#like. my whole mental stability depends on this two and they just gave me free therapy

[supremekingofsalvation]

NO BECAUSE UNFOLLOW ME RN THIS IS ALL I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT FOR THE NEXT WEEK.

IT HAS HAPPENED. I AM SUDDENLY NOT DEPRESSED ANYMORE. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LOOK AT HOW GENTLE THIS ONE IS I AM GONNA

[headcanons-no-jutsu]

Sharing your trauma to Hanji

hello i hope your request is still open if yes can i ask aot hc where the reader will tell them she was sexually abused for many years and raped in childhood? It depends on Hanji Zoe's reaction, if you want to add others, no problem. If it is comfortable for you, of course. rather feminine pronouns, if you want to make gender neutral, it would be nice if he had female reproductive organs. I'm just curious how the AOT characters will react to my trauma. Regards <3

Trigger warnings: sexual abuse, childhood trauma

Author note: It was a very difficult topic to write. I haven’t experienced this kind of traumatic event and I hope I didn’t mess it up or made anyone uncomfortable. I used a bit of my own traumatic experience to help myself with this writing, as well as some psychological knowledge that I have.

Conversations with Hanji were always lighthearted and full of excitement. It mostly consisted sitting all night long in their lab, helping them with their projects and listening to them talking about the titans. You enjoyed it very much and it gave you the sense of stability and comfort

To the point that you became close friends with Hanji and spending the whole night with them was the favorite part of your routine

Your conversations progressively became more personal and Hanji often mentioned some facts from their life

You had better and worse days because of your trauma that was still haunting you, but the one thing that you never did and was afraid to try was to share your story with someone

You tested the ground and decided to share some light fact from your past as well, such as where you used to live or what was your school experience

Surprisingly to you, Hanji ended up being a very good listener and was genuinely interested in your story

The mutual sharing became your thing. Every time you met in their lab and worked on some project, you liked to talk about your past and bond over some of the experience that you shared or differed in

At some point, it was Hanji who first brought less pleasant memory of their life. One night, when captain Levi just left Hanji’s lab calling them “a nerdy freak”, they chuckled under their nose but their eyes faded a little bit

“I used to be bullied at school for my interests” they said lightheartedly, smiling gently at you

The rest of the night spent on Hanji sharing their past unpleasant experience with bullies. You felt sorry for them but at the same time you felt so glad that you two became so close. They trusted you completely and you realized you trusted them too. All you wanted to do was to be there for Hanji, your closest person

The other night you two were working silently by some paperwork. It was a comfortable silence, however, in your head, it was one of your worse days. The days that you felt only half-real and your traumatic memories were uncomfortably intrusive. You sighed at your state. Even breathing was difficult for you at that moment. You wish you could just repress it further and not be bothered

However, the thought appeared in your head. The thought that you had heard so many times before, from your own rational mind and from other people who talked about mental health. That sharing your story with a trusted person can be very helpful for you and that dealing with your trauma is much easier when you have a support of others who care about you

“Hanji, I want to tell you something…” you started quietly

They looked at you with concerned eyes and didn’t say the word. They were ready to listen

You told them about your experience. You told them how you were abused in your childhood. How you can still see the face of the person who used you, and how you can still feel the hand on your female parts, how you can still feel the pain and helplessness. How you still relive the months, years of abuse that happened to you. How you much you want to escape from this part of yourself. How you don’t know if you’ll ever feel free

When you finished, Hanji didn’t answer. Their face was grim. They were staring down. They slowly pushed up their glasses. “Thank you for sharing, Y/N” they said very seriously, with a low voice, still not looking into your eyes

But then they did. And you saw in their eyes the love and sympathy they felt towards you

You couldn't know that Hanji's mind was occupied with curses and screaming aiming the person who hurt you. You couldn't know that they were on the edge of hurting this person to pay back. However, Hanji looked at you and realized that all that mattered was your comfort and at that moment they decided to make you feel safe and accepted

“If you ever feel like these worse days, you can always come to me, day or night, and tell me about it” they started. “I’m always there for you, Y/N, and I’ll never leave you alone with it” they finished, staring strongly at you, their eyes not leaving your face for even a second. They weren’t afraid to look at you, they weren’t trying to look away. Hanji was looking at you with their whole love and determination and care

You realized that you couldn’t find more reliable and sympathetic person than Hanji. You believed them and you trusted them. You didn’t regret that you shared your story. You felt better realizing that you have someone who will always be there for you, who won’t escape or won’t judge you

[k-writer1998]

Black, White, Grey (3/3)

Having Bang Chan as your best friend is great cause he’s literally the best but not so much when you’ve had a crush on him for a majority of the friendship.

Angst

w.c: 2.1k

Part 1     Part 2

A/N: Depending on the reaction on this last part, I may or may not make an extension/alternate ending thing but don’t get your hopes up 😅

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      It’s been a week and I’ve just been swamped trying to finish up my schedules while my manager finalized the details on the new project. Because of this I hadn’t had any time to see or talk to any of the boys much, but without a doubt Chan has just been super weird all week. He’s been checking in more often and has been more attentive to my responses than normal, what's with him lately? I shook the thought from my mind as my manager pulled up to the JYP building. Don’t dwell on it. If the weird vibe is still there when you stop by then you can worry, if not then you’re over thinking.

“After this last photo shoot you’ll have a few days off to pack. We could be there as long as half a year so make sure you have everything. You sign a few papers on my desk then you get some free time while I get everything organized and faxed over okay? ”

“Got it, I should be around the dance practice rooms but if not I’ll text you.”

“The plane ticket is already settled. Once it gets closer to the date I’ll send you the full details but it should be an evening flight.”

“Okay we can go over it later, let’s go in first.”

      As we turned to the building my feet froze in place as my eyes connected with Minho’s. Shit, no one was supposed to find out. My manager looked between the two of us before telling me that he would meet me inside. Minho’s eyes narrowed at me as he came up. I avoided his gaze, instead taking notice of the drinks in his hand and tried to deflect.

“Did you lose a game and have to go buy everyone drinks?” I smiled.

“Yeah, but what was that about? Where are you going?”

“... do I have the option to withhold that information?”

“I mean you can, I’ll just ask Chan-hyung.”

“Wait, don’t! I kinda… didn’t tell him either…”

“Okay now you have to spill if not even your best friend knows. Does it have to do with Chan-hyung?”

