#listen 90% of people refer to me with masculine pronouns when they see me and feminine pronouns when they hear me speak

[the-catboy-minyan]

You're female, lol

how about you come over and find out? ;)

4/10

[balemouns]

lord arlecchino.

or: is 'he/him lesbian' in arle's doss a joke? not really!

prior to her reveal/appearance in a winter night's lazzo, eng localization referred to arlecchino with masculine formal pronouns when she was mentioned in world quests involving children from the house of the hearth, particularly in the very special fortune slip world quests in inazuma. but rejecting the localization fix that followed winter night's lazzo, I think it actually makes a lot of sense for arlecchino to prefer some masculine pronouns. this would include more formal pronouns such as sir, lord, and of course the big canon one, father.

considering what else we know about her ( manner of dress, depth in her voice across different dubs, mannerisms ), what we can study from her character model ( the unique gait she has for the tall female skeleton, for instance ) it should be pretty reasonable to think arlecchino's pronoun use ( not necessarily gender identity ) is a little complicated. so, while my writing will usually use she/her as her primary informal pronoun ( though he/him is fine ), she does prefer to be addressed with more masculine titles over feminine ones such as lady, ma'am, and so on. one exception aside from using she/her while describing her is probably mr. vs. ms., where ms. would probably be the default she'd use. your character isn't expected to know this if they don't know her well, and she likely won't correct it until she knows your character better if that's the case.

to be clear, he/him lesbianism ( or in arlecchino's case, more like she/him lesbianism ) is a legit form of pronoun nonconformity that can apply to certain wlw that does not invalidate or contradict their lesbianism. these are people who see themselves as women, but use he/him to some degree as their preferred pronouns.

and as for the lesbianism: please...........,,,, just........ listen to the difference in her voicelines in terms of how she talks about like 90% of her female canon relations versus her male canon relations ( outside of her kids ofc ) and tell me this isn't like. the butchest woman in teyvat. i dare you. most ladies? has interesting thoughts or almost sounds fond. almost all the men? either strictly professional, don't give a shit, or would rather kill them (but won't, for now).

[box-0f-cats]

1-130....❤

SEXUALITY & COMING OUT:1. How do you define your sexuality? Bisexual 2. What pronouns do you use to identify yourself? She/her 3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls? 134. At what age did you come to terms with your sexuality? 155. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization? Gradual realization6. How did your sexuality make you feel before you came out? Nervous, embarrassed, emotional 7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality? Surrounding myself around people who were comfortable with it8. At what age did you first come out?139. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? My mum, not very well. She saw texts on my phone10. Do your parents know about your sexuality? Yes11. How out are you? The whole way12. Do you now identify as something different than when you first came out? No, although people presume I'm a lesbian alot13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know? I don't think anyone already knew 14. Has coming out lost you any friends?Yes 15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality? That depends on the person 16. How difficult do you find it to sympathize with straight women? Not very17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? Only before i came out 18. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. Disagree 19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls? I think about my girlfriend 24/720. Do you think it is possible to be a true 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed towards one gender? I think it depends on the person21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl? Every time I'm on skype 22. How accurate is your gaydar?Pretty accurate RELATIONSHIPS & DATING:23. What is your current relationship status? Basically a married old couple24. What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person?4 years, no25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl? Yes26. Are you a virgin? If not, what gender did you lose your virginity to? No, male27. What is your ideal first date? Somewhere you can talk, doesn't have to be expensive but somewhere/something that you both enjoy going/doing28. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Trusting29. How flirty are you? Not very, more sarcastic 30. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? Yes31 Do you want have children someday? Maybe32. Would you ever want to give birth?Maybe33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?a lot34. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? Yep35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? Yep36. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? Alot37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes38. Have you ever dated a guy? Yes 39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Yes Have you? No 40. Has another girl ever hit on you? Yes41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? No 42. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s significantly older than you? Yes43. Would you ever date a trans woman? I haven't ever thought about it44. Have you ever had a profile on a LGBT dating website or app? No45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? In my case.. here or at a festival..46. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to? No, only when i cant be arsed with straightening my hair48. Is your nose pierced? No49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings? I love them50. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? Yes, a plane with a love heart, on my forearm51. How muscular are you? Very little 52. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? No53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay? I've been told i don't look gay54. Have you ever been mistaken as a dude?NoFASHION STYLE:55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? Nope56. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often? Sometimes, when going out for drinks57. How much jewelry do you typically wear? A necklace 58. How much makeup do you typically wear? Only when going out for drinks 59. How often do you wear a bra? Everyday60. How often do you wear flannel?not often61. Have you ever worn a suit? No62. Do you wear any shoes such as combat boots, Doc Martins or Timberlands? No63. Do you carry a purse? No64. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? Sometimes 65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? Yes66. Have you ever dressed in complete drag? No67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? Yes68. If you want to get married, do you think you will wear a dress? YesENTERTAINMENT:69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? Ellen70. Have you ever watched The L Word? Yes71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace? Yes72. Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? No73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television? Not often, if they are it's hidden alot 74. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? Not really75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? Yes 76. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed movie? No77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website? No78. Do you read any LGBT magazines? No79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations? No80. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? I'm sure there is, out there somewhere, not directed by a manTHIS OR THAT:81. Boobs or butts? Depends on the person82. Beer or wine? Beer83. Ellen or Portia? EllenBEING (SOMEWHAT) RANDOM:84. How much do you like cats? Not lots85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? Yes, once 86. How many LGBT friends do you have? Not a lot87. Do you have any LGBT relatives? Yes88. Have you ever used any words (or variations of) such as lesbian, queer, gay, or homosexual as a password? No89. How outdoorsy are you? I do like to be, but I'm not often90. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or pickup truck? No91. How many rainbow items do you own? None92. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11)? No93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? No94. Have you ever attended a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) type of club? No95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting? No96. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? Yes97. Have you ever been part of a softball team? No98. Do you skateboard or longboard at all? No, i used to skateboard99. Do you play any video games? Not oftenFROM 1-10, HOW ATTRACTIVE ARE:100. Muscular women? I don't look at sizes or muscles/ femininity to decide how attractive someone is101. Women who wear glasses? 10102. Women who are covered with tattoos? 10 103. Women who are covered with piercings? 10104. Curvy/plus-sized women? Question 100105. Women with short hair? 10106. Highly intelligent women? 10107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)? 10108. Masculine/butch women? See 100Just because someone has tattoos, glasses ect doesn't make them attractive, although i am extremely in love with someone who has both - Looks are nothing without personality GETTING SERIOUS:109. What does equality mean to you? I believe in equal rights, women and men should have equal values and be able to do so without being judged 110. Do you consider yourself a feminist? No 111. Do you eat meat at all? Most meat112. Are you religious at all? No113. How do you feel about the terms “woman crush” and “girl crush”? It doesn't bother me114. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? It kind of annoys me115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic? It's kind of annoying, if used by someone that's homophobic. Otherwise it doesn't bother me116. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, homo, or tranny? Those words annoy the life out of me117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? If you identify yourself as a female, regardless of surgery you should be able to use female bathrooms118. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? No, it should be allowed just like any heterosexual man or woman.119. Have you ever been called a gay slur? Yes120. Have you ever been queer bashed? Yes121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. No122. Does it really get better? Yes123. Americans: How did you feel on June 26, 2015?124. How accepting of LGBT people is the city/community you live in? It has its moments 125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”? No126. How annoyed are you with how heteronormative society is? 127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with? 128. Is there anything about the LGBT community that you wish you knew before coming out? No129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?130. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to come out? Just wait until you feel like you're ready. Not to be afraid of everyones response

