#like.. woc are trying to say something and yall are just talking over them??

[enbyzutara]

Hello?

Do you know that... this whole problem was never about NSFW content?

I do consume Zutara NSFW content, but only when Zuko & Katara are aged up, because, yes, it's problematic if you like to read & like/reblog NSFW content in which Zuko and Katara are still minors. I don't think I need even to explain why it's wrong to consume NSFW content which has minors.

(Plus: the original post, where the person was talking about NSFW content, they were only asking for people to tag correctly content that are NSFW. This person wasn't a minor, they're just asking to people to tag NSFW content as NSFW content. Simple. This isn't something hard to understand.)

(And I think everyone by now should already know that they should tag correctly NSFW content, because of the minors in the fandom.)

And like, I understand that some Zutara Shippers were in the fandom when they were only teenagers, and at that time they had a crush, or something like this, on Zuko. And it's not wrong that you, now, as an adult, still thinks he's a cute/beautiful character. But, it's quite questionable if you're a whole grown up ass adult and you've been in the internet calling a 16 year old character hot & sexualizing him.

“Please... but he's just a fictional character. Oh, he's just pixels”

Look:

I don't care?

Y'all are looking like misogynistic otakus.

Summary: Zuko is a minor, a teenager, who's only 16 year old. So, if you're an adult, and you sexualize him, you're gross. It doesn't matter if he's just a drawing. Sexualizing minors, even if they're pixels, it's still gross and wrong.

And about you saying “Antis will be blocked” — Do you know that, people who started this discussion, asking for not sexualize Zuko, was a POC Zutara Shipper? This isn't a Zutara Shipper VS Anti problem. This is about racism.

Some WOC Zutara Shippers are talking about what they feel uncomfortable with in our fandom space, and they're people who like Zutara just as much as you. And when they are talking about this issue, about racism, you, a white person, should just stfu listen to what they're saying. Please, don't talk over them. It's wrong. So... if a WOC says to you that they don't feel comfortable with something, then you should just listen to them, ask sorry (if you did something wrong) and move on. This isn't that hard to do.

So, when you're reducing this to just “fandom drama”, and calling these WOC Zks “antis”, you're are being ignorant. Don't reduce racism to fandom drama. You are being racist.

I ship Zutara and yes I prefer NSFW content and yes I'm white and I have been here since 2005.

And Zuko is hot. And has nice back muscles.

Period.

Antis will be blocked.

[spookiekewchie]

spookie coochie👻

—got a spooky twat, for your appetite...

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Characters: Syd (London) x woc!reader

Summary: The one where things get a little crazy between you and Syd.

Word Count: 2.3k+

Warnings: general language warnings, drugs, murder, use of a ghostface mask, unprotected sex (use protection yall), high sex, girl on top, slapping, scratching, knife play, choking, squirting

A/N: DAY TWENTY ONE OF KINKTOBER! It's literally inspired by the song Spookie Coochie by DOECHII. Special thanks to @olyvoyl for telling me to write this for Syd. The divider is by @firefly-graphics

DO NOT repost or translate my work anywhere. Reblogs are always welcome, and let me know that you enjoy my fics.

There’s loud music playing, drugs and drinking in abundance, you laugh as you walk past someone dressed as the wicked witch of the west who’s making out with the Bride of Chucky. A loud pounding on the front door pulls you away from the mind boggling sigh. Opening it has your smile dropping instantly. “Oh let me guess, Tweedledee and Tweedledum?” You say when you see who’s standing on the other side. The two men roll their eyes, clearly unamused.

“Ha ha, look you know what we’re here for, don’t waste our time.” The shorter haired one says, stepping forward to start barging his way in. You shake your head, and try to close the door only for his booted foot to stop you.

“You heard what I said last time you sad sacks showed up without my fucking money. I’m not giving you bums shit until you pay me for the last time.” You snap at the two junkies that are barging into your little costume party. They’re Syd’s friends and you’ve told him more than once not to invite them around anymore until they paid you what they owed you. The two men chuckle to themselves, looking you over as if you’re all talk and no threat. That just pisses you off even more, and you yank the Ghostface mask up to your hairline so that they can see your harsh glare. That just makes them look at you like you’re a piece of meat, and you huff. You know what you look like, knee high boots, short skirt, fishnets, a black corset that has your cleavage on full display. It’s sexy Ghostface, and right now you don’t look like much of a killer.

“Yeah we heard you, but I think we all know that we can take whatever we want from you sugar.” The stocky well built one speaks, Brock you think his name is and you grip the hunting knife in your hand tighter. You may not look like much of a threat right now, but the knife in your hands is very real and you’re just itching to slit a throat right now.

“Brock, get out. I’m not dealing to you or Scarface here.” You snap, and the one you remember is named Rollins bristles at the mocking nickname. You barely get a chance to bask in your cheap shot when Brock slams you against a wall and the party that’s going on comes to an abrupt halt. You can see a couple of your guys gearing up to intervene and you wave them off while keeping your dark gaze on Brock and his glowering friend.

“That was rude, now how about you stop being a stingy bitch and give me and my buddy here what we came from. We know you have some on you, where is it?” He demands, groping at you as he searches for a baggie of something, anything. Brock doesn’t care, he’s just chasing a high and you know he’s unfocused and desperate. It’s something you can use to your advantage.

You simper up at the man, batting your lashes and running your free hand down his chest. “You’re right, I’m being rude. Come with me to the bedroom and I’ll make it up to you.” You look over at Rollins who’s still looking grim, but you can see the flash of interest in his eyes. “Both of you.” You add, licking your lips and just like you have both men on the hook.

Brock lets out a laugh, releasing your throat and giving you a slap on the ass as you begin to walk away. “Syd know his girl is such an easy whore?” Rollins grunts out, and you set your jaw in an effort to keep yourself from snapping at the two of them. You’ve got plans for them, and while murder may be the nuclear option, it’s the quickest way to get your point across.

“What Syd doesn’t know won’t him.” You reply, smirking to yourself as they let you lead them to the privacy of your bedroom and as soon as the door closes behind you, you slit Rollins' throat first, turning around so quickly that neither him or Brock register the movement until it’s too late. He crumples to the ground, clutching his neck as if he can stop the blood. Brock curses at you, lunging in your direction only to feel the hunting knife sink into his chest.

“Crazy bitch…” Are his last words, and you yank the knife out of his chest with a grunt. He’s right, you are a crazy bitch and he should have known better than to try and fuck with you. You’re about to call your guys into the room to move the bodies into the bathroom when you hear the sound of someone’s panicked breathing. You spin around on your heels, coming face to face with a shocked and freaking out Syd. Precious Syd, your favorite customer, your favorite lay, and you really don’t want to have to kill him too if he can’t keep his shit together. You have to think fast, and the only thing you can think to do is drop the bloody knife onto the bed so he doesn’t freak out even more when you start walking his way. “My friends!” He shouts, sounding frantic. “You killed my fucking friends! What the fuck!”

“Your friends owed me money, and they attacked me. They got what they deserved.” You tell him with a tired sigh. Syd words his mouth like he wants to say something else, but nothing comes out. You mutter to yourself in frustration, you can’t even enjoy the adrenaline rush that getting rid of Rollins and Brock gives you.

Looking over at Syd, you can tell he doesn’t know what to do, he knows Brock and Rollins are bad news, and he can only assume that they deserved it but actually seeing you kill two men, two men who he called friends, with no remorse or hesitation has him about to go into a tailspin. “Syd, baby. Calm down, you’re gonna hyperventilate if you keep that up.” You tell him, and he shakes his head like he’s trying to get the image of the two dead bodies out of his head. You reach into your cleavage, and pull out a baggie of white powder, and shake it in front of Syd’s face. That gets his attention, and you smile sweetly at him, opening the baggie and pouring out a messy line against the swell of your cleavage. His eyes follow your movements, and you see him take half a step before hesitating. “It’s okay, baby. You need this, it’ll help you calm down.”

Syd nods at your urging, closing the distance and bending down to snort at the line of coke on your breast. You watch as the effects take over, the euphoria makes him relax and he encourages you to take a bump yourself and while you normally don’t bother with the coke you decide you can indulge just this once. You scoop out a small amount with your nail, bringing it up to your nose and inhaling it with a groan. Closing the baggie you slip it back in your corset and reach for Syd, pulling him in for a kiss as the effects start to take you over as well. “Fuck, Syd. You’re a bad influence on me.” You tease, smiling when you hear him laugh. Thank god for drugs, you think. You turn yourselves so his back is to the bed, and the bodies of Brock and Rollins are out of his line of sight, then you push him down and fumble with his belt and jeans until you can pull them and his boxers down in one pull. You climb on top of him, throwing a leg over his hips to straddle him. You drag yourself over his length, feeling him growing harder against your sex as your slick starts to coat him.