“No, I’m not that dramatic,” I rolled my eyes, “I’ve actually been planning this for a while and I finally got the opportunity to do it. I’ve never brought it up because nothing was set in stone yet.”

“Well how long have you known?”

“Since last week…”

“A week? So you’re going overseas for six months for whatever and you didn’t plan on telling any of us?”

“I mean I’ve had to finish a lot of things and we both were so busy-”

“Were you going to tell us today?”

      He knew it was all excuses and he was calling me out on my bullshit. I wasn’t planning on telling then until probably the day before the flight because I can’t do goodbyes. I knew they would all be happy for me, even encourage me, but there was something about all of that that made it harder for me to go. I was already dealing with a heavy heart about Chan, I didn’t need another thing weighing me down when I’m barely functioning as it. It was selfish I know but I needed at least some mental stability intact if I was going to be doing this.

“I wasn’t… but I have my reasons okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” he scoffed as he turned to the door.

“Minho wait,” I called as I grabbed his arm, “I’m sorry okay? A lot has happened in such a short period of time and I’m trying to deal with it all but my brain can’t catch up and I don’t know how to put everything into words right now. I’ll tell the others on my own terms but please keep this a secret for now.”

      I saw his jaw tense as he kept his eyes closed for a moment before he turned to glare at me. His eyes scanned my face for a moment before he sighed and I relaxed a bit.

“Fine. But you better hurry up about it. I’m not keeping it for long.”

“Thanks Minho, I will. I’ll meet you at the studio in a bit okay?”

      He shooed me away and I gave his arm a brief hug before meeting my manager inside so I could sign what he needed then left to go meet the boys. Hanging out was pretty normal minus a bit of extra attitude from Minho and Chan being less weird but still not himself. The next two days were filled with me figuring out what to pack while fighting the little voice in my head that wanted me to just stay in bed and never leave. I’m currently staring at my phone, living room strewn with things that need to be packed, as I tried to figure out how to text the boys I’m leaving without everyone getting mad… especially a certain someone. As I erased yet another failed attempt at trying to tell them, my door chimed as my door code was being inputted. Before I could think of who it was, Chan bursted in and I got up to meet him halfway. He was breathing heavily, looking quite the mess but the troubling factor was his eyes. They were red and filled with confusion, betrayal, pain… God damn it Minho couldn’t you have given me more time?

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? What happened to no secrets? Why is it that I had to find out from Minho?!"

“Chan calm down… I was about to tell everyone, no one was supposed to know before. Minho only knows because he overheard it while I was talking with my manager. He wasn't supposed to say anything though..."

"Why? Did you just want to disappear before I could say anything?"

"I didn’t mean to keep a secret okay? I have my reasons for hiding it just like you have your reasons for hiding whatever has been making you so weird lately," I countered.

      I wasn’t the only one who was going to be confronted. I mean his reaction was a bit extreme just for an overseas trip, even if it was an unannounced one, but if we’ve already reached this point might as well get some answers. 

“What are your reasons then? And I haven’t been weird.”

“I’ll tell you once you tell me because we both know that you aren’t being yourself. You’re treating me like glass, as if anything you do will hurt me,” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I'm not, I just don't know how to act when- It's just when Minho-" he ran a frustrated hand through his hair before he asked, barely above a whisper, "Are… are you leaving because of me?"

"What? Chan, why would you-" 

      My heart stopped. As the pieces fell in place, the color drained from my face. It makes sense. Why he’s been so weird lately and that nagging feeling that I’ve been having that something was wrong… 

"How long?"

“I-”

“Chan don’t act like you don’t know what I’m asking.”

"Since a week and a half ago..."

      A week and a half ago? The only time I would have talked about it where he could catch it was…

“… you weren’t asleep were you?”

“I was! But I woke up because of Minho and I was trying to go back to sleep when…” 

      Panic flushed his face as he explained himself and I just numbly nodded in understanding. I couldn’t help but sigh at what was unraveling right now. I’ve been getting away with it for so long that I wasn’t careful. That’s on me. 

“Can we just go back to normal, please? This whole treating me like I’m porcelain, being super careful about what you do and the constant glances,I hate it.” 

“I- I just… I don’t know how to act. You’re my best friend and I love you but-”

      I cut him off before he finished. The pure confusion written all over his face reminds me why I’ve hidden this for years. The frustration at myself boils beneath my skin, I’m trying not to let Chan’s actions get to me… but it does. It fuels my anger more, I don’t need pity and I don’t need protection.

"Chan, there is no option where I’m not hurt in some way. Would you leave Eunhye to be with me, break two hearts at the price of one? Or would you just not date anyone to protect my feelings at the price of your own? Do you think I’d be happy or even okay with you doing that?!” I snapped.

      He was shocked at my sudden fire of questions. He stayed silent, trying to find an answer but the growing conflict that spread across his face was the only answer I needed. I let out a sigh, so much has happened. Him finding a girl he likes, me getting that overseas audition, him finding out about my feelings… it’s overwhelming. I take a moment to collect myself before I speak again.

“Sorry… I just… I hoped to never have this conversation.”

      The lost look in his eyes broke my heart because I know that look. He’s nearly perfected hiding his feelings from his facial expressions, but his eyes always betrayed him. They held fear and slight panic as they darted around my face, trying to figure out my next move.

“I’m okay Chan,” I offered him a weak smile, “We’ve known each other for far too long and that’s how I know I was never an option. If there was a chance for an “us” I of all people would have caught it, don’t you think?”

       He averted his gaze, the guilt washing over him as he shrank back and started to fiddle with the hem of his hoodie sleeve. I took a step forward, placing my hands on the sides of his face and gently brought him to look back at me. I’ve done this countless times when I found him in one of his lows, where doubt and uncertainty had found its way into his heart. Something so intimate that belonged to us, at this moment, was yet another grey area that was finally finding clarity. I know that after this things will change and neither Chan or me want that… but we’ll have to learn to live with it. 

“Your heart's too big Chan, and I can't blame you. It's one of the reasons I fell for you, but you know what's in your heart. It’s obvious you really like her and that’s okay-”

“But I’m hurting you…”

“Deep down I’ve always prepared myself for this. Even if it hurts now, it won’t hurt forever and I’m wholeheartedly overjoyed that you found someone that makes you happy. So let’s stop this already okay?”

