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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The Three Days of The Hunter Job

leverage 2.05

hunt for the truth = fox news

you can’t change my mind, sorry

- - - - -

Nate: Here's what we can do. We can probably get you enough money to save the house and pay for medical bills--

Sarah: We aren't interested in money, Mr. Ford. This woman took my father's self-esteem. She took his reputation. She took his good name. That's what he needs back.

someone needs to make a compilation of their clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Sophie: I wanna take the lead on this one. I wanna do what you do.

Nate: Yeah, listen, I know breakups can be very difficult, Sophie.

Sophie: Whoa. No, that's not what this is about.

Nate: I know that you have this need to be in control right now, you know.

Sophie: I don't have any such need.

Nate: But you can't project that onto the con.

Sophie: Excuse me? This, coming from the man who spent an entire year drunk, working out his obsessive vengeance on every dimwit in a suit who happened to cross our line of vision.

Nate: Hey, you put some thought into that one, didn't you?

Sophie: You know, I'm not tryin' to control the universe just because some guy dumped me. I-I appreciate the concern. I just, I need a new challenge.

Nate: Okay. (hands Sophie the files) This is your job.

Sophie: Thanks. Now, let's go get this bitch. (walks away)

Nate: Oh, boy

fucking get rekt nate you’re the literal last one to talk

- - - - -

huh nate is wearing flannel in this one

- - - - -

Sophie: Exactly. And then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker: Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot: And poetic.

parker and eliot are cute

- - - - -

Sophie: But we can sell a story that commands respect. A story that she's gonna chase to get the respect she craves. Hm? Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news.

(everyone continues sitting, looking uncomfortable)

Nate: That's when you wanna...

Sophie: I wanna do that bit again. Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news. (leaves room)

Nate: She's walking into the closet

SOPHIE ITS OKAY YOU DONT NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET

- - - - -

Parker: I got the pass. Easy.

Sophie: Parker, we went over this.

[Exterior Studio]

Sophie: You're not supposed to take it. Get caught with it.

Parker: I don't know how to get caught.

Sophie: Yeah, I know it's difficult to steal badly. Just, just try

- - - - -

Monica (grabs Parker): Hey. Hey. I will have you arrested for trespassing if you do not tell me what you are doing here.

Parker: Technically, you can't have me arrested for trespassing because you don't own the station.

Sophie: Parker, tell her the story

parker: TRY ME BITCH

- - - - -

hardison doing crazy tinfoil hat guy is iconic

+ parker and hardison’s high five and “that’s what I’m talkin about!” ADORABLE

- - - - -

Parker: Eliot, these conspiracies aren't real, right?

Eliot: What do you mean?

Parker: Like that one over there that says all the major wars of the past 50 years were ordered by members of The Council.

Eliot: Parker, I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you. (walks away)

Parker: You're not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Is he?

Nate: Oh, I don't know. (walks away)

Parker: Huh? Uh, Nate, is he?

parker looked so vulnerable asking it and eliot’s just like,,, imma fuck with her LMFAO

also this is another chaotic ot3 scene that I’d die for

- - - - -

eliot taking the general’s id with his pencil and handing it off to hardison? SMOOTH AS FUCK

- - - - -

Parker: But what if he won't talk to us?

Monica: Then we celebrate.

Parker: Celebrate?

Monica: Denial means guilt. Refusal means more guilt. Punch out my cameraman, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.

Camera Man: Mm-hm.

parker: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

parker gets hit with a car ,,, how many times in this series does she get hit with a car ??

- - - - -

monica’s face when she sees parker get hit by a car is LITERALLY the exact same as the surprised pikachu face

bruh imagine you see this happening ,,, like a girl get hit by a car, a suit running out, grabbing stuff of her body, then running away ???

her playing dead on the ground for a hot minute before “waking up”, dusting herself off and walking away ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Move. Don't stop. Come on.

Monica: They ran her over.

Hardison: I know, but we gotta go. Security cameras, the ATM cameras, the traffic cameras. We're always being watched. Just put your head down. Act natural.

Monica: Why are you dressed like a mailman?

Hardison: Invisible man, mailman, nobody notices the mailman. He blends right in. Just like a circus clown.

- - - - -

Parker: We totally went to the moon.

Eliot: Movie sets. I've seen 'em. They're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker: Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot: Because they're gonna reuse 'em for the Mars mission. Repaint it all red.

her bumping shoulders with eliot and leaning on him? the casual intimacy that nourishes my S O U L

- - - - -

Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare.

Nate: Do I sound that creepy when I...?

Eliot: Hell yes.

Parker: Mm-hm.

Nate: Really?

Eliot: You do

- - - - -

Sophie: The only question is whether Hardison guessed her sources right.

Hardison: G-guess? Guess?

Sophie: Well, you know.

Hardison: Woman, my name Alec Hardison. I do not guess, OK? Look, journalists, they're lazy. They always go back to the same sources. I compared Monica Hunter's stories for the last ten years and created a heuristic model based on her sources. I-I filtered by story type, priority and evidentiary chain. Look, (pulls up info on laptop) sex scandal: 87 percent chance she goes to these sources. Serial killer scare: 90 percent she contacts these sources for confirmation. Government secrets and health scare intersects: Ninety-five percent chance she goes to these sources. Look, look. Right there. She's emailing them right now. Look.

- - - - -

Hardison: Get me out of here.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm working on it.

Parker (comes out of back room pulling on jacket): I'm on it.

Sophie: No, no, no, no, no, you cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker: Right

PARKER WAS R E A D Y TO GO IN AFTER HIM WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE OT3

- - - - -

Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever.

the realest part of the show

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, get me everything you can on a Lieutenant Abbot.

[Apartment]

Hardison: Just-just do what I taught you.

Eliot (typing on laptop): Now, the "http" thing comes before—

[Interrogation Room 2]

Eliot: --the "www-dot," right?

Hardison: Eliot!

[Apartment]

Eliot: Which one's the forward slash?

Sophie: Oh, come on.

[Interrogation Room 2]

Hardison: It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't the time.

[Apartment]

Eliot: It's not fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker: (holding a gas mask over her face before looking over it) I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting

someone PLEASE make an eliot-being-bad-at-technology compilation I’m begging

also it’s officially canon that hardison tries teaching eliot about technology

- - - - -

Eliot: No, that's everything on this guy.

Lieutenant: Sir, I need to know why you're on this base.

Hardison: Yes. Why am I on this base?

Lieutenant: I'm asking you.

Hardison: No, I'm asking you. Why am I on this base? Why am I in this room?

Lieutenant: So I can ask you questions.

Hardison: Or maybe it's so I can ask you questions, Lieutenant Kyle Abbot, Social Security 823-24-6270?

Lieutenant: I don't know what you're up to.

Hardison: Maybe you’re not cleared to know. Two disciplinary actions? That one in Germany? Maybe you're just too much of a security risk.

(lieutenant goes to leave and Hardison slams his fist on the table)

Hardison: Did I say you could leave?

(lieutenant swallows nervously)

T H I S

S C E N E

T H O

- - - - -

[Army Base Gate]

Nate: Not gonna work.

Eliot: It's all in the salute, man.

[Apartment]

Sophie: Just work the stars and bars. Nobody wants to--

[Army Base Gate]

(a soldier moves to the side of the car and leans in, saluting Nate)

Sophie: --look a general in the eye.

Nate: Uh, good form soldier. As you were.

Soldier: Clear.

(the gate goes up and Nate pulls into the base, parking near a building. He gets out of the car and walks toward the door)

- - - - -

Nate: We hunt for the truth through many dark places. (approaches Monica menacingly) I am a patriot, Ms. Hunter. I'm sorry. (to Eliot) Earl.

(Monica takes a can of pepper spray from her purse and sprays it in Nate’s face, driving him back. She runs out the door as he groans in pain. Eliot goes to pat his back)

Eliot: Good thing Parker switched that with water.

Nate: Didn't! Didn't switch. (they both start coughing)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Monica: My friends, this is the enemy. Our water has been poisoned.

(an aide spits out a mouthful of water)

JFNSKDKEJWJNFJ

- - - - -

(Eliot is cutting vegetables while Nate opens a bottle of wine and Hardison swirls orange soda in a wine glass)

hardison is literally swirling his neon orange soda in a wine glass as eliot cooks actual food for the fam I CANNOT

- - - - -

Parker (holds up photo): Loch Ness Monster.

Hardison: Loch Ness submarine.

Parker: No!

Eliot: Scottish waters are cold and deep. It's a perfect place to test.

Parker (holds up photo): Area 51.

Eliot: True.

Hardison: False.

Eliot: That's true.

Hardison: False. She said Area 51, 51.

Eliot: I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Hardison: Been there.

Eliot: Yep

I’m crying the ot3 was top tier chaotic this entire episode and parker was having A Time™ with all these conspiracies

someone make a compilation of these scenes overlayed with the wii music. pls.

#leverage #leverage 2.05 #leverage 2x05 #the three days of hunter job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

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lovebug5151 · 4 years

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Family Bonding (With a hint of Angst) Robodad Grian Au

(Yes, unless y'all have better ideas for the name of this Au, this is what i’m going with lmao. If you do have any, go ahead and say em! If i like it and it fits, ill rename it and say it was your idea in the next chapter.)

So this is about 2040 words, and i’m quite happy with it. I don’t think I made this one as sad as the first one, but im not sure. I actually have a story line for up to ch 5 of this story, and I hope that this is one of the last true sad chapters (Though I might spice some things up, dont want things too happy, do ya :D

This is also about a week or so after the events of the first chapter.

Grian sat on top of his mansion, just watching and listening to the wind, breathing in, and out. He needed to clear his head. Earlier Mumbo had made a offhand comment about how Grumbots heart was missing, and ‘maybe it fell into the ocean’ before laughing.

While Grian knew Mumbo didn’t have the same background as he did with considering Aware AI’s ‘just robots’, he had called Grumbot son, even if it was awkwardly. It hurt Grian, to know that Mumbo might hurt Grumbot, even unintentionally, if he did see him. And Jrumbot… he was just a child, his dad saying hurtful things would hurt him so much more.

Grian had to quickly finish up what he was doing, and rush back to his base to breath. He couldn’t work beside Mumbo at the moment, couldn’t explain how Mumbo had hurt him, and so had run off.

Grian leaned forward slightly to look down. It was a far drop. Grian had never truly been afraid of heights, he loved climbing high in the air.

It was joked that it was because he was short, that he liked to be tall, but he just liked feeling the wind rush around him, and the feeling of falling and pulling up right before hitting the ground. It was elating, and whenever he was feeling bad he just took a leap off a roof and fell, before swooping up using his elytra.

He wondered if Grumbot would like flying, he could fix up some Jet boots for him, maybe mechanical wings? Yeah, he’ll make some wings for Grumbot and if he liked them, maybe some for himself. He liked the idea of being able to mostly hover in one place.

He let out a breath and looked at the sun. It was nearing lunch, and if he didn’t come inside Grumbot would come looking for him.

Grian swooped down, landing in front of the door, before heading inside.

--------

Grumbot hummed as he finished cooking some steak. He and Jrumbot were able to eat regular food, and no one knew how, but neither Grumbot or Grian really wanted to question it so they let it be.

He put the steak on plates and turned around just as his Dad walked in. He smiled and said hi to him while bringing the plates to the table. Jrumbot was already there and they sat on chairs to eat.

It was quiet for a moment before Grian yawned. “Have you two ever wanted to fly?”

Grumbot looked at him weirdly for a second before nodding. “Yeah, kinda, but I'm way too heavy for an elytra.”

Jrumbot paused with his steak halfway in his mouth

“If fould fe fun fu fly” He said, still chewing his food.

Grian sighed slightly and smiled at Jrumbot

“Jrumbot, dont talk with your mouth full.”

Jrumbot finished his mouthful and squirmed slightly. “Sorry.”

“|Its alright. Its just something to that we dont make a mess okay?” Grian told him.

“Okay.” Jrumbot muttered, before continuing “But yeah! It would be so fun to fly!”

Grian smiled “I have an idea then, but let's finish eating, yeah?” Both of them nodded at him before starting to eat their steak again.

After dinner, Jrumbot went to go mess with some of the blocks Grian had given him, and Grian and Grumbot went down to the Lab. They called it a Lab, but it was just a basement with too many tech pieces in it.

Grumbot sat down in a chair before waiting for Grian to talk, while Grian went over to look at something on a table.

“Dad,” Grumbot started, when it was obvious Grian wasn't gonna start talking “What was with the questions about flying?”

Grian glanced back at him. “Not much, I was just thinking about something. You both know how you're too heavy for elytras, but I was thinking, if we remade some of your body into lighter but still strong metals, and used,” His talking stopped as he walked towards a wall. Grumbot was confused until suddenly a Shulker Box opened.

Grumbot stared for a second before laughing. “How did i not know that was there?” He got out between giggles.

Grian smiled at him. “I havent opened it around you, and you haven't snooped. I'm not surprised you haven't found it. I keep my old ideas in there, old blueprints, old mechanical pieces I just couldn't throw away, those sort of things.” Grian started unrolling a big piece of paper “And I remembered I had a blueprint of these old things.”

Grumbot stood up to look at the paper, and after taking a moment to understand it, froze with excitement. He glances up at Grian with a giant smile, and Grian smiled back.

---------

Grian let out a oof as Grumbot collided with him. Grumbot was giggling uncontrollably, and Grian was happy that Grumbot was happy. Grumbot let go to look at the blueprint again and looked up with eyes so full of excitement that Grian felt excited too.

“Can we actually make these?” Grumbot asked, almost bouncing up and down.

Grian laughed and nodded. “Yeah, we'll have to test them out, but there's no reason we can't. It will take a while.” He warned Grumbot “And I will test out the wings first when we think they're ready.”

He saw Grumbot take a breath, to say something when Grian continued. “I haven't tested these designs yet. I would rather, if something goes wrong, to have me gone for a couple days respawning, and you safe, instead of you-” Grian couldn't even finish the sentence before he had to take a deep breath before the tears started coming. “Instead of you getting hurt.” He ended quietly, putting his hand on Grumbots shoulder. Grumbot looked down for a moment, before looking up at Grian with sadness.

“I understand Dad, but please don't get hurt, Don’t d-die and have to respawn, I don't know what I'd tell Jrumbot.”

Grian looked at him and smiled sadly. “I wasn't planning on dying anytime soon kid. Let's start figuring out what we need to get for the wings, yeah?” Grumbot nodded excitedly, and bolted for the metals cabinet. Grian laughed as he followed along.