“Shit, c’mon don’t tease me.” He whines, head pressing back against the bed, eyes squeezed shut. You throw your head back with a giggle before reaching up to pull the Ghostface back down with one hand, while you grip him and line him up with your entrance with the other. You lower yourself, letting the blunt head of his cock push into your entrance. You hiss at the initial stretch, hips squirming as your body adjusts to him. When it does, you sink down on him cursing at how full he leaves you feeling. Syd opens his eyes then, looking up to see you with the Ghostface mask on and he gasps in shock, moaning a second later when he feels you rolling your hips against him. “Oh fuck—shitshitshit…” You can seem him losing it, no doubt the sight of the mask of a killer from a slasher flick is fucking with his high mind. It’s a little mean but you can’t help but fuck with him a bit more.

“What’s your favorite scary movie, Syd?” You ask, dropping your voice an octave as you rock yourself up to the tip of his cock just to drop your hips and take him deep. Syd stutters, clearly stuck between pleasure, confusion, and fear when he sees you leaning forward to grab the bloody knife from the bed. You cut through the fabric of his shirt, shredding it in two to expose the man’s bare chest. The tip of the hunting knife teases against his skin, and Syd goes still when you begin to drag it slowly up his body. Syd’s so far gone that he doesn’t even realize he’s moaning, or the fact that when you press the knife to his throat that it makes his cock twitch. He doesn’t even care right now that the knife still has the blood of two other men on it, all he cares about is how good it feels to have you riding him while your tight walls squeeze around him.

Sex with Syd is always good, but right now you feel like you’re floating, like you’ve got fire in your veins and its just heightening every sensation until it has your head spinning. There’s also the adrenaline rush from earlier that makes you feel like you’re vibrating and it makes you want to chase another rush of euphoria.

You pull the baggie from your cleavage again, watching as Syd disregards the knife and presses harder against his throat. You laugh, pulling it away so you can pour out another line for him to snort off of your breasts. He groans and falls back against the bed, letting you pour out a line for yourself against his collarbone. “Shit babe, you feel sooooo good.” You moan, dragging the edge of the knife up your thigh as you circle your hips. You’re so wet that you’re dripping and you can hear the wet schlick schlick schlick of your cunt around his cock every time you lift and drop your hips to fuck yourself on him. Syd’s hands frame your hips, and you reach out to leave a slap against his cheek that makes him moan and thrust his hips up into you just as you bring your hips back down. “Fuck...you like that?” You give him another slap and he reacts the same way, gripping your hips tight enough to bruise.

“Fuck, that’s it. Use me, make yourself cum all over me.” He pleads, fingers digging into your hips as he rocks his hips up to meet you each time you drop onto him. You’re so loud, crying out and moaning for him that if it wasn’t for the loud music blasting just outside the bedroom door you’re sure all your guests would be able to hear you right now. You drop the knife, hands bracing against Syd’s chest and dragging down to leave red streaks in their wake. He bucks into you harder, almost knocking you off balance if it weren’t for his tight grip keeping you there. You can feel the pressure building, every time you drop down on him the coil tightens more and more until it finally snaps and you’re cumming hard and grinding yourself against his cock. Syd moves a hand from your hips to slide under the cowl of the Ghostface mask so that he can wrap it around your throat and squeeze. You feel him holding you in place, his hips snapping up to hammer his cock into your fluttering cunt.

“Fuckfuckfuck...Syd! Don’t stop!” You can feel yourself being pushed to another climax, and Syd doesn’t let up until he has you squirting for him when you do cum again. Your nails rake over his chest, and you know he’ll be wearing your marks for a few days with how deep your nails have sunk into him. “Cum for me, baby.” You demand with a breathy moan, voice tight from how he’s squeezing his hand around your throat. Syd cums a second later, the sound of you begging for his cum being the thing to send him over. For a second you wish you had your phone on you to capture his pretty mouth hanging open as he feels his orgasm wash over him. His spend coats your walls, and he gives you a couple thrusts after the fact to make sure he fucks it deep into you before he pulls out and lets you roll to the side and lay next to him.

You breathe heavily, reaching up to rip the mask off and toss it aside with a laugh. Syd pants next to you, chest heaving as he stares up at the ceiling in a stupor. You know he’ll be coming down soon, and you’ll have to deal with the inevitable fuss he’s going to make about his very annoying and very dead friends. Until then you’re more than happy to bask in the afterglow.

[chocopvffz]

My Problems with Fandom

It’s been a while since I’ve kinda just let out my thoughts and feelings on this stale hell site. It’s just now more than ever I’m having the weirdest realizations while I’m participating in any Fanbase. This topic may piss ppl off. But to that, I say fuck it, I’m gonna do it.

Around 2 years ago I took a backseat to actively participating in fandom. So I’d be more of an onlooker rather than someone who contributed. Just reblogging stuff rather than making my own content. Usually in fandom, things are said in the heat of the moment, with little thought and more emotions. Taking a step back I started to realize that while that’s fine in and of itself, You’re entitled to what you like and what’s interesting to you, but I’ve realized that people kinda settle for the bare minimum. Especially now that representation for marginalized groups is becoming the norm. Which is great, but there are still problems that plague us as a community.

I just finished watching Unicorn of War’s video on RWBY, and they delved into the absolutely garbage writing that surrounded The White Fang subplot. I highly recommend you watch the video, it’s about the bad representation of minority oppression and how it relates to RWBY as a whole. While this post doesn’t stem from that in particular. what did was though is how UoW confessed that they were guilty of completely ignoring how harmful the writing was for pocs, as well as downright silencing and downplaying poc that had a problem with the writing. Unicorn of War is not racist, the fact that they realized the type of systemic racism they’ve been inadvertently spreading is so harmful is a a step in the right direction. Here is where the problem lies. UoW said that they were a perpetrator of this because they were to focused on the representation the show did give the fans. They said that they lumped all of the genuine criticism of the problems with homophobes and bigots because they didn’t want to hear any of the criticism at all. RWBY has some pretty shit representation in ever field. UoW said that they were settling for the stuff they did get because they get so little, and their whiteness blinded them to listening and trying to understand why so man poc had an issue with the show.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that, a lot of the time In Fandom, ppl would rather settle for what they do have and what caters to them, rather than criticize a product of its faults and ask for more.

I’ve been scared to talk about She-Ra because the fandom is pretty scary. I liked the show. To me it wasn’t anything special. But it was a fine show, and I can’t wait for what the crew does next. But here’s where a lot of the issues come from for me. There are some problems both w/ the show, and the representation. Catra and Adora have been queercoded up until the very end where it does get revealed that they are in fact lesbians. Which is great and all but at the end of the day. They kiss at the very end of the last episode, nothing was explicit before then. But the thing is that Catra is an abusive manipulative person, that kinda just gets a pat on the back, and all is forgiven when she realizes she’s alone(both in the fandom and the show). I mean glimmer got more hate than Catra. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve seen way to many ppl ignore the fact that they side stepped the development of Catra and Adora, and kinda get mad at the ppl that criticize that we could have gotten better rep. For a lot of the fans, at least from what I’ve seen, yall are okay with the problems the show has as long as you get some form of rep. Which is valid, but when that complacency spills over into silencing ppl with criticisms. This usually happens when someone has had another experience with the show where the thing that represents them isnt done as well. it rubs me the wrong way. Someone could see Catra’s behavior, liken her to a toxic person they knew, criticize how the show kinda ignores that. I can bet that some ppl would tell this person that they’re wrong, because she ended up where she did at the end.

This brings me to my last example, during my watch of Infinity Train, I started getting a little bit more involved in the fandom; reblogging, commenting. During the show I noticed a small amount (larger than I would have liked) making passive aggressive remarks toward Grace (the only black girl and protagonist of the season). They were all in regard to her having a redmeption arc. At first I was kinda in denial. Like most ppl are immediately after suffering an injustice, cuz despite her being an awful person at first. She gets better. And there are so little black women that are protagonists. I felt represented. But then I’d see ppl demeaning her in order to make her friend Simon (basically the antagonist) more sympathetic. Mind you he’s white. And after the show ended I had a weird encounter. There were many posts about how enthralling it was that Grace, a black women, telling Simon, a white man, that his problems were his own, and she doesn’t have to be the one to fix them. Most of the ppl that made these posts were woc. The show isn’t about race, but the fact that the character is black resonated with a lot of ppl.

Under ever single one of these posts, I saw multiple people, getting weirdly angry at them. Like “this has nothing to do with race, why are you bringing it up here.” Which I guess is fair, but no one says it as much to ppl when the post is about sexuality. So getting fed up, I responded to one of these ppl explaining how odd it is that the characters that get really popular are always of the same archetype. White Sad Boys, it’s the same with ships. Instead of critiquing the show or anything I wanted to call attention to subconscious biases in fandom. The person accuses me of calling them racist, tells me that race isn’t an issue in fandom, and tried to gaslight me into thinking that what I was talking about doesnt apply to how ppl choose who their favorite character is.