“Then why are you crying… stupid…” Chan questioned with a soft voice.

      Damn it… I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. Chan removed my hands from his face as he drew me in for a hug. I rested my forehead on his shoulder, taking in his scent as his warmth encased me. I couldn’t stop myself so I succumbed to the wave of tears that spilled from my eyes, his hoodie balling in my hands as I clung to him. It was a while before my tears stopped but Chan still rubbed circles on my back like he always did whenever I broke down. Once the tears dried and I took a moment for myself to remember this feeling… the feeling of him… I pulled away.

“I wasn’t running away from you. I got a call for a Hollywood film I auditioned for… I have to go to LA for a call back and if it works out I stay. I didn’t want to tell anyone yet in case I don’t end up landing the role you know?”

“Oh my gosh that's amazing," he responded excitedly before the remorse set in, "I’m sorry. This was a big step for you and I made it about myself… I may have thought a bit too much when I found out,” he awkwardly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You and Minho both. I’m not that dramatic to run away because of a broken heart. Do you not know me Chan?” I tease.

“My bad,” he smiled, “but we are good still… right?” 

“Yes and since you’re here did you want to stay and help me pack?” I asked, poking his side and returning the smile.

“I mean I kind of just bolted out of the dorm so why not, I’m getting in trouble anyways.”

[in-tua-deep]

So I imagine that the kids eventually find out that their moms gave them up, and as they grow older they each grow angrier and angrier at these people they’ve never met. What if at the end of S1 when they all travel back in time they don’t arrive to a place/time that they’re all at the academy again,what if they somehow arrive in a time/place where they meet their mothers and have to pretend to be complete strangers to these women that they find unforgivable?

HMM honestly I can’t see most of them really being angry? On a big level their mothers just,,, don’t matter to them. They probably didn’t even know mothers were a thing until Grace came into their lives, and by the time they got around to learning about the birds and the bees and knew enough to know that Grace couldn’t exactly have brought them all to term, they already knew they’d been bought

and maybe they were angry at first, but they know their circumstances. Their mothers were seven (or six depending on if you think Luther and Five are twins in the show) women who were exceptionally unprepared for what happened to them. 

Honestly that must have been so incredibly traumatic for all of them, they never consented to that pregnancy. They had to give birth, a process that is incredibly painful, when they had no prior knowledge or preparation mental or physical. They didn’t have a choice whether these children came into their lives, and honestly I don’t blame them for giving up the kids - and frankly having them be adopted by a billionaire? Who clearly has enough resources to take care of this child when perhaps you yourself so not?

The question isn’t why Reginald Hargreeves got so many kids, it’s why he got so few. 

I would however be interested in maybe thinking about an au where one or more of the parents looked at the unveiling of the Umbrella Academy and looked at the seven children knowing that one of those kids was theirs and they just stopped a robbery (the one on the end is covered in blood, and some of the robbers are dead and the kids are little soldiers) and them trying to take some kind of action. Any kind of action. Because she thought her child would be safe and provided for, not… this. 

And maybe it’s not out of place in canon. Maybe it’s an attempt that doesn’t work, because Reginald has access to plenty of lawyers. And the mothers terminated their parental rights. No matter how much they try, they can’t touch those kids.

I don’t know I understand that maybe some of the kids are angry. But I think some just… don’t care. These women aren’t in their lives. They aren’t important. They didn’t ask to have these kids, they didn’t have a choice. I can see at least some of the kids being downright empathetic about that - I mean, wasn’t their whole childhood about not having a choice but to obey Reginald Hargreeves? It might not have even occurred to them until they were older that their mothers even had a choice in giving them up, because Reginald is the ultimate authority in their lives.

There are a lot of reasons to give up a baby, and I refuse to think badly of these women for doing so. Not when they had to go through that. Not with how traumatic it must have been. They did not consent to these pregnancies. They did not ask for a child. They were not prepared for a child. They didn’t spend months bonding with a child growing inside them, didn’t go out to buy little onesies and cribs and toys, they didn’t pore over books of baby names, or have a baby shower, or get congratulations from coworkers and friends and family - they didn’t ask for this. That girl from the start of the show was young. She was shy with a boy that she liked and flirting and having fun, and she wasn’t expecting to give birth on the floor in front of all those people in her life, including the boy she liked. 

So maybe they do go back in time, and there’s one of their mothers. And maybe they are angry at this stranger who didn’t want them. But they look at this young woman who gave birth to one of their numbers, and they see how young she is. See how she smiles and laughs without a care. Maybe she’s still in school. Maybe she isn’t. Maybe she’s working, working hard, she’s passionate about her career. Maybe she already has a family, maybe she has a husband or wife and maybe they already have kids or maybe they don’t. Maybe she’s helping take care of her parents who need assistance. Maybe she’s on her own in a shithole apartment and yeah it’s shitty but it’s hers and she’s out on her own and she’s independent and she worked so hard to get to this points.

My point is, they see their mothers, and they’re incredibly human. These women? They have lives. They have friends. They have family. And maybe they were angry, but they look at these women in their normal regular lives and think - how would I handle it? If I had a baby thrust upon me, right here, right now, with 0 foreknowledge and preparation, would I be able to take care of them? Would I keep them? If a billionaire swooped in and was able to make it all just - go away, wouldn’t I take him up on that?

Honestly I don’t think all of those children were bought. He probably got some of the kids for free, from mothers who weren’t willing to put a price on a baby’s head but were equally relieved to have someone to make it all go away. For this man who is obviously of means who has the funds to take care of a baby. Children are expensive, after all. That day would have been one of the most traumatic of their lives, wouldn’t you want to pretend it didn’t happen?

For this purpose i’m going to say Luther and Five aren’t twins and that there are seven individuals

So yeah, they meet their mothers. They pretend to be strangers and chat to these women. They find out that Luther’s mother is the first in her family to go to college, on a scholarship. She’s got big dreams and even bigger plans for her life. They learn that Diego’s mother is the eldest of four children and she’s very responsible, helping her parents out. She picks up her youngest sister from school and walks her home every day, she helps her siblings with their homework and cooks and cleans when her own parents are too tired to do so. They can barely make ends meet, but they’re close knit and they care about one another. A new mouth to feed on top of all of that would have been a terrible burden to bear (and Reginald’s money could put her siblings through college, she can make sure her parents don’t have to work as hard, that they can have some security, and all it costs is a baby she doesn’t even know). They learn that Allison’s mother is a leader among her peers, confident and social and outgoing. She’s climbing the ranks at work, confident and working hard to prove herself to all the people around her who say she can’t do it. She’s got her whole life ahead of her, and there’s no room in it for a baby. Not yet. Not now, when she has so much to do, so much to work towards. Maybe in the future, but not now when she has so much to lose and no one to help her.