--------

Grian Yawned and stretched out his arms. They were all sitting in front of a fireplace, enjoying tea and Jrumbot was cuddling with Maui.

The good feeling couldn't last forever though, because eventually Jrumbot looked up and over at Grian. “Dad,” He started “Why haven't we seen Papa?”

Grian froze for a second before closing his eyes. He didnt wanna talk about this to them, he didn't want to hurt them.

“Dad?” Grumbot questioned, seeing his Dad freeze up and look on the verge of tears.

Grian sighed and rubbed his face. “Both of you come here.” He murmured finally, patting the couch he was sitting on either side of him.

Grumbot and Jrumbot quickly came over to sit beside him, and Grian put both his arms on their shoulders.

Grian took a deep breath. “You have not seen mumbo, and have not been able to explore outside of my mansion area, for a couple reasons. One of these is that I'm not too sure how mobs will react to you, and How you'd react with being hurt by a mob. The other,...” Grian took a deep breath, and closed his eyes, letting his chin drop to his chest. “The other,” Grian continued, “Is because I'm not too sure of how the other Hermits would react to you.” He finally looked up and saw both of them staring at him in confusion. Grian tried to explain. “I'm one of the only ones who have experience with actually aware AI’s, I believe, and when some people are scared of something, they decide that they should hurt it before it hurts them.” He took another deep breath and looked into Grumbot and Jrumbots eyes, one after the other. “I do not believe that many of the Hermits would react this way, but I don't know exactly how they would react, and I don't want them to hurt you, either unknowingly or not.”

He saw Grumbots eyes widen and Jrumbots eyes narrow slightly. “I understand that reasoning dad,” Jrumbot started “But why haven't we seen papa?”

Grian sighed again. “Do you two remember yesterday morning, when I came back early and stayed on the roof for a bit?” they both nodded and Grian continued. “I did that, because Mum- Papa, upset me with his words.” He said, before taking a pause. He didn't look at either of his boys, but rather the ceiling as he said “He made some not nice jokes about Grumbot. Both of you must know however,” Grian started saying immediately when they both froze “That Mumbo doesn't know much about Aware AI’s. He believed Grumbot was an unaware aware AI, and that he was killed when he broke down. He did not know you had actual feelings, instead of manufactured ones. Mumbo often has issues figuring out other people's emotions, and most of the time redstone doesn't have emotions. Mumbo doesn't know about you two, and you haven't seen him,” Grian was starting to slow as he tried to find the words he needed. “Because, Because I am afraid. He murmured quietly. I am afraid he will unwittingly hurt you with his words, and I didnt want that to happen before you were aware it could happen. I'm sorry I kept this from you, but I wasn't aware of how to say it, or if you were ready for it, and decided to let one of you bring the topic up.”

There was silence for a moment before both of his boys hugged him. “I understand Dad,” Grumbot murmured into his shirt. “You didn't want us to get hurt, but thank you for telling us now.” Jrumbot nodded in agreement and Grian let out a wet laugh. Sounding on the edge of tears he said “What did I ever do without you boys?”

Grumbot pulled away and giggled as he said “Forgot about eating dinner.”

Grian paused before letting out a loud laugh which made Grumbot and Jrumbot start giggling.

“I can't say you're wrong.” Grian laughed, running a hand through his hair.

Grian then yawned, and stood up to stretch. “However nice this bonding session has been.” Grian started, turning toward his boys. “I believe it is bedtime. No buts!” he smiled at them as he said that, both of them having opened their mouths to deny it. It is nighttime, and very dark, and both of you need sleep.”

“Will you read to me dad,” Jrumbot murmured, fidgeting on the couch.

Grian smiled at him. “Of course, you only need ask.” He smirked at Jrumbot before saying “However, the first one to get to your room gets to pick the book, and oh look, Grumbots already at the hallway-” Jrumbot shrieked out a laugh as a sudden race took place in the hallway, and Grian smiled as he tidied the place up, talking the mugs to the kitchen to wash tomorrow.

He then walked to the boys bedroom, to find Jrumbot pouting as Grumbot sat on his bed.

“What will the story be?” Grian asked them, and Grumbot smiled before saying, “what about the one about the Dragons saving the world?”

Jrumbot glanced up with wide eyes and Grian grinned. Even though Grumbot had obviously won, he had also chosen his brother's favorite book to read.

Grian walked over to the bookshelf and found the book, “A Warrior's Tail” before walking to Jrumbots bed. He started reading to them, and within the third chapter, they were both asleep.

Grian smiled and leaned over both of them to kiss their foreheads, before whispering ‘night’ and leaving the room. He walked toward his own bedroom and climbed into bed. Grian looked at the ceiling and felt Maui joined him, purring as he curled up around Grians head. He reached up to scratch Maui under the chin, before yawning and turning off his lamp.

That talk was one he had been dreading, and it went over quite well. Grians last thought before sleeping was ‘Maybe I should introduce them to another Hermit.’

-----------

For whatever reason, Autocorrect really hates all names. Anyways, I know who the Hermit is, But do any of you? I want to see who you think the hermit is!

Also, if you liked this story, please comment! I loved reading all of your comments on the last one! They helped me make this chapter as quick as possible! (I may also be procrastinating on other stories with a Grumbot Fix-it Fic but, oh well)

#grian #hermitcraft #Grumbot #Jrumbot #hermitcraft season 7 #Mumbo Jumbo #I love this family so much #The best family is a man and his 2 robot sons #I hope i made it clear how much Grian loves his boys #and how much he doesnt want to see them hurt #>:)#robodad Grian Au

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riofann · 4 years

Text

Meet The Parents

GIF by: @leelakoiwolff

A/N: Part of The Spooky Series

Warnings: some violence, cursing, mentions of smut, 18+ crowd

Things between you and your boyfriend Oscar were not going so great. The honeymoon phase was over and now it just seemed like all you two did was argue over dumb shit. You actually hadn’t talked or texted him in over a week after your last blow up, both of you had too much pride to back down. However today was ‘Santos Day’ and there was going to be a big party at Spooky’s house. All the Santos would be in attendance.

You and Letti had decided to bake a cake in celebration

“What type of cake should we bake?” she asked

“We should make it like the Santos sign, the cross and all”

“Oh yea! We should, good idea!”

You both rush to the grocery store to grab all the ingredients you simply didn’t have enough at home.

“How are things between you and Spook?” Letti asked

You shrug “I don’t know haven’t heard from him”

“Well hopefully with ‘Santos Day’ being today it will break the ice and we can double date again!” She was Sad Eyes' girlfriend. Very sweet young lady cared for Sad Eyes and Santos like they were her family.

“Yea...” you said agreeing but deep down you weren’t so sure. The argument you had was so stupid you couldn’t even remember how it started, but it did, and one thing led to another which resulted in Oscar grabbing his things and leaving slamming your condo door behind him.

~~~~As the time approaches you both get ready. You didn’t put much effort into your outfit, black jeans white top, and converse, you weren’t planning on staying anyway. You had a back up plan texting your cousin Sasha earlier in the day making plans to hang out with her and her boo. Even if it was third wheeling, you’re positive it would be better than having to pretend all was okay between you and Oscar.

As you both arrive there are cars all over the street so finding parking was quite difficult. You had to walk a bit before you got to the house carrying cake in hand.

“HHHEEEYYY!” Letti greets as she enters “Look what we brought!”

“Damn thats a cake?” Cesar asked

“Yup we made it for ‘Santos Day’”

“Damn!”

“Yo Spook!” Lucky one of his men called him to “Get in here!”

Oscar slowly rose from his chair in the back of the house and walked in

“Look at the cake!” Lucky speaks to him pulling him in the direction of the cake

(A/N:The cake is a replica of Cesar’s back tattoo, with cupcakes spelling out Happy Santos Day)

“We made you a cake for ‘Santos Day’!” Letti says exited

“Hope you like it!” you added

“Looks good, before we eat it call everybody into the house” Oscar said

You stood next to Letti and watched him give a speech, thanking The Santos for being his make up family and watching over his little brother Cesar. Afterwards it took you and Letti some time to cut and distribute either cupcakes or cake pieces to everyone, by the time you were done both Oscar and Sad Eyes had migrated back to their chairs in the back of the house and were just relaxing listening to conversations. Letti left to be by Sad Eyes before you did. You were doing a little bit more cleaning there were beer bottles and cans everywhere, red solo cups all over. You just wanted the place to be a little bit neater.

When you step out to find the crew there's a couple girls sitting close to Oscar, flirting with him this was normal you had gotten used to it by now.

All the ‘important’ Santos sat in the circle, as you approached the group a few attempted to offer you their seat but you declined and made your way to Oscar.

You bent over next to him putting your hand on his shoulder. “Hey!” he gave you that notorious mug and you quickly removed your arm, so much for breaking the ice he was still mad at you, “I'm gonna go, I’ll see you later okay?” He didn't respond, just give you a look you couldn’t read besides anger and irritation. “bye babe” you say before kissing his cheek

“Bye guys Happy ‘Santos Day’ drink up be merry yea?” you speak to the group

“Where you going?” Letti asked

“Yea what's up with that?” Sad Eyes chimed in

“Come on you can’t leave” someone else spoke up

“Sorry guys, my cousin Sasha and I made plans. I'll see you guys later.” you wave goodbye and quickly make your way down the driveway. Everyone knew there was bad blood between you two but nobody knew exactly what.

All eyes turned back to Oscar, who you feel boring a hole into your back

“Watch out” Letti said to Sad Eyes as she stood from his lap. “Y/N!” she called to you by this time you were walking down the street to your car. When she caught up you were wiping away your tears

“Yea!”

“You can’t leave, talk to him”

“I’m tired of being the one who always surrenders Aletticia!” you vent

“Y/N come on you guys are good together”

“Maybe we aren't suppo...”

Before you can finish Oscar had caught up with you two and was standing a few feet back “What’chu guys talking about?”

You turned to look the other way while wiping away your tears

“Nothing Spooky we’ll be in soon” Letti answers

“I gotta go” you say hugging Letti “I’ll talk to you later”

“Vamos” Oscar called tilting his head backwards

Letti begun to walk towards him

“Not’chu,” he points at you “You, Y/N vamos” “Oscar I have...” you protest

He interrupts once again “Cancel them” he said stepping closer

“Fine” you said walking towards your boyfriend, you had given up and you knew if you made this an issue things might get worse

“AAAYYEE you came back!” Sad Eyes celebrates

“Have a seat” Oscar says to you as you approach his chair

“Yea!” you say forcing a smile

You text your cousin canceling movie night plans it worked out for her anyway, she was getting hot and heavy with her boo thing.

When Oscar returns he has another beer bottle in hand and a red solo cup “Here” he said handing you the drink. “Taste it” He knew beer wasn’t your thing, you hated it, you would rather go for the liquor.

You take a sip and smile. He made it just how you like, sweet. “It's good thanks”

He pulls you to stand up before sitting down on the chair and pulling you on his lap. He adjusts a bit and you sit still, your back is straight up you haven’t relaxed into him yet, your body is tense against his.

“You comfy?” he asks close to your ear

“Mhmm” you nod taking a sip

“Ven aquí” he says pulling you closer to him practically forcing you to lay on him wrapping one arm around you resting his hand on your thigh

You don’t make a noise but just sit and sip on your drink. You didn’t do well with confrontation let alone a full blown in your face argument. You always needed verbal confirmation that things were good between you two before you felt at ease again.

Your phone vibrates and it's a text from Letti

Letti: TALK. TO. HIM

You look up at her scolding you. You know Oscar has seen the text because he chuckles out of nowhere.

You sigh and run your fingers through your hair.

“Changed your hair?”

“Yea” you had made it lighter and added a few highlights “you like it?”

“It's cool,” he could care less you could be bald and he would still think you were the baddest in the group “what’chu been up to?”

“Just work” you answer curtly

He nods and takes a pull from his blunt. He blows out the smoke.

Out of nowhere you squeal from the sensation that just hit you causing the group to look at you “Oscar!” You say smiling now trying to get out of his lap, he was pinching your sides knowing they are your ticklish spots

“What?” he asks smiling while he pinches your side again causing you to squeal

“Stop” you squirming around his lap

“Talk to me then, like Letti said”

“About what?” you ask looking in his eyes

“Anything”

“Okay what happened to your hand?” you ask the obvious

“Don’t worry about it”

You shrug “I have no other questions”

“I got a question”

“Okay”

It takes him a moment before he finally speaks “How come i ain’t never met any of your family only your grandma who used to live down the street”

You turn to look at him and hold a puzzling look

“What cat got your tongue?”

“No,” you were putting two and two together “is that why you're mad at me?”

“Answer the question.” he responds calmly before taking another pull from his blunt

“You answer the question!” you could really be difficult to deal with sometimes.

“I mean we been dating what six, seven months you’ve met my entire Santos crew i don’t even know your moms first name”

“I don’t know” you shrug “we have never really talked about it, i didn't think you cared”

“You embarrassed of me or something?” his facial expression changed to a serious one

“No! I am not”

“So whats up then?”

“We literally haven’t talked about meeting my parents i didn't think it mattered but i am not embarrassed of you! Don't think that!”

“So when can i meet them?” he asks challenging you

“Uh” you hesitate before answering “I can text them and find out when would be a good time”

“Do it then”

“Now?”

He nods “Yea”

“Its one in the morning”

“So? When they wake up they’ll see it”

“Okay” you say pulling out your phone and type the message “happy?” you ask showing him the text

He raises his brow and shakes his head looking away

“Hey” you say, making him look at you. “I am not embarrassed of you and I’m sorry if i made you feel that way.”

“It’s cool, give me a kiss”

You leaned in to plant kisses on his lips. You two always did 3 meaningful kisses followed by an eskimo kiss

“There we go there we go!” Baldie, another one of his men, claps “WHOO that’s what we want to see!” You both flick him off before returning to the conversation.

~~~~~A date was finally set for Friday night. Oscar was to pick you up from your condo and you were both to arrive by 7PM.

“Come on Y/N we are late!” he fusses, he was so anal about time

“It’s fine i guarantee you my mom is waiting for me to help her cook”

“Yea but i don't want my first impression to be bad i already got strikes against me”

“Like what?”

He counts on his fingers “Like my tattoos, my occupation, my record”

You shrug “I dont care about those”

“But your parents will”

“Are you dating them or me?” you challenge

“Ay! Esta mujer! Vamos!”

“Okay! okay! im done sheesh!”

You both don't say much during your ride there. Truth be told you were both nervous. When you pull up to the affluent community, Oscar feels his nerves raging he didn’t care about them not liking him but what if they influenced you to feel the same?