[hollyzone]

LGBT+ History Month - a playlist

(Something I wrote for work about LGBT+ History Month which I thought I could also share here. The theme was write about a short playlist of songs which means something to you as an LGBTQ+ person.)

For LGBT+ History Month I’ve picked songs which track the evolution of openness in the lyrics of LGBT”+ artists over my own music-listening life. When I first started getting into music it was the mid 1990s and Britpop, alt rock and cheesy 90s dance were my thing, along with the Spice Girls cos obviously, I was a young girl. Back then, few were the LGBTQ+ artists who were overt in their lyrics. Even the ones who were out would lean heavily on the second person pronouns in their songs or sing about something which wasn’t straightforward romantic stuff.

Even when I started uni in 2003, the slight increase in out queer musicians hadn’t translated to quite so much lyrical obviousness. It’s telling that a lot of the romantic songs I identified with lyrically when I was younger were written by straight men, because at least they were about women.

I also got really really good at sussing out when a female musician was queer before they had confirmed it. Clues like never using third person pronouns, the adjectives they picked when singing about someone in the second person, and the visual imagery were the things I picked over as I sought out representation which wasn’t k.d. lang (no shade on k.d. but I am not a country fan).

For my playlist I have picked five songs which track this evolution over the course of the c21st so far. From the subtle to the outrageous, the low key hints to the big declaration of queerness.

1.       The Organ – ‘Love Love Love’ (2004)

The Organ jangled and cried for just one album, a tenure so brief that I didn’t even get to see them live (I made it to within 24 hours of seeing them at Leeds Festival but they cancelled and were replaced with The View, in one of music’s greatest crimes). They sounded like a female Smiths, right down to Katie Sketch’s mournful vocals, and they appeared in an episode of The L Word. And yet, the year was 2004 and so there’s not a sign of “she” or “her” in their short, melancholic album. There are songs about men but none sound romantic. There are songs about love but none sound happy. Sketch moved on to run a lesbian bar in Toronto. We all knew and yet to this day their Wikipedia page doesn’t even have the ‘LGBT musician’ tag.

Sample lyrics: “Oh love, love, I’d really like a small part of that, Oh love, I can’t believe the word love.”

2.       Ladyhawke – ‘Manipulating Woman’ (2008)

There is a track on super-shy, Kiwi indie musician Ladyhawke (real name Pip Brown) called ‘Manipulating Woman’ which managed to perfectly describe a real-life lesbian drama which erupted in my friendship circle around the time it came out. There were other clues about Ladyhawke’s sexuality – the tomboyish style, the use of second person pronouns in all her love songs – but it was the way ‘Manipulating Woman’ captured the exhausting drama of having to keep a toxic person in your friendship group because the pool of queer friends isn’t huge and it felt back in 2008 that you had to put up with these rotten apples as a price of not being ejected from the queer in-group. Luckily today it’s easier to find groups of queer people to share actual interests with.

Sample lyrics: “You're so completely twisted, you're so completely evil, you're so completely wrong, but here I am still stuck with you with you.”

