#like... i would say I need to make more digital paintings but thats kinda what i've been doing anyway~ but these small ones are a lot of fun
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willczek-art · 5 years ago
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Concepts for original painting.
I love how he said we could paint anything and my mind immediately went to @bratniadusza 's Oliver :V
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eroticcannibal · 2 years ago
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Hey Risu I think ud have some sound advice about this... I want to learn to draw n be an artist (digitally) but my brain screams when I try cos I'm new n not good at all and idk how to counteract the brain so I can draw shitty things until I get good.... It's hard to have fun when my brain is saying I'm shit and should quit :( Any advice? (I love ur art on ur art blog BTW... Ur art is good but like, not what I'm used to seeing and it's kinda nice to see how a hobby artist art looks cos I'm so used to more professional artists who take comms on twitter)
I was thinking of doing some of my shitty art to song lyrics (they're some of my fav, I draw my ocs in some sort of pose and then slap the lyrics on top in fancy font text or write it on my drawing tablet by hand) - and just don't care how bad it looks but I'm unsure if I can get my brain to not scream at me for not being enough long enough to do it :(
Any advice would be nice <3 p.s. My art is so bad it's like a kid trying to draw (derogatory but only at me) n I don't really have anyone in my life for support cos if it's not good they don't care :/// (well I have one friend, he's also a hobbyist as well, rarely draws cos he has the same issue of not being good and perfect type deal)
Oh hey its how I feel about my art 24/7 (and how most artists do!) So I will run u through all the things I find helpful
Listen. Brains are little bitches, ok? They LIE. They are MEAN. You need to practice telling ur brain to shut up. Like "hey, thats not fucking nice, I'm not listening to u until u have something helpful to say!" And its hard, cus its you, but with practice it gets easier to ignore ur brain being on one. Treat it like a toddler who is kicking off and calling u mean names cus u won't give it chocolate. "Thats nice dear im busy with my art". Like u gotta remember, for anyone trying to get started with art, it looks like a kid trying to draw because that's when most people stopped drawing. Same with any other skill u stop in childhood. My kid struggled so much with handwriting due to being ND that it switched to typing and guess what? Still has the handwriting u would expect from a small child. Because it stopped writing as a small child. I have the coordination with running and throwing of a young kid cus thats when I stopped doing sports. People who stop reading books young will find it harder to read books for an older audience. U do those kiddy drawings, do lots of them, you WILL get better.
Another thing. Heres a secret. For every artist, the majority of what they produce is shit. No really, all of them. Not just the crap you have to produce to git gud, but like, every amazing piece of art you have seen has like at least 5 fucked up sketches that got scrapped. Whole bits of painting that got covered up. All art is made up of mistakes and fuck ups. And even if u are sat there going wow this is perfect! The artist is DYING because they can see a hundred little mistakes that u cant. Art is all about perspective and honestly the perspective of the artist is the worst one. We are too familiar with the details to see our art for what it really is.
The thing that helped me most tho was when I went to art museums in Paris. I saw so much "good" art and im like. OK. This is technically good I guess? But it was kinda meh. The museum of modern art was the most disappointing cus, and listen I stan modern art ok there was some good shit in there, but there was a fucking rack of skis. Someone gone bought some skis and put them away and thats art. Hello? Oh someone painted some squares and came up with some deep meaning and im meant to be impressed. And then I go outside for a fag and I open tumblr and see some crappy 2 minute MSpaint vent art and u know what? It made me fucking feel. It make me feel like NOTHING in that museum had. Who is fucking deciding what "good" art is? I dont remember being consulted! I dont think I fucking agree that "good" art is good! I think shit art is good! Some fucking ship art scribbles has more meaning for me than the fucking mona Lisa, yknow?
And then I went to an exhibit of Picasso's sketches and doodles. Napkins with little scribbles on and shit. And they were so normal. Nothing impressive. And it was wonderful. I've done better sketches! I promise u u have done better than some of that stuff. Honestly so many artists aren't even "better", they're just successful. And idk but I think success is a poor way to measure arts worth.
There is a genuine magic to a hobby artist just. Doodling what makes them happy. Not for money, not for fame, not for skill, just because they want to. Art for arts sake, yknow?
Also I understand it can be very hard to share ur work but I would encourage u to do so with ppl u trust to give u fair feedback. Feel free to send me what u make I will be more than happy to tell u how great it is
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kingisuu · 2 years ago
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my art struggles :)
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i have been struggling with art as of like december i think?
Let me tell you like, around last year i was rll happy drawing, like i would just draw pictures i thought looked good without giving much thought to my process and at that time i just thought i would improve over time. After like a while, i thought that i needed to change things up because i was tired of how my pieces looked.
After draining dry my friends for advice and critiques, i decided to search up on youtube. Up to that point, i only really followed art tutorials that my friends gave me and nothing else. But then i discovered a lot of art youtubers like Ethan Becker or Samdoesarts, basically the current youtube art stars. I really liked their content and i learned a lot by them. But thats where like my problem started appearing.
Like i undestand those videos are very helpful for people who are completely clueless about drawing, but those videos pressured me a lot. They were making pointers like using references ( i didnt even know what a reference was ), thinking about the silluette, separating the body in specific shapes and all around adding more and more rules to something i thought i had somewhat started to figure out. I’m not in any way saying these tips aren’t important, but like after knowing these things, all i could do was find those mistakes in my artwork.
So what i did, was that i worked on everything at once and tried to implement everything into my art style. Long story short, it didn’t work at all and it resulted in me not being able to finish any piece i created, because i just didnt have any attatchment to it. Every sketch i made felt like miles away from the previous one and together with school and my desire to want a consistent art style, i kinda broke down for a while. At these times most people would take a break from art and thats what i did, believing that what i had was art block. In reality, the breaks i took didnt work and i kept drawing the same and still judging it very harshly.
Just a heads up, i didn’t just take advice from just 1 or 2 youtubers, i took from like 6 , everyone with a drastically different art style, which didn’t blend in with the previous one. I was thinking of the silluette of a character while at the same time wanting to do realistic shading to make it look more 3D, as well trying to implement as many colors as possible, and the cherry on top is that i started to paint, which meant i had to do so much rendering to the point that the piece looked completely different from the sketch and not good at all. Im not saying what i was aiming for was impossible, but i am saying that it was difficult for me.
To be honest, i still don’t think i can give up my harsh judgement to my art. Even when i just sit and draw out of my head i never like the piece and think its not good enough. It feels like im doing too stylized work and that it will seem like i haven’t improved at all from like my early days of digital art, where the pieces were horrible. Saying that, i have tried finding an in between with semi-realism, but i didnt like that either.
Its safe to say that the critique system on my art has been destroyed and i don’t know what is right for me or what is wrong. I have thought about giving it up, but to be honest when i sit down and look at art works, it just makes me want to draw even more, so yeah it seems like im not going anywhere lol.
This is already a very long post but idc, here’s also a persona drawing without using any references. Anyways, what i wanted to say and i will see how this develops from here
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abimee · 3 years ago
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hi! this might be a bit silly since you've been doing this for longer but. im finally getting sai and moving to digital art! so i was wondering did u just improvise when u first started using this or watch a video or something? I'm kinda lost. thanku either way
yeah i kind of just improvised, i started digital art when i was young and it went mspaint -> flash paint (exact name it was literally a flash program where you drew and you got Two Layers to use) -> sumopaint -> SAI, so by SAI i had a grasp of general art program understanding and just sort of started clicking around on stuff until i vaguely knew what i was doing. i would say watch a tutorial or find a guide to use SAI if you really want to, but SAI is great in that its very simple and everything is pretty clearly marked and directly in front of you (as in very little dropdown menus and insane shortcuts/technical capabilities), so just messing around and playing with the UI and scribbling out stuff is also a way to simply learn SAI.
i never look at tutorials or guides for anything related to art, and i think the last time i googled something about SAI was to figure out how to make an image transport as transparent (make a layer thats a solid color like blue, hide the layer, and save the file as ARGB and not RGB when prompted). but this also differs bevause it is your first experience using a digital program seriously i assume? so there is no harm in looking up a guide, its not lesser to need help or anything. congrats on making the move to digital art though anon i hope you bountiful drawings and the joy of being able to undo a line
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if you ever need tips or anything for specific stuff that i can help with more, like learning blending and persistence/dilution and how to create certain effects. if you have the texture pack in SAI too i can open your world with all sorts of crunchy brushes
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wolfewritings · 4 years ago
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My Cyberpunk 2077 Hot Takes (Spoilers for first 5ish hours of gameplay)
It was “in development” for 8 years, delayed multiple times in the final release year, and is still so poorly optimized, buggy, janky, and so obviously not fully tested on release that it is so unplayable on consoles that both Sony and Microsoft are offering refunds on digital copies regardless of hours played. And on PC you could have built and updated a desktop just to play only Cyperpunk on as high a setting as possible and you still would have to turn of features to get everything to load in properly. The game needs a full year delay working a standard 40 hour week to be even playable, and that's accounting for the features available as of Dec. 11th 2020 aka launch features. They forced the devs to work 100 hour work weeks just to launch a game that's technically playable in the loosest sense of the phrase.
