#like. just from the color alone this drink looks so sad.......... a very sad watered down shade brown........... but yeah

[kaybreezy3000]

In The Flesh

Five Hargreeves / Reader Insert

Imagine that Five wasn't alone the entire time he was in the apocalypse...

-This is a special reader request for an extended scene from my Five Centric fanfic 'The Anti Hero's Pitfall of Arrogance.' Set during the apocalypse and Five is only 21.

-This request is a bit of a spoiler alert to the story that inspired it. It's written with a non-descript female character with no name, only referred to as she or her, so it's sort of a reader insert/you sort of vibe, or you can think of it as simply someone that Five loved. Think of it as you or someone else, either way, it's sad. 😭

Heed the warnings and click the link in the summary to read the full story if you want to get the full picture of what led up to this very sad moment for our favorite guy.

Warning: possible triggers, suicidal thoughts/behavior issues, alcohol abuse/excessive drinking, extreme grief/loss, graphic description of death/corpse, we get some Dolores in this, meant to be very sad, this fic this is based on is not all gloom and doom but it's clearly not all pretty either.

(5312 words)

In The Flesh

The funny thing about rock bottom is I’d thought I’d hit it many times before she saved me but really there is no depth far enough down to describe where I was after finding her body and where I would be for a very long time after that.

Like I’d done every day since I saw her favorite baseball cap bobbing on that partially submerged branch stuck out in the depths of the churning flood waters, I was out looking for her. On my endless searches, I would yell her name, over and over, till my voice was nothing more than a pained screech of air.

It was as I was scouring a new area that the water had receded that I went to shout her name again but stopped with only the first faint syllable. 

The moment I saw her distinctly colorful sandal and what appeared to be the discolored fragments of flesh still clinging to the bones trapped in it, the wind shifted, and my nostrils were filled with a pungent, sickeningly sweet, earthy odor.

That is what the smell of death is like if a body has been exposed to the elements for ten days or more. The anatomy and physiology decomposition literature states, a body exposed to the elements begins to decompose within less than 1 hour postmortem. That rate is accelerated if the tissues are exposed to other factors such blunt force trauma or heat and moisture.

She had been exposed to all of it.

I could still hear the ominous sound of the huge trees snapping and boulders grinding over things in the swift current as I walked along the road, just hours after she’d gone, only then, I didn’t know she wasn’t coming back. I didn’t know what was being done to her.

Now her body was there, under the hardened soil, but her foot was the only part of her that was visible other than her twisted tangle of hair wrapped around a river beaten branch. 

For the last week I’d been lying to myself, trying to hang on to the idea that she was still out there, that she was just too mad at me to come home. But really, in that time, she’d been first submerged in the torrents of flood water decimating that landscape, and then after, (not long based on the murky pool of muck and the very small cracks in the clay at my feet), she’d been there, encased in the ground. 

I cried out her name.

I dropped the stick I’d been using to poke and prod the underbrush, my body instantly disappearing for a fraction of a second into the snapping vacuum of my portal. Stepping out of it a few yards away, I fell to my knees, my trembling hands not knowing what to do or what was safe to touch. I moved to her foot, then pulled back as the tiny black flies that were startled by my presence flew up in an angry swarm.

The temperature since the day she disappeared had been colder but that had done nothing to prevent her rapid decay.

Entomology and Body Decomp 101: A decomposing body will attract all manner of life forms within 24 after death. If allowed access, scavengers are ruthless in their pursuit of the flesh of the dead. 

Having been well read prior to my time in the apocalypse and being well acquainted with death in the years before this, I was still not prepared for what I saw or had to go through over the next several hours it took to free her.

Her body was no longer her anymore, but I couldn't accept that. My mind told me she was under there and she was so scared. 

Frantically, I started digging with my bare hands. No matter how careful I was clawing at the clay that had molded her in the ground, anytime my fingers came close to her, they crushed her slick, wet remnants of flesh, tearing it through.

At this point, she had surpassed the early stages of decomposition. Gone was the bloating. The gases and liquids had mostly expelled, and her skeleton was letting go of her skin, though in some areas it remained in denser sections that were identifiable but mostly because her clothes had embedded in her. Her jean shorts made clear where her abdomen was, what was left of her chest was now part of her t-shirt.

What I was seeing and touching and smelling made my stomach heave over and over but still I had to save her.

She had needed me, and I wasn’t there.

Stage 4 post-decay lacks some of the first levels of putridity, but even though I had seen hundreds of thousands of faces of death, seeing hers will always represent the loss of everything; even more so than the day I’d foolishly ran into the future, lost my family, and found I couldn’t get back.

“No, no, no,” I sobbed, my filthy, bloodied fingertips inching along her face, or what should have been her face. “I am so sorry… Please!  No! God, please!”

The mouth I had cherished was gaping, her once perfect teeth were more exposed than they should have been due to the skin around them receding or simply just not being there at all. 

Her eyes…

Where once someone had looked back at me with so much love and endless understanding, now there was horror, both mine and hers. 

Sickness took me again.

Dizzy, I frantically scrambled back, away from where I had unearthed most of her, my stomach emptied, but nothing but acid spilled onto the scattering of broken foliage off to my side. 

My ears were filled with the evil buzzing sound of insects that were warming themselves in the open area around us as the sun relentlessly beat down.

I couldn’t take it.

A feral sound of pure agony crawled out of my chest, getting eaten away by all the nothingness.

“Please, I am so sorry… Please forgive me, I never meant for…” 

She wouldn’t except my words and I couldn’t blame her.

My broken cries were lost in my delirium. On hands and knees, I came back to her, lifting her to me even though I shouldn’t have.

The gruesome sound of parts of her stickily pulling free from the ground and the sight of the parts of her that remained in the soil were enough to fracture what was left of my sanity.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you, we can go home now,” I shushed her, in my head believing I had the ability to soothe her pain. 

She still said nothing, and I told myself it was because she was just too weak.

She just needed my help. She was just mad. She was just…

“You are safe now,” I said, my hand sinking into her, her spinal column hitting my palm not even enough to shock me back into reality. 

After cradling her for far too long, I said, “I am not leaving you here.” 

Lightly as possible, I let my shaking hand touch her hair, seeing but not acknowledging that it was starting to detach from her scalp. Without thinking, I forced the massive amounts of energy I needed for a jump, the blue power expanding from my hands, then around us. 

I only took us across the drying riverbed, up the steep embankment and up the hill to where the road hadn’t been washed out, and that was far, but it was not even close to getting us back to our cabin. For that, I had planned to teleport again and again, as many times as it took but when my feet smacked the ground the force of it made the tendons holding her right thigh to her hip give way and the length of her leg landed at my feet. 

“Fuck!” I screamed, slamming to my knees to grab her.

Like a madman, I could at least put together that she was falling apart and that this wasn’t going to work. Even jumping with her was too much. She was so fragile; she’d always said she wasn’t, but she was…

“I am so-ssss-sorry,” my voice cracked as I carefully laid her down again. 

The sight of those tiny black bugs as they fought to get a piece of the woman I loved, caused me to feel the burn of violent anger and that almost brought me to my senses, but even that too, I washed away with another imaginary idea, that if I just covered her, somehow all the severed openings that were now more her than anything else, would be spared from further ruin.

In a frenzy, I stripped off my shirt, covering her with it the best I could. The moment I was able to get to my feet again, I swayed, the world spun, but when it came back into focus, I could see again like lightning struck my head, brightening the gray world around me, making the colors of her bright sandals and her hair and the tattered remains of her clothing stand out in stark contrast to the deep darkened purple of her rotting body.

My filthy hand came up, rubbing my face and my blurred eyes, then my fingers tore back as I painfully yanked at my hair. 

I had done this to her.

Sniffling and on the verge of a full screaming fit of rage, I turned and started making my way up the road, a few steps away, my hands coming together, my fingers like claws, I tried to gather the light in my hands to blink again, but instead I was met with the impotence of the faintest swirls of azure static crackling to life then fizzling out. 

Turning back to the motionless pile on the ground, I again assured her I’d be back. Then in a haze, like a zombie on empty, I mindlessly made my way back, my mud-covered boots trudging up the steep hill, my balance faltering over and over as I’d tripped over the uneven surface.

If you ask me what I was thinking during that walk, I couldn't tell you. All I knew was that I was empty and that a horrible numbness was taking hold.

Even still, I came back fast, like I’d promised. First, I placed her in a thick blanket, sure to get every bit that was her that was there, anything that wasn’t, I never found.

“There,” I breathed, positioning her leg that had been torn off at the hip in such a way that looked less painful. Then flapping away any visible bugs from her, I covered her completely. Knowing that she was in the later stages of decomposition but that it was far from over and she was seeping fluids, I lifted her, and laid the cocoon of wool on top of a tarp. 

I could have carried her the whole way but not wanting to hurt her or break her apart more than she already was, I only carried her to the cart I’d brought back with me, then I carefully laid her in. 

Though she didn’t answer no matter how much I wanted her to, I spoke to her the whole way as I tugged the wagon with her in it up the hill. 

Getting back to our home, the mud encrusted wheels clattered to a stop in the yard right next to the chair I had been sitting in the day we had gotten into our fight. It was dead silent and getting so dark by that point that the stars were coming out but as if in a time loop in hell, I could still hear the cruel things I’d said to her on that sunny morning. 

Looking down at the small mound of blanket with her in it, I said, “You have to forgive me. I don’t know what to do without you. I don’t want to live with-”

My heart was racing, I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt a new tightness where before, since the hours after she’d gone and not come back, I’d only felt the stabbing pain of regret and fear, now it was like an aching void as if there were an actual hole inside me.

I stood there blankly staring at the door, then back to her, my mind not working at all but somehow still functioning enough to make the start of a string of very bad decisions.

Taking her up in my arms, we went inside. “We’re back. You're not alone anymore. I never meant to leave you out there like that. I tried so hard to find you,” I said, smothering my words against her wrap. “It’s okay now…we are okay…”

I kicked the door closed then I moved straight for our bed, and I would have laid her down in it and climbed right in if not for the fact that Dolores was sitting in the chair next to it, staring at me looking horrified.

‘No, Five, don’t!’

Saying nothing, I spun around to instead place the bundle in my arms on the couch in front of the fireplace. It wasn’t lit and it needed to be. That’s what she and I did at night. That was our other special place.

Memories of sitting there together, her behind me, reaching around to place my fingers correctly to play the chords she was trying to teach me filled my head. I could almost trick myself into thinking I could hear her beautiful playing and that I could hear her laugh at me every time I’d try to get out of my lessons.

“This is okay. I’ll fix this. We are going to be okay,” I said, as I started to unwrap her.

Dolores panicked at the sight in front of us. ‘Five, no. She’s gone. This isn’t right. What are you doing?”

I stopped, leaving her under wraps but I ignored Dolores’ s warning and started to light the fire. 

Again, Dolores asked, ‘Five, what are you doing? She is dead. You can’t do this to yourself.’

“She’s not dead!” I shrieked, my eyes filling with welling tears as I clenched my hands, my broken fingernails slicing half-moons into the flesh of my dirty palms. 

‘I am sorry, Five, but she is. You knew that after she didn’t come back.”

My head turned back and forth as I shook away a flood of tears threatening to come out and drown me like the water had done to all that I loved. I pinched my eyes shut, a broken whimper squeaking out of my throat.

‘Look at yourself, Five… You are not okay. That is why she can’t stay here. I love her too, but she is gone.’

I opened my eyes and looked at myself. I had no shirt on, my body was covered in mud and death. 

The smell of me… 

The smell of her poor body…

‘You need to bury her. She wouldn’t want this.’

“No,” I whispered as my body trembled and I stared blankly at the floor. “No,” I said again, then screamed, “Stop!!!! Just stop! Don’t you fucking talk to me! I didn’t ask for your help! It didn’t ask for any of this!”

Refusing to look up and see the hurt on Dolores’s face, I looked to the motionless pile of fleece blanket.

“I am not putting you out there all alone again, sweetheart.”

With that affirmation, and me placing a kiss to her covered face, the night did not get better.

In the light of the fire, I sat there on the floor in front of the couch as close to her as I could be without touching her. I wanted to protect her. I needed to keep my promise that I wasn’t going to leave her. 

So many times, she and I had discussed the possibility of me being able to jump back in time and the fact that doing so with her was going to make it all the harder for me to pull off. Even with the right math, and just me, the energy needed to do it was something I hadn’t figured out how to achieve. Even though she had said that me getting back was all that mattered, I refused to consider leaving without her. 

I couldn’t leave her, not then and not now; that was what I kept telling myself.

Sometime late into the night, slumped against the plaid couch, my head resting near hers though she remained covered, my demented and wrong train of thoughts slipped away, and sleep took me but in it l found no solace. 

~~~

As I came to in the early hours of the next morning with my body crumbled on the cold floor, I knew instantly that everything I wanted to believe was okay was not. 

The dimly lit cabin smelled of death and I was graced with the buzzing sound of a half a dozen or more flies that had found their way in somehow in the tiniest of cracks.

The decay had been clinging to me since I found her, but I refused to acknowledge it even as the putrid odor only added to my ongoing nausea. I clumsily reached for the stale glass of water I’d left at some point on the end table. Drinking it burned my cracked lips and the taste of it felt laced with a bitter acid. I wanted to retch but managed to refrain.

Then, wanting to remain living in the land of make believe, I got up, went to our small kitchen area, and proceeded to grab several bottles of liquor.

Dropping down next to her again, I twisted a cap, sloshing the clear liquid as I tipped it back, dumping the alcohol down my raw throat. 

It was awful but that was not the only time I’d drank to forget, or that I’d drank things that were questionable in their quality.

“Remember when we found that stash of cheap wine with the seals broken,” I quietly asked. 

I took a long pull at the bottle, then another as I peered over my shoulder at her laying there on under her favorite blanket.

“Smarter than me as always, you refused to drink any of it, but not me… Stupid as always, I gave it a try and boy did I pay for it. You had to baby me for the entire next day. God, I am such a lightweight. I’d be dead if not for you.”

I laughed, the sound of it thick with irony.

“You were always so good to me…”

Eyeing the dried mud and smears of her flesh on my pants, my eyes blurred. 

“I didn’t deserve you and you didn’t deserve this.”

I started to cry. Then I started to hyperventilate, my breaths coming too fast and my head spinning. 

Shuddering, I drank more and more but I could never turn the image of my girl’s face staring back at me from that riverbed into the beautiful living version I wanted so badly to believe was still with me.

Hours later, I was disturbingly drunk. 

One minute I was musing to myself about our better times, talking out loud like a maniac about something so wonderful, like one night that she and I were out scavenging too far to come back, and we’d camped out under the stars. I’d told her the names of all the constellations I knew and there were many. She’d quietly listened, cuddled up next to me, both of us just happy to be in love and together even if our world was a landscape of tragedy. 

Together, we could have done anything. We were going to save the world.

Now she was gone.

I had nothing.

She’d been everything and now I had no one again.

With the room spinning, I abruptly got to my feet, stumbling towards the window above the sink basin. The flies zipped and buzzed in front of me, landing in the vomit I had left there after I’d finished the first bottle of liquor. Knowing that those same dirty insects were landing on my beautiful girl made me quake with not just sickness but unmeasurable self-hatred.

I was a fucking mess, and I wasn’t doing right by her. 

Dolores was right. 

Glancing back to where I had abandoned Dolores almost two days prior, the room tilted in my vision. I dizzily turned back, clutching the white cast iron basin.

The light outside was fading. I wanted to go along with it. I wanted all the horrible pain and debilitating heartache to stop.

Laying on the butcher block counter space where we prepared our meals, was a sharp kitchen blade. With where my head was at, seeing it, I immediately thought of my gun and other times of morbid desperation. 

My tears burned down my cheeks.

I hated myself so much for what I had caused. If I had not yelled at her, and if I could only have seen through my arrogance and own my deficiencies, she would still be here. I didn’t and instead did what I’d always done and blamed anyone but myself for my problems.

I’d taken out everything on her, again…

If I’d only learned from my mistakes, things that weren’t okay never would have been said. She never would have felt the need to be away from me. She never would have gone for that walk, and if she had, I would have been by her side. If I had just agreed with her to go to the city to try something new, I may not have had the breakthrough we needed so badly but at least she’d be there.

Feeling on the verge of vomiting again, I wanted to disappear into an alcohol induced coma.

I pushed off the sink, staggering like a drunken idiot the whole way back to the dresser that was next to my side of the bed. In a blur, I saw Dolores sitting there on her chair, but she didn’t say anything. She looked every bit the inanimate object she was.

It was as if I’d killed her too.

I yanked the top drawer open, my hand tearing through the clothes to find the heavy black metal object that my fucked-up mind craved. 

My fingers grazed the cold instrument of death. I could feel the barrel of the pistol sticking down my throat, the oiled slickness of it slipping past my parting lips. 

Just the thought made me gag but with sick fascination, and I didn't’ stop thinking about it.

All it would take is one second and my finger on the trigger and no more guilt. My brain would be a splatter of nothing, painting the bedspread behind me. The place we’d slept and loved would be ruined just like we were.

Images of us, heated tangled flesh, together in those same blankets filled my mind.

To get away from the hurt that memory caused, I looked up, the weapon in my hand but my eyes aimed at the small dresser mirror. It was as if a stranger was looking back at me. My stomach felt like it was trying to crawl out of my mouth and my vision was closing in with blackness threatening to pull me under.

I was seeing things and hearing things.

The loud pop of the bullet; the sound of my body hitting the floor. 

I saw bugs crawling out of the jagged rotting hole in my skull.

Then I saw her face, only not the destroyed one that was hidden under the blankets on the couch. 

That was when I finally came back to myself. 

“Don’t you fucking do it,” I furiously screamed at myself, throwing the gun back down in the drawer.

My ears were ringing from my own terrified voice reverberating in them, then a few seconds later, the silence of death and that room returned.  

It was just me, the mannequin and the body.

Dolores was right, I needed to let her go. 

I had to bury her.

~~~

Over the next several hours, through the task of digging a hole in the ground, I sobered up significantly. Having done that, I re-entered the dank, horrid smelling cabin, removing the small pile of remains that had been the love of my life.

I was still covered in layers of filth and knowing that even if Dolores wouldn’t speak to me, she’d loved her as much as me and she’d want to be there to say goodbye, I quickly washed myself outside under the spout attached to the spring fed line that was rigged to the house. Splashing my face with a mix of soap and water, I cleaned my battered hands, and my arms, and I removed my soiled pants, tossing them in the woods. 

The water streaming down my body was ice cold and disgusting. My fleshly cleaned and very pale skin ran under my fingers, standing in stark contrast to the filth that I was and the sight of it only furthered the much-needed reality check I'd only recently found. 

Once I’d made myself somewhat more presentable, I redressed, then silently approached Dolores.

My voice cracked from being burned by stomach acid so many times and by my screams and lack of simply drinking or eating appropriately for days, but I had the strength and weakness to ask her for something I didn't deserve.

“Please come with me…I don’t want to do this alone.”

When Dolores responded with her softly spoken words of devotion, ‘You are never alone, Five. You will always have me,’ I was nearly beside myself with emotion. I’d thought I’d lost her along with everything else.

“Oh, my God, thank you,” I sobbed as I lifted Dolores up and carried her outside into the yard.

We approached the hole I’d dug. It wasn’t that deep, and it wasn’t that big, but it didn’t need to be. It was in front of an ancient but long dead ash tree that she had once told me had to have been something truly beautiful at one point in time when it was alive.

It was just like her.

The burial was silent, save for the sound of the blade of my shovel slicing through the softened pile of dirt I had removed and then replaced. 

The sky was getting dark, the woods full of shadows of monstrous things that looked like they could come out of the night and pull you away forever. 

I sat, folded in on myself at the base of the old ash tree, the disturbed soil at my feet as I looked up to the highest branches of the barren tree. Its flesh had been taken. Remanence of its bark were scattered all around me. It would someday be nothing but dust. 

We all would be, but it was not my time-yet.