He parks the car looking at the houses around him

“DAMN you lived like this?” He asked

“Yea” you shrug it was nothing special to you but for someone who grew up like Oscar it was something

“Ready?” you ask as you hold his hand pulling him towards the house

You open the door and call out, “Mom?” the dogs start barking, two Samoyeds run up, “Hi Tweety, Hi Sylvester, how are you I missed you!” you greet them, Oscar does the same bending down to rub their heads, “Mom? Dad?”

You hear talking further into the house “they must be in the kitchen come on”

You walk through the house and find them deep in conversation, in the kitchen

“Hey mom, hi dad”

“Ahh Y/N you finally made it!” your dad comments he stands up and glances at his watch. Oscar could pinch you right there “right on time!” He walks up and gives you a hug

“Hi sweety” your mom chimes in, giving you a hug too

“Hi mom this is Oscar, my boyfriend, Oscar my mom and dad Jennifer and Nicolas”

“Nice to meet you son, come here” your dad said pulling him in for a hug

“Hi give me a hug too”

“Nice to meet you guys”

“You guys got here right on time, dinner is almost ready! Y/N why don’t you help your mom finish up” he speaks to you before turning to Oscar “let's go for a chat shall we? What's your poison?” your dad asked

“I'm good with anything sir,” this was his first time meeting parents. “Oh no, Call me Nicolas”

The two men walk away and your mom’s smile drops

“Really Y/N?”

“What mom?” you say preparing yourself

“Him? Of all people Him?”

“Yes HIM”

“What about Brett”

“Oh you mean the piece of shit who cheated on me repeatedly?”

She huffed handing you the salad bowl “what do you think is gonna happen, hmm? That you two can live happily ever after?”

“Why can't we live happily in the moment?” you argue

“How long have you been dating?”

“Almost 7 months” you mumble

“7 MONTHS!”

On the patio Oscar and your dad’s head snap at the direction of the scream

“Don’t mind them so tell me about yourself Oscar,” he motions to his cheek indicating the same spot as Oscar’s tattoo “is that tattoo real?”

“Yes”

“Killed someone? That's what that means right?”

Oscar adjusts in his seat “Something like that?” he wasn’t sure how much he should reveal of himself.

“Well did you?”

“No, attempted, self defense” he takes a sip of his whiskey

“When did you get out?”

“Bout a year ago”

Your dad nodded as he analyzed his outfit. You had told Oscar to be his true self and not change a thing, so he was dressed in his Cholo garb

“The other tattoo?” He turns so your dad can see all of it “Santos” “Your gang?”

“Yea”

Your dad adjusts in his seat “So what plans do you have for yourself Oscar? Do you plan on being in a gang your whole life?”

“Honestly?” he was going to reveal his true feelings to another person, that would make two, you and your dad.

“Yea honestly”

“Honestly im kinda tired of it, trying to figure out how to get out but things are kind of complex”

“How’d you get involved?”

Oscar tells him the family history all of it, might as well tell him now and hold nothing back

“Wow i'm sorry to hear that must have been rough”

He shrugs “I made it through”

“How long have you been dating my daughter”

“7 months”

“Wow! She kept you hidden for 7 months, we didn’t even know, as much as she came over we would have never known.”

“Yea it was my idea, for us to meet”

Your dad nodded, “I know you know my concern is my daughter’s safety at all times”

“She's safe with me”

“I don’t question her being safe with you. It's been 7 months and she hasn’t come back with a scratch on her. My concern is how involved she is in your gang life”

“She's not”

“She's not?”

“No she knows what we do but i’ve never asked her to step in and do something on behalf of the gang”

“Okay good because my concern is not so much that you two are dating more or don't throw your life away because of loyalty to..”

Oscar cuts him off knowing where the conversation was going. “I get it. I would never ask her to do that. I actually want my brother to leave the gang life too”

“Well good i’m glad we have an understanding”

“Honey!” your mom calls from the patio door

“Perfect timing again! Come on Oscar let's go eat! I hope you like italian”

They both stood up and begin to walk slowly towards the kitchen

“If you ever need anything, in regards to your exit from your uh ‘club’ let me know and i will see what i can do”

“Thank you, I appreciate that”

“No problem anytime my friend, anytime”

Dinner was awkward between you and your mom. There was a huge argument over you dating Oscar, but otherwise the conversation was kept light. Afterwards you both hang around, allowing mostly your mom to get to know him better before you leave.

You both get in and say nothing for a few minutes until you hit the highway.

“What did you and my dad talk about?” you ask

“Don't worry about it” he says looking over at you flashing a smile

You knew that was good news you didn’t need to know the details

“What was that screaming we heard?” he asks you

“Oh uh my mom was upset that i kept you hidden for almost 7 months”

“Did you tell her it was your fault?”

“YES” you roll your eyes

“What did she say?”

“She wasn’t happy”

“And?” he knew that wasn’t all of it

“And said other things you know typical mom stuff”

“She doesn’t like me huh?” he says knowing the truth you were hiding

“Yet, doesn't like you yet”

Your mind drifts off to the conversation in the kitchen

“7 MONTHS!”

“Mom!” you didn’t want Oscar to hear you two

“What? 7 fucking months you’ve been dating that!....that!...”

“Human being” you cut her off before she said something else more degrading

“Why would you throw your life away?” she now stands across from you

“I am not throwing my life away I still work at the firm, my behavior hasn’t changed, He hasn't asked me to do anything”

“Yet”

“Oh my god of course”

“Yet Y/N! What if you are in danger?” “He will protect me!”

“How? By brandishing a gun and shooting it? Then what about you huh? If you get shot?”

“I won't”

“Yet”

“Mom!”

“Yet Y/N do not mom me! I knew i shouldn’t have allowed you to go visit your grandmother”

“He is not that type of person!”

“YET!”

“Are you serious right now?”

She moves to stand closer to you “Riddle me this. Are you willing to pull out a gun and shoot?”

“IF I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF YES”

“What about him? Huh? Are you willing to shoot someone on his behalf?”

You shrug “Yes why not?”

“So you're just gonna throw your life away like that?”

“Mom, dad has guns, are you telling me if some person came to hurt you guys you wouldn't defend yourself and dad?”

“I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is when you associate yourself with people like him it's hard for society to see your true intentions, you will be reduced to nothing but a gang banger girlfriend.”

“Mom can you give him a chance, please!”

“And he has a teardrop tattoo! So that means he has done time in prison?”

“Yea so what?” you shrug She stood back shocked by your nonchalant attitude“Y/N i honestly don’t know who you are anymore!”

“I was the same daughter who came to visit last week. You didn’t have concerns about my person then!”

“Because you were hiding him from me!”

“Because I knew you would react like this!”

She threw her hands up in frustration “Y/N I can’t do this with you!” “Mom, I don't want to date rich guys. I want to date regular people. All the money we had and i still ended up depressed with anxiety and all the boys and men I have dated they didn't care about me the way he does. So can you please just give him a chance?” you beg

She scoffed “and you think you’re so special huh?” “Yes!”

“I can't believe you. I am very disappointed in you. I raised you better!”

“This is why i kept him a secret”

She scoffs “don’t put this on me!”

“Fine it's my fault i'm a shitty daughter i’m a big disappointment. Sorry i couldn’t find a rich guy to fuck like you did” you argue back

You feel a sting across your face, “typical” you say as you hold your cheek. This was part of the reason you moved out. You two just couldn’t seem to get along.

“You watch your tone!” she threatens now squaring up with you, waving her finger in your face

You take a deep breath and move back “You seem to easily forget where you grew up.” You wipe away the tears. Your voice breaks as you speak “I don’t need your approval. I don't need dad's approval. I really care about him, mother, he makes me happy, he takes care of me, he keeps me safe, isn't that all that matters?”

“What if he gets locked up?”

You shrug “Then he gets locked up!”

“Are you gonna wait 10 years? Waste your life away waiting for some thug to get out of jail before you live life?”

You take in a deep breath before you speak “He wouldn't let me do that. We already discussed this. As soon as he goes to jail we are done. And that's part of the reason why he is trying so hard to NOT go back”

“I don't know what to say”

“Just give him a chance. I tried it your way I really did. But the men of today aren’t like dad, the rich spoiled men aren’t like dad they don’t care and they all treated me like shit. Oscar has never done that to me”

“When all of this comes crashing down don’t ever say, i never warned you”

“That's okay i know dad has my back even though you don’t” you say as you walk away

“Y/N!” she huffed as you walked away.

“Y/N!” Oscar calls your name

“Hmm!?” you say turning to face him He rubs on your thigh “You okay bebita?”

“Mhmm!” you hum taking his hand into yours

“I asked what you want to do? My place or yours?”

You shrug “doesn’t matter to me.”

He nods heading over to your place.

The rest of the night goes smoothly but you can’t seem to get your mind off of the conversation you and your mom had. You don’t really sleep but listen to him snore lightly. Maybe your mom is right. Were you being that naive? It was easier to pretend when your parents didn’t know anything but now it felt like reality was hitting you hard. And you start to remember the run-ins with The Prophets and how things were fine one second and the next it was war. You think about the gun he gifted you to protect yourself, it stayed in the night stand drawer. He has shown you how to shoot it, how to load it, how to clean it, unjam it, all of that. What about your safety? You lived in a condo downtown with parking underneath the building, you started to wonder if he had been followed to your place, What about you? Had you been followed? Do his enemies know where you live? Do they know the car you drive? Should you get another car? What about your job? Your friends? Now your parents. It was all too overwhelming and you didn’t have concrete answers for all it.

When morning arrives you ease your way out of bed careful to not wake him up, you sit in the living room staring at the walls drinking tea, deep in thought. When you hear him wake up you rush to the kitchen pretending to make something for breakfast, so you pull out eggs, bacon, and fruit.

“Morning” he greets you with sleep laced in his voice, you loved his sleepy voice

“Hey good morning”

“Kiss” he states leaning down for your 3 kisses and Eskimo kiss “mmm making me breakfast?”

“Yes!”

He smacks your ass

“Hey!” You say holding onto it

He smirks and you know that look all too well “what if i only want you for breakfast?” he asks picking you up placing you on the counter

“I’m not food”

“Speak for yourself”

You giggle as he bombards your neck and lips with kisses “baabbee” you whine

“Hmm?” he hums paying you no mind, he was preoccupied

“I have to cook”

“My meal is hot and ready” he says cupping your pussy

You erupt in laughter

“No seriously” you say pushing him away

“Why you being stingy?” he pouts playfully

You lean down to kiss his lips “I am not!” “You know i need it at least 3 times a week!”

“You got it 4 times this week” you counter back

“I can’t help myself it's so good, you got me feenin”

“Really Oscar”

“Plus 1 of them was a quickie so it didn’t count”

“You came! So it actually does count”

“Okay how ‘bout we go for the record do it all 7 days?”

You laugh at his proposal, but you’re becoming weak to the temptation, he knows what buttons to push to get you going. The spatula you're holding drops to the floor, a result of you wanting to pull him in closer. He pulls you forward so your bottom half is hanging off the edge, he gently pushes you down on the cold counter. With one swift move he removes your shorts and underwear. You wrap your legs around his body so you don’t feel like you’re going to fall. He rubs up and down your thighs lightly, he knows you're anticipating his next move. You roll your hips against his growing hardness. He reaches down and flicks your clit with this thumb causing you to jolt away from him.

He grabs you holding you in place “don't run, i’m flicking the bean over here”

You can’t help but laugh, sex with him was just as goofy as it was intimate

You watch as he returns his thumb to its place right on your clit and starts rubbing it in circular motions

“I think i’m in love” he comments

“Are you talking to me or it?” you ask now curious

“Shit i don’t know” he answers not looking up at you, he was mesmerized

Before things get going his phone rings he groans in frustration but he is on a mission. It stops ringing and you hear it chiming meaning someone was texting him before it rings again this time you grab his wrist

“It could be important.” It is important, phone calls signaled trouble

“Fuck men i can’t win!” he complains as he walks away from you. He picks up the phone and closes the door. You can’t hear much but after a few minutes he exits fully dressed. Gotta go

“Okay be safe”

“I need my kisses,” he says leaning in to give you a kiss. It didn’t matter how bad things were, he wasn't going to leave without getting his 3 kisses and nose kiss. You two actually argued about it once. He called them his ‘good luck kisses.’

A/N: as always please let me know what you think

#omb #on my block fanfiction #on my block fan #fan fiction #imagine #oscar diaz #spooky diaz #oscar spooky diaz #y/n #writing #writingblr #oscar diaz fan #spooky diaz fan #oscar diaz fan fiction #oscar diaz imagine #spooky imagine

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taehyungsgrowl · 4 years

Text

SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though)

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing 😳and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

#nate #dumb!reader #nate x dumb!reader #duncan x dumb!reader x nate #duncan shepherd

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kim-inlaw · 4 years

Text

Morning anxiety;

Let's be okay talking about how we feel

Description: I had an anxiety attack first thing in the morning. Here's how it went, where it came from and how im dealing with it. Also mentions of the news and how that has impacted me.

⚠️ warning ⚠️ this will be long !! I hope you like stories/conversations.

Woke up this morning with an anxiety attack. When I have anxiety, I tremble and go into very uncontrollable shaking. (I've experienced these also when I'm not anxious, but rarely, since childhood. The teeth chatter, there are random shivers that jerk the body. Having one first thing in the morning is not pleasant, as it led to a pretty bad stomach ache.

I dont really talk about things like this, but I think talking about mental health should be normalized. Its nothing to be embarrassed about, we all have feelings and feel in diff ways.

Anywho, I woke up from a bad dream. It started off bearable (not so bad) and then something happened.

My dream: me and a few others (all women) were together and I believe we were working for this mysterious guy. It gave really dangerous and criminal vibes. I think we were working on an experiment (I was slacking off ofc and like I can barely tell what it was we were supposed to be doing) Next thing I know,, two big guys were chasing us. I think someone got murdered. They were trying to force us back to work and we refused (cause like its criminal or w.e) and as running i passed a room full of people who were also kept in the building against their will. I heard someone running in front of me shout "forget them, keep running"

Not only was the dream so faced paced and scary but i woke up feeling so bad. Not only was I in danger but I couldn't do anything to help others. I couldn't even give it a second thought.

Interpretation:

I feel that my anxiety and worry for the women in mexico and turkey and the black people in america and just all countries are going thru something rn. And its hard to deal with one situation (as I am black and live in America so the blm affects me) but having to think about the situation in mexico or turkey (as I am also a women), its scary. Scary to think that something like that can and is happening. Questioning, why is it happening? Not being able to do as much as i would like to help.