3.       Austra – ‘Young And Gay’ (2011)

Did the mood change with the decade? It certainly felt by the 2010s that queer female musicians were more comfortable with being out once they were established, but there were definitely some who seemed to be holding back their exact sexual identity just to be sure. And then there was Canadian synthpop group Austra, who put out a debut EP with a track called ‘Young And Gay’. The lyrics are rather abstract, to the point where they didn’t need to call it anything queer. But they did, they were upfront and direct, singer Katie Stelmanis talking openly about being a lesbian from her very first interviews. Personally, I found it delightful, throwing sexual identity out there and being direct because why not?

Sample lyrics: “In my head, the fool in you will know.”

4.       Christine and the Queens – ‘Tilted’ (2016)

If the 2000s were a pathway to queer female artists feeling like they could loudly proclaim that they were attracted to women without backlash from (open-minded and decent) music lovers, then the 2010s have seen more and more queer female artists opening up to lyrically challenging stereotypes about what women are like. For me, being queer doesn’t just mean I like women, I am also a gender non-conforming cis woman, I have grown from the diddy tomboy of my earliest years into someone who just doesn’t play well with gender norms while also feeling 100% female (and totally respecting those who reject the gender binary). Hence my unending love for Christine’s ‘Tilted’ which isn’t just about queer love but about queer identity and living in your queer skin. Also dancing. It’s about dancing. Very important.

Sample lyrics: “But I’m actually good, can’t help it if we’re tilted.”

5.       Anna Calvi – ‘Chain’ (2018) + Janelle Monae – ‘PYNK’ (2018)

Cheating slightly by having two songs, but these illustrate the same point beautifully. Both Anna Calvi and Janelle Monae were, by 2018, big names with several albums under their belts and mainstream followings. Both had distinctively queer stylings (Calvi’s masculine flamenco attire, Monae’s suits) and honestly, I had, correctly, assumed both were queer from the first time I saw them. Over the decade, they had both gone from slightly coded queerness, lyrical references with just enough plausible deniability, and a tendency not to talk about their personal lives, to being very VERY queer. When they released two of 2018’s best albums (Hunter and Dirty Computer) they were also releasing two of its queerest. Both records glorious. Both contain moment after moment which resonate with me. And both are incredibly hard to quote from in a safe-for-work way!

Sample lyrics: ‘Chains’ – “I’ll be the boy, you be the girl, I’ll be the girl, you be the boy” + ‘PYNK’ – “Pynk behind all of the doors, crazy!”

[gaycoruscant]

91 Questions Tag

Thanks to Liv ( @sixty-seven-protons ) for tagging me to answer this mountain of random facts

THE LAST – 
 1. Drink: Water
 2. Phone call: My friend trying to tell me I was late for a band meeting (yikes!)
 3. Text message: Jon, quote: “oh” as said in reference to being decked in front of the emoji movie theater.
 4. Song I listened to: “DKLA” by Troye Sivan
 5. Time you cried: Idk, Thursday??? Last Wednesday????? Something like that.

HAVE YOU EVER –
 6. Dated someone twice: No
 7. Been cheated on: No I’ve always been a single pringle 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope
 9. Lost someone special: I guess
 10. Been depressed: Yeah tb to November when it was real bad
 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS –
 12. The yellow color of a ripe wheat field in the sunset
 13. Forest green
 14. Sapphire blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU –
 15. Made new friends: Yeah! I went from having friends who were only friends at school to having actual people to hang out with, plus a few more
 16. Fallen out of love: I’ve fallen out of crushes
 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep. It was with that shittyflute Toxic video. Look it up. It will CHANGE you.
 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not really, no
 19. Met someone who changed you: Hell yeah @ my friends
 20. Found out who your true friends were: For the most part.

MORE – 
 21. Kissed someone on your facebook? No I don’t have facebook
 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? Zero, as in I have no facebook and no facebook friends
 23. Do you have any pets? My dog Lucy!!!
 24. Do you want to change your name? Not really anymore but there was a time where I wished I was named Tara
 25. What did you do on your last birthday? Fucking band camp
 26. What time did you wake up? 8 in the morning (thanks, band)
 27. What were you doing at midnight? Drowning myself in the sweet sweet voice of Troye Sivan
 28. Name something you can’t wait for: To hang out with my friends in a few days
 29. When was the last time you saw your mother? Yesterday
 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I’d make my good ol’ Texas small town more gay-friendly
 31. What are you listening to right now? Wind chimes
 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? No.
 33. Something that is getting on your nerves? Unwanted questions from family members.
 34. Most visited site: This wonderful hellsite

SCHOOL – 
 35. Elementary: The good ol’ days. My gay self was gay as FUCK back then but did anyone know? No. Did anyone care? No. But I was happy with all my friends and we gossiped and played games like lava monster at recess. Then FIFTH GRADE comes along and, story time! Toxic masculinity (aka my brother) makes a stupid comment that goes “why are all your friends girls” in that stupid prepubescent boy mocking voice and my submissive childhood self gives in and decides to change to be “more like the other boys” and that is where my life went to hell.
 36. Middle: OH BOY!!! Puberty + new school + new insecurities thanks to my new friend Toxic Masculinity = a very bad few years
 37. High: To summarize: Fuck masculinity I’m gonna be GAY and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from being my feminine self (except force me to hide myself from homophobes)
 38. College: A Concept: I go a prestigious high-end Ivy League, 3000 miles away from the homophobes I deal with daily. I get a nice boyfriend and we live a nice apartment together. We love each other very much and help each other in our studies and we support each other’s artistic endeavors. I graduate top of my class and become a well off scientist/poet and we get paid well enough to marry at age twenty-eight and pay off our student loans by the same time. Life is gay. Life is good.

