White House Down This one was definitely the film I liked best from 2013 - and yes, that includes Frozen. You may charge with your flaming torches and pitchforks when ready. But what can I say? I love Die Hard, and this was basically Die Hard in the White House, yet it felt original enough to not just be a knock-off. The other ones I liked best would be the Marvels (Iron Man 3, the Wolverine and Thor: The Dark World), Kick-Ass 2, and Gravity, which was absolutely terrifying.

2014: Guardians of the Galaxy Marvel sure knows how to get my bum into the cinema - X-Men: Days of Future Past and Captain America: The Winter Soldier are up there, but Guardians wins out for pure fun (and the delightful company I had in the cinema <3). There was also The LEGO Movie, which I thought was very clever, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

2015: The Martian When I first made this list in August 2015, my prediction was that Jurassic World would be my favourite of the year. Nope, not by a long shot. The Martian was absolutely amazing - Matt Damon’s ability to keep the audience on the edge of their seats when he’s completely alone on the screen (and on the planet) is a major credit to him as an actor. Then of course we have Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation, and Terminator: Genisys. …no, really. Stop laughing, I really enjoyed it. :P And then there was Ex Machina, which was a really intriguing film that kept me guessing the entire time.

2016: Captain America: Civil War It’s no secret that I love my comic book movies, and this was definitely my favourite of last year. Civil War (the comic) was the first instance that got me intrigued enough to actually pick up and read a Marvel comic. It really raised an interesting question for me - just how accountable should superheroes be for what they do when fighting crime? Granted, the comic really went too far and made both Cap AND Iron Man look like total dicks, and I was relieved when the film managed to not use some of the more ridiculous ideas, such as a homocidal Robo-Thor-clone or a prison for superheroes in an alternate dimension that literally saps your will to live. On top of that, the film also introduced a fantastic Black Panther, and Tom Holland really nailed what Spider-Man should be. And that airport scene was worth the price of admission all by itself.

2017 (so far - I’ll update this at the end of the year): Passengers I’ve only seen two films so far this year, and Resident Evil: The Final Chapter was okay, but not great. I really enjoyed Passengers though, despite all the controversy it has surrounding it. It’s definitely not the same movie the trailers made it look like it was going to be though.

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I challenge any of my friends out there who are avid movie lovers to give this challenge a try - it’s not as easy as you’d think. Wikipedia is your friend though - just browse by “(insert year here) in film.” Comments telling me, “Yes, I love that film!” or, “Are you nuts? How could you forget THIS film?” are quite welcome. :)