Burying my head in my hands, I kept telling myself that. 

~~~

In the days that came after that, it rained and rained. My mind tormented me constantly with the flawed idea that she was trapped out there in the crushing wet ground. One second, I’d be haunted by images of her so scared and trying to breath and break free as then dirty water filled her lungs, and then the next, I’d come back to the dimly lit room I was in; Dolores worriedly watching me as I slowly organized things and cleaned up my many messes.

We couldn't stay there, but I couldn't bring myself to leave either, not when everything I had that she'd ever touched was right there. All around me were parts of her life that she’d shared with me. I’d clung to every trinket; every item of fabric that bore her scent. 

Lying in bed at night, I’d break down into sobbing fits of anguish with my face buried in her pillow. I could stay like that for hours on end, fading in and out, tricking my mind and heart into thinking I hadn't lost her and that she was right there in bed next to me. But it would never last because the damp coldness of the empty space around me that had once been warmed by everything that was her was an inescapable reminder that I had failed the woman I loved and who had saved me.

It was in a notion during one of these times of despair that I realized the only thing I could do to redeem what I had done was to fix this like I'd always promised her I would. Out there somewhere in time there was a place where the world was still alive, and she was in it and everyone I ever cared about was still flesh and blood and filled with life.

I had to get back.

The pain that happened here was real and always would be but somewhere out there, there was a chance of better things.

There was a chance of seeing her again.

That idea of saving her and my family was the only way, and it was my reason for breathing again.

Broken, but somehow still standing, my heart though not the same was still beating. The flesh covering my hand could still feel hers in it and it was while cherishing that feeling that I made the decision that it was time to go. 

On our final day, I got up like every day since I’d put her in the ground under that tree. I came outside, picking up the wildflowers I had left for her the day before, then I went for a short walk, talking to her in my mind the entire time, making my usual promises while I worked through ideas and math and things that gave me hope. Then I’d come back, refill her favorite vase with new water and place the colorful blooms there above her.

Alone, the sun shone down on me, my shadow stretching across the earth above her, giving the illusion that we were laying there together.  

“I love you,” I whispered, my eyes blinking back the enormous weight I felt from her loss and would always feel.

I liked to think I heard her say she loved me back, but I knew she didn’t; it was just a memory of her words tickling my ear as her lips gently kissed along my neck.

I shivered from head to toe as I felt the ghost of her touch but not in a bad way.

I smiled, sniffing like a baby as I rubbed my eyes.

Then, making one last promise I said, “You will be okay. I’ll fix this.”

Going back in the house, with Dolores watching all the while, obedient and loyal and loving with words of encouragement, I packed my final things.

I left our cabin spotless and set up as if we were coming back to it. It was as if I could see us in there again, spending our nights in front of that fireplace, laughing and endlessly teasing each other; our bed ready for us to lay down in and explore each other in new and exciting ways that only made our love stronger. I saw all that but in the back of my head I knew I was never going to come back to that place because it was gone, and if I did return, I may never leave her.

So, it was with that in mind, late in the morning, I loaded Dolores with our supplies, setting her next to the hard black guitar case that held her cherished Christmas present I'd given her and so many other things I couldn’t let go. I pulled a blanket around Dolores and the case, as if the instrument inside it had become something in a way of being the woman I’d lost, so much the way Dolores was a real thing that needed my care and love. 

I walked to the old, grayed ash tree, its wind worn and smooth branches shone in the warm sun as I looked down at the ground where I’d left a piece of my heart. I could almost hear the sound of her playing my favorite sone and I knew that when I plucked those strings, a piece of my heart would break a little more with each strum, but I’d be back with her.

My lower lip trembled, and my nose burned with the same heat as my eyes.

“Until we meet again, my love…”

Thank you for your support , this special cover art was made just for this and for you.💞 @groovydazephantom

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Era IV - V Ghouls HCs (part 1)

Color shows who made what hc - reblogs are appreciated!

Disclaimer!! We don't call Sodo, well... Sodo. We instead call him Smoke.

Basics

Phantom and Aurora are siblings with Aurora being the older sibling. Back in the Pits since they were ghoul kits they've been inseparable. They were summoned together. Can be a bit chaotic with each other if left alone together, but the moment Swiss joins in they'll all need to be watched like a hawk.

It took a while for Mountain, Smoke, and Aether to warm up to Copia as frontman since they were used to Terzo

Ghoulettes have girls night every week. They blast white girl bangers all night

Ghouls send Copia the ant with bindle photo when he scolds them to get out of trouble (it always works)

While most ghouls like to play fight, Swiss and Aurora do it the most and it’s usually pretty intense so the others avoid with them unless feeling particularly worked up. You would think they were actually trying to kill each other but no

Cirrus, Cumulus, Smoke, and Swiss watch those shitty reality TV shows to point fun at humans and the awful things they do. This is nearly a weekly thing if any of them have time to hang out with free time.

Cumulus and Cirrus always would send messages with at least one emoticon

We know Mountain is the tallest, but the smallest current ghouls are both Cumulus and Aurora at 5’3”. However, they are not the smallest ghouls of modern day Ghost (that title goes to Mist at 4'10" aka three sauces tall.)

Smoke/Dewdrop

He/they

Summoning day is June 21st, 2015

Favorite animal is pangolins because they look like dragons

Transmasc (ftm)

Went by Dewdrop when water ghoul, but changed it to Smoke when he became a fire ghoul

Middle child energy

He still has some fin-like features on him, but not as much as before. Some water ghouls could have scales like fish, so you'd have to squint to see the patches of scales on Smoke. They were larger when he was still water. The fire features kinda override it.

Not mean (unless it's Aether /j), just easily irritated

Would never get angry at any ghoulettes. He drinks respect women juice everyday. He most definitely fears Cirrus sometimes

Sometimes joins the ghoulettes with their girls night just to get away from all the chaos, especially after a rough week

Will sell Aether's non-existent soul for a single corn chip

Ok he actually does care about Aether, but he just has limits to his shenanigans.

Has a huge crush on Aurora, but can't find any way to express it so he just runs away the moment she looks at him. Ran into walls and door frames multiple times because of this.

Since he was transformed into a fire ghoul instead of naturally born like that, the features a fire ghoul would normally have are weaker with him (ex: he doesn’t radiate much heat from his body)

Wants affection and then bites when he’s had enough like a cat

Doesn’t take criticism very well

Aether

He/him

Summoning day is June 24th, 2015

Favorite animal is tigers because of how big they are and goofy they can be at times

One of my three weed smoking girlfriends

Little sibling energy that Smoke the main victim of

One of the most kindest ghouls you'll meet

He has some knowledge in healing and health, so if any of the ghouls, or anyone who is close to him in general, are sick or injured they go straight to Aether

He does that thing where he gets his hands wet and flings his fingers out to get water on Smoke

Helped take care of and watch over ghoul kits back in the Pits

He is still around the Ministry after leaving Ghost and still hangs out with the others when they're not touring.

If he could wear socks in sandals all the time he would

Very sensitive. Cries at those sad dog ads and donates the Ministry’s money

—

Mountain

He/they

Summoning day is June 19th, 2015

Favorite animal is ram since he has similar horns like them and how tough they are when butting heads with each other

Gentle giant

Has long, dark black hair that is super soft to touch and doesn’t mind the others playing with his hair

Ghoul equivalent to a golden retriever

Like a big brother to Smoke and Aether

Doesn't hunt like the other ghouls. He is able to control his urges, and plus there's already food inside so why bother

Plant dad. Even if you give him a fake plant he'll still love and cherish it. Names them all

Usually will have to stop Smoke from trying to lunge for Aether’s throat

Taller than the average earth ghoul at 7’3”. There were bruises on his face because of walking right into door frames when first summoned. Gets front passenger seat privileges

Keeper of air jail (lifting somebody up if they are causing trouble) Grabbing em by the scruff when the others are fighting

Rain

Any pronouns

Summoning day is July 18th, 2016

Favorite animal is blue marlin because of how fast it can swim and the sword-like appendage on their noses

Likes to keep fishies

Can only sleep when it’s pitch black

Has shark like features (the teeth, tail, sense of smell, etc)

Not shy at all, but just not very social. Possible social anxiety? Yes social anxiety bc projection

Eats the rainbow aquarium rocks like they're Nerds candy.

Mainly sticks around with Mountain since the two have good chemistry.

Gets mad at his own hiccups

Genderfluid

—

Cumulus

She/ey

Summoning day is April 4th, 2016

Favorite animal is mourning dove because of how they coo

Wine aunt

Anxiety. Not too terrible, but it still is awful

Would bring a dead animal inside after hunting and call it her Girl Dinner™

Literal Disney princess. She could sing and birds would fly to her to sing along

Terrified when first summoned. Glued to Cirrus’ side for the first six months

She is one of the sweetest ghoulettes, but she has quite a bit of weird and creepy pictures and items that will freak people out. Her and Swiss send each other cursed images and videos

Very motherly and protective of the others

Loves to wear fluffy, cloud-like clothing

Link to part 2 will be here soon!

[sunandflame]

Shards or Glass, Chapter 5

Summary: Kyojuro Rengoku, History Teacher on the Kimetsu Academy, is constantly having strange dreams about a Slayer who looks exactly like him. He thinks nothing of it until he recognizes a very specific person from these dreams and feels a very unique connection to her.

Pairing: History Teacher Kyojuro x Teacher Fem!Reader

Trope: Reincarnation / Sequel to Flame and Water (can be stand-alone)

Word Count: 1879

Warning: slightly suggestive

Pinterest Board of Shards of Glass

Crossposted on AO3

Masterlist of Shards of Glass

The whole table had been paying close attention to the conversation between Y/N and Tengen. There were also some embarrassed looks exchanged between them at Tengen's shamelessness. Still, no one stopped him because they were all too interested in what she might answer. So did Kyojuro, who watched the shy English teacher closely and was delighted to see her blushing. How cute she looked like that... But the questions even made him all flustered and with the second one his imagination went crazy, even if she refused to answer that one. ‘Are you a dom, a sub, or a switch?’ Really Tengen?! It didn't make the situation any better when he winked at him too. As if he had asked these questions for him!

“Next question: Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

The laughter and previous embarrassment at his second question caught in his throat. All color had drained from his face. All the hopes he had until today were dashed all at once. She had a boyfriend? Why didn't she say anything? Of course, no one had asked and yet... Nevertheless, the pain was deep and he couldn't let anything show at the table.

“Oh Rengoku-san, so you drink after all?” Himejima-san noticed how he reached for the sake bowl and filled himself a cup.

He didn't answer. Lying wasn't his forte. He hated it and wouldn't start with it now. Anyway he had to do something to distract himself. He had felt Y/N's gaze on him and couldn't bear what he saw in her eyes. Pity, sadness, hope, yearning? Was it wishful thinking? Had the alcohol kicked in so quickly?

The dinner was ruined for him for the rest of the evening and he tried his hardest not to look into her direction which was why he ordered another bowl of sake.

Everyone ended up drunk, some more some less, but nobody was able to get home safely on their own so Kanae had called her sister to pick her up and Sanemi went along with them. Tengen got picked up by one of his girlfriends. Obanai with his phobia of women took a cab with Gyomei. That left him with Y/N and Tomioka. 

Kyojuro couldn’t remember how he ended up in the back seat of her car, while Tomioka sat next to her in the passenger seat. There was a quiet conversation going on between the two cousins that he was not able to hear. His head was far too full of thoughts that he tried to organize but he was too drunk to do so.

“Good night, Giyuu.”

He jumped when he heard the slam of the car door. She asked him quickly for his address and he answered her briefly and succinctly. This brought up a worried look of hers he was able to see in the rearview mirror. “Are you okay, Rengoku-san? Do you need some fresh air?”

“No, I’m fine.” Was he though? Physically, yes. Mentally, not sure. 

The young woman looked at him again through the rearview mirror before turning her gaze back towards the road. His address was already typed into her cell phone. “If you say so, it’s just unusual to see you so silent.”

He didn't answer her and therefore there was an uncomfortable silence in the small car. Something unsaid hung in the air, but he couldn't bring himself to talk about it. He simply couldn't. Fuck, she had a boyfriend! Her heart belonged to someone else and this broke his own. He leaned his head against the cool pane of the window and drifted off into a dreamless sleep. He didn't wake up when she called his name, when they arrived. Only her gentle touch on his hand brought him back but also triggered something in him. A core memory.

Laughing, he had taken her hands in his and kissed each knuckle. Her giggle spiked up the flame of love in his heart. Her other hand was on his cheek before he turned his face to kiss her palm just to gently pull her towards him to claim her lips. Their love was beyond measure. They were connected in their souls. No further words conveyed how much they loved each other. They didn't have to say it out loud. Their heart spoke for them.

Kyojuro jumped in his seat and looked into Y/N's wide eyes. She had pulled her hand back as if the touch had given her an electric shock. Had she seen the same thing? 

“Thank you for the ride and good night.” He quickly opened the car door and sprinted into his apartment. It pained him to leave her like that, but it was too much for him to handle and the alcohol in his blood did not make the situation better. He did not know how he left her there, confused with a pounding heart.

~ ~ ~

The alcohol took its revenge the next day. The history teacher got up with the most disgusting headache and vowed to never drink a drop again. If the headache would stop him from dreaming about his beautiful colleague, he would gladly take the pain, but unfortunately it didn’t work that way. He had to deal with this hangover and heartbreak from a girl he had not even been together with.

Y/N was taken and he had to stop thinking about her, but it was hard, especially when he thought about what had happened when she touched him. There was a connection between them, he knew it! And she must have seen it too! But she was taken, he reminded himself again. His sincerity and honor as a man and human did not allow to intervene in someone's relationship. He ruffled his hair in frustration. Not only his thoughts, but also his dreams became wilder and more confusing. He had to put an end to this and he could only do that if he got to the bottom of that matter. With a painkiller he laid down on his couch and ended his Saturday without doing much. Before that, he had written to his brother briefly to let him know that he would definitely come by tomorrow because he had to look for something in the attic.

~ ~ ~

It was nice to spend time with his family, he honestly couldn't imagine anything better. Senjuro must have let his mother know yesterday because she had prepared his favorite meal today. He felt his mouth water when he smelled it. The good food made him nearly forget everything bad.

“Kyojuro, my dear, you know that you can come anytime you want.” Ruka gave him another refill with a smile.

“I know, mother.” He spoke between the bites, swallowing before speaking with his mouth full. “I missed you a lot and I will definitely come by more often. But today I have to get something from the attic.”

“From the attic? Shinjuro, did you not want to clean it up recently?” Her gaze switched to Shinjuro, who was staring embarrassingly at his food. Only his wife was able to turn that hard man into this.

"I forgot to do it." He gave his wife an apologetic look before turning back to Kyojuro. "What are you looking for exactly, son?"

“If I'm not mistaken, there should be old diaries from the Taisho era or even older. I'd like to take a look at them," Kyojuro answered him between bites.

“The Rengoku archives go back to the Sengoku era, but yes it is a bit messy there. I still hope you find what you’re looking for.”

‘A bit messy’ was an understatement. It was pure chaos. Lots of unlabeled boxes lying all over the place, but there was no point in getting upset about it. The young man opened box after box only to find a few old photo albums with pictures of him and Senjuro where they were little. Sweet memories that warmed the pain of his broken heart, but they still weren't what he was looking for.

He had been in the attic for hours and couldn't find anything useful. He hadn't even kept track of the time when his mother suddenly came by in her sleeping gown. “Kyojuro, my dear, it’s very late. I have prepared a futon for you if you want to stay here.” 

He looked at her in surprise and then looked at his wristwatch, which showed it was almost midnight. He had completely lost track of time. He sighed and closed the box again. “No mother, that is not necessary. I still have to get my things from home before going to work tomorrow, but thank you.”

“As you wish, but are you really okay? You seem very lost in your thoughts. You know you can talk to us.” His mother's gentle eyes looked at him and he was close to crumbling down into little pieces and telling her everything. He stood up and took her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his broad form, realizing how much he had grown - from a small child into a strong man. She gave him the warmth and love that only a mother could give. It healed a little piece of him. 

“Everything will be fine. I promise.” A promise that he made more to himself than to her.

~ ~ ~

The sunny boy was rarely in a bad mood - that did not mean never. Yesterday was the case when he went home from his parents place. It frustrated him more than ever that he had not found anything even though he knew there was something there. He hadn't seen Y/N yet this Monday morning and was happy about it for the first time. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, but he couldn't stand it right now and he wasn't sure how he would behave towards her. He had to distance himself from her. Physically as well as mentally. 

He saw his friend Tengen and an idea came to him. Before he could even dismiss it he walked straight towards him. “Tengen, I need a date.”

The person in question looked at him briefly and could only imagine what he had been through all weekend. He was dealing with a heartbreak without being with her, poor lovebird. “Sure.” He popped the bubblegum and tapped on his phone to send him a number. “Here's one who's really sweet and wild, and she's been into you for a while. Talking about your muscular forearms since day one.”

“Tengen, I’m not looking for a quick night.”

“But maybe you should. When was the last time you got laid, bro?”

“In my last relationship.”

“Dude… That was over 2 years ago. How are your balls not blue already?”

“I don't need three women like you and I don't like one night stands. Feelings are still important to me during sex.”

“Hey, now you’re making me look like an asshole!”

He just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and then turned to his cell phone where he saved the new number and wrote to her. At the same time he bought 2 tickets for the Kyogen Theater show for Friday evening. His heart felt a little more eased as he hoped for a better tomorrow.

[eggcompany]

Hannibal is such a daddy Part 1

Doctor Hannibal Lecter is a daddy and everyone knows it. Everyone knows he is the most perfect caregiver but he has no littles of his own. But what happens when he learns Will Graham is a Little?

No one knew Will was a little. Everyone knew Hannibal was a daddy though. Everyone wanted Hannibal to be their daddy. He was brilliant, strong, handsome, and had a big house and a big nest. But no one ever saw a nursery . Or a nursing room. Or a little. 

Hannibal was known for his dinner parties. He was known to invite not only caregivers and minx (people who are neither caregivers or little) but also littles. He usually had large dinner parties where he would cook perfectly adult meals for his big guests and then in the side room that had no sharp or hard things that the small ones could get hurt on, he would serve his little meals. 

He would usually stay with the littles while everyone else ate. He would wash their faces and hands. He would help them eat and throw their trash away. He would change their diapers and put them down for naps. He would leave and serve the next course to the adults and go straight back to the littles. Usually one or two other caregivers but Hannibal never asked anyone to help. 

Everyone knew Dr. Hannibal Lecter was a daddy. But no one knew Will Graham was a little. 

No one could look around his house and know he’s a little. He had no soft colored walls or snuggly blankets or dvd collection of cartoons and Disney movies. He didn’t have a crib or sippy cups or binkies or diapers or a rocking chair. You could search his house and the only thing that might point towards him being a little is his one pair of fuzzy snuggly socks. And those were plain black. 

That was until he had met Hannibal. And Hannibal came to his house. 

“Will you have such a... are you a minx?” Hannibal said as he looked around Will’s very plain home. Will had invited Hannibal over to help on a case. 

Will just looked at Hannibal from the kitchen where he was getting them both glasses of water. Or rather cups of water since Will didn’t drink out of glass. 

“No I’m not a minx. The files on the table. There’s pictures just spread out.” Will said as he showed Hannibal to his dinner table. 

“Oh! You’re not a minx? I didn’t take you for a caregiver. Well perhaps to your dogs! They look so healthy and playful.” Hannibal said conversationally. He knew Will might just be an ace caregiver. Someone who doesn’t care for relationships but has caregiver instincts. 

“I’m not a caregiver, I just like dogs.” Will said plainly. As if he just said he had on blue socks. 

Hannibal froze. Not a minx. Not a caregiver. That meant. No it can’t be. 

“You’re a little? But you live alone and you have no. You have nothing!” Hannibal said in a fit. If Will was a little why did he not have any color of little things. Hannibal thought maybe he hid it all. 

Will sighed loudly. He knew he shouldn’t have told. Will had had a caregiver before. When he was just old enough to leave his family. She was nice and cared about his health. But she was vain and didn’t like the way he looked. She wanted to always have him waxed and when they bonded to have his body hair laser removed. He used to get in trouble for not having his everything shaved or waxed. So when she left him because he wanted his beard, he never tried to get another. 

“Yes Hannibal, I’m a little. No, I don’t have anything. I don’t really, uh,  I don’t really regress all that often. And when I do I’m not all that little.” Will tried to sound uninterested but failed. He just sounded sad. 

When he really let go he was tiny. Practically an infant. Most littles were toddler age. Dependent but not completely. Will expected Hannibal to drop it and assume, just like Jack, that he could care for himself. What he didn’t expect was- 

“Oh we’ll go ahead I’ll just be going over the case. I have a little bag in my car, would you like if I brought it for you?” Hannibal said cheerily. He just loved caring for littles. Especially if that little was Will. Hannibal already had a soft spot for the shorter man. Will looked shocked for a moment. 

“You don’t- you don’t have to put up with me right now. It’s okay you don’t need to do anything I’m just. I’m capable.” Will tried to get together a congruent thought. 

Hannibal was already walking back towards the door. He stopped and slipped off his jacket at the door. 

“Nonsense Will. I’m here, the dogs are all here, you can relax. I’ll take care of everything.” And Hannibal stepped out the door. Will stood in shock. Hannibal always acted like this. Did what he wanted. But this was different. 

No one ever did that. Just cared. Will was a capable FBI agent and teacher. He wasn’t helpless. Maybe he was. Maybe he was just helpless to Hannibal.

Will contemplated letting the doctor actually know how small he got when he regressed. It wouldn't hurt to let the doctor know… Hannibal loved littles. All littles. Will isn’t special, he’s just another little doll to feed Hannibal’s caregiving needs. 

Hannibal returned with a blue duffel bag in tow. He smiled and walked past Will to the couch. 

“Here we go! It’s just a small kind of emergency bag, but it will serve its purpose. Do you want a sippy or a blanket? Do you have wifi? I could hook up my laptop and you could watch some cartoons.” Hannibal said in a lighthearted happy way. Will just stood still and overwhelmed at the soft colorful items Hannibal pulled from the bag. Hannibal turned and saw the special agent clenching his fists and breathing quicker than he should be and came to his side. 

“Will, are you alright? Did I overwhelm you? I’m so sorry, I just got excited. I should have stayed calmer. I’m sor-” He was cut off by a low whine. 

“‘M too small for that. I’m um I’m not like most littles, Hannibal. I get too small. Now please just… just look at the damn case files.” Will said and tried to keep the tears from rolling down his face but failed miserably. Hannibal nodded and rubbed Will’s shoulder as he turned to the gorish photographs. 

Will stayed still for a few minutes before venturing a few steps closer to the white blanket that had been placed on the arm of his couch. He ran the very tips of his fingers over it, feeling the amazingly soft fabric. He looked back at Hannibal who was looking at the case files. 

Will looked at the blue sippy cup for a moment before leaning and looked down into the bag. There were diapers, pacifiers, wet wipes, and rolled up changing mats. There were snacks and water as well. He then spotted what looked like the lag of a stuffed animal. Maybe a bear or a dog. Will felt more adventurous, he was slipping, if only a bit but he was slipping just seeing the supplies. 

Will moved the pack of wet wipes over to see the stuffed animal more clearly. It was a dog. A light brown one with dark brown spots. It was made from what felt like thick flannel material and had plain black eyes and a black nose that was embroidered on. ‘This is a baby toy’ flashed through Will’s mind as he picked up the doggy. The thought was washed away by the thoughts of snuggling the small toy while he slept. Will held the dog up to his chest and petted it. He was slipping further. 

“Do you like it?” Hannibal said from the arm of the couch. Will hadn’t even noticed him in his fogged headspace. Will nodded his head and brought the toy up to his face to rub his scruffy cheek against it. Hannibal smiled and moved slowly as he dragged his bag closer to him. 

“Maybe he can sleep over here tonight. Do you want the doggy to sleep over tonight?” Hannibal said in a soft voice and looked at Will’s eyes. Will smiled and his eyes flashed up to the older man’s. Will bounced a little bit on the balls of his feet. 