ME – 
 39. Hair color: Dirty blond
 40. Long or short hair? It’s short
 41. Do you have a crush on someone? Not right now
 42. What do you like about yourself? My mind (mostly). My body? Not so much
 43. Piercings? Nah I’m good
 44. Blood type: ???????????? Bitch I don’t know
 45. Nickname: One friend called me Nowickipedia and it kind of caught on
 46. Relationship status: www.pringles.com
 47. Zodiac sign: Leo
 48. Pronouns: Honestly I don’t care. He/him is what I’ve used most of my life (thanks, assigned gender! 🙃) but she/her is fine and they/them is ok too.
 49. Favorite TV show(s): STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS & STAR WARS: REBELS (God I’m such a nerd)
 50. Tattoos: No
 51. Right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? Right handed, but I text and use my phone with my left hand and all my other right handed family members think I’m crazy.

FIRST – 
 52. Surgery: None
 53. Piercing: None
 54. Sport: Flag football fourth grade (see 35, subject: masculinity and a desire to “fit in”)
 55. Vacation: Disneyland
 56. Pair of trainers: What is this asking? First pair of physical trainers to help me pump iron??? (Actually it’s probably shoes but who calls shoes trainers??)

CURRENT – 
 57. Eating: Nothing
 58. Drinking: Nothing
 59. I’m about to: ????? No plans just sit at home all day
 60. Listening to: The AC

FUTURE – 
 61. Waiting for: A horribly sappy romantic subplot to happen sometime in the next ten years
 62. Want: To see my friends
 63. Married: Hopefully
 64. Career: Paleontologist? Astrobiologist? Poet? So many options I need to decide.

YOUR TYPE – 
 65. Hugs or kisses? Hugs, but only because I’ve never kissed anyone
 66. Lips or eyes? Eyes 100000% I wrote a song and like thirty poems about them so….
 67. Shorter or taller? Taller probably because I went out in public and everyone was shorter than me and I got a bunch of dysphoria surrounding that so yeah (but honestly it doesn’t matter)
 68. Older or younger? I don’t care
 69. Nice arms or nice stomach? Both. A nice stomach to use as a pillow and nice arms that can hold me tight.
 70. Sensitive or loud? Idk
 71. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship. No sex-repulsed hopeless romantic like me is settling for one night of doing it dirty.
 72. Troublemaker or hesitant? Idk 73. Kissed a stranger? No way
 74. Drank hard liquor? Nope nope nope alcohol is disgusting
 75. Lost contact lenses/glasses? No
 76. Turned someone down? Once when I was still in the closet and I found out a guy had a crush on me but my homophobic brother knew he had a crush and told me so when the boy finally got enough guts to ask me to homecoming I went into panic mode and said no (sorry!) 77. Sex on first date? Nooooooooooo way. Sex would have to be like seven months in when we’ve gotten used to chillin with each other and got past at least twelve dates.
 78. Broken someone’s heart? Maybe. (See 76)
 79. Had your heart broken? Oh boy yeah when I had my first crush on a boy (the crushes on girls before don’t count they were influenced by Toxic masculinity) I ended up telling him and I was Devastated™ but is that heartbreak if it’s a crush? Idk.
 80. Been arrested? Nope
 81. Cried when someone died? See Padme Amidala’s funeral, Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005).
 82. Fallen for a friend? The only way I’ve ever crushed on someone

DO YOU BELIEVE IN – 
 83. Yourself? For like a few days at a time
 84. Miracles? Ehh sort of
 85. Love at first sight? Yes
 86. Santa Claus? No
 87. Kiss on first date? Wait until the fourth
 88. Angels? @ my friends (mutuals = friends)

OTHER – 
 89. Current best friend’s name: I refuse to put just one!
 90. Eye color: Blue
 91. Favorite movie: Jurassic Park, Star Wars: the Complete Saga, Interstellar, Arrival, Mulan

I tag @vanillabeanniall @uswntinharmony @knightcrawlers @rogueleadxr @apple-bottom-dean @solitudeontatooine and any other mutuals I have who want to do this

[seanmalatesta]

4 Must-Have Traits in Every Person You Hire

Most leaders I’ve met want to build a high-performance organization. Instinctively, they know that this requires great people. But few of them have ever taken the time to define exactly what they are looking for when it comes to the ideal candidate.

Good leaders begin the recruiting process with a written job description. This generally includes the required educational experience and technical skills. But great leaders do more than this. They take a step back and look at the baseline qualities of the candidate.

They ask questions like—

What kind of employees are we trying to attract?

What kind of people will get the results we want and others expect?

What kind of people do we want to surround ourselves with?

What kind of people will contribute to the culture we are trying to build?

Warm bodies are obviously not enough. Better-than-average won’t get you there either. Even “really good people” are insufficient. You need higher standards if you are going to achieve your mission.

As I have thought about this, I have reduced these high standards to a sort of formula: H3S.

I want to fill my company with people who are humble, honest, hungry, and smart. The “h” in the word “high” represents the first three attributes. The “s” in the word “standards” represents the last attribute. All are equally important, but let me expound on each of them separately.

For simplicity sake, I’m going to use the masculine pronoun below, but it should be understood that the ideal candidate may, of course, be either a man or a woman. Gender is irrelevant.