They meet Klaus’s mother, who has clawed out a place for herself in the world with her own two hands. She has no one, she has her apartment and the two jobs she’s working and she’s going to make it no matter what just to prove everyone else wrong. They meet Five’s mother, who ran away from home when she was a kid and she’s putting herself through school going to night classes and working during the day. She runs on just as much spite as Klaus’s mother, but she has people. She’s stubborn and furious at the world, but she loves as furiously as she does anything else. She didn’t run alone, her little brother is with her. He’s in high school and she would sacrifice everything to make sure he has a future. She fought for custody of him, and she won, and she won’t do anything to jeopardize what little stability she has fought to give him.

They meet Ben’s mother, who has someone important in her life. They’re in love, but they have to keep it quiet. She loves her girlfriend, loves every stolen kiss and every moment they hold hands beneath tables. They plan to run away together, they’re saving up and they’re going to get a house together far away from everything that holds them down. They have plans. They barely have enough money scraped together for themselves, let alone a baby. A baby she knows her family won’t love, won’t want to take care of. They barely love her. They meet Vanya’s mother, who is afraid. She knows her family. They won’t love this child, born out of wedlock. She can’t make it on her own. She’s too young. She can’t support herself, let alone a child. She loves her family, she loves them, but they don’t understand her. They’ll take care of this child out of a sense of obligation perhaps, but they won’t love her. (They wouldn’t let her take care of her daughter anyway, would sweep it under the rug, maybe pretend that her daughter was her little sister. She wouldn’t get to raise her daughter, no matter what she chooses. And at least maybe this man, this rich man, wants her - and that’s important)

They meet their mothers, and learn about them, and they know Reginald. It isn’t these women’s fault, they didn’t choose this. They didn’t ask for this. And even if they did spend nine months carrying these children in their bodies, even if they were aware and prepared and knew what they were getting into, that still doesn’t mean that they were required to keep the kids. 

So maybe they are angry, when they arrive. But that anger doesn’t survive contact, because these women are just… people. They’re smart and funny and sarcastic and irritating and passionate and spiteful and they’re so very very human. They have jobs, and families, and friends, and lives. 

The Umbrella Academy arrived on a day like any other, the only remarkable thing was that their mothers weren’t pregnant when the day began. They arrived to a world that wasn’t prepared for them. To mothers who weren’t prepared for them. To mothers who had their own problems, their own reasons. 

And now the Umbrella Academy gets to learn them. 

Gets to see Luther’s mother who’s still in school, who can’t take care of a baby and complete her studies. Maybe she could have, if she was prepared. But she was taken by surprise. Gets to see Diego’s mother swing her and her sister’s hands between them as they walk back from school, hand-me-down clothes and worn out shoes. They’re living paycheck to paycheck, and babies are expensive. Gets to see Allison’s mother, a career woman, who doesn’t have time for a baby and doesn’t want a baby. She has a life, and a plan, and she knows what she wants. 

Gets to see Klaus’s mother, who has clawed out a place for herself and herself alone. She’s supporting herself, she can’t support a baby on top of that. (and it’s not the baby’s fault, but her body was supposed to be hers, and she can’t help but hate what was forced upon her - she didn’t want to have a baby, didn’t want to go through that). Gets to know Five’s mother, who loves her little brother so fiercely and is so terribly proud of him. She worries over him and hangs his report cards on the fridge and neither of them speak about the home they left behind. She puts him first. Her brother comes before a squalling infant she didn’t ask for. They’re finally getting their footing, getting in a good spot. She can’t jeopardize that. She won’t. 

Gets to see Ben’s mother, who is so in love and so ready to leave. A baby would be a chain, tying her down, making her have to stay because she can’t do it alone and she’s in love and their relationship isn’t ready for a baby. Gets to see Vanya’s mother, who is responsible and a member of the community. She swims. She flirts with a cute boy she wants to like her. She figures this baby has the best chance at life away from her, in a home that isn’t hers. She’s a nice girl, she wants to do what’s best, and she believes giving the baby up was the right thing to do.

Maybe they built their mothers up in their minds. These terrible women who would give their child to Reginald Hargreeves. But they didn’t know. They thought the babies would be cared for, why wouldn’t they? 

The moral of this experience, the result of this time travel, is that they learn about the reasons someone can have for giving up a child. They learn that these abstract women in their thoughts are real people, with real lives, who make real mistakes.

They’re not monsters. They’re not evil. They’re frightened people who don’t know what’s happening to them, what’s happened to their bodies. None of them asked for this. None of them knew what was happening. It was painful, and frightening, and it wasn’t their fault.

And the kids have to realize that.

[harmoniaroyallineage]

An Analysis of Ghetsis Harmonia Gropius and the Reasoning for this AU

May add to if I note something in further research

From my personal research, I believe Canon!Ghetsis is a psychopath.

Let’s go through this point by point.

Ghetsis is a liar

Ghetsis is known to be a rather charming man. He has convinced people such as the Seven Sages to join in his cause. Of course, they were oblivious to his true intentions at first. For example, Rood. He truly believed he was fighting only for the liberation of Pokémon. This is also shown in some of the dialogue of grunts.

His speeches are also shown to be well thought out. It has people questioning if what they’re doing is truly right and if they should side with Team Plasma. Here is part of his speech in Accumula Town:

"...I am here representing Team Plasma. Today, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to talk to you about Pokémon liberation. I'm sure most of you believe that we humans and Pokémon are partners that have come to live together because we want and need each other. However... Is that really the truth? Have you ever considered that perhaps we humans... only assume that this is the truth? Pokémon are subject to the selfish commands of Trainers... They get pushed around when they are our ‘partner’ at work... Can anyone say with confidence that there is no truth in what I'm saying?”