TLDR: The game in-general needs to be redesigned like the RPG it was initially marketed as instead of a different flavor of near-future Ubi-sandbox. It also should totally embrace the full depth of customization cyberpunk as a genre and transhumanism as an ideology allows and envisions. And bugfixed and optimized, like seriously. There’s also almost no reason for anything to be as remotely bad as it is, if I’m remembering correctly the only “pressure” they had was from “fans” and that’s because they thought Gamers(tm) would be sensible and not send fucking death threats because they thought they had a release date.
This might be a GOG only gripe (or cpu) but that makes it even worse if it is: patching takes literal hours to complete no matter how small the patch is. The only game that might take longer to patch is Baldur’s Gate 3 which is a whole separate fuck-fest but atleast that is early access.
It has less gameplay options than vanilla Skyrim, just in general and in specifics.
Melee combat is clunky as hell and not satisfying.
I think driving is bad, and vehicle combat is god awful with almost no onscreen indicators if your hitting enemies or even correctly aimed at them.
The lifepath opener sucks. It literally ends with a montage of scenes and interactions that should have been playable and greatly added to the dynamic of Jackie and V. It also would have helped established literally every part of gameplay without requiring a literal in-game diegetic tutorial to break the flow of a scene leading into the 2018 gameplay teaser. It also so far only affects dialogue options, no ability increases, no skill increases or passive experience buffs. It doesn’t even effect how V speaks, just what they know prior to meeting Jackie.
Character creation is meh at best. Unless you choose the more techy looking eyes that change everything about the eye, the iris color barely appears to change. Pronouns being tied to voice is a very weird choice, especially when the choices are literally just male or female. Available hair styles are alot right off the bat, especially since you have to remember which numbers you like with no option to preview or change later in anyway aside from apparently forced hair styles hard designed with various head gear, especially apparent on femme V where they grow and fully style their hair on contact with ball caps etc. Tattoo options are generic “nothing or your skin is over 30% tattoos” no pure back or pure limb tattoos. Facial cybernetics are serviceable but there should have also been an option for purely cosmetic body cybernetics. Facial hair is both meh and almost too indepth at the same time. Visually bland but also having too much to customize and compare with each beard selection having seemingly 3 barely different versions and mustaches having essentially every type aside from pencil (i think, i didnt care too much to look at all of them).
In-combat weapon selection is clunky. The lower right icons for unarmed is the exact same as if you were wielding a gun. The only way to know for sure you have only fists is to use the weapon selection wheel and try to get the cursor to show you hovering unarmed even if you have weapons in 2 out of 3 slots. And im fairly certain having no weapon in the first slot breaks hotkey selecting weapons. There have been several times where I pressed 1 to only use fists and it kept my katana or gun out despite them clearly being in the 2 and 3 slots respectively.
Hacking is weird as you need direct line of sight and the game to register you’re actually looking at what you want to hack, meaning you can’t really stealth hack in enclosed areas without almost guaranteeing you’ll be spotted.
Randomized loot doesn’t really make sense, especially when the randomized tier determines if you can install components like scopes, silencers, etc.
Thats all I can remember off of the top of my head as of initial writing.
Now for some praise, but still with some complaints and ideas for improvements.
Gender and sex being separate is a great idea but could have been implemented alot better. Pronouns should have been an actual choice between he/him, she/her, and they/them. In my opinion, voice options should have also been expanded to include masc/fem or masc/fem/”yeah thats a generic ‘X’ voice” for both male-voiced and female-voiced V. Genital selection being both “which do you have?” and “do you go commando?” is just questionable. It should have been genital type as one selection and default underwear as another (maybe some people want schlonged V to wear panties and vagina’d  V to wear men’s boxers or tighty-whities). I personally find the nipple and pubic hair customization almost too much for almost no reason especially since there is no practical way to even be naked to be funny without being one-shot because you have literally zero armor aside from maybe shoes, hats, and face covers.
Tattoos should be broken down into subcategories like limbs (divided into the different parts of each limb/full limb), torso (chest, stomach/full), back (shoulders, mid, lower/full), hands/feet (maybe including fingers/toes) with an extra option to mirror limbs and hands to streamline creation time if the player wants.
Hair should also be broken down between pre-styled, and customizable pieces like top, sides, and back. Hair style should also have custom gradients or full palette selection.
The nail paints were a nice surprise, but again would have been better with color customization (I managed to settle on the one that looked kinda like the demisexual flag, which was nice surprise).
Lifepath selection should have some effect outside of just the occasional dialogue option (so far only on the main story path). At the very least it should offer bonuses to atleast one associated ability (like Nomad offering a +1 to tech and associated skills gaining bonus experience). At the far end it should affect what words or slight accent uses during dialogue and maybe have some NPCs know which lifepath you chose based on that.
Melee combat needs to feel more impactful. From what Ive used so far (katana and fists) the katana barely has any reaction from enemies unless you trigger the passive bleeding skill and fists barely register outside of heavy attacks and guard breaking. Dare I say, Dead fucking Island has more impactful melee combat (probably because it wasn’t seemingly designed as an after-thought outside of skills).
Make it so that once you’ve marked a target you can hack it through walls so you can actually be somewhat stealthy or atleast give you an advantage before combat.
Make the overworld hub-based (like in the 2010s Deus Ex games) but still the same size so that its (theoretically) easier to load while also getting the same amount of detail or even more. 
Add seemingly basic things in open world action-adventure games like toggle walking, keybinding, and maybe more than less than a handful of quick-select slots.
Make sure the game actually runs as it ideally should on the platforms you sell it on. Like that really should be step fucking two after can you launch it without causing a fire.
Enemies (and predetermined killable NPCs) should have set gear that is dropped and gear should have set designs for if they can be customized or just sold for money. Iconic gear should probably be better than just “ ’X’ weapon but named”.
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supersickies · 4 years ago
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Summary: “It went without saying that getting bitten by a radioactive spider had its perks.
But apparently a cure for the common cold wasn’t one of them.”
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College final exam season leaves Peter sick with a nasty cold, and on his wonderful girlfriend Michelle's first day of her summer internship too. Now it's up to mama Pepper and little sis Morgan to nurse their favorite spiderling back to health.
A/N: This was intended to be a little drabble based on a post I saw (I can’t find it for the life of me but once I do I’ll reblog it asap) but it ended up being a 5k+ fic of sweet sick Peter and his mess of a family. I couldn’t help it I love them all too much. You can read it on Ao3 or under the cut! Whatever what works for you!
Spider-Man can, in fact, catch a cold. This was something that Peter was surprised, yet annoyed to discover. Before the bite, Peter was a sickly, asthmatic, all around fragile kid, and while it wasn’t something that he was exactly confident about he never let it crush his spirit. However, that didn’t mean that as soon as the spider bite rid his body of all his past ailments Peter wasn’t overjoyed. He could finally run a mile without having to stop a quarter of the way through or eat a PB&J without having to instantly call an ambulance. It went without saying that getting bitten by a radioactive spider had its perks.
But apparently a cure for the common cold wasn’t one of them.
He and Mr. Stark discovered this about a year after he was bitten when he had come down with a nasty case of bronchitis that had him hacking all over the compound for four days. Since then Peter was bound to catch a bug here and there, much like he used to before the bite just less severe. It was harder for him to catch things as well, his immune system was usually a force to be reckoned with, unless for any reason Peter was not at “peak Spidey performance” as Mr. Stark would say.
Which leads us to now, a mere 24 hours after the last final exam of his junior year at Columbia, Peter was laid in bed suffering through what he would consider the nastiest cold he’d ever had.
It was barely after sunrise, the clock reading a taunting 5:30, and Peter doing everything he could not to sneeze. With deep, even, wheezy, breaths, the spider-boy was using all his strength to keep the sneeze at bay for one reason. MJ. His lovely, wonderful, amazing Michelle who was starting her first day of her summer internship at nine and would massacre Peter if he woke her up before her alarm. The girl loved her sleep, and Peter would be damned if he deprived her of it.
Think of anything else Peter, literally anything. Remember that big biker guy you helped on patrol the other week? He was pretty nice…oh god it iiihhtches…no, enough Peter, biker guy. Right he had that cool jacket with the patches, I bet I could pull off a leather jacket. Maybe put a spidey patch on the back? Fun…cool…really gotta sneeze. Ugh, FUCK! Okay, okay maybe if you just do that pinch-y sneeze, like Ned and Natasha do…heh imagine Ned knowing he had the same sneeze as Black Widow, he’d flip. Ehh..fuhhhhuck okay thats it, pinch-y sneeze please don’t fail me.
With a shaky hand Peter pinches his nose between his thumb and his forefinger, the motion instantly making his nose tickle more and within seconds Peter was attempting, and failing, to stifle his sneeze.
And it failed hard.
The sneeze was stronger than it seemed and instead of being held back and becoming a noiseless stifle, it came out louder than it should have as it scraped the back of his throat, causing barking coughs to escape as well.
Well everyone, bid him farewell, this will be the day that Peter Parker meets his untimely demise. He instantly feels MJ stir against him with a groan. She was up, oh god sound the alarm she was awake.