Humble

Humble people have a good sense of himself. They don’t think more highly of themselves than they should (pride), nor lower than they ought (poor self-esteem). They are sober-minded, having a realistic grip on their strengths and weaknesses.

They do not exhibit self-ambition. They might be ambitious for the cause, company, or team, but they’re not ambitious for themselves. They aren’t overly concerned about their title, status, or position relative to others.

Humble people assume the posture of a learner and don’t pretend to know more than they do. It never crosses their mind that they may be the smartest person in the room.

They respect other points of view and asks questions to make sure that they understand an idea before criticizing it. They make other people feel smart and competent.

They are others-centered, no matter who the other person is. They acknowledge “the little people,” those that are easily overlooked by everyone else. They are valued and treated as peers.

Whenever I hire an executive, I always like to take him or her to dinner. I am always interested to see how they treat the host, the waiters, and even the busboys. Will they be curt? Demanding or brusque? Does they treat the people who serve them with dignity? Do they even notice them? Are they appreciative?

I am always leery of people who suck-up to those they want something from and disrespect everyone else. There’s no explaining it away. This is a character flaw. I have no patience for it, and I don’t want someone like that working in my organization.

Humble people are open to correction and not defensive. They are quick to admit mistakes and apologize. They know how to say, “I am sorry. What I did was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” Everyone makes mistakes. The truly humble try to make it right. Usually, they have had plenty of practice.

They are conscious of the contributions others have made to their life, career, and achievement. They are quick to give credit and express sincere gratitude. Conversely, when others compliment them, they offer a simple thank-you, without making a big fuss about it.

Finally, they do not consider certain jobs to be beneath them. They see what needs to be done, pitch in, and are just happy to be part of the team.

Honest

As Dr. Stephen R. Covey points out in The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People:

Honesty is telling the truth—in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words—in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life. (195–196)

When I use the term honesty, I am referring to both honesty and integrity.

At the most basic level, honest people not lie, exaggerate, or misrepresent the facts. Spin control is a foreign concept. So is bragging. If anything, they are given to understatement, especially about their own accomplishments.

They do not withhold negative information but give you the good, the bad, and the ugly. They have the courage to face reality head on and make their words conform to it. They would never ask someone else to lie on their behalf or cover for them.

They are also honest in giving others feedback. They are able to be direct without being hurtful. They don’t say anything about those who are absent that they wouldn’t say if they were present. They avoid drama.

Finally, honest people keep their commitments, even when it is difficult, expensive, or inconvenient. If they said they’d do it, they do. You can take it to the bank.

Early in my career, I was able to land the job as a marketing director at one of the larger publishing houses. The only problem was that I didn’t have any experience. None!

So my new boss put me on an informal 90-day probationary period. He said, “Look, I think you will do fine, but let’s agree to a 90-day trial run. If everything goes as planned, I will give you a raise equal to 10 percent of your annual salary. If not, we’ll shake hands and part company as friends.” I enthusiastically agreed, rolled up my sleeves, and got to work.

Knowing that this was an enormous opportunity, I read everything I could on marketing. I worked hard. I got to the office early and left late. I was determined to prove to my boss that he had made the right decision.

At the end of the 90-day period, I was actually looking forward to my review. I knew I had exceeded his expectations. I was confident I would get the raise.

My boss called me into his office. After the usual pleasantries, he said, “Mike, you have done an outstanding job. You have exceeded my expectations in every way. I am very proud of you.”

“But I have one problem,” he continued. “Last week, our parent company instituted a salary and wage freeze. They have refused to consider any exceptions.”

My heart sank. Though I tried to appear professional, I’m sure that my disappointment was written all over my face.

Then he handed me an envelope and said the most amazing thing. “In that envelope is a check for the amount I promised you. It’s not from the company, but from me personally. I have discussed this with my wife, and we are both in agreement. You don’t have a choice about whether or not to accept it. So don’t even think about refusing. I made a commitment to you. You lived up to your end of the bargain—and then some—and I want to live up to mine.”

As a young businessman, that act made an enormous impression on me. Not only did it bond me to my boss—still one of my best friends—for life, it has provided concrete guidance in every tough decision I have ever made.

Hungry

A hungry person is someone with an appetite. Metaphorically speaking, their last meal is already a fading memory. They want to eat, and they want to eat now. All they can think about is food!

In other words, hungry people don’t dwell on past accomplishments. They are never satisfied. They’re always reaching for more—setting higher goals. They are driven to exceed whatever expectations have been imposed upon them. This is just a part of their make-up.

They are intellectually curious. They read constantly—news sources, magazines, and books. Lots of books. They love learning new things and sharing that learning with others.

Hungry people don’t get stuck in a rut. They’re open to new ideas and new ways of solving old problems. That means they’re always looking for the best solution and embrace change if it will take them—or the company—to a new level.

They come to meetings prepared, having completed their homework. In the meeting, they listen actively, asking lots of questions and taking notes. Afterward, they follow up. They complete assignments on time without someone having to prod them. They are relentless when it comes to execution.

In short, hungry people full out, holding nothing back. More than anything, they want to win and are willing to pay the price to do so.

Smart

Smart people usually score high on traditional IQ tests. But not always. You have to be careful. Some people are book-smart but street-stupid. I’d like to have both. But if forced to choose, I’ll take the street-smart candidate.