Parts of me just truly wish I could evaporate every ounce of hate and discrimination towards others in the world. Its honestly pointless to live that way. I can go on and on...

Now there's a lot that could be said about my dream. Truth, i was reading the news before bed (not a good idea at all). I saw posts on twitter about whats going on in México and its going on in Turkey (femicide) and idk i didn't go to sleep with such a peace of mind.

At a time like this, not only is being black a crime but so is being a women and its a global issue. Its always been a global issue and yet we have gone so long pretending it's not or ignoring it as its not our problem. Things like this should bother you no matter where you are!

If you can never see yourself in a position like the women in Turkey or Mexico or the black people in America rn, count yourself lucky/blessed/privileged!

Feelings

I woke up feeling unsafe even though I live in a pretty safe city ... well ny is not safe safe but I've been living here all my life so im well adjusted.

My anxiety was through the roof this morning. My heart and support goes out to everyone struggling, not just with their government but also those struggling with their own personal struggles and mental health.

What I'm did and doing now:

1. Youtube: I find that certain music does not help. Im so used to thinking and listening to music so I decided to watch vlogs on YouTube. Ones with less talking and lots of day to day sounds like cooking or cleaning. These sounds are relaxing and it feels less lonely early in the morning.

Youtubers I like:

Korean Vlogs: plan D, hyonyeo, nyangsoop. ( these are what I watch to calm me down)

Motivational/inspiring: Rowena Tsai, Coffee and Cashmere, thesoulsearch (what i watch when I'm low on energy or need to start something)

Fun personalities: Eric nam, Damon Dominique(if u like france, he can show you what it's like to live there), Connor Franta (fun to watch when bored or looking for new interests! They are really funny)

2. Radio show/ talk shows: Currently I catch myself in Korean hip-hop. After watching a Korean vlog and somewhat falling asleep to it, I woke up more by watching a korean radio talk show hosted by woo wonjae, Music High. Woo wonjae is a korean rapper at AOMG (ya kno Jay Park.?.) His voice is really lovely and I love him a lot cause I feel he has come far and continues to do well. I wont go into details but he deals with mental health struggles as well that i have related to.

Talk shows/ radio shows are great cause you're sitting in on a conversation. Sometimes it feels like you're apart of it. Its simple and takes away a lot of thoughts. Also helps when you feel lonely. Theres laughs and music so the overall atmosphere is warm.

Currently:

I'm still in bed, no walk today. Its a bit rainy and misty out but I actually don't mind. It's very refreshing and soothing.

I will have some tea with a muffin soon and enjoy a book.

I wish you to know, you can always share youre feelings with me. Thank you for reading this, if you did. Feel free to like or reblog or comment. Im happy to hear from you ♡

#honeydewnotes #honeydew: day in the life #college student #mental health #self care #honeydew to self #world issues #anxious #anxitey #feelings #feels #long reads #talk to me #lets talk #real talk

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mysmedrabbles · 5 years

Text

Another Place [Yoosung Kim]

from the Fourth Wall breaking series

quote contributors: 2 anons and @thedujifuji (submissions bolded, will not be posting the actual asks)

a/n: welcome back to hell i’ll be your tour guide,, finally posting these after only 19 years!! Hope you guys enjoy!

warnings: big sad

-7th wall mod alex

It was the late night chats that were always the loneliest. Staring up into the bleak cracked ceiling, you traced the shadows cast by the moon outside with your eyes, the empty feeling filling you yet again... a void that demanded to be felt no matter the cost. It was times like these, under the cover of darkness where you were left alone with your thoughts, a yearning so deep you could swear you would unravel, leaving nothing but the shell of the person you once was.

Man this game was fucking you up.

Rolling on your side, you checked you phone, the bright light assaulting your eyes. Able to distinguish the time, you made your way to the Mystic Messenger app. Two minutes to 2 am. Ten minutes until you could sleep.

With the cheery tune of the opening screen, a smile couldn't help but find its way to your face, an almost giddy sensation filling the previous void you’d longed to be filled, an otherworldly feel as you surveyed the winnings of the latest Honey Buddha Chip package on your screen. Not much, but enough for a call perhaps? A call to a certain golden haired boy?

One more minute until the chatroom opened.

Your eyes surveyed the screen yet again, looking for something to do to pass the ever stretching seconds, when the familiar ring of a phone call echoed through your room. A call. From Yoosung. A glitch? Weren’t calls supposed to happen after chatrooms?

Without thinking you pressed answer, the smiling face the blonde avatar bore fading away as the call subtitles took its place.

“Hello?” his voice was higher than usual, almost panicked, and yet you could feel your heart flip in your chest as his voice struck you, a small bit of reality you had left. “Hello?” came Yoosungs voice again, voice cracking near the end. “Damn it, damn it.” you heard him mutter from the other end.

You expected a chatbox to pop up, to respond, but nothing came, nothing but silence as the incoherent muttering came from far away on the other end. You listened intently... would anything happen? What kind of glitch was this?

“Hel-damn it, Seven said this would work- Hello?”

Cheritz? Answer box please??

You heard a deep breath on the other end, and you could almost imagine Yoosung closing his eyes as he calmed himself, one hand gripping the table to keep himself steady as the other held his phone to his ear.

“Hello? I- MC... that’s... thats not your real name is it. I dont know... if you can hear me, I’m praying Seven could do that for me.. I-Mc-” his voice wavered dangerously, trying his best to collect himself before he continued, his voice weaker than before, “If you can hear me... please.. say something-i- let me know you’re there.”

Were you supposed to... answer? It felt silly, replying to the emptiness, saying something that would immediately be swallowed by the dark, but it also felt wrong to sit there doing nothing, waiting vainly for a chat box to appear. Maybe it was a new update.

“...Hello?”

Silence.

Just as you moved to end call, Yoosung spoke again, his voice drawn to a hush, as if he were afraid to break the fine glass line separating the two of your worlds. “You're..you’re real,” he breathed, defenses down as he himself clutched his phone desperately with both hands, pressing the device as close to his ear as he could before continuing, “I thought- that you were just a character on a screen I never- there’s so much I need to tell you, so much that-”

“Yoosung?” was all you could muster, your mind blank at the reality you were facing, until the only thing that could be heard was your heartbeat pounding in your ears, distorting the silence of your room.

“-And I don’t know how much time we- yes?”

There was so much you wanted to say to him...

“Thank you,” you started. Whether this was real or not, you weren’t going to pass up an opportunity to talk to him. The idea that this might have just been another simulation broke your heart, but these were quickly rushed away when you looked down at the continuing phone call, remembering Yoosung on the other end.

His rambling was cut by your thanks, confusing him, it was he who should be thanking you, not the other way around, he started to respond, but you beat him to it, “Yoosung I- in- in you I saw so much of myself; I was,” you took a deep breath before continuing, “so lost, wanting to move forward but so afraid to let go of the past. You showed me,” a crack in your voice as tears threatened to swallow you whole, emotions you hadn’t known you even had rising rapidly to the surface, “You showed me that it's possible to move forward even after you've lost your way. You have helped me and shown me far more kindness than anyone else ever did when I was at my lowest point and because of you I want to be a better per..son with ... every passing day.”

You finished with a flustered breath, heat suddenly rushing to your cheeks as you realized your declaration, completely our of character from your usual stoic self. This was a game. You declared your love to... someone who wasn’t even real. The shame of idiocy spread through your chest the longer he stayed silent, only his own heavy breathing heard on the other end.

Taking a second to bring himself back together, Yoosung tried to ignore the warmth spreading through his body, heart and gut synchronized in a flustered dance, both struggling to keep up with the racing of his mind. It didn’t seem real, that the person he’d inevitably loved- continued to fall in love with day after day, was real, not just a character made up by Seven, a virus in the app.

You heard a small giggle from Yoosung, making your heart soar. You could almost imagine his face, violet eyes shining with the threat of tears, blush adorning a smiling expression as he vainly tried to hide his face in his hands, too embarrassed by the way your words stripped him of rationality, touched him in a way where he’d lost all functionality, enraptured by your voice, by you.

A smile made its way onto your face as you continued, set to get everything you’d wanted to say out in the open, “You’re amazing and I just, I love you so much and I wish, I wish more guys were like you in this world. You’re so, soft, amazing, artistic, and an excellent cook? The omurice will never stop looking delicious.”

To this he finally had a response, “It was! It was delicious! If I send you the recipe will you promise to make it?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll see if I can text it to you! You won't Believe the things I went through to get to this point, good thing it was worth it in the end! Being with you is always worth it..”

He was rambling, and the initial tenseness of the first meet shaken off as his infectious laughter filled the receiver, voice bright with excitement as he went on about the other recipes he tried in his spare time, the ones he’d always wanted to make one day for you... the ones he never could.

His voice started to crack, static becoming more and more prominent as his voice was broken by what? Bad cell service? The fact that you were talking across dimensions?

Yoosung could be heard getting sad, his tone dropping, a melancholic need for you filling his head, suffocating him with thoughts of you. He paused his words, starting anew. “MC I... I’m sorry I think... we’re running out of time but before I go I just... I need to tell you... gah why is this so hard.”

A pause.

“I love you... truly. You showed me kindness when there was no one who believed in me, and it’s because of your love that I’m still alive.. that I have something worth living for. Every time you play my route...” the static got worse, ripping a few words from his sentence, actively trying to separate the two of you as he went on, “...I wish I could protect you forever, make you as happy as you make me.. I wish we had more t- I wish we had more time. There’s so much I want to ask you, so much I’m sure you want to ask. Please, no matter what.. stay happy for me.”

Well...actually.. I do have one serious question for you... Yoosung Kim: does Yoosung Kim is bi?” you chuckled cautiously, a weight lifted as you heard his broken up giggle in response, and for a second you could almost believe that everything would be okay.

The static got louder, cutting in between Yoosung’s words, only fragments of a, “well - lov- ou so,- h-pe s-,” were able to be made, connection weakening, Yoosung’s presence fading away.

Tapping on the phone, where you were praying for some sort of relief, you were only met with a blank screen, his voice gone, leaving a gaping hole where he’d buried himself into your heart.

Gone.

Notice On Server Error Compensation

We have added 50 hourglasses to your account for the glitch caused by server issues. We apologize for the inconvenience.

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inspiringwhilerespiring · 4 years

Text

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :)

Sooo here yall go <3

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

#survey #about me #haylee #thoughts #mine #questions #ask me anything #ask #lets chat #be my frieeennnddd

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in-one-sockk · 5 years

Note

1-150 for the asks :3🦋

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night2. Are you outgoing or shy? - im bipolar3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - my pretty girlfriend on my birthday4. Are you easy to get along with? - I don’t know, find out5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - begrudgingly, she hates vomit6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - butches with nice arms7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - definitely, we’re at six months!8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - Frank Iero9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - the moon11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - “meanie”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Make it Right - BTS, Summertime - MCR, bellyache - Billie Eilish, Dilbar - Neka Kakkar, This Is Home - Cavetown

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - NO I have curly hair and if you touch it or interfere with it it looks like I’ve been dragged through a bush by my ankles14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - I believe in good and bad karma15. What good thing happened this summer? - I met my girlfriend16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - yes17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - I think it’d be pretty egotistical to not18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - nahh19. Do you like bubble baths? - I like them, for like five minutes because I need to wash my hair and they get in the way20. Do you like your neighbors? - my neighbours are scared of sunlight21. What are you bad habits? - pulling away because I think I’m a burden22. Where would you like to travel? - Norway, Japan, places with blue seas and flowers23. Do you have trust issues? - I have a narcissistic mother, so yahh24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - getting into bed25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - my shoulders, they’re broad26. What do you do when you wake up? - die inside 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - neither, I don’t really think about it28. Who are you most comfortable around? - my girlfriend 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - a lot of them, but for manipulative reasons30. Do you ever want to get married? only to @when-youcant-sleepat-night31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yeah but not a cute one32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - Brie Larson (short hair) and Erika Linder 33. Spell your name with your chin - nopee34. Do you play sports? What sports? - I used to be a swimmer, and I did trampolining and high jump, but I haven’t done sports in a while35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - nope, I’m quite blunt37. What do you say during awkward silences? - I’m usually the awkward silent one, unless I’m high energy38. Describe your dream girl? - can cook, nice hands, sweet laugh, fairly tall, short hair, strong, patient, likes cuddles, understanding, pretty masculine energied39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - ASOS Marketplace, thrift shops, Pull&Bear, Urban Outfitters, Run & Fly, Etsy40. What do you want to do after high school? - get married, have kids, be a housewife with a greenhouse and a vegetable garden. Can I do that? Nope. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - No, but context. If your partner hits you do they deserve a second chance? No. But you gotta let people learn and grow from their mistakes?42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - I want attention, I’m sad, scared, suicidal, tired, confused, embarrassed. So really a lot43. Do you smile at strangers? - If I like their energy44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - I love both of these things but am also terRIFIED of both these things45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - a better day might come 46. What are you paranoid about? - money and not having enough47. Have you ever been high? - yeahh48. Have you ever been drunk? - too much49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - yeah but obviously I’m not gonna tell you50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - Green, my favourite51. Ever wished you were someone else? - a lot of the time52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - I’d like to have a skill?hobby I could turn into a career I’d enjoy53. Favourite makeup brand? - I dont really have one, but I’ve used the exact same Rimmel London eyeliner since I was 1154. Favourite store? - Etsy55. Favourite blog? - @malnedott has a lot of cute aesthetics56. Favourite colour? - forest green57. Favourite food? - chilli with lots of sour cream (I dont like spicy food)58. Last thing you ate? - a jelly baby59. First thing you ate this morning? - a jelly baby60. Ever won a competition? For what? - I won a competition last month on “who can use the most words beginning with V and create a story that makes sense” 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - I skipped school for a while when I was depressed62. Been arrested? For what? - nopee63. Ever been in love? - I’m very in love right now64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - I actually can’t remember it..65. Are you hungry right now? - very, but I’m lazy66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - I have no tumblr friends, no one talks to me67. Facebook or Twitter? - neither68. Twitter or Tumblr? - Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? - nope, I’m on Skype70. Names of your bestfriends? - Non, Maya, Calli (my cat)71. Craving something? What? - a cuddle72. What colour are your towels? - I don’t actually own any72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - two!73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - a stuffed unicorn and a blanket my girlfriend gave me74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - seven?75. Favourite animal? - penguin76. What colour is your underwear? - I’m not wearing any 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - sherbet!79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - brown ish red??80. What colour pants? - grey with batman logos81. Favourite tv show? - currently Killing Eve82. Favourite movie? - Mamma Mia 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - we don’t talk about the sequel..84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls (I’ve never seen the other one)85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - Glenn Coco86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - The stingray bus87. First person you talked to today? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night88. Last person you talked to today? - my little sister89. Name a person you hate? - Gauge…. my old supervisor at work90. Name a person you love? - my little sister91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - Eden (my sisters ex who left her suicidal)92. In a fight with someone? - sort of.. a non-resolved ignoring of each other and93. How many sweatpants do you have? - one I think94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - 495. Last movie you watched? - Jennifer’s Body96. Favourite actress? - Jodie Comer97. Favourite actor? - Rami Malek98. Do you tan a lot? - never99. Have any pets? - two cats and one spawn of satan with a cat face100. How are you feeling? - kinda empty rn101. Do you type fast? - when I’m high energy, but am I skilled at it? nope102. Do you regret anything from your past? - dating that teacher that one time103. Can you spell well? - awkwardly, I can spell complicated words really well, but basic words where multiple of the same letters are next to each other are evil, like, I always think there’s two F’s in professor or one D in address 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - my old best friend I guess sometimes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - no but I’d love to!106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - my mothers maybe107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes and they’re evil creatures108. What should you be doing? - homework109. Is something irritating you right now? - having to go cook110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yes, my girlfriend before we got together111. Do you have trust issues? - isnt this repeated?112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - my girlfriend113. What was your childhood nickname? - Fifi Forget me not114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes!115. Do you play the Wii? - yes, and hugely beat @when-youcant-sleepat-night at Mario Karts116. Are you listening to music right now? - my sister’s bath music from the next room117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - I’ve never had it 118. Do you like Chinese food? - not really119. Favourite book? - The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier120. Are you afraid of the dark? - yes..121. Are you mean? - sometimes 122. Is cheating ever okay? - NEVER, especially when you’re Russian and pretend you’re a nice person and constantly talk about how cheating is never okay desPITE doing it to every girlfriend you’ve had123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - no, my converse are basically grey124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - i dont know125. Do you believe in true love? - thoroughly126. Are you currently bored? - a little127. What makes you happy? - flowers128. Would you change your name? - yes, for varying reasons. I dont like mine much, and to hide from some bad people129. What your zodiac sign? - gemini130. Do you like subway? - the food? not really131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - bluntly make it clear I’m gay132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - I think this is repeated too133. Favourite lyrics right now? - “I wanna build a place in you, where I can be made new”134. Can you count to one million? - probably not135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - “Of course I know what I’m doing”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - my bedroom door closed, wardrobe open137. How tall are you? - 176cm138. Curly or Straight hair? - I have curly hair, but straight hair requires a lot less effort and upkeep139. Brunette or Blonde? - ginger140. Summer or Winter? - autumn141. Night or Day? - night142. Favourite month? - August143. Are you a vegetarian? - no, but I can’t be in my current living situation144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - none145. Tea or Coffee? - tea, black and cold146. Was today a good day? - no, all the customers decided to buy huge amounts as the store closed. If you do this, you are the worst kind of person and yes, we all thoroughly hate you147. Mars or Snickers? - neither148. What’s your favourite quote? - “They tell you to do your own thing but they don’t mean it. They don’t want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too.”149. Do you believe in ghosts? - no but I believe in bad energies150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? - Lateness fucking noticed, loser bitch

