#listen i thought his last two lines were SO sexy hahahahaha

[breninarthur]

Well obviously I'm going to have to ask for a Blackwall/El prompt. How about ❛ you’re welcome to stay, if you want. ❜ for these two loves 👀💗

thank you lucky!! this is the first thing i've ever written for dragon age: inquisition 🥰 @dadrunkwriting i haven't finished the game yet, but i love this guy~

rated t, 1084 words. early blackwall/lavellan.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Inquisitor. That's who she was now. Not Ellana, not El, not da'len. But Inquisitor, Herald, Mistress, Lady... titles as foreign to her as the religion she was now a figurehead for.

The celebrations were neverending. Skyhold's crumbling halls were packed full of people from Haven; pilgrims; and refugees from elsewhere certain that Inquisitor Lavellan would protect them with divine blessing. A meagre feast had been prepared, the ale was flowing freely, and there'd been lots of speeches and idolising stares.

Creators, the way that everybody looked at her made El feel sick. They weren't really looking at her. They stared through her, they saw things that weren't there. She wondered if any of them even knew her first name.

As the night pressed on, she receded further and further into the shadows, bit by bit. Slipping out of a conversation here, declining a drink there. As a hunter, she knew how to go unnoticed, and though it was considerably harder now than it ever had been, she still managed.

By midnight, El had left with a good old Dalish goodbye.

It was so much quieter as soon as she stepped into the night. A crisp breeze blew by, and it smelled of rain. She looked up, and the dark sky promised it too. There were no stars to guide her way, no moon, but lit torches buoyed across the grounds to light her way well enough.

Whenever El felt stressed back with her clan, she tended to go to the halla. They were good listeners, and always a comforting presence. The Inquisition had no halla, but the stables were the next best thing. She descended the steps two, three at a time, striding her way over in her naturally quick pace. Her friends always laughed and asked what she was running from. She supposed this time she actually had an answer.

Most of the horses were asleep, but she smiled and waved at them anyway, peering over into their pens. There was, of course, one that was awake.

El leaned back against a stable beam, and smiled. "Hello."

The bog unicorn never slept. It stared at her in a way that unnerved everybody else. Maybe because it didn't have any eyes to do the staring with. Maybe because of the rusty sword through its head. Humans were so judgemental.

"People think they know all about you too, don't they?" she asked, cocking her head to look the creature over. "But you're a good girl."

"Thank you."

El jumped out of her skin at the deep voice that answered her, and she whirled around to see Blackwall leaning against the door jamb, smirking at her.

"Warden Blackwall!" she exclaimed, flushing pink.

"I apologise, my lady," he said, sounding as grave as ever.

"Why aren't you at the party?" she asked.

"Why aren't you?"

"Fair enough," she mumbled, dropping her gaze. She couldn't help but peek at him though. El didn't know much about the Warden, but he held her on as high a pedestal as the others did, except for Solas. Though Blackwall was a bit more... bold.

You're unlike any woman I've ever met. You have the world at your feet, myself included.

There was something about him that El felt drawn to. His voice was deep and warm, his face was weathered, his eyes haunted... he was older, probably by about fifteen years, maybe more. Miralras would tease her to no end, she was sure. Even so, El's heart fluttered in her chest every time Blackwall looked her way.

"My lady," he said lowly, a voice like rolling thunder. "Are you alright?"

She met his eyes properly. Fuck, he was so kind. So sweet and seemingly shy until he flirted with her in public and immediately looked as though he was surprised he'd let himself talk.

His pale eyes pierced hers, and she suddenly felt more vulnerable than she had standing at the top of that forsaken fortress, with everyone bowing down to her.

"I was trying to pick a name for the bog unicorn," El said loudly, snapping her focus back to the thin creature in front of her.

Blackwall didn't answer right away. He knew she was avoiding the question, but she stubbornly kept her eyes front and centre anyway.

"...What about Rusty?" he suggested eventually, and El sagged in relief.

"What, because of the sword sticking out of her face? Bit harsh," she laughed.

"Alright. Ginger."

"I was thinking that, actually," El smiled, approaching the bog unicorn slowly. "But in Elvish, Sinsir."

She held out her hand, and the horse gently pushed her nose into it.

"Or maybe Sansal," she said, stroking along her rough snout. "Banralon, or Banra for short. Thelga... Ghiladin..."

A pause.

"...They all mean ginger?" Blackwall asked.

El laughed. And not one of her pretty ones that usually came out when she fancied someone, but an ugly, snorting thing. She looked at him in embarrassment, but he wasn't laughing at her, or looking in shock. He smiled at her warmly, and looked so... soft.

"No," she chuckled one last time as her laughter trailed off, and she smiled at him, lowering her voice. "They mean shadow blessing. Shadow friend. Safe spirit. And the dead guide."

"Ah," he murmured, holding her gaze. "For the sword sticking out of her face."

El laughed again. "I suppose you're right."

Silence fell between them again, heavy and awkward with avoided conversation. The wind had turned colder, and El shivered in the ugly beige clothes she'd been given. Hideous and impractical. Just like the Chantry. She sighed.

"You don't have to go back, my lady," Blackwall muttered. He pushed off the door jamb.

"Don't I?" El asked, turning to face him properly, looking up at him. They were in that strange liminal space that felt so exciting and so anxiety-inducing at the same time. Not close enough to cause a scandal, but close enough to see the grey hairs in his beard. Quiet, with words on the tips of their tongues but it wasn't the time, wasn't the place, it wasn't appropriate. El was no fool, she knew when someone was attracted to her.

And Warden Blackwall was certainly attracted to her.

"There are plenty more mounts to name," he muttered.

Why did that make her blush? Oh, she could practically hear Miralras ripping into her.

"If you're lucky, I'll let you name one," she tried, grinning.

A smirk spread slowly across his face.

"Then I hope I'm lucky, my lady."

[someone1348]

Okayy! First tumblr story here we gooooo!!

People in this!

Switch!Quackity and Switch!Badboyhalo

This is platonic!

This is based off of the one clip of quackity telling bad to chill out 😂

Tw: mild language

This is a tickle fic so if you don't like it dont read it, no hate or anything inappropriate on my acc thanks!

They are my comfort duo and i thought for the first one this would be good so enjoyyy hehe :]

_______~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~_______

Quackity had been extra hyper that afternoon and decided to make it his main priority to push one of his best friends buttons. Him and bad were just getting back from the nether after searching for netherite. He had been teasing him all day, putting words in bads mouth and just pushing him over the line to get a reaction.

They got out of the portal yelling at each other

"Bad Chill out-"

"NO! YOU CHILL"

"Bad! Chill the hell! out alright!"

"YOU CHILL!-" the demon paused before yelling again, "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME! Do you wanna go quackity!"

The beanie wearing male nervously laughed at his friends new tone of voice and made a dash for it through the grass.

"HEY! you get back here you muffin head!"

Bad chased after him as the younger bolted, laughing nervously, letting out nervous babble and pleads screaming a few times the closer bad got to him.

"AH! Nononono haha i don't wanna die no no no SHIT!"

"LANGUAGE!"

He screeched and rounded the corner stumbling a bit and laughing bad right on his tail.

"GOTCHA!" bad tackled him to the ground both of them falling on the soft grass.