This issue here isn’t about the race, or the actual content in the show. It was about the person telling me that the empowerment I and other woc experienced while watching infinity train s3, doesn’t exist and we shouldn’t criticize ppl putting her down in order to uplift the antagonist.

Which leads back to the point I’m trying to make. So many ppl in fandom settle for whats there instead of trying to make things more representative of everyone. Representation can always get better, we just have to stop fighting ppl that give constructive criticism to the things we like.

And I’m completely guilty of this too, that’s why I took a step back. I don’t like silencing ppl when they try to criticize something that resonates with me. So I try to sit back and let them tell me what can be done better based on their experiences. I’m still struggling. I’m pretty sure I was ultra defensive with the person telling me that race doesn’t matter.

This happens a lot more with white ppl than it does with people of color. And this isn’t a dig on any white person at all. It’s just that white have a vastly different experience than a poc. A white LGBT person is going to have a completely different experience than a black lgbt person. Just like a cishet white person is going to have from a poc cishet person. And since we have different experiences, there are aspects of my life you won’t understand and vice versa. An abuse survivor is going to be more equip to tell us what works better than other things in a story that tackles those subjects. You see what I mean.

I just want everyone to take a step back and consider the criticism that is being made. And try to understand why this person may see it that way.

TLDR; We need to stop silencing marginalized ppl just because they criticize things we relate to, especially when it pertains to their experiences. It’s settling for the bare minimum when we deserve better. Just because we’ve got a gay character doesnt mean the show is perfect. It happens way more than we think. Especially now more than ever.

Sorry this is so long, and full of typos. I just needed to rant.

[pumpumdemsugah]

couldn't believe it when people were praising janelle as a black q*eer gnc queen. like she's told the story about her outfits and the girls face stays beat so what! are yall talking about? and the loudest voices were other woc tbh. they were claiming her as nb-qwpc rep and ignoring me as a black woman trying to make em understand how masculinity to a black women is .. not a good look. no one wanted 2 hear that. they dont care about black women unless its for a laugh or #yasqueen wokeness.

it really just goes to show no one actually gives a shit about what Black women has to say cause she’s LITERALLY said why she wore suits. its very easy to google

she’s told the story about why she wore suits and it had nothing to do with being GNC. she was honoring her parents, the fact she worked as a cleaner, working class people and she also didn’t want to be sexualised as a Black female artist. she’s a fucking feminine woman but so many people on this site are so insecure and pathetic they leech onto anything to live vicariously through that person then project an identity onto them. How is any of this not supremely racist? gender is so bloody important to these people but they dont actually care about what the person they’re apparently defending has to say. they know best 

the suits she wore were always tailored in a feminine way and she always wore make-up. she’s you’re regular ass feminine Black woman but she’s  quirky and has a nice fun of style, lets appreciate that 

Black women really do have to be be over the top feminine for people to look at us and not say we’re masculine. It also doesn’t help masculine Black women because you’re telling them they need to be feminine to be masculine cause they’re Black and they definitely cant be women if they dress so masculine they’re sometime perceived as men sometimes. being a woman is being hyper feminine but this isn’t sexist cause you said non-binary of whatever 

Its not just white people because the first janelle monae is gnc post i saw was by an south asian woman who started off by rabbiting about this gay Black woman in the past that wore suits and there was this pic of her with lipstick on and in a suit so she got it in the dumb head that something something white people janelle monae is gnc lmao. i hate how stupid you are and how much everyone enables it cause ohhh you mentioned the whites

some Black women ARE masculine and love it but pushing non-womanhood onto us is racist. telling us what we are when we’re told you is paternalistic and racist. what’s worse is the people doing this are often gender conforming in everything but the fact they’re saying im non-binary and i use they/them pronouns but the fact that i dress in the way society expects (and im also very comfortable doing this ) is actually oppression

i don’t exist in relation to non-manhood or non-womanhood, i am a woman. why do i have to say that for you racist ass rats ?

This is what i mean by femininity won’t save us. People need to respect us and listen to us regardless of presentation because we’re not symbols we’re people, we’re women 

[lovelybones81]

Unthinkable

Summary: Seven years, three movies, two people, one story. But before they can get their happily ever after, Sebastian Stan and Camille Solis must learn to trust in each other and in themselves, before allowing the unthinkable to happen.

Warnings: Fluff, future smut, Language, Angst, mental health, WOC lead character

Rating: NC-17

NOTE: Hi yall! I’m reposting the last chapter because for whatever reason, it’s not showing up on my masterlist! I’m working on the next chapter as we speak! **update: I’ve decided to combine the last 2 chapters as one, since they are are so short! 

Chapter 15   The Hard Stuff

 “Dude! Where the hell have you been?” Chace Crawford exclaimed, gently slapping Sebastian on the chest.

 Sebastian distractedly took a long drag from his cigarette. “Huh? What?” Blowing the smoke from one side of his mouth, his eyes wondering around the large outside terrace. “Have you seen Cass?” He asked, ignoring Chace question completely. “Or Camille?” 

 Chace gave his friend a curious look, but before having the chance to respond, a female voice interrupted. “Chace!” she whined. “I thought we were going to dance?” Sebastian frowned in annoyance at the voice.

 “Get us another round of drinks.” Chace ordered sweetly. “I’ll be right in.” The woman didn’t argue, just gave him a beaming smile, turning on her heels and making her way back inside. Once the admirer was out of sight, Chace turned back to Sebastian. “What happened to you?”

 At the same time Sebastian asked again. “Have you seen Cam?”

 Yes, Camille. That’s who he needed to talk to. He wasn’t sure what would come out of his mouth if he found Cassidy first. He was fuming. 

 “I saw Cass inside with-. “  Chace stopped as realization hit his face. “Oh.” His eyes widening. 

 “Yeah.” Sebastian muttered after taking another long puff. 

 “C’mon man, you know she didn’t mean any harm-“ 

 Sebastian glared. “She needs to learn how to stay out of people’s damn business.” Taking an angry puff off his cigarette. Camille, himself, Alyssa and Chace had an early dinner. Then met up with a few other mutual friends at a high-end bar/club Chace has suggested. He had been having a pleasant night until about twenty minutes ago. The night has been going pretty smooth, with drinks, dancing, laughing and flirting all around. He even gotten a nice buzz after a few beers, but it slowly began to fade when someone bumped into him at the bar. 

 His first thought was: Camille coming to join him after she had disappeared to the ladies room. But he had been mistaken. Sebastian hadn’t talked or seen his ex-girlfriend since the breakup. At first, it had been because of their busy work schedules, but eventually it was by Sebastian’s choice. As more time passed, a few things had begun to come to light about her unfaithfulness during their time together.

 “She must have put her up to this-. “  Chace said, trying to defend Cassidy. 

 “Yea well- she should have known better.” Sebastian growled, putting the beer bottle up to his mouth. Wanting desperately to get the alcohol buzz back. He knew drinking was not the answer, but it was the only thing he could control. Beer and a cigarette was all he needed at the moment-and talking to Camille. 

 “Camille did come out here with me...” Chace mumbled, looking around his surroundings with concern. “Wait-she was with Cassidy before you went to the bar. I thought she-“ 

 Chugging the last bit of his beer, he tossed the empty bottle in the trash can closest to him and snorted. “I think I would have noticed if she has been standing next to Leighton.” He might have reacted a bit nicer if Camille had been around. Instead all the anger, confusion and hurt had seeped out and he had been nothing but snippy with Leighton and Cassidy. And from the expression on Cassidy’s face, she had thought she was doing a service putting them together in the same room. But before Sebastian had the chance to say anything, she quickly disappeared with a lame excuse. Leaving him alone with his ex. 

 By then, people had started to gawk and Sebastian knew he would have to be the adult and walk away. He wasn’t as well-known as other actors but in the New York scene people knew who he was. And they especially knew about the relationship with Leighton. So he said his hello through gritted teeth, even giving her a quick hug before walking away. It had not been enough. She followed and cornered him, wanting an explanation on why he had been avoiding her phone calls. Before he even realized what was happening they had made their way into one of the VIP bathrooms, bickering and fighting. 

 It wasn’t his style. But something inside of him hated the fact that she had shown up at the same bar he was at. Because he knew it had not been a coincidence. She planned this.

 “Oh wait.” Chace started. “She got a phone call!” nodding vigorously at his revelation.  

 “Who?”

 “Camille!” He peeked over his shoulder. “So she’s out here somewhere.”

 Sebastian laughed despite his mood. “Thanks man.” Placing a hand on top of Chace’s shoulder. “Did you see which way she went?”

 “Toward the other side of the terrace…I think.”

 Glancing down at the watch Camille had given him for his birthday, he wondered who she was on the phone with. It was past midnight in New York, and even though it was 2 hours earlier in Los Angeles, he was pretty sure Tia Yolanda was already in bed. Which meant she was most likely on the phone with her sister.  