“P’ter? That you?” She slurs, sleep lacing her voice.
“Umb, yeah. Sorry embjay I didn’d mbean to sndeeze.” God how he wished his could blow his nose, but he was not going to poke the bear any further.
It was quiet for a moment, Peter knew that he was in danger. MJ was plotting how she was going to murder him and it was only a matter of time before she-
“You feeling okay, baby?” Her angelic voice rings as she turns to face him on the bed. “You sound terrible.”
It was like music to Peter’s ears. He would live to see another day! He was almost shocked, she didn’t even pepper in the classic “loser” nickname. She was concerned. Wait, did he really sound that bad? Should he be concerned?
Peter clears his throat before responding. “I-I thingk I’mb combing down with sombthing. I’mb sorry I’ll try to be quieter.” A wet sniffle concludes his sentence. Damn it he really wants a tissue.
Almost as if MJ could read minds, she places a soft white Kleenex into his hand. “Blow your nose, Pete. I’m gonna go get the humidifier, you’re way too congested.”
“O-Oh, okay. Thangk you Emmby.” He uses her absence to sit up a little and expel the nasty gunk from his sinuses. He still can’t completely breathe, but it’s better than it was before. MJ comes back into the room moments later, carrying the chunky machine. The water inside of it sloshes a bit as she set’s it on Peter’s bedside table but as soon as she plugs it into the wall, a warm soft mist starts flowing from its lid. Peter can’t tell a difference now, but he knows it’ll make a difference the longer it runs.
Satisfied with how the humidifier is working, Michelle sits beside Peter on the bed and looks at him quizzically. “How’d you get so sick?” She questions, her fingertips reaching to brush Peter’s bed head away from his eyes. His forehead moderately warm, but it doesn’t feel like anything that provokes worry.
He hums at her soft touch but shrugs his shoulders at her question. “Don’t kdnow,” He presses the tissue to his nose as it starts running, the humidifier must be working. “I felt fidne yesterday. Mbaybe kinda tired but ndot sick.”
“You know what it probably is?” Michelle says. “All those nights up late studying, not to mention all that trash food you ate-“
“What is this, mbake fun of your poor sick boyfriend day?” He gives a wet coughs for emphasis, and because he really needed to cough.
“Sorry sicky,” She giggled. “what I’m saying is that you had a long hard week and you weren’t exactly taking the best care of yourself. No shame in it, I mean, it happens to everyone but I think your body is so used to you eating well and exercising often that as soon as you stopped your immune system freaked out.
Clearing his throat, Peter nods. “I guess that mbakes sense.” He looks down with a sigh, thinking of all the things he was scheduled to do today. “I better call Todny and tell him I can’t combe in to the lab.” He sighs and reaches for his phone but MJ intercepts.
“First you’re going to go back to sleep until a reasonable hour. It’s almost 6 a.m. Parker, and my alarm goes off at 8, so I’d like a few more hours of rest.” She jabs, pulling the covers up to his chin and kissing him softly on the cheek. “And you definitely need the beauty sleep.”
Peter chuckles at that, which only lead to more hacking coughs. MJ softly pats his back until the coughs subside. With a tsk she tucks him into bed once more before rounding the bed to lay back down on her side. “Rest, I’ll let you know when I’m about to head to work.”
With his eyes closed and his breathing only slightly less congested, thank you humidifier, he smiles contently. “Thank you Emmby, love you.”
“Love you too, snotty.”
Peter wakes again to a kiss on the forehead and the scent of strong perfume making his nose tickle. Before he even opens his eyes, he curls in on himself and muffles three sneezes into his pillow. Ugh, gross. He opens his bleary eyes to see MJ smoothing out her work outfit in their full length mirror. She looks amazing as usual, Peter notes, but her perfume is strong. Or maybe he’s just way too sensitive, a super cold and super senses probably don’t mix well. Without warning, two more sneezes barrel out and he barely has time to cover them. With a groan he sniffles thickly and reaches for the tissue box conveniently placed on his bedside table. He get a warm and fuzzy feeling as he realizes MJ had put them there for him, as they weren't there when he had woken up earlier. It’s the little things. He blows his nose, which get’s MJ’s attention.
She glances over to him with a smile. “Good morning, again.”
“Good mbornding, you look ambazindg.” He rasps, a goofy smile painting his face.
MJ breathes out a laugh at her dopey boyfriend. “Thank you, dork. How’re you feeling?”
He snuggles deeper into the bed, closing his eyes again and coughing weakly. “Call a physiciand,” Peter jokes in a congested and bad British accent. He throws a hand over his forehead for good measure. “I believe it mbay be the plague.”
MJ snorts a laugh at her boy’s dramatics. “Okay, you sickly child king.”
Her heels clack against the hardwood floor of the bedroom as she steps over to where he lies in their bed. As she sits on the bed, her soft hand cups his forehead and then his cheek. “You’re soft.” He mumbles, leaning into her touch.
“And you are running a bit of a fever.” She rubs her thumb sweetly over his cheek before standing back up. She tells him to sit tight and goes to the bathroom to grab a digital thermometer. She returns to find him dozing so she gently brushes his hair back to get his attention. He lifts his eyes to see the thermometer in her hand and opens his mouth just wide enough that she can slip the device under his tongue. “Give that a minute.”
MJ walks out of the room a moment later and Peter hears running water from the kitchen. The thermometer beeps right before she reenters, ice water with a straw in hand. Peter didn’t realize until he saw it just how thirsty he was. He stares at her lovingly as she takes the thermometer from between his lips. “Are you a mbind reader?” He asks, only semi-joking as he sits up slightly to sip the water.
Michelle scoffs lightly. “You bet your ass I am.” She jokes looking down at the medical tool. “Hm, 100.8. Not horrendous but I don’t love it.” Once again she’s gone, this time to the bathroom where Peter hears more water running, making him want to take another sip of his water. He sighs as the cool drink soothes his dry throat. MJ strides back to the bed with a damp face towel folded in half. When she starts to dab Peter’s forehead with the cool cloth he can’t help the shuddering sigh that escapes him. She stops. “You alright?”
Her boyfriend just nods, opening his eyes to look up at her with a small smile. “Feels good. Cold.” He explains. She smiles back at him, taking the cup of water from his hands so he can lay back down. She continues to wipe his brow with the towel and doesn’t stop until a snore leaves his mouth. MJ can’t help the giggle that bubbles up, but to be fair she’s never heard Peter snore before and right now he was quite a sight to see. His hair was sticking up at all angles, even in his reclined position, his nose nearing a shade of bright red, and his mouth open just wide enough that the tiny snores were heard.
She couldn’t help but snap a quick picture to send to Tony.
MJ:
your favorite little mentee won’t be in today…Spidey caught the sniffles : /
Old Man Stark:
Wow he looks rough, you have your internship today?
MJ:
yep first day
dont wanna leave him like this tho
Old Man Stark:
Don’t stress, this is a big day for you. I have meetings all day but Pep would be more than happy to stop by and make sure all is well.
Morgan too
She’s in her “wanting to be a doctor” phase
MJ:
you trying to say she cant be a doctor, stark?
Old Man Stark:
Good lord of course not
The kid is smarter than me and she’s barely 11
I’m just saying wasn’t there a point in your life when you wanted to be a doctor too?
MJ:
yeah of course
Old Man Stark:
And you’re now getting a degree in…?
MJ:
journalism
Old Man Stark:
so…
MJ:
i could be a doctor if i wanted to
Old Man Stark:
I know
And thats why you terrify me
MJ:
>:-)
Old Man Stark:
Go to work!
Let us take care of Peter and we’ll keep you updated as you break into the great big world of being a working adult.
MJ:
:P thanks T-Star
Old Man Stark:
Don’t call me T-Star.
Michelle pockets her phone and grabs her computer bag that’s packed and ready in the living room. Quickly she takes out a stray piece of paper and jots down a quick note for her boy just incase he wakes up alone.
Petey,
Had to get to the office (wish me luck lol) but Pepper and Morgan should be by soon. Please don’t die while I’m gone. I’ll be pissed if you do that. Wash your hands, blow your nose, and don’t leave used tissues on the bed that’s gross. Love you. Feel better.
-M
Satisfied, she leaves the note under the tissue box, gives him one last kiss on the forehead, and makes her way out the door. But not before sending Morgan that goofy picture of Peter.
MJ:
here
use this as blackmail
tell him you’ll post it on insta next time he says he won’t take you to mcdonalds
Mo Mo Stark:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Peter wakes to his front door closing and whispering coming from the living room. He panics for a moment before realizing that the voices belonged to Pepper and Morgan. As the fan blows above him, he hears a piece of paper flutter next to him. With a shaky hand he grabs it and reads over the note that MJ had left for him. He cant help but blush, just at the thought of his girlfriend. He wonders how her first day is going. He misses her a lot. Then he realizes his fever must of gone up, as he definitely wasn’t this emotionally fragile when he had gone to sleep.
With a yawn, he sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed and grabs the quilt at the end and wraps it around his around his shoulders. With a huff he slides off the bed and makes his way to the living room. He finds Pepper setting grocery bags down on the kitchen island and Morgan already situated in front of the TV, some YouTube vlog video playing over the speakers.