Bad smirked sitting on his thighs as quackity pleaded out and continued giggling nervously

"Bahad dont kill me! Please im to sexy to die!" He joked giggling nervously at his best friends smirk

"Giggling already Quackity but i haven't even started yet" He giggled and wiggled his fingers taughtingly at him

Quackity's eyes wided as he realized what was about to happen.

"WaIT bad DONT-" too late! Quackity broke out into hysterics as bad digged his claws into his stomach

"BAHAHAD-!"

Bad chuckled and removed his wiggly fingers from his stomach

"Hehe im saving that tickly tummy for later" He teased and moved to tweak his ribs

"PFFT- HAHaHahaha!" Quackity pushed at bads hands and turned his head side to side in a giggly fit

Bad sighed and took quackity's hands in one of his own placing them above his head

"Those stay there"

"Yeaha? What happens if they don't stay there hmm?" Quackity took that opportunity to be cheeky, it was rare to have people join in his playfulness like this and he couldn't remember the last time he was tickled, might as well make the most of it right!

Bad smirked

"If they come down the tickle monsters gonna get you! And trust me you're not gonna like him when he's hangry"

The two giggled at that as bad smiled going back to tickle his ribs starting from the highest set of ribs going down

Quackity shrieked once again giggling his head off

"Bahad!"

"Thats my name quackmister what cha' need?~"

Quackity's giggles turned into sweet laughter as he got towards his lower ribs

"NAHAhaha bAhAhahad please! NOHO TEHEHeheasiHihinggg"

"Say quackity how many ribs do you have?" Bad said completely ignoring quackity's words

"IHiHi dohOhont know!?"

"Hmmm lets find out together sha'll we!"

Bad went back to the top of his ribs dragging a finger across the highest one

"Oneeeee~"

"EE!"

Bad dragged it out and continued

"Twooooo~"

"BAHAhahad pLEAHeheAse!" He wouldn't normally laugh this lound but the teasing making it tickle soooo much more than normal.

Bad giggled dragging a finger down his ribcage

"Tickle tickle tickleee~!!"

His hands came shooting down on reflex pushing at bads hand. The demon looked down at the giggly law student crossing his arms as the said law student opened his eyes hesitatly

"Those better not be your hands quackity you know what happens when you don't listen"

Quackity's eyes wided. He swore he ment to keep them up! He was doing so good too! Shit! This can't be good!

"I uhum" he was speechless as the other smirked digging into his underarms with one hand holding them up with the other

"AH! HAHAhaha NAHAHA SHH- PFFT BAhAhaD!"

He squeezed his eyes shut again trying to squirm away, occasionally squeaking if he hit a really bad spot

"BAHAHAD PleaAhease!"

"Nope! This is what you get for pushing my buttons you silly muffin!"

Bad took away his hands moving to pull up the rim of his shirt to show his stomach

"Wait wait! Bad no! Waihit!" Quackity nervously giggled again sucking in his stomach trying to get away

"Hehe awww you think sucking in is gonna do something, thats adorable!" He took a big breath in blowing a raspberry directly above his bellybutton

"AHHH! NAHAHAHAHA WHAIHIHIT BAHAHAHAD!"

Bad laughed with him smirking

"D'awwww Big Q can't handle a wittle raspberry!" He used his tail and swirled it around in his bellybutton

"AYEHAHA BAHAD PLEASE IHIHIM SOHOHOHORRY!"

Bad giggled and got off him smiling down at the giggly bean on the ground

"Thank youuuu"

Quackity regained his breath sitting up

"Yohou better run buddy!" Quackity stated smirking at the man beside him

"Wa- QUACKITY!"

Bad was tackled to the ground as the roles reversed

"No! wAIT! QuackiTy!"

Bad squeaked as quackity squeezed his sides

"Hehehey! Nohohot fahahair" bad "complained" giggling freely as quackity giggled along with him

"Thats what you get bitch! Haha!" He said moving to his stomach

"H-HeHeY! LANGU-HAHaha Language QuackiTHehe!! HAHaha!"

Quackity laughed and blew a raspberry getting him back for the one the giggly demon did earlier

"HEHE STahaAhAP iHiHit you Muffinhehead!"

"Fuck, shit, bitch" Quackity teased him with cursing while moving to pinch at his hips

"LAHAHA- HAHAHA QUAHAHACITEHEHE LAHAHNGUE STAHAHAP NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!"

Quackity smirked "yes here! Tickle tickle bad! Haha!" He teased giving his signature playful laugh

"PLEHEAHASE!"

Quackity gave in and tickled his neck slowing the muffin loving mans laughter down to pure giggles

"Hehe"

Bad scrunched up his shoulders lightly

Quackity smiling and stopping getting off him

"That was fun" Big Q exclaimed smiling at bad as he sat up

"Yeah it was! But maybe you'll learn next time to not push the tickle monsters buttons" bad teased throwing some wiggly fingers in the youngers direction

"Haha yeah we will see about that bad" Quackity smirked happily

"BAD!"

Bad turned to see skeppy running at the two of them, Quackity rolled his eyes

'Fun's over' he thought as bad talked to his best friend

"SKEPPY! Hey!"

"Quackity, hello to you too" Skeppy said trying to keep his annoyed tone to a minimum

"I'll see you around bad" Quackity went to turn away but bad stopped him

"Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Sleep with one eye open tonight"

Bad joked as the beanied boy laughed and walked off

"Bye bad!"

"Hehe Bye Quackity!"

"You really hang out with him?" Skeppy asked as the diamond boy walked away with his best demon friend

"Oh hush mr jealous he's not that bad"

"Pfft yeah right"

Bad smirked and rolled his eyes

"Lets go skeppy we got stuff to rebuild since creepers keep blowing it all up"

"Okayyy!"

A conclusion to a good day

--------------------------------------------------

Hehe!! I hope you all enjoyedd! More to come! Definitely! :]

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p.2)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Saturday 12:09 PM

you know what might be worse than pyramid schemes?

bridal showers

this is horrendous 

Same woman you were drinking in solidarity to?

obviously, I have like four friends 

I thought teachers were like outgoing and bubbly?

oh hell no, socializing is not my cup of tea

one of the other bridesmaids just asked who i was texting so I told her jack the ripper

Oh you couldn’t even give me a good one

i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that 

My day off and the weekend finally coincide, which means I’m not leaving my couch all day. 

I wish I were you this shower is gonna kill me 

teachers on the weekend are a fun sight to see

You’re not partaking this time?

no i’m DD

it’s for the best, I did throw up on my shoes last weekend 

How crazy is a bridal shower that you need a DD?

there’s a mimosa bar and they’re already playing never have I ever

the mother of the groom is starting something with the mother of the bride

I gotta deal with this 

  Saturday 3:11 PM

I deserve bottle of wine for all of the shit I dealt with today

I never wanna be a maid of honor ever again

Maybe we should rename you Maid of Dishonor?

wooooooow

I throw up on my shoes ONE TIME

How’d the battle of the mothers go?

oh it was horrendous 

groom is from a rich family and bride grew up on a farm… you know how it goes 

Doesn’t sound fun. Glad you made it out. 

barely

how’s your day off going

Amazing. I get to watch baseball and sit on the couch with a bag of chips and a beer. I’m living the dream. 