 He took a puff from his cigarette once more before speaking.  “I’ll find her.” 

 Chace nodded. “Cool.” Glancing eagerly over Sebastian’s shoulder into the inside of the bar. 

 Sebastian smirked. “Didn’t you send her to fetch drinks?” He teased.  

 Chace glared back at Sebastian. “Ha-ha.” He said sarcastically. “I’ll catch you later.” He must have spotted the female admirer inside because Sebastian didn’t even get a chance to say a word before Chace quickly disappeared back into the bar.

 Shaking his head, Sebastian turned on his heels in the opposite direction, in search of Camille. The outside terrace was bigger than he expected, for the next 15 minutes he walked virtually all the way around with no sight of her. He was about to give up and head back inside, but came to a halt- from the corner of his eye, he spotted her leaning into the rails of the terrace, half of her body turned to him, with one elbow slanted over the top of the rail, her head tilted to the other side. Sebastian’s eyes looked her up and down. Once again, flabbergasted of how strikingly beautiful she was- even if it was from the back side. Tonight she had chosen to wear a dark pencil skirt with a low back cream cami, outlining every single curve and strappy heels to match, her curls up, divulging her neck.

 Sebastian licked his lips sensually, putting the last bit of his cigarette out in the corner ashtray, forgetting for a split minute why he’d been looking for her in the first place. His thoughts couldn’t help but drift to whether or not she was wearing anything else underneath the skirt.

 But as quickly as the thought came to him, the faster he chastised himself for thinking it. Besides, checking her ass out was not the reason he had been looking for her.

 What he needed was his friend who would listen to him. For the last few weeks he had been trying not to burden her with his problems, but now realized he did need someone to talk to. Camille’s words from the night before resonating; about him being her best friend. He felt the same way. Camille was now part of his core of friends, one of his best friends. He wasn’t sure of where their relationship was going to lead or end up -if earlier conversation was any indication (it felt like a seesaw at times trying to guess who would pull who down first) but they were in each other lives now and Sebastian wouldn’t have it any other way.

 She was intently into her conversation she hadn’t notice him nearing closer. He stood a few feet away, his ears picking up on the phone call. 

 “Did you drive?” Camille asked in a troubled tone. There was a pause on the other end as she listened to whomever was speaking. She spoke again. “Okay- I mean is there any way you could have someone drive you home? Or pick you up? You shouldn’t be driving-.” She pleaded softly. The person on the other line must have been arguing because he heard Camille say: “Promise me you’ll get someone to take you home.” She urged. “Do you want me to call-. “ Getting interrupted again. 

 Sebastian watched her body language, one finger nervously playing with a few curls that had fallen from the top of her head. Sighing she spoke again. “I know you’re sorry-but we can-.“ But not able to finish her sentence, instead she let out an exasperated sound. “Why?” Another pause, as the voice on the other side of the line spoke. “Because you’ve had a lot to drink and you aren’t making any sense right now.” Camille’s voice sounding defeated as she straighten up, back still to Sebastian. 

 He wasn’t all the way sober, but the pieces slowly started to fit together on who she was on the phone with. And it made him clinch his jaw in annoyance. Wasn’t she avoiding his calls? Isn’t that what she had asked him to do earlier in the park? Hit the ignore button on her phone? Why hadn’t she done that again?

 “I know you wish it wouldn’t have happen.” Camille lamented. Sebastian knew he should not be eavesdropping, but couldn’t seem to move from his spot. “But it did. And I really don’t want to talk about this-.”  David must have interrupted because she was quiet for a few more seconds. “Right now you just need to find a way to get home.” 

 Sebastian felt his stomach tighten in anger, listening to her plead with him. And why the hell was David calling anyway? She was thousands of miles away, she couldn’t do anything from New York. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? 

 “David-this isn’t the time.” Anxiously tugging on the curl wrapped around d her finger. “I-I don’t know when-but it’s not right now.” She stammered. “No I can’t come home.” Another long pause. “It’s not that-.“ Stomping her foot lightly on the ground beneath her. “Don’t!” Camille exclaimed in her best stern voice. 

 Sebastian had the sudden urge to take the phone from her and throw it over the terrace. Yet a part of him was annoyed with her as well. Why continue to torture herself? 

 “If you show up, you know Nat will not hesitate to call the police.” Camille warned. “And I can’t meet you. I’m not back in LA yet.” Letting out a dejected sigh, as if she knew the conversation was not going to lead anywhere new.

 She spoke again. “What? I’m not understanding.” David must’ve repeated himself because the next words out of Camille’s mouth were: “I’m not sure. Maybe in the next few days?” Slowly turning around so she rested against the terrace rail and at the same time tossed her head back. “No, not in Manchester.” Sebastian heard her murmur. He must’ve asked where she was, because she hesitated to answer. “Just promise me you’ll fine away to get home.” Trying to change the subject. “I can’t stay on the phone with you all night.” 

 Even though she no longer had her back to him, she still hadn’t notice him standing there. She was quiet for a few minutes, the phone still to her ear, listening. 

 “This is not how we should be having this conversation.” She started again. “Why have I been avoiding you? Because this hasn’t been easy for me and I needed to try and deal with it.” Another long pause. “Hold on I can’t hear you.” 

 Sebastian watched her take the phone away from her ear to tap the screen. 

 “I want us to work this out.” David’s voice came over the speaker phone. “I miss you.” His words slurring. 

 “Just get home.” Camille repeated. “Okay?” 

 “No!” David’s voice adamant. “Not until you say we will-will work this out. Not until you say you’ll talk to me when you get back here.” He pushed, and she shut her eyes, not saying a word. “Camille? Ille…” he pleaded.

 It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see the hurt in her as she listened to David plead with her. If he could only see what his actions were doing to her.

 “These last few weeks haven’t been easy.” She confessed. 

 “I know sweetheart. And it’s my fault.” David replied, his words still slurring. “I love you Camille. I-I love you.” 

 She rubbed a hand nervously over her face. “I know David.” 

 “Then let me p-prove it. Let’s talk okay? Please. I know you still love me. We’ve been together too long to just end things this way.” He was begging now, that was obvious. 

 Good. He didn’t deserve her. 

 Camille folded one arm across her chest bringing the other arm up with the phone up to her face, listening. Sebastian watched her quickly wipe a tear away. “I’m gonna get off the phone.” She managed to say. 

 “Wait-sweetheart-“ 

 She shook her head even if though he couldn’t see it. “No, no. I gotta go.” It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself. “You’ve obviously have had a lot to drink and I’m not exactly the most sober person right now... and answering was a mistake.” Taking in a shaky breath. 

 David wasn’t giving up so easily. Sebastian heard him quickly speak again. “Okay, okay-at least think about it? Please? Say you’ll think about seeing me when-when you get home?” 

 Camille wiped another tear from her face before answering. “If I do-will you head home right now? Have someone pick you up?” She tried to bargain. 

 “Yeah. Yes.” 

 “Okay-I’ll think about it.” 

 “Yeah?”

 “Yes.” Camille stated. 

 “Great!” David said too enthusiastically for Sebastian’s taste. “You know I love you right? I love you.” He repeated for what seemed the 100th time in the past 10 minutes.

 Sebastian watched Camille turn to lean into the terrace railing again. “I know.” Sebastian heard her say. “I...love you too.” 

 Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair, feeling like someone has just stung him in the chest, listening to Camille say those three little words to someone else. He knew he shouldn’t be listening. It wasn’t his business. Camille was a grown woman after all. Barely hearing Camille say goodbye to David, he turned on his heels, hoping she wouldn’t notice. 

 “Seb?” He heard her call out. 

 He stopped mid-step, jaw twitching, eyes shut. Well, so much for that idea. Slowly he turned back in her direction. She stood in the same spot, only this time facing him, her phone gripped tightly in her hand, a forced smile on her beautiful face. 

 “No wine?” She tried to tease making her way toward him. 

 “Huh?” 

 “I thought you went to the bar to get us drinks?” 

 “You disappeared on me, so it just seemed useless.” He said in an edgy tone, not sure where it was coming from. Camille must have noticed too because her eyes widen in surprise. 

 “What’s wrong?” She quickly asked, taking a closer step. 

 Sebastian shook his head, not meeting her gaze. “Nothing.” He lied. 

 Was she going to tell me him about David? Or just pretend like the conversation had just not happen? What the hell was wrong him?! Who was he to demand any explanation from her? But he couldn’t seem to control his emotions at the moment. He was annoyed and angry on how she handled the whole situation with David.

 “Liar.” Camille stated with a suspicious glare.

 Her response only infuriated him. So he snapped back. “Are you okay?” mirroring the same look she had given him.

 Tilting her head to one side, she broke the gaze for a split second, pressing her lips together before locking eyes again.  “I’m fine. What makes you think I’m not?” 