“Morgan Hope, turn that down before you wake your broth-“ Pepper stops when she notices Peter standing in the doorway. “Oh, afternoon sweetheart! Did Morgan wake you? I’m so sorry I told her to quiet down-“
“Pep, it’s okay, I actually woke up whend you guys walked ind.” He rasps, congestion still heavy in his horse voice.
“Oh honey you sound awful, come on now, on the couch. You shouldn’t be up.” Pepper says, guiding him with a hand on his back to the couch. Morgan scoots a bit to make room for her big brother.
“Hi, Dr. Mborgand, you brindg any of the good drugs today?” Peter jokes, making the girl roll her eyes.
“Mom, Peter says he on drugs. He needs to detox stat. Get me an IV with glutathione, vitamin C, and vitamin B.” The youngest Stark states.
Her mother sighs as she returns to the kitchen. “Alright, that’s enough Discovery Life for you. Why can’t you just watch Disney Channel like a normal eleven year old.” Pepper mumbles as she starts taking items out of the grocery bags.
Peter and Morgan just giggle, which leads to a coughing fit from Peter. Morgan’s tiny hand pats his back as he hacks into his elbow, he murmurs an apology as the coughs taper off.
“You need to lay down Petey, and you need tissues.” Morgan articulates as she stands and looks around the apartment.
Clearing his throat, Peter points to the bedroom. “There should be sombe tissues by mby bed…if you could grab those that’d be ndice.”
Morgan nods confidently and makes her way to the bedroom. Seconds later she reemerges with the tissue box in hand and places them in the crook of Peter’s arm.
“Thangk you doctor.” Peter smiles, causing Morgan to smile in return.
“You’re welcome!” The girl returns to her spot on the couch and presses play on the video she was watching. It was vlog about makeup, Peter assumed, as the YouTuber was covered in a very impressive, glossy, look and was showing off makeup pallettes. Peter watches as the video cuts and suddenly the makeup artist is bare faced and begins to work on the look they had previewed in the intro.
Pepper chuckles as she approaches the couch, mug of hot tea with lemon and honey in hand. She hands the cup to Peter, who is drowsily watching the makeup being applied. “You don’t have to watch this you know.” Pepper whispers to him. “This is your apartment and you’re sick, turn on whatever you want.”
Taking a sip of the tea, humming as it soothes his sore-ish throat, Peter shakes his head. “Ndo, this is awesombe, look at how precise he is with the brush. Oh, thangks for the tea…also.” Pepper chuckles more, kissing the boy on the top of the head, and leaving him with Morgan to watch some internet celebrity do a perfect line with their liquid eyeliner.
Pepper had called May in the morning after hearing from Tony that Peter wasn't feeling well, knowing the boys aunt would have all the inside knowledge on how to care for a sick Peter. It wasn’t as if Pepper had never seen Peter sick, though. Since Tony had introduced them to each other way back before Morgan was even a thought, Peter had spent some sick days in the tower, the compound, and even one or two in the lake house. Yes, Pepper had seen a sick Peter Parker in her lifetime, however this was the first time she was his sole caretaker. However, after the quick call to the boy’s aunt, Pepper had a pretty good idea of how to care for the sick Spiderling.
“Oh for a cold?” May had responded. “Simple, grilled cheese and tomato soup for every meal, he’ll probably want to watch Parks and Rec all day, oh and he has Tony’s old MIT hoodie in his closet and he always wears it when he’s not feeling well.”
Pepper smiled at that. When Peter decided to stay in New York for college, for family and spider-y reasons, it was no secret that Tony had been a little disappointed. No, Tony hadn’t done anything special to get Peter into MIT, honestly because he didn’t have too. Peter’s grades and test scores were good enough on their own, but he still would have loved to have seen the kid at his alma mater. When Peter had told him of his college decision, scared out of his mind might he add, Tony just hugged and told him he was proud of him. Tony reassured the kid that where ever he went to school was fine by him and that he’d support him the whole way through. “I am going to need that MIT sweatshirt back” Tony had joked, waiting to be met by a “shut up Tony” or an eye roll, but instead he was met with tears— big fat ones that welled up in Peter’s eyes. Tony was quick to see he had messed up and it took about twenty minutes to reassure the boy that he didn't want the sweatshirt back and that “of course I still love you Peter”. Since then Peter has kept the garment close to him at all times, just incase Tony ever thought about taking it.
Pepper goes to Peter’s closet, instantly spotting the faded maroon hoodie and taking it off of the hanger. Both he and Morgan are still mesmerized by the YouTube video, but they glance up when Pepper walks over again. Peter’s eyes light up at the sight of the hoodie in her hands. He’s close to making grabby hands for it but she hands it to him first. He puts it on and settles back down onto the couch. “Thangk you Pep.”
“Keep it safe, can’t have Tony snatching it.” She jabs as she walks back to the kitchen to start the grilled cheese.
Peter, though thoroughly invested in the new makeup video Morgan put on, can’t help but doze off as the ambient sounds of his apartment lull him to sleep. He hears a shuffling on the couch next to him and opens one of his eyes, seeing Morgan giggling at him. “Can I braid your hair Petey?” She whispers. In true college kid fashion, Peter had let his hair grow out a little bit, and while it wasn’t long enough to braid it all together, Morgan liked to do tiny braids with tufts of his hair for fun.
Turning onto his side away from Morgan, giving her better access to his hair, Peter chuckles at his little sister. “Go for it Mborgie, mbake mbe beautiful.”
With a squeal of delight, the eleven year old Stark pulls tiny hair-ties out of her pocket and gets to work. Peter, who had always loved having his hair played with, lets the braiding put him right to sleep after only a few tiny braids were done.
If Morgan laughed at the snores that came from Peter moments later, she didn't tell him. He did let her braid half his head, anyway.
The rest of the day passes in a sleepy haze for Peter. He remembers waking up a few moments after falling asleep on the couch. Pepper helping him sit up and setting a tray of his favorite sick day meal in his lap. He had to hand it to Pepper, she made a mean grilled cheese soup combo. He finishes the sandwich and about half of the soup before he feels his eyes grow heavy again and the tray is taken from his lap.
“Go back to sleep, hon. Morgan and I are here if you need us.” Pepper reassures the boy, so Peter does.
The next time he wakes was when Morgan and Pepper we’re on their way out. He vaguely remembers sluggishly thanking them for staying with him and Pepper saying something about MJ being home in just a few minutes, but as soon as the apartment door closes Peter was out once more.
The final time he wakes up is to Michelle gently shaking his shoulder, attempting to wake him from his short slumber. His eyes open, but quickly close again as he stretches his whole body, somehow exhausted and sore from his long day of sleeping.
“Emmby, you back?” He asks, not yet opening his eyes again.
He hears her adorable laugh and his heart soars. “Yes, dork, it’s me. Wanna open those pretty eyes for me, Tiger?”
Obviously wanting to see his beautiful girlfriend, he opens his eyes again. MJ looks tired from her first day but extremely happy.
“Was it ambazing? Everythindg you could have hoped for?” He asks, nuzzling closer to her thigh, much like a cat.
She hums an affirmation, bringing her hand up to trace random shapes along his arm. “It was everything and more. Honestly I can see myself working there forever. It was…it was perfect.”
Peter smiles at that. MJ deserved the perfect job and more. “Babe, that fandtastic. I’m so happy for you.” He says horsely but sincerely. He moves closer to her, raising his head a bit to lay it on her lap. With the motion, one of Morgan’s many little braids in his hair make themselves apparent and Michelle can help but burst with laughter.
It causes Peter to jolt up in a sleepy state of panic. “What, what happended?” He asks sitting up slightly, eyes half closed but alert.
She reaches up to ruffle the tiny braids that cover the right side of his head. “What is this? Did Morgan just learn how to fishtail braid because these are honestly kinda good.” She inspects the braids as Peter’s cheeks blush.
He smiles, coughing slightly and gently shaking his head so the braids flop around. That gets another laugh from MJ. “Mby sisters pretty talendted, huh?”
MJ nods, very amused. “An interesting look…but I’ll give it points for creativity.”
As the couple laughs again, Peter brings two fingers up to massage his temple as he feels a dull ache in his head.
“Headache?” Michelle frowns.
“Mhmm,” Peter confirms. “I thingk Mborgan made the braids a little too tight.”
“That’s no good.” MJ sympathizes, lowering her boy’s head back down onto her lap, braid side up so she can work on undoing the little knots. She makes quick work of it and within minutes, Peter’s hair is braid-less and the throbbing in head head dies down. In thanks, Peter snuggles his face closer Michelle’s middle, wrapping his arms around it as well.
“You thingk you can use a vacationd day tomborrow? I mbissed you today.” Peter whines, partly joking but sorta kinda being serious.
“From what I heard, your eyes were open for about thirty minutes today. Too busy sleeping to miss me that much.” MJ giggles at the sniffly boy with his head in her lap. He just shrugs in response, and she can feel his body relaxing and congested breaths evening out. “You going back to sleep on me already, Parker? Not even gonna let me tell you about my day?” She jokes again.