“Yes pwease! I um… I wike da doggy. Hims so soft.” Will said as he rubbed the stuffed animal across his lips and nose. Will was swaying slightly. He usually didn’t walk all that much when he was little. Hannibal noticed and put his hand on Will’s upper arm. He pushed slightly, guiding the wobbly man to sit on the couch. Will happily held the toy close to his face as he plopped down onto the couch and smiled. Will chewed on his bottom lip slightly. 

“Yeah, he is soft. I saw you touching the blankie too. Do you want that too? You can have anything you want.” Hannibal said as he held the blanket and duffel bag toward the little. Will had started rubbing the toy against his lips more, almost mouthing at the dark brown ear. 

Will took a deep breath. It had been so long, too long, since he let himself relax. Since anyone had wanted to take care of him. He felt his eyes wet and just didn’t have the power to pull himself out, to make himself big. The tears started slow but after a few seconds Will was a sobbing puddle on the couch holding onto the doggy toy. 

Hannibal hurriedly sat down next to the younger man and pulled him close so the outsides of their thighs were squeezed together. Will turned and pressed his face into the expensive fabric of Hannibal’s dress shirt. Hannibal shushed and moved so Will could scoot closer to him and Hannibal could rub at the little’s back. 

“Oh Will… I know a deprived baby when I see one. Come on, let's get you all comfy. Poor baby…” Hannibal said and rocked side to side while Will started to calm a bit. When Hannibal pulled back and saw Will’s snotty tear covered face his caregiver instincts took over and his heart broke for the poor boy. 

Will pouted and sniffled and held his stuffed animal close to his chest while Hannibal reached over and grabbed the bag and blanket. Hannibal took a tissue out from a side pocket of the bag and wiped away at Will’s face. Will sat still and looked at Hannibal with big round dazed eyes. 

“You do too much Will. Too much for Jack, too much big stuff. You live in this big house with no supplies. I can’t believe it. After we have a big chat I can take you home and really take care of you.” Hannibal muttered, really more to himself than the special agent. He watched Will melt further into headspace, his shoulders relaxed, his eyes closed a bit tiredly, and he brought the doggy up to his lips again and mouth lightly at the ear. Hannibal cleaned his face with a wet wipe and dried his face with another tissue. 

“Will, baby, do you want to change? You don’t need these icky clothes on if you don’t want them. How small are you?” Hannibal asked and slipped off the couch to kneel in front of Will on the floor. Will just shifted around and looked at him with an uncomfortable look on his face. Hannibal nodded. Too small to talk. Diaper, Dummy, and  some cuddles. Thought the caregiver as he studied the boy for a moment. Will was fidgeting his toes against each other and chewing on the soft ear of the dog and drooling a bit. 

“‘lil. ‘ungry.” Will muttered, his mouth not leaving the soft fabric. Hannibal smiled. So cute! Hannibal rubbed Will’s knees and stood up. 

“Okay then Will! How about you go through that bag and you put everything you want right here.” Hannibal explained slowly and simply. He pointed and patted the cushion opposite to the duffel. Will nodded and his hands went to the duffle bag, doggy left to fall into his lap. Hannibal smiled. “I will go make you up a bottle. I can feed you while you watch some cartoons. Stay here and pick out what you want, baby.” Hannibal finished by fluffing up Will’s hair. Will made a happy little noise before shifting through the bag. 

Hannibal grabbed up a blue baby bottle, which was much larger than an actual baby’s bottle since it was made for littles, and made his way to the meager kitchen. He shook his head at the nearly empty fridge and scarce cupboards. The little had more dog food than human food. Hannibal eventually found a can of sweetened condensed milk in what looked to be an emergency cupboard. Hannibal made quick work of mixing the sweet syrupy liquid into the bottle alongside the almost expired milk he had found in the fridge. Will certainly needed the extra calories and would most likely not mind the extra sweetness. 

While Hannibal whipped up a bottle Will happily pulled all sorts of things out of the duffel bag. He smiled as he pulled out diapers and pacifiers and pulled the blankie into his lap. He dug around until he found a pair of thick fuzzy socks. Will then picked up his doggy and put it’s ear back in his mouth and wiggled his feet around some. He was small, smaller than he had been in months, years probably, but he wasn’t fully there. He was still fighting it, forcing himself to move his hands and feet and keep his motor function up. 

But the moment Hannibal came over to him flipping a bottle full of milk, he slipped. His fingers felt all gummy and loose, his tongue felt big in his mouth, and his body felt wiggly and soft. Hannibal noticed and smiled as he sat on the edge of the small couch and put the duffel bag on the floor. 

“Do you want to come sit in my lap? Want me to hold you?” Hannibal asked but Will was already struggling to wiggle over to the older man. Hannibal helped him by dragging him up to sit across his thighs and rest his back against the arm of the couch. Will smiled and thunked his head against Hannibal's solid chest. 

“Open up darling. It’s sweet, you’ll like it.” Hannibal said and Will latched onto the nipple of the bottle and sucked down the sweet milk enthusiastically. 

Hannibal smiled and felt calm. These moments always calmed him, stroked that caring need in his chest. But now was different. With Will it was always different no matter what ‘it’ was. Hannibal never felt that urge to really feel the babies though. That need to feel their heart beats, their breaths, their skin. But right now, Will in his lap getting healthy and safe off of Hannibal’s efforts, the psychiatrist felt that urge. He used the hand that wasn’t helping the baby hold onto the bottle to rub up at the artery in Will’s neck. Hannibal breathed in and out alongside Will for a moment as he counted each thump of his heart. 

When Will finished the bottle he slumped against Hannibal's chest. Which would have helped calm that urge Hannibal felt in his chest if not for the goddamned layers between them. The caregiver decided that there needed to be many less layers between them. 

“Here you sit right here for a moment. Let’s get this off of you…” Hannibal said as he slid Will off of him and to the side and slipped his flannel off once he unbuttoned it a few leaving him bare chested. Hannibal then unbuttoned his vest and undid his tie, leaving him in a plain dress shirt. Hannibal also shifted his hips up to slip his belt off. He folded up the clothes and up them on the coffee table. 

Will whined and chewed on the stuffed animal again. Hannibal smiled and hauled the baby back into his lap. Feeling his skin and seeing his chest rise and fall made Hannibal feel more satisfied with each intake. Hannibal grabbed the blanket, socks, and pacifier over to them. He pulled the fabric away from Will’s lips. 

“Here we go baby… Suck on this and I’ll put on your cozy socks. Then you can take a nice nap. I see how sleepy you are. You poor little thing, poor baby.” Hannibal mumbled as he pulled Will’s feet up and slipped the socks on and unrolled the soft blanket. 

Hannibal laid back and Will nuzzled a bit into his chest, relishing in the warmth that seeped into his bare skin. Soon Hannibal felt Will’s breathing slow and even. Soon enough Hannibal decided Will would be coming to his home more frequently. How could he not have noticed this perfect baby hiding away for so long...

Next Chapter ->

[nocturius8015ficore]

Fanfiction #10: Duty, sir!

Nocturius: 10th Republic Commando fanfiction! I know, it looked like you have skipped a few, it's just that one is fresh from the oven and I though you folks would want to read a comforting one today. All my ficts readable independently anyway.

Enjoy!

---

Title: Duty, sir!

Fandom: Star Wars Republic Commando books by Karen Traviss

Characters: Null ARC trooper Captain Ordo and RC-8015 ''Fi''

Rating: Family-friendly ** better if you know the book or are familiar with the characters**

Topic: Solidarity, Hope.

Pitch: Omega squad are on a off-duty break on Coruscant. Ordo called Fi in his office for a private talk.

----

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

Duty, sir!

by Fi-Core/Nocturius

Somewhere between Triple Zero and True Colors

Arca Company Barracks, Triple Zero (Coruscant)

After the black op on Coruscant where they pretended to be on leave, Omega Squad didn’t have a lot of proper days off. Getting back on Triple Zero mostly meant for them, getting quick fixes with bacta, updating their HUDs with new perks and replacing damaged equipment. Sometimes they had a proper debriefing with General Zey and his aid, Alpha ARC trooper Captain Maze, but it was usually Ordo’s who collected Niner’s reports. By the same occasion, they could exchange some very off-grid intel. Love letters for Darman and Atin, snacks from Kal Skirata and Bardan Jusik.

Niner usually kept himself busy with familiarizing himself with updating procedures and getting ready for the next mission, Fi, on the other hand, didn’t have much to do. No girlfriends to wait for him, or care, he felt pretty lonely during those times. Which was also a perfect occasion to annoy Ordo with his endless blathering.

Fi never fully understood why the Null ARC trooper tolerated him. That’s true, Ordo saw Fi saving a bunch of police officers on Coruscant a couple months ago but that didn’t explain why he let the vein on his forehead pulsate with irritation. The commando’s intuition was usually good about guessing when to stop pushing buttons  but with the Null, it was hard to predict.

That’s why when Fi received a direct message on his ‘pad from his brother, he didn’t know what to think about. The Null asked him to talk…privately. 

‘’ Wanna see me alone Captain? Should I have brought flowers and chocolate for this secret date? ’’ Fi said, joking his way into the private quarter and testing the water. 

‘’ ‘Wouldn't mind the snacks, ner vod. Want some caf? ‘’

‘’ Sure! Can you draw a cute tooka-cat in the milk? I love when people make fun patterns in their drinks! ’’

‘’ No snacks, no fun patterns.’’ Ordo answered, deadpan.

‘’ ‘Will remember that for next time! So… How can I help? ’’

‘‘Sit. Please.’’

‘’Okay… ’’

Ordo poured a very hot and high quality smelling jug of caf, gave one mug to his brother and took a sip in his before developing.

‘’ I would like to ask you how do you cope. ‘’

Fi looked at the Null ARC with wide eyes. Clearly, he didn’t expect that question.

‘’ What do you mean? ’’

‘’ I’m not asking, how are you today, I’m asking you how you manage to stay cheery and smiling all the time. I see how you are with your squad. Always lifting them up.‘’

The commando stopped playing with the spoon in his mug and looked at the wall, slightly unfocused. 

‘’ I just do, Captain. I have to keep going.’’ he said with a tone of voice that was not entirely convincing.’’

‘’ I wish I could learn to be more carefree. ‘’

‘’ Oh.’’ Fi said,  tasting his drink appreciatively. ‘’ ‘Telling you the truth sir, I am not. Quite the opposite. I care a lot. ‘’ 

‘’ So. How do you cope then? ’’

The trooper stood up and walked a few steps in the room, his face showing a very neutral expression. 

‘’ I don’t. ‘’

‘’ Vod.’’

Not knowing what to do, the Null also stood up and joined the commando on his side of the office. 

‘’ I know I have some gaps in understanding social cues, but I had no idea… ‘’ he said softly.

‘’ Because I’m good at masking it. Remember Kamino? I couldn't afford looking all sad and moody, what would have happened to me? Depressed clones are not fit for duty. ‘’

‘’ I know that.’’

‘’ What I truly feel doesn’t matter to anyone. ‘’

‘’ It matters to me and to Kal’buir. ’’ 

‘’ And to my squad I suppose. That’s why I don’t want to be a burden for them. If I can make them smile, at least I can help them in a way. We all lost our pod squad. We are a patchwork one, as Delta would say.’’ 

‘’ Delta are di’kute. They don’t understand what you lads have been through.’’

‘’ I still don’t wish any of them to go missing. It feels like… I’ve lost a part of myself in Geonosis.’’ 

‘’ I don’t know how I would react if I was to lose one of my five close brothers, Kal… or you. Please stop calling me sir and Captain between us, just call me Ordo or vod.’’

‘’ Thanks then… I didn’t know I was counting this much for you.’’ 

They both stayed in silence for a while, drinking awkwardly till Fi finished his caf.

‘’ It’s not that I lie or pretend to be cheery you know… I just want you to know that. I do it because it’s who I am. My duty sort of speaks. Who will make the squad smile in the darkest hour if not me? How can I expect to have something to look forward to if not the next joke popping in my mind to have a laugh? Without those funny bits in our lives, we have nothing left as a being. ‘’

Ordo took a deep breath and looked his brother in the eyes for a long moment. 

‘’I think I have some leftover biscuits. Want me to share with you? Want more caf? ‘’

‘’ Certainly! Let me draw a fun pattern in the milk then! I’m not a super barista artist, but I can manage to make my ideas understandable. ‘’

‘’ Help yourself. ‘’ said the Captain. Fi drew something with the spoon and put some extra spices tactically. Then he turned to his bigger brother with a sparkle in the eyes. ‘’ That’s no cute tooka-cats… That’s a fierfek d* …’’

‘’ … And fit for duty, sir! I mean, Ordo! ‘’ He interrupted him and smiled mischievously.

End

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

[faerunsbest]

Can we think about Cal? Do you ever think Cal is a kind of jealous?

Rolan finds himself rather surprised to see Cal so disheveled and out of sorts. Sitting at the blushing mermaid of all places, near empty mug in hand as he stares out into space. he moves to tap it on the bartop for a refill but is surprised to see a very worried Rolan reach out to place his hand over it. Without a word he pays Cal's tab and motions for him to get up, Rolan's mouth sets into a strong frown when he has to reach out and steady him.

As much as he wants to be angry to yell about what the hell he was thinking and so on, he finds himself looking a deep guilt that seems to have bloomed on Cal's face. Rolan grips one of Cal's shoulders and places his hand on the other forearm. he keeps him steady all the way to the door where the hold is sloppily batted away. Now Rolan walks carefully beside his brother reaching out to steady him and pull away again.

"Cal whats going on?"

Rolan is careful to nudge his brother who seems to just be walking with no particular destination into the path of the tower.

"How did you do it?"

Cal seems to have weighed the words for a moment before just blurting them.

"do what?"

"Would you be mad?"

Rolan works his jaw, brow set in a deep knot as he struggles to make sense of his brothers blurred voice. he keeps his hands up just enough.

"I doubt it- tell me. Go on tell me anything- I wont get mad."

Cal looks over at him guilt, shame and a deep sadness clouding his features.

"Sometimes... i think about it and I get jealous. I get jealous of you i guess."

"What could you be jealous of? Everything I have is ours- it is I swear it."

Cal huffs, letting himself be gently herded home.

"No, not that the stuff- of you. How you did it- you..."

Cal raised his hands, opening and closing his fists in front of his chest as though he could just grasp the words he searched for.

"You just stayed you- no matter what. You have all this- WE have all this because of you."

Cal glanced around not sure when they had got home, but allowed himself to be guided to seat at the kitchen table. Rolan placing a glass of water in front of him.

"What do you mean?"

"I was watching them today... and they asked things i should know. whats my favorite food, color...drink and i don't know. I don't know anymore. I feel like i forgot me, but you didn't... you stayed you no matter what."

Rolan felt a weight drop in his chest as Cal seemed to struggle to put his thoughts to words.

"You just where there and all the time we just knew, we'd be okay cause you where there. When dad left... I don't think mom was as scared as she could have been cause she wasn't alone not really. and then she was gone and it never..."

his voice cracked and warbled as a million different thoughts and memories fluttered through his muddy mind. With a small gasp he wiped at his face, refusing to meet Rolan's gaze.

"It never occurred to us how bad that was- what it meant more than losing mom. That's what we dealt with and you - you dealt with that and EVERYTHING else. We weren't scared about having nowhere to go or not eating because you where there and you stayed."

Cal clenched his jaw pressing his teeth together trying to put the words right.

"Everyone else got lost when we had to leave, we kept walking and didn't have the same choices as before so i just kept forgetting the things i did, or wanted to do. You didn't you told us over and over that you would be great, a wizard and you focused and stayed that way and YOU DID IT!"

Cal suddenly sat up whirling about to face Rolan.

"Look at it! It's ours because NOTHIN GODS DAMMIT could make you forget you."

That last part said low, almost a whisper as Cal looked away again. Near behind them Rolan heard a small shift, leaning in the kitchen doorway Lia watched with concern.

"How do you do that?"

Rolan worked his jaw, desperate to keep his eyes from burning at the sad image his poor brother made.

"I just want to be someone you guys can be proud of... that's it... that's all I ever wanted to be."

Cal just looked at him as if he couldn't believe him. Rolan swallowed the lump forming in his throat

"I guess... when everyone left their everything behind... they lost their whole world. I got to bring the only parts of my life that ever mattered."

Without warning the dam that Cal had been struggling with burst and he sobbed, leaning his forehead on Rolan's shoulder. Rolan held him close and tight and right then he remembered Cal being so much smaller. Remembered all the time unknowable noises made him too nervous to go the bathroom alone at night.

When Finally Cal had calmed, Rolan waved a hand and beneath them a portal opened. With a light puff Cal landed on his back in his bed. Rolan tugged the blankets about him before going to make sure there was a tall pitcher of water and glass on the bedside table.

Once finished with his work he paused to look around the room, the walls where still bare. Nothing on display on the ornate shelves, sitting in the corner untouched was a near busted shield and the splinted handle of a weapon that had broken on their way to the gate.

When finally Rolan stepped out of the room, gently shutting the door behind he found Lia. Before he could say anything he found her against him, arms over his shoulders, a rare thing to hug so tightly.

Cal was right, Rolan never forgot a damn thing. He remembered all the times they needed to be held like this. When finally they separated, Lia stayed for a moment thinking carefully.

"It really is because of you and I tell everyone all the time... you know?"

She gave a small awkward smile before heading off to her own room.

[ronyasha17]

Unexpected / Chankwan

Pairing: Chan x Seungkwan

Word count: 1365

Genre: fluff, cute, christmas, au

His cold hands were warming inside his pockets. He should have worn warmer clothes, but it hadn't been so windy a few hours ago, and he realized he'd been tricked as soon as he took his hands out of his pockets.

But he wouldn't go too far. He would have stood it.

***

As he walked down the street, he noticed that there was no one in the area. But it wasn't creepy, but it was very colorful thanks to the typical Christmas garlands decorating it here and there.

Chan wasn't happy. The last thing on his face was a smile.

But he wasn't angry or sad. Christmas was just another day for him.

He couldn't drink yet, but he was going to anyway. No one saw him because he lived alone. What can happen?

He walked home at a slow pace. It seemed that the last thing he wanted to do was walk to his destination because of his downcast gaze.

Anyway, he kept walking. He didn't want to go anywhere else either.

And even if he was very distracted, it would be impossible not to pay attention to the body lying on the floor in front of him.

He was not far from his home when he encountered this scene, which made him freeze for a moment. He didn't know what to do and had already thought about it in case it happened, but in his imagination, or rather, in the scene he imagined, there were a lot of people around him. He never imagined himself alone.

He went over to the body and examined it in detail to see if it had any serious injuries or a serious wound.

Fortunately for him—and no matter how nervous he was—there were no traces. But his face looked like it had been hit hard several times. There was a scratch on his arm, but there was nothing else to worry about. He checked to see if he was breathing, and yes, he was breathing.

He did not hesitate and tried to call for help. Soon he remembered that he had not taken his mobile phone with him, leaving it at home, and shouted several times.

But after a few minutes, no one showed up.

He waited a little longer, and he had no choice but to carry the guy home. There he could call one of his relatives if he felt better.

His body was heavy, but he could carry it without dropping it.

For the first time, he felt like a strong man.

As soon as he arrived, he gently lowered him onto his couch. It didn't take him long to get a first aid kit and a glass of water. This was the first time he had helped a person in this way.

He knew that now was not the time, but he took the opportunity to examine it in detail. He was cute, and he seemed to have very delicate skin.

He didn't know why, but he was worried that the neck was too closed for him. He decided to undress only the upper part of his body, he did not check this part. There was nothing there, not even the marks of a beating.

But all of a sudden, as soon as he opened his eyes, he screamed.

And it was quite understandable. Imagine that you wake up and realize that you are being undressed, and next to you a stranger is looking so intently at your stomach.

He tried to calm him down as best he could and told him what happened when he found him. And he, desperately covering his body, agreed to tell, because he had saved him and he could be trusted.

He was a man who easily trusted others, so Chan thought when he saw how quickly he started talking.

"I was robbed," he said, on the verge of tears.

Chan felt pity and at the same time sympathy for him. He didn't know what to do, and just patted him on the back a couple of times to cheer him up.

— And your parents? — that was the first thing he asked. It was important, and it was almost eleven o'clock.

— They don't know. And it would be better if they didn't know, because the mobile phone that was stolen from me is not cheap at all," he said, his voice trembling a little. After a few seconds, he started laughing because the TV turned on and they were showing Peppa pig on it. Chan was stunned, but he smiled.

— How are you feeling?

— My whole body hurts. I don't know, maybe they kept hitting me because I lost consciousness," he said, sighing. — I don't know.

Chan laughed at how he downplayed what could be considered the most important thing.

"I tried to defend myself, but there were three or four of them," he said, treating wounds on his forehead and cheeks. — I don't want to go back to my house. Besides, I'm sure they didn't even notice my absence.

Chan nodded, listening, but at the same time concentrating on his work.

— Although now that I think about it, I do not know, because I do not have a mobile phone, and maybe they called me. There was a short silence in which neither of them felt uncomfortable. — What's your name? He asked with a very small smile.

— Chan, what about you?

—Seungwan," he smiled now, "do you live alone?"

Chan nodded and replied in a whisper. He didn't really like living alone, but his parents were far away, and he only needed to focus on his studies and pay for some things.

— And you're going to spend Christmas... ? Alone? Seungwan immediately regretted asking the question as his expression changed.

— Yes, but it doesn't matter.

— It matters. It should be the day you meet your relatives, or I do not know...

"But I can't," Seungwan pouted, not knowing what to say. But after a few seconds, it dawned on him.

"Look what I've brought," he said happily. But when he tried to feel for his backpack on his back, he realized that there was nothing there. — My backpack!

— Oh, your backpack is there, on the chair. You were wearing it, but it was open.

Seungwan ran up to him and checked what was lying there. Nothing was stolen.

"Thanks, Chan, — he said, breathing a sigh of relief. Then he started looking for something. "I took dessert with me because I knew I'd get hungry at some point,— he continued. — I was going to go to a friend's house, but then this happened.

Chan didn't say anything, but gave him his full attention.

— If you want... We can eat it together. It made him blush. He had never said anything like this before, much less to a stranger. But it seemed nice to him. — I've been told many times that you need to trust strangers less. But I know there are still good people left," he said, opening the dessert. Two large chocolates and juice. — Just like you, Chan.

Until this day, which was supposed to be his first, he had never known what it was like to spend Christmas without his family. But he never imagined that he would spend such a special day with a man he didn't even know.

Nevertheless, it was a very cozy and pleasant company. He was very cheerful and made him feel less lonely—besides, the strange but wonderful dessert he was carrying made him feel even better.

He felt so good that he offered to take him home when it was almost midnight.

Seungwan kissed him on the cheek and hurried home. He didn't have to ask for his phone number, because he didn't live that far away, and besides, he remembered the streets well.

And next week, Seungwan already had a new plan.

Soon, he was going to pay an unexpected visit to the one who had once saved him.

From the author:

The mention of Peppa pig was the first thing that came to my mind, I swear.

[sylvia-und-sybille]

💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it’ll have when it’s done? 2.3K+ now, and whatever happens, that happens.

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP? 3 days.

📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone? AU location (starts as) and aged-up characters.

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV? OTP only. Even as 3rd person's point of view there's little of point of view at all (as thoughts or just about a person alone.)

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP? OTP talk & do things together.

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar? It can happen in 0.001% of cases (if, then fanfictions only.)

📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it’s done? Posted, printed, published, etc? Posted only.

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Romance, as it's about a lot of love (as in every fanfiction about them.)

🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Humour. Unfortunately, no funny moments.

🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing? So (for years.) If exaggerate, the answer is, so what? So to be it. | Whenever possible, I try to find other way to glue parts of looong sentences and not to break them into shorter ones. The writer of the original version had looong sentences as well and paragraphs can seem almost endless in many cases.

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP? EVERY SINGLE of my fanfictions & original stories has happy end (unless past when I wanted to write about harm done to or defeat of a bad or unpleasant character.) In the case of latest WIP fanfiction: deep sadness of both, character 2: wish to cry before relief, no harm.

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it? They would look forward to a plot twist (mostly character 2, as character 1 had an idea.)

‍🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be? Rainbow, as they deserve.

🍩 [Donut] What’s the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What’s the best thing? No food or drinks are mentioned (yet?)

🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP? No, and I almost don't know people in real life. Yes, I'm so called "live under a rock."

