#like. roys resilience and love for those around him and his refusal to give up are all very meaningful to me

[carlyraegrayson]

okay listen im pmsing super bad im in SUCH a mood but i was relistening to tallahassee just now and it is so. wild? upsetting? to me that people think no children is a roy harper song like im genuinely so deeply upset abt it bc in order to think that you literally.... have to mischaracterize his entire character and miss the point so completely. in the immortal words of hallie @kalelraejepsen "it is actually very important to roys character that yes children", but its also just... roys story is ABOUT trying to get better against all odds, BECAUSE you have ppl you love and care abt, and it is CENTRAL to roys character that he never gives up and survives against all odds and has endless reserves of resourcefulness. and ALSO like. i GET that ppl are mostly familiar with roy thru outlaws but the thing is that outlaws aside (and honestly? even within outlaws if you contextualize it within the rest of his characterization), despite the fact that roy has abandonment issues because he has been abandoned many times, often through very traumatic events, hes also ALWAYS at the last second helped--not saved but helped--by other people who love him. he never gives up on loving people and thats what gives him the strength to keep going and keep living!!! and that is SO important to me personally, and when people make no children "i hope it stays dark forever i hope the worst isnt over i hope you blink before i do and i hope i never get sober" / "and i hope you die i hope we both die" you REALLY... have to ignore all of that. and idk if ppl are making the other party in the song jason? and thats how theyre interpreting it? but like again i take issue w that bc in order for outlaws to make SENSE, both roy and korys EXTENSIVE history and their extremely complex plotlines and all the conmections theyve made throughout their lives have to be essentially erased so the story can, for the most part, focus on jason (rewriting roys entire addiction plotline/giving kory amnesia abt much of her life prior to earth) and thats just. man idk. or like. are yall trying to make that song abt jade and roy? bc that doesnt work either literally no matter what jade does and even when roy has (oh my god you guys my cat is asleep on my bed and she is SUCH a baby) even when roy HAS to stop jade because she is doing terrible things that he IDEALOGICALLY doesnt agree with, he will do everything in his power to protect her and prevent her from dying bc he has an immense love for her BECAUSE she is the mother of his child, and he literally tries as much as he can to make sure that jade can safely be a part of lians life!!! and its even MORE insulting bc john darnielle, mr mountaingoats, is LITERALLY an ex-cocaine addict from the 1980s who DID recover AND has written ENTIRE ALBUMS about this, tallahassee being ONE of them, if you want songs off tallahassee that work for roy, old college try is RIGHT there. even if u want a song that works for roy and jasons dynamic. see america right and international small arms traffic blues are RIGHT there. and to be fair ive only read a handful of issues of outlaws so far (and i HAVE enjoyed what ive read for the most part! its fun!) but i do know and talk to ppl who HAVE read all of it or most of it (and ALSO enjoyed it more than i have) and ive talked w them abt this in depth and they agree w me and backed me up and like. not to seem like im swinging a bat at a hornets nest! bc i know its not that deep! but also im right!

[thecolonelsqueen]

Shaky Hands

I’ve spent so much time on this and it’s a collaboration with @mustangsbigdickenergy. Please Enjoy and Share with fellow friends.

Whump.Tober Prompt No.1

Day 1: Shaky Hands

    The day had finally come. The day that they had been working towards for nearly a decade. That morning Hawkeye rose from bed, a heavy burden finally lifting off those shoulders as the day they looked forward to surfaced on the calendar. Mustang becoming Führer was a big sigh of relief knowing the end of King Bradley was official, a new reign of justice could begin. They started this journey together, becoming one in Ishval but at last only two made it through. Hughes was most likely smiling down from heaven as this day began, if there was such a thing, to bad he wasn’t here to mock the new Führer. They may have not been lifelong friends like Mustang but she still felt a bit of sadness for his passing and the fact that he couldn’t finish this the way they started it, even Elicia didn’t deserve such sorrow.