Peter snorts involuntarily as he turns his head to look up at her, eyes glossed with fever and sleepy but apologetic. “I’mb up I’mb up, tell mbe everything.”
She grabs the sides of his face sweetly, slightly squishing his cheeks while she kisses his forehead and then his nose. “I’m kidding, Peter. God your brain must be frying, come on let's go to bed.” She pats his cheek lightly and helps him sit up.
He yawns with his whole body, his hands stretching into the air and his back arching. “But it’s only like six, arend’t you hungry for dinnder?” He coughs into his fists while Michelle takes his other hand, helping him lift off the couch.
“Let me rephrase. You’re going to shower, put new pajamas on, and get in bed while I make us grilled cheeses, your second one today I'm assuming. How does that sound?” MJ asks, leading him to their bathroom.
Peter clears his throat as he sits on the closed toilet. “And…umb…and the tombato soup?”
The shower roars to life as MJ turns the handle. “You think I’d forget the most important part?” She scoffs, feigning hurt. Peter just smiled, the dopey smile he gets when he thinks about how in love he is with this girl. With two more quick forehead kisses she leaves him to shower.
Peter exits the shower feeling refreshed, less stuffy, and hungry once more. Thanks to the shower stream he can faintly smell the toasty cheesy smell from the kitchen and it gives him a nostalgic feeling.
As he grabs pajama pants and the MIT hoodie, Peter thinks of the first time he got sick after going to live with Ben and May. It was the first day of what was considered flu season and the sickly kid had contracted the virus at the drop of a hat. He was miserable the whole day, crying and wallowing in the aches and pains of the illness. The biggest issue, however, was that he refused to eat anything, that is until Ben decided to make himself a grilled cheese for dinner.
The older Parker noticed Peter looking the sandwich with feverish eyes. “Look tasty, bud?” Ben questioned, raising an eyebrow. Little Peter just nodded and Ben smiled, extremely relieved that his nephew was finally going to eat.
Sticking his pointer and middle finger in his mouth, Peter watches as his uncle stands from the couch and starts on another sandwich. “Uncle Ben?” Peter asks in a small voice. Ben looks back over to the kid and nods. “Do you have any of the-the red soup? Mommy always made grilled cheese with red soup.” Peter nearly whispered.
Ben thinks for a minute, not completely sure what the boy meant by red soup, but then it clicks. “Oh! Tomato soup?” He smiles as Peter nods. Ben open the cupboard to him and pulls out a can of tomato soup, flipping it in the air once to see Peter smile. “Tomato soup and grilled cheese coming right up monsieur Parker.” Ben says in a horrible French accent which makes the six year old giggle, as sound that was music to Ben’s ears after all tears. From then on, Peter would only insist on eating that particular meal anytime he had so much as a headache.
The door creaking open as MJ pushes it with her hip brings Peter out of his thoughts. She has the tray of grilled cheeses and soups in her hands and an amused look on her face. “You okay? Need help with something?”
Peter blinks and remembers that he’s sitting in the edge of their bed, in a towel, pajamas in hand. “Oh…no I’mb okay. Just thinking ‘bout stuff.”
MJ sets the tray down on her bedside table. “You already sound less stuffy. Maybe you should sleep in the shower.” She quips, not missing Peter's sweet tiny giggle as she grabs the water tank from the humidifier and takes it to the bathroom with her.
Peter gets dressed and settles into bed. He notices that Pepper has changed the sheets and his heart clinches, nearly overwhelmed by the love he feels from his family. He takes out his phone to text her a thank you but is intercepted by a string of texts from Tony.
Tony Stank:
Morgs is showing me pictures of the wonderful makeover she gave you
Honestly thought you pulled it off really well
…but you need a haircut
Please kiddo let me get you in with my hair guy
You’ll love him
Spider-Tot:
sorry pops but I am fully committing to this college hair thing
mj says she wants me in a man bun by graduation so
cant let my girl down
Tony Stank:
I swear you two are conspiring against me
Oh well
How you feeling bud?
Spider-Tot:
still kinda gross
snotty
but i think my fevers kinda lower
so thats something
tell pep thank you so so much for today
i was barely awake when they left
i feel bad I didn't get to say anything
Tony Stank:
I gotcha Pete don’t worry
If you need more company tomorrow let me know I’m free all day
Spider-Tot:
wdym ill just come in to the lab tomorrow
Tony Stank:
That’s a negative Petey Pie
As your gracious boss i’m giving you the next three days off
I want all this crap out of your system before you’re back in the lab
Spider-Tot:
three days ??
boooo
u stink old man
Tony Stank:
Good lord
You’re the only person I know that complains about getting days off from work
Get a good nights sleep and maybe ill bring you a circuit board to mess with tomorrow
Good enough?
Spider-Tot:
hmmm
fine
Tony Stank:
Good
Now go rest
Don’t bother your girlfriend too much
She complains to me when you do
Spider-Tot:
now I think its you two conspiring against me
:P
night tony
love u
Tony Stank:
Love you too bambino
Michelle returns from the bathroom, makeup off, hair down, and humidifier tank full of water. She sets the tank back in and turns the machine on, steam filling the air. After quickly putting on her own set of pajamas, MJ takes her and Peter’s dinner from the side table and places it on the bed between them. Peter wastes no time digging in, groaning in admiration for the food. He mumbles a thanks with his mouth full and MJ laughs, wiping a bit of soup off of his lip with her thumb.
“You’re welcome, loser.” She teases, beginning to eat her own meal. After a few bites she take the TV remote by her side and flips on Peter’s favorite sick day show.
As the Parks and Recreation theme song begins to play, Peter looks up at his girlfriend with appreciative eyes. “You’re too good to mbe.”
“You remember that next time I make you vacuum and you get pissy about it.” Michelle deadpans, but Peter knew she was messing around.
“I’m not messing around.” She clarifies, turning to look at his with one eyebrow raised.
“You really are a mbind reader.” Peter whispers with feverish wonder.
Throwing a paper towel at him playfully, MJ laughs and Peter joins her. They finish their food as the TV continues to play in the background, Peter yawning and coughing quietly as soon as he swallows his last bite. Without a word, MJ takes the empty plates and tray back to the kitchen. She turns off the bedroom lights as she reenters and tucks herself back under the covers. It's barely after 7 p.m. and the sun it only just starting to set, making the room glow a with dark blues and purples.
Peter is cuddled into her side as soon as she's back in bed, head resting on her chest and arm around her waist. “What am I gonna do with you Peter Parker?” She sighs, twirling her fingers through his already messy hair.
“Love mbe, no matter what? Even if I’mb yucky like this?” He pulls out the puppy dog eyes for this one. MJ may be stoic on the outside but not even she can resist the sweet sparkling glare.
“If I must.” She agrees, holding him tighter and resting her head on top of his.
But she’s happy to do it. Loving Peter Parker is an extremely easy thing, MJ thinks.