Observe his speech carefully. He presents the tradition of coexistence with Pokémon and makes people question if this is the right way. One line I was to make note of is the bolded line. Ghetsis is claiming that Trainers are using and abusing their Pokémon through training and battles. This is twisted info. On the surface, this looks like the case. However, the games in general make note how Pokémon enjoy being captured and love to be with their Trainers. Hell, in one game (I cant remember which one message me if you know where this was said), an NPC says that Pokémon only jump out at Trainers because they wish to be captured.

This is one example of Ghetsis twisting the truth to further his plans and get more supporters for his false cause. His cause in itself is insincere. He claims he wants to free Pokémon to better Pokémon but it is later revealed to be a lie. He wants to take control of Unova with Pokémon.

Insincere speech is common with psychopaths. They lie and twist info to get what they want. Lying is very easy for psychopath has it is like a second nature. They can lie with a straight face and show no regret. Ghetsis is shown to show no regret for his actions and lies constantly. This lying even started Team Plasma.

Ghetsis is defiantly not trustworthy as he is seen twisting info and straight up lying to further advance his goals.

Ghetsis is narcissistic

There is no issue in taking pride in your work and yourself but Ghetsis takes it much further. After being defeated by Hilda/Hilbert, he says:

"What?! I created Team Plasma with my own hands. I'm absolutely perfect! I AM PERFECTION! I am the perfect ruler of a perfect new world!"

He claims he is perfect and progresses to say that he is perfection itself.  I want to give special attention to the bolded line as it really struck me. It shows how Ghetsis sees himself. To be perfect is to be without flaws. However, humans would not be humans if we didn’t have flaws. This leads me to believe that Ghetsis doesn’t wish to be just a ruler. I believe that Ghetsis wishes to be treated like a God. Take any religion and you’ll see how people view their respective god(s). Typically, people view their gods as perfect and that they can’t do any wrong. This is what Ghetsis thinks of himself. He thinks that what he is doing is right and how nothing will be fixed if he is not worshipped like the god he wants to be.

Some psychopaths can be shown to be overconfident. For example, they may claim they are a world-class swimmer. Ghetsis may be an extreme case of this as he doesn’t just believe it. He will do anything to make others see how perfect he is. In BW2 in the Plasma Frigate, he says

“The terrified people and Pokémon will bow at Team Plasma's...no...at MY feet!" 

He holds a great desire for power and he wants to have people bow to him. At this point, he holds very little regard for Plasma. Keep in mind that in BW2, Ghetsis seems to have lost some of his mental stability.

Ghetsis lacks empathy

One of the telltale signs of a psychopath is the lack of empathy and the ability to connect with people. Ghetsis has been shown to lack empathy on multiple occasions. 

Look at his Hydregion. In BW2, his Hydregion knows Frustration. Frustration is the counterpart of Return where the lower the happiness, the higher power it will have. This shows that Ghetsis holds little regard for his own Pokémon, his partners. He doesn’t care about them. He only sees them as tools and will even hurt them to get them to achieve what he wants.

Ghetsis seeing living things as tools is a common thing. Let’s focus on one specific character: Natural Harmonia Gropius.

N was a boy taken in by Ghetsis to be raised as a king for Team Plasma. While this may seem nice, it isn’t when you realize that N was emotionally abused.

Concordia make note of how N was brought up in BW:

“N has been separated from people since he was young. He was brought up with Pokémon... Pokémon that were betrayed, mistreated and hurt by bad people... Ghetsis deliberately brought only those poor Pokémon closer to N. N was touched by their plight, and started pursuing idealsB/the truthW, thinking only of Pokémon. N's heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence."

This shows that Ghetsis groomed him to believe what he believed in to help push for his goal. I want to make note of the bolded line. What Concordia says is very true. N was a naive and innocent child. He still is innocent due to his sheltering. While it may be beautiful to have someone like him still believe that the world can be sunshine and rainbows, it is also terrifying as it leaves him vulnerable and easily manipulated. Ghetsis knew this and used it to his advantage. I see Ghetsis as the kind of parent who would pay little mind to N unless he got out of line. Ghetsis is implied to spoil N if we look at his room. I feel that such items were only given to keep N quiet and away.

His room seems to be a symbol of stunted maturity. By BW, N should at least be older than 18. At that time, he should have altered his room to more resemble a bedroom. But he didn’t. It leads me to believe that he never truly grew up. He probably still has the mentality of a child. Ghetsis isn’t helping either. I feel Ghetsis is contributing to this as he wants N to be completely dependent on him. By doing this, Ghetsis’ little puppet will always be around to assist his father.

I would elaborate on Ghetsis’ lines to N when he fails but I think “you good for nothing boy” and “a freak without a human heart” are self explanatory. He doesn’t feel an ounce of love for his son. Why didn’t I say adoptive son? Well...

Headcanons on Canon!Ghetsis

A lot of the events in my AU happen in canon for my headcanons. The deaths of his wife and mother, the betrayal of his father, etc. Things play out different though.

Ghetsis would have been the son of a Pokémon breeder. She gifted him his Deino turned to Hydregion. From a young age, he would have shown his lack of care for others. Hurting kids, lying to his mother, etc. After his mother’s death, he inherited her life insurance. Virgil would try to leech off of Ghetsis but Ghetsis would push him away once learning the truth.

Lucina was simply a pawn. He had the idea for Plasma but he needed an heir. He charmed his way into Lucina’s heart and married her to have said heir. The first birth was Anthea and Concordia whom he wasn’t pleased with. It took 7 years due to miscarriages before N was born. She died an hour after his birth. She wanted to name him Natsu but Ghetsis did not honor her last wish and gave him the name of Natural.

He would abandon N to later retrieve him to make himself look good in N’s eyes. To make N hurt if he tried to betray him.

Once upon a time, he tried to fix himself. But after his mother’s death, he stopped caring and became what he is now.

AU Reasoning

The whole basis of the AU is based on two major differences:

Ghetsis is born royalty

Ghetsis was not born a psycopath

This allows Ghetsis to properly feel and express certain emotions. However, all the bad events in his life has lead him to depression. He has an unhealthy way of showing it by assuring himself he’s perfect and that he’s fine. He may say it but he doesn’t truly believe it. He thinks he’s flawed, he’s terrible and that he will never amount to anything and that he himself is a pawn to all of Unova. He doesn’t say anything though because all of Unova is watching. He just has to smile and wave.