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the-fiction-witch · 6 years

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Remember Me P3

REAL LIFE: COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUT + DARKNESS

REQUESTED:

isabellabrodar: Definitely part 3!!! I am so confused!!

unlikelysunny: Please

lauragarfitt: Please do part 3

Imyourmessyouremycure: Part 3, it can’t end like this

Y/N POV:

I woke, It was still dark, the sun only just rising above the trees in the park outside the window,

“I told you to stop coming around here”

“Let me see her”

“No, I told you before get out!”

“Let me see her Please, she’s all I have please just let me see her”

“she’s safe here with me”

“No she is not! shes safe at home, with me”

“what is all this? why does it? your... You fucking BASTARD!”

“hey calm the fuck down!”

“YOU BASTARD! Let me see her let me see my wife!”

“shes not your wife anymore! shes forgotten who you are”

“Her condition...gives you no right to take advantage off her!”

“Im not taking advantage of her!”

“Ohh your not! look at everything you’ve done to her, she’s living in a dream a memory your ticking her into believing!”

“Im not tricking her into anything! that fact she choose to stay with me means m not lieing to her Im not tricking her”

“BECAUSE YOUR KEEPING HER A FUCKING PRISONER!......she needs to come home, just please let me see her, maybe she’ll remember me, she needs to come home thomas, to be with her family, to be with me, to be on her Real medication, you cant keep her like this”

“Why not! I love her more then you ever did! I care for her Im here when she needs me”

“I made a mistake that night, that doesn't give you the right to drug my wife off her head so much she forgets who she even is”

“I was the one who was there...I was the one sat by her bed for months! I was there when she almost died night after fucking night! I was there when she woke up! and where the hell where you! off with that bitch of a mistress of yours, when she woke up she saw me, and knew I was the one taking care of her, that door is always unlocked from the inside, if she wants out, she can go whenever she wants”

“but she wont! not with you drugging her up every night and day! and tricking her brain, look at this, all of it, your doing it to force her into believing your her husband and you’ve always been with her, drugging her off her face and sleeping with her!”

“I am not!”

“Oh yeah! explain the condoms then! your obviously having sex with her! in her condition! she doesn't even know who she is half the time let alone who you are! your just drugging her up and raping her!”

“I am not!, I’ve never done anything to her that she hasnt let me do”

“was she awake?....answer the fucking question thomas!”

“None of your fucking business what i do with my Wife!”

“Your wife! you stole her-”

“I didnt steal anything!”

“No...your right you didnt steal her, you kidnapped her, and your keeping her a slave to your own ends, you let her come home else Im getting the police involved”

I then heard a slam who where those people that where arguing? who was this girl they where so angry about? was ? was that me? thomas? was that my thomas? and who was the other man? the one sending me messages? was he the man who kept coming to the door? I laid back down in bed and pretended to be asleep as a door opened and i felt a hand soothing me

“Hey, your not up yet are you sweetheart?...humm good, didnt want you to hear any of that” and I felt a little kiss on my cheek “umm sleepy girl today, thats good, get your rest little girl, daddy just needs a little fun before he gets back to sleep, okay” it seemed like thomas’ voice I think i wasn't to sure without seeing his face as hands moved my body a little hands ghosting my skin “humm better not be leaving any of these lying around...im sure we can go without, if I knock you up maybe we can pretend it was from before your little...accident” He smirks before I felt something enter my pussy fingers it hurt a little as something was being placed it quickly left and something else pushed inside “Uhh Oh yeah.... umm its tighter tonight sweetheart... I like it” he smirked as he slowly but surely fucked me it wasnt long until he was finished inside me “Ummm good girl, humm such sweet forbidden fruit, i cant help myself” He smirked kissing the exterior of my pussy till he laid down in bed with me “your my wife, and I love you very very much sweetheart, no need to fear he’ll give up soon enough, then it will be just you and me my love” he smirked kissing me before he turned away to sleep ...

I woke to the soft sounds of food cooking in the kitchen so I got up slipping on my dressing gown and slippers and going out into the flat all the same all memories I recall a little bit but cant really place

“aww good morning sweetheart” thomas smiled at me coming over and giving me a tight cuddle “you alright?” he asks and I just nod “good” he smiled kissing me “dont you remember what today is sweetheart?” he asks

“No?” I answer very puzzled

“aww really? you dont remember?” he asked and i just hake my head “its your birthday silly” he laughed giving me a little kiss “breakfast is cooking go on go have fun with your presents” he told me so I smiled giving him a little kiss before i sat at the sofa the table had a lot of little things on, dresses, and jewelry all manner of lovely things once I had opened them all I turned on the tv and watched a little of the news

“and returning to our top story this Thursday morning, Police are now live issuing a statement on the accident” the reporter explained

“We beg for anyone to come forward with information on her whereabouts, after much investigation of the crime scene it was found she did not escape alone, nurses are still baffled by her disappearance her husband William aster is still leading the search with police to find her, the facts of the case are simple, after visiting a coffee shop with an unknown man on oxford street she processed outside onto the road where she was stuck by a on cumming bus, after being admitted to hospital she staied in a drug induced coma for six weeks after awakening the room was broken up and she disappeared, Police are looking for a man they believe may have broken her out of hospital, and some theorize it may be the same man she met the day of the accident, we urge anyone with knollegge of him or Mrs-” she explained but the tv was shut off

“Thomas! I was watching that!” I complain

“come on breakfast” He told me

“yay!” i giggle running and hugging him “Umm I love you” i giggle

“aww sweetheart, I love you too” he smiled giving me a little kiss “Come on breakfast” he told me so i happily sat down to breakfast eating it fairly fast “so...what does my sweetheart want to get up to today?” He asks me

“Maybe we could go out? for dinner or something” I suggest

“Maybe, might be a bit pricey you know what restaurants down here are like, how about a big fast food run then we go down the lake okay?” he suggests

“yay! can we go swimming?” I ask

“If you like to” he shrugs so I happily get up going and backing a bag, a nice swimsuit come clean clothes a towel, some a little blanket for us to sit on and got changed into my nice little dress

“Thomas?” i ask him

“yeah ?” he asks from his bath

“wheres my phone?” i ask him

“Your what?” he asks very worried I heard him get out and he came around into our room in just a towel

“My phone, I see yours? wheres mine?” I ask him

“Sweetheart it got broken in the accident remember” he told me

“Ohh...why didnt I get a new one?” I ask

“because, phones are expensive honey, in a few weeks okay, I’ll get you a new one I promise” He told me giving me a kiss

“Okay” i smile hugging him tightly “Come on I wanna go down the lake” I giggle

“Okay okay, let me get some pants on sweetheart” He laughs

KNOCK KNOCK!

“You stay here” He told me as he put some clothes on and went out into the flat half shutting the bedroom door i head the door open but it was silent I went outside and Thomas was gone I began to panic where is he? where did he go? as the door was forced open and a scruffy man was stood there it wasn't Thomas is was some strange man

“Oh thank god Darling” He smiled trying to hold me but I screamed and pushed him away “Darling? dont you remember me?” he asked

“THOMAS! I scream

“I told you to get out of my house!” Thomas shouted pulling the man away from me “what the hell do you think your doing!” he shouted holding me close to him as i cried in fear

“Maggie? darling please why cant you remember me?” this man asked

“Will I told you to get out!” Thomas told him

“Fine, but I know shes here and within the hour the police will too” the man told him before leaving

“We have to go” Thomas told me

“what?” i ask

“we have to go!” he answered rushing to our bedroom and throwing everything he could into suitcases

“Thomas whats going on?” I ask him

“Please y/n listen to me, that man is trying to hurt you, if you just trust me and do as I say i promise nothing bad will happen to you again” he told me

“again?” I ask

“Y/n please, just trust me” he pleaded

Part 4?

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exoticcal · 7 years

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1-150 on the get to know you ask......I DARE YOU

Challenge accepted. 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My friend, whos a dude, only cause we was crying together lol2. Are you outgoing or shy? Even though it seems like I'm 'outgoing', I'm really shy.3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? I don't really have many friends so... no one?4. Are you easy to get along with? If you're an asshole, no I'm the worst to get along with. If you're just kind and respond to me, I'm pretty easy to get along with lol.5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Since I really don't have a crush on anyone atm, no?6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Nice people who arent cocky and aren't mean to family (depends lol), animals or kids lol?7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Probably not, knowing myself.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Ben Cook9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends. I can talk about it online easily, in person I can talk about it but it overwhelms me quicker 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My dude friend from the first question 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? "Dont lol itll be fine"12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? I cant pick aaaahhhh13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? YES OH MY GOSH14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Kinda?15. What good thing happened this summer? I lived in Hawaii for a month!!16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I've never been kissed soooo17. Do you think there is life on other planets? YES.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? My first crush dates back to 1st grade, I've moved away since then so no.19. Do you like bubble baths? L O V E20. Do you like your neighbors? In my dorm, HELL NAH. In my home home? Eh. I love my neighbors across the street cause they're too nice to us and bring us tamales and blueberries because we lend them our lawn mower 21. What are you bad habits? I chew the insides of my cheeks and my lips, I ruin the cuffs of crewnecks, I tap my foot often22. Where would you like to travel? I'd love to go back to Hawaii tbh23. Do you have trust issues? Yes.24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Sleeping25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My body26. What do you do when you wake up? Go on my phone27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? lighter so my expensive foundation will match28. Who are you most comfortable around? I don't even know anymore29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? I've never been in a relationship.30. Do you ever want to get married? Yess31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? hahahaha no32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? No comment.33. Spell your name with your chin. ashlynn ----- oh shit whaddup boi i got skilll34. Do you play sports? What sports? Played sports. Basketbacl for 6 years and volleyball for 3.35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? ALL. THE. TIME.37. What do you say during awkward silences? "weeeelll then," or "anyyywayyy"38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Don't really have one tbh39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, Rue 21, H&M 40. What do you want to do after high school? I'm in college lol,,,, Act.41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends tbh42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I'm usually quiet, but extremely? I'm sad, mentally beating myself up or something43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes!!!44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Bottom of ocean 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Hunger46. What are you paranoid about? Every. Thing. (((Hi im constantly paranoid about anything and everything!!1!)47. Have you ever been high? Yes.48. Have you ever been drunk? Tipsy.49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No?50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black51. Ever wished you were someone else? All the time.52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Everytime.53. Favourite makeup brand? Benefit or ABH orrrr NYX54. Favourite store? Target55. Favourite blog? I love all the blogs I follow.56. Favourite colour? Lavender 57. Favourite food? Sushi58. Last thing you ate? KitKat59. First thing you ate this morning? A chocolate peppermint muffin top from DB60. Ever won a competition? For what? Nooope61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I'm a child of god62. Been arrested? For what? Nooo63. Ever been in love? Noope64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Never been kissed65. Are you hungry right now? Of course66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I love them all equally.67. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope,,, I'm watching youtube?70. Names of your bestfriends? Court, Vero and Mads (alll nicknames lol)71. Craving something? What? That sweet sweet NUT(ty buddy)72. What colour are your towels? They're all different colors72. How many pillows do you sleep with? A big body pillow and then one normal pillow73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? A little hedgehog named Douglas74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Over 5 (packed away)75. Favourite animal? Panda or fox76. What colour is your underwear? baby blue, coral and white77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie Dough or strawberry cheesecake79. What colour shirt are you wearing? White long sleeved turtleneck with mistletoes scattered all over. 80. What colour pants? blue jean81. Favourite tv show? Don't have any82. Favourite movie? Pitch Perfect movies83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? OG Mean Girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21JS85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Janis86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The one who screams bubbles87. First person you talked to today? My brother88. Last person you talked to today? Probs my dad89. Name a person you hate? I don't hate anyone----- DONALD TRUMP90. Name a person you love? My momma91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? DONALD TRUMP92. In a fight with someone? No?93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2.94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? too many95. Last movie you watched? Newsies96. Favourite actress? Oh fuk,,, I really like A.J Cook for TV. Then for theatre I genuinely love Rachel Bay Jones 97. Favourite actor? Soft spot for Tom Holland and all the ST boys98. Do you tan a lot? Rarely.99. Have any pets? yes, 3. All dogs.100. How are you feeling? Eh.101. Do you type fast? I guess.102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes. Everything103. Can you spell well? Sometimes104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes.105. Ever been to a bonfire party? I wish106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Don't know107. Have you ever been on a horse? No.108. What should you be doing? Sleeping maybe lol109. Is something irritating you right now? My hip.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Fuck,,,, yeah111. Do you have trust issues? this was already asked, but yes.112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? The dude from question number 1 113. What was your childhood nickname? Ash or ashiipooh114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes.115. Do you play the Wii? Nope.116. Are you listening to music right now? Nah,,117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I don't eat meat.118. Do you like Chinese food? I'm a pescatarian so the seafood option chinese food i love119. Favourite book? Milk and Honey120. Are you afraid of the dark? No.121. Are you mean? Sometimes122. Is cheating ever okay? Hell. No.123. Can you keep white shoes clean? hahaha no124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no idea tbh125. Do you believe in true love? I'd like to.126. Are you currently bored? Yeah.127. What makes you happy? Acting128. Would you change your name? No.129. What your zodiac sign? Aries130. Do you like subway? Use to.131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Yikes lol stay friends132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Same dude from #1133. Favourite lyrics right now? Dont have any134. Can you count to one million? Yeah?135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i don't remember136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed137. How tall are you? 5'4''138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavey139. Brunette or Blonde? Blonde140. Summer or Winter? Winter141. Night or Day? Night142. Favourite month? April143. Are you a vegetarian? Technically yeah cause fish options arent always avaliable.144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark145. Tea or Coffee? Sweeet coffee146. Was today a good day? I guess147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers148. What’s your favourite quote? Don't have any149. Do you believe in ghosts? Eh.150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Literally no books are in site.