I envy you

they’re making us go out again

Do you get to drink during this escapade?

yes thank god

manhattan or moscow mule?

A whiskey drinker? You might be the perfect woman. 

don’t try to butter me up, i’ve never even met you in person

We can change that. 

  Saturday 6:14 PM

Do you think birds have dreams?

I thought I was supposed to get drunk

You were talking too long. And I’m not drunk. 

I can’t think of another reason why you’d ask me about bird dreams

You’re a teacher. I was curios. 

i’m not a bird specialist

personally I do not think that birds can dream

I’m telling them you said that. 

the birds?

Yes. They deserve to know the truth. 

have you just been sitting on the couch drinking beer all day?

did you even eat

Yeah I had pizza for lunch 

what about dinner?

It’s not dinner time yet. 

dude it’s 6

Oh shit really?

Hahaha that explains it 

psh and you said I was bad when I was drunk

you’re freaking Snow White 

Is this ebcause I asked about the birds 

yes it is

I gotta go, Maggie says i’m not netting the quota for fun

Maggie sounds like a buzzkill

she’s the assistant principal, i’m scared she’ll fire me if I don’t listen

jk… kinda 

  Saturday 12:32 AM

Incoming Voice Call

  “Jo! Put the phone down! You should not be calling anyone right now!”

“Hello?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn! I’m so glad you picked up.”

“Are you drunk now?”

“Noooo….. maybe. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi princess.”

“Your voice is nice. It’s a good voice, it’s sexy and I like it.”

“You’re kinda crazy, you know that?”

“Josephine Wilson! Give me the phone!”

“Woah who full named you? They sound angry.”

“That’s Maggie, she’s trying to get me to go home. I can’t go home Maggie, I’m talking to a hot doctor! And he has a sexy voice!”

“You’ve never even seen me, you don’t know if I’m hot.”

“I’m judging off your sexy voice and what few characteristics I know about you. I’d be shocked if you weren’t hot.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

“I have to go, Maggie is dragging me out of the bar. Byeeee hot doctor!”

“Goodnight princess, don’t throw up on your shoes this time.” 

  Sunday 9:58 AM

How’re your shoes looking?

  Sunday 11:22 AM

You’re still dead? I mean you did call me half past midnight… but I thought you’d be up by now.

  Sunday 1:46 PM

Are you embarrassed because of what you said on the phone? Frankly I found it endearing. 

  Sunday 3:18 PM

As a doctor, I’m advising you to drink more fluids and get food in your system. Maybe a banana. It’ll make you feel less shitty, trust me.

  Sunday 6:17 PM

Hope you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. 

  Monday 7:23 AM

oh my god I am so sorry

I dropped my phone in Maggie’s car and I just got it back

wait you were worried about me weren’t you

Well you fell off the face of the earth… so yeah. 

awwww well it’s nice to know that someone would notice if I was kidnapped and murdered 

Didn’t you say I was the one that would kidnap and murder you? 

yes but i’m having a change of heart

Is it because of my sexy voice?

I was kinda hoping I didn’t say that out loud

whoops

I told you I found it endearing. 

flattery will get you everywhere

gotta go, class is lining up and they’re already screaming

I’ll pray for you. 

  Monday 8:08 PM

dude the thai place on 7th across from old navy?

amazing

i’m in heaven

Oh so we’ve reached the stage of giving each other food recommendations?

obviously 

this is a serious relationship 

Chinese place across from Joe’s Bar has the best egg rolls. Perfect drunchies. 

i’ve never been to joe’s 

I live right around the corner from there

So we’re neighbors then? I’m off of Fullerton. 

I guess we are

that’s exciting, i bet i’ve seen you at the grocery store 

Bold of you to assume I make it to the grocery store. 

honestly same

I usually guilt steph or izzie into it

You’re the chaotic good of the group aren’t you?

obviously 

I keep things balanced 

what’re you doing?

On a break, almost done for the night. I have to round on post ops and then I’m done. 

nice!!! did you get anything fun today?

Not really just surgeries I could do in my sleep. 

typical monday’s

I have to go, we have a field trip tomorrow and i’m not emotionally prepared

Oof. Have fun, don’t die. 

who the hell ends texts like that?

A doctor. Obviously. Night princess. 

goodnight Snow White

  Tuesday 12:18 PM

whoever decided to bring 42 fourth graders to the science discovery museum should be fired 

Isn’t that you?

maybe

maybe not

It was totally you. How about a deal?

deal with an internet stranger? 

fine but if I die i’m gonna be pissed

How about I drop off a bottle of wine on your porch on my way to work? I work the night shift again. 

hmmmm I don’t think i’m supposed to give my address to strangers

but i’m pretty sure if you were going to kill me you would’ve done it by now

See you’re getting the hang of it. 

okay i’ll give you my address

but if there’s a bomb we’re going to have words

If there’s a bomb you’ll be dead. 

  Tuesday 4:54 PM

red wine AND egg rolls?

if I didn’t know better i’d think you’re trying to woo me

I think I need to meet you before we can say that. 

thank you!!! 

my roomies are teasing me about taking wine from a stranger

You’re welcome. And I’m not a stranger. I know your name and where you live. 

aaaaand way to make things creepy

BTW your blonde roommate was checking out my ass. 

hahahahaha that’s izzie for you

she has a boyfriend don’t worry 

I wasn’t too concerned about her, just thought you might want to beat her up or something. 

intentionally trying to start a cat fight? classy

she says you’re “super dreamy” so that’s a plus

Glad to know I passed the checkpoint. Does this mean I get to meet you now?

maybe maybe not

we have learned one good thing though

And what’s that?

even if you are a serial killer, you have a good taste in wine and your attractive

i’ll die happy

  Tuesday 7:32 AM

If I never work another overnight again it’ll be too soon. 

yeah you’ve been working a lot of those 

wtf is up with that

I lost a bet with Arizona. 

oof that doesn’t sound fun

at least I have nice stable working hours

summers off

i’m living the dream

Why do you do that?

do what?

Send forty texts. There’s a button to put in a period and start a new sentence. In the same text. 

you really do text like a 60 year old

I’m sophisticated, obviously. 

I know we’ve never met but I need a favor

Oof. After I dropped off wine for you?

the favor includes free food and alcohol

I’m listening… 

that wedding i’m in is next weekend

and I don’t have a date :-)

I wish I could, I’m going out of town. 

booooo

it’s okay, after i’m done being a brides bitch my weekend will open up

i’ll also be done with school for year

So I can take you out on a proper date? Instead of texting you all day? 

you do realize that you’re texting a girl who found your number at 11 pm while shit faced in a bar right

That’s always how I pictured meeting the woman of my dreams. 

oh shut up

I suppose i’ll go on a date with you, man I know nothing about 

I’m Alex, I’m 27 and I don’t think pineapple belongs on pizza

deal breaker sorry

pineapple + pizza = deliciousness 

Well at least you know more about me. 

that I do

jo, 25, who’s favorite color is purple and eats cinnamon toast for breakfast everyday, has to go educate the tiny humans

talk to you later old man

Oh come on you’re two years younger!