    Blue uniform pulled fresh from the dryer as she drank her morning tea before donning such an outfit. It felt like there was so much to do but, for once, she only needed to attend the ceremony. For once, there wasn’t paperwork waiting at the desk, for once, there wouldn’t be arguments about upcoming meetings, for once, everyone could relax, and lastly, for once, there wasn’t a homunculus threat breathing down their back. Everything was perfectly normal. Maybe this time she’d actually go out with her fellow teammates for a drink, just to relish in this perfect day because the stressful burden wouldn’t allow her to enjoy any festivities with the team. Lieutenant Hawkeye arrived earlier than usual to the ceremony, wanting to make everything was set and ready to go, probably because of those natural instincts, but those assigned to the task continued to usher her away eventually leading her to hangout with comrades. They all seemed so happy about today, happy for Roy, happy for this country but Riza felt slightly different in their presence.

Was it really this easy?

    If Mustang were among the group, he was separated for preparation of his own, he would easily detected his Lieutenant’s thoughts telling her to relax and enjoy the day so perhaps she was simply overthinking it; That did tend to happen lately considering the events of the Promise Day. A ceremonial gunshot finally rang signaling the start of Roy Mustang’s ceremony and all of those who served by his side climbed the steps of the stage to take their place alongside the new Führer. Everyone held a salute as he followed behind his teammates approaching the top of the steps before giving them the signal to at ease, allowing hands to be placed behind their backs in tight grips. Roy stood before a large crowd of military personnel and citizens alike, eyes staring straight ahead as he repeated the statements by the newly found members of the board and soon became Führer President Roy Mustang. In unison, the military in the crowd rose and saluted their new commander. A heavy hand came to his forehead as he returned the salute, his chest welling up with the gravity of the moment. When he released his hand, everyone began shouting and cheering, those members on stage who swore in the President came forward to shake the hands of the newly found Führer; who couldn’t contain his own jitters as those hands met others. After thanking the board, Roy turned his head to where his team stood behind, Havoc held Fuery in a headlock who complained and Falman managed to high-five Breda but if he truly looked close enough he could make out the spirit of Hughes standing alongside his favorite Lieutenant. Riza Hawkeye, the best lieutenant he could ask for, was looking directly at him with her hand still saluted along her forehead as if she were transfixed into the moment. When their eyes met, he was reminded of all the years he’d known the blonde, all the memories, the failure, and the heartache. She had gone through it all at his side and that would never change even if they went to hell.

    Hawkeye felt the world slow as they continued to gaze at one another and honestly, something was different. Those eyes that once held determination with guilt, rage, and even fear dissipated into the atmosphere to the point she almost didn’t recognize those chocolate pools, but they were still his. Was this happiness for him? Had Roy finally achieved the stepping point for peace among his country? Surely, that had to be it.

    The warmthness inside the woman’s heart spread to her face as she smiled that angelic smile realizing the new man in this new age for its country. Everything would be alright, because he really could change the country with eyes like that.

    Now, it was time for his speech allowing Roy to remove a folded piece of paper from his pocket. They were up nearly half the night going over the exact words he would speak which, in the end, most of the speech was Riza’s words. She saved the day on his work as usual when heavy boots aimed him toward the podium but when looking upon the crowd something change, meaning the crumpled paper ended up back in his pocket; There was so much more to be said then what was scribbled on the paper so he began.

    “People of Amestris, I am beyond honored to be standing here today, ready to serve you. Our country has been through too much war, and bloodshed in our recent years, but I intend to bring a long lasting peace to our great lands-“ Cheers interrupted him, and he momentarily paused. As the crowd died down, he continued. “The very first act I would like to do as Führer, is to promote those who stood by my side through it all. Without these brave men, I would not be standing here today.” Starting with the lowest ranking officer in his team, Fuery, they were all given new high ranking positions with a handshake and a salute to their new Führer. If Hughes was on this stage, he would be bawling.

    Mustang worked his way up through each rank until settling on Jean Havoc. “Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, please step forward.” Roy turned his head, a light smile on his face as Havoc stepped up next to his commander. “This man has perhaps been dealt the worst hand in life, not including his bad luck with the ladies-“ Cue a glare from the tall blonde. “-But I wouldn’t be here without him. He is the most resilient, and loyal man I have ever had the pleasure to work alongside. I am proud to announce his new rank as General Jean Havoc.”