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magiccallie · 5 years ago
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So I wrote down my thoughts as i watched through most of Season 2 of Scooby Doo Mystery Inc, and would like to share them, major spoilers below cut
Notes of Season 2 of Scooby Mystery Inc Shout out to this jock bully(?) who upon encountering a monster threatening a girl, did no hesitate to take on said monster, recuse said girl, and protect her as they escape Fred really needs to talk to someone about his new parents, who are now living in his house with him???? The house of the man who took him from them?????? Bronson might not be exactly straight looking at how he acted around the old mayor vs the new one, but *shrugs* Jock Strikes again, is this gunna be the twist? That''s a really douchy twist to pull a stunt like this Love how-I mean this is just the plan. He wanted girls too so he set up the same scenario. Is this extra set up by the parents to get him to trust them that is some next level douchery/ Scratch that on Bronson, omg Oh shit starting with a furry attack this is going to be a weird episode the gang's meta knowledge coupled with their sure willingness to go along with tropes and shit makes for great dialogue oh *oh* this is the episode where we get a peak to see just how big the picture is, love the lore building. knew this episode was gunna be good is that a demon? the furry isnt the mosnter??? ummm...weve been getting hints, are things getting real? so we've established motive for why someone whould want this plavce closed, but actually tangent but dont a lot of these monsters that they encounter seem like, weirdly powerful and mobile for costumes oh there's the furry that red aura is a...the things that happen around it are something deeper it seems. fascinating. is the red just representative of fire hallucinations? those seemed a bit real in effect for hallucinations... this guy, like my manager, needs to hire a little more staff occult magic book falls from the library to gang, and no one is as concerned as they should be nazi robot nazi robot get BJ on the phone Cassidy is the kinda retired PC that the players can strive to be Shit is getting real quick isnt it. Wait is that a seal. does Cassidy die? I know about a certain other death that makes me sad, but i dont want Cassidy to die too this episode is a rollercoaster of odd events weird hologram disguise for Paraclese is nifty Seeing the tragic fate of past groups is...well obviously sad oh dear, she does die huh its super low key, but it plays at the terrifying corrupting ordeal of the eldritchstuff really well with the lore notes bear troubles oh that badge...is that where they buried him? that's...kinda grim they have stealth suits and killer nazi robots? why have the evil guys not won yet? there is a bomb and they are not evacuating. There is a BOMB and they are not evacuating oh the bear can talk, how dare i assume that a bear is incapable of speech the bear is a twunk, scratch that, still a bear, is...he doing a christiphor walkin impersonation? aaand that’s enough for tonight, starting fresh later We're back, 13 more episodes oh so were getting into why i don’t like astrology Enigma machine omg. sorry, im a sucker for bits like that i wanna have long white hair too, i could rock that look How does Paraclese still have an accent after all these years? It is like destiny's Rasputin and just a stubborn superiority complex? something about visiting villains you can talk to in a prison is-ohp thats just all of um huh, cameo episode- err, anyways, it just paints a delightful scene about the relationship of the protags and antags and villainy as a whole in the world well this is horrific, throw some brownish red stuff around and it would be a silent hill scene update: still gay Thirteen more episodes and they have the disk...that does not bode well for what is going to happen the writer's willingness to reference other hannah barbara characters/shows is great oooo anticaptilism, BF is scoring points excuse me???? cyborg dragon girl???? he cant even call her by her name through most of the episode wtf??????? see now im at the point i gotta ask, is this a real ghost thing, or a fake ghost thing? ah i understand now youd think he would be more willing to explain to th-there we go so the animal companians are more suceptible, but they all have the risk Paraclese talking about these cattle is every gm talking about their homebrew monsters omg writers wth was that conclusion for the cattle im dying sk-ska zombies. ska. zombies. i can pick it up oh like the dancing plauge but worse, nifty these ghosts are rude boys, like, thats actually one of their names. And just caught that it the band name is skatastic oh they mentioned the dancing plauge, thank you wtf 101 the 'lighthearted' tone of this episode speaks dark tidings about the horrors to come aaah, hex girls, omg oh damn, update again: still hella gay bards duels be like, but for real loving this more and more young me is crazy about having the hex girls interact with a magicy thing like the disks, the rest of me is concerned at the events that are taking place scooby agrees, and his dog girl friend...well that was something Ricky displaying increasing regrets is not going to do good things for his lifeespectancy ohp then he drags in the other two well, i didnt see that coming for the criminal identity this little girl just had her mom ditch her for a stranger that robbed them, the heck i should probably eat dinner at some point, or like, anything at somepoint... calling it now, this guy is a circus performer/stunt driver, and if he is the random hired british poolboy it is a fake accent he's lureing women away with emotional intemacy. thats funny in itself, btu that they accept so readily still isnt normal oh and apparently kinks, lured with kinks so hes going to be the librarian dude then?? maybe? k, so at least i got that o.o O.O, well, that was quite the lead up and explanation food on plate, depresso in heart, ready to continue so they have to know right? like, this is a planned trap since Fred is 'the only one who knows where it is' doesnt explain Fred though, or how the fake acts "jeepies you found my scarf" oh there it is, they are after the info from him and its all fake, not some hell vision to show why he has to suceed Fred knew first? good on him plastic surgery, holy crap, next level villainy here holy shit they're all in puragoty thanks to the corrpution?????? Going back to early about the horrifying nature of all this. it is just so immensly sad watching them go through these bits. Cool, but sad. Velma demonstrating why thinking and understanding are not always good in eldritch horror games so he's got a guilt complex? heart felt talk with Mayor Dad awwww, poor Velma doesnt think she's pretty guessing...well id say the wife of Enrique but that seems too easy some how, stiill shes the only offered suspect beside Enrique himself thus far *deep sigh* i will never guess any culprit i bother to write down correctly would be a real move of the writers to Uzumaki the town two day deadline given, props to velma for having the foresight to model the disks in a digital format incase theyre lost mad max mystery machine sounds like a doom metal synth wave fusion song things are going too well... How many giant evil doors will this lair have? alchemy. of course. should have guessed. is...is this the episode where Marcie...oh no oh at least shes trying good on her, she's going down in style and flame... oh. ya know, even knowing it was coming and talking it up a sentence before, not a happy event this is a nifty dungeon last episode, hell of an opening/recap wh-what fghaseguk this went batshit didnt it. i wish i had the willingness to write at unhinged as these writers one more media that i am surpised didnt end in a poly relationship this climax is eerily familiar to the live action movies at times and then they all died and went to heaven aww Rickee and Cassidy *and* Velma and Marcie, aww, my heart will heart to think about that one for long, but awwwww Miskatonik University, or however the heck it is said. i thought it was going to be a one off joke but wasn't expecting that.
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survivor-kuwait · 5 years ago
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Episode 14 - “Maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time” - Owen
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What the motherfucking ass shit was that. Who in their right mind would let it slip so that Ian/Devon would play an idol. And then Matt playing the idol, first of all wtf I didn't know he had an idol. But god damn that was messy. I'm shook that Maynor and I didn't get any votes in the revote, but wow that paints a target on our backs which is the last thing I want. It makes me feel great about where I'm at with the people I've been talking to and even those outside the alliance. So this is both good and bad but wow messy. Ahhhh I still don't know how to feel, but if that revote tied then maynor and i would've gone to rocks and been out since it would only be us and yeet there I go.
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I feel super shitty for doing that to Corey. I don't even know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want to have to use my tiebreaker yet and if it had tied I was not about to let Timmy/Maynor go home. I never wanted to turn on Corey in this game but the way this merge has turned out ugh idk. I had to make a choice and I had to choose the group of  people I feel comfortable with over the group of people I'm only tied to because of Corey. It was shitty all around. I'm sorry Corey, I know you're going to be mad at me but asdfkjhf fuck i love u :((( god im shit. okaythat was actually kind of crazy tho and I'm honestly a little happy it went down like that? two idols OUT OF HERE! and that ian idol couldve been so fucked up later on. matt's idol gone got me happy af too. I feel closer with timmy and maynor after this round and hopefully matt knows he cann trust me for not blowin up on him about his HIDDEN IDOL!!!!  madison and I got closer a little this vote too. I'm glad she was on the same page as me. It's a little awkward to deal with the aftermath of devon and ian. especially with corey or cullan coming back.... cullan I can deal with but corey not so much. thats gonna suck. i still got my idol i still got my tiebreaker and a threat is still leaving either way. but now when the pieces rearrange next vote I gotta work hard to pull them together in my favor. kjDFHSKJSF goooooooooooooooooooooooood idk. that wa swild. i said at tribal that the game was gonna blow up soon. maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time lmao
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Oh... WIG guess this tribal popped the hell awf. At the time of my last confessional I had no intention of playing my idol, but things were just so tense and quiet that I knew it should be done, but boy did I not know how badly it needed to be. Now I’m more scared than ever with like 3 pissed off people and all the eyes on me for having a secret idol. Guess it’s time for everyone to stop playing quiet, easy games, and time to go the heck crazy.
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Annnnnd that was the worst possible outcome from that round. I inadvertently idol'd out my closest ally. My game could potentially be over, this very well be my first ever double digit placement in the 9 orgs I have played, but if I'm going out then it's not before I do the only move I got left. I've shared all my information I have been sitting on about Owen/Kait and by extension Matt, how they are aligned with Thomas and Madison. All I can do is let the others make informed decisions on how they think this game can be played best for them. If they choose to let the power team continue to run it for them then that's their prerogative. It's all I have left. At the very least I didn't go home with an idol in my pocket and I didn't burn it without needing to use it.
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So last night, I wanted to die after the votes became 0-0. Me and Timmy had a 1/3 shot of going home but we some how managed to get zero votes against us. I felt really bad about voting for Corey. He was someone i really liked and was working with but we got to different sides. Now ian has some interesting info that Owen and Kait are part of an alliance with Thomas & Madison and also had devon and corey. Idk which side they are most loyal to because they sided with us this time but they could easily flip to other side if they wanted to. I need to keep an eye on them thats for sure.  
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What the hell, 11 idols in play!? Like this twist is crazy. I want and need to find my idol. There is no excuse. I really need it to make sure im here after tribal. Like idk care who its getting votes as long as im safe.
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I have so many feelings on this immunity challenge. Mainly I'm pissed because I don't have an idol clue because I got second so technically I didn't bite Chips so he didn't get a clue for me which sucks because like people like me I guess so I'm pretty much punished for that. As a result it could be easy to vote for me since I have a disadvantage in finding my idol since I don't have the clue. I'm scared because of that since what I learned after last tribal is spicy (and i'll make another confessional about that tomorrow) so I don't even know what to do at tribal and I'm just hoping it's not me. But I didn't give Thomas his clue so hopefully that will help me since he won't know where to look either so that's an advantage for me because I have absolutely no reason to give him his clue, we don't talk. I'm not going to help someone else while subsequently actively hurting myself. At times I also want to try looking at spots for other people to try and get their idol so I know that they won't have it...but that's just a maybe.