  Tuesday 1:26 PM

have you ever had to hot glue rhinestones to candle votives 

because I am

and I hate it

WTF is a votive?

those tiny little glass things you put a candle into

Oh. Why are you bedazzling them? 

wedding prep

today is a half day so bridezilla has us crafting for her 

Are all of you brides bitches teachers?

yes

it’s hell

you try to talk about your class and all you hear about is peonies and roses and baby’s breath

I’m glad I’m a dude then. 

ha! you better be 

oh my god, she’s gone psycho

if I don’t text she took my phone

Don’t die, I’m looking forward to our date. 

  Tuesday 7:17 PM

RIP Jo, Avid Cinnamon Toast Eater 

Killed by Her Insane Bride Friend  

I made it out!!!!

barely

Nice, I’ve heard a rabid bridezilla is hard to escape. 

it was the worst 

but she let me go when I told her I had to finish putting in grades for the year

(I finished last night)

I for one am proud of you. That’s badass. 

lol i’ll keep that in mind 

thursday is our last day before freedom

I think I might get shit faced as soon as I leave work

I support it wholeheartedly. 

good because you’ll probably get more bar princess texts

Or if I’m lucky a phone call where you call me sexy again. 

hey hey I didn’t call you sexy

I called your voice sexy

there’s a difference 

Oh sorry, I don’t know how I overlooked that. 

mhm sure 

tomorrow is crazy hair day 

Does this mean I get to see a picture of you? Because I’m definitely interested in seeing what you do with this spirit day thing. 

i’ll save it for when we meet

I’m determined not to see you until our date

Suit yourself. Gotta go remove stitches. 

oooohh how exhilarating!! 

  Wednesday 9:42 AM

How goes the crazy hair?

oh just dandy 

half my hair is pink 

You seem like the type to be able to pull of pink hair. Plus it’s pretty rad. 

you’re too kind 

I bribed the kids with cookies and a movie 

i’m totally winning today

I just took out an appendix, I think I win. 

just saying I don’t think that our jobs are comparable 

but taking out an appendix sounds cool

Not as cool as cookies though. 

I have a bunch left over

should I drop them on your doorstep? 

Only if you want to. I wouldn’t say no to a good cookie. I’m here till 5. 

i’ll stop by after work!! 

we have another half day

Sweet. I’m glad you’re the one that found my number. 

  Wednesday 12:56 PM

Dude. George says you look like an adorable preschooler. 

I FORGOT I HAD MY HAIR LIKE THIS

he was very understanding 

Rave reviews on your “kindness and beautiful eyes” 

oh my god 

I have to die now 

He might’ve mentioned your ass too. I’m painting a beautiful mental picture. 

oh lord

brb gotta wash out this stupid hair dye 

maybe bang my head against the shower wall

Oooh tell me more. I love a dirty shower fantasy. 

oh booo

you’re not even trying anymore 

  Wednesday 5:55 PM

remember the titans is on tv

and it’s really good 

in case you didn’t know 

That movie is 20 years old, of course I know it’s good. 

well clearly I didn’t 

i didn’t have cable growing up 

Oh neither did I, I just stole it from the neighbors. 

that’s pretty bad ass for a kid 

Had to keep my siblings entertained. You know how it is. 

nope i’m an only child

That sounds like a dream. I have two younger siblings and they’re both a pain in the ass. 

if you knew the half of it you’d be begging to trade places with me 

I’m looking forward to hearing all of it. 

  Thursday 11:53 AM

FREEDOM!!!!!!

I AM FREE!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

I’m assuming school is out?

Y E S

$20 says I can sneak out of here without bridezilla roping me into a stupid arts and crafts project 

I hope so, I’m enjoying talking to you today. 

aren’t you at work??

Nope. Today is my day off. 

and you’re not watching baseball and drinking beer?

It’s not even noon yet. 

time is an illusion

it’s shots o clock somewhere or whatever they say

I’m now learning that the only cultural education you have is the Backstreet Boys. I think our second date will have to be a movie marathon. 

already planning our second date?

ambitious 

I like it

My conversation is fairly limited if I can’t drop a pop culture reference or two during the day. 

I can see your points and i’m willing to sit myself down and watch the classics

okay gotta sneak past bridezilla… wish me luck

Good luck 

  Thursday 4:35 PM

Pork shoulder, corn, and potatoes all on the grill. 

i’m jealous

I can’t cook to save my life 

thank god we’re going out tonight

To celebrate finally breaking free for the summer?

exactly!! steph and izzie decided we needed to go to a club after dinner

i’ve never been to one before 

Overpriced drinks and random guys grinding up on you all night. Not the best experience. 

oh so random guys grind on you when you go out?

Shut up. 

hahahaha 

I’ve never even been to a club before. Not my scene. I just live with women so I know these things. 

well i’ll update you on the happenings

let you know if I have to pay $20 for a drink

who’s grinding on my ass

you know normal everyday things

Woah woah woah. 

what??

are you jealous??

I’m just saying if you’re gonna be shaking your ass, you might as well get random guys to buy you overpriced drinks. 

you’re making some very good points 

Of course I am. By the way, George wants me to tell you that you have a very shakeable ass so you should be taking in free drinks. 

great I have to go die again 

brb gonna drOWN MYSELF IN THE SHOWER 

  Thursday 10:38 PM

good news

i’ve secured three free drinks and a round of shots for all six of us

this ass is making money baby

I’ve created a monster. Who else is there?

steph, izzie, april, maggie, and levi

You brought the whole staff out didn’t you?

yes and I’m quite skilled at getting them drunk

You’re three drinks in and still texting correctly?

I think I danced it all off

need more fireball

And that’s another thing. Who willingly shoots Fireball?

me bitch

Ohh I love it when you call me names. 

mmm i’m sure you do

okay i’m gonna go get more drinks

wish me luck

Good luck, I’m sure your ass will take in more than enough. 

  Thursday 11:57 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Helloo?”

“Hi, it’s me.”

“I can afford caller ID, I knew it was you.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No, I was about to head upstairs but I’m not tired.”

“Oh good. I just got home.”

“You sound tired. Did you have fun?”

“It was nice, Steph went home with some guy she met and Izzie went to her boyfriends so I’m home alone.”

“So you decided to call me?”

“I missed your voice, I told you that you have a nice voice.”

“You said that I have a sexy voice.”

“Oh shut up. I wanted to call before I went to sleep.”

“You’ve grown fond of me haven't you?”

“If you’re gonna say it like a weirdo then yes… I have grown fond of you, Snow White.”

“I guess I can say the same about you Bar Princess. Are you yawning over there?”

“Just a little bit, but I like talking to you.”

“It’s midnight, I wouldn’t blame you for falling asleep.”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep, I wanna keep talking to you.”

“How about I tell you the story of the time I was bridesman and I had to go to a bachelorette party?”

“Okay I’m listening…”

  Friday 10:15 AM

I feel like a teenager 

who the hell falls asleep on the phone

i’m in a bad rom com aren't I 

Your snoring is really cute. 

oh christ

well at least I didn’t take body shots off a male stripper

I was really hoping you’d be asleep before I got to that part. 

oh nooo I remember that very clearly 

i’ll be filing that away for blackmail

Rude. I guess I’ll save your snoring in that file too. 

touché, I like the way you play the game

I’m an experienced player. Gotta go scrub in on a fundoplication. 

have fun!!!