    The last ranking official to be called would be Riza Hawkeye. Was a promotion something she honestly wanted? A new rank would end in a new office, her own recruits and possibly somewhere else that wasn’t near the Führer because he would have a special team for protection. They had been together for so long and until Bradley interrupted that, Riza never considered anything else.

    Tension hung through the air as Roy called his First Lieutenant up, “First Lieutenant Hawkeye,” her name rang loud as she stepped forward. He didn’t say anything at first, didn’t announce her new rank yet, just remained silent as he gathered those thoughts. His dark eyes studied her, in awe of their luck of both making it through the war and the Promise Day. They didn’t deserve such mercy for all the terrible things they’ve done, but Roy wouldn’t waste another breath on it. He finally spoke. “I’ve never feared death. In every battle, I welcomed it with open arms. It was only fitting. Riza Hawkeye has saved me from death, over and over again. She’s saved me from myself. She is the only reason I’m here today.” A pause. A deep sincerity running through his dark eyes as he looked over at the woman. “I’ve never feared death. Not for myself, but when I saw the light fading from her eyes, I have never been more truly terrified. If she dies, so do I. It’s the unspoken truth we’ve always shared.”

    The statements lifted into the air as she felt the burning eyes of another’s gaze, making Riza remain in that untouched position of arms tightly clasped behind her back. The soldier’s shoulders remained squared as if she already knew the information being told but still, a small fragment of the Lieutenant’s heart skipped a beat never knowing that that Roy couldn’t live without her. There’s been so many references where Hawkeye refused to live among the world without the Flame Alchemist and for once he chose the same words, actually admitting them aloud for his country to hear.

    The crowd was quiet. The sharp cry of a baby in the distance being the only sound, faded by the wind. “I’ve never feared death, until the day I thought I was dying. I pictured her face, and I was more scared of death then I ever had been. Not because of actually dying, but at the thought of not being at her side. I would never get to see her again. It’s my most haunting thought.”

    Roy wasn’t looking at the crowd, his eyes were locked on Riza’s strict stature as she remained faced toward the people. He took a step forward causing the Lieutenant to finally meet his gaze. “I never feared death...until I realized I might never get to tell the woman I love how I feel.” His heart was pounding in his chest, and he half expected her to slap him for being so incredibly sappy during his first speech as Führer. He didn’t care. He wouldn’t wait another day to tell her how he felt. “So, while others received promotions, Lieutenant. I stand before you today, requesting that you retire from the military, and rule at my side as my Queen.”

    The blonde lieutenant’s heart began to rise like a wild cheetah running to catch its prey, the gasping of the crowd around them began to fade as they were the only ones standing on stage gazing into one another’s dark’s pupils. She tried her best to remain calm, to keep those arms tightly behind her back but eventually they slipped falling gently to her sides. The woman was stunned in place without any words being able to form, all the blood rushed toward her heart as it wanted to burst from her chest and it took all the ounce of strict nature to not slap him on stage from his proclaiming love. After all this time, after all these battles, after risking their lives countless times, Roy Mustang truly felt the same as her. There was so many times he joked about other women making Riza feel as if she never got the time of day but right here and right now was different, he was looking directly at her as were the rest of the country. These incredible, rare feelings were caught in the moment leaving the lieutenant completely lost for words, the very first time she had ever become flabbergasted.

    A small step back was taken as Roy Mustang lowered himself to one knee pursuing a tiny box from the confines of his pocket allowing his Lieutenant to become diagonal with the audience. Hawkeye’s insides felt fuzzy, the world lifted becoming lighter, it was like she was looking into the mirror for the first time gazing upon a more beautiful, attractive, strong, and intelligent man before her. They could achieve anything together, they could rock the universe as the truth finally unfolded, no one could possibly feel what they are feeling right now. That sneaky love bug had already clouded both their memories, making them believe that anything was possible if they stayed side by side, that they couldn’t do anything wrong and could complete one's life together.