 So she was going to pretend as if the phone call hadn’t happen. “Just making an observation.” 

 Wrinkling her forehead. “Did I do something to upset you?” She asked cautiously 

 Was he upset? Fuck yes he was. His cheating ex-girlfriend had just cornered him, and he had just heard the girl he had feelings for confess her love to her cheating ex fiancé, so yes he was a little upset. And confused. And he needed another cigarette and beer to deal with this. Could he possibly be overacting? Yes. But his drunk ass was not listening to reason at the moment.  

 Shrugging nonchalantly he responded. “No. Why would I be?” 

 If he wasn’t irritated himself he would have been scared of the dirty look she was giving him. She shrugged and snipped back. “Just making an observation of my own.”  

 Sebastian wasn’t sure how long they stood there -just staring, but it was obvious they were both trying to figure out what the other one was thinking. He spoke up first. “We should probably get back inside with everyone else.” Pointing in the direction of the club. 

 Camille’s face soften, reaching out to touch his elbow. “Wait- Sebastian what’s going on?”

 He knew he could talk to Camille, that’s why he had been looking for her in the first place. But after hearing (fine, eavesdropping) on the conversation, he was hesitant to do so. It didn’t make sense, it was just how he was feeling at the moment. “Nothing.” He repeated, forcing a smile. “I just need another beer.” Patting his back pocket. “And maybe a cigarette…” he mumbled to himself. Where the hell did he leave his pack? Maybe his behavior was a bit petty, he just couldn’t help himself.  He patted his pants again. “Where the hell did I put them?” He mumbled to himself. He looked up in surprise when Camille handed him the pack. 

 “You asked me to hold on to them while you went to the bar.” She reminded with a small smile. 

 “Thanks.” He muttered. Shit, he had. That conversation felt like so long ago now. They had been flirting for most of the night. Getting closer and closer as they sat in the VIP area with the rest of his friends when he’d realized Camille’s glass was empty. So he offered to get them refills. 

 “Sure.” Camille answered, gripping tightly on to her phone. 

 Glancing down at her hands, Sebastian found himself asking. “Were you on the phone with someone?” He didn’t know why he had asked but a part of him wanted to know what her answer would be. 

 Camille looked anywhere but his face, licking her lips nervously with a shake of her head. “No.” She answered simply. “Just needed some air.” 

 He gave a small nod back, taking another cigarette out of the pack. Okay, so she wasn’t going to tell him about the phone call. Why did it bother him so much? Because for the last months they shared everything. Not sure of what else to say, he put the cigarette to his lips.  

 Camille took another step closer, facing him. Without warning she took it out of his mouth. “What happened?” 

 He glared, trying to grab it back from her. “What are you talking about?” 

 She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “Well, 20 minutes ago you were all happy and drunk and now you look like someone hurt your puppy.” She tried to joke.  

 He was getting tired of this conversation. What was the big deal? She didn’t need to know his mood change had to do with her and his ex. “You’re right- I’m upset.” He started. “I’m upset because I’m out of beer.” Trying his best to not sound cross with her, he forced a smile, but it quickly faded when he spotted Cassidy walking toward them. Camille opened her mouth to respond, but shut it when she saw the look on his face. She slowly turned her head, following his gaze. Cassidy stood a few feet away, nervously bouncing on the balls of her heels. He clinched his fists at the sight of her. He needed to control his anger. Or at least try.  

 Cassidy tugged a strand of blond hair behind her ear, slowly walking over to them.  “Sebastian, I’m so sorry.” She stated quickly. “I had no idea she was going to do that…“ Stammering the last part. 

 Sebastian couldn’t help but glare. “You know Cass -you should really learn how to stay out of peoples business.” He barked. 

 “Sebastian-. “  Camille warned. 

 But he wasn’t listening. He was angry. Why did everyone else think they knew more about his relationships than he did? Cassidy had been pushing for Leighton and him to reconcile for weeks now. “You knew exactly what would happen.” He accused. Camille watched the both of them, not sure of what was going on. Sebastian continued. “You just have to be the middle of everything...” 

 Cassidy eyes widen at the words. “I said I was-“ 

 Sebastian brought a hand up. “If I were you- I would keep quiet because nothing you say is going to change any of this.” He snapped. If he wasn’t so upset he would have felt a bit guilty at the way she looked right now. 

 “Sebastian-. “  He heard Camille repeat softly. “Maybe this can be talked over tomorrow?” She suggested. “When everyone is a bit more sober?” 

 Breaking the gaze from Cassidy, he looked back at Camille, his jaw twitching. “This really doesn’t concern you.” He blurted out.

 Camille raised both eyebrows, in confusion and hurt. But it quickly fade, the look in her eyes held anger as she narrowed them at him. Chewing on her lower lip she cleared her throat, taking a step back from him. “You’re right.” She said shortly. “I’m sorry.” Looking between them. “I’ll be inside…getting another drink.”

 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Sebastian let out a large frustrated sigh. He hadn’t meant to make her feel alienated, he just didn’t know how to handle all these damn feelings at the moment. And he wasn’t thinking clearly. He watched her take two steps (leaving Cassidy standing there) before he quickly made his way to her, grabbing onto her elbow. “Camille, wait- I’m-I’m sorry-“  

 Camille glanced at him over her shoulder, eyes not showing any emotion. “It’s fine.” Trying to break free from his grip. “Let go.” She ordered through gritted teeth. Sebastian knew better than to argue. He dropped his hand and she gave him a grim smile. “Thank you.” And without another word, walked away from him.

----------------------

 “Thanks.” Camille muttered walking straight past Sebastian when he opened the front door of the apartment. Without another word, she began taking the hair pins out, a headache coming on. Letting her curls fall to her shoulders, she gently massaged her scalp, moaning softly, eyes shut. She opened them back up to find Sebastian watching. Quickly she moved the hand away, as they locked eyes. Maybe if she wasn’t so irritated with him, this could have led to another one of their little flirting sessions, but she was feeling humiliated from earlier, that not even his good looks could sweet talk him out of this. “I’m going to bed.” She announced.

 “Are you seriously going to ignore me?” Sebastian probed, the look from a few seconds ago disappearing, shutting the door behind him. “In my damn house?” Camille turned on her heels, giving him a blank stare. He pursed his lips together and blew air out of them. “I guess you are.” He concluded, flipping the light switch on. “Look-. “  He started.  “I’m sorry about earlier-.” His eyes filling with regret.

 She cleared her throat with a shake of her head. “And I said it was fine.” Trying to avoid eye contact so he couldn’t read her emotions.

 Sebastian snorted, shaking off his jacket and tossing it on the end of couch, mumbling in Romanian. Camille only scowled, wishing she understood what he just said. “Well at least you’re talking to me now.” He observed. She opened her mouth to protest, but swiftly pressed her lips together. Raising one eyebrow, Sebastian snorted again. “Oh yeah, everything is fine. You’ve barely said two words to me since we left the bar.” he accused, walking toward the kitchen.

 He was right. She hadn’t spoken a single word to him on the taxi cab ride. Mostly because she was too heated to say anything. Her anger and hurt was not only because of Sebastian, but also due to the conversation with David.

 Sebastian had every right to tell her to butt out of his life, it was just the menacing tone of how he had asked that bothered her. It was fairly obvious he was upset. Camille wasn’t sure if his anger was directed toward her. And if it was, what the hell had she done to deserve it? They had been having a fun evening- or at least she thought so- before he had gotten up to the bar. And maybe she was overacting. Her mind was foggy with David’s word; his confession of wanting to fix their relationship still lingering in her head.

 Plus she was not completely sober. So having serious relationship discussions while under the influence of red wine was not ideal. Yet, her heart couldn’t help but skip a beat at the miniscule possibility of working things out with David. But then again maybe that was the wine talking. She shook her head slightly, as if doing so would somehow would make all of her jumble thoughts evaporate.

 “Camille?” His voice sounded so far away. Blinking a few times, her eyes focused back on Sebastian’s face. Her stomach clinching at the sight of him. Unsure of how he fit into the puzzle of her feelings. Because despite the anger she felt at the moment, Sebastian was important to her. “Camille?” he repeated, only softer that time.

 Running one hand through her curls, she mumbled. “I’m just gonna go to bed-. “  Maybe sleeping would help clear the mind.

 “Wait-. “  His voice gruff, feeling the familiar tingle down her spine when he touched her hand. “Can we just talk? Please?” 

Camille’s eyes fell to where their hands touched and she pulled it away. “What are you gonna say? That you’re sorry-“

 “Yes.” Sebastian interrupted, those blue orbs growing wide almost in she would forgive his moment of assholeness. 

 “Okay.” 

 Sebastian took a step closer, squinting in suspicion. Obviously not happy with her answer. “Now who’s being the -“

 “Asshole?” Camille supplied. 