  Friday 2:41 PM

I got bored and googled a fundoplication

that’s some crazy stuff, you’re kind of a badass

Easy peasy, all in a day's work. 

nooo that’s amazing stuff!! 

i’m in my classroom scraping gum and glitter off of the desks

Well you’re the reason people become doctors so I'd say you’re pretty important too. 

awww you’re still trying to impress me

it’s a good look on you

I’m trying to be a gentleman. Maybe I’ll bring up your puke shoes just to be an asshole. 

you know what even the mention of that can’t bring down my good mood

do you think I could get in trouble for drinking wine in my classroom?

Well there’s no kids around so… no. But I like the rebellious attitude you have towards the situation. 

if i’m gonna sit in a classroom with no AC and scrape boogers off desks all day then I deserve some damn wine

You’re right and you should say it. 

I DESERVE MY WINE I EARNED IT

oh shit maggie is outside i’m so fired

Hey you got her free shots last night, she should be thankful. 

you know what you’re right

oh shit it’s bridezilla

Run.

whew

forgot we have our final dress fitting tomorrow

i’m not dead yet

Oh good. I kinda don’t want the first time I see you to be your funeral. 

hahaha very funny

gotta go, we have to do this stupid year end meeting

I hate it here

Have fun, and remember don’t stab yourself with a pen!

  Saturday 8:13 AM

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

I wanna die 

bridezilla is making us jog

and she took away my donuts

  Saturday 9:53 AM

Jesus Christ. You need new friends. 

honestly she’s not that bad when she’s not stressing over this wedding 

she’s crying because she has a pimple

Oof that’s a tough run. Unfortunately, I have to spend the day out on a boat. 

boohoo I don’t not feel bad for you

unless like… you have some childhood trauma from a boat

Nope. I get to relax and drink beer all day long. 

yeah well then screw you

I have to try my stupid dress on and go to a stupid lunch and I CAN’T EVEN HAVE DONUTS

Aren’t you at home?

yes, steph invited everyone here since we have the space

why?

Check your porch. 

YOU BROUGHT ME DONUTS?! 

you’re my favorite

thank you thank you thank you 

You’re welcome, I’m happy to be of service. 

ohhhh I might just kiss you when we finally meet 

I wouldn’t say no to that. 

okay I gotta go hide in the closet and eat my donuts 

thank you for thinking of me!!

It’s all I ever do. 

  Saturday 2:16 PM

How goes the dress trying on?

it was good!! mine fits and we have a beautiful bride on our hands 

Good. I’m glad your day is getting better. I think I’m getting a sunburn. 

you better not

that shit is dangerous 

go find sunscreen 

Now you’re concerned about me huh?

always

did you put the sunscreen on

Yes because I knew you’d spontaneously implode if I didn’t. 

good 

I didn’t want to you to burst into flames sitting in the sun

As a doctor, I can tell you that most likely would not be what happened.

now we have to sit through a boring ass lunch

it’s what the mother of the groom insists on

Is she paying for it though? …. yes

Well then stop complaining.

okay okay fine

hey quick question

which fork do i stab myself with

Go order a steak and drink an expensive glass of wine.

  Saturday 10:39 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Well well well, how the tables have turned.” “Bar Priiiiiincessss.” “Oh my god. This is so going in the blackmail file.”

“No don’t do that. If Jo finds out I was singing to another girl she’ll be mad.” “And why don’t you want Jo to be mad at you?” “Because I want to kiss her. And hug her. And see her face.”

“Well do I have a surprise for you.” “Oh I love surprises!”

“Jo and Bar Princess are the same person. I’m Jo.” “Holy crap! NO way!”

“Yes way, isn’t that crazy?”

“Can you tell Jo that she’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.” “I will relay the message. Jo is going to bed now though. Goodnight Alex.” “Good night Bar Princess, I miss you!”

[missjoker96]

Hey my lovely clown friends!

Here is a new written short fanfic about Arthur Fleck and Joker.

Enjoy it! :)

Arthur/Joker and Reader

A surprise with consequences

I woke up on my couch in the afternoon and didn't recognize that (Y/N) left the appartment before I fell asleep. It must have been before I closed my eyes, because I could feel how she kissed my lips and told me good bye sweetheart. It always made me happy when I get kisses and compliments from my one and only true love. She made me happy in every way and no other person could ever be like her. She was the missing part in my heart, my once broken and damaged heart. My soul was lonely for my whole life and I never thought that I would ever find a girl who could love a mental loner. I still can't believe my luck, but it was true.

I took a look at the watch and it was already late afternoon. (Y/N) said she would only leave to buy some food, but who could know how long it would take? I forgot to take my meds again and this wasn't a good sign for me eighter, but I didn't want to feel bad anymore. I lit myself a cigarette and had a crazy idea in mind. What if I surprise her and dress as Joker and walk the streets towards the super market where she buys the food? It was insane, but if not me then Joker should surprise her. Perfect, I am going to surprise her with the red suit, my painted on clown face and my green dyed hair. It had to be perfect and as everyone knew, perfection took time.

I took my time and put some Frank Sinatra music on, of course my favourite song and sang the lines while I danced to my bathroom to dye my hair green again. It has been already a while since I used my hair dye the last time. I only needed it when I dress as Joker, because I need him as my protector against bullies and criminal attacks. He was the protective clown, the dangerous one and sexy one. (Y/N) loved him, but more important was that she loved Arthur Fleck. She loved ME and this made me very lucky. I would do anything for her and threat her like my princess.

Once I finished my cigarette, I began to dye my hair green. It always fascinated me how the green covered every single brown hair and my body moved while I sang to That's Life.

"That's life.. (That's life) That's what all the people say.."

I felt great listening to my favourite song while turning into Joker again. After my hair was complete green, I waited and let the hair dye dry and lit up another cigarette. It was needed and I began to paint my face white, step by step. Arthur slowly disappeared, Joker appeared. The next step were the blue triangles above and below my eyes. I painted them very careful, because I wanted it to look perfect. And then I used the red for my eye brows above the triangles, the red nose and finally the big red wide smile.

I smirked at my mirror reflection and it smirked back. A real smile under the fake one since I met (Y/N). The only missing part was my red suit, Joker's skin. He wouldn't be Joker if he didn't wear his suit. I grabbed my red trousers, my green shirt and the yellow armless vest. Not to forget my red jacket, the full ending outfit! Before I left, I took white socks and put my shoes on. One last smirk and I left my appartment.

Nothing could stop me now, because this was Joker's time and he could do what he wanted to do. He only had one target, to surprise his beloved girlfriend.

...The clown in red suit lit himself a cigarette and walked through the streets of Gotham City...

I walked the way to the subway station, because the super market where (Y/N) prefered wasn't close to our appartment, so I had to use the subway. People noticed me and I loved it, because they recognized me and SEE ME. It was Joker who roamed these streets, but behind the mask was Arthur Fleck and people noticed me. They even looked at me and greeted me, but all I hear is.. "Hello Joker. What's up?" I smirked at them and winked them.

"Hey guys.." I replied and blew a dark mist of smoke out of my mouth. This feeling of being accepted and noticed made me happy, but I wish that they also respect Arthur. I am Arthur and Joker at the same time, but they were two different characters. People eighter didn't know that or they were blind to see the truth. I continued my way and noticed more and more people look at me and then I saw a mother with her little boy who smiled at me and pointed with his finger at me. I could hear him speaking.