    ‘Be my queen’

    Hawkeye lost it. Her heart exploded as if glass inside shattered into a million pieces but in a good way. “I...-“ She took another heavy step back, still peering inside the male’s dark hues before glancing toward her comrades who was as shocked as she. All of them made eye contact as their head moved accordingly into a nod, telling Riza to accept this position because although the pair ‘denied’ their feelings, they knew otherwise.

   Getting the confidence she needed from fellow subordinates, Riza took one deep breath and stood proudly. Arms remained by her side as she regained footing toward Mustang peering downward into his eyes, “Sir, If you think I would just simply resign from the military after everything that I’ve done then you’ve better reconsider your options.” She stated aloud strict and clear, if she was no longer in the military than she couldn’t be beside the Führer at all times, to become a housewife like Bradley’s. That was something Riza was against. The woman swore an oath to remain by her commanders side and that’s exactly what she intended to do.

   “But...“ Her demeanor changed dramatically into something more soft as she gazed longingly into Mustangs eyes about to speak those words he was waiting for. After that small moment everything seemed to move faster, eyes aimed directly toward the Lieutenant as if awaiting an answer but the blonde couldn’t speak. She couldn’t form words or even a syllable, the heavy burden inside that heart radiated throughout only growing more intense. The blonde soldier became clouded within those thoughts that she didn’t recognize the true events unfolding before the Fuhrer’s eyes, a bubbling substance welded up inside the woman’s throat and that body gave way to the unknown watching as a splatter of red landed upon a beautiful canvas. The world moved leaving them no longer inside their tiny safety bubble with the Lieutenant collapsing onto the floor of the stage, the sharp pain from before grew stronger and she attempted to blink away any haziness.

    Those beautiful features of the man she loved transformed into something old, rage entered through the darkness in the Fuhrer’s heart as the sounds around them finally resurfaced inside the downed soldier. All the woman could see was red as it covered nearly every inch of that perfectly cleaned uniform, and defiled the man who proposed reminding Hawkeye of a war from long ago. Were her mistakes finally catching up to them? Was she now feeling ‘karma’ coming back to bite?

    Just like the day the enemy slit the soldier’s throat, blood once more poured out from the open wound in the woman’s chest. Roy was among the first to drop onto the stage to save his subordinate's life, rough hands ruptly found their way upon the open enclosure with dedication of keeping the blood inside the victim. Mustang was lost in a blind rage of power, searching to find the culprit who dared to harm someone he held dearly, a formed team of others slipped out of the veil of confusion to help mandate the search or seek a medical team. The sharp pain from the bullet entering into the body was like a long-term friend Riza had known, pain was never an enemy in this Lieutenant’s life allowing this to feel no more than baseball pegging its target but with each passing minute the warm blood that seeped into the woman’s clothing maintained the worst part of it all.

    Although senses slowly became duller, Hawkeye could easily figure out the words the Fuhrer claimed. Someone had simply shot the Lieutenant right before her captain’s eyes. Hearing was among the first to fade but smell followed shortly behind, the air around them felt damp like indicating a rainfall on such a perfect day. The sky held an array of colors as the sun fell beneath the horizon attempting to fade away to leave everyone in a void of darkness but Riza found calmness in the lit sky that dared to hang on. If one looked closely, it seemed like everything was symbolizing the adult dying right before the countries eyes and with each minute passing the clouds and sky tried their best to hang on before turning into a dark grey. Circulation aimed directly toward vital organs but the wound became the greatest problem as blood tried to find any point other than the open chest wound. Fact is, Hawkeye was beginning to lose too much blood.

    Riza’s dark pupils finally found Roy’s as they stared into his dark tainted hues, through all the pain and suffering she attempted to smile. She wanted to accept his proposal and to place a hand upon his cheek to ensure him everything would be ok but the body refused to move; She could barely feel anything other than the burning pain inside.

    Rebecca appeared on stage, yelling at the Fuhrer to step aside and allow the young soldier to attempt the blood flow to stop but he seemed lost the longer he watched the life drain from his woman’s life. Strong hands shook the shoulders of the president drawing forth enough attention to allow his cooperation but that didn’t stop his slow response. He wasn’t sure what to do in this moment as he was truly losing his queen.