 “Okay,” he started with a nod. “I deserve that.” She blinked slowly in response. Camille wasn’t going to make this easy. He frowned, running his fingers nervously through his hair when he recognized it too. “C’mon Cam. I don’t like this.” He paused. “I wasn’t upset with you....” 

 Raising a perfect eyebrow, not saying a word, she licked her lower lip. “Is this what you meant earlier?” She snipped despite trying to keep her tone even.

 Sebastian looked at her in confusion. “What?”

 “About seeing this side of you?” she prompted. The confused look in his eyes evaporated at the words. Instead those blue soft orbs Camille had come to know, slowly turned icy. Pretending the look didn’t bother, she tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. Fuck maybe she shouldn’t have said that. Because she had a feeling she’d just pushed the wrong button. Biting on her upper lip she shook her head. “Never mind.”

 “No. If you have something to say then say it.” The beautiful sculpted jaw clenching and unclenching. His face inches from hers now. The smell of mixed alcohol and cigarettes hitting her nostrils rapidly. “I just think it’s funny though…you not willing to let this drop when I heard you easily forgive someone else-“

 Camille’s eyes narrowed, his words making her stomach drop. “Wait-. “  She stammered, moving a hand up and taking a step back from him. “W-wait-what?” Her eyes searching his face for answers to something she already knew. But she wanted to hear him say it. Yet her anger wasn’t going to let her. “You were eavesdropping?” she growled. “Are you kidding me Sebastian? Who do you think you are?!” her voice escalating with every word. She sucked in a shaky livid breath. “You had no right to do that-I-I-.”  At the same time, taking clumsy step back, almost tripping on her heels.

 Sebastian was quick on the draw, gripping her by the waist before she fell backwards. “Take a breath.” His voice calm.

 She glared, shoving the arm that was around her waist down and off her. No! He wasn’t just going to make this go away with his charms and looks. He had been listening to her conversation with David. She had wanted to process it by herself before deciding to share it with anyone. Before deciding to share it with him. And he had violated her privacy. “Don’t.” she breathed when he took a step toward her. The alcohol was not helping the emotional roller coaster she was going through. Quite the opposite, it heighten it. And everything was still fresh, Sebastian’s and David’s words. And her own muddle thoughts.

 Was she exaggerating? It was possible. But her mind and heart were not on the same page at the moment. Their eyes locked and Camille saw the apprehension in his. Almost as if regretting what he just said. Well it was too late. There was no taking it back. Tears forming in the back of her eyelids, she looked away.

 Why the hell was she going to cry?

 She heard him sigh loudly. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Taking a step close again, and trying to make her meet his gaze. Camille sniffed, stubbornly not meeting his eyes. “I was looking for you....and when I found you -yeah....you were on the phone.” He finished lamely. 

 “And instead of leaving you decided to stand there and listen -“ 

 “You had him on speaker phon-!” Sebastian bellowed but stopped, clinching his mouth shut to keep from saying anything else, instead waving a hand in front her. After a few moments of silence, he let out a dejected sigh, rubbing the top of his head nervously. “I was looking for you.” He repeated slowly. “To talk.” He paused for a long moment. “And yea, maybe I could have... walked away-“ 

 “But you didn’t.” Camille snapped. 

 Sebastian scowled and repeated. “But I didn’t.” He crossed his arms, seemingly frustrated. “Why are trying to pick a fight?”

 Her jaw dropped at his accusation. “ME?” she yelped. “I wasn’t the one who was acting like a jerk.”

 “I told you I wasn’t upset with you-“

 The tension in the room whirling between them like a tornado funnel. Furiously shaking her head, Camille continued. “It was before Cassidy walked out into the terrace Sebastian. You were upset with me.” Rubbing her hands nervously up and down her own arms and shoulders. “You still are. I might not know you as long as Charles or Chace but I’ve been around long enough now to know when something is wrong or bothering you.”

 He threw his head back in an exasperated sigh. “I was looking for you, Camille. Because I wanted to talk.”

 “But you didn’t talk.” She indicted. “Instead you acted like a damn prick.” Sebastian’s eyes widen in surprise, and she could have sworn his lips twitched upward at the word. Any other time, Camille would have welcomed an innuendo comment, but not at the moment. And Sebastian picked up on it, because he kept his mouth shut. Her feelings were hurt and trying to joke out of it was only make it worse.

 He hastily reached out for her, tugging softly on the loose curls closest to her neck. “Draga-.”  His fingertips touching her skin now. 

 Her body shiver despite her mind wanting to shut it down. She gave a small shake of her head. “Don’t-Sebastian.” She warned. 

 “Don’t what?”  Stroking the skin behind her left ear

 “You can’t sweet talk your way out of this.”

 She heard him snort. She glared. 

 “You know, we act more of a couple than couples do.” 

 “Well, it’s a good thing we aren’t one then.” She bit back

 Sebastian glared at her remark. Okay, she could have been a bit nicer with her response. Clearing his throat. “You’re right. It’s a good thing we aren’t.” The tone of his voice icy, his hand dropping from her. Great, neither one was saying or doing anything right tonight. 

 Sebastian’s mouth twitched in annoyance, licking his bottom lip. “You know what? You’re right, bed sounds like a good idea.” It was obvious her words had stung. He took a step back. 

 It was her turn to reach out for him. “Wait.” She said with a sigh. “You said you were looking for me.” She stated softly. Despite the feeling of anger towards him at the moment, she still cared. And she wanted to know he was okay. Something had obviously happened between the time he was at the bar to the time he walked outside. Then it dawned on her. “What happened with Cassidy?” He gave her a dubious look. “Oh right.” She mumbled. 

 This is why they were having this whole fight/argument about. Camille not minding her own business.

 Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows and said dejectedly. “Think whatever you want Camille. I already said I was sorry. I mean, you’re the one letting other people off the hook over worse things.”

 Camille’s jaw dropped at his words. “I’m sorry not all of us can be perfect like you.” She snarled. “I’m sorry I can’t just snap my fingers and make all these feelings disappear.” Her voice breaking. She was projecting her emotions. That was fairly obvious. “Unlike you, I can’t seem to push my feelings-.”

 “You want to know why I was looking for you?” he interjected, before Camille had the chance to continue. “The reason why I was so upset? Why I’m still so pissed off?” He snarled. Camille jumped slightly at the tone of his voice, pressing her lips together to keep from speaking. She could have snapped and told him to fuck off but the look in his eyes stopped her. Why? Because they mirrored her own feelings of confusion, hurt, anger and sadness. And just like hers, they were caused by someone else. Sebastian continued. “Cass let Leighton know about tonight. It shouldn’t fucking matter, she is free to go wherever the hell she wants, but Cassidy’s brilliant plan was to get us together- for what? I don’t fucking know.”

 Camille watched him, unsure if she should speak. He clearly needed to vent his frustrations of seeing his ex-girlfriend. Before she could stop herself.  “You didn’t have to talk that way to her.” Referring to Cassidy, then bit her lower lip. Maybe she did need to learn how to stay out of other people’s business.

 “I know.” Sebastian mumbled, running his fingers through his short hair, before locking eyes with her. And there he was again- the gentle Sebastian. The one she had come to know and care for in the last months. The one who always made her laugh, and feel safe and good about herself.

 “What did she do?” Camille found herself asking. 

 “It doesn’t matter.” He said with a shake of his head.

 Camille groaned in frustration. “Fine, kept shutting me out.”

 He glowered. “You have your own things to deal with-.”

 “What are you? 12 years old? Besides you were the one that told me there was no shame in talking to him.” She reminded.

 “You’re right. I did say that.”

 Camille narrowed her eyes, knowing exactly what he doing, trying to deflect. “You wanted to talk. That’s why you came looking for me right?” she paused. “Then talk to me.” Almost pleading.  

 Pursing his lips together, Sebastian shut his eyes, as if debating with himself about whether he wanted to share or not. Opening his eyes again, he spoke. “I found out from mutual friends…that she was not being faithful while we were together.”

 Her stomach dropped at the words. They were all too familiar. Quickly, things started to make sense now. Why he had been so hesitant to talk about Leighton. Why he wouldn’t take her calls. Her face must have held a look of shock, because he smiled despite everything. “Why are you smiling?”

 “Because- this is why I hadn’t said anything.” Walking toward the living room, plopping himself down on the couch. “The look on your face. I didn’t want to make you feel-.”

 She felt a bubble of annoyance hit her stomach. “I hate when people tell me how to feel.” She warned with a raised eyebrow. “Why don’t you let me be the one to decide that?” Following his lead, she made her way toward the living room, sitting on the arm of the couch. “It didn’t cross your mind that maybe I would be able to relate?” 

 “It did.”

 “You could have talked to me-.”

 “And I told you I wasn’t ready.” He gripped. “Besides you have your own shit to deal with...” 

