#listen aldfkl;fdja;ldkjfalskfj;fdlsk

[lovelyirony]

I Can Handle Iced Coffee

Bucky Barnes was the best cop in the New York City area. Hands down. Not just because he had a menacing-looking metal arm that glinted in yellow streetlamps at night when he got guys money laundering or a trade-off of drugs. 

What they didn’t know was that Bucky Barnes was also the goddamned softest nerd. He ate something he cooked for dinner each night, usually something with chicken in it because it was the cheapest option at the grocery store. He listened to old swing music sometimes. 

And he always came to a coffee shop off of the precinct where there were soft lights, purple accents, and quite a cute barista/manager. His name was Bruce. He had curly hair, light stubble, and big glasses sometimes. 

Bucky came in every day because Bruce made the best damned iced coffee in the area. The fact that he also knew Bucky by name and had his coffee ready to go was only a bonus.  

So yeah. Sure. Bucky thought that Bruce was cute. And he basically went to the coffee shop and tipped two dollars every day on a three dollar drink. Because that’s just nice. 

Bruce always sees Bucky Barnes every single morning at seven sharp. His shirt is pristine, ironed to a crisp. Hat at a jilted angle, and god Bruce thought he’d never like seeing a man in a uniform. But Bucky was a different sort of man. He was a cute man, and that made a world of a difference.  

He always put Bruce in a good mood. He would smile, put two dollars neatly folded into the tip jar that Thor had decorated with very intricate paper flowers. “Wednesday night shifts are completely dead,” he said with a shrug when asked about it. “Besides, your guy will appreciate the decoration.�� 

Bucky does. He compliments it. Bruce shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose and hands him his iced coffee. Val says that if Bruce really wants to up his ante, he can start giving Bucky a free iced coffee, but Bruce thinks that may be a bit too forward.

“You’re such a nerd,” Val says, bopping Bruce on the nose. “Good thing I’m around. I’ll get you the date.” 

“Val NO!” Bruce yells. “Nope, not doing that.” 

“Oh come on. He comes in with his uniform all neat and his hat at an angle, and he gets you all hot and bothered under the apron. It’s natural. Just didn’t know you had a type. Good thing Thor cut his hair.” 

“I could still get Bruce to fall for me with this hair, it’s cool,” Thor brags. 

“No you couldn’t,” Val said. “You look stupid.” 

“Shut up or I’ll take your tips when you forget them because a cute customer flustered you to the point of uselessness.” 

“Shut up, she was hotter than you’ll ever be.” 

“And yet you didn’t get her number. Interesting.” 

“Both of you get to work,” Bruce says. “I’m not staying half an hour late because you forgot to clean out the machines. Let’s go.” Thor and Val grin at each other as they move around the shop, finding work to do and taking orders. 

Bucky thinks he needs better friends. Sam and Natasha are assholes about it. Steve keeps mentioning it when there’s no need to do so. They’re supposed to be investigating a robbery but no, they just have to mention Bruce every five seconds. 

“This is, like, the first crush you’ve had since the Cold War,” Natasha teases. “What’s his name?” 

“Not telling you.” 

“Why not? Afraid I’ll steal his heart?” Sam says. “Because I could.” 

“Your face looks like a sack of bird seed, grainy and only old people buy it. Fuck off.” 

“We just wanna know about the barista at your coffee shop that you refuse to tell anyone about,” Steve says. “All I know is that his name begins with a ‘B’ and you like the iced coffee he makes.” 

“Barnes, it’s like forty degrees outside.” 

“I’m not a weak bitch Wilson, I can handle my ice. Can you?” Sam just laughs and rolls his eyes. Natasha is already on her phone. 

“Bruce Banner?” His shoulders stiffen. Damn him. Natasha crows in delight as she pumps her fist. “Knew it. Looks your type. Soft guy, geeky glasses. Probably makes science puns.” 

“If you try to meet him, I will end you.” 

“I won’t. I’m just going to watch him from a table menacingly until one of the employees asks me to leave.” 

“Val will kick your ass. Look her up next.” 

“...holy shit. Abort mission.” 

Bucky sighs. His friends are...interesting. He hates that they’re so invested in his love life. 

Bucky Barnes comes in full dress. He says there’s a ceremony. “My squad caught some thief ring,” he says. “Not a big deal as they make it out to be.” 

“Awfully fancy dress for not a big deal,” Bruce says. “Congratulations. Iced coffee. On the house. For you. Um. No charge.” 

Bruce sometimes hates himself. Mainly because he can’t act normally around anyone besides maybe Tony, Thor, or Valkyrie. Sometimes Pepper. 

Bucky gives him a smile. And Bruce knows it’s all over. Full-blown crush on cute police guy. He’s going to die. 

“You gave him free coffee,” Val says. “That’s a plus.” 

“I’m going to die,” Bruce says. “I’ve accepted it. Tell Sharon she’ll have to make the schedules from now on.” 

Bucky walks in with his free coffee and a big grin. 

“I got free coffee.” 

“Where from?” Natasha demands. “Who can I get it from?” 

“Not from where I got it.” 

“Oh my god, Bruce gave you free coffee?” 

“For the event. That we’re all in.” Natasha grins. 

“Look at you nerds. Trying to interact and shit. It’s cute.” Bucky shrugs. 

He accepts the medal. His picture gets in the paper. (Bruce doesn’t Buy The Newspaper to Stare at the Picture. That is Stupid and Not Backed Up with Facts.) 

“I liked the article,” Bruce says softly the next morning. Bucky nods. 

“They got my good side in that one,” Bucky says. “But you know what else I’d like?” 

“He wants your number!” Thor cuts in. “Sorry, I just ruined that. Oops. Oh well. You’ll get over it, because you’re finally getting Policeman’s number.” Bruce sighs and rubs his eyes. Bucky grins as he hands his phone to Bruce. 

“You really do want my number?” Bruce asks. 

“How else am I gonna talk to you about something other than work or coffee?” Bucky responds with a soft smile. Bruce smiles to himself as soon as he sees him leave the coffee shop, looking down at his phone. 

Hey, it’s me from...two seconds ago. I’m wondering if it’s too soon to schedule a date. You free Sunday night? 

I’m free that day. 

Score.

They’re both nerds. Bucky cooks chicken for their first “at-home date.” He burns it, curses up a storm, and Bruce laughs so hard he nearly chokes on water. They can’t even stop laughing to call for takeout food, so they’re on the floor laughing. 

Bucky wakes up every morning to a good morning kiss from Bruce as he heads out the door to open. Bucky greets him in the shop with a kiss on the lips and two dollars in tips. 

It’s quite nice.