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dreamynightmare11 · 7 years

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I tried reposting it but couldn't add my reply to it so bada boom here it is. (Jus give it a like if you do see this so that I know you've read it..)

Hey Ty. It’s completely fine that you don’t talk to me or that we don’t talk anymore. There are a few people here on Tumblr who I clicked with because I found them to be nice, supportive and non-judgemental. And real. And honest about their issues.

About the support I give you, I give it because I know you deserve it and I know that your existence, your body doesn’t need any sort of hatred or negative energy by you. NO one’s body deserves that negativity. But I do understand that it’s not your fault. It’s just situations that happened in your life who are causing you to feel hurt and feel pain. And you know what? That’s fine. Feeling pain makes us human. As does crying. Feeling jealous. Getting frustrated. Just like laughing and smiling and hugging and cuddling and trusting people makes us human, feeling hurt makes us feel human too.

One thing I want to remind you is that I swear man, your worth is so much more than you think it is.

Your VALUE doesn’t decrease because of someone’s inability to see it. NOBODY’s value ever decreases because the people in their life are unable to see and acknowledge it. And I do know that relationships are supposed to be two-way but maybe, just maybe, those people have their own issues too. Their problems. Their breakdowns. And no I’m not writing this to say that your issues are smaller than theirs. Because we all got our own issues. Do you remember how in the past, someone once told you how much you’re worth to them, how much they appreciate your existence? I’m not trying to dig up past memories here, sorry if I do that. But what I’m saying is that IF you were worth anything in your past, then you are worth something today too. And you will always be worth something whether you’re a 6 year old kid or a 12yo kid or a 17 year old guy or a 22 year old guy or a 40 year old man going fishing and having the time of his life. So if you were worth anything years ago, then you’re worth something today. If you weren’t worth anything in the past, then people wouldn’t have invested their time and energy and patience and happiness ON you or WITH you. But see, they fvcking did. They did it because you fvcking deserve it, you deserve it just like every other person out there trying to navigate through life. Shit just happens sometimes.

It’s okay to be struggling and it’s okay to relapse. I’m sorry you had a year full of such crap. I’m sorry you lost friends, but don’t say that that includes me too because haha no that wouldn’t include me. One day you will understand why you had to fight so hard. The bad part is that I don’t know whether that one day will be this year, or next, or after 10 years. I ain’t no prediction person or astrologer. But trust me Tyler, one day you’ll look back and you’ll understand why you had to go through all the shit and pain you had to go through as a youngster. Andd you’re worth every ounce of effort other people put in you.

I just want to request you to try *not* solidifying yourself into loneliness. It’s in those dark times when the demon attacks our mind, steals our life away in front of our eyes and before you know it, all the effort and times you survived are suddenly worth nothing because then we have no one to communicate too. No one to talk to. The thing is that at some point, everyone is going to hurt us, Ty. We just have to find the ones worth suffering for. You maybe haven’t found this person yet, and it’s fine coz I mean you’re just 22 and you have so much more to live for. Unexpected turns and plot twists in life. But I think one way to release the hurt is by releasing people. The ones who truly touched your heart or caused you pain. Sure sometimes we’re unable to forget our past but sometimes we just need to release the burden of holding it in our heart. We might have to release people, events and things that happened in the past. Otherwise we remain stuck, sometimes forever but we can’t always move on without at least releasing something. Or maybe, release yourself. I mean emotionally & mentally, no physical context. You're like a Kintsugi, like so many other people. I wont define it, you can google it to see what I mean.

So I understand it’s hard. Very hard if you’re unwilling to do the following. But please, just please just try to start communicating with all the people in your direct environment. Maybe you will feel that your words don’t make sense but this time it’s *not* about your words, it’s about all the little efforts you put into start communicating with people around you. Now, you don’t need to be fake enough to go around and make jokes to your cousins if you don’t feel like doing that.

But let’s say, your mom/aunt/uncle wants to get the car’s gas filled? Maybe ask them if you can do it for them if they’re busy or have other stuff to do. That way, at least you won’t have an idle mind for destructive thoughts to breed in. Maybe if your cousin is studying a subject which u used to like in school, ask her what topic she’s in.

Where do you usually stay when you exclude yourself to loneliness? Are you in that place right now as u read this? Like RIGHT NOW? Well then, is it possible for you to leave it and maybe go somewhere else? Are people in your house watching TV rn? Excellent, u can try going there and joining them. You don’t need to talk if u dont want to. Just stay there and watch whatever’s on the TV, it’ll help u distract yourself. Maybe go get yourself a cup of water if someone’s in the kitchen. Are they cooking? Maybe u can ask them if they need your help with cooking. Just small random comments.

Then you can start saying longer sentences. You can listen to other people in your house talking about something and if someone makes a joke, then u can laugh. If someone is arguing about something, then innocently ask why they think that way about whatever they’re arguing about.

And one more thing which I think might really help you. I know that you might not have a stable relationship with your mom. But do you love her? Do you love her for giving you everything that you have and for raising you as a strong single mom? Do you, from your heart, hold love for her? If she’s living with you, then try finding a time when she’s alone. Not around people. Then go to her. Knock at the door and ask her if u can come in, because you want to talk about something important. Then go in and tell her to sit on the bed because you want to talk to her. You too sit, with some distance between you and her. Prepare yourself that *whatever* happens, you’re gonna talk to her about your REAL feelings and tell her what you think is going on in your life. Tell her that you want to apologise. You want to apologise for cutting communication with her for so long. Apologise for never telling her your real feelings and for not being open with her. THEN, tell her the reason behind it. Tell her how you actually feel about yourself. Tell her how u hate feeling vulnerable, and how you feel unable to go talk to people. Tell her how you sometimes feel like the words you say don’t make enough sense to other people so THAT’s why you have been excluding yourself from everything. Look into her eyes, not angrily but just expecting her to absorb whatever u say. Tell her that you want to try being open now and you need her help. Tell her that from today, you’ll remind her everyday that you love her and you want to request her to remind you too that she loves you. Tell her that you want to rebuild the mother-son relationship there is between you and her. Tell her that sometimes you might accidentally fall back, and to forgive you for that. Tell her how she herself makes you feel, not angrily but rawly, understandingly. With your true raw feelings, without hiding anything. Be raw, as if you’re just tired of all the crap and now you want to start loving again.

Not just to her, but slowly do it to everyone else in your family, to the ones you *do* love. Can be your cousin, nephew, uncle, aunt, and maybe.. maybe Kailey too? I dont know. And from now on, IF it’s possible for you, try not to shut people out. Especially when they come to you or communicate with u in anyway.

I’m not telling u to smile and be energetic again and full of life. But slowly, try investing time and patience and love in your relationships. Because though my 16-year-old self is quite inexperienced in this stuff, I think talking it out is one of the best ways to slowly solve things out. It’s gonna take time but just try telling your loved ones that you do love them from your heart. It’s gonna take time because it might just turn out to be a nice slow permanent change in life. And if you fail, bother not. You can give yourself some time and then start again.

Btw you don’t need to reply to this too, forreal u don’t need to. Jus maybe give it a like or something so at least I know you’ve seen it, that’s it. Hope I helped, best of luck for the journey