    A discarded box caught the male’s eyes lying in a pool of blood from his lieutenant, digits inched forward sliding through the red substance that dared to soil the ground they stood upon. Tears pricked the edges of brown as the guilt weighed heavily on his heart, if he didn’t propose would she have been saved? The former Colonel could still feel the drops of blood that splattered onto his face, the hardness of them drying in the chilly air and if a tear spilled through the veil than it would mix with the woman he loved as it traveled the surface of his face. When fingers finally flipped over the open box, a small engagement ring was missing, it laid delicately in the blood as if bathing in the solution of it’s captor. The features absorbed the substance into each crook without even a drip slipping back onto the soiled ground as if it enjoyed the sacrifice being made.

    A perfectly made diamond created by the man himself rested in his palm, he couldn’t count the hours it took to make something so special but it was something he would do all over again, the amounts of alchemy and studying he learned for this specific moment felt broken.

    Those palms shook greatly realizing all his dreams wouldn’t be conquered without his queen, brown eyes became so fixated on the ring with a familiar body laying in the outskirts of those pupils hazily. Tears poured outward falling onto the soaked hands covered in blood and a heart laid among the mess that continued to unfold.

                        How could something so special create such darkness…?

@whumptober2019

[lilymycatherine]

HOW MUCH DO YOU READ?

Harvard Business Review,  Neil Pasricha author 

1. Centralize reading in your home. Back in 1998, psychologist Roy Baumeister and his colleagues performed their famous “chocolate chip cookie and radish” experiment. They split test subjects into three groups and asked them not to eat anything for three hours before the experiment. Group 1 was given chocolate chip cookies and radishes and were told they could eat only the radishes. Group 2 was given chocolate chip cookies and radishes and were told they could eat anything they liked. Group 3 was given no food at all. Afterward, the researchers had all three groups attempt to solve an impossible puzzle, to see how long they would last. It’s not surprising that group 1, those who had spent all their willpower staying away from the cookies, caved the soonest.What does this have to do with reading? I think of having a TV in your main living area as a plate of chocolate chip cookies. So many delicious TV shows tempt us, reducing our willpower to tackle the books. Roald Dahl’s poem “Television,” says it all: “So please, oh please, we beg, we pray /go throw your TV set away / and in its place, you can install / a lovely bookshelf on the wall.”Last year my wife and I moved our sole TV into our dark, unfinished basement and got a bookshelf installed on the wall beside our front door. Now we see it, walk by it, and touch it dozens of times a day. And the TV sits dormant unless the Toronto Blue Jays are in the playoffs or Netflix drops a new season of House of Cards.

2. Make a public commitment. In his seminal book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini shares a psychology study showing that once people place their bets at the racetrack, they are much more confident about their horse’s chances than they were just before laying down the bet. He goes on to explain how commitment is one of the big six weapons of social influence. So why can’t we think of ourselves as the racehorses? Make the bet on reading by opening an account at Goodreads or Reco, friending a few coworkers or friends, and then updating your profile every time you read a book. Or put together an email list to send out short reviews of the books you read. I do exactly that each month, with my Monthly Book Club Email. I stole the idea from bestselling author Ryan Holiday, who has a great reading list.

3. Find a few trusted, curated lists. Related to the above, the publishing industry puts out more than 50,000 books a year. Do you have time to sift through 1,000 new books a week? Nobody does, so we use proxies like Amazon reviews. But should we get our reading lists from retailers? If you’re like me, and you love the “staff picks” wall in independent bookstores, there’s nothing as nice as getting one person’s favorite books. Finding a few trusted, curated lists can be as simple as the email lists I mentioned, but with a bit of digging, you can likely find the one that totally aligns with your tastes. Some of the lists that I personally like are: Bill Gates’s reading list; Derek Sivers’s reading list; and Tim Ferriss’s list, where he has collected the recommendations of many of his podcast guests.