 Maybe it was the fatigue of the last few days, combine with the events from earlier in the evening, plus their own feelings but Camille felt the very little self-control and reserve evaporate her body. “Which you’re shaming me for.” She snipped back, standing up, nervously playing the shoulder straps of her dress.

 He gritted his teeth. “You’re a grown woman Camille. And we both know it’s not what I’m trying to do. Don’t try and make this into something it’s not.” Getting up from the couch, and walking around it to get to her. "I just don't want you getting hurt. Again." he confessed. He was standing in front of her now. 

Giving him a sad smile, she said. “It’s too late for that.” He opened his mouth, but she waved a hand dismissively. “This isn’t about me anyway.” And it wasn’t. Yes there was shit she was dealing with but it didn’t make her blind to others problems. Especially Sebastian. He snorted taking a step back. “What?” She asked. 

“This isn’t something that can be fixed.” 

“I know that. I’m not trying to.” She argued, getting aggravated with him again. “I just thought maybe you could use someone to talk to.” Slipping her heels off, she bend down to pick them up. “Goodnight.” She simply stated, gripping the straps of the heels, and turning in the direction of bedroom hall. Camille wasn’t going to argue anymore.

 “That’s it?” Sebastian called after her.

 “Yep.” Camille said over her shoulder. She was a few feet from the guest bedroom door when she felt a hand grasp her wrist. Without looking at him, she said. “I’m exhausted Sebastian. And we just keep going around in circles with this conversation, so I’m going to bed.” Rubbing her temple with the palm of her free hand. “I’m not trying to force you tell me how you’re feeling, it’s not my place- you’re right. But it doesn’t mean you have to be dick about it.”

 He tighten the grip on her. “Camille.” He pleaded, but she refused to make eye contact. He released her hand and she let out a sigh of relief, but it quickly turned into a gasp of surprise when she felt Sebastian slip around her, standing between the bedroom door and her. She shut her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Look at me.” He ordered gently.

 Camille’s eyes fluttered open, a small frown on her lips. He had one hand gripping on to the door handle, while his eyes searched her face. After what seemed like an eternity, Sebastian whispered. “This isn’t easy.” At those words, Camille finally met his gaze in curiosity. He didn’t have to elaborate, Camille knew exactly what he meant, but it still didn’t get him off the hook. He inched closer. He was so much taller that he hovered over Camille, those blue eyes dropping to her lips. Tilting his head to one side as if deciding what to say next.

 The way he was eyeing her at the moment made her break the gaze. “Sebastian…” she started, trying to push past him to get into the room.

 “Cam-.”

 She furiously shook her head. “No, Sebastian.” Giving him a small shove that made him drop his hand from the door knob. The anger from earlier resurfacing. “I’m done.” Trying to not be distracted by those long eyelashes.

 “You’re the one that wanted me to talk about it!” Pointing to himself in disbelief. “I can’t fucking win with you tonight!” he mumbled.

 At those worse, Camille felt every inch of her body heat up, but she wasn’t going to argue. Instead, she reached behind him and gripped on to the door knob, twisting and pushing the door open behind him. His jaw dropped in surprise at how quickly she pushed past him, into the spare room. “You’re right, you can’t. So let’s just stop okay?”

 “You don’t mean that.”  But Camille was already closing the door in his face.

[hoochy-coo]

I’m not saying this about you or anyone specifically, but I’ve seen so many of your anons and other blogs say that KJ isn’t really problematic because the things she’s done aren’t that bad to them and you’ve backed it up.

It’s really interesting that people will see how affected BIPOC (Black women especially) and LGBTQ+ persons are by the harmful actions of White celebs and still try to gaslight us by saying “it’s not that bad” and then attempt to vilify us for... being offended by the capitalistic and inherently racist actions of celebs. Like, yall are definitely entitled to your personal opinion, but just be honest about the fact that you would rather support a rich White woman than BIPOC and LGBTQ+ persons.

Just be honest about your privilege in being able to overlook something that doesn’t affect you, purely because it doesn’t affect you personally.

“Also, what I may consider to be offensive enough to make me consider a celeb problematic may not be all that bad to some of you guys and it goes the other way as well. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong tbh.”

This is what I’m referring to specifically when I say you’ve backed it up. Not clearly condemning problematic behavior, is backing it up... like, I don’t understand trying to be objective when it comes to White people repeatedly doing clearly shady and racist sh*t...

First of all, I’d just like to apologize to you because clearly you feeling like I’ve backed up some of these anons’ opinions on Kendall has made it seem like I’ve neglected the feelings of other minority groups like as you said, BIPOC and LGBTQ+. 

I just want to clarify that I wasn’t keeping in mind Kendall’s racist behaviours when I replied to those asks since we’ve all been talking about her in the context of what I consider to be debatable problematic behaviours like her potentially being rude to waitstaff and throwing a lavish party during the pandemic. In that sense, I do think people tend to pick on her more due to her family’s rep and let other celebs get away with doing essentially the same thing. If we’re talking about Kendall and her profiting off and appropriating a whole culture that they do not belong to then yes, I am 100% with you that she is problematic. I’ve condemned her and the rest of her family for that on multiple occasions and while some anons have disagreed with me on that, I’ve always stood firm on the fact that I think they’re culture vultures. Kendall herself has apologised for some of these things and whether you believe that comes from a genuine place or not, and if you forgive her for said things - imo that’s up to you. Also, I stand by this: “What I may consider to be offensive enough to make me consider a celeb problematic may not be all that bad to some of you guys and it goes the other way as well.” Because there have been some anons (ones who made it clear they’re a part of the black of the community) that said that they think the Pepsi thing was horrid but they don’t think she deserves to be cancelled for it and hope she learns from that experience. And there have been other anons (who also made clear that they’re from the same community) that said she’s foul for that/she took no accountability or not enough accountability and that she deserves to be cancelled. Both of these anons condemn that behaviour but they don’t agree on the severity of said action and how we should treat her for it. 

There have been anons who sent me messages saying that they think she gets a lot of unnecessary hate over certain things and mentioning that they’re a POC/WOC (whether that’s black or half-black) and I don’t think I’m in the position to shoot down their opinion because I’m definitely not a part of the community and don’t believe I’m in the position to tell black people/women how to feel about Kendall in terms of her racist behaviors in the past. I don’t think it’s right for me to speak FOR these anons due to that reason. 

[bigbrotherorre]

FINAL EPISODE: “DENNIS IS SUCH A KING” - ALI THE REST OF THE GAME.

WEEK 13 

if someone who doesn't love me wins this week then bye bye ashvika 

annoyed that sammy nominated me because i kept him safe last week whereas i could have just as easily flipped to keeping alivia and he could've left...but more than that, i'm annoyed at his speech. i dont think he should've used "you nommed me" as an excuse bc that's lame and he was the first to nom me and i nommed him back so we were even, and then i let him have veto pick when he was nommed and i made sure he got taken off. also conversation is a two way street and i dont see him trying to make a conversation with me either, he could have just said the real reason....i love hearing about how good of a player he thinks i am.... the worst case scenario is if bryce or zeezo win, i think even if the noms stay the same that i have a good chance of staying? granted that autumn and ali don't decide to turn on me and evict me 

why is bryce spreading lies :( i didn't tell ali to nominate sammy.... 

ive made a lot of mistakes this game and there all coming at me now.. my position in the game is terrible and i can blame it on ppl playing not to their win condition or on just the wrong ppl winning comps at the wrong time, but ultimately i could have tried harder convincing ppl to see the light or to do better in challenges so ultimately its on me. feeling really hopeless this week even tho i avoided being a preveto nom i think ill be a post one if literally anyone but me wins veto. and i flopped veto (cwl). i cant wait for after the game for ali to admit that he did tell me that ashvika pushed for sammy to be nommed. order in which id vote ppl zeezo- always worked with me and if she makes it to the end she truly DID THAT ashvika- really took control of the game with her hoh win and after jose left smartly picked up the goats and became the biggest threat randy- a king love us working with/against each other throughout the game and even tho he was voted out im not one to discredit buyback winners autumn- never spoke to me but guess she didnt need to KASDHFK ali- fakest person ive ever met dennis- knows how to get to f2 at least sammy- ignores obvious facts and always makes the wrong move  but good at comps so wooh (me teas too tho...)

somehow i didnt get nommed but like so sad what the heck zeezo is going home like why is everyone so jealous that shes prettier and funnier than them :( why cant we all be her goats <3 i guess its good bc like i cant win with zeezo in the game and i can vote to keep her still, but honestly if i lose in f2 with zeezo itd still be fun bc she has had my back all game :] I AM SO SAD UGHHHH GOD HATES GAYS AND HES TAKING MY TWO WOC QUEENS BACK TO BACK. Now i have ashvika who is a queen but not my queen!! And autumn yikes hates me always :(

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE!!! I did one video confessional for Week 11 and just like never posted it lmao but I will haha and that's all behind me. But anyway I just have so many feelings. Live  night is about to begin, me and Zeezo's war is finally concluding, IM STILL TRYING TO GET MY FIRST COMP WIN, and I'm trying to protect my allies at all cost. Some cracked shit is about to go down and I'm so excited and so so glad I took a nap before this cause I'm ready for anything wooo

RANDY: WIN SAMMY: ... ALI: FAKEST PERSON IVE EVER MET MAYBE TALKS A BIG GAME AND SAYS HES SUPER NICE AND EMOTIONAL BUT SUDDENLY CAN TURN THAT OFF. HE WOULD BE A GOOD VILLAIN BUT HE ACTS NICE AND DOESNT OWN IT AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC ITS SO SOON BUT I HOPE HE CHOKES AND HAS HAYFEVER FOREVER! WHAT EVEN IS HAYFEVER??? HORSE BOY AUTUMN: NEVER SPOKE TO ME BUT NICE DENNIS: FORGOT TO PUT SOMEONE ON THE LIST, KNEW HIS WAY TO F2 AND IF HE DOESNT TAKE CREDIT FOR THINGS ICON AND ID VOTE FOR HIM.