"Mommy, look! There is a clown. Can we go to him?"

It warmed my heart and I checked my pockets. The luck met me, because I found a balloon and I could make an animal balloon for this little boy.

The boy's mother smiled, because of her little son's happiness and came closer to me.

"Joker, hm?" She said to me.

I smirked and shook my head. The balloon was blue and I decided to make a balloon cat. I was good in making balloon animals, because I've worked as party clown a few years and have practise.

"Yes, my name is Joker. May I know your name, little boy?" I gave him the balloon cat and smiled at him, because I wasn't sure how children react. The boy's smile widened as he got the balloon cat and offered his hand to me. "I am Bruce.. Thank you for the balloon cat. You are a very nice clown, Joker." Suddenly I remembered this Wayne guy. Thomas Wayne was his name and he had a son called Bruce Wayne. The boy I wanted to smile for me, but I wasn't funny for him. It broke my heart as his butler told me to go or he would call the police.

It was Arthur's past. This was Joker's time and he brought a little boy to smile. His mother smiled too, but only because her son was happy about my gift to him. It felt like my day just began. As I continued my way, I noticed a group of young men arguing with each other. I decided to ignore them, because I wanted to avoid stress. (Y/N) would tell me the same if she were here now, so I slowly passed them and acted as if I didn't see them. Suddenly one of these guys turned his face into my direction and spoke to me.

"Hey.."

I stopped to walk and turned around to look at him. "Yes?"

"Where are you from? You look as if you escaped from a circus."

And there was it again. The insult with the circus involved. How often did I have to tell that I am not a fucking circus clown? It made me angry, but I stayed calm and suddenly I bursted out in laugher. It wasn't Arthur's laugh, it was Joker's laugh.

"Hahahahaha.. Hahahahaha.."

It was my real laugh and I could control it. I took a breath before I answered.

"I am Joker and not a fucking circus clown. But if you want stress, then let's have some huh?" They wouldn't get my joke, because one of them looked confused. The other one stepped already back and the rest of them stepped closer to me.

It looked as if they wanted some stress.

They could have it.

"What about a joke?" I tried the usual way.

My hands were looking for my gun, but it wasn't there. WHERE THE HELL WAS MY GUN???? I asked myself without using words and could only hope that these guys didn't carry a gun with them.

I never left my gun at home.

Whatever, I waited for the guy's answers.

"A joke you say? Alright, tell us one of your jokes." The head guy crossed his arms and chewed on something in his mouth. The other one stood beside him and grabbed a knife without being noticed. At least he thought that I didn't see the knife.

"What happens if some street guys cross the clown called Joker and insult him? The punchline is, you all get what you fucking deserve."

I made sure that nobody watched me, ran towards the guy with the knife and kicked him to the ground. I grabbed the knife and laughed. The guy looked scared and begged for his life. "Please don't kill me, Joker! We only made some fun and of course we respect you. Right?"

The head guy quickly shook his head, because he didn't want to see his friend getting hurt from me.

"Forgive us, Joker.. We didn't want to insult you. Of course you aren't a circus clown."

I loved it when they gave up and almost begged for their lives. I would also hate to kill them, but they were part of clown haters and it means that I have to make it a final end.

I let them time to breath before I used the knife and killed them. Blood everywhere, but not my blood this time. The other two guys didn't watch the scene and I got rid of the dead bodies before I cleaned the knife and my hands.

Good that my suit wasn't stained.

(Y/N) wouldn't notice what I have done.

I continued my way and suddenly I heard my name. The voice was familiar and I stopped to walk. It wasn't the police, because I would have heard the loud siren.

"ARTHUR.." The female voice said and it was (Y/N), I recognized her voice.

I rolled my eyes and called out my other name. "JOKER, please.." And finally I looked into her eyes. She wore heavy bags full of food and didn't look happy.

Did she saw what I've done to the group of young men?

I hope not.

"I wanted to surprise you, (Y/N)."

She looked disappointed at me. Her facial features told me that she noticed the blood covered knife and the corpse's on the ground. And who else would have killed them, but Joker?

"Surprise me? Is this your new kind of surprising people? You have killed humans, Arthur." Her voice was almost a yelling at me and I felt like the bad guy again.

She had to know the truth.

I took a deep breath. At least she saw me as Arthur while I was Joker. This was one good thing and I wished that all others would see me like (Y/N) saw me.

"Listen, I wanted to surprise you with my Joker outfit. But these guys, I didn't greet them or bothered them and they insulted me. They insulted Joker! And I have seen how one of them prepared a knife to kill me. Do you understand?"

I was out of breath and looked at the knife in my right hand. I could see myself. My make up was no mess, it was like after I painted it.

My hands began to shake and I remembered that I forgot to take my meds. I didn't hallucinate, but almost and could be glad that (Y/N) was with me now. Only she could calm me down and I listened to her.

"I understand, darling. But you have to be more careful. Gotham is full of villains, ignorant people and criminals. And the police could have arrested you if they noticed you."

She was right. I had to be more careful also as Joker. He was my protector and always found a way to get out of trouble. I let the knife fall and walked towards her and placed my hands on her cheeks.

"Please forgive me. I promise to be more careful. I love you so much, (Y/N). And to let you know. Joker and Arthur were talking to you know." I smirked and took her heavy shopping bags. She kissed my lips and whispered into my ears. "I forgive you my handsome Joker. Let us go home now and make ourself comfortable? I could cook us a fine dinner and then we can cuddle up together. How does that sound?"

I smirked wider and agreed with her.

My meds wouldn't let me eat much food, but I forgot to take them and it didn't matter. I would definetely eat her food, because she was the best cook for me. And she knew that I tried to eat more to gain more weigh in time.

I began to daydream once again, but this time (Y/N) woke me and smirked back at me.

"Joker? Or is it Arthur?"

I heard her asking me.

Of course I knew the answer right away.

"I would say it's Joker, but it's both of them. You are speaking to Arthur and Joker at the same time. And I would love to cuddle up with you on our couch after we ate dinner together."

I noticed the blush on her cheeks and she squeezed my hand. It felt good and I felt better, because I wasn't only Joker anymore when I wore the make up and the suit. I was also Arthur at the same time.

(Y/N) was proud of me and we both forgot the tragedy that happened in this street.

"I am glad that you found the way to your true self, darling. And now let us go home. A comfortable evening awaits us and a romantic one too." She kept smiling as she walked back to Anderson Ave with me.

I walked with her hand in hand and spoke to myself.

"I guess /that's life/ then.."

#JokerFanfiction #ArthurFleck #Joker #ShortStory #Joker2019 #DCUniverse

[savedbyharrington]

The best photographer / Dacre Montgomery imagine

Dacre Montgomery x Reader

Summary: Your friend gets you a job where you have to photograph the one and only Dacre and it’s hard to concentrate on your job because, well...

Warnings: None, it’s pure fluff

A/N: I’d like to dedicate this to my dearest @pummelpony <3 Aaand because she asked to, there may be a smut continuation for this. I think this is a bit long for a imagine but also too short for a one shot so idk? Hahahaha sorry

Monday, 8 am. The sun invaded your room and that disturbed you a little but you could keep on sleeping with that. It was nice to work as a freelancer photographer because you don’t really have a schedule to follow, not always I mean. So this sometimes meant extra sleeping. But something else had to interrupt your dreams. It was your phone vibrating.