4. Change your mindset about quitting. It’s one thing to quit reading a book and feel bad about it. It’s another to quit a book and feel proud of it. All you have to do is change your mindset. Just say, “Phew! Now I’ve finally ditched this brick to make room for that gem I’m about to read next.” An article that can help enable this mindset is “The Tail End,” by Tim Urban, which paints a striking picture of how many books you have left to read in your lifetime. Once you fully digest that number, you’ll want to hack the vines away to reveal the oases ahead.I quit three or four books for every book I read to the end. I do the “first five pages test” before I buy any book (checking for tone, pace, and language) and then let myself off the hook if I need to stop halfway through.

5. Take a “news fast” and channel your reading dollars. I subscribed to the New York Times and five magazines for years. I rotated subscriptions to keep them fresh, and always loved getting a crisp new issue in the mail. After returning from a long vacation where I finally had some time to lose myself in books, I started realizing that this shorter, choppier nature of reading was preventing me from going deeper. So I canceled all my subscriptions.Besides freeing up mindshare, what does canceling all news inputs do? For me, it saved more than $500 per year. That can pay for about 50 books per year. What would I rather have 10 or 20 years later — a prized book collection which I’ve read and learned from over the years…or a pile of old newspapers? And let’s not forget your local library. If you download Library Extension for your browser, you can see what books and e-books are available for free right around the corner.

6. Triple your churn rate. I realized that for years I’d thought of my bookshelf as a fixed and somewhat artistic object: There it is, sitting by the flower vases! Now I think of it as a dynamic organism. Always moving. Always changing. In a given week I probably add about five books to the shelf and get rid of three or four. Books come in through lending libraries in our neighborhood, a fantastic used bookstore, local indie and chain stores, and, of course, online outlets. Books go out when we pass them to friends, sell them to the used bookstore, or drop them off at the lending library. This dynamism means I’m always walking over to the shelf, never just walking by it. As a result, I read more.

7. Read physical books. You may be wondering why I don’t just read e-books on a mobile device, saving myself all the time and effort required to bring books in and out of the house. In an era when our movie, film, and photography collections are all going digital, there is something grounding about having an organically growing collection of books in the home. If you want to get deep, perhaps it’s a nice physical representation of the evolution and changes in your mind while you’re reading. (Maybe this is why my wife refuses to allow my Far Side collections on her shelf.) And since many of us look at screens all day, it can be a welcome change of pace to hold an actual book in your hands.

8. Reapply the 10,000 steps rule. A good friend once told me a story that really stuck with me. He said Stephen King had advised people to read something like five hours a day. My friend said, “You know, that’s baloney. Who can do that?” But then, years later, he found himself in Maine on vacation. He was waiting in line outside a movie theater with his girlfriend, and who should be waiting in front of him? Stephen King! His nose was in a book the whole time in line. When they got into the theater, Stephen King was still reading as the lights dimmed. When the lights came up, he pulled his book open right away. He even read as he was leaving. Now, I have not confirmed this story with Stephen King. But I think the message this story imparts is an important one. Basically, you can read a lot more. There are minutes hidden in all the corners of the day, and they add up to a lot of minutes.In a way, it’s like the 10,000 steps rule. Walk around the grocery store, park at the back of the lot, chase your kids around the house, and bam — 10,000 steps.It’s the same with reading.When did I read those five books a year for most of my life? On holidays or during long flights. “Oh! A lot of downtime coming,” I’d think. “Better grab a few books.”When do I read now? All the time. A few pages here. A few pages there. I have a book in my bag at all times. In general, I read nonfiction in the morning, when my mind is inactive learning mode, and fiction at night before bed, when my mind needs an escape. Slipping pages into all the corners of the day add up.

Happy reading. Neil Pasricha thinks and writes about failure, resilience, happiness, trust, and gratitude. He is The New York Times bestselling author of six books,  including The Happiness Equation and The Book of Awesome, which have sold more than a million copies and have spent more than 200 weeks on bestseller lists. He hosts the award-winning Top 100 iTunes podcast 3 Books with Neil Pasricha, where he’s on a fifteen-year long quest to uncover the 1,000 most formative books in the world. He gives more than 50 keynote speeches a year at places such as TED, SXSW, and Google. Visit him online and get his book recommendations at Neil.blog.