AFTER THE TRIPLE EVICTION...

OK BUT DAT TRIPLE DOE http://media2.giphy.com/media/xUA7aViRhBQPzXNAAM/giphy.gif It was dramatic, over the top, emotional, satisfying, show stopping, gut wrenching- literally everything you want out of a triple. I... don't feel bad for Breezo lmao, not after all the messiness they've caused. But doing Ashvika dirty is literally the hardest choice I've had to make in Orre. Sis I am so so sorry. I should've thrown you a vote but you know how Randy is and you really know how Dennis is. I just--- that was something I like wasn't prepared to ever do, break Ashvika's heart. But like in my beautiful dark twisted mind? It was perfect because I knew I couldn't go to the end w/ Ash but I was never going to nominate her. So here we are rip ALSO LAB AND BREEZO ALL SITTING IN JURY??? BIIIIIIITTTCCHHHHH https://media.giphy.com/media/zcAii7T9JXezS/source.gif If you're reading this, you know I sure did say I would wipe that whole group out and send them to jury and it really did come to pass. John sure did gas all of them up to win and I sure did tell him in my Week 10 goodbye message that they were all bout to walk in behind him. So in the spirit of prophesizing, let it be known that Auli aka Ali and I will make Final 3 because we are the strategic dynamic duo y'all slept on. Like correct me if I'm wrong: we've been on the right side of all 8 "merge" votes (there's no word for like opposite of pre-jury lmao), we ain't been on block since Week 6/7 and it's now Week 14, and we've downplayed our iconicism left and right so we're the last duo standing at Final 5, and no one wants to take a shot at us. BUT YALL STILL SLEEP CAUSE THE MIST IS THAT STRONG. That's ok though! When Randy and Sammy walk into jury next y'all will see Also I'm  dead at how much jury hates Ali hahaha. Deadass he has to stay in the game for safety reasons. Like soooo many jurors wanna kill him. That's my ride or die though so I can't let that happen. Anyway I still feel like shit for obeying Randy, which hurt Ashvika, made Dennis cry, and further dragged Ali's corpse. But the good news is woooo it's Final 5 and these boys all want to take Auli to the end. So do I NEED to win this HOH? No not really. Am I still praying and pleading with God like I do before every comp? Absolutely https://media1.tenor.com/images/1a11748f0c7ce30ab4afd057fab66751/tenor.gif?itemid=5677211

Me when I shocked the nation and won HOH and finally had power in the house after 13 weeks https://78.media.tumblr.com/2a8c6d7cc298da364a847f8f9d767c7c/tumblr_opiih6Z7tB1ub3fcfo1_500.gif Me then using said power to target my baby Randy for the greater good https://media.giphy.com/media/hic9t15zsdwfC/giphy.gif And now me that I'm selling my entire family, land, soul, and wig collection to get Dennis to keep me and kill Sammy so that I'm not Ika Wonged because I know for a fact Ali would take me to F2 and Dennis would be a dumbass not to take me too. AND I ALWAYS BELIEVED IF I WENT UP A FOURTH TIME THAT WOULD BE THE TIME I GO UP ON THE BLOCK AND DONT COME BACK DOWN SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DENNIS BE STRATEGIC AND KEEP ME https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/53/9d/23539d4ab6c13adab50940426d73ed6e.gif

[AFTER F4 EVICTION]

WAIT WHAT HOW AM I ALIVE?? https://media.giphy.com/media/TZ388aYpsLMcM/giphy.gif AND HOW THE FUCK DID I MAKE FINAL 3??? https://yiaelxzosjw9p4bs-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/happy-crying.gif Pray for me if I win Final HOH cause fun fact: I, the strategic legend, have no clue who to fucking take to the end and that's the biggest gag of the entire season BECAUSE I DIDN'T PLAN OUT THIS FAR GODDAMMIT AND I WISH I HAD. Ok that's not entirely true- I knew I should either sit next to Dennis or Ali because ya know contingency plans matter. BUT NOW??? Bitch ion know I just wanna win

CLICK HERE & HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

i've never seen a better reflection of the emotional rollercoaster that is my mental state than these two being filmed less than 12 hours apart jasldfa

CLICK HERE AND HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

okay i have lots of post finale thoughts but i need to type them up tomorrow. i just hope the jury knows how sorry I am if I ever upset them, because I love them all so much and would never want that :(

time for my post finale wrap up and.... whewie. This is so upsetting because, I just did this for all stars. Like it's looking like my track record is LITERALLY going to be 2nd 9th 2nd 2nd 2nd, I CANT COME 2ND AGAIN. I really can't take this. Here is the bigger problem though and this is why Orre will be my last game whether I win or not. I can't keep playing these games when I upset so many people. Like it honestly broke my heart yesterday hearing how much I upset people like Bryce & Ashvika, people I love SOOOOOOO much. I don't want to upset people. Like... what upset me about finale is I don't think the jurors realise that.... I didn't just upset people for the sake of it and ahhh. Honestly, I'm really upset, like not even that I'm coming second but that I upset people. So with that said, I really apologise to the jurors. I got the impression that I hurt you all so bad that you are giving me 2nd as like.... punishment? And while I hate that, if I hurt you all that bad I really owe you all an apology. Anywho, since this is definitely my last game, I've played 183 days worth of games to just come 2nd, and that's just too much. I'm too flawed of a person and player to continue playing these games and just keep coming 2nd. Like it just hurts. so yeah, i'm sad but mainly because this is deja vu. I'm so proud of Dennis for winning, he is such a sweet genuine guy and when he was complimenting me during the finale, it was the nicest thing I've ever heard and I'm so greatful. No matter my game or his, I'd be happy to see Dennis represent our season.

Can I just say... Dennis is such a king. What a kind-hearted, genuine guy. A true king.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okay so I lost.... and I'm weirdly at peace with it. I know I answered the jury questions terribly and I had... some jurors that would never have it in them to vote for me and would actively campaign against me. Dennis is a king, and in a cast with toxicity and SUCH bitterness, I think he is a phenomenal representation for the season. Otherwise, I am really honoured to get Ashvika's vote, she is such a deserving POTS, and to get POTS' vote is always an honour. Autumn and Jose are amazing friends and I am so happy to have got to work with them, John is a player with SUCH potential and he is WINNING BOTS & Zeezo I'm really honoured to get her vote too! For the others, Bryce is a KING and so is Blake (they both seemed really upset by me so I hope we can be friends). Lynn I never spoke to and seems... very bitter about the season's result, but I hope she gets over it because she is also a QUEEN. Randy is a funny one and I'm starting to worry all his friend talk was just him playing into my emotional side, but he is a good egg really I know it. Sammy is a ghost king. I kinda want to end on Alivia. Alivia is a person whose personality is obviously very different to mine and the way she speaks to me and others really upsets me a lot of the time. However, her bitterness against me is understandable and I hope she gets over it, because she defines herself by anger and bitterness when she is such a funny and likable person and doesn't need to do that. but woo... to wrap stuff up, I'm so grateful for Nicholas & Julia for casting me, Owen & Emily for being amazing.... OH, I forgot what I wanted to say. Autumn is a queen, a legend and amazing. She is honestly soo soo amazing, like... someone I really admire and see as a rolemodel? she is inspirational, a queen and a legend. Dennis is the nicest, most well intentioned guy ever SO sweet and really just a genuinely nice guy. I have made lasting friendships with some members of this cast and I'm so happy. so yeah.... i'll probably do another one of these in like a day or so, but if not.... ali out woo

we love coming to jury and being told about my ""showmance""".... wanna die jadfkl. my only showmance was to snakery, my way of life. blake was robbed but also is a broccoli. last words? autumn and dennis are my faves, best F3 ever.

FINAL CAST ASSESSMENT