You grunt and without changing your position, you reach for it on your bedside table. It was your best friend Annie calling you. She was a model and you met during work, and since then you’ve been really close friends, you couldn’t just hang up on her.

“Hello?”- you could only mumble those words

“GUESS WHO GOT YOU A NEW JOB?”- a super excited Annie said on the other side of the line.

“What’s so important about a job that you have to wake me up so early on a Monday? Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m sooo sorry, I closed the deal last night and I couldn’t wait to tell you this hahahahaha But, guess who’s in the job? Me and...”

“Please say something like Obama or else I’m hanging up right now...”

“DACRE MONTGOMERYYYY”-she was so excited you could listen to Annie just randomly jump across the line.

You were getting used to photographing famous people. Of course it was always exciting to work for celebrities, but you always acted as a good professional and kept your excitement to yourself. However, working with your celebrity crush would be something completely different. The idea of being in the same room with him... Oh gosh, your heart actually started to beat faster just at the thought of this.

Annie explained you better about the job. It was for a new jeans brand and she and Dacre would pose as a couple. You actually felt yourself getting a bit jealous at this information. Your friend, who was a model, working with him... What if he falls in love with her? No, it can’t be, you thought to yourself. She knows about the major crush you have on him, she would never betray you like this.

“Okay, so this is it! See you on Wednesday!!”-said Annie, finally hanging up so you could be with your thoughts and imagine how this work would go.

**************************************************************************

You were so filled with excitement and anxiety that you couldn’t sleep properly the night before. Your mind was full of questions about him. “Is he a nice person?” “Is he as handsome as in the pictures and movies he makes?” “What if he’s cocky and rude?”

Time to wake up. You stood up, and did your morning routine. It was nothing much, except that today you were doing it with more excitement than never. Your toast even tasted better strangely that day, it may be because of the happiness that was bursting in your chest. The day you’d meet Dacre Montgomery himself.

You arrived at the studio where the pictures would be taken. You firstly talked to the director of the project, the marketing chief of the company. He was a nice guy, but seemed a bit nervous since it was the brand’s first big project. You understood exactly what he wanted. It would be pictures of Annie and Dacre separately and then of them together.

Suddenly you feel two hot hands on your eyes, covering them and not allowing you to see what’s in front of you.

“Guess whoooo?”-a familiar voice said to you.

“A very goofy Annie, of course!”-You said, taking her hands off your face and turning around to her.

“Aw, that was too easy! Hahaha How are you?”-she said, hugging you and accompanied by a hot Dacre Montgomery- “So, this is Dacre! Dacre, (Y/N). (Y/N), Dacre!”

You opened your eyes wide because you were astonished by such beauty. Lord, he was indeed very handsome. You offered your hands to shake with his, but instead, he just got it and kissed it in a very polite and gentleman-ish act. You could feel your heart melting inside of you and your panties getting slightly wet.

“Pleasure to meet you!”-he said, winking at you- “Annie here told me you are an excellent photographer!”

“Yes...”-you coughed because your voice failed a bit-”Well, personally I think I do a good job.”

“I bet you do, yes.”

Strangely, he couldn���t take his eyes off of yours. You thought it was out of politeness, since you two were talking. It felt a bit weird, even though you loved it.

The photo shooting went amazing, especially when Dacre had to take his white T-shirt off. You still don’t know how you managed to focus on your work when you had that wonderful Australian man in front you. You were very proud of yourself for that, actually.

During a small break, while setting up your camera, you notice Dacre talking to Annie. He eventually would stare at you, and she had a huge smile on her face. What were they talking about? You for a second thought they were gossiping about you. In a fraction of second bad things crossed your mind.

Then Annie walked joyfully towards you. You noticed the enthusiasm in her looks, she used to be pretty up-mooded and stuff, but you never saw her like that.

“Soooo, what are your plans for tonight?”-she asked in a funny way

“Erm, not much. I actually thought about buying myself a bottle of wine and just watch something on netflix, why?”

“Because I just set a double-date for us. Dacre came to me and he said he was so interested on you.”-she said, winking.

“You did WHAT?”- you couldn’t help yourself and let that loud “what” out. Annie promptly covered your mouth, giggling.

“Yes, I did it. Don’t worry. It’ll be great!”

“I can’t believe you did this!”- you were still shocked about that. You dreamed a lot about dating Dacre but doing it was something completely different. What if it goes wrong and he ends up not liking you?-”By the way, if I’m dating Dacre, then who are you dating?”

“Joe Keery. He said I could pick any of his friends, so I made my choice and I know he has accepted because Dacre already texted him, so it’s all good! We’ll pick you up at 9!”

********************************************************************

“Okay, I guess I’m ready”- you said while staring at yourself on the mirror in your bedroom.

You had a nice black dress, black pumps and a red lipstick on. It was a really nice combination, despite of your low self-esteem controlling you. It’s going to be fun, you kept repeating to yourself. That’s when your phone beeped. It was a message from Annie saying you should be on the front door.

When you closed the door, a nice black Mercedes Gle Coupe showed up, parking in your driveway and a half-buttoned shirt Dacre opened the door for you, signing you to sit next to him, while a loud Annie and Joe were being total goofballs in the back seat.

“They got along really fast”-said Dacre giggling.

“Heey, babe! I was thinking about what we talked earlier today and I decided to buy some wine for us. Want some?”-Annie said slightly tipsy.

“Of course I’m not having any, since I’m driving.”-Dacre said, smirking

“No, thanks, Annie. Girl pull yourself together!”- you said, making all in the car laugh.

He had taken you to a nice fancy bar, by the beautiful beach of LA. Annie and Joe had some more drinks while you and Dacre decided not to. He, because he was a safe driver and you decided to join him in this alcohol-less night.

You talked about the photoshoot today, Stranger Things and other personal stuff. About him moving from Australia to the US to make movies and how he was dealing with all of that. He was indeed a very interesting person and you two were getting to know each other very well. He later asked about you. Your job and personal life, and he listened to it very carefully and full of attention, he was seriously interested in you.

After the nice dinner, Annie and Joe decide to get a cab and go back to his place, but Dacre had other plans for you.

“How about a walk on the beach?”-that sexy voice of his asked you while he started deep in your eyes.

You couldn’t deny it.

You kept on talking, while walking on the beach. You were holding your pumps and the cold breeze was touching your faces. Suddenly, Dacre stopped walking, turned around and pulled you close to him.

“Hey, (Y/N). I must say I’m really thankful for Annie to get you that job today. It was really nice meeting you.”

“Well, thank you.-you said, blushing, of course.

“You are so beautiful and smart and, well... There is no way to not like you. May I... Kiss you?”-the boy was so polite, there is no way to say no to him.

But instead of answering with words, you just brought your face closer to his, making you lips meet. Dacre instantaneously kissed you back. 

Your hands found a place on his neck, while his wandered around your body... Your back, then your neck and finally  to your ass, slightly grabbing it, driving you crazy.