I wanted to try to play a character who struggles with emotions he has to hide. With Canon!Ghetsis, this is impossible due to his lack of empathy for others. I wanted Anthea, Concordia and N to have a happy life and to experience a childhood they never seemed to have.

Of course their lives are not without flaws. AU!Ghetsis is shown to be scared of letting his children out his sight and he’s very controlling. A little inspiration was Lusamine SM. It’s tamed down though.

With Ghetsis being my favorite character, I just wanted to see what would happen if I took the strings and messed with his psyche to better the lives of the kids. The AU was mostly made to make the kids happen. However, this causes Ghetsis to suffer. He would never let his kids see it though. Their happiness is more important than his.

[scum-belina]

Help a polyglot girl out

Sooo idek know exactly where to begin. I’ll just try and explain my situation as briefly as possible and then ask for help, resources, and info on what I’m looking for. This is still going to be quite long and I’m so sorry. I’m just absolutely desperate at this point and feel I need to explain why I am so desperate the best that I can.

On Christmas Eve of last year, my father was rushed to the hospital to remove a tumor on his spine that had caused him agonizing pain and damaged his nerves, leaving his legs paralyzed, he had also begun talking out of his mind too with no reasons as to why. The surgery was not a success because the tumor was inoperable, and not only that, but he had three more on his spine, and a tumor also in his brain. Needless to say it was the worst Christmas of my life. After a month of tests, my father was diagnosed with CNS lymphoma, a rare and aggressive cancer, that even after treatment has a 70% chance of coming back... 8 months have passed, and my dad is now cancer free, but still must undergo at least one more chemo treatment this month (13 treatments total), just to try to keep the cancer away. He is still paralyzed and when he’s not in the hospital, he’s in a physical rehab center trying to learn to walk again, but he will likely be in a wheelchair the rest of his life.

My dad was the sole breadwinner of the family, my mom has always been a housewife and never learned to drive, and I don’t have my license and no family is willing to take me to get it, plus we don’t even have a vehicle to drive anyway at the moment, so we can’t drive to a job. We’ve gone through these past 8 months with no income, just what little my parents got on their tax returns, and what little bit some family has given us, and some that was donated to us by friends, but that was much earlier this year and we are beyond grateful for the help, but the money has long run out. We don't even have health insurance. My dad’s only gotten all these treatments bc his oncologist practically begged the hospital to help him. My dad applied for SSI/disability in January, and they gave us no yes or no answer until this June, and they rejected him even though he is absolutely, 100% disabled. Now we’ve appealed it and a lawyer is working on getting him approved, but it’s been two months already and no approval yet  I’m terrified he’ll never get approved. My parents are basing our entire future on an income that’s not even guaranteed and I’m terrified of that fact.

My mom and I have had to live with her parents since we cant afford to live in our own home bc we cant afford to pay the utility bills or groceries. And living here has been hell. I’ve never been put through more verbal abuse and mistreatment in general in my life, but I don't have anywhere else to go. My mom’s side of the family is very cold and cruel to me and my mom and I really don't understand why but they've always been this way. And my grandmother on my dad’s side(who we’re depending on most during this) is actually one of my biggest sources of fear. She’s a selfish and unreliable addict, and has no genuine care for my well-being, nor does any of my other family tbh.

I’ve suffered from severe depression and anxiety for over a decade, but this year it has never been worse. I’ve almost committed suicide three times this year, the last time being only a week ago. My parents have always refused to get me ANY kind of mental health help, they just tell me I’m being selfish and am just not trying hard enough to overcome it, and it just fucking kills me. And now we don't even have the means to get me mental help, so I'm just trying to find a way to better my life by working and doing something I love even within this awful situation, because I really think that’d give me some sense of a purpose and hope.

I just turned 23, and I was homeschooled my whole life until I got my Diploma at 17, and the one thing I've always loved and always been good at is learning languages. Japanese, Spanish, Hebrew, Russian, you name it I’ve at least dabbled in it before lol. Ever since I read Kato Lomb’s book on being a translator YEARS ago, I've always longed to do translation work. I’ve heard that I could do freelance translation work at translate.com, and also at unbabbel.com, but are they any good? Like are they legit? Could I actually feel like I’m doing actual work with the language skill that I have? Do you really get paid anything to translate for them? I’m no really picky about how much I get paid bc I’ll take anything at this point, I just want to know that it’s nothing scammy.

Are there any other legit sites where I could do translation work? Or anything else to do with languages tbh. Like I’d love to be a language teacher ugh. Being a language teacher abroad is my long-term life goal honestly. I’ve had so much help from my amazing friends I’ve made over the years on here. They've helped me get much-needed clothes and language books that I’ve gotten to study throughout Summer, and I am eternally grateful to them, but I feel that it’s high-time I find some way where I can at least make at least a bit of a living on my own, because as I’ve explained I simply do not feel safe or stable where I’m at and am desperate for some kind of independence and stability.

So if anyone in the langblr/translator community or anyone else who sees this knows of ANY kind of translating/language work job I could do online, then PLEASE help me out and link me to them. And if you know of any other resources or online communities that could help me out with being a translator, then again please let me know!!! I’m clueless as to what’s all out there for someone like me.

If you actually took the time to read all of this, then I thank you immensely❤️ ❤️ ❤️ . I’m so sorry it’s so drawn out I’m honestly embarrassed to even talk about any of this. My life’s an absolute wreck, but one thing that’s kept me going is my dream to have a career translating and teaching languages. Literally any links, advice, resources, recommendations. etc. would be greatly appreciated. 

[edgedestroyspt2-blog]

NITW THOUGHTS: THE TERROR OF BANALITY [SPOILERS, DUH]

SO. THIS GAME GAVE ME A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND I’M TRYING TO ORGANIZE THEM. Couldn’t log into my old tumblr so I literally made this one just to do this haha. (you can catch me on twitter at just edgedestroys)

I’m gonna get spoiler heavy here with some theories so if you haven’t played yet, you’ve been thoroughly warned. Lets get into this.