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I’m heated and I can’t even do much about it because of the nature of this round. Kait, Owen, and Matt think their sitting so pretty and I’m fucking sick of it. Here I thought I was doing well and hearing shit about them and now seeing it first hand is ridiculous. Owen is kind of slipping up with that trio and here’s why. Owen told me that kait and Matt found their idols, so I messaged both of them asking how their hunt is going. Kait hasn’t answered yet but Matt says “If I get up at 9am and guess every hour I’ll find it” because he’s “figured out the math”. Bitch i already know you have it and now you’re just lying to my face. Like we’re in an alliance together but I guess that doesn’t mean shit to you. I’m assuming Owen even probably has his idol and is lying to me. I feel so stuck because i can’t make a move this round due to the idols, but I’m probably going this round due to not having a fucking idol clue because of the bullshit this challenge was.
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OH OH KAIT JUST ANSWERED “no luck lol I suck” WOWOWOW AND SHE HAD EVEN SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME FIND MINE. Fucking fake people i can’t stand them.
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THIS WHOLE IDOL THING GOT ME CRACKT OUT MY MIND LMAOOOOOO HSKSHDJDJDHD FORST OF ALL!!!!!!! I hate that tommy gave immunity to chips and not Timmy. Why wouldn’t tommy pick someone more likely to give him his clue????? Ugh. SECOND OF ALL. Literally fuck madison and Maynor for giving Devon and Ian their clues. What the fuck were they actually thinking !?!?!?!? Everyone with a clue is gonna find their idol unless they’re stupid or someone else finds it first so like.... idk I genuinely don’t get it. I think Maynor just wasn’t thinking and madison was tryna be social with Devon idek. I’m mad about it and it makes me want madison outta here. Not Maynor tho bc he’s precious and I luv him. Third thing why does Devon think I’m going to believe any guess he sends me nnnnnnn like he sent me matt and Kait random coordaintes that apparently weren’t it. I replied to Devon being like ‘e9 is miss too hehe’ and then realized I shouldn’t tell him where I’m searching and panicked and sent ‘omg typo meant r9 oops!’ Hskshdjdjdh Fourth KAIT FOUND MT IDOL SHSHDHD AND THEN WOULDNT GIVE UT TO ME AND I ACCIDENTSLLTNPOSTED ABOUT IT IN THE TEIBE CHAG AND KEPT IT THERE FOR A MINUTE IM SO STUPID. Literally started crying after. I’m like I can’t velieve I did that but if only my roommate hadn’t woken me up singing I’d still be ASLEEO RN AND NOT FUCKING UP. Or if Kait had just Given ME!!!! Oh my god like I’m rlly embarrassed and if they didn’t know Kait and I were tight before they sure do now! Tommy and Timmy are the only ones without clues. It’s kinda fucked that chips didn’t get a clue for Timmy grrrr. I rlly don’t want either of them to go but if I gotta I guess it needs to be Thomas. But I can tell Kait wants thomasnto stay....
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God I love when the dumb bitch disease flares up 
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Having idol make me happy, but I’m probably gonna end up losing a number, that being either Thomas or Timmy. I can’t even figure out who I want to go out of those two and I hope maybe Ian doesn’t have his? It’s very strange trying to come down from the last vote without really having the chance to vote anyone besides who’s available.
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Honestly this challenge probably could not have come at a better time, just about everyone has their idol so people feel more free to talk since we're all "safe" but if Timmy goes instead of Thomas my game could still be in trouble. The beauty of this round for me is that I planted the seeds about Owen/Kait/Madison/Thomas alliance before the challenge even began, then they played it out exactly how they would and Timmy at least took notice. Timmy has become woke, that's why I absolutely need him to stay, I can't say for sure if Chips is on the wavelength but Maynor seems to be since he shared my clue, albeit late, but he did. I could still end up tenth but if that alliance burns to the ground then I have done what I needed to in this game. I also talked things over with Mateo, we might work together down the line, we might not. At the very least I expressed why I felt we had beef at the beginning of merge and that I was willing to turn a new leaf with him. 
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So this is a crazy round obviously. I really think the trio approach really helped but finding all those idols myself was crazy. Still don’t feel safe in this game for now, going to be a crazy night. 
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I’m so stressed!!! Like I don’t want to go home on a twist round, that already happened in Virgin Islands, like been there done that already. I have Thomas’ idol so I know he doesn’t have it, thank god. People are saying their voting Thomas, but I have no reason to believe them bc they have been lying to me so much. I only trust maynor so if I see after the season that he was lying to me...I’m going to be hurt, like genuinely hurt for a while because he knows how much I trust him. These past 2 rounds have been taxing on my stability and I want to make a move but with the nature of this round, i can’t.
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There were barely any vote talk this round. I found my idol and Im playing it on myself. Im trying to find Timmy’s we only have 2 more guesses. Thomas is the target this round which okay with me because he hasnt been talking to me all that much so dont think he’ll be a good ally moving forward. This round has been not chaptic like last round.
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So this vote has a lot for me to cover. Last time, I was voted out alongside Corey. However, after a 3 1/2 hour endurance challenge, I fought my way back into the game with an idol and a legacy only the jury know about! Coming back into the game there was a challenge which chips won immunity. There was also a twist where everyone had to search the grid for their own idols where I found mine and will be immune at tonight’s vote. From what I know, Thomas does not have his idol therefore will be the person I am voting for and hopefully he goes home and I don’t get blindsided again
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in a shocking turn of events...... i love tommy so much i'm so sad at the prospect of him leaving. 
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Well I am very fucking pissed at the moment. Timmy wanted to keep the fucking idol clue away from me and I wasn't able to find a fucking idol. Now I am going to be going home because of it. I just got to get this off my chest, THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SHITTY! I love traditional Survivor gameplay and stuff like the warzone and the everyone gets an idol twist like Oprah gives everyone a car twist is unnecessary. Like what the fuck! I've been in several ORGs but, no offense to Alyssa, Johnny, and Monty, this has been the worse ORG I have been apart of. I was able to meet Kait, Maynor and Chloe but those were the only posituve things from this ORG aside from a few challenge ideas I got for my ORG. That is it. Peace y'all.
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talkingtodeadguys · 7 years ago
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Thank you!
Hi Christy and Kurt and Kami i just wanted to say thank you so much for answering my previous questions you’re all stars!
I love flowers too! Christy do you have an interest in Floriography?
I never pinned Kurt, as presented in the media, as being a traditional guy which is why I’m really thankful to have stumbled across your blog so you can get the truth out there about what he’s really like. He’s made to look so negative and 2D in some media portrayals from what I’ve read on your blog your recollections really flesh him out into a living, breathing still extant being you’re so lucky to have the gift of communicating with people on other planes!
Have you all seen the new exhibition of Kurt’s paintings and do you paint together?
I’m amazed that Kurt has such eclectic tastes in music it’s kind of epic! Does Kurt still create music and does he have more of an acoustic vibe now? Christy do you help Kurt with lyrics?
Do you share a soul group and is it filled with fellow musicians and visual artists or a real mish mash of people from all over the universe?
Also - sorry for all the questions but I find your gifts to be amazing and that a relationship can transcend death I find to be really cool - can I ask what kind of engagement ring do you have and did you marry in a traditional Catholic ceremony or a Handfasting or something different entirely? ( I couldn’t find anything about your ceremony on your tumblr apologies if this is private and I’m being too inquisitive)
I just want to say thanks again for taking the time to read and reply to my questions :)
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awww you’re super welcome! sorry if they come verryyy slowly, Kurt is a huge procrastinator…he likes to do things on his own time, like i said before…lol. but when you send them, i promise we will get to them.
now,  and ohh you mean like the meaning/language of flowers? yeah, i am interested in that…i don’t know a huge amount about it…and i think it changes if like…you search for it online? one website says i dunno…lilies means this and another one says that lilies means that…but yeah it is very interesting to me.
and well…Kurt is very traditionally romantic. he’s a huge romantic. even in the very…sappy wine, chocolate, and roses way. now, he’s not like that alll the time, but he certainly does have that side to him =) so in that way he’s a traditional guy. and he’s a one woman kinda guy, which also makes him very traditional, and he believes in marriage and marrying people…thats all very traditional. but yes, he’s a very multi-faceted and amazing person like most of us are, as human beings…and yeah, totally…well, ahem, media tends to do that. its easier for the masses to swallow 2D and archetypes than real live people with flaws who are just like us…and a lot of that is also our fault…but i digress… and oh yeah…i mean…i guess so, everyone can talk to people and things on other planes…its not like…something “special” bc we’re not “special” so.