Smart people are a quick study. They can connect the dots without a lot of help. They have a natural ability to think laterally, that is, across disciplines. They can apply learning from one field or category to another.

They’re comfortable using metaphors and analogies. They know how to make complex subjects simple without confusing themselves and everyone else in the process.

I was a philosophy major. Some of the books I had to read were really difficult. I remember reading, re-reading, and then re-re-reading some particularly tough passages. Then it dawned on me. If this guy is so smart, why can’t he explain this in a way that is easy to follow? I concluded it was a case of  “the emperor having no clothes.”

In my experience, confusion often masquerades as complexity. Listening to an explanation, you might be tempted to think that you’re just not smart enough to understand the issue. In reality, the presenter may not understand it well enough to make it simple. I want people working for me who are smart enough to work through the complexity in order to arrive at a simple explanation.

Smart people also ask thoughtful questions. They see connections between topics that others miss. They are aware of nuances. And they have diverse interests, which come in handy when trying to understand new information.

They are also able to focus mentally, for long periods of time if necessary. They don’t give up quickly. They keep pressing until they gain clarity or insight. They are a creative problem solvers.

Finally, smart people have cognitive intelligence. That’s mostly what I have covered here. But that alone is not sufficient. In my opinion, a successful candidate also needs emotional, relational, and even spiritual intelligence to succeed.

Summary

It’s hard to find the buried treasure unless you have a map. It’s difficult to win a scavenger hunt unless you have a list. And it’s impossible to hire the right people unless you know exactly what you are looking for.

In my company, I want to hire people who are H3S: humble, honest, hungry, and smart. If I can do that consistently, I will build a great and enduring organization.

By the way, I have also developed a list of 25 questions to ask candidates. These questions help you discern whether or not he or she is the ideal candidate. You will find them, if you know what to look for.

from Michael Hyatt https://ift.tt/2Zw8dPX via IFTTT

[thomdunn]

Smash Mouth wrote “All Star” to warn about climate change & anti-intellectualism 20 years ago—and we turned it into a stupid meme.

Smash Mouth wrote “All Star” to warn about climate change & anti-intellectualism 20 years ago—and…

Medium · by Thom Dunn · August 24, 2018

It was the fall of 1998. Guy Fieri was preparing to open his second Johnny Garlic’s Restaurant, while his clone-twin, Steve Harwell, was in the studio with his bandmates wrapping up their sophomore album, “Astro Lounge.” Beyond the studio walls, military tensions were rising in North Korea, Pakistan, and Iraq, and a little company called Google had just opened up in Silicon Valley; but all anyone cared about were Bill Clinton’s blowjobs.

Smash Mouth had carefully curated the sonic landscape of their first hit single, “Walkin’ on the Sun,” to use as a musical weapon to avert the coming damages that would soon be caused by nuclear apocalypse and climate change. The dopeass organ riff was specifically designed to vibrate on a frequency that would deliver a message of peace, hope, and sustainability directly into the prefrontal cortex of anyone who heard it. Even the title of the song itself was a direct nod to threats of rising global temperatures largely caused by carbon and greenhouse gas emissions. Yet somehow, it failed to stop the dystopian vision of the future they had seen that one time after communing with too much California weed.

The members of Smash Mouth knew they had an obligation, as all pop-ska-rock groups do, to deliver a totally sick jam that would also save the world from its own impending doom.

And thus was born “All Star.”

 Unfortunately, we were all too stupid to figure out the idyllic message hidden in its rhythms. Something did resonate about the song, however. That cleverly diminished chord in the chorus took root in our heads and found new life as a sonic meme, a viral idea that would spread from person to person and perpetuate its own existence.

Rather than heeding the foreboding prophecy that Hartwell and his bandmate, songwriter-guitarist Greg Camp, laid out for us in that little earworm, we just used it to make “Smashups” and other esoteric Internet jokes.

We should have listened more closely.

Like Moses parting waters with the tablets of the Ten Commandments, the truth was revealed in a tweeted photo of the original handwritten lyrics:

#TBThursday #tbt Original "All Star" Lyrics by: @GregCampMusic pic.twitter.com/65zzzT3caG

— Smash Mouth (@smashmouth) February 9, 2017

As you can see, the last line of the chorus was originally different. Perhaps if Smash Mouth had left that line “Wave bye-bye to your soul” intact, rather than replacing it with “Only shooting stars break the mouooohuould,” then perhaps we could understood the truth sooner, and avoided the predicaments of our current political climate, just as they had intended.

When you look at the song line-by-line in this new context, it all makes sense.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed

From the very opening of the song, Steve Harwell invokes the imagery of some kind of higher power, and a greater global purpose — and the fact that humans are a bunch of fucking idiots by contrast. He cleverly plays on the idea of the “world” and “rolling me” to allude back to the days when people thought the world was flat, and how they mocked and ridiculed the scientists who tried to tell them otherwise.

She was looking kind of dumb with her finger & her thumb in the shape of an “L” on her forehead.

In every verse, the narrator stands in for humanity at large, and this case, humanity is largely a bunch of uneducated manual laborers who think that Galileo is the stupid one, standing there making the classic “loser” sign of the 90s. Except…what if he was actually measuring right angles, attempting to use the physical science to better understand the world?

But no; these anti-intellectual raptors go so far as to mock his masculinity, swapping out his gender pronouns like a trollish Twitter egg. “LOL what kinda loser believes in science?” they say with their French frog cartoon faces, willfully ignorant to the measurable truths of the natural world, and all of the potential it contains.