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence. At first, the two are icebergs, but very, very soon, nothing is under water . . . (They talk about character 1 as having an iceberg, so . . .) . . . positive plot twist, philosophical discussion, something else unexpected (positive again.) (Note: something else is before plot twist, though. | I've had to search for answers to at least understand how such description can be possible.)

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for? What does it mean even? If as not accepted, one of important parts is gender non-conformity. Those who are against girls & women who don't look feminine can be highly displeased. BUT what can I say, the version the fanfiction is based on has scenes with character 2 in man's shirt. So yes, haters can hate as long as they want.

UPDATE a day after: I've had an idea (chapter 2, not one-shot as it was planned initially) which is the reason to "get cancelled on Twitter," but I don't care. The idea supposed to be a part of some future fanfiction (no matter which, but based on the modern version of the story,) but the wish to add this to the current one was too strong, so it will be here :D The first chapter discussed above has two plot twists, but this idea is an enormous plot twist. Second plot twist & new one will result in (in my opinion, at least) it's too good to be true | unrealistic, but I don't care. I want this to exist, so it will.

Random WIP Ask Game

💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it'll have when it's done?

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP?

📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone?

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV?

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP?

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar?

📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it's done? Posted, printed, published, etc?

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)

🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)

🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing?

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP?

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it?

‍🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be?

🍩 [Donut] What's the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What's the best thing?

🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP?

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence.

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for?

[gilthairpins]

Book 2 Chapter 13: Colorful Flowers Bloom Everywhere

“Ruoxi, be obedient. Get up and drink some porridge.”

I closed my eyes and ignored him.

Yinzhen sighed, “I know you are sad, Ruoxi. But if you stay silent all day how can your sister be at peace in the underworld?”

My heart ached so much that I opened my eyes and stared at him. “Will you let me take my sister home, to the northwest?” I asked.

“Ruoxi, I have promised you everything I can, but this is absolutely not possible.” He said. I closed my eyes and ignored him.

He continued, “I removed your sister from the royal family genealogy and allowed her to be buried in the northwest. I even gave your father a verbal order to bury your sister secretly with Chang Qingshan. I have done everything I can, Ruoxi.”

“Why can’t you let me send my sister back? It’ll only take a little over a month, it’s not a big deal.” I begged in a low voice.

Yinzhen was silent for a while and the put his hands on my face. “Because I am afraid. I’m afraid that when you return to the northwest you won’t come back.” I looked into his eyes, our gaze reflecting each other.

“I know that you, like your sister, do not like the Forbidden City. I’m afraid that if you return the land that you dream of, your heart will never come back. Ruoxi, don’t go back to the northwest.” He said.

There was a hint of fragility in his eyes that made me nod my head.

“Get up and eat something.” He said happily.

I helped him sit up by taking his hand. “I wonder how Qiaohui is doing in Thirteenth’s manor.”

“Thirteenth is very careful and tactful in his work, without making any mistakes.” He said.

“Of course! I know that Thirteenth will take good care of Qiaohui. I’m just worried about her.” I said. “I’m worried about her mood. She and my sister grew up together and depended on each other for many years. When my sister left, she was left alone. There was no reason for her to remain in Eighth’s manor. She returned home to my father’s house because of my aunt. But Qiaohui herself didn’t want to go back. After losing her relatives and suddenly going to the unfamiliar Thirteenth’s manor, I’m afraid that only outsiders can understand the pain and confusion.”

While we were talking, Cheng Huan poked her head out from behind a curtain. Without waiting for Yinzhen’s permission, she rushed in and hugged my legs, shouting, “Aunt, are you feeling any better?”

Cheng Huan’s affection and love were all over her face and my heart warmed. I smiled and pulled her to sit on a stool. “Much better!”

She pouted and looked at Yinzhen. “Royal uncle refused to let me see my aunt these days. Saying that she was sad and needed to rest. But you smiled as soon as you saw me!”

She helped me pick up a bunch of dishes with a fawning look on her face. “Aunt, will you feel less sad when you see Cheng Huan?” She stared at me expectantly after saying this.

I smiled and nodded. “I won’t feel sad when I see Cheng Huan.”

Cheng Huan shouted loudly to Yinzhen, “Did the Emperor hear you? You can’t stop me from seeing my aunt in the future!”

Yinzhen stared at us with tenderness in his eyes and nodded with a smile. With Cheng Huan’s sweet voice and jokes, I ate half a bowl more of rice than usual without realizing it. Yinzhen praised Cheng Huan and Cheng Huan looked at me as if I were the cutest person in the world. Yinzhen and I couldn’t help but laugh.

In the evening, after bathing, I put on a moon white shirt with magnolia flowers embroidered with silver thread on the cuffs. I casually tied my hair up and used a hairpin to hold it in place. I was just cutting the candle flames when Yinzhen lifted the curtain to come in.

“So early! Have you finished reading the memorials?” I asked in wonder.

He looked at me with a smile, but didn’t say anything. His eyes were as gentle as water, layer upon layer, thread by thread, winding me into his net little by little. My heartbeat suddenly sped up and I stared at him for a long time, before turning my head away and pretending to leave.

As I put down my scissors, I caught a glimpse of my flushed face in the mirror.

He hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear, “I want you!”

My mind went blank, my body was stiff, and then a wave of hot and cold washed through me. He put his hand under my armpit and unbuttoned my clothes. I turned around, suddenly facing him, my hands on his chest, breathing heavily.

He stared at me for a while, a slight frown in his brow. Suddenly he smiled and said, “Don’t be afraid. We’ll take it slowly, and make sure you are willing.”

I watched him nervously.

He bowed his head in thought for a while before asking, “Ruoxi, do you still remember the agreement between us? To be honest with each other?”

I remembered the word ‘want’ that he had said so casually many years ago and my heart warmed up. There was a hint of smile to my face. I nodded.

He also smiled and said, “Then tell me, what can I do to make you not resist? Ever since you moved into Yangxin Palace, I have always felt that you are both close to me and resist me. So I’ve been reluctant to take you, wanting to wait until you are close and not resisting. But today, when I saw Cheng Huan and you smiling at each other, I didn’t want to wait any longer. I want you to give birth to children for me, I want to see you laughing with them. That is the happiness in my heart.”

My mind suddenly became confused. I resisted because I knew the ending of everyone before me. Even though you are so gentle, I am still afraid to face your cruelty in the future.

After weighting the whole thing, I couldn’t accept it emotionally when I thought of Eighth, Tenth, and Fourteenth.

“I want to be Empress.” I said unreasonably.

He frowned, then immediately relaxed his brow. “Are you trying to piss me off on purpose?” He asked calmly.

I turned around and sat on a chair. “I just want to be empress.”

He walked up to me and said, “I know you don’t really want this. Even if I agree to it now, you will never accept it. But I promised to be honest with you, so I can only tell you that no matter whether you really want it or not, I cannot agree to this. The Empress and I have stood together since childhood. She is gentle and has a serious temperament and has never overstepped the boundaries. Moreover, her child died young and she has had no children since then. The position of empress is her protection. I cannot hurt her again.”

“Then, you’re not allowed to summon concubine Nian again.”

He took a deep breath. “I can’t agree to this either, Ruoxi. Please don’t deliberately make things difficult for me.”

I raised my chin slightly and asked with a mocking smile, “You can’t promise me this and you can’t promise me that. So what can you promise me? What can you give me?

He stared at me blankly for a long time, his eyes gradually becoming sad. He slowly squatted down and held my hands and placed his head on my knees. “Ruoxi, even though I am the Emperor, I still have many ties and cannot do whatever I want. I am cruel to myself most of the time. Sometimes I ask myself what do I have? Thirteenth was imprisoned for ten years for me. He could kill a tiger alone back then, but now he is weakened. He is younger than I but weaker than me. You are no better than him. I often dare not think about these things carelessly. I am actually very scared. What do I have? What I have now is the whole world, but you don’t value it at all. All I can give you is my heart. I want you to accompany me in this Forbidden City that seems to be full of people but is empty. You can understand some of the things that I may never be able to tell anyone in my life.”

He looked up at me and continued, “I haven’t conferred a title on you yet because I want to see you all the time. Once you have a title, you will have to live in your own palace and if I want to see you, I have to turn over a token and send a eunuch to summon you. Right now, you and I can see each other every day. Do you understand?”

I nodded silently.

“If you are worried about disputes in the harem in the future, I can assure you that I will never let such a thing happen. Even if someone wants to deal with you, I will definitely deal with it before you notice.” He said.

I bit my lip and said nothing. He stared at me and said, “I can manage thousands of officials in the Qing Dynasty. Can’t I manage a few concubines in the harem? I know their temperaments and methods. There are several reasons for disputes in the harem history. Some are because the emperor is weak and has no ability to manage; some are because the harem disputes represent conflicts of interest in the court, and the emperor is only willing to watch them fight and restrain each other and is unwilling to manage; some are simply too lazy to manage. But I will definitely manage it. I ordered people to beat a palace maid to death. In fact it was to kill a chicken to scare the monkey, so that the concubines in the harem understand that no matter who it is, if they secretly want to inquire about and interfere in my affairs, I will never let them go easily!”

“Are you going to reject me, Ruoxi?” He asked me, looking up. His expression was gentle and at first glance his eyes seemed to be filled with a hint of helplessness and hesitation, like a child.

My heart ached and I slid from the chair to kneel on the ground and hugged him tightly.

He chuckled a bit and suddenly picked me up from the ground. I was anxious and embarrassed. “Why are you so impatient? I’m not ready yet!” I whispered.

He smiled and said, “You are a person who can be quick witted when things are pressing, but you always hesitate and find it difficult to make a decision when doing things in normal times. Tonight, you promised me, but you may become hesitant again after a good sleep. I’d better pick the flowers when they are ready!” As he said this, he placed me on the bed.

I was nervous and scared with a faint expectation. I was also a little embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t dare breathe. I just closed my eyes tightly and felt him kissing my earlobe while unbuttoning my coat.

The cold weather faded, and the Old Summer Palace is full of greenery and colorful flowers. The birds also were singing very hard. Their melodious voices full of spring.

Yinzhen, Thirteenth, and I walked together. Perhaps because of the endless spring in the garden, Thirteenth looked very good and he chatted with Yinzhen with a smile on his face. Yinzhen also was in a particularly good mood during this period and his eyes were often warm.

I followed them quietly, occasionally hearing their low laughter and feeling an indescribable warmth in my heart.

Yinzhen would occasionally glance back at me as if he were afraid that I would disappear. When Thirteenth saw me, his face darkened slightly, but he quickly hid it, raising his eyebrows at me and looked between me and Yinzhen with a half smile. That familiar smile made my eyes sore. I almost cried.

The sounds of children’s laughter and singing could be heard from afar. It was such a pure and clear happiness that we both followed the sound, but I frowned along with my smile.

Thirteenth listened carefully for a bit and said, “What are they singing? The tune sounds strange.”

Yinzhen smiled and said, “It’s probably Protestant. Do you remember the songs we sang when we were young?”

“I remember them all.” Thirteenth smiled.

Yinzhen was surprised. “You remember all of them? I only remember two or three.” I couldn’t help but ask, “Which songs do you remember? Sing them for me.”

Yinzhen looked quite strange for a moment. Thirteenth covered his mouth with his fist and coughed a few times, but couldn’t hide his grin. “Thirteenth, if you have something to be happy about, don’t be happy alone!” I said

Thirteenth grinned and glanced at Yinzhen. “I dare not tell you. If you want to know, we can talk about it in private later.”

“You don’t dare to say it!? Hurry up and say it. I’ll feel more at ease if you say it in front of me. Otherwise, I don’t know what you will say in private!” Yinzhen scolded while laughing.

Although his tone was resentful, he was genuinely happy. He and Thirteenth had finally started to joke like before. Though this was the only occasion, Thirteenth still had to abide by the strict rules most of the time. But Yinzhen was already satisfied.

He was glad that Thirteenth was in better spirits than when he was first released last year. He was glad that Thirteenth still regarded him as his intimate fourth brother in his heart, fourth brother who couldn’t follow the rules.

Thirteenth glanced at me and asked, “Have you ever heard my brother sing?” I shook my head.

“You’ll know if you can get the emperor to sing for you once, but I’m afraid it’s difficult.” He said with a grin.

I smiled at Yinzhen who appeared nonchalant. “It doesn’t sound at all like it would sound good.”

Thirteenth laughed and then sighed, “Alas! It’s not that it sounds good or bad, but…” he paused and stared at Yinzhen smiling.

“Go on.” Yinzhen laughed drily.

“One year for Royal Father’s birthday, I was still young at the time, I remembered Third playing a song and my brother sang to please the Emperor in order to suit the occasion. As a result when we young ones heard the song, we immediately covered our ears. Fourteenth even hid under the table. My brothers frowned and tried to hold back their laughter. Only Royal Father smiled and listen to him finish the song. As soon as he finished singing the whole audience burst into cheers. We clapped our hands on the table to celebrate. That night, even Third’s superb zither skills didn’t make everyone applaud and cheer so loudly. My Emperor brother was the best!” Thirteenth said.

I covered my mouth and laughed. “In that case, I really need to find the chance to listen!”

Thirteenth smiled. “Since then, whenever we heard that the Emperor wanted to sing, we would immediately run away. It’s a pity that we only heard it once in so many years! If the Emperor wants to sing again, please inform me!”

Yinzhen stared ahead calmly and continued to walk slowly. Thirteenth and I shared a look and grinned at each other.

Cheng Huan was sitting on the swing and Hongli was pushing her. Beside them were several sons of princes and ministers who had studied with Hongli, Hongtun (Thirteenth’s son), and several little princesses. Some were swinging on swings, while others were sitting on the grass and laughing.

The three of us hid in the bushes and watched them with glee. A pretty little palace maid happened to pass by. She greeted everyone and left. Hongli watched her go and forgot to push Cheng Huan. Cheng Huan glanced back at him with a sneaky glance and then at the palace maid who was walking away and burst into laughter. Everyone laughed along with her.

I smiled, pursing my lips. Hongli will be twelve by August, which is a good age for romance in ancient times.

Thirteenth smiled and sighed, “We who were on the swing back then, now our hair is all gray. Looking at them, I feel like they are myself from back then.”

I smiled at Thirteenth. “Could it be that our suave Thirteenth has also done such a thing as staring at girls’ backs?” Thirteenth stared at the playful children with a faint smile on his face.

“Is it true or not? Tell me the secret.” I whispered to Yinzhen. He smiled and said nothing.

Hongli was a bit annoyed and stared at everyone angrily. “Don’t laugh!”

The others didn’t dare laugh, but lowered their heads to hold back their laughter. Cheng Huan laughed all the more. He tried to cover her mouth and she jumped off the swing and ran, making faces at him. “Fourth likes a little palace maid! Fourth likes a little palace maid!”

Hongli was so anxious that he ran after her, but Cheng Huan was very clever and kept circling the crowd. Although he ran faster, he couldn’t catch her and his face became red with anxiety.

Yinzhen frowned. I glanced at him and walked over to Thirteenth. “When the Emperor was still just Fourth, did he have sex with any of the palace maids or serving girls?”

Thirteenth just laughed and pushed me back to Yinzhen. “Brother, she just asked about your private life!”

Yinzhen smiled faintly and I blushed, lowering my head. Thirteenth shook his head, grinning. “My brother has always been cold and stern since young. The Emperor said he was taciturn and difficult to get close to. Girls would avoid him when they saw him and he didn’t like socializing with people. When I was young I remember that Fifth and Eighth were the most popular. The princes and princesses outside were all happy to play with them.”

A clear song sounded and we all looked over. Cheng Huan was running and singing loudly to Hongli:

On the banyan tree beside the pond, cicadas are calling out for summer. On the swing beside the bushes, only butterflies are resting on it. In the classroom, the teacher’s mouth is still chirping away. Waiting for the end of class, waiting for school to end, waiting for the time to play.

There is everything outside the Forbidden City, but you cannot leave the palace at will. Guan Yu and Qin Qiong, who is more powerful? Why hasn’t the little palace maid I saw yesterday passed by my window? The history of the master, the tattered book in his hand, the hazy feeling in his heart.

I always have to wait until my father asks me before I know that I have only done a little homework. I always have to wait until after an exam before I knew that I have not read the books I should have read. Time is money, and the teacher said that money cannot buy time. Day after day, year after year, the hard time.

Dragonflies fly over in the sunshine, and there are patches of green lotus ponds. The beauty of the Forbidden City cannot compare to the rainbow in the sky. When can I be like my older brothers and marry a wife and concubines? I look forward to the end of school, to leaving the palace and to growing up. Day after day, year after year, I look forward to growing up.

Yinzhen and Thirteenth looked at me with a mixture of surprise, amusement, and helplessness.

“I have to consider taking Cheng Huan back. If I let her follow you around, I don’t know what she can do. Does she understand what she is singing?” Thirteenth sighed.

I laughed and said, “When you really understand it, it would be impossible to sing that with such a clear and cheerful voice.”

“You keep talking, Master! The tattered book in your hand? Marrying wives and concubines? What else did you teach them?” Yinzhen scolded.

I smiled and tilted my head, “I didn’t teach anything. Just singing songs and telling stories.”

Thirteenth buried his face in his hands and said gloomily, “I will ask Cheng Huan carefully later. I’m afraid your stories cannot be like Kong Rong giving up his pears or Sima Guang smashing the jar.”

I smiled but said nothing. Yinzhen listened to the song attentively. Suddenly a trace of unhappiness flashed across his eyes. He glanced at me and said lightly, “The beauty of the Forbidden City cannot be compared to the rainbow in the sky. Are you looking forward to leaving the palace?”

Thirteenth quickly changed the subject and said, “Let’s go! If they see us now it will spoil their fun.”

Yinzhen nodded slightly and Thirteenth walked forward. He didn’t move, holding my hand and steadily staring at me. I smiled as I held his other hand. “Why are you so serious? It’s just a song lyric.” I glanced back at Thirteenth who had his back to us and quickly stood on tiptoe, kissing him quickly. I stood back as though nothing had happened.

He quickly glanced at the playing children. Finding no one paying attention he stared at me in frustration, smiling. I raised my chin slightly and watched him with a smile. He nodded and whispered with infinite ambiguity, “Let’s settle the score tonight!”

My previous arrogance suddenly disappeared. I shook off his hand and quickly chased after Thirteenth. I only heard his low voice in smile behind me, “You’re always a paper tiger. You can be broken when poked, but you have many tricks. If I really wanted to fight you with a real sword you’d just…”

Thirteenth was right in front of me. I felt anxious and embarrassed. I turned to glare at him. He just shook his head and smiled without saying any more.

Although Cheng Huan lives in the Empress’ Palace, she always spends most of the day by my side. I also like to be with her and teach her various games.

Cheng Huan was digging in the mud to build a castle, her skirt was already stained and even now her face was stained with a few specks of black mud. She, herself, didn’t care at all and I cared even less.

She turned her head to look at me sitting under the willow tree and asked, “Aunt, do the princesses you talked about live in those houses like this and wait for people to rescue them?” I glanced at them casually and nodded. I lowered my head and stared blankly.

I heard Cheng Huan timidly call, “Father!” and looked up. Thirteenth was silently studying Cheng Huan. She stood in the mud, hiding her hands behind her back nervously. I sighed in my heart. The children were a little afraid of the cold faced Yinzhen, but Cheng Huan threw herself into his arms when she saw him. On the contrary, everyone was not afraid of the smiling Yunxiang. Cheng Huan always seemed to be a different person when she saw him.

Thirteenth stared at Cheng Huan, sadness flashed across his expression and he looked gloomy. Cheng Huan ran to me. She hid behind me and called out, “Auntie!”

I smiled at her and said, “Go back to the momo to wash your face and change your skirt.” Cheng Huan was over joyed and glanced at Thirteenth, who didn’t react, and quickly ran away.

“Cheng Huan hasn’t been by your side in a very long time, so it’s understandable that she is unfamiliar with you. Why didn’t you take her back home? After a while, father and daughter will naturally get to know each other and become close.” I said.

Thirteenth lowered his head and was silent for a very long time before saying, “No need. I’m afraid that even if I bring her back home, I don’t dare face her daily.”

I sighed inwardly. Cheng Huan and Lu Wu were 50% similar. The deeper Thirteenth’s love, the colder he becomes. He was silent for a while and his expression returned to normal. He casually took a seat beside me, looking at the black hand prints that Cheng Huan had accidental left on my clothes.

“You are so patient with children. No wonder Hongli and Cheng Huan are so close to you.” He smiled.

I sighed, “These are their most carefree days. I like them to be happy. When they grow up they will have to follow all kinds of rules, and all kinds of troubles will come. Being in the royal family there will always be a lot of frustration in the future. I would rather they have a a pure and happy time now.”

“Cheng Huan now has the Emperor’s brother and we are here to protect her. She can do whatever she wants, but we can’t protect her forever. Let her do what she wants. In ordinary families it doesn’t matter. At most, people will say she is unruly. But in a family like ours, a small mistake could cost her her life and blood.” He said.

“I understand what you mean, but it is precisely because we are too strict with rules that I want Cheng Huan to live more freely. Don’t worry, I have my own plans. I love Cheng Huan as my own daughter and I won’t let her make any mistakes.” I said after a while.

Thirteenth sighed softly without saying anything. I glanced at him sideways and said, “When you were young, you were the most free and easy, unruly. Who in the Forbidden City didn’t know about Thirteenth’s romantic relationships with peddlers, prostitutes and wealthy guests? When we were unfamiliar, you kidnapped me to stay out all night! Now, not only do we have to abide by the rules, but you are now worrying about a misbehaving daughter.”

He held up his head and said after a pause, “I just hope she can live a peaceful life. I don’t want her to experience the hardships we experienced. I’d rather her be ordinary and stupid.”

I hugged my knees and sighed. “Although Cheng Huan likes to play and fool around, she is very smart. She is good at changing her attitude according to the situation and she makes the emperor and consort Xi very happy. Although she is naughty, Hongli still likes to play with her and treats her better than his own sister, which proves she knows her own limits. And although I dote on her, I also tell her the truth when I should.”

“Cheng Huan used to play intimately with Hongli, but why is she so close to him now?” Thirteenth nodded and asked casually.

I smiled faintly not replying. One is the future emperor, and the other the future empress dowager. Of course I will secretly advise and guide Cheng Huan what feelings should be cultivated from a young age.

We both became lost in thought.

“At first I came over and stood a long time, but you didn’t notice me. You only woke up after Cheng Huan called you. What were you thinking about?” He asked.

I forced a smile and answered, “I wasn’t thinking about anything. I was just distracted for a moment.”

Thirteenth stared at the ground and said, “Are you asking me to guard the imperial mausoleum because of my brother’s order?” I didn’t answer. “It might be a good thing for him to stay way from the capital.” He said.

“Do you really think so?” I asked, lowering my head.

“That’s true. I’d rather even exchange with him. The imperial brother left him to guard the mausoleum in Zunhua, but he was not allowed to move around at will. It’s not a confinement although the food, clothing, housing, and transportation cannot compare to Beijing; it’s actually not that bad.” Thirteenth said.

I whispered, “You are different from him. If the Emperor had no one he could trust and it wasn’t so difficult to walk, you would have sailed away on the five lakes. But his ambitions were not fulfilled. From the great general who commanded thousands of troops and galloped across the northwest to an idler guarding the mausoleum, the sadness in his heart could never be alleviated by the beautiful scenery of Zunhua.” [pretty sure they are referencing Fourteenth]

“My brother has been deliberately not letting you know of the affairs of court, especially those related to Eighth and Tenth, because he doesn’t want you to worry about them. My brother said you were taking medicine every day to recuperate, if you worry about these things won’t all his efforts be in vain? Besides, we are brothers after all. The worst thing that could happen is imprisonment.” Thirteenth smiled and continued, “Imprisonment in a beautiful place is also secluded life away from the troubles of the world.”