and yeah, i’ve seen pictures. i don’t live in seattle, so i can’t go and see it. and uhh yeah. we do all sorts of artistic things together…kinda thing. he inspires me very much. i work with mainly digital art rn tho. i think we inspire each other very much…
yeah, he certainly does…and i’ll let him answer if he still creates music and if he does, if its more acoustic now…
and no, i don’t need to help Kurt with lyrics, he can come up with those on his own and does XD he’s actually a very beautiful and gifted writer…
and uhhh, i actually don’t know very much about our soul group of anything…lol i don’t know anyone else in it…except for like…Kurt and Kami…i am curious but meh i dunno lol
and nah, its totally fine! i hardly ever get to fuckin’…talk about Kurt! bc everyone would think i was insane! so i don’t talk about him unfortunately…people are very mean and judgmental…so its nice to talk about us and our relationship and Kurt =) totally a breath of fresh air. and my engagement ring is in the shape of a heart and its a little crystal…its clear like a diamond. Kami and Kurt chose it and when like…they were choosing it, they wouldn’t tell me what they got me…it was all a surprise! haha. and oh god…uhm…it was rather simple and none religious…it wasn’t anything like those ceremonies…although…i think both would be nice. i’d love a traditional catholic wedding just bc i like the aesthetic and vibes etc of catholicism and i grew up like that…although i do not consider myself catholic…and a handfasting would be amazing! i’d love to get married like a witch! ooo!~ and nah, its fine…you’re not being too inquisitive =)
and yes! of course! keep sending them in!! like i said before: i never ever get to talk about Kurt to anyone but Kami or our relationship…and it makes me sad so…and like this is a breath of fresh air, so please! you or anyone else is welcome to ask us questions!~
-Christy
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these are Kurt’s answers to some of your questions…haha…be forewarned…he’s silly. XD :
Kurt: 1.‘I’m taking a break from my former asshole and i’ve aquired..quieter interests like writing to help alleviate  my more downer..depressing moods. I find that sometimes art is best expressed through the one you love and my wife is my go-to muse for that. Since having a body is limiting (he’s being sarcastic), i am forcibly reduced to my most basic functions like poetry and lip writing. And the nights are filled with her pleasant screams. I’m very into comics and comic books right now. (He also said something about would’ve having been a comic book artist rn otherwise). 
2. I’m convinced that if we were doing music it would be a certain folk-swing. (He’s being funny and going off the rails..sigh..lmao). 
3. We do (have a soul group), but its not too big. We’re a bunch of hobbits. I don’t care if they’re musicians now or not. (He’s shrugging).’
Kami: omg he’s lennon-ing lmago ( note: she’s laughing bc he’s being like john lennon is in interviews...watch any john lennon interviews, and you’ll see what kami is saying here, lol)
-Kurt + channeled by Kami
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grcy-blog1 · 5 years ago
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⌈ kim taehyung, cismale, he/him ⌋ hey, is it GRAY SIWOO that you’re looking for? you know, the TWENTY-ONE year old STUDENT. typically i see them hanging around ROAST CAFE so you could try there! i hear they’ve been in living in SAUGATUCK RESIDENTIAL for HIS WHOLE LIFE. gristol wouldn’t the same without them, right? anyway, whenever i see them they make me think of ripped jeans, colorful retro sunglasses, painted nails.
some quick info:
full name: gray siwoo
age: 21
date of birth: june 10
gender: cis male
pronouns: he/him
orientation: bisexual
occupation: student
allergies: peanut
zodiac sign: gemini
ok so gray was born and raised in gristol by his parents. his mom moved very young from korea to study abroad ( law more specifically ) and decided to stay when she met his father ( politics major ) and the two of them fell quickly and deeply at a very young age. however her family didn’t agree to it so she decided to cut them off even though she was very attached to them, so gray doesn’t know his family on his mother’s side at all. never spoke to them, don’t know what they look like, anything.
she didn’t come from a wealthy family but his father did!  once gray’s grandfather passed away his father being the only son took over their real estate brokerage business, making their lives way too easy. despite having her degree, his mom decide to dedicate herself to her family only and her kids, spoiling him rotten and giving literally everything he wants. gray could pretty much get away with everything if he pouts, which has helped him into his selfish and manipulative behaviors where he needs to get what he wants one way or another.
however, in order to shape him into a decent human he could get anything he wantedin his parents terms. he wasn’t handed everything, his dad was very rigid about that. instead he had to work  for it. do chores around the house, get good grades, that kinda thing. that really shaped him into a working man dhsuidfh ( even though most of the time his mom would let him off said chores )
TW DEATH
his mom was the sweet one in the house, but when gray was around 12 his mom fell sick and they discovered that she had leukemia and gray watched as his mom was no longer her best-self and never left her side to her last breath. his father was never a very loving type of father and often times he wanted to protect gray from seeing his mom that way but even at 12 years old gray was very mature and refused to let his father take away his time with his mom. the day she passed away was the day gray disconnected from his father completely, he blames him for her death and refuses to believe that now they can have a relationship when he spent so much time busy with work and away from them. gray still suffers a lot with her death but he never lets it show, not wanting to be vulnerable around others and doesn’t really want to worry his sister more than he already does.
he tries to not let the sadness and all the negative feelings take over him, figuring that his mom would want him to be kind and respectful to others like she was. he misses her dearly, she was his everything.
END OF TW
his dad has been the MAYOR of gristol for a couple years now, still a couple to go and will probably run again. gray thinks it’s hilarious that he can’t even take care of their house, how could he handle a whole town? but doesn’t say anything, in fact he takes advantage of his dad’s title to do whatever TF HE WANTS
his dad is also lowkey a homophobic and is that type who sees two guys kissing and public and cringes and comments about how its an indecency but wont do the same for the straight couples lol so gray prefers to hide that he kisses boys too from him but for everyone else he is out n proud ok 
at school gray was always kind of popular, he had his group of friends of course but he was naturally very social. he liked to talk and make people laugh and that continues through this day. he’s very sarcastic too which can be funny and because he’s a gemini he has those mood swings so pls be patient, sometimes he’ll be funny and cheerful and sometimes he’ll lock himself in his room for days without explanation
he was always very into music and was classic trained since he was a kid. that was very important to his parents. he can play piano, guitar, he can sing but he doesn’t think he can so he avoids the whole thing, loves playing though, especially the piano. catch him randomly playing just because at 6 am to wake up everyone because he’s THAT annoying lmao
his father demands a lot out of both him and expects him to be the perfect son and beCAUSE of that he goes against everything his dad wants. he wanted gray to attend politics school as well so he could be like him but gray decided to take arts instead, which he loves btw - he’s very artsy and loves to paint, draw, do some digital art and all that
he’s not a very big spender thankfully ( except w clothes tho ) , he likes to save his money even though thats never really lacked in his family.  he has plans of eventually leaving his father’s house and moving somewhere else away from him, the only reason why he hasn’t yet is hana. he can’t leave her. he’s simple, but likes to dress well and is obsessed with technology, he always has to have the newest phones, notebooks, watches, video games etc
very addicted to his phone and social media, instagram specially, in fact he likes to posts his art content and everything he does in there, updates his story all the goddamn time, i’d say he has a big following bc homeboy has a pretty face
a little bit of a hoe not going to lie, he’s very flirty and loves seeing his charm work on people, he tends to not let it go very far unless he feels very attracted to the person, he’s not the type to go fuck randoms and all that, he needs to have some type of connection before he gets intimate with someone
he can be a little hesitant to get close to people because he has major trust issues but once u get him talking there’s really no way to stop him, loves to roast and tease people just to be cute, he likes attention
a gentleman, he’s the real boyfriend material. he will open the door for you, carry your bags, carry yOU if you say you’re tired, go out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable, he’s your servant feel free to abuse it
however there are times where he snaps out of nowhere or just wants to be alone and is mean all suddenly but after will act like nothing has happened lmao
EXTREMELY affectionate, likes to touch hold hands hug kiss, he likes it when people play with his hair but all of that only applies to people he’s comfortable with, if you don’t know him well don’t touch him
[ anxiety tw ] he suffers w anxiety a lot due to his mom and stress and fighting w his father, sometimes he disappears and that’s when he’s having a crisis. he has panic attacks when its at its peak and he works out a lot and does yoga and all that as well as taking medication to keep it all at balance for his own sake [ end of anxiety tw ]
tries to eat healthy and watches what he eats a lot, he used to be chubby for a bit as a kid and that pushed him to work on himself which also makes him a little insecure about his body and his appearance. it’s still a little hard for him to believe that someone could be attracted to him and it’s also hard for him to just take a compliment without turning it into a joke.
neat freak, likes everything organized and clean and will freak out if you come over and mess up his room or go through his things
has terrible luck with relationships but never says no to love, tbh he’s a hopeless romantic and loves the chase. loves to gossip and he’s a bit shady when he doesn’t like someone ( which is not often this boy has a heart of gold ) fiughduf
omg i tried to keep this short and failed miserably
here’s some possible connections but i’m always up for anything
friends, ex-friends, enemies
someone who pretends to like him but actually talks shit about him behind his back
exes in good terms, exes in bad terms, there can be a few exes fjfgsdfhf
some sort of toxic relationship where they’re playing w each others feelings
flirtationship
someone he has a crush on but the other doesn’t or vice versa
a best friend, give him some bros pls
A CHILDHOOD best friend pls i love those
cousins, neighbors etc
party friends
iDK class mates
family friends
will they won’t they type thing
first kiss, first times etc
ENEMIES, people who just dislike him for any reason
someone who used to be friends w him but for whatever reason they have stopped talking ( perhaps a fight ) and now it’s either awkward as hell or they’re on their way to working things out
hook ups, friends w benefits etc
someone that likes fashion a lot too so they can go shopping together
work out buddy lets go
someone that likes his content on insta and knows him from there iDK
idk i’ll think of more later i swear
hit me up for plots love yall im excitED
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