Well the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

This couplet is revealed as a critique of the US education system, and how for-profit agendas collude with Creationist beliefs through misleading text books that spread mass disinformation across the generations. From an early age, children are told not to break the mold, but instead to fall in line and maintain some preconceived sense of “order” that follows them from school into adulthood, when they start to scold the individuals and revolutionaries for not breaking rules in the “right” way.

This also alludes to the passage of time on a grander scale, and how the anti-intellectualism and stubborn war between science and religion would repeat themselves in endless cycles, even as mankind continues to grow and evolve. Rather than look back and learn from our past mistakes, humanity is encouraged to hit the ground running, and never to question anything—including the fact that we’ve dealt with all these same conflicts before.

Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

This is where Smash Mouth predicts the rise of “snowflake” as a pejorative. Imagine Galileo’s anti-intellectual haters mocking his gender while they chant, “Can’t you take a joke?”

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets?

Now we start getting into issues of carbon emissions and sustainability. Our narrator-as-stand-in-for-humanity is clearly coming from a position of privilege, with no concern about temporal or financial obligations—or the damages that his gas-guzzling joyride does to the planet. It’s generally accepted among climate scientists and activists that ecological catastrophe will have a disproportionate impact on marginalized groups, since the rich and powerful can always afford to shield themselves from the brunt of it in their ivory towers.

You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

These words are sung from the point-of-view of climate deniers, who seem to think that unless they, personally, can recognize the precise moment that a 2°C temperature change occurs, then there’s nothing to worry about. Worse, they think that something bad will happen if people stopped using carbon-based energy and greenhouse gases. Until the day that people start literally glowing in the aftermath of nuclear fallout, they’re not going to see a problem or care to prevent the seemingly inevitable.

Hey now, you’re an all-star, get your game on, go play Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

In true punk rock style, Smash Mouth invokes the anarchistic belief that Capitalism is a disease, and that overly-toxic economic competition is an impediment to peace and progress. It’s all about games and money.

The use of “gold” can also be read as a reference to oil as “liquid goal,” and the ways in which oil industry profits have steered most of the social, political, and technological progress of the last century, particularly in the form of Koch-sponsored legislation.

Wave bye-bye to your soul

This should be pretty self-explanatory.

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now, wait till you get older

Yet another direct jab at climate deniers who insist that the continued existence of winter and/or snow supports their belief that “the climate is always changing.”

The second part of this couplet plays on a double-entendre: it can be interpreted as the condescending voice of an older generation basking in their ignorance and the dismissive of when-I-was-your-age attitudes that reinforce the aforementioned rule establishment brainwashing of the for-profit school system; or, it’s yet-another intentionally ironic allusion to rising global temperatures, the idea being that there will be little need for us to bundle up by the time that 2099 comes around because we’ll all be dead from freak storms, flooding, or mosquito-borne illnesses.

But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

Despite the fact that it was written 20 years ago, this is another example of how “All Star” predicted our current circumstances in which media, expertise, and evidence are no longer trusted.

This also alludes to the idea that “weather” and “climate” are two separate things — a distinction that continues to elude people—as well as the notion that scientific prediction is not 100% reliable. Climate scientists in particular use the available information to form models and calculations, and while the specifics have been incorrect at times, the larger idea that the climate is changing in disastrous ways still shines through. Climate Critics will always miss the forest for the trees, at least until naturally-occurring brush fires wipe out all the forests.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim

Crumbling ice floes. Rising global temperatures. Rising water levels, caused by that melting ice. The struggle is real, my friends.

 That’s right: by predicting our fiery doom, Smash Mouth also inspired the popular “This is fine” meme. This is an historical fact.

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place.

Income inequality has grown drastically in the 20 years since “All Star” first graced the airwaves—and Smash Mouth saw this coming, too, as evidenced in this vignette of a poverty-stricken person forced to beg for change in order to afford gasoline, despite knowing that their own contributions of carbon emissions will get them away from this place, that is, bring on their impending death.

I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

This was clearly intended as an ironic juxtaposition, urging us to make a change from our fossil fuel-based energy system to one of more sustainable production—particularly if we are going to continue taking the back streets (once again, a double entendre both for gas-guzzling fuel waste, and the hope that we could extend human life using biotech advancements that now collide with the ecological damage that threatens to shorten our lives.

And then we return to begin, as we’re once again reminded that the years start coming and they don’t stop coming—because Smash Mouth the future was inevitable, unless we did something about it.

But all we did was make a bunch of stupid Smash Mouth memes, ignoring the clear warnings they placed before our ears.

It’s why the songs ends on that ringing chord, Steve Harwell’s warbling vocals fading off like the dying echo of our not-so-distant future. It’s why the song has persisted as a meme: because somewhere in the deepest, darkest recesses of our subconscious minds, we understood what Smash Mouth was trying to tell us.

“All Star” resonates with something primal and shared by all of mankind—but sadly, it was not a truth that we would find within until it was too late.

“Wave Bye-Bye to your soul” indeed.

[elrieltinuviel]

All the questionssssss!!!!!!!!!

1. How do you define your sexuality?

Asexual

2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls?

like 5

3. How out are you?

Mostly, Don’t talk about it in person

4. At what age did you first come out?

18 or 19

5. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?

I don’t remember

6. Has coming out lost you any friends?

No

7. What is your current relationship status?

Taken!