Thirteenth advised again, “My brother will not be in a good mood now. The Dowager is refused to say a word to my brother for Fourteenth and also forbade us from calling her Dowager. Now she is seriously ill, but she is only thinking of Fourteenth. But my brother is now implementing a new policy and there is already a lot of opposition, and it was implemented with a tough attitude. If Fourteenth stayed in Beijing, knowing his temper, he would not give my brother any face. He can go against my brother in front of all the ministers. Where is my brother’s dignity? How can he make all the ministers obey him? If he was instigated and used by someone with ulterior motives, the consequences would be even more unpredictable. Ruoxi, you are powerless to do anything about these things. Just let it go!”

I rested my head on my knees in silence while Thirteenth stared off into the distance in a trance.

May 23, the 1st year of Yongzheng’s rein

Empress Dowager Renshou, Wu Ya, died. She never accepted the title of Empress Dowager conferred by Yinzhen until her death.

In her last moments, she still ignored Yinzhen’s call of ‘mother’. When she closed her eyes forever, Yinzhen ordered everyone to leave and knelt upright in front of her bed for more than two hours. His face was calm, without anger or sadness.

The empress was helpless and ordered Gao Wuyong to call me over. I stepped forward to pay my respects and the empress quickly supported me, asking, “Do you have any ideas?”

I stared at the figure full of grief and indignation through the window. After a while I asked, “Has Fourteenth arrived?”

The empress shook her head. “Not yet. Maybe he’ll arrive by evening.”

I felt bad and felt pity towards Yinzhen. Fourteenth was unable to see Kangxi off for the final time and now he couldn’t see his mother for the last time. He is the Emperor and now everyone is worried about him, but what about Fourteenth? What about Fourteenth’s pain? His mother was bedridden because she missed him! But he couldn’t show filial piety toward her nor meet with her for a word of comfort. Now, as he rushes back, he can only face a cold and lifeless corpse. How can I describe the pain? How can I end the sorrow?

I said to the empress, “I don’t have any idea either.” I then bowed to her and left. The empress looked startled, but she let me leave anyway.

When Fourteenth arrived that night, he knelt in front of the dowager’s bed silent and silent. He knelt all night. When Yinzhen ordered people to prepare the body for burial in the morning, he suddenly went crazy and tried to stop people from moving the dowager’s body. Yinzhen ordered people to hold him down and began to prepare the body. Fourteenth began to sob loudly, his wails shook the entire palace.

I stood outside the dowager’s palace and could hear the heart wrenching cries. I leaned against a pillar, tears streaming down my face. Fourteenth, who had always been in good health, fell ill due to his mother’s death. He was ill for more than a month and still needed someone to support him before returning to Zunhua. Fourteenth had nowhere to go for his grief and resentment, and it seemed that he could only vent through illness.

Yinzhen’s expression was calm when he went to court and returned. His grief had long since passed. But in the dead of night, when he was reviewing memorials, he would suddenly become dazed, his face gloomy as he gripped his pen, veins throbbing. Only when no one knew about it would he allow his grief to be released for a moment.

The resentment I had for him in my heart softened at this moment. I put down the book in my hand and walked over to him, gently taking his hand and removed the brush. We looked at each other silently. How much sadness was hidden in the frown? I reached out to gently smooth his brow.

He held me in his arms without speaking and we hugged each other tightly. In the long dark night, under flickering red candles, our figures leaning against each other were reflected on the window screen.

Hongli’s birthday is coming soon. When Kangxi was in power, he would hold banquets and give gifts to every prince on his birthday. But Yinzhen was always strict in disciplining his children. After ascending the throne, he not only prohibited officials from extravagance, but was also very frugal himself. So Hongli’s birthday must have been simple.

Yinzhen did not order anyone to prepare singing and dancing, nor did he throw a banquet, since it was not a big birthday, as expected. He just planned some time in the evening to have dinner with Hongli.

I asked him what he was going to give Hongli as a reward, and he told me he was going to write a calligraphy for Hongli. I covered my mouth and laughed secretly. He was really stingy. When I saw the calligraphy, I laughed even more. The whole piece was full of admonitions and exhortations. How could this be a birthday gift?! People who didn’t know would have thought Hongli had made some mistake! However, even if Hongli didn’t understand it now, he should be able to understand when he is older, Yinzhen’s earnest expectations for him. Those words are really rarer than any rare antique artifacts and jade.

I privately asked Cheng Huan to learn singing and dancing from the aunties in the palace and on Hongli’s birthday, I would wish him a happy birthday and with the sound of a flute played by Thirteenth, it would enough to have a song and dance and some fun. Looking at my own arrangements, I couldn’t help but laugh. Look at how much this family saves, all without spending any money.

On the birthday, I took Cheng Huan by the hand and reminded her of the things to pay attention to that night. She twisted her dress and asked, “Other princes and princesses don’t give birthday gifts to Brother Hongli. Why do they have to let me do it?”

“You will understand in the future.” I said.

“Good aunt, tell me now!” Cheng Huan was so tired of me. I looked at her and sighed slightly in my heart, holding her in my arms. Cheng Huan hugged my neck quietly and after a while, whispered in my ear, “I like when aunt hugs me.”

I smiled and patted her back. “I think most of your sweet talk was taught by me, right? They have no effect on me.”

I thought after I finished saying this that Cheng Huan would definitely twist and rub, but she just lay quietly on my shoulder without moving. I was puzzled and wanted to push her up to check on her, but she just hugged me tightly and said softly, “I’m telling the truth, aunt. I like hugs from royal uncle and aunt. Cheng Huan can feel that aunt hugs Cheng Huan because she is Cheng Huan.”

“What kind of tongue-twister is this?” I shook her and hugged her again.

She kissed my face and smiled, “Aunt is playing dumb again. What the Emperor said was indeed right.” She pouted and whispered in my ear. “I know that many people hold Cheng Huan because of the Emperor, and of course because Cheng Huan is cute. But aunt is happy to hold Cheng Huan no matter if she is dirty or naughty.”

I was silent for a while, not knowing whether to be happy or sad. Cheng Huan is only a little old, but she is already starting to understand the court vaguely. But maybe this is a good thing, after all, only by understanding can you avoid doing foolish things.

She was still clinging to me and refusing to get up. I looked at Thirteenth who came in through the curtain and said, “Your father is here.”

In an instant, she stood up straight and bowed to him. I raised my head and laughed. Thirteenth stared at her with a complicated expression for a bit and then also smiled bitterly.

“Go find momo to change clothes.” I told Cheng Huan. She immediately ran away.

I watched her leave and laughed. “Thirteenth who was so charming back then, has girls running away when they see him now, trying to avoid him as much a possible.”

“Can you gloat over something like this?” He asked while smiling bitterly.

I suppressed my smile and replied, “When she grows up, she will understand that the doting on her by so many of us stems from your love for her.” Thirteenth shook his head and changed the subject asking, “How is Cheng Huan learning the zither?”

“It’s difficult! She see the other princesses don’t have this homework, so she doesn’t want to do it herself.” I said shaking my head.

He was silent for a moment and then said with a hint of sadness, “Everything else is up to her, but I don’t want her to not be able to play the zither that her mother left her for the future.”

I nodded, “Okay, even if I have to spank her, I will make sure she learns well.”

We were chatting when a eunuch hurried in. When he saw me and Thirteenth, he greeted us. I also stood up.

“Thirteenth Master is auspicious! Aunt is auspicious! The Emperor has said today is Hongli’s birthday please join us for dinner with Thirteenth Prince.”

After Thirteenth had agreed, he sent the eunuch away first and we made our way slowly.

“Why didn’t my brother tell me in advance? I didn’t prepare any gifts.” He sighed.

“He was half busy and half intentionally forgot,” I laughed. “You know his temper. He doesn’t like to work hard on these things. He just likes to keep things simple. He just wants an ordinary family dinner. Not a feast with gifts and wine.”

Thirteenth smiled and didn’t reply.

I looked at him and asked, “When we eat later, do you plan on standing up to thank the emperor for giving you a piece of food?”

“Ruoxi, my brother is now the Emperor. We are no longer Fourth and Thirteenth. We are monarch and subject. But I will stop when I have done it. Last year I had faced too many changes at once and didn’t know how to handle things properly.” He said.

I shook my head. “But he doesn’t want you to see him as the Emperor.”

Thirteenth stood still and stared at me. After thinking for a while, he looked around and said, “If… once a person sits in a position of power, whether he wants to or not, he will eventually have to face the loneliness and honor of being alone, high above, accepting the worship of thousands of people. After a long time he will get used to it and unconsciously used to the absolute power and absolute majesty brought by this position and gradually become unable to tolerate the usurpation of others.”

“No he won’t.” I shook my head.

Thirteenth said, “Tang Taizong is well known in history for treating his heroes well and obeying their advice. However, he said angrily, ‘Sooner or later, I will kill Wei Zheng’. If not for the advice of Empress Changsun, the consequences would have been unpredictable. Since ancient times, the minds of emperors have been elusive, and many things are hanging by a thin line. Even if he regrets it later, how can he easily go back on his words?”

I stared at Thirteenth without saying anything.

“Ruoxi, you have to learn to accept that there is no contradiction in these things. Now I regard him as my most beloved fourth brother, but he is also the Emperor of the entire world. I am his subject. I am his respected younger brother, and I am loyal to him as a subject.” He said.

I shook my head and walked away quickly. “He would be sad if he knew.”

Thirteenth caught up with me and said from behind, “My brother understands everything now, but you are the only one who doesn’t understand.” I turned my head to look back and his smiled bitterly. “Ruoxi, why are you always afraid of the future and refuse to change? It seems that you always want to hold on to everything in front of you and don’t want to move forward. Is the future really that scary? But…” he sighed, “My brother is guarding you, afraid that you will change. I don’t know if what I said was right or wrong, but I’m really worried about you. I’m worried that one day you will not be able to hide in the world created by my brother and yourself.”

When we arrived at Yangxin Palace, Fourth Prince Hongli was already there. When he saw me and Thirteenth, he immediately stood to bow in greeting to us. I stepped aside and told the eunuchs to prepare the banquet while Thirteenth and Hongli were talking.

It wasn’t until the sky was dark that Yinzhen came hurriedly. While washing his hands, he said, “Let them make their long conversation short, but it’s too late.” He looked at Thirteenth and Hongli and asked, “What are you talking about?”

There was still excitement in Hongli’s eyes and he replied respectfully, “I just begged Thirteenth Uncle to tell me his experience with killing a tiger alone while young. I didn’t expect that he was two years older than I am now!” He looked up at Thirteenth in admiration.

Yinzhen’s eyes darkened and I quickly smiled and said, “Your Majesty, can we start the meal?”

He nodded and sat down at the table. Only once he was seated did Thirteenth and Hongli dare sit down.

“Where is Cheng Huan?” Yinzhen asked. Hongli also looked to me immediately. I thought he had been wondering for a while, but didn’t dare ask.

I pursed my lips. “She will be here in a while.”

Yinzhen glanced at Gao Wuyong who immediately moved a chair and placed it just below him. He said, “Ruoxi, sit here.”

I glanced at Hongli and saw that he appeared normal, so I didn’t hesitate to sit down.

While eating, Yinzhen asked Hongli about his studies, riding and archery, and even asked him about current events in the court. Hongli had a hard time eating, and beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. He probably wished he didn’t celebrate his birthday. Thirteenth watched him with pity, but just smiled secretly, head down.

“The northwest is unstable now. If I ask you to go to Qinghai to meet the Mongols, what will you do?”

I kicked Yinzhen under the table. He was stunned for a moment. I put a piece of food in front of him and said with a smile, “Today is fourth prince’s birthday. We were all waiting to see the birthday gift the Emperor will give to him.”

Yinzhen ordered Gao Wuyong to take out the calligraphy he had written. Hongli felt relieved and stood up to accept it with both hands. Yinzhen opened his mouth and wanted to admonish me, but seeing me biting my lip and staring at him in annoyance, he smiled.

He stood up and said to Hongli, “Everything I want to say is written in it. You can take a closer look when you go back!”

Hongli nodded respectfully, “I’ll remember this.” A eunuch helped him after to put the calligraphy away, and he sat down to eat again.

Yinzhen had stopped asking him questions, but he didn’t dare speak. The dinner table was very dull. I was getting impatient with waiting and Yutan gestured to me. I smiled and said to Hongli, “Princess Cheng Huan also prepared a birthday gift for the fourth Prince. Would you like to see?”

Seeing an unexpected surprise, Hongli glanced at Yinzhen and nodded.

Yutan came forward holding a flute and tambourine. I handed the flute to Thirteenth and picked up the tambourine. Thirteenth raised a brow and stared at me. I smiled and said, “ The last time I heard you play was ten years ago. Today, thanks to fourth prince and Cheng Huan, please play another song for me, Thirteenth.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke. When he was first released, he was in a mess and had no time to play the zither. After Lu Wu left, he no longer touched these things.

Thirteenth held the flute in silence. I ignored him and beat a rhythm on the tambourine. Amid the cheerful beats, Cheng Huan came out wearing a vail and Uyghur dress, singing and dancing. Her singing was clear and cheerful, and her dance steps light and moving; just like a lark on the grasslands in spring, with only endless brightness and hope, without any haze.

Thirteenth stared at Cheng Huan, his eyes showing both sorrow and joy. Yinzhen stared at me and my heart ached, but I just played the tambourine and smiled. When we were talking, I had jokingly promised him that I would dance for him in the future, just like Minmin did for Thirteenth. But now my legs are suffering from rheumatism, and it hurts to walk every day, not to mention dancing. I can no longer do that in this life. Maybe the promise made back then has been fulfilled.

Accompanied by sounds of the hand drum, Cheng Huan spun around happily, her red skirt spread out like a blooming flower, her deerskin boots stomping the ground with a thumping sound and her long braids danced in the air. The sound of my tambourine became more and more urgent, and she spun faster and faster. Suddenly her vail came down. She quickly put it back on while spinning, but it fell away again. She put it on immediately again and within moments it fell away. She suddenly stopped and grabbed the vail angrily and pulled it hard, tearing it off along with her hat. Throwing it on the ground unsatisfied, she stomped her feet twice.

I was stunned and forgot to play the tambourine. Suddenly the whole room was silent and I could only hear Cheng Huan stomping her foot. I didn’t expect her to be so prone to error. While I was in a daze, she smiled sweetly at us and jumped up happily again, as if nothing had happened. Seeing this, we couldn’t help but smile and I started playing the tambourine again.

Thirteenth stared at Cheng Huan’s smiling face and raised his flute slowly. He played a tune that matched her dance steps, a tune that he composed himself according to the scene. Cheng Huan stared at Thirteenth, her eyes wide as if she couldn’t believe that such a beautiful sound came from her weak and haggard father who couldn’t even walk steadily.

My hand drumming gradually stopped and I watched the father and daughter. The image of a tall and graceful man playing the flute under the osmanthus tree many years ago overlapped the graying image of today. Yinzhen held my hand from under the table and we smiled at each other. There was the vicissitudes of life in our eyes.

Chang Huan danced to Hongli amidst the cheerful flute music. During the last few notes, she knelt on one knee facing him and placed a hand on her chest. She said sincerely, “Happy birthday, brother Hongli! Happy every day!” She continued after a pause, “Cheng Huan wants to be happy every day, too!”

Just as Hongli was about to thank her, she grabbed her hair with a look of annoyance and jumped up. Picking up her hat she turned it over a few times before looking at me with a sad face. I ignored her and she handed a piece of gauze that had been stepped on and soiled to Hongli, pitifully. It was embroidered with words using specially treated silver thread.

Originally after she had finished dancing, she should have taken off her vail and presented it with both hands. I would have helped her dim the lights. In the dark, the silver threads would automatically glow like fireflies and the gauze would be clear. At first glance, it would seem as if it didn’t exist, with only a few words shining into the void, as if she were holding the congratulatory words in her hands. Now it was trampled into a mess by her and I was in no mood to care anymore.

Hongli was still very happy. He took the gauze with a smile and held it close. “Thank you!”

Yunxiang took out a dagger that he normally carried and handed it to Hongli. “This dagger was given to me by my father, your grandfather, when I was a child. I have always carried it with me. Today is your birthday. I didn’t have any gifts prepared, so I will gift this.”

When Hongli saw the pattern on the dagger, his eyes widened immediately. He took it excitedly and lovingly touched it. “Thirteenth Uncle, is this the dagger that killed the tiger?”

Thirteenth nodded. Hongli hesitated and handed it back to him with both hands. “I dare not accept it!”

“I don’t need it now! You can play with it!” Thirteenth laughed.

Hongli glanced at Yinzhen who nodded. He then accepted it and kowtowed to Thirteenth, expressing his gratitude. Thirteenth was just about to help him up when Yinzhen stopped him. “Let him finish!” He had no choice but to sit back down and let Hongli finish.

“Thank you for the music and the dagger, Thirteenth Uncle! I have heard before that you were both in civil and military affairs, proficient in music, and brave enough to fight a tiger. Today, I have seen it for myself! Hongli will always remember today’s birthday.”

Cheng Huan was stunned. It was like she never knew her father. She stared at him in disbelief and whispered, “Did you really kill a tiger?”

I stared at her. She saw my expression and knew I was really angry. She immediately closed her mouth and watched me nervously. I sighed in my heart. Why should I be angry with her? She had only seen the current Thirteenth and not the Thirteenth of ten years ago. I smiled at her and Cheng Huan smiled back. She squeezed in next to me and sat down and hurried to eat.

“I’m starving! I don’t want these little braids anymore.” She raised her face and said to Hongli seriously. “I suffered this for you, fourth prince. You should remember this.”

The three of us laughed. Yinzhen took some food from a dish in front of him and gave it to Thirteenth. He smiled and said, “She has inherited this calculating habit from Ruoxi.”

Thirteenth also laughed. “I just hope it’s real understanding and not false understanding.”

“You guys can joke around as you want, but don’t make fun of me. I didn’t offend you two masters today.” I said.

Thirteenth looked at me and said in surprise, “How could you possibly offend Fourth? Twenty years ago, you learned all about our likes and dislikes from me. You were just short of meeting Fourth face to face to ask him for this information!”

I felt guilty and pretended not to hear and wanted to talk to Cheng Huan. Yinzhen was drinking and when he heard this, almost spit out his wine. He quickly put down the glass and clenched his fist to put it against his mouth and coughed twice. I don’t know if it was because of the alcohol or the smile, but his cheeks were a bit red.

Thirteenth had accidentally called out Fourth while joking, which made Yinzhen very happy. He drank more and talked more unconsciously, and no longer talked just about court affairs. He chatted with Thirteenth about all sorts of things. Thirteenth used to drink and talk with peddlers, singing girls and guests. He was familiar with the colloquialisms and allusions in the capital.

I know, when he talked about it, his mouth smelled sweet and Yinzhen, who was a bit drunk, kept laughing.

Hongli stared at Yinzhen and then at Thirteenth, before secretly glancing at me. He had probably never seen Yinzhen like this before. There was curiosity and confusion in his eyes, but he couldn’t help but smile. Cheng Huan also had that curiosity and confusion in her eyes as she stared at her father.

I watched them and sighed softly. Perhaps Cheng Huan will one day be willing to understand her father. She will know that we were once like them.

Yinzhen held my hand and I turned to look at him. He was talking to Thirteenth, who was smiling warmly. I couldn’t help but smile too. When I raised my eyes, Thirteenth was gazing at us and smiling warmly.

[mundoperla]

What about… RZ Michael Myers doing something unholy, like he’s really horny, with his fem friend (also a patient) at the Smith’s Grove? Like in some corridor or smth 👀 Wall sex, whaaat???

Would be grateful and on my knees, thanks 🙏

this got me kicking my feet in the air like a schoolgirl rn

& its my favorite michael??? ofc im abt to tackle this tf😩💜

𝙍𝙕 𝙈𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙮𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙁𝙚𝙢 𝙋𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

— No matter how many cameras there are, there will always be blind spots.

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ꕥ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

you see the title bitties here are the warnings vv

⚠️⚠️cws;; basically public sex, wall sex ofc, michael being HORNY, p in v but i think thats kind of expected, overall that nasty shit (lighthearted)⚠️⚠️

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ꕥ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

Despite his lack of communication, Michael made your stay at Smith’s Grove much more pleasant. He never acted out or caused any type of problems when you first arrived, he’d been relatively calm for quite some time now. Always alone in his room, no sound, no nothing, just him making masks in silence.

It was his creativity that sparked your initial interest in him in the first place. His walls were cover from top to bottom in the masks he’d make in his alone time, many ranging from different colors and shapes. Truthfully he never wanted to interact with you whenever you’d make a quick pass by his room to go somewhere on the other side of the hospital, there was a point in time where he found you annoying even.

Yet no matter how much time passed you’d still swing by with a quick ‘hello!’. It escalated to a point where you would linger on the other side of his door and hold up one sided conversations with him, of course him never responding to you verbally. It was alright though, body language is able to tell you enough.

You did all of the talking for the two of you, which all though he never spoke aloud, he appreciated. He hasn’t spoken in years and by the looks of it he wasn’t going to any time soon. Trust me, Dr. Loomis has tried.

You were no threat to Michael to begin with, he had no reason to dismiss you unless he had become tired of your company; which very rarely happened. He was surprisingly as patient as you were with him, perhaps this was his own way of saying ‘thank you’.

The two of you were almost like a joined pair after he had grown slightly more comfortable around you, if you went somewhere—Michael followed, if Michael went somewhere — you would follow. It was shocking to everyone that he’d show even such a small form of attachment to another living being without brutally murdering it. Of course in the early stages of your ‘friendship’ the two of you were heavily monitored before you could be permitted to be in spaces together alone with just a nurse on standby.

“ I’m gonna go ask one of the doctors if I can have another juice, you want one too ? ”

Michael won’t verbally respond, but he will turn his eyes down to the floor at your question.

“ Alright so that’s a no. Sit tight I’ll be right back. ”

He watched you sit up from the table the two of you sat at, disappearing into one of the many hallways. He had originally got up to go and follow you like he always did, but something inside him told him not to, it had told him something else.

He ever so slightly considered you as some kind of companion, but he wanted you as something else. You were very beautiful to him and some of the other patients on your side of the building, it’s normal to think someone is nice looking. Yet he’d catch himself staring a bit too hard when you would do the simplest of things such as drinking some water or even when you stretched and a sliver of your stomach would be exposed. Was it also normal to have these filthy thoughts directed towards a so-called ‘friend’?

The bulge in his pants grew ever so larger the longer he sad and pondered. He needed to ‘fix’ this before you came back and saw. Would you think he was disgusting if you did see him this way? Surely you would.

You had come back to your shared table empty handed only to see that Michael was gone, maybe he’d gone back to his room? He could be tired, nothing wrong with just a quick swing by his door and wish him goodnight.

There were quite a few cameras the closer you got to Michael’s room, just as you turn into the corridor large hands yank you from the entrance to a darker corner of the hall. You’d mentally braced yourself to be strangled by this unknown person, but familiar blonde strands of hair loomed above you, of course the orange mask eased the tension much more.

Michael silently stared down at you, you could just barely see his sky blue eyes behind the paper mask. But now left the following questions, why was he just waiting in the corner? why is he now all of a sudden making actual physical contact with you? Truthfully one could only imagine the worst in the sense of it being correlated with him of all people, but the worst never came.

You’d opened your mouth to speak but you’re immediately silenced by the feeling of his erection pressing itself into your ass. He was rubbing himself against you now, still as silent as ever, showing no sign of satisfaction.

“ Mike- Michael! There’s cameras, we can’t do this here, we could get caught.. ”

Of course he doesn’t give you a verbal response, but this time will give you a slow twirl of his finger, telling you to look around you. There weren’t any cameras that could catch you in their line of sight, and the one camera that was much closer than the rest faced the opposite direction where you had originally been grabbed.

He was telling you it was safe to continue, you were clear to unfold. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t the slightest bit aroused as him, maybe even more. Using his cold hands to slide under your shirt so he could squeeze the soft flesh of your breasts, to then slowly migrate under the fabric of your pants to rub you through your underwear. You’d began to grind back into him, trying to pull down his own pants down as well as your own so the two of you could ease this tension much quicker.

Michael had fantasized about how you would feel around his cock, the way you would squeeze him and the sounds you could make when he started to thrust, he couldn’t live with the possibility of another person pleasuring you instead of him. He needed to be the one to take you, you may not be aware but you’re in fact his and his only. Maybe he liked you alot more than what he initially thought.