My thoughts are probably going to be really stream of consciousness and messy here so bare with me but WHEW. NITW. Let’s talk. Upon finishing the game I was left very [??????????] about it, a LOT of questions and I hate uncertainty, I hate loose ends and my brain does moon-gravity-only tony hawk’s pro skater combos to try to make sense of uncertainty. When I exit a game like NITW and feel like “what the heck just happened wait what” I look for theories to help me sort what I’ve seen out but here I’ve kinda had to work a lot out on my own. NITW towards the end felt very A and B, not A to B with the supernatural but before I get to that let me back up and say the Young Adult Existential Dread Terror Of Growing Up Collapse Of Small Town Idealism Generational Gap Decay Horror Simulator parts of the game were so well written. SO. Well written, the writing and dialog of this game freaking SHINES with such lived-in relatable personality. If you want to skip reading about my thoughts on the real life stuff and go right to my thoughts on the supernatural stuff, just go to the *****

I felt myself painfully drawn to Gregg as a character and his relationship with Angus. The talk Mae and Gregg have after the knife fight really hit home with me. Much of Gregg’s fears I still have even though I’m almost 6 years older than him. It feels to me for sure like my boyfriend takes the mundaness of adult life in stride, doing the Real Job, being responsible, having his shit together (not to say he’s boring, just better at adulting than me), while I’m still being dragged kicking and screaming into that mature life even at 26 years old. Sure I manage to pay my bills but it’s in spite of still hanging on to naive and frankly childish ideals for a more free/fun life. I’ve faced very real panic of being afraid that I’d screw things up with my boyfriend (also like Angus, his butt is nice).

Mae obviously is incredibly relatable too, the money problems, the anxiety and depression and dropping out of college, feeling like you should be the one to be that success story for your family, the uncertainty of adulthood, hell even at 26 that shit freaks me out especially with our current sociopolitical climate. My mom has helped me a lot in the past, both in morale and financially. The game didn’t specifically talk about this (at least in my current playthrough experience) but the generational gap themes definitely leave it open to discussion, I’ve spent a lot of time in the past thinking things like “when will I get my shit together, she won’t always be there to catch me when I fall, I can’t keep doing this to her, I can’t keep her afraid that I can’t stand on my own when she’s gone”. Bridging that gap is scary as hell, I find myself depending on illustrative commission work because honestly I never manage to keep retail jobs, I have a ton of social anxiety and there’s a barrier there for me in the “here just convince strangers to buy shit” role and considering I never finished getting my BFA in graphic design which is already an already oversaturated market... I have a pretty solid recipe for uncertainty in the Future Financial Stability department. I’ve never really publicly talked about this before but good lord this game is ruthless and earnest in picking open those wounds and making you think about them.

At this point if you’ve played the game though, you probably already know about all that, the terror of being a young(ish?) adult, the gen gap, the discord between baby boomers and millennials, the metaphors of society and capitalism and the small town idealization leading to community decay, the futile sacrifice of xenophobic paranoid dads to try to maintain a halcyon lifestyle built on a collapsing foundation... etc etc, we know how that goes at this point, what I REALLY wanted to talk about is the supernatural stuff... or what felt to me like a lack thereof and what took me a few hours of thinking to really grasp.

*****

So when I finished NITW that ?????????? feeling stemmed a lot from feeling like I didn’t think the dots for the supernatural elements were really connected, the dreams, the dusk constellations, the ghost musicians, the huge spirits you encounter when you assemble the ghost band in the dreams, the cat god, the lovecraftian elder god creatures, the eldritch horror that both was at the bottom of the hole and in Mae’s mind, standing as metaphors for mental illness and socioeconomic decay, all of that felt so “how did I get here, how do these tie together???” to me. I had a pretty rushed playthrough so I know I’ve missed some story elements that I already know about but still. I didn’t miss the news article about the hallucinogenic fumes from the mines so I know the theory is floating that Mae hallucinated a lot of the supernatural but let’s operate under suspension of disbelief for a second. 

Throughout the game I felt like it was preparing me for some Huge Paranormal Showdown™, like some kind of fusion of The Legend Of Korra and Final Fantasy. I’d pieced together this narrative in my mind that I was learning about all these Dusk Constellations with my old teacher because I’d go into the Spirit World and summon those spirits I was experiencing in my dreams to fight a very literal Apocalyptic end of the world that the DadCult was helping facilitate in tandem with the mechanizations of a void left in the wake of a god figure leaving us behind to figure our shit out ourselves. But in the end you just find a bunch of paranoid middle aged community members in robes afraid of change, trying to preserve their idyllic vision for Possum Springs through their sacrifices which, depending on how you think those hallucinogenic fumes and Mae’s mental illness may shape her perception of the world, may be the realest weird thing that happens in the game. I didn’t get the big Armageddon Ghost World Summon Spirit Battle For The Fate Of The Universe, just some old assholes in a mine my friends and I buried alive (Not to downplay the importance of Mae coming to grips with her mental illness and the whole “maybe I don’t need to survive forever but I will for now” moment there) and that left me, I don’t want to say disappointed, but definitely not sated. 

After a lot of thought, something started to emerge to me about all of this, a lot of people talk about how this game’s mythos and plot all are a metaphor for how scary being an adult is, suburban collapse, the very real terror of mental illness, the economic and social ruin of generational divides, etc. But one thing I haven’t seen people talk about yet is I think this also is meant to make you think about how scary The Mundaneness Of Life is. If you really think about it, people thrive on escapism and fantasy, being “normal” is scary as hell to people, the idea of living an “unextraordinary” life. Banality is freaking TERRIFYING to most people I think. And I think the ending of this game really forces you to just sit with that discomfort. Here’s this generation that was raised to have a wild imagination, you spend the game getting deeper and deeper into this supernatural world while still clinging onto childhood and irresponsibility and it brings reality crashing the heck down on you. You don’t get Mae becoming this vivid magical JRPG hero glowing with overlimit powers battling The Void Of The Cosmos for the fate of the world, you just bury some old assholes in a mine then go have band practice and pizza with your friends. The cognitive dissonance of the comedown from this imagined grandiose hero role into real life is visceral as hell and coming to grips with how bland real life is compared to the fantastical visions we like to imagine for ourselves actually kind of hurts. Like, pretty bad depending on how into that kind of stuff you are. And I think despite initially being disappointed by this Wild Ass Spirit Battle not happening (tbh I still am a little because damn it’s set up for that so freaking well), it exposes the brilliance of the writing for this game. I’m in the goddamn furry fandom haha, I know a thing or two about how hard people thrive in escapism and living in an imagined world more interesting than the banality of real life. If you think about it, one of the most devastating coming of age stories you could tell is “no kid, you have to grow up and you’re not going to be a magical warrior saving the universe from unspoken evil, real life is boring as hell”. That shit is thick and scary as heck. 

