#like. the book said the biggest faux pas you can make during a social gathering | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ughtheworld · 1 year ago

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I still remember how savoir-vivre book blew away my little autistic mind when I was a child. There were all the weird things in there that seemed obvious and natural to everyone but me. Nobody could explain them to me satisfactorily BUT woud give me weird looks for even asking about it and "overthinking". How far EXACTLY do you have to be from a neighbor to say hi to them. What should you be doing with your hands when you walk. What to do when you enter a room full of people. Etc etc, all the how and why. It was such a relief to finally see somewhere a clear set of instructions on this. Instructions I would choose follow or not, but at least I didn't have to guess all the time anymore.

I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.

#it's good probably that the book was talking a lot about pre wwii high society and diplomacy #so i instantly realised some rules were to be followed and some not #but a lot of what he was discussing i found nice and reasonable and still remember #despite the author insisting they should be kept to the letter if you want to be a respectable person #he had very strong opinions on ladies having to wear natural furs in winter or never pre grounding coffee #but some were really reasonable and nice #like. the book said the biggest faux pas you can make during a social gathering #is to bring everyone's attention to someone elses minor faux pas #because the ultimate rule of savoir-vivre is to make people comfortable and welcome and all the technical rules are secondary to it #and the one about the higher expectations being put on the more priviledged ones

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