Your body trembled as Michael moved your body slightly so you were now fully pressed against the wall with him standing behind you, one hand held you in place by the hip whilst the other began to align himself against your hole, knowing him there will be no auditory warning that he’d be sliding in. You’re not a pussy, you could take him, couldn’t you ?

Both of your hands rested on the white brick walls, truthfully you weren’t even sure he was going to fit inside. He’s taking his sweet time behind you. You’re really about to become his in a dark corner that surveillance could not reach, this could have been much better under different circumstances, but neither of you could chose the have sex in a different location at this time, you’ll take what you can get.

The stretch that followed after an agonizing 15 seconds of the man behind you pondering could be considered as beyond painful, your hand quickly covering your mouth to muffle your whimpers. He can feel your walls clamp around him, gushing uncontrollably by the sudden rush of pleasure. He’s not even halfway inside you yet, but you’ve got his pelvis and a small bit of the floor wet now, clearly you wanted this as much as he did.

You don’t get the luxury of Michael stopping in his tracks to let you breathe before he continues to push himself into you, however you get the honor or him bending himself over enough to cover your mouth with his own hands instead of your own. Now you just had to focus on keeping yourself steady while he takes what’s his.

You’d think he had never hear the word ‘gentle’ in his lifetime. His thrusts were fast yet also powerful, despite his hands covering your mouth small moans still escaped. He had just started yet you felt so fucked out already, your legs trembling, your juices dribbling down your thigh and back down onto the floor.

He fucks you like you’re a fleshlight, dominantly chasing his own high but still trying to get you to come undone as well. He’s intentionally trying to break you as much as possible before the two of you have to eventually wrap up, his hands shy away from your mouth, one to slither down to toy with your clit whilst the other grips onto one of your tits as he continues to pound himself into your cunt like a man possessed. He makes it impossible not to scream but you are aware to still keep your voice down as much as possible.

“ Michael.. Keep moving just like that.. I’m so- Fuck.. ”

Your voice had continued to quiver the longer he kept going, the coil in your belly was about to snap once again. Michael considered finishing inside as some kind of ‘mark’ to leave behind, but he could always wait for another time to have that visual. For right now it was your ass that he had decided on, he’d still get a satisfactory visual of himself on you.

Practically yanking himself out of you just as you had came, his warmth begins to coat your skin. You’re lightheaded and you could feel your legs about to give out as Michael let go of you. Silently admiring his ‘art’, he’d wiped a smudge of his mess off of you with his finger, bringing it up to your lips. It was sweet but also bitter, it was him. He could leave you here to clean yourself up so he could go back to his room, but based off of how you were struggling to keep yourself up, maybe he could just take you back to your own room before departing for the night.

He had taken the time to get you dressed back up as well as himself, pulling you out of the corridor down to the hallway opposite to your own room. Your hand felt so small in his, he was intimidating to many people, but you ? There was an odd sense of security from being this close to Michael. He stood with you for a brief moment after arriving to your room, with him he could have just been there to stare at you a while longer or he was silently examining you to get a clear visual that you were okay to be left on your own now. Could have just been both.

He was exhausted now, but also mildly flustered. So much had just happened and he could barely process it. He’s turned to walk back down to his own room so that you could get some sleep as well, but is quickly stopped buy the force of you clinging yourself onto one of his arms tightly.

“ Goodnight Mikey, we should definitely do that again at some point. ”

You’re hardly standing up straight yet you’ve asked him to.. again, too much to process. But he will take your request into consideration.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

apologies if the ending is messy i have no clue how to properly conclude shit i tried my best

[omiscurls]

Diluc, zhongli and childe reaction to their s/o breaking up with them after something they said, maybe after a week or so after they argument they think the s/o forgave them but they break up instead? I WANT THE ANGST

consequences

plot: reader decides to break up with the character after not speaking to them

contains: diluc, zhongli, tartaglia (idk how am i going to do this to my special boy but ill try my best)

warnings: angst, breakups, implied past toxic behavior

a/n: OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO HARD- I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO BREAKUP WITH PEOPLE

diluc

hopeless thoughts ran through your head as you fought with yourself about wether to enter angel’s share or not, hand halfway through to the doorknob. your mind hadn’t been made up just yet, you were still in between two very different scenarios - the urge to forgive him for his hurtful words growing stronger each day, as anger and other emotions subdued to loneliness and the feeling of a part of you missing, ever since the two of you stopped talking.

your mind flashed back to the exact moment when you looked into diluc’s eyes, always so soft and calm for you, forming a way of anger he never expressed towards you before. to the feeling you got right then and there that this man is not the same one you’ve met and fell in love with.

the process of coming to terms with that conclusion was as painful as the first strike of his angry glare, and even though he seemed to have realized the weight of his words right after saying them out loud, no matter how hard you tried, you could not erase them from your memory.

one strike of that pain, one memory of that night was enough to make you go through with your plan, door to the bar opening with a little screech.

it was like just another late afternoon, with charles tending the bar, knights and townsfolk filling the hot room, and the smell of alcohol traveling through the air.

“hi” you said to the bartender “is master diluc around?”

charles, busy with his work, quickly replied that he’s out back, opening a barrel. you nodded and went where his directions guided, pushing open yet another door to see the back of the man you loved, looking just as always from this angle, working over said chore. he didn’t even seem to mind the fact that someone walked in on him working.

“diluc” you said with a sigh, and he almost immediately turned around, tools falling from his hands and onto the ground.

“darling, hi” he replied quietly, walking over to you but stopping half way, eyes set to analyze your expression, figure out what was going on in your mind. “i’m glad you’re here safely, i haven’t heard from you in over a week” he added cautiously, as if weighing every word before deciding to say it out loud.

“well” you sighed again, once again going over wether you should actually break things off right then, mind taking pity on his troubled expression, tired eyes, on the obvious eyebags that were much more apparent than before, a sign that he didn’t catch too much sleep. “i had to come to terms with what i’m about to say”

he wanted to tell you he was sorry, he really did, but words didn’t seem to come out of his throat. obviously he was sorry, it was a bad day and he meant none of what he said, but you knew that, right? you knew he always cared for you and loved you… right?

he wasn’t the best with words, hence, the idea of apologizing with a gesture after you were done teaching him his lesson came to mind. a brilliant idea, one could never go wrong with a thoughtful deed for their significant other, just give him one more chance.

“and my conclusion is, we need to take a step back and… reevaluate things in our lives. i’m not saying this is the ultimate end, but what you’ve said, and how you’ve said it made me realize…”

you were making a good point. you were talking about your feelings. he should listen, but the only thing he heard was the blood pumping through his veins, and the two single words

the end

so there won’t be another chance? he won’t be able to prove himself? what do you mean, the end? the best thing that ever happened to him in his sad life was coming to an end because of him? but he was so careful, he treated you like his treasure, because that’s how he truly felt, like his lifeline, something he could never lose…

and all it took was one sentence too much, one glare too intense. for the first time in what, six, maybe seven years, his eyes began to water, as he blinked the tears back at a rapid pace.

“… and that was a shitty thing to do. i hope you know that. i don’t know if i had anything else i wanted to say, perhaps i did, but… that’s all. see you around, i guess” you mumbled, loosing confidence in what you were saying, taking one last glance at his lost eyes before turning around.

turning around from him, from the love of your life, was perhaps the hardest thing you ever had to do, and yet you did do it.

before you could reach the door again, though, a cold hand caught your forearm. your eyes met his, with just a glimmer of hope that he would magically say all the right words and somehow make you stay, you didn’t want to leave, yet knew you had to. if you wanted to preserve the respect you had for yourself, you had to leave.

why were you giving him time to say something?

his helpless gaze seemed to speak with a thousand words, begging, pleading you to not leave through that door, but as much as his lips did part, not a single word left.

he couldn’t say anything to hold you back, and you ripped away from his grip, turned, and walked away.

and just like that,

he was all alone, again.

he was gonna need a drink.

zhongli

tears flooded your vision, blurring every details of zhongli’s face, causing you to only see a pale color palette, instead of your favorite person, ever. maybe it was for the best, maybe it would make it easier, you thought, but that was a foolish thing to hope for.

even through the salty tears, you could make out his eyes, it’s glow never failing to guide you, and comfort you, now seeming to burn their way through you, through your body and soul.

“you’re stuck in another love, zhongli, we both know that!” you exhaled a bit louder than you intended to, the outcome sounding more like an accusation than a fact. “how can you ever say you love me, when it’s so obvious, and so apparent, that every time you look at me, you see someone else? you HOPE for someone else?”

you could only wish the words you spoke didn’t come out as a complete mess, because of those tears you were constantly choking on. desperation seeped through your voice, as the feeling of helplessness rose every time you looked at your lover and at the anguish, and confusion he presented.

how could he make this so hard? it’s not like you’ve presented some statement he didn’t know already, right?

you hoped your eyes would say all the things you didn’t trust your voice to. you hoped he’d somehow hear how all you ever wanted was to be enough, was to meet his standard, how it tore you open that every time he said <i love you> his eyes wandered everywhere but onto yours, how all his touches seemed absent, how all his compliments were truly about some other face, some other smile, some other kind soul.

the worst part was, how could you blame him? how can anyone, ever, blame someone for being in love, of all things? love was something beautiful, and once you’ve experienced it, you’re drowned in it forever, and don’t even want to see the surface again.

love is beautiful. when you’re the one who’s receiving it. love was beautiful, to you, too, when you loved how his wisdom flew through his words, how his kindness hugged your spirit, how his aura brought you comfort. you loved his eyes, you loved his cheeks, his lips, every single detail of his skin.

the love you felt made you complete, made you warm, until you finally realize the thing you should’ve seen much sooner.

that you were merely a mirror for him to look at someone else, someone long gone.

suddenly all the warmth you felt was directed back at you, burning you inside, making you wish you never felt it in the first place.

“aren’t you gonna say something?” you whispered.

his long fingers found their way to your hand, but you snatched it away.

if you fell onto his charms now, you wouldn’t be able to get out once more.

his breath hitched as he gathered himself to speak

“i want nothing more than to love you” he said, although quietly, it rang through your ears like the loudest of screams.

you scoffed.

“we both would’ve wanted that, then”

“and i’m sure i can, if you just—“

now, laughter was all that you were capable of letting out.

“zhongli, you can’t train yourself to love someone. and even if you could, then how do you think that would make me feel? like i’m so unlovable you had to force yourself through it to grow accustomed to a feeling similar to love?”

“that’s not what i—“

“that’s what it means! let it go, please, please just… let me go” you sighed, standing up from the bench over at liyue harbor that you were sitting on. the sun has begun to set on the other side of the sea, and you couldn’t help but notice, it would’ve been the perfect date.

“i do sincerely hope you’ll find someone who’ll love you just the same” he finally stated, as he gave up on trying to make you stay.

“why?” you chuckled “so i could make them suffer the same way you made me?”

tartaglia

(archons give me strength)

you found nothing but guilt, looking into the endless ocean trapped in his eyes. for the first time in forever, they glistened, but not with a spark of joy, like you always hoped they would, they shone a sickly shine, caused by a thin layer of tears, that didn’t dear to spill over his porcelain cheeks, almost as if afraid of making contact with the ruthless face of the number eleven of the fatui harbingers.

he could’ve easily been crying if only he let himself go. he would’ve been in tears, sniffing and coughing, but he just… wasn’t. he held those tears in the gates of his eyes, as if his life depended on it.

the guilt you found inside them, wasn’t his, but yours. you felt guilty, watching this composed, confident man fall into pieces right before you, crumbling before your sight. why were you doing this? you seemed to forget all those terrible things you’ve heard just from the way his irises begged for forgiveness and brows furrowed in inexplicable sadness.

but you couldn’t, no, this time you couldn’t.

“my word” you swore on dear life you’d burst into tears if your voice shook right now “my word is final. we’re over. and that’s… that’s it. you need to understand that there won’t be another chance.”

the moment his lips parted, you knew you were lost.

“i have told you so many times already, but i will say this as much as i need to, it will never happen again! i swear, on everything i love and everything that i am, i swear on life itself, i won’t ever let that happen again! you know i won’t! come on, i promise you, if there’s anything you can say about me is i do keep my promises, don’t i? darling, please…”

“promise yourself to heal and become better, first” you stated coldly, watching faith disappearing slowly from his fixed look.

“im sorry, you know i am, im sorry, im sorry, im so fucking sorry!” a scream left his throat as desperation took over both reason and self-respect.

“sorry isn’t gonna cut it”

“then what will? i’ll do anything, anything in the world, anything to prove myself to you. i get that you can’t love me, i understand that, but please, let me win your trust again.”

he said unnaturally calmly, compared to what he did before, and you got concerned immediately.

i understand that you can’t love me, his words rang through your head. oh god, what were you doing? guilt stroke again, right at where you felt your heart to be.

right when you wanted to turn around and leave, he must’ve sensed that, and pulled you into a tight embrace. not suffocating, as they often describe it, not toxic and desperate, but… as loving as every other hug you’ve ever received from him. as calming and grounding, even though you could feel his heart racing. he didn’t refuse for you to leave, he didn’t trap you.

you understood after a while,

he was saying goodbye. all the love trapped inside his heart seeped out onto you, all his feelings surrounding and engulfing you.

“let me promise you this” he whispered, voice shaking painfully “the next time i’ll see you, i’ll be a better man. someone you will be able to be proud of, someone worthy of both your trust, and love. i won’t stop until i’ll be enough for you to look at me without the disgust and fear you have now. i promise. i’ll be better.”

“until then, then.” was the only thing you were capable of saying before leaving.

as soon as the door shut behind you, you rested against a wall and covered your mouth with a hand, unable to hold your tears any longer.

you heard a cry through the door. so he does have some feelings left, after all

your daily reminder that requests are open [here]

[lovely-lamy]

A Good Soul Trapped in an Evil lair

You remembered it as clear as day. That certain time where you got transported into another world you are not familiar to, a world that you did not expect to change everything. You've met a talking cat, a mirror with it's own face, a strange man in a crow's mask, troublesome new friends, futuristic technologies, magic and unnatural stuff. But the thing that unsettles you the most, is the strange behaviors that starts to show from the students around you the longer you stay in Twisted Wonderland... What had happened..?

TW: Yandere, Mention of a person missing at the beginning, Slight cursing, Obsessive, Kidnapping, GN!Reader

(If any of these triggers you, PLEASE DO NOT READ!!)

"I can't read the soul, the color, the shape... I can't see any"

You recall the words of the mirror, saying that he can't figure out your soul. You were a bit sad to know that you don't belong to any of this world but a bit happy to be different.

It has been months ever since you came into NRC, you had made various friends and learned more about the world during your stay. But slowly, things tend to change, little by little. Ace and Deuce always make excuses to leave whenever you were talking to somebody else and then just come back when you are done talking, although, you never see the person you just talked to ever again, it's like they disappeared, Epel is acting... well, not Epel, at all, he is acting weak and innocent even if you are alone, and he acts more "clingy" all of a sudden.... he even looked like he was about to cry when you told him you were going to ask Crowly if he found a way to get you back to your world, Jack stayed as Jack but he spends a lot more time with you now, he let you touch his tail and ears as much as you want, even pet him, whenever in public he puts a hand around your waist (very tight and firm) you don't see it, but he glares at anyone who stares at you for too long, and Sebek... you might not believe it but... he doesn't scream at you or talk about his 'Waka-sama' around you, although he does mention him a few times with but not many.

You are starting to get suspicious with them, but whenever confronted, they just shrug it off... so you just decided to ask their dorm leaders if they also noticed their weird changes and acts.

Heartslabyul (3:46 pm)

"Ah! Cater!"

The photogenic Heartslabyul 3rd year stopped painting the white with slight red paint roses and turned his head to the direction of the source. Surprised with your sudden appearance, but is happy to see you nonetheless. He smiled and turn on his heal, making his full body to face you.

"Hello there little prefect! What brings you here hm?"

He asked, watching you catch your breath, the way your chest moves up and down, and your heart beating fast as if you just ran a marathon.

"Hah...hah! I just wanted to ask hh- if I can speak with hh- dorm leader Riddle--!"

You managed to get the sentence out between breaths. You have been running around the maze for quite a while trying to find your way.

"Here, take some water, I'll lead you to the dorm leader oke?"

Cater said in a cheery tone with close-eyed smile while giving you the half-filled bottle of water. You grabbed the bottle and opened it, drinking almost all of it.

"Thank you Cater!"

You said happily. Cater nodded in amusement and proceeded to take your wrist and lead you to the dorm leader. You both reached Riddle, as usual, scolding three Heartslabyul students that broke another rule, along with Trey by his side trying to calm him down.

"You all have said that you will not do it again! But guess what? You broke multiple rules by this time now!! It is OFF WITH YOUR-"

Cater knocked at the opened door and making your presence known. It caught Riddle off guard to see you but that does not mean he doesn't want to. He unconsciously calmed down after seeing you (the three Heartslabyul students are silently thanking your presence)

"You three run off, though I'm not finished with you all yet *sigh* What brings you here prefect?"

You were surprised with how his mood changed so fast, but you didn't want to anger him more so you immediately answered.

"I came here to ask about Ace and Deuce's weird behavior. They seem to be always excusing themselves away at times whenever I'm busy with somebody and I'm concerned. And the weirdest thing is that Ace was so eager to review with me in alchemy class!"

Hearing the last sentence, Cater, Trey and Riddle tried to hold in their laughter.

"Heh I'm sorry if they seemed rude, although I'm sure they have a reason but... I don't think that's Ace at all"—Riddle

"Exactly! That's why I'm freaking out... What if he's possessed!?"

"Prefect, I don't think he would be possessed... Pft- but still--"—Trey

Couldn't hold it anymore, Trey and Cater burst into a fit of laughter. Riddle sighed shakily because of the urge to laugh, but kept his composure.

"Trey is right, he couldn't be possessed, he's probably just trying to change"

He paused for a few seconds then an idea came into mind 'This could be my chance to spend time with them!'

"How about we have tea and some sweets to get your mind off of it? What do you say prefect?"

Riddle said, smiling, although his eyes held a different meaning. You're not here for that, but you're afraid of the consequences when you say no, so you just agreed.

"I- I would love to"

Trey and Cater already know what was going on... and they are not letting you off easily.

..........

It has been 3 hours and you are sitting in a giant chair, all dressed up and forced to stay in one position.

"Back straight! Don't slouch! Keep your foot on the ground!"

Riddle clicked his tongue and came closer to you, lifting your chin up with two fingers with his face inches away from yours

"You really need work on your manners, but no worries, that's why I'm here"

His smirk while saying that is... unsettling. His eyes hold a glint of evil and his aura is suffocating. You two stayed in that position for at leats 2 minutes, but it felt like forever to you. You silently thanked Trey for coming in with the sweets.

"Here are the treats Riddle, oh, and, don't scare our guest ok?"

Trey's words somehow did not make you calmer. The atmosphere gets thicker every second and you wanted to get out so bad.

"Say 'Ah'"

You did not realize that you zoned out until you saw Trey holding out a spoon-full of (f/f) tart. You hesitated, but opened your mouth anyways.

"Good boy/girl"

You are not dumb, you swore you caught the love-sick tone that's barely can be heard he has while saying those words. The space between you is uncomfortably close. Too close for your liking

"Aw no fair Trey, I want to feed them too!"

Cater whined but when Trey did nothing, he just sliped himself in between you and caught the spoon that is in Trey's hands.

"Here you go prefect, 'Ah'"

He was about to slip the tart between your slightly opened lips but before he could, your two first year dumbass friends pulled you away.

"Oi! Prefect what the fuck are you doing here!?"

Ace asked rather loudly at your face, he then looked at the set up and he got the idea almost immediately. He smirked and let out a breathy chuckle.

"Why didn't you tell me there's an event today Ryocho?"—Ace

"I also did not expect it, but at least you are on time today, Trappla"—Riddle

Riddle mirrored Ace's mischievous smirk, indicating that this is not good, while Deuce is confused, but he knew what was happening after Ace looked at him in the eye then you.

..........

Another hour has passed and you are so desperate to get away from here. The five of them have been taking turns on feeding you with occasional selfies with Cater.

"Psst! Shrimpy!"

You turned at the voice and saw Floyd, crouching by a nearby rose bush. You gave him a pleading look and he nodded happily.

While the five Heartslabyul boys are looking elsewhere, Floyd took action and swiftly grabbed you by the waist, carrying you bridal style and made a run for it. Riddle caught him and ordered to go after Floyd. The four did as their dorm leader says, but they were too late.

Floyd was fast, and he managed to find his way out ina matter of time and ran straight to Octavinelleto take you there with him.

"What the hell you doing Floyd!? Ramshakle is that way!!"

"I know but Octavinelle is better!"

*whisper* "Shit"

Octavinelle (7:59 pm)

"Shrimpy chan seemed to have some trouble with that dorm, so I saved them!"

Floyd said, leaning on the glass table by the elbow. He has this close-eyed smile amd that made you regret asking for help.

"What exactly happened?"

Jade asked you with his usual calm tone, but that did not calm anything from you

"I was just about to ask on Ace and Deuce's weird actions and then--"

You are so tired of talking and you just want to have some rest right now. Azul pushed up his glasses and gave a menu to you.

"How about some treats from the Monstro Menu, would that make you fe-"

"No, I already ate back at Heartslabyul"

You quickly cut him off and laid on your back at the huge couch, covering your eyes with an arm. You were gonna fall asleep, but Floyd is not letting you. Floyd launched himself at you and caged you below him (I wanna switch places). You can't move since he is holding you in place. Thank Jade for holding back his brother.

"We should not treat our guest poorly, brother"

Floyd childishly stick a tounge out at his brother

"Booo you're no fun, Jade!"

"Settle down you two. Jade is right, we should treat our guest with welcome and humbleness"

He turned to your direction, smirking directly at you. You do not like this.

"We should offer you a stay here in Octavinelle, do not worry, it is comfortable here and you will have a pleasant stay"

You just wanted to ask about your friends' strange actions, not this! You really miss Ramshakle and Grimm right now, but you can't do anything against them!

"No, thank you Azul, but I can just go to Ramshakle and stay there, all I want to do is ask Riddle something, I did not mean it to end up to this"

You decided to just kindly decline his offer but then you were met again with Floyd, now he is tackling you to the floor and his face buried to the crook of your neck.

"You're not leaving Shrimpy chan, remember, we saved you, you just have to accept the offer~"

It might sound playful, but you know it is a threat, so you just agreed and stayed in Octavinelle

"Perfect, we shall lead you to your room"

Jade said while splitting you from Floyd and carrying you bridal style, humming a melody close to your ear as an attempt to make you sleep. You really can't fight the urge to sleep right now after what happened.

To be continued...

CHAPTER 2

[mammonswhore]

Heyo! How would the Obey Me brothers react to MC being a teenager/younger gen Z? Like, the paper-work got mixed up somehow, and said they were like 26, when they were actually like 16? Also (you don't have to include this), what if the teen MC was actually really interested in demons and angles before coming to devildom, so they're really nervous, but also really excited? If you don't wanna do it, that's fine tho :) Have a great day/night!

I love this prompt! Have a great day too,love🖤

Brothers reaction to MC being a Gen Z teen. (Platonic)

✒Lucifer.

He can already picture himself struggling with you.

Six brothers to take care of + a TEEN? Man is about to loose it.

If you are an introverted he will like you automatically and feel relieved that you will not always get into his brothers shenanigans.

If you are an extroverted (or just a curious one tbh) he will keep an eye on you 24/7 so you won't get into Mammon schemes or Satan's nerves and get yourself in trouble.