8. How many gay friends do you have?

I have mostly queer friends

9. How many male friends do you have?

3

10. Have you ever cut your hair super short?

sadly

11. How often do you wear flannel?

Once in a while

12. How much do you like cats?

Love cats!

13. Do you like skirts and dresses?

Kinda yeah

14. Do you like high heels?

Never worn them

15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where?

No :(

16. How accurate is your gaydar?

Not super

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?

Nah

18. How do you feel when plutonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends?

Ew

19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?

Lol hella

20. Ellen or Portia?

I don’t care

21. Is your nose pierced?

No

22 Would you ever want to get married?

yeeeeeee

23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding?

Maybe!

24. Would you ever want to give birth?

Fuck no, not that I could

25. Have you ever watched The L Word?

Nah

26. Have you ever dated a guy?

Nope

27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring?

I don’t like it.

28. How many rainbow items do you own?

None I think :/

29. Have you ever been to a pride festival?

Not yet, was supposed to go last year and the year before to Boston Pride, never happened

30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)?

I came out on Facebook to everyone on National Coming Out Day lol

31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?

No

32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit?

I don’t understand, what makes a suit a women’s suit? I’ve worn a Men’s suit

33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?

Sadly for my own protection

34. Do you eat meat?

Ye!

35. Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Of course.

36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?

Don’t have one, don’t really care about celebs too much

37. Are you religious at all?

A bit I suppose

38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female?

Fairly often, but I don’t stare anymore.

39. What is your ideal first date?

Depends on the person

40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke?

Absolutely not.

41. How outdoorsy are you?

Less than I used to be

42. In general, has being out affected your relationships with other females?

No

43. How much makeup do you typically wear?

None

44. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

Yes, Its tough

45. Are you more feminine or more masculine?

Masculine :/ I don’t really know how to be feminine...

46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person?

A year and a half? Maybe only a year idk. No

47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters?

lol no

48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender?

Anything’s possible

49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?

Back when I used to think I was

50. Do you watch any lesbian YouTubers?

Nah

51. Do you like wearing combat boots or Doc Martins?

Never have

52. Have you ever been hit on by another female?

Yes but they didn’t know I was a girl...

53. How athletic are you?

Not anymore

54. How many girlfriends have you had?

6? maybe 7. I mean I think technically only 5, but both NB partners went by/go by female pronouns

55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings?

Cute sometimes, depends on the face and jewelry really

56. What does equality mean to you?

Compassion and full rights for everyone regardless of anything. True proper equality, and the means to attain what you need with little to no effort.

57. If you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females?

On occasion. I still have a lot of old prejudices I’m working on getting rid of, so that probably plays some part in that lack of attraction to people simply based on their appearance.

58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?

No, I’m too big. I suppose some have take sweatshirts, but only for a bit

59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you?

Lol there are no girls with my name.

60. How flirty are you?

Not very, I don’t understand the cues well enough

61. Are you a virgin?

No.

62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, or Chely Wright?

Not that I know of

63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay?

I’ve been told I’m too cute to be ace, does that count?

64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality? If so, please explain.

I don’t think so.

65. Have you ever driven an SUV or a pickup truck?

Ye, I miss my SUV

66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy?

No.

67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay.

I like to think the “default” is bisexual/pansexual, but I’m not sure.

68. What personality trait are you most attracted to?

Sense of humor I think

69. Boobs or butts?

Both???????

70. Beer or wine?

Cider!

71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie?

No

72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women?

Aight for these I’m going with aesthetic attraction, not sexual.

8 or 4, depends on how muscular

73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses?

5 (glasses do nothing for attraction for me, just means she can’t see)

74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos?

9 (tattoos are hot, I’m talking all forms of attraction here)

75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women?

6 (one of those prejudices I’m working on)

76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair?

7 (depends on the style)

77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women?

6

78. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women?

8

79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)?

8

80. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?

Lol I don’t have a uterus

81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy?

I think so?

82. Do you carry a purse?

Nah

83. Do you have any LGBT relatives?

Yes, a couple

84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight?

Most of the time

85. Would you ever date a trans girl?

Someone being trans wouldn’t be the thing stopping me from dating them, so yes.

86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed in television?

Not so great.

87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you?

How much older? I mean yeah, but its subjective.

88. Do you have any celebrity crushes?

Sure

89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military?

I don’t like the military in general, lets get that straight (lol) but if someone is risking their life for my protection, who am I to say they can’t? I sure the fuck wouldn’t do it.

90. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

91. Would you ever have a threesome? If so, would a guy be included?

Lol no. I don’t really like sex as is

92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?

No idea, the internet from my experience

93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn?

It’s more the home made stuff where people aren’t faking for their male viewers, And things can be fairly educational.

94. Have you ever had a one night stand?

No

95. How often do you wear a bra?

Never have I think

96. Have you ever been part of a softball team?

No

97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women?

Yes.

98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most?

The one where “bi people are untrustworthy” and shit. Most of the ones about bi people, really. And that aces are selfish.

99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?

Have patience, and its okay to be wrong. Don’t rush, you aren’t better that anyone else based simply on your sexuality, that literally doesn’t matter as far as who you are as a person, morally. You’ll figure it out someday. You aren’t “wrong” or “disgusting” or “broken” or “greedy”. You’re wonderful.

100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out?

Make it a pun if/when you do decide to. Make sure you’re safe, that’s most important. But definitely make it a pun.