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ineedtoescape11 · 7 years

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You know how much I’ve cried over the things you’ve done. You know the number of times The old insecurities were dug up with my random constant need for affirmation that you loved me and that I would be your only one that that things like that wouldn’t happen again. I made sure I told you each time how affected I was. You’ve watched me have a panic Attack right in front of you at that CC because you were hiding secrets from me and hiding your phone from me like you didn’t trust me. You know I’ve got crippling anxiety but each time you did something bad you didn’t stop to think how would she feel if she knew I was doing this and hiding it from her? And when I raise up the matter of how your actions hurt me, you turned me into the bad guy. You call me self centered. When I calmly told you that I didn't appreciate smth you did or said you always said "you make me feel like shit" and proceed to be angry with me and guilt trip me. That was always your favourite line after hurting me and I calmly voiced out. "You made me feel like shit". That sentence still hurts. After so many times. But did you stop to think that your actions may have made me feel like shit in the first place but I was trying to be calm and rational and tactful in the way I put it. You’ve called me so many bad things but I told myself you’re working on your anger and you will be better soon. I've got anger issues. Such bad anger issues but have you seen me snap at you? The only time I recall intentionally snapping at you was because you told me only I could calm your anger by being stronger and more aggressive than your anger. Of which you got angry at me for doing what you told me to do. You Liken me to the people you hate in your life over and over again. And yet I stayed on and at one point of time I wasn’t even entitled to my own emotions. I stayed on and I loved you. I healed on my own without talking to anybody, without talking to you too much about the hurt I felt cause each time I thought you realised and I knew you would get angry with me for feeling hurt. They weren’t minor events. Yet you treated them like they were while I sat here crying my eyes out until I sleep. You say that in your anger you just want to hurt me. You personally told me that before. You see your phone light up with my name calling you repeatedly, desperately but in your anger, you see my name and you harshly reject calls. You ignored all my calls and all my messages and left me to wither in my own anxiety for one entire day once, for a mistake I never even made. It wasn’t my fault. I cried myself to sleep and went to my attachment where I sat in a toilet cubicle and sobbed alone for 20min. I nearly collapsed twice in front of patients because of the emotional and physical exhaustion. And then you casually appear pretending like you didn’t reject all my calls and all my pleas for a response because I was worried for you. I remember telling you all of this while I was on the train back from attachment when you suddenly decided to reappear. The green line. While I was struggling to stay afloat, you went to a carnival at work and took photos on motorbikes and played games. I’ve gone to work after a night of sobbing because you snapped at me with such puffy eyes that everyone at work asked me what’s wrong. Little things like when my mum cooked pork for lunch on the day we were supposed to meet, you choose to just cancel our meetup just like that. I don't understand. Why couldn't we still spend time regardless? Because we couldn't kiss? We could have still chilled and spent time and talked and laughed. But whenever you have beef you continue with the plans to meet when if it was me, it would be immediately cancelled. You ask if you could just brush your teeth and kiss me but when I showed discomfort towards the idea, you got angry with me. Heck you didn't even want to see me when I ate pork for lunch but you still want to try and kiss me after having beef. I don't think you remember this but early in our relationship, you told me that you wouldn't mind going catholic and we could both go catholic together so religion is less of a problem. You told me I could have a lovely church wedding with loved ones and I could get a grand white gown that I felt like a princess in and we would read each other our vows to which you proceeded to make up funny retarded ones on the spot and I laughed so much reading them. I started thinking of names for you for baptism and I thought of ignatius for you and you cringed so bad and you judged my choice of name so bad and we laughed so much that night. Abruptly without telling me, you scrapped the plan. When I brought it up you were shocked. You said you love your religion and you didn't want to go catholic. I was taken aback. Then why did we paint such a pretty picture? But I respected that. I urged you to go for your prayers when you didn't want to for some reason or another. I encouraged you to grow in your faith. We were supposed to have that mutual respect for each others religions. One day you told me you actually do want me to convert sooner or later. And when I was shocked and I asked about the mutual respect, you got upset with me. You insisted you could hope and what was wrong with that. I said nothing was wrong with hoping but I just wanted you to respect my decision and stance. We knew our relationship needed compromise and understanding. You decided without consulting me that the children are going to be of your religion. Insisted on it in fact. I repeatedly expressed my fears and discomfort of being the only one not of that religion in the house but you kept insisting everything would be fine. Where was my say? I was already failing to get you to do your daiIy prayers and getting you to pray every Friday. I was failing at getting you to stop smoking, stop drinking. Heck you drink more Than I do. I supported you to be strong in your faith because you said that was what you wanted but then you acted differently. I cried in the middle of the club because I couldn't get you to stay with me, to dance with me, to show me affection. I watched you walk up to girls and dance with them. It wasn't just dance battles. Lone girls that were dancing. You walked away from me and went to them and danced. I felt you push me away about thrice saying "no no I have A Girlfriend" after I had my body against yours for quite some time. I told you I was your Girlfriend and you doubted me. When you were with me you just wanted to touch me all over. You were supposed to protect me in the club. You were supposed to have a fun night dancing and partying with me. You were supposed to take care of me. Me and our Friend had to drag you everywhere and after a while I just stood in the middle of the club and cried and gave up trying to get you to spend time with me. I watched you turn from the strong, independent, in control, responsible young man to someone who couldn’t be bothered to take care of his finances or his health, someone who regularly abandoned his squad for Dota, the squad that he worked so hard to get and that he vowed to love and raise to be fine young men. I made more than 10 fitness plans for you. You didn't listen to or try any of them. I was supposed to help you manage your finances but then you proceed to hiding your finances from me yet expecting me to help you manage them. When I got frustrated, I was in the wrong. When I just said it’s your choice and you know what you’re doing, I’m also wrong. I treasured you. I loved you. I babied you. Maybe I was in the wrong to get into a relationship when I couldn't give you a good one. I always feared that was going to be the case. No dating proper, no uploading photos and videos everywhere. I couldn't provide. Maybe that's why you strayed. I'm thankful you helped me thru a tough time, made me smile so much, made me feel safe, taught me how to love so wholeheartedly, helped build me up. But somewhere along the way, things changed. I kept trying to get you up on your feet. To build your self esteem again. Making you exercise, sending you good morning mini essays to make sure you started your day smiling. How often did you return those good morning wholehearted messages? When I tell you I miss waking up to proper good morning messages, you did them for a couple of days then gave up again. Then you just stopped with the good mornings even tho you're always awake before me. Just waiting for me to do It. You know it meant a lot to me. Why couldn't you give me a loving good morning message? It takes just a minute. You were running out of money, you weren't eating proper, you always got angry because of those two reasons but you didn't want to get a job even tho you told me you'd work at the zoo after you ORD. Another empty promise. For the next one out there to win over his heart, he's a loving soul. Really. I really hope you'll open your heart again. But please, treat yourself well, don't make her worry. Exercise and get the blood pumping, you'll fall sick less and you will be happier and less groggy and tired. Eat well. You're a big boy and I know you can take care of yourself :) she will take care of you too but you need to take care of yourself first okay? Treat her like how you would want your daughters to be treated. Place her over video games. She can bring you further than those games can. Dont let her feel like a game is more important than her. Don't spend on those games, save the money for the future you'll have together. Stay as retarded as you are, you're funny, she'll love it. When you guys are debating, open your mind, see things from more than one perspective. Yours is valid but so is hers. Don't invalidate her thoughts or her feelings, be open minded and the Two of you will be incredibly happy and you'll spur each other on to be better. Treat her and her body with respect, love her heart the most. Respect her decisions and understand where she's coming from as you always did with mine. It's something I really appreciated :) don't ever make her fight for your attention with other people or other stuff. Enjoy your own life and your own time with friends and yes the occasional game and your movies, I know you love them :) it's important to have a balance! If you're angry, just call for a timeout, tell her you need a bit of time and when both of you have cooled off, you can talk things through rationally. Trust me, it'll mean the world to her :) don't abruptly disappear okay, it'll make her worried sick and possibly even angrier. Don't let each other sleep angry. Always make up before sleeping and remind each other that even if you're angry, you love each other. It's okay to love someone yet be angry with them. So Long as the matter is resolved and there is understanding of what happened and what can be done next time. He loves when he can Lay his head on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat, it calms him. Just hold him tight and don't say a word. He loves gifts. Receiving gifts is his love language. So surprise him with little things now and then. He's a sucker for star wars and panda bears, they're his Favourite. When he's sad, remind him that he can get a nice juicy steak at the supermarket. With some fancy cheese and maybe Some keropok. It's his happy food. And sparkling juice in those wine bottles. Remember those. He's very very ticklish and as much as he squirms whenever you Try, just have a tickle war with him now and then, you'll see him laugh his head off and he'll smile :) don't lick him and touch him tho, it's funny but he doesn't like it. Encourage him to study and read and let him tell you stories of whatever he just learnt, he's a great story teller when it comes to these things and you'll learn so much, trust me. Write him letters. So that when you have to go overseas or smth he'll always have that piece of you to return to. Hold his hand proud. He likes kisses more than hugs so shower him with them, especially little kisses all over his face. You'll see how much he loves it. Most of the time he likes to nua in bed so if you Two do get the chance, enjoy the nua time with him :) Encourage him to go out with his friends, sometimes he can be a bit stubborn but that's where you have to be even more stubborn. He may not want to but when he's with them watching movies and eating and talking cock, he'll have fun :) he's terrified of roller coasters though, don't make him go for too many or else he'll get nauseous. He loves walking so go on walking dates with him. Places with a beautiful skyline! His weakness. Baby him now and then. He needs some time to let his guard down and to just rest from life. Babying him and holding him will definitely help. He will send you lots and lots of songs, listen to them. They tell you things that he wants to say to you. Sometimes you have to hold him back when there's a crying baby on the bus or the train HAHA Theres so many things about him but that's for you to find out. Find someone who can guide you spiritually, I know it'll mean so so much to you. Take some time to sit in the masjid and just be at peace. Spend hours there. It used to calm you so much. Sketch again!! Your sketches are beautiful and you used to love spending time on them cause painting was expensive. Find your drive and your motivation again!! But make sure you're doing this for yourself. Not for anybody else. Because you deserve the drive in life. It pushes you further and further. Be the responsible young man I know you are :) stand strong in due time, find the drive you once had and take care of yourself. That's the most important. If we don't take care of our own selves then who will? So many things I always wished I could tell you. But I couldn't. Because I started living in fear of when you would get angry at me again. Fear of when would I catch you doing things secretly again. Fear of promises not coming through. Fear of my inadequacies that push you to be secretive. Fear of the paranoia I felt that I shouldn't be feeling in a relationship. So much fear. Me living in fear is not good for me, neither is it good or fair for you. You threaten to talk about me in a poor light. To constantly remind me that I walked away. But I stayed. I stayed and I stayed. But you kept walking away. You kept hurting me, knowing what I felt. Intentional or not, ignorance or not, whatever happened happened. And I am entitled to what I feel. I hope one day you'll understand. Trust me it's hard on me. So so hard. It was the first time I trusted a man with my heart. The first time I let my guard down so much with a male figure. So many memories. So much emotions. I invested my whole self into this relationship. I was prepared to deal with being beaten up, thrown out and disowned. Being hunted down and possible hurt by your side. Because I deserved happiness and that was you. I envisioned a future together. But with everything that's happened, I couldn't. And I'm sorry. I need to take care of myself. I can't keep hurting emotionally and physically anymore. So no, it wasn't easy to just walk away. I didn't just walk away. You're a precious boy and I hope you find the same spark as you once had. Open your heart and be open minded. I'm not perfect. I'm broken and crazy. But there's someone else who's going to be out there. Open your heart and open your mind. Build yourself and love yourself. We are both growing and learning. I am genuinely sorry for all the times I've fucked up or broken you or hurt you throughout the course of our relationship. I was trying my very best, I swear I was but I'm bound to fuck up and I apologise sincerely and wholeheartedly.

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kizhavvorsa · 8 years

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All 150 questions you Lil shit 😌😂

Wait, these are actually hella cute questions.— This is so goddamn rude @comicbooksftw

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? — My new cat definitely counts lmao2. Are you outgoing or shy?— I’d like to think I’m outgoing3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?— No one I guess?4. Are you easy to get along with?— I definitely am, as long as you don’t have shit opinions on serious things or things I’m passionate about5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?— My girlfriend would lol6. What kind of people are you attracted to?— People that understand me7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?— I definitely will be lmao8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?— My older brother9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?— I’m literally the first person to talk about sex. Like even when I was a virgin I was still comfortable talking about it. I’ve never grown up/been taught/societies ideals made me ashamed of the action or to talk about it10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?— I don’t even remember11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?— It was a blue love heart to bae if that counts12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?— Top 5 songs Disturbed’s album13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?— Depends if I want to be touched14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?— Luck yes Miracles no15. What good thing happened this summer? — It’s not summer yet lmao16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? — I can’t remember who I last kissed ngl17. Do you think there is life on other planets?— Probably yeah18. Do you still talk to your first crush? — How am i supposed to remember lmao19. Do you like bubble baths?— Yes20. Do you like your neighbors?— Fuck no they’re so loud21. What are you bad habits?— I chew the inside of my cheek a lot22. Where would you like to travel?— America mostly to see family23. Do you have trust issues?— Yep, relationships,friendships,family you name it24. Favorite part of your daily routine?— Brushing my teeth? Is that weird lol25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? — My back and arms probably26. What do you do when you wake up?— check me phone27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?— Darker28. Who are you most comfortable around?— Myself? Lol29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?— Nope30. Do you ever want to get married?— One day31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? — Yes32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?— There’s too many to list or choose from dds33. Spell your name with your chin.— derfdlld- That was interesting 34. Do you play sports? What sports?— Nope35. Would you rather live without TV or music? — Music36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?— Yes37. What do you say during awkward silences?— Nothing I just let it be awkward and let my mind go elsewhere38. Describe your dream girl/guy?— Being there for me, Listening to me, not making my life more difficult, chill, easy and not difficult, someone i can get along with etc, fit in with my family. All that jazz39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?— Waterstones, The range (mostly the art sections)40. What do you want to do after high school?— I wanted to go to university and here I am41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?— Depends what they do but with me I tend not to give them no matter what and I’ll give them out if the person is actually truly sorry for whatever caused me not to give them another one42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?— I’m in my own thoughts43. Do you smile at strangers?— I actually do44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?— Outer Space fuck yeah45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?— I have to brush my teeth and freshen up lol46. What are you paranoid about?— Wasting my time on people47. Have you ever been high?— Yes48. Have you ever been drunk?— Yes49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?— Nothing 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?— Black51. Ever wished you were someone else?— Of course52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?— Not having shit mental health53. Favourite makeup brand?— Revolution, for my skin type its hard to find things my colour and not dry out my skin 54. Favourite store?— Shopping wise probably primark or something55. Favourite blog?— I dont really have just one lmao56. Favourite colour?— ATM it’s black57. Favourite food? — Anything my mom cooks58. Last thing you ate?— My mom cooked this pork thing and rice lmao59. First thing you ate this morning?— I didn’t eat in the morning60. Ever won a competition? For what?— I can’t remember lmao61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?— I think I got suspended for telling my teacher to fuck off woops62. Been arrested? For what?— Nope63. Ever been in love? — Twice yeah64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?— One of my old primary school friends lmao65. Are you hungry right now?— Nope66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?— I value both equally67. Facebook or Twitter?— FB68. Twitter or Tumblr? — Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?— Yes70. Names of your bestfriends? — Nicole, Amber, Shanice, Italia, Laura71. Craving something? What?— Nope72. What colour are your towels?— Burgundy 72. How many pillows do you sleep with?— Two73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?— No but I do have Barry 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?— At least 30 at my home in Brum75. Favourite animal?— Jaguar or snake (Black mamba) 76. What colour is your underwear? — Black and white77. Chocolate or Vanilla?— Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?— I dont like ice cream79. What colour shirt are you wearing?— Black80. What colour pants?— Black81. Favourite tv show?— Ru Paul’s Dragrace82. Favourite movie?— Taken83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? — Mean girls (2 is ew, such disrespect)84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?— Just kill me ffs85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?— Gretchen86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?— Crush87. First person you talked to today? — My nephew Dylan88. Last person you talked to today?— My lil brother Reece89. Name a person you hate?— I don’t really hate anyone90. Name a person you love?— My mom91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?— Donald Trump? Lol92. In a fight with someone?— Nope93. How many sweatpants do you have?— Two94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?— Ermm maybe 4???95. Last movie you watched?— I don’t remember lmao96. Favourite actress?— Emilia Clarke of course97. Favourite actor?— Mads Mikkelsen 98. Do you tan a lot?— No99. Have any pets?— Yes two cats100. How are you feeling? — Tired101. Do you type fast?— Yes102. Do you regret anything from your past?— Yes103. Can you spell well?— When I’m not sleepy yes lol104. Do you miss anyone from your past?— Sometimes105. Ever been to a bonfire party?— Yes106. Ever broken someone’s heart?— IDK107. Have you ever been on a horse?— Nope108. What should you be doing?— Sleeping109. Is something irritating you right now?— Nope110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?— Yes111. Do you have trust issues?— I’ll never not have trust issues112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?— I don’t remember113. What was your childhood nickname?— DeeRelly burger (But ‘burgah’ cus we’re brummies lmao)114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?— Yep115. Do you play the Wii?— Yes 116. Are you listening to music right now?— Nope117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?— Yes118. Do you like Chinese food?— Of course omg119. Favourite book?— Me before You120. Are you afraid of the dark?— Sometimes, if my mind is really active121. Are you mean?— Yes122. Is cheating ever okay?— Fuck no.123. Can you keep white shoes clean?— Yes124. Do you believe in love at first sight?— Nope125. Do you believe in true love?— Not really126. Are you currently bored?— Nope127. What makes you happy?— Painting128. Would you change your name?— Nope129. What your zodiac sign?— Pisces130. Do you like subway?— Yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?— Talk to them about it132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?— IDK133. Favourite lyrics right now? — This is go time, this is showtime, we will fight ‘til their wills are broken134. Can you count to one million? — I’d definitely lose where I am from like 20135. Dumbest lie you ever told? — I don’t really know lmao, If I did tell one then I’ve forgotten it136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? — Close omg137. How tall are you? — 5′9138. Curly or Straight hair? — Curly139. Brunette or Blonde? — Brunette140. Summer or Winter? — SUMMER141. Night or Day? — Night142. Favourite month? — May143. Are you a vegetarian? — No but I will be eventually144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? — Dark as long as its bournville 145. Tea or Coffee? — Tea146. Was today a good day? — It was meh147. Mars or Snickers? — Snickers148. What’s your favourite quote? — “Push yourself. Don’t Settle. Just live well. Just LIVE.” 149. Do you believe in ghosts? — Yep150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? — I dont have any reading books in my room rn omg

#comicbooksftw #outofdragons #munstuff #shes so rude guys #peety level1000 #because i sent her the same thing