Really amused if you like demons and angels, will curse himself for misreading but will not hate himself too much since you are not that scared.

Gets tired of you quickly if you make too many questions and will always send you to ask Mammon or if it's something that he doesn't know himself he will ask Diavolo and tell you later but he will (of course) act all high and mighty as if he already knew the answer to such question.

Will practically adopt you and spoil you a lot because hes is big brother.

Overprotective. Oh you met a lesser demon and you want to go on a date with them? Haha he won't let you.

You will be the only person who gets in trouble and leaves with just a warning.

Also you are totally his soft spot. Man can't resist your sad face and will do anything to make you happy even if he doesn't like to admit that.

Totally lost when it comes to TikTok/memes references and will ask about it a lot.

✒Mammon

He is amazing. Not only does whatever you ask him to but also has the best ways to get you out of boredom.

He will teach you how to scam people and how to be a good thief even if you don't need it or want it.

Teaches you about demons and angels without even knowing. Sometimes he drops random facts but it's not until he realizes you write down what he says that he stops doing it just to hear you ask him things so he can act all smug and smart.

If someone breaks your heart he will be ready to throw hands,no one hurts their little siblings.

Like Lucifer,he adopted you and always claims to be "the one you choose to be with you first" making sure his brothers hear him.

He will help you make your homework. Even if he doesn't understand he will try his best.

Please refer to him sometimes as "big brother" he will die.

When he saves your ass from getting killed by lesser demons he will be ready to receive the biggest hug ever and is absolutely ready to be praised.

If he saves you and you say "thanks,big brother" now you have a problem. He will brag about it for a week (at least).

Will steal things from you to keep them with him when he is going thru an episode. It reminds him that someone thinks of him as worthy and love deserving.

Will die for you,you are not only family now but his favorite person.

Will compliment you in the best brotherhood way he can "looking good today,kid", "your hair looks nice,brat" and "You are the best looking sibling after me of course" are his go to compliments. Mostly does it because you compliment him back and because he knows his comments make you feel closer to him and boy loves it.

✒Levi

If you are an introvert like him you can expect him to go out of his room more often just to see you or talk to you.

If you are not he will try to make you an indoors person but if he can't he is might be willing to take a risk and go out once a week but just to the manga store and back,don't expect more,normie.

If you like any thing he likes he will try to test you and prove he is better than you,he doesn't give a fuck you are practically a child he can't loose.

If he wins he will be very happy and more open to you to open up with some things.

If he doesn't win he will cry when he is alone and call himself an ugly unworthy idiot who can't even be considered an otaku but relax my dude,MC will go to you and reassure you you know better than them and that they will love to hear what you have to say (even if they don't mean it,they love you and will love to see you happy again).

Knows the basics about demons and angels so he is not the best to go to if you have too many questions. That's the only time he will let his envy go away and tell you to go to Satan or Lucifer since they know more than him.

He does not takes his duty as a big brother as something serious since Lucifer is always there but if you call him "big brother" he is going to take that role serious but for you and you only.

Will 100% find siblings cosplays and gets you to do it with him.

If you ever said something like "I'm lucky that my big brother is also my best friend" he might tear up a little since he has never been considered someone's best friend ever.

If any of his brothers try to get you to call him "big brother" he will go on a rampage unless it's Lucifer. Boy is envious not dumb.

If it was Lucifer he will go to him later and ask you if he can stop trying to get you to call him that way because that's they way you call him and it makes him feel special. Lucifer will probably agree because he knows Levi doesn't feel special often so he might give in; if he doesn't Levi will start an argument and won't stop until Lucifer cuts him off or agrees.

Keep calling him big brother, he adores it.

✒Satan

As grumpy as he is,he loves to have yo by his side. Not because he loves company but because he likes to be able to answer all your questions.

Ask him anything about demons or angels and he knows it,fuck he is smart.

Will get you a notebook so you can write what he says and will give you books to read as "extra homework" it's kind of a bad deal if you think of it but it's his way to show love.

The only person who calls him "big brother" often is Asmo and got used to it coming from him and him only. If he hears you calling him that way he will probably jump out of happiness when he is alone but for know he will just answer to that name name and act like nothing happened.

You don't want to do your homework? Fine you can copy mine but just this once.

If you struggle with anything he will solve it for you,no cap.

He will get you cat themed items like pencils, notebooks,necklaces or rings.

Matching is a must. Not because he likes the concept of being associated with a part of someone but because he will love to brag with his brothers obviously.

Will definitely get mad if you ask any type of demon/angel related thing to others.

Names a cat after you but it's the cats middle name so he won't get mocked. Won't tell you tho.

Very very protective but good at hiding it. He might be following you down the street but you wouldn't even know. Kinda creepy? Yes. Have you ever got eaten? Nope.

✒Asmo

Yes! Exactly what he was waiting for.

You are part of his experiments. You don't like makeup? Well now you do. What type of clothes do you have? Do you have an aesthetic? No? Well now you do.

He is always there when you need him to. Best of them all to give advise when needed.

Definitely will be annoyed by all of your questions but will try to be as gentle as possible to tell you that.

Can help you to become really good at comebacks,believe him he knows best than anyone.

He is the one making sure you are educated when comes to sex. Simple but worthy lessons such as "sex is about experimenting and finding what you really like but you always need your partners consent" or "always have a safe word,even when you have vanilla type of sex" or the best one yet "if they want to fuck with you that's fine but always remember to use protection because I will not like to see you having a child so young or having an abortion" because yeah that's what big brothers do.

If you hit him with the "you are the best,big brother" he will jump into your arms and say that he knows he is the best but that hearing that was way too magical,do it again!

He is very aware of insecurities and will try to be the shoulder you cry on if you need to,he is always there to wipe of your tears (or wipe off the ones who hurt you).

Not as protective as the others but keeps an eye on you because your curiosity might hurt you.

Will be crushed if he sees you suffering from the most minimal thing. That lipstick does not fit your skin color? Fuck that lipstick! We are getting new ones,go get Lucifers card!

Spoils you way more than any other because he wants to create a brat. He needs to have someone like you who will cling into Lucifer and beg him to let you do dumb things because you know Lucifer can't say no to you. He needs your power and is not afraid to tell you that

Constant reassurance. He always calls you by cute nicknames and as long as you call him "my beautiful big brother" every time he is amused.

✒Beel

Baby is ready to give you life lessons. Don't stab anyone,drink enough water and be patient with the ones you love.

Yes,he learned the "don't stab anyone" from talking to Belphie.

Is very lost when it comes to you being so interested in demons and angels because he is not used to be the one answering the questions but making them. Bare with him, he is trying to get a good answer.

Will ask for advice on how to answer you, probably goes to Lucifer but mostly Belphie.

Soon you two start doing things together that involve learning from humans and angels. Maybe you are walking down the street working out and when you both start chatting about demon life and suddenly everything stops.

Beel is clueless when it comes to comforting someone about an insecuritie since he was the one being comforted most of the times but will give you space if you need to or do whatever you feel comfy with.

If you call him "big brother" he will hug you like no one has ever hugged you before. Teddy bear hugs are a must now.

Will die for you and is not afraid of telling you such. "MC I will die for you" "whAt?" "As your big brother I may protect you with my life" "Please don't."

Tells you how much he wants you to be happy and constantly asks if you have any type of dreams or goals.

If you do have goals or dreams he will encourage you to go get it. Beel is there to support you no matter what.

✒Belphie.

Absolutely fucking not.

Why is everyone spoiling this stupid brat and not me? I hate them.

But hold on there,he doesn't completely hates you he just hates the attention you get.

If you go to him with a soft attitude and ask him if you can nap together he will say yes and will enjoy the moment a lot .

He has never been someone's big brother so it kinda hits him if you call him like that and will try to act confident and smug about it but it's kinda terrified.

What if he doesn't catch up on the big brother thing and fucks up? He doesn't want to disappoint you or make you feel awkward. So he copies his big brother and tries his best,believe me he does.

You need help with something? Ugh well I will help but you owe me one (you don't owe him anything really,he just doesn't wants to be seen as soft for you). Oh did someone caused you problems? No biggie,I will take care of it.

Spoiler alert: he is very overprotective with you,he doesn't want to lose you.

[hikari-kaitou]

Capcom's Official AA Fanclub Surveys - DGS Edition

Many Western fans may be familiar with the Turnabout 4koma comics that get posted on the official AA fanclub site that Capcom runs, thanks to some lovely fans on tumblr and elsewhere who have shared their translations. What fewer people seem to know about is the character surveys.

Back in the old days, they used to hold a survey on Capcom's official AA fansite every few months where they'd write about the seasonal activities of a handful of characters and ask fans to vote for the funniest/most pleasant/strangest/etc answer.

They stopped doing them in like... 2016? 2017? The original text is lost for good as far as I can tell. Even the wayback machine couldn't help because the content was password locked and you can't get past the password wall while remaining in the archived version.

Fortunately, I saved some of my translations of them so I thought I’d share them.

Cut for length...

"February has begun, and the DGS cast is nearing the end of their journey aboard the RFS Alacrei. Which of them acted the most strangely?"

Ryuunosuke ~ Exhausted from his intensive study session, he decided to try some katana swinging practice as a change of pace and to combat his recent lack of exercise. But because he wasn't used to handling the katana, he swung it too hard and it went flying out of his hands and got stuck in the wall right next to Sherlock, who had just entered the room. Sherlock asked him, "aren't you supposed to be studying right now, Mr. Naruhodo?" and handcuffed him to his desk.

Susato- worked on developing a curriculum for Ryuunosuke. 'If we keep going at this pace, he won't be able to learn it all in time... It'll be hard on Naruhodo-sama, but we'll have to work hard through a couple of nights together.' With that thought, she created a harsh study schedule, and almost seemed to be looking forward to it for some reason.

Sherlock- Driven by excitement over the thought of returning to England after a long absence, he went up on deck to stare at the ocean. Being February, it was very cold out there and he ended up being chilled all the way to the tips of his fingers. He returned to the ship cabins and amused himself by putting his frozen hands on Ryuunosuke, who was stuck in his room studying.

Van Zieks- Upon hearing from Vortex that there was a Japanese exchange student coming to England to study law, he smashed a Lord's Bottle. He apparently also didn't care for the fact that that Japanese student wouldn't be alone, because he proceeded to shatter his chalice, too.

Hosonaga- in order to provide a respite from studying, he provided some hot chocolate. They enjoyed a pleasant tea time, marveling over how sweet and delicious the drink was until Sherlock piped up with some unnecessary trivia: 'Actually folks, chocolate has long been used in Europe as an aphrodisiac!' Everyone promptly spat it out."

"The long winter is nearly over and spring is on it's way, putting the DGS cast members in a celebratory mood. Who found the best way of enjoying spring?"

Ryuunosuke: the Yuumei University faculty members were holding a flower viewing event, and he joined the assistance committee. He exhausted himself keeping the blankets clean so the intense shower of flower petals wouldn't pile up too high on them, delivering sake and snacks, and mediating whatever pointless fights arose. To top it all off, for some reason his compensation was only a single piece of leftover candy. Talk about a sad result!

Susato- her father and the others living in his dormitory were  holding the flower viewing event, so she got up early to prepare the bentos. But her father carelessly forgot to tell her that they wanted tea cakes, so she had to go around the house and neighborhood collecting sweets. For some reason, she ended up being able to gather caramels, biscuits, candy sticks, basically everything but tea cakes, for the tea ceremony.

Sherlock- he disguised himself as a beat officer and infiltrated Scotland Yard to have some fun. There was a real beat officer napping on his feet in the spring sunshine, and while observing him, Sherlock ended up falling asleep too. Detective Gregson gave them a good scolding when he found them, but then Sherlock revealed his true identity with a "hey, it's me, folks!" "What the blazes do you think you're doing?!" Gregson shouted, his rage growing even more, and Sherlock ended up making a run for it.

Van Zieks- went to the vineyard to oversee the production of the contents of his Lord's Bottle. As he viewed the still unopened grape blossom buds, he thought about how they would someday grow up to fill his Lord's Bottle, and ended up going around to look at each one. But the farm hands couldn't stop wondering whether the bottle itself or its owner's heel might come flying at them and were quite uneasy.

Asougi: exhausted himself running around since early morning helping with the professors' flower viewing event. When it was over, he took a break, sharing his reward candy stick [the name of the candy literally translates to 1,000 year candy] with Ryuunosuke, who had also been helping out. 

"I wonder if the candy's effect is halved if you share it with someone."

"That still gives us 500 years."

They laughed and enjoyed looking at the flowers until dark. Then they parted ways with a handshake and a "see you later, best friend."

(This one was something about celebrating New Years. For some reason I didn't save the original question)

"Ryuunosuke ~ To celebrate New Years, he planned to pound mochi with everyone at the office. He somehow managed to get his hands on some mochi rice and he and Sherlock started pounding. Iris was having such fun watching them that she steamed a whole bunch more mochi rice so they could have some to share, and he and Sherlock spent the whole evening pounding mochi like crazy.

Asougi~ Because it's New Years, he went around to a bunch of shrines. When he drew his new year's fortune, he got a "horrible luck" result. "I'm not worried about it," he claimed, and headed up to the mountains early on New Years morning and work hard on a full training course of purification by water, meditation under a waterfall and wooden sword practice. It seems that he was working really hard to clear his mind of all earthly thoughts

Sherlock- Agreed to help Ryuunosuke pound mochi. As Ryuunosuke was flipping the mochi over, he carelessly dropped his badge into the bowl and Sherlock mixed it in without noticing, so they had to crack open both the hard and soft mochi to look for it. Fortunately they found it in the 4th one they checked, but apparently Sherlock got his hands and face covered in sticky white mochi in the process.

Susato- Wore a furisode and went with her father to do the first shrine visit of the year. The shrine was incredibly crowded and they had to wait in line for a long time, but she brought the Encyclopaedia of British Law and a copy of the Strand Magazine in her sleeves to secretly read as they waited so she actually ended up enjoying the wait.

Van Zieks- Ryuunosuke cheerfully gave him some mochi as a New Year’s (which at that time was celebrated at the same time as the Chinese New Year) gift, which he accepted confusedly, wondering “...Can the Japanese not even keep track of when the New Year is?” Because Ryuunosuke referred to it as a rice cake, he tried to eat it like a regular cake without softening it with heat first. It was so hard that he couldn’t imagine how it could possibly be food, and ended up misunderstanding the Japanese even more!

"Autumn has arrived, and the weather is starting to cool off, which means that everyone is becoming more active. Which character chose the most pleasant autumn activity to keep busy with?"

Iris was making bread but her hands are small and it’s difficult for her to knead the dough, so she asked for Ryuunosuke’s help. She wanted to make enough to hand out to Gina and all the other homeless children in the East End, so she made a massive amount and Ryuunosuke was stuck kneading this massive mountain of bread dough all day. Apparently he became such a expert at kneading that he could be a baker now.

Asougi was practicing with his sword, slicing autumn-colored ginko leaves as they fell from the tree. He cut so many leaves, though, that he ended up making a big mess on the ground, the number of fallen leaves now having increased, and it took him a long time to clean it all up.    

Sherlock: Ryuunosuke told him that he was making anpan (bread filled with sweet red bean paste, the bane of my Asian-dwelling existance) and asked Sherlock to help by being in charge of getting the poppy seeds they’d need to sprinkle on top, so Sherlock went out and gathered a ton of poppy seeds. In fact, he got so many of them that no one knew what to do with them all cuz they had a huge amount of leftovers. Sherlock said, “Well, they’re only the size of poppy seeds! Surely you two can deal with them somehow! Ahahaha!” and Iris scolded him.   

(I couldn’t capture it in English, but Sherlock’s line contained a pun, and a pretty stupid one at that, so that’s part of why he got scolded)

It’s grape harvesting season, so Van Zieks commutes to the winery regularly to direct the production of the contents for his “Lord’s Bottle.” He demands perfection in everything from the selection of the grapes to the way they’re squeezed, and the winery staff is terrified by the “grim reaper’s” gaze and heel swinging (i.e. the leg thing he does in court) so they grumble as they work. 

"Hearing that there’s a holiday in the West called Halloween, the people involved with the court in Japan decided to try it out themselves. Naturally Halloween is a big deal in England as well. So, which member of the DGS cast had the best celebration?"

Team Ryuunosuke and Asougi- Asougi got Naruhodo up on his shoulders and they draped a white sheet over themselves to make a ghost costume. They went out like that, but Naruhodo had such exaggerated reactions to the fear of the people who saw them and to bumping his head on tree branches that they ended up losing their balance and falling on top of each other?!   

Sherlock Holmes- went wearing a horse’s head mask. Iris used her skills to make it a fancy horse covered in stars, but the eye holes weren’t well made and he had to wander around blindly. Because of that he tripped hard over a pile of coal! He ended up getting so dirty that the stars on his costume were covered up!

Van Zieks- took inspiration from his nickname and dressed up as the grim reaper. He covered himself up with a skeleton mask and hood figuring no one would know it was him. Unfortunately he got angry when he saw Megundal (McGilded) pass by and started throwing bottles and glasses and ended up giving himself away.

"November has arrived, and autumn is nearing its end. However, the DGS cast is still keeping busy, even on their days off. Which character chose the most interesting way to spend their late autumn day?"

Ryuunosuke- Thinking that he’d better learn more about British culture if he was going to be a defense attorney in Britain, he went down to the East End with Gina for a little observation. However, because an Asian like him stood out so much, he got mobbed by the other children. On top of it all, his arm band got stolen from him and he had to send a replacement request to Yumei University on the other side of the ocean.

Asougi- He went for a meal at La Quantas. The customer at a nearby table got a persimmon for dessert and scarfed it down, saying “Mm! This is it! This sweetness makes it worthy of being called a treasure among foods!” Asougi tried to comment on this by saying, “The customer at that table sure is enjoying his pershim--gak!” but he may or may not have accidentally bitten his tongue in the process and been unable to finish his sentence.

Iris- She accepted Ryuunosuke’s request to learn more about British culture and prepared a bagpipe and kilt costume for him. “This outfit sure is breezy,” Ryuunosuke said shyly upon trying it on. With Ryuunosuke now dressed, he, Iris, and the others from their office headed over to Gregson’s place to get him to treat them to some fish and chips.   

Sherlock- He accepted Ryuunosuke’s request to learn more about British culture and cooked up some European style curry for dinner. Thanks to the fact that his secret ingredient was a large amount of Chinese herbal medicine style spice, it caused some strange side effects and Ryuunosuke, who’d eaten it, ended up passing out and falling over.

“Another taxing trial for Ryuunosuke has finished and now it’s December. As the year draws to a close, which character acts the strangest?”

Ryuunosuke- he was recruited to help with snow removal around Yumei University and the courthouse and he enthusiastically began his task with the help of a large shovel. He got a little carried away, though, and ended up accidentally burying his umbrella, which he’d left propped up against the side of the building, in the snow he’d just finished shoveling.  He had no choice but to share Asougi’s umbrella on the way home.

Asougi- On the way home, he nods silently to Ryuunosuke’s question of whether he’d finished his travel preparations and changes the subject: “...Come to think of it, it seems that tomorrow is celebrated in the West as God’s birthday.” “I’ve heard that they eat chicken as part of the traditional celebration. Wanna try it?” Ryuunosuke asks invitingly. Asougi is strongly opposed to that particular menu item, however, and they end up going out for their usual beef stew that night instead.           

Susato- in addition to her year-end travel preparations, she also was busy with straightening up the book room in her home. She managed to get the law books in order when she suddenly stumbled upon some old issues of Strand Magazine! She hurried through the rest of her cleaning, then began flipping through the magazines she’d found, trying to decide which to take with her on her trip. She accidentally lost herself in her reading and didn’t realize it until it was already the middle of the night.

Sherlock- he was in the middle of a long ship voyage when Christmas night came. His mind on his partner in a far-off country, he made a toast alone on deck, when suddenly the crew began shooting off fireworks with a cry of “Merry Christmas!” Sherlock had to dart back and forth across the deck to prevent the fireworks from hitting him and setting off the explosive chemicals he carries with him.

Main series edition

[literaryslapshot]

Hey! For the valentines prompts, maybe 11 with Freddie Andersen please? 😊

valentines blurb event

"it really sucks, being stood up on valentines day"

contains: angst, gn!reader, cuss words

another long night in raleigh, north carolina for you and your employees. you either got lovesick couples, feeding each other spaghetti and breadsticks while getting tipsy on the most expensive wine you have, or you have the lonely people sitting at the bar, also eating breadsticks but getting tipsy on scotch and whiskey instead.

your upscale restaurant kept quiet while reservations went in and out since opening. while you usually manned the bar area along with one of your managers, ben, tonight you helped wait tables and take food where it needed to go. it was true, what they say about the restaurant business on valentines day. it's never empty, and it's quite sad. you could always count on every table being occupied at some point during the night, but you could also count on there being a sad, somber tone over the room.

"alright sir, what can i get started for you?" you asked, walking up to a table in the corner where there sat a man dressed in a dark colored suit, an expensive looking watch on his wrist, and his bright red hair combed neatly.

"i'll just start off with water, i'll wait until the other party arrives to order." he responded. shortly you came back with the water, noticing that his date had still yet to arrive. you could see where this was going.

they always say i'll wait til they arrive but they usually, nine times out of ten, never come. it's sad, honestly. you never understood why people stood their dates up. you made sure to keep an eye on him, as you went about, taking other people's orders and cleaning up tables, getting it ready for the next couple.

ten minutes went by, and he was still alone. he was playing on his phone, probably checking to see if his date had texted him. he set his phone down and you saw the somber look on his face, and you knew you had to do the right thing.

walking over to his table he looked up at you and gave you a thin lipped grin, one that you've seen too many times tonight. "is your other party arriving soon?" you asked, holding your ticket book in your hand. he shook his head and dipped his head, taking another sip of water before looking back up. you felt bad for him.

"no, probably not. i mean i haven't gotten a text or anything but, i'll bet on her not showing." he replied. his voice was low and grumbly, nearly sounding like he was sick to the stomach.

"i'll tell you what," you started, picking up the coasters and setting them in your back pocket, taking his glass of water in your hand. "whatever you want is on the house, you can have a seat at the bar."

he got up reluctantly, following you to have a seat at the bar. he sat at the very end, close to where the exit was. he prayed to God that nobody saw his pitiful spot over on the other side of the building and snapped a picture, putting it on social media for everyone to see and make fun of. that would be his luck.

"are you sure your manager, or owner wouldn't mind?" he asked you as you poured him another glass over water and handed him a menu. you smiled, standing in front of him from across the bar.

"i am the owner, and i don't mind at all. it sucks, being stood up on valentines day. it's the least i could do." both of you chuckled as he opened the menu, scanning over all of his options. "have you ever been here before...?" you asked, insuiting for him to give you his name.

"freddie, and i actually haven't. i'm kinda, new in town." he answered.

"well i am glad you're here. and i would recommend the sirloin steak, if you're a steak person. glen back there can grill a steak like nobody's business. do you want something besides water to drink?"

he grinned, handing you the menu and shaking his head. "no, i'll take the steak to-go. i actually have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, so i probably need to get home at a decent hour. as much as i'd love to continue to talk with you, though."

his words made your cheeks heat up and a light smile come to your lips. you turn around and show him your smile, "i'll go put your order in. what sides would you like, freddie?"