He broke the kiss to hug you and whispered on your ear:

“I think we should repeat nights like this. What do you think?”

“I’m totally in.”- you whispered back.

[sueboohscorner]

#JaneTheVirgin Chapter 55: Life Goes On

Chapter 55

 Inhala. Exhala. First episode since…Gaaaaaaaaah! I can’t do this, I thought I could, but I…I need a sexy but stern Rafael with a beard to tell me to get over myself and write this dang recap.

The intro starts in darkness. Alba’s voice gently reminds us it will always feel different. It's two weeks after Michael's death and Jane is in bed crying about to spiral into a dark depression. Jane and Alba now have something awful in common; they’re both widows.  Jane asks Alba how she survived losing the love of her life and Alba tells Jane that she had no choice, she had to be strong.  Alba and Jane look at Mateo and Jane realizes she has to be strong for Mateo. Little by little jane moves forward.

Three years later, Jane gets ready for the wedding.  She’s nervous, but MICHAEL’S PICTURE TELLS HER SHE’S GOT THIS.  Gah. Gaaah!

The wedding turns out to be…no one’s really. Ugh, the writers psyched us into thinking someone on this show other than Jane was mature enough to enter into holy matrimony and it's a dang reality-TV wedding.  Rogelio and Darci are happily-ever-aftering on their hit show, The De La Factor Factor. Rogelio tells Darci her love is like winning the lottery and he got “the lump sum of her love.” Ha!  But it’s all fake, because DARCI AND ROGELIO HATE EACH OTHER WITH THE WHITE HOT INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS. This is a gyp! Justina and Jaime have mad chemistry and the JTV writers are really cheating themselves by keeping these two apart just because Rogelio loves Xiomara. Yeah. Ro is still in love with Xo.

Random people on the street have been throwing Big Gulps on Xo for trying to break up Dargelio (me: #Team Dargelio). Xo has actually been quite happy with Bruce in their snazzy love nest, but the producers of De La Factor Factor have edited the reality show to make it look like Xo is the problem.  Darci and Ro are also childless because of fertility problems. But didn’t Darci freeze her young, ready-to-be fertilized eggs?

Jane is late for the tv wedding because MATEO IS A DEMON!  Jane is lovely in a peach evening dress, but

Mateo is running around in nothing but his drawers like 21 Pilots at the Grammys.  Jane has a weather-based “system” to get Mateo to behave. She claps thunder and if Mateo fails to obey, it’s a rainy day. Girl, I guess. Mateo has gone from the terrible twos to the freakin’ awful fours.  There is lots of thunder and rainy days. His teachers want to get him a shadow to help him get his act together. New Mateo is cute; when he said “I’m sorry I’m a bad boy,” I was like, okay, he can stay. But Jane should consider a hand to the bottom.

Or some advice from Petra. Because PETRA IS THE WORLD’S SECOND BEST MOTHER OF TWINS. (The first is Beyoncé. C’mon, you knew that.) Ellie and Anna are angels and like Blue Ivy, they have a successful mom to look up to.  In addition to being the head of the PTA, Petra has rebranded the Marbella as the second happiest place on earth, a kind of kid-friendly luxury hotel with pirates and parrots and adventures. Petra can’t be too perfect, so she hate-bangs the skeevy guy who owns the adult-themed hotel (the All the Way Inn?) next door.

Rafael is fine. He has a beard. Rafael is fine with or without facial hair, but I do like the beard.  Raf was released from prison totally zen-ed out (must have been federal prison).  Nothing upsets him. He lets Petra handle the Marbella and he tries to find solutions for Mateo’s problems rather than worrying. Oh, and he’s got a girlfriend, Abbey, WHO OWNS A GREETING CARD COMPANY.  Hahahahaha!  That’s funny to me for reasons only I get. But it’s funny. I don’t like Abbey. She seems to be the buffer that keeps Jane in the friend-zone.  Just a couple episodes ago, Rafael was shirtless on top of Catalina and now he’s watching Lifetime TV with Helen of Hallmark.

Jane still has Faith M. Whiskers III! And she still has her dream job, only it’s a nightmare.  Jane’s boss is demanding, but when there’s an opening in an author reading series, Jane screws her courage to the sticking post and submits her novel for consideration. Rafael convinces Jane to enroll Mateo in martial arts (Ellie and Anna take classes) and the discipline seems to help.

Ro turns down another season of DLVFF and a guaranteed chance to star in The Passions of Steve (instead of Rob Lowe) because he doesn’t want Xo vilified. And it turns out Dargelio didn’t have fertility problems; Ro wasn’t sure he wanted to be permanently connected to Darci through a child. Because he loves Xo. That’s where this is going. Snoooze.  Let Xo be happy with Boring Bruce and give us Dargelio!

Mateo is so bad, he doesn’t get an invite to his classmate’s birthday party. Raf talks Petra into convincing the boys mom to invite Mateo to the party.  MATEO KARATE CHOPS THE BIRTHDAY CAKE.  Mateo would’ve got snatched had he been my son. This is annoying. Mothers who can’t see their bad-ass kids are bad are annoying.

Jane thinks Mateo acts out because she was too distracted by her grief to properly care for him. Petra assures her that’s not true. It turns out the day Rafael went to jail, Jane and Petra promised each other an our-baby-daddy-is-in-jail mutual support brunch every week. They helped each other get through Rafael’s incarceration. Awww.

Jane gets a chance to read from her novel!  The night before, Abuela tucks her in. And when she’s alone JANE LISTENS TO A MESSAGE FROM MICHAEL. About oranges. Gah! Gaaaaah! I ugly cried.  I couldn’t breathe.  I was worried the show was getting silly with Mateo and the cake, the Marbella and the pirates, but these moments of genuine grief and sadness and the very real feeling of missing Michael are a perfect  counterpoint to the light and fluffy stuff. Gah.

Turns out Jane’s novel isn’t the story of the Villanueva women; it’s the story of Jane and Michael, Snow Falling. And it’s a romance novel. Everybody shows up, even professor Donaldson who loves the novel. The reading goes well—Jane gets a deal! (Wait, does this make JANE the narrator?)

Petra, who had been trying to get the skeevy guy next door to sign an easement or emolument or something, realizes something and everything works out. I’m horrible with plot. But Yael Grobglas is a frickin’ amazing actress. Know this. When she fought for the easement telling Skeevy Guy that the New Marbella was the first thing that was all hers and she did it for her daughters, that was a great actress making a weak plot point work.

The Marbella Pirate leads the hotel’s children on a fun treasure hunt (in verse, too!) that leads them to the beach where they dig up SCOTT’S CORPSE!!!  Petra said earlier that Scott and Anezka broke up and Scott disappeared. I thought he went off with Michael’s brother and Lina, you know, to that big abandoned story-line in the sky, but SCOTT IS DEAD and since he was blackmailing Petra, she’s probably the main suspect…dun-Dun-DUNNN!

I give this eppy, on a scale of 1-10, a 7.  Last week’s episode was a 10.  This episode felt like we were back to setting up the story pins and, this far into the season, I’m ready to bowl! But the Michael moments were such nice touches and Petra’s story-line earned this eppy a 7.    I could have used more Rogelio and more info about this Abbey woman. But I guess that’s next week.

What do you think? Leave a comment!

XO,

Kellybelle