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chaoscrystals · 7 years

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Every note in my phone 19

Maybe I can speed up the present. All I can think about is how I'm going to dominate the art world. I guess that's kind of fucked up? I feel dizzy and like my blood sugar is low. My body must look so disgusting I'm always burping. I must be disgusting that's why Ariel never hits me up All I can think about is how I want an art empire that is accessible to people of all races and social classes And how I want this sandwich I'm about to go eat. I'm so much fatter than I was when I was 18 that's why Ariel never hits me up anymore!!! :(__(_((((( It's really not worth beating myself up over. Pretty sure I got a yeast infection from fucking him anyway. * Why does my back hurt so much why does everything hurt why is life pain. when have I gotten to the point where I can hold all my pain and all my ecstasy at the same time, for one moment and then the moment ends and I'm back on the train again trying to make time go faster. If I was decaying I would look like black and pus and torn flesh, strips of flesh covering what once was my body. She killed me and left me in the woods to die. Put me in the back of her trunk. Headlights were right blue. Righteous and it was..she thought it was good. I wasn't either dissatisfied, but isn't dying to hurt and be sad? I could spit black tar right here and people would probably just turn away in disgust, I could vomit up maggots, yeah girl its the same as it is for you too. I don't want you anymore he always wanted me. I'm taking you with me. Now we are dead. It came to me in a flash I had a divine vision. Of music. And being alone. * The boy means everything to me I got him in the corner of my sleeve, oh the bend of my elbow i lean on the table looking over at you I see the empty glass it magnifies you I'm ready I'm ready we're starting again, you're starting to break my heart again * Male exclusivity needs to die. Some men really can't be around women if they aren't fucking someone it seems. Ugh. Get away from me. Wake the fuck up. Sorry that everyone made us think that our bodies alone are sexual and need to be covered. I do so many non sexual things with my body. Americans can tend to being lethargic. I'm so angry * Im all caught in vines . sleeping time leaks the day its dripping in green and surrounding me. Phonetically speaking I think your words have more meaning than you realize Pick it up again inspired by my friends and I'm feeling feeling so good. Pack up your bags and take a vacation take yourself to rockaway * There's nothing special about me I bet you could compare me to any other girl in the world and id seem just the same, got a pretty face and her head isn't too bad either. And if you asked me today id say I don't think nothing special about me neither but id tell you what I know, that I'm the girl who would love you the most. * The praise on the water sought after colorful lights and pure tones Praise phoning in for a second chance in glasses cracked in the pavement red warring the light and wearing it as a disguise, praise be had, our Lord has grown old * Y stomach is too full its so full but I'm hungry and I don't have the energy to digest. I never needed to eat that much * So excited to be your own boss until the app doesn't give you work!! I'm gonna stop acting like I'm not doing things for a reaction or to make people think something of me. I am. Including playing music I am almost to the point where I dont have near anxiety attacks from eating around people. Proud of myself Taking kindness at surface level only is probably not going to cause any progress. Take all of me, baby. Even if I'm mean from time to time. I'm not okay with people's boundaries being broken in a monogamous relationship. But I don't really believe in monogamous relationships. Maybe I'm just cynical but it seems like there are too many rules. Or maybe it's all a ploy to lure guys in because they'll think I'm easygoing but I'm not I want to tell everyone every single one of my thoughts that sounds like a fun game * Jonathan is on my mind I've always had a craving for a good hearted musician and someone who will counter my unbalance, prince charming rides in on a horse, who brought the horse into the street who's mans is that? Are they getting with the plan do they understand or do you only like me because i have connections to new dimensions * I'm in love with nothing This haunting feeling Like I know what comes next I'm in love with nothing There's a hole in my heart when its growing apart it gets darker and smaller and I'm falling in love with you again * It isn't fair he will never hear me. He will never see me or understand me, when the mere sight of him sends me spinning away from anything easy to feel, I'm feeling so dreary one second and the next I got jets on my feet, flying over the moon cause I'm so in love with you * I just enjoy Jonathan is my whole heart!! One day he will know * Songs to write out Gracias a la vida Stormy weather Good morning heartache Lover man where can you be April in Paris * I want to tell people how hard my life is! * My song for you This is my song for you I like everything you do When I see you its like a cool breeze graced me with unending presently waiting pleasant and unchanging you seem stable to me, and I even like you when you're rocky. I like the lyrics I like the melody, you're like music, lets make a baby And live together In the city and very far. We can have two houses and even a car This is my song for you I like everything you do When I realized it was you Wrap it in red and a bow, kiss my head, after your show I know I can be a hard one to break, I've heard all these stories of heart break, what do I choose, what to listen, use or lose. But I know when I'm with you my dreams start coming true * Deep desires Understand the universe. Have someone accompany me in my sadness and despair. I want to come back together I want to feel enlightened I want everyone to feel goddamned enlightened I'm definitely willing to open up portals make everyone realize we are collectively manifesting our reality I want everyone in new York city to know my name nova luz, the body inhabited by us. She needs a companion. Lets get her a partner or two. * How do i really feel about the boys that I think I love? My Spanish tongue isn't too sharp....I wish...shit man, you just have to try harder to get it right. Laser mind. Not tonight. Michael is the name of an angel and no matter how hard I try or how much I'm thinking about Jonathan I still wonder about Michael and we spent more time together than Jonathan and I ever have. Fuck me. What are either of them up to? Why do neither of them talk to me. Haven't seen either one in weeks. I think I feel like I'm attached or in love. No matter how hard I try to forget...not trying hard enough you stupid fucking cunt! You're so fucking weak nova!. I wish someone knew how much I fucking hate myself sometimes I don't get why I just internalize this and nobody can ever know and its always a dead end fall off a cliff and snap your spine on the rocks before you drown and are pummeled by the waterfall FUCK. I think about them every day I wish I had a boyfriend, but malificence red lipped and hooded with festering infections on her skin, she's standing in the way, she's guarding the little red dog in my heart, the little puppy with forgetful parents, crying and underfed in an alley way alone, you only care about the way it looks. The loving puppy. Loving little dog I love you so much I love you no matter what even if you took a knife to my throat severed my veins and rendered my body a corpse I would still love you. Shit man that's fucking intense. That's a part of me that needs some help. The unconditionally loving part.....have I been deceived? I feel as though she has been deceived, and people always want to exploit her loving nature. This is the world I live in today. What if I wake up tomorrow on another planet? Is my boyfriend going to be there? If it was a planet with fruit orchards brightly colored things little houses and healthy atmosphere I would be down. Since I'm making it up, my boyfriend is there too. He loves me and we only need each other. I love him so much it fills me with fullness and vibrancy. He loves me so much. We spend most of our time together enjoying the planet, and sometimes we cook a big feast together for our friends and they come over and we all play music and drink wine * I guess now is an appropriate time to work on my issues with jealousy right? Actually...maybe ill wait What if it was a giant poetic metaphor? Green goop spilling from my heart and getting stuck in my pelvis..melting out of my pelvis out onto the floor. My physical my non physical. Non psychic but spiritual. Elephants from India are a shymbol for wealthy. And poor. Bread. Winning. Happy family. Sad family. Bread. Okay Maybe now I can work on my massive jealousy issues. Okay I'm going to start by listing scenarios that make me jealous Any female speaks to a boy that I like (level 10 code red situation) Someone's life looks shinier than mine Julia's in middle eastern vogue My friends have things that I want Other people have things that I want Other peoples bands are playing at cooler venues I am literally not a musician my name is Harriet and I never leave my apartment. Yo these sensory hallucinations are too much sometimes. That was a side note. I think my biggest issue is that when I am into someone in a romantic way, I get really upset when I see them talking to like, anyone of the opposite sex. Or of the same sex with Ursula. Or when someone is skinnier than me. Sometimes I get jealous cause of that which is not allowed because I am not allowed to have an eating disorder. Why is Julia getting so much attention while simultaneously being underweight and anorexic??? Noooo oh my god is she okay? Is everyone else okay?? Why is that allowed are you people fucking retarded? I can't do these things without having a million other thoughts. But I'm breaking the surface which is something. This is a deep fear for me I don't intend to leave unchecked. * I want somebody to love. I think writing all this sad lonely poetry can't be helping kts hard not to hate yourself sometimes. I wish someone was reading this. I really want a boyfriend so badly but I'm resisting it because in want it to be Jonathan so I'm waiting for him and ignoring everyone else.that's scary I don't know where he's at. He never talks to me. I want to smash glass bottles over his head for being so detached Fuck you!!! He never talks to him I mean me but I think about him pretty much every day.this hurts Why am I being like this? Lately everything I do is to get his attention. I want to cry. I hardly get any attention from him this is ripping me up inside.I just keep these fantasies in my head and I fall in love with them but it's an illusion I'm in love with an illusion. This hurts my chest. All I want is his attention and he isn't giving me any!!! I should turn around and walk the other way but I know I wont because I'm still in my fantasies that we are the same and that he gets weird crazy visions as well and that I was a part of his. I think I'm going to be wrong. My heart.. * I'm hitting the resin in my pipe again. And writing semi cohesive notes about my feelings. Am I using boys as a distraction from my problems? Why do I always want someone to hear the most insecure parts of me....I always always share my deep insecurities, like, first before we even get to know each other. What a weird kind of flirting style that's so weirded out by myself. Like, why? Do I not realize that most people are too in denial to accept insecurities in someone else? Especially in a package as cute as a nova. I have some pretty great ideas in my head..heart..butt..whatever...all of me......... Dot dot dot * Feeling A poem by nova luz palaquibay brener Written in September of 2017 I can feel everything. Mannequin pussy is famous they were in new York Times and rolling stone and a bunch of other big name publications. In happy for them. Not like when Julia's thing got famous. Even though I didn't spend a ton of time with any of these people, they changed my life. I still feel a little intimidated by that world, by the professional world and its cutthroat attitude. I don't really like it or want to participate. I just wanna have a nice apartment with a nice boy and wake up at 7 am every day. I still want to play rock music Its fun Mannequin pussy has that song where Marissa goes "I'm feeling it all I gotta get home I gotta get up" I'm feeling it all I'm feeling it all I just want to share a room with a nice boy and Rowan can come too And we can have small shows where we support each other for the things we love about each other and we still love each other when the other one is being an asshole. I don't like thinking of myself in a negative way. It feels bad. I'm very childish. I'm insecure that the things I do aren't big enough. That's stupid. I'm mad at my mom for always acting like everything was a huge deal. Like, nothing was ever just chill and normal everything was something. I'm childish inside * September 7 2017 Dear j boxer, There are actually several thousand things I would like to be saying to you, but I don't want to overwhelm you and lose you. Oh my god. You make me so nervous. Did you realize?at flowers for all occasions. I have never been more stressed out at a show in my life. I was hyper focused on what you might be thinking of me. I want to pour out all the imbalance I feel and you can watch it run down into the drains Yes I still think about that. And don't think that the only side of me is erratic and unbalanced and bad, everyone has so many sides. I know you think the way i play is interesting. I know I can play well. I feel like I am everything when I think about you. I think about you every day. Would you still love me when I am nervous and insecure? Love me like this or you'll never love me at all, you can only leave me if you don't love me like this, my all. My heart. Sometimes I get chest pains What do you think about me? My dream partner is someone I can put together shows with. but not ordinary shows. I don't know. But it would be something. I can envision my dream partner: active, healthy, compassionate, loving, open, creative, enjoys sex, kisses my neck. Is it fair to tell you this? Am I asking too many questions? Is it fair that I want to tell you all this but we haven't exchanged a single word in weeks? I can't explain it, its a feeling in my body, it feels so electrifying I don't ever want to stop. I'm sorry I have to test you so much. I can't help it. I think I'm like that with everyone. I wonder what you are doing now? If I said I wasn't feeling good would you sit with me in the park and put your arm on my shoulders? Even when my eyes are puffy and dry? * I don't know there's a vacuum in my heart and silver worms that live inside the vacuum, ever present resilient love the lasting energy in my blood, that they feed off of. Freed some space for their babies I know it couldn't be any other way, but sometimes I resent my mother for leading me to believe this. Because my religion is based in pain, my suffering will cleanse my sins and if you don't know then you must be unclean, I got to tell you how I see it. Everyone is looking at me Cause there's maggots in my heart, I can feel them squirming around, I can feel the top shell of muscle straining to get ahead of them to get on top of them, maggots squirming around in my heart, eating my muscles. My mind is unfocused. All I can see is misery. But its okay. The lord wants me to be this way. With a red-skinned entity hanging onto my shoulders and telling me "no, don't go there, you dog". Maggots in my heart. Maggots eating my heart * September 8 2017 Dear Jonathan Hi, how are you? Its been a couple of weeks since we last met. I am pretty much still the same. Hopefully I'm going to get a job teaching kids! Maybe one day you will fall in love with me. What have you been thinking of since I last saw you?do you want to tell me? Do you think about me? Do you want to hold hands? Can I kiss you in the dark on the street? Can I kiss you in front of people? I'm trying really hard not to take things too fast. Part of me really believes you and I are the same person. I really like how you make me feel..I always think about what it would be like to fuck you again. I really want to. I think I will. But there's one thing I'm wondering. Like what kind of relationship do you want? Do you like the idea of having me around or is this like "ill see you when I see you" No it can't just be fine I have insane feelings about you I need to know. I can be fine with what you want..I just want to know I'm not gonna hurt myself falling for you when I don't need to. If I'm just living on the promise of what I think you and I could be, I need to know if I'm right, right? Oh shit this doesn't sound good I'm spiraling into a panic. Oh god. Just tell me if you want to be with me!! Sorry I kind of get these intense insecurities. Then I like to wallow in them. Love me? Hah. To not end this letter on a sad desperate note, I will say the following: I like how you look I think you are very handsome, I like how you sing and play even when you lose your focus you sound amazing to me, I want to kiss you all over be naked with you and have my chest against yours, and feel your arms. I hope you don't mind me saying I love you and that I have a lot of love for you in my heart because I am insatiably attracted to you, and I also think you are kind but distant, and I think you are very loving and radical in your ideology, but you aren't annoying and liberal and show-offy about it. I like how much you know about music and music history, I think you are really smart. I want to kiss you all over. I feel so passionate when I think about you. It feels like you live in my heart and that's why I love you. I really really want to tell you. I don't know what could happen I just need to fuck you. I want you so badly, body and soul and mind. * August 9 Honey I want to marry you I love your sweet and bitter tastes Even on your sour days You make me believe That all my desires can be mine And I know my heart is true When I'm near you Yes I may have immense pools of jealousy, but honey, its nothing to me, when you bring me back home In a sentimental way, I say, oooooohhh you're too good for me The way we play together Like in our youth I feel like our life is a union, oh know honey I want to be true to only you We spend our days rushing around But I dream of a night where, without a sound I can slip into bed next to you, and you will hold me close, you're then the only other person I need to know, you're my everything Oh my honey I love you, you know I do, I would spend my days working for you, because I do love all the things you do And at night when the moods right, ill look into your eyes and say my sweetie, you know I love you.

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