"surprise me."

you leave freddie at the bar for a while, as you go and tend to some other tables that need it. taking orders to where they need to go, giving tips to the employees who you think deserve them, and ushering people to where they need to go.

by the time his order is ready you pause before taking it to him. you tear out a piece of paper from your book and write down your name and number with a heart. a deep breath, you take the bag of food with some extra breadsticks to where he is sitting. "here you go, freddie. all for you, on the house."

he smiles, standing up and taking the sack of food from your hands. though he is nearly towering over you, he doesn't make you feel small or nervous. he actually calms you, strange.

"thank you, it means a lot." right before he walks out he turns back, "i didn't catch your name," you giggle- you feel like you're in a movie. and maybe you are, maybe somewhere someone has a hidden camera filming it all.

"it's in the bag, with my number." he chuckles, giving you a head nod before walking out the door.

[mjolnir-steve]

Foolish

Frank Adler x fem!Reader

Word count: 5027 (oop)

Warnings: light drinking, very brief mention of suicide, some cursing, smut (18+ ONLY!!!), unprotected sex (m/f) ... Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Hi, y’all! Here’s my entry for @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817’s Shameless Hoes for Chris Challenge!!!! I haven’t written smut in a LONG time, so please be gentle with me LOL. Here’s what I got:

Frank Adler

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

Breeding / mutual pining 🥴

I’d like to dedicate this to @rodrikstark for always sharing the Frank Adler feels and @sparkledfirecracker for bullying me (with love) into finishing this. ❤️

If you like this fic, please comment and reblog!!! I hope you enjoy. :)

Fridays never seemed to come soon enough. You looked forward to the beginning of the weekend as much as the next person, but over the last few months, Friday nights took on new meaning for you. You moved to the trailer park a little less than a year ago, wanting to buy a small place of your own and start making a home for yourself. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t expensive, and it was only a ten-minute drive from your office where you’d just secured a promotion. Roberta, the manager, helped you make it feel like home right away, insisting on going with you to pick out paint samples and providing copies of menus for the best take-out in the area.

Before long, Roberta introduced you to the trailer park’s resident certified genius, Mary Adler. Mary and Roberta spent Saturday mornings with you when you were free, which unfortunately, was pretty much all the time. You played games, sang karaoke, and even let Mary’s one-eyed cat Fred come over. He took a liking to your swinging chair in the living room, and if Mary couldn’t find him at home, odds were he somehow squeezed through your window and ended up in that chair. 

Another two months had passed, though, before you met Mary’s uncle and guardian, Frank. You came to learn that Mary stayed with Roberta every Friday night because “Frank needs time to be an adult” and she was not allowed to come back to the house until noon on Saturdays. This information made you feel like Frank must be some kind of sad, perpetual fuckboy. You were right about the sad part, not so much about the latter. One morning while Mary played with your watercolors, Roberta let slip - ironically over a cup of tea - that Frank did have the occasional hookup, but usually, he drank himself sleepy on Friday nights and just needed the time to himself. He worked himself to the bone as a boat mechanic, often late into the night because it was too hot to do some jobs during the day. Frank took Mary in when she was just a baby after his sister, her mother, tragically committed suicide. He spent the majority of his scarce free time with Mary, so when Mary was still a toddler, Roberta offered the Friday night deal. Frank countered that he would do any repairs in the trailer park for free, but she refused to let him do that work without pay, saying he deserved to have a life, too. 

She also informed you that Frank was a former philosophy professor, single, and very attractive, especially if you were into the rugged thing. You rolled your eyes with an amused exhale and took another sip of your tea. You’d be lying if you said your interest wasn’t piqued. Mary then shouted over her shoulder, confirming that she’d been listening to your entire conversation, “Frank is great, but he’s a grump. Good luck cracking that egg.” You snorted, nearly spitting out your tea, and she went back to reading your color theory book to Fred.

With that, you heard a sharp rap at the door. You set your tea down on the kitchen table, curious who your visitor might be. You didn’t know anyone else in the trailer park, or in town, really. You opened the door, taking in the sight of possibly - no, definitely - the most handsome man you’d ever seen. You quickly guessed it was Frank, judging by the grease smeared on his quite large hands. His eyes, though tired, had the same bright look as Mary’s, and he had the most perfectly imperfect fluffy hair and overgrown stubble.

“Good morning,” he said with a sweet, closed-mouthed smile. “Is Mary here?”

You had to remind yourself to breathe. Stammering, you opened the door wider, gesturing inside. “Hi, y-yes. She is!” Why am I like this? “She’s just painting with Fred. Please, come in.” You moved aside so he could fit his broad shoulders through the doorframe and then held out your hand. “You must be Frank. I’m Y/N. Mary is just wonderful.” You smiled at him, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

He took your hand in both of his, gentler than you’d expected. “I’m sorry. Yes, I’m Frank. It’s great to meet you, finally.” He smiled wide for the first time and you were certain you’d pass out. Who LOOKS like this? “And thank you, she really is wonderful. I couldn’t do it without Roberta. She’s family.” He smiled and waved at Roberta, who was looking at you over the lip of her mug.

Mary didn’t even bother to turn around and face Frank. “What are you doing here, Frank? It’s only 11. I have a whole ‘nother hour with my friends.” You tried to keep your laugh quiet, covering your mouth with your hand and shaking your head.

“Well, excuse me for thinking you might like to go out on the boat with me this morning. I guess I’ll go by myself.”

Mary jumped up from the floor, scrambling to clean up your paints and books. “Can Y/N and Roberta come?”

Frank crouched down to meet Mary’s eyes. “Of course they can, if they’d like.” He looked back at you over his shoulder, trying to gauge your interest, then turning back to his niece. “But do you remember what I told you?”

You could see that Mary was making a conscious effort not to roll her eyes. “You told me that my adult friends have adult lives that include adult responsibilities, and they might not always be available to spend time with me.”

“And?” he looked at her expectantly.

“And I need to invite them to do things without assuming they will do them.” She couldn’t hold back her eye roll any longer, but she made sure not to let Frank see. “Roberta, Y/N, would you both like to join us on the boat today?”

You were amazed by the exchange taking place in front of you, able to see where some of Mary’s brains and tenacity came from. The conversation between the two flowed so easily, playful yet intelligent. It was clear that Frank treated Mary not as a child, but as a person, and you chided yourself internally for thinking that was kinda hot. 

Shaking yourself out of your mildly inappropriate thoughts, you responded. “I’d love to come, Mary.” You smiled at her, bending over to help her pick up the last of the paints from the floor. “Roberta?”

Roberta gave you a look and you just knew she planned this somehow. “I actually do have some of those adult responsibilities to handle today, but thank you for inviting me.” You sent a glare in her direction, quick but no less scathing. “Maybe next time.” She winked at you before washing out her mug and saying her goodbyes.

You spent the whole rest of the day and night with Frank and Mary, doing everything from building sandcastles to cooking dinner together. Mary eventually fell asleep in your lap as you were watching Oliver & Company, Frank’s favorite Disney film that had become Mary’s, too. “An underrated classic,” they told you in unison.

You helped Frank put Mary to bed, a task made easier after such a tiring day. “I guess I should get going.” You stood awkwardly in the small kitchen, unsure of yourself and painfully aware of how close your hand was to Frank’s resting on the counter.

“Yeah, I have a job early in the morning.” He looked down at his shoes, unable to look you in the eye, and you wondered if he hadn’t found your company as enjoyable as you’d found his.

“Listen, I don’t know if you’ve been to Ferg’s? The little bar down the road? I go every Friday night just to relax and have a few beers. Maybe you’d like to come with me next weekend?”

Is he asking me on a date? You could feel your heartbeat racing. The look on your face must not have matched the excitement you felt at the prospect of spending time alone with the dreamy, kind, sarcastic man in front of you. 

He felt like an idiot when you hesitated to answer. He clearly read everything wrong. He had to fix this. “It’s a good place to meet people, you know? I know you’re fairly new to the area, so if you’re looking for more local friends, it’s a good place to start.” He winced, hoping you couldn’t sense his embarrassment at thinking that you would want to go on a date with him.

You swallowed, trying not to let your disappointment show outwardly. Of course he’s not interested in me. Stupid. “Oh, yeah! That would be great, Frank. What time?”

Frank let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, relieved that you didn’t seem offended by his offer. “How’s 7? I’ll pick you up? We can walk over together.”

And that’s how Fridays came to mean so much to you. Almost every Friday for the last six months, Frank met you at your door and you walked to Ferg’s together. Frank told you it would be a good place to make new friends, but you paid no mind to the other patrons. You only had eyes for each other, yet neither of you could see it, even though Roberta pointed out (repeatedly) that neither of you had taken anyone else home in all that time.

The more time you spent with Frank, the more certain you were that God was real and your life was His favorite trainwreck reality TV series. Even if you could have customized a dream man Build-A-Bear style, Frank still would blow your creation out of the water. He was smart and funny, not to mention an adoring parent to Mary, to whom you grew more attached each day. He was kind and thoughtful, talented and hard-working. Although he was a grouch, as Mary would say, he always was sweet to you. He took a genuine interest in anything you had to say, whether you were venting about work or filling him on the latest episode of whatever show you were binging. He was ridiculously sexy without even trying. All those hours he spent doing manual labor in the sun did wonders for his physique. You’d only seen him completely shirtless on one occasion, and the image of him with sweat dripping down his chest was burned into your memory, fueling your late-night thots and causing you to break out your vibrator on what was now a regular basis.

Six months had come and gone in the blink of an eye, and you’d begun to accept that Frank didn’t want to be anything more than friends with you. You decided tonight was as good a night as any to talk to someone new, to start letting go of your unrequited feelings. 

You swapped out your usual jeans for a sundress, t-shirt bra for a push-up, and lip balm for lipstick. Putting your phone and some cash in a wristlet, you considered wearing your new strappy sandals. The walk to Ferg’s was about five minutes each way down a sandy road, though, and memories of the sticky floor inside aided your preferred pair of Converse in their victory for the night. 

Just as you finished tying your shoes, you heard a knock at the door. You adjusted your cleavage and fluffed your hair a final time with one last look in the mirror. Here goes.

Frank felt like he had the wind knocked out of him in the best possible way. He suddenly felt entirely underdressed in his aloha shirt, even though it was his go-to for nights out of the house. He’d never seen you dressed so nicely when you weren’t going to work. 

You were the kind of beautiful that didn’t require makeup. Your natural hair always framed your face perfectly, even if you didn’t think so. He thought you were adorable when you were concentrating on something, blowing your hair out of your face with a huff. Visions of your soft curves made their way into Frank’s dreams on more than one occasion. He had seen you in your swimsuit several times, sunbathing with Roberta and swimming with Mary at the beach. It wasn’t even all that revealing, but it accentuated your figure in ways that forced Frank into needing a cold shower or two. Above all, though, he admired your heart. You’d allowed Mary into your life without hesitation, spending time with her because you wanted to and allowing her to ask all those questions that Frank just wouldn’t be able to answer. It killed him that you didn’t see him the way he saw you, a perfect partner for him and a worthy maternal figure for Mary.

“Frank? You okay?” Your concerned voice shook him out of his thoughts, prompting him to close his mouth which apparently had opened wide in astonishment when you stood in the doorway.

“Yeah, um... You look…” He looked a little confused, his brow furrowed and lips pursed. “Why are you all dolled up? It’s only Ferg’s.” He wished he could’ve kicked himself in the teeth when your face fell at his question. He rubbed a hand over his face. “Shit. Let me try that again,” he nearly begged, running up to you to stop you from going back inside. “You look really nice, honey.” He ran his calloused hand up your forearm, but quickly returned it to his side when he realized what he’d done. “Is it a special occasion, though? Should I change?”

You gave him a watery smile, given that you were three seconds from slamming the door in his face and crying. “That’s better. Thank you.” You lightly pushed at his shoulder, trying and failing to ignore the electricity you felt at the contact. “No occasion, though. Just thought maybe it was about time I actually introduced myself to someone new.” 

You couldn’t quite read his reaction. Little did you know he was certain he just felt his heart physically crack in his chest. “What do you mean?”

The two of you started walking, the tension between you thickening the very air you breathed. “Well, when you first invited me to Ferg’s, you said maybe I’d get to know some other people in the area, right? But we’re always with each other. I’m sure you’re itching to talk to someone other than me. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“Ah. Gotcha.” Frank abruptly reverted to the quiet, distant state he usually occupied before he met you. He sped up a bit, walking ahead of you and desperately attempting to school his features before you caught up with him.

Frank practically ran to the restroom, not slowing down even to hold the door open for you. You took a deep breath and rolled your shoulders, relaxing before entering the bar. Normally, whoever made it first would order drinks for you both, but Frank made it painfully clear that he had no desire to be in your company tonight. You ordered your usual, an Angry Orchard with a shot of Fireball in a tall glass. The combination tasted like apple cider, but the burn in your throat was caused by liquor rather than heat. It was strong enough to get you buzzed, but not so strong that you’d be stumbling home. You swallowed half the glass in one gulp, wanting to feel the warmth in your veins boosting your confidence as quickly as possible.

“Y/N? How are you?” You turned around, eyes meeting those of Jamie, your coworker. He leaned in for a hug and you accepted somewhat reluctantly, having interacted with him only in passing.

“Hey! I’m all right. What’s up?” You smiled at him, taking another sip of your drink. Jamie was not very subtly staring at your chest. You weren’t crazy about him, but the attention felt nice, so you allowed it.

“Not much. Just happy it’s Friday, ya know?” He looked around for a moment before returning his attention to you. “You’re usually here with that mechanic dude, right?”

You stifled a laugh thinking about how Frank would react if he heard himself referred to as “dude” by this prick. “Yeah, he’s around somewhere. We’re just-“

“-Just friends?” he finished for you with a hopeful look.

You nodded in response, looking him up and down. He was no Frank, but you couldn’t deny he was handsome. It had been so long since you’d even been kissed, and though you hated to admit it, you were touch-starved. One night couldn’t hurt, could it?

Meanwhile, Frank was splashing his face with cool water. He couldn’t believe he’d fucked up so royally. He was sure you didn’t want him how he wanted you, and now he was sure it was too late to tell you how he really felt.

He knew from the moment he saw you that he’d never get you out of his head. Roberta had been talking you up to Frank for weeks, but he wanted no part of it, mumbling something about there being “a reason why no one used matchmakers anymore.” He had no choice but to make your acquaintance when he was looking for Mary, and he’d never been so happy that Roberta could say she told him so.

Later that day at the beach, Mary approached him while you were dozing on a towel in the sand. She sat on his lap and reached for his face, using her pointer fingers to turn the straight line of his mouth up into a smile. “Roberta says you have a ‘charming’ smile, Frank. We think you should use it more.” He chuckled quietly, careful not to disturb you, and pulled Mary in close, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. She grimaced at the feeling, dramatically wiping at her face until he let her go back to reading with Fred.

The sound of the jukebox starting up cut short his reverie. He had to get out there and explain himself. Frank dried his face and hands with a paper towel before smacking his cheeks and stretching his neck back and forth to each shoulder. 

Frank exited the restroom only to find some douchebag staring at your ass as you leaned over toward the bar. He saw red when the piece of shit held out his hand behind his back while his friend slipped a twenty-dollar bill into it, seemingly winning some sort of bet.

Jamie didn’t stand a chance when Frank stormed in between the two of you. “That’s IT,” he yelled, so intense he borderline bellowed. He threw whatever cash he had in his pocket on the bar to pay for your drinks before he pulled you outside, almost getting to your door while you fought against his grip. He only stopped when you spun your body around like something out of Dancing with the Stars and jumped in front of him, forcing him to catch you.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what are y-”

“-What are YOU doing, Frank? What the fuck was that?” You put your feet back down on the ground but remained facing him, arms crossed over your chest.

He groaned in frustration, suddenly realizing he actually had no clue how to respond. “Fuck.”

You looked at him, tapping your foot in anticipation.

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.” He rubbed at his temples in the way he did when he felt a headache coming on.

“And how was he looking at me, Frank? What does it matter to you?”

“He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat and I… FUCK!”

You both turned when your neighbor opened his window. “Can you kids keep it down out here?”

You waved bashfully at the old man. “Sorry, Mr. Parker,” you said in unison.

“Come inside, Frankie.” The nickname that typically made him roll his eyes at you never had sounded sweeter, now that its use confirmed you didn’t hate him for the scene he made. You both toed off your shoes at the door before you made your way into the living room, motioning for him to sit next to you on the couch when he tried to sit in the armchair across the room.

You leaned forward, pinching his chin between your thumb and forefinger. “Now what’s going on in that sun-damaged brain of yours?”

He let out a laugh so soft you almost missed it, but you were glad you didn’t. Sitting back against the arm of the couch, you pulled a pillow into your lap and hugged it, giving Frank your full attention.

Frank cleared his throat, doing his best to accept that it was now or never. “That guy was leering at you, and it pissed me off. You deserve better, Y/N.” He pried your fingers from where they were locked around the pillow to hold your hands in his.

“If you want to meet new people, that’s great. If you don’t want to be with me, that’s a little less great, but I’d understand. He didn’t even pay for your drinks. And I th-”

You covered his mouth with one of your hands, and he knitted his brows in confusion. “You’re making it sound like it’s an option to be with you.” You were in disbelief, side-eyeing him, waiting for Ashton Kutcher to announce that you were, in fact, being Punk’d. 

The corners of his mouth lifted into the soft smile he reserved for you. It was the same one he gave you whether you were on a tangent about how “Obsessed” by Mariah Carey is “the single greatest diss track of all time” or you were helping Mary put a harness and leash on Fred “just to see how he’d do” on a walk.

“For a distinguished professor, you’re kind of a dummy, Frank.” You took his face in your hands, thrilled to be feeling his stubble against your palms. Before he could talk back to you, you kissed him, unsure how you denied yourselves such a simple yet extraordinary pleasure for so long. It only took a moment for him to relax into it, his hands removing the pillow between you before finding your waist and pulling you almost into his lap.

You deepened the kiss, threading your fingers through his hair. He pulled away first, pressing his forehead to yours. “Seems like we’re both dummies, huh?” 

You were going to ask why pulled away until you looked down to see a considerable tent forming in the front of his jeans. You laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug, one arm wrapped around you while the other hand held your face against his neck.

You kissed the side of his neck softly before leaning back to look at him. “All this time? I thought you didn’t see me this way.” You held his face, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You asked me to go to Ferg’s and then said I could meet other people, so I thought that was it, you know?”

He covered your hands with his and pecked your lips softly. “Honey, I thought it was the other way around. I was trying to ask you out and you looked like you’d seen a ghost.” You giggled, spluttering a bit because tears had started falling at some point. He wiped your tears away before swiping his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down a bit. “We’re fools, aren’t we?”

You nodded slowly and Frank saw something wicked flash in your eyes before you took his thumb in your mouth, sucking lightly. “Jesus, honey.” His length hardened underneath you and you could feel the wetness beginning to pool in your panties, prompting you to grind down into his lap.

You released his thumb from your mouth, pressing your chest into his before kissing him again. “I think we’re only fools if we don’t take advantage of the rest of your adult time.” You removed your dress easily, returning your hands to Frank’s shoulders to push off his shirt.

He surged forward to kiss you again, working magic with his tongue against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he picked you up, walking you into the bedroom. Placing you on the bed carefully, he removed your bra and panties before pulling off his boxers and jeans in one go. You thought you wanted him before, but now that you could see everything he’d been hiding under his baggy clothes, you didn’t see how you could ever let him leave your bedroom.

The next few minutes were spent exploring each other’s mouths while Frank stretched you with his fingers. You didn’t think you’d ever been so wet in your life and thought you might pass out if you didn’t feel him inside you immediately. You gave his cock a few strokes before sliding his head through your folds, coating him in your slick.

“Waitwaitwait, honey. Do you have a condom?”

“You don’t need one if you don’t want one. It’s okay.”

He looked like you just gave him tomorrow’s winning lotto numbers, taking a deep breath to steady himself before he looked at you again. “Oh, God. Are you sure?”

“Mhm. I wanna feel you. Make me yours?”

“Anything you want, honey, but if you change your mind, just tell me, okay?” He lined himself up, seconds shy of entering you for the first time.

“I figured if you were gonna be possessive of me tonight, you might as well take it the whole nine, Frankie.” You laughed as he let out an exasperated sigh. “Seriously, though, I’m clean, I’m on the pill, and I’ve wanted you for a long time.” You reached up to scratch lightly through his chest hair.

“The only thing I wanna hear right now is you moaning for me.” He drove into you harshly, but waited a moment for you to adjust once he was seated to the hilt. “So damn wet and tight for me, honey. You’re so perfect, so beautiful.” He kissed you again before he began to move, slowly but surely making you lose your mind.

He dipped his head down to take one nipple in his mouth, then the other, effectively shutting you up and emptying all thoughts from your head. He nipped at the swell of your breast, soothing the bite with his tongue. “Fuck, Frank, please!”

“Please what, honey?” He picked up his pace, fucking into you so vigorously you moved up the bed. “Tell me what you need.”

“Make me cum, Frank. Please, baby, I need it. Need you,” you cried, leaning up to bite into his shoulder, stifling your moans.

“I wanna hear you, Y/N. I wanna hear those pretty moans while I’m making this perfect pussy cum for me.” The combination of his filthy words and the sight of him sucking on his own fingers before rubbing at your clit sent you over the edge, making you scream his name over and over again for what felt like forever and not long enough.

You could tell he was close, his hips stuttering and losing their rhythm. He began to pull out, unsure if you were willing to let him finish inside you, but knowing he was too close to wait for an answer.

You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him close, pushing him back into you. “Fill me up, Frank. I wanna feel all of you. Please give it to me,” you whimpered. His release triggered another for you, chanting each other’s names surely loud enough for the neighbors to hear. 

He stayed inside you as you both came down from your shared high, gingerly flipping you over so he laid on his back with you on his chest. He kissed the top of your head, fingers fluttering up and down your sides. 

“What’s on your mind now, Frankie?” You looked up at him through your lashes, mildly terrified of the answer.

He looked down at you with the most adoration you’d ever seen, lifting your chin so your eyes met his in the moonlight. “That wasn’t too soon, was it? You mean so much to me and to Mary. I don’t wanna mess this up. I don’t ever wanna hurt you. You’re the best thing in my life besides Mary, you know that?”

You kissed his chest before looking back up at him, smiling. “First of all, I would argue that wasn’t soon enough.” He hissed as you clenched around his still softening cock inside you.

“You’re evil.”

Winking at him, you continued tracing patterns on his chest with your fingers. “Second, that all kinda sounds like you might be in love with me, Frank Adler.”

His hands stopped moving for a second before he responded. “Would you run away if I said I am?”

“Well, I wouldn’t run away. This is my house.” You thought your heart might explode in your chest.

“I didn’t even say it, but I take it back,” he huffed, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“What if I told you I felt the same way?”

He grinned, sitting up to kiss you feverishly on your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and finally your lips. You could feel him starting to harden again inside you, leading to round two of… well, you lost count.

You ate breakfast and showered together in time for Frank to return home before Mary did, agreeing to talk more later and to hold out on Roberta for a while.

Frank stood on your doorstep, leaning in to kiss you once more. All of a sudden, you heard a familiar meow and thanked God you were dressed and not in your robe.

“Frank, what are you doing here? I thought I’d come see Y/N since I’m not supposed to come home until noon.”

You bit your tongue to keep from cackling. Frank ran a hand over his face, his blissful bubble burst. He was getting you a hotel room next weekend.