I recently read a behind the scenes article for Lost Constellation where the creators talk a lot about loss as a theme in the sense of finding that “something” to hold onto when you lose faith in religion and I think that makes the idea of being mundane is scary as a plot device all the bigger in NITW. You basically meet god in Mae’s dreams and he says “peace out assholes I’m sick of you asking me questions, you figure it out” and you think, “oh shit, what now?” You bury the dadcult, go play music with your friends and after having this perception that you’re on the brink of fighting a huge supernatural battle you just go back to normie life in your rundown town falling apart on a decaying foundation of social norms and economics that are on life support that isn’t effective. You’re thrust out of the fantasy of childhood, into the reality of adulthood and you have to find that “something” to cope with just being a dang average ass not magical boring ass person. “At the end of everything, hold on to anything”; everything isn’t literally the world or universe, it’s the shift in your perception of it and the death of the idea that you’re greater than yourself in a fantastical way; anything is whatever you can hold onto in your average ass life that makes you happy despite being forced to acknowledge you aren’t a magical hero that will fight evil instead of filling out your tax returns and knowing your dead end job won’t merit you the legacy of a mystic warrior. 

Yeah, I would’ve loved that spirit world summon battle for sure but if you think about it, that’s probably the easy way out of the woods. There’s a soul crushing heaviness to facing reality and despite my beefs with the pacing at the end and the connection of the supernatural dots not being spelled out for my idiot ass, I can’t do anything but praise the hell out of the NITW team for making the sacrifice of not holding my hand and babying me through what I wanted to experience to feel something, but rather shoving me into what I didn’t realize I maybe needed to really feel something. Being mundane is freaking scary as hell and the way they force you to grow up into it and face it leaves you feeling something deep deep down few other games I’ve played have made me feel. I think maybe the most spiritual/supernatural thing about NITW is how it asks you how you will cope with the void left when you leave the supernatural behind.

[tunnelacoustics]

like all the questions bro, or like at least the ones you're comfortable with answering

Oh boy okay here goes

I didn’t answer all of them I just did the ones I had an immediate answer to it’s not that I’m uncomfortable answering anything else I’m just lazy so feel free to ask me one of the ones I didn’t answer here

(Also sorry if the formatting is shit I’m on mobile)

Is a kiss considered cheating? Most of the time I’d say yes but it depends on the nature of the relationship and what you agreed upon earlierHave you ever faked orgasm? NoIf you could have one superpower, what would it be? Mind controlDo you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Lmao noTell us some funny drunk story. Don’t have one sorryWhy are you no longer together with your ex? We never saw each other and so it was hard to keep the relationship alive I guess? It was mutual though thank god and we’re still friends she’s coolIf you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Ever since I was young I wanted to die by being stabbed because it was dramatic and I am ExtraWhat are your current goals? Get better at guitar, make friends at college, stay happyDo you like someone? NoWho was the last person to disappoint you? MyselfDo you like your body? Most of itCan you keep a diet? I’ve never triedIf the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Oh man I have no idea also I don’t want everyone listening to me I’d probably mumble something unintelligible Do you work? Just petsittingIf you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Salad I fuckin love salad manWould you get a tattoo? SureSomething you don’t mind spending all your money on? My friendsCan you drive? I have my permit and I’m hopefully getting my license in less than a monthWhen was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? I have no ideaWhat was the last thing you cried for? I actually don’t remember isn’t that surprisingDo you keep a journal? Not anymoreIs life fun? SometimesIs farting in front of people irrelevant? I mean I’ve mastered the silent fart so no one ever knows it was me so I do it all the timeWhat’s your dream car? Ehh I don’t really care about cars but it would be cool to take an old looking car like maybe from the 50s and somehow turn it electric I mean I don’t know shit about cars but that would be coolAre grades in school important? NO JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE NOT FUCK THE AMERICAN EDUCATION SYSTEM FOR TAKING AWAY OUR TIME AND HAPPINESS AND MENTAL STABILITY I mean don’t fail your classes but like that’s itDescribe your crush. Don’t have one sorryDumbest lie you ever told? I’m straightIs crying in front of people embarrassing? Depends on the peopleSomething you are good at? Learning things I guess?Do you like small kids? I do not. How are you feeling right now? TiredWhat do you need to be happy? FriendsWhat was the last gift you received? My parents gave me a guitar for graduation!What was the last gift you gave? I gave my mom this thing called a Buddha board for her birthday you paint on it with water and it evaporates and it’s coolWho are you most comfortable around? Pretty much any of my friendsName one thing that terrifies you. The concept of foreverWhat would you tell your 12 year old self? Don’t waste your energy trying to be cool you never will beAny bad habits you have? I pull out my eyebrow hairs when I’m anxiousSome food that truly disgust you? MayonnaiseAre you in love? NoHow long was your longest relationship? 9 months How would you describe your bad side? I can be close minded if I’m really angryAre you actually a good person? Why? I try to be? But if it came down to it I’d prioritize my friends over everything and everyone else so I’d become a bad person if they were in danger I guess but otherwise I hope I’m a good person?What are you living for? Idk man just to see what happensHave you ever done anything illegal? I jaywalk every day. Watch out for this bad boyHave you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? YesEver sent nudes? NoHave you ever cheated on someone? NoFavourite candy? Anything sourHow long have you been on Tumblr? Uhh since pippin I think so like two and a half yearsish?Do you like Chineese food? YesMcDonalds or Subway? McDonald’sVodka or whiskey? WhiskeyAlcohol or drugs? AlcoholEver been out of your province/state/country? Yes Meaning behind your blog name? Idk what I am but I’m awkward as hellWhat are you scared of? Didn’t I already answer this?Last time you were insulted? Idk I don’t talk to people so they don’t insult meMost traumatic experience ? I had oral surgery without anything for the pain and fully conscious that wasn’t fun What colour are the walls in your room? Light blueCan you keep a secret? Yes

[nyxtactic]

Idk pretty sure these two found the cure for everyones depression

NO BECAUSE UNFOLLOW ME RN THIS IS ALL I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT FOR THE NEXT WEEK.

IT HAS HAPPENED. I AM SUDDENLY NOT DEPRESSED ANYMORE. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LOOK AT HOW GENTLE THIS ONE IS I AM GONNA